#this chapter has sex
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fuckyeahchinesefashion · 15 days ago
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OP: Check out. The fully-sexual charged cinematic movement design.
Cnetizens: How did the director come up with the idea to have him kneel on a playing card, adding so much aesthetic energy, is that some kind of genius?
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#china#cdramas#dramas#lmao#They are siblings and they're discussing serious matters#this scene is actually rather heavy because the younger brother is involved in drug trafficking#carrying more than 50 grams of heroin will result in a death sentence in china let alone being involved in drug trafficking#the older brother is a gangster king#but even he doesn't dare to get involved in the drug business because it will bring about the demise of his family#sorry for digression I mean how did the director make this scene which has absolutely nothing to do with sex#so sexually charged?#btw there're many posts with rich information about China's crackdown on drug crimes on xhs and douyin#especially about how the four major drug-trafficking families in Myanmar were wiped out overnight#they buried undercover Chinese counter-narcotics police alive and kidnapped and brutally excuted civilians#so if you're interested you can go with the key words 缅甸四大家族覆灭 on xhs and douyin#cnetizens' views on drugs are related to modern Chinese history#the first chapter of modern history in high school textbooks is the opium wars#There's a very dark joke on xhs about which country in the world would least like China to withdraw from the P5#and the answer is the UK#because it's in the first chapter of China's modern history#the Destruction of opium at Humen in 1839#no offence but Breaking Bad can't last for more than one episode if it happens in china because of the sewer detection technology#they can detect the tiniest amount of drugs in feces in a body of water the size of a lake for up to six months#which can be quickly locked down to neighbourhoods and portals#Once a foreigner was caught smuggling and selling 222.035 kg drugs in China and sentenced to death with two other Chinese associates#his country's prime minister asked for his extradition#cnetizens commented that there was an opium war and he still dare to come to China to sell drugs be like 找死court death#All the above information is to explain the gangster king's attitude towards his brother's drug business
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starry-bi-sky · 30 days ago
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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notcoolbutcute · 8 days ago
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Yk how there is/was that trend of "yea sex is great but have you ever..." I think we should start some polar opposite of that. E.g.
sure, heartbreak is horrible, but have you ever read chapter 40???
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witchofthesouls · 2 months ago
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More Dad! Megatron but this time with some heavy angst.
As kids, I think we can all agree that we stumbled upon something our parents didn’t want us seeing/knowing about but did anyway no matter how careful they were.
Maybe one night, when she was supposed to be alseep, Megatron’s kid (who is young at the time like 6-10) sneaks out of bed for some reason or another and sees her dad doing something very bad and it scares her so much that she runs as quietly and quickly as she can back to her room and pretends to be asleep. The next day she is distant and fearful of her father, actively avoiding him.
Maybe Megatron knows she saw him that night or maybe he has to piece it together when she suddenly becomes distant and skittish with him afterwards but either way, their relationship probably won’t ever be the same.
Megatron knew exactly what his daughter had witnessed when she refused to meet his gaze, making herself small and quiet, even in her root-mode.
At first, he was going to leave it alone and just wait for her mother to return, but Soundwave had cornered Megatron because she had been tentatively asking the Cassettes not-so-innocent questions.
Megatron has no idea how to handle this. None of the parenting datapads and books had a chapter dedicated to navigating what to say to your traumatized child when she finds her creators in throes of rough passion and hard kinky role play.
He defers to his usual tactic: straight to the throat.
"Treasure," Megatron says and frowns when his daughter refuses to look up, field tamped down. "Look at me."
Never will he say it, but his spark breaks a bit when he sees the tears gathered in those optics, mouth quivering as her plating is closed off.
"I'm sure you have questions about what you've seen between your carrier and myself."
There's a loud sniffle, and Megatron wipes away those tears, fetching a spare rag from his subspace, coaxing her to blow her nose. Thankfully, she does, and he sets the wet rag aside.
"Adults," he begins, trying to formulate an age-appropriate response, "enjoy playing adult games. And those games can be very rough."
"Mommy said to stop..." And his spark really does break at her tone, confused and afraid at the sight of her sire dominating her fragile carrier in an extremely unkind way.
"Your carrier and I were playing pretend. You like pretending with your dolls, yes? It's like that. Because it's pretend, we have a secret code that really means stop."
She looks less tearful and more curious at that point, her field cautiously mingling into his as she begins to relax.
Mission accomplished.
"Do you have any questions?"
"What's a fleshlight?"
At that very moment, Megatron desperately wishes for a surprise Autobot attack.
(Surprisingly, the universe answers it.)
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lighthouseas · 5 months ago
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happy byler bts pics <3 and also happy Bee Wrote A Fic For The First Time In 9 Months.
shake it out
A decade post-breakup, Mike shows up at Will's door in the middle of the night with a toddler in his arms and desperation in his eyes. And really, who is Will to refuse him?
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beachyserasims · 2 months ago
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Geneva Island Legacy┃Chapter six┃Growing Up Before
Spicy version + Transcript below 18+ ONLY PLEASE
Beginning / Previous / Next
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geddy-leesbian · 4 months ago
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after I finish writing about Luis getting railed I'll do Mr X dressup
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separatist-apologist · 10 months ago
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I have 15k words (4 chapters) of arranged marriage erina I can post for romance week, or I can finish first person food blogger elain. I'm a slut for your approval, so let me know which you prefer
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alectoperdita · 2 months ago
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Hey brain, you know what would be awesome? If you'd work on other ideas besides more Duelist's Pride filth.
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tennessoui · 9 months ago
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Asfsgdgf Sheari has to put up with so much SHIT from these clowns. I really have to wonder what she thinks about their case as we get further in. Because, like. Anakin's in two relationships. But he only married ONE of them.
"A marriage that demands your loyalty and prioritization" surely can't be too far off when Anakin has clearly prioritized Padme by marrying her... Does Sheari ever suggest that Obi-Wan would feel more secure in their relationship if Anakin married him too? Make it harder for Anakin to leave, give Obi-Wan equal standing, (shut both their brains down by just saying it) -- or would that be outside the boundaries of what's acceptable to address?
such a good question!!!
so the timing needs to be real perfect for this whole leg of the story - Sheari can bring up the marriage before obi-wan and anakin realize she thinks they’re together but she can’t really get into the meat of the marriage issue (aka by asking why anakin married someone else and not obi-wan when it seems to be the root of a lot of obi-wan’s anxieties about future anakin abandonment - anakabdoment if you will) because if she asked them point blank why anakin hasn’t married obi-wan or shown him he loves him in some legal and binding way equal to the marriage he gave Padmé, both anakin and obi-wan are going to be like well. cause we’re not in love,,,,or together,,,, to her face
And that’s not the way the story is going to go!! So before sheari can really ask about the marriage, anakin and obi-wan need to realize that she thinks they’re a couple and then they’re going to need to decide that they’re going to actively lie and pretend to be a couple so that they can keep seeing her because they’ve already been vulnerable with her and they don’t want to start over with someone else
and before that can happen, they need to actually be vulnerable with her over an issue that they would need her to know about but would be very reluctant to tell anyone or talk about
which is gonna be forthcoming in the next few chapters (as soon as they stop storming out of the sessions)
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del-stars · 1 month ago
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telling me "baby it's sweeter for me giving what you want from me // so take what you want from me" // so i'm not letting up // 'cause when i'm under you // no matter what i do // i still find my way to your tongue
sirius&remus | preacher's dog
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mekachu04 · 26 days ago
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29. Date
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Kidd - 18 | Killer - 21
Tags specifically for this chapter:
discussions of minors and sex
Kidd confronts Killer on him leaving
Killer struggles with Kidd's age
discussions of teenagers and age gaps
would they actually talk about this irl/cannon - i dunno...
probably not... but then again, they are soft about the other
be ready for an awkward fight that they've been needing to have a for a few years now
but also needed to wait to have until Kidd matured a little bit
Read at A03 linked above or here below cut
Drabbles from Pocket Jack's KiKi-tober Prompt list
They were supposed to be going out on the town, the island they'd docked at having a wide selection of restaurants and concert halls and other amusements. They'd been loitering in the area past their departure as the days slowly ticked away in the second week of the new year, specifically for tonight. Instead, Kidd and Killer found themselves drinking in the quiet galley, sharing gossip and reminiscing about an island that never quite felt like home there at the end.
About the wild exploits of The Kid Boss of the Heaps - a teenager that had managed to unify the unmanageable, and how even Killer's Boss had sat up and took notice before their group had imploded.
Kidd had had a few times where the same had almost happen to him too, before he really came to understand the power he'd found himself responsible for - "People only fear you for so long before they hate you enough to do something about it." Which was terribly profound when you realize a 16 year old had come to understand this before the adults around him did.
"At least you had some charisma that got you a few people that had your back. Nobody followed me because they thought I was going to be a good Boss. I was just the poor bastard left standing with the dust cleared. As soon as they realized they had other options, it was an exodus. Most of them defected to you or Wire pretty fast."
"I did notice an uptick of sycophants after that one meeting we had."
"I believe I warned you about that."
Kidd nodded. "Yeah... yeah, you warned me about a few things. You were right - about using my fruit around people. It being a bad idea."
"... I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well. Live and learn."
"I hope you smeared the assholes to paste."
Kidd chuckled darkly, "I did indeed. They were worthless; be glad they ditched out on you."
"It was only a matter of time before they left. They all do." Killer conceded, sipping his beer though a straw Dive had found... somewhere. "Just sorry you had to deal with them."
"You left me." He hadn't meant it accusatorially, not really. Just a statement of fact. But once it was out, Kidd felt a little angry about the whole thing. Killer just going on about being left behind, oh woe is me, but he did the same damn thing.
Killer frozen in place, before slowly putting his mug on the table. Kidd could feel him looking to the galley exit, calculating how to leave.
Fuck that.
"Was I that awful to be around?"
Killer rubbed his palms on his jeans, and Kidd swallowed thickly around the lump forming there.
"Oh."
"Look.. It..." Killer got up then, and Kidd watched him start to pace, feeling more and more uneasy with each anxious step Killer took. "It wasn't you, it was me... Well, it was you but it wasn't your fault."
"I have no idea what that means."
Killer's head is tilted up like the ceiling holds the answers.
"Killer, what the fuck does that mean?"
Killer shook his head, and Kidd stood up abruptly, ready to block him from fleeing.
"Killer! What did I do?"
"It wasn't your fault." Killer reiterated, and that didn't make anything clearer, and they both knew it. "You were just... You were kind of a lot... at.... that age..."
"I was 14! What are you on about?" As soon as the words left his mouth, Kidd had a sickening feeling starting to form in his gut. It must have shown in his face, because Killer glanced at him once before quickly looking away.
"You... got a little.. handsy. At night."
"Handsy?"
"A lot handsy. And.. clingy?" His voice pitched like a question, like he was trying to find a way to word Kidd's apparent behavior while downplaying it at the same time.
Kidd slumped against the table they'd just been enjoying drinks at. "How bad was I?"
"Four Blues, Kidd - you were awful." Killer groaned, "Every fucking night, three times a night, minimum, you'd be all over me."
"I... I.."
"Every time I thought it safe to drift off, you start making these little noises and I was so sleep deprived, Kidd. So sleep deprived. I'd leave in the morning purely to go sleep in Ceannard's office for a couple hours."
"I was 14!"
"When I was 14, I would get up and fucking take care of it - you just.." Killer voice had a panicky edge he'd never heard, before pointing wildly at him, "Every fucking morning, I wake up and had to deal with you getting off dry humping me. And you didn't even have the decency to be awake!"
"So you should of woken me and told me to knock it the fuck off!" Kidd paused, head cocking to the side as he studied how Killer had tensed up, bad shoulder touched in - "You didn't want me to wake up. You didn't... you didn't want me to know. Why?"
The mask hides a lot - Killer was always too expressive - his face an open book. But the mask didn't hide everything. Not from Kidd at least.
"You were into it."
Killer shook his head. Not a denial of Kidd's words, a denial that they were being spoken in the first place. He was coiled up so tight Kidd wasn't sure he was even breathing anymore.
"You liked me all rubbing up on you." Kidd almost wanted to preen at that, anyone else he would be puffed out proud. Instead a knot formed in his gut. You got off on it He keeps himself from saying, the thought tangling in his throat, forcing him to swallow thickly. Or you wanted to at least...
Killer made to widen the gap, but Kidd wouldn't let him, crowding him up against the wall.
"Then why would you leave?" he cried, not understanding at all, "I was horny, you were horny, what was the problem? We coulda fucked around a little, so what?"
"Because Killer might be good for a quick fuck, but nobody sticks around long after!"
Kidd started at him quietly, stunned, step back like Killer's words had been a physical blow. Killer hunched in himself, slouching back, surprised by his own confession.
"Killer..."
"I thought... I thought if I left first it would hurt so bad. You were getting along with the other Heaps' and you had a reputation for being an tough asshole so I thought... I thought you'd be okay."
Kidd pressed his fingers up on the bottom lip of Killer's mask, a request not a demand, his brows pinched unhappily.
Killer relented, and pulled the helmet off. But Kidd surprised him by taking it from him, holding it in his hands thoughtfully. He studied the interconnected plating, planning on how he'd make the next one different - better ventilation and more internal padding around the ears.
"I really liked Vicky." He started solemnly, "The three of us. Hanging out together. And sure, I wasn't thrilled about the two of you ditching me all the time. I thought maybe I was jealous of you for a long time, getting to hang out with her alone. And maybe I was... But I think I was also jealous of her. But then she was gone." Kidd spoke to the helmet, easier to say this to the empty drill marks than the man in front of him. "But that was okay because I still had you. And .. And I really liked being with you. I always felt safe, and waking up every morning with you right there... and then.. and then you weren't anymore. Even before you left, you started to be distant, and I hoped maybe you just got a new girlfriend and after the novelty wore off things would go back to how they were."
Killer was quiet, watching his hands fiddling with the metal, before he gently took the mask back.
"But it was me. You left because of me."
The worst part was Killer couldn't even disagree. He turned away from Kidd to put the helmet aside. "I left because I didn't know how to tell you no. I left because I rolled over and let anyone fuck me for a kind word, and I knew that I'd let you too, if you wanted. But you were 14 and you're my kid, and it got all weird and complicated and I didn't know how to see you as someone who wanted sex yet and .. And I was scared if I gave in, if let you take what you wanted, you'd toss me aside too once you were satisfied... so I ran away before you could."
"And if Vicky hadn't died... would you have ever talked to me again?"
He watched Killer's hand caress the line of white and blue. "No." He said finally. "No. You were doing so well; I was so fucking proud of you. You turned into this great man: You united the Heaps, made them believe they were people again. You had all them following you because they saw you were someone worth following. And I knew that I didn't have anything to do with that. That was all you. And I didn't deserve to talk to you anymore."
"Excuse me?" Kidd frowned, "What the fuck do you mean - you didn't have anything to do with that? You don't deserve to talk to me? What are you on about?"
When Killer didn't answer, Kidd grabbed his elbow and forced him to turn back, "Look me in the face and say that bullshit again!"
Killer stubbornly remain quiet.
"No!" Kidd growled, "I've gladly bashed the face in of anybody who talked shit about you. Don't think I'm gonna let you say it either."
Killer opened his mouth to start to say something but then stopped again.
"Killer!" frustrated, Kidd grabbed Killer's face in his hands, forcing him to look at him, "Say it to my face. If you're going to insult my friend, have the balls to say it to my face."
Killer met his eyes this time, blue to orange, complementary and contrasting in equal parts, and Kidd frowned at the pained pinch at the corners, the shame Killer wore in his features. He didn't understand, and no searching helped him find the reason. "Why would you ever say that you aren't the reason I got this far in life?"
Killer tried to escape his look by closing his eyes, but Kidd shook him softly; Killer's long lashes brushing his thumbs when he opened them again.
"Why did you leave me?" he tried again.
"You were 14...."
The light went on this time, Kidd breathing out a soft, "Oh" as Killer tried to look away again. Kidd rubbed his thumb against Killer's cheekbone, tipping his head back until their eyes met again. "I'm not anymore."
Killer was starting back at him, a fearful guarded look. But now, now Kidd thought he understood. He smiled back, tone soft, "Can I kiss you?"
The fear was still there, but Kidd would show him. He waited until Killer lowered his gaze, but nodded, a soft, "Okay" that was both defeated and begging.
Kidd smiled, hands sliding up Killer's cheeks to brush his bangs away and placed a soft kiss to Killer's forehead, smirking at the red painted lip marks left behind. Killer was looking up at him curiously though his lashes. Kidd rearranged Killer's bangs until the mark was hidden under wild hair.
"It's my birthday... come have dinner with me?"
"Okay."
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shyphonics · 6 months ago
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Salad Days, Chapter 6: Just You and Me, Punk Rock Girl
(Rodrick Heffley x reader)
chapter directory here
Light sex warning for the beginning- 18+ plz
This chapter took me a while - I wrote the beginning the same night I wrote the first and second chapters. Then I realized I think I'm more comfortable writing horrific and sad moments than sweet moments and I kinda froze trying to fill the plot in around it lol.
Thank you so much to everyone reading this!!! The fact that it's actually getting notes makes me really, really happy :)
Also this chapter's run of songs contains a secret song in the spotify playlist oooooh
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Oh my mama mama mo-my-mum
Have you kept an eye, an eye on your son?
I know you've got problems, you're not the only one
Since your sugar left, left you on the run
The gas cans felt good in his hands. Heavy. Smooth plastic snug in his fingers. His grip was tight. He reveled in the sound of the liquid sloshing around. The unmistakable smell.
Everybody fucking hated him. Every second of every day, he felt like his brain was on fire. A full body burn begging him to get out.
Get out now.
It's not like anyone was inside. The old library had been gutted weeks ago. They were supposed to demolish it next week. If he really thought about it… he was doing them a favor.
Yeah. So do it. Who gives a fuck.
He busted a window and stuck his leg inside, stepping into the decayed, old building. It smelled like dust. It smelled like school.
Stupid Frank and Susan.
Stupid Heather Hills.
Stupid Rodrick. Going nowhere, doing nothing, being nothing. Stupid.
The smell was strong, but he liked it.
He grinned, he nearly hyperventilated as he doused as much as he could.
Dizzy in his head, laughing maniacally
Breathing in fumes, killing brain cells.
What did it matter.
He shook the last drops out of the second can and tossed it across the room.
He struck a match. Let it burn out.
Struck another. Toss.
The fire erupted.
He stood there to watch it for a second, and ducked back out the window.
He knew he wouldn't have much time to admire his work, so he started running.
Deep into the woods.
He stopped and saw a ball of flames rise in the distance. The ground rumbled. His eyes went wide. He ran all the way home.
Nobody even knew he was gone. He'd left music playing in his room so it'd sound like he never left.
He watched the living room from the top of the stairs. A news report was on.
The library was directly on top of an open gas line. No fucking kidding.
Half the street went up in flames.
It's not like there was much on that street anyway, besides a strip mall with one or two active tenants. Closed for the night. No injuries reported.
His mom was crying. His dad was in shock. Greg and Manny were already asleep.
How could something like this happen? his mom whispered.
They're saying it was just some freak accident. They can't put it out. It's going to burn straight down to the foundation. Frank, incredulous.
Rodrick was silent.
~
Words to memorize
Words hypnotize
Words make my mouth exercise
Words all fail the magic prize
Nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs
“Hey,” a cool hand on his face, “where are you? Are you okay?”
He’s sent flying back to reality suddenly, looking up into your eyes. He looks frazzled. He’s not sure where that came from. All he knows is that he can never tell you.
“I'm fine,” he breathes, his hands moving to your hips, squeezing. Like he’s making sure you’re real.
How could he not be fine? The realization of what's going on hits him like a brick and he squeezes you harder.
He looks up at you like you're a goddess. Hips perfectly situated on his, eyes glinting in the low light of your bedroom. Every subtle movement you make sends a twitch through his body. Breath hitching through plush pink lips, mouth agape.
“I'm fucking amazing,” he sighs.
“Okay, good. Thought I lost you for a second.” you smile, placing a hand on his chest. His heart is racing.
You move your hips, just a little, testing the water.
He throws his head back and huffs, moving with you. He always figured that this- all of this- would be good, but he never dreamed it would be this good. It must be something special about you, he thinks.
You keep smiling down at him.
“If you wanna pick it up a little bit, go ahead,”
“P-pick it up?”
You raise yourself up off him a little, and then send yourself back down. He shudders, a grin spreading across his face. You keep it up, laughing softly, slowly bouncing up and down, skin slapping skin. Obscene, wet sounds. A groan comes from deep within his throat. He's thrusting up to meet you, knuckles white on your hips.
You haven’t had an impressive amount of sex in your life, but you’ve certainly had some experiences. Nothing has ever been like this. Rodrick is looking at you- not your body- he’s looking into your eyes. His eye contact has a sense of pleading, his lips are trembling. You lean down to kiss him. It’s tender. It’s intimate. You’d figured he’d be quick and chaotic. Experienced, maybe, but not learned.
Everything just feels so good.
His hands are gentle on your back, rubbing up around your shoulder blades. You feel his hips roll, and it sends waves of heat through your body. You keep a slow and passionate pace together, it feels like your bodies are perfectly in tune with each other.
“I can't believe that you… I…” Rodrick breathes, his brain turned to mush.
“I know,” a sharp breath leaves you as he hits a certain spot.
You speed up, both of you seeming to know what you need. Your bodies glisten with sweat, and you throw your head back, hands anchored to his shoulders. His hands move up to your chest, gently squeezing, then ghosting down your ribcage. His hands- so large, so strong. They’re slightly weathered, calloused from his drumsticks, and they’re so warm. His bony hips poke into your thighs with every thrust. You can just feel him. All of him.
Then you feel him twitch inside of you.
“I think I…” Rodrick gasps.
You look down at him, your eyes warm, reassuring him. You feel close too, still warmed up from earlier. He ruts up into you, flushed and panting. You feel yourself squeeze around him, your vision blurring slightly, as a rush of tingles runs through your whole body, and that seems to send him over the edge. He stops suddenly, breathing heavily, holding your hip down onto his, the other cupping your face. His eyes squeeze shut, then open wide, and roll back into his head.
You both sit and recover for a second, gasping for air, looking at each other. You roll off of him, and lay next to him, exhausted. He reaches out desperately to grab your thigh, as you turn to your side and throw your arm over his chest. You reach up and feel his cheek. His skin is hot, and slightly stubbled.
“I’m glad I didn’t wait.”
“You were gonna wait?” He pants.
“I don’t usually do that. That fast. But now I know.”
“Know what?” He turns his head to look at you, eyes tired.
“That I really, definitely like you.”
He laughs, pulling you closer to his chest and kissing the top of your head.
“I really, definitely like you too.”
You wriggle the comforter out from underneath you, and throw it over the both of you. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off, hands on each other, legs tangled.
For the first time in a long time, Rodrick dreams of absolutely nothing.
~
I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand
Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?
Lose sensations, spare the insults, save them for another day
I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away
~
Rodrick wakes up before you, lifting his head in confusion at his unfamiliar surroundings. Until he feels your arm draped over him, and remembers where he is. It’s still early, and you’re dead asleep. He smiles, pulling you closer to him. He gazes over your face, lit up in the early morning light. You stir, coming to rest your head on his bare chest, and he’s so happy he could cry.
“Go back to sleep,” you mumble.
He does.
You wake once the sun is all the way up, blinking at the beams coming in through your window. Rodrick has an iron hold on you, and little snores are coming from him.
You can see your alarm clock from where you are, and it’s a little after 9 AM.
You turn slightly onto your back, and feel Rodrick moving.
“You up?” You look over at him. His eyelids are heavy, and there’s a lazy smile on his face.
“I’m up,” he sighs.
“Glad you didn’t sneak out on me.” You chuckle.
“Why would I do that?” His voice is sleepy, and a little whiny.
“I don’t know. Boys are weird.”
He gives you one last squeeze before he lets you up.
“You wanna shower?” You ask, running a hand through your hair.
The water is warm, and you can finally see Rodrick’s lanky body in all its glory. Steam fills the bathroom, and his face is slightly flushed.
“So, last night,” Rodrick stretches under the stream of water. You find yourself admiring the lightly defined muscles in his back, and fighting the urge to smack his ass. Maybe later.
“What about it?” You smirk, squeezing some body wash onto a washcloth.
“It was… real? Like, it happened, right?” He turns around, eyebrow raised, grinning smugly.
“As far as I'm aware,” you laugh, beginning to scrub yourself.
Rodrick pauses, water running down his shoulders.
“Wow,” he smiles, then his face falters just a little, “and… you enjoyed it?”
You give him a look, wringing out your washcloth. Instead of answering him, you just step forward and kiss him, warm water flowing over you. Your hands travel over his body, slick with water and soap. You pull away.
“Duh.” You smile.
You dry off. Rodrick's wet hair is wild, and he still has a little bit of eyeliner on.
He grabs his clothes from the night before, and you stop him.
“Are you sure about that?”
He freezes, holding his boxers with the tips of his fingers, like a deer in the headlights.
“I can… turn ‘em inside out,”
“Ew. I have clothes you can wear,” you laugh, “boxers make good pajamas, and most bands don't really make women's shirts.”
“Really?”
You toss him a pair of plain, black boxers, then get an idea. You head to your closet, where you keep your band merch.
“Y'know what? I'm returning the favor. You look like a medium.” You root through the box, and toss him a shirt with your band’s logo on the front. He holds it up to himself and smiles. You find your Löded Diper shirt, discarded along with your purse by the front door, and put it on. As you come back, he's pulling the boxers on, and you take your chance.
Smack.
“Hey!” he yelps, turning to face you, blushing just a little.
He sees your shirt, and a giddy grin appears on his face.
You find yourself at the coffee shop across the street, sitting on the little patio. The streets are packed with groups of people, enjoying the spring day. Rodrick mangles a croissant as you sip from a large, white mug. You appreciate the fact that the two of you can sit in a comfortable silence like this. You flip through the local alt paper, The Eye.
“Ooh, there's a Pyramid show tonight, my friend’s band is playing. That'd be a good place to show you. They have an entire wall of pinball machines.”
“Are you friends with all the bands?” Rodrick asks, pouring 4 packets of sugar into his coffee at once.
“Not all of them. But a lot of them. I try to network.” You shrug, reading through the event calendar.
“All the major bars are kind of in one strip, with a few outliers. Then you have your DIYs and house venues.”
Rodrick sips his coffee, makes a face, and adds 2 more sugar packets.
“Do you think we have a chance at any of them?”
“You guys are gonna have good word of mouth after last night,” you nod, “I bet in a week you'll have an offer from Pyramid or Dime Store.”
“Wow,” Rodrick breathes, assuming that must be really good.
“It looked like your guys got along with everyone, too, and Mike likes you. You've got a great start. You might even get to open for a real band once they start coming in the summer.” You smile at him, looking up from the paper.
“We are a real band,” he looks confused.
“Yeah, but, y'know. A touring band. The Casualties are coming back this summer… Circle Jerks usually run through with Descendents once a year, D.R.I. has been on a ‘retirement tour’ for the past few years,” you say, adding air quotes, “your name's on the opener list now. And most of the time, picking someone from that list falls to me… but don't expect any obvious nepotism. I try to match people up by sound.”
Rodrick grins, stars in his eyes.
“Do any bands around here, um,” he pauses, unsure how to word it, “make it?”
“Sometimes,” you lean back, thinking, “it's hard nowadays. There was this super popular indie band last year. They got picked up to be on a movie soundtrack, and they're huge now. That's what sells, these days. I'll let you work out the irony of indie selling.” You smirk.
“So, what? Heavier bands are just shit out of luck?” He takes another sip of his sugary coffee.
“That's how it goes,” you shrug, “you give up most of the hope of being famous to be a real musician. There's a reason that even huge punk bands are still just playing at bars instead of stadiums. It was never marketable. Punk’s not even a genre anymore. To me, it's having the attitude of ‘I’m pissed off, and I'm making it your problem.”
Rodrick laughs, “Okay, I do like that.”
You finish the last of your coffee, and roll up your paper, tucking it in your bag.
“You ready?” You stand up, stretching.
“For what?” he looks at you, draining his mug.
“I'm gonna show you the strip, rookie.”
You smile, holding your hand out, and he takes it.
“The Strike’s back that way, you’ve already seen it. There’s a pretty big gap of old shops and abandoned buildings from here to there.”
You lead him down the street, pointing out bars. Most of them will be closed until the late afternoon.
“There’s Pyramid, there’s Dime store. That one’s cool, the upstairs is a drag bar called Fluorescence, and the downstairs is a dive called Dim Bulb.”
Rodrick laughs, taking in the sights of the street.
“First time I ever came down here, I was with a bunch of friends who were 21, and I was still 19. Dim Bulb is all ages if you put the X’s on your hands, but Fluorescence is strictly 21+. My friends went upstairs. Downstairs was dead that night. They told me to wait in the bar and not go off walking by myself, but…”
“You went off walking by yourself?” Rodrick smirks at you.
“How’d you know?” You chuckle, “Yeah, and I had just gotten these leather pants, and I felt so fucking cool. But I was so stupid. And this gross, old guy stopped me and asked if I was ‘working’, and I said ‘no, fuck off, get away from me’,” you say, your tone nonchalant.
Rodrick raises his eyebrows, his mouth falling open.
“So, he starts chasing me down the street, yelling, ‘I’ll kill you’, and I was yelling back all this bullshit, just totally bluffing,”
You stop in front of a bodega along the street.
“And the guy who owns this place came out and scared the guy off. He’s good people.”
You wave at the man inside, who perks up and waves back.
“That place has everything. 9-volt batteries, first aid stuff, you name it. If you find yourself in a jam, head over there.”
Rodrick looks through the windows as you walk by.
“This whole street is, like… a tiny little town all on its own. Also, I'm glad you didn't get murdered.”
“Yeah,” you sigh out, looking over the strip, feeling proud, “it really is. I love it here. I’m glad I could show you around. And thanks.” You laugh, squeezing his hand.
You keep walking, down towards the point where the bars end and the shops begin. Rodrick walks slowly, swinging his hand with yours. He keeps his head on a swivel, trying to take in all there is to see. Old neon signs, graffiti-covered brick walls, and show fliers absolutely everywhere.
“I think you’re gonna like this place,” you turn to look back at Rodrick, who looks absolutely awestruck.
The bell on the record store door rings, and you're greeted by the familiar woman behind the counter, Jennifer. She’s tall and muscular, with a smoker’s voice, and impeccably curled baby bangs.
Rodrick stops as the door closes behind him. It’s a cozy, dark little room. There are houseplants everywhere, among long boxes of records on high tables. The walls are exposed brick, and light is coming in through two long, skinny windows. An orange cat rests on one of the tables, in a sunbeam. The walls are completely covered in posters, framed records, and old fliers.
“It's you! I have pulls for you,” she looks over thick-rimmed glasses at you, reaching under the counter, then sees your shirt, “what in the hell is that?”
You look down at the bold, white letters on your shirt and laugh.
“Best new band in this town. You really haven't heard of them?” You say, teasingly.
“Diaper…?” she squints, looking at you, bewildered.
“I'm just messing with you, they played their first show last night. This is the drummer, Rodrick,” you gesture to Rodrick. He approaches the counter and sticks out his hand, smiling politely.
Jennifer looks back to your shirt, then at Rodrick.
“Kid, I'll level with you. There are worse names out there.” She barks out a laugh, looking down at her hands, both being used to hold a stack of records.
Rodrick notices, and retracts his hand, laughing nervously.
You kill about an hour in the shop, looking at all the things Jennifer has hidden for you over the week. It was once a very kind thing she did when you were flat broke and new in town, but she kept it up as a tradition, because she said you got it.
Rodrick exhausts each box, looking in amazement at all the different records. 'Dad Rock,' 'Punk Rock,' 'Rockabilly,' 'Psychobilly,' 'Synth Shit for Weirdos.'
The ‘misc.’ box contains a Jane Fonda home workout, a square dancing instructional record, and a full album of canine heartbeats, meant for veterinary students. Rodrick pulls it out and looks at it, reading the cover in confusion.
“See something cool?” You perk up and walk over to him, reading the record.
“Canine Heart Sounds? Is that a band?” You squint. He stays quiet, holding in a laugh.
“‘4-10 acquired murmurs', what the fuck?”
You see the text for ‘Berkeley Medical Veterinary Group’ and let out a cackle, lightly punching Rodrick on the shoulder. He breaks too, putting the record back in the box.
“You totally thought I was all cool and underground for a second.” Rodrick laughs.
You leave the record shop, and you decide to take him to see everything. You try on leather jackets way beyond your means at the biker shop, spiked collars at the goth shop, and hats at the western shop. You point and laugh at each other the whole way, except that some of that leather had looked pretty good on Rodrick… and he might’ve thought the same about you.
By late afternoon, you’re both a little worn out, and you wind up back near where you started, at a tall, yellow building. It’s an ancient pizza joint.
Inside is a massive, wooden staircase, and yellow walls covered in sharpie graffiti. Dumb little messages, from mystery people. From who knows how long ago. It feels like a million little voices yelling at him all at once.
Penelope was here!
Aaron is a cheating douchebag!
George Dubya, suck my dick!
And band names. So many band names.
“Whoa,” Rodrick looks up. It’s even on the ceiling.
You lead him to a large window, with a greyed, wooden frame.
You fish in your purse and find a sharpie, handing it to him.
“When we first started the band, we came here to make it official. I wrote our name, right here, under the window.” You look down, away from him, feeling a little sappy.
Rodrick looks at the smooth, black writing.
The Shrieks
10.15.03
He smiles.
“And, if you’ll notice, there’s an empty space right there next to it…” you say, trying to sound nonchalant.
Rodrick smiles, then crouches down, uncapping the sharpie.
He carefully draws his logo, adding the little horns and tail, with a small safety pin and the date underneath.
He stands up, handing the marker back to you. You look down at your two logos together, then up at your coordinated shirts.
“Yeah. They look great together,” you smile up at him, “now it’s official. Welcome to the scene.”
Rodrick feels a swell in his chest, looking down at your genuine smile. He’s been just a little guarded all day, but… now he gets it. You actually want him around. It’s not a joke. It’s not a trick. You’d wanted his band to be immortalized next to yours on this greasy, strangely beautiful wall.
He catches you off guard, pulling you into a tight hug. You blink once or twice, then wrap your arms around him, smiling against his chest.
“Hey!”
You pull away from each other, and turn to where the voice came from. It’s Ward, in an apron, by the counter.
“I got a job!” He’s grinning.
The two of you walk up to the counter and catch up, refusing to give him any details, no matter how much he wiggles his eyebrows.
~
So we jumped up on the table, and shouted “anarchy!”
And someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox
It was “California Dreamin’”
So we started screamin’
“On such a winter’s day!”
~
The two of you sit at your little table, the sun beginning to set outside. You’re laughing at some high school story he’d been telling you- something about how he’d been in love with some girl and ruined her sweet 16.
He pauses, taking a sip out of his glass bottle, beaming.
“God, and she was really into N’Sync, so we spent all this time learning ‘Tearin’ up my Heart’,”
You cackle, slamming your hands on the table, “Oh, god, no!”
“But last minute, I told Ben I wanted to sing, and he could play drums-”
“Can he play drums?”
“Nope!” Rodrick laughs, “And I sang in this high pitched voice- she wanted us in tuxes, but, um, I kinda wasn’t listening when my brother told me that? Also didn’t have the money. But I figured all black was good enough.”
“Did you learn any boy band moves?” You wipe away a stray tear that had escaped your eye.
“I wish. That would’ve been awesome, but, no. We did set off a bunch of pyro, and I jumped off the stage.”
“Pyro?!”
“Ben’s brother is in demolition,” Rodrick laughs, but feels a little pang of anxiety with the words that leave his lips.
You don’t notice his face change, still laughing. Rodrick grins at you, wanting to make the big reveal good.
“This family was loaded, okay? Country club rich. So, the pyro goes off, and it’s chaos. I was, like, dancing around her? And I backed up right into a giant ice sculpture of her head.”
You look at him, in shock, “I’m sorry, what?”
“Yeah, and then she tried to kill me with a mic stand, but ended up knocking over a chocolate fountain, and everyone got absolutely covered in chocolate… and then she hated me forever. Still hates me. That’s the girl from last night, by the way- my ‘girlfriend’?”
“No fucking way,” your eyes go wide. “That’s why you were staring each other down.”
Rodrick gives a satisfied nod, chuckling slightly.
“Well, I guess you learned your lesson: don’t trust the rich. First rule of punk.” You tease.
“Yeah, and if she’d actually liked it, I… I would probably be miserable,” He says, a look of realization on his face. You raise your eyebrows.
“I’d probably be at some fancy event right now wearing, like, a polo or something. Oh, god. I’d probably be working for her dad.” He looks down, eyes wide.
You boo him, giving him a thumbs down.
“I wouldn’t have met you,” He stares at you in surprise.
You smile, leaning towards him, your elbow on the table.
“I’m… so fucking glad all that bullshit back home happened,” He shakes his head, smiling, “Because now I’m here.”
“In a greasy, old pizzeria?” You smirk.
“In a greasy, old pizzeria, with you,”
You laugh, at a loss for words. Something about Rodrick seems to have bloomed today, and you like it. It’s like he finally evened out. You lean closer to him.
“I’m glad I’m here with you too,” You smile.
Your lips almost touch, but the buzzing of your cell phone interrupts you. You groan. It's Mike.
“Hey, what's up?”
“They got us! They fucking got us!”
Rodrick hears Mike screaming through the phone, and feels his heart drop.
“What? Who got us? What are you talking about?” Your heart skips a beat.
“They smashed the window! And wrote all over the walls! It's like Sharon Tate all over again!”
Your jaw drops. He's serious.
“Mike, who?”
You hear the sound of glass crunching down the line, along with Mike's enraged muttering.
“How many people did we kick out last night?” He spits.
You take a second to think.
“A lot. It got crazy.”
“Did we have to put anybody on the list?”
You make eye contact with Rodrick. His eyebrows knit together in worry.
“Yeah, there were a few.”
The List is only to be used in extreme circumstances. Any bar patrons found guilty of irredeemable asshole behavior have their IDs taken, photocopied, and returned as their asses are kicked out the front door. You're not sure how legal it is, but it's very effective.
The guy who had punched Rodrick last night, along with all of his friends, had absolutely made The List.
“I know who it was,” your voice shakes, “I’ll be right over.”
You hang up, pinching the bridge of your nose.
“Did he say someone smashed the window?” Rodrick breathes in disbelief.
“Yeah,” you put your head in your hands, “do you know the name of that guy who punched you?”
“Ugh. Bryan Kent.” Rodrick frowns.
“Do you think he'd do something like that?”
“Yeah.” He says, without hesitation.
“Fuck!” You sigh, “At least we have a name.”
Rodrick looks at you, guilty, like he might cry. You feel a pang of sadness.
“No, no, sorry. Shit. Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault, I’m just pissed off.” You ramble.
The bar is like your baby. Though you’ve only worked there a year, it means a lot to you. Mike had drunkenly promised to leave it to you several times, and you feel a strong protective urge over it.
“I gotta go,” you grimace, “Should I take you home?”
He nods, looking dejected.
There are two cop cars parked outside Rodrick’s apartment building, and you notice him gripping the door handle tightly.
“Wonder what that’s about?” You murmur.
“Could you take me around the back?” Rodrick’s voice shakes.
You look at him, raising an eyebrow, but circle around back anyway.
 He opens your car door and gets out.
“Hey,” you stop him, “that was really fun. I hate that it ended this way, but… we’ll see each other again, okay? I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I… I really like you.”
“Me either.” He nods. His voice is cold, and his eyes are void of all emotion.
You know something is wrong, but you have bigger problems on your hands right now.
“Okay,” you give him a weak smile.
He grimaces, and shuts the door. You watch him walk through a grimy back entrance, and pull off.
“Rodrick, dude,” Ben looks at him with bug eyes when he walks through the door, “the fucking cops were here!”
Rodrick freezes.
“Did they leave?”
“Yeah, but they were looking for you, man.” His voice is hushed and panicked.
Rodrick checks the window, and the cop cars are gone.
“What did they say?”
“Something about your name being associated with a crime scene?”
Rodrick turns to look at him, “What?”
~
So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fuckin’ thorn in my side
Oh my god, it’s a mirage
I’m tellin’ y’all, it’s sabotage
~
tag list: @crumpets-are-better-with-jam
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lighthouseas · 4 months ago
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shake it out - chapter 4
The morning after the Kissing Incident, Mike wakes up before Will does—which is a remarkably unusual occurrence.
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captainhysunstuff · 1 year ago
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A reactionary comic about rereading a fic that I recently recommended that was way darker than I remembered, lol. I still love it for how they pretty much drive each other crazy, but that word choice and the consent issues... *cringes* At least there are valid warnings beforehand, and the first fic was pretty PG. Sorry. *laughs sheepishly*
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muirneach · 1 year ago
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GIRLCOCK IN MY LEONARD COHEN NOVEL!!
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