#literally the only reason I miss cable

[porschekittisawasds]

so if someone has a link for the new 911 ep please drop it so I don’t have to wait until tomorrow for Hulu 🫶🏻

[changbunnies]

Mint (18+)

♡ Pairing: Changbin x Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: fluff, smut, pwp

♡ Word Count: 2.7k

♡ Summary: It's the little things your boyfriend says and does that fills you with love for him; and you'll take any opportunity, no matter how small and mundane, to shower him with the love he deserves.

♡ Smut Warnings: light d/s dynamics (switch!bin and reader), vaguely plus size reader (because i am nothing if not self indulgent), light nipple play, oral (m rec), some begging from bin because i literally cannot stop myself from writing it lmfao

♡ Notes: this was supposed to just be a binnie drabble because it's been too long since i last wrote for him and i miss him, but i got a lil carried away as usual :') this is valentine's day fic in spirit only, there's really nothing thematically that makes it suit vday lol i truly just wanted to write something fluffy for bin even if it was small and plotless <3

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

It starts with a giggle; the bashful kind Changbin always fails to suppress when you start kissing him stupid. They’re simple, repeated little pecks, and you can feel him trying not to smile too hard, lest you end up kissing his teeth instead of his lips.

His lips are as sticky as they are plump and soft, the result of a combination of indulging in strawberries & cream hard candies, and his healing mint chapstick. The taste is pleasant, and your own lips tingle from the healing mint transferring to you, as well as growing sufficiently sticky from having a candy of your own before kissing him.

He doesn't know what brought the kiss attack on, but there's nothing he loves more than being doted on and feeling your affection, so he happily (and greedily) takes all the kisses you offer him.

Still, Changbin's curious– so when there's a small lapse in the kisses due to your need to take a breath, he asks; "Why are you attacking me, baby?"

The question is spoken with evident joy, the hints of his previous giggles still lingering in his voice. And there's no "reason" per se– all he'd done was sit there on the couch with you, in his cute cable-knit sweater with his tamed (but still ever so fluffy) hair and wire-frame glasses, eating candy.

It wasn't so much a particular action he took, or a special instance out of the norm that caused you to bombard him with love. There was no grand gesture of affection, no pre-planned romantic intent, no shameless display of affection. Changbin loves to do those things, certainly, but this wasn't that kind of moment.

You were simply in your shared apartment, cuddling under your couch's designated throw blanket as you watched a movie together post-dinner, snow falling peacefully on the cityscape outside your windows. When you were shopping for ingredients to make dinner tonight, he couldn't resist grabbing a bag of candy when he noticed it on sale– because who doesn't love a treat when it's discounted?

And it was all made better by knowing they were a favorite of yours too– so when he tore open the bag, full to the brim of small, individually wrapped candies, he took one for himself before eagerly tilting the bag in your direction to take one. Changbin watched you take it with a sweet smile, turning back to the tv before unwrapping another candy to pop into his mouth; and the simple domesticity of his affection was reason enough.

He turned to you when you called his name, a question lingering on his lips as he felt you inch closer; did you want another candy? Did he accidentally leave the bag too far out of your reach? But within seconds, you were surprising him with a kiss.

It took him off guard, you could easily tell by the squeak he let out, but the corners of his mouth curling into a smile before he returned the kiss told you he was more than happy with it.

"Because I love you," you answer his question earnestly; it was all you thought as you pulled yourself closer to him, the only words lingering in your mind as you hastily pressed your lips to his.

A tiny blush crawls over Changbin's features as he smiles, as full and radiant as it ever is when you dote on him. His eyes squint beneath his glasses, his adorably round nose scrunching, and you can't help but smile too; his joy is infectious, after all.

And perhaps in some ways it's silly, but it's always the small actions he takes that remind you of how in love you are with him. It's always moments like now, when you're relaxing together, at peace and comfortable in his presence in a way you are with no other, that your heart swells with love for your boyfriend the most.

Slow moments, where you can really appreciate the man beside you, when the full weight of your affection for him can settle over you like a warm, fuzzy blanket. Moments where any problem you have melts away, fading to the background because Changbin is with you, and that's all you need to be okay. 

And for Changbin, it doesn’t matter if it’s the 1st, 100th, or 1000th time you’re kissing him– it always sparks something in him. He isn’t greedy about many things, but when it comes to you– that’s a different story entirely; he’ll hold you tight and endlessly drink in all you're willing to give him. 

Your lips taste similar to his– a more muted, subtle version of strawberries, cream, and mint; he indulges in it, his hands finding their way to you and leaving the bag of candies forgotten to the side. He hums pleasantly when you crawl your way onto his lap, obediently parting his lips when he feels your tongue slide against them.

It doesn’t take long for him to start chubbing up beneath his cream-colored pants– and how could he not? You’re in his lap, kissing him deep and slow, with your fingers in his hair. They glide easily through his soft, straightened hair, and while you can’t help but miss his natural curls, you do appreciate your fingers not tangling in them and pulling. 

Changbin would like it, you know– he’s strong enough to manhandle you without breaking a sweat, can flip you and hold you into any position and make you take it with ease; but in the same breath, he’s pliable, ready and eager to be molded into whatever you need him to be. He loves his body, and his strength, and the squeals he can draw out of you by using it– but what he loves even more is being good to you. 

But this moment isn’t about that– you aren’t looking to take control, nor to make your lover meek and pliant; it’s about showing him the depth of your love for him in the only way you can when words fail you. What else can you do when saying “I love you” doesn’t feel like enough? When the heat that’s building in your chest will burst if you don’t kiss him and kiss him and kiss him?

He isn’t hard enough for his erection to quite be “obvious” in his loose pants yet, but you’ve been with Changbin long enough to see when he’s getting worked up. His breaths come out harsher, and the pink tint to his cheeks spreading to his ears paired with the quickened beating of his heart you can feel just beneath your fingertips tell you all you need to know.

He has a dazed, lovesick look in his eyes when you pull away from him, paired with a goofy, beaming smile. “I’m so lucky,” he breathes as he hugs you, the squeeze so tight it almost feels like it could crush you– but Changbin knows the limit. “I’m crazy about you– you know that right? I love you so much.��� 

You’re effectively trapped in his arms, but that’s no problem for you– you return his hug, giggling as he returns your affections. Your soft laugh delights him, and he shows it by peppering your cheeks in chaste kisses before moving on to your neck. 

“Bin, that tickles,” you whine between your laughter, his hands squeezing you as you squirm in his grasp. He laughs too, lifting his head to meet your eyes with the downturned smirk that tells you he’s amused.

He thinks to tease you; playfully peck you over and over whilst saying you attacked him first, so it’s only fair– but it melts away when you tenderly reach to his face, cupping it in your hands. Your thumbs resting on his full cheeks, you kiss him again, soft and sweet. It effectively turns him to putty, a content sound rising from his throat as his squeeze on you loosens. 

You take the opportunity to slip a hand into his sweater, caressing his plush stomach for just a moment before bringing it to his chest. You love the way he feels– bulking muscles under soft skin, pecs strong and well-defined but so easy to squeeze in your palms. He shivers under your diligent touch, your fingers always so soft and motions so purposeful.

He keens when you tweak his nipple just the way you know he likes, and he has to make a conscious effort to stop himself from unconsciously bucking his hips up. You can feel him, fully hard beneath you now and pressing into the fat of your ass.

On another day, you might tease him about it; coo over how sensitive he is, watch him squirm as his face burns deep red. But the way Changbin looks at you, so reverent and adoring with a haze of lust, never fails to fill your stomach with butterflies.

It's obvious with just a look that he's becoming needy; he’s expectant, wordlessly pleading, skin tingling with anticipation for what you’ll do next– and you’ve decided from the very start that you’ll give him anything he wants. 

“Ah–” his brain lags when you ask what he wants, if there's anything at all he'd like you to do, the air suddenly feeling heavy and thick around him. And it’s not because he’s shy, necessarily– it’s just that the loving gaze you hold for him while waiting for him to answer is making his mind feel fuzzy.

He swallows, and in the end his words are less than eloquent, but they're enough. “Your mouth– please?”

You smile at him sweetly, a shudder traveling the length of his spine when you dip your hand between your bodies to palm his cock over his pants. He sucks in a breath, shivering as you make quick work of freeing his erection from the fabric. The inside of his underwear is sticky-wet, the result of pre-cum steadily leaking from his sensitive tip.

His fists are clenched, breaths labored as he watches and waits for you to deliver on his request. You shift carefully off his lap, letting the blanket covering you both fall to the floor– along with the plastic bag of strawberries & cream candies that you entirely forgot were still there next to you. 

The clatter of them falling to the hardwood almost makes you jump, and you watch as some of the candies roll out of the bag, scattering in all directions. You stare for a moment, blink before you turn to Changbin and laugh. “I forgot,” is all you say, and he giggles with you, leaning over the couch to assess the damage. 

“We can clean it later,” he assures, grabbing your hand so you focus on him instead of on the mess. If there’s one saving grace, it’s that the candies are all individually wrapped– and you’re certain that getting your boyfriend's dick in your mouth is of much higher priority than picking up some spilled, but otherwise perfectly fine, candy. 

“Wait,” Changbin says after you sink to your knees, grabbing a cushion to place under them, “don’t want you to get hurt.” You smile and thank him warmly, getting yourself comfortable on the cushion– and he’s quick to reach to the floor where the blanket fell, wrapping it around your shoulders snuggly. 

“Changbin,” you giggle as he secures the blanket around you.

“What? I don’t want you to get cold either,” he says, and it’s so endearing you can think of nothing else to do but kiss him, just as before.

“What about you?” you ask, and he simply smiles while assuring you he’ll be perfectly fine. And you’re sure it’s true enough; Changbin tends to run hot, after all. Still, you get as much of his legs in the blanket as you can as you inch closer and settle in between his muscular thighs. 

You take his cock into your hand once more, the length short but impossibly thick in your comparably small fingers. The sight of it, leaking and throbbing as it silently pleads for stimulation, is always mouth-watering to you, and the change in your eyes is enough to make him squirm in his seat. 

You take your time planting slow, lingering kisses to his steadily leaking tip, coat your lips in his arousal and trail it down his length before slowly licking back up. You repeat– enough times to have him biting his lip and tensing his thighs, desperate pleas for something more just a breath away from being uttered. 

It’s a little cruel to tease him this way considering you said you’d give him anything he wants, but how could you resist? Still, a promise is a promise; so just before you think the thread keeping his restraint together is about to snap, and he’s ready to string together a babble of begs and pleads, you engulf his tip in your mouth. 

The relief is instant– a loud, shuddering whine leaving his lips as you lower your head, sliding the entirety of his length into your mouth. It’s always a stretch, even just for your mouth, but you’ve grown used to ignoring the ache in your jaw. He’s heavy on your tongue, but you’ve always liked that– and the moans you’re met with as you bob your head make any tenderness you’ll feel later entirely worth it. 

You can feel him tremble, the sound of your saliva pooling and dripping down his cock enough to make his head spin. Needing something to hold and ground himself, he desperately searches for one of your hands; you offer one to him quickly, let him squeeze as much as he needs once your fingers are intertwined. 

Your other hand caresses and squeezes over the meat of Changbin’s inner thigh, and his head falls back against the couch cushion, eyes closing as he releases another high pitched whine. Suddenly he feels much too hot, sweat threatening to drip from where it builds on his brow. You swirl your tongue around his cock to the best of your ability as you take it to the base, and it nearly makes him sob.

“S-So close, please–” he manages to choke out through a whimper, shivering when you hum and quicken your efforts. It’s utterly dizzying– how good your mouth feels, the salacious sounds that pour from it, the heady cry of his desperate, pleasured voice; overwhelming and baffling, almost, how a man as big and strong as him can be a weak puddle in your hands.

“Gonna cum– ‘m cumming, c-cumming for you,” he manages to stutter out just moments before his thighs and stomach clench and his eyes roll back. His back arches off the cushion as he writhes, his cum spilling down your throat, thick and pleasantly salty. The overstimulation as you continue to lick over his now softening length makes him gasp and squirm until you inevitably release his cock from your mouth with a pop, satisfied with your efforts cleaning him up.

Changbin is utterly breathless, but still quick to help you back to the couch when you move to rise; your knees ache from being stuck in the same position for so long, but it’s certainly not as bad as it would’ve been if he hadn’t offered you the cushion to rest them on. He smiles at you as you wipe the accumulated sweat from his brow, a sweet thing full of awe and adoration. 

“I love you,” he reminds you with a sappy, downturned smile and you giggle before offering him another kiss. “And,” he quickly adds, effortlessly scooping you up into his arms now that his strength has returned and his body no longer feels like jello, “we’re not done yet.” 

“Binnie!” you can’t help but squeal, clinging to him tightly as he rises from the couch with you in his arms, as if you're light as a feather. He kicks the bag of fallen candy as he walks, and you giggle as you hear more pieces rattle and roll around on the floor and out of his path; you almost want to playfully scold him for worsening the mess. 

“We can clean it later,” he repeats, as he enters your shared bedroom. He carefully lays you down on the bed, crawls over you and kisses you with all the passion and ardor he can muster. His hand traveling slowly, purposefully down your body, until it finds its home between your thighs.

There’s a whispered promise then; that you’re not leaving the bed until he makes you cum again and again.

[grison-in-space]

Man, there is a huge bias in the way that hobby fibercrafters approach and think about textiles—and I say that as a hobby fibercrafter myself! See, weaving has a high barrier to entry relative to knitting, crochet, spinning—even embroidery or sewing, these days, as the sewing machine automated much of the tedium of the craft. All of those crafts require a lot less in terms of startup costs to the hobby crafter than the machinery of a loom does.

But... look, if you want to understand mass produced textiles or textiles in any historical context, you have to understand weaving. If you want to understand how most of the cloth that people wear is made, you have to understand weaving, because weaving is the oldest art for mass producing cloth that can then be turned into garments.

Spinning is also very important, of course. Spinning is how you get the thread that you can turn into cloth any number of ways. Historically speaking, though, the most common way that thread or yarn becomes cloth is inarguably weaving. More to the point, weaving is also a historical center of industry and labor organizing. Ironically enough for the argument about how no one asked a woman, the industrialization of weaving is actually an interesting early case example of men organizing to push women out of a newly profitable position.

Besides that, knitting and crocheting in particular are incredibly modern crafts. Most modern knitting as we would understand the craft is shaped by the inventions of Elizabeth Zimmerman, and even things like the circular knitting needle date back only to the past century. Historically speaking, the great innovation of knitting as a tool for fiber craft is the ability to construct garments for small, odd shapes that can stretch and grip: stockings, gloves, underwear. Even that great innovation, the knit sweater, is an artifact of the 1850s—and the familiar cable knit sweaters of the Aran Isles are even newer than that. Crochet is even younger: the entire craft originated in the 1820s as far as anyone can document.

None of that is any shade on anyone. Like I said, I knit; that's the locus of my personal interest in textiles. I just think that textile history is neat, but if you're going to make big pronouncements about the historical development of textiles, it's important to think about what changed about the technology of textile production in the most common ways of turning raw fiber into cloth—and you cannot stop at the level of understanding how to make thread or yarn, because the properties of the cloth are always going to be an artifact of the construction of the cloth.

That's technology, baby! It's literally weavecraft. But it's not obvious that weaving is missing from the bounds of a person's experience with textile manipulation until and unless they're trying to understand and work with a wide range of fabric types—and when you can quite reasonably go from raw fiber to a finished garment using modern popular craft techniques that don't rely on anything that appears difficult for a medieval craftsman to make, it's easy to forget the role of weaving in the creation of cloth as a finished product.

I suppose the point I am making is: think deeply about what your own areas of expertise are not bringing to your understanding of history. It's easier to miss things you'd think.

[mrcrawly]

my actual genuine critiques of The Walking Dead

hey im about to watch TWD series finale and had some things i wanted to talk about here! also disclaimer, i think TWD is a fantastic show. there's not many shows i can say ive avidly watched for eleven straight seasons and not been bored by (i abandoned Supernatural after season 7). it's one of the most famous shows in cable history for a reason! but there are some things i thought were weird or just...? never brought up again? also, i have not watched ANY of the spinoffs yet, so if any of these are addressed in another series, lmk!

idk if ill get flamed for this but i did not like how Michonne was written. this is NOT me saying i didn't like Michonne, i adore her and she's a good character. but i don't feel that they developed who she was prior to the apocalypse enough. what details were given felt thrown-in and weren't very fleshed out. a lot of her significance is entirely tied to Rick and their relationship. i don't even remember if they gave her a last name. this is excusable for some characters who are mostly supporting cast members, but Michonne is a MAIN character. like guys. idk maybe some things just got lost in translation?

im not super critical of this one, but i wish they had fleshed out the significance of Daryl and Leah's relationship a little more. it felt like he moved on from that a little fast. like that is the ONLY real romantic relationship he's ever had and once he killed her it was just... done. idk it felt a little one-and-done to me

i just generally want to see more of RJ? why does no one ever talk about RJ? his momma disappeared and they just stopped caring about him like guys Where Is He

again, im not very critical of this one because Annie was introduced in the last half of the last season, so that's not a lot of time for... anything, but like, i didn't fully understand where she came from or when Negan met her. it's possible that i just got confused because of all the time skips that happened in s11 but . when did you meet her and how did you get married and pregnant this fast. but maybe a detail got lost in translation for me?

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY DID DARYL DANCE AROUND CONNIE like i just DO NOT understand what the purpose of EXPLICITLY stating that Daryl wanted her just for Nothing to happen. like im not sure what the point was. and why not? the ONE healthy relationship that he's been offered this whole time? like Hello?

i AM critical of this one: WHY did nobody mourn Tara?? or Enid? like the only person who mourned Enid was Alden and then he fucking Died? like i understand the big thing was Henry and yes that one hit me the hardest, but we moved on from Tara's death REALLY REALLY fast. like insanely fast. what are we talking about.

more minor thing but i wish Daryl and Carl had more screentime together when Carl was still alive ☹️

i never got the chance to care about Siddiq. like i was excited to get a new character and the fact that Carl had sacrificed SO much to help him (literally his own life) but genuinely he lasted what? a season and a half if that? yes he was the doctor and Rosita's baby daddy but. he was just the doctor and Rosita's baby daddy. and then he DIED and we moved on really fast! why??

ok that's all i got for you!! if any of this is just because I missed some major details somehow then tell me, maybe i need to rewatch?? idk

[rainbowlapisart]

Now that time has passed I wanna share my thoughts on Deadpool and Wolverine as a film, though I will preface by saying it isn't very positive... also, I admit I was high in the theaters watching this, so please treat this post like what it is: just an opinion.

The opening dance sequence was of course amazing, though there was some noticeable CGI. And I think the concept alone of Deadpool literally digging up Logan's grave is a hilarious way to start the movie.

Unfortunately Deadpool feels lamer and more like an asshole in this one. Especially after his character development in the last film I just can't see him desperately wanting to join the Avengers of all teams. Nando v Movies mentioned this but what the hell even is the Avengers now? And why is Happy in charge of who gets let in? And why wouldn't they let Wade in? Yeah he's gross and crass but he has special forces training and is nigh-unkillable. Y'all let Hawkeye in but not Deadpool?

The setup is interesting though I can't fully get behind the idea of anchor beings-- and the further idea that their death leads to "associated" universes collapsing as well as theirs? I don't know, it comes off as "yeah we have all these other characters you care about but Wolverine is the important one so they'd die without him", which is kind of an insult to those characters and that universe.

I admit, I was never big on Wolverine as a character, I always thought he was cool as hell but the only movie of his I've seen was Logan, which was awesome. So I admit that it may just be a case of the movie wasn't meant for me, but still I am a Deadpool fan so of course I'm gonna see this anyways. Super glad we got a good suit for him but I wish we didn't have to wait until the very end for him to put the cowl on.

The Johnny Storm/Captain America tease and bit was really funny I will say. Personally I was too stoned to get the joke at first, I honest to god thought he was just Chris Evans, but now that I've sobered up the misdirect is really funny.

Deadpool is directly responsible for getting Johnny Storm killed. I know Deadpool is a murderer and maybe I shouldn't give a shit about this, but it just feels like an unlikable thing for him to do. Like... that's a guy. That's a hero. It's not like he was being an ass to Wade or anything, he was an ally to the two and got killed for no good reason.

There was barely any screentime for the side characters that were some of the best parts of the first films. After Deadpool 2 I was really excited to see the X-Force working together in the next movie. The dynamic between Wade, Cable, and Domino are really fun and I think this Wolverine would've fit right in. It feels like a missed opportunity to not have the X-Force be the team to help fight Cassandra.

Speaking of, how about those cameos? I never watched Elektra or Blade so these kind of meant nothing for me. I watched this with my dad and he got pretty excited. Laura doesn't really do anything that memorable other than talk to Logan, and of course Channing Tatum's Gambit is the best character in all of cinema. Completely and utterly obsessed with him and I need a trilogy about him immediately.

I didn't love Wolverine's whole "letting his universe down" thing. It gets hyped up so much then when we learn what happened it was a bit underwhelming. I just can't see a universe where the X-Men are taken down by a mob of humans.

I laughed my ass off lots of times. "The Proposal. :)", "Suck it Fox, I'm going to Disneyland", "There's only ever gonna be one Blade", "He has risen, babygirl!", and pretty much everything out of Nicepool.

In general it kinda feels like it's regressing what was so good about Deadpool 1 and 2. It also feels like it's more for fans of the Fox Marvel movies than Deadpool fans. I hope that since this movie is "Deadpool and Wolverine" that means we can get a more proper Deadpool 3 in the future that brings back those who I missed dearly.

[zimms]

new york city

you called me last night on the telephone and i was glad to hear from you cause i was all alone you said, "it's snowing, it's snowing! god, i hate this weather" now i walk through blizzards just to get us back together

Derek twists the telephone cord around his finger, straining to hear Will's words down the phone. "Sorry, you're cutting out. The landline's a little dodgy."

He definitely doesn't fail to hear the crackle of Will's laughter down the phone. "A landline? What is this, Nurse? The eighties?"

"Shut up! My moms prefer it for some reason. And, I don't know, it has a bit of je ne sais quoi, a bit of nostalgia, a bit of style, y'know." To emphasise the point, even if only to himself, Derek winds the cable around his fingers a couple more times.

"I don't, but I'll take your word for it."

Derek huffs his own laugh before softening his voice. "Look, the point is that I missed what you said the first time. Please could you repeat it, babe?"

Will's voice comes through the phone. "I said that it's snowing here."

"Isn't it always snowing in Maine in December?" Derek says, "Like I thought that was a given?"

"Yeah, but it's the first time I've seen snow since I last saw you." Will's voice goes quietier. "I miss you."

"That was literally two weeks ago, Dex." Derek rolls his eyes, knowing full well that Will can't see him. "You can't possibly miss me that much; you literally went almost two years without talking to me between leaving Samwell and the spring." He sighs and grins to himself "But- I miss you too."

we met in the springtime at a rock and roll show it was on the bowery when it was time to go

One second Derek is bouncing along to the song that the band is playing, the next, his gaze is fixed on a very familiar head of red hair that's darting through the crowd at the gig.

Dex?

Derek is too packed in by the surrounding crowd to do anything but watch, tracking the figure of a man who, two years ago, he never thought he'd see again. Well, maybe not never, after all they'd been to two weddings together this summer alone. But the point is, it would never be just the two of them again.

He allows himself to be swept back up in the words of the song, singing along with the rest of the crowd, but he never truly stops staring at the back of Dex's head. It's fine; Derek will catch him at the bar after the show. He has to.

The gig is in a tiny bar that masquerades as a club/concert venue, packed to the brim with people here to see bands make their first stumbling steps into the music industry. Derek first listened to these guys in his Senior Year at Samwell and fell head over heels in love with their music. They were even the soundtrack to his alarms for the year, greeting him before every 5am practice (because Dex was a total hardass).

After the final song, the crowd starts to disperse and Derek seizes his moment to chase after Dex.

He can't let him slip away from him.

Not this time.

Derek pushes through the crowd, apologising every step of the way, until Dex is finally within reach. Naturally, as soon as Derek goes to close his hand around Will's shoulder, the man in question takes a step forward and Derek takes a big handful of just air. "Dex! Hey! Dex!"

Will spins around and suddenly they're chest to chest for the first time in- Derek doesn't even know how long.

He forgets how to breathe.

"Nursey?" Dex's eyebrows furrow in that familiar way: the way they would when he couldn't figure out the problem with a particularly tricky bit of code, or when he was trying to figure out the best way to shut down the opposing team's attack. Derek hasn't realised until now just how much he missed that expression.

"Dex!" he says, trying desperately to sound normal and not at all breathless and relaxed. "How are you? I didn't- I didn't know you were in New York?"

Dex rubs the back of his neck. "I'm, erm, I'm not really, but I guess, I am?"

"Dex, I say this lovingly, but genuinely what the fuck does that mean?" Derek takes the opportunity to step back, breaking the physical contact between them at last. He can finally breathe.

"I'm living over near Lincoln Park, but I'm working for a start up here."

Derek laughs. "Dude, you could have just said that!"

"I was suprised to see you, okay!" Dex mumbles. "Though I'm not sure why I'm that surprised considering that you were the one that got me into this band, but it's whatever."

Derek pauses and considers what to say for a second, looking Dex up and down to try and gauge how much interaction with him Dex would be willing to stand. He takes another second to throw all of that consideration out of the window and just say fuck it.

He grins up at Will. "Can I buy you a drink?"

we kissed on the subway in the middle of the night i held your hand, you held mine, it was the best night of my life

One drink turns into two and two turns into four and so on and so on until the two of them stumble out onto the Bowery and into the open air at 3am.

Derek doesn't know how to describe it, but everything always feels easier at 3am. As they walk along the street towards the subway station, he brushes his hand against Dex's once, twice, three times until finally Will takes his hand in his.

They tangle their fingers together, relaxing into the easy rhythm that they lost at some point during senior year, and falling into each other's orbits yet again.

Derek tugs Will towards the Houston Bowery Wall, gravitating towards the explosion of colour in the night light. "C'mere." He squeezes Will's hand. "This is the Bowery Wall Mural. It's one of my favourite pieces of art in New York, especially this one."

"This one?" Will's voice trembles a little as if they're in a holy place rather than stood on the intersection of two busy streets in New York.

"They change the wall every so often, a constant fresh start, constant new opportunities. Sometimes they decide that a mural has had its time, sometimes other people decide for them, covering up the work with graffiti, showing the world what matters to them. But the wall always comes back with a newer piece of art, a never-ending cycle of hope and new beginnings."

Derek looks down at his and Will's interlocked hands and gives them another squeeze. "Last year, they decided to stop commissioning new murals because they kept being destroyed, but out of the ashes came this mural."

The wall is painted in a bright array of portraits, depicting people of all shapes and sizes. It takes Derek's breath away as he looks at it, even though he walks past it every week; there's something different about bringing Will here.

Will's voice catches in his throat. "It's beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here."

Derek grins back at him. "Thank you for coming with me."

Will's expression shifts and his eyes begin to dart around. "I should be going."

"What? All the way back to Jersey at this time? You're not going to get back until like 8am. Seriously, come back to my place; you can take the guest room."

(Internally, Derek kicks himself.)

"No, no, I can head back; I wouldn't want to impose."

"No, seriously I insist," Derek says, slowly beginning to steer them towards the subway station. "We're like ten minutes from my place on the subway; way better than going back to Jersey."

Will huffs a sigh, knowing that he's lost this battle. "Okay, fine. But I'll pay you back somehow, y'know."

Derek smiles at him as they enter through the ticket barriers. "I know."

(Derek will unashamedly admit that they made out in the empty subway carriage. Like c'mon, how could he resist waiting until he got home?)

because everyone's your friend in new york city and everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty the streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see but the best thing about new york city is you and me

Derek wraps his arms around Will's waist and pulls him in closer, letting their bodies slot together in the warmth of the bed. "I'm so glad that I spotted you at that gig," he whispers into the crook of his neck. "I couldn't let you get away again."

Will leans back into the embrace. "I'm glad you found me too." He wriggles a bit, getting more comfortable. "It feels like I was stumbling blindly around the city before you found me. Like New York and you are so intertwined; you are New York, New York is you. It was weird to be in the city without you, to be honest.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Will turns around to look at him. “Seriously, Derek. I’ve loved the past four months of you dragging me around the city.”

Derek tickles his sides and Will squirms in his arms. “Drag?! I seem to recall you were the one that made a whole list of places that you wanted to see, including Co-Op City.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Will mutters, ducking his head. “Maybe we shouldn’t have trekked all the way out to the Bronx just for it, but I thought I should see it, okay? It was a big case study in my urban planning class.”

“I know, I know. I’m just teasing you.” Derek leans down to kiss his boyfriend. “I think it’s sweet, honestly. Especially considering you didn’t think to do any of this stuff in your first two months of living here.”

“I was getting used to a new city! I wasn’t trying to sight-see; I was trying to survive!”

Derek hums to convey his total belief in Will’s statement. “Uh, huh.”

“It’s true!”

Derek hums again and grins down at him. “Anyway, do you still have that list somewhere? I need to figure out what’s left on your New York bucket list.”

Will blindly flails his arm onto his bedside table. “Yeah, yeah. Lemme just find it.” He rummages around a bit more, before finally producing a crumpled-up piece of paper. “here you go.”

statue of liberty, staten island ferry, co-op city, katz's, and tiffany's, central park, brooklyn bridge, the empire state, where dylan lived, coney island, and times square, rockefeller center

“Okay, I think I have the perfect idea for what our final stereotypical New York sightseeing trip will be,” Derek says.

“Mhhm, am I allowed to know what it is?”

“You’ll find out in, like, three months, I promise.” Derek can’t resist and gives Will another peck on the cheek. “It’ll be worth it.”

wish i was there

Derek finally removes his hands from where they’ve been covering Will’s eyes for the past ten minutes. “Surprise?”

They’re stood just outside the Rockefeller Centre ice rink, which is filled with a hurricane of screaming children and couples desperately trying to keep their balance whilst holding hands.

Will chuckles. “I’d say yes, but somehow the fact that you blindfolded me when you caught me looking at a sign for the Rockefeller Centre says otherwise.” He pauses. “Also, the fact that I caught you stealing my skates from my apartment the last time we were there.”

“Okay, you got me,” Derek says, “but it was good choice, yeah?”

“Yes, definitely.” Will threads his hand in Derek’s. “It was a great choice. Plus it’s like full circle, y’know. We first met at an ice rink and it’s nice to bring the list to a close with an ice rink too. Especially considering how much our relationship has changed over the past seven years, though it was a bit touch and go for a while, eh.”

Derek can’t help himself; he laughs. “Eh? Have you been spending too much time with Jack, huh?”

“Shut up.” Will lets go of his boyfriend’s hand so that he can elbow him instead. “I’m trying to be romantic and poetic and shit; don’t make fun of me.”

“Okay, okay.” Derek says. “You said exactly what I was gonna say, is all.”

“Oh?” Will mock-gasps. “So, I was in fact being poetic and shit?”

Derek kisses him – mostly to wipe the smug grin off his face – and then pulls back. “Are you ready to go and show these kids and tourists how it’s done?”

“Aren’t we technically tourists for this exercise?”

“Shhhh.” Derek kisses Will again, just for the fun of it this time and as they break apart, he feels something wet on his cheek. “Wait, are you crying?”

“No, you idiot, it’s snowing.”

Oh.

So, it is.

Derek feels a little stupid right now, but he can’t tell if that’s because of the kiss or because he was so obviously wrong.

Will taps him on the shoulder. “Come back here, idiot. This feels like a pretty perfect ending to my first year in New York.”

Derek waggles his eyebrows at him. “Yeah?”

He’s met with an eyeroll, but Will also rewards him with a “yeah” and another world-stopping kiss.

Derek has to agree with Will: with the snow falling down on them and the hubbub of the city around them, it does feel like a pretty perfect ending to their first year in New York together.

you wrote me a letter just the other day you said, "springtime is coming soon so why don't you come to stay" i packed my stuff, it's on the bus, i can't believe it's true. i'm three days from new york city and i'm three days from you.

Will has to laugh when his mom hands him the mail stack, an envelope with his name on it sat on top. Did Derek seriously send him a letter for the two weeks that he was back in Maine? Well, yeah, clearly – that much is evidenced by the fucking letter in his hand.

In fairness, the gesture does have Derek written all over it.

He carefully rips open the letter, thankfully not wax-sealed like some of the love letters that Will had watched Nursey send in his earlier years at Samwell, and the contents spill out.

Will pick up the letter first and begins to read it.

Dear Will,

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been nine months since I found you again at that gig on the Bowery; it feels like we’ve been exploring New York together for years. But springtime is coming soon again and I’m hoping that I’ll never have to find you again, but instead that you’ll always be in easy reach by my side. You know how you said one night that to you New York is me? Well, in the past nine months, New York has instead become You and Me. I feel like you’re pulling back the curtain and I’m seeing the city I’ve lived in for my whole life in a completely different light. Everything is suddenly so much brighter and more beautiful with you around. I hope that this new light continues with the dawn of this new spring, a third new beginning for us perhaps, but just to make sure, would you do me the honour of moving in with me? I mean, if nothing else, it saves you (and, rather selfishly, me) the commute the Lincoln Park every other night.

I know it’s only been a week, but I miss you so much.

I love you.

Derek.

The other item sitting on the kitchen table in front of Will is a keyring with two keys and a picture of the one of the windows from the current Bowery Mural. The keys are engraved with the numbers #24 and #28 and Will can’t quite hold back the mistiness that begins to gather in his eyes.

Of course, after everything, Derek brings it back to hockey, back to Samwell, back to that period of time when they were inseparable, but constantly at odds with each other, so similar, but so different.

Will carefully threads his old keys onto the new keyring. A third and final new beginning sounds perfect to him.

because everyone's your friend in new york city and everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty the streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see but the best thing about new york city is you and me

[hannahwatcheshorror]

HAUNTED HOSPITAL: HEILSTÄTTEN (2018)

This is a really weird German found footage film that mixes the aesthetics of an abandoned sanatorium with prank youtube. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. The twist is interesting, the movie is interesting, it plays a lot like an episode of Ghost Adventures but with actual activity . The actors do a good job with the script, overall not a bad film, just a bit plain. The story itself is new but the spooks were not (though I did like when the unlocked chain turned into a continuous loop chain, that was fun, Grave Encounters-y).

⭐⭐⭐

(Trigger Warning Suicide)

This movie is based around a bunch of youtubers who are trying to get mad views so they do a spooky challenge by breaking the law and going to an old tuberculosis sanitarium (because nothing is more frightening than breaking the law). We have your classic annoying prankster brothers,  a beauty guru, and a young upstart who is looking for her place on the internet (wouldn’t know anything about that hahaha please follow my blog). Theo is our tour guide and he is very straight forward about not liking the pranksters content, it is ruining today's youth! Theo also wants to make sure everyone is very appreciative of the heavy history that comes with the Haunted Hospital for no reason in particular, don’t you mind one bit.

As the kids begin to set up for the evening creepy stuff starts to happen and the beauty guru gets a jump scare by another random guy who they tell to fuck off and he does but little do they know it’s to be the first death of the movie! Dun dun dun! Only after our beauty babe sees a full bodied (and full bloodied) apparition in the bathtub and literal writing on the wall do our first group of two (2) attempt to leave when they discover the real dead body of the guy and things become really real for all of them. Everyone starts trying to get out but of course they all split up to do it, and Theo is in the basement all alone so the daring duo go down to find him. He is in the basement alright, but so is something else, all three (3) kids in the basement get got. 

The final prank brother goes down and in a rather gruesome scene with an elevator cable we are down to just the young upstart, Marnie. She has actually been in Heilstätten before with her sister and Theo and when they were here Marnie saw an apparition which somehow led to an accident where her sister is now in a wheelchair. Marine claims she came back for Theo’s safety but he is certain she only came for youtube clout. This becomes clear when we find out that Theo isn’t dead after all, he was doing a “prank” this whole time. Turns out he has a weird goth girlfriend and they bugged the whole sanatorium just to haunt these kids and kidnap them. He starts to do surgery on them but the whole “Marnie being missing” thing was really bumming him out so he had to go chase her, but she gets away!

I guess we are to believe that Theo and his girlfriend killed the annoying pranksters and the beauty vlogger because no cops ever showed up? They kind of just left that part off like Marnie ran all the way home and never said a damn thing to anyone about anything, not even her sister (but she had to, right? She was covered in blood or blood like substance). I wish they would have just had a little more on the ending there to make the movie complete. Sure it was nice to see Theos end and that his girlfriend was kinda/maybe a spooky ghost the whole time though but still. Pretty crazy to think Theo would do that just for a video though. I suppose it just goes to show that some people will do anything for other people's attention (please comment, like, reblog, and follow for more reviews).

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Still Alive! And you would not believe what I just went through...

So just after the last post I made or reblogged, my computer stopped connecting to the internet. Wasn't the vpn. Restarted. wasn't that. Couldn't release or renew the fucking ip because it's disconnected. After allowing the troubleshooter to turn on services I had explicitly shut off, it "couldn't find a problem".

It took finding where windows 10 hides things to see the network was claiming the cable was disconnected.

The cable was not disconnected and the wifi was working fine on my phone so -I assumed- the modem was fine and there was no outage.

I use old cords, so -body still very broken- I dig out another cord from my boxes [blue and not yellow], it changed nothing.

I have had network cards/adapters fry before.

Do you know they used to be a separate card you could swap out? Like your graphics card? When they fried? So you didn't have to replace your whole fucking motherboard? I miss that. We should go back to that.

.

.

.

Sop there's things being reset in the command promt, there's previous drivers gone back to, there's shit reset, restarted 5 times and it took forever.

Nothing.

I gave up, I clearly needed a new motherboard.

I had already taken extra advil and tore apart half my room so I could get into my computer properly and cleaned my whole desk area in the process. Hours of pain and cleaning and frustration.

Meanwhile I am looking up on my phone what the fucking deal could be about me still having gout this bad since I am pretty sure my kidneys aren't suddenly just dead entirely, and the extra uric acid should have been gone by now. Like gout should not at this point be my main and only symptom of kidneys suddenly just up and progressing to stage 5 failure.

Turns out, with some very pointed and specifically worded questions, you can get the internet to spit out that -actually- low salt diets can make your uric acid levels high.

Turns out your body needs salt to process purines and uric acid out...

Turns out that telling me that salt is the devil and should be avoided at all costs was maybe keeping me from getting better and that what triggered this whole problem was -maybe- that lately I had suddenly been eating barely any salt because my blood pressure wasn't low.

Turns out being a man is a risk factor for gout, and the the sudden hormonal shift that ate my breast tumours and changed my nose shape might have also made me more prone to gout.

Leaving gout untreated is ALSO bad for your kidneys and leaving some big autoimmune inflammation attack unchecked is maybe also bad for your kidneys...

Because I was at this point suspecting that some kind of elaborate autoimmune flareup had been triggered by gout and now my body was just continuing to attack the existing damage in my joints. That would be in character for my stupid immune system.

And I might be able to recover now and my kidneys might not be as bad as I thought...

But I gave up on my computer's network adapter because clearly the internet was working and it was a hardware issue.

I was trying to download discord on my phone so I could let my friend know I wasn't dead but couldn't use the internet because I don't use most apps/sites on my phone...

And my phone now wasn't finding anything because when I had moved my computer back up onto my desk- literally a couple minutes before- it had unplugged the modem.

Easy fix, plug it back in.

Internet is working on my phone again, which was not the problem.

Look up.

Internet is working on my COMPUTER again.

Modem was -for some reason- randomly refusing to communicate with any of the Ethernet ports, through any cord, despite that it was still pumping out wifi just fine, and all indicator lights showed that the internet should be working fine.

Somehow.

For reasons.

And unplugging it completely for like 5 minutes fixed it.

So I don't have to start replacing half my computer parts just yet [graphics card is still old and 2-3rd hand]...

And I have internet.

And since I have eaten an amount of salt, my body has gone back to processing fluids at the expected rate. [maybe explains me dreaming about salty snacks]...

So with any luck, over the next week, I can actually bounce back to all around functional.

And my internet works.

And now my desk is clean I GUESS.

And my neighbours threw out this big expensive monitor after x-mas, so i grabbed it off the street figuring it probably still worked if they only threw it out after getting a new one. So with any luck I can have two displays now [it needs to dry out and I need to find cables]...

-_-

I'm still feeling kind of furious and exhausted because "tech won't work and I can't figure out why and it means I can't contact anyone" happening at the same time as "All of my shelves are falling over and all my stuff is falling behind my desk and it's too crowded to work with anything like this" happening at the same time as "All of my joints are terribly injured and I don't have the -anything- to lift, move or reach anything" Is a literal hell on earth constructed by real demons and autism moonlighting as one.

But also they threw out a very fancy and very heavy metal lamp, and even if that's busted to fuck I can fix lamps easy... [I did not need another lamp but it was put out on my doorstep and it's fancy]

[cripp-tid]

thoughts on captioning as a HoH person:

youtube - hit or miss. a lot of videos don't have their own captions or transcript. usually auto caption gets 90% of words right but thats still more wrong words than you might think, and some videos are not able to be captioned due to age. also some people think it's funny to do joke captions for some fucking dumbass reason

tiktok - look i have mixed feelings on tiktok but at least the up-and-coming generations encouraged people to make the platform relatively accessible. kinda ruined it when they introduced auto caption though because I've noticed a lot of people rely on the automation instead of their own script?? so stuff falls through the cracks and it feels like meaning and sometimes context gets lost

cable television - usually does pretty ok if it's a scheduled program, but live events specifically suck ass and will be a full 2-3 minutes behind in my experience

The Merchant of Venice (2004) on specifically the plain DVD version - ASS FUCKING ASS THEY ONLY HAD FRENCH IM STILL FUCKING MAD ABOUT IT I HAD TO TRY TO READ FRENCH THE ENTIRE MOVIE NIGHT AT AGE 16 AND I COULD ONLY PIECE IT TOGETHER VAGUELY. i literally never fucking finished that movie because i got so mad

pretty much every other movie on DVD - 9.9/10 times they would be spot fucking on i remember being so excited when on some movies there were TWO kinds of captions where one was more descriptive depending on your needs..... effervescent ....

netflix - these guys have been on my bad side ever since they literally did not have captions until someone sued them over it. like what the fuck why do u not care abt d/Deaf people

[postsforposting]

'nsync

Cable tries to fuck with Wade by linking his mind to the infonet in an attempt to get him to come back.

He thought it would work because he's done it before.

To Domino.

When the Six Pack attack Cable in the Rumekistan sewers, Domino recalls another "complicated" situation with Nate where she wasn't sure whose side she was on. Cable had known what was going to happen and planned to take advantage of it. He fed her his memory of that--of her believing him and working with him despite misgivings--linked her to his infonet, and broadcast it.

She'd walked away from him after he won over Rumekistan.

He did it to guilt her.

It worked. With the bonus of Irene's jealousy as she watched them make out.

Nate wanted Deadpool and went after him hoping for the same result he got from Domino.

Nate isn't interested in people who fall in line. In devotion. They're already his, there's no fight, no need, in certainty. He's interested in the uncertain, in winning people over, in the process and the fight rather than the aftermath. There's nothing for him to do after winning; if there's nothing to do, then he's not needed. Lack of need is a lack of control, lack of certainty that people will stay with him. He does not trust "want"; he only trusts "need". He has to make it happen, give no quarter, or he could lose. Losing is failure, worthless, useless, with no purpose. Even AU Brother Nathan was still seeking out more, treating normal everyday accidents like a villain to be fascistically purged.

He tried to do the same with Wade, but Wade doesn't jive with control or force. He'll never give in, for no reason other than refusing is a demonstration of choice, even if it's spiting his own face to do it. Wade knows how to leave Nate wanting more. Which is the only way to keep Nate's devotion, because the challenge is never over, satisfaction never reached. Lost cause patron saint, Jesus martyr-god-complex who?

No one needs a god if they're already saved, if hell isn't looming.

However. Nate is correct that Wade won't do anything for himself without having an external pretext to deny it's something he wants. Nate is the same way, except he invents his own pretext by forcing people to come begging to him while denying he made it happen.

If you're the solution and the problem, you never run out of need in a cycle of your own making. And you never rest because the fight's never over.

Wade will happily plan along with all of Nate's designs, even taking the fall for him. Nate set up the Rumekistan sewer; Deadpool followed the plan. He doesn't regret that, or any of the people he killed. He wishes he didn't have to be the fall guy, or lose everything to do it, but he doesn't regret it. That's what Nate wanted to hear him say; that was Nate's whole design in telling Wade the plot on the recap page before kicking it off. He wanted to see if he was one of Wade's ghosts; wanted to know if there was a limit between them.

The emphatic answer was NO.

Wade starts out C&DP with a brown love seat

Moves to a single purple chair after the "regret" fiasco

And, after Cable "goes first" to reach out for Wade, an admission he wants him, and thank him...

(He'll do the opposite? Lie. He'll lose...himself?? Yeah, his other half he literally shares a brain with, and has for this whole show. Nate never loses, never gives in, but he'll take a knee or two for Wade.)

.....Wade jumps on the first jet to Cable.

Wade ends up back on a new red+blue=purple love seat

With most of his stuff missing, and nearly all color drained from his world....except black, blue and white.

But plus a present, the last thing left of Cable, that surely only coincidentally looks like a metal dick full of everything Cable trusted Wade and ONLY Wade with. A totem whose back Wade wastes no time breaking in half....and putting back together. Over and over again.

Nate can never rest, but he has Requiem--literally "I rest"--as the ace up his sleeve that depended wholly on Wade.

Uncertainty is Nate's weakness; Wade takes him out at the knee.

Getting entangled with Wade wasn't a problem, it was the design, Cable's joie de vivre: gaiety, pleasure, the love of your life.

[musings-from-an-elder-goth]

A Day in the Life of a Goth in the 80's

Saturday, December 30th, 1989. Richmond, Virginia.

Why the penultimate day of the decade? No reason other than I well remember my general daily activities from this time period & most everyone I knew would be home for winter break so I don't have to worry about if I did anything significant with friends that day. Do I really remember everything I did on December 30th, 1989? No. I literally remember nothing from this specific day. But I remember enough of what my days were generally like so that whatever is surmised needn't necessarily be an untruth. But it was with certainty, a rather ordinary & rather dull day. Life was much, much slower paced then than now so someone used to today's world would find 1989 maddeningly plodding.

And I'm constantly asked if I'm nostalgic for those 'good old days.' I miss being young, frequently meeting beautiful goth ladies, & the many great shows I got to go to, but not for life in general as being painfully poor does not make for nostalgia. Anyway...

I would have awoken around noon. I wasn't seeing anyone at that time, so I definitely woke alone & at my dumpy little apartment (long since torn down) near the Virginia Commonwealth University campus. I would have been a bit hung over from a small party the previous night. Most students would be home for the holidays, so the party would have been small; less than 20 people at a nearby house shared by several students (also long since torn down). I was on a kick at that time where I watched Blade Runner all day, every day, so I would have fired that up. Or it could have been Hellraiser, or Aliens, or The Hunger - all equally plausible. I'd seen them all a hundred times by that point, so they were now just pleasant background noise. I didn't have cable at that place, so there wasn't much on regular TV & I probably only had 5 channels via the antenna.

My tiny studio apartment was mostly bare, just a futon, TV stand, bookcase with a few dozen books, desk & chair. I didn't have a computer or a game system at that time, but I did have a Game Boy, which was brand new in 1989. Folks who visited for the first time would inquire if I'd just been robbed, but since I knew I'd have to move every year to avoid rent gouging landlords, I'd gone full minimalist.

VCR tapes lay scattered about the floor. Clothes also lay scattered about the floor. Posters on the walls. A spare black blanket served as the window curtain.

Coffee, aspirin, & oatmeal for breakfast. Brush teeth, shower, & scrounge for reasonably clean clothes - a band t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, jeans, boots, & my well-worn, long coat. I only ever wore black, back then. Listen to the messages on the answering machine. Maybe reply to some.

Although, it was a cold 35 degrees F when I woke, the temperature quickly warmed into the upper 50's, staying there until well past midnight with delightfully overcast skies, all day long. Quite the pleasant day for Richmond in late December. (This part is true - I researched it online.)

With most of the people I knew away for winter break, I'd have to entertain myself for the bulk of the day as I probably didn't have any firm plans until early evening. So off I'd go. Blade Runner would keep playing until the tape ran out, then it would rewind and start again. It would do this until I shut off the VCR & I routinely forgot to shut it off when leaving. My well worn Walkman cassette player in my coat pocket with a few mix tapes in the other pocket (Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, Siouxsie & the Banshees, The Damned, Ministry, NIN, Skinny Puppy, etc.), & I'm out the door.

If you were standing on the street, you'd have seen an average height, thin, pale, 19 year old with long dark hair, dressed in black, walk across the sidewalk to a beat up old car. I routinely forgot to lock it. It was never stolen.

Saturday afternoons were for thrifting, so I'd visit a few, always starting with Fan Tastic Thrift in The Fan, which amazingly, is still there & looks exactly the same as I remember it. It was within walking distance, but since I'd be going to other places afterward, I'd drive the few blocks in my old war-wagon.

Life in general, & college especially, was much less expensive back then, but I was still just barely scraping by. The only shopping I could afford was thrift stores. Everything I owned, with the exception of underwear, socks, toothbrush, & my futon, was second hand. I would have spent at least an hour, perhaps two, in this store alone. I'd usually score some clothes, couple books, & perhaps a VCR tape - all for about $5. Thrift store clothes tended to be rather thread bare, & they didn't last long before becoming tatters, so I was constantly having to buy new old things. I'd usually run into someone I knew at Fan Tastic, but probably not this day.

I'd likely also visit The Book Exchange & Stories Comics over in Forest Hills (Stories has since relocated & The Book Exchange is no more). Stories is where I'd buy graphic novels such as Sandman & The Book Exchange was a book trading place where I could trade the thrift store books for more specialized books, mostly horror, that were readily available there. As reading was cheap entertainment, I read voraciously & it is possible that I may have stayed in & read all afternoon, but since it was a nice day out, I doubt it.

And at some point I'd probably catch a matinee at The Byrd Theater, a restored movie palace from the 20's (which also still looks just as I remember it). Although a palace, the Byrd charged peasant prices - you could watch a second run film for only $1 (it's $9 now). After the film, I'd putter about in some of the artsy shops near The Byrd, but I rarely bought anything from them - too pricey.

By now, the afternoon's gone, so I'd head home for an inexpensive dinner, most likely either spaghetti, some soup that I'd found on sale, baked potato, or some kind of rice dish. Or I might get Taco Bell - usually a couple of bean burritos which cost 60 cents each, back then. However, I once calculated that my average at-home meal only cost 50 cents, so even budget Taco Bell was double what I'd normally spend. Plus, I only ate two meals a day in those days. I was quite thin. Had you told me then the amount of money I spend now for a weeks worth of food, I might have fainted (I was so thin at that time, I did sometimes faint if I stood up too fast).

And finally, it was time for the day's main event: some band might be playing live music at a local club. Perhaps it was at The Metro on Laurel Street, or Twisters or Newgate Prison - both located on Grace Street.

I would usually learn of these shows via a poster on a telephone pole, found somewhere around my neighborhood. I usually tore down the poster to keep as a reminder (there would always be several more of the same poster underneath - they knew us well). These posters would go on my fridge at home so I wouldn't forget. I preferred The Metro as they were more likely to host bands I'd like. Over the years I saw bands such as Gwar, Corrosion of Conformity, The Smashing Pumpkins (back when they were just starting out), & Strange Boutique play there, as well as countless other bands lost to the mists of time. The Metro was located at 311 N. Laurel Street, but it closed down so long ago it's not even on the oldest Google street view image from 2007.

(The above pic is representative & not anyone I know although I would have been flirting big time with the gal on the right, for sure.)

I'd always walk to the clubs as parking was dicey & it wasn't very far. Plus if I managed to score some booze, I wouldn't have to worry about driving. Would usually arrive before the doors opened & wait in line, chatting it up with friends & acquaintances - probably flirting with any single ladies I'd just met who were friends of friends. I was always on the lookout for my next ex. I knew a ton of people then, & it was always interesting to hear about everyone's adventures since you'd seen them last. It was strange that I'd only ever see some people at a certain club & never anywhere else, while other folks I'd see everywhere.

(And if you're doing the math, yes, I knew Randy Blythe, the future lead singer of Lamb of God, who also went to VCU. I don't believe I'd met him yet in 1989 but for sure I did by late 1990. His nick-name at the time was 'Shark.' He was literally at every party & was hilarious. Shark was quite the social butterfly, so lots of folks knew him - it is not unusual for someone who went to VCU then to have known him, so I'm nothing special in that regard. I moved away before Lamb of God started & I was never a fan, so I didn't even learn he was a big deal until many years later.)

But it's entirely possible that no bands were playing at any of the nearby clubs. I wouldn't have gone to The Metro if they just had a DJ or were playing house music as goth night was on Thursdays at at that time & I didn't like the random music the DJ played on Saturday. But Thursday goth nights were always fun. Never a huge crowd, but a respectable number would put in an appearance.

There might have been another small party that night just as there had been the previous. A smaller gathering of just a few folks was also possible & someone might call (caller ID wasn't a thing yet, so I let my answering machine screen calls) & invite me over to hang out, or play Sega Genesis (Altered Beast & Ghouls 'n Ghosts slayed), or just play cards or chess.

Or I might spend the evening at home playing Tetris into the wee hours of the morning. Or read a book. Or read a local 'Zine, which were quite popular around that time. Or rent a movie from the budget video store near campus that had a decent horror selection. Or re-watch one of the scores of movies I owned. These mundane possibilities aren't very likely for a Saturday, but who's to say with so many people away for winter break?

Regardless of which of those things happened that day, I eventually went to sleep that night - December 30th, 1989 - alone in my own bed, sometime between midnight and 2 am.

And that is a very average day in the life of a goth in the 80's.

Individual results may vary.

creaturesfromelsewhere 7-18-2024

[pietrodart]

I dunno if I'm right or wrong bout this but I feel like Emily and Pietro had an opposites-attract thing going on. Emily is extremely sweet and cheerful while Pietro on the other hand is more critical, smug, and boastful.

Monet is definitely a person closer to his personality and it's really nice to see. However I think there's something so fucking adorable about a nice gentle person falling for a more blunt brash person and I've seen it happen so much in stories and even real life. For some reason (I don't know why) I love opposites attract. I don't know if you get what I'm trying to say.

I don't know if it was you or someone else but I got another ask recently with something similar, so, warning: I don't want to come off as rude, but after this specific ask I'll avoid answering things that I have already answered.

But yes, I do get it. Opposites attract is a nice trope, but I don't completely agree with Emily and Pietro being that; sure, they have different personality traits, but they aren't complete opposites, and though Emily is sweet and more cheerful and optimistic, those are traits that are only really noticed because everyone else around her...is not. She's actually quite similar to Pietro. They are both paranoid(Emily worrying about Cable while the team was celebrating Red Skull's defeat) and very protective of the people they love(Emily wanting to reach for Wade when he was in pain even if she shouldn't).

Emily was also quite violent. Cable did go back to the past just to stop her from killing her literal grandfather, who apparently raised her and who she lived with and was really close; she also learned how to control people's minds so she could make them shoot themselves, and she wanted to kill the people responsible for Johnny's death. So while Emily was more of a "do without warnings" kind of girl, Pietro is more of a "warn but don't do" guy, since he constantly said stuff about killing others or threatening people but we don't get to see him do that(or at least, not as brutally). They worked because they were similar, in a way. Sure, not fully, but most of that difference came from Emily not being as socially awkward as Pietro and having a more stable home growing up(apparently). I think your point of view is nice, but I also think Emily shouldn't be stripped of her flaws and anger; her character is driven by that.

About Monet: I like her and Pietro. Sure, they are similar, but they also have different approaches to things and different life experiences, and from what we saw until now Monet is very sweet and silly around Pietro and he definitely needed someone with attitude -- Emily was perfect and I definitely prefer them, but she was very delicate and Pietro is kind of slow about those things if we're being honest. Again, I get what you're saying and I hope I'm not coming out as condescending or mean, but I also don't like stripping Monet of her silliness and kindness.

Both of them work pretty well, I guess(though I miss Emily a lot). Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! And I'm sorry if this post is long, I just felt like it was nice to explain my point of view since I was keeping it very short in my last posts.

[anachrosims]

I had VIP tickets to a live podcast show last night, merch package, meet and greet with the cast, been looking forward to it for months--

1. Lyft was going to take close to an hour to GET to me because traffic in my city is fucking bullshit

2. The place is only 20 minutes away so I’m like, well, I can just drive there

3. Car didn’t start so I asked my dad if I could borrow one of his

4. By the time I got hold of a car, I probably could’ve made it, but my phone didn’t charge (I hadn’t realized the cable had come loose)

5. No directions, had to stop at a pharmacy to grab a car charger 

6. Only one cashier was there and she took her sweet ass time with THREE PEOPLE ahead of me, even though there were other staffers just, yanno, literally standing around

7. I get on the interstate and make a wrong turn because by this time I’m getting flustered

8. ETA to the theater is now 15 mins after the start of the show and the venue has a strict “ur late, get fucked” policy

9. I am crying at this point, because I spent $150 months ago on something I’d looked forward to so, so much, especially as a ‘last hurrah’ event before I move out of my hometown in October, it was really a special thing for a lot of reasons

10. I miss more turns on my way home and get LOST to the point that I end up NORTH instead of south, it’s dark, I’m visually impaired, no fucking clue where I am because I just, never go north of the city

11. There’s NO place to pull over safely for AGES and finally I manage to find somewhere to do so, get Siri to point the way home

12. I head home.

I already secured today off thinking I would’ve been out last night. Now I’m just sat here miserable because I can’t afford to go do something nice for myself and there’s no one to spend time with and holy fuck, yanno, I was really needing something to go right for once and I guess that just wasn’t in the fucking cards.

I’m so miserable right now and I know, I know, #firstworldproblems. To be honest I can’t wait to get out of this stupid fucking city and start over. Either the curse is on me or it’s on me living in this place.

Someone suggested I reach out to the creators to see if they’d be willing to send the merch to me but it’s not fair to ask that of them while they’re still on tour. And it’s not their fault I am literally jinxed. Might be a good idea for me to find a reputable practitioner in witchcraft because apparently the universe says I’m just not allowed to have nice things.

[innermuse24]

Deadpool Movie Fanstory:

'The Consquences of Messing with Cable's Time-Traveling Device and What it Brings with It'

-------------------------------------------

Notes:

Cable - Nathan Summers/Deadpool - Wade Wilson

Based on the end part of Deadpool where he pinches/steals Cable's time-traveling device.

-------------------------------------------------

PROLOGUE - When Deadpool Realises his Consquences Sort Of

Deadpool/Wade Wilson's P.O.V:

"WADEEEEEE!!!!?"

I'm in deep shit.

Literally deep shit at the moment having no time to react as Colussus - big, metal hunk of strength - grabs hold of me by the swords to pull me backwards to very pissed off Cable standing in the foyer of the X-Mansion hands on his hips glaring at me with both his normal eye and the golden one then flings me down at the older man's feet.

"Oh, hey…Cable. Miss me?" I ask him, rolling to lay on the floor in seductive pose with arm resting on my thigh for some reason making him glare at me - golden eye flashing heavily - and give a sheepish grin even though he can't see it because I'm wearing the red mask.

"Do you have any idea of what the fucking hell you have just done!!!!? You've just made sure you don't exist."

Oh, shit!!!!? I really should of listened to my inner reason voice. Oh, wait….I don't have one. Dumbass.

WAIT!!!? WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!?

-----------------------------------------

PART 1 - Cable Confused about his Feelings and Deadpool just Winging it as they Go Along the Way to Fix One's Timeline

Deadpool/Wade Wilson's P.O.V:

Megasonic-Teenager-Warhead or whatever her name was seems to want to kill me slowly and painfully and she may have to get into line because of Cable as I find myself staring at my de-aged self without looking like what be considered by a friend "When a pineapple had sex with Avocodo." and more like when I met Wolverine after he called "That you, Wade. I see Stryker managed to shut you up." making me remember that soon the all of me would disappear if we didn't hurry to sort it out.

This would be so embarrassing. It would mean I would have to make sure my parents met, fucked and soon had me appearing in their already hectic lives then meeting Vanessa, falling in love and killing what-his-face again then saving Russel from being killed by Cable from the future, which Cable - The one standing at the doorway right now. Yeah, I know Stalkerish don't you think or does he like my ass in red? - says I will have to face himself alone and that may just help my timeline realign itself.

"Are you just going to stare at yourself in that mirror like…the Diva you are or ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING HURRY YOUR ASS OVER!!!" Cable shouting the rest of the words, meaning he is still pissed as hell at me for messing with his Time-travelling device.

"Okay, calm yourself, Honey. I'm just coming, let me apply my makeup; lace thongs and corset then high-heels and we're ready to go." I reply, seeing cough heavily to hide…Was that a blush on Cable's face?..and placing the mask back down skip up to him for some no-apparent reason but because I feel like it.

"Shut up. Just let's go." He say, trying not to look me in the eye and leaning close to him go to peck him on the cheek when he places his hand on my face stopping me making me give a muffled protest at it.

----------------------------------------

Afterwards with Dopinder - my dear cinnamon murder muffin - driving us in what was now affectionally called the Deadpool-Mobile, I look back at Cable looking out of the back passenger window with his large, muscular arms crossed over his chest.

Deciding he needs some company, I unbuckle my seat-belt to clamber into the back wriggling slightly in my process to squeeze through the gap between

Settling down, I smooth any crinkles in my suit and moving myself lay my head down on his lap making him tense slightly then flick his gaze down to me, clenching his fist slightly only to sigh heavily and un-clench it.

“I don’t why I even bother.” He says, surprising me at his choice of words that sit up to twist myself around to face him seeing how he's blatantly refusing to look at me. "You....just decided to take it and think what 'It be good idea to change the past, let's go' and not realise....fuck it....why do I put up with you."

"Uhh, Cable.....maybe it's because you enjoy my company." I tell him jokely, only to see he's blushing that sitting myself up, lean closer to check I'm actually seeing his face turning a wonderful shade of red.

The punch in the face is expected that comes straight after I lean into his personal space feels like 'Worth it' hearing Dopinder signing softly in the driver's seat at the antics going on in the back of the taxi.

-------------------------

[ronsenburg]

“This is a shovel talk, isn’t it?” Sylvain asks, trying valiantly to keep his voice light as they duck through a disguised maintenance door in the main corridor. A panel just beyond warns ‘DANGER! Authorized Engineers Only Beyond This Point’. When he swallows, Sylvain’s throat is unusually dry.

Glenn is smiling as he glances back over his shoulder; Sylvain doesn’t need to be a telepath to understand that it isn’t actually a friendly smile, despite appearances. Glenn may be the more outwardly agreeable of the Fraldarius brothers, but Sylvain has no doubts that, if he wanted to, Glenn could kill him just as easily as Felix. Easier, probably. None of that pesky sentimentality to get in the way.

Oh well, it was a good run. Mostly.

“Not sure what you’re talking about, Gautier. There a reason for me to be giving you a shovel talk?”

There isn’t, which is the most hysterical part of all of this. At 17 years old, Sylvain has already had more than his fair share of angry older brothers threatening to push him out an airlock when he invariably broke their baby sisters’ hearts. He’d deserved those talks. Mostly because none of those little sisters had ever actually meant anything. Glenn, though… Sylvain would laugh, but he’s pretty sure he’d only end up choking on the irony.

Instead, Sylvain steps gingerly over a four inch wide cable that snakes its way across the path and says, “depends on how often you’ve been reading my mind, I guess.”

About as honest as it gets, for Sylvain. There doesn’t seem to be much of a reason to lie when the person you’re lying to can (literally, telepathically) see right through it. He could try—it might make him feel better about the mess he’s been making of what was formerly his personal life—but Sylvain has a new policy when it comes to his feelings for Felix. Namely? That they exist.

Sylvain isn’t blind; he’d always known Felix was pretty in an angry, pointy sort of way. But that was his best friend, you know? Seemed weird not to shut those kinds of thoughts down right away. Only, it'd become an increasingly more difficult task as the days went on. It wasn’t Felix’s fault, but he sure as hell wasn’t making things any easier on Sylvain, either. It’s little things like this: Felix starts tying his hair up one day, so Sylvain spends an unintentional half an hour staring at the tiny hairs that escape the bun and fall along the skin of his bare neck instead of taking a test. Felix misses a spot of gravy in the corner of his mouth during lunch, so Sylvain spends an embarrassingly long moment imagining himself climbing over the table and licking the spot clean before he gets ahold of himself and points it out instead. Felix goes for a run on the promenade early one morning, his face flushed with exertion and a sheen of sweat beading on his forehead, so Sylvain spends half the day wondering exactly what he’d have to do in exactly what way to get Felix looking like that for him. And that’s just the sexual stuff, things hormones can explain away. Sylvain tries even harder not to think too long on the way his pulse starts fluttering even more irregularly when he catches Felix laughing faintly at one of his stupid jokes, when Felix grabs for his wrist to pull him out of the path of an open maintenance hatch. It’s a problem that no amount of meaningless sex with strangers seems able to scare away so, for the past three weeks, Sylvain’s stopped trying. And see what it’s getting him now?

“Don’t be stupid,” Glenn says, and for a second, he sounds enough like Felix that Sylvain has to blink. They take a left at the next fork. “I can’t do any of that stuff.”

… which is exactly what a secret telepath would say in this situation, Sylvain imagines. But if that’s the story Glenn is sticking with, what’s he gonna do? Torture it out of him?

“So we’re just two guys, going on a walk through the off-limits maintenance corridor of a Federation starbase. You know, like guys do.”

The look that Glenn throws back over his shoulder, while still not quite warm, is at least not especially murderous. “Something like that.”

[asoulofatlantis]

For some reason I kinda, sorta somehow am looking forward to watching Elaine die XD I mean, she isn't really dead, so I really don't have to feel bad about it ;P

Anyway, seeing those Panzer-Soldat-Weapons makes me want to kill someone myself. I am pretty sure I know what Greamheart wants to do with it and I don't like the idea of being part of this at all.

These days I sometimes miss those times when we did not see the corpses in so much detail and bathed in their own blood ^^'

You have to hand it to her, she was literally ready and willing to die for Van.

This was the one of 3 deaths that were having some emotional impact on the player. But only the first time. The second time I am watching this and with no emotions at all. Falcom really fucked it up with this games deaths. Because whenever I watch Millium and Olivert die in CS3 I cry even tho I know they are alive and will be coming back in CS4. The deaths in this game are nothing but boring and even somewhat stupid at times.

A lesson we learn throughout the Trails-Series time and time again is that if you rush things in an emotional state, it will never be good. Obviously its easier said than done to stay calm and collected after watching a monster impale the woman you love, but he arshived nothing with this, aside from going to Aidios side with Elaine, which certainly is not what she wanted, or otherwise, she would not have sacrificed himself for him.

You know, I often think about the waisted potential this story could have had. If Elaine would have truly died, everything would feel so much more impactful and it would also have been really a new route to see the protagonist lose the person he loves most and struggle to move on. Also... Elaine dying as an A-Rank Bracer would also have had much more impact than some Random bracer we barely saw once or twice dying off-screen. But at the end of the day, Falcom still shys away from truly killing our main-characters...

I tell you this screen is your biggest nightmare in this game.

It is pretty annoying that we have to go to almost complete the same scene twice. They could and should have handled that differently. Jumped to a later moment and then get Vans reaction that something feels wrong. Like the moment when Agnes leaves.

(Urg. My Controller fell and wasn't working anymore. I don't seem to have a cable for my PS4 Controller and my PS5 Controller refused to connect. Getting my Switch-Controller to work is a hassle and to be honest, at this point I am too used to the X-Box controller so I rushed to the store so that I could get a new one before closing time, even tho I do not have the money this month. And just as I get back, after some fiddling, my old controller is working again. But I guess, money problems aside, at least now I do have a replacement at hand, if needed... in any case... lets continue. Although I've lost most of my motivation...)

Its called saving your ass!

Agnes might not be the one, but the way she observes and analyzes Van is pretty amazing. She can read him like an open book.

For someone who is supposed to give up her pursue at the end of this game, she is quite bold, taking his hand and all.

Something tells me I am slightly or significantly underleveled ^^'

I have to admit, back in the day, this moment caused me a slight second or two of panic.

Ah... my two beautiful children. It has not been this long, but I still have missed you ♥