#thinking too hard about mean girls….
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earth prison panopticon
lyrics
havin fun imagining like, album covers for these utena songs
anyway heres the dick tower
#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#shoujo kakumei utena#sku#not tagging characters#lol#dont think too hard about the perspective#its all a metaphooooooor totally#lovisas art#yes its a prison yes its a birdcage yes its platos cave#the charaters picked have no higher meaning than filling up the correct amount of slots#just went w the most prominent ones
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actually the most puzzling thing to me about cobra kai is that robby is still mad at miguel somehow even though he’s the one who put him in a literal coma. if i accidentally hurt someone that severely, i would simply not give a shit if they started dating my ex because really leaving them the fuck alone is the least he could do to make amends. his victim complex is too strong though
#i mean he does have a shitty life but he doesn’t have to resent miguel for having a slightly less shitty life lol#i go back and forth on my opinion about robby as a character because this grudge drama annoys me#and i feel like the writers fucked up what i liked about his character in the first place#but ultimately i like him and think his main character arc is interesting#i just don’t like sam or sam related drama i think. very much on tory’s side except for the excessive violence lol#i liked sam at first but i think she very much is the rich popular girl convinced her worldview is 100% infallible#and she keeps trying to prove that she’s not and she’s Tough and Cool but i don’t buy it she’s trying way too hard lol#i like her and miguel together though actually! they seem really compatible and like they actually like each other lol#i never bought her and robby together they had no chemistry. felt like robby just thought that was what he should want?#i think that boy is gay i really do#i think robby and tory are both gay and neither have figured it out yet and they have experienced so little compassion from others#in their lives that they don’t recognize the difference between platonic and romantic love#also aisha is gay hawk is bi demetri is bi moon is (canonically!) bi#miguel is bi sam is straight though sorry#anyway#second most puzzling thing is hawk’s whole look lol#i inexplicably like the kid so i’ve accepted it but i am not mourning the death of the mohawk (even under shitty circumstances)#okay that’s enough cobra kai posting for one day lol#cobra kai
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i just. had a very silly bnha au idea
#what if midoriya izuku was actually shimura tenko#and shigaraki tomura was shimura hana#not au where shigaraki is a chick to be very clear#au where shigaraki realized he was trans after getting adopted by afo but before repressing everything#so afo was like well damn that's convenient and fucked around with shiggy's brain#which is what caused him to repress everything bc afo accidentally made his semi-fake backstory TOO dramatic#like. comic book level over-the-top complicatedness#hisashi isn't even real he's just a placeholder so izuku and inko don't think too hard about why something's not quite right#anyway shigaraki runs into midoriya at the mall and is hit with the uncontrollable urge to be mean to him#leftover older sibling instinct#trying to figure out what actually happened gives everyone a headache#which was totally afo's plan all along guys he didn't just massively screw up and then pathetically try to cover his tracks#haha that'd be silly#recovery girl: midoriya we just got your blood test back. apparently you're shigaraki tomura?#midoriya: i'm. pretty sure i'm not. for so very many reasons#to be fair shigaraki tomura is also not shigaraki tomura#but he doesn't know that so it's fine#inko: *sees her son suddenly grow a new quirk* *too conditioned by afo's mindfuckery to really think about it much* ok#midoriya: *gets a new quirk* for some reason i'm now really scared of getting too attached to a dog? not sure what that's about#bnha#bnha au
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Vani’s inexplicable draw to Noé 😩
#how it’s because he’s so genuinely good#and so genuinely sure of the goodness in others#and how that translates to Vani himself#I’m thinking about the scenes where Vani was successful in making Noé hate him#or think the worst of him#and how his eyes would lose their shine but he never looked surprised#and how everytime Noé’s tune changed with the realization of Vani’s intentions or his lack of choice in a hard situation#ie that scene at the ball where he couldn’t save that girl#the light returned but he still wasn’t happy tho he WAS surprised#and how that surprise becomes appreciation and then become despair (in their fight against each other)#because that means Vani’s in too deep with Noé#I’m just#FEELING ALL THE THINGS#Noé having faith in the good of people and Vani having a tentative faith Noé tho#thats#I just#😩#Vanitas no carte#vanoé#Vanitas#noé archiviste#vnc
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idk if im explaining this right but sometimes i feel like the only queer person on this site that doesn't want to look queer
#personal#i am scared of looking queer. i am scared of not only cishets but also other queer people clocking me. i am scared of cishets looking at me#and realizing specifically that i am not cis. i am also scared of queer people realizing this bc it means i am not as good as hiding#as i want to be.#once and awhile i remember the time someone told me i had ''they/them'' vibes and i makes me not want to#go out in public#because if they could figure out i'm trans (even if they got the pronouns wrong) who else will?#and then i think again about the time someone screamed in my face ''you will always be a girl'' just because he thought i was#a bit too masc#and i think. i do not want to look queer. and it is not because i am not proud#it is because i am not safe#and god do i wish people understood the difference#(i also wish people understood that sometimes it's hard to be proud. even if you want to.)
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somewhat recently found out that my habit of clinging to a trusted extroverted/outgoing friend like an orphaned duckling in social situations is straightup a trait of autistic masking and stuff has been making A LOT of sense since then
#eliot posts#like???#i can track all of my high school friends back to one girl that took me under her wing and i clung to and befriended her friends#all of my *close* online friends can be traced back to my one cousin who i have been good friends with since we were young#and sometimes i meet someone else to cling to from the original person#in high school the baton got passed from that girl to a guy i still consider to be one of my besties#and w my online friends i no longer cling to one person specifically but that's more just how online group chats are set up#but god like. i have NO close friends in college#i have acquaintances#and ppl have told me i seem friendly and kind and approachable and i have learned so many scripts for polite small talk#but i don't know what to do after that part!#and then like online i don't have close friends outside of one or two branching circles#i have some mutuals on here that i think we're maybe friends but i'm not sure and it doesn't feel like CLOSE close friendship?#like no one i feel comfortable approaching out of nowhere and talking about my day to#i don't understand how so many people talk about having made close friendships through fandom#it seems cool i just. ?????????#and on that note i have no clue when to consider people friends! if it's too soon i come off as clingy if it's too late i come off as mean#and what social actions are appropriate to initiate at what levels of friendship???#why is socialization so fucking hard???#it's SLIGHTLY easier w other autistics but even then it is fucking DIFFICULT#though that's all moot cuz i can barely convince my shitbrain to message the friends i DO have#but like ugh i wish i could make some irl friends SO BAD#to go out and do shit with#i mean i do a lot of typically 'social' activities alone and have a blast not having to deal with anyone else#but some shit you just kinda need someone else there to have fun
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"Trying to be strong and tough"
It's not something I ever thought about but now that I had a full day to process the video, it oddly makes sense why the line "trying to be strong and tough" fits Remus.
I remembered that in the imaginary situation that we associate with the Sides, Roman (Creativity) would be the Theater Kid. But now I imagine with the Theater Kid trope comes bullying (or just not understanding of Thomas' passion for theater), so that births (Č̷̼͉̚ṛ̴̪̃e̶̩̰͐͒a̴͈̭̿͂t̵̩̔͑í̴̺̖͂v̵̰̫͒̊i̵̼͐͛t̴̞̄͒ỷ̶̥̩̃,) Remus, the twisted, more "Strong and Tough" Creativity to protect the original Creativity.
Basically what this shot has shown me is that where Roman's the older Theater Kid brother, Remus is the younger Jock brother, famously with "a few screws lose", but when push comes to shove, is there to protect his older brother.
I dunno, man. Just something I thought I'd share.
#thomas sanders#trying too hard#sanders side#trying too hard cover#man i haven't thought about sanders sides thought like these in a WHILE#but now that i think about it#with all the build up for what i now like to call#the fall of rome#haha i'm clever#roman's eventual fall i mean#i think it would be a missed opportunity to show remus' caring side#because in the end that's what they all do#the sides care in their own ways#i'd be interested to see what remus is other than intrusive thoughts#because the rest aren't as singular and one-dimensional#so even i think that the crazy rat-trash duke#has something else in him#bb speaks#a girl can dream i suppose#it doesn't all have to be three dimensional characters haha#but i wouldn't say no to more character plot like that
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can you imagine tweeting this after your parents paid for your undergrad at upenn (& before that, paid 40k+ per year for your tuition at boarding school as a teenager in nyc) be honest
#why are you so pressed some people are getting 10k forgiven#so many ppl will still have crippling student loan debt that will prevent them from living fulfilling lives 🫶🏻 cheer up megan!#i can’t even imagine…if my parents had paid for my education and i was still this bitter like…#‘i took out 100k for business school because my parents didn’t want to pay anymore’ someone get me my tiny violin#just say you hate poor people and think education isn’t a human right and gtfo!#tbh reads like ‘i was able to follow my dreams and become a journalist and survive making 40k a year because my parents bankrolled me’#be happy you’re privileged enough to do something ur passionate about and stfu like STFU!!!#just be happy with what you have. why is that so hard for this person#‘it’s because i know it can be done’ ok??? lots of things can be done! doesn’t mean they should be!#student loans#twitter#this girl has definitely wrote a stupid AF anti abortion piece too i swear i read it
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gyuri leaving fromis 9 is sad, but of all the ways for a member to leave a group, this is really the best possible one. she's leaving to follow other passions, after being with fromis for a long time through a lot of hardships. this is better than a scandal in every possible way. like, she's not leaving because she did anything wrong, or because the company did... she's leaving because she feels it's the right thing for her to do.
and the company is supporting that! imagine if you were an idol but you really wanted to quit, for whatever reason, and your company DIDNT let you? that would be awful! so really, this is a very good thing. it's sad, but it's good. you know?
so seriously, i wish her the best. she’s been with fromis from the beginning, to when they had a year-and-a-half long hiatus, to when they finally were successful and now regularly achieve at least a few music show wins during every promotion. the only time she was absent from fromis before now was when she was competing on produce 48, and like i’m not totally sure exactly why she did that, but the reason she stated on the show was that she felt like she needed to improve faster in order to keep up with her members (im sure part of the reason was her company wanting to promote fromis via her appearance on the show, too. which is kinda iffy, but gyuri suffered through that like a champ. she did so much for fromis). i think she’s earned this departure. she didnt leave when things got tough, she’s leaving when things finally seem stable, and she feels like it’s the right time to pursue this other passion of hers (i’m assuming she’s gonna be focusing on acting).
and so... yeah. i guess my point is just that like... as far as departures go... this is like the ideal way to do it. a few groups i really like have lost members recently, and each situation is very very very different from the others, but this one is the only one where i’m like “dang... but good for her though <3″
#with garam it was like ''wow none of this shit should have happened. why wasnt this dealt with BEFORE she debuted#how did soumu fuck up this hard????''#and with jiyoon it was like ''wow... i feel so incredibly bad for her... i hope she'll be okay... take care jiyoon ily''#two very different situations of course#and im not comparing them! i'm contrasting them#and gyuri's departure is especially different because there's nothing directly negative (afaik)#there's no scandal and it's not a mental health thing (again... as far as we know)#so it's easier for me to process this one#then again im not a gyuri bias and it would probably be harder if i was. i was/am a jiyoon bias so that made that even harder#did other groups lose people recently? uhhhhh a few i think.... someone left ichillin but i dont know any of the members#i just heard about that. jiho left oh my girl as well but i dont really stan them and also theyre a veteran girl group#so its not that big of a deal all things considered. like same with apink#when members start leaving groups 7+ years into their career... that means that the group has made it and been super successful#so i think thats fine. gyuri's situation is similar though obviously fromis isnt quite at that veteran status yet#im a little worried that chuu is going to leave loona. it is seeming like that might happen. it'll be a bit similar to gyuri#because she will probably focus on her content that is already very popular but... it'll be very different from gyuri too#because if it happens... it will 100000% be bbc's fault. no question. unambiguously. i hope that doesnt happen#thoughts tag#long post
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Willow & Amity's subplot may involve Hunter; who in question will not only serve as the objective mission of an ol' fashion search & rescue, but he'll also be the initial topic of discussion in which brings up the untested waters of Willow and Amity's current relationship where the latter will bicker with the bespectacled girl over why they're helping someone who threatened Luz's safety back in Eclipse Lake, to which is met by foreign hostility from Willow who curtly responds in kind.
Willow and Amity arguing over Mr White Boy Wednesday
#no but honestly i dont think theres going to be that much animosity between the girls in this episode#maybe some awkwardness#but willow now sporting the new hair amity did for her says a lot about the current state of their relationship#both are genuinely making the effort to put the past behind them#that doesnt mean their story is concluded yet but its going in a positive direction#i think they might disagree over hunter. just a little#its been shown that luz updates her friends on all her adventures. not only does willow know about the mindscape but amity does too#and i feel like though she may have had a hostile opinion about him before she will truly sympathize#amity comes from an abusive household herself after all#BUT sympathizing does not mean throwing caution to the wind entirely#as far as amity is aware hunter has chronic backstabbing disorder#so like. she wants to help him but shes still not going to let her guard down#this is in stark contrast to willow who trusts hunter wholeheartedly making amity a little nervous#because like. she loves willow and she is trying so hard to make amends for everything shes done to her old best friend#and she really REALLY doesnt want to see her get hurt#but because she doesnt WANT to argue with her after everything she tries to approach her reservations in a gentle manner#this MIGHT lead to a bit of a conflict. maybe. like willow wondering if amity doesnt think shes smart enough to trust her own judgement#idk. maybe. obviously i know this stuff probably wont happen in the ep. just thinkin it would be interesting
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Because I can't stop thinking about it-
The amount of bi+ representation I'm getting in the shows I've been watching recently is too much for my little heart to handle 😭
#Bad buddyyyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️#The player- I think the script is quite shit tbh ('dad is it true that bi people are more likely to cheat?' 🤮 who tf would ask that then?)#And the main guy in question is a shitty dude but this show is being SO clear and drawing hard lines and not taking any nonsense about or#Against bi people P'Jo thank you so much 😭😭🙏🙏#Friend zone - I'm skimming it but omg s2 is so much better than s1 surprisingly 😂 I know the girl refers to herself as lesbian now but#We've seen her in relationships with men too. Tbh their whole story/script seems rushed to me (I mean she was les-phobic at first) to the#Point that I don't really believe it unlike the other stories in this show (that feeling of the writer forgetting that bisexuality exists)#-_- but whatever it's there. And she's also ace and her girlfriend is totally loving and accepting and they have a healthy sweet and#Supportive relationship😍 but I do agree with some ppls feelings that it's so rare to see good realistic touchy-feely representation of wlw#Relationships that I wish they could have made one of the other characters asexual. Heck there's so many gay dudes there at least one of#Them doesn't have to be so focused on sex 😂#Also I rewatched make it right the other week - 😭😭 I totally forgot frame makes it so clear from the beginning!!! Baby ohm thank you for#Being my bi messenger/representative/pioneer 😭😭😭#Have had some difficult discussions about bi erasure recently 😔#You have to realize - growing up I pretty much had no bi rep in any media I consumed (I can't even think of one? Okay I can think of only#One but she was a walking stereotype for lesbian viewers to make fun of) I could only rely on (shitty) BL and shitty GL for some form of#Support. Even though it's taken so long (and apart from bad buddy none of these shows are perfect) it makes me so happy 😭😭😭#P'Aof and P'Jo are the best thank you so much 😭😭😭😭❤️#Aaaand with all this I can't help but go back to thinking about 3 will be free 😭😭😭 (I mean Joss and Tay in the player 😂😂) but#Joss in 3 will be free is the best man!!! 😭😭😭#Of course it's directed by P'Jojo 🥲🥲🥲#'I won't let the past hurt me' 3 will be free is the best ❤️#Of all these shows I can only recommend bad buddy and 3 will be free with no additional explanation 😂😂#*I meant to say shitty yuri. GL didn't exist back in my day
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at work the patient that got angry at me has apparently been telling everyone not to let me look after... and she’s out there name dropping me to literally everyone she encounters... it feels like shit because all of this is happening simply because of her misunderstanding me
#literally did nothing wrong#and i have someone out there bad mouthing me to everyone in the entire hospital.....#it’s really bothering me because i’m not that kind of person that she’s describing#to everyone#she completely misunderstood me#i don’t go around making fun of people or whatever she thinks i do#im a shy person with a lot of social anxiety and hearing from other people#that this patient is saying this and that about me#is hard to accept#the patient really thinks im some mean girl or something#it’s just really bothering me#because now everyone she’s talked to knows about a version of me#that’s not at all close to how irl really am#but they probably heard what she said about me#and likely came to the conclusion that im not a nice person#i wear a name badge at work too so everyone knows who i am#hhhhhh#i am a nice person i promise#🌙.txt
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Being told 'you don't seem/act/look ____' is honestly the worst backhanded 'compliment' lol
#miranda talking shit#I often hear i dont seem autistic ... Or deppressed ... Etc#'oh youre so fun and joke a lot i never thought you were autistic/deppressed (:'#Like i didnt develop this role to blend in with people since first grade sjfjsjajsnfjfj#I always hesitate to even mention i am autistic bc I've been told this by like 90% of people#It feels so weird to be told and its like what should i answer to that? Thanks?#Im glad that you cant tell how hard it is for me to live ?#Honestly the few good responses are the ones that have been like... Okay. Im not too informed about that could you explain how it is for u?#I mean im fairly sure majority of people who arent read up on autism especially and/or know people who have it... Know much except the#'stereotype' stuff. Like oh youre stoic/emotionless and am obsessed with something niche#I guess people are too scared to actually ask stuff and they feel awkward. But my friend who actually asked things were the best#Said they werent informed and then asked me what it means for me and in general#I mean autism is still very much 'known' from the male perspective. Girls generally mask a lot and mimic to blend in so harder to diagnose#But ugh yeah nah i just .... I know people dont mean it in a mean way or even think about how it sounds but#Autism tag
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I love that Yellowstone had their 2-part season premiere this past weekend, and since then I've gotten a bunch of notes on my gifsets going, "WHERE IS ANGELA?! BRING BACK ANGELA BLUE THUNDER, YOU COWARDS! BOOOOOO!!! 📢📢📢"
Like... it's really admirable energy... but uhhhh I don't think she's back this year 😔 sorry kings & queens. Q'orianka Kilcher's made no posts or IG stories about going back to Montana, no makeup chair selfies, and done ZERO promo on socials at all for this season, even to follow up the premiere or hint at a reappearance. And she's not listed on her own or Yellowstone's IMDB as doing the role again for any episodes this season.
Full disclosure, I don't know if this is a vaccine issue; now that they're fully FDA approved even beyond emergency use, and can therefore be a more legitimately enforced factor in hiring & workplace safety practices, a lot of actors who skated by unvaccinated in 2020 through the bulk of '21 are having a weird time of it & (rightfully) losing gigs. Only very rich actors or people locked into tall superhero-movie-money casts can get away with that shit, but for normal actors in normal roles, especially supporting & guest characters? That's a damn near uninsurable liability that can potentially derail an entire production by exposing the rest of the cast & crew to infection, especially if people aren't paying everybody to self isolate in a bubble with only each other for the full production run + two weeks before & after. You are expendable in that regard... so tbh that's my personal prevailing theory.
It's also possible the writing team just went another direction, or plan to bring Angela in for a different season, or as a surprise later on during this one (though... with no social media promo... that's very unlikely).
But yeahhhhhh uh tl;dr: I'll make more .gifs if & when Angela DOES show up again in Jellystone, but... don't hold your breath.
#i tend to forget this because... most actors are not especially bright tbh so i try not to think about it when they're stupid#but old girl is definitely antivaxx ... she hasn't posted anything i've seen about covid but YEARS ago she said some WILD like#ANTI POLIO VACCINE LEVEL wild audacious antivaxxness#and i mean. she grew up homeschooled & occasionally homeless raised by hippies & busking as a CHILD to feed the whole fam.#so it's hard to judge too harshly (esp again accounting for child actor factor) because YUP that ALL tracks#but it truly is like 😬 hate to break it to y'all but miss thing is probably just a lil bit unemployed!#and atp if i'm right it's well deserved! i like her work & all but i can't even be mad if she made HERSELF unhireable IN A PANDEMIC yk?#people blocking their own blessings! you hate to see it! oh well though lmao#.#..#...#yellowstone tv#angela blue thunder#q'orianka kilcher
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If shit doesn't work out for me I'm literally going to wonder what all this was for
#im so broke and im taking a huge risk tryna start my own business but what if i fail#I keep tryna talk about my feelings to people but they all act like im crazy for being terrified#as if throwing most of their savings into a salon that has no guarantee to succeed is a normal tuesday for them#and if i do fail. well what do i do then. im too prideful to crawl back to my old job.#do i just rent a chair and try again? go back to a different commission salon? give up altogether and try a regular job with no experience?#what if I lose everything I've worked so hard to get?#what if I'm Icarus? so full of ambition and hubris that i dont notice how fragile my wings truly are?#are they melting even now? have I dug myself into a hole so deep that it threatens to cave in on me any moment now?#is this a normal fear one should experience before a big risk or is it my gut giving me one last warning out of pity#there's a painful anxiety deep in the pit of my stomach and it feels like it's going to claw its way out of me#I wanna be confident and excited but all I can think of is that I'm in over my head and my ambition is going to come back to bite me#has everyone in my position felt this way?#you cant even fucking ask anybody cuz if you do they'll tell you no either way#'girl whaaaat no way I was sooo excited and ready for this change I couldnt contain myself!!'#oh same but uhhh couldn't contain myself meaning I keep bursting into tears thinking about how if I fail my life will be over#and sure. maybe it won't be. but the disappointment would eat me whole. knowing everyone who wanted me to fail got their wish.#i dont wanna be a girlboss I just wanna have the freedom to live my life while im young. but am I asking for too much?#please. let this work. let me succeed. I don't need to be a millionaire. just financially stable.#if I could afford the occasional trip. doesnt even have to be out of the country. if I can afford a nice meal every now and then.#if I can afford health insurance and have enough rest that my body doesnt disintegrate by the time i turn 30. I'll take it.#I've put so much into this. failure would be so so bitter.
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i know this is probably like such a dramatic way of thinking about stuff like this maybe but the whole ‘‘are you trans or not’‘ feels so restrictive to me personally sometimes EVEN THO I KNOW that like “trans” means “doesn’t 100% ID w/ agab” so it can like apply to so many different people but like i 200% id w/ my birth gender and also every other gender aka The Genderfluidity Of It All like i got the 9000% gender power all the time anyways will we ever break free from ‘‘one or the other’‘ questions like ever bro i am literally just sitting here. cis trans fuggettaboutit... have a Dr. Pepper or somefing...
#it's like the are u the she/they vs he/they nonbinary meme trend thing. like what are you asking here. it's not ur business tbh honey#like i can't control what ppl think of me or view me as especially since gender is So Personal like i know ppl won't be able to get that#whole understanding of it bcuz it changes on me too !! but i've learned to go w/ the flow of it & y'know they're not me so they can't see or#feel anything that i'm feeling and adjust appropriately#and that's okay and good it just makes me want to never tell anyone anything concrete about my gender bcuz i will become That in their mind#and don't even get me started on how race affects this. like yes i feel all of these weird gender feelings & it's confusing but Know This#i will always be a woman of color. like always. i'll always be a weird mixed girl deep down & that'll never change#that's the one concrete gender info you'll get out of me okay. if u call me a cis girl for that i get to body slam you into a sinkhole#*grabbing you by the shoulders so hard*. like y'know what i mean teehee#venty#LMAO? i guess. there is just so much. i was supposed to get ready for bed an hour ago bye bye goodnight#bitches want me carnally bcuz of my inconsistent multigender girl swag
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