#things I want to be in my next life
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i love them😭
droplets
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been in a yuuji mood
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#sorry fr being quiet ive been a. busy w lmhs and b. in the emotional trenches#on the bright side tho arcane is out and i am once again attempting 2 channel a even a fraction of its art style#it is simply the natural order of things: arcane season drops and i am overcome with the urge to Paint#idk what they r feeding their artists and animators over there but its so gorgeous idk how they do it#regardless im thankful bc it feels like ive been so turbulent w where my style is#one second i love it the next i want to change everything about it#such is life such is growth#shoutout 2 yuuji fr being such a good guinea pig tho <3#him and the colour red. if no one got me ik itadori yuuji and the colour red got me
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never trust the guy with a bright blonde mohawk to style your hair
#god is testing me by making one of my hyperfixations a guy with a bleached mohawk life is unfair#i don't even know how it happened#one day I was neutral on Tora the next I wanted to pluck him up and place him in a terrarium on my desk for observation#i blame fukunaga I got hyperfixated on him and tora came by association#i wonder when in timeskip he stopped dying it like did he finish highschool with that thing or was it out by third year#sorry fukunaga im not funny enough to do your puns justice but i tried#kozume kenma#yamamoto taketora#fukunaga shouhei#nekoma#nekoma second years#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#hq#hq fanart#my art
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You know what’s wild about being a fictive? Missing your old life even though it was shitty because it’s a shittiness you were used to. The life you’re living now is a new kind of shitty that feels unpleasant in a different way.
#maybe it’s stupid to miss the life I had#it sucked#so much#I hated it actually#I prayed every night that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning and cried when I did#I’m still doing that tbh#this is a different kind of suck though#I want my old life back#those people were shitty but they were MY shitty people#maybe I just got used to the horrible conditions I was living in#and now I miss it even though it was horrible#just because it’s familiar to me#maybe it’s the difference between the physical discomfort I felt in my old life#vs the emotional discomfort I feel now#maybe I should talk to my therapist#or go to bed#did system#plural#plurality#actually plural#actually did#plural system#system things#dissociative system#fictive#fictives#fictive culture#system culture#plural culture
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fuck it *ff8s ur jd*
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#joongdok#to be completely transparent i havent actually put any consideration into comparing these 2 things. i just wanted to redraw the logo#like i have played and enjoyed ff8 but i didnt factor in any ideas to attack ppl with. not this time at least LOL#inspired by krintousquids beautiful rynegaia illust based on this same logo.... changed my life.#we NEED to make more of these [clutching the ff8 logo in my hands]#umm anyways im usually hard pressed to conceptualize ship art at all so we will see when insp next strikes for that
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I finished my second quilt! It's for my grandma :)
Like the first quilt I made, I just used charm packs - bundles of pre-cut fabric squares with patterns that go well together.
I used two charm packs (5" squares, not 10") from Fat Quarter Shop. Would recommend! Not expensive, lots of pretty packs, and fast shipping. The light blue and light maroon border and back are just whatever Joann printed cottons, and the binding is plain black cotton.
Using charm packs definitely made this project pretty easy. Just arrange the squares in a pretty pattern and sew them together (well, there are smart ways of doing that, and owning an iron is highly recommended, but whatever). I hand-sewed the binding this time. It was actually way easier and faster than I thought it would be.
#quilting#sewing#crafting#speaks into the void#i need to get pictures of my first quilt#my mom has it stored away somewhere because she doesn't want to use it because it'll get dirty >:(#she should use the nice thing i made!#but maybe she doesn't use it because it reminds her of dad... i made it for him when he was dying in the hospital earlier this year#he did love that thing for the last few weeks of his life at least#and now my grandma is probably dying 🙃#i need to stop making quilts for dying people#my next one is planned for my mom and i don't think she's actively dying yet so hopefully that'll break the trend
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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Egghead chibs lesgooo ✌️✨ [Shop]
#My art#One Piece#OP manga spoilers#Egghead spoilers#I had sticker sheets of these chibs. They sold out at my last convention. Whoops#I'll probably reorder them though for my next convention and whatever I have left over will go on my Ko-Fi shop afterwards#Also yes the Cross Guild chibs also come on this sticker sheet. Because there was room for them#For the record the actual sticker sheet looks like a fucking MESS. I wanted max size but that means organizing them weirdly so they all fit#That Kuma sticker is probably my favorite thing I've ever drawn. Probably. Maybe.#The Loof is very high up there too. IDK why Luffy is so fucking hard to draw but he is so I'm very pleased with his chib#I have reached the ''Do Not Repost watermark'' era of my life it seems#Was gonna have more of those so they'd cover all the fucking chibs so people wouldn't use 'em as profile pics but#I gave up I hate watermarking my work man. Like I don't want to cover shit up when I spent so much time drawing it#But also I hate it when people just grab my shit to use as their profile pics like c'mon man#Anyway yeah the OP Brainrot is still Very Very Real
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My jewish community, friends, rabbi, and educators: We are very invested in helping you be jewish. Do you want to help read the haftarah? Here's a chanukiah! You can have it!! Borrow these books! Here's some books! You need more books... Come to pesach! Come to the chanukah party! When are your classes done? We need a minyan for once!
Me and my 50000 IQ: What if I am Secretly Appropriating judaism? What if I am doing a Cultural Appropriation........
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#there comes a point where your concerns about if you are an Appropriative Cultural Appropriator hinders your jewish journey#i think a comforting thing is knowing that my incessant fear about this is confirmation that i love judaism#i love it with my heart and soul and (i feel) i'd be a less realized person without it#and i think people who genuinely engage in cultural appropriation just Do Not Care about the cultures they appropriate from#they don't love the culture enough to respect it and that is a big reason that it even IS appropriation#especially when jewish people are INVITING you to do things... it's not appropriation#i dunno last night i was feeling very anxious about lighting the chanukiah candles because i'm alone#but i've also lit shabbos candles. and it's just like... why would i choose not to engage in this when one day i will have to?#this time next year i will have to light candles. as a jew. and if i have no clue how to do it myself then i'll just avoid it#plus... i love my chanukiah and i want to use it. it is currently decorating my room because i love it#i hope they'll let me take pictures of all the chanukiah that'll be at the party#i'm sure they will because they're very open and they are very accommodating. in fact i'm bringing my clarinet too#i haven't touched that thing in well over four years 😭#but jewish music without a clarinet is like a body with no soul. it's impossible. it is not what g-d wants i think.#i just hope my ability to play by ear hasn't been affected by my lack of playing. i don't have perfect pitch tbc#but i fully believe you can know your instrument so well that you develop an ear for perfect pitch#in fact... i refused to memorize my marching band music because i DID develop that 'perfect pitch' ear. that's my dirty secret#i didn't practice in part because i can't have a space where noone could hear me practice and it's embarrassing and private to me#literally EVERY jew in my life has been almost TOO ecstatic about my jewish journey. i'm very thankful for it#i guess i just didn't think i deserved to have people as happy about me being in judaism as i am#so to be clear this is my brain being rude and dumb. this anxiety has NEVER been reinforced by anyone but myself#so i take full responsibility for it. but i think that anxiety is something many/most converts/jews-in-progress feel
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In order to turn a very embarrassing moment of my life into something funny have this stupid Timbern au:
The Drakes are alive so Tim is still on track for being the heir of D.I. but is interning at W.E. for the summer because Bruce offered a position
Bernard has been interning at W.E. as well, for volunteering hours
The both work in a small, newer branch of W.E. that focuses on cultivating more information about Gotham’s history
Bernard’s there because it's the most teen focused thing and Tim’s there because he wants to figure where exactly the Lazarus pit is under Gotham so he can mess with Ra’s
They are currently stationed at an old house that was made into a museum which is managed by Wayne Enterprises, but since most of it is a museum there are only a few rooms to actually work, however it being a teen thing it’s very much choose your own hours so that prevents too many people from being there at once
Tim, who doesn’t want someone to come in a see the fact that he’s already finished cataloging all of the 2023 Donations to the museum and is instead using the time to further research the numerous curses in Gotham and/or watch Demon Slayer, is very happy about this fact and only comes at either the earliest or latest times so he gets a room to himself and only has to pretend to be going through boxes when someone checks on him
Bernard immediately messes up Tim’s plan
He’s always there- morning, night, even when Tim changes up his schedule
And no matter how many how many empty rooms there might be he always finds Tim and sits with him, even the time Tim tried to hide in the attic under the guise of organizing a couple boxes up there
Being the paranoid idiot that he is Tim assume that Bernard is a from the League of Assassins and enacts a 46-step plan to figure out what he’s planning (read: stalks him) and in the course of it ends up falling in love
Meanwhile on Bernard’s side, the first week of the internship he walked into the room Tim was in and wanted to be friends with the cute boy
The reason that he kept finding Tim was that he was talking to Dick Grayson, his gymnastics instructor, and Dick had realized that the boy in question was his honorary little brother and told Bernard that “Timmy’s shy, you just have to break down his walls to get to know him” and tells him when Tim’s going to the museum
Dick is well aware of what Tim thinks the situation is because he’s the one Tim rants to, but he thinks it’s funny and will make for a great story to tell at their wedding
#tim drake#dick grayson#bernard dowd#timbern#the real life version of this is far less cute and funny#I intern at my local museum along with about 20 kids from my school#i do not want to interact with these people so I always try to get to the archive room of the museum when no one else is there#Because you only really go into the archive room if your project has to do with organizing collections and catologing them#the first week I took note of which days the other two people whose projects are like that come#so I could avoid them and have the archive room to myself#so after I finished my work i could watch demon slayer in peace while still getting hours#but this one girl who’s project is working on the blog for the museum (does not need the archive room) keeps coming and sitting with me#it first happened like 4 weeks in so I assumed that there weren’t enough chairs in one the other rooms and that this was a one time thing#but it kept happening and when I moved to a different room she ended up sitting with me again#I happened to talk about this with a friend in passing#and my friend just started laughing because it turns out they were friends with the girl and she was trying to make friends with me#And i was an asshole who ignored her because i lowkey thought she was watching to make sure i was always working#I guess the next time i go I'll have an actual converstation with her instead of inquestive side-eyes
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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EXTREMELY REAL MOMENT FROM HIRANO HERE
#'people actually want to kiss the ppl they like?? i thought they made that up??? um. ok now how much of a freak does that make me'#what if they made a character so aroacespec. im not joking this chapter (25) alone is such proof in my mind#im sure plenty of ppl read this and went 'wow the extent of his denseness or whatever is genuinely frustrating' but i have literally done#this many times. i am shaking hands with him emphatically he's literally me i love him. if you've never googled if smth you've heard about#your whole life is actually normal (followed up by 'is it wrong to. Not??') you simply will never understand him like i do#his combo of being super intentionally thoughtful and also never considering things like this are just peak. what a guy#cannot stress enough that this is just about the concept of ppl wanting to kiss each other at all. 25 chapters in#look sometimes you gotta sit down and try to solve a sexuality crisis via increasingly desperate google searches about normalcy. anyway#hirano to kagiura#hirano taiga#sitting around a table w your friends talking about their love lives and going wait they didn't make that up for movies?? also been there#took kagiura's 'i want to marry him i'm in love w him but i haven't even thought about kissing him until now oh god' thing to the next leve#he is SO lost. somebody help him
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binding vow
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#done....collapses#up until 3am last night n sitting fr another 8 hours today to finish....#g o d#the things i do fr him.....#let it no longer b said that i only do elaborate paintings rife with symbolism tht feature gojo. megu my one true muse#as is Correct and Just#real talk tho i was just sketching th things i wanted to include without giving much thought to the Themes#w the exception being the spider lilies lmao I Know What Those Mean#but i ended up with a REALLY good life/death/marriage/loyalty thing going on????#w the lotus/spider lily being purity+rebirth/death#((not 2 mention 'far from the one he loves' like HELLO?????))#also w the temari balls being associated w femininity but having him dressed in groom's attire#like???? 90% unplanned but i ended up both cooking And eating#also happy 2 report that betta fish were kinder 2 me than the koi were :) no trouble from these lil guys#in fact everything abt this piece kind of came easily beyond the initial colour swatch??#thank u fr being an easy subject megu ilysm im sorry abt all the death imagery i dont mean it pls focus instead on th Life imagery :((((#i put a ring on it so u gotta wake up.....cant leave yuuji @ th altar ....#SPEAKING OF THE RING IK ITS ON THE RIGHT HAND we've been over this and its Okay#if i read a single comment .........#sorry 2 that one person who was like 'the next binding vow better be at itfs' wedding' ik this probably wasnt what u meant#but it did inspire me smile :)#anyway i need 2 stop looking at this its been over 24 hours
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a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)
#彡 moevie!#彡 cherishing.#kruin …. !! you sent this a few days ago but i am still . reeling in . /pos because i cannot believe i am seeing moze ( and myself ?! ) in#your !!!! style !!! your !! adorable !!! and beautiful !! style !!! and there is a lot i have to say — i am in the chattiest mood despite my#sleepiness !! FIRST omg ): thank you ?! thank you !! THANK YOU !!! for being so kind to me and drawing out a sketch that i will treasure for#eternity really 😭 !! i will gaze at this whenever i wake up … gaze at it before i sleep …. gaze at it when im sad … when im happy ( to#amplify the happiness of course !! ) OOOOH KRUIN. kruin . words can absolutely NOT describe how much i love your style … i just cannot ?!#figure out how to put it in words ?? i can’t just say ‘i like how you do this’ ‘and this’ because it’s the literal entire thing that i love#aiwnendjdkke and ): before i get too deep into that — i must thank you another time kruin !! because i know you’ve been busy — and of#course you must be ?! im sure life becomes much more hectic during the holidays and new years like this — so i’m just so soft over the fact#that you spent time to do this for me and i :’) i really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart — i would like to say ‘you really didn’t#have to!!’ BECAUSE YOU DIDNT !!! YIU DIDNT NEED TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME — YOU DIDNT ): IM JUST SO SAPPY AND MUSHY THAT YOU CHOSE TO AND ):#and the background being pink . i love pink !!! i know exactly where this specific shade of pink will prosper ( give me a second .. when i#awake ) .. BUT OH )): thank you so much kruin … it means so much to me .. more than i could ever try to explain !!! BUT IS IT OKAY IF I TALK#ABOUT HOW YOU DREW MOZE BECAUSE . i’m dead on the floor -> x0x this is me because you made his cheeks SO squishy HIS SIGNATURE SQUISHABLE#LOOK . I WONDER HOW ARTISTS MAKE HIM LOOK SO SQUISHY ?? the squish technique ?? BECAUSE HE LOOKS SO CUTE SHJEJD ): KRUIN YOURE SUCH AN AWESO#ME ARTIST . SO TO BE ABLE TO SEE HIM IN YOUR STYLE ….. *thanks everyone for allowing me to have eyes* a wonderful day !! to have eyes !!! i#will actually risk disintegrating into evieparticles if i even so much as mention the blush on his cheeks so — instead . YOU GAVE HIM SUCH A#oh no . the look on his face T T kruin i don’t want to talk about it !!!!! but you — the look on his face !!!! must you draw him in such a#cute manner /pos i am starting to feel speechless trying to talk about how pretty he is in your style because . perhaps toopretty for me#to even make any type of comment ( instead — i sneak a glance and then turn away because if i stare too long …. IF I STARE TOO LONG .. *expl#explodes* ) kruin i think i will just cry seeing the level of detail you put into this ): like my hair ): i think i will just kneel in front#of you and cry and apologize over and over as i wipe my tears on my sleeve because my tears make it difficult to properly thank you /lh#the fact that there are sparkles T T the world is full of sparkles when mr shadow exists !!! a lovely . YOU KNOW WHAT . the sparkles are#there because KRUIN EXISTS . I LOVE YOU KRUIN. I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH ))): I DONT RVEN KNOW HOW TO DTART EXPRESSING MY GRATUTUDE#tldr - i am gobsmacked & staring at this for the next ( infinite amount of time ) thank you kruin !!! ): wishing you only the best .#aggressively wishing you only the best * aggressively turning to go O_O at anything that dares threaten a lovely day for you!!!!
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(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)
grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself – he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.
in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner – who herself has been sacrificed for previously – and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.
cut to wild life.
this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an – albeit more distant – ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.
and yet:
"I'm going to have to kill Joel"
"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"
because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice – not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives – he will put his own life first, in the end.
there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.
(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective – it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)
#it would be so SO interesting to add martyn into the mix#(<– probably my most common quote but. he's the brainrot singularity ok)#i don't doubt for a SECOND life series martyn is extremely selfish#(it was so nice to have that recognised after limlife – even if it arguably did get worse over time)#(cue cc!martyn's 'ren's death permanently made martyn more selfish after 3rd life')#but the thing is – does the win even mean much to him anymore?#he was so ready to take the crown he was so ready to end it all#and yet#next series he's right back. everything starts as normal. nothing changed#does it even matter anymore? is there a point? to me it's no coincidence he's started placing lower afterwards#(before it was 6th (last member of dogwarts to fall in 3rd life despite being on the losing side of the war) 3rd 3rd 1st)#there's no way he has of knowing his fragment was repaired by a listener – he has no idea what fragments even are + is unconscious in the-#-void + has NO idea watchers and listeners are even at play!#(that's sth there's often confusion around – he's NOT a listener in his lore! he's not on a similar playing fieldl! and though the watchers#did reveal themselves at the end of last life/ that was wiped from c!martyn's memory as he went into the light (lore stream)#he's a regular confused traumatised person whose changed for the worse over the death games whom the watchers dislike after evo#who just wants things to be over with...)#anyway this to say#though if he WANTED to get to the end i'm SURE he wouldn't sacrifice himself (c!martyn at least – it's still relatively close to the win so#-not sure abt cc!martyn)#...does he actually want to?#anyway martyn ramble over#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#3rd life smp#secret life smp#grian#goodtimeswithscar gtws#trafficblr#double life smp
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im going to be a micro ass
as much as i was frustrated with a number of roadblocks over the past few months like my sewing machine breaking and not being able to afford infinite fabric lol- i had to return to illustrative art and that was a really good thing for my psyche. i think i can say that im like...actually genuinely happy with my art now? i dont want to come off as egotistical but i've always struggled with feeling OK about my illustrative stuff. But after the past few crash course months of daily exercises it feels like everything finally clicked. i can draw easier, faster, and when its done its like "oh yeah. thats my guy. there he is fr."
#ive wanted art to be a bigger part of my life but its always been a side thing i do out of convenience#i think the next step is being ok with just doing it for me#its easier to connect with people about cosplay bc they have some preexisting idea of the character and series#but i only draw OCs which dont have that so i quite literally lose people on an order of magnitude by a factor of 100 on post engagement#but the whole point of pursuing this is to get away from external rewards#like a lot of the comments i get about cosplay stuff are focused on my appearance which does a lot of harm- but that doesnt matter w/ art#and everything about it is my own its not someone elses character based on someone elses idea#its something that came from my own experiences and feelings
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