#this breakup will forever haunt me

[butchviking]

girl hold on i’m going crazy i was gonna reply w the acoustic version but am i tripping… i Swore the acoustic kids was from their outdoor set but it’s an inside studio one????

i don't know this at all due to it being part of the time period i wasn't following my chemical romance and bestie. u are trying to kill me

[rafecameronssl4t]

Wildflower || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Based on what Wildflower is about, helping your friend get through a breakup only to fall in love with her ex and breaking girl code and feeling haunted by what you know about their past relationship

Warnings: ANGST!!!!

Word count: 1,548

A/n: this song acc has me bawling you guys i love it sm

MASTERLIST

divider by @h-aewo

Things fall apart and time breaks your heart. I wasn’t there, but I know.

Everyone thought Rafe and Sofia were destined for forever. They were total opposites in every way—personality, interests, dreams—but their love was so deep that breaking up seemed impossible. Yet, as the 2 years went by, something felt off with Sofia. Even from miles away, during your FaceTime calls, you could sense a change in her. She never said a word about it, but you could feel the shift. After all, you were her best friend.

She was your girl, you showed her the world.

Rafe was everything to Sofia. He was her entire world, and though it might sound cliché, it was true. He was her first love, her first everything. He made her happier than anyone ever had, and everyone could see it. It was almost surreal to think that someone who had given her the universe could ever be the source of such pain.

You fell out love and you both let go.

Rafe couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell out of love with Sofia. The transition was subtle, an ebbing tide he couldn’t fully grasp. He couldn’t even bring himself to utter the words that would shatter their shared dreams. Once, he had believed she was the one—his soulmate, his future wife, the mother of his children. Yet now, Sofia found it unbearable to hold onto a love that was no longer reciprocated. The weight of his unspoken truth was too heavy for her heart to bear, knowing that his feelings had shifted while hers remained steadfast.

She was crying on my shoulder, all I could do was hold her. Only made us closer until July.

The second your feet touched the sands of obx, Sofia’s tears soaked through your shoulder like a storm unleashed. You could feel the weight of her anguish, a heavy, unspoken truth that you sensed from the moment you saw her. As she unraveled her sorrows into your embrace, each sob a silent plea, your heart ached at the sight of your best friend’s shattered world. All you could do was offer your presence and comfort, feeling helpless yet determined to be there for her.

Now I know that you love me, you don’t need to remind me.

You stared at the locket, the image of you and Sofia as young girls reflecting back. Tears welled in your eyes as you took in the precious memory. “You really didn’t need to do this,” you sniffled, meeting her gaze with glassy eyes. She smiled softly, pulling you into a tight embrace. Her hand comfortingly stroked your back as you struggled to hold back your sobs.

“I love you,” she whispered, and the weight of her words made you sob even harder. The guilt of being with Rafe behind Sofia’s back pressed heavily on your heart. Each tear you shed was a mix of sorrow for her pain and the crushing guilt of hiding your true feelings.

I should put it all behind me, shouldn’t I?

“She’ll get over it,” Rafe says with a dismissive shrug, his gaze flicking briefly towards you in the passenger seat before returning to the road ahead. His hand rests firmly on your thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze that feels more mechanical than comforting.

“But she’s my best friend, Rafe,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you absently fiddle with the ring he gave you, feeling its cold metal against your skin.

“So? If she was your best friend, she’d want you to be happy,” Rafe responds, his tone dismissive and frustrated. His lack of empathy makes the tears well up in your eyes, despite your efforts to hold them back.

“It’s more complicated than that, Rafe,” you cry out in frustration, your voice cracking as you cover your face with your hands, unable to contain the sobs that begin to shake your body. The harshness of Rafe’s chuckle only amplifies your distress.

“How is it more complicated? Please, fucking enlighten me, because I’m sick of you cry about this,” he shouts, his eyes never leaving the road. His words feel like a dagger, deepening the anguish you’re already feeling.

“Because I fucking care about her—” you start to explain, but Rafe interrupts with a loud scoff. “You obviously don’t care as much as you say you do, or you wouldn’t have kissed me back!” he yells, his voice sharp and accusatory. The intensity of his words makes your breath hitch, and you feel the weight of his anger crushing down on you.

“Stop the car,” you say calmly, though your voice trembles with a mix of anger and desperation as you quickly unbuckle your seatbelt. Rafe’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What?”

“I said stop the fucking car, Rafe, or I swear to God I’m going to jump out,” you scream, the urgency in your voice leaving no room for argument. He slams on the brakes, pulling over abruptly on the side of the road.

“Are you fucking serious? We’re still in the cut, someone could—” Rafe begins, but you cut him off by flinging open the door and stepping out into the chilly night air. The door slams shut behind you with a resounding thud, echoing your frustration and pain. Tears flow freely down your face as you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. Glancing at the screen, your heart drops—Sofia is calling. You swallow hard, turning the phone to silent before shoving it back into your pocket.

“Come on, baby. I didn’t mean it!” Rafe’s voice calls out from his truck, his tone desperate as he drives slowly alongside you. “Just go home, Rafe. I’ll be fine,” you reply, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to ward off the cold and the emotional turmoil. Despite his lingering presence, Rafe eventually speeds off, his truck’s taillights fading into the darkness as you are left standing alone on the side of the road.

But I see her in the back of my mind, all the time

You lounged against Rafe’s back, soaking in the warmth of the sun as you lay sprawled on the deck of his yacht feeling the gentle sway of the boat beneath you. His thumb traced absent-minded circles on your hip while you stared out at the water.

“You good? You haven’t said much since we got here,” Rafe’s voice broke the silence, a note of concern laced with a hint of impatience. His hand rested lightly on your thighs, a gesture meant to reassure, yet it only intensified your unease. You snapped out of your daze, feeling the weight of the guilt that had been shadowing you ever since you and Rafe hooked up that one night.

“‘M fine,” you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. You fidgeted with your ring, a nervous habit you had developed over time. Rafe’s gaze, sharp and unyielding, didn’t waver. His frustration was palpable, and you could sense the slight edge in his tone.

“You’re obviously not, Y/N. What’s wrong?” His words were laced with a subtle annoyance that made you sit up abruptly, breaking the comfortable silence you had been trying to maintain. “I’m going to go inside for a bit,” you said, standing up and stretching. Rafe watched you carefully, his expression softening as he chose not to push further when you clearly didn’t want to talk.

As you moved past him on the sun lounge, he reached out and grasped your hand, making you pause in your tracks. The intensity of his gaze was almost palpable, his eyes searching yours for answers. Slowly, he drew your hand closer to his face and pressed a tender kiss to your knuckles.

The gesture was both affectionate and vulnerable, and his next words made your breath catch. “I love you,” he said softly, the sincerity in his voice making your heart ache. A shiver ran through. A shiver ran through you as you tried to process the weight of his confession.

You couldn’t shake the image of him saying those same words to Sofia, the unresolved guilt gnawing at your insides. You managed a tight-lipped smile, the weight of your conflicted emotions pressing down on you. “Love you too,” you said quickly, before withdrawing your hand and heading inside. The door clicked shut behind you, and you were left alone with your thoughts.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love Rafe—quite the opposite. You were certain that you’d never felt as deeply for anyone as you did for him. That's why you didn't stop seeing him. But the reality of loving him, especially given that he was your best friend’s ex, made everything feel so much more complicated.

So you couldn’t help but see Sofia in the back of your mind whenever you were with Rafe. It felt unfair to him, but most of all it was so fucking unfair for Sofia. Every time you were with Rafe, all you could think about was how fucked up it was that you ended up hooking up with her ex at a party she had skipped because she was still getting over the breakup. She’d wanted you to have fun, and yet here you were, knowing you were betraying her trust.

[reidmania]

I MISS YOU IM SORRY | spencer reid

good riddance x spencer reid one shot series masterlist!!

summary; Spencer calls after being broken up for a month.

warnings ; fem reader, hopeful/happy ending, angst, exes to lovers, mentions of arguments, breakups, miscommunication, avoidant reader, loving spencer, break up bc reader pushed him away bc of self doubt, pretty tame. i love this i think

an ; RAHH fic twoooooo ehehehe. risk is coming soon i just had to pump out the angst really quick ok bare w me!!

You said, "Forever, " in the end I fought it Please be honest, are we better for it? Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called And said, "I miss you", I caught it. You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it I miss fightin' in your old apartment. Breakin' dishes when you're disappointed. I still love you, I promise. Nothin' happened in the way I wanted. Every corner of this house is haunted And I know you said that we're not talkin' But I miss you, I'm sorry

The call came as a shock. When you were holding onto the doors of your pantry, leaning back slightly as your eyes skimmed over the contents of it — Which was not a lot. You we’re thinking about that fact you needed to go grocery shopping.

How long could you avoid that?

It started right after you and Spencer broke up, where you refused to go because of the chance that you might see Spencer there. It was right between yours and his apartment so the chances weren’t completely low — and normally you and Spencer did the grocery shopping together.

It would normally consist of you dancing around the store picking up random things and Spencer watching you fondly as he pushed the cart. He would mutter something about what was healthiest and you would hum approvingly then grab the opposite of whatever he suggest because it ‘tasted better’ He would chuckle and press his lips to the top of your head.

You wanted to relive that so bad that the idea of being inside the shops without him seemed so wrong. It felt like doing something behind his back. Like watching an episode of the show you two were watching together without him. It just felt wrong.

So you decided you would go to a different shop, an hour drive away. Just to be safe, but who just had time for that?

Which was how your pantry had gotten near empty.

You still had the big bag of his coffee beans that he left here. The ones you weren’t a fan of buy it didn’t matter because Spencer would compromise and just buy both, or just yours. You had use all of yours and started using the ones he left here.

They left a bitter taste on your tongue and a sweet sensation down the back of your throat, they were strong and kept you awake for hours longer than your normal ones did — but weirdly enough; they felt like home.

The bag was brand-less, and you should’ve memorised what it was you were sure you knew. You just couldn’t remember.

How were you suppose to ask? Call him? Message him? Pop by his house and ask. You were sure if he got any soft of contact from you— about anything, you would be blocked in milliseconds. The feeling that thought provided made your stomach tighten more than you’d like to admit.

You almost stumbled over your own feet when you closed the pantry as your phone started to ring, you saw it light up with a contact but your mind paid little attention as you answered, not even actually looking at your phone, your attention elsewhere.

“Hello?” You muttered as you walked towards the coffee machine you and Spencer had decided to get as an anniversary present. To fuel both your coffee addictions. You shoulder held your phone against your ear as you grabbed the bag of coffee beans — Spencers coffee beans.

You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone, “Hey.” The voice. His voice. Tired and groggy as if he had just woken up but you knew him well enough to know he didn’t. You pulled your phone away from your ear as your mind clouded foggy. Your eyes danced over his contact for a moment. He was calling you — He called you. it sent familiar butterflies to your ribcage.

“Spencer?” You exhaled, despite already knowing it was him. You wondered if maybe this was some prank, if he was just calling because he needed something or maybe to call you and degrade you over every mistake you made in the ending of your relationship — you deserved that.

He had every right to hate you for how things ended, he had every right to hate you, period. You had assumed that was how he felt towards you. Hatred. You knew he loved you throughout your relationship, that wasn’t something you had to question but the idea of that still being the case after everything unfolded the way it did.. It didn’t even seem fathomable.

“Hi” He repeated. His voice was low and quiet, you didn’t know what that meant and it was driving you insane. Your feet pattered around the house suddenly feeling cold in the kitchen. Nothing but memories fogging your mind every corner you looked — that didn’t go away as you moved around the house. It was filled by him and it was consuming you whole. 

You let out a heavy breath. “Do you need something?” It didn’t come out how you wanted it to. It wasn’t harsh or anything but your voice weakened half way through your words making embarrassment creep up the back of your neck.

The other side of the phone was silent for a minute, making anxiety pool in your stomach. Your head tilted as you sat on the corner of the couch, wrapping yourself in the blanket on the couch — the one you used more often than you’d like to admit, since some night sleeping in the bed that was suppose to be shared with Spencer felt all too consuming, the way his scent lingered faintly over the sheets and his little nothings covered the window sill, his jacket still hung up in the closet.

“Spence are you okay?” The nickname fell from your lips before you could try to stop it. You heard a muffled sound on the other end of the phone making your stomach twist. Slight worry and confusion filled the wrinkles by your eyes as you squinted slightly.

“Ye- Im.. Im okay” He breathed out his voice heavy and filled with something you couldn’t place if you tried. You were sure it was an emotion you had felt since you felt a sick feeling of familiarity in your abdomen. “I just- Can we talk?” He asked.

Your eyebrows furrowed as your knees pulled to your chest. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?” You asked, in your mind there was a point to this conversation, there was something specific he needed to talk to you about or why else would he call. He wouldn’t, you thought.

“No-Not like that, i just- I just want to talk to you, about anything. Whatever you want I just—” There was a pause, his voice got quiet, almost a whisper, “I miss you.” The words that left his lips buried themselves deep inside your chest, building themselves a home there.

Your head span. He said it so quietly you were scared you might’ve missed it if he said it any quieter. But you didn’t, you caught it. A deep breath left your chest as your hand came to your forehead, your mind was so focused on the fact that, he missed you. He called because he missed you. You almost forgot to answer him. You figured if he said the comment so quietly, maybe he didn’t want a reply on it, so you continued on with the conversation as the words interfered with the rhythmic beating of your heart.

“What coffee beans to do you buy?” You settled on. You heard him chuckle on the other side of the phone before passing a comment asking ‘why? You hated them’ It made your heart flutter uncomfortablely. The two of you continued talking about coffee beans for ten minutes before he muttered about how he had to go, you knew it was probably work related. But god he sounded so sad saying it.

“Spencer?” You asked softly, your voice coming out quieter than what you expected. You heard his soft hum on the other side of the phone. You didn’t want to admit how much you missed him, how your entire being craved him every minute of everyday regardless of what you did — nothing in the world could fill the him-shaped- hole that took up the space of your gut.

“I’m sorry” You apologised and you hoped it was clear you were apologising for everything, for the arguments, for the breakup, for pushing him away for no real good reason beside your own self doubt. It was the sorry you were too proud to mutter out a month ago.

There was a moment on the other side of the phone where you were almost convinced he was going to hang up — you worried you brought up what he didn’t want to talk about.

But instead, “I miss you.” He said louder this time, as if he believed you didn’t hear it the first time. The words made your stomach clench tightly and your muscles both tighten and relax at the same time.

You sigh, you should have shut up. He had to go, you know that but the words came out honestly as “I still love you” You said. You wanted to slap yourself in the face, now you really weren’t gonna be surprised if he hung up and blocked you.

There was a heavy breath, you couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. “Well-“ He huffed, “If you still love me, and- I still love you..” He muttered out intentionally, hoping you caught on to what he was insinuating. Your mind however was captivated by the fact that, he still loved you.

“We should probably talk” He finished when you didn’t, “Please?” It was thrown in there both to use manners and to show how badly he wanted this. You weren’t ever gonna say no in the first place.

“We should. Do you need to go grocery shopping?” You asked, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you almost smiled. You could almost imagine his confusion.

“Um— I guess that depends —Do you?” He asked. You huffed out a small laugh, nodding your head absentmindedly as you realised he couldn’t see you. “Do you still go to-“

He cut you off, “No. No i started going to the one across town, about an hour away” He said, honestly. You head tilted slightly as you realised he started going to the one you were going to. The conversation continued as you both ignored — or forgot the fact he needed to go.

“Why?”

“So you didn’t feel uncomfortable if I was there when you were” He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It made your stomach scrunch up and your chest to bruise your ribcage as the beating of your heart only increased.

“Let’s go grocery shopping, at our shop. Then um— you can come here and I can make you coffee?” You suggested slightly awkwardly, as you worried about the chance of rejection and the embarrassment you would feel.

“It’s a date.” He smiled, you could hear it in his voice.

“Okay.” You exhaled out.

[love-belle]

i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the songs she wrote haunt him while he's trying to move on.

or

for when you thought that it'd be forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lewis hamilton x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - im so SORRY!!!!!! i genuinely have no inspiration to write atm but i still wrote this bc i felt so guilty :// i hope u like this, i love you thank u sm for sticking around <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 3,628,344 others

yourusername my ep "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" is finally hereeee!!!!!!! i wrote one half of it on the floor of my closet and the other half in my gf's (carmenmmundt) bedroom so this obviously holds a lot of meaning to me :) i hope all of u are able to heal a part of yourself while listening to this just like how i was able to heal myself while writing and recording this <3 i love u and im so proud of u in case no one told u this today, thank u so much for supporting me, i'll forever be in love with u all

18,528 comments

username IM SCREAMING MISS MA'AM WHAT IS THIS

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username nothing has ever and will ever hurt me like this ep has

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username the way she's literally our mother like AHSHSJSJJSJSKSS I LOVE U

username lewis hamilton watch ur back

username tears are streaming down what the fuck

username OH SHIT I WON THE BREAKUP

username love how this ep is her crying abt lewis and simultaneously shitting on him and somehow still blaming herself for everything

username THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 HEAVEN 😭 KNOWS 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 AND 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 GOES 😭

landonorris nice album 👍

-> yourusername thank u this random dude said it hit all the right corners

-> yourusername unlike u in the last race

-> landonorris UNPROVOKED

-> username NAH SHE'S SO WRONG FOR THIS

username did it hurt? when y/n finally acknowledged her break up but with a 5 song ep that rips out ur heart out of ur body and crushes it?

username need lewis to blind react to this NOW

username I KNOW THAT I SHOULD KNOW BETTER

username the way i know lewis saw this post and cried like imagine having to say that y/n y/l/n is ur ex gf???

-> username right like i would litch never show my face again

-> username no bc he was so "my girl is angry with me i hope death takes me swiftly" HOW IS HE HOLDING UP

username they still follow each other that HAS to mean something

username all this time we were hoping for a lewis x y/n collab but instead we got a break up and endless PAIN

-> username no bc we got "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" (feat. lewis hamilton getting ripped to shreds)

carmenmmundt so proud 🩷

-> yourusername ILOVEYOUSOMUCH

username NO ONE TALK TO ME IM CRYING OVER TWO WEEKS AGO

username WHEN U SAID WE'RE LIKE YOUR MUM AND DAD KNEW U LOVED ME BABE WHEN U TOLD ME THAT

username im in shambles whatcthe fufk

lilymhe tears are falling down LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE IT

-> yourusername i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE YOU

username CAUSE U BROKE MY HEART AND MY SELF ESTEEM FOR A GIRL WHO'S A REMIX OF ME

-> username when i tell u my jaw DROPPED

username she did NOT hold back

-> username committed several felonies one by one

-> username no bc "now you're living the goddamn dream have a golden star this one's for free" had me SHOOK

username "nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it" called me out SO BAD

username i bet lewis didn't last one (1) verse without bursting into tears

charles_leclerc 1/10. the singer called my pasta "dog shit".

-> yourusername it's a miracle i survived that

-> charles_leclerc ALEX LOVED IT

-> yourusername U LITERALLY TOLD HER UR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDED ON IT

username the way i loved u i will not be embarrassed of that just should've known when to quit ARE U KIDDING ME Y/N

username "the love we had was eating me whole i had to send it home" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username yoko broke me half bc WHAT DO U MEAN he misunderstood her 😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,628,148 others

lewishamilton better than i was two weeks ago

16,689 comments

username SCREECHING WHAT THD FUCK

username nah im like wtf

username WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN TJE LAST SLIDE???? LEWIS????

username nah the audacity of men sometimes

username im going feral wgatctefuck

landonorris GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-> landonorris sorry oscar took my phone but the sentiment stands the same

-> lewishamilton lando?

username bitches are so messy sometimes i LOVE it

username the way i know he cried while hitting post

-> username frrrr LMFAO like there's no way he's this thriving after the break up

username lewis it's okay to cry after losing mom 🗣️🥶😭🙏 we're suffering too 💯‼️🔥💔

username so no one's gonna mention that one interview?????

-> username please i SCREAMED like what do u mean he dissed her on live tv

-> username "yeah i mean you can either be mature about some things or go about it the childish way and i guess she's chosen her way so yeah"

-> username for me it's the way charles and lando both looked at him like they knew my guy was talking out of his ass 😭

username when he announced that he was dating y/n and the caption was "better than i was before" but WITH her and now it's when they've broken up and he's WITHOUT her

-> username WHY WHY WHY WH YWHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP

username slowly going insane over the fact that we're never gonna get a dog mom y/n feature on roscoe's acc ever again

maxverstappen1 not really, no. we can hear you listening to apologise by one republic.

-> lewishamilton we're not even in the same hotel?

-> username NOT APOLOGISE BY ONE REPUBLIC

-> username oh so he's DESTROYED destroyed

username nah bc if the rumours are true i will go straight for manslaughter bc wtf

-> username GIRL WHAT RUMOURS

-> username AJSJSISIKWISISJJS so basically some people were saying that y/n and lewis broke up bc lewis was finding it hard to be in a long distance relationship and they weren't seeing each other much and also he was (APPARENTLY) saying that he's js not at a point where he WANTS to be in a relationship but just 3 weeks after their break up he was seen with a girl and they're allegedly dating idk

-> usernme NAH WHAT THR CHCK

-> username how's he gonna say he doesn't wanna be in a relationship but turn around and date someone else like BRO

-> usernme lewis didn't cheat but he's still a traitor 😔💔

-> username "got the news just last month that i'm exhausting and you're not in love" makes so much sense now wtf

georgerussell63 pick up my phone??? what is this behaviour lewis???

-> lewishamilton you've done nothing except yell at me

-> georgerussell63 IT'S SO JUSTIFIED PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE

-> username russell george i am shook

-> username omg he's madddddd

username the entire grid is gonna jump lewis bc of this no one can convince me otherwise

-> username sebastian probably yelled at him over phone

-> username toto is delaying contract renewal bc of this

-> usernme george is gonna make him kiss the barriers bc carmen asked him to

-> username mick is definitely giving him the silent treatment

-> username roscoe barked at him

mercedesamgf1 lewis, come back to the garage, we're calm. - toto wolff

-> lewishamilton make max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, fernando and daniel leave and then i will.

-> mercedesamgf1 they're not gonna jump you, lewis. - toto wolff

-> maxverstappen1 yes we will

-> charles_leclerc yes we will

-> carlossainz55 yes we will

-> landonorris yes we will

-> oscarpiastri yes we will

-> danielricciardo yes we will

-> fernandoalo_official yes we will

-> mercedesamgf1 yes they will. - toto wolff

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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yourusername i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours

comments on this post have been limited

username AHHHDJEJDIEJEKSKSK

username nobody speak to me they finally unfollowed each other

username IM CRYING ARE WE REALLY DONE DONE NOW

username OH SHIT YOU WON THE BREAKUP 🗣️🔥💯‼️

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username nah wtf i wasn't even this sad over my ACTUAL REAL parents divorce

username do it for roscoe guys get back bc of him :(

charles_leclerc it's november what are you doing

-> yourusername it's the formation lap what are you doing

-> charles_leclerc STOP I'M TRYING TO GET OVER THAT

-> username IM CRYING SHE WILL NEVER LET THE GRID LIVE IN PEACE

username i will always remember the way lewis was so :) whenever she was around and the way y/n was so 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like

username IM SCREAMING THEY UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER

-> username no bc why am i so destroyed over two exes unfollowing each other

username y/n i will always let u bejeweled pls give me a chance

roscoelovescoco not cools mum's

-> yourusername LOG OUT OF THIS ACC I SWEAR TO GOD LEWIS

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username I DON'T NEED YOUR LIGHT TO BE LIT

lilymhe YOU'RE GLOWING I LOVE U STAY HAPPY ALWAYS AHSHSJSISN 😡😡😡😡😡

-> yourusername MY LOVE I LOVEEEEE YOU

username forever in love with her like AHSJSJSS

username i screamed

username someone sedate me im ginna pass out WHAT IS THIS

[watchyourbuck]

okay so just watched the new ep, here’s my 911 s7 ep 1 thoughts:

nearly broke down watching Shannon read the letter to Chris. “I love you, even from a distance.” I’m unwell.

the bucktalia breakup explanation was funny, but what was funnier and gayer was Eddie’s reaction to it sjdjdj

there’s absolutely no chemistry between Marisol and Eddie.

the whole Bathena marital struggles™️ arc doesn’t convince me too much tbh (although I understand Athena’s thought process & concerns).

Chris putting the Shannon frame back up and Eddie’s heart visibly repairing in front of us will forever haunt me btw

“never seen a man turn off a woman with such skills.” “it’s a gift.” fuck off u homosexual

during that same scene, Buck staring longingly and lovingly at Eddie will also forever haunt me

Buck saying the sexual tension line and Eddie almost passing out is very in character

I genuinely felt bad for Bobby during the whole episode

Madney dating and then not dating makes me fuzzy inside, they’re so obviously in love

shirtless Eddie and drooling Buck <3

Eddie eavesdropping on Buck & Chris and scrunching his face in pain made me stop the ep, sit down on the floor and scream

[its-avalon-08]

why did you leave me (cl16)

part5! BONUS SCENE - CHARLES'S BREAKUP

multipart story! prev || next

summary : charles and y/n have always been best friends. but y/n has been in love with him forever. when charles starts dating a new girl, out of respect y/n distances herself. but how much is too much?

✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader

The sun had set over Monaco, casting long shadows across Charles' apartment. The tension in the air was palpable as Charles paced back and forth, waiting for Camille to arrive. They needed to talk, and he knew it wasn't going to be easy.

When Camille finally walked through the door, Charles could immediately sense her irritation. She tossed her bag onto the couch and crossed her arms, glaring at him.

"What is it, Charles? Why did you want to talk?" Camille snapped, her tone dripping with annoyance.

Charles took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. "We need to discuss us, Camille. Things haven't been right between us for a while now."

"Oh, so now you notice?" Camille shot back, rolling her eyes. "It took you long enough."

"I've noticed, Camille. But I've also noticed how you've been treating Y/N," Charles said, his voice rising slightly. "And it's not okay."

Camille's eyes narrowed. "Y/N? This is about Y/N? Of course, it is. You're always so concerned about her. Maybe if you spent half as much time worrying about our relationship as you do about her, we wouldn’t be having this conversation."

"Y/N is my best friend," Charles retorted, his anger bubbling up. "And you’ve been nothing but hostile towards her."

"Best friend?" Camille scoffed. "More like the other woman. She’s always around, always in your life. It’s pathetic, Charles."

"Stop it, Camille," Charles warned, his voice cold. "Y/N has done nothing to deserve your insults."

"She’s a meddling little bitch," Camille spat, her face twisted with contempt. "Always trying to come between us. No wonder she doesn't have anyone else. She's just a lonely, desperate girl who can't stand to see us happy."

Charles felt his blood boil. "That's enough, Camille. Y/N is not the problem here. You are."

"Me?" Camille laughed bitterly. "You’re blaming me for everything now? Maybe if you weren't so obsessed with Y/N, we’d still be happy."

"We were never fucking happy," Charles shouted, his frustration boiling over. "Not really anyway. And now I see why. All you wanted was to attend those fancy lunches and parties, take pictures for your godforsaken social media and you never had time for me. Just me. "

Charles took a deep breath, trying to keep his anger in check. "Y/N isn't even around that much anymore, Camille. How can you still make her out to be the villain in all of this?"

Camille's eyes gleamed with a sadistic satisfaction as she leaned in closer. "Because even when she's not around, she's all you ever think about. Face it, Charles, she's the ghost that haunts our relationship, and you're too blind to see it."

"Well, let me make it clear for you. I’ve been seeing someone else. For months now. Because I couldn't stand being second to your precious Y/N," Camille sneered.

Charles felt like the ground had been ripped out from under him. "You what?" he whispered, the betrayal cutting deep.

"That’s right," Camille said, a twisted smile on her face. "I’ve been cheating on you. And guess what? I’m leaving you for him. You can have your little friend all to yourself."

Charles clenched his fists, trying to control his anger. "Get out," he said through gritted teeth. "Get the fuck out of my apartment."

"Gladly," Camille retorted, grabbing her bag. "Good luck with your perfect little Y/N. You’re going to need it."

As she stormed out, slamming the door behind her, Charles sank onto the couch, his mind reeling. The room was silent except for the sound of his ragged breathing. He felt a mix of rage, betrayal, and overwhelming sadness.

Charles picked up his phone, his hands trembling. He wanted to call Y/N, to hear her voice, but he knew it wouldn't be fair to drag her into this mess. She had left him, his best friend was gone, his girlfriend had cheated on him and he was so utterly alone. He stared at the screen, lost in a sea of emotions.

Finally, he whispered to himself, "I have no one."

As the night wore on, Charles realized that he had to make things right. Not just with Y/N, but with himself. He had to face his feelings, confront the pain, and find a way to move forward. And he knew, deep down, that Y/N was the only person who could help him do that.

taglist : @hiireadstuff @starz4me1 @f1fantasys @aundercoverosh @ohthemisssery @ggaslyp1 @hadids-world @matcha---matcha @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @timmychalametsstufff @janeh22 @ironmaiden13133 @majusialikesfastcarss @sunnytkm23

[areislol]

it just won't be the same.

"you were a wonderful experience." "you were... everything."

ft— various genshin male x gn! reader

warning — angst with no comfort,breakup!! intended lowercase, not proofread.

a/n— just putting this out before chapter six of my series, we love that. anywho i have another lil thing on the way as well ^^

wordcount. 1.0k

truth be told, he missed you. he missed you a lot.

as the days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months, he found himself grappling with the lingering ache of heartbreak that seemed to deepen with every passing moment.

he reminisces about his connection with you, a connection which no longer existed. the apartment they once called "home" echoed with the haunting silence of memories.

he... remembers how he had grown accustomed to waking up alone. for years, the empty space beside him seemed to mirror the loneliness that lingered in his heart. but when a serendipitous twist of fate introduced him to you, he found himself waking up in bed alongside his lover who admiringly gazes at him.

for once he felt happiness, he would've never imagined himself to finally find the one, that he would always be alone—and yet here you were. ready to embrace and welcome him in your loving arms.

but of course, not everything lasted forever. and that's what hurt the most. he thought that you would be the very one to be by his side forever until you both grow old. he had faith, he trusted himself and his intuition.

oh how he was he was wrong.

he faced the harsh reality of an ending that he never saw coming. The pain, raw and unfiltered, painted his world in shades of heartache. he found himself grappling with the harsh truth that not all love stories are meant to endure.

and once again, he found himself waking up to the haunting vacancy of an empty bed. he grappled with the familiar ache of waking up alone, haunted by the fleeting happiness that had slipped through his grasp.

he wondered how something that felt so right could end so painfully wrong.

he remembered the day you sent him that very text, the very text that would have ever-lasting effects on him. the very text he dreaded since the beginning of your relationship.

he remembered how he felt when he first got a look at your message. "we should talk." oh. that sentence.

he remembered meeting up with you on a rainy day (coincidental huh?) at 2 AM, surprisingly you didn't bring an umbrella which you usually did, luckily for him he brought one for you both to share.

"there's no need, i'll make this quick."

quick? what did you mean? he was unsure of what you had meant, oh if he could only go back and try to persuade you so much more.

the rain poured from the sky in a relentless downpour, as if the very sky had opened up to release its pent-up emotions. it just had to be raining.

both your hairs were soaking wet, rain dribbling down from your head to your face, he had the urge to wipe your face dry and hold an umbrella over you but, he knew better.

he remembers feeling an undescribable gut-wrenching feeling, one he had never felt before.

he remembered how dry his throat felt, had it always been that dry?

he remembered how he seemed to have stopped breathing, his breath short and rigged.

"lets break up, i.. i just don't think this will work. you're too busy and i don't feel loved at all, you really hurt me. i'm sorry but i think this is for the best."

"break up?" his voice was barely above a whisper as his words slipped from his mouth, he inched closer to you, hand reaching out to you before he stopped himself.

he remembered seeing you crying, or maybe it was just the rain. he couldn't see properly anyway, tears were brimming his eyes.

it just couldn't be. his eyes remained focused on you, he studied your face. was this a prank? no, your face.. it was mingled with many emotions, anger? disappointment? he was unsure. brows furrowed as you stared at him, not uttering a single word.

"n—no wait, please, explain yourself. i— if i did something wrong please tell me what i did i'll fix it! what do you mean you don't feel loved? i'll give you everything you need please don't—"

it was no use. his words left no impression on you, he stumbled over his words as he continued to pour out his heart, thinking about everything he must've done to upset you.

"please, don't make this anymore complicated than it already is, you know what you did. i only wish you the best,"

he remembered you letting out a sigh before speaking again. "... you were a wonderful experience."

a wonderful experience?

he remembered everything so vividly as if it happened yesterday. he remembered standing out in the rain in the dead of night, you were long gone, leaving him in the pouring rain, the soft glowing amber streetlights illuminating the wet concrete ground

"you were... everything." he whispered, the weight of those words hanging in the air. his voice was shaky and barely audible as he let out quiet, pained choked sobs, letting his tears run freely down his cheeks.

the pain was unbearable.

the days, weeks, months and years after was like no other. he felt incomplete, he couldn't quite accept the fact that you two were over, gone, all the things you did together were gone. nothing but bittersweet memories.

he despised the gods for being so cruel, everywhere he went was just another blunt reminder of you. the cafes, the parks, museums, galleries, everything.

even the cats you both used to feed every weekend, everything reminded him of you. it was like a curse, clinging and gnawing on his heart.

regret loomed over him like a shadow as he found himself grappling with the haunting question of what could have been done differently. he traced his fingers over old photographs, the smiles frozen in time.

his fingers would linger there on your face a little bit longer unknowingly.

the truth remained: the love that had once been the foundation of their shared world had crumbled, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he had let something precious slip through his fingers.

but, if there was a chance, he would go back in time and change everything he ever did to upset you. he yearned for a time machine to undo the missteps and restore the life they had built together. please, take him back.

— (all male genshin characters)

note: erm i just wanted to yeah i wrote this in an hour so if it is rushed NO IT IS NOT (yes it is)

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls if im missing anyone please tell me because i have an inkling feeling i missed a few..

liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!!!

another note: NOW A (slight) ANGST WITH COMFORT FIC NEXT YAY

[alyrasturnz]

Can you write a fic with Chris based off of wildflower by Billie Eilish?

Like y/n was the love of his life but they broke up and now he’s seeing someone new trying to move on but she can tell he isn’t over y/n and they have a heated argument about it.

I feel like “everytime you touch me i just wonder how she felt” and “i wonder, do you see her in the back of your mind in my eyes” are such good inspo

 ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎WILDFLOWER

❐ summary » y/n was the love of his life, yet their trajectories diverged, culminating in a grievous breakup. now, as he endeavors to move forward with someone new, the specters of his past love persistently haunt him. his new partner discerns the lingering affections for y/n, and tensions escalate. a fervent argument unfolds, exposing the raw and unresolved emotions that continue to tether him to y/n.

❐ pairings » bf!chris x fem!reader

❐ warnings » lowkey cheating, toxic!chris, arguing, happy ending (for y/n)

❐ a/n && w/c » should i start a taglist • 3.57k

in the tranquil embrace of the dimly lit room, chris and paige lay entwined upon his bed, their bodies a seamless tapestry of connection. the gentle whir of the ceiling fan above whispered through the silence, a soft serenade that punctuated the stillness, as if the very air conspired to preserve the sanctity of their shared moment.

chris's arm was draped around her, his fingers weaving intricate patterns on her shoulder, as though inscribing silent poems upon her skin. paige nestled closer, her head resting against his chest, attuned to the steady cadence of his heartbeat. it should have been a moment of unblemished contentment, yet her mind was a tempest, far from the tranquility her body sought.

as chris's hand moved tenderly along her arm, paige's thoughts began to swirl in a chaotic dance. she closed her eyes, seeking solace in the darkness, but instead of peace, she was haunted by vivid images of you—chris's ex—intruding upon her mind like unbidden specters.

she wondered if chris had held you in this very manner, if his touch had imparted the same comfort and warmth to her. the thought gnawed at her, a seed of doubt taking root in her heart, its tendrils weaving through her mind, casting shadows over the fragile serenity she sought to grasp.

she wondered if he saw y/n in her eyes, even though she was nothing like y/n. y/n was sweet, fun, and carefree—everything she was not. the comparison lingered like a ghost, casting a pall over her thoughts and deepening the chasm of insecurity within her.

yet she couldn't shake the unsettling thought that he had only ever chosen her because she served as a faint echo of you, a mere shadow of the person he truly longed for.

she shifts ever so slightly, her movements almost imperceptible, as she wonders if he compares her to you. with each passing second, her chest tightens, the weight of unspoken comparisons pressing down upon her heart.

chris shifted slightly, pulling her closer, his breath warm against her hair. paige tried to banish the intrusive thoughts, to anchor herself in the present moment, but they persisted—relentless and unforgiving. each touch, every gentle caress, seemed to be imbued with the lingering shadow of your presence, an echo that refused to fade.

she wondered if he ever whispered the same sweet nothings to you that he now murmured to her. did he cradle you in his arms like this, weaving promises of forever into the fabric of your shared moments?

he swore that you and chris merely drifted apart, that love had simply faded like the last light of dusk, but you couldn't bring yourself to believe it for a moment.

you had parted ways with chris on seemingly good terms, a mutual agreement that love had simply waned, a mere facade concealing the tumultuous emotions buried deep within. she sensed that the stolen glances from across the room held far more significance than either of you dared to admit.

after all, you were his first love, the initial spark that ignited his heart, a flame that, despite the passage of time, still flickered faintly in the recesses of his memory.

paige's mind raced, each question more painful than the last. she felt ensnared in a web of insecurity, unable to escape the relentless comparisons that haunted her. the more she struggled to free herself, the tighter they clung, like shadows in the dim corners of her consciousness.

chris's voice pierced the tumult of her thoughts, soft and laden with affection. "you okay, paige? you seem a little distant," he murmured, his words a gentle tether pulling her back from the abyss of her reverie.

she hesitated, her heart pounding like a distant drum. should she voice her fears? would he grasp the depth of her turmoil, or would it only drive a wedge between them? yet, the weight of her thoughts was too heavy a burden to shoulder alone.

"chris," she began, her voice quivering like a fragile leaf in the wind, "do you ever think about y/n when you’re with me?”

chris's brow furrowed, a labyrinth of perplexity etched across his features. “what do you mean?"

paige drew in a deep breath, attempting to anchor herself amidst the storm of her emotions. “i just.. i can't help but wonder if you see her when you look at me, if you compare us. it feels like she's always there, in the background, and i can't compete with that."

chris's eyes widened, a flicker of astonishment dancing within them. "paige, no. y/n is in the past. you’re the one i want to be with.”

but the words, though heartfelt, did little to calm the tempest raging within her. "every time you touch me, i am haunted by the thought of whether your touch was the same for her. whether your love was the same for her. i need to know that i’m not just a substitute.”

chris sat up, his visage etched with anguish. "paige, you are not a replacement. you are my everything."

chris bit his tongue, the weight of unspoken truths pressing heavily upon him. he knew that none of those words held any semblance of veracity. not a single one.

but as paige gazed deeply into his eyes, the lingering doubt refused to fade. the phantoms of bygone days clung tenaciously to her thoughts, casting long, indelible shadows that resisted the light of hope. the road ahead, winding and enigmatic, appeared laden with treacherous uncertainties, each step a venture into the unknown.

paige crossed her arms tightly and averted her gaze, her voice quivering with raw emotion. "chris, i see the way you look at her. it's like your heart still belongs to y/n, no matter what you say to me."

chris reached out to her, his eyes pleading with a silent desperation. "paige, that's not true. i love you. y/n is in the past. you're the one i want to be with now."

but paige recoiled from his touch, her eyes brimming with hurt. "every time she walks into the room, your eyes light up. i can't compete with that. how can i believe you when your actions say otherwise?"

chris sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "paige, you're misreading things. yes, y/n was a big part of my life, but that chapter is closed. i'm here with you, trying to build something real."

tears welled up in paige's eyes as she shook her head, her voice trembling with emotion. she took a step back, wrapping her arms around herself as if to shield her heart. "trying isn't enough, chris. i need to feel like i'm the only one in your heart, not just a placeholder until you figure things out."

taking her hands in his, chris gazed deeply into her eyes, his expression earnest and imploring. he gently traced his thumb across the back of her hand, his voice soft yet fervent. "you're not a placeholder, paige. you're everything to me. i wish you could see that."

paige pulled her hands back, her fingers trembling as she took a step away. her voice broke, a mixture of frustration and sorrow. "maybe i would, if you weren't so caught up in your past. i need more than words, chris. i need to feel it in my soul, and right now, all i feel is doubt."

frustrated, chris began pacing back and forth, his hands running through his hair in exasperation. "what do you want me to do, paige? how can i prove to you that you're the one i love?"

her voice trembled as she spoke, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "i don't know, chris. but i can't keep living in the shadow of your past relationship. i need to know that i'm your future, not just a consolation prize."

chris halted his pacing and turned to look at her intently, his heart aching with every beat. "paige, you're not a consolation prize. you're the person i want to spend my life with. but if you can't see that, i don't know what else i can do."

paige whispered, her voice barely audible, as if the very words pained her to utter. "maybe... maybe we need some time apart. to figure out what we really want."

heartbroken, chris reached out one last time, his voice a raw plea. "paige, please. don't do this. i need you."

he knew, deep within the labyrinthine corridors of his mind, that it was a lie. he didn't need her in the way he had so fervently convinced himself. what he truly yearned for was a sweet escape from the relentless swarm of thoughts that plagued his consciousness, each one a persistent whisper in the cacophony of his inner turmoil.

among these thoughts, y/n stood as the most consuming, a constant presence that refused to be silenced, a beacon of both torment and longing.

but paige stepped back, tears streaming down her face like rivers carving their path through a desolate landscape. "i need to feel loved, chris. and right now, i just don't." her voice, tinged with a sorrow that resonated like the mournful call of a distant bird.

with those words, she turned and walked away, her silhouette fading into the encroaching shadows, leaving chris standing there, a solitary figure amidst the twilight of their love, a poignant testament to the fragility of human connections.

paige stormed out of his room, her emotions a tempest barely contained. you were seated on the couch with nick, the vibrant spectacle of rupaul’s drag race playing out on the screen, an ironic contrast to the storm brewing within the confines of the house.

“paige? you okay?” you ask, turning your gaze to her, your eyebrows furrowing in concern as you try to decipher the storm of emotions reflected in her eyes.

paige stopped abruptly, anger coursing through her veins like wildfire. “i'm fine!” she yelled, her voice echoing through the room as she stormed out, leaving you to turn and exchange a bewildered glance with nick.

“why do i have a feeling i just got lied to,” you muse aloud, your voice tinged with skepticism, as nick snorts in response, a wry smile playing on his lips.

“i'm going to hold your hand while i tell you this,” nick replies, his tone a mix of sincerity and jest, before turning back to the tv. you chuckle, the moment a fleeting blend of humor and earnestness.

suddenly, a loud thud reverberates through the room, followed by chris's voice, laced with frustration, uttering a string of colorful expletives.

your gaze shifts to his room before returning to nick. “i'll be back,” you say, rising from your seat and making your way towards chris's room with determined steps.

you knock gently thrice upon his door, each tap a measured beat against the wood.

“go away!” he yelled from the other side of the door, his voice slightly muffled and barely audible through the barrier.

you disregard his command and gently push the door ajar, peeking your head through the narrow opening. “chris?” you call softly, your voice a tender whisper in the dim light.

his head was cradled in his hands, and he sat perched on the edge of his bed, the weight of his thoughts pressing down on him. as you entered, he slowly lifted his hands from his face, revealing eyes that had softened upon seeing you.

“y/n,” he murmured, his voice carrying a mix of surprise and relief, as he rose to his feet, the tension in his posture gradually easing.

“are you alright?” you inquire, stepping into his room with a gentle grace and closing the door behind you, sealing the world outside and creating a sanctuary within.

“no,” he muttered, shaking his head slowly. “i just got into a fight with paige, and i feel so guilty..” he sighed deeply, his breath heavy with remorse.

you tilt your head slightly, a look of curiosity and concern crossing your face. “guilty? why do you feel that way?” you ask, your voice gentle yet probing, seeking to understand the depths of his remorse.

“because,” chris begins, his voice trailing off into silence as he stares at you, his eyes searching for the right words. he bites his lip, the reluctance evident in his expression. after a moment of heavy hesitation, he finally confesses, “because she thinks i’m still in love with you.”

the corner of your lips curl up into a smile, which quickly blossoms into a loud, unrestrained laugh. “that's utterly ridiculous!” you exclaim, the absurdity of the notion striking you as profoundly amusing.

chris remains silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. “she’s not wrong,” he finally says, his voice flat and devoid of emotion. your laughter halts abruptly, the gravity of his words sinking in.

“what?” you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper, the weight of his admission hanging heavily in the air.

chris's eyes were filled with a palpable desperation as he stood there, his hands trembling ever so slightly. “i don't know,” he whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. “but what i do know is that i can't stop thinking about you. i need you back in my life."

you took a step back, shaking your head in disbelief. “this isn't right, chris,” you said, your voice firm yet laced with pain. “you're still with paige. oh god—this is so wrong.”

"i know, i know," he said, his eyes brimming with a desperate plea. he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, his fingers trembling slightly. "but i'll handle it. i'll talk to her." he took a deep breath, his voice cracking. "i just can't bear the thought of losing you again."

you looked at him, your heart aching with a tumultuous blend of emotions. "chris, you have to understand," you said, your voice wavering. "you can't just leave her for me. it's not fair to anyone." your eyes searched his, hoping to convey the depth of your turmoil.

"i don't care," he said, his voice growing more desperate, the intensity in his eyes unwavering. "i love you, y/n. i'll do whatever it takes to make this right." his hands clenched into fists, a testament to his determination.

tears welled up in your eyes as you turned away, your shoulders trembling. "you need to figure things out with paige first," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "i can't be a part of this until you do."

chris reached out, his hand trembling, but you stepped back again, creating a chasm of unspoken pain between you. "please," he whispered, his voice breaking like fragile glass. "don't walk away."

you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself amidst the storm of emotions. "i have to, chris," you said, your voice trembling like a leaf in the wind. "for now, at least. you need to sort things out with paige."

chris sank to his knees, his hands clawing desperately at the empty space around him, as if trying to capture the fleeting remnants of hope. "y/n, please," he cried out, his voice reverberating with the raw, unfiltered agony of his heart. "i can't lose you. you're the one thing that makes sense in my life."

you turned slowly, your gaze falling upon him with a poignant blend of sorrow and steely resolve. "chris, this isn't just about us," you said, your voice carrying the weight of unspoken truths. "it's about doing the right thing. you need to end things properly with paige before we can even contemplate the possibility of something new."

"how can i?" he asked, tears streaming down his face like rivers of sorrow. "how can i let go of you when you're the only thing that feels right in this chaotic world?"

"you have to," you said, your voice soft but unwavering like a gentle but firm breeze. "for both our sakes. you need to be honest with her, and with yourself. only then can we truly see if there's a chance for us amidst the uncertainty."

chris's shoulders slumped, the weight of your words pressing down on him like an unbearable burden. he knew you were right, yet the mere thought of losing you, even if only temporarily, was more than he could bear. "i'll do it," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the gravity of the moment. "i'll talk to her. but promise me you'll wait for me."

you looked at him, your heart breaking for the man you loved, yet understanding that this was the only path forward. "i can't promise anything, chris," you said gently, your voice tinged with both sorrow and hope. "but if you come back to me with a clear heart and a clean slate, then maybe... just maybe, we can find our way back to each other."

with that, you turned and walked away, leaving chris kneeling on the ground, his heart shattered into countless fragments. yet, amidst the ruins of his despair, there lingered a glimmer of hope that one day, through the trials and tribulations of time, he might earn your love once more.

»--•--«

on the following day, chris materialized at your doorstep, his breath ragged and his form soaked in perspiration, a testament to the urgency that propelled him to your abode.

his eyes, a tumultuous sea of resolve and fragility, locked onto yours as he found his voice, which quivered yet held a steely determination. "i have ended things with paige," he declared, the words cascading out with an air of irrevocability. "i did it for you."

you stood there, stunned, the gravity of his declaration slowly permeating your consciousness. your heart raced, each beat a drum echoing in the silence that enveloped you both. you could feel the weight of his words pressing down on your chest, making it difficult to breathe.

"chris," you began, your voice a delicate whisper tinged with uncertainty, "are you certain about this? you might regret this."

he took a step closer, his eyes unwaveringly fixed on yours, the intensity in his gaze palpable. "i've never been more sure of anything in my life," he replied, his voice growing stronger with each word, like a river gaining momentum. "i realized that i can't go on without knowing if we have a chance. you're the one i want to be with."

a tear slipped down your cheek as you absorbed his words, the weight of his confession settling deep within you. "i... i don't know what to say," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart, each beat resonating like a drum in the stillness.

"then don't say anything," chris said gently, his hands reaching out to cup your face with a tenderness that belied the intensity of the moment. "just let me show you how much you mean to me," he continued, his voice a soothing balm, promising a depth of feeling that words alone could never convey.

he took a deep breath, his eyes delving into yours, searching for any flicker of hesitation. "i know i've made mistakes," he continued, his voice laden with raw emotion, each word a testament to his vulnerability. "but losing you made me realize what truly matters. i want to make things right, to earn your trust and your love again," he declared, his plea resonating with a sincerity that sought to bridge the chasm between past errors and a hopeful future.

you felt your heart soften at his words, the sincerity in his voice weaving its way into the very fabric of your being. "chris, it's not going to be easy," you said, your voice trembling like a fragile leaf in the wind. "there's a lot we need to work through," you continued, the enormity of the journey ahead casting a long shadow over your tentative hope.

"i know," he replied, his grip on your face tightening slightly, as if fearing you might slip away like sand through his fingers. "but i'm willing to do whatever it takes. i just need to know if there's a chance for us," he implored, his voice a fervent plea, echoing with the desperation of a soul seeking redemption.

you looked into his eyes, seeing the depth of his commitment and the flicker of hope that danced like a fragile flame. "maybe there is," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper, like the gentle rustling of leaves in the wind. "but we have to take it one step at a time," you continued, knowing that the path ahead would be a delicate balance of patience and perseverance.

a small, hopeful smile spread across chris's face, illuminating his features with a newfound light. "that's all i need," he said, his voice suffused with relief, like the first breath of spring after a long winter. "one step at a time, together," he continued, the words a solemn vow, promising a journey shared hand in hand.

without another word, he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss. it was a kiss that spoke of promises and new beginnings, a kiss that held the hope of a future woven together. as you kissed him back, you felt a sense of peace and certainty wash over you, like a gentle tide embracing the shore, knowing that this was the start of something profoundly beautiful.

[bloomyeu]

또 다시 밤 (twilight)

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: In the aftermath of a heartbreaking breakup, you navigate the haunting memories of your past relationship with Chan, struggling to find peace in a world that feels forever altered.

word count: 3k

warnings: angst, greif, mean!chan, rlly sad. based off of the song heh

a/n: first fic of changst!!!

series masterlist masterlist | requests

Sitting alone in your small apartment, the city’s hum outside barely reaches you through the dimly lit room. Shadows dance on the walls, casting an almost eerie glow that contrasts sharply with the emptiness you feel inside. This space, once vibrant with life and laughter, now feels like a hollow shell of what it used to be. Memories of Chan, your ex, haunt every corner of your mind, weaving through the fabric of your daily routine.

The apartment is a time capsule of happier days. Chan’s side of the bed remains untouched, a testament to the mornings that once began with shared smiles and sleepy conversations. His side of the closet is still lined with his clothes, a stark reminder of the warmth that used to fill the room. The spare toothbrush left in the bathroom drawer and his favorite shampoo still sitting untouched in the shower are small remnants of a life you once shared.

Your first encounter with Chan happened at the convenience store where you worked the late shift. It was always around 2 a.m. when he would come in, his routine a comforting ritual. He’d purchase the same pack of instant ramen, a simple yet endearing habit that quickly became a part of your nightly routine.

“You’re really making a habit out of this, aren’t you? Is there a secret recipe for that ramen you’re not telling me about?”

Chan flashed you a grin, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Maybe it’s the secret ingredient of sleep deprivation. It keeps me sane while working.”

You laughed, leaning against the counter. “You know, my mom always told me that eating too much ramen would give you cancer.”

Chan raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise. “Really? And here I thought ramen was the key to eternal youth. Guess I’ll have to rethink my diet.”

“Maybe you’re just immune,” you teased back, enjoying the easy banter.

“Of course, I am. I’m Superman, after all,” Chan joked, striking a playful pose that made you chuckle.

What began as casual exchanges soon evolved into something deeper. Those late-night encounters turned into long conversations, each one drawing you closer. Chan had a knack for turning the mundane into something magical. Your talks about dreams, aspirations, and even the quirks of daily life became the things you cherish most. The simple quiet moments with chan.

“You know, I used to think the stars were just there to look pretty. But now, I think they’re like tiny reminders of how we’re all connected. Like us.”

You looked at him, your heart swelling at his words. “That’s a way to think about it. I sometimes think that that the universe is playing matchmaker, bringing people together for a reason. Kinda like cupid ahaha”

Chan smiled warmly, reaching for your hand. “I’m glad the universe brought us together. Without you, I would probably be dead to my instant ramen fixation. You make every day brighter, even the darkest ones.”

Your relationship with Chan blossomed over shared moments and tender gestures. The nights spent under the stars, discussing dreams and promises, became the highlights of your time together. Chan’s charm and sincerity made every moment special, turning even the mundane into something extraordinary.

Your shared experiences—whether it was exploring new places, cooking meals together, or simply enjoying quiet evenings—deepened your connection. Chan’s laughter was a constant source of joy, and his presence became a comforting constant in your life.

Now, as you sit in the quiet of your apartment, surrounded by the remnants of those joyful days, the contrast between the past and the present is stark. The shadows on the walls, the untouched spaces, and the lingering traces of Chan’s presence are constant reminders of the love you once shared. The city’s hum outside is a distant murmur compared to the echoes of laughter and warmth that still linger in your heart.

As you look around the apartment, the memories of Chan come flooding back—each one a bittersweet reminder of the love that once filled this space. Despite the emptiness, you find solace in the cherished moments and the deep connection you once shared.

Chan was everything to you, your rock, your beacon of hope, your home. But that was before everything had changed.

—

The room is shrouded in an eerie quiet, the shadows of the night dancing on the walls as if mocking the emptiness that lingers. The once-vibrant space now feels like a mausoleum of lost love.

You remember the day everything shifted. Chan’s growing distance had become palpable, an invisible chasm widening between you. It started with small things—missed calls, unanswered texts, and fleeting moments of irritability. Each time you tried to address the growing gap, Chan’s responses were curt and dismissive.

The night the reality of the situation crashed down on you was unforgettable. Chan had come home late, and you were already waiting, your heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words. The tension in the room was suffocating, a prelude to the confrontation you had been dreading.

“Chan, we need to talk,” you said, your voice trembling as you attempted to mask the fear in your heart.

Chan’s face was a mask of exhaustion and frustration. “can it wait? I’m exhausted, i just wanna take a shower and sleep.”

You stepped closer, your voice trembling with a mix of desperation and hurt. “It’s not just about tonight. Its about everything, these past few weeks, the constant ‘I cant talk right now’ excuse, you not responding to my texts, my calls, standing me up multiple times. We’re drifting apart, and it feels like you’re just… slipping away. I’m trying to hold on, but it’s like I’m losing you every day. You aren't even trying”

Chan’s face twisted with anger, his frustration finally spilling over. “Holy Fuck. I’m so sick of your bullshit and your whining. I’m doing everything I can, and it’s never enough for you, is it? You don’t understand how hard I’m working, how much I’m trying to keep everything from falling apart. I have a job, a group to run, I constantly have to be producing, sorry I can't be your little puppy over here to take you out when you feel lonely.”

You recoiled from his harsh words, the sting of his anger cutting deep. “I’m not asking for the world, Chan. I just want to feel like you’re still here with me. Instead, it feels like I’m clinging to a memory of who we used to be.”

Chan’s eyes narrowed, his anger unabated. “Well, maybe if you stopped focusing on what I’m not doing, you’d see that I’m barely keeping it together. Maybe I’m just too exhausted to give you what you want right now!”

The hurt in your eyes was palpable, tears streaming down your face. “So what? You’re just going to give up on us because it’s too hard? I thought we were supposed to face these challenges together, not let them tear us apart.”

Chan’s expression was cold, his voice sharp. “I don’t see how we can fix this if you keep whining for my attention like a fucking dog. Maybe we’re just not meant to be together anymore. I’m done trying to make you understand something you clearly don’t want to. You obviously have an issue with my job and the hours im working, and Its like you want me to quit. You know I can't do that. Honestly i'm sick of you.”

You took a step back, the finality of his words sinking in. “Is this really how you want it to end? Just like that, without even trying to work things out?”

Chan’s face remained hardened, his anger leaving no room for remorse. “I don’t know what more you want from me. I’m at my limit, and I can’t keep pretending everything is fine when it’s not. Maybe we’re both better off apart.”

The tears continued to fall as you struggled to hold back your sobs. “I never wanted this. I wanted to fight for us, to find a way through this mess. But if you’re really done, then maybe this is the end.”

Chan’s silence was deafening, his anger making it clear he had nothing more to say. You took a shuddering breath, feeling the weight of the end pressing down on you. “Goodbye, Chan. I hope you find what you’re looking for, even if it’s not with me.”

As you turned to leave, Chan’s voice cut through the silence, harsh and unyielding. “Good riddance. Maybe this will be easier for both of us.”

You walked away, each step feeling like a heavy blow, the finality of the breakup echoing in the emptiness left behind.

—

The days following the breakup were a blur of desolation. Your grief was a constant companion, a heavy blanket that suffocates you with its weight. 

Meals that were once a joy to prepare and share now feel like a chore. 

You force yourself to eat, but the taste of food has become bland, unappealing. The mere act of eating feels like an intrusion on your sorrow. You find yourself staring at empty plates, unable to summon the appetite that once came so easily. The thought of food is a reminder of how much has changed, of how your life has shifted from one of shared experiences to solitary mourning.

Every corner of your apartment holds a piece of Chan, and it feels like you're living in a shrine to a lost love. You can’t escape the reminders of him—the way the sunlight filters through the blinds just like it used to when he was there, the lingering scent of his cologne that clings to the pillows, the echoes of his laughter that still seem to resonate in the empty space. Each detail is a bitter reminder of what once was, amplifying your sense of loss.

You feel like you're stuck in a time loop, unable to move forward or let go. The reality of Chan’s absence is overwhelming. You catch yourself reaching for your phone to text him, only to be met with the cold reality that he’s no longer there to reply. The reminders of him—his favorite songs, the TV shows you used to watch together—are painful triggers, causing a fresh wave of heartache every time you encounter them.

You miss him more than you thought possible. The emptiness is consuming, leaving you feeling hollow and disconnected from the world. You find yourself drifting through your days, each one a monotonous repetition of the last. The joy you once found in simple pleasures has been replaced by a pervasive sense of longing. You keep replaying moments from your relationship, trying to find some sense of closure or understanding, but all you find is more sorrow.

Despite your best efforts to move on, you feel trapped in the memory of what you once had. The past clings to you like a shadow, refusing to let go. Your attempts to engage with friends or distract yourself with activities only serve as temporary reprieves from the overwhelming sense of loss. The void left by Chan’s departure feels insurmountable, an emotional chasm that you can’t seem to cross.

Each day is a struggle to get out of bed, to face a world that feels alien and unwelcoming. You try to force yourself into a routine, but the energy to do so is lacking. The weight of the breakup is a constant presence, a reminder of the love you lost and the future you once envisioned together.

In the quiet moments, when the distractions of daily life fade away, the grief is most profound. You are left alone with your thoughts, drowning in the memories of happier times and the pain of their absence. The emotional void is both vast and intimate, a deep well of sadness that seems impossible to escape. The world continues to move around you, but you are stuck, trapped in a cycle of longing and regret, unable to move forward or let go.

—

As the days pass, you find yourself subconsciously drawn to activities and places that hold echoes of Chan. It's as if you’re searching for fragments of the past to piece together a semblance of the love that once defined your life. Each activity is both a source of solace and a trigger for the deep-seated sorrow you feel.

You take a walk through the park where you and Chan used to spend lazy Sunday afternoons. The park, once a backdrop for your shared laughter and quiet conversations, now feels eerily silent. The swings creak softly in the breeze, and you can almost hear Chan’s laughter as he pushed you gently. You sit on a bench, tracing patterns in the dirt with your shoe, as you remember how Chan used to playfully tease you about your attempts to draw perfect shapes. The memories come flooding back, sharp and bittersweet, mingling with the tears that you try to hold back.

Back at home, you find yourself scrolling through social media, a habit you had hoped to break. Chan’s presence is everywhere. His photos, tagged by friends and fans, are a constant reminder of what you’ve lost. You see him in candid shots, his radiant smile captured in moments you were once a part of. His posts about new projects and achievements are a painful juxtaposition to your current emotional state. Each notification feels like a stab to your heart, but you can’t bring yourself to unfollow or mute his updates. It’s as if seeing him, even from a distance, is a way to keep a part of him in your life, despite the growing void.

Your dreams are invaded by memories of Chan. At night, when you close your eyes, your mind transports you back to moments of intimacy and joy. You dream of nights spent under the stars, where Chan’s voice would soothe your fears and his presence would banish loneliness. In these dreams, everything is perfect again, and the pain of waking up is almost unbearable. You wake up with tears on your pillow, yearning for the comfort of those fleeting moments that seem so real and yet so unattainable.

You attempt to engage in activities that once brought you joy, hoping to reclaim some sense of normalcy. You bake cookies using the recipe Chan loved. The smell of vanilla and chocolate chips fills your kitchen, but instead of bringing comfort, it amplifies your sense of loss. You remember how Chan used to sneak into the kitchen for a taste before the cookies were even cool, and the kitchen now feels emptier without his playful presence. You bake the cookies anyway, each bite a bittersweet reminder of the past.

Even your favorite cafe, where you used to meet Chan for your morning fix, feels different. You sit in the same corner booth you used to frequent, clutching your coffee cup with a sense of nostalgia. The barista gives you a sympathetic smile, remembering the way Chan used to order his coffee just the way you liked it. The place holds echoes of conversations and laughter, now overshadowed by the silence of your solitude. You sip your coffee slowly, the warmth of the drink doing little to comfort the coldness in your heart.

You also start a journal, hoping to process your emotions through writing. The pages are filled with reflections on your relationship with Chan, capturing the highs and lows, the dreams you shared, and the gradual unraveling of your connection. You write about your regrets and your hopes for healing, pouring your heart out in a desperate attempt to make sense of the pain.

As you look through old photo albums, you find yourself overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. The photographs capture moments of genuine happiness, but they also serve as reminders of what you’ve lost. You trace the faces in the pictures with your fingers, each image a testament to the love that once brought you joy. The albums become both a treasure trove and a source of anguish, each turn of the page bringing a fresh wave of grief.

Your days and nights are a constant battle between holding on to memories and facing the reality of your separation. The memories of Chan are intertwined with every aspect of your life, making it difficult to escape the constant reminder of what once was. The process of reconnecting with these memories brings both comfort and pain, as you navigate through the lingering echoes of a love that now seems like a distant dream.

As you sit in the quiet of your apartment, the familiar ache of loss has transformed into a tender, enduring sadness. The once vibrant memories of Chan now feel like distant echoes, softened by time but never fully fading. The space around you, while gradually becoming more reflective of your own growth, still carries traces of what once was.

You find yourself gazing out of the window, lost in thought. The world outside continues to move with its usual rhythm, indifferent to the emotional upheaval within your walls. The city lights twinkle in the distance, a comforting yet distant reminder of the life that goes on beyond your small, personal world.

In the midst of this contemplation, a single, lingering wish takes shape in your heart. You close your eyes and allow yourself to dream of a future where paths might cross again. There’s no expectation, no plan—just a quiet hope that, somewhere down the line, life might offer a chance encounter or a moment of reconnection.

You imagine what it would be like to see Chan again, not as a desperate attempt to rekindle what was lost, but as a moment of acknowledgment of the shared past. Perhaps a brief conversation, a simple smile, or even just a nod of recognition—anything that might offer closure or understanding.

The thought of meeting Chan again brings a bittersweet smile to your face. You let the vision linger, holding onto the hope that time might bring unexpected reunions. As you turn away from the window, you carry with you a sense of peace, knowing that the future remains unwritten and full of possibilities.

With a final glance at the fading light outside, you softly whisper to the night

“Maybe someday.”

fin.

series masterlist masterlist | requests

[dollarbils]

wildflower | b.e.

billie eilish x fem!reader

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since the moment you’d met she’d felt drawn to you, more than someone should to their friend’s girlfriend. and in return, you could never shake the feeling you’d gone for the wrong girl.

“i love you.” the words hit you hard, in a place you’d rather keep reserved. you were flooding with emotions from the breakup, and her confession only strengthened the sinking feeling in your gut.

“billie, you can’t feel this way. not for me.” her heart broke, and so did yours. it was the first time you’d spoken the truth, after so long. so many lingering stares, so many unexplained pauses and touches that would last a second longer than they should. it had all built up to this moment. and now, it came crashing down.

“don’t tell me you don’t feel the same way.” she was deflecting from the true problem, finding different reasons for why you couldn’t be together in attempt to fix them. because what really kept you apart, couldn’t be avoided.

“of course i do, but you know why we can’t happen.” her hand was in yours, afraid to let go.

“i know we can’t, but it hurts. if only you’d met me first.” she spoke it as if it’d haunted her for the past few months. you felt at fault for breaking her heart, but it wasn’t right of you to pursue her. and it wasn’t right of her to pursue you.

“it’ll stay with you forever, you won’t be able to shake her from your mind.” putting it that way made her truly realise what a betrayal it would be.

“i know. we can’t cross that line.” those were the last words she spoke. the numbness settling in.

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Masterlist✨ A03

Hi! I’m Jamie and welcome to my blog! If you’d like updates for my work, my updates page is @mermaidgirl30-updates. I mostly write about Pedro Pascal characters. Always looking to converse about music, writing, video games, Pedro Pascal, really just anything ☺️ I am always open for requests and asks and will do my best to answer them 🩵 Dividers and Masterlist main pic by @saradika-graphics

~I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANYBODY USING MY STORIES OR REPOSTING THEM IN ANY AI OR ANY OTHER WEBSITE!~

✨One Shots/Drabbles✨

Always In My Heart: Losing a pet is never easy, but you’re not alone because Joel is right there with you, keeping you afloat.

Birthday Blues: Joel spends his birthday sulking on the porch, regretting the mistakes of his past. Just when he thinks he’ll spend his birthday alone, you come around and turn his cloudy skies into sunshine.

Caught In the Act: Thinking you’re home alone, you decide to unwind in bed, but the last thing you expect is to have Joel Miller, the man you’re renting a room from, find you naked in bed.

Clouded Skies Drabble

Comfort in His Arms: A little Drabble about enjoying the sunrise while you’re being comforted and held by Joel. Soft, gentle, warm. He’s your forever.

Crimson Ties: Joel was a creature of the night, a monster who begged to be released from his curse. He wasn’t a good man, didn’t think he deserved anything that shined light on his dark soul. But there was you, the girl he so desperately wanted to stick around, if only for one more night.

Dominate Me: dom! reader x sub! Joel. You dominate Joel in the bedroom, and he takes every demand you give him.

Fading Into Lilac Skies: You never meant to fall for your boyfriend’s dad, but it happened. You just couldn’t stay away from those shades of blue and grey. But your favorite thing was turning them the color your soul was. Lilac.

Fall Into the Dark With Me: You’ve had your eyes on the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor for a while. Just like he’s had his eyes on you. He’s a sly, sneaky, teasing Slytherin, and you’re a shy, meek Hufflepuff. Will your little flirting game suddenly lead to more once he gets you alone in a room?

Happy One Year, Baby: You forget your one year anniversary with Joel and don’t remember until you see a dozen roses with a love note left on your doorstep. Since he’s away on a work trip, you decide to get all dolled up to give him a little show over FaceTime

Haunt Me: Joel isn’t all that he seems. He might be dead, might be a ghost, might somehow just be trapped in a curse, but you find him. You always find him.

Her Bodyguard, His Shining Star: You’re performing at Coachella, throwing winks and flirting with your eyes as Joel Miller watches you from the side of the stage. He’s your bodyguard, and he should know better, but he wants you just as much as you want him.

I’ve Got You, Baby Girl: After suffering all day alone with cramps, Joel comes home from work to take care of you and gives you exactly what you need.

Jealousy, Jealousy: After having a bad breakup with Joel Miller, you decide you need a night to relax at the bar and find someone new. Little do you know, Joel is there and he’s not alone. Will you let your jealousy get the best of you or will you get revenge with another man at the bar?

Love and Coffee in the Mornings: This one's just a short fluffy/smutty one shot that's filled with morning love between Joel and reader.

My Heart I Surrender: Feelings and words never come easy to Joel, but they come out slowly and surely for you. So much angst coming off the pages on this story, and it's all in Joel's POV.

My Paper Heart Will Fold: Joel fights himself over his feelings for you, not wanting to admit they’re there. He finally comes to blatant terms that he can’t lose you. He can’t ever lose you. Not ever.

My, My, Such a Sweet Surprise: When you stumble upon a cute little property with a farmer’s market, you get more than you bargain for when you meet the man with honeysuckle eyes and a thick Southern drawl that makes you weak in the knees.

On My Knees for You: You’re supposed to be getting ready for a Halloween party, but maybe you’ll just have to be late because all you can think about is getting on your knees and making Joel Miller feel so good.

Pulled by the Scarlet Reins: In the hate filled town of Salem, no one is safe. With accusations flying daily, no one is spared from speculation. When the blame is pointed at you, who will be there to defend you?

Run Rabbit: At the beginning of every month, you meet Joel to play a little game of hide and seek at the abandoned mansion near Jackson. It’s not just any game of hide and seek though. It’s dark and it’s twisted. If he catches you, he gets to do whatever he wants with you.

Show Some Self Control: It's your birthday, and Joel can't deny you from wanting to explore being with another woman, so he indulges. He sits and watches, but he can't hold back for long. Not with the way your body is writhing against the damp sheets.

Soft: Just a little Drabble about Joel being in love. So very soft.

Stay in the Light: Joel gets injured after a raider attack, and he’s wishing he could’ve told you all the feelings he held back from you for so long

Take Me to Wonderland: You find yourself in Wonderland, but you think you’ve been here before. And the handsome stranger, Joel Miller, is someone that definitely seems familiar.

Teach Me a Lesson, Mr. Miller: Tonight, you planned for beer, loud music, and sloppy sex with one of your hot college classmates. Instead, you get your best friend’s dad putting you in your place.

Tongue Tied: Your dad’s best friend, Joel Miller, finds you in the kitchen eating some cherries. For your birthday, he gives you something that’ll make you a little tongue tied.

Welcome to the Moulin Rouge: Welcome to the Moulin Rouge where touches and gazing eyes turn to feelings and longing that overpower all senses. That’s where Joel meets you, the girl of all his desires. The girl that starts a fire inside him that he can’t control. But he’s not the only one after her. No. And he’ll have to share even though it destroys him.

✨Series✨

Can You Please Be Mine?: (Ongoing multiple part series)

No Outbreak!Joel x fem! reader

It’s a hot summer’s day in Austin, and you’re cooling off by having a cold ice cream cone while riding the carousel at the fair. You see a handsome, older man that you think is just the hottest man you’ve ever seen, and you just wonder what it’d be like if he took you home with him.

Captured in the Woods:

(Ongoing multiple part series)

Joel Miller x fem! reader

Joel books a nice secluded Airbnb cabin out in the middle of Southwest Texas to get a little alone time with you for a weekend. Little do you know, you’re not alone. You’re being stalked by a deranged family, and you’re going to have to fight your way to make it out alive.

Crimson Tango: A Dance of Diamonds and Revenge: (Ongoing multiple part series)

Moulin Rouge Joel x fem! reader

Joel Miller doesn’t know what awaits him as he takes on a maintenance job at the Moulin Rouge. He doesn’t know he’ll meet the absolute love of his life, the Sparkling Diamond, as his world comes crashing down around him fast. Will he be able to stay away when he’s warned not to touch the dancers? Will he listen or will he challenge that pull that draws him to the one thing that sets his soul on fire?

Daddy’s Best Friend, Mr. Miller: (Ongoing multiple part series)

dbf! Joel x fem! reader

After going out with your classmate from graduate school, Mr. Miller doesn’t take so kindly to your date when he sees you out and about with the college jock. Will the older, attractive man you’ve been pining after for years finally give you what you’ve been wanting for so long? The only problem is that he’s your dad’s best friend.

Dancing With Fire: (Ongoing multiple part series)

maintenance man! Joel x ballet dancer fem! reader

You’re starring in the ballet Swan Lake, taking on the lead role in New York at a huge theater. You practice day and night and are always staying after hours. One day you notice the hot maintenance worker, Joel, and you can’t seem to keep your eyes off him. Lucky for you, he can’t keep his eyes off you either.

Dark Shades of Innocence Lost: (Completed)

pleasure dom! Joel x fem/sub! reader

After your friends drag you out to Club Inferno on a Friday night, you meet an unexpected man with dark brown eyes. That man is Joel Miller, who turns out to be the owner of the club. The menace that will turn your life upside down. After not dating for a couple of years, Joel finds out and strikes up a proposition for you. Keep coming back and he’ll make sure you experience pleasure like you’ve never felt before.

Deep Blue: (Ongoing multiple part series)

Diver! Joel Miller x marine biologist! FOC

Swimming with great white sharks was always on your bucket list. Now that you’ve graduated with your master’s degree in marine biology, that’s the only thing you want to do. Luckily your friend, Jenna, pulls some strings and gets you on a private shark diving tour. What she didn’t tell you was that your diving guide, Joel Miller, was going to be ridiculously hot. Will you survive the dive or will you end up falling for the man of your dreams?

Destined Hearts: (Ongoing multiple part series)

Joel Miller x fem! reader

After a messy break up with Joel, the two of you cross paths again unexpectedly at the lake. Everything seems to fall back into place, and you slowly start to fall back in love with him. Maybe he just might be your forever.

Enchant Me: (Ongoing multiple part series)

soft! Joel x witchy garden fem! reader

Joel delivers a custom built table to a little house out in the middle of the woods, but he doesn’t realize he’s going to fall for the girl behind the doors of that small purple house. He falls head over heels for her special herbal tea, tarot card readings, and talks of nature and plants as he keeps going back to see her.

Her Bodyguard, His Shining Star: (Ongoing multiple part series)

Bodyguard! Joel Miller x singer fem! reader

Joel’s your broad, handsome bodyguard that you flirt with and secretly dream about. Little do you know, he can’t seem to keep his eyes or his hands off you for long. The two of you should know better, but after Coachella it’s so obvious that you can’t stay away from one another. Could he be your end game?

Just Breathe: The Dinosaur Diaries: (Ongoing multiple part series)

paleontologist! Joel x fem researcher! reader

After going under the wings of doctor Miller, the hottest paleontologist you’ve ever seen, he takes you on a little adventure as his research assistant. You’ll get more than just knowledge and dinosaurs, you’ll also end up getting the sweet scientist who can’t seem to keep his hands off you.

Look for the Light: (Completed)

outbreak! Joel x fem! reader

Aly finds herself trying to escape the Boston QZ. What Aly doesn’t know is Tess is pairing her up with Joel to go on a dangerous mission to find Tommy. Will Aly survive the brooding, moody Joel or will she find herself falling hard for him?

Love Amidst the Blue: (Ongoing multiple part series)

sailor! Joel x mermaid fem! reader

Joel sets out on the Tyrrhenian Sea with his crew in search for hidden treasure. What he doesn’t know is that he’ll meet a beautiful mermaid that will turn his world upside down. Will he win her over or will he introduce a long ago foe to the mermaids of the hidden underwater city of Capri?

Royalty Clad in Silver Armor: (Ongoing multiple part series)

knight! Joel x princess fem! reader

You’re the royal princess of Ireland and your parents are hounding you to find a suitable man to marry. Joel gets placed as your protector (knight in shining armor) and swears an oath to put your life before his own. But after meeting him for the first time, you don’t want to leave him alone. In fact, you can’t help but to pine after him, even though he is off limits to you.

Saddle Me Up, Cowboy: (Ongoing Mini Series)

Cowboy! Joel Miller x fem! reader

One night at the country western bar was all it took for you to fall head over heels for the sweet cowboy that swept you off your feet. Little did you know, he may be what you’ve been after your entire life.

Saving What Was Lost: (Ongoing multiple part series)

You never expected to get auctioned off in a room full of filthy rich, vile men after being taken over a year ago, but it happened. And the man that buys you, the one with soft brown eyes, just might’ve saved your life. He doesn’t want to hurt you. No. He wants to show you what it’s like to fall back in love with life.

Slip Into Me: (Completed)

QZ! Joel x fem! reader

After getting caught by a FEDRA soldier in the QZ, a certain broad smuggler comes to your rescue. He’s not at all what you expect. He’s reserved, intense, and intimidating. But you soon find out he’s not all brick walls and harsh words like you thought. You just might be the one that tears down his walls and helps him see the light again in a torn up, infected world.

Somersaults and Stealing Hearts: (Ongoing multiple part series)

Coach! Joel Miller x gymnast fem! OFC

Being a competitive gymnast at UT Austin is nothing short of hard work and dedication, but winning Nationals is all I’ve ever wanted, so I stick out the long, grueling practices. When my favorite coach leaves for another job, just when I need her most, another coach has to fill in. And that coach ends up being Joel Miller. The tall, handsome man with pretty brown eyes that I just can’t seem to keep my eyes off. I won’t let an attractive man get me distracted from what I want, but what if I end up wanting him too?

Tear You Apart: (Completed)

Outbreak! Joel x fem! reader

Joel comes for you late at night. He always does. Always stalks, chases, and prowls after you like a starving wolf. And when he catches you, he devours you, feeds on you like the animal he is. Will you run and hide or will you give into the temptation that calls you into the forest?

✨One Shots✨

Guiding Light: You watch Marcus avenge himself week after week in the pit of the arena, but how much longer will it take to make you snap? How much longer can you go on watching when he’s the only man you want?

✨One Shots✨

Javi’s Playground: Javi decides to blow off some steam at the strip club, but he doesn’t intend to attempt to take one of the dancers home with him.

✨Moodboards✨

Colors 💜

Infra-Red ❤️

[thelightsandtheroses]

6. baby, if your love is in trouble

Frankie Morales x female reader | let's get lost chapter 6

Summary: You and Frankie aren’t together anymore but you’re in a good place. However, spending a week together for your mutual friends’ wedding on a luxury resort might challenge that slightly and realising you’re still in love with your ex is a sure-fire recipe for disaster … Tropes: it was always you, getting back with the ex, beach!Frankie (you know *that* photoshoot) miscommunication, only one bed, good parent Frankie Chapter Warnings: 18+ MDNI, mentions of alcohol, some difficult conversations and some kissing(you’ll have to keep reading to know which order that is), allusions to TF canon events, brief discussions or references to addiction recovery, lolabee typical flangst. Word Count: 4.4k Notes: The next chapter is the last full one (there may be an epilogue) so we are very close to the end now. Thank you so much for all your patience and love with this fic, I cannot tell you how much it means to me. Also this chapter is dedicated to @undercoverpena because her art for this fic (and our chat about it afterwards) really reminded me why I love this fic and helped get me out of a little block I had, even if she made me cry (in a good way, honest) - ily jo!

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Time is strange on vacation. The time leading up to it drags, every second feels like an hour, every hour feels like a day. It’s exhausting and draining which only makes you need the break more. Time seems to pass normally - well, almost normally - at the start of a vacation. It's usually somewhere around day two, when the post travel fatigue finally abates, that time changes again. It goes too fast, so just as you finally start to feel relaxed, it’s almost over.

You know the end is coming. Soon Benny and Lia’s wedding will be over, soon you’ll be on a flight home and then you and Frankie will go your separate ways. Back to an empty house that’s haunted by what could have been, to a job that you don’t know if you love, to a life you feel like is existence when it could be so much more.

You don’t want to leave here, not when you and Frankie feel so unresolved.

There are memories of the day before in every inch of this hotel room. The bed that Frankie took you apart so expertly on, the bathroom counter he kissed you against in a way that makes kissing feel like a small world. You remember it was good before, but not like that.

Love.

You still love Frankie. It’s not an easy epiphany; it’s messy and painful and raw. That’s love though. It’s a dangerous yet fragile emotion.

You love Frankie. Did you ever truly stop? When you hated him, when you were furious and your relationship was nothing but scorched earth, it was always more from heartbreak than hatred.

There’s part of you that wants to scream triumphantly, to run into his arms and declare it to the world. It wants to live in this vacation bubble fantasy forever.

You’re a parent though and Clara changes everything. You both need her to have stability in her world, to be able to have her parents as a strong foundation. You’re sensible and scarred and oh so reliable now.

Love isn’t pragmatic, it’s wild.

This morning you questioned if it was enough, if the love could be enough between the two of you to repair those wounds and fill between the holes of your breakup, of Will’s wedding, of the lost trust and bitterness on every side.

“You look serious,” Lia says, a nervous expression covering her face as she sips her drink.

You blink, shaking your head like it can shake away the gremlins in your mind. “Sorry, I was a million miles away.”

The sun warms your skin as you look out at the bright blue around you. Sparking, azure contrasts with the bright white of the catamaran. There’s music playing softly by the bar, light chatter around you and a sense of peacefulness.

“How are you feeling? Are you ready for tomorrow?” you ask, focusing on Lia - definitely not Frankie.

No, you’re definitely not paying attention to Frankie who is just in your eyeline and is wearing a suitably loud shirt that’s completely unbuttoned, allowing a peek of his tanned skin, the faint hints of hair below his navel racing down to -

You jolt at the sudden reminder of what you were doing just a couple of hours ago. The feeling of his skin against yours, the weight of his body that was so welcome. He looks relaxed though, a bottle of soda in his hand, head tilted back as he laughs.

Is it just you who’s panicking? No, no, you don’t think it is. You notice how he looks away just for a moment, the way his free hand is tapping against his leg nervously, the feeling that if you look away maybe he’ll steal a glance at you too.

You hear your name and look back at Lia, even more guilt rising. This, this is exactly what you wanted to avoid.

“Did you and Frankie have an argument?”

“What?”

“Well, you seem out of it and I caught you looking at him just now and … I thought things were better?” You hear the unspoken words ‘please don’t ruin this, please don’t ruin my wedding too’.

“We’re fine,” you say, “Good. It’s all good.”

“I know it must be awkward sharing with him, but you’ve nearly made it through the whole break!”

“Honestly, Lia, we’re fine. Good. Yeah, it’s not a thing.”

“I just - I’m very intuitive, I can feel tension when you two look at each other.” It’s the other type of tension, you think. The type of tension when just a few hours ago he was inside of you, where he was tracing kisses along your jawline. It’s the type of tension that only happens when after that you panic and make everything worse.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Frankie and I are -”

“Fine?” Lia squeezes your arm. “Just, just don’t let it fester.”

You want to tell her everything, you desperately crave her advice. You want to sip a cocktail and giggle with her about what happened, have her console your panic. This vacation isn’t about you though. It’s for her, for her and Benny. So your anxieties and secrets will have to fester, it’s the only way.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Nothing … relax Santi.”

“I’m not fucking relaxed when …” Santi says something you can’t hear. You shift nervously, aware that you’ve walked into something you shouldn’t be hearing. You just needed a break for a moment and you had no idea they were here though. You just wanted to get another drink.

“I was there, I remember.”

“Just, she’s not gonna ….” You need to get closer so you can hear more.

You edge just a little closer, feeling the condensation around the soda bottle as you lean just a little more so you can make out their words. You feel guilty but it’s a chance to finally understand where Frankie is in all this, especially after what’s happened today. It’s probably wrong to admit, but this feels like a litmus test of where this all could possibly end up, if there really is hope.

“She’s the mother of my child, Santi, she’s the person I love.” Frankie is so firm, so quietly assertive and matter of fact about this it takes your breath away.

He loves you. He still loves you and for the first time, maybe it does feel like enough. The warmth surges through your body and you smile to yourself.

“Love?” Santi spits. “After Will’s wedding? After that breakup? You might forget it was my sofa you crashed on, but I saw it all, Frankie.” And there’s the reality crush you were waiting for.

“I was high, I was high and it was a shit night for everyone and I’m sorry about that. It’s the past though. You’ve all gotta stop talking about it, stop waiting for her to react. It’s not right, Santi, not for her and not for me.”

“It’s not you, it’s-”

“She’s on eggshells, and so am I. We’re so scared of being the ones who wreck another - you have no idea what’s in her head. The pressure -” You watch how Frankie runs a hand through his hair, how he leans against the wall of the cabin.

He gets it, you think, he actually understands what’s happening for you and how you feel.

“Must be a lot for you.”

“Not just me, like I said.”

“Okay, I hear you.”

“Good.”

“You know, the way you’re being, it’s like you’re …” Santi pauses and looks at Frankie seriously “Frankie, oh shit. Oh shit. You two fucked?”

You freeze - how has Santi worked it out? Will everyone else now? The tension twists your stomach into knots. Is it that obvious?

“Don’t, Santi.”

“I warned you, I freaking told you that sharing a room was a bad idea.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever..”

“So, what now? Are you getting back together?”

“I don’t know. It’s not just up to me, right? It’s not that simple. Besides, it only happened today - it’s not been, we haven’t even had a chance to figure it out yet.“

“Oh, you slut, Frankie,” Santi teases affectionately. “So, I don’t even know what to say, bro. But you say you love her; she looks at you like … I don’t know. Sounds like you’re overcomplicating it. Isn’t it that simple?”

“There’s Clara - I can’t bring her down, bro, I just can’t be that fucking guy.” You watch as Frankie wipes his eyes roughly and wish you were closer to him so you could squeeze his arm and reassure him. You hadn’t realised he was worried about the same thing as you.

You hear your name being called and immediately cringe as Frankie looks around, a slightly startled expression on his face. Santi doesn’t say anything but he squeezes Frankie’s shoulders as he walks away.

He sees you standing there and just shakes his head a little - it’s not angry, it’s almost affectionate in fact. “You two are gonna be the fucking death of me, I swear,” he says in a whisper.

You don’t reply, you just wait because you know Frankie’s going to find you in a moment..

“How much of that did you hear?” Frankie asks when he spots you. He runs one hand in his hair and leans slightly against the door jamb. His eyes are downcast, avoiding you and you want to see them, to know what he’s thinking.

“Nothing.” It’s a terrible lie, the sort of tone Clara uses when she sneaks cookies or candy.

He says your name, draws it out teasingly as he cups your face to meet his eyes. He’s so warm, radiating body heat and ease. Comfort. It’s a pleasant warmth that eases your knotted stomach.

“I may have heard something about you being a slut,” you tease,” “And that maybe you’re worried about messing it all up too.”

“You didn’t know that?”

“I have been having my own existential crisis if you hadn’t noticed!”

“Yeah, your brain whirs pretty loud when those happen.”

“I’m always whirring,” you say.

He pulls you closer, one hand resting casually on your hip and he’s close enough you can smell the sea-salt on his skin, the slight ghost of his cologne and suncream too. You look at the hand on your skin, follow every detail of it up until you meet you his eyes. You catalogue every detail on the way; a mix of freckles, sun-stained skin and muscle, the stubble that just hours ago was on you, memories of it against your thighs intrude your soliloquy.

”I - I didn’t mean to make things awkward with you and Santi. I didn’t realise he … he had such a problem, with us, I mean. With me.”

“He doesn’t. Not really,” Frankie says softly, “How would Lia initially react? Santi is the one I went to after we broke up and maybe - maybe it’s hard for him to look at some of the triggers for back then. It’s not an excuse, I was - you know I relapsed before Clara, but it wasn’t bad then, it wasn’t as bad. It was just a few times and I was in meetings and dealing with it and then - then well, you remember what happened.”

“Oh.” You remember Frankie’s ashen face when he returned from Colombia. You’d been furious with him - exhausted from sleepless nights with Clara and an aching, terrifying fear that you were going about your life when Frankie was lying dead somewhere. It had been a catalyst for your relationships end, of course, but what it really did was light a spark for Frankie’s addiction. You wondered for a long time if Frankie ever came back to you or if he’d died like Tom, just in a less invisible way.

He’s back now though. He’s here.

He’s here.

You lean into him, kissing him lightly on the lips. A confirmation of the moment, of the feeling between the two of you. A reminder that you’re here too.

“I love you too,” you whisper.

“You heard that? I - if you want the truth, I never stopped. I’m not sure I could ever stop being in love with you,” Frankie admits.

“I’m scared of this, of what happens if it goes wrong again.”

“Then at least we tried, right? At least we know, because this limbo isn’t right either, baby. I think - I think we can do it this time. I’m clean and I don’t want to go to back, not when it risks Clara, not when it risks you. I don’t like the me back then.”

“I definitely got a lot wrong too.”

“We’ve got this.”

Frankie pulls you tightly against him, one hand entwined in yours as meets your lips again briefly.

“You and me?” you say, more as a question than a statement.

“You and me,” he repeats.

“We tell them after the wedding, we’re not taking over another wedding, Frankie.”

“That works for me.”

He kisses you again, deepening the kiss, as the two of you pour all the words you want to say but that get stuck in your throat into this moment. He spins you against the wall of the boat, moves his hand down from your shoulder to your chest, to the edge of your swimsuit and although he’s barely touching you, it immediately sends heat and shivers to your stomach. Frankie’s always had an effect on you, always been able to tease those sounds and crescendos of pleasure that seemed so far away before.

There’s something about his smile when he notices the effect he has on you. The hint of surprise in his eyes combine with a steely confidence, a slight cockiness that he is the one causing this, that you’re responding to him.

He moans into your mouth as you pull him closer against you yet, wanting to move somewhere else, somewhere you can be alone.

You stumble slightly and Frankie grabs your arm, places the other on the wall to steady yourselves. A tangle of limbs and the two of you smile. His phone falls out of his pocket, the sound echoing around you.

“Shit,” he says quietly.

You both spring apart and look around nervously. Close, so close. You wait for the voices, for one of your friends to call you or worse, to come over.

“We should -”

“Yeah, yeah. Uh - we should.”

You lean back against the wall and shut your eyes, willing your heart rate to slow down, letting the adrenaline burn off.

She’s the person I love.

Maybe, just maybe you were wrong earlier. Perhaps love is enough.

The rehearsal dinner is an informal affair. Lia and Benny deliberately opted for an earlier dinner time so that Clara could be part of it and have already said they’re eschewing as much of the formality for the rehearsal as they can.

It’s considerate and thoughtful and you’re so glad you’ve been able to make this wedding trip work as a family vacation too.

Of course, in practice, scheduling the dinner for just a couple of hours after getting back from the boat trip is far more stressful than they may have anticipated. Especially with a toddler.

“I wanted to stay in kids club,” she cries to Frankie, face screwed up with tears and arms folded.

“I know, baby, but you’ll get to go after the wedding.”

“Tomorrow?”

“No, tomorrow’s Uncle Benny and Aunt Lia’s wedding.”

“This isn’t fair,” she cries, “we were making puppets!”

Frankie looks up at you helplessly. You’re half-dressed, your dress unzipped and no-makeup yet, your hair still damp from the shower.

“Clara, we need to get ready for dinner now,” he says steadily.

“Daddy’s right, Clara, it’s time.”

“No.”

“Clara,” Frankie says, a hint of firmness slowly coming through in his voice. He looks exhausted but he’s meeting your daughter’s eyes, trying to gently assert that she needs to get moving. “It’s time to get ready now. You will get to go to the kids’ club again, but not right now. Now, we’re going to dinner and when we get back, you can watch one episode of your show before bed, okay?”

”Okay.” Clara had clearly forgotten she’d already negotiated that episode of her show earlier in the morning.

Frankie smiles at you as Clara toddles over to you, ready to comply.

“Need a hand?” he asks, pointing at the zip.

“Sure.”

Your eyes watch Clara carefully choosing between two pairs of shoes as Frankie comes up behind you, touches the back of your shoulder before he glides the zip up and gently kisses the side of your neck.

“Frankie.”

“She’s not looking,” he says in a low voice, “and that fucking dress always destroys me.”

You smile, “I know.”

“Why, are you planning to seduce me?”

”Maybe, haven’t decided yet. Play your cards right and perhaps you’ll see….”

Frankie laughs, low and with genuine happiness. He claps his hands together lightly as he moves over to Clara.

”C’mon, princesa, let’s get this show on the road.”

The dinner was a success and now everyone is milling around the bar, enjoying the sunset and each fleeting moment of this vacation.

Clara's on Frankie's hip as he talks to Will and Benny, one of his arms on Benny's shoulder as they all laugh.

You could get used to this again.

You're still at the table, having spent most of the dinner talking with Lia who is now working the rest of the party.

You take a sip of the dregs of your drink and shut your eyes, letting the moment sink in.

There's the sound of a chair being pulled next to you.

You open your eyes to see Sophie sititng next to you. She's wearing a stunning dress that seems to match the sunset and her makeup is immaculate as ever. You don't feel self conscious though, don't feel the usually creeping doubts rising.

You feel a little different actually. Maybe it's relaxing, maybe it's the vacation, maybe it's hope.

Sophie looks at you carefully and lowers her wine glass. “I know you are a good friend to Lia and that you care about Benny.”

“Of course.”

She leans closer to you, a subtle hint of alcohol and fruity cocktails radiating around her. “I also know that despite what you say, you and Frankie - you aren’t over. You still want to be with him. Everyone knows he’s not over you. I’ve seen your face this week.”

“What are you saying Soph?”

“If you two want to figure things out, to see if there’s something still there, then you guys do that. You’re both adults.”

“I’m sensing a but here.”

“I love you both. I do. It’s just you and Frankie are like storms. You’re beautiful and powerful and sometimes a little inspiring too. You endure and you survive, but you leave wreckage in your wake. Wreckage and destruction no-one wants on their wedding day. Trust me. I lived it with you that day.”

You burn with shame as her words land. The memories of Sophie and Will’s wedding feel like an albatross around your neck, something that can never be forgotten or erased.

You’re sick of it - it makes you think your friends will never truly support you and Frankie reconciling, despite Sophia’s words. If they’ll always be watching, guarded and waiting for the chaos or storm, then how can you and Frankie ever relax.

“What are you saying?” you ask in a low voice.

“I’m saying that this is Benny and Lia’s moment. I’m saying that I can’t - I can’t sit by and watch them go through what I - what we … you know what I’m saying. Not while you and Frankie are in a vacation bubble that isn’t - it isn’t real,”

“Things are different. We’re both different. Frankie’s clean now too.”

“I know, and I can’t pretend I know how it felt for you that day, or the ones that led up to it. I know you’ve been through a lot too. I just - Benny’s like my little brother and I know Will can’t say this to you, but we’re all worried. So, I’m going to be the bad guy, but it’s out of love, I promise. I promise. I love you both so much, and I love Benny and Lia too.”

“It wouldn’t be like that. It wouldn’t - that was a - we hit rock bottom, but it wouldn’t happen again.”

“You can’t know that,” Sophie says simply, “So I am begging you, please don’t pull us all back into that storm. Think of Clara.”

The final punch meets its target.

You feel deflated, completely and utterly deflated. You avert your gaze to the paved stones beneath your feet, blink back tears.

In a way, Sophie’s right. You can never know it won’t happen again, that’s love though, right? You have known for years that they saw you and Frankie’s demise as wreckage they were pulled into, that you two became the problem friends as you both lashed out after the breakup, trying to retain control of the uncontrollable in the only way you knew how. You knew this deep down.

It hurts though. It is agonising to realise that every one of your anxieties and fears here was correct, that your friends still treat you with kid gloves, that you and Frankie will always be the problem couple. Even if you get back together, even if it’s perfect, everyone will be waiting for the storm to hit.

“Oh no, I’ve overstepped, I’m sorry. I - I - I’ve drunk too much. Ignore me. Wine makes me funky,” Sophie says, looking panicked.

If it’s a fight, if love is truly a battle, then you need people in your corner. You need to know that the people you love are rooting for you as well, that there is a support network. You require someone to encourage the two of you as things get tough, as you do battle against your anxieties, Frankie’s demons and anything else life throws at you and to know they won’t judge either of you.

It’s clear now that your friends are not in your corner though. Instead, they view you and Frankie as adversaries, not allies, and they’re always waiting cautiously for the next round of hits to land.

How do you try again if no one else really wants you to? If they all think the worst?

You ruined Sophie’s wedding. What on earth makes you think you deserve a happy ending with Frankie after that?

You needed Sophi’s buy-in, you needed her support. You hadn’t realised that until now, but it’s clear. You knew it the moment Sophie started speaking to you. There’s an anxious and scared version of you that requires your friends’ validation, their support that trying all over again is a good thing, that it won’t fuck up your daughter, or your friendships all over again.

Without this, you’re at sea without a buoy, without a lighthouse. You’re floundering in the dark in a lifejacket and rapidly realising hope alone won’t get you to land.

“I need to go,” you say, brushing Sophie’s hand of your arm and heading down towards the beach.

You walk across the sand nervously. You’re hoping the sea will have answers, will calm you down. The sound of waves lapping in and out is like someone soothing you, saying it’s going to be okay.

You sit down rest your head against your knees. You just need a minute, to let it out.

So you do, you finally let yourself break.

Several minutes later, you hear footsteps behind you and a concerned voice saying your name,

You look over to see Frankie. His top three buttons are unbuttoned and his brow is furrowed as he takes in your general demeanour.

“Where’s Clara?” you sniffle.

“Lia’s taking her back to our room, and we’ll meet her there. She also said she needs an early night with the wedding tomorrow. Hey, hey what’s - what’s wrong?”

“I think we’ve made a terrible mistake, Frankie, I’m so sorry,” you manage to say before you burst into tears. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

Frankie pales, sinking next to you. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think any of our friends want us to get back together - how can they all be wrong?”

“Santi isn’t all our friends. I told you he’s projecting his own shit.”

“It’s not just Santi!”

“Who said something? What the fuck did they say? This is our relationship, okay? It’s not theirs. They don’t have a say.”

“When we ruined their wedding, they do.”

“So, it’s Will or Sophie. What did they say? I’m going to fucking -”

“And storm into the rehearsal dinner and prove their point, yell at Sophie? Cause a scene and have tonight go down as yet another of our disasters?”

“You’re crying. Sophie had no right to -”

“I’ve had wine, it’s fine. It’s just hot and I’m worried about going home and - I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

“It’s a reality check. I hadn’t realised. I thought they’d be happy for us, but perhaps they can’t be.”

“They’ll see,” he says desperately, “we’ll show them it’s real. That it’s different this time.”

“Frankie, I need to know, what happens when we go back?” you ask.

He sits down beside you and takes your hand. “I want to say something smooth, talk you through how I’m going to woo you, and I am going to woo you, tell you that it’s all going to be great.”

“Good start.”

“I can’t promise that though, not right now. Not knowing what you’ve just said. I want to think our friends will be happy for us, but they might not be. Or they might be cautious. It’s us though, it’s you and me. I know that this vacation has reminded me of how much I lost, how much I want every day back with you and Clara.”

“If our friends aren’t supporting us, how do we even carry on? What do we do? Do we cut everyone we love -”

“No.”

“So what then, Frankie?” You barely recognise your voice between your sobs and the way it’s so shrill, so desperate. You had finally made peace with your decision, finally thought that maybe this was all going to be okay. That there was a future outside of this vacation bubble.

Frankie is silent for a moment. You feel how he’s rubbing your back, soothing you as you purge your emotions.

“You forgave me, right?” he says softly after a moment.

“What?”

“For the relapse, for the mess I put us all through, for not talking to you. It took time, it took months, but you did, right?”

You nod.

“Maybe it’s like that for them. And if it’s not, we’ll show ‘em either way. I just - I’ve only just got you back. Please, don’t go anywhere yet. We won’t tell them, not until we’re home, until we’re sure. That way it can’t affect us, can’t bring us down when we’re trying. Don’t give up on us because of Sophie’s drunken idiocy. Please.” He pulls you tighter to him, one arm wrapped around and the other hand reaching to wipe away tears on the side closest to him. His hands are warm, radiating comfort and peace as you feel so adrift.

Maybe he’s the rock, maybe he’s the buoy. Perhaps that is what you are to each other as well?

You laugh, an ugly half-sobbing sound. “Okay, okay, I won’t. I promise.”

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[fandomsandflyingstingrays]

The season is kind of a blur for me at the moment, and I'm sure I'll have a lot more to talk about as I rewatch it more slowly and with less hysteria, but here are my current overall thoughts! Under the cut for spoilers

Beginning with the things I liked, because there were many of them:

The voice acting was phenomenal. Everything with Claudia? Soren's tirade at Viren? Every single speech of Janai's? Top tier. I've rarely been moved by a performance as much as I was this season

Additionally: the music was on another level, especially in the final episodes. It made already-breathtaking scenes absolutely haunting, and I'm praying they do another soundtrack release soon

I adored everything about the janaya wedding. Their outfits were so good, their expressions were so full of love, and their speeches were absolutely adorable. I also loved Kasi and Gren as officiants, Gren's little "what are they going to do? Come with an army?" joke made me cackle. (Also: hearing "and her wife, Queen Amaya" made me cheer so loudly my throat still hurts a day later)

I've been a passive sorvus shipper since season 4, but episode 2 ratcheted that up about ten levels. Every one of their interactions was so good, I love how they have the stoic/silly dynamic but also establish that Soren understands Corvus's sense of duty and Corvus has just as much of a ridiculous streak as Soren. They have to get together next season, please please please

Rayla and Callum! Back together at last!! And we have (hopefully) a full season of them being together to look forward to after this. It was really nice to see them fully on the same page at last, and the mix of ease and nervousness in their affection felt really cute and authentic

Speaking of things I've been waiting for forever: RUNAAN IS FINALLY FREE. I'm so happy that plotline was finally resolved, and I'm very intrigued about where he's going to go from here in regards to his relationships with Ethari, Rayla, and Callum. I really like that they addressed how he treated Rayla during their last encounter and established how deeply he regrets it

In general, I really liked how many loose ends we came back to this season. It was great to get the whole story of Viren, Lissa, Soren, and Kpp'Ar, especially for people who haven't read the comics or novelizations. I was thrilled to see Aanya again and loved her prowess in battle and her friendship with Ezran

I love that Claudia's hair actually looks like it got cut by a knife. No magically even cut for her. Somehow she really pulls it off, though, so good for her

Things I wasn't as much of a fan of:

I wish we had gotten to see Callum and Rayla actually talk the whole leaving-for-two-years thing out. Callum seems to think he was in the wrong for giving Rayla the cold shoulder when she first came back, but in my eyes he did have a right to be upset, and I wish they would acknowledge that. I was thrilled when they got back together, but I think it would have landed a little better for me if I felt like their "breakup" had been fully resolved

Has Sol Regem's mate ever been brought up before? It felt like a weird thing to pull up in the middle of the climax. His scene with Aaravos was written and presented very powerfully, but I didn't really feel the impact of it because I was busy going "where did this come from?"

And finally, this is really just a nitpick, but if you wear a blindfold for your entire life, you will not be able to suddenly see when you take it off because your brain doesn't know how to translate the shapes and light around you into cognitive images. I know I can suspend my disbelief, it just kind of bugged me

Overall, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and I think it was the most completely engrossed by a season so far. I'm begging and pleading for season 7 to be released sooner rather than later, because I need more and I need it now

[crepesuzette2023]

I know this is a broad question, but if you had to pick, what is the most angsty Mclennon fic you’ve read so far ? You have some amazing recommendations and I’m looking to hurt my own feelings lol

Hi st-john!

Thank you for the ask! This made me think about some of my angsty forever-faves in general, sorted from subtle to savage. (Under the cut.)

If you want to skip straight (do we use this word around here?!) to the fics I personally find the most angsty: they're at the bottom of this post. I also included some dark/angsty stories here, but I didn't want to repeat any recommendations.

Your ask helped me understand what it is I find the most angst-filled in mclennon, so thank you for that. I was surprised to see so many canon-adjacent stories on my list, and I think it shows that, to me, the most potent angst doesn't come from outside threat but from their minds, as evidenced by events that actually happened. The two of them being scared of (and turned on by) the big fat x they mark on their shared psychosexual map is one of the most attractive aspects of mclennon for me—followed by the two of them taking x for granted, and being permanently damaged once they realize they lost it forever. I also like stories that show their mutual resentment, even as they're into each other (sometimes literally). Anyway, under the cut are some of my favorite angsty fics in three handy categories:

1.) Carry That Weight/Love is Strange: Their relationship is deep and doomed and addictive. These stories are all set during the Beatle-years. I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU (sexysadie): 1968. John and Paul talk about women, but really, they talk about each other. A brief story about longing in the absence of hope. WALKING CLOSE AT HAND (harmonising): John and Paul as pair of broken mirrors, haunted by death in all things. Their love as beautiful magic-turned-curse. LET ME ROLL IT (@downtothe-lastdrop): The 1968 NYC Apple Launch Divorcemoon from Paul's POV. Lively and detailed, and drenched in what it must feel like to drown in unspoken words. I THINK OF THINGS WE DID (J_deandra_j): 1965. John and Paul fuck in Austria during the filming of Help! There is something intangibly upsetting about this story: anger and frustration; lust and sex with little room for softness—but it's so good and real and raw while it lasts. This one is impossible to forget! John POV. HOW YOU WERE DIVERTED (candle_beck): Paul handles John. This is about sex as one of the things that is "just them"—an urgent and rough emergency intervention. 2.) Tributes to the Canonical Breakup. To me, the break-up is an angst-filled nightmare. Not to mention the looming day of John's murder. I love stories that explore the break-up and its aftermath with compassion. And, as painful as it is, I especially love stories that make me feel that the love was there, always (even though it wasn't enough). THROW THE WINE (@savageandwise). This one is such a classic I imagine everyone must have read it, but I can't not mention it. It was one of the first fics I read—arrow through me, and such. The more painful it gets, the more it slows down. That takes courage. YOU'RE A DREAM LOVER (@dailyhowl). John and Paul share dreams and love each other in their dreams—gloriously so—but in the end, the dream is over. The most brutal aspect of this one is seeing Paul in the end, alone. I STILL MISS SOMEONE & CLOSE THE DOOR LIGHTLY WHEN YOU GO (RosalindBeatrice). Paul and John become lovers in the 70's, but their encounters are few and far between—and in the end, darkness falls. But there's also the mercy of honesty, tears, and, yes: sex. Beautifully melancholy story about the vast distance between bright stars. ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK (@backbenttulips). Apologies to the writer in case my "angsty" reading of this one misses the mark! Above all, this is a hot hot hot story about John and Paul hooking up in Bangkok and fucking every which way, remembering the past and seizing the present. But it's also a story about a relationship that no longer exists: their musical partnership. They destroyed the one place where their love had a home. Now, faraway hotel rooms will have to do—and there are no goodbyes or plans for a next time. (I must repeat how hot this is though.)

3.) "A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day."—Except it's exactly this day. Deep pain and sadness: the break-up is final; no one was saved. [Writers mentioned here: this is meant as a compliment. All of these stories are so good. It's not for nothing that I was never able to forget some lines from these stories, even though I read them very early on.]

HEAR ME, MY LOVER by @savageandwise. (Unfinished, but feels finished.) At the time the Beatles break up, Paul attempts to kill himself. He lives, but much else is destroyed. No one is wrong or right—their love and fracturing cut all possible ways. I read this as a literal translation of what the loss of the band (and John) meant for Paul, for a while.

FOUR LAST SONGS by @celebratorypenguin. This AU (four parts) explores what would have happened to the Beatles if John hadn't been the one to die first. Sentences from this one still live in my brain. The story is both sweeping and deep, and covers the POV of all four Beatles. Its truly an alternate history of the band, and it's very sad. But so, so beautiful, too.

Bonus Materials: John and Paul never became John&Paul. Everyone comes at this differently, but to me, the idea of them meeting, and falling in love, and turning away from it, is as angst-filled as the worst of the the break-up. That's why I think these two are among the best, most courageous, but also most angst-filled, of all mclennon fics: ALL THE BOYS ARE SINGING LOVE SONGS. (@dailyhowl): Paul settles down with Dot and they start a family. He and John meet again, and the spark is still there, but after a night together, the fear of starting over is greater. This magnificently written story fucked me up, and I've yet to pick up the courage to read it a second time. To quote the writer: this is a story about "the angst of living in the prison of society-approved masculinity." Yes. "Happy ending seekers need not apply." That is fair. As a happy ending seeker, I comfort my tender shipper's heart with the exhilarating fact that the real John and Paul did, in fact, become lovers become famous with the Beatles and formed a close musical partnership. THERE ARE ALWAYS FLOWERS (tarenas). This is a story I mentioned in my overall favorites post, and it's not, strictly speaking, all angst (to quote the writer: "this is about being sad and middle-aged, but it's also about being so happy and middle-aged!") It's not even J/P: it's mostly Paul/George, and their relationship is beautiful and real. Still, as a reader I was aching for the other life that could have been, and that is woven through the events of this story with incredible artistry: the Beatles, which everyone misses without knowing why. The great love between John and Paul that ended when John chose someone else. This is the magic of RPF: reality is the shadow event included for free. (Unfinished, with have all four n on-Beatles POV's. So far: George and Ringo.)

[alexjcrowley]

The thing about brocedes still living in the same building makes me wanna munch my walls because on one hand I am convinced they're basically playing gay chicken except the first one to move out of that condo is not gay but implicitly admits to be psychologically weaker so now the fight is not about who wins the championship but who can recover more swiftly from 2016 and pretend he's unbothered by losing one of the most meaningful relationships of his life, it's psychosexual and unbelievable and uselessly painful and nobody really wins so they're both fucking ridiculous, they really said after the most heartbreaking friendship breakup ever documented on live tv let's be a little silly let's prolong our rivalry to levels only reached by american sitcoms

On the other hand

On other hand it makes perfect sense. They're not gonna move out because moving out would mean letting the fight die which would mean getting out of eachothers lives forever. Because when the fight ends we can't go back to being friends so I'd be forced to simply leave you behind and I can't do that. Let's keep up the fight, let me keep us for a little more, out of spite if not out of love. Yes I hate you and I can't even say your name and I won't call you on your birthday but please let me pretend it's out of my hands if I see you in the hallway one morning and then I hide behind a door. Until we live in the same building I have an excuse to see you without admitting I want to. Without testing my pride to see if I had the courage to come to you when we had no chance to meet on the stairs anymore, because I don't think I would allow myself that and I know I would suffer tremendously for it. We can't be a part of eachothers lives anymore because I've hurt you too much and you've done the same, we can't go back, but please don't let me move forward. You won't speak to me anymore but let me at least see your face once in a while. Not on posters or tv or internet, your face, without filters and the perfect lighting, with eyebags and imperfect hair and anything other than the press-trained smile because that is- was my friend, the man on tv- I don't know who that is. And it's my home, my home, understood, you can't force me out of it like you forced me out of your life so you move first if you want to move but I don't want to. It's my home and you were my friend and I'll be damned if I let you take anything else away from me again. I can't bear you in my life and I can't bear you out of it. Let's keep things muddy and confused and ridiculous, let's not ever put an end to this. Remind me everyday why I hate you rather than go away and force me to think maybe I still care about you more than I have ever hated you. Do not let this heal, because who knows if one of us will ever have the courage to go back to this car crash to see if there's still something that can be saved. I will stay here, forcing you to look around before you leave your apartment and check the flight of the stairs to see if I'm coming up when you need to go down, like a monster always hidden in a dark corner, like a ghost I will haunt you. I will force my presence into your life, if not in your home, at your table, in your living room, then in the corner of your eye, in a set of steps you could never not recognise, in a shadow approaching the hallway. The hurt will persevere and so will the love, in this new wretched form. We swore we would always be at eachothers side, we never said how. No, I won't move out and I won't move on. Allow me to force you to do the same.

[k0dzukeiji]

enough for you - Oikawa Tooru

synopsis: it was foolish of you to think that you’d ever be good enough for Oikawa Tooru.

genre: lovers>exes

song: enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

warnings: breakups, insecurity, cheating, cursing, not proof read

wc: 657

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When you and Oikawa had first started dating, you were very insecure. I mean it was kind of a given, dating the most popular boy in school and all. Of course Oikawa noticed this and assured you that there was nothing to worry about because you’d always be good enough for him.

However over time you noticed he stopped treating you as lovingly, he stopped looking at you with that excited expression and smile full of love. Instead he seemed rather… Bored. Maybe he thought you didn’t notice but you did. You noticed how he started to treat this one girl differently. How he would give her subtle looks full of love and how he would sneak off with her when he thought no one was looking.

At first you thought it was just your insecurities getting to you, so one day when they snuck off during volleyball practice you decided to follow them. See what they were up to and maybe ease your suspicions, however thats not what happened. When you turned the corner, you saw your boyfriend hungrily kissing another girl while holding her the same way he used to hold you.

“(Name)—“ His eyes widened as he pulled away from the girl who was pressed against him.

“Save it, Oikawa. I don’t wanna fucking hear it.” You said harshly as you hurried away from him, his heart broke a bit hearing your tone.

“No— (Name) wait!” He yelled as he pushed the girl off of him, chasing after you.

“(Name) please listen to me, I can explain!” He tried to defend himself as he put his hands on your shoulders, looking down at you with a desperate look.

“Explain what? How you cheated on me? Yeah I’d rather not. We’re done, Oikawa.” You shoved his hands off of you and turned to walk away until he grabbed your wrist in his hand, pulling you back towards him.

“Please (Name)… Can’t we try again? Do you really just want to throw us away?” You nearly scoffed at his words. He’s the one who cheated on you and put you through this pain and yet he doesn’t want to break up.

“What part of done don’t you understand? I’m breaking up with you.” You tried to stay calm but behind your calm facade you were fighting the tears which so badly wanted to be released.

“I’m sorry I cheated on you (Name)… I don’t know what came over me but please don’t break up with me, I love you (Name)”

“No Oikawa. You don’t.” You lowered your gaze onto his hand which still gripped your wrist

“(Name) I really do love you please let me just explain!”

“There’s nothing for you to explain, Oikawa I’m not good enough for you and I never will be so just let me go…”

“No… No don’t say that, you are good enough for me and you always have been”

“Then why did you cheat on me..?”

“I… I don’t—“

“Don’t say I don’t know. I know you know and you know it too.”

“(Name) its not that simple—“

“Yes, it is. I’m not good enough for you, and it was foolish of me to think I ever could be” you chuckled bitterly

“You told me I’d always be enough for you, that my love would always be good enough for you, but clearly it wasn’t. Because if it really enough for you then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” You said as your tears finally began to stream down your cheeks. Oikawa never liked seeing you cry, at this moment he wanted nothing more than to wipe your tears and apologize.

“I’m sorry (Name)…” He tried to get closer to you but you only backed up

“No I’m sorry. All I ever wanted was to be good enough for you but in the end, my love wasn’t enough to make you stay.” And with that you left. You left him behind with his thoughts and your last words which he thinks will forever haunt him.

“You were always enough” He thought to himself as he allowed his tears to fall.

Fin~

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Wrote this in like 15 minutes and I kinda hate it 💀 does it even make sense