#this actually hurts my chest to read | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cubbyhole-for-flea-bee · 3 months ago

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Apologies

#shadowpeach #six eared macaque #sun wukong #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkey king #liu'er mihou #I just think it'd be neat if they apologized to each other and then cried and hugged about it #(cuz on god they both have some shit they should get off their chests and own up to)#like holy blue hells they're both just like “I think i shall spend my immortal life ruminating on my greatest regret and letting it fester”#everytime i watch the scene where Macaque is like:#“its good to talk about feelings! obv i don't do it”#i turn into the hands on hips guy meme #DUDE GO TO THERAPY #wukong too lets be real #been reading jttw the west (haven't actually gotten to where SEM shows up in the book yet tho)#and i think that if therapy existed back then tripitaka and sha wujing would've been gently but firmly #herding wukong into the local therapist's waiting room in as many towns they pass as possible #he'd probly grab the door frame and have to be literally pried off #these hypothetical ancient-chinese therapists all have claw marks on the hallways and doors going into their offices #hey how about an au where shadowpeach get therapists who end up getting all the monkey drama news first #and end up on the business-rivals-to-drinking-buddies pipeline #stopped while drawing this like “hey why'd i make mac be touching wukong's face in both sketches?”#and then i remembered that between the two mac's the one who wants to be something to the other #to the point of desperation #its like if they're both cats who got coned swk is the one who sits there miserably accepting his fate #while mac is that one video of the tuxedo cat shrieking and trying to paw it off #i'd read the hell out of a fic where they end up swapping attitudes about their dynamic #in canon wukong's the one who seems like he would like to never see mac again (at times) even tho he really regrets it and it hurts #like mac just gives up on trying to convince himself he can make swk see him as a significant part of his life again

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hepbaestus · 5 months ago

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:|

TW: covid mention/illness/coughing (nothing graphic or major)

#i fucking hate being ill #after getting covid 2 years ago. every time i get ill the cough stays so. much. longer. than it needs to #like that was my remaining symptom from covid and that shit lasted MONTHS #because it's now actually stopping me from hanging out with friends because i sound like I'm coughing up a fucking LUNG every time #and i wanna go see people and not have them worry about me being ill (which ik they'd do anyways but less so)#and it's slowly getting to the point where it's hurting my chest to cough because it's so often #i just hope it leaves soon because i want to go home next week for my brother's birthday and i don't want to be coughing the whole way #it also doesn't help that i was asthmatic as a kid/teen so my lungs prolly aren't the greatest anyways #just realised how ranty this is so if by chance you read all of this; i hope you're doing well :)

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hl-obsessed · 28 days ago

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#how fucking weird is everything #i went from being mostly ok and even reading a fic yesterday to not being able to sleep most of the night #then when i finally managed to sleep it was not at all peaceful and i felt absolutely fucking horrible all fucking day #like my chest hurt and i felt like throwing up and didn't now what is sense in anything #and went out to met my bf and we had totally broken humor today laughing (kinda chocked) at basically everything #and i even menaged to listen to song or two #an then i ride home with chest still right #but i went numb while making food (i'm actually want to eat in some rare moments)#and now this doesn't totally seems real again?????#and i'm reading fic????#and?????#wtf even???#how all this works #i'm so confused #anyway #had to get this out #shay rambles #some defensive mechanics inside of me probably #so i won't go completely nuts #or something

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jils-things · 1 month ago

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one day i would really like to draw irene and foo.ls gold together. in a very "i still love you" kinda way... unafraid of what he became. peak hunter x survivor ship btw 💚💚

#i realized i never actually read his wiki page before (perhaps he hurt me too much in game that i started to avoid him in other ways /j)#and reading it made me frown a lot :[[[ poor huni :[#no thirst comments here btw i will bonk you >:(#i didn't know he had such a bad lung disease :[ which explained the big hole in his chest :[ how bad is it in the mines huni :[#i do feel bad for him :[[[[ i mean of course i am that's my baby :[[#it turns out my hot take about his smile and arrogance is actually correct in his character description. see i told you i know him well #AHAEHFGFHDJEK #~ rambling

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pyrriax · 9 months ago

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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

#haunted ecosystem #this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3 #like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art #but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good #im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked #but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how #i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical #and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it #that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun #once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off #more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest #for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr #and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp #it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.

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uitzinnigmp3 · 6 months ago

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#man . i hadnt realised how long it had been since i cried like that . Ow #sorry for . being sad on main so often these past 2 days i just #the loneliness never fucking leaves huh . jesus . i understand the meaning of soulcrushing rn . my chest hurts #need to try to not get stuck in this feeling but my god it's so hard . it's so fucking hard . god i'm so lonely #and the worst thing is i'm actually not !!! i have wonderful friends both irl and online . god i love yall so fucking much #but man . high school fucked me up BADDDDD #what the fuck ever . im allowing myself 10 more minutes of this and then im gonna watch a funny youtube video and then im gonna write .#or go to sleep . at 9pm its fine #auhg . sorry if u read this far . im Alright i just . bad brain day #and the only way to get it out is to post it on here . rip #s.txt

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coffeeworldsasaki · 5 months ago

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Hey isn't it great how literally nothing is different after 40 years

#ISN'T IT GREAT HOW ITALY IS STILL THIS WAY IN 2024 ISN'T IT GREAT #next time i try to start 2 nonfiction books in a row that will make me want to set fire to someone can anyone hit me until i relent #i can't do this shit anymore i already literally feel sick and my chest hurts for the rage half the time my family speaks #i can't also subject myself to books that just make everything worse #I'm pretty sure that at some point all this rage will show up as even worse physical issues i really can't keep doing this #I'm double an idiot because i wanted to read a book about queer history for pride month and i had 3 choices and one of those seems actually #pretty chill? as much as gay people's lives could ever be last century at least #but nooo i want for the most rage inducing of them fuck me

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codenameregnar · 1 month ago

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Garashir song of all time imo

#like every line hits for them #garak wanting so badly to embody the optimism julian carries around in his chest at all times #acknowladging how theyve both been so hurt. and theyre both so strong for becoming who they had to be to survive it #julians willingness to read between the lines with garak. to trust the sentimate behind the lies. garak chosing to accept that he doesnt #need to be the person he was in the order anymore. that maybe julians right to not let go of compassion even in the face of ones own pain #his choosing happieness. once and for all. because of julian. for julian.#and god the wire! idk what they meant in the context of the actual song but I sure know how im reading it in this context #he just wants to be able to take away every bad thing thats ever happened to julian. take him back to cardassia. start over #and hed be willing to get hurt all over again. just for the chance they could be happy together. hed do it all over again for him #im just. this fucking song is about them cant change my mind.#i mean its all here #im losing my mind over it #regnarposting

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i-aint-nothin-but-a-nasty-dog · 1 year ago

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You don't realize how much research fic writing requires until you start having to look up EVERYTHING

#like. my chest literally hurts thinking about it #KUDOS TO EVERY FIC WRITER EVER #trying to have a single coherent thought has me scanning spn script after script because I cant stand to watch it rn #and i'm being reminded how much I actually don't like the show as much as I did #because now i'm mainly only interested in the characters not the story theyre from #reading these scripts has me going “what the hell” over and over

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mejomonster · 1 year ago

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Im trying to get More in Touch With My Emotions

And my Emotions have decided to signal i feel something, make my chest hurt/ache. And of course, if im doing something i dont like or thats hurting me like being a workaholic, making my back hurt more than usual

But like. Ive gone "okay chest u hurt, what are u feeling buddy? Feeling sad? Tired? Frustrated? Idk man ur pain is kinda vague here but im trying my best to acknowledge and listen to you buddy"

#rant #its also??? my chest is hurting more when i read non fiction medical self help books #so im assuming my emotions... want me to stop overworking on my health when im not working at work?#anyway i still havent pinpointed the many a chest ache emotions #maybe ive just been sad and frustrated for yeafs and im finally feeling it idk #and dont worry. it is just an emotional ache.#i have POTS i know what my heart in actual pain feels like. its not a health issue pain.#its just a chest ache from stress pain

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wutheringmights · 2 years ago

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not to be obsessed with my own writing and stuff but i was rereading a portion of ctb today and came across this one bit of dialogue i'd forgotten i had written that just made my heart stop

#not joking it actually hurt my chest to read it like how did i forget i wrote that???#me rambling #lu ctb

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smol-tired-binch-blog · 1 year ago

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Sometimes I think I must consume media wrong because I don't remember The Lottery by Shirley Jackson fucking me up

Like sure I read it and was like 'wait hang on, what- oh dear.' but I didn't have the 'Dude That Was So Fucked Up I Am Fundamentally Changed As A Person' experience everyone else apparently had

And that ain't a flex btw this ain't a "oh I can read the most fucked up stuff and feel NOTHING" kinda bullshit I just. Wasn't that deeply affected lmao

#but also i got a B in English Literature A Level so I must be doing somethin right lmao #smol speaks #im trying to think why it didnt really mess with me. it wasnt a 'shocking twist' it's Where The Story Went to me #then again i dont remember many specifics from when i was younger. hell i barely remember the last week. i do know we read it though #i dont remember what conclusions i reached or what we even discussed. however i CAN think of a story that did affect me as a kid:#Lola Rose by Jacqueline Wilson. I read it in primary school and have reread it multiple times. i felt such a connection with Lola Rose #she was so similar to me even though we also had differences (her fear and hatred of sharks vs my love of them) (though her fear made sense #i dont think ive ever empathized with a character so much. and that book introduced me to the concept of abusive parents i think.#the idea of a parent who didnt simply love you but sometimes went about it wrong or made mistakes. but one who *actively* hurt their family #rereading that book again as an adult is heartbreaking ESPECIALLY the 'Voice of Doom' sections which *holy fuck i relate to*. there's such #dread and fear in that book but luckily there is hope and joy!! but God above the shit that girl deals with. anyway maybe reading a story #about a weird festival that ends with a stoning doesnt hit as hard when youve read about a girl seeing the bruises on her mother's chest #in the bath and having to tell her 5 year old brother they ran away from Dad because he hurt Mum and his response is 'but she deserves it'#abuse mention #better tag that huh. yeah sorry i put half the post in the tags again GOD i should make an actual Lola Rose post

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manwithoutaspleen · 2 years ago

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had two days off in a row so now i have the energy to be dysphoric again lmao

#lol #its not that i care about passing bc i want to look/read as cis i just really dont want to be misgendered anymore #but i cant bind bc it makes my chest hurt so bad so like. i am not going to pass until i get top surgery #and god knows when thats gonna be #anyway i dont think i mentioned it on here but im a nonbinary man now/actually/whatever #idk about sexuality i cant unpack that rn im just going w the flow lmao #but yeah genders been weird #and a little frustrating #i love being on t and im grateful for all the changes but i just wish i could wake up tomorrow different

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a-lonely-bard · 1 year ago

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Janus and pretty much any one else-