#things that change the geometry of my brain
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I think about this fanfic so much....
#things that change the geometry of my brain#i am unable to see this any another way#i refuse#i love this#damn if anyone know theauthor#let me know because i really need to kiss them in the mouth
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Tuesday, April 9, 2024
Today went very well. I am glad that I was able to catch up on my posts during my break earlier. I am now eating my evening snack, and then I will get ready for bed before spending a bit of time with my parents until it is time for sleep.
I am not quite sure if I am a fan of statistics quite yet seeing as conditional probability took me a little longer to understand, but I do think I finally figured it out so it made sense in my brain. On the other hand, the book that I am almost done with is so good. They mentioned the father of taxonomy, who I only recently studied in Biology. Yes, I forgot his name, but it isn't important as he did a terrible thing by assigning value to a person based on their race and said that there were four races, and technically even five, and then he assigned them an order and why they were in that particular order. Apparently, that was one of the ideas behind race realism which is pseudoscience at best in which geneticists even say there is no actual scientific backing for despite how it is often displayed. Although, I am finding this out from this book, with what I know in general, I trust it. Sometimes non-fiction can be difficult to read, but when it's written like this, and because I like history, I don't want to put the book down. It's strange that I somewhat remember hearing about some of the events mentioned in the book, but I can't recall it perfectly. I was only 7 then!
Tasks Completed:
Geometry - Learned about conditional probability + practice + learned to check for independence with conditional probabilities + practice + honors work
Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 23 vocabulary + read chapters 54-55 of Emma by Jane Austen and finished the novel + took quiz on Emma (12/10)
Spanish 2 - Copied and studied clothing vocabulary
Bible I - Read 1 Samuel 13-14:1-15
World History - Learned about Anne Frank + read some of Anne Frank's writings + learned about Nazi ideology
Biology with Lab - Completed virtual mystery "lab" story (14/15)
Foundations - Read more on thoroughness + took next quiz on Read Theory + read steps of Monroe's "Motivated Sequence" + read about the psychology of persuasion
Piano - 60-minute piano lesson + practiced for one hour
Khan Academy - Built into coursework
CLEP - None today
Streaming - Watched Greatest Events of World War II in Color episode 3
Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests
Reading - Read pages 323-376 of Accountable: The True Story of a Racist Social Media Account and the Teenagers Whose Lives It Changed by Dashka Slater
Chores - Laundry
Activities of the Day:
Personal Bible Study (2 Corinthians 6)
Ballet
Pointe
Journal/Mindfulness
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What I’m Grateful for Today:
I am grateful that my piano teacher was very proud of me today for having three of my pieces fully memorized and almost a fourth!
Quote of the Day:
Without music, life would be a blank to me.
-Emma, Jane Austen
🎧10 Pieces from Romeo and Juliet, Op. 75 - Sergei Prokofiev
#study blog#study inspiration#study motivation#studyblr#studyblr community#study community#study-with-aura
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give me your favorite manga or anime of all time. NOW. like, the ones who changed you as a person. if you are okay with questions like that!
HELLO HI I RISE FROM THE GRAVE FOR THIS INCREDIBLE YAPPING OPPORTUNITY
fr tho thank you Lottie for asking me too despite my death apparent, this will be long, I'll put the honorable mentions first as to make it a little more interesting and KHR will be at the bottom for the same reason-
Honorable mentions!
Sailor Moon - love myself some female friendship and magical girls. And women who could kick my ass like Pluto.
Black Rock Shooter - as above, plus vague setting and cool transformations.
Fate series - ok hear me out. I haven't watched the anime and just started the VN, I mostly play the mobile game, but it's about history and there's cute girls in it. Peak.
The Vision of Escaflowne - COOL MECHAS (hasn't finished it)
Yuru Camp - CUTE GIRLS FRIENDHIP AND COZYNESS also relaxing music (hasn't finished it)
Serial Experiments Lain - what the fuck was that
Violet Evergarden - tears? tears in my eyes? stop???
Dungeon Food - I'd have put this above if I wasn't just at the second volume of it, holy shit this is so fun but I feel it will crush my soul soon
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Ah. Lord, NGE. The vagueness of its worldbuilding, the psychological aspects, the occult and religious simbology, and the GODDAMN MUSIC. If you like classical, epic and otherwordly music, I beg you to check out NGE's score even if you're not interested in the anime itself because Shiro Sagisu is a gift from the gods and one of the best composers of our time. The series is a masterpiece. People despise the movies but IMO they do exactly what a movie should do: entertain. Anno embraced the "I'll be cringe, but I'll be free" and went all out on them, as he should have. Also, there's Kaworu Nagisa. Look at him!
Steins;Gate
PLEASE. PLEASE DO AND DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME. I WAS NOT READY. This anime will take your heart, embrace it, warm it up, GRIP IT IN ITS HANDS, CHEW IT AND SPIT IT OUT. Admittedly I played the VN because I wanted to experience all endings and OH MY GOD. It's terrifying and emotionally damaging. I started playing the sequel (Steins;Gate 0) and I had to STOP because it's so gut-wrenching in all the good ways that I need to be in the right spot for it.
Bleach
talk about recent experiences. I live under a rock when it comes to popular anime most times, and I never had the occasion to watch Bleach until recently (still haven't technically finished it because I'm waiting for TYBW to finish releasing to watch it). I... don't know what it is about Bleach that I like so much, but it got me in a similar way to KHR, as in I think about it often against my will and I'm even considering creating an OC for it. I think it's the characters, because the story is pretty straightforward... yeah, yeah it's the fictional men again. Kubo makes handsome men who fight with swords and transformation and everyone has their own powerups and...hhhngh. Look at this batch of cookies.
Ah no, wait, there's Shiro Sagisu again as composer. Almost forgot. *dances aggessively to spanish guitars*
Dr. Stone
I'm not a science brain, totally the opposite. Math doesn't math, geometry is evil and chemistry is wizardry. BUT, I love things that TRY to teach me those things in a funny and accessible way. I still won't understand them, but it was fun trying! And Dr. Stone has that, it's the moment I realize I like it when things are explained to me in that way, especially through media. Plus, fun characters, emotional moments, and cool plot.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Fortunately or unfortunately depending on your opinion on the show, KHR was the first ever japanese piece of media (excluding videogames) I've ever consumed. Being a lonely and socially awkward human being, it soon became my personality. It was these fuckers who made me get into manga altogether, I started buying the volumes (but only up to Varia Arc because 1. I didn't have an allowance, everything was done with Christmas/Easter/birthday money and 2. I was so obsessed with the Varia that my goldfish brain lost interest mid Future Arc.) and from there I discovered the pleasure of physical copies. The show has never aired in Italy, so nobody knew what the fuck I was talking about. It was, as many others were for me, a very lonely experience. But it was also the first time I felt... unique? Like, "this is my special little treasure and nobody can take it from me" kinda thing. I was emotionally invested in this show and every small piece of merch I could find like my Varia character songs CD became some of my most prized possessions (UNTIL I STARTED GIFTING AWAY MY SET OF VONGOLA RINGS BECAUSE I WANTED TO BRIBE PEOPLE INTO LIKING THE SHOW) (YEAH THAT WAS. STUPID. BECAUSE IT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T WORK. AND ONLY MADE ME FEEL MORE LONELY AND RINGLESS) Then, the falling off. I started playing an MMO that also shaped part of my personality and as you often do with things that remind you of lonelier times, I sold my volumes and stopped thinking of KHR... until recently, when I joined this fandom and the spark came back because fuck it I'll be cringe but I'll be free. I got my fair share of flack for hyperfixating on an old anime at 24 years old, but it's one of the best experiences I've ever had. So yeah. KHR was ultimately good for me.
#ask the myell#ask answered#yeah as you can see Squalo settled my taste in fictional men for the rest of my life#swordsman ✅ long bright hair ✅ angry ✅#“it's the fictional men again” is a phrase that defines me#it's always their fault#like stop rojuro has no business being that handsome fuck off#also pre-betrayal aizen > evil aizen I said what I said#also my problem with anime is that I like to do stuff while watching it but if it's eng subbed I'm forced to look at it#so I never stop and sit down to watch anime because my brain thinks I'm doing nothing?#I could only sit through bleach because the italian dub is fire
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An ASD oriented analysis of the character of Enrico Pucci
Okay guys after letting this draft cook in my notes for months, here it is!!!
I have decided to embark on the journey of listing the reasons why I think Pucci is autistic coded and if he isn’t, he’s written with a pretty good idea of what an autistic person is! Since I'm pinning this, the analysis will be under the cut ↓
I can’t guarantee that my analysis won’t come with a whole lot of general delusion or projecting on my side, so don't hesitate to tell me if you feel some type of way about this. I understand that many of the traits or behaviors i’m gonna talk about are mostly explained by the events happening in canon, but they give him a general super autistic vibe. Disclaimer that I’ve also decided to ignore most acts of murder type violence for this analysis as I think those are more relevant in the context of the story than the character building.
Although not on purpose this analysis is organized almost like diagnosis criteria, so we're going to look into repetitive behavior and interests, communication, aversion to unpredictability and sensory processing etc...! Before we start, I'd like to say once more that I am autistic, my analysis is mine and reflects my opinion only, it's my headcanon and comes with a lot of projecting, so proceed with caution.
Anxiety and counting prime numbers, Repetitive behavior
Counting numbers is a well known technique to stop panic attacks. The reason is that when you panic, your brain’s logical part doesn’t activate. Counting numbers will help you get the logical part of your brain back ‘on’. Simply counting numbers in order or in a simple pattern is too natural, and may not work, so some people will count numbers backwards from 100, count numbers in a non-patterned, random way, or even count prime numbers.
In Pucci’s case he counts primes because they can’t be divided other than by 1 or themselves and are “lonely numbers”. The prime numbers remind him of his own loneliness against adversity, and give him courage. I don’t think a lot of neurotypical people feel personal closeness to something unemotional like a mathematical concept, but I might be wrong. I think what’s interesting to note is that prime numbers are a fixed series of numbers, never changing, offering a great deal of familiarity in repeating them (and also by doing so out loud, in the sound of repeating them). He has also memorized them up to the hundreds, (maybe even thousands iirc?), which shows he has an amazing memory skill, but also that he’s probably counted them a LOT. (Funny anecdote, Oliver Sacks mentions in one of his psychology books a pair of autistic twins that would figure out prime numbers together, and use it as means of communicating and bonding. They were able to produce huge prime numbers without a table!)
It is just something I wanted to point out, but I think it’s funny that a priest wouldn’t recite prayers as a calming mantra, but something very cartesian like mathematics. This furthers the idea that he has a lot of interest and finds a peculiar comfort and understanding of the world in science.
Oh and I think resetting the entire universe for everyone to gain precognition of events COULD be considered as a liking for repetitive things… ! /j
His interests and the random trivia at unexpected times
Pucci seems to be a man of many interests but primarily these are science (especially biology, animals, maths/geometry and physics), Dio’s plan/heaven, christianism, art (paintings). At least that’s what I got from the manga. There aren’t a lot of characters for which you can easily lay out the interests in that manner. The reason for that is that he talks about those all the time! And he always uses metaphors related to what he knows about to explain the world, his intentions, or situations.
• The corridor scene where he meets Jolyne, it’s not like it’s random or out of the blue, but it feels a bit peculiar to bring up this subject in this manner, and Jolyne seems dumbfounded at what he said to her.
• When handcuffed to Jolyne, he starts explaining about the swallows that are prone to accidents to make a parallel between the birds and her own situation.
• References both a politician’s use of subliminal sex and a painting (the “Domine Quo Vadis”) in a dramatic moment where he’s literally ending his brother’s life.
• Seems to be particularly interested in art as shown by the book he was reading when he met Dio (about Fra Filippo Lippi, a painter) and the conversations he has with Dio (once again using art as a metaphor to understand other concepts such as stands, and souls.).
• Of course bringing up the subject of the man eating a mushroom for the first time at the most unstable point of the battle against Jolyne, feels very out of the blue, (but not out of context.)
• When talking to Miraschon, he does a whole bunch of inappropriated stuff lol, doesn’t pay attention to what she says, and starts talking about his own interests/ideas.
This happens again when talking to Donatello Versace, where he's bouncing off questions, not acknowledging the answer right away and coming back to it a little bit later. His train of thought seems to come first, and his communication is not centered around making the other feel like they've been listened to.
Overall he often makes a great point, but sometimes it feels like the context is lacking, like he has had many thoughts before saying the things he says, but we don’t get to hear them, so the conversation topics are a bit unnatural. Plus he generally has a very self-important way to talk and explain things.
Other than that I think his exceptional focus on the same goal and obsessive idea of fate, from childhood and up into late adulthood can be the sign of a truly one track mind, which can be often found in ASD. Could also be noted that a lot of his behavior and actions is copied/referencing Dio, which could be because of Dio’s literal influence (being absorbed by green baby), or an overall tendency to use direct references in speech/behavior.
Self importance and the desire of previsibility
As I just mentioned a little while ago, the Miraschon scene is a scene where he’s info dumping her for at least three pages, on two different subjects, but also not paying attention at what she’s saying. This is not very nice behavior, but it’s very frequent in autistic people too. Being centered on one’s self, and unable to put yourself in another person’s shoes is very characteristic of ASD.
Pucci’s motivation and his ideal of heaven makes a lot of sense from an autistic viewpoint for a number of reasons. The first one being the discomfort caused by the unknown, or at least the fact that he thinks the world would be a better place without unknown events. The desire to know everything in advance and be able to have the time to be prepared for it will resonate with a lot of autistic people, because our brains have so much trouble adjusting to unknown outcomes and situations. I can’t explain it much better, it’s just wiring.
Second reason is Pucci’s overall sense of self importance throughout the part. There are many situations in which he will put himself first, expecting better treatment, straight up explaining that he’s different than other people.
The frog scene is interesting because he tries to weigh logically why his situation is objectively worse than the guard’s, without acknowledging the slightest the guard’s panic when assessing such a stressful situation.
(Pucci thinks the guard takes decision based on logic and not panic, gets frustrated that the guard isn't calm and rational.)
His inability to see things from outside his viewpoint is ultimately what will lead him to try to push his own ideal onto the whole world, always sure inside himself that he’s doing that out of altruism and for the greater good. Of course I think there is a slight disconnect from his inner emotions about what has led him to this point. But for me, this is the truest sign of being unable to understand that other people might see things any other way than he does, but he’s just sure that people don’t understand that it’s for their own good. In a way, his self-centeredness is mostly intellectual and not of intentions. This is something that is often present in people with ASD, because of a lack of (or misplaced/altered) cognitive empathy. People with ASD can have trouble mentalizing other people’s emotions or point of view. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care, don’t respect it, or can’t show support, but they just can’t really understand that another person has another mental space.
Cognitive empathy is described as such :
Identifying and labeling the emotions, connecting feeling to cause, and reading the thoughts and perspective of others. Ability to read nonverbal communication and social context. Ability to read the mental experiences of others.
Pucci will often justify his lack of mind theory by « you just can’t understand it. » : from his view point, being opposed by other people is not due to divergence of opinion (which would mean to accept that other people understand the situation but are in a different mindset), but due to lack of intellectual comprehension. This is why even though very intelligent, it can seem like he’s confused.
Young Pucci and the scenes with Dio
An important thing to note about young Pucci is his inability to break the rule that priests can’t talk about what has been said in confession. He’s not even a priest at that time and the confession was forced on him. These are perfectly good excuses to break the rule, or at least bend it a little, to confront the Weather and then Weather/Perla situation. Hesitation or inability to break the rules, irreasonable attachment to morals and taking irrational decisions because of those despite having great intelligence is a trait that can be found in a lot of autistic people. However, we see that he’s flexible enough to permit that Dio stays in the church basement until the sun sets. In my opinion, he’s quick to give his trust to such a suspicious person as Dio, even when Dio hints that he might be lying. This could be the sign of a little bit of naivety but it's still pretty much normal at a young age.
In the chapters with Dio, we can extract quite a lot of information on Pucci’s communication because it’s the almost only scenes where he’s not in scheming mode, in a pinch, or fighting. Pucci has a very different reaction to meeting Dio, even at a young age, compared to how Avdol or the hunchmen describe their reaction to Dio for example. He’s not shocked or in awe, but not hostile either, which is unusual. Even when he talks about Dio in narration, he has a detached way of calling him beautiful and mysterious, which shows it’s obviously how he feels even though he stays calm at all times in front of Dio, even in dangerous situations.
Dio makes numerous observations about Pucci’s behavior, expression and communication. He seems relaxed and expressive, very different from the rest of what we see of him.
(Pucci 'making a face.')
Another important thing to note is the unusual way he communicates his love to Dio, using very profound words, with a lot of sincerity, without flinching. This genuine confession of a difficult emotion to confess even sets Dio aback.
(Probably having the most fun he’s had in his life here, and is that a smile!?)
Also, parallel play!! They’re shown having bonded profoundly, at the point of hanging out in bed together, but apart from chatting, they don’t really do things together like for example Hermes and Jolyne throw the ball with F.F., they’re doing stuff next to each other (Pucci watches Dio build his boat, and they read lying next to each other.).
(generally also seems kinda bad at picking up subtext)
Two words on sensory perception
(Pucci wondering about how pretty the green baby is, he really wants to know if it's not ugly fr.)
About sensory perception, it’s actually one of the first things I noted when watching the anime especially, he’s very curious about the green baby, and talks to F.F. about it, but as he says himself, he can’t get the “feeling” from a memory disc, and he wants to know how the green baby feels in a sensory kind of way. (Is it soft? is it beautiful?). Of course the many scenes where he purposely mutilates himself without even flinching could indicate that he has a very low perception of physical pain. Both these traits would indicate a very peculiar kind of sensory relationship to the world.
In this scene with Donatello he does state that he has an acute sense of taste, in response to Donatello describing with great precision ingredients in a dish.
(Having a little solo party and dropping trivia again.)
He also seems to feel the music strongly, even though the scene is meant to be comedic, he’s really into it and seems to have some sensory associations (visual/auditory) (also trivia dumping).
Although not directly a sign, the way he asks Dona to test his food because of allergy may also remind of many autistic people who have food allergies and aversions and get people to test food for them before eating.
Body language and facial expression
Pucci has a very specific kind of body posture, especially in the wrists, they’re always limp or twisted in some kind of way, similar to what autistic people might call “T-rex arms”. Araki is very talented at showing detail about characters in the strictly visual part of his drawings, so I think that’s important to note. In terms of facial expression, apart from with Dio, he seems pretty stoic and stern in most situations where he’s not under a lot of stress, almost never laughs or smiles, even in power high situations where other villains usually at least evil laugh for a couple seconds .
(Cute snapped wrist picture collection.)
End note about Weather Report
I just wanted to add a quick word on Weather. Weather Report without his memory disc is also extremely autistic coded. Walking on tip toes, talking in a very low volume not respecting personal space, when he is introduced, he seems super autistic. The reason is the lack of memory disc and consequences of being hung, but I personally think this adds to the overall neurodivergent feel of the manga. I’m also not sure of how much of his backstory was planned at first, and if or not Araki had planned his behavior because of his backstory or not at the point of his introduction scene :3
And there we have it!! I tried not to be too lengthy so I hope you understand my point. I don't think I've seen him being analyzed/hc as autistic a lot, especially compared to characters like Jotaro, but I think he shares some similarities with Kakyoin who is very ND coded too! I would also like to point out that I don't think Araki purposely created a character that reads as autistic, but that he has a very realistic vision of personalities and identities that can lead to this kind of analysis. Also, fun note, Pucci is often typed as INFJ/INTJ and these are prominent personality types in autistic people :3. Anyways, hope you enjoyed, feel free to share your reactions, I'd be glad to hear your thoughts.
NB:
I felt like adding a few to this post so here it is. I would like to say that I think overall Pucci is the most multifaceted, complex character in the series, he has often been described as such, and that’s what makes him the exceptional last boss of the first Jojo era. Many people have had trouble understanding him and Made in Heaven, as can be seen by the numerous amounts of questions on the internet « what did Pucci want to do? » « what is Made in Heaven? » etc. Araki himself said it was very tiring writing such a nuanced villain. I think many of Pucci’s actions and behavior can be attributed to elements in the story narrative, his almost impossible circumstances, and I don’t want to oversimplify, or kick him into a box that might not have been intended at all by Araki. I would also like to add that ASD is a spectrum and one may or may not relate with every trait exposed here, or may find others that I haven’t listed. And it’s always a bit hard categorizing villains as ND because of their reprehensible actions. However I think he is nuanced enough to be considered good rep anyway. But maybe that’s just me fangirling a little too much. In any case, I hope you enjoyed.
Flan, out!!
#pucci#enrico pucci#analysis#jjba#stone ocean#jojo’s bizarre adventure#idk really#autism#autism awareness month
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They can take my electricity but they can’t take my liberty! Here’s a list of Anya power evolution headcanons
This is basically how I plan on having her powers evolve from simple audiovisual telepathy to something more advanced. Each evolution represents a specific personal growth in Anya and the ways she’s changed since first meeting Loid and Yor! (Less for you more my fanfic because writing helps me remember)
Spidey senses: the ability to identify when someone enters a room
Amplified empathy: the ability to visually see a persons emotions as an aura with blended colours. As Anya gets more in tune with her emotions and personal empathy grows. It starts as one major colour and then blends to give a more comprehensive profile
Echo location: uses the volume of someone’s thoughts to tell how far the are
Subconscious thoughts: currently Anya can only access someone’s active thoughts but with this ability she can access their more passive subconscious thoughts. The more she reads minds the better she is at understanding human psychology and what causes thoughts, therefore her interpretation become more detailed. Eg Damian can’t hide the fact he likes her anymore because she can actually map out the ramblings and find the source
Dream access: Anya can now see your dreams. Evolution on subconscious thoughts. If you’re asleep she can put her hand on your head and see what you’re dreaming about, granted it’s just as confusing for her as it is for you so not a very useful power
Memory access: now Anya can literally see your entire mind, start to finish. Before she would have to ask you what you had for breakfast (or prompt you) and hope you actually think bout it but now she can see everything you remember but only what you remember what ever your brain forgot she won’t know
Language sourcing: do you a language? Well now does Anya, temporarily. Essentially she can access your entire vocabulary and perfectly replicate it. This not only includes languages but also dialects, accents and unique speech quirks.
Limited mind control: while she can’t actually change your mind she can influence your thoughts in a rather disturbing way. Unlike her other abilities you can actually kind of recognize if she’s doing this because if she changes too many thoughts or makes too drastic of a change your mind will notice. It can always cause people to go crazy and have mental breakdowns because it’s basically like an auditory hallucination which isn’t very funny
AANN: Anya can connect to various antennas, satellites, Bluetooth, just about any wireless communication device. When connected it produces a Morse code that says AANN. The direction of the device does limit her ability so she can broadcast signals if it’s a broadcast device but receivers just means she’s hear the signal instead (so if she connects to a radio she’ll hear the radio). With the broadcast one it doesn’t send any message to anyone (the signal sent is replaced by AANN) but instead amplifies her telepathic reach so she can hear an entire country if she connects to a big enough tower. Note: Bluetooth does not exist in this canon just giving a modern example lol.
Pyrokenitics(?): she can set things on fire. Not a distinct ability, it’s normal a result of over extending the previous ability. It causes things to rapidly overheat which can cause it melt or combust
Telekinesis: this was a given I mean come on she’s an esper. It’s obviously very limited and would require and insane amount of power. Her powers are electromagnetic so she can act a sort of massive magnet and can push or pull things depending on which hand she is using. It’s a very faulty power though since it attracts any metal and it’s hard to concentrate it
These skills are all dormant in her at the moment mainly because she lacks the skills to use them. Even after gaining said skills she still has to learn how to use them. It’s mostly a case of either lack of education (math, geometry and physics specifically) but also emotional intelligence. So as she grows socially and educationally she will be able to unlock and learn how to use these abilities. This is also why she needs limiters because atm her powers are not that draining but as the grow with her it will cause problems
#spy x family#sxf#anya forger#headcanon#I have to pack for a 4 month trip and this is what I am doing instead#this took soo long the electricity came back#I tried to not to saiki her out and just give her whatever is the most convenient#really put a lot of unneeded thought into mapping out her power development for a single tumblr post#this is why I name this account jame thinks because jame loves to think
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right so you're obviously mando royalty. the highest tier. the bestest ever. but, like, can you go on a deep dive as to why? what captivates you about this fic? why is it so important to you?
hmm that's an interesting one. i think some of it is just how much they love each other, how much lando looks after max and max looks after lando, how completely ride-or-die they are about each other in ways they're not at all selfconscious about. there's a depth of caring between them, as well as very profound understanding, that makes their connection very secure, very safe. despite their relative positions they are each other's most important people, in max's childhood bedroom or lando's monaco apartment.
their whole deal is very uncomplicated. they simply are max and lando. max can get in his head a little and the things it's over aren't irrational; he's clearly in a very different place in his life to lando and still working that out. but the geometry of that makes sense the second they're together or lando's arrived in chat to be a goblin, refusing to let max think he's left behind. it's the look lando gives max to make sure he laughed at his joke in videos, that maxy was there for it because he's who lando's performing for. it's the easy way they find each other, their ways back there not changed by the other stuff around them.
i have a very codependent relationship to my own best friend and there's probably a little projection. but the way max and lando are to each other is very specific, even within their friends groups. they are maxandlando, landoandmax and surely it's that they were a little bit interchangeable for awhile, physically speaking and they're the ones who got furthest in motorsport.
max has a very sweet, innocent personality and he wears his emotions very obviously. lando is pixieish and a little malicious but he also shows how he feels very clearly. together they can trust each other with that. their physical interactions are just as easy, whether it's random violence or the gentle little touches max uses to ground lando when they're filming with quadrant. the way max instinctively covered lando in that rally video. the way lando always has to be the closest to max like when pets compete to be the most up in your space.
they're both interesting guys, too. a dose of angst in both of them, from things that have happened (anthoine's death, lando's long stint alone in lockdown, max's career falling apart) and just the fact neither of them exist very comfortably in their own brains a lot of the time. max might be totally incapable of saying the word depression and i'm not sure lando would manage it either but sometimes getting out of bed isn't easy for them and having a friend who will deal with you when you can't deal with yourself is such a vital lifeline then.
mostly they are just strange little men. they're so closeted away from the world by racing - never had breakups until luisa, never been to concerts, never done half the normal things but they're also very grown up from being in the racing world. they're a little pragmatic, while both romantic and ridiculous because their lives are positioned variously in or adjacent to race cars but also, sure, they'll buy a £35 paddling pool and eat maccies and leave notes about laundry.
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prepare (1)
Riven exhaled as she shut the door to Sunward. Wuk Lamat had been set up at the Baldestion Annex. For the forseeable future, there was a great deal of preperations to be made...but first things first.
"What did you all think?" She asked, turning around to face the others.
"Green." Reinhardt, Mathye, and Augustine said in unison, causing Sebastian to blink in surprise.
"She is green." Mathye said. "Fresh out of the training hall and running about in new-made armor green. If it weren't for the fact that she does have skill in combat, I'd doubt she'd even gotten any type of first blood."
"She's got smarts, however." Reinhardt added. "And bold. I imagine she probably was the only contestant who had the idea to approach foreigners and ask them for help. It means she's flexible in her thinking and can adapt quickly to a changing situation."
"But something's wrong somewhere." Augustine mused. When the others looked at him, he gestured.
"Think about it. It's one thing to hire foreign adventurers--mercenaries even. But instead she pings directly onto us--Erenville's stories aside. It's one thing to want our battle skills--but with everything else? We're overkill. And while she's being honest about her reason to win--I can't help but feel there's something more to the story."
"That was my thought as well." Riven admitted. "But Tural may not know about us. And from the little I read, I don't think they had any effects of the Calamity, or the Final Days."
"I would suggest we talk to Alphinaud." Sebastian said. "He can handle the politics of the situation much better than any one of us. In fact, when we make it over there--let's leave anything dealing with governmental affairs to him. As far as everyone's concerned, we're just the hired help to Wuk Lamat." Riven hummed at that, crossing her arms.
"With everything we've been though, it never occurred to me that someone would want to threaten Eorzea's peace from the other side of the world."
"Honestly I don't think anyone has." Augustine replied. "And now that I think about it...we never saw anything with the Empire considering going that far out."
"Nor the Allagans now that I think about it." Sebastian added. Mathye frowned.
"...That...does seem strange. The Garleans made inroads to the farthest reaches of the east, but not the west? It's not like they didn't have the ability to do so."
"Technological constraints?" Reinhardt offered. "Airships only have so much fuel."
"No. I've seen plans that can turn them into nothing but flying ceruluem tanks." Augustine mused. "And it's a known fact that there's plenty of untapped wells in Tural. And an Agrias-class airship can fly though almost anything."
"Might be something worth asking Jullus about." Riven offered. She exhaled. "At least we've got some time to prepare. I've got to get my requests in to the Arcanists' Guild library, and quickly."
"All done with Aloato Island then?" Sebastian asked. Riven offered a weak grin, shrugging.
"Not really, but my rotation turn to go out there won't be for a few weeks. And I'd rather not fight someone for their spot--or have somebody challenge for mine." The Arcanists' Guild had been forced to create a rotation research schedule for their students and members who wanted to study the still-unknown arcane geometry of the Thavnarian island. And in true Limsan fashion, academic combat had been decided as a way for one to possibly advance to a higher spot in the rotation schedules.
"If it's alright, I'm next on the supply delivery list for Garlemald." Reinhardt offered. "I'll poke Jullus's brain, see if he heard or knows something."
"I'll come with you to Limsa." Mathye said to Riven. "I need your Mastery clearance anyway for the medical libraries. I think we'll need updated vaccinations and I'd like to know what diseases we'll need to look out for."
"I'm going to track down Nero." Augustine said. When the group blinked at him, he continued. "I think getting you a backup leg might be a good idea, Mathye. We don't know how long we'll be over there. And we have to discuss ways for your maintenance to be easier on you." His older brother started.
"I--"
"No." Riven interjected. "That's actually a good idea." Mathye flushed, crossing his arms and looking away.
"If it's alright, I'll go speak with Wuk Lamat and do some research in Sharlayan." Sebastian offered. "She might be willing--or let something slip around me." He paused, chuckling.
"This is actually strange, preparing for something that isn't world ending."
"It's a little unnerving." Riven admitted. "But...exciting. And I'm glad we're all doing this together."
#ffxiv#wol riven#riven fortemps#dawntrail#ffxiv dawntrail#mathye bishop#augustine bishop#reinhardt sauveterre#sebastian astralyas#wuk lamat
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Number 29 for the FFXIV asks? I enjoy picking people’s brains about this sort of thing.
question list
29 - One feature/content you want to see added to the game
As much as I'm tempted to say explorer mode for raid maps, I'm going to instead say capstone job quests. Y'know like the level 80 ones we got in shadowbringers? I want those back so bad. I don't mind the role quests. It makes sense with the sheer amount of jobs in the game to try and focus the resources of the writing team a little more. But its such a wasted opportunity to not have at least one job quest per major expansion. I think they'd be a perfect opportunity to idk... talk about the new super cool attacks the WoL has cooked up for their job between the last 10 levels and further the player's engagement/connection to that fantasy.
Idk, I'm probably seeing this from a very particular point of view since I play summoner and that's a job that's deeply tied to in game lore. I would like solar bahamut much better if Arsay turned to the camera and said "I was trying to summon Baha but I started thinking about Hydaelyn and this new type of guy popped out.". It doesn't even need to be that explicit!! Maybe you can tie in how looking at electrope in s9 and discussing how arcane geometry can be used to change elemental aether has gave the WoL the idea to experiment swapping or mixing aether types while summoning their demis and egis. It could be anything! It could even just be catching up with out job mentors again and having fun!!!! Im still bitter about the lv 80 summoner jobquest being more concerned with catching us up on fordola's situation than hanging out with y'mhitra and digging up more allagan nonsense or talking about how we can summon pheonix now. (even tho i really like fordola! its just felt out of place especially since other job quests where focused on job quests characters.)
I miss the Rogue/Ninja crew just as much 😭 please mr yoshi p please let me see my little guys
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20. What's in your freezer right now? (No peeking, I'll know)
43. Favorite book you've read recently? (Or not recently)
45. What's something you wish you had more time (or energy) for?
my freezer is usually full of little tubs of saucy meals ready to be defrosted and added to rice or pasta, currently i thiiink there's a bunch of tomato pasta sauce, some spicy beans, and something we call "lamb thing", because it's like, a lamb thing. i am also just remembering there's half a box of frozen dumplings that've been there too long.... boring i know, but in my defense, i have at various time had way crazier stuff in my freezer.
i have struggled to read books for a few years now, so idk about recently, but when i think about books that have shifted my thinking in some way, wierdly what comes to mind is this, it's sort of a textbook? a technical guide? a discussion on building techniques for lego technic, specifically vehicles of various kind and the mechanisms that make them work, related to all their real-world counterparts, all in pretty good detail for a hobbyist text. that book taught me the actual point of a car's clutch, how a transmission works, interesting things to do with differentials, and why steering geometry matters.... all things i don't think i could have learned any other way, because the (unconscious) pedagogy of both petrolheads/mechanics and technical engineers has never really grokked in my brain; but that foundational knowledg has helped me understand many things since. that's why this particular book changed me, not necessarily because of its contents, but because it taught me that sometimes the only way to learn something is a way that teachers (of various forms) don't really teach. unfortunately it's in storage so i don't remember the name or author, but i figure there aren't too many lego technic vehicle builder textbooks out there!
i wish i had more energy for literally anything. i have more time than i can use, but never the spoons to use it. ever since i was young, i've been bracing myself for the decline of age; the cognitive decline, the memory decline, the physical decline... i absolutely was not prepared to have so little mental energy that i need to take regular breaks from basically effortless recreation activities because i'm too tired. i guess that's more trauma and chronic pain than age, but still. if i had to pick one thing i target my energy on though, i'd definitely be my synth music, shamefully unpracticed in many many months. OR HOT SEXY SEX AMIRITE
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The Legend of Zelda: Tears Of The Kingdom, Isn't Crackdown 2.
Listen, I never really thought that Nintendo would blow the sequel to Breath of the Wild. How could they? When do they blow anything? Even games I actively like from that company tend to actually come out of the oven better than a wide swath of other options in the gaming scene. All that said, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't one part of Tears of the Kingdom that was worrying to me from the start: The Re-Use of the Hyrule map. That worry was unfounded, hell, how do I go further on that? Double unfounded? I bring this worry up, because I've experienced it before in my gaming lifetime, with Crackdown 2. Crackdown isn't a well known franchise anymore, but it was a huge deal for me in 2007. Lots of people only bought the thing because for whatever synergistic reason, it came bundled with Halo 3 beta access, but it was a hell of a game and well worth it's asking price on it's own merits. So naturally, a successful video game warrants a sequel, what interesting new things would the sequel do? What interesting new place would it be set? Nothing and nowhere, are those answers.
Crackdown 2 was set on the same map as the first game, a map with minor alterations, but functionally virtually no changes. To say Crackdown and Crackdown 2 are functionally the same video game being sold twice isn't all that exaggerative of a statement. So naturally because my brain is permanently stained by the late aughts, I was maybe one of five people who held this in my mind when Legend of Zelda Tears Of The Kingdom made mention that it was set in the same Hyrule map as the prior game. I didn't need to be worried. Rather than a re-hash of content, or minor alterations banking on you forgetting the geometry of the landscapes, Hyrule in this game is a wildly different place. Obviously there are the bigger examples, Sky Islands, and those caves that keep killing the hell out of me, but there are small things as well. Things that keep every nook and cranny of this re-used landmass fresh and exciting, when it could have been so much less in the hands of a lesser dev.
You'd think maybe a game with candy colored armor for it's guys would maybe have, idk, a splash of color anywhere else? Things as simple as new and imaginative Korok placement make exploring just as much of a joy as it always was. New towns in odd places, and odd changes to existing towns, keep things that could have easily been a re-hash fresh and new. Hell, to be frank, I've barely scratched the surface of what there is to find on the surface, let alone the caves and up in the sky. I was plainly wrong to worry that Nintendo might overdue it on the re-use of the existing landmass of Hyrule. This is one of the most beautifully handcrafted open worlds I've ever seen, regardless of whether you've seen it's same basic shape 6 years ago. Do yourself a favor and explore this world all over again, there's plenty more to find, and it's not Crackdown 2.
#video games#bread's game journal#funny#game journal#video game#meme#legend of zelda totk#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda tears of the kingdom#tears of the kingdom#totk#totk spoilers#loz totk#zelda#link#zelda totk#hyrule#hryule map#zelda hyrule#crackdown#crackdown 2#xbox#xbox 360#xbox one
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Jester’s Hat Pattern
I meant to post this on New Year’s Day. Oops. Hello, all 5 followers that aren’t bots! I typed that sentence and realized I haven’t been checking for bots in my sideblog. To be fair, I haven’t been doing a great job of posting to my crochetblr at all since I started it. Let this be the beginning of a year of more-or-less monthly patterns! More updates on the quilt! More one-off posts! This is the year of crochet!
Some of you may have noticed that I changed this blog's title last year. I felt that "NotUrGrannySquares" didn't fit me. I didn't really like it at the beginning, but it's the all I could think of (and it wasn't too creative, since I only spelt it "Ur" because "NotYourGrannySquares" was taken--not to mention, there are plenty of patterns out there with similar names). As I began to collect a few pieces from my mom and grandma for my quilt, I felt more at odds with the blog name: these are my granny's squares! I posted this one a while ago, but the other two from her are waffle stitch samples. One is incomplete, using a merino wool yarn, and the other she fished out of the kitchen when I asked if I could incorporate the wool one into the quilt, and it’s clearly a polyester because it’s slightly melted in the center where it had been holding hot things. I’m obsessed with the texture that’s resulted.
I landed on “crochety” because I’ve described myself as a crotchety old man, the word “crotchety” shares origins with the word “crochet,” and I liked how Dictionary.com defined it.
crotchety adjective 1. given to odd notions, whims, grouchiness, etc.
I am given to odd notions and whims. That’s the whole thesis of my quilt, isn’t it? That’s why I haven’t been posting patterns. When I’m crocheting, I’m crocheting. I can’t stop every row and write down what I did. Worse, I can’t write it down and then rewrite it in a text document. I tried to teach myself coding last year because I was told it’s “just logic,” and being logically minded, I should be good at it. The thing is, it’s also typing, and I fucking hate typing. (You’re looking up at the past 4 paragraphs skeptically. This is different. Just trust me that it’s different. You’ll see what I mean when you look at the pattern and how poorly I’ve cleaned it up because something about typing shit like, “Ch 3, turn, sk 1st st, sc in 2nd ch from hook, sc in next sc, sc 15, ch 2, sc in next sc, sc 15, ch 3, turn, sk 1st ch, sc in sc in sc in sc in sc in next st and to end,” just itches my brain so uncomfortably. Crocheting is so intuitive for me, and translating it from the physical realm to the written kills me. It’s like when I would finish my geometry proof before everyone else, and the teacher would suggest I help the kid next to me, but I couldn’t put it into words. I don’t know, dude, you just put the things where they go. Just put the hook through the correct stitch. Just make it the shape of one third of a jester’s hat. That’s how you make a pattern. Just do the thing that obviously you should do. This is why I like diagram crochet patterns more, which I would like to get into on here in the future. However, this pattern reflects the madness that is my brain trying to type up patterns. When I started this blog, I thought I would do a bunch of patterns like that, maybe with a horror narrative evolving around the monotony and the separation between typography and craft, and then I realized how much tongue in cheek patterning that would require. Hmm. Maybe someday, though.)
So anyway, this is NOT your granny’s pattern because I bet she has better discipline than I do. She would have cleaned this pattern up to the necessary bits. I’m too damn crotchety for that.
All 3 panels will follow this pattern. I used (most of) 3 skeins of Buttercream Luxe Craft 100% Wool yarn. It is yarn weight 5, recommending 6.0mm crochet hooks, and for once I did what I was told.
It appears that Joann has rebranded it to Knit & Crochet, but it also seems I have moved to an area with mediocre Joanns which carry neither. Which is whatever; I have gift cards to better yarn shops.
You can follow the same scheme of adding stitches with different starting row counts. This ended up being a little more than 25 inches in circumference, which made it just a bit too big for me. I rolled up the brim on the underside when I wore it, which worked fine for me and my 21 inch head since it’s a nice thick yarn.
Key I'm using US terms. ch = Chain sc = Single crochet sk = Skip sc2tog = single crochet 2 together That's all you need. It's easy peasy, you got this, gorgeous.
Ch 31. 1. skip 1st ch. sc 30. ch 1, turn. 2-10. sc 30, ch 1, turn. 11. sc 30, ch 2, turn. 12. sk first ch, sc in second from hook. sc across. Ch 2 again! and turn. 13. sk first ch, sc in second, sc 16, ch 2, sc in next stitch and to end. (32 total, 16 on each side. We're gonna stop keeping count, though. I didn't, and it turned out just fine. You'll be fine, as long as all your panels are Shaped.) Ch 2, and turn. 14. Sk first ch, sc in second, sc 17. In 2 ch space {sc, ch 2, sc}. Sc to end. Ch 2, turn. 15-16. You know what you're doing. Sc to that chain space, and sc, ch 2, sc, and keep going. Ch 2, turn. 17. Now it switches up, but not really. Sk first ch, sc in second. Sc to 2ch space {sc, ch 2, sc}, sc to end. NOW. Chain 3. Turn. 18. Sc in second and third ch from hook. sc to chain space {sc, ch 2, sc}, sc to end. Ch. 3. 19. NOW it switches up. Sc in second and third ch, sc across. You hear me? Single crochet across! Skip that chain space entirely this time 'round! 20-22. In 20, you add the ch space in... um. shoot. This is why people keep track of stitches. Add the ch space above where it was in 18. IDK, you got this. ch 3, turn. 23. Hey, just skip that ch space again, okay. Don't argue (you can argue, change the pattern, idgaf). Ch 3, turn. 24. sc in second and third ch from hook, sc 31, ch 2 without skipping, sc 32. Ch 3, turn. 25-27. Same as 20-22. 28. Do that thing where you omit the ch space. Or don't. I'm not your mother. 29-30. Same as 20-22 and 25-27. 31. This is ittttttttt! Single crochet until that 2 chain space where I need you to use that one stitch in the key you forgot about? The sc2tog? Keep sc'ing to the end and fasten the fuck off, you did it.
Now you just have to do that two more times and probably in different colors. Maybe if you're fancy you could do stripes. Row 31 should have 92 stitches, but, like I said in Row 13, as long as it's Shaped, you're honestly good. As longs as the Shapes are Basically The Same, you are grooving.
Sew them up. I slip stitched them together because I'm more comfortable with a hook than a needle (and I think it looks nice). Don’t forget to affix something that jingle jangles. 🃏
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I was beginning to watch CGMatter's cupcake tutorial and my hyperactive brain said "I bet we can make the entire thing in Geometry nodes"... It turns out you actually can! A procedural Cupcake simulator that lets you change the shape, size, and materials!
#blender#geometry nodes#you can't eat this cupcake#this is why I'm always tired#my brain could chill out for once
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Thursday, May 16, 2024
Tomorrow is my last day of the academic year! I will take/present my finals and be done with school until August! I will still be studying of course to prepare for next year as well as my level 9 history exam, but I cannot believe that tomorrow is the last day of my first year of high school!
On another note, not only have most of my pens run out of ink, but all of my wite-outs are out too! That's why you see scribbles on my geometry practice test in the photo. Yes, I DO make mistakes and quite often! This is why I always check my work before having it graded because my biggest mistake is miscalculations! I forget about the negative sign or I accidentally add when I should subtract. Sometimes, my brain goes blank on easy simplifying for expressions (mostly quadratics) or I'll mix up a formula. This is why I have no wite-out left!
Julien drove me to ballet and picked me up again! Because I have a packed schedule right now, I still don't get to spend the time with him that I like. BUT that will change next week when I am done with school during the day! I wonder what we will do! Right now, I must focus on studying for my finals, and that means getting a good night's sleep tonight. Therefore, I shall bid you adieu! ¡Hasta mañana! 晚安!
Tasks Completed:
Geometry - Completed practice test for final exam (91%... ew but it's still an A)
Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 24 vocabulary + studied notes + emailed non-fiction writing assignment to Mom for grading (58/60)
Spanish 2 - Completed vocabulary test portion of my final (100%) + reviewed verb conjugations for all tenses + grammar notes
Bible I - Read Matthew 27
World History - Completed edits on final presentation + practiced presentation with my brother
Biology with Lab - Reviewed notes and study guides + finished lab report for germination lab
Foundations - Read more on wisdom + watched a TEDtalk on grit + read about the difference between western and eastern cultures education styles
Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions
Khan Academy - Completed High School Geometry daily mastery challenge + completed High School Biology daily mastery challenge and course challenge (57%, but in my defense, it asked a lot of questions about things that I didn't study in my biology course or on KA, since I didn't complete every unit or lesson in the KA biology course, and those were the majority of the missed questions)
CLEP - None today
Streaming - Watched Empire Games Episode 6
Duolingo - Studied for approximately 45 minutes (Spanish [primarily], French, Chinese) + completed daily quests
Reading - Read pages 245-274 of The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf and finished the book
Chores - Put away the dishes + took the trash out
Activities of the Day:
Personal Bible Study (2 Timothy 4)
Ballet
Pointe
Journal/Mindfulness
#study blog#study inspiration#study motivation#studyblr#studyblr community#study community#study-with-aura
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Disclaimer: not a physicist, I just like to listen to physicist
ok so everybody who has any interest in physics with 52 minutes to spare go watch acollierastro's video "string theory lied to us and now science communication is hard" because it has some excellent insight into (one facet of) why science communication is so difficult now and why so many people distrust science and equate it with magical thinking, but also I have my own little tidbit to add to the equation and it's about the observer effect, which is where observing a phenomenon changes its outcome
Unlike acollierastro's video, this isn't about a hypothesis that doesn't follow the scientific method, because the observer effect is a real thing that we can test and demonstrate unlike string theory. Rather my problem is with how the observer effect is taught to lay people. And when I say how it is taught to lay people I mean on *every* level. If you are not a practicing physicist and you don't actively search out information on this subject, you definitely have completely the wrong idea of what the observer effect is. Hell, even if you do search out information you probably have that same wrong idea
See the way we're all taught about the observer effect in highschool and on, frankly, social media, is that if you are studying the behavior of matter on the subatomic level, it will act completely differently depending on whether you are "watching" it happen or not
and that sounds like magical thinking
So you ask your professor what that means because the bit about the observer effect in your AP Chem textbook really only has that one line, and maybe a blurb about how it was discovered which doesn't offer much insight to a highschooler. But the teacher doesn't really have anything else for you, they just say "yes it's true, watching subatomic particles changes how they behave!" and you just kind of have to accept that that's the answer
So a lot of people go through highschool and their adult life hearing this and they go one of two ways. Either they think "that's ridiculous, that sounds like Toy Story, physics is just a bunch of humans coming up with ideas and seeing what sticks and apparently what sticks is just whatever is the most attention grabbing" (physics is not about ideas it's about math all the way down), OR, they think "wow, the human mind really is incredible, our brains can literally change reality, can you imagine what we could achieve if we used 100% of our brains instead of 10%? We're in a simulation, reality is divine geometry, the particles know we're watching" it goes on. And it just doesn't get corrected
And you end up with two camps of people who either reject or think that they embrace science, but either way they think that physics is a bunch of people coming up with ideas to explain the world when it's not, that's how mythology works, physics is math. Einstein didn't predict relativity by thinking hard about it and having the right ideas, he predicted it through math, the math came first. Physicists aren't just a bunch of people making things up to stay relevant, nor are they a bunch of gnostics recieving divine inspiration from above. They're goddamn mathemeticians and experimentalists. They do math, see what the math predicts, then set up a plan for how to test that math (see acolierastro's video for a more thorough explanation of what makes a theory of physics a theory of physics)
And this ties into a lot of other cases of poorly explained concepts in science that have people asking "but how do they know that? Scientists are just making things up/the universe is magic" but the observer effect is probably the most likely to push people into magical thinking (others are the fact that we know about earth's internal structure because we can use sonar to measure it, we know about the big bang and the accelerating expansion of the universe because we can use the speed of light and the doppler effect to measure not only how celestial bodies are moving right now but how they were moving in the past and track that through time, and we can observe that distant galaxies are moving in ways that would indicate that they contain more matter than we can observe and that yet unknown phenomenon has been dubbed dark matter which is an admittedly overly mysterious name)
Anyway I should probably circle back to the observer effect, so let's ask what it means to observe something. Well, on our macro scale, observing something usually means seeing it. But in order to see something, light has to hit it, cause a momentary disturbance in the energy of the thing's electrons, eject back out from the object, and go into our eyes. Observing could also mean to hear something, but in order to hear it it has to bump into air molecules or other matter and send rippling physical vibrations out. We could smell it! But to smell something, volatile particles have to leave that thing (slightly reducing its mass), enter your nose, and slot into your olfactory receptors. You could touch it! That one's self explanatory. What do all of these things have in common? That object you are observing has to interact with the world around it in order for you to observe it. Whether it is interacting with light, the air, or your actual fingers, the object you are observing has to effect and be effected by the outside world around it. If something is completely inert, and not currently interacting at all with light or other matter or gravity or electromagnetism or etc, you cannot observe it. So how do we observe particles at the scale necessary to demonstrate the observer effect? With lasers
With lasers
We shoot lasers at it
That certainly does something to the thing we're observing
And that doesn't have to be the only way to observe matter at subatomic scales. But there is not any way to observe matter without interacting with it, either directly or indirectly. It isn't that our consciousness effects the outcome, it isn't about us. When physicists say that observing something changes its behavior, we are not always the observer, the observer could also be a nearby atom which "observes" the particle in question by creating interactions between them. Nothing to do with conscousness
The observer effect, very roughly, means that while a particle or system is not interacting with anything, it behaves probabilistically, but when interacting with its environment, that probability solidifies into an outcome. If And to be clear: that's still wild! It doesn't mean that there's a magical universal consciousness, and it doesn't mean that "particles break the laws of physics when we aren't looking at them", especially because we do already have extremely robust and experimentally testable models for how unobserved systems behave, so it's not breaking the laws of physics, it's confirming them!
So yeah, all this to say, modern science is not a competition for who can come up with the best ideas or who can be blessed with the most enlightened perspective. If something cannot be observed measured or tested then it is not a scientific theory or even a hypothesis it is just a thought. And thoughts are great! But thoughts are not physics. And we need better science education that does a better job at simplifying complex topics nondestructively
#mine#corbinite gets real#long post#addendum to the header of this post: I don't listen to physicists who primarily just give pop sci lectures about expanded horizons#I mean currently practicing physicists#go away michio kaku#brian cox you're on thin ice#acollerastro and dr becky are great practicing physicists who also do youtube lectures on the side#their primary source of income is not media they are not entertainers with backgrounds in physics#they are physicists who like to talk about their work#they also present things without a bunch of unnecessary fanfare (though you can tell that they're passionate)#also acollierastro's dry minimalist video editing style is very funny to me#scheduling this post because I actually care about this one reaching people
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my mom makes me feel so much more ashamed of my body than I'd actually ever be on my own. she saw the cuts on my legs today and told me how much i'm gonna hate them later in life. I love my scars right now. her saying I'd hate them tells me she already hates my body how it is. she's ashamed of them. I didn't change my pants and she gave me her condescending smile and told me to change into sweatpants (i didn't lol). every time she sees them she just makes me feel guilty and embarrassed. she doesn't even see it as a sign of mental illness, just me being irresponsible in how I handle things that everyone deals with anyway so I should just be normal about it. like i'm cutting myself because i'm stressed about geometry or some shit and not that I feel like I live with a parasite stuck in my brain that aims to destroy everything I love and I feel like the only way out is to take my life. nope I tear my skin open over having to do the dishes. please
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Guide to Begin Your Spiritual Attunement in 7 steps
*Note: I'm not an authority of any sort. There is no authority in spiritual endeavors but your own self. This is simply a guide based on my own experiences. It's more of a description of how I reached my current state, written as a piece of guidance. The flow of steps is sequenced by my experiences, but is technically arbitrary. Number 3 is vital and you should likely start it as soon as you can.
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1. Receive the universe's call for what it is. There is no such thing as a false recognition of patterns. Although pareidolia is a true phenomenon, it is a lie that it is a meaningless flaw in the brain. In fact, if you search for yourself, brain activity during pareidolia has never been studied in a manner which proves that it is random and meaningless or a flaw of evolution. Scientists simply say "it's just random pattern recognition" and consider it fact. All fiction and imagined things are channeled from elsewhere. Prove this for yourself by investigating the phenomenon on your own.
2. Connect with what calls you. I have always been called to serve others. Then I was drawn to nature. Through service to others and nature, and radically changing and caring for myself in turn, I was eventually called by deities and spirits. Finally, I was able to connect with Source itself through meditation. Listen for what draws you toward it, and answer the call. Receive.
3. Learn to cleanse, protect, and ground. These are vital steps for creating a safe spiritual space, keeping it clean, and connecting with other realms and energies. It is just like any other hygiene and security. You wouldn't leave your home open in a bustling city at night with all your valuables on display while you have the flu because you didn't wash up for a month. Kick out unwelcome visitors, wash your hands, lock your doors, and connect with friends and family. Cleanse, protect, ground.
4. Work with spirits and deities. Don't let anyone tell you working with beings and deities and energies you don't yet fully understand is some complex, dangerous undertaking. If you cleanse, protect, and ground, and have good intentions--and understand basic witchcraft, which is a tool of empowerment--you are safe. But do be sure you are stepping into working with deities informed in more than just a shallow manner of their true nature, and that you ask of them that which is commensurate to your level of ability and understanding. Walk with caution. The spiritual world is not nearly as dangerous as many claim, but deities must be fully researched and discourse acknowledged.
I have found that we witches are especially overcautious. Cleanse, protect, ground, then connect--you will be safe. Ancient attestations and artifacts are your guide to deities, as well as those who interpret them with insight. Deities and spirits are your true spiritual guides, not witches and pagans who write books or post on the internet. Including me.
4. Meditate on plants, then trees, then water, then wind or smoke, then fire, then the Moon and stars. It doesn't matter if you are good or bad at meditation. Let your distracted thoughts or sensations or eye movements play out and pass by like clouds in the sky. Be persistent. Use Solfeggio tones playing through your speaker or headphones for attunement. Ask the subject of your meditation to show you its true self out loud after cleansing, protecting, and grounding. Then meditate until you see and feel the true(r) nature of things. I recommend Meditative Mind's YouTube channel for Solfeggio tones. Especially the video "528Hz | Brings Positive Transformation..."
5. Find your alignments. Elemental and otherwise. Don't dismiss anything you haven't previously been drawn to. Try everything. Meditate on the four elements, read Khuddakapāṭha and other Bhuddist writings and chants, and explore all "mythologies" and creation "myths." Be sure to investigate sacred geometry. Take what you connect with and leave everything else for now, to be revisited and reflected upon later.
6. Receive messages and guidance from deities, spirits, and the dead. Of course, understand that you are a component to the meaning and origin of the messages. But meditate on that and you'll understand that it doesn't make it false just because it came from yourself. And remember, half is from within, half from without. As above, so below.
7. The quest to heal trauma and climb the mountain to enlightenment is perpetual. No human but perhaps a Bhudda or other ascended being can know all, and I am skeptical even of their ability to hold the nature, position, and destiny of every particle and energy wave and entity of the universe and all other realms in their mind. But you don't need to. Enlightenment isn't actually a destination, it's a journey. You're not supposed to know that, but I think it's better for endurance and spirit to know.
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My journey is nearer to the beginning than the end, by far, but this is what I can share thus far.
--Ben
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