#this book has a special place in my heart because it reminds me of our first dog

[hazel-janes-books-galore]

1975 edition of How to Train Your Puppy by Kurt Unkelbach. 

[itsscriptory]

Another Post About Showing and Telling

I feel like it’s a rite of passage for a writing blog to talk about show, don’t tell, so I’ll take a crack at it. 

First of all, to get it out of the way, show, don’t tell is good advice for specific situations, but it’s been taken to mean always show, never tell and that’s not helpful. If you really want to paint with broad brushstrokes, then the better advice would be: Show more than tell. Showing and telling should both be tools in your writer’s toolbox. 

But why should we show more than tell? Because showing is the key to the reader's emotional experience with your story. There are many posts and books out there that go over how to turn your telling into showing (like using active verbs instead of passive, for example, or using concrete, specific details in your descriptions), but I think it’s important to fully digest why we’re making those changes and why the reasoning will push us to become better writers. 

It all comes down to emotion. Writing For Emotional Impact by Karl Iglesias encourages writers to start thinking to themselves: “I’m in the emotion-delivery business, and my job is to evoke emotions in a reader.” Dialogue, theme, setting, pacing, character development, word choice, structure, POV, showing and telling. These are all tools a writer uses in varying proportions to best manipulate a reader’s emotions. The good news is that when a reader picks up a book, they’re willing to be manipulated. In fact, they hope to be. The tough news is that you have to deliver on a sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph, scene by scene, and chapter by chapter basis. But that’s okay, because you’re a writer, dammit, and this struggle is where the art of the craft is. 

Showing is where the emotional complexities of our characters, theme, and plot can be revealed gradually without giving too much away too early and robbing engagement from the reader. Showing is what makes the resolution and the journey satisfying. So you can see how much weight it carries and why we want more of that than telling. We’re trying to evoke emotion from the reader, not talk at them like we’re recounting a dream we had last night (yawn). And it’s easier to evoke emotion if we keep them curious. Engaged.

Part of revealing the story gradually through showing is planting evidence for a conclusion that you leave the reader to make themselves, or a conclusion that you will reveal later. Donald Maas in The Emotional Craft of Fiction writes, “The ingredient behind effective showing can be summed up in this word: subtext. When there’s a feeling we’re not being told, but it is evident anyway, that underlying feeling is the subtext. It’s the unspoken emotional truth.” And then a fandom is born and continues to thrive for decades after the show ended! Really, though. Subtext is an ingredient in showing, which fosters engagement, which makes the reader feel something. Sometimes passionately. Every story I love and keep coming back to in one form or another has that special place in my heart because of how it made me feel.

I’ll try to give a simple example here to illustrate subtext and reader engagement at work. Using setting and a couple action beats as an opportunity for subtext, let’s say a character and her sister arrive at their grandmother’s house. Character A remains standing in the corner when invited in, hugging herself, frowning at the green knitted blanket hanging over the couch that looks like the color of nausea. Character B walks easily into the living room, running her hand over the green blanket that reminds her of nature and wellness. In Character B's perspective, she admires her grandmother's craftiness. But it's only in Character's A perspective that we notice the store tag on the blanket. Who do we think has the better relationship with their grandmother, given the evidence? Which one seems more naïve or eager to see her grandmother in a certain light? What assumptions can we make about the grandmother? Might she be putting on a performance of being grandmotherly? The mental work the reader does here would be completely thwarted if the scene had started with “Hannah didn’t like her grandmother because she valued material wealth and appearances over forming a genuine connection with her family.” We can show that instead over time by filtering the world through the perspectives of our characters, and even making it pack an emotional punch if we’re strategic about it.

But I had mentioned that contrary to what show, don’t tell asks us to do, telling isn’t something we should throw away. It can be a tool in its own right. 

Telling is explaining, and explaining keeps people distant from what’s happening in the story. How many times has an “I love you” felt kinda meh in a story because that character hasn’t earned that confession by showing their love through their actions or making some sort of sacrifice? How many times have your eyes glazed over while reading the fourth paragraph of an info dump? How many times, when talking about a book you just read, have you said “well, the first 80 pages were slow…” because it was all backstory? Or maybe a story is entirely forgettable because the telling leaves nothing to the imagination. Donald Maas writes, “Put on a page what a character feels and there’s a pretty good chance that, paradoxically, what the reader feels is nothing.”

However, telling has one thing on showing: efficiency. If a book only showed, then it could go on forever and ever. So a writer has to learn how to weave both showing and telling into the story to control the pacing and delivery of information. If you want subtext or you want something to be vague on purpose, then you’ll probably want to show. If you want to deliver information quickly and with clarity, then you might want to try telling. Does it need to make logical sense to understand the upcoming scene? Maybe tell. Is this transition unimportant to the story and you don’t want to linger? Try telling and see how it works! Ask your beta readers how it worked for them. Of course, if you’re writing in the literary genre, you might be doing a whole lot of telling because what propels the reader to the next page and the next chapter is the form, the prose, and the sheer depth of the exploration of flawed characters. 

It’s all about balance. And practice. Next time you read a book and you find yourself moved, try to figure out how the author just evoked that feeling from you. Was it stated plainly, or was it shown through action? Was it stated plainly after a whole book’s worth of setup through subtext? Was it unexpected? What was the balance of showing and telling that led to it? Or, if you find your focus trailing off, try to figure out why. Then, when you’re editing your own work, you’ll have the tools you need to identify the weak points and make revisions. And it’s okay (even expected) if the perfect balance of showing and telling doesn’t occur in the first draft. The Artful Edit by Susan Bell (highly recommended) talks a lot about the revisions that went into The Great Gatsby. You'll find that his writing struggles are comfortingly familiar. Luckily, he certainly had a wonderful editor :)

For further reading/watching: 

[VIDEO] ShaelinWrites—Show, Don’t Tell | what it means and how to use it

[BOOK] Showing and Telling in Fiction by Marcy Kennedy [BOOK] A Writer’s Guide to Active Setting by Mary Buckham

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> yeowoosan x reader warning(s) -> mentions of abuse words -> 1.1K

I’ve never considered owning hybrids. 

I've always thought that they deserved to be free, and treated like people. Unfortunately in this state of politics it won't happen anytime soon.

Even then, the three hybrids who now live with me, almost seem like they wouldn’t operate on their own.

San… my pretty panther.

He's always been bad at leaving the apartment. When he does, he wears headphones. One's specialized for hybrids to cancel out noise. He can’t handle crowded places, sounds of screams happiness, or fear, or simple everyday noises like bells. You never notice how common it is until you have a hybrid flinch and grip you so hard it causes skin and clothes to rip. 

He’s exotic… and pretty but so so damaged. 

He’s never wanted to sit down and talk to me about what it was like nor do I ever expect him to. He wants to forget… he’s cried out how he wishes he could forget.

If only I could grant that wish to him. On his month anniversary, – when it was only me and Wooyoung by his side – he asked if we could go to the park. 

He loves watching TV. He also finds the sappy movies where you go to scenic places and just… soak it in. San couldn’t do that. That day a kid approached us and asked to touch San, but he wasn’t good with touch either. He flinches… so Wooyoung distracted the kid after they pull San’s tail. Innocent curiosity… kids don’t understand what no means when they are so young. 

After that day he locked himself in his room. 

He hates the outside world. Filled with cruel people and reminders of his past. 

It's a miracle he trusts me as much as he does. I once wanted to take him to a restaurant… but the door had a bell chime. It made him freeze until I commanded him and we went home. 

He will wait for a command and it's necessary to snap him out of it. 

Kun wanted him to continue therapy but he’s still not used to it. Shortly maybe? Whether that's in a year or two or maybe never. 

Despite how damaged he is, he’s truly an amazing person. He’s sensitive and caring… he’s beautiful. 

He cares so much about me, about Wooyoung, even the newest addition of Yeosang.

He always makes sure I'm not overworking with my book when I lose track of the hours. Whilst he makes sure to reassure Wooyoung with praises and sweet nothings everyday. Even Yeosang, he helps him with his traumas… assures him that he has them and that he isn't alone. 

Sannie, my first hybrid and I'd do everything to have him in my life – to be in his heart all over again.

“May this be the first life of many I live with you, you’re my reason to continue living”

Wooyoung… a sweet hyperactive fox.

He could go on for hours and hours doing any activity as long as he was having fun or with any three of us who joined him. 

He isn’t good at leaving the apartment either.

As much as he denies it he's still scared of me abandoning him one day. So when he does go out with me he's always glued to my side. Holding my hand or simply looping our arms.

He also feels the need to “make himself useful” since his previous owners had him do chores and cook for them since they were expecting a baby and were busy. 

His stress also gets him which is obvious because of how clingy he becomes and even picks at his own fur. His mind was constantly working and overthinking and I had to get used to praising him and reassuring him how much I loved him. 

It wasn’t hard but it hurt to know he needed constant reassurance to understand he’s loved by not only me but also to make sure he isn't a burden to San or Yeosang. 

He has a very bad mental health… one which will make him experience very long or even very short depressive episodes. 

In those days I spend most of my time in his room trying to offer him comfort. Sometimes we stay in silence or we’ll talk about nothing important for hours until we sleep in each other's arms. 

I owed Wooyoung a lot… he was there for me when I was in school and when my parents weren’t necessarily present in my life. He was there… he was always there and it's the least I could do for him. 

I’d be by his side for as long as he wants me. 

“I’ve loved you like it was love at first sight! My dream became a reality and I'm not ready to ever wake up”

Yeosang… my protective doberman.

I always found it interesting how my friends thought that San was the most protective and even though he is, San was a sweetheart. While Yeosang was intimidating. He hates the socialite life… in return doesn’t trust my friends. He also hates leaving the apartment, claiming it's his safe haven and always with his silly little nickname… angel. 

Claiming that's what I was… someone who saved him from his life in hell. Brought him back up, made him smile, and forgave him for his sins. He hates being reminded of his past… it's known that I had him and people will sometimes send me emails and texts to ask him for photoshoots. 

He, however, wanted to live a life of peace away from the media and the sins that others committed. 

He hates the attention, the photos, the videos, the whispers, and the gossip when he does come out with me. He’s a dog hybrid… he has good sight, good hearing… and good smell. He could tell when they gossiped about his prostitution background and even said horrid things. Not like he’d ever tell me what they said since… he didn’t want to make me sad or angry. He endured a lot… but he didn’t have to do it alone anymore. She was gone… and she’s never had a chance to get close to him again. 

If he saw me as his guardian angel, I’d act like it. I’d protect him with my life. 

“Why would I ever leave when I’m in paradise? Out there is hell, in here I have an angel looking over me” 

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[nymph-yoongi]

affection w/namjoon

Word count: 767

Namjoon is not the most affectionate person, often preferring to just exist in each other’s company

That being said, he does like it when you cling to him; you bring out his soft side

If you’re shorter than him, he’ll rest his chin on the top of your head

Although he’s not very into PDA, he does like to be able to either see you or touch you, happy to even just observe you while you do something 

The way he shows his love for you most often is by making time for you and showing you that you’re a priority to him 

Spare time is very rare and precious, so he makes sure to make time for you, even if it’s not easy

He enjoys taking care of you and feeling like you can depend on him to provide, but it also warms his heart when you do anything to provide for him as well (cooking for him, buying him gifts, etc.)

When he’s working, he tends to fixate on what he’s doing and forget to eat; when you bring him food or water or send him reminders to take care of himself, he feels grateful to have you in his life

He’s not afraid to admit his flaws, but it does bring him a special kind of peace when the two of you just lay in bed and talk about your own flaws with each other; to know he can be imperfect and still be loved is a healing thing to know 

Likes having intellectual discussions with you about philosophy, cosmology, and just anything that lets him see more into the inner workings of your mind 

He loves when you match his energy, whether he’s being goofy and dancing around like a maniac, or if he’s in a more spiritual and thoughtful mood; it makes him feel like you understand him in a way few others do

Likes coming up with places to go with you and events/activities you can experience together

Prefers shared experiences to buying you physical gifts

Has a hard time being very cutesy, he almost always gets shy and covers his face, especially if he does aegyo 

Despite his shyness, he enjoys it when you compliment him; especially if you call him handsome and/or smart

He used to be insecure about his nose, so he still gets a little shy if you kiss him on the nose

Has a tendency to wrap himself around you when you’re sleeping together 

Can’t and won’t stop taking pictures of you

Even though he can’t post them, his gallery on his phone is mostly photos of you, whether you’re at a museum, in nature somewhere, or just looking cute while asleep

He loves doing little photoshoots of you and showing you off to the people that know about you

Since he takes so many photos of you, it makes him happy when you take nice pictures of him too

It makes him happy knowing that you feel the same urge to show him off, that he feels about you

It’s pretty common for you to either be on an adventure together or just staying inside with good books

He leaves you little notations in the books he’s already read because you once said it makes you feel like he’s reading it with you

Takes pictures of the scenery around him whenever you’re apart; plants, pretty rocks, crab, you name it, he’s sent you a picture of it 

“I didn’t want to bother the bugs under this rock but look how pretty it is!”

If he ever has to travel without you, he sends you the prettiest postcards he can find with the cheesiest messages on them 

“It’s raining here today; even the sky is sad you’re not with me”

Draws little Koyas on his letters and postcards to you

If he knows he’ll be gone from you for a long time, he’ll leave letters for you to read when you miss him 

Writes short poems for you when he’s feeling sentimental and will leave them on sticky notes and index cards for you to find

Writes snippets of songs about different mythos of soulmates when he thinks about you 

Tells you about the myth of humans being created; how we were all made with four arms, four legs, and two heads, then cursed to spend our lives wandering in search of our other half 

“Despite the distance, I feel at peace knowing that I’ve found my other half; I don’t feel the need to search for anything anymore. I found what I need”

[orikiys]

🔖 、 A LETTER TO MY EX

ᘛ 𓏧     ࣪    𖠵 희승 ☓ fem!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning loneliness can’t-move-on-ex not proofread & 798 words

remember the first time when we asked each other our favourite colours? i feel like yours has changed drastically. from blue to orange then back to blue and now? what is your favourite colour now? i forgot i can’t ask you that anymore. i don’t have the authority to ask. who am i to you now? just the past that you’re trying to forget so hard? i remembered another thing, i remembered the way you would convert time differences just so you could remind me to eat on time, to take my multivitamins on time, to give me a good luck message an hour before i left home, just so i didn’t feel alone.

now all i feel is dread. i’m surrounded by it. engulfed within the cores that no matter how hard i try to escape, an image of you never fails to pop up in my head. when i go to work, i see myself glancing at my phone out of habit as i used to when you texted me ‘have a good day!’. i still remember the first time you called me, i even remember the place where i picked up your call. it’s silly, it’s childish even, but i find myself walking down to that place sometimes and wondering what would have happened if i never picked that call? would we still be dating? would we still be in the phase where we asked each other our favourites?

you might not know this, but i added your city to my weather app a month after we broke up. it marked exactly a month since i’ve stopped receiving your phone calls, since i’ve stopped receiving any text messages from you. exactly a month since i’ve stopped knowing you. but i knew that no matter if it's been a month or five months, hating you might be the hardest journey. i still check the temperature of your city every day. but i have to stop myself from reminding you to carry an umbrella with you, because i don’t know where to find you anymore. you’ve gone. you’ve gone somewhere far away that even if i try to trace those steps they’ll just lead me to nowhere.

i still remember when i made snow angels and sent it to you. you called me a real life angel. upto this day, i can still see the shy smile on your when that ‘angel’ converted into a nickname. but now? even hearing that word anywhere makes me go into a deep hypnosis of what it felt like dating you. it felt complicated. each day i felt different emotions. one day i would be re-reading your texts a hundred times till they’re embedded into my brain and on other days i would be cursing you out for reasons i don’t wish to remember.

dating you had that spark in it, until it didn’t. until it just felt like carrying a burden all to myself. it felt suffocating to even open your texts just for me to see a simple ‘ok’ or just for me to see you’ve left me on read, again. just the way you left me all alone by myself. i thought we were special? i thought we were meant to be? but guess it was just me.

i tried to scab the areas you hurt, healed and then hurt again. but how could i scab my heart? it’s too precious. too fragile. but clearly it didn’t even take you a single regret when you broke that heart of mine. you were like the song that was always stuck in my head and like the words i never had a filter on. you just kept flowing all around me, making me lose myself into a tangled mess. i ended up embracing that mess in hopes you would call me your lover again.

i still wonder how it all happened. how the invisible cracks began to spiral the way more quickly until we could no longer bridge with words or actions. we started doing the bare minimum for each other and felt that it was enough. it wasn’t some sort of god’s plan but maybe it was all written in that book of fate because the more i think about it, the more i feel that this breaking apart couldn’t be fixed no matter how much the two sides tried to. except, none of the sides tried. we just stopped caring. there was no realisation until i felt you slip away from my grasp. until i had realised that i’d been wrapping my arms around something that was gone. a sense of nostalgia. perhaps the faded away moments. but i knew that i would answer if you reached out again. no matter the years it took. but i won’t ever forgive you for the way you threw that relationship out your head like an empty piece of cardboard lying at home. i won’t forgive unless i forget.

sincerely,

your angel

[fluffyydumplings]

IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD

If the world was ending right now

I’d hug you until I crush your bones

Because if my life flashes before my eyes

I would have liked to know that I still managed to engrave flowers of my love onto the dying flesh of your soul

It’s selfish

But once I’m gone

I’m nothing better than the fish swimming endlessly in a swirl of muddy puddles with nowhere to go

Aimlessly looking for a way to live even when life is no more

I’m nothing but the desires of my flesh and the sins that my soul has left my body with

And what better way to live even when I’m dead

But with the traces of my heart on your bones

To mark the reminder of our love

Or mine?

You could crush my bones too…

The world is ending darling..

Nothing matters anymore…

That’s kind of morbid

I’m hearing it now

But isn’t the world ending.. just the same damn thing

If the world was ending

I’d want to talk to you once last time

I wouldn’t talk about how much love I have for you

Or how all the stars in the skies are placed directly in the crevices of your heart

I would talk to you about how to make cupcakes

And how you still haven’t returned that food container I lent you last December

I would talk to you about the most mundane things that a being can talk about

Because if you think about it flowers are just particles that we happen to see

Yet they manage to hold stories of a million words

Stepped on by a man who was in a hurry on his way to work

Ignored

Plucked by a lady who hasn’t been visited by her children for years

Adored

Torn apart by the hands of a child who has just failed his test

Wasted

Think of it my darling

If the world were to end right now

What good is me telling you I love you

When my love lies in knowing how you’ve missed the bus today

When my love lies in knowing how the food at work was too salty for you today

My love for you is like a bookmark that sits between the pages of a book

Sometimes trapped between two boring pages

Sometimes trapped between the ending of a chapter

Sometimes trapped in the climax of a story

Sometimes wedged between simple words ‘like’ the or ‘nice’

Sometimes wedged between words like ‘love’ and ‘joy.’

You can’t say the moments that we have spent wasting our lives together in simply talking about the shape of the clouds

Is any less than the moments that we have celebrated

Whether it be our love or our triumphs

Because the little moments of joy that we look over are paper cranes in a glass jar

A single moment of joy is just a single crane that stands small in the horizon

But when pilled up

A colourful mess is everything

Our colourful mess is everything

A beautiful sky is made up of thousands of colours

Even a murky brown or simple beige plays a part in curating magnificence

So.. if the world was ending right now

Let’s not focus on the glass jar

Let us fold a single crane

And make it a pretty one

Because

If the world was ending right now

I would wish for nothing but a few more minutes for me to complain about doing laundry with you

I would wish for nothing but to be able to count all the freckles on your face

I would wish for nothing but to be able to steal the blanket from you as you push me off the bed

Because darling.. what if tomorrow we’re just a memory that no one remembers anymore

Because darling love is nothing special

Isn’t that love?

Familiar

Precious

Worth thinking about the end of the world for?

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Love Playlist #1: HOME (Han)

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» 

"For a really smart person, Jisung can be so dumb sometimes."

Pairing: Han x Fem!reader Genre: college au, friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, fluff, mutual pining Warnings: mild swearing Word Count: 7k

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

You have three strict rules that you must follow. One, no going out after eleven. Two, never leave the house without your cell phone. And three, never, ever, fall in love with Han Jisung.

Unfortunately, you’ve broken that third rule already. In fact, you’re still breaking it, charring it to a crisp, and throwing it out like the trash you both begrudgingly take turns with. But how can you not? Because when it comes to your doe-eyed best friend who is serenely sitting in front of you, the whole rulebook is torn up. 

Jisung quietly flips through his growing stack of manga, blissfully unaware of the way your heart accelerates whenever he reads a particularly entertaining segment and his eyes light up in amusement.You should remind him to stay on track, but you can’t bear to stop him because of how cute he looks, his legs unconsciously swinging under the table and his fifth banana lollipop of the day shoved into his mouth. 

You’re both sitting together in the library at your special table beside the big window, the place that is always secluded no matter what, as if some higher power knows to keep it aside for you and Jisung for whenever you desire. Both of you are supposed to be studying for your finals, the objectively worst part of the entire year. You’re both seniors, so the slew of exams coming up should be a piece of cake for you, except both of you have grad school next year— you’ll be starting on your PhD, while Jisung, a computer engineering major, will be working towards a master’s degree— so you still have to worry about all of your final grades.

“I hate this.” Jisung looks up from the book in his hands, closing it shut. “I wish I didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s almost over. Then we’ll finally graduate and get to enjoy our summer,” you reply. “And then our lives begin.”

And the elation building in your chest is real, because although you have a tough couple of days ahead of you, the end of this year will be a testament to everything you have accomplished. You have your summer mapped out already; you’re going to be completing groundbreaking cancer research at an esteemed biologist’s lab, days filled with productivity along with exciting nights exploring adulthood and freedom with your friends. Even though you’ll still have school, you’ll only have to be doing what you’re passionate about, leaving behind the mandatory literature and calculus courses that brought you so many tears over the duration of college. 

“Not for me.” Jisung sighs, leaning back in his chair and staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “It’ll never end.”

Lately, Jisung has become increasingly stressed about graduation. He doesn’t come from a wealthy background, with his mother being a grocery store cashier and his father out of the picture. You’re aware he’s under immense pressure to do well in school and then get a good job that will take care of both him and his mother, when she’s unable to provide for herself. Worst of all, Jisung had to ditch his dream of becoming a musician and instead focus on something more practical, which ended up being a profession in computers. Of course, like anything else he puts his effort into, Jisung excels in computer engineering, and he’s come to terms with giving up his passion, but you know it doesn’t hurt any less.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask softly, reaching for his hand. He accepts it, but he turns his head to gaze at the street beyond the window.

“It’s okay.”

You don’t press any further, because you know that it will just break him down, and neither of you can afford that right now at such a crucial time. Instead, you resolve to brighten his mood, like he does with you anytime you’re down. “Let’s just hope we don’t get food poisoning tomorrow.”

Your attempt works, because Jisung meets your eyes, a smile permeating his solemn expression and before widening into a full grin, at the memory of the time you both first met. Remembrance comes like the summer breeze you look so forward to, washing over you both like a tidal wave. And just like that, it’s freshman year and you’re standing at the bus stop near your old dormitory building. 

You anxiously devoured the notebook pages in your hands, alternating between cramming the tiny text and scanning the road for the bus that was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. Your stomach ached from the food poisoning you contracted earlier that morning, an unwelcome byproduct of the dubious cauliflower and tuna tacos served at the dining hall the night before.

This was horrible timing too, especially because you had your first test of the academic year that day. When you should have been bent over your statistics notes, you were cooped up in the bathroom for the previous few hours, clutching the toilet bowl as you watched the clock above you tick menacingly. 

You bounced on your toes anxiously, before a strange, squeaking sound met your ears. You whirled around to see a boy approaching you while struggling to pull a large, bulging suitcase along with him. He finally succeeded, collapsing onto the bus stop bench while coughing and wheezing up a storm that rivaled the ominous clouds in the sky. You reached into the side pocket of your backpack, pulling out your unopened plastic water bottle and handing it over to him.

He looked at your offering hand in surprise, before gratefully accepting. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes while he gulped down the cool water. You watched him finish the entire bottle with a dizzying speed and then recycle it in the bin next to the bus stop. The boy was lanky, sporting an oversized Pokémon t-shirt and battered sneakers, and overdue for a haircut, the locks flopping over his sweaty forehead.

“Thank you so much.” He said.

“Of course. What’s in the suitcase?” 

The boy fondly ran a hand over the worn-out seams of the object of your curiosity. “I promised my roommate that I would give him all of my old books for his class project. I have no idea why he wants them, but then again, art students are weird.”

He looked up at you not even a second later, alarm in his eyes. “Unless you’re an art student! In that case, I didn’t mean what I said.”

You giggled, shaking your head. “No, I’m a biology major. And yes, I agree.”

He beamed. “I’m Han Jisung. First year, computer engineering. Anime and cheesecake lover. Spicy food hater.”

“Y/N. I’m a freshman, too, and I also love anime and cheesecake. Chocolate cheesecake, to be specific. And I can’t stand spicy food.”

“Chocolate supremacy!” Jisung gasped, clamping a palm over his mouth. “This is meant to be.”

You let out a hearty laugh at his theatrics. “Exactly.”

At that moment, the bus finally arrived, rolling to a stop next to you both. You helped Jisung push his suitcase full of storybooks up the steps of the bus and into the aisle. You sat on one of the seats in the back, and Jisung followed suit, plopping down right next to you. As he did, you noticed him wince, clutching his stomach. Concern bloomed in you for this precious stranger that you just met. 

“Are you okay?”

He clutches his stomach once more, smiling embarrassedly. “I got food poisoning. I should have known better than to trust the dining hall food.”

You pause, as the ironic delight of the situation sets in, allowing the pain to fade away and leaving you to wonder about the odds of meeting Jisung. “No way! Me too!”

Jisung’s eyes widen in surprise. “That’s destiny. Mutual food poisoning. Now we definitely have to be friends.”

Later, after you had exchanged numbers and plenty of laughs, parting ways at your respective bus stops, you would meet again at the university hospital. Both of you had contracted a salmonella infection.

Unbeknownst to you and Jisung, that delayed bus and salmonella would determine the trajectory of the rest of your lives. Over time, you both emerged from the shackles of a hesitant acquaintance to the kind of bond that never breaks, even with time, distance, or the grievances of being young. You witnessed each other grow up, fall in love and out of love, and get drunk on piña coladas at the bar next to the college gym you both pretended to go to regularly. 

Somewhere along the way, after Loser Boyfriend Number Three, as Jisung tried to cheer you up with his horrible jokes and the burned brownies that he nuked in the residence hall kitchen microwave, you realized that you were wasting your time on people who weren’t worth it. Because the only person who was worth it was the one who had been by your side all the time. Jisung. 

Betrayed by your treacherous heart, you began to see Jisung— your person, your study buddy, your fake fiancé when you both were trying to score free dessert with a restaurant proposal— as more than just a friend. In fear of your feelings potentially ruining your friendship, something more dear to you than any form of romance, as you so believed they would, you swore to never speak to Jisung of it. But you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore about the worst. You fell in love with your best friend. 

“What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?”

“I have no idea, Jisung.”

“‘Hey, where’s my tractor?’ Get it?” Jisung bursts out laughing, slapping his thigh. He doubles over, his whole body shaking with laughter at the unimpressed look on your face, which makes everything funnier for him.

“That doesn’t even make sense!” You exclaim, trying to push him. Jisung just keeps giggling, dodging you masterfully.

You both have given up on your library study session, resolving to take a break at your favorite coffee shop and meet up with the rest of your friends in your circle. The setting sun has streaked the blue sky with its golden rays and puffy pink clouds, enveloping the entire campus in a hazy glow. It’s a pleasant May evening, with the scent of your college’s famed peonies along with the excitement of Spring lingering in the air. The street lights that line the sidewalk are already turned on, but not many people are outside enjoying the weather, except for a few students playing a game of Frisbee on the athletic field. Everyone else is locked away in their rooms or the library, grinding for their upcoming exams.

“Well, I have a better one anyway.” Jisung states, clearing his throat dramatically. 

You roll your eyes as you near your destination, an unassuming red-brick building tucked away in a larger complex of stores. Purple morningstar blossoms border the door of the small shop in clumps of dainty vines, no doubt the namesake of Morningstar Coffee House. Fairy lights are strung around the glass block windows, which offer a glimpse of the inviting warmth inside. 

“Let’s hear it.”

Jisung jogs ahead of you and opens the door for you, gallantly gesturing for you to go first. “What did Y/N say to Jisung when they went to the coffee shop together?”

The comforting smell of pastries and dark roast coffee engulfs you as you step into Morningstar. The strung lanterns and groovy jazz music playing in the background welcome you like a hug from a long-distance friend. You can’t believe it’s been so long since you’ve gone anywhere other than the library, the lecture halls, or the tiny apartment you and Jisung share. 

“I don’t know.” You humor Jisung, still playing along and waiting for his ridiculous punchline.

He smirks at you. “I love you a latte!”

You feign disgust, but secretly, you are elated because of how genuinely touching his words are to you. Jisung hugs you like a baby panda, trying to get you to applaud him for his clever joke, as Jisung is naturally a very physically affectionate person, always wanting to snuggle up to the people around him. But your heart can’t help but jump a little every time you feel his arms snug around you. 

“Well, I love you a latte more, Hannie,” you respond nonchalantly, but you mean it. You do love Jisung for everything that he is, even the cringeworthy SoundCloud rapper phase that dominated his sophomore year. 

“You guys are weird,” your friend Seungmin says from behind the counter, where he’s busy working as the barista, while his co-worker, Soobin, a timid Psychology student, clumsily handles orders at the cash register. Seungmin’s parents own Morningstar, and he plans to take over it next year. 

Jisung sticks his tongue out at Seungmin in defiance, before linking arms with you and dragging you to the back, where the rest of your friends are seated. There is Chan, or more famously known as Chris among his many admirers across his campus, clad in his signature black jacket. Besides him, the turquoise-haired baby of your group, Jeongin, and then Hyunjin, who as usual, is lost in his sketchbook. 

“Hey guys. What are you up to?” You slide in next to Hyunjin, trying to peek at what he’s drawing. You catch a glimpse of a very pretty girl you vaguely recognize from around campus, before he protectively snaps his journal closed, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Eyes on your coffee, Y/N,” Hyunjin says, handing you the mug that they ordered for you ahead of time. Magically, it’s still hot.

You accept the coffee and drink it, letting the rich liquid warm your insides as you swallow it gratefully. “Alright, alright.”

Jisung tries to steal a bite of Jeongin’s apple danish, earning him a swat on his wandering palms. Chan looks over at you with a grin. “We’re just listening to Jeongin rant about his crush.”

Jeongin groans before continuing. “And I keep asking her out, but every time, she rejects me, bro! What am I supposed to do? Give up?"

“Yes,” Hyunjin says in his signature straightforward manner, prompting everyone but Jeongin to snicker.

“Whatever. I'll figure out a way.” Jeongin sits back in his seat, resorting to aggressively typing on his keyboard to deal with his frustration.

You look around your little corner in the shop, which is filled with textbooks and miscellaneous notebook sheets. “Where are the others?”

“Minho is studying with his girlfriend, and Changbin and Felix are apparently also working, but they’re probably gaming instead.”

Hyunjin bites down on the edge of his straw, glancing between you and Jisung thoughtfully. “Speaking of girlfriend, when are you both going to get together?”

You freeze up in your seat, tensing like you always do whenever someone jokes about your relationship with Jisung, but he’s unfazed, shooting Hyunjin a mischievous smile. “When you tell us about that girl you’re obsessed with.”

Hyunjin immediately forgets about teasing you, glaring at Jisung contempfully. “Shut up, Han. You don’t know anything.”

“Guys, let’s calm down,” you say while patting Hyunjin’s back, happy for the distraction but still cautious about him and Jisung. While those two love each other very much now, they used to fight like crazy when they roomed together in freshman year, and no one needs a repeat of bad history right now.

Jisung catches your eye, and although he doesn’t smile at you, you can see the appreciation in his eyes. You nod slightly at him, before getting out your own computer. Words do not have to be exchanged between you two for you to understand each other.

You all settle into a comfortable silence as you finish your coffee and resume studying, only looking up occasionally to ask each other questions about the material or an assignment. Soon, the evening begins to fade away, and you start packing up your belongings before closing time.

“Hey, Y/N! Can you come over here for a second?” Seungmin calls out, capturing your attention.

You put down your backpack and walk over to the counter, where he’s washing his blender. “Yes?”

“So what’s going on with you and Jisung?” Before you can interrupt him and deny anything, Seungmin wipes his hands and gives you a meaningful look. “I know you have feelings for him.”

You feel your face heat up, and you avoid his piercing eyes. “How would you know?”

“Look, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. From the way you look at him, it’s a marvel how he hasn’t figured it out yet. For a really smart person, Jisung can be so dumb sometimes.”

You exhale, seeing no point in lying anymore. Besides, it feels good to get it off of your chest. “Well, why are you bringing this up anyway?”

Seungmin sets down his utensil caddy and rests his elbows on the edge of the sink. “Soobin likes you and asked me if you’re single. But, you know, I wasn’t sure if you are available. Emotionally, I mean.”

You glance over at Soobin, observing him counting all of the day’s revenue. The blonde cashier catches your eye, flashing you a shy smile before quickly looking away, turning a shade of tomato red. He’s handsome, good-hearted, and not to mention, very tall. Just your type. But he’s no Jisung.

“It’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone.” And this is true— over a year, to be precise. “I guess, I’m still hung up over Jisung.”

“Do you plan on making a move?”

“No way. I’m just going to wait for the feelings to dissipate. I would never risk our friendship like that,” you mumble.

“You could get to know Soobin, maybe he’ll help you move on,” Seungmin suggests, crossing his arms.

You consider your options before piping up. Jisung had gotten pretty serious with his last girlfriend by the end of your junior year, but he broke up with her a month later, telling you that she just wasn’t the one for him. He hasn’t dated anyone since, claiming that it’s not the right time. But for you, it is, and you realize that you can’t keep waiting for him.

“Maybe I will,” you say, toying with your jacket zipper.

Seungmin tips his head towards Soobin, but before you move, he leans in closer to you. “But personally, I think you should just tell Jisung. If he’s really your best friend, your friendship will stay the same no matter what.”

You nod. “Yeah, okay.”

You know Seungmin is right, but the truth is, it’s not just about losing your friendship with Jisung. Regardless of whether he reciprocates your feelings or not, you know that he would never walk away from you. It’s truly you who you are concerned about. You’re uncertain if you could bear to go back being your normal self around Jisung if you confess and get rejected. You don’t know if your heart could handle it.

You touch Seungmin’s hand in a quiet gratitude and approach Soobin, who immediately notices your presence and accidentally slams the cash register drawer closed, nearly shutting it on his finger. “H-hi Y/N.”

Watching Soobin get endearingly flustered, you can’t help but smile. “Hey Soobin. How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you.” Soobin bites down on his lip, wrapping his arms around himself. He looks so cute in his brown bib apron and converse shoes. “You look really pretty in that dress.”

Your cheeks warm, but you look him directly in his eyes. “That’s so kind of you to say. Actually, I was hoping you'd want to go out on a date sometime? Maybe after finals?”

Although you’re very reserved about your feelings for Jisung, in every other case, you can be quite forward with romance. Soobin’s eyes widen. “Wait, really?”

You laugh, getting out your phone. “Yes, really. What do you say?”

“Yes! I would love to. Could I please get your number?” Soobin stretches out his phone, which is covered in teddy bear stickers. 

You think of Jisung’s phone, which has a clear case and a polaroid of you two at the beach inside. You shake the thought of him away. You type your number into Soobin’s phone, before wishing him good luck on his finals and then rejoining your friend group in the darkening outdoors, which has moved outside the shop while you were talking to Seungmin. As soon as he spies you walking out of the door, Hyunjin forgets his conversation with Jeongin and immediately launches into interrogating you. 

“What were you talking to Soobin about?”

You shrug, trying to play it off, but can’t help the rosy blush that creeps up your neck. “Nothing, really.”

Now the others look interested as well, and Jeongin smirks knowingly at you. “You asked him out, didn’t you?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you think you see Jisung’s smile falter, but you chalk it up to your own imagination and affirm Jeongin’s prediction. “Yes, but it’s pretty casual. So not a big deal.”

Chan and Jeongin both high-five you like seventh grade boys, while Hyunjin just cackles at your sudden agitation. Jisung, however, looks annoyed, a very new color on him. 

“I didn’t know you were interested in Soobin,” he says, shutting Hyunjin up. “Why didn’t you tell me? You always tell me when you like someone.”

You know the answer to his question. But you can’t tell Jisung that the only reason why you asked Soobin on a date out of the blue is because you are in love with him and trying to move on. “Seungmin just told me that he had a crush on me. So I went for it.”

“Yeah, everyone knows Soobin likes you. But you could have told me first before making a move.” Jisung’s tone is slightly harsh, suspicious. You recoil in surprise, because he has never spoken to you like this, unlike the boy you know and love.

“Why are you getting so mad?” You ask him, hurt.

“It’s just that we tell each other everything, and this is pretty big.” Jisung crosses his arms stubbornly. “Unless you didn’t want me to know.”

Your skin prickles with a strange feeling, because while you two have bickered over stupid things in the past, it wasn’t anything serious like the look on Jisung’s face now. “What’s your problem, Jisung? What did I do to you?”

Your voice is raised, and boys instantly sense the tension in the air, stepping in to mediate. Chan, the eldest in the group, places a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, mutely imploring him to stay calm. Hyunjin, however, gets defensive on your behalf. 

“Why should she have to tell you? Calm down,” Hyunjin says, frowning at Jisung.

“It’s okay, Hyunjin. We should get going.” Without waiting for an answer from the others, you grasp Jisung’s hand and pull him with you, while he comes along without saying anything at all.

The walk back to your apartment, which is seven minutes long from campus, is filled with an uneasy silence, a dreadful change from the playfulness earlier in the day. The air is charged, full of everything you both want to say to each other, but nevertheless, you keep your mouth closed. More than anything, you’re confused. 

It’s been a long time since either of you were with anyone romantically, so maybe it is surprising to Jisung that you randomly asked Soobin out. However, you don’t understand his anger, especially because Jisung has always supported you in your dating life, even setting you up sometimes with people he knew. But you don’t think the problem is the fact that it is Soobin either, because Soobin is one of the most beloved people on campus due to his sweet personality. You don’t know what’s wrong, and that’s what bothers you the most.

Neither of you speak even when you reach your neighborhood, a suburban oasis in a big city. When there’s good weather, you and Jisung love to come outside and either take long walks around the block or pack picnics to share on the perpetually green lawn in front of your apartment building. Today, you head straight up to your flat, an indifferent pair of strangers standing in the elevator.

After unlocking the door to your apartment, you finally decide to break the silence, turning to look at Jisung, who trails a few feet behind you. “I’ll be in my room, studying.”

You want him to say something, anything, but he just nods, keeping his eyes trained on the grey hardwood flooring. Sighing, you pad across the apartment and enter your room, shutting the door you always keep open. 

You and Jisung had signed a lease on your place last year, partially because you couldn’t afford off-campus housing on your own, but also because you couldn’t imagine a better roommate than him. People made plenty of comments about how you both— two people of the opposite gender— renting an apartment together would be a recipe for disaster.

While Jisung had assured you that everything would be alright, the weeks leading up to move-in day were filled with apprehension for you. But unlike what he believed, it wasn’t because of what others said. The thought of you and Jisung living together made you worry if proximity could potentially make it easier for him to realize your feelings for him. 

However, when the big day rolled in, you couldn’t remember any of your fears as you and Jisung sat in your new apartment, leaned against a pile of half-opened luggage. Exhausted from dealing with delayed furniture shipments and sorting through the endless boxes of belongings, both of you had given up. Resolving to lay on the barren floor and play Go-Fish, you both laughed for hours about the annoyed look on the grumpy mover’s face when Jisung kept asking him questions. Before Jisung subsequently fell asleep on your lap, he promised you that you both would make a lot of good memories here. And you did.

Last Christmas, you both spent it together, huddled on the couch while gossiping and drinking hot chocolate, because both of your flights got canceled due to snow. Then there was the time Jisung forced you to stay awake with him all night because he was scared after watching some bad slasher film, but you told him Disney bedtime stories that eventually made his fear go away.

You can’t help but feel a small pang thinking of whenever he brings you strawberry shortcake from the bakery you like, or all of the times he spam calls you when you’re out late and haven’t informed him. You’ve never fought with Jisung like this, not without him immediately coming after you and begging you to forgive him, even if he wasn’t in the wrong. Being distant with Jisung is a new feeling, and you don’t get how you could ever accomplish that with your best friend in the whole world. 

Shaking off your incessant thoughts about Jisung, you turn on your computer, hunching over on your desk in the artificial glow of the screen. You still have a few chapters of reading to get through, and then you have to solve ten long practice problem sets for Chemistry. For now, you’ll have to put off the deliberations that pull at you.

“Y/N.”

You feel someone shaking you awake, gentle hands coaxing you out of an uneasy nap. You lift your head from where it rests on your arms, blearily looking up from where you are slumped over your desk. Your laptop has fallen asleep, the dim glow of your lamp lighting up the room instead. And the blaring, unwelcome red of your digital clock signals an unfortunate time well past twelve. Rubbing your eyes, you finally notice Jisung hovering beside you hesitantly.

“I thought you’d want me to wake you up,” Jisung says, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pajama pants. “I’m sorry.”

He’s wearing a black sweatshirt with the hood pulled up snugly over his head, a few soft pieces of hair messily sticking out from underneath. He looks so cute you want to hug him, but then you remember the events that transpired before you accidentally fell asleep. 

“It’s okay. I need to finish working, thanks,” you say dully, both tired from studying and being stuck in this bad day with Jisung.

He shakes his head. “No, I mean, I’m sorry for earlier. At the coffee shop.”

You bite your lip, melting at the regret and sadness in his eyes. Your best friend misses you too. “Can we talk?”

Jisung stays quiet before speaking, and you swear he can probably hear your anticipating heartbeat filling the room. “Are you hungry? We didn’t have dinner.” 

He doesn’t answer your question, but you still fold at the thought of how he didn’t eat without you. “Yeah, I am hungry.”

“I’ll make us something.” He turns and heads into the kitchen, and after a second thought, you hurry after him. 

Jisung takes off his hood and brings out a metal pot out of one of the cupboards. You watch as he rummages hastily through the fridge, before he shuts it with empty hands. He turns to you with a sheepish look on his face. “So we don’t actually have any food.”

Realization passes between the both of you: in the past few weeks, you both were so immersed in your preparation for your exams that you had completely neglected buying groceries, opting instead for easy pre-cooked meals or food deliveries. Your stomach rumbles loudly, and you rub it, embarrassed, but at least it breaks the tension, as Jisung snorts, an amused look on his face.

“We could go to the store and get something,” he suggests, from where he stands behind the kitchen island. 

He fidgets nervously, a reminder of how any other time, you would have jumped at the opportunity to ditch your books and buy cheap junk food with Jisung. But now? You don’t want to go out. You want to stay here, you want to talk to your best friend, you want things to go back to how they were before your fight with Jisung. And yet, you nod your head in agreement, grabbing your apartment keys and wallet from the counter before following Jisung out of the apartment. 

The hallways of the building are tainted a vivid yellow from the incandescent lighting, a sharp contrast to the gloomy night outside. The moon is high up in the sky, shrouding the sleepy apartment complex in a silvery glow. There’s no one outside except for a homeless man dozing on one of the benches lining the walkways. But the distant city lights tell you that not everyone slumbers, that outside of your bubble, people have their own lives and stories. The only story that matters to you, however, is the one with the beautiful boy who walks beside you, his step heavy and eyes downcast. 

In a matter of wordless minutes, you and Jisung have arrived at your go-to place for midnight runs, a sketchy little convenience store peeking out from behind a cluster of drab office buildings. The neon lighting of the store glows in the dark and reflects in the pools of water left by a mild rain that had graced the land while you were sleeping. 

Jisung quickly walks ahead of you and opens the door for you, a blast of air conditioning granting you solace from the humidity. The familiar sight of the plentiful arrays of colorful aisles and the broken fan hopelessly creaking by the entrance pulls you in. You scour the shelves of mouthwatering foodstuffs, before settling in front of one of the sections.

“I don’t know if it’s a noodles or sandwich kind of night,” you wonder out loud, picking up a pack of ramen. You don’t notice Jisung standing behind you, as you assume he’s already zeroed in on the ice cream freezer like he always does.

“Definitely ramen.”

You jump, hugging the packet to your chest as if it would protect you from the perpetrator. Jisung innocently watches you, a small smile playing upon his lips. He holds two wrapped popsicles in his hands, one melon-flavored and one mango-flavored, and stretches the latter out to you. You accept it, returning his smile, and it feels like things are normal again. You know you should bring up what lies unspoken between you two, but you want to preserve this moment for now.

Jisung selects ramen for himself as well, and you both go to the front counter to check-out, failing to exchange any more words as you both just continue to enjoy the calm. After, you both quickly exit the shop and start jogging in synchronization, remembering that a pile of work still awaits you. When you board the bridge that connects the rest of the city to the way back to your apartment, Jisung doubles over, panting. 

You decide to take a break, walking over to the edge and drinking in the view. The blurred lights of the magnificent skyscrapers illuminate the midnight sky like lightning, and the river in front of you is littered with cargo ships peacefully gliding along on their separate journeys. You lean against the railing, closing your eyes and letting the wind ruffle your hair. Jisung comes up behind you once more, but when he speaks this time, it’s less of a surprise and more of a comfort. 

“Everything is changing,” he says, resting his hands on the railing as well. “I’m scared.”

You open your eyes, turning to face Jisung. His eyes are filled with tears, and your heart reaches out for him. You tightly grasp his hand, trying to convey everything you can’t say to him. 

“Talk to me. Please.”

“I’m not ready for all of this. Graduation’s getting closer, and I know you’re excited but… I don’t know, I still feel kind of stuck.” Jisung’s gaze fixates on one of the boats below. “Every time I type out a line of code, I want to smash my keyboard into bits. Every goddamn time.”

His words are strong, but his voice is rough with emotion. 

“Jisung, don’t do this if it’s not what you want.”

“We’re literally graduating in a month, Y/N.” Jisung lets out a disbelieving sound. “But that’s not even a concern, because my grad school actually offers a joint program on computers and audio design for engineering students who want to go into music production. But I couldn’t do that, because you barely get paid unless you make it big.”

You frown, setting down the plastic cover of your food. “Well, why not? If anyone could break out, it’s you.”

Jisung shrugs, shaking his head. “I can’t take that risk. Just plain old computer science is the way to go.”

You stay quiet for a second, keenly observing his despairing expression. “Your mom would want you to be happy, Hannie.”

“I could be happy, maybe, one day. But not right now.” Jisung runs a hand through his hair, not meeting your eyes. “You’re moving away next year for your PhD, and I’ll still be stuck here, in a place where you aren’t there.”

“I’m only two hours away. You can get away from campus and visit all the time. We’ll be like the Kardashians taking on a new city!” You crack a watery smile.

Jisung sniffles sadly, and your heart sinks, because you failed to make him happy. Again. But then he looks up at you, a glimmer of humor in his eyes. “Only if I get to be Kourtney.”

You laugh, shoving him in the arm. “Fine.”

And then you both say nothing again, just gazing out at the world beyond this bridge and instant.

“What happened today?” You break the silence— questioning, not accusing.

Jisung groans. “It’s… look, I know we’ve both dated before, but none of them were it. And maybe you never felt that way, but I know for a fact that none of the guys you dated were right for you.”

“Jisung—” you start, but he interrupts you.

“And we’re graduating soon. So I thought you’d realize it by now.” Jisung taps his foot like he always does when he’s nervous, and your pulse quickens at his halting words. 

“Realize what?” You ask him softly, trying not to come to any conclusions but betrayed by the treacherous beat of your heart.

The tips of Jisung’s ears turn red. “I- I need you to not say anything. Because I need to say something. And if you don’t like what I say, then I’ll walk away and we can forget everything that transpired here. Okay?”

You maintain your serious expression, although you want to swoon at his adorably flustered state. “Okay.”

Jisung is about to finally reveal what has gotten him so worked up, but then he sighs in frustration, shaking his head. “No. I can’t do this with you looking at me. Can you please turn around? Please?”

Hiding a smile, you oblige him and face the other way. “Okay. I can’t see you now.”

You hear Jisung take a deep breath. 

“I’m never going to get this right. Y/N, I like you. And I mean like-like you. Like, romantically. Everything about you, I like. Even your disgusting food combinations, I like. Your smile? Oh god. Don’t go on a date with Soobin. Go with me. I like you.” 

Even though the past few minutes manifested Jisung’s declaration, you still whirl around, shocked. “Say what?”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Seriously? I pour myself out to you and you need me to repeat it? You’re really something, Y/N.”

You smirk, stepping closer and looping your arms around Jisung’s neck. You take in how Jisung’s eyes have widened and how his lips are parted at such an intimate gesture from you, wondering if this is how it feels in the movies, when the heroine finally gets the boy she’s been loving from a distance for so long. 

You look up at Jisung, and your heart has never felt so happy. “I guess this is my time to be vulnerable too. I don’t just like-like you, Jisung. I love you.”

It’s Jisung’s turn to be surprised. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah. For a very long time.”

He smiles bashfully, his elation at your own confession evident. “I love you too.”

Jisung tilts his head to his right, as you do the same, almost about to close the miniscule space between you both. And then he pulls away.

You watch Jisung, confused, as he covers his face with his palms, shyly giggling. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I dreamed of this for so long. Can you give me a second?” 

Never able to get enough of his antics, you watch as he pulls a stick of chapstick out of his pocket and swipes it on. He dabs his lips carefully before turning back to you. 

“Now where were we?”

Before you can even say anything, he’s closed that gap. His lips are soft and sweet, the taste of cherry and vanilla chapstick lingering. You close your eyes and melt into the kiss as Jisung brings up his hands to cradle your face. The sweet scent of him clouds your senses and washes away your inhibitions, and there’s nothing besides you both in this moment. He kisses you like there’s no tomorrow, no exams, no school or anyone else. He kisses you not like a friend, but a lover that he’s yearned for, which certainly wouldn’t be a lie.

You can’t believe that you’ve been pining after Jisung for the mere duration of your college years. It feels like you’ve waited your whole life for this. The murky puddles of water around you and the pungent stench of a nearby dumpster are nowhere near romantic, but with the way you’re kissing Jisung, you might as well be in heaven. 

If you dare to predict the future, you’ll have the rest of your life to look forward to moments like this, miss him even when he’s laying in your arms, love him when you both slow dance in the refrigerator light at midnight. And because you’re two broke peas in a pod, you both will definitely conduct more fake proposals with each other when you go out to eat. Hopefully before the real deal. You’ll just have to see who pops the question first. 

“Wow,” Jisung breathes against your lips. “My dreams have not done this moment any justice.”

You chuckle, leaning in for another kiss. “Mine too.” 

But Jisung dodges your lips, making you scoff as he raises his eyebrows at you. “And what are you going to be doing about Soobin?”

“You should be nicer. Poor Soobin. I wouldn’t have to let him down now if you’d just told me all of this earlier,” you scold Jisung lightly, cupping his chin. 

He pouts, swatting at your arms with the oversize sleeves of his hoodie. “Never mind. Let’s stop talking about him.”

You roll your eyes playfully and wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him closer. You’re sure that the lovesick look on Jisung’s face mirrors your own. He may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for you. Your best friend in the whole world. And whatever the future holds, that will never change.

“I love you, Hannie. Love you so much,” you whisper, pressing another soft kiss to his lips. You’ll never, ever get tired of kissing him.

Jisung smiles down at you lovingly, slipping off his hoodie to put it on you, noticing the way you shiver. But you’re not really that cold; it's the way he’s looking at you right now. Not that you’d tell him that. “Let’s go.”

“Where?” You ask, still in a dreamy daze. This day has turned out to be better than any other you’ve ever had. Everything was worth it.

“Home.”

Check out the rest of boys' stories on Love Playlist!

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[thehotelpod]

ONE MORE WEEK OF DOUBLE STUFF OCTOBER LETS DO SEASON 5 OF IZZY'S EPISODE ART

5.1 Merp and Burble

Our first Big Named Event arc! "BEHIND THE CURTAIN" which I'm almost certain I picked because we could do this cool ass curtain frame device. Izzy continues to bring the pain here with photo bashed curtains, a modified Madam Hotel horrifyingly cartooning about like bugs bunny to reveal our almost Trevor Henderson-like trail cam timelapse photo of Merp. He also gave me a number of color options on this one, maybe we'll have a section in The Guestbook Vol. II of bts sketches? I'll ask Izzy. This one holds a special place in my heart because Merp is, as devotees will recall, just Scary Slar.

rest of the season under the cut! (it's long, you've been warned)

5.2 It Watches and It Smiles

look! The curtain connects at the top! It's gonna be one long picture!

This monster was actually based on a 3 foot tall hard foam statue we had in our house growing up. It is actually scarier looking than you are imagining, made every one of my cousins cry, and is not only something I had nightmares about but also one of the main reasons so much of my horror is "something weird is Over There but looking at you". Full disclosure, one of the reasons I put this monster in this episode was so that Izzy would have to draw a postcard of it and maybe someone would recognize it and tell me what the hell it is because I have not so much as a single photograph of it. BUT then Izzy showed me this drawing, which almost completely hides the monster but it's just so so good I couldn't pass it up. The implied shape and DYNAMITE bloody palm fronds make this look so much like a 90s book cover I fell in love right away. We always try to keep those season and episode numbers in the postcards now too, but I think we forget sometimes?

5.2 Nothing Can Kill That Which Glowers

LOOK AT THIS ONE. Madam Hotel rotting in the reflection of the bubble (she was supposed to show up more in those episodes and sort of be in the process of rotting but she ended up being a single light instead.), I'm crazy about the Owner here, Izzy loves to always keep a little monster in the mix when he draws the Staff. And miss Manager POPS like an 80s music video. Lot's of subtle layers and textures here that can get overlooked, but just like the lake the Owner sinks into, it deepens the longer you linger (did you find the episode number?)

I also like to remind everyone that 'That Which Glowers' is the Grimace and this episode title is a reference to the Clerks cartoon.

5.4 We Are...Watching You...

But are you really LOOKING at it? Do you SEE Izzy's MIND? Lined up you get back to back Managers mirroring each other as well as Madam Hotel in the wings of the now completed curtains--these doubles ALSO frame what is hopefully implied to be the Lobby Boy's hand reaching for his Manager. All of this duality and connection not only reinforces what we know about the characters and show already but set up beautifully the new mirrors about to arrive...

5.5 The Bellhop

THERE SHE IS! There's my goblin girl. You get the bloody vision of the Hotel as Hop sees it as well as the framing for a triptych of the New Crew, each on their own floor. The New Crew stands apart from the Staff in that they have canonical designs immediately, so there tends to be less variation on their fan designs. However there was like ONE WEEK or so before this episode dropped where people were drawing Hop ALL KINDS OF ways. She's one of my favorite designs Izzy's done for the show and I think it's partially because she looks a little like ET.

5.6 The Concierge

Shut up. Shut UP. Look at those colors. Look at that face. Look at those shoulders. Look at those colors! THE COLORS DUKE! THE COLORS!!!! and those printing spots breaking up the lines, all layered over starlight?! It should be, at this point, very hard for Izzy to outdo himself but...he just keeps on outdoing it. We jump down a floor here and the Concierge has slightly more brick surrounding him than the Bellhop did so my pattern recognizers in the crowd can probably guess what's coming next--

5.6 The Auditor

It's been pointed out that Aud has gotten the most detailed description of the main characters on the show. I try to always keep it vague so everyone can imagine whatever they like , but the Auditor is so weird I just wanted to play a little. I saw this scary looking, lonely monster begging to be seen in all white surrounded by nothing. Even the brick and mortar of the Hotel doesn't seem to want to be around her much. One thing I love about Izzy's work is how well he combines whimsy and fun with actual scary imagery. She looks really scary. That is a scary looking monster he drew.

I also think she kind of looks like this alien from Star Trek IV (hey look Star Trek showed up)

5.9 Tenaj Druh - 004 Moor

Oh how I wish I could have a full set of New Crew postcards from Izzy seeing season 1 from a different perspective (for that matter I'd love a full set of season 1 from Izzy, but one thing at a time). Getting to not only see Janet Hurd, but see the NEW CREW checking her in is so so exciting. And the Manager's TV's re-imagined as giant bloody eyeballs is expressed to it's grossest perfection here. Even the Goosebumps frame is tinted sickly green. (the rest of the season also has Goosebumps frames but I'm trying to show off Izzy's art I want you all to have a good look)

5.10 Tnurb Yrrah - 002 Moor

this one's bonkers. The Hubble's ultra deep field on the left, brains on the right but both halves of one face with the broken illusion between them that is just the building of the Hotel herself?? It's got poster folds and teeth for doors! This is a really stunning one that I feel like deserves a little more attention than it gets. Also maybe I spoke too soon on the Goosebumps frame, I don't...this one doesn't have one but maybe I just saved that file somewhere weird.

5.11 IT'S NEW YEARS EVE, JUDY BLASHY!

This is i think the first one we did that had a Goosebumps frame baked in. You can see the 5 and 11 on the clock give us our season and episode number, but that gets a little lost on the printed version so here it is in all it's glory. Love to get to see Judy here her FACE is so EXPRESSIVE and sharp. Notice how Izzy does NOT draw her with a gap tooth. Is that gap battle damage, or some aesthetic flourish the Hotel likes for her bodies? You'd have to ask Izzy. Also love getting to see him draw the things in her furnace room, which are like huge and imply a much larger elevator inside the box. Always reinforcing that boundaries and rules do not apply at the Hotel

they are also based on the family from Mac and Me

what the fuuuck?? why are they so scary??? why are they like that?? why did they make this movie this way?? I was a child!

5.12 The Reaper's Envy

Finishing up the season is this gorgeous party poster that would be right at home in the 90s. Other than the colors (THE COLOR!) I want to point out the confetti that breaks out of the border that also quietly includes some vermin (all up top, letting your eye drift down to the New Crew being reflected in what hopefully everyone assumed was Judy Blashy's eye. Of course we know now who's eye that is and what it's connected to (nothing its nothing it got cut out)

And that's season 5. Now we have entered the @filthyguts desert and must wait once again for the rains to return. I've got new ideas for season 6 that are gonna completely change how we do the art for the show and maybe we can even squeeze some button designs out of him when we launch the next wave of stuff we're launching.

I've said it before and I'll say it again and again and 100 more times, but Izzy's art is a hugely important part of the show, a source of inspiration not only to the fans who listen but to me myself (especially in my lower moments) and I am so so happy that his art and his style has come to define the show.

[paperbag-prncss-writes]

Warming Cold Hearts

Summary:

Ghost, who had a challenging childhood, has never experienced the joys of winter activities. On Christmas Eve, Soap surprises him with a snowman-building adventure. Despite initial reluctance, Ghost discovers the magic of the season.

Read on AO3

The winter wind howled through the Scottish highlands, biting into every exposed inch of skin. Snowflakes, delicate and intricate, pirouetted in the air, casting a mesmerizing dance across the landscape. A soft, powdery blanket coated the earth in pristine white, transforming the world into a serene winter wonderland. In the heart of this frozen wilderness stood a quaint cottage - the MacTavish holiday home, nestled among ancient pines, adorned with a wreath and twinkling Christmas lights. The air was crisp, carrying with it the scent of pine and the distant promise of a crackling fireplace.

Inside the cottage, a fire filled the room with its warmth, inviting everyone to remain and find some comfort between those wooden walls. The fire crackled a comforting symphony that battled the chill of the winter day. A Christmas tree, adorned with ornaments collected over the years by late Grandmother MacTavish, stood proudly in the corner, its lights shimmering like stars.

John "Soap" MacTavish gazed out the window, captivated by the ethereal beauty of the snowfall. His breath formed tiny clouds in the air as he turned to his partner, Simon "Ghost" Riley, who was wrapped in a thick blanket on the couch, reading a crime novel and occasionally making an annoyed comment about how some of the story strands are just not being realistic.

"Ye ken, Si, it's Christmas Eve. How about we dae somethin' special this year?" Johnny suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Simon arched an eyebrow, peering over the book. "Special? This weather is freezing my ass off, and I don't see anything special about it?"

Johnny chuckled, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Simon's forehead. "Exactly. I was thinkin' we could go outside and build a snowman. Embrace the holiday spirit, ya ken?"

Simon rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips. "A snowman? Seriously? Johnny, I've never understood the appeal of playing in the snow."

Soap chuckled, reaching for Simon’s hand. "Ah, ye'll warm up to it, Si. How about we make some good memories in the snow for a change? Trust me, you're going to love this. "

Despite Simon's initial reluctance, Johnny's enthusiasm was infectious. Bundled up in layers, they stepped outside into the winter wonderland. The cold air bit at Simon's exposed skin, and he shivered involuntarily.

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Simon grumbled, wrapping his scarf tighter around his face.

Johnny grinned, undeterred by Simon’s lack of enthusiasm, scooping up a handful of snow. "Because, my dear Si, ye've never built a snowman, have ye? And every person should experience the joy of that at least once in their life."

Simon shook his head, his breath visible in the chilly air. "No, and I don't see the appeal…"

Soap laughed, bending down to gather snow. "Well, that's about to change."

As they worked together, rolling balls of snow, shaping the snow into a lopsided figure, Simon couldn't help but feel a strange warmth inside. Johnny’s laughter echoed through the quit highlands. Maybe it was the effort they put into crafting something so simple yet filled with holiday charm. Simon couldn’t help but crack a smile.

"There we go," Johnny declared, placing a makeshift hat on top of the snowman and stepped back to admire their creation. "Not bad for our first attempt, eh?"

Simon smirked, a genuine spark in his eyes, with a hint of pride. "I guess it's not the worst thing I've ever done."

Johnny chuckled, pulling Simon closer. "Ye're doing great, Simon. And we're not done yet."

The couple returned to the cottage, rosy-cheeked and covered in snow. Johnny's parents greeted them with smiles, ushering them toward the fireplace. The crackling flames bathed the room in a comforting glow, thawing their frozen limbs. The scent of cocoa filled the air as they settled by the fire.

Johnny's dad emerged from the kitchen, carrying two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. He handed them to the couple, his eyes twinkling with warmth.

"Nothin' like a cup of hot cocoa to chase away the cold," he said, patting Simon on the shoulder.

Simon accepted the mug, his fingers tingling as they wrapped around the warmth. He took a tentative sip, the rich chocolate flavor spreading comfort throughout his body.

Johnny thanked his father as he took his mug and immediately began to rave. It’s just like when he used to be a child, coming home frozen after spending the day in the snow and his parents would wrap him in a blanket in front of the fireplace and warm him up with a cup of hot chocolate.

Simon’s gaze wandered around the cozy room, taking in the warmth and the love that filled the space. He stopped and gazed into the flickering flames, as a wave of nostalgia washed over him. He remembered his own childhood—a time when warmth, hot chocolate, and family were distant dreams. A lump formed in his throat as he realized what he had missed out on till now, and he felt a few tears escape his eyes. He quickly wiped it away, hoping Johnny wouldn’t notice.

But Johnny noticed the change in Simon's demeanor and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Simon shook his head, his voice a whisper. "Nothing. Just…I never had this, Johnny. I never had a cozy fireplace, hot chocolate, or someone to build a snowman with. I missed out on so much. I suppose snow isn’t that bad if you have a warm home to come back after."

Johnny he pulled Simon into a warm embrace. His expression was filled with understanding. "Well, ye've got it now. Ye've got me, and ye've got my family. We'll make up for lost time, aye?"

Simon nodded, a mix of emotions playing across his face. SImon felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the flames. It was the warmth of love, acceptance, and the promise of a future filled with joy.

The room fell into a comfortable silence, broken only by the crackling of the fire. Outside, the snow continued to fall, wrapping the world in a serene blanket. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of love and the chill of winter, Simon realized that Christmas wasn't just about snowmen and hot chocolate—it was about creating new memories and finding joy in unexpected places.

As the day wore on, Johnny and Simon shared stories with Johnny's family, partaking in a festive feast that warmed both their hearts and bellies. The holiday cheer permeated the cottage, and Simon found himself laughing more than he had in years.

As night descended, Johnny suggested something that made Simon raise an eyebrow. "How about a nice, warm bath to end the day? We can relax and unwind together."

Simon smirked, a playful glint in his eye. "You just want an excuse to get me out of these layers."

Johnny chuckled, "Maybe a bit. But seriously, it'll be nice. We can enjoy the warmth and each other's company."

The couple filled the antique bathtub with steaming water, the room filling with the soothing scent of lavender bubbles. Candles adorned the edges, casting a soft, flickering light that danced on the walls. The warmth of the water embraced them as they settled into the tub, Simon hesitated for a moment before stepping in, the warm water a welcome contrast to the winter chill, letting out a contented sigh.

"This is actually not bad," Simon admitted. Johnny joined him, and they relaxed in the soothing embrace of the water, The tension from the day melted away, replaced by a quit contentment.

Johnny grinned, reaching for a loofah. "Now, how about I wash yer back? It's the least I can do for the man who built his first snowman today."

Simon chuckled, enjoying the gentle massage of Johnny’s hands against his shoulders. "You’re spoiling me, Johnny."

Johnny leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Simon’s neck. "Ye deserve it, Si."

The warm water, the gentle touch, and the intimacy of the moment washed away the cold of the day. Simon closed his eyes, letting the stress of the past fade into the background. Johnny reached for a bottle of shampoo. His fingers worked through his hair, massaging his scalp, and Simon couldn't help but let out a satisfied groan. As Johnny rinsed Simon’s hair, their eyes met in the flickering candlelight. It was a simple moment, yet it held a depth of intimacy that words couldn’t capture. In that quit bathroom, surrounded by warmth and the person he loved, Simon felt a sense of completeness.

After the bath, wrapped in fluffy towels, they returned to the bedroom. Johnny lit a few candles, casting a soft glow across the room. The crackling fireplace added to the ambiance, creating a haven of warmth and comfort.

As they slipped into bed, Simon couldn't shake the feeling of gratitude. He had found a new family, a new home, and a love that melted even the coldest memories of his past.

Johnny wrapped his arms around Simon, their bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. “Merry Christmas, Si.”

Simon snuggled closer, feeling the steady rhythm of Johnny’s heartbeat. “Merry Christmas, Johnny.”

And in the quiet embrace of the night, with the snow falling gently outside, they drifted into dreams filled with love, and warmth.

_______________________________

Christmas morning dawned with a serene beauty, the Scottish highlands draped in a sparkling quilt of snow. The cottage stood nestled among the pines, a picturesque scene bathed in the soft hues of dawn. Inside, the aroma of a hearty breakfast filled the air as Johnny and Simon prepared for a day of festive celebration.

The anticipation heightened as Johnny's three sisters, his aunts, uncles and cousins arrived, their laughter echoing through the cottage. Morag, the eldest sister and a skilled hairdresser, embraced Simon with warmth. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of Simon’s blond curls, tousled just right from the winter breeze.

"Och, Simon, look at these curls! Ye're takin' good care of them," Morag admired, her hands itching to touch.

Simon chuckled, running a hand through his hair self-consciously. "Well, they usually just do their own thing."

Morag grinned, her excitement contagious. "Aye, they've got a life of their own. But let me tell ye, they're magnificent. Yer doin’ good!"

Simon exchanged a glance with Johnny, who smirked and nodded in agreement. "Morag's right. Ye're perfect as ye are."

After a delightful lunch filled with festive cheer, the family gathered around the Christmas tree, exchanging gifts and sharing laughter. The crackling fireplace cast a warm glow, creating a cozy atmosphere that enveloped the room.

Collin, Johnny’s cousin with a penchant for mischief, suggested reliving the old days with a snowball fight. "Remember the fun we had when we were bairns?" he exclaimed with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

The idea was met with unanimous enthusiasm, and soon the family was bundling up in layers, heading outside into the winter wonderland. The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden glow on the pristine snow.

Johnny and Simon, fueled by strategic experiences on the battlefield, decided to build a small fort near the cottage. The snow beneath their gloves was cold and powdery, perfect for molding into protective walls. As they worked, the MacTavishes prepared for the friendly skirmish.

Once the battlefield was set, the snowball fight erupted in a cascade of laughter and gleeful shouts. Johnnyand Simon strategically defended their fort against the onslaught of snowballs, their playful laughters peppering the air with banter and joy.

As the laughter subsided and the sun began to dip below the horizon, the family retreated to the warmth of the cottage, cheeks rosy and hearts full. The scent of hot cocoa and freshly baked cookies greeted them, and a cozy fire crackled in the hearth. In that cozy moment, surrounded by the warmth of love and the echoes of shared laughter, Simon felt a deep sense of belonging.

As the day turned into night, the family gathered around a grand feast, sharing stories and raising toasts to love and laughter. Johnny’s parents regaled everyone with tales of Christmas traditions, and Morag, ever the storyteller, kept the room alive with her infectious energy.

Later in the evening, as the festivities began to wind down, Johnny and Simon found themselves drawn to the quiet comfort of the living room. The glow of the Christmas tree bathed the room in soft light as they settled on the couch, wrapped in each other's warmth.

Johnny traced patterns on Simon’s hand, their fingers entwined. "Ye know, this has been the best Christmas I've had in a long time."

Simon smiled, his eyes reflecting the fire's flickering light. "Yes, mine too. I never thought Christmas could be so... magical."

Johnny leaned in, capturing Simon’s lips in a tender kiss. The room fell into a quiet, intimate hush as they savored the moment, the love between them deepening with each passing second.

And as the Scottish highlands embraced the tranquil beauty of a snowy Christmas night, Johnny and Simon found solace in the simple, profound magic of love, their hearts warmed by the embrace of family and the promise of many more shared moments in the years to come.

[ladynadie]

A PLACE CALLED MAGIC SHOP

It is a safe place where we can go every time it feels so dark. It's my escape from reality, and every time I go there, I simply regain myself back. I didn't go there just because there were 7 beautiful night and shining armour, but because they made me feel loved and not alone. They offer light and support during difficult times that magically push me to keep moving forward. That shop has been my comfort place ever since I was in high school.

When I was young, I'm always afraid to lose my friends and to be alone, especially in public places. Not until life beats me up into so many betrayals and life lessons. People become my weaknesses, and at some point in my life, I just build my walls so high that no one can ever be trusted. Being alone became my comfort, and I found happiness doing things on my own.

A lot of people think that I'm weird because I like being alone and I isolate myself so much, especially in difficult times. People think that I'm sad or stressed, but they do not understand that sometimes people need to be alone to find happiness.

WHAT IS MAGIC SHOP?

According to Ruqayya, "Magic Shop” was inspired by neurosurgeon’s James R. Doty’s book, Into The Magic Shop, in which the author notes down a series of important tricks and tips that, over time, teach him how to open up his heart and mind to manifesting his true potential. Due to BTS’ interest, his book became a bestseller in South Korea and received 510 times more sales than his other books in Korea.

Magic shop is actually a song of BTS from their album Love Yourself. At first, I questioned the Army's because I thought, "You don't even understand what they were saying in the first place. Why are you all so obsessed with them?" But if you have translated and understand their lyrics, you will be amazed by how they were so creative in expressing their love for their fans.

A SAFE PLACE

Magic shop is a metaphor for a safe place where you can rest and leave your worries even just for a while. The line, "On days you hate to be you, on days you wish you could forever disappear,Let’s make a door, in your heart." They were directly talking to you that it is alright to feel sad or lost but a reminder that you are not alone. You can always come to your safe place and leave the reality. "You’ll be okay, oh, this is a magic shop." Seems like a place where your friends are waiting for you to comfort you and always there to help you.

HOW THEY HELPED PEOPLE LIKE ME?

“Magic Shop” comforted many ARMYs who were in pain. BTS provided happiness and inner peace to ARMY through this special song. In the lyrics, they also provide us with an overview of the magical place that “Magic Shop” is.

The line, "Open the door, go inside, and this will be what’s awaiting you.You can trust this. To console you, a magic shop.Sipping a warm cup of tea, Gazing up at that galaxy," They also share their own experiences that reminds us that they also feel that way too however, they found hope and so do you. Magic shop seems like a warm hug from them when no one is there to comfort you.

It is a reminder for people like me to retreat whenever you feel lost. It helps me reflect and find peace in a big hurricane of life. By their lyrics, "You gave me the best of me, So you’ll give you the best of you." Encourages us to trust ourselves, and we are stronger than we think we are.

We can feel it in our souls the sincerity and thoughtfulness behind these words; and BTS’ decision to share with us “my story” evokes a feeling of warmth and intimacy between BTS and ARMY as we feel that we are a trusted figure in BTS’ personal life and journey.

Does Loneliness Have to Feel So Heavy?

Loneliness can feel like it’s too much to bear, but maybe it’s not just an empty space. It’s a chance to reconnect with yourself. Instead of pushing it away, what if you leaned into it? This song gives us a new perspective. Your loneliness doesn’t define you—it’s just a part of your story, one you can rewrite with compassion and hope.

So, the next time you feel alone, let the music remind you that it’s okay to feel this way. Share Magic Shop with someone who might be feeling the same—it could be the light they need. Because even in the darkest moments, there’s always room for connection and healing.

Why You Should Listen to BTS' Magic Shop?

When life feels heavy and loneliness creeps in, music can be the best kind of escape. BTS’ Magic Shop isn’t just a regular song. It’s like a warm hug reminding you of your worth and inner strength. It’s a safe place where your pain is understood, your struggles are seen, and your healing can start.

The lyrics speak directly to that small voice in your head that says you’re not enough. Instead of ignoring your fears, the song tells you to face them with love and acceptance. It’s not about running away from your problems; it’s about changing how you see them. Listening to Magic Shop feels like talking to a friend who just gets it. Someone who doesn’t try to fix everything but gives you hope when you need it most.

Next time loneliness kicks in, take a moment. Put on Magic Shop, close your eyes, and really listen. Let these words sink in: “You gave me the best of me, so you’ll give you the best of you.” It’s a reminder that loving yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

If this song speaks to you, check out other BTS tracks like Answer: Love Myself, Spring Day, and Epiphany. They’re like little lifelines for the days when you just need to feel seen and heard.

“Magic Shop” comforted many ARMYs who were in pain. BTS provided happiness and inner peace to ARMY through this special song. In the lyrics, they also provide us with an overview of the magical place that “Magic Shop” is.

#BTS #MAGICSHOP

@joyceelline

[zalder]

TASK #23 THANKFUL

Life has its complexities, but when I pause to think about everything, there’s so much to be thankful for. Life has been good to very good to me and I don’t doubt that the best days are yet to come. The life that I’ve had has built me to be someone that doesn’t fear the unknown or what may come. I can go toward it with an open mind and a full heart.

I’m endlessly grateful for my family. Even though I don’t see my parents as often as I would like, our bond is solid. Growing up in Alaska gave us a foundation of resilience and connection that distance can’t shake. My family’s love and support remind me every day that no matter where I am, I’m never truly alone. I am so lucky to have my brother around town. I’m grateful that he moved here because if hadn’t I might not have ever found Merrock. I am excited for my parents to come around to visit us at the Christmas so that I can introduce them to my found family in town.

I’m beyond grateful for my friends (in all their varieties). There are definitely some people that I cannot imagine my life without. They’ve become very important to me. There is something so special about the intimacy of being seen for who you are and understood. I’ve never felt it necessary to be the most popular person in the room. Having a few people that matter to me is more than sufficient in my book.

Speaking of sufficient, I am beyond grateful for my job. It might not be where I see myself forever, but I’ve grown to love being part of a team that helps the community in such meaningful ways. The camaraderie there is something special, and I’m grateful for the stability it provides while I juggle work and school. Speaking of school, I feel incredibly thankful for the chance to pursue my dream of becoming a teacher. It’s a lot to balance, but every class and assignment feels like a step closer to a future that I’m still figuring out.

I love that I have the space to figure it out and in one of the most beautiful places around. I am grateful for nature, in all its glory. There is something incredible about the sound of the waves touching the sand in the morning, the smell of fresh snow or the variety of colors as the leaves change. I’ll always be grateful for the peace nature provides me.

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week? (Specially The Ultimates #4)

Anonymous asked: Comics this week ?

My Adventures With Superman #4 - I know the DCAU JLU Christmas episode is popular, but I've always been put off by it. I can't help seeing an air of condescension in how it treats Superman being a grown man who still believes in Santa, I get a "yes he's dumb and gullible, but isn't that wholesome?" takeaway from it all. Meanwhile I loved how Josie Campbell explored celebrating Christmas here as an expression of love and family. Ma and Pa adopted Clark as their son even though he wasn't blood, then the comic expands that to touch on how Lois and Jimmy have become "family" too. Even extends it right up to Amazo getting treated by Clark as a brother in a touching moment where Superman willingly shares his powers with Amazo so they both can kick Bloodsport and Deathstroke's asses, and Amazo tells Clark he thinks of Clark as family also. It's all very sweet right up until Deathstroke blows a hole in Amazo at the end. Bloodsport is the coolest he has ever been here, when he brings out the big guns I was hooting and hollering. I think this might be my favorite take on Amazo now too. I dug his DCAU incarnation but this is the first time I'm really invested in him as a character, and there's tension because he might not make it out alive.

Absolute Power #3 - Waid is trying to weave together the disparate threads of the past year into a cohesive whole, while simultaneously trying to shuffle the detritus of the past year off the board. End result is a mess of stitched together moments that don't work imo. Example of that is Nightwing "stepping up" as a leader, yet his push feeling hollow when his team failed to take the League's place. A number of other characters like Barda and Mid-Nite get written out of character so that Dick as the avatar of the Silver Age ethos can prove them wrong. Oh and if I have to read another issue of Waid going HEART is our REAL superpower, I think my eyes might be permanently stuck in a cycle of rolling.

Ultimates #4 - Ultimates #4 reminded me of reading Ruins. Exceptionally bleak from beginning to end, poor 6160 Reed. It avoids being nihilistic at least because there is a malicious bad actor in Maker who is making sure that everything turns out as bad as it possibly can, rather than it simply being the nature of the world. Sets up an Ultimate F4 book for sure, but given how Doom is outright skirting the edge of villainy with how he ominously says he’s adhering to Tony’s moral rules for now, I’m wondering if he won’t actually be a part of the team. Maybe he’s the one who gets captured and Tony creates an Ultimate F4 of entirely new people to go save him? Otherwise I see their failure to beat Hulk being the point at which Doom bails on the Ultimates team. I’d prefer Doom be part of the Ultimate F4 though, he’s simply too interesting as a Reed who is massively messed up but is trying to be a hero. If they do end up making him a villain that would be an utter waste of potential. Maker is already the broken Reed, Doom needs to be the Reed who is bent but not broken. Seeing him walk the tightrope is more interesting than seeing him fall off.

[lmskitty]

Hi again......If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Hi!!!

Tricky!

1. Jujutsu Kaisen

2. Gorillaz

3. Sailor Moon

4. Outlast

5. The Last Binding Series by Freya Marske

6. Neon Genesis Evangelion

7. FMA Brotherhood

8. The Magnus Archives

9. Fake (manga series)

10. Digimon

1. It brought me joy and fandom and friendship again and made me feel like myself after a very long time. I know the narrative can be traumatic but it also has these incredible moments that just feel you with awe (like Todo turning up to help Yuji fight or seeing Gojo do hollow purple for the first time) it just reminded me of everything I love about anime.

2. My first real fandom, the first thing I wrote proper fanfiction for. The lore and the music and the animation just amazed me when I saw it when I was 11 and I've not been happy with decisions they've made recently (overpriced merch in a cost of living crisis, NFTs to celebrate Plastic Beach?!?) I'll still always love them and be excited for new content.

3. First anime love, first time seeing a relationship with two women helping me to identify as bi (now I'd say pan) I grew up believing that to be a strong woman you had to disregard femininity and seeing Usagi be the strongest with her bunny drawings and her focus on friendship and love just rewired my brain.

4. I love horror, I was brought up with it but for a very long time nothing has scared me and I found horror media repetitive. Outlast genuinely scared me and I was SO happy and I love reading the character notes and comics.

5. I've talked about this series a bunch but A Marvellous Light was the first book I'd read in years that made me cry and just stayed in my head for ages. Everything I'd loved about harry potter but done properly.

6. I was at a sleepover at a friend's and someone stuck this on and everyone was talking and I was just glued to the screen because what the FUCK WAS THIS?!?!? I've watched it since with my husband and it still hits me so hard every time. It's such a powerful portrayal of depression and nihilism and how relationships can fuck you up. It's beautiful and I think it's one of the best anime's of all time.

7. The opposite of neon Genesis lol. Love and family and forgiveness and what it means to sacrifice for the people you care about. Devoured brotherhood with my husband and we were both in tears by the end of it. I'd also been told I couldn't have kids and we had struggled with a miscarriage and Izumi and Sig just hit me so hard. (I have a bub now tho it came out ok in the end) but the characters still feel so real and there's so many amazing moments.

8. I listened to all of this and played Minecraft with my husband till like 6 am on weekends. We would discuss at length our theories and it just holds a special place in my heart. It's perfect horror and John and Martin's relationship just means a lot to me. I related a LOT to Martin and loved the series and I've super been enjoying the Magnus Protocol too! Also that first fucking recording of Nikola Orsinov?!?!? We both sat still staring at each other genuinely freaked the fuck out and we still quote it at each other! "I mean, you can if you really want to, but you’re not going to like it." CHILLS EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!

9. I read a lot of BL manga with my friends (*old lady voice* back in my day we called it Yaoi!!!) And so many of them had terrible tropes and big hands. This was the first one I ever read that I still adore that had an amazing love story and plot. It was revolutionary to see an LGBTQ story not just about them being gay or coming out but it had real detective cases and murders etc and I still wish we could get a tv show of it.

10. When Gojo talked about Digimon I fell even further in love. It's the fucking best. I wanted to be Mimi so BAD as a kid my mum made me a Halloween costume of her and I thought I was so cool. My next tattoo is gonna be Lilymon. I grew up with it in the dub and it established my sense of humour for better or worse. The Digimon film is still my comfort film of choice. Matt was such a big crush I had when I was little and I wrote little stories about being one of the digidestined.

Those are my top 10!!!!

[readychilledwine]

Hi! You seem so nice and super sweet. I have some questions to know you! You remind me of a big sister, oh my god something about you is so comforting. :) Anyways, I live in California but I've only lived here for around 7 months. You mentioned before you love coming here, but can I have some places that would be nice to go on vacation? I feel super cooped up in my apartment and want to have a fun time outdoors or something. Thank you! <3

That's seriously so sweet and made me tear up a little bit! Thank you ❤️

We've spent a lot of time in a few different spots in CA, so hopefully, I mention one location near you! The obvious to all of this is beach and book. We are two beach bums when we can be, but I'll hit a few of the cities we've stayed at!

Oceanside is our go to. We like the location, due to military relations so its kind of the perfect spot for us because ✨️family✨️ If you are near that area, the beach at night is so quiet and perfect if you love seashell hunting. Oceanside also has street food/fair events, several cute metaphysical shops, and a few really good restaurants. One of them is a rooftop/desktop outdoor situation, it overlooks the docking area there, and at sunset is stunning.

In the San Diego area, I love going to Balboa Park. There's several gardens that are cheap or free to go to. During November to December, one of them is filled with gorgeous variations of poinsettias. There's also a ton of museums there, cultural houses to peep at, and gorgeous architecture. There's also a shopping area that's cute for giggles to just walk around. It's called Seaport Village. They used to have a shop just FILLED with coffee mugs. I loved it 😅

Heading north a little bit to LA where my partner is from. He grew up near skid row and has pretty vivid nightmares still about his kidhood there, so we tend to avoid the downtown area. When we do go, he always takes me to The Last Bookstore (some of you may recognize the name, it is the one you're thinking), it is just an experience. They sell antique books, collector's editions, and rare first editions along with new books. They have MAGICAL displays made from books. Griffith Park is also very beautiful with lots of things to go to. I'm a fan of anywhere with a botanic and butterfly garden 😅 and that brings me to our favorite spot in LA (minus the beach and hiking in Griffith Park) The Huntington Library. It's a library, botanic garden, and art museum all in one. It is 100% for me and not for him. He loves me dearly, and I am spoiled. There's obviously a lot of other things to do in LA (Disney, Orlando studios, ect), but we've been waiting to explore and experience those things until we had Littles to enjoy them with.

Popping between LA and San Fran is Sequoia National Park. If you are going to go and have never been, plan for a few days. It's... almost like breathtaking how small you realize you really are there.

San Francisco is kind of just... I wish I could describe it as something other than home feeling, considering I'm a midwest farm girl, but it has this magical home calling. We have a main thing we really like to do, and it's a little pricy (but not as pricy as the next location ive been treated to). He loves to see Alcatraz. 😅 he's obsessed. Otherwise it is a LOT of hiking and just trying new food places there. I just really love the vibes there for some reason.

Napa Valley I consider its own place, and it holds the most special place in my heart. He took me there for my 25th birthday. It is pricy, but wine country is so just relaxing. We stayed at this hotel, and we literally just walked out of our rooms patio door and into the vineyard. Im not 100% sure how much our week there was, but he told me not to expect anything for Christmas or valentines that year 😅

If you want really hot and in land Cali, my brothers and baby daddy went to Death Valley for a few days. They started the trip there, then went to Vegas (youngest brother's 21st birthday). My older brother said it was unbelievably hot (literally duh my sweet summer child), but he said the 4 days the 3 of them were there was a lot of fun. They did a lot of trail hiking and drank a lot of water. They all do not regret the choice to check it out. I was not invited on the boys' trip, so I didn't get to go 😑 I'm not salty AT ALL I didn't plan the trip for them or anything 🤣

If you're looking to get out of California, Colorado. Find your soul in Colorado. I highly recommend Georgetown. Not too far from Denver, not so high up in the mountains you have to anxious about snowfall and getting trapped, and I'll just attach the view from the hike into the mountains we went on.

I will push Colorado to anyone needing to get away and get into nature if it is in their budget ❤️ I've never found a town in Colorado I didn't think was stunning.

If you want to stay on the West Coast, Oregon. We went to Crater Lake National Park. One word, Ethereal. A little busy, but so so worth it.

No matter where you go, if you're getting into nature and needing to re-center your soul, find a creek with running water and just put your hands or feet in it, or get into the ocean (to where you're comfortable) and just let yourself have a moment of silence. Water is purifying and healing. It's one of the most powerful elements in our world, and it is where I find the strongest connection to Mother Nature ❤️

Let me know if you want more travel spots!

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Bookclub : The Name of the Game was Murder

Title: The Name of the Game was Murder Author: Joan Lowery Nixon Genre: YA Mystery

Goodreads Summary :

Novelist Augustus Trevor has written a manuscript that reveals the darkest secrets of his guests. Whoever can solve Trevor's clues can have his story removed from the book. But when Trevor is bludgeoned to death, the survivors (along with the reader) are challenged to find both the manuscript and the murderer.

Review:

Okay - back to finishing up reading all of Joan Lowery Nixon's canon YA mysteries. (Because I'm close to the end on these.)

So - this particular book holds a special place in my heart. It was my favorite JLN and quite possibly the first one I bought (if it wasn't On The Other Side of Dark - which, who knows, maybe I bought them together). This is the one that I reread the most -- though upon reread, I had shockingly little memory of what it was about.

And I may have to argue this is the best one that I've read so far.

Interestingly, the thing about this book is that, other than our plucky heroine, there really aren't any of our normal JLN tropes here. No one is from Texas, no matriarch with overlaying Christian values, and no love interest. And while I can tell it's of the same ilk as the rest of Nixon's novels, it does stand out at being a smidge better writing than the rest of the novels.

I'm not sure, though, that it's necessarily good? Just better than what's come before it.

The story is one part Agatha Christie, one part Clue, and one part Westing Game (which -- I can see why I was initially drawn in by this one.) However -- all three of the above are much better in quality, and this almost feels generically mundane in comparison.

Sam comes to a secluded island off the coast of California in hopes that her famous uncle (through marriage) will give her writing tips. It's kind of hysterical that a fifteen year old thinks she can bounce in on a nastier GRR Martin and expect to be given the time of day, but this is also a book where Sam is the only one smart enough to even figure out what is going on.

Sam isn't so bad -- especially when compared to most of the other heroines of these books. She's still a bit altruistic at times, and I find it a little hard to believe that she's the smartest person in the room at all times. But there's nothing egregiously bad about her. I think she's a blank enough slate that the reader could probably put themselves in her shoes without too much trouble.

Her uncle, Augustus Trevor, is a complete asshole -- including to his wife Thea (Sam's aunt being her only friend and ally on the island) and is writing a manuscript that he's using to essentially blackmail famous people. He also put a scandalous story in about his own wife. I realize you're supposed to not be upset about this guy's death but honestly, he is a huge creep - and you have to wonder how and why Trevor and Thea were ever married in the first place.

The famous people are a collection of stereotypes usually found in these kinds of things. A fragile, aging movie star. A Danielle Steele type novelist. A fashion designer (whom I was worried would be gay coded - but even though he was the most vicious of the guests, was not at all painted as queer). An older football star. And a senator (whose politics some what remind me of today's politics.) They aren't all that interesting, tbh, and react to things in the exact manner you'd expect. But mostly they're idiots there because the story needs them to be.

The foundation for the mystery is intriguing enough, but maybe now that I'm older and have read so many more (better) mysteries, it feels stale and standard. The clues given you might be able to figure out if you're very clever - but feel like they're stretching. And I wish the backstories of everyone weren't info-dumped a few chapters from the end.

The ending was as abrupt as usual - and while the book mostly hints at who did it, I wish there had been just a little more to go on. And I wish there had a bit more closure.

Just wanted to make a final note about the atmosphere and setting of the book. Now that we're in the 90s, it doesn't have that same dated feeling as the earlier books did. But I have to add there's a hilarious sequence where everyone argues about how little they know and use computers.

Anyway -- I won't be surprised if I walk away with this being her best book. I think I may like A Deadly Game of Magic a little more due to the creepy atmosphere - but this is probably the best written. I suppose that's as close as a recommendation you're going to get for one of these books.

Rating : 3.75 Stars

[flowerish-cherry-blue]

book review: the sorrows of satan by marie corelli | 1895

summary:

the setting is london, 1895, and the devil is on the loose. he is searching for someone morally strong enough to resist temptation, but there seems little chance he will succeed. britain is all but totally corrupt. the aristocracy is financially and spiritually bankrupt; church leaders no longer believe in god; victorian idealism has been banished from literature and life; and sexual morality is being undermined by the pernicious doctrines of the "new woman." everything and everyone is up for sale, and it takes a special kind of moral courage to resist the devil's seductions.

my opinion:

well… it wasn't easy, honestly. i confess that the first 10 chapters i thought i would die of boredom, although the most boring novel i've read so far was dracula, in terms of writing style, i mean. i really struggled to get through the intro where all geoffrey does is talk about how poor he is, don't get me wrong, i think it was important to make it clear what kind of character he is, but i think it could have been done in a more interesting way.

after i got over the opening of the book, i will say right away that it was all clear and obvious to me who was who. that is, from the first only mention of lucio i understood that he is satan, when lady sybil appeared i understood that geoffrey would decide to marry her, but there would be no happy ending for them and that mavis clare is the author's alter ego, and in fact the real love interest of the character. there weren't any interesting plot twists in the book, maybe a couple literally when they were sailing on a ship from england and perhaps the first death of that poor man from the gambling club.

overall, if you close your eyes on the predictability and boring writing style, i liked the book just for its moral and message that those who have everything may not appreciate the little things and be spoiled, like geoffrey, to whom money overshadowed the view of the real world, and that those who lack something in life learn to appreciate what they have, like mavis clare. this is what i appreciated in the book, and there were also some very beautiful moments, for example the discussion of balance in art, the scene where lucio sang while playing the piano and of course his monologue when geoffrey realized that he was satan.

of the whole book perhaps the following can be highlighted, as every book has pros and cons:

• despite the rather boring beginning, the book becomes interesting in the aftermath, even when you're just watching geoffrey try to find love or lucio pulling the strings like a puppeteer.

• although i said the plot is pretty predictable, a couple of moments still pleased me because i wasn't expecting them.

• i was invariably pleased with the morals and message of this book and i think this is a major plus, it was probably the best way to teach everyone a lesson with an example like this.

• in places the book reminded me of something in the style of edgar poe, and this appealed to me because there was some kind of dark vibe.

• the development of the character of geoffrey made me happy, he went from poverty to riches to a kind of stability, i think he is a good example for people today of how in one moment you can gain and lose everything.

perhaps this book is recommended to read for a reason, for the millionth time, i will say its meaning is what people today should remember - appreciate what you have and don't forget, that's why i liked it, so i would advise you to read it.

my rating:

3.9/5

sleep, my beloved, sleep!

be patient! － we shall keep

our secret closely hid

beneath the coffin-lid, －

there is no other place in earth or air,

for such a love as ours, or such despair!

and nether hell nor heaven shall care to win

our loathed souls, rejoicing in their sin!

sleep! － for my hand is sure, －

the cold steel bright and pure

strikes through thy heart and mine

shedding our blood like wine; －

Sin's sweetness is too sweet, and if the shame

of love must be our curse, we hurl the blame

back on the gods who gave us love with breath

and tortured us from passion into death!