#this arc actually feels together and concise

[crackedhrglass]

i got this ask on my strawpage and was gonna type it up in my notes app and post it to twitter, but i really couldn't figure out a way to say it concisely, so i'm answering it here bc it's prob gonna be long lol.

do i think stancest is actually canon? simply put, no. despite how often i'm like "STANCEST IS CANON!!" i truly don't think that AH and the writers intended stan & ford's relationship to be seen through an incestuous lens.

their relationship is def the heart of the show, second only to dipper & mabel's own bond. they are the center of each other's worlds, their story & character arcs revolve almost entirely around each other, and their happy ending is literally the two of them sailing off into the sunset to spend "the rest of their days" together (ford says this almost word-for-word in journal 3).

but i still don't think all of that was meant to be taken romantically.

in my opinion, where things start to get a little weird is, surprisingly enough, ford's relationship with bill.

the rest is under a cut bc HOLY SHIT this got longer than i expected.

there's no denying that bill was written to deliberately parallel stan in a number of ways, from his mannerisms, to his conman status, to the fact that he calls ford the same name stan did when they were kids.

he's written in a very intentional way that makes him serve as both stan's parallel and his foil, especially in their respective relationships to ford (bill feeds into ford's ego and encourages him to aspire for greatness alone, stan has always been a direct obstacle & challenge to ford's ego, accidentally ruining his chances at WCT & encouraging him to live out their childhood dream together; bill valued infinite power over his own family and destroyed his dimension as a result, stan valued his family over everything, and saved ford and his dimension as a result).

normally, this wouldn't be that big of a deal to a stancest shipper like myself. but as the book of bill & the accompanying website all but confirmed in big, flashing neon lights, ford & bill have a romantic history and are exes.

having the two people closest to ford be compared to one another is one thing. having ford be drawn to bill because of how similar he is to the brother he secretly misses is one thing.

having ford be romantically involved with said character is what makes me raise an eyebrow lol.

again, do i think ford is literally a brocon who's got repressed sexual/romantic feelings for stan?

no.

i do, however, think he has unresolved Brother Issues that led him to subconsciously find comfort in a romantic partner that reminded him of stan (right down to bill calling him stan's nickname for him) in much the same way a person with "daddy issues" may seek out affection & intimacy from someone who reminds them of their father (or is just "fatherly" in general).

that much, i believe, was actually intentional. it's just too blatant to not be lol. it'd be a completely different story if either

bill & stan were nothing alike (untrue) or

ford & bill's relationship was strictly platonic and didn't have any romantic implications (also untrue)

i've said this before, but this isn't just a case of "oh, ford fell in love with someone who just coincidentally reminds him of his brother." bill's use of the nickname "sixer" during their first encounter was a deliberate attempt at appealing to a part of ford that was repressed, vulnerable, and aching, in order to get ford's guard down and make it easier for ford to trust him, and it worked.

billford is a ship that, to put it bluntly, would not exist without ford's buried feelings for stan, even disregarding shipping/incest/etc. ford's desire to be close to stan even platonically is what allowed bill to needle his way into ford's heart in the first place.

and all of this wouldn't be that weird if, again, bill hadn't continued to feed into ford's longing for stan even after they'd established a romantic relationship, by still calling him "sixer" and trying to permanently sever the relationship he had with stan specifically, once he and ford broke up (the phone call he tried to make while in ford's body that was described in tbob).

to put it another way, imagine if wendy was basically an older, taller mabel, or if any of mabel's crushes were eerily similar to dipper. people in the fandom would def take notice and view it as a little strange. so i don't get how people can look at ford dating someone so blatantly and intentionally similar to stan and think to themselves "ah yes, this is normal. ford is completely Normal and definitely doesn't have any underlying issues whatsoever" lmao

to conclude: no, i don't think ford & stan's relationship is actually canonically romantic, nor do i think ford falling in love with bill was incestuous, necessarily.

but i do think that he had a desperate longing to reconcile with stan buried DEEEEEEP down, and it manifested itself in the form of being attracted to bill, which is probably why he never bothered correcting bill's use of the nickname "sixer" since their very first meeting, or ever expressed that it made him uncomfortable.

[gawrkin]

Lancelot is actually the character I fail to understand and like the most, because it's either the writers love being inconsistent with him or he just doesn't strike me as anything interesting. His relationships are really hard to decipher too. He's devotedly in love with Guinevere and was made specifically for her, but the next — Gawain is mentioned as being the man he loves most? Even though Gawain is married to Ragnelle?? Do all these characters just get multiple/different love interests whenever the authors feel like it? That whole ring retcon, the relationship he has with Arthur that I can't even begin to comprehend, everything about him is so confusing to me lol. But that's not to discourage anyone who likes him. Would love some insight in case I'm wrong about him or about his relationships. I guess I just want an answer as to who this guy loves, and why he was suddenly made into Arthur's buddy buddy when they haven't shared a single adventure together.

To put it concisely, Lancelot's a character who started off with a simple premise (Courtly Love/Fin Amor) but because of that premise (and cultural milieu of the time), he became massively popular as a result.

And with that Popularity, came in more writers who wanted to take a crack at this new-fangled hero and his deal. And with new writers came new ideas and plots and characters; and before you know it, Lancelot's overtaken the mythos and Lancelot's character has been skewed left and right depending on who's writing him. (Comparisons to Comic book Superheroes have been made)

The various inconsistencies throughout the stories you see, posted here or read elsewhere, are the result of multiple writers tying together numerous, contradictory narrative lines to create a "canon" of sorts, much like the modern idea of a shared universe.

To breakdown your ask

Lancelot's relationship with Guinevere is different from his relationship with other characters - Gawain is stated to be "the Man Lancelot Loves the Most" but that's really from a platonic, heteronormative deep friendship-type POV (remember, as Christian Medieval stories, actual Gay Love is... y'know...). And this relationship, however significant, is ultimately subordinate to Lancelot's love for Guinevere. If given a choice, Lancelot would (painfully) choose Guinevere over Gawain and Galehaut 100% of the time.

Lancelot and Guinevere's relationship is what we modern viewers would perceive as an actual romantic couple, but there IS a Physical aspect to this. Lancelot and Guinevere relationship is really meant to be Sexual and Erotic. (So don't believe anyone online that says Courtly Love is chaste. It most certainly is not)

Lancelot and Arthur being made buddy-buddy in Later and Modern stories is more-or-less based on the assumption that "Strongest and Bestest Knight = Close Relationship with the King". Many later writers, starting with Malory, presume that as the Greatest Knight of the Round Table, Lancelot has to be Arthur's most cherished comrade and brother-in-arms, right? Having seen through many challenges and hurdles together, Lancelot had to be a good friend to serve Arthur faithfully? Right?

What doesn't help matters is that Le Morte D'Arthur (and its source materials) is an abridged version of the older narratives, skipping over many story arcs and missing many critical plots points that only now we - in the Social Media era - are just beginning to realize. As a result, many prospective writers before were left scrambling to fill-in-the-blanks and details not covered by popular retellings, and as a result, older nuances got lost and assumptions are made.

[edalynn]

I've recently seen someone defend the bad writing of Huntl0w with "it's just because the show got cut, it would've been better if it had time!", but I disagree.

Firstly, I'm generally annoyed with people defending every flaw of the show by "but it got cut!!". Yes, some issues are because of the cut. However, the writers weren't forced to write the show the exact way it turned out, they could still make decisions about it, and they should've carefully considered what to include and devote screen time to, since they knew they had less of it.

If Huntl0w was always the plan even before the cut, but they knew they didn't have time to develop it properly, they should've just cut it. Plain and simple. It contributed nothing to the characterization or the plot, cutting it would change nothing aside from surface level blushing (highlighting how pointless its inclusion was). Fans could still ship it, crew members could still ship it in personal art, but it didn't need to be in the show.

And the "but it's bi4pan rep!!" defense for keeping it in doesn't hold up, since there's zero confirmation of Willow's identity in the show, and Hunter's entire. confirmation is a small blink and you'll miss it flag that's on screen for like 3 seconds. If a more casual viewer didn't notice that one detail, they wouldn't know this isn't just a straight ship. For an m/f ship to be good rep the characters need to be SHOWN as queer, not just confirmed via tiny split second flags and the creator confirming it on a livestream. And making them a couple despite them barely talking also reinforces some heteronormative and amatonormative messages.

(And there's the "love heals all" trope problem with WHEN the writers chose to have them hint at becoming a couple/the feelings being mutual, and just generally a problem with the pairing being the conclusion to their arcs when that's not what either of their stories were about)

Secondly, I just don't think their personalities work well together. They don't have romantic chemistry, there's no spark, they don't mesh like Luz and Amity or Eda and Raine. The only way they could be "developed" to fit together is if you retcon their personalities and tailor them into a dynamic after they've already been established, which is not good writing.

Huntl0w is just a fundamentally weak pairing. I don't think it could've been fixed, I think it would've always had a "pair the spares" feeling to it. Neither have even shown interest in romance before, and we've been given no compelling reason why they would be interested in each other specifically. The "half a witch" thing isn't it, 1) them being called the same slur isn't romantic, and 2) their experiences aren't actually that similar, Hunter has much stronger parallels with Amity (they even had the same deepest wish - to figure out their own future). Interestingly, they also barely interacted, but what we did get actually offered a strong foundation for further development of their friendship had the show not been cut.

Okay, this is one of the best, concise explanations as to everything in the show that's wrong with hunt/low. It literally never in a million years could've even been hodge-podged together to make a compelling, intriguing romance.

It contributed nothing to the characterization or the plot, cutting it would change nothing aside from surface level blushing

(And there's the "love heals all" trope problem with WHEN the writers chose to have them hint at becoming a couple/the feelings being mutual, and just generally a problem with the pairing being the conclusion to their arcs when that's not what either of their stories were about)

I feel like these both go hand in hand. Not only would not adding it have not changed a single thing about the story, but even hinting at it actually damaged their entire arcs all together. Willow's whole arc was about being strong enough on her own, while Hunter's was about discovering and becoming himself and who he wanted to be. Making both of their arcs end in them being forced to rely on each other (almost seeming co-dependent-ish) when they've barely been shown to have interacted on screen really negates every single bit of character growth we've seen up to that point.

And the "but it's bi4pan rep!!" defense for keeping it in doesn't hold up, since there's zero confirmation of Willow's identity in the show, and Hunter's entire. confirmation is a small blink and you'll miss it flag

Also, Dana literally said that her saying it outside of the show airing & unless it is actively shown on the show, makes it headcanon only. She is the creator, yes, but she made the point to say that even what she says should be considered headcanon and that everyone should be encouraged to have and share their own. So technically, it's bi4??? rep at best.

Secondly, I just don't think their personalities work well together. They don't have romantic chemistry, there's no spark, they don't mesh like Luz and Amity or Eda and Raine. The only way they could be "developed" to fit together is if you retcon their personalities and tailor them into a dynamic after they've already been established,

100 million percent. They barely even work as friends honestly, especially from the very few times we see them interact on screen. Willow is brash, confident, and holds a grudge. None of those things would be good for Hunter, an abuse victim, in a relationship. Hell, the way she pulls him underground in asias is SO reminiscent of the way Belos does the same thing in HM, it makes me uncomfortable to rewatch. And she was totally ready for the school to turn him back over to Belos despite his begging until she was convinced he actually had been with Gus, and even then it was just so they could save Gus. And on the other hand, Hunter is impulsive and fiercely overprotective of the people he cares about, which goes directly against Willow's drive to prove she can take care of and protect herself. None of those traits scream romantic compatibility lmao. In all honesty, it's more likely to create a toxic relationship, especially coupled with Hunter's trauma and PTSD.

The "half a witch" thing isn't it, 1) them being called the same slur isn't romantic, and 2) their experiences aren't actually that similar, Hunter has much stronger parallels with Amity

Yeah... I've never understood the romanticism of being called the same slur lmao... And you're totally right about Amity and Hunter having far more in common than Willow and Hunter. Amity and Hunter parallel each other amazingly and the way their friendship was set up really would've made for a far more interesting arc, especially throwing Luz into the mix as Amity's girlfriend and Hunter's "rival" sister.

They definitely should've been dropped when the show was shortened, if they were ever intended to be canon in the first place. The way it was hinted at and their interactions and arc in the show is just lazy at best and damaging to their characters at worst.

[loth-creatures]

Knowing how much Ahsoka struggled to be Sabine's master --- would she get advice from Kanan when she visits Lothal? Most likely giant wolf to giant wolf??

Wellll see I kinda ditched the entire Jedi!Sabine narrative. Listen if they HAD to go that direction, I believe they could have done it well but they really did not (to put it generously), and while I've considered trying to do it better myself, at the end of the day I wish they just hadn't done that at all.

Tldr: Ahsoka and Kanan probably will have a giant wolf to giant wolf conversation but idk if it'll be about looking out for Sabine or searching for Ezra or what

So this is my tentative and unrefined interpretation of Ahsoka and Sabine's relationship for SWW Ahsoka, aka roughly how I imagined it would be like before that damn show ever came out (sorry in advance this spiraled all over the place. I meant to elaborate a little bit and then I couldn't stop. I tried to keep it concise but. There's a lot to unpack that I didn't expect to have to unpack in order to get to the point lol)

First and foremost Sabine isn't fucking Force-sensitive. Ahsoka teaches her a lot about the Jedi, and continues her lightsaber training, and I think Jedi teachings and excercises can have a lot of value to ordinary people! But she's not trying to be a Jedi. Ahsoka does feel mentorly instincts towards Sabine, partly bc she knows what she's going through as a very young veteren and genocide survivor. Partly bc she does feel the need to pass her knowledge on to someone. Partly bc deep down Ahsoka is pretty damn lonely too, and Sabine is very family-shaped. And also because wolfwalkers stick together.

They call her Ahsoka's 'practice padawan' as a joke. Huyang is like. You really ought to find a Padawan one of these days. And Ahsoka's like. Why would I need a Padawan I have Sabine. And Huyang is like. Listen I'm very happy to have Sabine with us but you ought to get a real Padawan.

But how could Ahsoka ever take on a student while she's still wrangling with whether or not she wants to be a Jedi? Which, they never actually show her making a decision on that. Or rather there's really no transition between "I am no Jedi" and whatever she's got going on in the show which. Long story short, I hated it. Ass writing. In my personal opinion.

I think I’m just gonna lean into the idea that she feels like she can't truly be a Jedi whether she wants to or not bc she was trained to be a soldier instead, combined with the fear of Anakin's darkness manifesting in herself, distrust of his training, etc. Up until the point where she decides to put Anakin behind her for good and trust in her own experiences, during her WBW adventure (which goes way differently in my head but I will elaborate on that later. Maybe.) But for the purposes of this au, she doesn't even commit to being a Jedi again until dying for the 3rd(?) time and honestly maybe she still doesn't. Maybe it takes all the way to wet puppy Shin dropping in her lap that she sees her path as a Jedi path. Idk.

Ahsoka's arc is not an aspect of the story I expected to address in depth myself so idk how much I'm gonna get into it within the comic itself. It's hard to go over every issue bc lothwolfwalkers is just an anthology series adapting small chunks of the timeline that I find work well with the wolfwalking, and I'm trying not to make more work for myself than I have to, bc I already have plenty. Rewrite is maybe a strong word, when I'm just cherry picking what I liked from the ahsoka show and adjusting what I didn't like in a way that keeps the overall plot intact for simplicity sake. I will eventually write an official detailed ahsoka-from-my-head post, but the comics will just be little scenes based on that.

Anyway,

Regarding Sabine and Ahsoka's falling out. It doesn’t happen. In fact I think Ahsoka will take Sabine under her wing after the fall of Mandalore and they just immediately start looking for Ezra in the unknown regions, bc Sabine is like hey I have nothing left here can we go look for my brother now. They don't find anything. Eventually Ahsoka gets wrapped up in other business and Sabine ends up back on Lothal depressed as fuck (despite Kanan, Hera, and Zeb's best efforts to be there for her, infinitely more than what is depicted in the show) until Ahsoka finds the map and shows up for round 2. Or smth like that.

Side note: I am going to declare the Wrens MIA not dead. Because I hate hate hate that they were unceremoniously killed off screen and wasted the way they were. I guess I could just unkill them completely but well I am a sucker for that angst and something about the devastation of that reveal seared it so deep in my head that I can't imagine the story without it now (thanks for that Dave. Fuck you Dave.) So uh, they're trapped on Mandalore with those other survivors from Mando S3. After Sabine's already left for Peridea they manage to finally get off Mandalore due to S3 events and track down Hera and are like WHERE IS SABINE. Cue Clan Wren Ghost Crew team up to get their fucking kids back. Though everyone will probably make it back on their own before they figure out a way to hop galaxies.

[nebia92]

SPOILERS: MY WINE-FUELED S3 RECAP OF MSHD

You know... I was looking forward to this final season for 12 months. Almost sure that they would end up together because of the promo materials and natural telenovela-esque story arcs (although, let’s be honest, as LB+ watchers we can never be to sure about a happy ending). But, despite my endgame coming true, this season felt deeply underwhelming. After episode 5 the series completely lacked any affection and close scenes between Mariana and Ana, especially on Mariana’s part. Suddenly the episodes solely focused on them in relation to the babies - and on all the other couples. And, with the ending we got, it just felt so underserved. We didn’t truly see Mariana’s realization that she might have been wrong about “being confused”. The break-up with Ferrán came completely out of left field (a bit of a deus ex machina, if you ask me because without him having a kid, she might have even stayed with him, despite his unreliableness and aversion for children in his space/home). We didn’t get a conversation between Ana and Mariana that went beyond the kids’ well-being, their businesses and “by the way I love you”. We didn’t actually see them reconnect and share a space beyond quick pecks. And even the rest of the plotlines... these characters all had so much potential. Instead, we got redundant, repetitive, almost circular stories. I mean...how often can a couple break up and get back together because their priorities don’t align (looking at you, Cynthia and Pablo; as well as Fernanda and Juan Carlos). How often can a teenage boy be insecure about a girl (Ro! Yes, and I know... the answer is “quite often, just like girls and any other teenage hormonal person attracted to the female sex” - however, in a concise narrative approach, that emotionally almost identical situation doesn’t need to be shown 2 or 3 times). I think the series lost focus. It’s an ensemble series, but it forgot its core dynamic. And that’s why a season of only 10 episodes somehow ended up feeling too long and tedious. Because there was so much character development and potential that was just skipped over in favor of repetitive plots. That hunger and physical closeness as well as emotional intimacy we saw in the kiss between Mariana and Ana in the S2 finale was never shown again. Same with Mariana’s tenderness and hope when it came to Ana in S1. And Ana’s love confession involving bikes felt a bit public and cringy. Maybe because we skipped all the potential close and confusing situations/tropes that would have come with “fake dating” not to mention the true emotional repercussions that would have come after that and after sleeping together. Maybe because they rarely had any scenes just the two of them, where they talked about anything but work and the children. Which means: I’m happy about the end game, but narratively I am far from satisfied. Aaaaaaand with that I end my first official tumblr post/ tv rant. Thank you all - which is probably 2 people, if I’m lucky - for reading this far.

[clarebear-0925]

Flowers, Fight Scenes and Isolation: My Prediction for the Future (And Possible Ending) of Jujutsu Kaisen

Hi. So seeing this extra for volume 26 finally spurred me to articulate all of my thoughts on this subject in one place. Sorry for the length, but let me cook.

Here's the big idea: I believe that Gojo is in fact going to come back— but with a major catch.

Lets review the (mostly theme-based) evidence, shall we?

Firstly, throughout the entire series, we know that Gojo has been incredibly lonely, isolated at the top by Jujutsu society,

As summed up by this iconic panel, with just him, vast empty white space, and his title, the only thing that most people know him for/define him by, aka “the strongest.”

We also know that isolation played a big role in his mental state and thinking until his death, and is something that Gege made sure to reemphasize during his last moments in chapter 236.

In this conversation, Gojo expresses the gap he felt and also sets up the connected imagery of him and flowers.

(In addition, I feel as though it is also significant that the person he finally opens up to about his feelings on this isolation is Geto- more on that later).

Next, JJK is commonly nicknamed “jumpkaisen” as a joke by fans due to how often the characters team up against the villains. However, I think this pattern actually has more significance in the overall narrative than being a funny quirk.

Over the course of the series, we have seen all sorts of teamups between a wide variety of characters- like the widespread jumpkaisen nickname suggests, they are an iconic part of JJK's combat.

However, one character in particular is exempt from this trend- Gojo. (and also Sukuna but we’ll get into that later too.)

He is always fighting alone- as an adult, we never see him fight alongside anyone else the way that other characters do. Even the villains note this when planning their battle strategy:

This is is made especially clear in the final battle (especially with the contrast between the mostly solo Gojo v Sukuna fight and the absolute dogpile that is going on in the manga right now).

The only times we ever saw Gojo fighting alongside another person is with Geto in his youth. Geto is also the only person who didn’t him as “the strongest.” Instead, they were the strongest together, and that is reflected in how they fought together.

But then after everything in Hidden Inventory, Geto too starts to see that gap between him and Gojo.

This results in him leaving Gojo, thus permanently isolating him as “the strongest.” (See also the change from "we're the strongest" in the Hidden Inventory Arc to "I'm the Strongest" in JJK episode 2).

We never see him fight with another person after that.

Ok, so now let’s put these two points (Gojo's isolation and its connection to the fight scenes) to serve up a prediction.

I believe that Gojo is going to come back severely weakened to the point that he will finally have to (or be able to) fight WITH others- in particular, the students who he has made it his express mission to protect and nurture so they can go on to improve Jujutsu society.

This would be in sharp contrast to Sukuna, who has continually refused any chance or notion of love and connection, likely due to his belief that it is unattainable due to his strength.

(Serena on TikTok has an amazing and concise video on this topic- go watch it if you're interested in a better understanding)

I also think that this development would be a great way to show that Gojo HAS been successful in his goal to nurture a better future of Jujutsu- rather than the society isolating and systematically breaking students like it did Geto, the students are now all working together to defeat this insurmountable evil.

So, in conclusion, yes, Sukuna will in fact be defeated by the power of love and friendship (and a couple dozen or so black flashes), and it is NOT Gojover.

Also, here is some vital supplemental information (again from the amazing Serena) regarding the flower depicted on Gojo’s cover and the volume 26 extra.

I think the fact that Gojo compared himself to a flower in Chapter 236 as he died, and the fact that the flower in the supplemental (who he is clearly connected to via the cover art) hasn’t hit the ground yet is a very good (and more concrete) sign for his chances of returning.

Thank you for reading and sorry for the length! I would love to know your guys' thoughts on this theory and what you think will happen in the future of JJK! :)

[sunbloomdew]

my olba mc timeline!

introducing my darling buttercup, Haru Nakamura :D

finally i can post this! i'm very happy to talk about a character i have been working on since may haha. does that mean they are fully cooked? let's talk about something else :) insert why do they call you babygirl meme

you don't wanna know how long was the process of making this one drawing,,,, 1/10, would do it again no question, but god did that take time. here's the sketch for comparison :]

(hopefully) short and concise description of each step below + a couple of songs that i assign to each step, from their playlist because i can and i will

ʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰʰᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃ ᵗᵘʳⁿˢ ᵒᵘᵗ ⁱ ʷʳᵒᵗᵉ ᵃ ᵇⁱᵗ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ʰᵃʰᵃʰʰᵃᵃʰ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵃˡˡ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐʸ ʰᵃⁿᵈ ⁱⁿ ᵐᵃʳʳⁱᵃᵍᵉ ᵇᵗʷ

now before i move to each step, i want to take a moment to talk about Haru's name. they are japanese american (their biological parents were both japanese people who moved to california) so i wanted them to have a japanese name.

first their birth name, Kaito. i picked this [快仁] way of writing it. 快 means "pleasant, comfortable, agreeable" and 仁 means "humanity, benevolence and kindness". i chose it as their birth name because of a few reasons:

first, some other ways of writing this name include a kanji that means "ocean, sea". it's an obvious connection to the setting of olba, as well as the character's deep connection with sunset bird, especially in their childhood.

the meanings assigned to the version i chose, describe haru at their core and during step 1 when they use this name. they are a comfortable presence whose greatest desire is to make meaningful, genuine connections with other people (fucking extravert). while they are pleasant they are a people-pleaser as well - part of their journey is to unlearn that.

it sounds very cute and they are the sweetest kid

now the name people actually know them for, the one they feel describes them the best - Haru. the kanji that i picked [春] means "spring, season of growth and renewal" and it's precisely what Haru's 'arc' is about. the meaning and value of their personal growth, understanding themselves and working with oneself instead of against.

a little tidbit about their name: there is a kanji with which it can be written that means "cherry blossom". those flowers are considered as a symbol of spring in japan, usually blooming between the end of march and beginning of may. another fun fact, haru's birthday is on the 2nd of april :]

Nakamura is a surname i chose instead of Last in the game. i thought it would be fun to headcanon that the family's surname is actually from Noelani's side (some Hawaiian last names are Japanese in origin, hence Nakamura). The kanji i picked to write it are [中村] - 中 meaning "in, inside, middle, center" and 村 meaning "village, hamlet". I think of it as a reference to sunset bird itself.

so once we put all of the ingredients together it already forms an image of a character. i've been reading a book by david day "the hobbits of tolkien" in which the author describes j.r.r. tolkien's process of creating the hobbits. it's very fascinating, the way in which he used his philologist knowleadge - digging up the word first and then tracing it's origins and the word family to slowly create the hobbits we know today. my process of creating haru was somewhat similar in methods, though definitely not the process (god no, i am nowhere near tolkien's level). i wanted to mention that because the words we use to describe the world, or in this case characters are important.

i like to think that haru's whole name means "spring in a village", with them being the embodiment of said season, connected to an undeniably summer town. a little bit like baxter, our resident autumn boy stumbled into a seaside tourist town. only in haru's case the lines are more blurry. i think of them as the manifestation of the spring/summer period, when the sun shines brightly and trees bloom but the wind is still chilly and strong.

in any case, let's move further! fairies know i could talk just about their name forever

Step 1: welcome to childhood folks! in step 1 Haru uses their birth name, Kaito, and he/him pronouns. Kaito is a lonely child who wants only one thing - to have a friend. he is too fat, too shy, too different from other kids his age, which leads to him being isolated from them. this plants the first seeds of his insecurities that will follow him into the future. being ignored and laughed at really impacts Kaito, who only wants to make friends with anybody. it makes this thought slowly grow at the back of his mind: "there is something fundamentally wrong with me." thankfully, he has the support of lizzie and their moms and the soothing sound of the waves and the warm sand at the beach, which make his social isolation feel less hurtful.

when it comes to his personality, Kaito is an open-hearted, open-minded kid who is quite shy. he is naive, terribly impatient and impulsive which can be a fatal combination. curiosity is another defining trait of his - not really with any things of an academic nature, but definitely about other people, so much he can be very nosy. despire that he is pretty good at reading social cues and figuring out people's feelings. if only he had enough foresight to actually confirm his thoughts with others - he is prone to assume things solely based off his judgement. he is empathetic and a good listener. his tendencies in people-pleasing are only starting to grow, but it will be a huge problem down the line.

a sidenote about his design: colours chosen for each step hold a meaning. the colour palette for step 1 is a triadic colour scheme with purple, teal and yellow. i chose those colours because they remind me of summer, and in step 1 kaito is at the beginning of his growth as a person. at this point in their life, they are connected with summer as a season the most, because they have yet to begin the process of figuring themselves out and understanding themselves.

Cove moving in is a turning point for Kaito. he changes his life by befriending him. it doesn NOT alleviate the insecurities and doubt still nestled in Kaito's heart. rather he views Cove as someone special for befriending him. the setting for their relationship is Nervous Fond. Kaito likes Cove immediately (as they do with most people, they are very open) but is very nervous about this whole making friends process.

Alright this all probably sounds very angsty but this internal turmoil of Kaito's is (for now) very much in the background. think of it like a box covered with sheets, dusted over and hidden in the attic. step 1 is mostly cute kid shenanigans (and some crying).

Songs:

hawaiian roller coaster ride - mark keali'i ho'omalu, kamehameha schools children's chorus; lilo and stitch original soundtrack

the right amount of dumb - kan gao; finding paradise (original game soundtrack)

i have a hole in my tooth (and my dentist is shut) - dodie

take me anywhere - kan gao; to the moon (original game soundtrack)

second child, restless child - the oh hellos

(the right amount of dumb is like their theme in step 1 because they are a bit of a dumbass <33 silly little kid)

Step 2: ahhh early teenage years. i think 12yo and older is the time when you start to realize how profoundly fucked up reality is and react appropriately! which is exactly what Haru is going through, on top of being obsessed with becoming popular. sigh.

step 2 is very rough for Haru. for one, their insecurities from childhood only grow. they see their inabilty to create a large circle of friends as a reflection of their worth. their self-esteem is at all time low, which is why they do everything they can to cover it up. kids are cruel so they cannot show any weaknesses. in order to cover up their low self-confidence they become very arrogant,they arrive at this conclusion: if they are so unlikable (false) then they only need to pretend to be someone else entirely to make people like them (bruh. teenage brain is a mystery).

and so begins their fabrication of themselves, altering parts of their appearance, personality even giving up and picking up hobbies just to appeal to the 'popular kids'. deep inside they know that this is futile. you cannot make people like you, you cannot make them respect you if they don't no matter how hard you try. but they are so starved for social interactions, that it doesn't matter at the moment. if they get to hang out with the cool kids, if people wave to them in the corridors then what does it matter that the person they are greeting is fake?

those purposeful but forced changes consume them. they are constatly playing a role around people they know but don't trust - they can only relax with their family, Cove and Derek. but even then, they aren't fun to hang out with that much. seeing as they can reveal their true thoughts only then, it makes them constantly angry (at everything, but at themselves the most probably) which affects their relationships with their friends and family.

to them it feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. they can't bear their soul to the cool kids group, because that would mean admitting that they are not a person they pretended to be - this loud, out-going, larger than life, perfect person. and in their head they think they can't reveal anything to their loved ones either - it would mean admitting defeat in making friends.

so yeah, the struggle is there y'all. despite all the harm that comes from their behaviour and their environment, they learn a couple of things too. they realize they aren't a mind reader and perhaps asking people about their problems is better than assuming you know what is wrong, even if you are like 99% sure you know. doesn't mean they won't ask in the most blunt, tactless way possible tho. their shyness as if evaporates completely - you're not gonna make it far in middle school being shy. funnily enough, they are a massive people-pleaser. you'd think that this bold, boisterous teen star would be far from it, but every action Haru performs in their school circle is for the approval of others. if there are any mild upsides to their state is that they can fulfill their innate need of connecting with other people. it's not deep or meaningful in most cases but what can you do.

as you probably noticed, the main colour of this step is green. but why? green is such a nice colour, with so many positive meanings... sike! i mean yeah it is, but you know what else green symbolises? greed and envy. i used green for this step to highlight haru's desire of becoming popular not as a genuine dream, not even as a way to connect with others but because of the immense jealousy they felt. of other people who got to have friends that liked them for who they are. of elizabeth especially, who never seemed to struggle with making people like her. in this stage of their life, green is definitely a negative colour for them.

the comfort level in step 2 is Direct Fond for both Cove and Derek. no matter which route i'm deciding on romantically, haru does not have a crush on anyone in step 2, or at least doesn't allow themselves to have.

Songs:

freaks - surf curse

kawaki wo ameku [カワキヲアメク] - minami [美波]

carnivore - starset

stand out fit in - one ok rock

remember my name - mitski

(i especially like carnivore for this step because haru starts avoiding eating meat, cause they don't like the taste that much. the choice of this song is a bit of an inside joke for me, also the lyrics fit very well)

Step 3: we enter era of healing! i'd say in step 3 haru is at a solid 3/4 way to doing better internally. step 2 was their lowest, but now they are beginning to bloom. but growing older doesn't only bring knowleadge and growth, it also brings a new lot of issues to deal with.

Haru has been confronted about their behaviour. the impact it had on others and on themselves (there was a lot of crying and broken confessions, not a good time). as they reached their limit, they finally decided to speak their feelings and accept help from their loved ones.

now, it's hard to simply get rid of one's insecurities, especially those that seemed to be reinforced by the outside world for a long time. they use a strategy as old as time to deal with (not cover up anymore) their low self-esteem - fake it till you make it. some of their arrogance stays with them, as a blanket of security in a way, but they are determined to be confident in themselves.

their growth starts with a somewhat superficial thing but one that they always cared about: their clothes. they were always interested in clothing and fashion but only in step 3 they move a bit further with that interest and begin to make clothes on their own. it's an important passion to them, not only being very therapeutic but also allowing them to express their true self, both in terms of their personality as well as gender.

a major shift in their perception of their relationships with others was caused by realizing, that gaining popularity was not going to make them feel fulfilled. they had always desired deep, meaningful relationships, and while being recognized at school was nice, it wasn't really what they were looking for. this in turn make them rethink their whole "pretending to be someone you're not" business and with their loved ones assistance they figured out that... it simply wasn't worth it.

and because haru is the most impulsive person on this side of the globe, they did not ease themselves into this realization but again forced themselves to abandon their old ways in favor of being painfully true to themselves. and then everybody smacked their foreheads.

haru is a lot kinder to themselves now, courtesy of cove and others, but they still tend to ignore themselves in favor of somebody else. their shyness returned, and they no longer try to force themselves into acting more out there than they are. since the let down their walls, they speak their mind without thinking and are prone into agreeing to things immediately, often finding themselves in uncomfortable or annoying situations.

right now their most pressing struggle is dealing with becoming an adult. they feel as if they had just got peace and stability in their life and yet their friends are leaving or staying, getting jobs, time is slipping through their fingers like sand and everything is different. haru themselves feels very lost and overwhelmed by the future, so for now they latch onto people, their friends, sister and moms and try to spend as much time with them as possible, drowning the sound of their own fear in their laughter. on top of that there is a new guy in sunset bird, who seems to have a bit similar internal struggles to them, and haru feels like they could make a connection for life. i wonder how that will go :]

step 3 colours! they wear a lot of different colours because their style is mostly inspired by the 80s, plus they like to go crazy with the clothes they make. but colours that appear the most are definitely pink and yellow, plus a little bit of green. green appears in smaller amounts and in shades closer to yellow to express it's different nature than the green in step 2. this time it represents growth, freshness and hope.

now yellow is a very important colour that i consider haru's main colour. they are simply inseparable in my head. it was completely gone from their colour palette in step 2, and in step 1 it had more of a golden shade, one reminiscent of summer, but in step 3 it brings forth thoughts of spring more. it is purposeful, as Haru is finally growing into the person they want to be. yellow's positive meanings are among others optimism, happiness, creativity and enthusiasm. but it can also be associated with fear and cowardice and that is definitely something that fits haru in this step as well.

pink is prevalent in this specific outfit, but like i said, the clothes they wear in this step are pretty colourful. still, it holds meaning, seeing as it's also visible in their step 4 clothes. pink is invincibly linked with romance and romantic feelings - something haru allows themselves to open up to in step 3. like most things about them, if they have a crush on somebody their infatuation comes fast and strong, seemingly out of nowhere. but other than romance, pink is a colour of youth and playfulness.

after dealing with all that teen angst, they are very playful. combined with the dread of the future and genuine excitement they finally feel, they are a sweet, sociable person. the comfort level is Relaxed Fond, unless they have a crush on either Cove or Baxter, then it's Nervous Crush.

Songs:

permanence - bears in trees

wishing well - the oh hellos

infinite - lyn lapid

summer depression - girl in red

what if it doesn't end well - chloe moriondo

(i didn't put this song here despite it being the first one on haru's playlist, but teenage dream by katy perry is such a step 3 haru song)

Step 4: sweet woes of adulthood! Haru has grown and grown up but of course, life is a continuous string of things happening and us having to deal with them. some things stayed the same, for example their big ego. from aiming to cover up their low confidence, to actually gaining a healthy amount of it, like in most things they do, they went overboard. and while some of it is still a little bit of a defense mechanism, they are also completely insufferable and a beast of self-esteem. you win some you lose some.

they grew into the person they were always meant to be: free spirited, open, empathetic and creative. even so, they still retain their oh so recognizable traits. their curious, almost nosy demeanor, impatient nature and people-pleasing ways. they are still reckless though not quite as impatient, they learned to be a bit more chill.

haru learned to manage their intense nature. especially when it comes to meeting new people, they realize and respect the fact that not everybody will be eager to form a deeper bond, as much as it confuses them sometimes. they have always been ride or die type of person, but growing up has mellowed them out a bit.

the most growth happened with their way of managing their relationships as well as their perception of themselves. they are a lot more mature and as such manage to maintain their relationships. even if they still sometimes assume other people's thoughts or take up too much upon themselves, they see what they have accomplished and are very proud of themselves.

their struggles now involve the usual perils of adulthood, but mostly keeping up with their friends and making sure everything is alright. other than that though, they eagerly travel and go out of their way to meet even more new people - they do need someone to anchor them, or they will get carried away and eventually step on somebody's toes (or fail to return from another state on a scheduled date).

speaking of their adult relations, baxter leaving was a huge blow to them. like traumatic event rank S type of thing. when they meet again it's a storm lol

when it comes to Haru's other dreams and goals, i picture them with a business that makes custom clothes, like handmade ones. their side job would be helping out cove with surfing lessons and his business. they like to work with other people and are a fairly good leader, but they dislike doing the simple tasks because they are so boring.

last design notes! so there is yellow and pink, a bit of blue and white, at least in this outfit. yellow, pink and white are their characteristic colours, but green finds it's place here too sometimes (to drive home the spring theme more).

like i mentioned, haru's colour is yellow. it's the colour of sunshine, buttercups, the sand and some birds and fish, and most importantly it's the colour i associate with spring (along with green). haru is a character that represents the late spring, teeming with life and joy, intense in growth and weather, downpours or clear skies alike.

i don't think there is much more to say about the colours in this step, as in my opinion yellow is most significant. pink also connects with haru's acceptance of femininity and figuring out exactly how much they associate with it. and blue is the colour of the sky :)

in step 3 they are at Direct Fond or Crush. I like their energy in relationships with other people :]

Songs:

hey blondie - dominic fike; barbie the album

everybody loves me - onerepublic

never gonna not dance again - p!nk

sick of losing soulmates - dodie

rebel rebel - david bowie

dancing with myself - billy idol

(hey blondie is such a bop holy shit you guys- also very much a haru song <3)

wow i can't believe i actually wrote this. i am very particular about my characters so now that i have this sort of "introduction" for haru posted, i can post other things about them! don't ask me how that works, it has to be chronological

if you've read this thank you very, very much <3 and if you didn't, fair i feel you lol. feel free to ask about them if your heart desires :]

toodles~

[scribefindegil]

authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Yayy! Thanks Mary! <3 After agonizing it for a while, my top 5:

The Real World (Mob Psycho 100, post-Mogami arc) is absolutely my favorite fic I've ever written. It's some of my best prose, I'm really pleased with how concise and focused I was able to keep it despite touching on so many characters, and it let me distill down a lot of my thoughts on the themes of the show and why it's so important to me. And I wrote it during the absolute worst stretch of the curse, painstaking sentence by painstaking sentence over the course of half a year. I am so so so proud of it.

Fisherman's Knot (Gravity Falls, post-canon fic focusing on the Stans, their deeply-entrenched mental health issues, and their eventual recovery. Also there are selkies.) At 104k words, the longest piece of writing I've ever finished. Writing it was a journey; I took a long break but I'm so happy and proud that I managed to come back and finish it and that there were still people who were as excited as I was to get to the end. The response to this fic blew me away; it started out largely as a coping mechanism to deal with my own poorly-treated mental illness and I feel really honored that my writing resonated with so many people dealing with similar things. I grew so much as a writer over the course of it. Both the big moments of catharsis--Stan's glitter and Ford's realization by the harbor--were things that were so powerful and electric in my head that I worried I wouldn't be able to put them down in words that did the feelings justice, but I did!

Bloom (Discworld, a Glorious 25th of May fic set a few years after Night Watch) Everyone who sets out to write a Discworld fic is undertaking an extreme act of hubris, because not only are you trying to emulate a specific writing style, you're trying to write like Terry Pratchett, which as we all know is basically impossible. Still, I think I hit some good resonant Discworldy notes in this little piece and really nailed the Themes I was going for. Periodically the Tumblr post version gets a little burst of notes and it always makes me really happy that people are enjoying it.

First And Final Orders (Mob Psycho 100, Dimple character study) Hi. Have you heard of ring composition? I love ring composition. It is my single favorite literary device (and I love a LOT of literary devices), so I had to include one of my fics that makes heavy use of it. I also love pointing at a piece of media and going "Hey. Hey have you thought about how there's kind of some Discworld themes here? What if we thought about the Discworld themes together?" And ALSO i love DIMPLE!!! I hope this fic helps explain why.

Casualties (Gravity Falls, missing scene from the finale) So the reason this fic makes this list isn't so much its quality (though I do still really like it!) but the fact that it was my first-ever completed fanfiction. I'd idly poked at the idea of writing fic a couple times before but never made much progress. I hadn't actually done any creative writing for years at that point. I came to fandom late due to a combination of being scared of the internet and, when I did check out my real-life friends' fandom blogs, feeling like everything was so focused on shipping that there would be no place for me and the kinds of stories I cared about. Gravity Falls changed that. I'd made friends and felt like part of a community for the first time. I'd read fanfic that I loved and that focused on the sorts of relationships I really cared about. And so finally I decided that even though it still felt really scary, maybe I would try my hand at actually writing and posting a fic of my own.

360,000 words and 54 works later, I still think it was a pretty good idea.

[ad-hawkeye]

ok so it's lit student again and im like, already lacking sleep but instead of sleeping i'm gonna go catch up on all of artem's cards Just Bc like i genuinely have no idea why it's always in the dead of night that i get hit with an overwhelming wave of adoration for artem?? i'm about to start YAPPING in your inbox again im so sorry DHAKDJKS *does it anyway*

continuing off my last ask they me think of the movie i watched recently called "past lives" that's fully centered around the concept of fate (it's so good 10/10 i really want to see artem review it),,, i won't spoil but it's like hshsjadhsjhdjshs "destined by fate" but fate doesn't tell you what it holds for you??

after watching it i looked up more about the term "inyeon" (korean term for fate or providence) which the movie heavily emphasizes on and found a reddit post talking about it (i'll paste the link below <3) where they quote a comment explaining its meaning and what it says is that inyeon isn't just about the person you're destined to end up with, but also the people you encounter in your life. basically, with inyeon, your string of fate isn't simply linear but also looped around every person you'll interact with. to reach the person at the end of your "string of fate," you're supposed to treat each interaction with respect or else you'll never find them AND LEARNING THIS MADE ME LOVE THE MOVIE EVEN MORE 🥹🥹🥹

a lot of destiny tropes give the characters an easy way to end up together kinda like the opposite of "doomed by the narrative" as in they could do simply nothing and still find their way to each other, but to reference the comment from earlier: your destiny doesn't end the moment your meet your "destined one." artemrosa learned so much and worked so hard before they became a couple a d still continue to grow both individually and together even after they started dating 🥹 they're still the same precious individuals that they were in their pre-dating arc, only wiser and stronger with combined forces 🫶 they aren't together just because fate wanted them to be, they Made it happen and they're still Making it happen‼️ something something every choice i made, every path i took (indirectly and directly) led me to you

like. i genuinely wanna know more about how they met/knew each other in college because it's SO fascinating to me that their paths have crossed so many times, and they don't just simply get together. a lot of things happen that they learn from that shapes them into their best versions that also complement each other. to me it's like,, no matter what happens, what they feel for each other or how the end up, their paths will always be destined to cross, whether it's by brushing past each other on the street and never meeting again or becoming each other's partners both in work and in life and as seen from the different universes that hoyo has shown us so far, we can see that they always end up becoming each other's most cherished person, despite the varying journies that led them to that point WUAWUAWUA

pls enjoy my rambling i might actually pass out from this 😭 good fucking NIGHT

p.s. this was not written with the proposal card in mind god bless 🙏 that's an example of "it happened bc the gods demanded it and they sent a lightning bolt down to everyone who opposed it"

https://www.reddit.com/r/redikomi/comments/16drqze/the_meaning_of_fate_in_yeon_%EC%9D%B8%EC%97%B0_in_korean/

omg shut up i literally read this AFTER replying to your last ask and we literally came to the exact same conclusion HAHAHAHA OMG NO WAY. SUFFICE TO SAY. YEAH. I ENTIRELY AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS.

THIS SPECIFIC SUBVERSION OF THE RED STRING TROPE is WHY i love it in artem's route!! ohhh it's so GOOOODDDD YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT!! YOU HAVE TO BECOME BETTER PEOPLE!! my ass in 2021 would not shut UP about this and dear god im not going to shut up about it right now.

i just want to say you not only took the words out of my mouth but you also made them more concise and well said and ooughhh. Artem Fans. read this. NOW. you will all look at this post. oh im dizzy. oh im going so insane.

[anulithots]

Happy Sunday!! A few questions about The Land of The Fallen Fairies to start off your week!! 💚

What's your favorite part about writing Anuli's story? What's your least favorite part (if there is one)?

How does Kamari's life change after all that occurs with Anuli? It seems fae is affected most directly by faer choices. It's very interesting!

Lastly... please tell me more about Ankh. So mysterious. So intriguing. I must know everything. 👀

HAPPY SUNDAY!! Thank you for the questions. (I love them)

Question 1) Favorite and least favorite part about writing this one:

My favorite part about writing Anuli is faer ridiculous prose. Fae will talk to faerself, go off on tangents, spent an obscene amount of time describing the stories of dust and spiders and fae will have morbid descriptions of feelings. (Bad feelings get metaphorical body horror, whereas good feelings get nature surrealism.)

I basically get to take a feeling or a random thought and explore it as Anuli, and I can pretty much do this whenever I want.

(I also like Anuli and Kamari scenes because they are so so silly... before they get tragic... which is also fun!)

My least favorite part about writing Anuli is something I hope to stop doing, because it isn't really part of writing Anuli inherently, but more so because of the storytelling method I was following before.

Basically: I hate writing long scenes/like a normal novel.

I prefer episodic snippets.

For Kamari, this isn't an issue, faer prose is direct and concise, so I can get through scenes within a day.

I spend months writing one Anuli scene because of how much fae thinks/how different faer prose style is.

The workaround I'm trying to employ is writing small snippets. So any one of Anuli's tangents counts as one 'scene' (similar to how I write Kamari's snippets, except for Anuli it would be a lot of these snippets in one larger 'scene')

(I'm not going to rewrite my long scene to be snippets unless it works out that way tho... this could be one of those 'multi-part episodes'. )

The funny thing is that I was doing this (a bunch of Kamari and Anuli fluff) before I got to a 'pivotal scene' (everything changed when the fire nation attacked)... and I wrote a long scene. Granted, I was writing multiple sections of it at once (Anuli's prose is soo weird, I'm basically doing multiple drafts on different pages at once and I'll have to puzzle piece them together later)

TL;DR - the plan for Anuli is to get faer storyline to a place where I can write one 'scene' in a longer arc. (Again, similar to Kamari, but Anuli takes a LOT longer to have any plot development because of Anuli's thinking.)

2) How did Anuli's decisions affect Kamari?

Anuli pretty much ruined Kamari's life.

Because of this one decision (hence my long scene because this one moment literally changes everything) Kamari's entire life went downhill, and Anuli never stopped regretting it.

(And Anuli didn't even know what fae did was wrong until Kamari got upset... and ANULI HAS HIGH EMPATHY SO IT FEELS LIKE FAE IS DYING WHEN KAMARI IS UPSET WHOOPDEDOO <3)

Kamari's life as the High Protector? Gone. All for nothing.

Kamari's life with Ankh? Gone. Now Kamari would have to kill Ankh. Wonderous!

And the thing that does it for Anuli is that (once Anuli realizes that it's faer fault) Kamari did everything for Anuli, and fae ruined everything.

Yet Kamari still cared afterwards.

Fae shouldn't. It would've turned out better for faer if fae didn't.

And Anuli will never be able to fix it. No matter how hard fae tries.

3) the mysterious Ankh

(When I wrote that 'Ankh's smile did not match faer face', I did not think that it would actually be hard to draw. I was a fool.)

And I think part of the reason that Ankh is so ~mysterious~ is because

I

don't

have

much

for

faer

so I hide that <3

But anywhosies! Here's what I have for faer so far, I'm still figuring faer out though, so some things are subject to change!

(Also I'm almost to the point where both Kamari and Ankh get to Ankh's tree and that should have some more information about faer.)

Ankh doesn't show much emotion. Fae doesn't feel anything that strongly for it to show upon faer face. Rather, fae is practical and observant, and fae cares so so much.

Ankh shows that fae cares with advice and suggestions. Fae also trained to be a healer.... and a comforter apparently... so both! Fae can do both!

(Healers and comforters are two different roles. Healers will heal wounds and more short-term ailments. Comforters help with long term issues and general health. Ankh wanted to be a healer, but the others pushed faer to be a comforter, because it didn't match faer personality. It made faer look cold and heartless compared to other comforters.)

Ankh doesn't realize that fae comes across as cold and heartless to others, nor does fae particularly understand why others get so hung up about their emotions. ("Why would you feel sad about that? It's only [logical explanation])

A lot of younglings love Ankh though. Particularly the ones that are more fallen fairy-esque than the rest. Ankh does like being around them, and faer tree. Fae doesn't understand how someone would fret over such small, small issues: like the way Ankh phrases things Everything is fine. Why ruin that?

Ankh comes from the Receiver territory. And in the Receiver territory, they value independence and a lack of influence from outside forces.

And Ankh doesn't seem like the best influence to some of the guardians. (Why is fae so harsh!? Why would we let faer be around our younglings!?

Meanwhile the younglings: you are our favorite fairy ever.

Ankh: None of you make any sense.

The younglings: *laughter*)

And this is the RECIEVER TERRITORY. It's so so rare for them to out a fallen fairy because they value independence so much.

But if someone makes them uncomfortable....

Yea so they collectively gave Ankh up to the ambassadors.

Ankh, being practical, decided to make them regret that. Fae would chew faer claws to sharp points if it meant fae would survive. Fae would kidnap/convince the High Protector to stand down because this entire system is so ridiculously dumb. Fae would....

Well, fae can't exactly distance faerself from the Receiver Territory. Faer tree is there. And Ankh needs to regulate the ~weird feelings~ when fae is away from faer tree. Fae hates that.

... so perhaps not a revenge plot. Maybe a 'forget you all I'm doing what is right and fixing your mess... your welcome' plot.

(I'm still working on Ankh, but I think faer thing is supposed to be about society, that you can't really be satisfied without society accepting you. That Ankh has to fix it first... but by the stars that is difficult.)

__________________________________

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS!!!!

Let me know if you wish to be added or removed from the tag list! <3

@waitingforthesunrise @sm-writes-chaos @holdmyteaplease @full-on-sam @osbob-the-existent @awleeofficial @clearcloudlesssky @gummybugg

more ramblings

I JUST REALIZED THAT IF KAMARI'S RESPONSE TO SOCIETY IS THAT FAE NEEDS TO COMFOM, AND ANKH'S RESPONSE IS TO FIX IT...

then they juxtapose each other!! YAY!!

(And Anuli doesn't really care about anyone other than Kamari, so faer response to that is to ruminate and regret and punish faerself)

[aotopmha]

Oh, looks like I have a draft with a bunch of little unrelated thoughts about FF16 I couldn't really fit anywhere else.

So here's some random observations.

(Spoilers for the entire story.)

- I really like how the relationships are handled in this story.

It feels so "normal" to me.

In many stories it sometimes feels like a single relationship is the only element that remains of a character once it gets underway.

This is especially true with female and gay characters and also teen romances (and in that case there is grounding to it, considering how teens are working themselves out to begin with and how huge of a deal relationships can be to them), but it happens in so many stories with adults, too.

Dion and Terrance act like a regular couple who care for each other.

(This especially cool since, as said, gay characters tend to only be their relationship.)

And especially after they get together, Clive and Jill do, too.

Sometimes adults are even made to act like teens.

But while Clive and Jill have an element of awkwardness at first, too, they are adults. There is a lot less shame about simply being in a relationship or talking about feelings with the opposite sex. Clive's hesitation doesn't come from her being a woman, it comes from his traumatic life.

And while I think the sex is pretty empty shock value in most of the scenes, I think Clive and Jill get the best scene because it's just as much about the feelings as it is about the sex.

And afterwards there is simply a shift to their relationship becoming that of an actual couple rather than two people trying to connect despite their baggage.

And if you notice, the scenes with both of these couples are about feelings concerning both halves of the relationship.

There is criticism of Jill mostly featuring in romantic scenes with Clive by the end of the game, but I feel like they're scenes that are always about the both of them. And both of them always bond over something they both know.

Be it their struggles or worries or childhood memories.

It's such a solid part of the story to me.

- The fact that Joshua wss willing to save his mother was such a cool character beat because the truth is that Annabella did treat him well and he didn't go through the same gauntlet of horrors Clive did that completely changed his opinion.

It's such a little detail, but super neat because that's how family relationships work.

Dion killing his father goes under this, too. His father clearly wasn't the best person anymore, but Dion clearly bore with it because he cared about him.

Dion is a really, really good concise character you learn a lot about in basically every scene he's in.

But this element of complicated family ties/caring about awful family members considered here is super cool to me.

-Ultima's presence as a alien manipulator speaking in an alien language was kind of fantastic.

How he tried to use Clive's own face and lack of control to lead him to the path he wanted, but initiated his growth instead, how he manipulated Kupka using his love for Benedikta and Clive's face and how he used Annabella and her new child to manipulate Dion's father and in turn break Dion.

His eventual more obvious role was so frustrating to me because I think his manipulation was so neat and used the humanity of the Dominants in a cool way.

- I like that Torgal has his own little arc of protecting his friends by turning into Fenrir and I like that his main connection is actually to Jill because she's Shiva, but also because he hung out with her the most. It somehow felt like it made Torgal out of all characters also have a complete story.

- Ultima's theme is the one that has stuck to me the most out of all of the tracks in the soundtrack. I love how it is used in combination with Clive's across the final boss encounter.

With all of this said, I think I truly might be FF16'd out for now.

Story is still living rent free in my head, so this is on somewhat shaky ground, but feeling like taking a break about talking about it because I've posted about it so much.

[twinkboimler]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Tagged by @m-b-w, thank you!

Questions are answered under the cut!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

58 works

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

693,141 words

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, only Star Trek; while my focus tends to be on TOS, AOS, and SNW, I'm open to writing for other trek series and will when the inspiration strikes! Previously, I've written a fair amount for MST3K and Anne with an E.

4) Top 5 fics by kudos?

Imagining Something Worthwhile - AWAE Oddly Unexpected, Oddly Charming - AWAE Hush - AWAE Heaven Help The Fool Who Falls In Love - AWAE An Endless Stream of Tomorrows - TOS

(lmao, can you tell I was writing AWAE fic as the show was airing? I think that was the only fandom I've written for while a fandom was at it's peak popularity)

5) Do you respond to comments?

Not always and I do feel bad about that. I try my best when the comment is especially sweet or lengthy, but I've got about 10 unread comments in my inbox right now that I haven't replied to because too much time has passed and it feels like it's too late

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

with trembling hands, my SNW Spock/Pike fic that has a sad ending. Super happy with how angsty that fic ends tbh I really wanted to write a fic for Spock/Pike that tackled how Pike would end their relationship as the radiation stuff was quickly approaching

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've posted so many fluffy oneshots that it's kinda hard to choose. An Endless Stream of Tomorrows is definitely high on that list

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. The closest I get in the trek fandom are comments correcting me on some lore in my fics. Which, sure, is sometimes nice and useful, but sometimes I don't really need a "um, actually--" on a 1000 word fluff fic

9) Do you write smut?

Yes, and I'm finally at the point where I really 1) enjoy writing smut and 2) think I'm getting good at it

10) Do you write crossovers?

I have one, and I so RARELY get to talk about it because it was written for me and like two friends. Night Shift is my crossover fic: it's Spike from BTVS X Gambit from X-Men (and apparently it has 21 kudos??? who are you people reading this crack ship???). Anyway, Gambit and Spike hook up and through a series of misunderstandings, they end up on a roadtrip/fleeing a murder scene together. Spike thinks Gambit is a demon, and Gambit has no idea Spike is a vampire. I'm realizing I haven't reread this fic since I posted it, which is WILD because this is such a self-indulgent fic, so I'm going to go read that now

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but people are free to do so! Just credit the original work :)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! Between You and Me (AWAE) was such an interesting project to work on! There was a group of about 13 of us, and we all had a week to read the previous chapter and write our own chapters to continue the story. I'd love to do something like that again

14) What's your all-time favorite ship?

Spike/Buffy, but funnily enough, I don't have a strong drive to read fic for them. I'm satisfied with how the show handles their relationship arc and haven't really had to resort to reading fic because of that

15) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I don't post wips that I don't intend to finish. I've got a few wips in my docs that may never be finished of course, but on AO3 my only wip rn is Place Your Hand In Mine, my AOS academy-era mckirk fic, and I fully intend to finish that one; other fics (trektober, zines fics, etc) just got in the way

16) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and smut

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Still trying to be a more concise writer; I'd love to be able to say more with less words

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I haven't taken a language course in 5+ years. I think if I had to I could write some simple French dialogue, but not without doing a lot of studying to make sure I was saying what I meant

19) First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3, X-Men. IRL? when I was 12 the only person I knew who wrote fic was writing Youtuber fanfic, so I tried that out for a short stint before immediately shifting to Doctor Who

20) Favorite fic you've ever written?

what remains unsaid. I don't think it's my best fic, but it does hit all the beats for what I often look for in fic, so it's doing everything that I want in a story. What really draws me to some of the TOS Movies is how they deal with themes of parenthood and Jim never really fitting into the role of father and being very aware that he doesn't fit that role. I just really love that he's shown as having faults, like yeah, he wasn't a father to David and he knows that. This fic is in a 5+1 Things format exploring Jim's relationship (or lack of) to David. It's not a ship fic; it was just a chance for me to explore those themes and really dive into Jim's head.

TAGGING: @antspaul @ladywaffles @diabeticjedi @gunstreet @borbtrek and anyone else who would like to do it, feel free to say I tagged you!

[michelleelizabethtanner]

Hi. Just wanted to say how much I appreciate your work on Rough Night. I looked forward to Fridays all week ever since I found your story and couldn't wait for updates and was so excited every single time, it became my Friday night treat haha. I saw your note about being on here so hopefully this is okay to ask (and just pls ignore if not). When did you know what the ending would be? It seemed to me like the whole thing just flows naturally to the conclusion but I started reading about halfway in and I saw from the original description you didn't have a planned ending at first. Just really curious how you made the whole thing tie together so well!! Thank you again for writing it all and being such a bright spot in my week.

Anon! This is so sweet! You made my day. And it’s Friday. My second Friday without an update. It’s so weird!!! So really, thank you for the ask because it feels like I’m still writing them. 🥹 Everyone who read and commented always made me feel so so loved. I’m so grateful.

It’s funny because to me the story doesn’t feel super cohesive at all, so it’s a super nice compliment that you feel it was. It makes me feel a lot less insecure about it. I made these long, meandering situations where we just watch Brio exist in their relationship. That’s all product of unplanned story. Lake Vacation was very much filler. They didn’t HAVE to go on vacation. I just wanted something soft to write about. Annie and Rio bonding didn’t HAVE to happen. I just like spinning domestic Brio round and round and watching them as they behave like “normal” people. All the lengthy, domestic moments did serve a purpose of Brio taking those baby steps toward increased intimacy and closeness. I just think had I actually had a plan, those steps would have happened in a more targeted and concise way. So my lack of direction got us 200k+ words. 😁

I had been planning how to end RN almost from the start. Chapter one was a one-shot. There wasn’t supposed to be a story at all. Then I added chapter two and three… Then I wanted Beth to really show up for Rio in reciprocity for his support of her, so chapter four happened and THAT was going to be the stopping point. But it just kept going.

The ending I ended up with became a more formed idea and goal around the time of Lake Vacation, when I first started discussing it with my friend who beta read for me, and began its trajectory in earnest when Beth went to the police charity event. That event was a super poorly thought out idea, actually, because that police event was supposed to be part of the final story arc. Something about it was supposed to carry over, but nothing really did other than the implosion of the Beth/Ruby relationship. I initially was thinking the police relationship would help Beth get Rio off the hook, and Rio donating to the charity event under his own name could be later used to further Beth’s anti crime standing by bringing Rio along with her in a publicly accepted way. Like, “See, he’s a good guy. Wrongfully accused. Forced to serve jail time. And he’s such an upstanding citizen! Donated money to police charity. Supports local youth programs.” Kinda like that. Give Rio a place in Beth’s world since Beth got a place in his, further blending them into a cohesive unit.

But I’m really happy with the way the story ended and even more happy that you and others enjoyed it. It’s been such a joy writing and interacting and enjoying the fandom with everyone. ❤️❤️

[tragicbackstoryenjoyer]

This or That

tagged by the lovely @queenslayerbee :)

Historical or Futuristic?

DEFINITELY historical. Nearly all my WIPs are heavily inspired by historical events, if not directly set in them.

Opening or Closing Chapter?

Both can be great, but I'll say opening chapter for now, since the best of them can do a wonderful job hooking you into a wider story.

Light and Fluffy or Dark and Gritty?

Dark and gritty all the way. Just look at my URL. I'm not a huge fan of the little grimdark I've read, but I'll take it over a sugar-sweet rom-com or slice of life almost any day (no shade against rom-coms or slice of life stories, there are some I like, they're just not my favorite.)

Hard or Soft Magic System?

Hm, depends on the story. Hard magic systems can be incredibly fun, but I tend to prefer stories where magic is a bit rarer and thus more mysterious. So soft magic system it is, but that's an opinion easily subject to change.

Stand-Alone or Series?

Stand-alones, probably. There are just too many series out there that feel disjointed and easily could have been a much stronger stand-alone. I think the challenges that stand-alones present force authors to write more concise and fulfilling plots. That said, I do want to dip my toes into writing a series some day. I have a couple of ideas in that realm 👀 

One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+?

I'm definitely more of a WIP monogamist myself. I worked on Blood of Gods and nothing else for over two years. However, now that I've moved towards the more nitty-gritty phase of editing, I've found that having another project to draft balances out well. But I don't think I could do more than what I'm doing at the moment.

One Award Winner or One Bestseller?

One bestseller, though I'm not the proudest to admit that. What can I say, money is nice.

Fantasy or Sci-Fi?

Fantasy for sure. Sci-fi's great to read/watch, but I don't plan on writing it any time soon.

Character or Setting Description?

Deeeefinitely character description. Both as a reader and a writer, I'm far more interested in a character's complexities than what their environment looks like. That said, both are very important and it would be hard to write a good book without setting description.

First or Final Draft?

Uh, well, considering I've never made it to a final draft yet, I'm not sure I can give a good answer here.

Love Triangle in Everything or No Romantic Arcs?

This question feels worded like both are bad things, but I actually love both. More books starring women need to have less, or zero, focus on romance, and I hope to write something like that sometime soon.

I feel the need to defend my affection for love triangles, as until recently that wasn't the case. The love triangles we hate are the ones included for cheap drama, but there's so much more than that. One great trope is when the love triangle exists to highlight a choice between idealogies, like Peeta/Katniss/Gale in The Hunger Games. Another great version of the love triangle (and my favorite rendition of the trope) is when everyone involved is a little bit polyamorous and bisexual and in love with each other, but due to circumstance all of them ending up happily together is impossible. (My favorite examples of this are Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot from The Once and Future King and Ammar/Jehan/Rodrigo from The Lions of Al-Rassan.)

So... considering how much I've rambled on about them, I guess I'm going with love triangle in everything.

Constant Sandstorm or Rainstorm?

Rainstorm.

Tagging

@jacquesfindswritingandadvice @muddshadow @oh-no-another-idea @thepixiediaries @lockejhaven and anyone else who wants to answer.

[scerek]

You know, I've seen a lot of negative reactions to the Teen Wolf movie, and I know it was bad. It was a mess. The writing was not great. But I liked it. (And it got you horny enough to write two smut stories about Eli and Parrish, so bonus!)

What were some things you liked about the movie?

I just honestly liked seeing the characters again. Even if most of their interactions were a little off, just seeing them all together made me happy. I also really liked the new set locations. It's realistic that after so many years, they wouldn't look the same, so they'd be updated and they looked really good.

Other than the end, I actually felt like Derek's story arc was the most fully realized arc of the movie. Which I guess makes sense considering the ending lol But I feel like there was a concise story there.

And obviously, I LOVED Eli. I may not be in love with the idea of him basically being a Stiles replacement, but I'm electing to ignore that and just focusing on the positive. I love, love, love Derek being a dad to his son. It was adorable. And I guess, now Scott's gonna be his dad too?

LOL I guess I got my wish when I said I wanted Eli to be Scott and Derek's son. Be careful what you wish for 🤪

[scribblingface]

calida meme: 13, 23, 38, 41, 48, 51!

13. what are some motifs you associate with them? did you intentionally bring in those motifs, or did it happen over time?

ooh this is a tough one because so many but also hard to concisely put into words, and also I'm rapidly spiraling off course as I try to determine whether I actually understand what qualifies as a motif at all but uh. a brief list of visuals, themes, and aesthetics that I associate with calida: glimpses of blue sunny sky in a teacup, love letters, loneliness and grief as a point of connection with others, the star and strength tarot cards, faith as an act of will, yearning and pining and longing, reaching out a hand, duets, looking at the truth straight on together when it's impossible alone.

23. in what moment did they consider themselves to be “grown up”?

just answered this one!

38. do they see themselves as an important part of their party?

yes, finally! there is still the frequent voice of 'they would hardly notice if I was gone/they'd be better off without me anyway', but it's no longer an actual consciously held belief.

41. how do you keep notes for this character, if at all?

I have one terrible disorganized sprawling page in onenote where I make all my notes about the game 😂 I've also got a couple of docs for writing calida diary entries and letters and little scenes.

48. do they relate to anyone in their group? conversely, which person do they relate to the least?

every one of the other three crewies has held the position of 'person calida relates to least' at various points, haha. they're such four strongly, distinctly, unavoidably different people, which she loves, but also each of them has traits that make her feel deeply alienated from them at times. the time that she's felt most in sync with the whole team might be the rowan house score, when there was a whole crew 'so obviously we would like to help this violent haunted house' consensus. at the current moment I think she relates most to nico and least to aphra.

51. what element of their backstory are you proudest of?

all the parts that came up onscreen in arc 1!! this game has been absolutely incredible for playing a character whose backstory was an integral central part of her current story, and having those things be signifant elements in the plot, and getting the best possible surprises (like an arc antagonist with a secret intertwined past and magically and thematically intertwined present). I love that the end of arc 1 was both a deeply satisfying resolution of certain backstory elements and also a new door opening for a different angle on them, both emotionally for calida and in new metaplot discoveries.