#this book legit creeped me out

[tlbodine]

Overthinking: The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight

The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight is R.L. Stine's #20 in the Goosebumps series, putting us about 1/3rd of the way through the original run.

I remember this one's cover (and it's a fantastic one! look at that framing! so ominous) but this was my first time reading this. And boy! I was surprised by how dark this one is. Stine reportedly claims this is one of his scariest books, and I think I agree with this assessment. This may be one of the most genuinely frightening Goosebumps we've encountered so far.

On a personal note, it's also very funny re-reading these not just as an adult but as a somewhat established author, because there is so much Stine influence in my work that I didn't even know was there. It's actually kind of astonishing that I wrote The Hound without ever having read this book.

Anyway. Let's get into it.

First, the Plot:

Jodie and her lazy brother Mark are visiting their grandparents for the summer. They come out to the farm all the time and always look forward to it, from Grandma's chocolate chip pancakes to Grandpa's ghost stories. But this year, things feel weird and different. Grandma and Grandpa aren't acting like themselves. They seem scared and nervous and have stopped doing the things they enjoy.

And then there's Stanley, the hired help, who is as weird and unpredictable as ever. He's gotten pretty obsessed with a big book of superstitions and keeps making unsettling pronouncements like, "The scarecrow walks at midnight. I read it in the book."

Living with Stanley is his teenage son, Sticks, who wavers between disinterested and downright hostile to the city kids.

At night, Jodie sees what certainly looks like movement in the cornfield. Are the scarecrows coming alive? She can't be sure. But later, a scarecrow seems to be following them when they go fishing, and one frightens the horses when they're out riding. Upon further investigation, Jodie becomes pretty sure that Sticks is playing a mean joke on her, and conspires to get back at him by playing a joke back. She convinces her brother to dress up like a scarecrow and plans to jump-scare Sticks with him.

But when she runs into Sticks, he admits the truth of what's going on here. Stanley really did read an incantation from his book to make the scarecrows come to life. He undid it, putting them all to sleep, and is using the threat of waking them back up to get his way around the farm -- only the food he likes, no scary stories he doesn't, etc. No wonder grandma and grandpa are so scared!

Stanley sees Mark and takes that as a sign that the scarecrows are awake and he needs to become their master, so he grabs his book and invokes them again. They all wake up, but they don't respond to him as their leader. They menacingly circle the family but are ultimately defeated by fire and things go back to normal.

Except Stanley is still reading the book...and now the taxidermy bear in the living room just woke up....

Overthinking It:

The plot summary really doesn't do this book justice, in part because the plot of The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight is kind of a mess. It's riddled with holes and inconsistencies that don't make sense. Why doesn't Sticks just tell Jodie what's going on the first time she accuses him? If Sticks knows that some of the scarecrows are still awake, why does he try to hide that from his dad? Why does Stanley wake up all the scarecrows instead of putting them all to sleep? Why doesn't anybody try to take the book away from him? Where did the book come from in the first place? Why doesn't Stanley get fired? Why didn't they just catch the scarecrows on fire to begin with?

It all feels a little bit half-baked, and it kind of feels like it's shabbily covering a much darker story beneath that it doesn't want to commit to. For at least 75% of this book, it feels like it's setting up the big reveal that Stanley has replaced the grandparents with scarecrows, which he can now control. Maybe the grandparents died and Stanley tried to bring them back, or maybe he killed them and replaced them, or maybe he turned them into scarecrows in some way -- but that's where it felt like the story was headed from essentially page one. I was really expecting to find out that Sticks a scarecrow (he has no mom! his name is Sticks!) and that's why he didn't want his dad to put them all to sleep. I was also expecting that Stanley might himself be a scarecrow and that the grandparents actually brought him to life Pinocchio style and have since lost control of him and now he's creating so many other scarecrows. All his best friends are scarecrows! You can be one, now, too! Just come over here and let me stuff you full of straw!

Alas. Maybe that would've been a little too dark for Goosebumps.

Stanley, incidentally, is a fascinating character and a big part of why this book is so scary. We've had grownup characters interacting with kids before, of course, and we've had plenty of adults as villains, but this is the first time where an adult is treated narratively like another child. Stanley gets a lot of screen time, he's really integral to the plot, and he is very unsettling.

The narrative never comes out and says this but I think we're meant to infer that Stanley is, uh, "a little slow," as they might say on a farm. He is kind of childlike and simple in a way that manages to read as simultaneously endearing and creepy. Early on, he tells Jodie that she looks real nice and asks how old she is, again, to which she replies that she's 12 and Mark is 11, and Stanley replies solemnly, "Together, that's 23." And I don't know exactly how Stine meant that to come across but it heebied my jeebies for all the wrong reasons lol.

But even aside from that, he's just...deeply committed to his book (where did it come from? why does he have it? why does nobody take it from him?) and making vague doomy pronouncements. That he is simultaneously erratic, earnest, and sensitive, makes him a real powder keg and one of the most interesting Stine villains I think we've ever encountered. (if he's even a villain. it's unclear what his level of understanding is, to say nothing of his motives.)

There is certainly a way to read this book where Stanley's actions are justified. There is certainly an interpretation that his bosses have been taking advantage of him and exploiting him as a disabled worker and now he's turning the tide on them! I don't think that's supported by the text, and I definitely don't think it's Stine's intent with his character, but it is interesting.

The scariest part of the book by far is a dream sequence where Jodie dreams of her grandfather coming in through her window at night and revealing himself to be a scarecrow. The visuals of him stumbling and lurching, the dead-eyed face, the scratchy straw hand reaching for her throat -- all of it is exquisitely creepy. The dream sequence also goes on forever, well past when you think it will stop, to the point where you question whether that's even what's going on. Great stuff.

There's also some really great paranoia and uncertainty where for a while Jodie is seeing scarecrows everywhere, just as Stanley is seeing superstitious portents everywhere. It's super Gothic and super scary. And the part at the end, where the taxidermy comes to life....i mean. I wrote that book already. You KNOW I'm here for it.

Underwriting all of this is a more grounded fear: the fear of aging, of your grandparents becoming unrecognizable with age, of age stripping away what you love about someone and leaving behind...well...an empty husk, like a scarecrow.

If You Liked This, THESE Will Really Give You Goosebumps:

I can't think of scarecrows without thinking of Harold from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (I forget which of the three books it is, I think it's #3?).

For more unsettling American Gothic, try Children of the Corn. I think there are also elements of both The Visit and Get Out to appreciate here. I also got a definite Jeepers Creepers vibe, but would not recommend that series without also noting that the director is a convicted child predator so....do with that what you will.

[keyofjetwolf]

So far 2024 has seen me knocked flat by a cold, but hey, enabled my first book of the year to start and finish!

[thesmokinpossum]

btw, while I think we can all agree that her chapter contains quite a few...questionable elements, I'm glad Lucy Mancini exists in the universe of The Godfather because thanks to her there's one woman in this book who ends up in a materially better place than where she started unlike litterally all the others so we can at least appreciate that

[mxltifxnd0m]

late night talking ✤ s. winchester

summary: neither you nor sam are tired, so you guys stay up and talk; [a part of season of the witch verse!]

pairings: established! sam winchester x witch! reader, sam winchester x gn afab! reader

word count: 3.4K

warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, whole bunch of fluff, mentions of dead parents, a little bit of angst, reader is given nickname 'jinx', kinda edited, the title is inspired by the song by harry styles

a/n: ahh first fic for season of the witch verse! im legit so excited for this little universe and so i hope you guys enjoy it! also this was inspired by a really old fic i had written a long time ago :)

enjoy the fic! please like, comment, and reblog! your feedback fuels me <3

[here's my taglist; read rules before sending in an ask]

𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

You could feel the cold creep into the bunker as the leaves on the trees surrounding the bunker turned red and orange as they fell from the branches. You were practically jumping for joy as you got to indulge in the cooler temperatures, being able to wear warmer clothing, enjoying hot drinks, visiting pumpkin patches, and adoring the warm spices and scents that the autumn season brought for the coming months before the harshness of the winter weather Kansas had. 

You and Sam came back from a day filled with fall festivities. You guys went apple picking in the morning before you went to the local farmers market that the town would have bi-weekly and walked around for a while, holding hands as the two of you strolled down the stalls of the local business owners selling their products.  Some food trucks were set up around the perimeter of the market, and one of them was selling hot cider and other warm drinks; despite your protests of you paying for the drinks, Sam had ended up paying for the hot ciders you ordered for the both of you with a cheeky grin. 

The farmers market was hosted at the nearby park, so the two of you sat down on a bench and people-watched while you guys sipped on the hot ciders that warmed your insides while you drank it. Before you knew it, it was late afternoon, nearing evening, so the two of you decided to pick up some dinner. You went to the cozy diner in town, and once the two of you were done, you picked up some food and pie for Dean before heading back to the bunker. 

Dean thanked you with a grin when he looked inside the bag of food you had given him and retreated into the “Dean Cave,” where you believe he spent most of his day just watching Netflix.  You shook your head and smiled to yourself before heading to your room to get ready for bed. 

It wasn’t late when you and Sam got back home. But the chilly October air lingered and had settled in your skin, so you quickly gathered your pajamas, which consisted of a gray woolen sweater (that definitely was yours and not stolen from Sam), black sweats, and some fuzzy socks that you had bought as soon the weather started to cool down because you learned the hard way that the tiled floor of the bunker was not kind to bare feet in the colder months. You took a hot shower before changing into your pajamas and made your way into your shared room with Sam. 

You leaned on the doorway of the room and couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face when you saw Sam already in bed and sitting against the headboard, reading the book he kept on his nightstand. He didn’t seem to notice you yet, Sam being wholly enraptured in the tale he was pulled into. You didn’t dare disturb him, so you took the time to admire him from your spot in the doorway. 

Sam was wearing a simple black long-sleeve shirt, but you could see the initials of your name that you had embroidered on the left cuff of the sleeve. Your smile grew when you realized he was wearing the shirt (among many other shirts and pants) that you embroidered your initials on for his birthday. At first, he hadn’t noticed them until Dean pointed them out one day when one of them accidentally got mixed up in his laundry. You remembered how flustered he got when he asked you about it, but he still wore the garments that you had given him. 

Your eyes trailed down to see what he was wearing for pants, but his legs were covered by the duvet. You could imagine that he was either wearing a thin pair of sweats or just his boxers and socks since he was the living embodiment of a furnace.  Your gaze flicked back up when you saw Sam absent-mindedly tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. That was when he saw you out of the corner of his eye, and your eyes met his. 

Sam smiled at you, saved the page he was on with a bookmark, and closed his book. “Hey.” He said softly. 

“Hi.” You kicked off of the doorway and made your way to the bed. Sam set his book on the nightstand and held his hand out for you to take. 

“Such a gentleman, Sammy.” You couldn’t help but gently tease him as you took his warm hand. 

Sam chuckled as he shook his head. “Only for you honey.” His hand guided you as you climbed on the bed and sat in his lap. Sam let go of your hand to rest his on your thighs as your palms settled on his broad shoulders. 

“Have fun today?” He asked as his hands slid up from your legs and to your waist. He snuck underneath your (his) sweater to rub at your skin soothingly. 

You nodded. “Very. Feels like it’s been ages since we had a proper date without Dean involved.” 

As much as you love Dean, you’re sure that he was sick of third wheeling with you and his brother since monsters decided that it was primetime to cause murder and mayhem. So you were dragged all over the country for the past couple of weeks helping the boys research and kill monsters. It was only until the last hunt that involved some ghouls that the three of you made it back to the bunker, and it seemed that the monster activity had quieted. That was a little over a week ago, and trouble with the supernatural seemed to die down, so the two of you decided to have an impromptu date today after recuperating in the bunker for the past couple of days. 

Sam huffed a laugh through his nose. “Yeah, I’m sure he’s happy that he didn’t have to see us ‘canoodling.’” 

“But you have to admit that it’s funny to annoy him by acting like an obnoxious couple.” 

Sam pursed his lips, but you could tell he was trying to hold back a smile, the twitch of his lips becoming more evident. “It’s a little funny.” 

You shot him a cocky grin. “Told you.”

“Whatever.” Sam rolled his eyes at you, but a smile broke on his face. 

“Your words are telling one thing, but your face is telling me another Winchester.” You said as you poked one of his dimples when he smiled. 

You let out a giggle when he tried to swat your hand away from his face and missed it. 

“Why do you always do that?” 

You shrugged. “Because I want to. And I love your dimples.” 

Sam would never admit it, but a slight blush formed on his face at your admission. Sam wasn’t used to the amount of affection in his relationships. He ducked his head down slightly, making some of his hair fall in his face. Before he could tuck the wayward strands behind his ear, you beat him to it. You brushed the hair back and rested your hand on his cheek, feeling the slight prickle of the stubble beginning to grow against your palm. 

You sent him a soft smile before leaning in and pressing your lips against his. You could feel him smile into the kiss before slowly moving his lips against yours. Sam’s lips were soft and warm as the two of you shared a sweet kiss. The two of you pulled away gently, not straying too far, having rested your forehead against his. You and Sam were in your own bubble, content with sitting in silence as you took solace in each other’s presence.

After a few moments, you gave Sam a quick peck on the lips before you moved off of Sam and towards your side of the bed. He let go of you, letting you get settled under the covers, before pulling you towards him, Sam tucking you into his side. Your head was lying on his chest as his arm wrapped around your shoulders, and your arm was strewn across his chest while your legs tangled with his. 

Both of you let out satisfied sighs as you settled in each other’s embrace. You let Sam’s scent engulf you, and you nuzzled your head further into his chest. You could feel his hand resting on your arm and drawing random shapes on top of the sweater, trailing up and down as the two of you lay in bed together. 

“You know, my mom would have liked you.” Your voice felt deafening in the nearly silent room. 

You felt Sam’s hand stop on your arm, probably out of surprise that you brought her up. You didn’t talk about your mom, or your parents for that matter, often. 

“Really?” His voice was low, but you could hear the lingering curiosity in it. 

You shifted in Sam’s arms, propping your chin on his chest and looking up at Sam. You were immediately captured in Sam’s hazel gaze. They were a mix of emeralds and gold swimming together in the warm lighting provided by the lamp on Sam’s nightstand. 

You felt the corner of your lip twitch as you nodded at Sam. “Yeah, she was really picky with the partners I would bring home. She liked maybe two out of the ones she had officially met.”

“How many people did you bring home?” Sam’s brows furrowed, causing the tell-tale crease in between them when he got curious and asked questions. 

“Around five.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow at you. “Around five?” He parroted your words with a questioning tone, but a half-smile was on his face. You felt his hand on your back and traced up and down your spine. 

You huffed at him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. “Sorry, she met five of my partners.” You rolled your eyes at him. “But, you would have been the sixth.” you murmured. 

His smile dimmed, Sam’s hand stilling on your back. “What would she have said to you if she met me?” 

You smiled at the thought of your mother and Sam meeting. “Well, she would have immediately commented on the fact that you’re too attractive for your own good.”

Sam rolled his eyes at you. “Right.” 

“I’m not joking!” You couldn’t help but laugh and sit up. “My mom was an honest woman, and she let people know what she thought.” Sam’s arm was wrapped around your waist as he looked up at you from his position, lying against his pillow. 

“Mhm, okay. What else would she have said?” 

You could tell that Sam didn’t exactly believe you, but you moved on. “She’d be able to see that you’re adorable, considerate, intelligent, and empathetic. Mom had this thing where she could tell if you had good intentions or not by a gut feeling.”

“Did you inherit this from your mom?” 

You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Maybe? It doesn’t work sometimes.” You thought back to your previous partners you had before dating Sam. 

“Well, let’s speculate. What do you think she’d think I’d have?” Sam sat up and rested his back against the headboard.

You purse your lips in thought before responding. “Mom would have said that you have only the best intentions when it comes to dating me.” 

Sam’s face softened. “I do.” 

“I know. That was the only time that it seemed to work for me.” You paused before the gentle smile that was on your face turned into a smirk. “But you would have lost brownie points by being a hunter.” 

“Yeah, can’t blame her.” Sam couldn’t help but agree with that notion, and he shook his head, chuckling. You let out a light laugh alongside his chuckling. You leaned back and tucked yourself underneath Sam’s arm. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you rested your head on his shoulder. 

There was a lull of silence that settled between the two of you. 

Sam leaned over and kissed the side of your head before laying his head against yours. “Tired yet?” He murmured. 

You glanced at the clock on your nightstand. “Not yet.” You answered back just as quietly. 

“Have any stories about your mom? I know you don’t talk about her often, but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

You shook your head as you reached over and grabbed Sam’s free hand. “It’s fine, I have plenty of stories about her.” You swallowed thickly. It had been years since she had died, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t hard to talk about her. 

“But, I remember when we had moved to California for a couple of months after Dad died, and she was able to rent out a beach house for the summer.” You smiled fondly as you began to remember your summer that year. 

“She refused to tell me how she was able to get a beach house, but we spent practically everyday outside and enjoying the ocean. Mom was even able to get us surfing lessons for the summer.” 

“Were you any good at it?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah, I got pretty good at it after a couple of lessons. But she was terrible at it.” You laughed, your mind flicking through all of the times your mom fell when trying to stand up on the surfboard when trying to ride a wave. 

“You would think a seasoned hunter like her would have great balance, but I guess it didn’t translate to the water.” You smirked sadly. 

Sam laughed lightly at your words, squeezing your hand that was in his. “That sounded like a lot of fun.” 

“Mhm, it was.” You sighed. “She was the best.” 

“She sounded like a wonderful woman. I wish I could have met her.” 

You lifted your head from his shoulder and looked up at Sam to find that his gaze was already on you. “So do I.” You murmured. 

Sam sent you a sad smile before leaving a small kiss on your forehead. He shifted down on the bed, pulling you down with him, returning to the previous position that the two of you were in earlier. 

You felt the warmth emanating from Sam’s chest as your cheek rested against it. You hadn’t let go of his hand as the two of you went back to lying on your bed, which rested on his stomach. You could practically hear the questions rattling around Sam’s brain as his fingers traced circles on your back. His ministrations were soothing and slowly lulled you to sleep. Your eyes eventually fell closed as your breathing began to even out. 

“Do you ever think we’ll have a life outside of hunting?” Sam’s question was hushed, but it caught your attention as your eyes snapped open, and you took in a harsh breath as you thought about your words.

“Is that something you want?” You looked up at him to see him looking up at the ceiling, his face pensive. 

Sam frowned slightly as he gave you a half-hearted shrug. “I don’t know anymore. I’ve tried so many times, but hunting always seems to pull me back in.” Sam looked down at you with somber eyes, his once hazel eyes looking stormy and gray, his brain becoming a frenzy of thoughts filled with doubt and regret. 

“Stop.” You untangled your hand from his and took his chin in between your index and thumb. “I know what you’re thinking, and no it’s not your fault. I chose to come back into this life.”

Sam’s frown deepened. You knew that he blamed himself for pulling you into his world of crazy and despair. You huffed at him before getting out of his grip and straddling his lap once more. You grabbed his face and stared deep into his eyes. 

“You better listen closely Sam, because I’m only going to say this once. It is not your fault that I’m here and hunting. Yes, I was living a normal life, but let’s face it, being a witch doesn’t allow normalcy. I was going to get dragged back into the world of the supernatural one way or another.” You let one of your hands fall from his cheek to rest on his heart.  “It just so happened that you are a part of this world that had pulled me back in.” 

“But, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re stuck with me, Winchester, got it?” You sent him a toothy smile as you felt his heartbeat against your palm. 

Sam couldn’t help but also smile at the sight of yours. “Understood.”

“Good. And to answer your question. I’m on the side of optimism here, so I like to think that we will.” 

“Really?” Sam’s tone was filled with intrigue. It wasn’t every day that he saw you be optimistic, knowing that you had a realistic outlook on life. 

You nodded. “Mhm. I’m not a divination witch but, I have this feeling that there’s a light at the end of this tunnel and the two of us and Dean are going to get our happy endings. We just have to wait and see what happens.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow at you. “You think so?” 

“Call it a really intense gut feeling.” 

“So it’s a maybe.” Sam said sassily. 

You slapped Sam’s chest in retaliation as he chuckled. “Shut up, who’s the witch here?” 

“Hey, I was the one who had visions.” 

“Did you see that far into the future? Besides, where are those powers now?” You raised an eyebrow at Sam. 

Sam’s lips thinned before pressing them together. You smiled at him as he tried to think of a response, but you both knew that you had gotten him. 

“That’s what I thought.” You sent him a smug smile before pinching his cheek with the hand that was still resting on his face. 

Sam scowled at you before it turned into a mischievous smile. Before you knew it, Sam had flipped you on your back. You landed on the mattress with a sharp yelp leaving your lips as Sam hovered over you. You recognized the glint that was in his eyes, and before you could stop Sam, he started to tickle your sides, poking and prodding at them. You erupted into giggles as you tried to escape his hands. You were pushing at his hands as your legs flailed behind Sam’s giant form straddling you. 

Sam only stopped when you yelled out ‘Uncle’ and had the smuggest smile on his face as he pulled his hands away. 

“I hate you.” You breathed out, your chest heaving as you calmed down from getting attacked by Sam’s hands. 

“No you don’t.” Sam had moved to hover over you, now resting his forehead against yours. 

“Yeah, I do.” 

Sam let out a breathy chuckle. “You’re impossible.” 

“Me, impossible? Never.” You couldn’t help teasing as you bit your bottom lip and looked at Sam. 

Sam’s lips were brushing against yours as he spoke. “Right.” He drawled out in a low voice, and you could feel yourself melting at the sound of the deep timbre of his voice. 

Before you could make another snarky remark, Sam pressed his lips on yours in a languid kiss. Your hands flew to his shoulders and slid up to rest on the nape of his neck as he deepened the kiss. You felt his tongue swipe at the seam of your lips, and you all but let the taste of him flood your senses. You could faintly taste the mint of his toothpaste, but it was all purely Sam. He kept the kiss slow, but it was filled with passion as he licked at your mouth and how your tongues intertwined with one another. But you could vaguely feel your lungs start to burn at the lack of oxygen they were getting, so you pulled away from Sam. 

You didn’t stray far, letting him rest his forehead against his as the both of you caught your breath. There were mirrored smiles on either of your faces. They were filled with content and love as you gazed at each other. 

“I love you Jinx.” Sam whispered. 

“I love you, my heart.” You whispered back at him. 

Sam left a lingering kiss on your lips before moving off of you, and the two of you settled back into each other’s arms. Sam’s arms were wrapped around your shoulder and waist as your face was squished against his warm chest, letting your legs intertwine with each other once more, the two of you fitting together like two pieces of an unsolved puzzle. The two of you eventually drifted off, dreaming of each other and the future that awaited you and Sam. 

[sanyu-thewitch05]

F! Yuu’s Dad in Twisted Wonderland pt. 3

Pt.4

Books 3, 4, &5 were when your dad was stressing.

🦀: Why do Ace and Deuce have sea mushroom thingies on their heads? They-They made a deal with a boy so they can cheat their midterms, but everyone else but you cheated as well so they’re stuck in a contract of servitude? Yeah no, don’t get involved in their foolishness-oh, damn it! The cat has a sea mushroom too! Well, I guess we’ll find a way to fix it.

When all the shenanigans happen and Leona eventually turns Azul’s contracts into sand and he overblots, your dad is there to witness it.

🦀:Already five in the evening and the boy ain’t right.

He watches you and your friends beat Azul out of his overblot and watches the aftermath.

Safe to say, your father makes you stay away from Azul, Jade, and Floyd.

🦀: Hold on, where are you going and why do you have a basket?

🦐: I’m going mushroom picking with Jade.

🦀: Is Jade that one that always looks high and acts erratic?

🦐: No, that’s his twin brother, Floyd.

🦀: Either way, don’t go with him. He probably does shrooms.

Which leads you to Book 4

Your father does not like Kalim.

🦀: Hey! Hey! Hands off! You are way too touchy with my daughter!

☀️: But she’s my best friend!

🦀: You just met her five minutes ago.

🐍: Kalim, don’t go around hug tackling people you just met.

🦀: You keep him in check. I like that.

Your father becomes the “I like that” lady from the Simpsons.

🦀: “You run a tight ship. I like that.” “You keep the boys in check. I like that.” “You got some intelligence in you. I like that.”

Eventually Jamil overblots, and Jamil doesn’t even bother hypnotizing your father. He respects him that much. Which extends to Yuu.

🐍: So, what’s your world like?

You sneak away into the desert to find your friends. Your dad is at Scarabia small talking with Jamil.

Jamil will forever have an ego boost that your father respects him more than Kalim.

Afterwards, when the VDC start to loom over NRC, he’s not opposed to you joining(it’s his chance to get video of you dancing and singing).

That is until he finds out the team is staying in Ramshackle during the training period.

🦀: No! Absolutely not! You’re not having 7 boys living in this dorm with you! Especially that Kalim and Ace boy!

🦐: Dad! If we win we could use the money to renovate Ramshackle!

🦀:…..fine. But they’re staying downstairs.

Your father catches a glimpse of Rook’s photobook. He legit tries calling the police.

Boy shenanigans ensue

❤️: Man I’m beat from practice.

🦐:So am I. I’m taking a nap. Wanna join me?

And for once, Ace actually gets to sleep next to you in a bed. Then it gets ruined by everyone else but Vil joining in. It turned into a group nap on the bed.

Your father finds out and he’s not pleased.

🦀: GET OUT! And Yuu, we’re having a review of the puberty talk when it comes to boys.

When the VDC’s happen, he gets a recording of Yuu dancing and singing. Unfortunately that was ruined after the revelation that Vil tried to murder Neige.

🦀: Yuu, we’ve gotta kick these people out! One of them tried to kill someone. These boys are not right!

🦐: Dad! It’s all good! He’s back to normal now and we won the competition which means Ramshackle can be renovated!

🦀: I worry about you. I really do. I never should have let you read Having Adeline.

🦐: *gasp* They are perfectly good friends!

🦀: Oh, really? Riddle has anger issues, Cater is just Cater, Trey probably has a fetish for teeth, Deuce is too pugnacious, and Ace keeps trying to sneak into bed with you.

🦐: But-

🦀: Leona is a grown man who needs to get his life and inferiority complex together, Jack is…actually he’s ok. Ruggie’s such a con artist he would takeover Atlanta. Vil’s vain and murderous, Rook is a French stalker, Epel has masculinity issues. Ortho is a robot boy who’s too complicit in his brother’s shenanigans and Idia is an otaku creep who looks like he constantly needs a bath or else he’ll look like a zombie.

🦐: But-

🦀: Kalim’s too hands on with you, too oblivious to his surroundings, and has no boundaries, Jamil’s ok, something seems off with Lilia, Sebek is going to make you go deaf, Malleus is a creep and under no circumstances should you engage with him, and Silver is alright.

🦐: Why didn’t you mention Octavinelle?

🦀: Did I need to say anything about them to make them look bad?

🦐: No….no you did not.

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader.

{{-Story Description: You're a youtuber with a fairly decent following deciding to help your good friend Tanner with a minor film project, with you set as the leading lady. When the actor for the male lead is a no show, Ted takes up the role himself. One problem: This short film's a Rom Com, and you just met the guy.-}}

//18+, Def gonna be some smut. Reader is implied to be afab, under 5'5 and has specifically named friends, all who have no real connection to Ted.

This story will be in multiple chapters. Also gonna post this on Wattpad and Ao3 (when I figure them out LMAO) under the same username: ObsessiveStarla. Hope you enjoy :^)

Also idk how to do all the fancy Tumblr border stuff so sorry if it's all messy :^(((//

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter 1: No Show, No Movie.

I'm keeping my eye on the road, occasionally glancing at the GPS to make sure I can guide my buddy Tanner as he drives. We had quite an early morning to get to L.A., having been on the road for the last 2 hours to get to this airbnb we'll be staying at. Tanner's nearing the end of film school, so he's getting all his classmates and anyone else that's available and interested to help him with his big final project: A legit short film, filmed, written and directed by him. Having some experience with being on camera myself, he elected to make me part of the main cast. I don't mind at all, if it'll help him out. Even if it's a romantic comedy. I'll kiss some dude, get him that 100%. I'm excited for this.

"Has Conner messaged me at all?" Tanner asks, breaking the last 20 minutes of silence. I quit out of my daydream to check Tanner's messages. Other members of the crew have updated them on their location, including a name I don't recognize, but Conner hasn't responded at all.

"Nope. Mostly everyone else is nearly there though." I responded, lightly shrugging my shoulders. A humorous but knowing smirk creeps along the edges of my lips. "Think he slept in?" "I fucking hope not." Tanner huffs, his tone suggesting he's half-joking. "He is literally /the/ male lead. He's like one of the people I need there the most today."

I put the GPS back up on the screen and lay back against the passenger seat, slightly raising a brow to myself. What would happen if he's late, or doesn't show up at all? Could we even get a replacement in time? We only booked this place for the next couple weeks.

As we get off the highway and get even closer to our destination, I see a notification pop up on Tanner's phone, it's the name I don't recognize. Ted. He's not in our friend group and I don't recall Tanner mentioning him from class.

"Is Ted a new guy?" I ask, turning my head to Tanner. "Oh, no, he's like...a friend of a friend." Tanner pauses before reiterating "He's going to be the editor. He's a youtuber, like you; he went to film school as well."

"Oh. He's like the only name I didn't recognize."

"Yeah, he's a cool guy, no worries, he'll probably be there with me to help with the, yknow, directing too."

There's room for a response, but I don't continue the conversation. We don't have a lot of money to put into this, so that airBnb is also where we'll be filming everything. Most of the film crew and extra actors got their own accommodations elsewhere, but some of us will be staying /at that/ location itself. Wonder if that includes the editor? It'd be weird to share a house with a dude I didn't know, but if Tanner trusts him, I will as well. "I know where to go from here, let everyone know we'll be there soon."

I take Tanner's phone and let everyone know we're close by, including Ted, before setting the phone aside. Tanner pulls into what I thought was a street at first, only to notice its the driveway of the airbnb. Wild how we can't afford multiple sets and hotels, but can afford this villa-like estate for nearly a month. Hey, whatever works, right?

Tanner parks by the many other vehicles and grabs his phone before we both hop out. I can't help but look up at how tall the building is. It looks like one of those frat houses an influencer would own, like if you told me this was owned by fuckin' 'disney channel flow' Team 10, I would 100% believe you.

Tanner and I are greeted by most of the cast and crew as we approach the front door of the house, giving the appropriate hugs and handshakes as we head inside. That's when I spotted a tall man in a dark green sweater fixing up some professional looking cameras, dark hair slicked up to add to his already impressive height, with circular glasses to match the relaxed vibe I'm getting from him. To be fair, he only stands out so much to me because I don't recognize him. This must be Ted.

He looks up from his camera when he spots Tanner and I greeting the other crew members. I casually glance away to one of the pictures on the wall to avoid giving the impression I was staring. I have a habit of fixing my eyes onto people without realizing it.

"Traffic?" Is the first word I hear out of Ted's mouth, directed at Tanner. I don't really know what I was expecting to hear come out of this man, but it certainly wasn't a voice like that. It's strong, deep, almost fake sounding, like he's already playing a character, but no, that's just him.

"Dude, we passed by, like, 3 accidents" Tanner shakes his head slightly, putting his hands on his hips. "And Conner hasn't even gotten back to me, It's been an interesting morning."

As they have their conversation, my thoughts turn to a more curious nature as I contemplate what this guy actually does as a youtuber. If he went to film school as well, does he make long video essays? Commentary, like me?

"This is (Y/N), mine and Joe's friend." My thoughts are cut by the sound of my name, realizing Tanner was introducing me to Ted. Makes sense. We don't know each other. "She's gonna be the female lead."

"Ahhh okay, nice to finally meet you. I'm Ted." Ted personally greets me with a gentle handshake and a winning complexion. I return the handshake with a shy smile. "'Finally'?" I repeat to him, raising a slight brow.

"Yeah! Joe's told me about you, 'said you'd be shorter"

A sudden chuckle escapes me. Joe's my best friend and is part of the wardrobe team, of course he'd say something like that. "He's a dick.." I kid, shaking my head to myself. "You, on the other hand, are a fuckin' giant."

"Oh I know. I have to fuckin' duck down to get into any room upstairs. Tallhood ain't what its cut out to be" We both get a laugh out before Ted returns to setting up the cameras. I notice Tanner checking his phone again, visibly both anxious and frustrated.

"Man." Tanner speaks, seemingly thinking aloud. "Still nothing." "Isn't he the other lead?" Ted speaks as he moves to adjust the stand of one of the lights, glancing up through his round glasses. "I figured he'd be here first."

"He should've been here first." Tanner huffs, masking his clear frustration with a chuckle. "I-I don't know what I'm gonna do if he just doesn't show." "What would we have to do?" I tilt my head at Tanner, feeling a little anxious myself.

"I have no idea, honestly" Tanner responds, shaking his head. "At best, we'd have to find someone to take his place within the next, like, couple days. At worst, I'd have to cancel this whole thing."

I frown, trying to think of some helpful alternative in my head, but nothing comes up. I'd hate for everyone to have to go home, and getting the money back for the airbnb would be a hassle. We all pitched in for this place. As much as I've joked about it, it's pretty nice. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, half the place is a giant living room and there's even more outside. I'd hate to leave without getting to sleep in one of those giant beds. All I can do is hope for the best, I guess.

About an hour passes. At this point, everyone except Conner has shown up on set and most of us that will be on camera are fitted and ready. We had already read through the entire script together over Discord prior to getting here, so all we need to do is just start filming.

I'm refreshing my memory with the script when I hear a notification ping from Tanner's phone. It takes him less than a second to pick it up and look at the message, pausing to read it. I see his expression go from relief to uneasy, his thumbs tapping on his phone's keyboard louder than usual as he responds before setting his phone down and taking a deep breath.

"Conner can't make it."

Silence fills the room for a moment as everyone looks up from their tasks. I approach Tanner, script still on hand.

"What? What does he mean he can't make it?" I asked, honestly shocked with what I was hearing. "So, yknow how he's just...not been responding since we left?" Tanner asks, looking understandably annoyed.

"Yeah?"

"Apparently he ate some bad food last night and has been throwing up since 4am. We left at 5."

The only thing I can do is run my fingers through my hair in frustration. Dude probably ordered bad chicken or something. Of course. "So our main dude, THE male leading role or whatever, has food poisoning." I say that as a statement, but I'm honestly just so confused, I don't want to believe it. "What do we do now? Could we hire someone else in time?" "Even if we could, we wouldn't have time to get the chemistry built up between you two." Tanner shrugs. "There'd be no way of knowing if it'll work out."

"I'll do it."

Tanner and I turn our heads to Ted, who's joined in on the conversation shortly after assembling the last light. My first instinct is to let out a sigh of relief, but I steel myself, trying to really process what he's offering.

"You? You wanna be the male lead?" Tanner points at Ted, rather surprised he'd offer. Ted seemed to laugh at the expression on Tanner's face "What's that fuckin' look for? You think I can't be romantic, Tanner?" "No--" Tanner cackles, putting his palms up defensively as he laughed. "That's not it! I just-- you haven't read the script, and, yknow..." Tanner pauses, shrugging his shoulders and tilting his head in my direction. "You two just met, you'll have to, yknow--"

"'Yknow? Yknow?' I KNOW, Tanner. I. know." Ted begins to mock Tanner in a friendly manner while pointing at himself, his strong voice easily overpowering Tanner's timid tone. "I've been doin' this since you were in little baby diapers, alright? I can read the script, I can kiss the pretty lady, I got this!"

I suddenly feel a whole lot warmer, resisting the urge to put a hand to my cheek. I mean, I have blush on already, but now I'm definitely blushing. I'll have to kiss this guy?

I mean.

That ain't a bad thing.

That's a nice lookin' dude. I'd be blind not to see it.

But I did just meet him.

"I mean...." Tanner seems to be at a loss for words, glancing in my direction once more. I realize I've been one of the main talking pieces of this conversation, yet I haven't spoken a word. "Ah--I.." I stammer out what was meant to be a coherent response, realizing I'm a bit more sheepish about this than I thought I'd be. He called me pretty. I...don't know what to do with that. I can handle a compliment, sure, but this was...

"Hey, sorry, I don't wanna step over any lines..." Ted's smile faded after my lack of a response, resting his hands behind his back. "Oh no! I-I wouldn't mind it at all." I finally managed to speak up. I swear, I felt like a bashful damsel in those old transatlantic-accent films. "I mean, like, better this than sending everyone packing early, right?"

"Real flattering." Ted responded with a renewed smile and a chuckle, getting another sheepish blush from me. "Whatever works for everyone, I'm down for it."

Based on Tanner's knowing expression, I can tell he gathered something of use from whatever that exchange was. "I mean..." Tanner repeats again, as if to remind us he's also there with filler words before taking in a sharp breath of realization, or maybe it was one of acceptance, I couldn't tell. Either way, he had an idea. "OK, how about this: most of the crew didn't get breakfast on the way up here and we're all gettin' pretty hungry, we could use some caffeine. How about you two head back out and get everyone something from Dunkin' or wherever? Get talkin', see if it works."

"You setting us up on a breakfast run, or a date?" I collect myself fast enough to make a joke, actually getting a decent chuckle out of Ted. Part of me couldn't believe I had even made that joke aloud, I was also kind of genuinely asking. "I am testing the chemistry." Tanner clarified slowly with a half smile. "And I...don't want to do it myself."

Ted and I look at each other, giving me a brief moment to realize Ted's eyes are brown. Don't know why I've chosen to collect that information now. Just another observation I've made for the day.

...Man, I'm hungry.

"Alright, but I'm not driving your car." I agree with a shrug. "No need, I got my Tacoma." Ted responds, making a clicking noise with his mouth and gesturing me to follow him outside.

"You...have your city in Washington?" I ask genuinely, getting another laugh out of him, not intentionally this time. "Toyota Tacoma. My truck." He corrects me, guiding me to an old dark green pick-up truck. "I've had this baby since high school. Graduated with it."

"Ahh, your high school sweetheart. Lovely. Happy to meet her."

"Fuck off" Ted jokingly scoffs, hopping into the drivers seat. I have this big grin on my face as I get into the passenger side. He's giving me this...oddly comforting vibe. I can talk and joke with this guy so naturally, like I've known him for longer than an hour.

Somehow, I get the feeling we'll get along just fine, even if I'll end up having to kiss him once or twice this month....

....That's got me thinking, how many times am I kissing this guy again?

__________________________________

|| Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 || Chapter 16 || Chapter 17 || Chapter 18 (smut) || Chapter 19 ||

[hairstevington]

Do I wanna know?

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Somewhere in the multiverse, there is a world where everyone has a choice - If you had the option of reading a list of everyone who's ever been in love with you, would you do it?

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Modern day AU sort of?? It's not based in realism, just go with it. Best friends to lovers, Robin & Steve & Eddie all live together because I said so, mutual pining, fluff, confession of feelings, lots of denial but they figure it out eventually

A/N: This idea came to me during my stats class, and then it became very difficult to continue focusing on my stats class. (I wrote it as soon as we were dismissed lol). Enjoy this cute little Steddie one shot! Ao3 link here :)

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“Dude, did you see what they just announced?” Steve asked as he played video games with Eddie.

“Yeah, it’s some wild shit,” Eddie replied. “How is it even possible?”

“I think it’s fake,” Robin called from the kitchen as she made them all pizza rolls. 

“Not fake,” Steve insisted. “I was reading about it on the internet and a bunch of people are saying it’s legit.”

“Well, if you read it on the internet, it must be true,” Robin remarked sarcastically. 

“Whatever,” Steve said. “I’m gonna get mine and find out.”

The deal was that, somehow, everyone had the option of getting a list of statistics about their lives. It was advertised with a variety of categories to look through - some of them could have been retrieved through bank statements and background checks, like the number of countries visited, money spent, etc. Other categories (let’s be real, the most intriguing categories), were far more mysterious.

Number of near-death experiences. Every book you’ve read, with a total word count. And, the most exciting of the bunch - How many people have been in love with you, and who.

“Don’t waste your money or your time,” Eddie said with a roll of his eyes. “It’s bullshit. Probably just another way for the government to squeeze more money out of us.”

“Come on, it’s not some conspiracy, Eds,” Steve replied. “I’m just curious, that's all.”

“Oh, I bet,” Robin chimed in. “Just be honest and admit you want to know about the love thing. You and your ego, Dingus.” Steve smiled. He couldn’t argue with her.

“As if you’re not also dying to read yours,” he countered. 

“I’m pretty sure mine would just hurt my feelings,” Robin said with a sigh. “Robin Buckley - loved by her platonic soulmate Steve Harrington and Creepy Carl from band camp.” Eddie snickered.

“Carl wasn’t that creepy,” he said. 

“You’re only saying that because you were also kind of creepy in high school,” she replied. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Eddie responded with a shrug. “But I think I speak for all former creeps when I say we were just socially stunted and awkward. Most of us grew up to be half-decent people.”

“Way to humble brag,” Steve teased. 

“I’m bragging by saying I’m half-decent?” Eddie replied. Steve laughed and nodded. Meanwhile, Robin quickly scrolled through her phone until she stumbled across what she was looking for with a gasp.

“Oh my god,” she said. “Creepy Carl’s most recent post is about how the patriarchy is a myth.” Steve laughed again and pushed Eddie playfully. Eddie flopped over on the couch and groaned.

“Dammit, Carl, I was rooting for you!” he joked. 

“We were all rooting for you, how dare you!” the three of them shouted in unison. 

That was, of course, a reference to America’s Next Top Model, which Robin showed the boys clips of one night during a rant about the toxicity and absolute batshit nature of early 2000s reality TV. That quote, for whatever reason, stuck. They had a lot of inside jokes like that.

This is how life had been for the three of them the last few years. They’d become best friends straight out of high school, then all moved in together. Life was comfortable and nice. 

-

Steve somehow convinced Robin that they would both get their lists together. Eddie, on the other hand, downright refused.

“I don’t need any of that shit,” he insisted. “It’s not gonna do me any good, and I’m perfectly fine staying in the dark.”

“Okay, I get it,” Steve said, holding his hands up. “You’re scared and lame, that’s totally okay.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, dickhead,” he replied. “This whole thing is stupid anyway. And - and it’s not like we can seriously trust whatever it says. It’s probably just…all lies, anyway.”

“Yeah, but they’re fun lies,” Robin countered. “It’s like hearing gossip about your own life.”

“Exactly!” Steve agreed. “It’s just for fun.”

“Have your fun, then,” Eddie said devilishly. “I’ll be in my room, not being an idiot.”

Robin and Steve put their names and date of birth into a search engine and, within five minutes, each had their respective documents in their inboxes. Steve opened his immediately and eagerly, skipping past all the boring shit until he found the good stuff. 

Number of people who have had crushes on Steve Harrington: 436.

Number of people who have been in love with Steve Harrington: 85.

“Holy shit,” he muttered, looking at the long list of names. He looked up from his phone to see Robin staring at the wall. “Why aren’t you reading?”

“I don’t think I can do it,” she said. “I’m chickening out.” Steve scoffed. 

“What? Robs, come on. You already ordered the damn thing.”

“Yeah, but -” She sighed. “But now it’s, like, real.”

“Do you want me to read yours for you?” he asked. She shook her head. 

“No, I think I’m just going to keep it unread for now,” she decided. Steve shrugged.

“Okay, if that’s what you want.” Robin scooted herself over on the couch so she could look at Steve’s phone screen. 

“Wait, they even have crushes on there?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Jeez, Harrington. That’s quite the list.” Steve smirked, realizing it very much did give him an ego boost. He continued scrolling to see even more categories.

Number of people Steve Harrington has had a crush on: 63.

Jesus, Steve thought to himself. That’s kind of embarrassing. In his defense, some of them were celebrities. He continued reading.

Number of people Steve Harrington has been in love with: 3.

Steve didn’t even have to read the list to know who was on it. He quickly clicked his phone off before Robin could see.

“Hey!” she said. “What was that for? It’s not like there are any secrets between us.”

“No, I just - I’ll read it later,” Steve said. 

Robin would usually be right. She was almost completely right. It’s just that Steve had one secret. And it wasn’t even really a secret, it was just something he kept to himself, because it didn’t really matter. 

Nancy Wheeler

Robin Buckley

Eddie Munson

He had barely admitted it to himself, honestly. It’s not like anything would happen. Him and Eddie were best friends, and if something was going to happen between them, it would have already happened. Now, they were too close, and living together. It was different. It didn’t matter. Besides, Robin was on his list, and he wasn’t running off to date her.

Steve put his phone away and didn’t check the list again for a couple days. 

-

“So, how’s the list?” Eddie asked one morning as he made a pot of coffee. “You haven’t said anything about it.” Steve shrugged.

“It’s like a million pages long,” Robin chimed in. Eddie clicked his tongue against his teeth.

“That’s not surprising,” he said. “It’s a shame Harrington isn’t much of a reader. It might take him years to get through.” Steve glared at Eddie, who grinned in response.

“Are you ever going to stop poking fun at me about that?” he wondered. 

“Aaaaabsolutely not,” Eddie replied. “Steve, The Hobbit is 310 pages. 310. Even one page a day you would have been done in a year, and you’re still not done.”

“Okay, listen,” Steve responded defensively. “It’s not my kind of book, alright?”

“He likes the ones with the pictures,” Robin teased. Eddie laughed and high-fived her. 

“Wooow, okay,” Steve replied. “I see how it is. I’m just gonna grab my cereal and go, then.”

“Nooo, don’t leave on our behalf,” Eddie said.

“We’re soorrrryyyyyy,” Robin added. Steve chuckled and shook his head. 

“Whatever,” he resigned. “I haven’t read the damn list. Not all of it, anyway.” Robin’s ears perked up.

“But you’ve read some of it, right?” she asked. “Spill!”

“Just the first ten names or so,” Steve said. He had gotten a glimpse when he skimmed over it the first time. “I think it’s in chronological order.”

“Anyone surprising?” Eddie wondered. Steve shook his head. 

“No,” he said. “Although it did confirm my suspicion that Katie Crystal was into me, after all.”

“I’m thinking maybe I should read mine,” Robin said quietly.

“Yeah, well duh,” Eddie replied. “You paid for it.”

“It’s just - it’s not a big deal, right?” Steve looked at Eddie to survey his reaction. Eddie just shrugged. “It’s like you said, Eds. We don’t even know if it’s accurate.”

Steve didn’t really know if all of it was accurate, but some of it sure as shit was.

“Exactly,” Eddie agreed. “So, Steve, there’s a chance that Katie Crystal actually hated your guts. Who’s to say?”

Steve rolled his eyes. Another few days passed. 

Robin flip-flopped between whether or not she wanted to read her list every few hours or so. Steve and Eddie placed their bets on how long it would take her to crack. 

Meanwhile, Steve counted his lucky stars that Eddie decided not to buy his list. It was clear that they were bros and nothing more, so Eddie finding out would have made everything incredibly weird.

This was for the best.

-

Things carried on as they usually did, until one day Steve was so bored, he decided to revisit the godforsaken document. Plus, he’d been on a few dates that ended in disaster, and reading about the hundreds of people that were into him was bound to put him in good spirits.

He had no idea just how right he was.

The names were all relatively normal. Steve tended to know when girls had a thing for him, especially back in high school. There were some names he didn’t recognize, which meant that there were total strangers crushing on him. He wondered how that was even possible. Like, at that point, they were just basing it on looks and vibes alone. 

Eh. Steve had crushes on people in the past over less. He kept reading.

He made his way down the list until he reached Eddie’s name. He read it again and again to make sure he was seeing it right. 

Eddie had said repeatedly that this thing could be total bullshit, though. Steve had to take it all with a grain of salt. Besides, crushes meant nothing. Hell, Steve was pretty sure Eddie had mentioned once that he thought Steve was hot when they first became friends. 

Steve made his way to the list of people who’d loved him. None of the names mattered except one. 

Eddie Munson. 

“Oh, shit,” Steve muttered. “Oh, shit!” He jumped up out of bed and paced the floor. He had no idea what to do with this information.

It could be bullshit. It could be nothing. 

Or maybe, Eddie had kept saying it was bullshit because he knew what Steve would find. 

“OH MY GOD.”

Robin came bursting into Steve’s room a few moments later. 

“What? What’s going on?” she said. She looked to see his phone on the floor and his hands in his hair. “Oh my god, you read it! What was it? What’s got you all freaked out?”

“I gotta - uhh - I gotta -” He didn’t know how to finish that sentence with Robin in the room. He had to find Eddie - that’s what he had to do. But his head was spinning too much to do so. 

“That’s it. I’m gonna read mine right now,” Robin decided. She swiftly left to go back to her room while Steve continued to pace. 

“Holy shit,” he said to himself. He thought about it for a few minutes, scrawled something on a piece of paper, and then walked down the hall to Eddie’s room.

Eddie opened the door a few inches, still wearing his sweatpants. He hadn’t left his room yet that day, but his guitar was lying on his bed, which meant he’d been practicing. 

“What’s up?” Eddie asked. 

“I finished the list,” Steve replied. Eddie’s jaw clenched just enough for Steve to notice, and then he shrugged. 

“And?” Steve continued to look at Eddie until he broke his composure. He sighed, then opened his door wider. “Come in,” he said. 

Steve had been in Eddie’s bedroom a million times. They’d watched movies in there and stayed up all night talking and smoked together and dear sweet lord I am so dumb for never noticing.

“Is it bullshit?” Steve asked. Eddie started spinning the ring on his middle finger anxiously, refusing to make eye contact.

“Uhh, is what bullshit?” Eddie replied. Steve put his hands on his hips and cocked his head. 

“Come on, you know what I’m talking about,” he said. “I just - is it bullshit? Tell me the truth.”

Eddie stared at him for a few long moments before gently shaking his head. 

“It’s not bullshit.”

Steve’s hands fell back to his sides, and he felt himself get lightheaded. 

“It’s -” he began, struggling to find the words. He cleared his throat. “Wow, I uh -”

“It doesn’t matter, though,” Eddie interjected. “Just so you know. I like what we have. We’re, ya know, we’re friends. Roommates.”

“Do you still -?” Steve started to ask. He noticed Eddie’s eyes flooded with fear, a sight he rarely saw. “I mean, do you still?”

“Steve, I -” Eddie began, his voice tired. “I really, uh. I don’t know what to say.” 

Steve dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper he’d ripped from his notebook. He held it out for Eddie to take, and when Eddie didn’t reach for it, Steve stepped closer and stuffed the page right into Eddie’s hand. 

“Read it,” Steve encouraged.

“What is it?”

“It’s your list.” Eddie’s faced scrunched with confusion. “Yeah, I made it myself.” 

“I told you, I don’t wanna know,” he said, trying to give the paper back to Steve.

“Trust me, you do.”

Eddie sighed, then unfolded the paper and read it. 

People who are in love with Eddie Munson:

-Me

-(Steve Harrington)

Steve waited and watched Eddie’s eyes travel up and down the page, similar to the way Steve’s had when he read Eddie’s name on his own list. Finally, Eddie looked up. 

“Really?” he asked, his voice soft. Steve smiled and nodded. 

“Really.”

In that moment, they both knew this changed everything, and yet it changed nothing at all. They’d just skipped a bunch of steps of dating - blown past the getting-to-know-you stage straight into living together and doing all the domestic shit. 

Eddie and Steve each stepped toward the other until their hands met. 

“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!”

Robin’s voice pierced through their intimate moment and completely obliterated it. The boys glanced at each other in confusion and then ran out to see what Robin was yelling about. 

She was already out the front door by the time they got to the kitchen. If this were a cartoon, she would have left behind a cloud of smoke. 

“What do you think that’s about?” Steve asked. Eddie felt his phone buzz and checked it to find Robin had texted a screenshot to the household group chat. He smirked.

“Vicki’s on her list,” Eddie said. Steve chuckled, happy that everyone managed to find their happy ending. 

“You know what that means?” Steve asked. 

“That you owe me 20 bucks?” Eddie teased.

“Well, that," Steve replied. "But is also means we’re alone in the apartment for a while." Eddie grinned and took Steve by the hand. 

“I like the way you think.”

They ran to Steve’s room together, and if the confession of love hadn’t already changed everything, sleeping together certainly did.

It was the good kind of change, though. The kind that moved mountains and cleared all the clouds from the sky. 

At last, the idiots were together. All it took was years of denial and one payment of $44.49.

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[yourstrulyhri]

Girl do you have any tips for emotional control 💀

i study as much as i can, but after 4.5 hours mark my brain starts to turn into 12 year old me and cry in fear when i try to study 🤠 i tried forcing myself to do it anyways, but it legit doesnt work at all and makes it worse

(our uni entrance exam systems are familiar, and im also trying to get into med school so just wanted to ask a fellow student ;))

first of all, hii!! thanks for the ask :) 💌

to answer your question, i really wish i had a definitive answer but unfortunately i don't. however, i'll try my best to summarise what's worked best for me, and what hasn't. because your struggles are definitely something i've struggled with, and still occassionally do lol.

might sound counter-productive, but when you feel yourself edging closer to a meltdown, just stop. that's your body letting know you've reached your limit. don't try to overexert yourself — you're usually most volatile by that point. hence as you said, forcing yourself makes it worse.

instead, close your books, take a break. do something you like. (that could be anything actually) usually i take a nap bc lol i love sleeping. also it helps me overcome that 'sluggishness' i feel after studying for long stretches.

okay, i'll be honest, pomodoro doesn't work on me. i've seen it work wonders on people, and for a while it made me feel insufficient because my 5 min breaks would often stretch out. and i'd lose that 'state of flow' that i'd gotten myself into. what has worked for me so far, is the 'eat the frog' method. it's definitely changed my outlook, and usually when you get done with harder tasks first things first, you'll stay motivated to finish the seemingly smaller tasks w/out forcing yourself.

try to tackle everything one step at a time. i cannot emphasize on this enough! it might seem efficient to get everything done in one sitting, and it may work for a day or two, but after that, you'll feel the burn out slowly creeping on you, and by day 6, you'll most likely feel like giving up what you started on. hence, going back to square 1. (at least for me)

if you have a big chunk of task, split it into 2-3 portions and do 1 portion a day. that way, it seems much less daunting, and you'll also find yourself feeling lighter, and more capable of doing multiple tasks in one day.

most of our brains are wired to experience boredom, and to crave something 'new', something 'challenging'. instead of dragging on with 1 subject a day (again, it might seem convenient to get it all done with in one sitting, but it never works well in the long run), split your time b/w multiple subjects throughout the day.

when you get bored of another subject, switch it up with another subject. i'd suggest switching to a subject you actually enjoy, it feels less burdensome. or you could just solve questions, instead of theory. i like solving qs because it's a lot more passive, and you can do active-recall as well.

that's everything i have for now, i really hope they're of help, even if little. wishing you all the best, let's crack med school together!! <3

[cassandra-allegra]

what is 2025 even??? we're almost done with january and yet it feels like i'm in this weird liminal space where life doesn't feel real

anyway, here's some random life updates:

-applied for a full time wfh position back in december that would've given me a significant bump in salary, probably secured us a house this year. ended up *not* getting that position. found that out after christmas, so that was great /s

-i've been consistently going to the gym for about 2 months now. so far i've lost about 12 lbs and 3 inches off my waistline. while the weight loss is a huge part of it, really my main goal is to do basic stuff like being able to walk long distances without pain, go up a flight of stairs without being winded, etc. also i want to get strong enough to carry my wife bridal style. i can deadlift 60lbs (!!!) so uhh...170lbs more to go

-i did end up hurting my knee during one of my workouts (bursitis to be exact) and had to take a month off the gym. turns out, if you have weak muscles, your joints will try to overcompensate! wow! thankfully PT has been helping immensely. it's not completely gone but it's better and i'm cleared to keep working out.

-started hormone therapy for my PMDD (premenstral dysphoric disorder). it's been life changing. turns out my depression is hormone related, who knew?!

-i'm doing another yearly reading challenge this year. i was a little ambitious last year and failed to reach my goal of 36 books so i'm lowering it back to 24. i'm trying to be really conscious of what i spend my time on this year and i really want to be able to make time for my creative projects and workouts while also keep my reading goals. so, 24 seems like a good amount for me to be able to do all of that. i hope, lol.

-i've been enjoying bluesky as of late, esp. with the mass migration a couple months ago. i'm still slightly cautious with how i engage with it because i can feel my social anxiety slowly creeping up again but for now it's been a great way to connect with new and old friends.

-*edit* i forgot to add that I’ve been getting the urge to write again??? which i legit haven’t felt in over 5 years so yay! now i don’t think any of them will be seeing the light of day but it’s nice to feel inspired again

[scarfacemarston]

Legit Question

I'm not trying to start arguments and I know I sound crazy. I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed to have the thought, but it just popped into my head and I just want someone logical. If an actor plays mostly assholes and villains, do you ever wonder about them as a person? I know it's just pretend and it's a job, but I'm genuinely curious if it ever makes you wonder what they're like in real life. I've loved Sebastian Stan since Captain America the First Avenger. I love his early work in Political Animals, Kings, and some others from that era. He's the face claim for my OC I've had for like...4 years, but he seriously plays almost nothing but assholes and or villains. Like legit so many abusers. I AM NOT SAYING HE'S ABUSIVE AND NEVER WOULD. I am not saying he's legit a killer or anything crazy like that. That would be wild. I am saying, do you all think there is a connection between actors and the roles they play? As in a darkness or creep factor or something like that. Like there are a lot of roles in that person's filmography? And there are other examples in the world of acting, too! Am I thinking too much about it? I don't know him in real life, to be fair and no one else does. I don't want to know him or any other celeb. Maybe he just likes challenging roles? IDK. But it's making me wonder if I should change his face claim. I've essentially written a book length thing about a character with his appearance in mind. It's been bothering me. I've been getting some creepy vibes because of it. Do people get normal good vibes from him? (Knowing again that we don't know him.) I know I'll probably separate Bucky and Sebastian Stan at this point, but that's kind of hard to do. Again, I do not hate him. I don't know him. To explain my craziness: I'm Romanian so I legit get shit about Sebastian Stan every time someone finds out I'm from there so it's impossible to escape for good or for bad. Sometimes it's cool things sometimes it's not. To be fair, I think that's why this bothers me? People hate Romanians so much and I've been called horrible names like g^psy, been stopped by police for no reason, been nearly denied entry into places like the UK, told to go home back to my country, I'm stealing jobs etc. There's been a lot of shame being Romanian So I think that's why it feels a little more personal as far as who represents Romania. At the same time, I understand the idea of someone representing a country maynot be fair, but that's kind of how it is? I guess I just want the world to have like....one good Romanian example. I know I sound crazy, but I'm genuinely curious.

[jetwhenitsmidnight]

She's Always Hungry: Stories by Eliza Clark

Release date: 12 November 2024

Genre: adult horror/weird fiction short story collection

Synopsis

Moving from California to Newcastle, from Frontier-era America to an unexplored planet in the near future, from a pub down the road to an incel-occupied office IT department, She’s Always Hungry revels in every aspect of being human.

Unsettling, revelatory, and laced with her signature dark humor, Eliza Clark's debut short story collection plumbs the depths of that most basic human feeling: hunger.

Review

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC!

These stories range from straightforward to weird to weirder.

Usually, I find that short story collections will inevitably have a few duds, but I enjoyed everything in this collection.

A lot of these stories are written in a darkly humorous tone, which threw me off initially, but it really grew on me. I love the contrast between the tone and the contents of the stories.

My favourites were the scifi horror stories Hollow Bones and Extinction Event. After reading these I went to double check if the author had written any full length scifi books because these were soo good. Like, these aren't groundbreaking, but the author introduces them in a way that makes it easy to quickly grasp, and she creates an atmosphere that is truly chilling.

I have to mention Shake Well, which legit gave me the creeps. It's like sort of mundane and also sort of horrifying, with the body horror in this being the most unnerving to me from this collection, possibly because it hits a little closer to home.

I am also obsessed with The King, which is an absurd genderbent incel power fantasy. I think people might hate this story, but the absurdity of it, plus the writing style, was so ridiculously entertaining. I also liked the cannibalism and gore.

There's a content guide at the back of my eARC, which is much appreciated, as some of these stories can be quite dark/gory, and the content guide covers the necessary warnings in detail.

Overall, the writing is engaging and accessible, and there's something for everyone. I will definitely check out the author's other works.

Content Guide

These are screenshots from the content guide, which covers the content warnings for each story in depth.

Some of them are spoilery, but if you need to be warnings for certain topics, especially for body image issues, eating disorders, sexual assault, or gore/body horror, I would advise checking the guide.

[raevenlywrites]

Time for more The Magnus Archives! Todays listen starts with episode 21: Free Fall through 22: Colony 23: Schwarrzwhatever skipped bc historical shit bores me, 24: Strange Music 25: Growing Dark, 26: A Distortion, 27: A sturdy lock and finally 28: Skintight

(prev episodes here)

Free Fall

Martin! I almosr skipped this one bc one of my fears is "im in a situation i cant walk/climb/swim away from", but my hands were full so i just let it go. and we get an interruption! i love those

Colony

Okay. So I love Martin right off the bat for unfair meta reasons and for pretty legit diagetic reasons. One, I have a fondness for Alex's voice from listening to Rusty Quill Gaming. I always hear him playing this one shot himbo paladin of Apollo, and it always makes me grin. So im just flat predisposed to feel favorably to anyone voiced by Alex.

But two, so far Jon has been presented as kind of prickly. He sounds unpleasant to give statements to, wretched for work for, and particularly hard on Martin. Maybe its justified, maybe not, we havent had a chance to know. So now we get Martin "on camera" and he is immediately cast as pathetic and aligned with the reader: creeped out by all this spooky shit. He goes on to be a very good boy, doing scary shit bc he knows he needs to do a better job for his boss.

And then, brilliantly, Jon subverts this dick boss vibe thats been building by offering a room to Martin. He takes Martin's concerns very seriously, because he takes legitimate archives concerns very seriously. Weve seen hints of this with his reactions to things like the Lightner books, but this is the first time hes reacted with a sense of urgency. its a ramping up of the tension, now that weve established the tone of the work and some truths about the world. its really interesting that this shit isnt in response to dreamer, a direct threat to his predecessor, but rather a direct threat to one of his subordinates. It says some interesting things about Jon's character, and shifts my expectations on how he might react to future incidents.

ugh. im remembering the other reason why listening to this at work was a no go. The sound mixing on this is so bad that even with my headphones cranked all the way up, i can't hear shit :/

Schwartzwhatever skipped due to disinterest in historicals, let me know if im missing any vital clues or fun interruption scenes

Strange Music

Not much to say about this one, although it was fun to listen to Sasha and Jon lampshade the problems of audio media and regional pronounciations of Calliope. Has anyone ever actually heard it pronounced Callie ope (like cantaloupe)?

Growing Dark

So, i happened to go back and listen to 9: A fathers love, while trying to calibrate my headphones, and what a happy accident that I did! Hello, The Peoples Church of The Divine Host! Also, connection to Gertrude's "death" (still not 100 that she's dead, just gone)

Flag: TPCotDH, episodes 9: A fathers love and 25: Growing Dark

A distortion

Sasha! This is another one where my experiences with Rusty Quill gaming make me predisposed to like and trust Sasha. But since Jon also seems to trust her, that makes me more inclined to believe their opinion of Martin as a bit of a klutz, the one you trip when youre running from a bear, most likely to be the first casuality

Very curious about Michael, cant help but wonder if theyre going to lean into angelic mythology or not. Tuck that in my folder of "things to wait and see about"

A Sturdy Lock

By all rights this one SHOULD get to me. I dont remember if it did on my first listen, but this time around all I really care about is wondering from a writer perspective if all these "other statements" that get mentioned every now and again are already written/planned, or just mechanism to add to the sense of a larger world. And from a reader figuring shit out perspective, I'm starting to wonder if the archive is such a mess maybe on purpose. Like, was Gertrude a baddy (/IS a baddy????). Or maybe Martin is not as inept as he seems and is secretly moving things about 🧐

Skintight

I LOVE that this one isnt actually about a grey lady. its really fun how they like to set up common tropes and then sideswipe them XD. Plus its a real treat to hear two actors play off of each other. That works so much better for me than suspending my disbelief that grumpy old Jarchivist is recording these statements with such emotion XD

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Wow that FEH book just ended like that. Spoiler if you care about this book

A whole year of assassination plot that quickly dropped to climb this tree for 2/3rds the story to reach the top where the 'sympatheric villain' is.

While it's tragic that the tree dude's family died as they did, I find it hard to believe it at all. The god of the world tree that connects all realms gets caught by a sick old man and is trapped by what? Metal bars? Dude literally had a speech about us not being strong enough and you expect me to.have some old king be stronger then PROTAGONIST? Not to mention that 3/5 of the kids are absolute units of power. And then at the end "BTW I killed myself a long time ago and I'm.jist an echo of his hanger in a dying tree branch. Anyway, have the cure and I one upped your sisters" like this is the most half hassed story I've seen, let alone tragic end.

Legit it would have made more sense if the summoner opened a portal like the tree guy wanted, only for his power to fade while entering the world, his form unstable as he reaches out to a world that holds the memory of his family, how his happiness was before him all along, even if fake, life given to those who are on deaths door can still grow into people he cares about. And keep the sacrifices and tragic ends Ratataskor's sisters took as scars that won't heal from the cycle of abuse tree guy put them through.

This is the worst FEH book so far, from the speed of power creep, to the story. It just sucked. I hope the next book doesn't fumble so hard and actually faces the Odin plot the game had building up in the earlier books

.

[spraypaintstainonawhitewall]

✨INTRO POST ✨

Hey yall the name's Icarus (or Saturn or Zero im not very particular), I use any pronouns, im as old as taylor swift's debut album and my chemical romance's black parade

I am in wayy too many fandoms and I won't create separate blogs for all of them. enjoy.

basic dni if youre homophobic, transphobic, sexist, ableist, r-slur users (its not "reclamation". stop.), racist, zionist, ai users and promoters or a creep just dont come near me. this is 100% not a space for you. also dni if you ship waycest, venomcest or if youre a gaylor. and dni if you hate any of my interests. im not gonna bother with you so dont waste your energy.

also 100% dnf if youre under or are thirteen (though i think that kinda goes without saying) and maybe think twice before following if youre under 15.

i do occassionally rb sex related stuff. block the tag 'cw sex' if youre uncool with it. nothing too explicit but better safe than sorry

but otherwise

trigger happy with the block button

DMs: send me an ask if you legit wanna talk (if we aren't already moots)

Asks: always open

tags/tag games: please

also if I don't answer your asks or if you tagged me in anything and i havent done anything about it it's nothing against you I'm either just thinking of a good response or I forgot that i didnt respond to it yet. its a 50/50 chance.

tagging system: its a work in progress but if im yapping i tag it with #hey im talkin here, asks with #asks (ill come up with something better later), and anything else appropriately

my ao3 is @/downtown_fangirl please go read my fics i spend a lot of time on them (you can find me talking about them and the lore on here on #fic talks) (more or less)

my ig is @/iliketosuffertwice.creatively but im rarely ever active on there

! ! IN THE FACE OF EXTERMINATION SAY FUCK YOU ! !

anyways, fandom rundown list (note that this is not a spoiler free blog for any of these):

and i do blog about all these. if you have a problem with any of it block the tag or gtfo.

Music: My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Taylor Swift, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, Chappell Roan, Alec Benjamin, Dove Cameron, Green Day, Pierce the Veil, Black Veil Brides, Billie Eilish, The Neighborhood, Mad Tsai, Em Beihold, Cigarettes After Sex, Panic! at the Disco (technically just Fever), Sabrina Carpenter, Daisy Grenade

Books/Shows: Percy Jackson, Shadowhunters, Grishaverse, The Umbrella Academy, Heartstopper, Merlin, Young Royals, Good Omens, All for the game, Hunger Games, AGGGTM, Dead Boy Detectives, Lockwood and Co., I am not okay with this, probably more but i cant think. you'll know. Misc: the wonderful album that is Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys by My Chemical Romance and the comics by Gerard Way (note I have not read Nat Am). I love this concept album and these funky little desert gays with all my heart. talk to me about them any time (please <3)

[tyguy275]

FORUMS

<yo check out these pictures. wacky shit, can someone verify this is shopped?>

<img ID: A brightly lit kitchen with marble countertops and a white tile backsplash. A bowl of fruit sits on the island, and a cutting board with half-cut vegetables sits on the counter.>

<img ID: A well furnished and tidied room, with bright blue painted walls and a matching blue crocheted blanket. Several pictures of a family sit on the nightstand to the left of the bed.>

<img ID: A living room with open windows, letting in lots of natural lighting. A young adult, dressed in casual wear, sits on the couch to the left side of the picture reading a book, seemingly unaware of the photo being taken.>

<img ID: A dining room with a large wooden table stained dark brown, set for a meal. A white table runner sits along the length of the piece, with a vase of flowers in the middle.>

date: 7/19/2018

user: anon295720174

<re: anon295720174 dude this shit is insane. i’m a graphic design major and i can’t tell if anything was messed with, there’s a lot to unpack here. look at that kitchen dude, the place is a mess. that’s freaky 100% lmk if you find any more pictures>

date: 7/26/2018

user: anon482947389

<re: anon482947389 i found these on a usb drive under my dresser while i was packing to move out. haunted? been looking through zillow at old houses but i haven’t found anything that matches this floor plan. i’ll keep looking but no i haven’t found any more pictures. if anyone bumps make sure to tag both of us>

date: 8/2/2018

user: anon295720174

<re: anon295720174, anon482947389 yooo yo yo yo i was messing with the exposure and i found some wackyyyy shittttt. look, i jumped up the brightness of the bedroom and noticed something on the nightstand. not sure if edited but looks raw as hell>

<img ID: A pixelated and highly exposed picture of the nightstand from the bedroom, zoomed in on the family pictures. The leftmost picture reveals what looks to be a three person portrait, with two larger figures, presumably parents, on either side. The middle picture shows a baby, smiling happily while crawling toward the camera. The background of the picture shows it was part of a photo shoot. The rightmost picture is one of two people embracing each other in what may be a kiss.>

date: 8/3/2018

user: anon028482593

<re: anon028482593, anon295720174 that’s freaky as hell dude. what the fuck is that in the middle picture? i can’t really tell because it’s too pixelated, but that’s definitely what i see when i enhance the exposure. that’s fuckin insaneeeeee

who the fuck would be brave enough to go in there to take these? definitely not me, i get the creeps looking at them through my computer.>

date: 8/6/2018

user: anon482947389

<re: anon295720174, anon028482593, anon482947389 This thread will lock in 48 hours if no further messages are sent.>

date: 8/4/2019

user: System

<re: anon028482593, anon295720174 holy shit i forgot about this thread. dude these are spooky as hell. i don’t remember them being this bad. look at the fucking dining table it’s warped to shit. and those flowers are obviously gonna be wilted but there’s something eerie about them. thoughts?>

date: 8/4/2019

user: anon482947389

<re: anon482947389, anon028482593 nah i didn’t forget. i had some nightmares about it for a couple nights but i just chalked it up to whatever the fuck was happening in those pictures and moved on. looking at it again though, what the fuck happened here?>

date: 8/7/2019

user: anon295720174

<re: anon295720174, anon482947389, anon028482593 uh, guys? where did you get these pictures? that’s ME in the living room. that’s fucking terrifying. please dm me and let’s figure this out because i’m legit scared>

date: 8/12/2019

user: anon394828152 (You)

<re: anon394828152 (You), anon028482593, anon482947389 bro are you buggin? your text got fucked up looks like some ascii shit. i ran it through google translate and got jack>

date: 8/14/2019

user: anon295720174

<re: anon295720174, anon394828152 (You), anon482947389 yo anyone see that in the corner of the living room??? that’s FREAKY dude. no way this isn’t photoshopped, you sure? what the fuck is that even supposed to be? between this and the fucked up message, this thread is a horror heritage post>

<img ID: A zoomed in and pixelated picture of a young adult in casual wear, reading a book. He is looking down and seems to be unaware of the picture being taken.>

date: 8/15/2019

user: anon028482593

<re: anon028482593, anon295720174, anon482947389 what the fuck? are my messages fucking up? they look fine for me. i don’t know what the fuck is going on with you guys but that’s my house and THAT’S ME. i’m not fucking with you here’s a picture of me for proof. i’m that desperate. please delete this thread asap>

<img ID: A young man looking into the camera. His expression seems to be of concern, and he has short brown hair and wears a buttoned flannel. The profile of the person very closely matches that of the person in the living room.>

date: 8/15/2019

user: anon394828152 (You)

<anon394828152 (You), anon028482593, anon295720174 WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING HOLY SHIT i’m never coming back to this fucking thread dude what the fuuuuck was in that picture. that’s viscerally terrifying. holy fuuuuck>

date: 8/15/2019

user: anon482947389

<anon295720174, anon394828152 (You), anon028482593, anon482947389 This thread has been locked by the Original Poster.>

date: 8/15/2019

user: System

[seasealwaters]

It's just rude how I have yet to see a Now You See Me! Six of Crows AU.

NO BUT WAIT, WAIT. Bear with me. The Crows as illusionists and magicians brought together to create elaborate performances that may or may not be a way to extract revenge on a few people (Jan, Heleen, and Pekka, we're looking at you) and steal a lot of money in the process. The group could be either formed by Kaz himself, or like in the movie, they're brought together by a mysterious individual for a job (in this, it could be Jan to commit the equivalent of the Ice Court Heist, until the Crows turn back on him).

Like. Imagine. Kaz would definitely be an amazing escape artist and the master mind of the operations. He would have the best sleight of hand ever. With his flair for dramatics, I think he would also be a great performer, and have a whole "character" for the show: you know, Dirtyhands, with his all black clothes, raspy voice, dry wit, slight smirk, scary monologues and taunts. He's not even pretending, really, but it works really well on stage, and the public loves it, loves when he's taunting them, and legit creeping them out.

Inej would be into the escape thing as well, and she would love the tricks where she vanishes and then apparates in a different corner of the room, or just behind someone in the audience (they wouldn't even notice until one the Crows points it out or Inej taps them on the shoulder. The number of times they almost had to call an ambulance because she legit gives them heart attacks). I feel like she would also be a contortionist who's able to fit in small boxes and cupboards, to the point where you start to ask yourself if she even has bones. She would incorporate acrobatics in her performances.

Jesper would love flashy tricks with cards, coins, and so on. I know that sleight of hand is more Kaz's thing in the book, but I feel like it would suit him well, too. Kind of like the Jack Wilder of the group. He would do tricks with guns, bullets and shooting, of course. Also, I feel like he would be the one the Crows rely on to distract the crowd, to catch, hold, and redirect their attention where it's needed. Kaz is good at that, too, but Jesper is really the one who can put them at ease and charm them (especially if it's a single person or a few they call on stage).

Wylan would handle technical aspects: light, flash bombs, smoke bombs, fireworks, visual and sound effects, music and sound, material, etc. I think he would know exactly what type of soundtrack and light to choose to create maximum effect and efficiently hold/distract the crowd's attention. I don't see him as a main performer, but I think there would be one memorable occasion where he would "blow himself up" or set fire to himself on stage and then reapparate, completely fine. It remains one of the Crows' most watched performances.

Nina would definitely be the Merritt McKinney of the group. She would be all about hypnosis and mentalism, and I know that real-life hypnotism doesn't work like it's portrayed in the movie, but let's just pretend. With her knowledge of anatomy and medicine (she could be an ex med student or nurse), she would know exactly how to use the human body, mind, and blood flow to her advantage – it would be a nice parallel to her canon powers. She knows how to gather information from her targets, is amazing at subtle interrogation, and she, too, would be very good at charming the crowd (her and Jesper as a the sexiest bi duo ever). Also, I think she would fight tooth and nail to incorporate a dramatic quick change sequence on stage. ("Nina, we don't need that." "Shut up, Kaz, you don't understand, I have been waiting my entire LIFE for this moment").

I admit, I have trouble deciding what Matthias would do in this universe. Like Wylan, I don't see him as a main performer, I think he would remain more in the shadows and act as an assistant to the others (catching Inej, helping Nina change, setting Wylan's material, etc.). If the Crows need animals for their show, he's definitely the one to take care of them. However, in the books, he is our guys' main source of information on the Ice Court, and I feel like in a modern au, he would parallel this: he would be the one tasked with research on the Mark, digging up everything about them, their background, family, habits, the lay outs of a place the Crows intend to rob, etc.

Or alternatively: Matthias is their inside man in the FBI. This would work even better, I think. So yes, he's the Dylan Rhodes of the AU, minus the revenge.

Feel free to add anything if you have other ideas!