#this area

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

as an aroace person with limited sexual experience, no interest in watching porn, and poor sex ed as a teen, there IS something simultaneously funny and vaguely tragic about being 28 adult years old and realising how extremely tiny your frame of reference is for genitalia and deciding you should expand this to better understand bodies (yours and others). and then you're just there like "okay so what the fuck do I even google right now, anyway"

[aximili]

tbh the fact that cats purr was an unnecessary bonus we don't always acknowledge. they're already cute and baby and little and soft and make silly noises and do funny shit. but they also like to cuddle and make a soothing pleasant noise to indicate they are happy when they cuddle you? huge. huge for the human race.

[wrenchwenches]

[thesecretuncle]

Baltimore is a beacon of hope in the war against The Machines

[bumblebeebats]

"Don't just throw ripped jeans away, you can repair them using these 10 cute Visible Mending techniques!!" unfortunately my friend the first point of failure for every single pair of jeans i have owned in my life has been the Crotch and Ass. Knees: fine, cuffs: fine; but 3 years in, and all that stands between the world and my astronaut-patterned taint is 0.5µm of denim worn so thin that every squat threatens to tear it to shreds like wet toilet paper. If the Tiktok craft community could figure out a way to resurrect jeans afflicted in such a way that doesn't involve adding a whole ass buttpatch like some sort of inverse assless chaps situation then that'd be great

[stuckinapril]

It’s actually disgusting me that people are choosing to forget about Palestine not even a full year into this ongoing genocide. Nothing is better. Nothing has slowed down. It’s just underreported. It’s just that western media outlets aren’t pretending to care. The iof is still targeting aid distribution centers, it’s still killing hundreds of Palestinians a day, it’s still preventing medical aid from entering North Gaza. So many diseases are robbing families of their loved ones. It is worse than it has ever been. Less people are talking about it now because they no longer want to be bothered to care

[kropotkindersurprise]

May 4, 2024 - CNN writes about how the mean anti-genocide protesters silenced a lone counter-protester at the University of Pennsylvania:

How did they silence him, you ask? They drew a circle around him in chalk, and labeled it "Designated Dingus Area":

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[gothra]

If you’re making a video about tradwives, why is Nara Smith in the thumbnail? Is she an out and proud conservative who believes in the traditional definition of a Godly American marriage, thereby she is not a trad wife? No? Then, she is not a tradwife. Nara Smith is a thin, conventionally attractive woman who wears sophisticated outfits and has kids and cooks in her big fancy kitchen. She is not a tradwife, she is a professional, likely affluent model who runs the equivalent of an amateur TikTok cooking show. She is not attempting to manipulate you into becoming a submissive, dutiful housewife, she’s making money off of your engagement by maintaining a brand. She is polished and prim, not because she’s trying to portray some sort of natural ease in being a traditional mother, but because she doesn’t want to be clowned for a distracting dirty kitchen. She wears fancy clothes because she’s a model, who gets paid to wear fancy clothes, probably IN the videos. She has three kids because she wants three kids, or however many she has. She’s not perpetuating an unreality, or playing into some deeply insidious narrative about what it means to truly be a woman and a wife and mother, YOU are just poor, and SHE has money, so your lives look different, therefore making her reality inherently different to yours, which isn’t her problem. She doesn’t have to preface every video with an apology or an assurance that you don’t have to go through all of the trouble she does, and she shouldn’t have to. She is a BRAND because she is a BUSINESS. Her work, her videos, make her money! Of course the things she does seem staged and sterile, she is staging and sterilizing her work space to maintain an image online. It’s not her fault you don’t understand branding, and it’s not her fault you failed to learn the message the past decade and the most immediate technological “advancements” have been teaching us: sometimes things online aren’t real. Next are you going to tell me that you think that everyone in every advertisement is genuinely that happy to be wearing/eating/drinking/driving/using the product being advertised?

The elements of Nara Smith’s public persona do not add up to traditionalism, they add up to hyperfemininity at most, and at the very least, a minuscule injection of traditionalism from a Mormon upbringing. Tradwifery isn’t when women wear fancy clothes and cook, it’s when women DON’T work outside the house as successful models who wear crop tops to show off their pregnant bellies. It’s when women follow a traditional, Godly plan for marriage, birth control and childrearing. It when a man works outside of the home as something that isn’t “model”, and his wife (who also isn’t a model) stays home to raise and homeschool 2+ children, and cook and clean and maybe tend to a garden and read her Bible by candlelight and shut her mouth. It’s a woman who is jobless, uneducated, diminished according to “God’s” will. The tradwife isn’t just some lady you don’t like, she’s molded physically and mentally by her upbringing and shaped by the hands of the men around her. She is quiet, she is private, she follows her husband like a lost puppy. The pillars her identity rests upon are repression, conservatism and religious femininity, the kind that makes you wear skirts that go below the knees, and tops with collars to the neck. The most modern tradwife MAYBE has social media, and every video, every post is meant to perpetuate the myth that she is happy and that other women will be at their happiest if they follow her lead. The most important part of “trad” wifery, is the TRAD part, which stands for TRADITION. Miu miu is not traditional. Exposed belly bumps are not traditional. These “commentary” videos like the one I’m referring to do half of the work of investigating the perils of femininity and hyperfemininity, and traditionalism and only succeed in confusing themselves even more because it’s more important to them to pretend to be a journalist than sit with and analyze what they’re saying. This is coming from someone who has a finely tuned radar for subtly anti-feminist propaganda. I can and will scrutinize every aspect of a performance of femininity. I will squint and roll my eyes at every makeup tutorial and GRWM. I will question shaving and waxing and high heels and skirts and bras and porn. One thing I WON’T do, is use a term I KNOW doesn’t fit to make money on a YouTube video.

If Nara Smith bothers you, she just bothers you. If her inaccessible cooking style bothers you, it just bothers you. If the way she dresses bothers you, it just bothers you. That’s it. It JUST bothers you. You’are allowed to feel bothered, and annoyed, so what’s the point of lying? Are your personal feelings so under attack that you have to resort to making up a reason? That you have to resort to making yourself look stupid to justify a half-assed thinkpiece about her? If you want to discuss her potential plagiarism from smaller creators, discuss that. If you want to discuss her kitchen safety, discuss that. Don’t insult me by making shit up, because I’m on the same internet you are! I can watch her videos too! I can take notes too! And I can easily see that your problem with her is the fact that you are simply tired of being advertised to. You’re tired of seeing rich people, and you’re tired of seeing pretty people. Who cares? Be tired of it proudly, but be tired of it and do your research? Quit using areas of feminist study as a personal kiddy pool and get real!!!!!!!!!!

[los-plantalones]

reblog to share some mint with your followers. just don't let it escape containment, okay?

Edit as if 6/17: Y’ALL FAILED ME

[greelin]

my dark twisted secret is i always use my turn signals whenever possible because i believe they were included in vehicles for a reason. i’m a bit of a freak this way. a weirdo

[subterra-rose]

Honestly pokemon is the ideal universe not just because there’s cute animals that are your life companions, but because they have walkable cities and adequate biking infrastructure

[yeoldenews]

An excerpt from the trial of Elinor Crane, who was arrested in Middlesex in 1693 on suspicion of burglary. A witness claimed one of the burglars was a woman in men's clothing, and Elinor had previously been seen in the area dressed as a man.

"But the Court asking her why she went in Mans Apparel, the Prisoner replyed, She went to Wooe a Widow. Upon the whole Matter the Jury brought her in not Guilty."

(source: Old Bailey Proceedings: Accounts of Criminal Trials, April 26, 1693.)

[dapper-lil-arts]

Can we talk about the kind of woman Applejack attracts.

[plumbum-art]

"...we both get plenty of use out of it..."