#this but with angst 🤌🏻

[peachymaryobrien]

You're the love of my life

You're the loss of my life

[realbatberntruther]

Today I read a fanfic in which Bernard and Tim get married and Kon attends the wedding even if he still loves Tim but wants him to be happy and I just thought this song is very fitting in this situation

It's a Mexican song, the lyrics above say: "Today I saw the love of my life, so happy as ever, kissing the love of his life, yeah", "Looking at him the same way he used to see me, I understand I have lost this war". The translation may not be very accurate but I did my best, I am tempted to write a song fic about this

[porschekittisawasds]

james: my whole life, all anyone’s ever wanted was to possess me. the only one who ever set me free was you

will:

[kindahoping4forever]

Any recommendations on some good 5sos fics/one shots? I’ve been struggling to find new works that are good.

I don't have much to point you to in the land of x reader fic (the writers I'm familiar with seem to largely be on hiatus) but if you're interested in consistently active and consistently brilliant slash authors, in my mind you can never go wrong with the works of @burstingsunrise (galacticsugar on ao3) or @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue on ao3) 💙

[nymime]

In really board after finish a language test, and i just dissociate thinking and imagine Steve being part of Teyvat (Genshin Impact World) but to a hard battle against the Fatui (maybe Dottore) and a miscalculation move against them and Dottore’s experiment, Steve ends in other universe, other world, our world, falling into the pool of the Harrington in Hawkins, Indiana. Blah blah, The Harrington decided to “adopt him”, make him learn english (I explain later.) and other things of America.

Steve was maybe 11 or 12, and he was part of the shuumatsuban (ninja organization in the game, part of The Kamisato Clan, and work for this and the Yashiro Commission.), he was under other name, maybe something ironic like Shin, which meen “Honest, Genuine”. (And he lies about him, who is him). He only knows the language of Teyvat, which is really similar to latin, but the characters letters are reflected backwards. So he basically speaks a language that only The Vaticano use.

The shuumatsuban are kid orphan ninjas who fights for secrets mision gaves to them, normally, the missions makes them “take care of” (kill, defeat) Fatui and spies against the Shogunate. So, Steve knows to fight, but fight to Kill. (For billy occasions on Byers house, he hold his punch and strength, he didn’t want to kill again.)

Maybe in the future he will tell the kids about him. Or maybe someone tell them.

I just would like see Steve going feral fighting against russian/bad people/fatui to protect the party.

_______________

Any other thinks about the Shuumatsuban go here.

______________________

That’s it, im really obsessed about Steve and i just introduce him different universe i like.

[royalbluefairydust]

anthony "i'd die for you" lockwood vs lucy "i'll leave you so i don't put you in danger" carlyle

[ktlsyrtis]

I haven't gone searching, so I'm sure it's probably out there, but man I just want all the Picard/Crusher fic set during 'Chain of Command I & II'

[f1-stuff]

Why is that every time we get something good we have to get something bad following it as well ??

This is the way 🫤 keeps the universe balanced or some shit… But try not to feel too down! Something bad just means that something else good is around the corner, right? 😅

[nenehyuuchiha]

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Batfamily Members & Jason Todd Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Leslie Thompkins, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Duke Thomas Additional Tags: Amnesia, Serious Injuries, Concussions, Post-Concussion Syndrome, Broken Bones, Brain Damage, Brain Fog, Unreliable Narrator, Jason Todd-centric, Resurrected Jason Todd, Headaches & Migraines, Lazarus Pit Side Effects (DCU), Mental Health Issues, Angst, Terminal Illnesses, implied eventual main character death Summary:

Shocking! Magic Death Pit's Rejuvenating Effects Don't Last! Local zombie boy’s body and life fall apart, onlookers concerned, read more within.

---

The Lazarus pit wasn’t a lasting solution. It takes much longer for Jason to realize or even admit this than it should. If you ignore your health issues long enough, they should go away, right?

[rubistella]

Presses a small kiss against his shoulder. :B

@infernaliscor came to check on her vampire because the mun is too distracted with ffxiv || unprompted

There was a flame Karlach nurtured within her body unlike any other living being Astarion had rubbed shoulders with. He needn't look back to realise who had approached. Something about the thermal current of hot on cold, fire on ice, gave it all away. But not before the warm, earthy scent of her sweat reached his nostrils.

A soothing presence when his tongue was still numbed by the drow's vile blood.

"First the Orthon, now this." Embittered and hurt, it was as though the vampire's head was made of lead with how heavily it hung, keeping his gaze on the ground. Crimson eyes a mile away, maybe two, so disconnected that the heat of Karlach's lips on his skin was barely even registered. "I'm starting to feel like I'm nothing more than a means to an end to him."

[kawaikith]

☾ my views on crash course in romance.

Just started watching this drama, and hmm! Looks interesting, our male lead has quite an ego, and needs to humble himself a bit 🤌🏻 just a little. But, his house is one hell of a dream place for everyone, isn’t it?

I thought our female lead is a single mother, turns out she is a step mother, runs a banchan restaurant, and takes care of the girl - who’s name i forgot, because i’m still on episode one.

“say it three more times” is my favourite dialogue of chiyeol, he’s so 🤌🏻😂💀 respectively.

The way he gobbles her lunchbox, because it’s so good, he doesn’t have nausea or anything.

I really love how haee looks at haengseon and says “can I just call you mom? ” that scene will always be my favourite. What am honour. I thought immediately.

The mother daughter relationship is not perfect, but both are trying their best in their lives for each other. That’s what matters.

Chiyeol’s best moments : when he’s so straight forward, his assistant has to apologize and explain, confirm something and say it three times so chiyeol has his peace of mind, him wearing sunglasses & hat to get his lunchbox from haengseon’s shop, him teaching ... 🤌🏻 Top tier, him catching that stalker girl, and not letting her get away the first time she trespasses in his house.

No, please look at them, not both of them apologizing to each other, because they think the other will not be so forgiving, lol.

Not him being afraid of her, because she was a former athlete.

Not donghui saying that they should fight 2:1 😂💀

Not her treasuring her windows for life. I mean I would to, if I spent more money on little things.

Lol, he thought he could outrun her, just because he has a car, she won in the end. Bruh 😂

Not her having a crush on the guy who saved haee from falling off the stairs, helping her with her nosebleed, while also the being the guy who never attends school like everyone else does.

P. S : girl, I have a crush on seo geonho too, i’m with you, yeah yeah he’s irresistible, isn’t he?

Love how honest & upright he is about how he feels. His director threatening him, and this is his response, finished talking = leave faster than a snake. I love him as a person, he’s not a bad person. He’s still growing on me though.

+ more posts about this drama are linked in the masterlist page one. Thankyou. If you’ve come this far reading everything, congratulations, you have a patience of a saint. I’ll link the other posts down below too, in case some of you’ll are lazy just like me.

Posts : two // three // four // five // six // seven //

These posts will be updated as I watch this drama, thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[bighitfics]

jungkook fics i can read all night all day seven days a week.

(a recommendation you didn’t know you needed) ₊⊹ ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

Vows Of Betrayal ౨ৎ by @tljunglebook

— contract marriage au, enemies to lovers, romance, smut, angst.

(I will never not scream about this! this is my current favourite read! the enemies to lovers really hits in this one! AND THE SMUT SCENES ARE SO GOOD THEY MADE ME PREGNANT SO I RECOMMEND!) 😩💳

Inevitable ౨ৎ by @ahundredtimesover

— exes to lovers, second chance, parents au, angst.

(this happens to be the cutest story I’ve ever read, the longing and angst is so good!) 🥺🫶🏼

Dextrocardia ౨ৎ by @jeonstudios

— enemies to lovers, fake marriage, cop au, angst.

(this story should be arrested for being so damn good! i love how intense the enemies phase is before they start softening towards each other, the way the author managed to portray the patriarchal issues through this story is incredible, i never thought i’d say this but im an anti of jungkook in this story 😤😡 he better apologise with crocodile tears otherwise he can say goodbye to y/n.

You’re Still Mine ౨ৎ by @wattpadauthour

— workaholic husband jungkook, marriage in trouble trope, second chance.

(THIS STORY IS GONNA BE MY FOREVER FAVOURITE FOR A LONG LONG TIME! NO MATTER HOW MANY STORIES I READ I WILL ALWAYS GO BACK TO RE-READ! LIKE READ IT RIGHTAWAY IF YOU HAVENT! 😤)

Four-Seven-Eight ౨ৎ by @jiminrings

— marriage in crisis, angst, more angst, fluff.

(the heartache you’re gonna feel while reading this is no joke, i really felt sad for the y/n here (and cried a river) AND I LOVE IT WHEN BOOKS MAKE ME CRY LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING TOMMOROW 😻💋 you know its gonna be worth it)

Time After Time ౨ৎ by @hiseyestell

— doctor au, she fell first but he fell harder (but much later), fluff.

(by far the most realistic fanfic I’ve read, jungkook is so cold that you wanna smack him in his stupid head, the female oc is so smitten with him its adorable but sad at the same time) ☹️

His Clumsy Secretary ౨ৎ by @hwangguemfictions

— grumpy x sunshine, he fell first and harder, office romance, major angst.

(this fanfic is criminally good! especially the bgm, the dialogues, the way he’s just so endeared with her, this is a big smash!) 🤰🏻🫦

The Deepest Marks Of Essence ౨ৎ by @lleldey

— tribe leader jungkook, yandere au, smut, angst.

(my favourite writer for a reason! 🫴🏼 i can never stop obsessing over yer unique storylines and writing, she’s my new favourite tbh and this story will convince you as well) 🤭💕

Marrying The Vicount ౨ৎ by @taevjim

— rich man x poor girl, regency era au, smut, filthy fluff.

(my two worlds colliding fr! this author wrote it so beautifully 😍🤌🏻 jungkook as a vicount tho (im already crying between my legs) this is like a fever dream come true, this is so effing good that i think no words are fair enough, maybe you should take a look yourself! (i swear this is worth the read!!!!)

[taexual]

The second last aragraph of the line :/ I hope to see jungkook and his shit friends to crumble bad.

can't wait for their demise!!!!! 😤 even though it might be a while actually i'm sorry

[elshe]

I’m going to hop on the “what if Hiccstrid had Zephyr during rtte” bandwagon, and shamelessly contribute to what has caused my devastating brainrot these past few weeks, cause it’s just. so. good.

Can you imagine all the reactions and conflicts?!??

Not to mention the SCANDAL jk😩

my bebe boy Snotlout takes any opportunity to tease Hiccup about it, because, really, it is sooo funny.

might write a whole fic on it fr fr

That Hiccup angst is just— mmm… *chefs kiss* 🤌🏻

[emmylksblog]

ANNOYING HAPPINESS // H.FORT

summary: you have a fight with your bf hector and his motives turned out to be deeper than you thought. based on this request

genre: angst, comfort

warnings: none

a/n: the urge i have to comfort a man like that 😔🤌🏻 (you’ll understand me when you read it 😃)

Hector sat slumped on a bench in the locker room. The team had just won a hard game, and they’d been celebrating in high spirits. All of them except Hector. He’d been unusually quiet throughout the whole thing, barely even cracking a smile after the final whistle blew.

As his teammates made their way out of the room, chatting and laughing, he remained behind. It was only when you approached him that he finally spoke.

”Why do you have to always be so damn cheerful?”

Your heart sank at his sharp tone. You’d been celebrating with the rest of the team, excited about the team’s victory. But Hector’s words made it clear that he didn’t share your enthusiasm.

”What do you mean?” you asked carefully.

Hector gave a scoff, his irritation obvious. “You know what I mean. The whole jumping around and clapping and acting like every little thing is a big goddamn deal.”

He was staring straight ahead, refusing to look at you directly. His jaw was clenched, the muscles tight. Clearly, something was bothering him deeply.

You were taken aback by his tone. Sure, Hector had always been more reserved than the other players, and prone to moments of sullen silence, but he’d never lashed out like this. Even after a bad loss, he’d usually just remain quiet and unemotional.

”Why does it bother you so much?” you asked hesitantly.

Hector finally turned to look at you. His eyes were cold and hard, but there was also a vulnerability there that you seltenly saw.

”Because it’s all bullshit,” he snapped. “It’s not real. We win a game and you act like it’s the greatest thing in the world. But what about when we lose? Then it’s just on to the next one. It’s all just a big joke, and you’re the only one who doesn’t get it.”

You were caught off guard by his bitter words. You wanted to reassure him, to tell him that it wasn’t all a joke, but something in his tone stop you. He was dead serious.

”Hector, that’s not true...” you began, but he interrupted you with a derisive snort.

“Oh yeah?” Hector shot back. “Then why does the media love you so much, huh? Always talking about how great you are. How you’re the best fan this team could ask for. It’s just a goddamn performance for them, and you’re their favorite clown.”

His words stung. You’d never thought of your love for the team as just a performance before. But Hector’s dismissive tone was starting to get to you.

”So I should just be unhappy all the time, is that it?” you asked, your voice growing sharper. “Just mope silently when the team loses, like you do?”

Hector winced at your words, but then his scowl returned. “At least I’m not fake,” he snarled. “I don’t pretend everything’s sunshine and rainbows just because it makes me look good on camera.”

You felt a flash of anger that he would accuse you of being fake. “Just because I’m not a miserable grouch like you doesn’t make me a fake! I love this team, and I celebrate their successes.”

Hector let out a low growl, his patience wearing thin. “You think it’s easy being this way?” he asked, his voice harsh. “You think I like bottling everything up like some kind of robot? I wish I could be like you, going around all happy all the time. But I can’t. I’ve seen too much to act like nothing bad will ever happen.”

You were just starting to respond when Fermin suddenly appeared in the doorway. Hector seized the opportunity and brushed past the other man without a backward glance.

Fermin must have sensed the tension in the air, because he gave you a quizzical look. “What was that all about?” he asked.

You shook your head, still rattled by Hector’s words. “It’s nothing,” you mumbled, not meeting Fermin’s gaze.

You hurried after Hector, your heart still pounding with frustration and bewilderment. The parking lot was mostly empty now, his teammates already having left.

You found Hector at his car, his jaw still clenched in irritation. He didn’t look up as you approached, just stood there silently, waiting.

You stood next to him, not quite sure what to say. Hector’s outburst had left you feeling both stung and puzzled. He was normally so reserved; what had set him off like this?

After a few tense seconds, he finally spoke, his voice low and quiet. “You gonna stand there all night?”

You sighed, realizing that he wasn’t about to address the argument. “No,” you replied, your tone matching his. “Are you going to keep being a jerk?”

Hector let out a humorless laugh. “No promises.”

He opened the car door and got in, leaving you standing there on the empty asphalt. This conversation wasn’t over.

The drive back to your shared home was tense and filled with awkward silence. Hector didn’t speak a word, just kept his eyes fixed on the road. You could practically feel the anger and frustration rolling off him in waves.

As you both walked up the steps to the front door, you knew the argument was far from over.

Hector stalked into the house without a word, leaving you to follow him inside. The moment you were both in the door, you decided it was time to address the issue.

”We should talk,” you said, trying to keep your voice level. “About what happened tonight.”

Hector flung his keys on the counter and turned to face you. His expression was still stormy, but he didn’t say anything. He just waited, his arms folded across his broad chest.

You took a deep breath, summoning up your courage. “You really hurt me tonight, you know,” you began, your voice firm. “With those things you said . . . accusing me of faking my emotions just to look good for the media. Do you really think that’s true?”

Hector scowled and looked away. He was silent for a few moments, as if struggling to find the right words. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and rough.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered. “Not exactly. It’s just . . . it makes me mad watching you act like everything’s always so damn happy when it’s not. Like you’re not ever bothered when we lose or things go bad.”

He looked back at you, his eyes conflicted. “You don’t know what it’s like for me, to always have to be the serious one. To see how easily you smile and get along with everyone, while I just stand there and watch...” His words trailed off, leaving the rest unspoken.

Your heart softened slightly at his confession. Hector’s words made you realize that he was just as vulnerable as you, just in a different way.

After a moment’s hesitation, you took a step closer to him. “You don’t have to be that way,” you said gently. “You don’t have to always be the serious one, the one holding it all together. You can let your guard down around me, at least.”

Hector looked away again, the muscles in his jaw working. Clearly, trusting others didn’t come naturally to him. But your words had struck a chord – he didn’t pull away when you moved closer.

“It’s okay to be vulnerable,” you said quietly, taking another small step forward. You hesitatingly reached out, touching his arm – a silent offer of comfort. “You can be different with me. I’m not going to judge you.”

Hector met your gaze, a mixture of vulnerability and defensiveness in his eyes. He didn’t pull away from your touch, but he didn’t lean into it either. He just stood there, caught between the need to keep his walls up and the desire to let someone in. Your boyfriend felt like he had to bear the weight of the world alone.

“You don’t always have to play the tough guy,” you said, your voice gentle. “You don’t have to push me away.”

Hector flinched at your words, as if they had hit a nerve. But he still didn’t move away. He just stood there, his expression conflicted, his body rigid with tension.

You could sense that he was waging an internal battle against his own instincts. Hector had never been good at allowing others to get close. He was used to dealing with his emotions privately, alone and unassisted. Your relationship was testing those boundaries in ways he’d never had to face before.

Hector tensed as you reached up to touch his face, his body going instantly still. Your fingers traced the line of his chin, gently turning his head so that he was forced to meet your gaze.

He held it for a moment, his hard exterior crumbling slightly as he looked at you. He was searching your eyes, unsure whether to pull away or give in.

His shoulders sagged, the tension in his body finally releasing. Hector’s eyes were still on yours, but his tough facade was gone. Now he just looked... lost.

He didn’t resist as you gently pulled him forward, wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace. Hector let out a deep sigh, burying his face in your shoulder.

Hector clung to you tightly, his frame shaking as he let out a choked sob. He gasped out several choked apologies, his voice rough and broken.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean it... I just—“ He cut himself off with a strangled gasp.

Your heart ached at the sight of him struggling to hold himself together. You had never seen him this defensless, this desperate before. This was raw, unfiltered emotion, the kind of thing he would never let the world see.

You held him tighter, one hand gently rubbing his back. “Shh. It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it cariño.”

Hector’s tremors subsided somewhat as you pressed a gentle kiss to his head. He clutched you tighter, as if afraid you would disappear if he let go.

He was clearly struggling to deal with his emotions after holding them in for so long. It was like a dam had burst inside him, and now all the feelings he so strictly controlled were pouring out, overwhelming him.

You could feel the tension in his body fading away, replaced instead by a desperate need for comfort. He was holding onto you tightly, seeking reassurance and comfort.

You continued to hold him, running your fingers through his hair and whispering soothing words into his ear. “I’ve got you,” you murmured. “I’m here. It’s okay. Let it out.”

Hector was shaking his head, still apologizing for his outburst. “I don’t deserve you... you’re too good to me.”

You took his face in your hands, gently forcing him to look at you. “No,” you said firmly. “You don’t get to talk like that. You deserve to be loved and comforted just as much as anyone else.”

Hector let out another choked sob at your words, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Your own eyes were watering, seeing the man you loved so overwhelmed.

You gently kissed away his tears, wiping away his sorrow with your lips. “I love you,” you murmured, your voice thick with emotion. “You do deserve this. You do deserve me.”

Hector looked wrecked, his eyes red-rimmed and his face damp from crying. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. “Why do you put up with me?” he mumbled, his voice hoarse from sobbing. “I’m such a jerk sometimes.”

You smiled gently as you held him, continuing to soothe him with gentle touches. “Because I love you, you big idiot,” you replied, your voice soft. “The good parts and the bad parts. All of you.”

Hector held onto you tightly, his body still shaking but his sobs calming down. As you held each other, he finally let the words slip from his lips. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I do. I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I just . . . I don’t know how to handle all these damn feelings sometimes.”

You smiled at his confession, your heart swelling with love for this complicated man. “It’s okay,” you said softly, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to carry it all by yourself anymore, alright? I’m here. We’ll figure it out together.”

Hector looked at you with a mixture of vulnerability and neediness. His defenses were gone, his walls completely shattered. He was open and unguarded, and something about the sight tugged at your heartstrings.

You gently cupped his face in your hands and leaned in, your lips meeting his with a tender touch. The kiss was soft and unhurried, filled with all the unspoken love and reassurance you wanted to give him.

Hector responded immediately, his lips moving gently against yours. A soft sigh escaped him as he deepened the kiss, his hands finding their way to your hips, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t get enough of your touch.

You gently pulled away from the kiss, breaking the contact with a sigh. Hector looked dazed, his eyes still half-closed and his lips slightly parted. He followed your movement as you pulled back, as if unwilling to let you go.

You smiled at the sight of him, still unguardedly vulnerable as he stared up at you. “Let’s get you cleaned up baby,” you murmured, gently running a hand through his mussed hair. “You look like a mess.”

Hector managed to summon up a weak smile, his usual teasing attitude returning. “Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you make a man cry, babe.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, blame it on me,” you retorted, poking him playfully in the chest. “It’s definitely not because you’ve been bottling up your feelings for so long.”

Hector huffed in mock annoyance, but there was no real ire behind it – his defenses had been thoroughly broken down by your love and compassion.

As the two of you continued to tease each other, it was clear that some barriers had been lowered. Hector might never be a master at processing and expressing his own feelings, but at least he wasn’t shutting you out. For tonight, that was enough.

[ellecdc]

I don’t know their ship name! Do they have a ship name? Anywayyy, I was thinking long and hard about this, I want it to be 🤌🏻

So I was thinking, Remus x James x reader, possibly hyper Jamie and reader, and Remus is chasing after them

or maybe the most beautiful hurt/comfort (because who wants straight angst?) where James is upset because he feels like he’s too much sometimes (even though he’s my perfect baby Angel) and it’s just reader and Remus comforting him

(Fem!reader if that’s ok) (also reader should have a cat named Birdie, is it because I want Birdie content? Yes. Do I live laugh love Birdie? Also yes.)

kisses 😘

okay, I love you, thank you for this request. New rule: NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO HURT OUR SWEET SWEET JAMIES FEELINGS EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 also I couldn't figure out how to incorporate Birdie but I have another request about a reader with a cat so you'll be able to see her there ;)

poly!moonchaser x fem!reader who is in Slytherin

CW: James cries and it's horrible and Marlene should be sent to Azkaban for this.

James was feeling pretty good about Gryffindor’s odds this year for the House Cup. He’d been working his team a little harder than usual, but he was certain the extra effort would pay off this weekend in their game against Ravenclaw. He wasn’t on the quidditch pitch to make friends; he was there to win.

Off the pitch, however?

Off the pitch he loved his friends.

Which was why he’d told everyone to hit the showers whilst he cleaned up the pitch for Madame Hooch.

After James had stored the last of the brooms and quidditch balls in the equipment locker, he began to head past the Beasts classroom for the castle.

He saw Marlene leaning against one of the posts of the building, and James began making his way over to catch up with her but thought better of it once he saw Dorcas Meadows sitting on a table in front of her. He smiled to himself at the thought of his friend’s happiness and took the path on the opposite side of the building in order to give them some privacy.

“Potter’s not working you lot too hard, is he? You’re actually making Slytherin sweat this year.” Dorcas taunted, earning her a chuckle from her girlfriend.

“Ha ha.” Marlene deadpanned before she let out a sigh. “He’s working us like dogs. I know he loves quidditch, but Godric.”

James knew he was pretty competitive, but he had a job to do as the coach, and like Dorcas said – it was paying off.

“He can be a lot.” Dorcas assuaged.

Marlene scoffed dramatically. “Sirius is a lot; James is too much. Honestly, I don’t know how Remus and Y/N keep up with him; he’s exhausting.”

James’ ears filled with cotton as his steps faltered and his heart sunk.

Is this really how his friends thought of him; was he exhausting? Too much?

James knew he could be a lot sometimes; a lot of energy, a lot of fun, a lot of love, a lot of mischief, a lot of noise...

But was he too much?

He loved you and Remus more than anything; he never knew it was possible to love two people so much.

Remus: the moon to his sun, his safe space, his level head, the cool side of his pillow.

And you: his sweet girl, his biggest supporter, his confidante, the quiet in the chaos.

And what was he, then? What was James?

He was loud, he was chaos, he was constant.

Maybe he was too much...

He’d spent five years with his sights set in the wrong direction before he realized he had everything he could ever want in the two of you, and by some fucking miracle, he’d managed to snag the two most wonderful people in all of Hogwarts, perhaps all of the UK; nay, the world.

Was he losing the two of you? Was he slowly pushing you guys away? Exhausting you? Were you two going to grow tired of James?

He couldn’t lose you guys; he couldn’t let that happen.

He wouldn’t let that happen.

You and Remus had been sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall when Sirius came back from practice.

“Where’s Prongs?” Remus asked quickly, earning him a scowl from his long-haired friend.

“Gee, hello to you too, Moony.”

Remus’ sigh was accompanied by an eyeroll as he corrected himself. “Hello, Sirius. How was practice? Where’s our boyfriend?”

Sirius adorned a cheeky smile as he began loading up his plate. “Hi Remus, Y/N. Lovely evening we’re having. Practice went well; James is working us hard, but I think the extra work is paying off. We’re shoo-ins for the House Cup this year and-”

“Sirius!”

“Circe’s tits, Moons, is it almost your time of your month?”

He was answered with a dinner roll being thrown at his head.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He grumbled. “Prongs is tidying up the field, told us all to hit the showers and head to dinner.”

“Black, you’re a dog.” You grumbled, earning you a boisterous laugh from the dog-like-man himself.

“You have no idea dollface.”

You groaned. “I can’t believe you left our poor, sweet boy cleaning up after you tossers out there all by himself. It’s getting dark.” You whined, looking to the windows.

“He’s far too nice to you lot.” Remus agreed, starting a plate for James pre-emptively.

You liked that about Remus. You loved that about Remus; predicting his loved ones needs, always one step ahead the rest of you.

You perked up when you saw the familiar head of hair make his way into the Great Hall, but had an uneasy feeling settle in your stomach when you noticed his demeanour.

“Hey bubs.” Remus greeted, seemingly unawares of James’ dour mood. James smiled kindly at Remus, but you noticed the smile never reached his eyes.

You hated it.

“How was practice?” You asked quickly, earning you a scoff from Sirius.

“What? Don’t trust my word for it?”

“Sod off, Black.”

James itched the back of his neck and avoided eye contact. “It, erm, it went well, I think. It went well, right Pads?”

Sirius looked inquisitively at his friend but nodded nonetheless. “Yeah mate, I think we’re definitely going to see a difference with the extra drills. Fenwick and I were just talking about it.”

“Fenwick? What’d he say? He thought the practice went well?” James asked eagerly.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a bemused glance as you watched James; he seemed to notice the silent conversation going on between his friend and his boyfriend and curled in on himself.

“Sorry.” He muttered quietly, poking at his plate with his fork.

“No worries Prongs. Fenwick said he was tired, but the good kind. He’s looking forward to the match this weekend.” Sirius said carefully. James hummed but that was the extent of the conversation.

“Everything okay, James?” Remus asked cautiously as Marlene and Dorcas sat a few seats down. James lifted his head and nodded quickly, offering a quiet “yeah.”

“What’s the matter?” You asked quietly, causing James’ eyebrows to furrow.

“Nothing, nothing. I’m not that hungry actually, I think I’m going to head upstairs.”

He didn’t give you any time to argue as he stood from his full plate and left the Great Hall.

You went to stand to go after him, but Remus grabbed your sleeve.

“You should eat, dove. No sense in both of you going without.”

“But-”

“We’ll bring him his plate in a little; let him take a minute to himself.” He offered, and though Remus sounded awfully reasonable, you didn’t like the idea one bit.

In the perhaps 45 minutes you and Remus spent in the Great Hall, James had already done his bedtime routine and had the curtains to his fourposter bed drawn shut with what sounded like a silencing charm cast around it.

You let out a sigh and moved towards Remus’ bed.

“It’s probably just an off day, dovey. He rarely has them; we can grant him this one, can’t we?” Remus lamented.

It didn’t feel like an off day, though. Not to you.

He’d been just fine when you bid him farewell before practice; he’d been talking your ear off about all the new drills he prepared and the extra practices he booked. He’d been your enthusiastic, sunny boy just a mere few hours ago, and now he was...well...this.

Had you done something? Had you not been enthusiastic enough about his stories? Had you said something to offend him? Maybe he didn’t want you here; maybe he wanted to spend tonight with Remus – he’s known him longer, maybe he’d be talking to Remus if you weren’t here right now.

“I can hear your brain in overdrive, dove. What’s going on inside that head of yours?”

“Maybe I should go to my own dorm tonight?” You asked shyly, earning you an unimpressed look from Remus as he pulled his sleep shirt over his head.

“Fat chance I’m sending you down to the dungeons. I’ve already lost one cuddle partner.” His lip jut out comically at the end of the sentence and you felt some of the tension leave your body.

“Okay, big baby.” You acquiesced with faux resentment, laying back on Remus’ bed and welcoming him into your embrace.

“We’ll fix it tomorrow, yeah?” Remus said into your neck. “He’ll feel better in the morning.”

Except James did not feel better in the morning and now you were spiralling.

He’d woken up early to go for his run but didn’t ask if you wanted to join him (he usually woke you up as he extricated himself from the bed and would always ask if you felt like joining him. You’ve never said yes, but he always asked you anyway).

He changed quietly and sat at the desk to do some schoolwork. You woke up and pressed a kiss to his cheek on your way to the washroom, which earned you little more than half a smile and a quiet “morning”.

You couldn’t take it anymore; the nerves were eating you alive, and they were only made worse when Remus woke up and James was just as cold with him.

“Jamie, have I done something?” You blurted, causing both boys to look at you in horror.

“What?” He asked quietly.

“I’m sorry if I’ve done or said something to offend you. I know I can be harsh sometimes and I know that I’m not often as kind as the two of you; certainly not as nice as you, Jamie. But I often think you guys have worn off on me a bit and I’m a little less Slytherin-y and-”

But Remus cut you off as you started to ramble. “Whoa, dove. Take a breath, yeah? You’re alright.” He said gently, placing his hand on your shoulder and gently rubbing his thumb along your collar bone.

“I’m really sorry, Jamie.” You said again, feeling your eyes well with tears.

James' eyes mirrored yours as he looked at you in horror. “No, angel. No! You’re perfect, I swear!” He said, tears finally betraying his inner turmoil.

“What has you so upset then, Jamie?” Remus asked gently, which caused whatever dam James had set up behind his eyes to fully burst.

“It’s not you guys, honest!” He cried miserably.

You felt all the blood drain from your face at the sight; you’d never seen James this upset before.

“Oh, Jamie.” Remus cooed in an exhale moving towards him, obviously just as distressed at James’ upset as you were. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve been exhausting you lately. I don’t mean to be too much.” James whimpered between sobs. Your hands twitched as you stood uselessly, staring at Remus cradling James’ broad frame and gently rocking him back-and-forth, rubbing broad strokes up and down his back.

“Why...why would you say that, Jamie? I’ve never found you exhausting. ‘Too much’?” You asked incredulously, feeling sort of nauseous at the insinuation that you could ever grow tired of the effervescence that was James Potter. 

“I overheard people talking about me.” He admitted shyly from the crook of Remus’ neck. Remus’ movements stuttered before he quickly resumed his ministrations.

“Who?” You said simply, hands balling into fists at your sides. 

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Like hell it doesn’t.” You argued.

“Easy, dove.” Remus placated, pressing a gentle kiss into James’ hair. “I don’t need to know who it was, because they are so far off from the truth.”

“Can’t be too far off, I’ve known her my whole life.” James muttered.

“McKinnon?” You asked with a scoff. You were answered by James’ silence.

“Jamie.” You said sternly, stepping towards your boyfriends and causing James to look up at you. “You have been nothing but pure joy since the moment I met you, and any moment I get to spend by your side is an absolute honour; do you understand me?”

James sighed and tried to turn back into Remus’ shoulder, but you gently grabbed his chin and forced him to look at you.

“I love you so unbelievably much, I worry about my sanity sometimes. One of the best things about me is getting to love you, and having convinced you to love me back. Okay?”

“Okay.” He whispered back, offering you a soft smile.

“Yeah?”

James chuckled sadly and took your hand in his. “I love you, Y/N.”

“That makes me the luckiest girl in the world.” You promised him.

Remus continued rubbing James’ back and whispering sweet nothings into his ear as you got into uniform. 

“You okay, Rem? I’ll catch up with you guys later?” You asked him quietly. Remus nodded at you and accepted a chaste kiss to his lips.

You pressed a kiss to the top of James' head, reminding him again that you love him and you’d see him later before heading out in search of the person on your radar. 

Sirius had gotten up today to find James already gone on his morning run and you and Moony still asleep in bed, so he decided to take the initiative and organise the supplies for the Marauder’s next prank.

“Oi, Black.” Sirius heard, causing him to pause in his steps down the corridor. 

“Y/N, we’ve known each other since we were in nappies; I’m pretty sure we were engaged to be wed at one point. I think you can go ahead and call me Sirius.”

Your eyebrows furrowed almost comically as you looked him up and down once, seemingly almost disgusted at the thought of calling him by his given name.

“Right, I will not be doing that. Listen, you’re friends with McKinnon, yeah?” You redirected, falling into step with him as he carried on towards the potions supply closet. 

“Marlene? Yeah.”

“‘Kay, deal with her then, because it won’t be pretty if I have to.” You said darkly, causing Sirius to pause again and grab you by your elbow.

“Whoa there; what are you on about?”

You turned towards him with darkened eyes, quite possibly the most like your parents he’d ever seen you. “She upset James.” You said simply. 

Sirius scoffed. “Please. James doesn’t get upset. She probably just cheered for his rival team at the World Cup or something.”

“Black. My sweet, lovely, wonderful boyfriend is upstairs crying right now because he was told he was too much and exhausting.” You said severely, causing Sirius’ heart to stutter. 

His heart picked back up in double time when he noticed your eyes fill with tears.

“And if McKinnon is left to me, it won’t be pretty.” You concluded, sniffing quickly and stuffing your emotions back down deep into your stomach like Sirius knew you’d been raised to do.

“Crying?” Sirius asked breathlessly.

“Sobbing.” You corrected.

Well.

Well, this just wouldn’t do.

Turns out, Sirius was going to get detention for hitting a girl today. 

“Oi! McKinnon!” Sirius called out when he spotted Marlene sat under a tree on the Hogwarts grounds. “Take your earrings out, you and I are fighting.” He called as he got closer, pulling his earrings own out pre-emptively. 

Marlene scoffed. “Have you taken one too many bludgers to the head there, Black?” 

“What’d you say to James?” He carried on.

“Potter?”

“Sod off, McKinnon. What’d you say?”

“I haven’t spoken to him since we all left practice yesterday!” She argued.

“Well you said something, seeing as he’s now apologising to his boyfriend and girlfriend for being ‘exhausting’.”

Sirius watched understanding pass over Marlene’s face as she sighed.

“Oh for- …he wasn’t meant to hear.”

“Make it a habit of talking poorly about your friends behind their back?” Sirius accused.

“Take it easy, Sirius… she didn’t mean it.” Dorcas interjected, causing Sirius’ stormy glare to look her way.

“Then why’d she say it, huh Meadows? Are you calling her a liar then?”

“I was just tired and sore after practice yesterday, Sirius…” Marlene mumbled.

But Sirius didn’t care; he didn’t want excuses. He wanted everyone to see the James that he saw:

James, who had so much love to give.

James, who gave everything he did 110%.

James, who took care of everyone around him like his life depended on it.

James, who pushed his team to victory because he knew they were capable.

James, who knew he was pushing his team hard so let them all leave early whilst he cleaned up after them.

James, who brought out the best in everyone around him.

James, who offered him a home when he had nowhere to go.

James, who was everyone's safety, smile, sanctuary.

“Maybe if you didn’t spend so much of your life finding flaws in everyone else, Marlene, you’d have a little more time to work on your own. I suggest starting with your poor fucking attitude.” He shot at her, feeling the generations of vile, vicious Black’s creep into his psyche. “Perhaps then you’d manage to be even a quarter as loved as James is.”

“Was that really necessary, Black?” Meadows barked angrily. Sirius scoffed in return.

“No more necessary than what she said about James. No one upsets Prongs like that, you hear me? So tell your girl to watch her fuckin’ mouth.”

And he stormed back up to the castle. 

Remus was understandably distressed.

If having his usual bright, sunny boy so down and turned in on himself wasn’t bad enough, you seemed to be equally if not more distressed on his behalf.

He’d been sort of nervous when you took off this morning, but when Remus saw Marlene in one piece in Charms later in the day, he knew you hadn’t done any (permanent) damage.

James was glued to your and Remus’ sides for the remainder of the day, and you were both more than happy to fawn over him as much as he needed. His mood didn’t seem to improve for your efforts, however.

The three of you were eating dinner with Sirius who was carrying most of the conversation on your behalves, which you and Remus (and likely James) appreciated, when Barty approached the Gryffindor table.

“Hey Y/N, I just had the most brilliant i- whoa, wait, whoa, what the fuck?” He cut himself off, looking to the group in horror.

“What’s up, junior?” You asked calmly, feeling particularly defensive of your boyfriend and keeping an eye on James in your periphery.

“What happened to Potter? What’s going on?” He asked, sounding particularly disturbed causing Remus’ brows to furrow bemusedly. 

No one seemed to have a good answer; Sirius and Remus exchanging confused glances, James lowering his head in shame, and you rolling your eyes at your friend's dramatics.

“Who did this?” He asked then, voice taking on a shrill quality. “Y/N? Did you do this?” He demanded, gesturing to James.

“I did not do this!” You shouted back.

“Okay well this is bad!”

“I know it’s bad!”

“No, this is bad, bad. This is like… this is. I have no words. Y/N, fix it, fix it right now.” Barty insisted, roughly jostling your shoulder as if you were simply standing here negligently as your boyfriend suffered. 

Remus, James, and Sirius all watched in abject fascination and horror.

“Who did this, Potter?” Barty asked quietly, turning his attention to James when he felt he wasn’t getting answers from you. “Give me names; who disturbed the delicate balance of the universe?”

James’ eyebrows were in his hair as he looked between you and Barty.

“Oh gods,” Barty breathed. “It’s worse than I though.”

Barty shoved his hand into his robe pocket and pulled out a lolly. “You like candy, Potter? Here.” He said as he threw the lolly at him without waiting for a response. “I have more, one sec.” 

With that, Barty turned his pocket inside out and piled what had to be almost thirty lollipops in front of James.

“Why do you have so many lollies, Junior?” Sirius asked, reaching over to grab one from the pile which earned him a squeal and a harsh smack on the wrist from Barty.

“None of your sodding business, Black.”

Remus delighted in hearing a slight chuckle under James' breath.

“Why do you have so many lollies?” Remus asked instead, knowing Barty was slightly less volatile with him than with Sirius.

“I was trying to quit smoking. Now I’m just addicted to sugar and cigarettes. Also, Y/N likes them.” He said, producing one from your pocket with a flourish to hand it to you.

“M’lady.” He said with a bow before resuming his piling of more lollies in front of James.

“I think that’s enough lollies, Junior.” Sirius suggested, earning him a scowl.

“The world is fucking topsy-turvey right now, Black! I don’t see you doing anything to correct it! Absolute tosser, thinking I can just go about my day when everything is wrong.” Barty was mostly muttering to himself at this point as he pulled his bookbag over his shoulder and started discarding various things onto the table.

“Why are you all just sitting there? Do something, for the love of Salazar!” He shrieked. “Fix this Y/N! Fix it now; I’m running out of candy!”

And with this, James dissolved into a fit of laughter, causing Barty to pause and whip his head to face him.

Remus wasn’t always Barty’s biggest fan, but he knew that you cared for him and more importantly, he cared for you, and right now Remus could kiss the sod right on the mouth for managing to bring a smile to James' face.

“Is this a fucking joke to you, Potter?” Barty asked incredulously, causing James to laugh harder and even encouraging a laugh from you. Barty’s face softened immediately at the sound and turned to beam at you. 

“There!” He proclaimed then. “All better!”

And with that, Barty headed towards the entrance of the Great Hall.

“You’re welcome everyone! I just corrected a major blip in the universe; but this is the last time I do it for free!”

James began to catch his breath and wipe away tears from under his eyes. 

“See?” You said, reaching across to gently shake James’ wrist. James caught your hand before you could pull it away from him. “Even Barty likes you just the way you are. And he hates Gryffindors.”

James barked another laugh at that and let out a steadying breath. 

“Not as much as we do, though.” Remus pressed, resting his forehead against James’ temple as he pulled him closer into his side. 

“Thank you guys.” James admitted quietly, squeezing your hand that he still held captive over the table.

“There’s nothing to thank us for, bubs.” You insisted, causing Sirius to snort.

“Yeah. These two did fuck all; you should be thanking Junior.” 

You all started laughing again, distributing lollies to the younger students sitting around you.