#this post is over 3.5k words long btw

[sunbloomdew]

my olba mc timeline!

introducing my darling buttercup, Haru Nakamura :D

finally i can post this! i'm very happy to talk about a character i have been working on since may haha. does that mean they are fully cooked? let's talk about something else :) insert why do they call you babygirl meme

you don't wanna know how long was the process of making this one drawing,,,, 1/10, would do it again no question, but god did that take time. here's the sketch for comparison :]

(hopefully) short and concise description of each step below + a couple of songs that i assign to each step, from their playlist because i can and i will

ʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰʰᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃ ᵗᵘʳⁿˢ ᵒᵘᵗ ⁱ ʷʳᵒᵗᵉ ᵃ ᵇⁱᵗ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ʰᵃʰᵃʰʰᵃᵃʰ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵃˡˡ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐʸ ʰᵃⁿᵈ ⁱⁿ ᵐᵃʳʳⁱᵃᵍᵉ ᵇᵗʷ

now before i move to each step, i want to take a moment to talk about Haru's name. they are japanese american (their biological parents were both japanese people who moved to california) so i wanted them to have a japanese name.

first their birth name, Kaito. i picked this [快仁] way of writing it. 快 means "pleasant, comfortable, agreeable" and 仁 means "humanity, benevolence and kindness". i chose it as their birth name because of a few reasons:

first, some other ways of writing this name include a kanji that means "ocean, sea". it's an obvious connection to the setting of olba, as well as the character's deep connection with sunset bird, especially in their childhood.

the meanings assigned to the version i chose, describe haru at their core and during step 1 when they use this name. they are a comfortable presence whose greatest desire is to make meaningful, genuine connections with other people (fucking extravert). while they are pleasant they are a people-pleaser as well - part of their journey is to unlearn that.

it sounds very cute and they are the sweetest kid

now the name people actually know them for, the one they feel describes them the best - Haru. the kanji that i picked [春] means "spring, season of growth and renewal" and it's precisely what Haru's 'arc' is about. the meaning and value of their personal growth, understanding themselves and working with oneself instead of against.

a little tidbit about their name: there is a kanji with which it can be written that means "cherry blossom". those flowers are considered as a symbol of spring in japan, usually blooming between the end of march and beginning of may. another fun fact, haru's birthday is on the 2nd of april :]

Nakamura is a surname i chose instead of Last in the game. i thought it would be fun to headcanon that the family's surname is actually from Noelani's side (some Hawaiian last names are Japanese in origin, hence Nakamura). The kanji i picked to write it are [中村] - 中 meaning "in, inside, middle, center" and 村 meaning "village, hamlet". I think of it as a reference to sunset bird itself.

so once we put all of the ingredients together it already forms an image of a character. i've been reading a book by david day "the hobbits of tolkien" in which the author describes j.r.r. tolkien's process of creating the hobbits. it's very fascinating, the way in which he used his philologist knowleadge - digging up the word first and then tracing it's origins and the word family to slowly create the hobbits we know today. my process of creating haru was somewhat similar in methods, though definitely not the process (god no, i am nowhere near tolkien's level). i wanted to mention that because the words we use to describe the world, or in this case characters are important.

i like to think that haru's whole name means "spring in a village", with them being the embodiment of said season, connected to an undeniably summer town. a little bit like baxter, our resident autumn boy stumbled into a seaside tourist town. only in haru's case the lines are more blurry. i think of them as the manifestation of the spring/summer period, when the sun shines brightly and trees bloom but the wind is still chilly and strong.

in any case, let's move further! fairies know i could talk just about their name forever

Step 1: welcome to childhood folks! in step 1 Haru uses their birth name, Kaito, and he/him pronouns. Kaito is a lonely child who wants only one thing - to have a friend. he is too fat, too shy, too different from other kids his age, which leads to him being isolated from them. this plants the first seeds of his insecurities that will follow him into the future. being ignored and laughed at really impacts Kaito, who only wants to make friends with anybody. it makes this thought slowly grow at the back of his mind: "there is something fundamentally wrong with me." thankfully, he has the support of lizzie and their moms and the soothing sound of the waves and the warm sand at the beach, which make his social isolation feel less hurtful.

when it comes to his personality, Kaito is an open-hearted, open-minded kid who is quite shy. he is naive, terribly impatient and impulsive which can be a fatal combination. curiosity is another defining trait of his - not really with any things of an academic nature, but definitely about other people, so much he can be very nosy. despire that he is pretty good at reading social cues and figuring out people's feelings. if only he had enough foresight to actually confirm his thoughts with others - he is prone to assume things solely based off his judgement. he is empathetic and a good listener. his tendencies in people-pleasing are only starting to grow, but it will be a huge problem down the line.

a sidenote about his design: colours chosen for each step hold a meaning. the colour palette for step 1 is a triadic colour scheme with purple, teal and yellow. i chose those colours because they remind me of summer, and in step 1 kaito is at the beginning of his growth as a person. at this point in their life, they are connected with summer as a season the most, because they have yet to begin the process of figuring themselves out and understanding themselves.

Cove moving in is a turning point for Kaito. he changes his life by befriending him. it doesn NOT alleviate the insecurities and doubt still nestled in Kaito's heart. rather he views Cove as someone special for befriending him. the setting for their relationship is Nervous Fond. Kaito likes Cove immediately (as they do with most people, they are very open) but is very nervous about this whole making friends process.

Alright this all probably sounds very angsty but this internal turmoil of Kaito's is (for now) very much in the background. think of it like a box covered with sheets, dusted over and hidden in the attic. step 1 is mostly cute kid shenanigans (and some crying).

Songs:

hawaiian roller coaster ride - mark keali'i ho'omalu, kamehameha schools children's chorus; lilo and stitch original soundtrack

the right amount of dumb - kan gao; finding paradise (original game soundtrack)

i have a hole in my tooth (and my dentist is shut) - dodie

take me anywhere - kan gao; to the moon (original game soundtrack)

second child, restless child - the oh hellos

(the right amount of dumb is like their theme in step 1 because they are a bit of a dumbass <33 silly little kid)

Step 2: ahhh early teenage years. i think 12yo and older is the time when you start to realize how profoundly fucked up reality is and react appropriately! which is exactly what Haru is going through, on top of being obsessed with becoming popular. sigh.

step 2 is very rough for Haru. for one, their insecurities from childhood only grow. they see their inabilty to create a large circle of friends as a reflection of their worth. their self-esteem is at all time low, which is why they do everything they can to cover it up. kids are cruel so they cannot show any weaknesses. in order to cover up their low self-confidence they become very arrogant,they arrive at this conclusion: if they are so unlikable (false) then they only need to pretend to be someone else entirely to make people like them (bruh. teenage brain is a mystery).

and so begins their fabrication of themselves, altering parts of their appearance, personality even giving up and picking up hobbies just to appeal to the 'popular kids'. deep inside they know that this is futile. you cannot make people like you, you cannot make them respect you if they don't no matter how hard you try. but they are so starved for social interactions, that it doesn't matter at the moment. if they get to hang out with the cool kids, if people wave to them in the corridors then what does it matter that the person they are greeting is fake?

those purposeful but forced changes consume them. they are constatly playing a role around people they know but don't trust - they can only relax with their family, Cove and Derek. but even then, they aren't fun to hang out with that much. seeing as they can reveal their true thoughts only then, it makes them constantly angry (at everything, but at themselves the most probably) which affects their relationships with their friends and family.

to them it feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. they can't bear their soul to the cool kids group, because that would mean admitting that they are not a person they pretended to be - this loud, out-going, larger than life, perfect person. and in their head they think they can't reveal anything to their loved ones either - it would mean admitting defeat in making friends.

so yeah, the struggle is there y'all. despite all the harm that comes from their behaviour and their environment, they learn a couple of things too. they realize they aren't a mind reader and perhaps asking people about their problems is better than assuming you know what is wrong, even if you are like 99% sure you know. doesn't mean they won't ask in the most blunt, tactless way possible tho. their shyness as if evaporates completely - you're not gonna make it far in middle school being shy. funnily enough, they are a massive people-pleaser. you'd think that this bold, boisterous teen star would be far from it, but every action Haru performs in their school circle is for the approval of others. if there are any mild upsides to their state is that they can fulfill their innate need of connecting with other people. it's not deep or meaningful in most cases but what can you do.

as you probably noticed, the main colour of this step is green. but why? green is such a nice colour, with so many positive meanings... sike! i mean yeah it is, but you know what else green symbolises? greed and envy. i used green for this step to highlight haru's desire of becoming popular not as a genuine dream, not even as a way to connect with others but because of the immense jealousy they felt. of other people who got to have friends that liked them for who they are. of elizabeth especially, who never seemed to struggle with making people like her. in this stage of their life, green is definitely a negative colour for them.

the comfort level in step 2 is Direct Fond for both Cove and Derek. no matter which route i'm deciding on romantically, haru does not have a crush on anyone in step 2, or at least doesn't allow themselves to have.

Songs:

freaks - surf curse

kawaki wo ameku [カワキヲアメク] - minami [美波]

carnivore - starset

stand out fit in - one ok rock

remember my name - mitski

(i especially like carnivore for this step because haru starts avoiding eating meat, cause they don't like the taste that much. the choice of this song is a bit of an inside joke for me, also the lyrics fit very well)

Step 3: we enter era of healing! i'd say in step 3 haru is at a solid 3/4 way to doing better internally. step 2 was their lowest, but now they are beginning to bloom. but growing older doesn't only bring knowleadge and growth, it also brings a new lot of issues to deal with.

Haru has been confronted about their behaviour. the impact it had on others and on themselves (there was a lot of crying and broken confessions, not a good time). as they reached their limit, they finally decided to speak their feelings and accept help from their loved ones.

now, it's hard to simply get rid of one's insecurities, especially those that seemed to be reinforced by the outside world for a long time. they use a strategy as old as time to deal with (not cover up anymore) their low self-esteem - fake it till you make it. some of their arrogance stays with them, as a blanket of security in a way, but they are determined to be confident in themselves.

their growth starts with a somewhat superficial thing but one that they always cared about: their clothes. they were always interested in clothing and fashion but only in step 3 they move a bit further with that interest and begin to make clothes on their own. it's an important passion to them, not only being very therapeutic but also allowing them to express their true self, both in terms of their personality as well as gender.

a major shift in their perception of their relationships with others was caused by realizing, that gaining popularity was not going to make them feel fulfilled. they had always desired deep, meaningful relationships, and while being recognized at school was nice, it wasn't really what they were looking for. this in turn make them rethink their whole "pretending to be someone you're not" business and with their loved ones assistance they figured out that... it simply wasn't worth it.

and because haru is the most impulsive person on this side of the globe, they did not ease themselves into this realization but again forced themselves to abandon their old ways in favor of being painfully true to themselves. and then everybody smacked their foreheads.

haru is a lot kinder to themselves now, courtesy of cove and others, but they still tend to ignore themselves in favor of somebody else. their shyness returned, and they no longer try to force themselves into acting more out there than they are. since the let down their walls, they speak their mind without thinking and are prone into agreeing to things immediately, often finding themselves in uncomfortable or annoying situations.

right now their most pressing struggle is dealing with becoming an adult. they feel as if they had just got peace and stability in their life and yet their friends are leaving or staying, getting jobs, time is slipping through their fingers like sand and everything is different. haru themselves feels very lost and overwhelmed by the future, so for now they latch onto people, their friends, sister and moms and try to spend as much time with them as possible, drowning the sound of their own fear in their laughter. on top of that there is a new guy in sunset bird, who seems to have a bit similar internal struggles to them, and haru feels like they could make a connection for life. i wonder how that will go :]

step 3 colours! they wear a lot of different colours because their style is mostly inspired by the 80s, plus they like to go crazy with the clothes they make. but colours that appear the most are definitely pink and yellow, plus a little bit of green. green appears in smaller amounts and in shades closer to yellow to express it's different nature than the green in step 2. this time it represents growth, freshness and hope.

now yellow is a very important colour that i consider haru's main colour. they are simply inseparable in my head. it was completely gone from their colour palette in step 2, and in step 1 it had more of a golden shade, one reminiscent of summer, but in step 3 it brings forth thoughts of spring more. it is purposeful, as Haru is finally growing into the person they want to be. yellow's positive meanings are among others optimism, happiness, creativity and enthusiasm. but it can also be associated with fear and cowardice and that is definitely something that fits haru in this step as well.

pink is prevalent in this specific outfit, but like i said, the clothes they wear in this step are pretty colourful. still, it holds meaning, seeing as it's also visible in their step 4 clothes. pink is invincibly linked with romance and romantic feelings - something haru allows themselves to open up to in step 3. like most things about them, if they have a crush on somebody their infatuation comes fast and strong, seemingly out of nowhere. but other than romance, pink is a colour of youth and playfulness.

after dealing with all that teen angst, they are very playful. combined with the dread of the future and genuine excitement they finally feel, they are a sweet, sociable person. the comfort level is Relaxed Fond, unless they have a crush on either Cove or Baxter, then it's Nervous Crush.

Songs:

permanence - bears in trees

wishing well - the oh hellos

infinite - lyn lapid

summer depression - girl in red

what if it doesn't end well - chloe moriondo

(i didn't put this song here despite it being the first one on haru's playlist, but teenage dream by katy perry is such a step 3 haru song)

Step 4: sweet woes of adulthood! Haru has grown and grown up but of course, life is a continuous string of things happening and us having to deal with them. some things stayed the same, for example their big ego. from aiming to cover up their low confidence, to actually gaining a healthy amount of it, like in most things they do, they went overboard. and while some of it is still a little bit of a defense mechanism, they are also completely insufferable and a beast of self-esteem. you win some you lose some.

they grew into the person they were always meant to be: free spirited, open, empathetic and creative. even so, they still retain their oh so recognizable traits. their curious, almost nosy demeanor, impatient nature and people-pleasing ways. they are still reckless though not quite as impatient, they learned to be a bit more chill.

haru learned to manage their intense nature. especially when it comes to meeting new people, they realize and respect the fact that not everybody will be eager to form a deeper bond, as much as it confuses them sometimes. they have always been ride or die type of person, but growing up has mellowed them out a bit.

the most growth happened with their way of managing their relationships as well as their perception of themselves. they are a lot more mature and as such manage to maintain their relationships. even if they still sometimes assume other people's thoughts or take up too much upon themselves, they see what they have accomplished and are very proud of themselves.

their struggles now involve the usual perils of adulthood, but mostly keeping up with their friends and making sure everything is alright. other than that though, they eagerly travel and go out of their way to meet even more new people - they do need someone to anchor them, or they will get carried away and eventually step on somebody's toes (or fail to return from another state on a scheduled date).

speaking of their adult relations, baxter leaving was a huge blow to them. like traumatic event rank S type of thing. when they meet again it's a storm lol

when it comes to Haru's other dreams and goals, i picture them with a business that makes custom clothes, like handmade ones. their side job would be helping out cove with surfing lessons and his business. they like to work with other people and are a fairly good leader, but they dislike doing the simple tasks because they are so boring.

last design notes! so there is yellow and pink, a bit of blue and white, at least in this outfit. yellow, pink and white are their characteristic colours, but green finds it's place here too sometimes (to drive home the spring theme more).

like i mentioned, haru's colour is yellow. it's the colour of sunshine, buttercups, the sand and some birds and fish, and most importantly it's the colour i associate with spring (along with green). haru is a character that represents the late spring, teeming with life and joy, intense in growth and weather, downpours or clear skies alike.

i don't think there is much more to say about the colours in this step, as in my opinion yellow is most significant. pink also connects with haru's acceptance of femininity and figuring out exactly how much they associate with it. and blue is the colour of the sky :)

in step 3 they are at Direct Fond or Crush. I like their energy in relationships with other people :]

Songs:

hey blondie - dominic fike; barbie the album

everybody loves me - onerepublic

never gonna not dance again - p!nk

sick of losing soulmates - dodie

rebel rebel - david bowie

dancing with myself - billy idol

(hey blondie is such a bop holy shit you guys- also very much a haru song <3)

wow i can't believe i actually wrote this. i am very particular about my characters so now that i have this sort of "introduction" for haru posted, i can post other things about them! don't ask me how that works, it has to be chronological

if you've read this thank you very, very much <3 and if you didn't, fair i feel you lol. feel free to ask about them if your heart desires :]

toodles~

[chichayuen]

I'll be there, Always.

₊˚︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿˚₊

🍰PAIRING: [LADS] Caleb x fem!reader word count: 3.5k 🍓GENRE: Slow-burn, Angst, Hurt/Comfort 🍎SYNOPSIS: A slow-burn of childhood friendship, unspoken longing, and bittersweet of growing up. 🎀TAGS: Unspoken feelings, frustration over mixed signals, unspoken insecurities, drifting away, mutual but unconfessed feelings 💌A/N: I used the 3rd perspective just to make the story more emotionally convincing. This is mainly focused on Y/N... She/her pronouns too! Sorry :( I decided to post this first part since I have already proofread it. Grammars still suck though :( AND CALEB might be OOC, but that's how I imagine him in a situationship haha FIRST FANFIC BTW!! LET'S GOOOOO ALSO!! Listen to Niki's version of "You'll be in my heart" (in loop) as you read this first part. This story was inspired by it!

₊˚︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿˚₊

The rain kept pouring, hitting against all the windows they had in their home. The rain’s patter was as soft as a wish fading before it was spoken. What wishes could be made though? They’re already living a life filled with contentment. Y/N never wishes to change something. She already has a home, a meal to eat every day, an old woman to look after her… and better, Caleb. It wasn’t that long enough to have him for herself. In some ways, he was always there- like an overworked, lone officer on duty, protecting her as if she were his last safe place.

Soon enough, a deep, rolling growl rumbled from outside, making her whimper softly in fear. There was no way that she could be facing the thunder- she was still just a little girl... Who would stand up bravely before the wrath of the gods?

Those sounds made it seem as if the gods hated her, causing her tears to fall out of her eyes. “Come on, N/n,” Caleb looked at her with worried brows and a small smile. His patience never wavered when it came to her. “You have to face it again.” He turned away slightly, worry flickering in his eyes as he glanced toward the door. He could hear his friends being loud outside on the street, caught in the rain.

Y/N felt her soft cotton sweater tugged by the hem of her sleeve. “I’m here this time, okay? If you want to come with me and play outside, you have to face the thunder,” he encouraged her while focusing back on her, giving her another slightest tug.  “Trust me pip, we may be small… but we are here to conquer the world! Nothing can stop us, remember?”

She was still pouring tears, sobbing as her mouth quivered, letting out soft gasps that should have been words meant for him instead. She could only utter, “The thunder can stop me, Caby… I-I’m still scared.”

Caleb winced internally in response. He hadn’t meant to accidentally trap her in the attic weeks ago while he was out there protecting her… or rather, forgetting to let her out while having his own adventure with his supposed “bullies”. His hands reached out to her chubby and soft reddened cheeks, with traces of tears on them.  “You were brave, Pipsqueak. Even if I found you curled up in the corner, you managed to protect yourself without me.” Caleb then wiped her tears. “You’ll be okay. Caleb trusts you more than himself.”

Then, Y/N embraced him slowly, hooking her arms firmly from below and over his shoulders, pulling him in as if he might disappear. Caleb is slightly taken aback, yet his gaze softens from familiarity. He buried his face into her hair, his hands steady there as well, vowing to the universe to protect her. That’s all he needed to prove his enduring love for her.

From that embrace, he found himself with a determined resolve. He slowly leaned back, his hands slipping to her shoulders as hers fell limply to her sides. “Listen, Pip,” He grinned, showing his missing tooth. “You don’t have to force yourself out there… If you need me beside you, I’ll guarantee to keep you safe.” Caleb took a step back and lifted his hand for her. “But if my pipsqueak needs me now and forever, then… the mighty Caleb chooses to be with her.”  When Y/N placed her palms on top of his, he continued, “After all, I promised to be there for her.”

“And… I won’t go outside this time, well—for now. You don’t want me getting sick from the rain, right?” He said with a chuckle, pulling Y/N alongside him as they went further back into the house, ditching his friends who were still playing outside in the rain.

✿　.　˚　. 　 ˚　✿.

The rain had long passed, but Caleb never did. Even after all these years, he was still her protector, her best friend— the same boy who once held her close during thunderstorms, whose hands wiped away her tears, and whose presence made the world feel a little less frightening. Yet, somewhere along the way, he became more aware—more cautious as soon as it was about Y/N. It didn’t feel right to her at least, he was never the type of guy who would isolate himself. Even if he was, she couldn’t figure out the reasons why he would.

In the classroom, his voice blended with the buzz of laughter and casual banter. His placement was 2 columns apart, with two chairs sharing one table at every column for seating arrangement. Y/N glanced at his desk, surrounded by a familiar crowd, who were the same people who sought him out for jokes, favors, and companionship— in short, he was quite well-known.

Y/N sat on her chair, her eyes drawn to him as if he were the only light in the building. He shines so brightly like the sun, making his presence impossible to ignore. It was the same light he carried as a boy, the one that had never dimmed, no matter how much he grew.

She watched the way he leaned against his desk, crossing his arms, flashing a grin that pulled at the corners of her memory. There he was—the boy who once smiled through missing teeth. Funny, isn’t it? Back then, he would grin without a hint of shame, gaps and all, while never caring what anyone thought.

She sighed, propping her cheek against her palm, her eyes narrowing with a deep, aching sense of yearning. How could he be so painfully close, yet so distant when he was with others?

Then, Y/N saw the way he casually brushed his hair back— a small, thoughtless gesture that somehow made her heart tighten. She was used to seeing him loud and carefree with everyone, brimming with confidence, especially with her. But watching him grow shy over something she couldn’t even hear from afar made her feel as though she was missing out on a part of him.

Y/N tucked her hands beneath her desk, clenching them slightly as if she could hold on to the version of him she once knew… the boy who shielded her from everything. But now, whenever his eyes met hers, they were filled with different kinds of worrying ones she couldn’t quite understand. How was it any different from the way he looked at her when they bantered at home? Why did it suddenly feel more hesitant? Was she… someone to be ashamed of?

But she shook the thoughts away with a sigh, all conflicted again. She knew better than to assume so quickly.

“Y/N,”

Zayne’s voice cut through her thoughts, pulling her back to the earth. Thank God for making him her seatmate. Zayne was also her childhood best friend, having to grow up with her and Caleb. Although he appeared later in their lives, he fit in effortlessly. He brought his wit, aloof demeanor, and sharp-minded seriousness into their little trio.

Y/N turned her head toward him, raising a brow in confusion as to why he called her name. “I’m already sensing something,” Zayne muttered with a sigh. “Something you need to address.”

And she knew exactly what he meant.

Zayne had always seen through her; he knew about her longing for Caleb. He had heard it all: the times she missed him, the way she gushed about how cute he looked whenever he bragged about her, and how she wished they could go back—back to the days when they were just kids. Back when Caleb’s attention felt different... much warmer like he was shielding her from the entire world’s coldness.

But now, even when Caleb offered her extra care, it no longer had the same spark. He was still there, but he no longer held her like she was his only princess.

He simply stared at her for a moment before adjusting his glasses. “I heard he’s planning to become a pilot,” he said casually, but the weight of his words hung between them. It was a reminder of the inevitable that soon enough, they would separate and go their own ways.

Y/N always hated the thought of it. She never wanted this to end, never wanted him to leave.

She slowly lifted her head once again, unable to resist stealing another glance at Caleb. And by chance, their eyes met.

For a fleeting moment, her breath caught in her throat. She expected him to smile—to flash her that familiar, easy grin he always saved just for her. The one that felt like home. But this time, he didn’t.

Instead, his gaze faltered, dropping down to his desk. His brows furrowed in some sort of regret while his fingers absently traced the edge of his notebook as if he were suddenly too restless to meet her eyes. The friends chattering near him faded into background noise, yet he paid them little attention.

That stung more than it should have been.

Because in that brief exchange, she felt him slipping away, and she didn’t know how to hold on.

Will he still protect her like he always wanted to?

Y/N turned back to Zayne, her eyes clouded with disappointment and a deep sense of failure. “Zayne…” she murmured, her voice trembling slightly, thick with hurt and longing.

He met her gaze with his expression softening. Without a word, he gave her a reassuring nod as his hand gently patted her head. His small gesture was meant to ease the ache he knew too well.

“We still have time,” he whispered softly. But even if he said it, neither of them was sure if they believed it.

✿　.　˚　. 　 ˚　✿.

During lunch, Caleb casually made his way to Zayne and Y/N. After all, they were his original friends. He grew up with them, so it was normal to join them from time to time despite being popular. The surroundings were lively and bustling, filled with laughter and cheerful conversations.

Caleb noticed that one stood out, which was Y/N’s downcast look.

She sat there, unusually quiet, with her eyes staring absently at her lunch.

“So,” Zayne began calmly, his gaze cutting towards Caleb with subtle curiosity.

Y/N, still seated beside Zayne, stiffened slightly when Caleb slid into the empty chair in front of them. She perked up the moment she caught Zayne’s voice and attention—it was her cue. He was lowkey eager to hear her continue the conversation.

Taking the chance, she said, “I almost forgot,” with a soft chuckle, though her voice held a faint strain. She placed her lunch aside, reaching into her bag for her notebook.

Once the notebook was in her hands, she turned to Caleb as her eyes turned slightly hopeful. “Caby, I need some small lectures in this… particular—” she flipped the pages open, revealing a mix of notes from other subjects. “…lesson,” she then finished softly.

Caleb’s curiosity was piqued as he glanced at her with his brow slightly furrowed. Then, Y/N slid her notebook close to him, her fingers pointing at a familiar physics lesson.

“That one? Sure, when we get home,” he replied with a casual shrug, though his face was casual, nothing to offend or doubt her thoughts of him.

Y/N nodded subtly in response, a small smile tugging her lips. “I still remember when you taught me the different units of measurement.” her voice mixed with fondness and her eyes softened with nostalgia as she reminisced about the times he tutored her in middle school, particularly about numbers.

“Yeah, I remember that clearly, Pip,” he replied softly. At first, she thought she had it… until she noticed his little amusement in his tone and reaction.

He shifted his focus back to the pages she had shown him. His eyes skimmed the notes with a distant air, a chance for him to be detached from the moment.

Her chest tightened at his lack of response. She couldn’t help but look at him with her eyes drooping slightly, filled with disappointment. Usually, he would light up with the brightest grin, like a dog receiving its favorite treat. He would also carry on with their memories, eagerly describing his side of the story—or adding little details about their shared adventures.

But this time, he didn’t.

He just didn’t.

✿　.　˚　. 　 ˚　✿.

Caleb waited at the gates, leaning against the wall with his eyes fixed on the pavement. His friends had already left, and the lingering silence was beginning to weigh on him. Going home together was a part of their routine… familiar comfort he quietly counted on.

When Zayne and Y/N finally emerged from the main entrance, his posture straightened slightly as the faint flicker of energy returned to his eyes.

But when they drew closer, he didn’t greet them with his usual joyous smile. Instead, he simply watched them approach, his expression calm but distant.

Caleb’s fingers tightened around the strap on his shoulder, while his other hand hung loosely by his side.

The three of them eventually stepped through the gate and turned to face one another.

“See ya,” He casually murmured, raising his hand slightly in farewell to Zayne. The latter simply nodded in return, his expression stoic as ever.

When his eyes shifted to Y/N, Caleb caught the glance they exchanged. The way Zayne’s gaze lingered on her face made him forget to breathe, a dull ache of bitterness pooling inside him. There was no possessiveness in it.

He wasn’t jealous… just envious. Though he wasn’t sure if there was any much of a difference.

Zayne nodded at Y/N once more, and she offered him a soft smile in return. With a casual gesture, he patted her head, his expression giving no effort.

“Cheer up,” Zayne muttered flatly, his tone lacking any real conviction.

She chuckled softly, her eyes brimming with faint warmth before she gently pushed his hand away. “Yeah, yeah…” she teased lightly, though she couldn’t help but find it amusing. His reassurance always meant something, even with a face that didn’t look the slightest bit convincing.

✿　.　˚　. 　 ˚　✿.

Y/N kept walking, but her thoughts grew heavier with every step. Doubt and questions clouded her mind, blurring the edges of her resolve. Caleb, however, lags slightly behind, breaking the familiar rhythm of walking side by side. The distance between them, though small, felt unbearably vast.

She couldn’t take it anymore, at least… not without her heart feeling like it might cave in. But still, she kept her head low, unwilling to meet his eyes or face the heavy, humid air that lingered between them.

Did Caleb even realize how much his avoidance weighed on her chest? Why was it painfully quiet now as they walked together?

And when, exactly, had it become this way?

As she walked, Y/N caught a glimpse from the corner of her eye, his hand subtly lifting beside her wrist. It might seem odd and almost out of place for a fleeting moment. Yet, she recognized it for what it was—a fragile attempt to reach out and a quiet plea for her to notice him.

But just as quickly, his hand retreated, and she heard him wince from behind. The faint sound confirmed that she wasn’t imagining or hallucinating it. Without a second thought, she halted, her sudden stop causing Caleb to stiffen in surprise. He came to an abrupt pause, and his eyes snapping up to meet hers.

When their eyes finally locked, his eyes were wide and startled. But hers were weighed down with sadness, worry, confusion, and that small unmistakable trace of longing.

Caleb froze, his breath catching. She had never looked at him that way before. But if he could see into her heart, he’d know that was exactly how he looked at her too.

His brows slowly knit in concern, mirroring the sorrow in her eyes. Even his chest was tightened with yearning, but he forced himself to bury it. Caleb tried to mask it with indifference, but it was painfully too obvious. No matter how he tried,

He couldn’t hide the way he ached for her, too.

He even tried to find reasons why he couldn’t fight the inevitable for her. When he once could so easily as a child where he would stand tall without fear, protecting her from anything with unwavering confidence. But now, he felt so small and unsure, afraid that if he reached for her, he might end up losing her completely in the process.

Y/N sniffled softly and stepped closer, reaching for his calloused hands with both of hers, wrapping around the hand that had longed to reach hers earlier. Their eyes locked, and for a fleeting moment, it was enough. Caleb never realized his avoidance would only deepen their longing and it would make it harder to ignore. But he knew he was still strong enough to hold back, convincing himself that Y/N no longer needed him the way she once did as a child.

With a shaking breath, she slowly lifted his hand to her temple, her brows knitting tighter with the weight of everything she couldn’t say to him. She couldn’t speak now—instead, this gesture was her silent plea, a reminder that she still needed him just as much as before.

That simple action alone made his chest tighten with regret, and before he knew it… he was pulling her in—gently, but with aching desperation. His arms wrapped around her, holding her as if he could shield her from everything. He buried his face into her hair, his breath shuddering as vulnerability clung to him and the fear of loneliness engulfed the both of them.

“Don’t look at me like that, Pipsqueak…” his voice fractured with emotion, barely above a whisper. His arms tightened around her, with him trying to keep her from slipping away.

The ache of unspoken feelings hung between them, it was the kind of longing that seeped into their bones… a familiar pain of loving someone so deeply, yet being too afraid to admit it.

They both knew that they should risk it. They absolutely wanted to. But why does he hold back? He was confident—confident enough to make her his. Yet questions linger within him..

If only he knew what held him back.

₊˚︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿˚₊

1/3 P2 [SOON trust..] plspls tell me how did I do

[zinzinina]

okay I'm not sure I'd you're still doing the uh. thing where you write a scene from a different pov but if you are and have time/interest, would you feel like doing poe pov with that part in directions where he asks how many other guys she's been with? I love love love that fic so much btw and I'm gonna go through your masterlist when I get off work <3

Hello! ✨ A little confession: some of these have been sitting in my inbox for months. I secretly didn't plan on fulfilling this request because it meant that I'd need to go re-read Directions, and I very rarely read my own writing again once it's been posted. But I was in the mood for something fun and easy, and then I actually had a great time revisiting this story! So thank you so so much @buckyisdisabled, @lostinwonderland314, @mandaloriandin and sweet Yearning Human anon for asking for this and for your lovely messages. I really hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it x

Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Rating: Explicit 18+

Warnings: PIV, creampie, oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, squirting, feelings, implied cum eating, overstimulation, masturbation, friends to lovers

This is reworking of a scene from this fic, told from Poe’s POV.

from a certain point of view ask game ✨

———

———

Poe sucks his slick fingers into his mouth, and her taste hits his head like spice; sharp and sweet.

She pants up at him from his pillow (his pillow) her eyes wide as a nervous animal’s, her hands curled into fists. It takes everything he has not to blow his load in his pants right then and there.

He feels a little drunk. He needs to course-correct.

Drastically.

He’d meant it when he told her he thought this would be fun. Because everything is, with her. He thought she’d be giving him shit the whole time. He’d expected her to be unimpressed with him in the way only she ever is; doing what she does best and keeping his feet nailed to solid ground even while his head did tailspins around the sound of her laughing at him. 

But she’s not laughing at him. The way she’s looking up at him…

This, right here, is extremely fucking serious for her.

Maybe he should’ve tried to make this nicer. Maybe he should’ve lit candles.

For reasons that are not entirely clear, he catches himself remembering a particularly fucked up day from several months back. His comms and tracking had both shorted out after a hit in the middle of an above-planet dogfight with no visual, and for about two hours, the Resistance network listed him PKIA. 

When he’d eventually landed back in the hanger, it was chaotic with smoking, twisted astromech parts. Unbeknownst to him, Black One was a ghost ship. 

Mechanics and pilots alike had turned and gaped in silent shock as he’d climbed out of his cockpit, and he’d only had a moment to wonder whether there was something growing out of the top of his head before he’d been knocked off his feet by a sobbing projectile stinking of sweat and smoke in an oil-stained flightsuit.

She’d only stopped crying after socking him in the chest, her voice hoarse as she told him how much of an idiot he was for not switching over to his backup signal.

He’d never wanted to see that look on her face ever again, and if he hadn’t pushed her into verbalising the source of her terror here, he’d be too turned off to go any further. He doesn’t go in for that shit; he wants his partners relaxed and comfortable and enthusiastically willing.

But it’s knowing what she’s actually worrying about—stuck in her head as always, thinking about everyone else; what he thinks of her, rather than focusing on how she feels—that makes him determined to stick with her, as long as she says. 

He’s staggered by the amount of trust she’s putting in him. Shit, he doesn’t know whether it makes his heart ache more, or his dick. Like she has anything to be nervous about. Like she isn’t the prettiest fucking girl he knows. Like making her smile isn’t the single greatest source of pride he gets to hold over himself. 

Doesn’t she know? Can’t she already fucking tell? He’d worship the ground she walks on if he knew she wouldn’t laugh herself sick at him if he tried. 

It would be funny, if it weren’t so painful. That for all of her quick, sharp perception, she’d miss this, so entirely.

“Perfect. You’re perfect,” he says softly, and he can see how little she believes him. “Told you. Nothing wrong with you. I wanna try something,” he continues, before she can say anything to piss him off. He can handle her putting shit on him. He isn’t letting her do it to herself. “You’ll like it, I promise. And if you don’t just tell me and we’ll stop. Okay?”

“Okay,” she says, nodding, her eyes still huge. A sudden throb of affection makes his head feel like it’s filled with tibanna gas. 

“I’m gonna take your pants off,” he tells her, grasping each of her ankles to do exactly this.

She lifts her ass toward him as he wriggles her underwear and pants over her legs, giving him a brief glimpse of the most beautiful view he’s ever seen in his life.

His brain’s still catching up when he sees the furtive way her eyes keep flicking down toward where it feels like his dick’s trying to bust through his fly.

“Don’t you want…?” 

“It’s not about me,” he cuts her off. And if you touch me right now I won’t make it, and I’ll ruin my reputation, and kill any chance of living any of this shit down with you ever again, he decides not to add.

He bends, spreading her legs with both hands. Her clit’s so swollen her labia are parted around it, the soft skin inside her thighs smeared with her first orgasm. 

Her first orgasm—the first one another person’s given her, anyway—and it’s his.

And, oh, it had been so easy.

His ego is not immune to this.

But, nice as it is, it doesn’t quite feel like a boost in the traditional sense. It feels something more like a twinge, hard and new, right under his ribcage. Like vindication, maybe, or—and he feels like a fucking moron for even thinking it—fate.

He bows from the waist and nudges into her with his nose, his tongue laving a stripe up the entire length of her pussy. 

Her skin tastes like soap. Somewhere in the dimmest corners of his head he’s annoyed at this; imagines her scouring every inch of herself raw in the showers before coming to him, filled with nerves and doubt under the spray. He presses the muscle of his tongue into her opening in search of more of the her he’d found on his fingers.

The sound she makes zips lightning-hot straight to his guts. 

His eyes roll briefly closed, and he sinks down onto his elbows, the twisted line of the sheets digging into his skin under his weight.

She shifts her thighs together, her fingers twitching at her side. He steals a glance up and finds her watching him, her lips parted, her eyes too-bright.

“Open your legs,” he encourages, his lips barely lifting from her skin. She sinks her teeth into her lip as she lets her knees fall flat to the bed. 

She’s spread out open in front of him, and he dips his head to continue. 

She flinches and tenses and exhales in turn, reacting to every touch of his mouth as though speaking aloud. It makes him feel violently impatient, and so he moves slower, trying to temper himself. 

He wants to be inside her. 

He wants to swallow her, and to be swallowed by her. Fuck, he’s never wanted anything more in his life.

He’s pretty sure he’s leaking precum into his pants; all the blood having long vacated his brain to swell bruise-achingly hard in his cock. He tries to stay focused, but the reality is that Poe’s thoughts ran away from him the second she set foot in his room. The challenge now is to just try not to do something stupid.

Something stupider than fucking his best friend.

She hisses, tossing her head back, her legs twitching so hard his tongue nearly loses its place against the hot nub of her clit. 

He slides both hands beneath her thighs to lift her hips to his face in an attempt to keep her still, barely managing to tamp down the urge to rut helplessly against the mattress in search of relief.

The smell of her, the taste, fills his senses. But it’s still not enough. He wants to bring her to insensibility; to work that softness into the bed, glutting himself until her whimpers turn to those of overstimulation.

He’d never really considered himself a possessive person, but as she quietly sucks in a sharp, shallow breath, he realises he wants that sound all to himself.

He pulls it out of her with his tongue again, and again, his attention unwavering.

He wants her thinking of this, of him, from now on. Every single time she comes, alone or otherwise. He wants her to dream about him inside her; tongue, fingers, cock, he doesn’t give a fuck. At briefings. At meals. Waiting around bored for launch clearance in her fighter, standing alone in the showers, when someone else presses their hands to her skin, and lifts her chin to meet her lips (and fuck, that hurts to think about, like hitting realspace at-speed, hard enough to grind his bones together). 

She comes with a pained-sounding cry, her pubic bone bumping into his nose and pushing his face away. He drags himself up and finds her reaching her hands out as though to stop him. 

“You okay?” he manages.

“Poe, I want…please…”

“What, baby? Talk to me.” He leans up, bracing himself over her. Maybe she’s changed her mind. Maybe she’s had enough and she’s going to tell him to stop, to give her back her pants, to never mention any of this again.

It’s still more than he’d ever imagined he’d get.

Her eyes stay on his and she blinks slowly at him, as though trying to remember who he is. His heart thunks hollowly in his chest, and he waits.

“Fuck me.”

He pauses. It wasn’t what he’d expected her to say. His already-painful cock jumps in his pants at the demand. “You need a break first?”

She answers by trying to drag him down toward her, her hips lifting to press against him, ankles hooked around the backs of his legs. 

He doesn’t wait to be told twice. He shifts his weight, kicking his pants down, settling himself between her legs. 

She ducks her chin and kisses his shoulder.

His head swims. He barely feels the touch of her lips through the material of his shirt, but it hardly matters. The gesture is so small, so careful, so quick, as though she couldn’t help herself.

As though it’s something she’s thought of before.

Which is when it hits him: the one thing he’s never seriously let himself entertain. Does he…actually have a chance? 

Without undue vanity, Poe knows that his looks are the one area, at least, that he can afford not to worry about. He’s not an idiot. He knows exactly how people respond when he flashes his teeth at them, or holds their eyes with his own for a protracted moment from beneath a quirked eyebrow. 

But never her. She’s somehow always been frustratingly, crushingly immune to every single weapon in his arsenal. It had been a source of ire in the early days, while he was still learning the colour of her voice, and the shape of her mind. 

The sadder, slower ache of acceptance had come later; gathering like thunderheads, lingering long.

She wasn’t for him. She didn’t want to be. Letting himself pretend otherwise would have only ever been an exercise in masochism. 

Despite all of this, Poe’s still human. And, as he had come to realise, knowing something intellectually is very different to knowing it physically.

Whenever she smiles at him, and bumps into him, and rolls her eyes at him. Whenever he’s inside somebody else, tasting the sweat on their skin, or stretched out around their pleasure. Whenever he jerks his cock alone in his bunk late at night, ashamed and furious at himself for such a disgraceful breach of their friendship, for the things he’s imagined.

Everything he’s ever done with anybody else; every filthy, beautiful fucking thing, he’d turn himself inside out and crawl over hot coals to do again with her, to her, for her, if she wanted.

And now, here she is.

He might not ever get another shot at this.

He needs to make it count.

“How many other guys’ve you been with?” he says, his voice coming out rough. She looks mortified, but he doesn’t care. “How many?”

“S-six,” she says. 

He nods. He’d already known about Kip and Terrett, and he’d had his suspicions about Rau and Valen. He’s a little disappointed at the knowledge that Rau had let her down with all the others; he wouldn’t have expected it. 

“Then that’s six other times we gotta make up for,” he says, distractedly. 

He presses forward, and the first millimetre he sinks inside her already has him panicking. 

She immediately feels far too hot and close, but the hardest part, the part threatening to undo everything, is the way she’s looking up at him, as though silently pleading with him, and Gods, how she doesn’t need to.

“Oh, sh...shit. You good? I’m good. That’s…ungh, so fucking good.” He’s aware he’s making no sense, but that’s the only thing left in his head, probably the only thing he’ll ever know again: good, good, good.

Her fingers are clenched tight around his forearm, and he thinks she might be holding her breath, but then she lets it go, and the wet bloom of her cunt swallows him fractionally deeper.

“You’re doing so good baby, you’re taking me so well, you feel perfect,” he groans, hoping he doesn’t sound as wrecked as he feels, his guts on fire with need.

She squirms under him, and fuck, she feels incredible. After coming twice he can feel the evidence of how wet she is, the smooth glide of her body gripping close around him, giving way slowly. 

It’s suddenly too fucking hot in his room. He can feel his hair sticking to the back of his neck and around his ears, and it’s vaguely annoying, but he couldn’t give a shit. 

Her warm breath meets his chin, and he follows the line of her attention down the length of his own body, to the place where his hips are flush against hers. Between her parted legs he can see his cock half-sunk inside her, and his face presses to her damp, salty skin as he murmurs to her, pressing forward, enveloped entirely by her.

He has no idea what he’s saying. It just feels important for her to know. 

Whatever it is, he never gets the chance to find out.

Because then she’s kissing him, and her mouth is on his and her lips are parting and they’re soft and her teeth are catching at the dry ege of his lower lip and her breath is hot and it’s hers and it’s in his mouth and it’s in his lungs and it’s oxygenating his fucking blood and pumping through his heart and his brain and searing through every single part of him until she’s all that’s left.

He’s pretty sure he’s dying.

“Holy fuck,” he thinks he’s trying to say, and he feels her smiling, gently biting into his lip, keeping him quiet. 

She rolls her hips up against his, pushing herself off the bed. He can feel himself rapidly losing control as she throws her head back, her brows drawn, teeth cutting into her own lip.

“Baby, wait, wait a sec,” he pants.

“What’s wrong?” she gasps, and of course she doesn’t listen; she never fucking listens to him, rocking up toward him, making him see stars. 

“Just…fuck, hang on.” Cold showers, he thinks, grimly. Freezing cold showers, and depressurised-cockpit earaches. Nine hour-long diplomatic debriefs. The rancid-smelling mucus trail Klaud leaves behind everywhere he goes.

“Is this…not good?” she says, low and weak. “Poe?”

His eyes nearly roll back in his head as she whispers his name, and the sound jolts through him—her voice, the one he knows so well—like this, with him.

Whatever pitiful electricity’s still left in the meat of his brain fizzles out. “Oh shit, say my name again,” he begs, not even waiting for her to do so. 

He’s already moving, needing to feel the walls of her cunt stroking and sucking at his cock. “D’you know how many times I’ve thought about this? About being inside you like this? And I never, ever thought you’d wanna…” 

He shouldn’t be saying this. He’s gotta be real fucking careful, if he doesn’t want to accidentally tell her every shameful daydream he’s ever had about her and disintegrate what’s left of their friendship into dust. 

“You’re fucking perfect,” he tells her instead. “Your pussy is perfect.” 

She recoils, and it’s equal parts adorable and infuriating that even now she’d be embarrassed to hear him say this.

He almost laughs. “Why’s that make you shy? You don’t like me talking about your pussy? You wanna know how good you taste, baby? You’re sweet, so sweet and tight and—” and fuck, he can still taste her on his lips, and he watches her carefully, finding the place that makes her fall boneless and focusing there, right there, until the viselike grip on his arms weakens and she’s coming again.

Her voice breaks, but he doesn’t slow. She can take it. 

He pushes her hips down, fucking her into the mattress, skin clapping on skin. She’s yanking at his hair hard enough to hurt, but he relishes the pain because it keeps his vision clear; exactly where he wants to be. 

Her orgasm tumbles into another, and he seizes her knees, lifting her toward him as he picks up his pace. She moans, belatedly trying to cover the sound with her hand, and it’s the sweetest music he’s ever heard. He is never, ever going to be able to get that sound out of his head again.

“Hey, hey. Let me hear that,” he says, leaning closer, dragging her hand away. “Don’t you cover that up. Come on, baby, I wanna hear you.” She presses her lips together, and he huffs, driving himself into her just a little harder than strictly necessary.

He’s rewarded with a weak, throaty whimper, and he grins at her. “That’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” he confesses.

Her nipples stand through the thin, sweat-sheer fabric of her tank top, her softness rippling upwards with every stroke. He watches her body greedily, wanting more, wanting everything all at once. 

He wants, very badly, to lick her again, all the way from her neck to her sweet, trembling cunt. He can still taste her on his tongue as he presses his fingers down to her clit, just above the place where he’s still pumping in and out of her.

She cries out, coming again until she’s melting wet into the bed. 

He still doesn’t slow, but his thoughts have run away from him and all of a sudden he realises it’s too late, far too late to stop himself.

He wants her full of his cum, until he’s emptied out all of the ache of himself into her, and her pretty, swollen cunt’s overfull with him until he dribbles out from between her lips and onto his fingers, making a mess of the sheets so he can start all over again.

Right at the precipice of his climax, she opens her eyes and looks up at him. There are tears of overstimulation clinging to her eyelashes, and her fingers are clutching gently at the back of his shirt. 

Nobody has ever laid me down as low as you, he thinks, surprised at the strength of his emotion, willing her to understand.

But then he’s coming so hard his limbs go numb, and he isn’t thinking anything anymore. 

He presses himself deep, deep inside, shaking violently as she swallows every pulse of his orgasm. His heart is thunderous in his ears, his muscles liquefied. He slumps, panting.

If she objects to the deadweight of his body over hers, she doesn’t say anything. He stays there, smothering her, trying to regain his breath, until he can feel her beginning to shift uncomfortably beneath him.

“Was that…okay?” she says, ridiculously, like his soul didn’t just leave his body.

He doesn’t even bother responding to the question. “You’re crazy,” he muses instead. “She’s crazy.”

He’s lifting himself off her when his chain swings from the neck of his shirt, clocking her between the eyes. “Oh, shit,” he says, as she gasps in pain. “Sorry, baby.” He presses his fingers to the spot, feeling guilty. “Normally I’d’ve taken that off.”

He’s usually far more thoughtful than this when he has company, but this time he hadn’t unclipped his necklace, or changed his clothes or sheets. The thought simply hadn’t occurred to him. Because she doesn't feel like—has never felt like—a guest in his bed. In fact, her absences have only ever felt like temporary discomforts to be endured until her return.

She’s scowling at him, her nose wrinkled up like a Weequay’s, and it’s so fucking cute he wants to kiss her again. “Why didn’t you?” she says.

She needs to ask? “Because it’s you.”

As he crawls back down between her legs, he finds a spectacular mess of cum and sweat and the evidence of her orgasms on the sheets, and fuck, it’s soaking down here. He wonders whether she even realises what she’s done.

He’s disappointed he didn’t get to watch. He’s sure he can get her to do it again, though.

She blinks down at him, her eyes glassy. “What are you doing?”

His mouth waters watching the way her wet skin shines and he feels an answering twitch in his recently-softened cock. “Cleaning you up. We’re not done yet.”

Her eyes widen, but whatever she does next, he misses it.

He’s preoccupied.

Just tagging a couple of the lovely people who commented on the original and might be interested in this, absolutely no pressure of course! x

@saradika @oscarseyebrow @the-little-ewok @bacarasbabe @writeforfandoms @hardc0rehaylz @moonlight-prose @lcvenderblues @onfiretakemehigher @littlemousedroid @viceofdionysus @grufflepuff-writes-stuff @ifimayhaveaword @millllenniawrites @liamakorn @lilhawkeye3 @grumpymuffinmama @dailyreverie @mandelirious

[hoebaring]

Open Books (48) | Kim Namjoon

Tags/Warnings :- Child abuse, domestic violence, traumatized characters, bullying, self harm, mentions of toxic relationships, angst. I know it's dark but trust me it gets better! namjoonXreader, Namjoon and Y/n, A slow burn romance, fluff, strangers to friends, strangers to lovers, self love, healing, etc.

Cross posted on Wattpad

Written by Author G

Word Count :- 3.5k words

Additional Tags/Warnings ;- This chapter has ANGST! Sad tears everywhere! But don't worry, they get through it (at least a part of it). Namjoon is smug in this- he can NOT stop teasing Y/n omfg :( I feel bad for her, and myself (cause your author is falling in love with her characters and has to stop) To summarise this, buckle up for a lot of tears, lots of teasing and lots of smiles. It's the whole package (like namj- ok, I'll stop now)

heavily unedited, btw :) please, please forgive me if there are spelling errors. I stretched this out over a lot of days so it got tiring at a point :( thankyou for understanding <3

Masterlist   Previously Next..? (In 2 weeks)

~Hope~

As Y/n stands behind the curtains that conceal her from the audience, her heart beats fast against her ribcage, loud like the bass of the speaker as the host starts the event, making blood rush up to the tips of her ears, awakening the unusual dream-like view on the world around her right now.

This is it. The turn in her life that leads to the smooth road on which she will continue her journey towards achieving her goals, her journey towards her dreamland that she'd been fantasizing about for as long as she can remember.

Nothing could ever compare to the excitement she feels right now!

Or at least, that's what she thinks.

The minute Y/n peaks out of the velvety, red curtain to get a look into how much of an audience there is, she spots Namjoon dusting something off of his pants as he settles down into his chair in the front row.

The mere fact that he chose to sit so close to the stage makes her heart flutter girlishly, mind squealing in delight.

The excitement she feels soon lulls into a lovely, pastel shaded emotion of calm when his eyes meet hers, a dimpled smile present on his face.

It's at this moment when she remembers how her liking for him has become a much simpler emotion than the complex one she had at the beginning. That is, when her liking for him tip-toed a small way past the fine line between friendship and more.

Y/n has willingly run away from the fine line now, further and further into the section of 'more', and the more she realizes how much of her heart she's putting into this, the more soft and homely it, & he feels to her.

Y/n has always thought of love as an emotion that would, in an ideal situation, occur naturally.

Her foster parents' relationship, however, had almost convinced her that she might be wrong.

Nevertheless, she did not ever see any harm in trying to cling onto hope for survival.

It's what enabled her to stay strong and live, after all.

This idea of 'love occurring naturally' is what makes Y/n's heart melt into a puddle of happy tears when the realization of how it is not a grand or fancy moment that she requires, but a simple, momentary glance into his eyes to remind her of how she feels more than just hope now.

Like how a flower gradually blooms to it's fullest to spread it's wonderful fragrance for everyone to enjoy, her hope has evolved and grown to become love.

What better way to dwell in the love than by spreading it?

And that's exactly what Y/n decides to do.

Little does she know, she's already spread it.

Namjoon loves it, and her.

*

The sound of the microphone's feedback combined with the audience's applause is the only indication of the seminars end, for her mind and heart are still stuck back at the stage that she walks away from, swooning at how well the entire ordeal had gone by.

She loved every part of it. The steady grow in confidence the longer she stood on stage was impeccable as the slight tremor in her hands waned away, mic no longer heavy in her hands as she explained the entirety of the project along with Ji-Hoon, highlighting every little detail that they worked on for hours, days, together.

But, oh, nothing could ever compare to the loving warmth she felt when she looked Namjoon in the eye.

It wasn't just her love for him that made her feel warm, but his.

Speaking of which, where is he? She asks herself as she strolls around the long, red carpeted corridors in search of the male.

Y/n had observed him get up half way through the seminar when he saw Seok-Jin arrive and signal for him to come over.

She strolls around for a little while more, a happy little skip accompanying her walk every now and then, much like the skips of her heartbeat as she thinks of finding him, speaking to him, merely being with him, in his presence.

Never once had Y/n thought she would have anything that she did today.

Getting an offer from such a prestigious university was far from the clutches of her thoughts when in high school, because, unlike her current academic scope, she wasn't a high scoring student. 

What was the reason? Well, it could be because of problems at home, or the fear of math, but who cares? They're just excuses. And that attitude, the mere thought of wanting to be better than excuses, gave her hope.

Wanting to better herself and not limit herself to excuses, allowed her to grow room for more.

And liking someone? love? dating? Hah! Not only did Y/n frown upon the ideas, she thought they were unnecessary; blasphemous even.

She didn't believe in the superficial means of dating and attraction that accompanied the teenage dream.

She never believed she would be able to find love at such a young age.

And the fact that she did, makes her feel like a fool.

A fool, yes, but a fool in love.

Y/n turns to walk around the last corner on the left, voice low as she calls out to Namjoon in hopes of getting a reply.

"I know this is surprising Namjoon-ah" Seok-Jin' s voice is but a mumble as it comes from the dim lit room in the corridor. Y/n walks closer, hand raised to knock on the door, but before she can, she hears his voice.

"I'm n-not surprised" Namjoon's pleasant voice cracks, despair tainting it, making her heart drop.

On quiet toes, she moves away from the door and takes a seat on one of the many chairs present by it. It creaks slightly as she does, making her cringe, hoping that they haven't heard her.

"That's the problem.. I'm not surprised" Namjoon continues with a bitter chuckle and it's almost as if she can hear him grit his teeth as he says it.

"A part of me knew this would happen, and yet, I let it happen. I've let her down, hyung."

Oh..

Is it what I think it is?

"And I hate myself for it right now. How am I to tell myself to choose between things that I love, hyung?"

A small part of Y/n knew that a day like this would come. She knew all along.. and yet, let things go on as they were, for as far as they were.

"It's so unfair hyung.." Namjoon sniffles.. wait, sniffles?

He's crying?

Y/n's eyes widen at the thought, heart plunging to her stomach, dismissing the remnants of the butterflies that had pleasantly occupied it earlier. Now, the butterflies flutter their way up to her throat in the form of unshed tears, sitting there in a way that is too uncomfortable for her.

But then, what about this situation is pleasant?

"Namjoon-ah.. I tried.. I really did. But there was nothing more I could-"

Before she can stop it, the unshed tears in her throat escape her in the form of a small whimper, which they hear, no doubt.

"I'm sorry Namjoon-ah" Seok-Jin almost whispers before seemingly walking away, toward the door.

The want to help and comfort his friend weighs him down, head hanging low with the weight. He feels helpless. There's nothing he can do, really.

He comes to a stop beside Y/n and whispers a small, feeble apology, before he continues to make his way out of the corridor, the sound of his receding footsteps heavy like the dense atmosphere.

It's quiet as she listens to the silence that hangs in the air, contemplating on whether or not she should talk to Namjoon.

Hell, why was she even considering the latter?

She turns on her heel and faces the room.

There he stands, face blank, eyes filled to the brim with tears that threaten to spill as he stares at her, the hope that had blossomed up until now nowhere to be seen.

This is the first time Y/n has seen Namjoon cry.

It's always been him that stayed strong, for his mom, Dahee, for Y/n too. Not once has he failed her.

As she walks closer towards him, it becomes clearer as to why he is crying, pieces fitting together way too perfectly for her liking as she feels the familiar sting of hurt and anger prick her in the chest.

"Namjoon-ah" she calls out and his eyes meet hers.

Damn..

The very same eyes that looked at her with hope for more earlier today, stare into hers devoid of it.

Instead of the sparkling light behind those intricate slits, there's a dull, almost tired spark of the simple emotion we like to call love.

Namjoon is.. tired, to say the least.

Tired of having to fight for the smallest slivers of love that he expects from life. Tired of having done so at home, and having to face the same torturous experience here too, with her.

Not with her, please.. not her too!

Anger, contempt and distress bubble through his veins, and before he can stop himself, the emotions seep through his voice like they usually would when around the man that caused a similar kind of pain back at home.

"I do not want to talk about it, Y/n" his voice is curt, a sneer on his face, almost as if there's a.. wall that he's trying to put up around himself, as if he is trying to protect himself.

Protect himself, not from her, but from that miserable concoction of emotions that he whirls in right now.

Y/n feels a familiar prick in her heart, one that she knows all too well.

Never once had Namjoon, her Joon, ever spoken to her like so.

Voice ever so cold, eyes not willing to meet hers as if the very thought was foul. Instinctively, the sirens blare at her, noisily pleading for her to shield herself from the violent pinch in her proverbial heart.

Why? There is no need. This is Joon. He'd never hurt her.

His reaction.. was something she hadn't ruled out, something she considered might happen.

She has seen this before, felt this before.

This miserable instinct of not wanting to let the other person know that they've gotten to you no matter how much it hurt on the inside, might be the only thing that kept her sane back home.

And she completely understands how it might have affected him outside of such a hostile environment too. You see, she's experienced it too.

And she knows that the moment he uttered those words, a huge truck of shame would have crashed down upon him, making the self respect wither and welt away like the last flower in winter.

"Please.. talk to me" she whispers, hand on his shoulder as she tries to swallow the lump of tears down in hopes of staying strong for him.

Silence.

"Joon.. tell me. Is it what I think it is?" Y/n speaks once more, hating the fact that she can't find it in her to truly voice it out.

"I.. I can't Y/n-ah.. I can't do this all over again. I'm tired.." he breaks as pitiful sobs wrack through him.

"How.. how is it fair of him to ask me to choose between you and them?"

So it is that. The cliché "trainees must not date" rule they'd been dreading silently.

It must have been because the producer saw them together that day.. when Joon introduced her to him as his girlfriend.

This is isn't a big deal! We'll move past this.. right?

This.. sure, it might seem dramatic to most people. But to Namjoon, to Y/n, oh, it isn't drama. It's true exhaustion that settles in their bones as they think of how much they'll have to struggle for this too.

It's always been a battle for them. Be it at home, at school, with themselves.. they've always had to struggle for the smallest bits of hope. And now, Namjoon can't seem to find any more strength within himself to get up.

She can see that he's on the verge of letting go.. of giving up.

"Please, Namjoon-ah.. talk to me" Y/n begs, as if hearing his voice will soothe her aching heart.

However, it doesn't.

"No Y/n! I can't talk!"

Her breath hitches, and for the first time around them, uncomfortable silence follows.

Unbeknownst to him, contempt seemed to lace his voice. His face is twisted into a hateful scowl, the tears that stain his face angry, his eyebrows furrowed as if the last thing he wanted was her to see him so vulnerable.

The anger he seems to carry. The contempt. The fact that he doesn't want her to see him vulnerable, without any walls up.. she knows why this is happening. Like said before, sge is all too familiar with the trauma for her liking. She understands.

But, a small part of her can't help but think that maybe.. maybe it was only her that felt comfortable. Maybe she didn't earn all of his trust yet..

That breaks her.

Hot tears roll down her face, burning the skin as they do and she has to grit her teeth to try and calm herself down, eyes closed to try and block out the bright light, feeling all too overwhelmed by everything now.

Before she can let her mind race farther down that dark road, however, she feels herself being engulfed into a hug. One that seems to piece back all that she felt break inside her.

She feels safe in his arms. Warmth. Like a subtle ray of sunlight when out on a cold day.

The pleasant silence returns, loud enough to block out all that noisy chit-chatter.

That's all the apology she requires to soothe her. That's all the love she needs to find her way out. To find hope.

"I.. I can't talk about it" he starts, voice broken. "Because if I do, it would mean that it matters."

"But it does matter, Joon.. doesn't it?" She asks, although she feels no reason to.

She��knows it does.

"Of course it does, Y/n. But, that scares me. Because, if it matters, it's real. And when it's real, it hurts." He completes, voice growing more steady, more sure with every word he speaks, almost as if the strength he lost returned as he did.

That's what being in her presence did to him. She gave him strength.

"But it is real. It does hurt, Namjoon-ah. We can't run from it." Y/n shakes her head, gently moving away from him to look at him. "Don't you think it's going to be easier if we do this together?"

"It would.." he nods as he cups her face, wiping away the tears that stained her cheeks. The tears he caused.

Wincing at the thought, he looks away, the pain returning once more.

How could have done this.. ugh.

He was the one that was supposed to protect her from harm if ever threatened.

He was the one that was supposed to keep her safe from pain.

He wasn't supposed to have fucking caused it!

That is the responsibility he took the moment he loved her. The moment she allowed him to do so.

To keep the other's heart safe. That is the responsibility of love.

And he failed, miserably so.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n-ah. I promise.." he feels his voice break once more as he presses his forehead against hers, unable to look her in the eye, ashamed of himself.

".. I promise Y/n..! I never meant to hurt you. Truly.." he begs.

"I know, Joon. I know. But, it.. it hurt that, even though it was for a second, you felt the need to hide how you felt about this from me." Y/n sniffles, hating that she can't stop the small tears although she isn't mad at him.

That, he hates.

She should be mad at him! Not just look at him with those eyes that already whisper words of love and affection.

She should give him a chance to work for it! How else is he supposed to get rid of the guilt he feels? How else is he supposed to feel worthy of her love once more? Of her, in all her grace?

"I can't take back how I said what I said, Y/n-ah. But, I don't know what else to do, but ask you if you can forgive me?" he pleads, voice a mere whisper, as if anything louder would break him.

"Of course I do, Joon." She replies, a small smile making it's way onto her face when he tucks a small strand of her hair behind her ear, staring at her as if she's the most precious to him on this planet.

She is.

"Let me make it up to you.. please. I really am sorry." His shoulders shake ever so slightly with the guilt that consumes him.

"Hey.. hey, I know." Y/n tilts his face up so its no longer looking down with shame, hating how he can't seem to accept her forgiveness. Hating how he's beating himself up for it.

"There's nothing to make up for. You made it better. It's ok, Joon. I'm fine, see?" It's her turn to wipe away the tears streaming down his face, smiling once he nods his head.

"Oh, I love you" he confesses, chuckling once she starts crying once more.

This wouldn't stop anytime soon, would it?

Neither of them are surprised with his confession. Maybe because he just stated what they knew all along.

There isn't much that changes for either of them when he utters the words.

The world doesn't stop, their hearts don't beat faster, there isn't a chaotic dance the butterflies perform.

No. Instead, they feel at peace. Like as if saying those words restored that little bit of hope they needed in the moment.

Of course he had to say it first! This day wasn't going as planned at all..! But then again, she isn't going to complain about this.

"Why? Don't you want me to love you?" Namjoon teases, a cheeky smile on his face as he tries to make the situation better, wiping away her tears once more.

"Shut up..!" She slaps him on the arm with a frown before engulfing him into another hug, laughing at how silly she was being.

"Come on, say it back. You know you want to." he teases more, tickling her once she refuses playfully.

"Ok, ok, fine! I love you too..!" She laughs out, swollen eyes seemingly disappearing when she smiles, nose a tinge of red from all the crying.(blushing too)

"There you go" he smirks cheekily, before leaning down to press a kiss against her forehead, making those butterflies flutter about once more, as if to celebrate the moment, dancing to the beat of hearts that compliment each other.

"What do we do about this.. situation, then?" Y/n asks, glad that they're both in a better frame of mind now.

"What? The one where you can't stop blushing like a tomato? Hm, let me think-" he teases, laughing once she slaps him on the head once more.

"Ok, ok! I'll stop!"

"You're so.. ugh!" She rolls her eyes, as if annoyed by him, although they both know that ain't the situation. The smile she wears gives it away.

"Either way, you still love me"

"Yes, you big old oaf, I do- That's not the point..!"

"Really? I can't help but think of anything but that, however. I wonder why.." He asks, standing up from his spot on the ground.

"Namjoon."

"What?"

"Shut up." She quips, making him laugh out once more as he helps her up onto her feet. He absolutely loved teasing her!

"Come on now, let's get some ice cream and.. you know, talk." He suggests, holding her hand in his warm one.

The walk to the convenience store is quiet, the fresh air just what they need as they think back to what happened, and the situation they're in.

They'd just have to handle it like how they would with any other, they agree. Face it head on, together.

They can't help but smile at the thought of how.. right, it feels to be together as Namjoon shows her the picture of their first outing to the amusement park. One where, much like they are now, eating ice cream, a small bit of it smudged on her nose in the picture.

This day could have gone better, yes. But it doesn't matter. They don't

want a fairy tale. They want each other. At their best, and worst. At their most true moments.

Their love is now stronger than before. Truer than before, because they got through it together.

After all, that's the purpose of their hope, isn't it? To get through tough times. To give each other strength. To be each other's love, and hope.

Oh, they loved this. Each other. Without a doubt.

[nose-bandaid]

Strawberry Kisses (and Ferris Wheel Views)

Wooseok x (gender neutral) Reader | non idol AU fluff fluff fluff ! | 3.5k words

synopsis: you’ve finally returned from your trip aboard, and what’s one of the first things you’re going to do? go to the amusement park with your best friend of course! scary roller coasters, funnel cakes, silly pictures, and ferris wheel views, with wooseok by your side, how could this day not end well? 

a/n: honestly just a fic with a bunch of cliches, but it’s still cute though... at least i think so. i wrote this with a blurry mind i’m so sorry lol, but i hope you enjoy !

=====

“Slow down for a bit, would you?” You panted, desperately trying to catch up to the man running far ahead of you, a happy bounce evident in every step he took. “My legs can’t catch up.” You sighed as you slowed to a stop, basically talking to yourself at this point. Wooseok took note of your absence by his side and ceased his gleeful skipping to look back at you who had resumed your tired trudging. When you finally caught up, you pouted a little at him for running off like that, but he simply laughed and ruffled your hair.

“Sorry, I just have so much energy after missing my best friend for so long — are you not excited to go on more rides?” He asked, falling into step with you as the two of you continued walking.

You and Wooseok were out at the local amusement park to celebrate your return from a trip overseas for a small job offer. You had a blast over there and it was a great opportunity for you to not only flex your skills, but to also learn new things for future jobs. Though as anyone else would, you also spent a great deal of those days missing your friends back home, especially Wooseok. Video calls and text messages couldn’t compete with actually getting to hang out with your best friend in person.

“Please, I was only gone for two months. And of course I’m excited, but we’ve been walking around for hours now, aren’t you just the slightest bit tired? I could go for some snacks right now.” You replied as you neared the next section of the park. Wooseok’s eyes lit up at the mention of food and nodded enthusiastically.

“Ooh! How about some funnel cakes then?” He pointed at the colourful stand to your left. There was a short line curving around it and a small family occupying one of the tables. In comparison to the neighbouring stalls, it was fairly empty and a good idea. Once you agreed, he grabbed your hand and dragged you along with him to get in line yourselves. At that action, your heart fluttered a bit and your ears were undoubtedly redder than the strawberries that decorated the funnel cake being advertised. 

You had known Wooseok since middle school, starting from when you transferred to his school and was promptly placed in the seat right behind him. Even back then, it obvious that he was a tall boy who was bound to continue on growing in the future, so it ticked you off a little that the teacher somehow managed to overlook that factor when deciding on the seating arrangement. It took a few weeks of cursing him and his height silently, along with missing the occasional set of notes on the board before you worked up the courage to ask him to switch seats with you, after getting the teacher’s permission. Your initial spite melted away when you realized that he was actually a very sweet kid, contrasting to his intimidating appearance. The two of you quickly became good friends, up to the point where you guys were barely be seen without the other by their side.

As time passed, you had developed a crush on him, and that little secret snowballed into a giant mess of feelings by the time you both entered high school. To put it frankly, you were in love with your best friend and you had no idea what to do about it. Sure, you also wavered between others and you dated a little along the way in hopes of getting over Wooseok, but your heart kept returning to the same place until you couldn’t deny your feelings for him anymore. Now that you two were both in university, your clashing schedules and side jobs made it harder to meet up like this. You were most definitely disappointed to be losing precious time with one of your favourite people, however a small part of you was also glad that you’ve finally been given a chance to calm your heart down. From what your friends have noted, your crush on Wooseok was honestly quite obvious and they were surprised that he hadn’t noticed by now. Which at the moment, is something that you’re fine with leaving it as is — you couldn’t bear to see his reaction if he ever found out.

You felt a nudge on your shoulder and you looked up at the person in question, watching him point his head towards the direction of the menu. “Have any idea on what you want? I’ll pay, it’s my treat for your return.”

You fiddled with your ears, trying to hide how nervous you felt as you tried to think through the options. “Uhmm.. honestly, I’m not so sure.” You admitted after a short while. All of the options just seemed too appealing and narrowing them down to just one was nearly impossible.

“Ok then how about we just share one? And save our stomachs for later. The strawberry one seems popular here, let’s get that.”

“S-sure! Let’s do that. I’ll go get us a seat.”

And with that, you quickly left him on his own and made a beeline towards the furthest table available, looking at nothing but the ground as you did. If you had made any progress in hiding the blush that was spreading to your cheeks, it was definitely done in vain, because now your whole face burned.

We’ve always been sharing food together, why is it bothering me so much now? You whined to yourself. All you wanted was to spend a fun day with your best friend before you both had to go back to classes, but the tangled feelings inside your chest refused to let you enjoy it with peace. You mind ran wild, thinking of all the scenarios that could possibly play out on that day and worrying about unintentionally making your feelings for him way too obvious. You shook your head in an attempt to clear your mind of all those thoughts, but nothing seemed to work, and you sighed in defeat.

When Wooseok joined you at the seat, your worries melted away when you saw just how cute the dessert was. The syrup decorated the ice cream with the shape of a cat’s face with two strawberry slices making the ears, along with a bunch of other small decorations scattered here and there. It was, to put it simply, adorable, and looking at it made you feel like a kid again.

“You like it? It was supposed to be flowers or something ‘cause of the promotions, but I asked them to make it into a cat instead.” He laughed.

“Like it? I love it! I’m glad the cat lover in you jumped out because this is so cute.” You gushed, taking some photos as you did.

Wooseok simply smirked at your reaction and began to cut into the cake, killing the cat in the process, much to your dismay. “Here.” The fork in front of your face caught your attention and he signaled for you to take a bite. “You try it first and let me know if it’s good.”

“Are you sacrificing me or something?” You countered, accepting the offer anyways. The sweet flavour brought a smile to your face and you cut off a small piece to feed him in return.

“It’s really good, here —“ Your words were cut short when you noticed Wooseok’s quiet laughter behind the hand covering his mouth. Putting the fork down, you looked at him in bewilderment, not catching onto what he found so funny.

“Sorry,” he stifled another giggle, “It’s just — it’s just that you got some whipped cream on your nose.”

You sighed. “That’s what you’re laughing so hard about?” 

“Hey, it’s really cute.” He defended.

Before you could reach out for a napkin, he stopped you and pulled out his phone.

“Wait, stay like that for a second, I need a picture of this.”

You pouted as he snapped his picture and fiddled with his phone for a bit before he finally accepted the food.

“Oh! You’re right, that is really good.” He agreed, taking another bite (and also stabbing the now disfigured cat a second time).

You finished the cake in no time, and spent the next few hours going on more thrilling rides, looking at the animals in the small zoo they had, watching Wooseok almost fall into the tiger cage after trying to peer too closely at the sleeping creature, and then grabbing another small snack to fill the infinite void in your stomachs. By the time the sun started to set, both of you were clearly tired from the long day of fun you shared.

“Hey,” you tapped Wooseok’s shoulder. He looked up from the shoe he was tying and followed your fingers which were pointing on the ferris wheel nearby. “Let’s go on one last ride and then call it a day. The sunset’s going to look really nice from way up there wouldn’t it?” You suggested excitedly. When he stood up to look at the towering ride with you, you noticed that there was a flash of panic in his eyes and wondered if he was against the idea. 

“Is there something wrong with that? We don’t have to go.” You offered. His face seemed so lost that you worried he had something against ferris wheels.

“Oh... no... It’s just that Yuto said something stupid about ferris wheels the other day, it’s no big deal, I’m cool with going.” He awkwardly gestured for you to lead the way and you dropped the topic for his sake. As you waited in line you felt your phone ping in your back pocket and pulled it out to read a message from Kino.

[ chat with: Kino♡ ]

Kino♡: out on a date with Wooseok?

y/n: ??? how did you know i was with him?

y/n: and it’s not a date, we’re just hanging out at the amusement park>:(

Kino♡: mhmm that’s what they all say:)

Kino♡: he posted a picture of you being a messy eater as usual, it was pretty cute btw

Kino♡: he tagged me as the strawberry at the top:)

Kino♡: what are you guys up to now?

y/n: you’re kidding me, he posted that one out of all the pictures we took today?

y/n: we’re waiting in line for the ferris wheel rn

Kino♡: oh? is this what i think it is?

y/n: if you’re thinking that we’re going to ride the ferris wheel then you’re correct

Kino♡: no i mean like

Kino♡: is it confession time for our dear y/n?? 

y/n: what the heck kino we’ve already discussed this, i’m not telling him about that EVER ok. end of story.

Kino♡: are you not aware that kissing at the top of the ferris wheel is like a thing?

y/n: umm no...? bro i just wanted to ride the ferris wheel that’s it

Kino♡: i’m sighing right now y/n, i really am

Kino♡: Wooseok probably knows of it, he’s watched anime with Yuto before

y/n: oh so that’s what he was talking about earlier...

y/n: Yuto watches those kinds of anime???

Kino♡: Yuto watches a lot of things.

y/n: i —

Kino♡: anyways;) i really do think you should go through with the confession though, if you’re up to it

Kino ♡: i can guarantee you with all of my heart that it will turn out well

Kino ♡: one sec

y/n: and how are you so sure?

y/n: Kino?

y/n: hello?

After a few moments, it was clear that Kino wasn’t going to reply anytime soon and you tucked your phone away once again, sighing.

I was doing perfectly fine without those thoughts man… why did he have to get me thinking about this again?

You glanced at Wooseok, who was looking up at the carriages and shifting side to side almost nervously. You couldn’t help but wonder to yourself… Was Kino being serious? He wouldn’t lie about these kinds of things right? That wasn’t like him.

“Wooseok,” your voice brought him out of his daydream and his head whipped towards yours. “Are you excited?” You tried to play it off as a casual question and did your best to keep an oblivious expression as you waited for his answer. His eyes stared into yours and then lingered at your lips for a moment, long enough for you to notice.

“Yeah, I am. Can’t wait to finally sit on a ride where you won’t be screaming your head off.” He chuckled and patted your head.

“As if you weren’t screaming as well. Who was the one who almost stood up at one of the drops in the last ride? Was it not the one and only Jung Wooseok?” You scoffed back playfully, but your mind was going into overdrive trying to figure him out. It was almost as if Kino’s hint was true… but he’s also acting way too casual if that’s the case. 

You spent the rest of the time waiting in silence.

By the time you finally boarded the carriage, the sun was almost gone, but its colourful hues still streaked the sky beautifully and painted Wooseok’s face in gold as he took a seat in front of you. Before your chat with Kino, you were delighted to be able to view the park from above, but now, there was an unbearable sense of awkwardness between you two. The carriage started and instead of pointing out all the rides you’ve been on and food stalls you’ve visited together, both of you sat in silence, minus the few comments made by the other about the view. As you got closer and closer to the top of the wheel, your stomach sank into a pit of nervousness — you were a mess. You initially had no intentions of confessing to him that day, or ever, really. But now you suddenly felt the responsibility of making a move or else you’d miss the one of the only chances you’ll ever get to confess.

The peak of the ferris wheel arrived and you held your breath in preparation for the moment, but the carriage simply moved past it and made its way back to the bottom. 

Right. It stops at the top on the second round.

You didn’t know if you should’ve felt glad that you had more time to think of at least some coherent words to say to him, or if you should’ve been upset by the fact that you now had even more time to overthink things. You heard the soft ping! from your phone and took a peek at the messages.

[ chat with: Yuto ]

Yuto: Kino wanted me to tell you that I second the idea of confessing

Yuto: I don’t know, he wanted me to tell you this because I’m apparently the closest to Wooseok

Yuto: But I do agree, you should go for it

Yuto: Have you not seen the way he acts around you?

[ chat with: Kino♡]

Kino♡: i just know things~~

Kino♡: did yuto message you? does that make it a little more reassuring?

Kino♡: whatever you decide to do, we’re cheering for you ! ♡

Kino ♡ sent a sticker

You pulled yourself away from your phone, not bothering to reply to the boys and sighed a little too loudly for your liking, as it caught Wooseok’s attention.

“Hey, you’ve been acting weirdly, what’s up?” He gently asked, trying to make eye contact with you, but you refused to look his way. “Y/n?” Concerned laced his voice as he poked your shoulder, trying to coax a response from you.

The carriage jerked to a stop. You took a deep breath and pieced together your tangled thoughts. “Well… it’s just that…” you paused. 

Kino and Yuto have confidence in you… you can do it! You reassured yourself before looking up at Wooseok. 

“I like you, yeah? Like… I like you like you. Which may or may not be a crush I’ve had since high school but that’s not really important. And I know we’ve been friends for so long and it’s probably awkward for me to say this all out of the blue but I really felt like I should tell you this…” You knew you were rambling, but the words just kept on spilling out of your mouth, trying to fill up the silence when he didn’t reply. “And I don’t want to ruin our friendship just know that, so if you don’t feel the same way then you could just, you know, forget that all of this happened and we’ll go back to normal. That’s totally fine you cause you mean a lot more to me than some stupid feelings that are getting in the way. But, it would be really nice if we could, perhaps, go out sometime…?” You didn’t mean for it to end with a question, but you couldn’t ignore the extremely awkward atmosphere. He still hasn’t said a single word and the burning panic in that was eating you inside out. 

Wooseok stared back at you with wide eyes, mouth slightly open. Then he took off his cap and ran his hand through his hair, a shocked expression splayed out on his face. If it weren’t for the current situation, you would’ve thought that he’d just won a game or the lottery, from the way his eyes fluttered around frantically, in search for some validation that this was, in fact, happening. Though you weren’t quite sure whether this was a happy event or not for your friend.

“Woah, wait is this like, for real? You’re not joking right?” His voice sounded hopeful and you felt your heart ease just the tiniest bit at that.

“What? No, I would never joke about this, you know that.”

“Well,” He scoffed a little at the way he was acting. “If that’s the case then like… wow.”

“... Wow?” Your heart sank back to its rock bottom. Was that all he had to say?

He nodded and reached out to pull your hands into his. “Yes, wow. I like you, like you too. For a while now. I never knew you felt the same way.” He confessed, gently rubbing your hands with his long fingers. His voice grew quieter. “I never thought that this would actually happen between us, I don’t think I would’ve ever had the courage to bring it up myself.”

“So… what happens now? What does this make us then?” You took your chances and prayed quietly that he wouldn’t just drop the subject and move on.

“Hmm, well, if I like you, and you like me, then that means you would be up to being my girlfriend right?”

You giggled at his answer and pulled his hands closer to your body. “Yes, of course that means I would like to be your girlfriend, dummy.” The carriage stuttered a little and then began moving once again.

Wooseok let out a contained shout and covered his face with his hands, trying to keep his happiness in check. “I would hug you right now if I could. I am so — this is so —” He smiled and let out a groan before shuffling from his seat to the empty spot on your right, tilting the carriage a bit with the shift of weight. “Here, you get a side hug in the meanwhile.” He leaned into your shoulder and wrapped one arm around you.

You laughed at his cute reaction and gladly accepted it. “Thank you, but they said to keep the carriage balanced, so you should probably go back to your seat before we either fall off and die, or the worker yells at us.” As much as you wanted to have him by your side like this forever, you gently nudged him to get him to move, but he refused.

“Nah, I want to stay here a bit longer, I’ll move before we reach the bottom, they won’t catch me.” He replied cheekily, lacing his hand back into yours. The carriage made its stop at the very top and you both gazed out at the sliver of light that was sinking into the horizon.

“Hey,” Wooseok started softly, “Can I kiss you?”

“Huh?” Even though Kino had, in a way, prepared you for this, your jaw still dropped at his question and you were at a loss for words. 

Like heck yeah you could kiss me, You thought to yourself, but there’s no way I would be able to say that in a cool way... think y/n, think!

“I — I mean like on the cheek maybe?” He added nervously.

“Ah… yes, yes you can.” You managed, and tilted your head a little. In a flash, his lips softly planted a kiss on your heated cheeks and you couldn’t stop the smile that made its way onto your face as you buried it into your hands. Judging from the way Wooseok was giggling a little, you suspected that he was smiling just as much.

“Thank you.” He whispered

“For what, the kiss?”

“No, just thank you. For everything.”

You hummed happily at his reasoning and tapped his hand lightly. “Anything for my favourite boy, I guess. But you should probably go back to your seat or else you’ll actually get yelled at.”

Looking out the window, Wooseok quickly realized just how close to the ground you guys were and practically jumped back into his original seat, trying to act casual when the worker gave him a dirty look while you were let out. The two of you laughed off the encounter as you made your way towards the exit, sharing stories about all the close calls you both experienced when it came to almost exposing your feelings to the other. 

“You know, Yuto and Kino kept on trying to get me to confess to you, and I was really going to do it once. We had this whole thing prepared and I was all dressed and everything but I was weak and backed out last minute. They were so disappointed in me. I even had to watch like 5 seasons of some sappy anime with Yuto to prepare myself for it, but I don’t really know if that was even helpful or necessary.” He laughed as he finished telling you another story.

Ah so they knew... that’s why they had so much confidence in me.

You recounted to Wooseok some of your own stories involving Yuto and Kino as well, and the two of you connected the dots to see how those two were sneakily masterminding a plan to make you into a couple ever since the beginning. The whole time, he held your hand tightly in his and you walked the slightest bit closer to his side, shoulder brushing against his arm every so often, but both of you didn’t mind. As childish and giddy you both must’ve been, it were the little actions such as those, that reinforced the feelings you shared on the ferris wheel.

=====

bonus:

[ chat with: Yuto ]

Yuto: Hello y/n 

Yuto: Kino is panicking because you didn’t reply to him

Yuto: He thinks he worried you too much and he’s actually about to cry please message him back I don’t know if I can comfort him for that much longer

Yuto: There’s too many typos in his messages how am I supposed to help him...

=====

i’ve recently found myself in some wooseok loving hours and honestly, that is fine by me. he is so intriguing.

~ tiny

[lamentedhope-a]

@gellcrt replied to your post: Here’s your reminder that the only other character...

… rude af, let’s not start on that loop again!! sidenote though because I just realized this but… wow the implications of 1. *albus* believing that gellert could conjure up a powerful enough HAPPY memory for that and 2. do so wandlessly, what. don’t ruin this for me by suggesting that “supporters” could break him out or other means. YES HI MY NAME IS A AND I RANDOMLY HIJACK YOUR POSTS I AM SORRY

..............................albus never would have thought supporters would break him out. i mean, yeah, that could happen (gellert certainly inspired enough loyalty), but that definitely wasn’t in his thought process regarding where he imprisoned gellert. it was all about how gellert is an extremely powerful wizard and albus really didn’t want to have to kill him, thus he needed a good enough prison. so . . . yeah, he fully believed that azkaban wouldn’t be able to hold gellert, and all that implies. . . ( he feels extremely called out by you pointing this out, btw )

( and there’s no loop to be had !! he won the duel, you lost, case closed )

gellcrt replied to your post “gellcrt replied to your post: Everything from the...”

. . .. me, realizing this: did you... did you really write 3.5k about how tedious and irritating Albus finds godric's hollow??? wow.

.........................................was it really that long?? sweats;; there was clearly more going on in there than that !!

( but you say this as if i haven’t previously written you over 1k words about albus’s specific feelings about gellert during that summer, like, come on now. . .)

[cyberstabbing]

not frerard

Gen

well. shit. - an asshole!mcr ficlet disguised as a desolation row au….. it’s just an excuse to write the boys as jerks. 0.7k

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

painful but worth a read. or ten.

also, there’s some background one-sided frerard, but very low-key. and i repeat: one-sided.

​​Now With More Cowbell - Hermes - trickster god first and foremost, the patron saint of robbers and thieves, of conmen and rockstars. He’ll go to bat for you if you make him laugh or if he likes your style, or if you have an offering that tickles his fancy (he’s fond of stuffed animals, cigarettes, and ugly puppies, just as an FYI).

One of his godly duties is to guide souls to the underworld, lead them into their personal version of the afterlife, though maybe some people he doesn’t like get lost along the way. He’s not too great with messages, either, to be honest. 0.5k

Not a Pretty Girl - 28k

Gen. Always-been-a-girl fic featuring kick ass female drummer, Bob Bryar. The story is a series of shorter fics all about her life before MCR, growing up as a woman in the Chicago scene, touring with The Used, joining MCR and everything that comes with that. It's awesome. + art!

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

Incredibly painful but worth a read. Or ten. Does have one-sided Frank/Gerard (mentioned).

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

Ship(s): Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read. Putting this under both Gen and Other ships because whilst it doesn’t focus on a specific pairing Mikey’s relationships are brought up, just like all the other parts of her life are.

Update because I need to add some things: Listen! Words can not express how obsessed with this fic I am. I made a mixtape for it. Fanart. Currently working on a ebook version of it so I can print it out. Guys. You do not understand how fucking fantastic this fic is. Don’t scroll away from me, I’m serious! Fucking click the link dammit. Click it. C’mon. I’m waiting–click iiiiit. You back yet? Yeah? What did I tell you! I know, it is amazing! You okay? Got tissues? Good. Okay now go wash your face and eat a snack. No, no, no need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine.

Life on the Fashion Scene - This season of Project Runway becomes infamous for reasons beyond the quirks of the designers, Matt P.'s ousting, Pete's apparently crippling co-dependence on Patrick, and the rumored trysts between Mikey and Pete spawned by their formation of the Sweet Little Dudes Club (and the resulting matching t-shirts). 6k

Oh my god. Oh my. God. See, when I first saw the description I just started laughing hysterically. And then I started reading the first paragraph, just to see how ridiculous it would be. But I couldn’t put it down. So I read the entire thing, got way to invested, and now I’m begging strangers on the internet to read it. ...Please do!!!

Rappelling Down Mount Vesuvius - 1k | Gen

I love reading little snippets of their lives like this. Just the right amount of fluff and backstory for something bittersweet and hopeful.

Other ships

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read. Putting this under both Gen and Other ships because whilst it doesn’t focus on a specific pairing Mikey’s relationships are brought up, just like all the other parts of her life are.

Ships: Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

Thank You For The - Just an alien in New Jersey, looking for a mate. 0.5k

"Have fun," Gerard said, even though he'd just told Mikey he couldn't have fun because he needed to be careful. Mikey wished his venom sacs were fully developed. He would spit on Gerard's shoes.

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

Not Smashing Windows - In the beginning, they were the scene. An origin story. 32k

From Gabe’s POV, and it’s done flawlessly. It somehow emulates the same feeling one gets from stumbling across an overlooked short film at three a.m. on youtube. The one you can’t help but wonder about, how it is that you’ve never heard about it before. Like it is in its own bubble of existence. Feeling afraid to even breathe or look away, afraid that it’ll disappear at any time, that it was too good to be true. Something you shouldn’t be able to hold in your hands. This fic feels incredibly personal to read. Gabe’s longings of intimacy, the hopelessness at parts. I could feel my fondness for the characters grow enormously in this fic. 

The wording and conversations and scenes paint a brilliant picture that will stay with you for a long time. I know it will for me at least. 

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k

(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)

Ship: Gerard Way/Gerard Way

James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k

(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)

Ship: Frank Iero/Frank Iero

Put Your Mouth Over The Stupid Things We're Taught We Ought To Say - Gabe wakes up drunk, holding on to the bed for dear life and hoping he's not about to die. He's had nightmares about that, lately. Waking up confused and disoriented and then a few minutes later, dead. Sometimes there's symbolism and shit. 5k

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

00.06 - '4 and 14 adopt a newborn baby together. What do they name it, how do they raise it, etc, etc. Do they eventually get it siblings? Do they ditch it in a dumpster on prom night because its not as fun as they thought?’

THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. And yet, I am oddly charmed by it. 2k

oh my god. it was hilarious. Ship: Gerard Way/James Potter

Code Red - In the fall out of a fire fight, Party Poison goes looking for medicine, and finds pretty much the exact opposite of that. 2k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

Frank/Gabe pr0n - "I need you to go to a party with me tonight."  Frank blinked and looked up at Mikey, frowning. "What?" 2k maybe

Ship: Frank/Gabe

Workplace Appropriate Attire - Korse is a creepy boyfriend. 1k

This was fun to read, but some lines made me go OH SHIT, because ...... well if you read this you will know what I’m talking about.

Ship(s): Korse/Party Poison

love on the webways - As a writer, Grant supposes he could have considerably worse habits than trolling his own message boards. 

A totally ridiculous AU vaguely inspired by You've Got Mail. 32k

This was so fun to read! It’s a what-if-they-broke-up-after-tbp fic btw.

Ship: Grant/Gerard

We Got Machines - There are questions on the lips of everyone with eyes or money on the arena. Who is this kid? Where’d he come from? Who trained him? BLind’s got no records on him, meaning he’s a Zonebrat returning to the grasp of the city of his own volition. Another anomaly. That a 16 year old nobody could waltz in out of nowhere and turn the system on its head is... concerning to BLind. <1k Part 1 of KJ/Griefers 'verse (3.5k in total)

Ship: Deadmau5/G3rard

xoxoxoxo - Party Poison wakes up somewhere he's never been - but there's plenty that's familiar here. 1k

Ship: Party Poison/Korse

​I'll Repair For You (When The Roof Starts To Fall) - When Gerard inherits a house in Scotland from a distant relative, he doesn't expect to have to spend quite so much time at the hardware store. He also doesn't expect to fall in love with the tiny little village or with one of his neighbors...who just happens to be Grant Morrison. 17k

Ship: Grant/Gerard

In Firmer Chains, Our Hearts Confine - Former musical composer and current writer Gerard Way is a sensation of the musical and literary scenes of 1800s London. But after struggling for ages with his new book, he’s close to giving up. Until he receives an offer from Grant Morrison himself; to go to his manor in Scotland and work on his novel in peace. Gerard seizes upon the chance immediately. Grant, however, has a dark secret he’s desperately trying to keep hidden. And Gerard has a few of his own. 37k

Picture me, casually stumbling upon this fic one late night. Historical? Check. An AU but Gerard’s talents are still appreciated and encouraged, and he makes a name for himself? Double check. Grant Morrison? Check. Gerard and Grant’s dark secrets? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK

Me: *already fucking shaking from excitement, now glancing up at the tags* Enter the tag Alternate Universe - Vampire. Queue foaming at the mouth.

This fic was so fucking awesome in so many ways I don’t even know where to begin. The slow and suspenseful unraveling of secrets and mysteries. The numerous parallels drawn between the AU and real life events of the people in it, and that the author made sure that they all worked within the AU without a hitch. All the actions and ambitions of the people in it that somehow managed to balance masterfully on the fine line between what’s canon and what’s realistic for that time period.

Fuck, lurkers guys. I’m not sure if my word-vomiting even gets anyone to read fic on my list, but for the sake of this fic (and my ego sdkjlskldhfklf) I ask anyone reading this to p l  e a s e read it. For your own sake. And mine. Because I need to yell about this fic with somebody, STAT.

Ships: Gerard/Grant, and very, I repeat, VERY low-key Frank/Mikey

Looking for Satellites - Galaxy-hopping alien trader Gerard has business on space station Perseus Four. Getting to know station administrator Grant is a nice bonus. 25k

Gerard is a sexy, telepathic and open minded (heh) alien and it’s great.

Ship: Gerard/Grant

Candle on the Drawer - No one thinks your hands being funny colors is weird when you go to art school. Probably about 1-3k

“So, okay. Gerard maybe has a drawer full of candles in every color of the rainbow. It’s kind of weird, yeah, but it’s not like anyone ever goes digging in his drawers so it’s not something he really feels the need to hide. How was he supposed to know that Gabe was going to go digging in drawers for whatever reason? How was he supposed to know Gabe was going to be in his room at all? He’s more Mikey’s friend.”

Gerard is into waxplay!

Ship: Gerard/Gabe

the only hope for me - Korse has never been one to show his emotions. 1k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same - a battery city ambush goes somewhat wrong. 0.8k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

Methane Skies - Run, run, bunny, run. 3k

Hot damn this is some creepy and suspenseful stuff.

Ship: (implied) Korse/Party Poison

All the Broken Pieces (Keep Cool, Stay Tough) - Up until that fateful night, Frank’s had a pretty decent life. But everything’s changed and now he’s got to figure out how to be himself again. With the help of some really groovy friends, Peppers, and his never-give-up attitude, Frank gonna get there. He’s sure of it. 39k

There’s this spectacular scene involving an escalator and Frank making a grand entrance that immediately pops into my head when I think of this fic.

Description by babylynz: OH MY FUCKING GOD OKAY, THIS IS A FRIKEY FIC BUT IT’S SO FUCKIGN GOODJDDJDHHHGHG

basically Frank gets in an accident that leaves him unable to walk and it’s a really emotional kinda story (but like .. Idk, it’s lighthearted) about him getting used to everyday life again and he meets Mikey online and they bond over really shitty movies and they meet up and AHH!!! Also Ray is like …. a ,,,, what is it …… He helps Frank get used to having sex again after the accident? He’s one of his therapists idk it’s a really good story, read it.

Ship: Frank Iero/Mikey way

And the Painted Ponies - After years of struggling to be taken seriously as a bodyguard, Frank Iero is finally well established. He loves his boss, Ray, he loves his job, and he prides himself on his professionalism. But then he's assigned to be the personal bodyguard of Mikey Way.

Mikey Way, aka Roboboy, is a successful high fashion model. Loved by designers and the public alike for his trademark lack of emotion, but mocked by the tabloid press for the exact same reason. Mikey is someone that Frank's sure he'll hate. Except it doesn't work out that way.

In fact, it doesn't take long before Frank discovers he really likes Mikey. Maybe too much. 34k

Ship: Frank Iero/Mikey way

mutilate, maim and destroy (just a tad) - For clarification, this fic is about Gerard Way the actual person being tortured by Korse in the Killjoys universe. Like. Hnng, you'll see nevermind.

Ship: Gerard/Korse

Your Dirty Smile Shames the Sun - Pancakes, throat fucking, and a good book. It's kind of Mikey's idea of a perfect day. 6k

Ship: Mikey/Frank

london calling - Gerard feels like his life needs to change, so he moves to London. After years of hard work, he gets a book deal with a press that will finally allow him to write exactly the book he's always wanted to write. When he meets his new editor, Grant Morrison, he's surprised at how much they get along. 28k

Ship: Grant/Gerard

A Room Full Of Suicides - His jaw was clenched and his whole body quivering. He looked right at Korse with those huge, transparent eyes. “Do what you want to me. I don’t give a shit, Korse.” He drew in a breath that shook. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s about standing up for what you believe in.” God, the kid was adorable. Korse couldn’t wait to make him scream. 4

Ship: Korse/Party Poison, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (implied)

For a Different View - AU. Ray Toro is a girl, Rae, but MCR is still just MCR. 49k

The first time they went over to Mikey’s house, Mikey tossed her a beer and said, "My brother might come up. Maybe not, though. He gets weird in the middle of projects.” She found out what he meant halfway through Dawn of the Dead, when a bundle of black fabric barreled from the basement door to the refrigerator and back down to the basement without saying a word to either of them.

I need to finish this!!! But –gah. Such awesome awesomeness.

Ship: Ray/Mikey

From The Corner to The Block - A bike messenger AU. 4k

The comment I left: Oh my god. An AU I never knew I wanted but one I now cannot live without. That was incredibly cute!!

“What are you watching? Is that Degrassi?”

“No,” Frank says quickly, just as a voiceover blares, “Degrassi: The Next Generation will be right back,” because this is Frank’s life.

^ I’m pretty sure my laughter from that line woke up at least one person from my household. Poor Frank.

Ship: Frank/Mikey

Out Where The Sand's Turning To Gold - "Last call, last song," the singer says, touching a finger to the microphone and making it pop softly at the crowd. "For all you lovers out there." 5k

Ship: Gerard/Gabe

Superheroes (2-part series) - Mikey isn’t a superhero. 3k

Ship: Frank/Mikey

vampires will never hurt you - Contrary to what some people in Strahd might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot. Contrary to what Gerard and Frank might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot.

Ever since this whole thing started, ever since Gerard and Frank cornered him at the open mic event at his junior college shortly after he decided to go and open his big damn mouth about that picture he’d found in the History of Strahd book that was collecting dust in the back of the library, the picture in which both Gerard and Frank were clearly present, dressed in typical 19th century garb, giving their best vampire smolder--Yeah. Bert has known ever since then, and ever since they had told him how talented of a poet he was, and that they were interested in having him perform at the parties they host for all the town’s leaders up at their old mansion on the hill, that they have had some type of secret agenda as their endgame.

He just hadn’t really expected it to be this.

[this is what happens when i get tired of bert being the bad guy in mcr fic and decide i have to do EVERYTHING myself] 1k

Ship: Frank Iero/Bert McCracken/Gerard Way

Candy Cane Vodka - "Yeah, Mikey, you accidentally made fucking peppermint Everclear. Congratulations and all, but Jesus Christ."

Mikey gets an idea on the road after finding a bargain bin book on homemade infusions. Experimentation follows, and Yuletide chaos ensues. 

ngl... i’m tempted to make that vodka mixture

Ships: Mikey/Ray, Frank/Gerard

drive-by drabble - SO SHORT ALSO LMAO <1k

Ship: Frank/Gabe/Gerard