#thinking abt how its not fair
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i miss boxing
#sorry vent movement 🏃#thinking abt how nothings felt right since graduating high school but it feels even less right since quitting boxing last year#thinking abt how there was a 60ish yr old woman still kickboxing at my old gym and i planned on being like her#and doing kickboxing/boxing for the rest of my life as long as possible#but ‘as long as possible’ turned out to be like. 7 years.#and how that was supposed to be a constant. and it was a pillar of my identity and self image#but then my knuckle started hurting when i punched and then it started hurting when i did anything at all#thinking abt how its not fair#not fair that theres nothing diagnosibly wrong w my knuckles that i could fix theyre just ruined for some reason#thinking abt how i could try harder to fix my knuckles but i quit bc im scared to irreparably damage my right hand#bc i need that for like. any livelihood or joy in my life. haha#thinking abt how my family kinda makes me feel guilty for not trying harder and maybe i quit too easily#but also i thought quitting while im ahead to protect my hands was a smart move but everyone makes me feel like i just gave up on it#and ig i did literally give up but i wish it didnt feel so WEAK#thinking abt how its not fair and its not fair and its not fair#x
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Dogstock are typical of what are often deemed the ‘evil’ races in many other fantasy works. They were created by some higher force to be slaves, they are carnivorous by nature, they resemble animals other than human in dentition and build. They growl and bite and walk behind.
The Uhasr (a dogstock culture) are descendants of such slave-infantry that was abandoned when the empire that used them to capture the steppes decided the land wasn’t so profitable after all, and more pressing matters drew their attention elsewhere. Like tools left spent on the ground, the unneeded, excess dogstock were left to survive on their own in Hochkiskuph. The native peoples, of course, did not welcome them any more, or see them any less as oppressors when the hand released the lead. To the Hochkiskuph peoples, the Uhasr are a predatory ghost, an echo that consumes them even in absentia. To the Uhasr, one human is much like another, differing in number and equipment, but never in essence. Uhasr are a species of wild animal with a human face. Humans are prey on two legs. Humans smoke and poison uncovered dens on principle, Uhasr abduct and consume men and women and children all the same.
A common trend I have noticed in media which aims to humanize monsters, is that it often relies on passivity. Humanity is contingent upon kindness. The monster that is A Person only so long as they are a harmless thing at heart, something which can be understood and befriended. Their violence is reluctant, their hearts noble. Grace is a concession to the dominated. Only the toothless beast, declawed and pinioned and caged, is one which has earned its personhood. The ontological enemy supersedes the ontological man.
#haven't posted them much (all wips) but been thinking about the sphinxish people in my setting. same world as thrones#different part of the continent like 2 whole seas away#this is inspired by a shitty comic a friend is reading and also thinking some of the writing in the long way to a small angry planet re#hostile aliens really really sucked.#i want to talk abt this more so im posting it if you have thoughts i would like to hear themmmmm#i'm very cynical about this kind of stuff lmao#dogstock#im also reading tollkien rn so im thinking about ORCS#i dont actually like the lotr trilogy all that much but not even bc i think the writing is bad i just think its kinda boring. sorry.#thats not a very interesting reason to not like something i dont even think its not good im just not super entertained. rip#like not saying there is no issue with it at all writing wise there is very much to say abt how it is utterly and uncritically#white good black bad fair elves and dark orcs and shit like that#but i've liked things more that have bigger issues. hi pern. maybe i just like shlock! idk!#rambling. im keyed up hi#the gibberish in spookygibberish
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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wooooooow naruto thanked him :) maybe naruto doesn't hate him. maybe.
maybe theyre even.
😳 friends
#my art#naruto#sai#sai yamanaka#naruto uzumaki#hbd sai#this is abt shippuden ep 197 or 198#this moment means a lot to me as a fan of sai bc its kind of the first time that naruto extends sai an olive branch or like.#even implies he likes having sai around#and it happens right after sai stopped the cloud nin from beating naruto 2 death 4 real#and then got really frustrated at naruto for continuing 2 protect sasuke despite how much sasuke was hurting naruto and sakura#and naruto told sai to shut up LMFAO#but like immediately after that despite sai insisting that sakura would be better at managing the wounds naruto has sai do it#and thanks him#and maybe naruto was just thinking about how mad sakura would get or something else#but u can tell it really meant a lot to sai...and the episodes after this he gets a little obsessed w/ making sure naruto is okay#u can tell the whole time hes thinking ''sasuke is a Fucking idiot. if naruto and sakura cared abt me half as much as they care about him-'#''-i would never betray them. i would never hurt them like that.'' hes like so jealous of sasuke#to be fair to sasuke. sai would have no way to comprehend the loss of the uchiha clan massacre or itachis torments but like#ough. these episodes r great for sai fans. hes trying his best and he Does Not Know What Hes Doing#this isnt intended as shippy (very little of my stuff is. as always) but just sai being Intense abt his first real friendship#i think he's obsessed with naruto because naruto is so...up front. he doesn't often give fake smiles#and when he does hes not doing it to be polite but to avoid hurting other people. i think sai is drawn to him like a moth to a flame
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the girlbossification of ruth bader ginsburg has to be one of the most just plain annoying aspects of white liberal feminism. like it's not as actively harmful as a lot of other shit obviously. but it is soooooo annoying. if I never see another notorious rbg tote bag as long as I live it will be too soon
#her opinions and amicus' in many cases were iconic! not denying that certainly. she is absolutely AMONG the better justices in us history#HOWEVER her record on policing/the carceral system is very bad! genuinely bad!#and she just would not hold the conservative justices accountable. her and kagan are way too placating#and then she refused to retire in 2009 when there was a sitting democratic president and a fucking DEMOCRATIC SUPER MAJORITY#saying basically that no one else could do the job as well as her which is insane because sotomayor and KBJ literally are better :/#its also unbelievably conceited and just incredibly fucking selfish to knowingly doom the country because you think youre hot shit#started ranting abt this at work bc literally any talk even adjacent to the supreme court will set me off abt all of us court history#and my coworker was like 'well i dont think its very fair that she had to have that much riding on her decision to retire'#it literally is fair because that is the fucking job that she signed up for. this has literally always been how it fucking works#its a lifetime appointment. you either die unexpectedly or retire strategically#she accepted a position in which the entire country would depend on her but its not fair for the entire country to depend on her???#bullshit#im not fucking buying it. she did this knowing roe would likely be struck down as a result#she should absolutely be held accountable for that lmfao. you can know that she had a hand in a lot of great decisions for this country#while also knowing that she did a fucked up and extremely selfish thing
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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I will forever maintain that Jason would've been fine and Not a vigilante without Bruce making him Robin
#''bruce never recruited any kids for his mission/war'' falls apart immediately when u consider jason's backstory im ngl#jason todd#my dc posting#his whole character to me is breaking the conventions of the medium#batman#like i hate how ppl treat others like theyre ridiculous when they even dare to critique bruce in any way#i am capable of suspending my disbelief and accepting some things in fiction as okay even if they wouldnt be irl#its the viewers responsibility to meet stories whre theyre at#but its also the story's responsibility to upkeep that yknow?#''child/teen sidekicks are okay n not morally dubious'' okay :D yay :3#then one of them gets brutally murdered by a villain and im like. yeah uhh no. cant do that anymore 👍sorry#''they all became vigilantes on their own bruce couldnt have stopped them'' yall under the impression bruce hates kid heroes n wants them#properly safe n is just doing damage control/harm prevention#when hes more the lines of encouraging them#difference between ''i cant stop u from doing this so ill make it as safe as i can'' and#''im actively going to encourage you to do this dangerous thing''#i have many opinions n im ngl theyre constantly shifting n they depend on a lot#im not gonna hate on lego batman for robin thats a goddamn childrens movie who tf gives a shit#comics are fair game tho. have u seen what gows on in there.#bruce couldve stopped jason from being a vigilante n instead encouraged him is the hill i will fucking die on#the victim blaming of jason has Got to stoppp its the worst thing ever#also just to remind everyone. ''a good soldier''.#wow a character blames themselves for the death of their child and to torture themselves they put the words 'good soldier' on their memorial#anyway if you even dare to think abt the implications ure stupid n#like do u hear urself whattt
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Guy whose fave character is jiraiya: Jiraiya is the father figure iruka never was
Me, giving aggressive thumbs down: HOW???? WHAT???? WHAT THE FUCK R U TALKING ABOUT?????? JIRAIYA IS THE FUCKING WORST!!!!
Him: Cite your evidence!
Me: WHERE THE FUCK DO I BEGIN???
#to b fair hes been watching since age 10 so like ya kno#but i was fucking explaining y hes awful and a female phd student was like: ok im getting the picture im forming some judgments#and she was on my side. idk do guys just not register how fucked up he is??? i dont understand#and i will not tolerate iruka slander. he thinks boruto is good tho. so like i cant hate too much#god. its been a fucking day. and i forgot to take my meds. but whatever i fucking made it to the party#i was half an hour late bc i had to spend a lot of time hysterically crying but ya kno whatever#unrelated#naruto ramblings#god i kno its inherent to the grouping but what a bunch of fucking nerds. doing crosswords and talking abt Biology and anime. fucking nerds#but i like my phd cohort. i think ill have some friends over these 5 years#the burdon of having watched naruto the 1st time as an adult with a working brain
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once again another repost from my twt
bc i keep doing that for some reason. anyways some radar thoughts 2nite he is normal and has no problems
#i also didnt mention this but another thing i wanted to mention abt me seeing radar as autistic is i skimmed through the transcripts#and him being incredibly close to lluna and defending her like “don't hurt her feelings!” if you take her and leave nurm#bc jack takes it out on lluna and radars like Do not.#just think its an interesting moment of characterization. dont blame jack for that either though his villager husband is in a cage but also#like its just interesting to see how some of these characters tick. idk#another thing:#could you imagine if mcsm had multiple endnigs like aitsf/ze. god#ok but to my original point: a lot of characterizations of him arent like. wrong. tjhis isnt me being like wow im better than everyone else#its technically right. and is fair and valid#as long as youre not being weird and infantalizing abt it#but im just noticing how funny the contrast is. the radar in my head is so different i need to conjure up the will to draw how i see him#its not rly too diff from how most ppl do its just i lean into his issues and flaws and trauma a bit more#if anyone wants me to elaborate a bit more on that last part i can (not Much more that i didnt say but just like. yeah) but this is a lot o#tags already so im gonna stop it here#mcsm#minecraft story mode#mcsm radar#radar mcsm#trevor.txt
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i can imagine you are quite busy and overall try to read everything more deeply, but still, it would be really really cool to dig your nails into umineko. reading umineko really highlighted orv's strong points, i can't wait to reread it. it's like two complementary pieces with them both deeply analysing the author and reader's relationship.
augh i read like 75% of umineko a couple of years ago and stopped for some reason! i think I was overwhelmed by the metaphysics of the story... but ive actually been considering giving it a reread! there are parts of it that have stuck with me a lot over the years and im a much more experienced reader now than i was then
#narrates#i read SUPER slowly now but i feel im better at digesting info. which means umineko may take me years to get thru#but i think a lot abt its depiction of an abusive wealthy family and in particular about rosa's character#she's a really fantastically done portrait of an abusive parent who came from an abusive background#i mean all of them are lol. but rosas writing depicted a lot of aspects of the abuse cycle in a way a lot of things don't manage to do#so I think about her a fair amount when discussing other abusive parent characters in fiction#a lot of uminekos other aspects didn't quite land for me first time round (I think mostly due to me not getting it)#but its character writing really got me a lot of the time. I remember loving how much time was spent fleshing everyone out#also beato is there and shes fun.
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can i be a little bit mean you guys. "wow i can't believe i found out (major news event) on tumblr lol" is actually not really very funny because literally every single time it's not even anything niche you guys just don't read
#txt#i think its fair to say ofc this applies to american/western news since. well. we know how everyone else gets shunted out#but like if the washington fucking post is reporting on it. i dont understand how you didnt know abt it without Tumblr....
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why did no one TELL me the 50-year-old historical fiction series about the navy was going to be absolute catnip to me
#to be fair. i probably wouldn't have believed you#anyway I think Stephen is like that tumblr post abt how every hamster is born with a thread connecting it to its bizarre and gruesome death#sats speaks
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dude with the stink i saw everyone in the comments throwing about cyrus's death i thought the ruling on chromatic orb was what killed him. but it wasn't, it was getting attacked by the giant fucking spider afterwards. and like you can make the argument that "well if the chromatic orb hadn't hit he wouldn't have gone down" like y'all. the party was up against a literal god. "it was unfair blah blah blah" yeah that's the point. when mortals tangle with the gods they lose. the DM had so many tools at her disposal to get the outcome she wanted, one stray hit did not make a difference.
#cr3#like yeah its not the way cr is normally run#but like#it's meant to be a small breather to parallel the journey bh is going through atm#and underscore the themes of the larger campaign#sometimes. dnd isn't fair. and that's the point.#multiple dms in cr history have put the party in unwinnable scenarios but its suddenly a problem#“chromatic orb doesn't work that way” we literally just finished a whole arc where trying to cast sending caused psychic damage#show me in the PHB where it says that's how sending works#like idk it just feels like complaining abt every minor unfair ruling during the crownkeepers interlude is massively missing#1. the main theme of the entire campaign#2. the reason that interlude even happened in the first place#ppl are like “well why play dnd at all then”#because its fun and it would be silly to make everyone learn a new system for 3 hours of game time#because if the players just sat there and narrated the whole thing people wouldn't be any less pissed off#the fact that people think the DM was being unnecessarily adversarial even though other DMs have ALSO gotten playfully mean at times#like hm i wonder why it's suddenly a problem now#im not using names bc i dont want ppl to find this in the tags
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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just wanted to let you know that your art changed something in my brain chemistry. i love how you design the bad kids, especially riz. it makes me love him even more 😭😭
thank u! fantasy high as a series banks a lot on heightening and exaggerations, and trying to work with that general sensibility while translating the designs into something I have fun drawing has been nice to do :]
#not art#its kinda funny to approach fh with like. a bg of shounen/gag manga? wild how much genres can differ when targeting the same demographic#tho I havent read shounen in a While lmao. the last series I picked up was uhhh tetsugaku letra#its very Gender even though I dont think it? aimed to be? it talks a Lot abt performance and failing social expectations#and I think if you wanna talk about stuff like that you kinda eventually stumble into Gender Stuff#well. to be fair the main character literally picks up and chooses to dance with a pair of women's flamenco shoes#so maybe I was just being pessimistic abt the series not aiming to talk abt transgenderism lmao#anyways I did also pick that up and then realized as I read it that wow. I have Fully outgrown this genre#which is fair bc I'm almost a decade out from being a teen. I have the privilege to grow up and get a bird eyes view of childhood#but yeah. its kinda fun to see how teen movie archetypes and shounen archetypes differ so much#and finding the thread of connection between all that#but very specifically abt riz. listen. listen I was a meitantei conan acolyte for Years (am now a hater lmao)#I have an unfortunate affinity for detectives. riz gukgak is a bullet with my name on it. laser targeted#and also this season he gets a pair of glasses which is one of the only objects I can fully draw from memory. u can probably notice#from how I draw them lmao#I think I have a sketch of his previous looks somewhere in here... I gotta look for that
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UC Santa Cruz has a free PDF of Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire!
#it didn't bit me till just now that a lot of young ppl dont even know the difference btwn the parties or what's even going on in the country#like a friend told me she doesn't know the difference btwn Democrats and Republicans#and like fair lmao they both support capitalism and genocide before the people#but dude!!! how???#how does anyone live their life not knowing a thing about the politics that decide what happens to them and their community????#i guess I should clarify this is an acquaintance not rly a friend friend#we just met weeks ago so.#im just baffled but then i think abt how i didn't learn abt what communism ACTUALLY is until 22 when my awesome old roomie told me#and i remember how gentle and patient she was and so i xont wanna be reactionary and mean to ppl who dont know shit#even tho my natural state is bitch lol#*hit not bit i just noticed that typo#there's obviously other important boo#books to read but this is the one that comes to mind now#its easy and good#and free
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