#things i'll never say
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I gave you every ounce of my trust, and you betrayed it so easily. Of course I can't forgive you for that.
#depressing thoughts#things I'll never say#spilled thoughts#spilled feelings#love#relationship#heartbreak#breakup#trust#broken trust#betrayal#letter to my ex#no forgiveness
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All the words unsaid, I could rewrite our love story.. With the ending we wanted.
#actually bpd#heart break#mental health#spilled heart#spilled thoughts#atelophobia#anxitey#always alone#alexithymia#things i'll never say#mental instability#inner child#bpd poetry#bpd problems#spilled poetry#poetry#bpd stuff#breakup#broken#tw depressing thoughts#bpd#depression#depressed#3am thoughts
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If I could say what I wanna say I’d say I wanna blow you away Be with you every night Am I squeezin’ you too tight? If I could say what I wanna see I wanna see you go down on one knee Marry me today Guess I’m wishing my life away With these things I’ll never say These things I’ll never say
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I used to tailor my old tumblr blog with posts specifically for you to see.
Some things never changed.
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#i miss you#sad thoughts#i miss us#heartache#personal thoughts#i love you#i still love you#things i'll never say#i'll always love you#i wish you missed me#i want more#i want to forget#sad but true#talk to me#i don’t want to want you#i’ll let go eventually#thinking about you
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#jessie reyez#favorite songs#spotify recommendation#spotify#online diary#manic pixie dream girl#rat girl <3#rat girl things#chronically online#manic pixie nightmare#<3#things I'll never say#I fucking love her voice#Spotify
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#i knew you were fucking hiding something#you're just the same as the others#i should have known better#things i'll never say
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Me: "You can't have chef boyardee, but you can have chef boyardeez nuts." My pregnant wife: *sobs*
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I believe I feel things more than most
I believe I feel sorrow so much more
Much more than the deepness of the Grand Canyon
Much more than the vastness of an ocean
It spreads from my eyes that pour onto my skin
From my skin to my bones and into my gut
I believe my mistakes chip my soul
And I feel, that I’m hanging on for dear life
Sadness is just a word, and if Webster knew me
They would believe that I’m the definition
I’m hanging on for dear life, cupids arrow has wounded me
I thought my heart was a good one
I’ve proven that it’s nothing more than empty
I believed that I was good, I was wrong a change of word and proof to the point of never will I always be.
I believe I should Fall in love with this feeling, and maybe then I might learn to love again, I’ll have to learn to be happy that way.
“I Feel” (Chapter 29, A Hundred Heartbreaks) DKL
#writing#love#dkl#me#poetry#personal#you#writers on tumblr#writings#poem#spoken word#writers#spilled words#theseiwrite#spilled thoughts#spoken poetry#my words#poets on tumblr#things i'll never say
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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I'm so tired
#my writing#writing#sad thoughts#sad poetry#sorry for being depressing#it's been a long week#depression#someday somewhere it will get better#but for now#things i'll never say#things i'll never tell you
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"I love you, but I will no longer give you a space in my life from which you can hurt me with ease."
Excerpt from something longer
#depressing thoughts#things I'll never say#spilled thoughts#spilled feelings#love#relationship#heartbreak#breakup#no contact#letter to my ex#excerpt from something longer
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Why do I beg for your love? I know I'm the second choice. That I'm only there when you're bored. Claim it's toxic, how I am. Needing attention. Being starved of my needs. I beg and beg, you broke me more and more. I wish I could walk away, I wish you wouldn't drag me around in circles.
#actually bpd#mental health#heart break#spilled thoughts#spilled heart#bpd things#bpd#spilled love#spilled poetry#bpd thoughts#brokenheart#breakup#broken#3am thoughts#things i'll never say#atelophobia#anxitey#alexithymia
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If I could say what I wanna say I’d say I wanna blow you away Be with you every night Am I squeezin’ you too tight? If I could say what I wanna see I wanna see you go down on one knee Marry me today Guess I’m wishing my life away With these things I’ll never say
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do you miss me? when you pour yourself a cup of coffee, does it still remind you of my eyes?
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#personal thoughts#thinking about you#heartache#things i'll never say#i miss you#i miss us#sad thoughts#i'll never forget you#i'll always love you#i love you#fuck you#i’ll let go eventually#sad but true#sadbeautifultragic#i want to go back#i wish you missed me#you’ll never know#missing you#heartbroken#dear dairy#i’ll always remember
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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i know i won't ever be enough for you, but i hope one day I'll be enough for myself
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