porschekittisawasds

[porschekittisawasds]

There is a way of washing your body where you stand use just a damp wash cloth to clean yourself, and you don’t stand under water or in a bath. Do you call this a:

- top and tail

- pta/ pits tits ass

- dry bath

- other (put in tags pls)

- never heard of this

[porschekittisawasds]

also "ough life-saving essential medical equipment uses so much plastic" in this country you can purchase an artificial ballsack for your pickup truck

[porschekittisawasds]

I can't decide whether you should live or die...

[porschekittisawasds]

idk man like imagine how tired you'd be if YOU had to move to an entirely new place and start all over. not even because of the occupational hazards of your job which would have at least been expected if not reasonable (see: assassins) but instead because your trigger-happy younger brother decided to add live props to an impassioned karaoke performance on a whim and now you've found yourself a co-owner AND manager AND chef to an entire burger restaurant establishment. where the total number of employees other than yourself is a grand total of one (1) aka the same younger brother who has never touched a spatula in his life. and now you're just trying to make decent burgers while settling in to your new neighborhood and stay under the radar while your brother insists on exploring his sense of fashion by dressing in the brightest colors and prints known to man immediately following shifts at your real job (see: ASSASSINS) because it's not like it requires blending into society or anything. and then right when you think you're finally going to have a nice and peaceful friday night at home you get rear-ended by an unhinged and unnecessarily attractive mechanic who insists on fixing your jeep for free but is also SO maddeningly infuriating to interact with that you begin to question whether the free service is worth your sanity. because upon returning to pick up your car the Unhinged Mechanic begins an entirely unprompted striptease to reveal to you that he has - for reasons beyond your comprehension - decided to steal your burger pin. and then he starts going off about his sensitive nipples while he makes YOU take it off of him. and then as if all of THAT wasn't enough you also come home to find your younger brother delightedly getting groped in front of god and your respectable burger establishment in broad daylight while he nuzzles and adoringly stares into the eyes of the exact same cocky one-night-stand you EXPLICITLY warned him to stay away from. and then to top it all off the Unhinged Mechanic has now inexplicably shown up at your closed restaurant and has the audacity to demand service in return for having had to repair the jeep that HE damaged in the first place. because apparently the best place to have a beer is your CLOSED burger restaurant. and although you feel like your actions would be very justified in doing so, you somehow manage to refrain from killing him on sight because you are a Good and Reasonable Assassin. but this also means having to endure watching Unhinged Mechanic down no less than nine beers in one go all while he antagonizes you. and right when you finally decide to put your foot down and kick him out the Unhinged Mechanic decides that THAT is the perfect time to make a move on you. so now not only are you both exhausted and irritated and confused but ALSO sexually frustrated while having to forcibly remove him from your premises by his feet. imagine that. imagine you have to deal with ALL that in the span of 1 week without losing it and somehow YOU'RE the unreasonable and rigid one??????

[porschekittisawasds]

jack and joker x i know the end

credits:

pictures from pinterest

[porschekittisawasds]

jack and joker are really out there having the Absolute Worst Time of their lives while tattoo, hoy, aran and hope are up to looney tunes levels of Shenanigans

[porschekittisawasds]

“we might have to kill him” HELLO??? JACK???

[porschekittisawasds]

jack asking joke about his thoughts on marriage exactly five seconds after sleeping together for the first time is hilarious but what’s even funnier is 5 seconds after that joke brings up kids

they’re made for each other

[porschekittisawasds]

November 20, 2024 | Yin Anan

[porschekittisawasds]

Kant just roped his bestie into seducing his crush's brother without telling him they're most probably hitmen? Despite knowing that said bestie's method of flirting is to be the most annoying person in the room?? He's going to get that man killed

[porschekittisawasds]

ohhh having a job is actually ruining my life.  ok

[porschekittisawasds]

you ever start wondering about your cat’s genealogy? like ooooh I wonder if one of your ancestors was a mouser on a whaling vessel. maybe 175 years ago someone carried your ancestor up to that mountain you were born on, transported them by covered wagon in a wicker basket all the way to that old log cabin as a little girl’s birthday gift.

[porschekittisawasds]

Thank you. For the unsolicited advice.

[porschekittisawasds]

THE HEART KILLERS | 1.01

[porschekittisawasds]

I love ateez so much that I can find it in my soul to forgive them for rhyming tennis with tennis

[porschekittisawasds]

My personal conspiracy theory: RFK’s brain worm isn’t dead. It’s piloting him Ratatouille style. It’s been steering him to a government health office for years as part of a grand plan to deregulate food safety so more and more people get parasites and the brain worm reigns supreme over a population that is slowly being eaten away.

[porschekittisawasds]

Silverfish are so brave for going down the bathtub drain. I would be scared as fuck in there. I suppose when you have as many legs as they do things like that aren’t as frightening. #Perspective.