#things from the last two months makes so much sense now hahaha

[personinthepalace]

Went to some local bookstores with my friend today and couldn’t resist buying the Spy x Family manga!

[papaver-decervicatus]

Cat/Mouse/Den: Pt. 4, Mus Urbanus

Fatal attraction is one thing but stuck on a stakeout, a certain little mouse decides to push her luck with the cat who's been chasing her... just how far is too far, and how much more can they take?

CW: Obsession, stalking, canon typical violence, intrusive thoughts, unsanitary wound care

Authors Note: Hahaha, remember how I said I was going to do shorter updates? Yeah well, I felt really bad for missing the previous week but I did have a lot of terrible IRL shit happen, so working through that was a priority. That being said, going back through all the amazing comments and everything everyone has written has been absolutely keeping me afloat! Thank you all so so so so so much, you will never know how much it all means to me.

There are a couple of Hannibal references in this part that, hopefully, will start to make sense by the last part of the story (which was, coincidentally, the first part written!) Not going to lie, I am just glad to publish this so I never have to think about this damned part again as I have been stuck on in for literal months. Also sorry if Soap's accent sucks, the only experience I have with anything remotely Scottish in the way of language tendency is my grandmother whose father was a Scottish immigrant and that's it.

Anyways, I hope you like agnst and interrogation scenes, because next week, König loses his faith in god and in mouse while tied to a chair! See you there!

❣️Cura ut Veleas ~ Caedis 🥀

PREV | Pt. 4 Mus Urbanus | 4.2k words | Mouse POV | NEXT

“Mouse?” A voice from in front of her calls out, but only after she deliberately drags her feet into the threshold of the neutral ground, alerting him of her presence. 

“Quiet as a.” She utters her usual response, stepping into the little flat in Buenos Aries, Argentina. She hears the smile as Soap sucks in a breath at her little joke. Her callback should be old by now, shouldn’t make him smile anymore, but he does anyway. He’s easy to get along with, something hard to come by in war. She crosses the minimal space between the two and takes stock of his little setup. 

For a mission, it’s luxurious. He’s sitting, in a chair might she add, with a scope poking barely out of an antique window on the 7th floor of an apartment building, looking into a busy market square. His arms rest on a table littered with little signs of life, a map of the area adorned with notes and coordinates in inexpensive ink, no less than 7 pens whose caps are chewed through (everyone’s got bad habits but this little sin of his drives poor Price up and down the goddamn wall), two disposable cups with sediment rings denoting how much instant coffee was drunk from them at a time before they returned to their places besides their drinker. Most notably, however, are two radios in a strange moment of near fornication– backs ripped open and wires crossed in an almost pornographic display of field ingenuity. 

Damn demolition specialists, she hears the echo of Gaz say in her head and she absentmindedly rubs the scabbed over cut on her left hand where the shrapnel of a certain someone’s frag grenade got her two weeks ago. She wants to be mad but-

“Hear any good ones, lately?” Soap turns to her, he’s disengaging from his post, changing his guard for her to take his spot, just as command ordered. He’s been in this little nest for about 6 hours and she can feel his desire to scuttle and tinker about radiating off of him. As he takes apart his gun, already aware and familiar that she refuses to use anyone’s but her own, his eyes shine to life. The color of sky blue permafrost, yet they radiate a certain lived-in warmth impossible to distance yourself from. Eyes almost like-

She bites her tongue at the thought. Bad time to be thinking about König… she mourns. But, speaking of the man.

“Yes, but it’s bad,” she offers, in fake warning as she sheds her outer jacket before moving to unhook the case that stands between her and the assembly of her gun. She knows the warning will only intrigue the poor pyrotechnic more. 

His smile is nothing short of sadistic as he raises an eyebrow.

“No, like, really bad,” she emphasizes, throwing a pleading look his way. His grin gets even more shit-eating-er if that sort of thing were even possible. “I mean it, MacTavish. Pass it along to your long-suffering Lieutenant, and you will be picking teeth out of your shit.” “I’m sure I’ve done worse to Ghost,” he supplies, rolling his shoulders. Yeah, I’m sure you have, she thinks but is much too self-preserving to say, especially aware that the Frankenstien’s monster of a radio he’s resurrected from two dead circuit boards is likely not secure enough to promise any real privacy. She would rather not alert Simon Riley that she’s become a dealer in his and Soap’s arm’s race of terrible jokes. He does not take prisoners, after all… 

“Alright, alright, just don’t tell him it’s from me,” she smiles, putting her hands up defensively in a quick jest. “Okay, play along with me now,” he nods along as he steps away from the perch and lets her take his spot at the table. 

“So, what's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a gluestick?”

“I know about two-thirds o’ this one.” 

Mouse trap baited. She smiles.

“Give it a go, then.” She wiggles in the chair, pressing her cheek to the crux of the sight and its metal holder. She sighs into the familiar feeling of control that settles into her bones as she hunches over.

“Can tuna piano but’cha can’t tuna fish?” He supplies, half teasing her already.

“Yep, but you’re forgetting something.” She sighs and goes to fiddle with the red-light optics extension, Command is confident enough in her abilities that she was specifically told to take it off for this one. She hears Soap whisper a quiet ‘oh shite’ behind her when he realizes he probably forgot to himself and she laughs a little. 

“What about the glue?”

Mouse trap set. Poor Soap, always getting himself into ambushes…

She smiles wide and hums remembering how excited her kitty-cat was to tell her this part. 

“See, I knew you’d get stuck on that one.” 

Mouse trap sprung. A moment of silence.

“Oh fuck me, that one is bad.” Soap chokes out a hearty laugh as he collects his discarded coffee cups from her side.

“No thanks,” she purrs as she finally sets herself into position. “Use it at your discretion, soldier.”

“Aye, that I will.” 

Soap goes to rummage through the kitchenette to her right and she takes the moment she lacks supervision to indulge herself. She does not move her sights to alert the man with her of the wandering of her eyes, instead, she scans windows and alleys without visual aid. The stale air threatens to choke her as she rakes over the golden-hued morning scene with desperate efficiency. 

After what feels like an eternity of stolen glances switching between her targeted area and anywhere he may be, she sees him. 

Technically, she has no way to know for certain that it’s König, she doesn’t have his usual wave or cheeky grin (affectionately referred to as a Cheshire Cat Smile in her own belabored heart) to alert her to his presence. That being considered, there is a masculine figure barely peeking out of a window into an alleyway who is just shy of 7 feet tall and his face is covered. Yeah, probably König. She smiles despite herself and her company. She wonders if he has radio access to her little hideout. 

(She remembers the seemingly endless weeks of his arrival to her perch. The early morning light hits the streets the same way it had hit the forest ground that day. Like a fairy tale prince, beseeching a princess on hand and knee, he would always somehow appear in her sights, nearly as though it was just meant to be! 

His form stands out tall and proud from its surroundings and she recounts every single reason he should not be here. By the third time their eyes caught she’d decided he was doing it on purpose, but she never let him get away with it without some acknowledgment on her side. She can only imagine that if she’s getting hunted for sport, her calling out his position will, at least temporarily, halt his advance. 

But by this rate, she’ll be in his mouth by the end of the year. 

His eyes are cold and bloodshot red. Painted tears lick their way down the hood she’s never seen him without, possibly a feeble attempt at impersonality? Maybe if he looks enough like a monster people will just trust their first assumption and leave him alone. But she’s never been one to judge a book by its cover…

“I see you, König.” She warns out to him. He stills among the foliage, bathed in sweet-honey-like warmth from the rising sun. He does not shy away from his imminent death on the business end of her rifle, of course not! Instead, he raises his chest proudly, seemingly aware that the loneliness in her yields to whatever greater magnetism the loneliness in him commands. He’s an enigma, it bothers her that of all the people to put the effort into finding her, it has to be him. Mostly she curses herself for promising him a next time all those encounters ago, if she’d known what sort of a game it would inspire in the predator stalking her like prey despite her flipping sniper rifle, she never would have said a thing. 

He may be in her scope, but he’s got her under a finer microscope to seek her out so faithfully. She wishes she got this sort of dizzying devotion from someone, anyone else. It is the third day this week he has found her.

What she expects to happen is what has happened for weeks now, 1) he hears her transmission, 2) he smiles at her as a predator smiles at pray, his eyes find hers and her hackles rise in utter terror, and 3) he hums to himself and turns away, self-satisfied enough to have won hide-and-seek for the time being.

That does not happen. 

Instead, König sits down, right where he is, and pulls out that monster of a knife he keeps strapped to himself. He throws it up and catches it without looking at it, instead his eyes are laser-focused on Mouse. This is, of course, despite the fact he should have no earthly idea where she is. He plays with his knife idly for what must be an hour, but she does not- no, can not- look away from him.

She remembers her trigger finger twitching with sinful power, she remembers choking back the insistence at killing another lonely person, devoid of their autonomy on a basic level when they signed up for a mercenary-issued ticket to hell.

She remembers hopelessness. She remembers refusal. She remembers the smile reaching his eyes when she played along with his joke. 

“Why don’t rats like cats?” Her radio labors out. 

She half forgot what his voice sounded like, surprisingly excitable and shrill for a man of his stature. Her brain stutters around the implication of the only words she’s heard him say to her since the fateful ravine that gained Mouse her own personal 6’10” shadow. 

She blinks a few times in surprise, genuinely pondering if her long hours hiking through the woods have made her susceptible to hallucination and general hysteria. She is not thinking when she timidly responds-

“Why?” 

“Because they are weapons of maus-destruction.” Konig replies like it’s not the stupidest thing she’s ever heard in her goddamn life. Perhaps it's pity at the memory of his discomfort around his comrades. Of the thought of the way he tries to make his body so small when around others (truly an impossible task he routinely fails.) Maybe it’s irrational fear, twofold and buried in her instinct to shoot despite the clear disadvantage on his behalf and her insistence that she does not do her damn job, or fear of the inhuman man in front of her stalking her through the woods. Or it could be discomfort, no one ever prepared her for dealing with whatever the fuck this is in basic training or field school. In the end, it doesn’t really matter what it is.

In the sparkling, decadent light of a sunrise, her heart hammers in her throat at the first joke he’d told her, in some strange and desperate attempt to fill the meters of silence between them.

She laughs. 

And he hears it.

And with his wide stance, his ghastly executioner’s hood in the place of a crown, and his knife back in its holster- his beautiful eyes seem to smile. Suddenly, his eyes look lived in, like someone has just put up new curtains in an abandoned house. His whole affect changes hinging on what was an irresponsible outburst on her behalf at best.

And for the first time, she does not fear a monster hunting her through the woods, silent and purposeful in his pursuit of prey. Instead, she wants to understand a man, whose eyes have lit up like a princess has just laughed when he kissed her hand.) 

Soap wanders back into her small perch with two cups of coffee and sets one down next to her. She takes a quick glance and hums with appreciation. He takes another sip out of his and she remembers that they’re supposed to share shift for about an hour before his rotation ends.

“You treat all your girls to coffee in the morning?” She quips.

“Only the pretty ones,” he returns with an effortless charisma and her breath catches.

Not because of Soap, but because in that alleyway, where she really shouldn’t be looking, she sees the uneasy rise of two massive shoulders and-

Oh my god, did König just… get jealous? 

The next idea she has is downright evil, really this is not the place or the time or any of that but-

Fuck it. She’s already flirting with the enemy, what more could this do? She’s already told the poor mountain of a man something dangerously adjacent to “God I really missed you when we didn’t talk to each other for three weeks like a horny teenager and by the way I love you desperately and think about you when I’ve got my hands down my pants,” and she probably imagined him tensing up, anyways. No harm, no foul. 

Maybe, it's dangerous, to wave a steak in front of a mountain lion, but what if she wants to get mauled?

“Hey Soap, what page are you on?” She says, putting her terrible plan into action. She sees him look up from his report, or more likely an idle sketch, on her periphery. 

“Ah, only the second chapter, did'ya move my bookmark?”

“Nope, the book’s in the leftmost pocket in my duffle.”

“Thank ya,” He says and moves from his spot to go fetch the book from it. She takes a quick sip of her coffee, delighted to realize he’s made it to her specifications as far as milk and sugar go, as he rummages around in her bag.

The impromptu book club started nearly eight months ago when Nova passed her copy of Emma by Jane Austen off to Gromsko to help him with his English. That turned into Mouse recommending the book Jane Eyre to Nova on the pure suspicion that she would hate it, which she did. Gromsko still needed to practice and enjoyed the spirited discussions so he joined the blossoming group with an English copy of The Doll by Aleksander Głowacki after he finished Jane Eyre. Never one to be left out, and surprisingly well-read when he wanted to be, Soap had pitched the idea of The Lord of the Flies (because to quote “Fucking Brits,” and he wanted to subject others to his high-school reading list.) If she remembered correctly, Farah and Reyes had also started sharing copies of books they enjoyed occasionally.

“Can’t believe it was Gromsko that put it in rotation.” Soap says, pulling out a well-worn copy of The Silence of the Lambs from the bag.

“He said he picked it up years ago in Polish thinking it was a cooking field guide.” She offers, as the man next to her idly thumbs through pages.

“Yer shitting me, yeah?”

She just shakes her head and smiles into her scope. Soap laughs and removes his homemade bookmark, a pencil sketch of a stake-out view somewhere in Mexico scribbled onto scrap paper. He keeps his thumb on the page and flips through to where hers is, much further along.

“Yer a right romantic, ain’cha Bonnie?” Soap laughs somewhere between the pages and somewhere behind her. “Hmm?” 

“This part, that’ya highlighted,” she hears a well-meaning sneer in his words. “The one you put the hearts by and everything…”

Mouse’s mouth tethers itself into a terse line and she attempts her best noncommittal shrug. 

Somewhere in her line of sight, a mountain shrugs himself chuckling lightly. She wonders what it would feel like, to lay on his broad, muscled chest as he laughs, how closely he would hold her, how she could rest entirely on top of his chest and not touch the ground beneath them and-

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” She lies through her teeth. Soap’s laugh behind her is loud and proud. Suddenly, his casual sadism isn’t so amusing when turned around on her. 

“Do you think it's because I like to look at you and think about eating you up—“ he reads from the book, voice dripping in mock chivalry and breathless romanticism. “About how you would taste?"

She feels her cheeks and ears heat up as Soap loudly proclaims her funeral to all those who may care, and she doesn’t miss the way König leans a little too close to his radio as he goes about mocking her. His stance shifts as if he hangs on the very words like he’s found a secret buried deep in her subconscious. Technically, she has no way of knowing, but Mouse knows in her heart that König is smiling. At least someone is having fun. 

Once Soap comes down from his laughing fit he puts her bookmark back to its spot and talks at the back of her head. 

“With your pressed flower bookmark and everything. Oh, it would be sweet if he wasn’t Hannibal the Cannibal.” Soap hisses out. “I always figured you were…” he pauses searching for the right word, “adventurous from how Gromsko talks bout ya, but seriously cannibalism?”

If she’s not mistaken, König’s hand grips ever so slightly tighter on the radio attached to the best. Maybe the battle plan has to change, but she’s still got some ideas. 

Soap is completely oblivious to the electricity licking up the air between her perch and one man on the ground. He looks around frantically, seemingly desperate to find her, and look in her eyes. Mouse is a sniper, she really should hate the attention, but something fatalistic descends into her smile as she lets Soap continue his little outburst. 

“I swear. You and him, yer sure there’s nothing there? He’s even given you special field medicine lessons, no one gets treatment like that from Gromsko.”

“His name is Sobieslaw.” Notably, it is not a denial. Technically, everything that’s just been said is the truth. 

König’s shoulders rise. 

He looks right down her site. 

She smiles. 

Come and get me, kitty-cat. 

“See! That’s what I’m talking about. You’re the only person who calls him by his first name.”

“Because you never put in the effort to learn it.”

“That don’t mean a thing since I don’t have tits.” 

“You do, just not as good as mine.”

“Aye, off it. Gromsko is into you.” She can hear from the way Soap’s voice carries haphazardly around the room that he is pacing and talking with his hands. She doesn’t turn her back, gaze still fixated on the looming shadow in her sights. Soap continues, entirely unaware of the exact type of beast he is tempting. “He swaggers around you, never even bothers to fucking ask to pick up your boxes, he just does it. His voice gets all soft around ya, too, like he’s cooing at a goddamn pet animal or something. He nearly got into an actual pissing contest with Ghost the other day when he bitched about you beating him in poker. Face the facts, Bonnie, he wants you.” 

König’s eyes have focused with the ferocity of an apex predator and his chest labors out concentrated and sharp inhales and exhales. He resembles a recently sharpened knife, desperate for some carnage after a particular kind of attention. His body is crumpled in on itself not unlike a cat getting ready to pounce. His heels dig desperately into the cobblestones beneath his feet. His hand flicks out his beloved Glock field knife with all the reverence of a praying man.

In short, he looks every part like he does in immediate battle. He looks like he did the split second before he started sprinting for her in the snowy woods, the scene that occupies her lonely nights when she tries in complete vanity to recreate the feel of his hands cradling her sides.

Mouse should be scared of König.

Instead, she sees before her a scene of complete and hopeless adoration focused so intently on her alone that she should be afraid of. Realistically, she recognizes the clear and present danger of the moment. Is König upset at her? At Soap? At a potential adversarial suitor by way of Gromsko? She doesn’t quite know, but after a career of intentionally hiding like a coward, she basks infatuated by the calamitous captivation he exhibits.

He looks like he wants to maul something to death.

As keen as she is on getting him close enough to try to get over to her (and ideally, throw her under him,) in her infinite mercy, Mouse decides the teasing has gone on long enough.

“I like Gromsko just fine, but not like that.” Soap audibly scoffs and König’s entire form relaxes. Both men mutter something to themselves before an encore of gunfire breaks out. Mouse’s heart stutters to a stop when her radio comes in.

“Visual on Gaz, he’s hit!” Nova calls out, clearly alarmed. Soap grabs for the radio right next to Mouse and brings it to his face, holding onto a few loose wires as he does to ensure the amalgamation does not fall apart in his fingers.

“Where is he?”

“Two blocks from south from you, Gromsko is a click out.”

Soap looks at Mouse with his heart bobbing in his throat. The pain and worry on his face is palpable.

“Go.” She says. Soap looks around frantically at their supplies, seemingly taking a split second worth of inventory, making as many life-or-death decisions as he can in such little time.

“Soap, listen to me,” Mouse soothes. “I keep overwatch, you take my TAC vest and stabilize him until he can get a medic.”

“Mouse, I can’t just leave you-” “You can, and you will. Go.” She says with all the finality of a door slamming shut. Soap doesn’t look at her again as he gathers her supplies and nearly sprints downstairs. 

Soap leaves. Quickly. Quietly. He never looks back.

Her stomach settles into discomfort and she looks through the door he closed with the same sad nostalgia she looked through falling snow and monumentous trees. She can’t help but think she would not get the same priority in Gaz’s situation. Like some terrible premonition, she imagines bleeding out on the ground as Soap turns away, never once looking back.

Would König come for me? She ponders, before she smothers the paranoia-induced delusion with the memory of his large hands on her sides. She looks down at her shoelace, where she carved a cylindrical hole through his effigy to attach it. The birchwood mouse carving that sleeps at her right toe gives a silent reassurance: he never really left you, did he?

By the time she looks back into her scope, in between the all-too-familiar white noise of war that’s broken out around her, she sees a shadow dart out from the alleyway one down from where König is. The figure is cloaked in the specific type of military fatigue denoting his affiliation, one that is unluckily for him, kill on sight. It ducks behind the building to the right, where König is. It stalks out, lining itself up behind the hooded man, brandishing a drawn pistol.

König doesn’t have the time to react to the blood spray that litters across his back from the other man’s head once Mouse pulls the trigger on her gun, silently thankful (as awful as it is,) that Gaz getting hurt allowed her to take the shot without Soap inquiring into her actions. (But maybe it’s her fault in the first place that König was distracted enough to allow someone to get the drop on him…)

König looks back towards her and his head lulls to the side like a heavy flower bloom weighed down by morning dew. His eyes, somehow the softest she’s ever seen, are also carving a large chunk of her soul like a knife cuts through soft wood. When he lifts his hood to blow a kiss to her, she knows she will never get her traitorous heart back.

“Danke, mein Engel,” the radio on her table whispers in his voice.

“It’s only fair. I did owe you, after all.” She responds, all together unconcerned with whether or not he can hear her. She smiles, thankful she can see those bright eyes another day. 

When he turns away, she feels her entire heart walk away with him. With every step of his fleeting form, she feels less and less herself, as though someone had separated her shadow from where it meets her feet. Something has changed in the air between them, a sad resignation settles into her trigger finger when she releases it.

For the first time, she does not feel as though she wouldn’t run if he took her, but rather that some integral part of her is with him as he leaves. 

All is fair in love and war, but she’s not sure just how much longer she can stand to play cat and mouse.

taglist!

@kneelingshadowsalome @sprout-fics @bucca2 @dead-cipher @gallowsjoker @lostagoodcigar @berryjuicyy @haisebo @crowbird

And special thanks to @bucca2 and @ivymarquis for finally kicking my ass into gear to write this. Can't wait to read yall's WIPs!

[nburkhardt]

Somebody loves you, you got a friend (part 4)

Part 1, part 2, part 3

Please don’t look too closely at things if it doesn’t make sense…ignore it hahaha. (I edited it and tried keeping to a timeline, but I think screwed up somewhere lol)

Telling Eddie is terrifying.

Steve’s little over a month along, his doctor said something about seven weeks? Maybe eight? He’s not entirely sure to be honest and he’s getting off track right now.

He’s pregnant with Eddie’s baby and he’s currently standing on the stairs of a trailer, specifically, Eddie’s home. He’s nervous and scared, because this is huge and they’ve only been dating for two months. The ultrasound picture in his back pocket is burning a hole and he has to remind himself of his mom’s words.

“You’ll be okay, even if Eddie doesn’t stay”

But god, he wants Eddie to stay.

The door is pulled open and the alpha is all smiles, “Stevie! What a surprise-“ the smile fades a little as Eddie sniffs, “what’s wrong?”

“Can- can I come in?”

Eddie wordlessly moved aside, letting him in before closing the door and he feels eyes on him as he paces. “Stevie, what’s going on?”

He stops and simply pulls out the picture, “um, so, I’ve felt like shit for the last few weeks and my mom had me take this- well- um,”

Steve will be the first to admit; his way with words is absolute shit.

Eddie’s mouth drops as he finally sees the picture. It’s still only a blob, even just looking at the picture he, Steve, can still hear the heartbeat.

The silence is suffocating and they’re still only standing in front of the door, Eddie’s holding the picture in his hands and Steve is biting his bottom lip and shoving his hands in his pockets, then without much thought just blurts out “I’m keeping it”

Eddie just nods and Steve can’t tell if it’s a good nod or a bad nod. But at least he wasn’t thrown out.

“I can- can I?” The alpha mumbles out and looks up at him, he has tears in his eyes, “are- are we okay?”

He doesn’t know what’s been asked, but with the phantom heartbeat beating in his ears and Eddie looking like he does- Steve just moves and wraps his arms around the alpha.

“We- we’re okay. As- as long as you don’t hate me for being a dumbass and not being on birth control”

Eddie’s arms are tight around him and he feels his lips against his temple as a laugh bubbles out of him.

“I think, it’s not just your fault here, Stevie”

~ ~ ~

Telling Eddie’s Uncle Wayne is a whole lot easier than telling his own dad.

Luckily his dad is too afraid of his mom to do anything to him and luckily Eddie’s uncle is a man of little words.

“You both made a mistake,” the older alpha told them, “everything will be okay, I’ll help you both”

And that’s that, from Wayne at least.

His dad, looks at the picture as if it personally offended him, then promptly decides to leave. He doesn’t even yell and doesn’t say all the things Steve isn’t supposed to know about his mom. He packs his stuff, saying “You’ll have everything you need, but I’m leaving”

And once he’s gone?

They technically celebrate. Even though his father just walked out on them all because his son is pregnant at sixteen. He doesn’t want to know how he would’ve reacted if he knew the baby’s father.

His mom is laughing and crying. She has a glass of wine, her hands are shaking. For once he can’t tell how she’s actually feeling. All he knows, her scent filling the room is an odd mix of happiness and sadness.

“Oh Steve, I didn’t-“ she looks sad, but somehow happy, “Baby, him leaving is a good thing. I’m just, overwhelmed. He was,” she shakes her head and grabs his hand to squeeze it, “he wasn’t nice, I should’ve known and should’ve left him a while ago, you’re the only good thing he’s even done to me. I’m sorry I allowed him to be so, so hurtful to you”

He’s going to blame the crying on that he’s pregnant. Even with how much he loves his mom, how much they get along- hearing her apology meant so much.

———

I hope everything seems in line, I’ve been going back and forth on my wording. Tbh it’s probably all over the place still. Anyway, yay Eddie didn’t freak out 🥳 well I mean, he did but he didn’t? Hahaha

Next time we’re going to school AND the CC boys make an appearance ❤️

Taglist: @spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @zerokrox-blog @callme-keys @maya-custodios-dionach @rajumat @yellowdevilkitten @munsonfamilyband @steddierthings @tartarusfairy @mx-jinxous @zombiethingy @lunaticmarunatic @izzy2210 @carlyv @thelittleclare @estrellami-1 @sierra-violet @grtwdsmwhr

(if you would like to be added to this OR my permanent tag list, let me know!!)

[sailoryooons]

Hi lovely! 💞 so months back I first read your work 'gods of the dark' and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! I think I told you this back then too 😅 But anyway the thing is that it's been almost a year and I still can't forget those first two chapters you wrote. Istg that fic is always in the back of my mind. It's my roman empire fr. I still think about it after all this time. So I'm really curious if you will update it? And if yes then how is the progress going? (Pls don't feel any pressure, take your time, I'm just curious that's all 🫂🫶) I just can't wait for a possible next update. Love you and take care! ❣️

Hiiiiii first of all - thank you sOOOO much for loving GotD so much! I am so glad that you like it enough to come back and re-read what is written and to tell me how much you love it - that literally makes me smile so big.

My answer is always I hope so and intend so in regard to updates. I started writing GotD (and the update is legit half written already) and right around that time my work-life balance became absolutely unhinged and I was struggling so much with my series that I just flat out abandoned them because they became so overwhelming.

I've had two new jobs since I started writing GotD and moved across the country for the most recent one only a month ago, so I'm hoping that like... I am finally settled and can sort of get back to normalcy I haven't had the last year. My busy season is ending soon and I would love to take the slow season to get back into writing regularly and finishing specifically GotD.

I think a little bit of it is also me needing to re-read the fic and fall back in love with it, if that makes sense? The last year became so difficult for me personally that I really... emotionally divorced myself from so much of my writing in order to not let it overwhelm me and now I'm like ... okay how do I fall back in love with those works and motivate myself? Is that weird? hahaha

ALL THIS TO SAY - thank you so much. I will definitely do my best to complete that story and give everyone who has been really patient and understanding with me an ending they deserve!!

[humanpurposes]

Read both De Facto and De Jure and the timing is just perfect because ever since the premiere pics came out, I have been looking for modern!Aemond and these fics truly delivered!! I don’t know what it is but Ewan’s green carpet look emphasized his eyes more. Oh god, it’s so hypnotic and it’s exactly what I imagined reading in Aemond especially in De Jure when he was convincing our OC to take the position. His stare is soft yet dare I say it, slightly manipulative because he knows the power of those damned eyes.

Has Aemond had relations with Alys? Or is she just really good at reading people and situations? Because she said Aemond was sweet but gorgeous for his own good, which made me think he had done this before only for the person to either get sloppy at work or want more - both of which Aemond couldn’t afford to have happen to him at that ime hence why personal advisors could only last two years. Or when Alys warned her, was it about how Aemond would possibly entrap her?

Is OC older than Maris? To me it looked like Maris was hoping she’s get private sessions with Aemond and is pissed because she thought OC is stealing him from her. Alys is right, she sounds desperate, which is why I thought her younger.

Also as someone with a degree in International Relations this made me excited hahaha. You don’t know how happy I am that OC does her job well before sleeping with Aemond and she’s got a Master’s too. I’m not sure how Otto knew of her involvement in handling Aegon but I think he was also onboard because OC is the entire package - she’s smart, capable, and has a clean record. I don’t think Otto cares about her personally but he cares that she can make Aemond look good and actually deliver in his duty. I mean they make the ultimate power couple and it’ll surely secure the Greens position in parliament.

I also remembered the background check, does this mean Aemond was already looking for a potential partner/wife even then?

Lastly I’m imagining what will happen now that she agreed. Will Aemond suggest they drop little hints of their relationship? Or will they just surprise everyone with a bomb that Aemond is going to be engaged, they kept their relationship on the down low but now that OC proved her worth, they wanted to come clean, etc to endear them even more to the people. Wanted to ask yout thoughts on it! Hehe

Thanks so much for reading!! ✨

De Jure has been in my drafts for MONTHS and the pics from last night catapulted me right back into the PM!Aemond brainrot and I have many thoughts 🤩

I see Alys as being a very intelligent and observant person, who sees through others easily and who also lives for the dramaaaa. In my head, nothing's happened between her and Aemond, but I can see them being a bit flirty haha. Alys won't know exactly what's going on in Aemond's head, but she would have picked up on the initial attraction and known something was going on as things developed between Aemond and pov character. Aemond is the PM, he's also only a piece in the Hightower political machine, so I think her warning comes from genuine concern. He's "too gorgeous for his own good," because he's charming, handsome, and he draws people in. Aemond will have been taught to be strategic and opportunistic, so he'd use that all to his advantage.

Thinking about it, it would make sense for Maris to be a year older than pov character because Maris' contract runs a year ahead of her's. I included her as a bit of a reference to F&B but Maris kind of demonstrates the extent of Aemond's attractiveness? People chase his approval but not everyone will get his favour.

Omg yes!! I did Politics and IR at uni and this is probably the best use I've made of my degree. The idea for this fic started off as a joke but I genuinely enjoyed thinking about the modern Westerosi political system and all the details.

It would have been on Aemond's mind that having a partner and a family would benefit his image, but this scenario specifically was a mix of coincidence and strategy. The way things worked out, he meets his new advisor, intrigued by her application, but he doesn't expect to be attracted to her. He'd try to restrain these feelings and rationalise them, but he's also a bit insane which is why he does the background check, he wants to know everything about her. If Otto knows who she is it's because Aemond talks about her. The fact that she's intelligent and capable would only make him more attracted to her. I think it's a slow process of realising that he wants her to be with him permanently, especially seeing how well she handles a crisis. Once the seat opens for Duskendale, that's when he'd put forward the idea to Otto and Alicent. It's a bit of a cop out for the Greens that Aegon has been dismissed for inappropriate behaviour, so they replace him with a young woman to get away from that image of misogyny. The Blacks have Jace but the Greens have a selling point of female empowerment which is why Otto and Alicent are happy to go along with it. It's a win-win for Aemond, he retains his power in Parliament and he can get the girl he wants.

I think they'd just drop the announcement. Aemond and the Greens wouldn't want a lot of speculation around the circumstances of their relationship and they'd try to direct the focus on the election. It's certainly one way to get publicity!

[somedeepmystery]

These retreat mentions share more if you are ready and want too :)

I will admit that I’m not sure it will ever be ready to post, but I do have a two sentence synopsis. But the bitch is 375k (absolutely ridiculous) which makes it difficult to fit into any size synopsis.

Elevator pitch: Two people with disastrous sex lives are matched together on an exclusive sex retreat, and the sparks fly. Months later, fate brings them together again but, to have any chance at a real relationship, they’ll have to overcome past traumas, personal conflicts, long distance, and a hidden connection that puts them both in the cross-hairs of a maniac.

(If you don’t like sex scenes, this fic is not for you.)

Getting Illya to go to a sex retreat? I know, I know, friend. It did take work. lol

I want to give a list of tropes but I’m drawing a blank, except for the most important one, lol, the Size Kink. Hahaha! Most important one to know going in, anyway. 😂

Gaby’s owns an automobile manufacturing company, Schmidt Automotive, which she inherited from her foster father. Things are going well in that department, but her sex/dating life is in the trash. All the men she dates end up being selfish/clueless in bed. After a particularly disappointing (insulting) encounter, she gets a call from long time rival Victoria, offering her a free trip: to an exclusive, tailored, sex retreat.

She doesn’t take her up on it immediately but eventually decides that, since she can turn down the person she is paired with, she might as well give it a try.

Illya owns/operates a company that offers security and protection services. His sex life also sucks-- mostly because of his, shall we say, anatomy? It’s more than a little intimidating. It sucks, sure, especially since his last long time girlfriend dumped him over it. **  He is ready to just deal with it, but his partner and foster brother, Solo, is not ready to leave things be and decides to but him a trip to this very exclusive retreat where they are experts at matching people up for sex. Illya immediately rejects this but, after some time and trials, he decides that doing something different is better than just doing nothing/same thing over and over. He decides to take a chance.

After a slightly awkward beginning to their first meeting, things between them go VERY WELL. In fact, it’s almost like they were made for each other somehow. Problem? This retreat was only supposed to be a one weekend deal. While Illya is hoping she’ll be willing to keep in touch, Gaby and her abandonment issues are immediately in retreat because of how much she actually likes the person behind all the great sex. She leaves without exchanging numbers, or even last names.

Six months later, her company is experiencing a security issue. Important, proprietary information has been leaked to the competition: Vinciguerra Motors! Waverly sets about hiring a security expert to come in and close the gaps. And who walks into Gaby’s conference room but the guy she left behind at the sex retreat. The guy she has totally not been thinking of ever since.

ANYWAY - there’s more after that, because it’s like three books in one lol, but that’s as long of a post as I want to make. Writing it all out makes me see how ridiculous it all is. But, in my defense, when I was originally writing it, it was just for funsies, so I wasn’t trying to make it make sense.

Hope that gave you a little of what you are looking for, anon. And it’s not just torture for something that will never be, because I cannot guarantee I will ever post it.

**all the tictok girlies calling out how ridiculous large dicks are in romances/erotica is so funny to me now because, yeah a huge dick seems normal when you read this shit but in reality? Sure. Illya's dick is too big, that's literally the point. *snerk* (Also, I started writing this Dec 2015, friends. And the idea was born after watching Magic Mike XXL, bwahahahahaha!)

[rahleeyah]

heyyyyyyyy d.c. anon here. Just wanted to say that I appreciate you sm. Like seriously. You take the time to listen and answer not only me but so many others with a rationality that is often needed. With that being said…

I wanted to give myself a couple days before asking anything bc I honestly didn’t know how I felt. I know I needed to give myself time to calm down from how I felt in the moment. I was absolutely heartbroken and gutted with what we got vs what was promo’d.

I feel like I went through the stages of grief lol. Eventually landing on acceptance that maybe that scene was possibly an ending and not a beginning? I can’t shake that feeling. I hope that I’m wrong. Genuinely. What do you think? Any reality where that might be where we’re headed?

But I can’t help but feel that having her say that she wasn’t ready three times and ending the scene with them apart feels like a sign? It would give both shows an out to move on? ::le sigh:: Idkkkkkkkkk lol.

Small disclaimer: I am still in my feels a little and I know that. So my negative thoughts are being fully acknowledged here. as well, I know everything that m has said and everything coming from the sr’s before the season started leans to the positive.

But I just can’t help but feel betrayed and strung along. To have invested decades to just be bamboozled feels… I can’t think of a word atm. I used to watch this show with my grandma on sick days when I was 12. I now have a toddler running around.

another disclaimer: there were positive things in the scene and I am also acknowledging that. I could go in forever but will spare you hahaha. The whole situation just makes me feel blah.

I understand why you feel like this and I appreciate you coming here and being honest (and self-aware!). it's been a few days since you sent this and I hope you're feeling better now. I don't share that particular feeling; I don't think they're ever gonna actually walk away from eo. whether we actually get to see them canon before the final episode of svu I also can't say, but they're not gonna close the door while the possibility is raking in the viewers. whatever it is, however long they intend to string us along, I don't think this was an actual ending. that would be a shitty business move lmao

it feels like tptb decided to step in an stretch it all out a little, but what we saw of the dialogue that was edited out doesn't really put eo in a better spot than where the episode left them. it looks like it was never the intent for this moment to be a real coming together, and we are where we would have been even if we'd gotten the material from the promos; eo were physically close and Elliot is sure but liv's not ready. the hug would've smoothed things out a little, would have been a more hopeful note to end on, but it doesn't really change that liv's not ready.

which makes sense. it hasn't been that long, really, since Elliot came back, and his wife is dead, and for so much of that time eo haven't been communicating at all, and yes the show has been going on for 24 years but it wasn't until Kathy died that eo was ever even possible, and even then it wasn't possible while Elliot was processing, and then undercover. they haven't really been flirting around the edges of this for 24 years; they spent 12 years telling themselves it was never gonna happen and ten years thinking they were never gonna see each other again and for the last two years there's only been a few months when el's head was clear and they seemed possible. this is, despite out impatience, still incredibly new for them.

so have hope, is what I'm saying. maybe not hope that we'll see them kiss before we all retire, but hope that this is not the end.

[starjxsung]

HAI STAR I AM BACK FROM EUROPE !!! I got home like two hours ago :3 feels SO good to be back in my own room in my own bed - showered, have laundry going, AND I UNBOXED MY LIMITED EDITION ATE ALBUM I BOUGHT IN COPENHAGEN (posted a pic on tumblr if ya wanna check it out hehe) ... work and school emails can wait until tmrw... RAHHH it's been so long lemme go through your last few responses to my messages since last time I responded Summer if FLYINGGG wahhh I can't believe I start school in a month! I've seen bits and pieces of what you've said about ATEEZ and Lolla and they both sound RAHHHHH I'm so glad you had fun and meet up with your older sister (for ATEEZ) (though the sunburn does NOT sound fun) and I'm glad you were able to stay safe (?) and be responsible and help that girl out (at Lolla) As for South Africa guy... So basically once I went on the trip we didn't talk cause he was on his trip and I was on mine but I did send him a long ass message about what was going on in my brain (after confirming that he would be okay and welcoming to that sort of messages since we couldn't talk it out at the time) and explaining to him how hurt I really was? but like in a respectful and calm manner. Idk it was longggggg mostly cause I over(?)think or like have many thoughts because while I did want to explain that I was hurt, I also wanted to make it clear that I saw where he was coming from and wasn't telling him to hurt him or make him feel bad if that makes sense. Anyways, seeing as I JUST got back and he just got back a few days ago (with covid nonetheless), we have yet to talk about it and he has yet to respond to my long ass message. (also for background info in case I forgot to tell you, yes we did end up talking about where our relationship is a little bit ago before this whole ghosting thing happened and bascially we ended up with "committed relationship w/o lables" because apparently I have baggage (anxiety) attached to the term "girlfriend" from my last relationship LOL hahaha but yeah so basically agreeing to be "committed" and then this happening kinda just made it feel a lot worse aslkjdf) anyways what im left with now is feelings of residual hurt, uncertainty, and genuninely questioning how comfy I am in this relationship now... but I shall wait until we actually properly talk about it hahaha... also... did you actually raw dog your flights... how do you do that omg I will like do that for periods of time but usually I have music going for most of it... (today during my flight from Amsterdam (layover) to where I live I watched one of my fav comfort movies three times in a row (it's Zootopia LMAO)) Europe Trip stuff: my fave part was def the guided, all inclusive tour we did of Norway country side form Voss to Bergen - it was hiking, biking, and kayaking! I died physically (i mean like one of the days was 61 km of biking... and we were doing stuff for 6 days) BUT EVERYTHING WAS SO PRETTY AND THE WEATHER WORKED OUT AMAZINGLY usually its rainy and dreary and cloudy (like where I live - honestly norway looks like exactly where I live) but it was SUNNY the WHOLE time!! I got to swim in the fjords and go fishing (I LOVE fishing...) and just take in all the nature as I hiked and biked etc... and my younger brothers and I made some friends with another family on the tour (there were four other families in total) - this family had three boys - two 17 y/o twins and a 14 y/o - they were so much fun tbh LOL the 14 y/o was very mature tho (maybe more than his brothers tbh) I thought he was like 17 when I first met him and thought his brothers were like 20 LMAO they're all tall- anyways, the 14 y/o, he thought I was like 15 when we first met (I think he developed a crush on me ngl by the end of the tour lol) anyways ya it was fun !!! sorry for the LONGGG life update... HOW ARE YOU DOING STARRR

ily always 💕🫶💖 🌱

RAHHHHHH MY ANGELLLLL I’VE MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH IM SO SORRY FOR NOT BEING ON HERE IN A MILLION YEARS I swear time has just moved so weird ever since lolla I still feel like I came back yesterday????? WTAF…… ANYWAYS!!! EUROPE!!!!! AND SCHOOL!!!!! HOW WAS EUROPE and how is school going (I’m assuming you started again???) I hope it’s going so well!!!!! I’ve been crazy busy at work it’s insane, I swear the work is just nonnnnnstop it’s making me want to die 😭 what’s crazy is that I started this blog bc I always had so much free time and now I can barely stay online bc I always have some shit going on at work it’s so frustrating RAHHHH

Ugh. I can’t believe all the confusion??? With South Africa guy????? First of all I totally understand your hesitation for an “official title” bc shitty relationships will definitely do that to you 🧍‍♀️but his communication fr seems so spotty 😭 anyways I’m assuming he responded to the message by now (I’d be scared if he didn’t????) but I hope there’s some form of resolution there? I mean he sounds like a catch and I’m so glad you guys get along well and seem to have mutual feelings for each other but it really sucks when that’s the case and then it just quickly turns into a guy completely wasting your time 😕 waiting for more updates but I just don’t want you to end up getting hurt by all of this!! I’ll beat his ass frfr

AHHHH THAT SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH FUN I would’ve been dying from all the physical activity too I don’t blame you LMAO 😭 I’m so glad you met so many cool people (and even had someone develop a lil crushy crush on you HAHAHA) but that sounds amazing!!! Also how was the kpop store there??? I hope it was everything you dreamt of AAAAA it’s so much fun to find kpop stuff in places away from home 😭 I haven’t been to a kpop store in months now but I’m aiming to go this Thursday for a FAT shopping trip. Will keep u posted 😋🤞

ANYWAYS I AM GOOD I’ve just been crazy busy and I feel really bad that I’ve been so bad about being on here ???!,!.!.!.! Also working thru Kinktober and my eyes are burning out of my skull from all my screen time but. WORTH IT……

I love you so so so much I need a million more updates so I know all’s still well with you! Sending all my love as USUALLLLL 💓💓💓💓🫶👼

[heresmaitake]

Happy, happy end of the weekend!

It's 22:30 now, and the weekend is almost over. I just want to pour out my feelings again (as I always do), so here it is.

Sometimes, I feel sad when I realise that things that used to excite me no longer hold the same meaning. It's as if I've finally let go, and while this realisation brings a sense of relief, it also leaves me feeling a bit sad. How can I explain it? For example, when I was in high school, I had a favourite group of singers, and I was so obsessed with them. I watched every TV show that featured them, bought their albums, and felt heartbroken when a member decided to leave the group. The funniest thing was that I used to wish that in the future, when I became an adult, had a more stable life and a partner, I would watch their concert with my partner.

But then, in my second year of university, I didn't really care about them anymore. I didn't follow their activities or even know they had released a new album. My attention had shifted because I was busy with other things. One day, I suddenly realised that this group I used to love so much no longer held the same meaning for me. Watching them was no longer as fun as it used to be, and whatever happened to that group didn't affect my feelings anymore. This group is still active now, but when another member left, it didn't even affect me. I didn't even know she left until I read someone's tweet about it.

Honestly, I feel relieved that whatever happens to this group doesn't affect me anymore. But at the same time, the memories of loving this group so much make me feel bittersweet. I think, "Oh, I used to love them so much, listened to their music 24/7, was so happy when I bought their albums, and was thrilled when they won awards." Now, I feel like I'm cutting ties with them because I don't find anything related to them fun anymore. While I'm happy that my obsession with them has ended, there's a strange feeling that I've moved on from them. They will always be something I treasure from the past. They are a part of my history, but not my present.

A part of my life has finally come to an end, and though I'm ready to embrace many better things, the reality is still somehow sad. Not being able to enjoy the things I used to be so obsessed with is a bittersweet feeling.

And I still feel like this nowadays. I used to really love a K-drama called Hospital Playlist. It is a slice-of-life drama that helped me get through the COVID phase, and it was, and still is, special to me. But I've moved on bit by bit from being totally obsessed. I rewatched it so many times in the past, and it's not even a romcom, it's my first time being so obsessed with a slice of life show. Even my friend told me yesterday that when Hospital Playlist 2 was still airing and even months after that, I was crazy obsessed. She said I couldn’t even leave home on the airing day. And yes, that’s the truth. I would take a shower, eat my dinner, finish all my on going projects and make sure I didn’t need to go to the toilet because I had to watch the drama on streaming at 8 pm, even though I don’t understand Korean. :'D

Probably because when the first few episodes of Hospital Playlist 2 was airing, I got infected with COVID, and it was the Delta variant. So, I was isolated in my bedroom for a month, and because of that, my obsession with Hospital Playlist was crazy, hahaha. I had a boyfriend at that time, but from what I remember, I kind of ditched him because of my love for Hospital Playlist. We had some problems too (anw this relationship was beyond repair at that time), and strangely my relationship problem wasn’t relevant to me at that time. I didn’t even care if he wanted to break up, that's how unhealthy my obsession was with Hospital Playlist. Last year, they released the Bluray of the drama after two years, and I bought it thinking the clips would make me as excited as I used to be, but it didn’t bring the same joy. I still felt a bit happy watching the Bluray clips, but I haven’t finished watching it until now because I have other things that excite me more.

So yeah, in life, I don’t think I can control to whom or what I fall for. By fall for, I mean like in life, we can fall for a person, a show, a group, a celebrity, an actor, an anime, and we can get super obsessed because we made them our whole personality to the point it affects our lives. But believe me, some obsessions are normal, and with time, if we know our limits and don't get overly obsessed, we'll let go of them. We might think, "Argh, I hate that I get too attached to this thing or this person. I want to detach so bad. I don't want them to affect my life," but the first thing we need to do is just to feel it, feel our emotion. I currently have something I'm so attached to that, to be honest, I feel hopeless at times because I want to detach asap. I hate that this thing affects my daily life, but I understand that every day I get better. Every day, I detach a little more, even if it's just 0.01%. I remember what my therapist said two years ago "You can't heal what you don’t feel." So I'm just going to feel it, even when I have to cry because of it, because I know this too shall pass. And maybe in the future, I'll have a new obsession. HAHAHA

[rr1cc]

Hello, Gab

It's been a long time hahahaha, kumusta kana? I know that you are happy right now and enjoying life. I am sorry that we ended that way in the night of January, I was just shocked and confused that I acted that way. I am not mad; it's completely understandable and valid what you did that night, you have every right to feel that. I messaged you last night and waited because I can't hold it anymore and say that "l miss you so much" and I know I can't say that now kasi you have a partner na and nakakasama mo pa araw araw, and you blocked me right away; you said to me your DM is open for me anytime but I completely understand why you did that, I am not mad, I'm just feeling heavy for the last 3 months and I just really need to say it because I can't hold it anymore and I think I'm gonna explode if I let it keep it on me any longer.

I know everyone said "You will find someone better." But what they don't understand is for me only "us" makes sense and that you were never just 'someone' to me; you were my moment of clarity in a world full of chaos. With you, the simplest moments turned extraordinary, and now, the absence of your presence leaves a silence too loud to bear. I've tried to embrace the loneliness, to find happiness in the memories we shared, yet each one is a reminder of a future we'll never have. It's a journey of one step forward and two steps back, where moving on feels less like healing and more like leaving behind a part of myself. I know this isn't what I should be doing learning from loss, Yet, as I face each day without you, I can't help but wonder if "better" is just a illusion.

How do you let go of the best you've ever had, and open your heart to the possibility of a new "better" hahahaha

I know you will say to me if you read this "Move on from me" but Natatakot ako na baka hindi ko na maalala ang boses mo. Araw araw kita iniisip, dahilan ng araw araw na pagluha. At kahit alam ko na hindi kana babalik Kung sakali man mangyari iyon Ikuwento mo sa akin ang mga bagay na ginawa mo noong wala ako. Dahil kahit magkalayo tayo, gusto ko pa rin malaman ang mga bagay na bago sa'yo.

I really want to know

that sometimes I questioned the sky Do you ever cry over me? Just a sudden question I had in mind In your crowded, lonely city. Do you ever think of me again after we left? Or did you remove me entirely? Well, I did. I cried over you, not proud to admit it, I just can't get over you. All the things I shared with you All the places you shared with me with us going there It still ends with you because losing you took some humanity in me.

I always think of the first day we met and I can't help but dreamed a scenario when "Maybe in 5 years, decades, or 20 years later, our paths will cross again I will tell you how desperately in love I was with you and we can laugh about how we broke each other's hearts"

hahahaha such a dream I have. Maybe we will meet again, when we're slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I'll be right to you and you'll be right to me because for me, only 'us' makes sense, only 'you' makes sense.

Binabantayan parin kita, hindi mo lang alam hahahaha and I'm crying while typing this about you 3 buwan palang nakakalipas pero parang 10 taon na tayong hindi nag-uusap habambuhay kitang aantayin na parang ulilang aso hahaha and in the future; if you ever find yourself in the position to love again. fall in love with me, because I am here waiting you for all of that years.

Kaya if there are days when you feel unloved, please remember me I know we do not speak anymore but I still wake up every morning with new stories to tell you

and a love that waits for you I wish I could call you now and hear your voice. I understand why you wouldn't answer. but for a while it was love, wasn't it? for me it was love hahahaha I'd let you break my heart a million times I wouldn't want you to but I'll let you I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way.

And I don't think you even realized but you're the kind of person that fills up infinity, the kind of person whose happiness fills the air like rays of sunshine. The person that a thousand stars wouldn't compareto.

You're the kind of person Alex Turner and John Green would write about and the kind of in teenage literature novels with happy endings. The kind of person who never gives up, the kind of who teaches you what it is to love,

to hope,

and to feel. and I don't know if you know, but you're the kind of person poets write about, the kind of person no poem would be enough for.

I know you are thinking "Why would you wait for me", all I can say about that is It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.

We are the embodiment of "Right Person, Wrong Time" and I don't say it because it's not that i wish i never met you, but because it's that i wish i could've met you later on down my life. I'd do anything to meet future you. I'd do anything to meet you once you've grown up and realize what's important. There's no one quite like you. I hope future you is single.

Take however much time you need and If you're thinking "Why are you doing all of this" It's because you're it for me. Whether it's today, tomorrow, a year or decades from now, that'll never change," You are my poem and always will be.

And don't feel pressured to reply on this hahaha, you can just read it and go on with your day

And lastly, I am just thinking the times when we are still together, and I only worry not that our love won't endure but I worry because if we live to be 100 and I get 80 years years with you, how am I to fit all my love for you into just 80 years and that is why I know there will be something after this and wherever that will be, we will find each other there just like we found each other here. Despite an ocean between us (literally) hahahaha and a million reasons we should have never crossed paths, the term "we were meant to be" is the only thing in the world I'm sure of.

Gab, honeyfangs, my bunny (hahahah), my Zing, Veena, my Jian and most of all, Bali, I will love you forever, for eternity and that still won't be enough but I promise to do that. I promise that I will be your everlasting home that you can come back when life gets a little mean to you. I love you for everything you are now and everything you will ever become. Spending my life loving and waiting for you will be the greatest thing I will ever do.

a certain someone, a place you can always call "home"

─ Dos

[rosecoloredknight]

Sarah

Anon,

I have to be honest, that name made me think of the only Sarah I've known in my life. At least so far. We're no longer friends— that's not a correct way to put it because I have absolutely no resentment towards her? I actually appreciate her or who i knew then? Aghh, I'm not making sense. What I am trying to say is that we are no longer a part of each other's life. But that's okay!! It's just something that happened? Do i miss them? Am i getting sad thinking about them? YES, Yes. That's why I was and am so confused about this ask. Do i answer this? HOW DO I ANSWER THIS?

Sooooo I then spent like twenty minutes scrolling through my blog to see if i reblogged an ask game that had names on it just in case? WAIT —okay, i checked again and nothing?

..Was this more of a 'talk about the Sarah's or Sarah I know' thing? I feel rude and intrusive speaking about someone without their permission or knowledge :/ but I know I have a "right" to speak about whatever and whomever — SIGH.

I think she blocked me, which again i was okay with because i think i asked her to, plus she has a right to do so if she wanted to, BUT

Sarah if you ever see this and you want this deleted, just let me know 👍🏼

Full disclosure, people grow and are not necessarily who they were in the past. This is my recollection or perspective of how i saw them and knew them then.

First off, she was smart, thoughtful, well opinionated if I may add, funny, FUN, a dork and supportive. She was one of my best friends 😊😊

One thing about our friendship that i loved so much was that we didn't have to force anything. It was or at least, for me, it felt so easy to talk to them about anything.

I stll remember that time she told me, "when i say im here for you i don't want you to say okay and never reach out. i want you to message me." Something like that. I appreciated that accountability so much because it was true. Some people say that and don't mean it and some people say okay but don't reach out. She taught me accountability when it came to wanting each other involved and being there for each other when able to.

She's super artistic and creative!? she crotched two stuffed animals!? She's an excellent baker!! I miss her cookies so much. She bought me insomnia cookies? And as much as i appreciate it and enjoyed them, NONE of them compared to the homemade cookies she sent. Yummm.

I'm someone who loves trying my friends interests once I deeply care about them. I'm saying that because she got me into chocolate covered strawberries for a bit hahaha, and I also bought some trunks from meundies thanks to her!! Speaking of which, EITHER I HAVE A BIG BUTT (WHICH I DO), AND BIG THIGHS OR THE MATERIAL IS CHEAP QUALITY because those underwears didn't last me a month or two before they ripped 😮‍💨. It's probably my fault because I i used them for jogging as well.

I miss her smile, her evergreen sea eyes, her humor, her randomness, her friendship.

I hope she's doing well in graduate school, if she hasn't already graduated?? I hope she's updated the Wreaths for fall, I hope life is treating her well and that she's doing okay. I hope that groundhog is still being a menace. I hope Pegasus is doing well. I hope she already wore those same leggings/outfit she uses for Halloween every year for the past 3 years? haha. I hope she's excited for the next three months. I hope life keeps blessing her. Most importantly, i hope she knows that no matter what happened between us, I will always be grateful for her 😊😊😊

—

Okay, i gotta go for a jog before the heavy thunderstorms hit. Thanks for this ask, anon. I'm sad now. I'LL BE FINEEEE 😊

Sorry for the typos!! I'm not proof reading and fixing till later!!

[sometimesanalice]

OH BETH!! 😭💖

These two are my absolute favorite on my masterlist! I knew I wanted to revisit them to show what a sweet life they have in the future, but it had been a minute since I'd written for them. And I am SO BEYOND THRILLED that you liked this one because I was a bit nervous about it!

They have so much history together and know each other so well since they grew up with each other. But their partnership as a couple is so special to me and it makes me so happy that those things I love most about them are the same things you like about them too! 💖

more for you!

And the descriptions of all the smells and the food cooking and the decorations was just so special! I wanted to be there with them so badly! I've never experienced Thanksgiving but you've made it sound so magical-- you let me know and I'll send you some of my favorite recipes! Haha! Its usually so much work for 20 minutes of eating (like any holiday, lol) but who doesn't love an excuse to eat too much tasty food?!

You are also the QUEEN of details - there are so many highlights that make your fics come alive - like using the "Men love bitches" book as decorations, "In Ina we trust" and Fanboy's "second dinner"-- I always hope my writing it a little immersive? it's probably why my fics are so long, but I do love folding in little tidbits to make it come to life! The "men love bitches" book becoming holiday decor absolutely sent me into a fit of giggles when I thought of it!

He doesn’t miss the way your eyes dip down to his ass in his gray slacks. So he might linger as second longer than necessary to let you enjoy the view, since it’s for the female gaze and all. 😂 This made me chuckle, he's a feminist, our Bradley 😂-- HE IS A FEMINIST! I mean that strut, he did it for US! He's so cheeky for this, hahaha

He knows you’re pretty sure it was the spontaneous hook up in the storage closet at the Hard Deck on the Fourth of July that’s responsible for the noticeable bump you’re sporting. Call him a romantic, but he likes to think it was that night in the Bronco overlooking the ocean when he’d taken the long way back home. 

AND THEY'RE HAVING A BABY 😭 Sobbing with so many happy tears 😭-- THEY'RE (already, lol) GOING TO BE PARENTS! I love a little unexpected twist and doing a reveal! I also love how they have differing opinions on which evening sealed the deal, lol. Their family makes me so happy!

Mav has dressed your almost two-year-old son in a soft, plush turkey costume that is complete with tailfeathers and a beak. He’s clearly a fan of the outfit too because he is grinning widely, showing more of the baby teeth that have come in over the last few months.

AHHHH THEY ALREADY HAD A BABY?!? Oh I bet Cooper is just the cutest most gorgeous little turkey ever! 🥹😭-- ANOTHER SURPRISE! I just can't help myself! Cooper is absolutely the cutest turkey ever with those chubby cheeks and little curls! He inherited a big smile from his dad too 🥰

“Yeah, Dad,” Bradley says, clearing his throat a bit, “Everything’s perfect.” ALEXA YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. It's all too much 😭😭😭- i am forever yodeling THAT'S HIS DAD! But its one thing for him to think it and another to say it? And I really wanted it to be such a normal exchange for them? that they've been able to achieve that sense of family again!

He’s going to have three little turkeys running around this time next year and he couldn’t wait.//Cooper and him were going to be outnumbered soon.//The two of you had found out earlier in the month that Everly Caroline Bradshaw and Olivia Saylor Bradshaw were going to be the newest members to join your little family.-This fic was so full of the best kinds of surprises! I ADORED IT-- OH YAYYYYY!! I am so happy you liked thisss! It made me all happy and cozy to write!

In a Place Just Right

Summary: It's your first year hosting Thanksgiving in San Diego for the Daggers and Bradley can tell you're a little nervous about it. But he already knows it's going to be one for the books, because any holiday spent with you better than anything he could have imagined.

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Female Reader

Length: 5K

Warnings: fluff and allusions to smut (minors dni)

(author's note: this fic is set in the 'Like I Can Universe', but can be read on it's own! Happy Thanksgiving, friends!)

For the last six years Penny has been the one to host Daggersgiving, but this year hostess duties had fallen on your plate. Needless to say, Bradley knew you were more than a little stressed about it.

When you had asked him about his opinion on the merits of canned cranberry sauce versus homemade he’d blinked at you a few times before asking, “Is this a thing people care about?”

He’ll never forget how adorably aghast you looked to learn that he had no preference on the matter. And maybe if you had asked him when the sun was up instead of at 3 AM he might have known better than to give you such a noncommittal answer.

“Both, we’ll have both,” you’d stated resolutely.

“Whatever you want, kid," he’d murmured as he’d pulled you to his chest and wrapped an arm around your stomach. His smart and beautiful wife. "Now go back to sleep, you’re supposed to be dreaming of sugarplums not cranberries."

“Wrong holiday, Bradley,” you’d sighed contentedly, relaxing against him. And it hadn’t taken you long to fall back asleep with that cranberry crisis having been averted.

But now people were due to show up in less than an hour and you are frantically fluttering and huffing around the kitchen like a madwoman in a very pretty green dress, "I knew that quickie was a bad idea. You're never quick, Bradley."

He’d been away and missed many holidays over the years due to his career.

Your mom had always made it clear that he had an open invitation to join in whatever merry festivities were happening with your family, but more often than not it rarely aligned with him being stationed all over the world. But he’d always been happy to get to have a phone call with you and eat the homemade cookies you’d sent him on those years spent apart.

But now Bradley got to look forward to spending every holiday with you in the home you shared with him.

Over the last week the house had slowly but surely transformed into something that was straight out of a magazine.

There was a display of pumpkins, ribbons, and a garland of strung dried orange slices that decorated the fireplace. And overpriced candles from your favorite store flickered cheerfully on every surface that wasn’t a fire hazard to a bunch of enthusiastic Naval aviators. The dining table was dressed up to the nines and everyone spot with their names painstakingly written in your pretty script on a place card sitting in a pinecone.

You had even made some oversized confetti in the shape of oak leaves out of some old books, the copy of ‘Why Men Love Bitches’ that Nat had given him years ago as a joke was finally repurposed and recycled into something more festive over where the beverages had been set up.

The whole house smells amazing. Warm cinnamons and nutmegs mixing with bright citrus and rich vanillas. The kitchen island and countertops were filled with various plates and platters and bowls of dips, charcuterie, fruit and vegetables, nuts, and other savories. All the other dishes were being kept warm in the ovens for when everyone arrived and was ready to settle around the dining table for dinner.

Bradley was positive that no one would leave feeling hungry. He also wasn’t entirely sure where the things his friends are bringing were going to go, but there were worse problems to have.

Penny had taken Amelia with her to visit her family on the East Coast. They’d decided it would probably be better for Mav to hang back in San Diego for the holiday, those tensions with her dad were still a bit strained even though they’d been married for almost four years now.

Which is how the Bradshaw’s were hosting their first Thanksgiving for everyone.

This morning had been organized chaos. Some of the last minute-things had only managed to be checked off with the assistance of strong coffee and a good playlist.

However, he’d still managed to sneak in the opportunity to spin you around the kitchen to your wedding song when it came up on shuffle. After all the cranberries were still popping and boiling down; there was time for it, he'd always make time for it.

But that was then.

Now, you are glaring at him like you’d been personally victimized by him and his cock.

“You complaining, sweet girl?” he asks with a smirk, leaning his hip against the kitchen island watching as you briskly stir the gravy heating up in the copper sauce pot on the stove. “Don’t think that’s what I was hearing thirty minutes ago when we had that pretty green dress of yours bunched around your hips. Sounded something like ‘more, Bradley, more’ to me.”

You shoot him a look that would make a weaker man wither, but he’s built up an immunity to it over a lifetime of having it directed at him.

“I think that’s quite enough out of you,” you reprimand, but he sees the amusement in your eyes even as you fight to keep the annoyed façade on your face. “We’re behind schedule now. I thought I buffered in enough time, just in case-”

“Just in case you begged me to give you an orgasm to, and I quote, ‘help me chill out’?”

“I was kidding,” you say, stopping your agitated whisking to go fluff the stuffing instead.

“All I’m saying is that if my beautiful wife is begging for me, I’m certainly not going to say no. I’m only human,” he says with an all too pleased shrug.

Bradley grabs the can opener and works on opening the canned cranberry sauce. He reaches for a couple plates, holding them up for your approval and you point to the one on the right. The scalloped white one with gold rim it'll be.

“For the record, I certainly did not beg,” you say primly, glowering into the homemade stuffing that you’d had him get the bread from the nice bakery across town for.

“Sure, sure,” he drawls, the smirk growing wider on his face as he sets to freeing the jelly from its rippled container.

He knows he shouldn’t tease you right now, but you’re so cute when you get huffy that he can’t help himself. He’s known that petulant raise of your chin his whole life. And sometimes when he looks at you he can so clearly see the little girl he’d been forced to entertain for hours when your moms were hanging out.

You went from being his favorite nuisance to his best friend to his everything.

“Do I still look ok? Or do I need to do a quick refresh before everyone gets here?” you ask. You turn to fully face him, tilting your head one way and then another for his inspection.

He would happily stare at you all day if you’d let him. He loves your pretty eyes and what you’ve done with your hair.

“You’re beautiful,” he grins, “And if anyone asks, we can just say you’re flushed from all the cooking.”

“Bradley,” you whine setting down your wooden spoon down on the counter with a sharp thwack.

“Ok, ok. I’m done, I promise,” he says putting his hands up in surrender with a chuckle.

He pushes off the counter and grabs a glass off of one of the floating shelves and fills it with some ice water.

“Good,” you tut haughtily, as you fiddle with the white and orange striped kitchen towel hanging on the oven door, “I was about to threaten to make you sleep on the couch tonight.”

“You wouldn’t.” Even the thought of it makes his stomach feel unsettled.

After nearly two decades of hard beds on foreign bases and on lumpy carrier mattresses, he’s never slept as well as he did since the two of you found your way to each other.

His peace was found under a fluffy green duvet on a wooden canopy bed with you tucked under his arm.

“No. No, I wouldn’t,” you agree, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his cheek in thanks when he presses the cold glass into your hands.

Bradley tugs you away from the warm stove and you reluctantly follow and sit on the barstool he’s pulled out for you on the other side of the kitchen island.

He runs his hand up and down your back comfortingly as you take a few sips, “We’re in a great place, sweet girl.”

“Mhm, yeah. Sure, of course.” You couldn’t sound less unsure if you tried. “It’s just… I’m nervous about the mushroom and leeks bread pudding. I’ve never made it before. And what if we run out of wine?”

“What’s been our motto?” he asks, taking over the helm at the stove whisking the gravy together as it begins to thicken.

“‘In Ina we trust’,” you say with a serious nod of your head. 

“Atta girl, we sure do. And Nat said she’s is bringing a few bottles she picked up from when she went to Napa, the good shit. It’s going to be great. Trust me,” he says giving you a warm smile. “Will it make you feel better to go over everything again?”

“Yes, please,” you say, anxiously drumming your fingers along the side of your water glass.

He’d stepped up where he could like making sure the house was pristine and cleaning up the yard by blowing off the wrinkled remainders of the yellow Tipuana flowers. He’d even been able to source and rent some more chairs to make sure that everyone would have a seat at the table.

Bradley wasn’t a schlump in the kitchen. He knew his way around a cookbook and a stove. His knife skills were pretty damn good too, if he did say so himself. But he also knew when somethings were out of his wheelhouse. So he’d taken to being your sous chef, and had taken to washing and prepping the ingredients for you so that all you had to do was toss them in whatever shiny pot they were destined for.

He even made his mom’s favorite pie. It had been years since he's had it, and he was excited to share it with everyone.

Your mom had mailed the copy of the original recipe she had that was written in Carole’s rounded, flourished script. You had made a photocopy of it to use so that the original didn’t get ruined, and then pointed out a spot on the wall where you said you’d thought it would look nice in a frame hanging in the kitchen. And he'd fallen a little more in love with you.

“Ok, hit me with it,” he says turning the heat to low for the gravy and putting the lid on.

This was a partnership through and through, he was going to give you all the support you needed.

“The turkey?”

Bradley picks up the fancy digital meat thermometer he’d bought for the occasion to check, “Big Bird has an hour and twenty more minutes to work on his tan and then he’ll rest for another thirty. Giving people time to graze and mingle and get some drinks in them, just like you wanted.”

You nod and hum contemplatively, “I’ve been thinking we need a salad. I don’t feel like we have enough vegetable options.”

He knows better than to point out that you’re currently snacking on snap peas from not one, but three, of the veggie platters the two of you had put together the night before.

“We’ve got the crispy brussels sprouts, the garlic and hazelnut green beans, and the honey glazed carrots with lemon. We’re more than fine on the fiber and beta-carotene. Michelle Obama would be proud, kid.”

That gets a little laugh from you.

“Well, as long as you think Michelle would be happy than we’re probably fine,” you say with a smile around your water glass that tells him you know exactly what he’s doing invoking your favorite First Lady.

“What else are you thinking about?” Bradley asks peering in the lower of their double ovens, where foiled covered dishes are lined up in perfect symmetry are warming away having been prepared in advance.

“Do you think two bags of rolls will be enough? Or should I text Mav and ask him to grab one more?”

He doesn’t miss the way your eyes dip down to his ass in his gray slacks. So he might linger as second longer than necessary to let you enjoy the view, since it’s for the female gaze and all.

He’s never understood wearing the most restrictive clothing on the holiday that involves the most eating, but that was Penny’s tradition to have everyone dressed in their nicest and you had insisted on keeping it going even if she was on the other side of the country.

You’d teased him earlier when you’d seen him emerge from the bedroom wearing the short-sleeved green cashmere polo you’d gotten him a couple years ago. It fit a little more snug that he remembered it, but he thought he still pulled it off well.

“When did we become the couple that matches?” you’d asked gesturing to your dress as you gave him an appreciative onceover.

If the past was anything to go off of, you would be running your hands over the soft material covering his chest and back all night.

“I just like reminding people who I belong with, sweet girl.”

He might have had something else in mind to wear for the evening before he saw you in that dress, had ironed the shirt the night before and everything, but last-minute pivot it was well worth it when you looked at him like that.

When he stands back up, he gives you knowing wink.

And in return you throw a baby carrot at him with a laugh.

Bradley isn’t surprised in the least to hear the quick clack-clack-clack of nails on the wood floors as their fluffy black and white Portuguese Water Dog rounds the corner. Having been summoned by the sound of food hitting the floor from where he had been dozing near the fireplace in the living room.

The carrot is gone in an instant and he comes to sit at Bradley's feet by the stove, looking up at him from under his curly eyebrows clearly hoping he'll get another snack.

“Nah, bud. You’re barking up the wrong tree over here,” he says leaning down to scratch his floppy ears.

“Ah, come here, Duck,” you croon, calling him over to your side of the island. “He’s so mean for a man who claimed he just saw God not too long ago, isn’t he?”

Bradley snorts and shakes his head at you amused.

He still doesn’t know how he ended up with a dog named Duck.

At the dog park, more often than not people mistook it for ‘Buck’. And you were usually off to the side more than happy to let him take the lead, biting your lip to keep from laughing at his less than enthusiastic expression when he’d have to warily explain yet again It’s Duck like quack.

You’re not even subtle about the piece of cheese you pull from the charcuterie board to feed him.

“I saw that,” he says, giving you a pointed lift of his eyebrow, “You know Bob is going to be spoiling him all night.”

“It was just a little piece of cheese. Plus, I don’t know who you think you’re fooling. I saw you go over there and deliver him his own little veggie platter with some of the leftovers we had while I was making the apple cider sangria.”

“That’s different, that’s good for him,” he says rounding the island, reaching over and snagging his own slice of cheese to snack on.

“And cheese is a protein. He’s just a baby, Bradley, what am I supposed to do? Not give him a piece of swiss?” You slide off your chair to squat down and rub Duck’s belly, you’ve always been his favorite.

“He’s almost five,” he replies flatly.

“A youth!” you exclaim, “He’s a growing boy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bradley says affectionately with a little roll of his eyes. He knows a losing battle when he sees one.

He offers you his hand to help you stand back up, but you wave him off and pull yourself up using the edge of the island. You take a moment to readjust your dress before making your way to the sink by the big windows that look out into the backyard.

“Speaking of Bob, do you know if he’s bringing his fiancée?” you ask from over your shoulder as you wash your hands.

“Not this time, sweetheart. I guess she volunteered to cover a shift in the NICU when she heard they were short staffed.”

“Oh that’s too bad, I was excited to see her ring in person,” you say drying off your hands and heading to the pantry.

“It’s all he can talk about at work. I guess they’re thinking about a Spring wedding next year. They don’t want to wait too long to get married.”

“I’m so happy for them,” you say, digging around for a moment and then emerge with a stack of some sturdy plastic plates and set them on the last free spot on the countertop. “Don’t let me forget to make them up a couple plates that he can bring home for her, before Fanboy declares it time for ‘second dinner’ and eats all the yams like he did last year.”

“I won’t forget, promise,” he says fondly.

If you were facing him, he knows you’d probably tease him for the look on his face and just how gone he is for you.

You’ve always been so generous, it’s one of the things that he loves most about you.

You were always good about hustling him out of his well-earned money from is part time job scooping ice cream in high school, like with the fundraiser you did for the local soup kitchen and the one for the elementary school summer arts program.

He’s always been wrapped around your finger, it just took him awhile to realize why.

It’s the same reason why there’s been a donation that comes out of his bank account every month for the last five years for one of the San Diego animal shelters.

Bradley had made a rather sizable donation and then set up a smaller reoccurring monthly one after the chaos that was the time Bob had set you up with his friend who worked at the shelter, back before the two of you had gotten together.

Even after all these years, he still can’t help but get a little irritated every time he sees that guy’s face in the monthly newsletter that comes to his email. He’s pretty sure Casey still might have a little crush on you, but Bradley can’t blame him. He’d have a hard time getting over you too, so it’s a good thing he’ll never have to.

On newsletter day, Bradley always finds himself giving Duck extra treats.

You are his wife. And Duck is his dog. Ridiculous name and all.

He couldn’t wait to surprise you with the golden tennis ball that the shelter sends out as a thank you after a decade of donations.

Only five more years to go.

You’re over by the bar that’s been set up off to the side, straightening the already very straight rows of gleaming wine glasses when he hears you suck in a sharp gasp.

Bradley drops the dish cloth he had in his hands as he attempted to give what little counter space there was left a final wipe down and is in front of you in half a heartbeat. Was there a fluke with some faulty stemware? Are you bleeding? There’s a reason Thanksgiving is one of the busiest days at the hospital.

“The butter!” you cry out as you whirl around, your pretty eyes welling up with tears, “I let you fuck me and I forgot to pull the butter from the fridge. It’s going to be too hard for people to spread now!”

He knows it’s more than just hosting jitters that’s got you like this, but it still catches him by surprise sometimes.

“Woah, woah,” he says as he catches you on the way to the fridge and pulls you to his chest, “C’mere, my sweet girl.”

You make a distressed noise but allow him to keep his hold on you, “But the butter…”

“I already pulled the butter, see?” He points to the sticks that are already softening away on the counter. “Will you take a couple slow breaths for me, please? This place looks and smells amazing. We did good, baby.”

Bradley feels the moment your body relaxes into him.

He presses a kiss to the side of your temple as he smooths his hands down your soft, pretty green velvet dress and the warm, firm curve of your rounded stomach soothingly.

“Ugh, I’m sorry. It’s the hormones,” you sigh, as you lean your head back against his shoulder.

He hums empathically as he sways gently side to side with you in his arms.

“I would like to go on the record saying that I like pregnancy hormones, especially the ones from earlier,” he jokes lightly.

“That makes one of us,” you say with a watery laugh, “Just wait until I am waking you up at 4 AM because I am craving something from a drive-thru that’s not open.”

“Mm, can’t wait,” he murmurs before dropping a few kisses along the soft line of your jaw.

Bradley still can’t believe he gets to be this lucky in life.

He doesn’t want to forget a single moment of this. With you, with his family.

“We did a really good job with this one,” he whispers into your ear, still stroking your stomach, not wanted to disturb the magic in the domesticity.

“We really did, da--” Bradley groans and cuts you off with a kiss. He can feel the impish smile plastered on your lips as he kisses you. His favorite menace.

He knows you’re pretty sure it was the spontaneous hook up in the storage closet at the Hard Deck on the Fourth of July that’s responsible for the noticeable bump you’re sporting. Call him a romantic, but he likes to think it was that night in the Bronco overlooking the ocean when he’d taken the long way back home.   

You pull away all too soon for his liking to grab his left hand. He sees the flash of the two diamonds on your engagement ring, one from his mom and one from yours, as you take it and press it to a spot near your bellybutton.

The feeling of the fluttering under his palm will never get old. He’s not too proud to say he’d shed a tear or two the first time he’d felt it.

Bradley lets himself bask in this moment as he two of you stand there in the kitchen of your dream house.

There are a few pops from the wood in the fireplace, the refrigerator is humming away in the background, and he can just hear the sounds of a melodic piano from the playlist he queued up earlier playing over the speaker.

Of all the delicious scents that waft through the house, the smell the floral and musk notes in you perfume is still his favorite.

There are times in the soft quiet of night, usually when you are asleep and his mind won’t quite settle, that he sometimes thinks he was put on this Earth to hold you.

It’s the only reason he can think of that explains why you fit so perfectly against his body.

Why his palms can fit so perfectly over your rounded stomach.

Why it’s his hands that you have trusted to protect your heart.

And he’s still holding you in the warmth of the kitchen when he hears the front door open.

Bradley knows he’s going to have to play host soon and he just wants to keep you in his arms for just a little longer.

“Hey kids, I brought the turkey,” Mav calls out from the entry.

You spin in his arms, looking at him wide eyed and confused as you two exchange a look. He presses one last kiss to your cheek before letting you go.

“Thought you were going to bring the rolls, Mav,” Bradley calls out just in time to see him round the corner.

Pete stands there proudly grinning holding a few bags of bakery rolls in one hand and a turkey in the other.

The sound of your delighted laughter makes his heart swell in his chest as he takes in the sight.

“Cooper Mitchell Ford Bradshaw, you are without a doubt the cutest turkey I have ever seen,” you gush as you go to greet Mav with a warm hug and a kiss on his cheek. Your son’s chubby arms reaching out for you.

Mav has dressed your almost two-year-old son in a soft, plush turkey costume that is complete with tailfeathers and a beak. He’s clearly a fan of the outfit too because he is grinning widely, showing of the more of the baby teeth that have come in over the last few months.

Mav had swung by early this morning to take him off your hands to get ready for Daggersgiving without chasing an almost-toddler around. While it was nice to have some time just the two of you while you got the place in order and took care of the last-minute things, like that homemade cranberry sauce, but he’d missed not having his son around.

The sweet sound of Cooper’s giggles and your coos fill up the kitchen as he watches you pepper his face with kisses. You bounce him a little and do a little spin, making the little boy laugh even more. The two of you in your own little bubble.

“You doin’ ok over there, kid?” Mav asks, a soft grin on his face as he sets the rolls on the counter to pull him in for a hug.

The two men had made their way back to each other over the last few years, just another thing that Bradley was grateful for in his life. The man had always been his father in everything but name. That is until he’d seen the man who raised him hold his son for the first time.

“Yeah, Dad,” Bradley says, clearing his throat a bit, “Everything’s perfect.”

From there it’s a flurry of activity as people start to arrive.

Nat comes with her longtime girlfriend and the extra bottles of the fancy Napa wine she promised to bring. Only handing it over once he promised to give her the name of the contractor the two of you had worked with and the exact shade of green that was used on the lower cabinets during your kitchen renovation.

Payback and Fanboy and their wives show up wearing oversized turkey hats on their heads each carrying a bakery box of pie.

Bradley isn’t surprised when Duck ditches the attention that Coyote was giving him the second Bob shows up with the famous Floyd family scalloped potatoes. Bob has always been a sucker for a pair of puppy dog eyes.

And in between checking on people’s glasses, swapping out empty appetizer trays for fuller ones, and making sure Jake doesn’t tamper with his perfectly cooked turkey, he’s got his eyes trained on you.

There are no words for the pride and love that washes over him every time he looks over and sees you with his son propped up on your hip and the way your pretty dress stretches around your growing family.

He had missed this stage of your pregnancy when he was deployed and you were pregnant with Cooper. He was determined to savor every second of this one. Every butter related freak out and every late-night milkshake run.

Being in his house surrounded with all the people he loves, minus a couple who are here in spirit, isn’t something he could ever take for granted. It’s more blessings than he ever hoped to receive in this lifetime.

You look over your shoulder at him and everything about the way you’re looking at him is picture perfect.

Your smile sunshine gold and just for him as you hold his gaze for a moment as time ticks on around the two of you. You send him a little wink before turning back to Mav who has his phone held up for a FaceTime call with Penny and Amelia.

Bradley sees his son peek his head up from where it had been nestled into your neck. Cooper grins when he sees him, his tiny hand reaching out for his dad. For him.

As he makes his way over to the two of you with his heart full, he makes a mental note to ask Mav later where he got that costume. He’s already planning on running out tomorrow to see if they have any more in stock now that it seems they have a new Bradshaw tradition on their hands.

He’s going to have three little turkeys running around this time next year and he couldn’t wait.

Cooper and him were going to be outnumbered soon.

The two of you had found out earlier in the month that Everly Caroline Bradshaw and Olivia Saylor Bradshaw were going to be the newest members to join your little family.

His girls.

It was an announcement the two of you were excited to share later tonight with everyone else when the slices of pies were being passed around.

He scoops up Cooper from you with one arm, dropping a kiss onto his little boy’s perfect curls as his small fist clutches as the soft fabric of his shirt. And then Bradley kisses the crown of your head as he wraps his other arm around you, his thumb stroking the swell of your belly.

With you- because of you- he gets to have it all.

The wife. The family. The house. The dog. The life. The dream.

He’s right where he wants to be.

He’s right where he’s supposed to be.

Happy Thanksgiving! This was such a joy to write, thank you for reading!

It might not be Carole Bradshaw's famous pie, but it's one of my favorites! And who better to share it with than you! Cranberry-Lime Pie

If you haven't read the 'Like I Can' series you can read it here!

You can read my other stories here!

Taglist:

@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @shanimallina87 @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader

[lululawrence]

How about 24, 14 and 30?

hiiii sorry i didn't answer earlier, i fell asleep before i got it haha but i can answer now before i finally make my fic list for the month... like three days late oops so ANYWAY thank you for sending these in!!

how was your day today?

i'm answering for today instead of yesterday hahaha today was pretty good! more chill than i originally expected because of a last minute change in plans, so it was nice. the toddler was his usual terror self and i didn't get my sunday afternoon nap that is basically a requirement, but that's alright cause overall it wasn't a bad day haha

any cleaning or organizing life hacks?

oof listen this one has had me thinking. all my cleaning and organizing life hacks are more like adhd and autism life hacks lmaoooo so i'm not so sure they would be helpful for like anyone other than ME. ummm i guess my big one is make your planner a happy place for you to be because you'll have more incentive to use it that way lol mine is covered in stickers that are mostly fan art or lyrics or things that make me happy like flowers or quotes that remind me i'm not a failure hahahahah and it's lots of bright colors so when i open it up to the upcoming week and see all five million appointments and things i have to do even though i'm on year four of total burnout at this point, i don't have a panic attack. the bright colors and flowers and our boys rewire my brain to focus on that instead so my emotions are kept a lot more even and i can then still be productive in looking at the schedule which is super helpful for me haha for cleaning, the two biggest things that have helped me is one: it doesn't have to be done perfectly every time, so just do the best you can and at least it's that much better than it was before. and two: break up the big bads in your life so you don't have to do it all at once. for example, i HATE the bathroom. not because i find it super disgusting or whatever, but because it usually takes more effort for me to scrub the tub or the sink and honestly when i was younger i didn't ever know if i was cleaning them correctly or not. i was essentially guessing and was always too embarrassed to ask for help because the few times i did try to do that, i didn't actually get answers that helped me at all. the answers were kind of lackadaisical and general and would probably make sense to a neurotypical, but to my undiagnosed AuDHD brain, i was LOST man. and like, i'm 38 now, i've finally figured that shit out at least for myself, but even though it's a lot easier now and i know what to do, it still has a lot of negative feelings associated so my executive dysfunction basically says, "yeah nope" when it's time to do it and fucks off hahaha SO what i do is i have different tasks in the bathroom on different days. for example, tuesday is toilet day. dunno why, it just works well having toilets on tuesdays. wednesday is sinks, thursday is mirrors, and friday is the tub. saturday is for if i missed any of those days, then i catch up. or it's april and i just don't clean the bathroom. months like that happen, and we still survive. lol which is actually tip three. you'll still survive even if your plans don't work, so pick yourself up and try again. maybe it'll stick this time!

how do you feel about this weekend?

as in the weekend we just had or the weekend coming up? lollllll the weekend we just had? overall it was an alright one. it was longer than i feel like they usually feel for a lot of reasons, and it was weird because there was a lot of stuff that just wasn't really quite at the usual for us, but yeah not bad! haha kinda glad it's over while also not all that excited about the upcoming week, if that makes sense haha but that's also kinda my life right now so oh well lol

that got long i'm so sorry hahaha hope you at least kind of enjoyed the answers? lol thank you for asking!!!

if you want the link to the post these came from, it's here!

[the-sputnik-vanishess]

Nonstop Feeling, pt. 3

I have always thought that one of the thing that would make me hooked onto someone is the affirmations that they could assured to me.

The bombing of praises about me. Be it about my looks, my personalities, my achievements…anything. Telling me how they like me, love me, their feelings towards me…anything.

I thought about it for a while and traced back our interactions for these past few months.

Did he ever call me pretty? No. There’s this two times when he said i look “fresh” and then also a slight comment about how he wanted to kiss my lips.

Did he ever mention anything about me that he likes? Also no. To be fair, we both never said we like each other anyway.

Did he ever say he miss me whenever we’re apart for days? Explicitly, no. But one time where I mentioned that I’m the only one missing him and not vice versa, he only answered with “I never said I don’t miss you.”

“Not saying it doesn’t mean that I’m not feeling it. Not everything needs to be said.”

And this is the first time I can vouch that it’s true.

He would come straight away to my place whenever he could. He would reply to my text whenever he looked on his phone. He would always let me know if he couldn’t make it to my place that day with a clear crystal reason. He never make a promise that he knew he couldn’t make. He would always apologize if he couldn’t make his promise. He never reject my kisses. If he have to reject it, he always explain the reason. He would always put his arm around me when I sit close to him. If I feel bothered about something that he said or did, he would apologize and stop - and without diminishing my feeling.

With him, everything just feels…effortless.

We are so different but it’s strange that I’m starting to find a sense of comfort in him only after our fourth or fifth meetings.

We are so different yet so similar. We both like steak cooking videos on the internet. We both are easily got bored with poultry dishes. We both always sleep with videos or movies playing in the background - we put our device leaning on the wall beside our head.

Unlike him, I need to express specks of my feeling towards him. Back then, I always think too much about the other party reactions and I always fear rejections. But with him, I feel like I could say anything and even though he never give me affirmation by his words - he always make me feel accepted.

*

“I got out to the balcony last nite to see you off driving away.”

“Oh? Sorry I didn’t know. That’s why I just drove off without looking back to you.”

“Yeah it’s okay I just want to see u anyway.”

“Okay.”

I never knew that a dry and simple answer like that could make me feel - belong.

“Your scent already disappeared from my pillow.”

“Hahahah go try smell my towel then.”

“I already did and there’s no scent of u left there lol sorry.”

“Hahaha you already tried?!”

“Yeah sorry that’s embarrassing.”

“Sorry why? It’s not.”

He never say he misses me back. He would always just laughed, and just that.

But I just knew the instance he got the time - he would show up in front of my door, get into my room, and kiss me like there’s no tomorrow.

*

I don’t expect anything from all of this. As I can’t deny anymore that I have already caught feelings beyond everything that we have right now, I just knew that this isn’t going anywhere.

Sometimes I question a bit about his feeling towards me. Is there any possibility that he also got the same sparks that I got whenever I’m thinking about him?

*

“Not everything needs to be said.”

*

I guess he’s right.

[shijiujun]

Okay I’ve decided to do a single rec after I finish one novel hahaha because if I wait to get around to it all it’ll never happen! Anyway because @sarah-yyy​​ has been reading it and I’ve gotten a lot of asks/replies on this, I’m just going to do one huge list for one of my faves so everyone knows what’s going on and where to find things XD

- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -

Summary: 

This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

Read: 

Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Not Available | Novel Translations | Manhua (You’ll have to download the KuaiKan app, the chapters are currently all free)

Characters:

1. 景韶 Jing Shao - 3rd Prince and is the first out of his three other brothers to be given a title 成王 (cheng wang). He’s referred to as 王爷, and also 小勺 (xiao shao) by Han Zhang. Went out on his first war when he was 14, and was thus given a title before any of his brothers. He’s known for being a merciless, cold and fierce army general/commander, but this was before his second life with Han Zhang, where he puts on like his doting mode and is basically a dumbass XD who listens to Han Zhang with a lot of trust, which is cool and all.

He marries Han Zhang when he’s 19, and in his first life he was very reluctant and resistant, and neglected Han Zhang for 10 years, until he was charged with treason and hunted down. 

In his first life he wanted to snatch the throne, even from his blood-related brother Jing Chen, but more out of spite than anything else because he felt he was dealt an unfair hand by having to marry Han Zhang. Not only that, but Jing Shao is not his father’s favourite son, and he always felt that the emperor was biased against him. Anyway, a huge accumulation of daddy and anger issues, which is fair.

When he realizes that Han Zhang died for him, he decides he will be good to Han Zhang if they are reborn in their next life.

2. 慕含章 Mu Han Zhang - The 2nd son of Marquis Bei Hou’s, born to a concubine. He’s called by his 表字 which is 君清 (jun qing) by Jing Shao. Official First Wife Bei Wei Hou-furen and her son (who is in line to inherit the Marquis title from his father) has bullied him all his life, and wanted to push him into greater desperation by marrying him to Jing Shao, knowing he will suffer at the hands of the supposed merciless/heartless wangye. He has a weak body because of an accident when he was younger, and in his first life he was really sick after being neglected for 10 years, and knowing this in their second life, Jing Shao does everything he can to take care of him.

He is incredibly smart, has a brain for business and sales, and is also very good at handling people, especially scheming ones. He aids Jing Shao in the beginning of their second life, and then Jing Chen later as well, as both brothers begin to fight to put Jing Chen on the throne, against the 1st and 4th Princes. Is an incredibly good tactician in war as well.

3. 景琛 Jing Chen - 2nd Prince, Jing Shao’s blood related older brother who is handsome af too. His title, given later in the novel, is 睿王 (rui wang). He was misunderstood by Jing Shao in the first life as Jing Shao thought it was his brother who led to him marrying Han Zhang, and because he’s not very good at expressing himself and shows his concern to Jing Shao by nagging at him, Jing Shao always thought he hated him. In their second life, Jing Shao already knows that Jing Chen loves him and did a lot for him in his first life, and so trusts his brother and supports him right off the bat, because Jing Chen is indeed the most suited person for the throne.

He has a wife and a concubine, 3 sons and 2 daughters at this point. He ends up helping Jing Shao a lot, and when he realizes that Han Zhang is way more adept at politics and the whole scheming thing than Jing Shao is, he begins trusting Han Zhang a lot more as well! There’s a surprise with Jing Chen hahaha which I loveee and could see, but wasn’t sure until they confirmed it in the last few chapters AHAHAHAHA.

Other Notable Characters:

1. Song Ling Xin (Second Wife) on the left, and two other concubines on the right

They’re pretty much vying for Jing Shao’s attention, but at this point apparently he hasn’t slept with any of them before. Song Ling Xin is the daughter of the Military Department’s Head Song An, and Jing Shao married her initially out of interest. The right most concubine (I forgot her name oops) was a gift given to him by his oldest brother, the 1st Prince. The two of them played a huge role in Jing Shao’s downfall back in his first life, and so in his second life, he especially detests Song Ling Xin. Plus the three of them keep bullying Han Zhang in the beginning, but thankfully Jing Shao is like: “Anything my Jun Qing wants”. They don’t stay around for long either, watch as Jing Shao gets rid of them like he’s swatting flies.

2. Xiao Yuan & Zhou Da-Ge

This is another male couple who’s been married for 7-8 years if I recall. Xiao Yuan is one of Jing Shao’s important allies and friends in the second life, because in Jing Shao’s first life, this was one of the only young officials in court who spoke up for him when the accusations of treason came about. Zhou Da-Ge is his husband, who is a cook running a restaurant in the city. Whenever Zhou Da-Ge bullies Xiao Yuan in bed a little too much, Xiao Yuan punishes him by making him wear colourful clothes out (pink, bright yellow, purple, etc.) and thus he has a reputation for being eccentric and a weirdo, but oh well, all for love.

3. Gu Huai Qing

One of Jing Shao and Jing Chen’s most powerful allies, and he becomes blood-sworn brothers with Jing Shao without realizing who he is. Later he takes a liking to Jing Chen.

(Will update with photos when they come out, but they’re a bit further into the story so we won’t have them for a few months yet ahahaha)

Amazing Scenes:

Jing Shao & Han Zhang first looks in the manhua

Jing Shao being THAT clingy husband and helping Han Zhang to wear his clothes properly so cute!!!!!

Han Zhang and Jing Shao in their first lives (10 years later), about to die, sad and then Jing Shao jumps down the cliff with Han Zhang’s corpse, regretful cuz he a dumb bij

Jing Shao unable to resist kissing Han Zhang’s cheek, realizes what he’s doing, and gets embarrassed LMAOOOO 没出息!!!!!!! (This is different from the novel, because in the novel Jing Shao just kisses and is done with that, the embarrassment part is drawn in only in the manhua hahaha)

Other Things I Like in the Novel:

Jing Shao is like, he does a 180 entirely and he is very cognisant of all his faults and what he did wrong previously, and how badly he treated Han Zhang, so he legit forces his brain to go “I will listen to Jun Qing from now on” and he really sticks to it!

Loves kissing and teasing Han Zhang, but doesn’t force him into bed after their wedding night, and instead goes to Xiao Yuan and asks for tips on how to make his partner feel less scared about sex

The both of them end up with a pet tiger?!! That’s called Xiao Huang (little yellow) LMAO

They nap together a lot which I love <3333

Jing Shao knows he’s bullied at home, so when they go back to the Marquis Bei Hou manor, he holds Han Zhang’s hand in front of everyone to let them know Han Zhang has someone to back him up

Brings Han Zhang to war because he “cannot concentrate if Jun Qing isn’t with me at all times” - and asks for special permission to do so

Han Zhang notes that since he married Jing Shao, as the ‘wife’ he is supposed to serve Jing Shao, but it’s always Jing Shao serving him - Getting water for him, bringing him to baths, putting clothes on for him, putting food in his plate if it tastes nice, massaging his back and waist etc. - and best is he doesn’t have to deal with any in-laws?!! HAHAHA

Jing Shao gets revenge on those who hurt Han Zhang when he was younger for him, and the outcome is pretty hilarious but well-deserved

EPILOGUES are cute af!!!!

[makeste]

literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.

so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.

so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).

why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.

why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.

why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.

why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.

why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”

why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.

why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.

why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.

why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”

why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.

why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”

why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk

why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.

why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.

why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.

why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).

why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.

why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.

why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.

why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.

why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.

why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.

why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.

why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.

why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.

why I like it: peak. gremlin.

why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.

why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.

why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.

why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.

why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.

why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.

why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.

why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.

why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.

why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.

why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.

why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.

why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.

BONUS:

WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.

happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.