#thing is. i know exactly what they mean with that mass cover art

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Gekirock - Uruha & Kai interview (2021)

The New 10th Album and a Message for the Present Day, Released After Nearly Three Years! "What We’re Always Conscious of, at the Core, is the Live Show."

The long-anticipated full album MASS from the GazettE has finally arrived, marking nearly three years since their last release, NINTH. What’s more, this new work is their 10th studio album. Following the cancellation of their milestone 18th anniversary live concert last spring due to the pandemic, the band has been working steadily behind the scenes. This production involved significant online collaboration, a necessity of the times. The completed album is imbued with meaningful messages reflective of this unique era. Naturally, the release of such a monumental work raises expectations for live performances. Stay tuned for future announcements!

Interviewer: It has been almost three years since your last album, NINTH (released in 2018), and now you’ve completed MASS. Could you first reflect on the journey the GazettE has taken over this time?

KAI: After releasing NINTH, we spent quite a lot of time on an extensive tour, so a significant portion of our efforts as a band went into that.

URUHA: We were touring on and off for over a year, after all.

Interviewer: Indeed, starting with the hall tour PHASE #01-PHENOMENON in July 2018, followed by the standing tour PHASE #02-ENHANCEMENT, the live house tour PHASE #03 -Passion is Ferocious, the world tour PHASE #04 -99.999-, the Japan homecoming semi-final performance PHASE #05 -Mixed-Blood, and the FINAL NINTH LIVE AT 09.23 YOKOHAMA ARENA in September 2019—this LIVE TOUR spanned 61 performances, covering not only Japan but North America, South America, Europe, Asia—a truly massive undertaking.

KAI: Yes, and since it’s hard for us to mentally shift toward starting new material until after the tour is fully completed, this album’s creation followed the same process as usual—beginning about a year after the tour ended.

Interviewer: So when did the band—or even the individual members—begin to form a vision for MASS, even vaguely?

URUHA: The vision became clearer as we progressed with production. There wasn’t any rush to establish a clear direction; instead, we took the time to carefully discuss and decide on our next steps together.

KAI: By the end of 2019, we held our first song selection meeting. After a series of discussions, we gradually narrowed it down, eventually settling on the 11 tracks included in this album.

Interviewer: On March 10 of last year, during what was likely the middle of your album production period, the 18th-anniversary live show “18TH ANNIVERSARY DAY/6576” was originally scheduled to take place at the Musashino Forest Sport Plaza Main Arena. However, the GazettE made the decision to cancel the event after carefully assessing the situation, even before the first state of emergency declaration was issued. After that, it seemed like the band's activities went completely silent. While I assume you were focusing on creating MASS behind the scenes, why didn’t you opt for the types of outreach many artists were doing at the time, like audience-free streaming concerts or video uploads on YouTube?

URUHA: That’s simply because we had already planned to enter the album production phase at that point.

KAI: Actually, we had our second song selection meeting even before March 10. After that, we stopped production temporarily to switch into live mode and started preparing for the anniversary concert. Unfortunately, it ended up being canceled. So, once that was decided, we just returned to production as planned.

Interviewer: I see. When did you actually start recording?

KAI: We recorded in multiple phases, and the first session was last summer. At that time, we recorded just one track, the lead tune of the album, BLINDING HOPE.

Interviewer: Speaking of BLINDING HOPE, could you share why this particular song was chosen as the lead track for the album?

URUHA: It was a song RUKI (vocals) wrote and presented right from the start saying “this has to be the lead.” When we listened to it, it had a convincing impact and a strong presence that made it clear it was perfect as the lead track. All the members agreed on that point without hesitation.

KAI: This isn’t specific to this album; RUKI always thinks about it holistically and presents the main song and album title at the same time. We listened to his thoughts on that and respected his wishes as we continued to produce the album.

Interviewer: From the perspective of each player, what kind of sound did you think needed to be captured for the lead tune, BLINDING HOPE?

KAI: The phrases were already quite developed in the original composition, so I just added some of my own arrangements here and there. As for the sound, it wasn’t just about my approach as a drummer. Instead, we started from the question, “What sound should the band aim for next?” and built from there.

Interviewer: I'm really curious about what kind of conversations you had within the band when you were searching for this "next sound we should aim for."

KAI: Each of us brought up different reference points, including sounds from various international artists, we did talk about wanting to aim for something that focused on a fairly natural sound at first. I think that was because we were conscious of going in the opposite direction to our previous album, NINTH.

Interviewer: When comparing MASS with NINTH, the difference is striking. NINTH had a densely packed, almost enclosed soundscape, but in this album, even the sound of the kick drum seems to carry more resonance and a sense of space.

KAI: At first, we were even saying, “Should we just go back to recording normally for once?” But after further consideration, we decided to stick with the same separate recording method we used in the previous album. Of course, we used samples for some of the sounds, but one of the key changes was having a different drum technician this time. That likely contributed to the final result being noticeably distinct from NINTH.

Interviewer: Was the main change in the drum parts related to tuning?

KAI: It wasn’t just the equipment we used that changed; the change in the tuner was surprisingly significant. This person is very precise in tuning the snare and toms to match the original compositions perfectly. He seems to have great chemistry with me and provides lots of valuable advice. Honestly, I learned so much—it was really eye-opening.

Interviewer: It’s incredible that even with the GazettE’s 19-year career, you were still able to gain new insights like that.

KAI: Yeah, I was genuinely surprised by how much I still don’t know (laughs).

Interviewer: Did the unique drum sound that became the foundation of this album affect the guitar sound in any way?

URUHA: Since we recorded the guitars while listening to the recorded drum tracks, there were moments where I thought, “The sound is different from the pre-production stage. So that's how it turned out.” However, that didn’t lead to significant changes in the guitar sound. The sound changes drastically during the mixing stage, so getting caught up in minor adjustments during recording could cause inconsistencies in the overall album production. That’s why my focus was consistently on the sound of the album as a whole.

Interviewer: So you had to look at things from a big-picture perspective. Speaking of that, what were the key aspects you emphasized while working on MASS? My impression after listening to it is that there are many parts of this album that seem to be made with live performances in mind, starting with the SE track COUNT-10 leading into the lead tune BLINDING HOPE and the energetic ROLLIN’ with its drum solo intro.

URUHA: Absolutely, that’s exactly right. The GazettE rarely creates songs solely for recordings. We often approach music with live performances in mind. Even during the song selection process, we judge whether a track is suitable for live settings. Fundamentally, live performance is always at the core of what we do.

KAI: During the album production, we actually simulated setlists. We experimented with mixing new songs and existing ones to see what combinations would feel cohesive for a live performance. Based on those tests, we identified gaps like, “We need this type of song,” and added tracks accordingly.

Interviewer: Now, for the Gekirock readers, could each of you recommend two personal favorites from MASS?

URUHA: For the Gekirock audience, I have to start with BLINDING HOPE. It’s the one song that encapsulates the various elements contained within MASS. The melodic progression, the sense of speed, the intricacy of each instrument—this track is a condensed representation of the current state of the GazettE. Just by listening to it, you’ll get a good grasp of the album’s overall feel. And since Gekirock readers tend to be metalcore fans, I’d also recommend MOMENT.

Interviewer: Interesting choice. Why MOMENT specifically?

URUHA: For metalcore fans, I think it’s refreshing to sometimes take a break with a ballad like MOMENT featuring acoustic guitars. I’m guessing many of you don’t often listen to this type of song, and it’s also rare for the GazettE. It had been a while since I recorded with an acoustic guitar, and I hope you’ll enjoy this tranquil atmosphere.

Interviewer: When using acoustic guitars in the GazettE’s music, what is important to you?

URUHA: Normally, acoustic guitar parts are handled by AOI. However, MOMENT is a track where the acoustic guitar takes center stage throughout, including the guitar solo. Since it was such a special case, we emphasized capturing the natural resonance of the guitar body by recording it with a microphone. That said, faithfully reproducing the recorded sound in a live setting might be challenging due to the band’s overall acoustics, so I think we'll have to go through a process of trial and error from here on out.

"The thing is, the GazettE just can’t lie" - KAI

Interviewer: Not just MOMENT, but listening to MASS, I was reminded again of how strong the GazettE’s melodies are in general.

URUHA: I like heavy music, but I this is largely because our roots aren't in metalcore. Our roots are in visual kei, so of course we think about song melodies as the axis.

Interviewer: Meanwhile, KAI, what are your personal recommendations from MASS?

KAI: While I feel like I should pick something different from URUHA’s choices (laughs), I can’t leave out BLINDING HOPE. It’s the entrance to MASS, and more than any other track, it encapsulates what the GazettE is as a band. So, I can't leave it out.

URUHA: So, what about the other two songs?

KAI: Hmm, all the songs are my favorites, so it's hard to pick out just one (laughs).

Interviewer: In terms of drum phrases, HOLD has quite a flashy structure, doesn’t it?

KAI: Ah, yes, definitely. I think readers of Gekirock would probably prefer tracks like HOLD, BARBARIAN, and FRENZY. But personally, I’d like to recommend LAST SONG.

Interviewer: Please tell us why.

KAI: This is the song that concludes the album MASS, and if we do any tours in the future, it's definitely the song we'll play last at live shows.

Interviewer: That's why it's called LAST SONG.

KAI: Yes, it’s a track that really makes the live experience come to life, and I believe it will play an important role in our future live performances.

Interviewer: LAST SONG includes lyrics like "I was dreaming in despair" and "Wandering voices, here and now, screaming like that day." For those who have been eagerly waiting for the GazettE’s live shows since last spring, this song seems like it will be an incredibly emotional moment.

KAI: Yeah, this song carries a very strong message. The thing is, the GazettE just can’t lie—we end up expressing exactly how we feel in the most straightforward way. In that sense, BLINDING HOPE is also entirely that kind of song. Since this album was created during the pandemic, it was only natural for us to want to pack it full of the emotions we experienced during that time.

Interviewer: And which other track would you choose?

KAI: 濁 (Daku). I think this type of track might not be very familiar to Gekirock readers. It’s a song that really lets you immerse yourself deeply in its world, and I believe that’s one of our strengths. And being able to enjoy such a dark atmosphere is one of the best parts of visual kei, so it might actually be something fresh for Gekirock readers.

Interviewer: With tracks like NOX, which incorporates string elements into loud rock, and THE PALE, which evokes vivid imagery as you listen, the 11 songs on this album each stand out with their unique characteristics. That said, with such a wide variety of songs, wasn't it difficult to compile them into one album?

URUHA: If anything, it was actually a bit harder during NINTH. This time, we didn’t really struggle with that.

KAI: The GazettE has been a band that’s experimented with a lot of different things over the years. We’re quite accustomed to blending a variety of elements into a single album, so it’s something we’re pretty good at by now (laughs).

Interviewer: What was the most challenging part of the production process this time around?

URUHA: This time, because of COVID, we couldn’t gather as a band very often. All the string instrument parts were recorded at home. Even beyond the recording process, we had to proceed without being able to clearly see what each member was working on or how they were approaching things.

KAI: We even did the mixing online this time, which was a first.

Interviewer: When working on the guitar ensemble, did you also communicate with AOI online rather than in person?

URUHA: We kept using LINE and Zoom throughout pre-production. Even after the recording phase was done and we moved to mixing, we still had thorough discussions to make sure the ideal form we each had in mind matched up with the actual sound, so we kept communicating until the very last minute before the deadline.

Interviewer: In such a setup, what approach did you take to find solutions to issues as they arose?

URUHA: First, I tried to draw out AOI’s vision as much as possible—what kind of sound he was aiming for. In the past, I might have jumped in with my own ideas first, like, “Here’s what I think.” But this time, I focused on understanding what AOI wanted to achieve and then considered how I could contribute. Luckily, with tools like re-amping and cabinet IRs (impulse responses), we could tweak sounds extensively. We were able to adjust both AOI’s tone and mine in real-time during our discussions to bring them closer to our shared vision. It was a somewhat tedious and roundabout method (laughs), but it gave us ample time to share and refine our ideas. I think the way we aligned as a twin-guitar duo turned out quite well in the end.

Interviewer: Wouldn’t it be fair to say that it wasn’t a roundabout process but rather a meticulous and careful approach?

URUHA: I guess you could put it that way. Also, this time it was necessary to create from a bird's-eye view, rather than from a subjective point of view.

Interviewer: The twin guitar sound doesn’t clash unnecessarily; instead, it achieves a harmonious and refined ensemble, which makes perfect sense now.

URUHA: I'm glad. If you could feel that, it's all worth it (laughs). While it wasn’t to the extent of completely suppressing myself, this time I really focused all my energy on fully embracing the intentions of the composer, each part's preferences and finding the best possible landing point.

Interviewer: After completing MASS, is there anything new you’ve realized or learned from this experience?

KAI: We were able to do the production online, and as a result, we managed to create something like this. I’ve come to understand that the ideal way to work would be for everyone to gather in person for things like mixing. Hearing the sound from the same speakers and discussing it on-site is really important. When each of us listens on different speakers, our discussions can get a bit misaligned (laughs).

URUHA: The sound changes depending on the environment, after all. Things we used to do smoothly without any issues took unexpected extra effort this time. That’s definitely something to address moving forward, but realizing it was itself a significant takeaway from this production.

Interviewer: This album has been titled MASS. I would be grateful if you could explain a little about the thoughts behind this title.

KAI: The word MASS itself carries many meanings, so it’s not like the title is meant to reflect just one of those meanings. But the aspect of "MASS" as "one cohesive entity" is definitely one of them.

Interviewer: It seems like listeners will have the opportunity to explore and find the meanings themselves while enjoying this album. Also, this happens to be the GazettE’s 10th studio album.

KAI: Yes, and we kept that in mind with the jacket design. It’s a collage that incorporates elements from all our album covers since our first full-length album, DISORDER, released in 2004. In that sense, you could interpret MASS as a square within a square*, and I think it can be interpreted in many other ways.

*The term he used is "枡目の枡" (masume no masu). It’s like saying the "unit" or "box" that is a part of the grid. So, it’s a way of emphasizing that the "masu" itself is a part of a larger, organized structure made up of smaller units.

URUHA: That said, MASS isn’t what you’d call a conceptual album. It wasn’t created around a specific theme. It’s more accurate to say it encapsulates the core of the band, distilled into one record at this moment in time. But this doesn’t represent some sort of final destination for the GazettE. If anything, it’s just a checkpoint. This is our best work at this time, but there are still many unanswered questions even after finishing the recording. Those are things we’ll have to discover as we keep moving forward. Creating this album really reminded me, after three years, "Oh yeah, this is what making an album feels like" (laughs).

Interviewer: As the GazettE celebrates 19 years this year and approaches its 20th anniversary next year, we sincerely hope for the day when we can hear the songs from MASS performed live as soon as possible.

KAI: Since we’ve released MASS, of course we want to follow it up with live performances. That’s definitely on our minds. However, we’ll need to consider the timing carefully. Regardless, we’re making preparations so that we’re ready to go whenever the opportunity arises. So, I’d like to say it clearly here: We will do live shows!

URUHA: The issue of COVID-19 is a global one, so for now, saying “We want to do live shows” is really just an expression of our hopes. But if people listen to MASS and feel, “I want to go to their concert!” then we believe it’s our job to create the conditions to respond to that feeling as much as possible moving forward.

Interviewer: How are you feeling about the upcoming 20th anniversary next spring?

URUHA: We had a lot of plans in place for the 20th anniversary, but some of them have had to be changed under the current circumstances. Still, when I think about it, I feel like reaching 20 years is pretty incredible. I'm amazed that we've lasted this long (laughs).

KAI: Hahaha (laughs).

URUHA: But as the years go by, I’ve come to feel more and more that it’s because of the five of us that we’ve been able to keep going. Our members are truly resilient, and their love for the band runs deep. Without that, we wouldn’t have made it through all the rough seas we’ve faced over the years. I felt that once again when we finished MASS.

KAI: That’s why, even beyond the 20th anniversary, all we want to do is keep expressing what we want to convey through our music. That’s everything for the GazettE.

[peonierose]

Round Robin: Chapter 5 - Don’t call me Angel

Book: OH & TRR crossover

Characters mentioned: Luna Auclair (F!OC - OH), Bryce Lahela (M!MC - OH), Tobias Carrick (M!MC - OH, Maxwell Beaumont (M!MC - TRR) and Bertrand Beaumont (M!MC - TRR)

Words in total: 3,373k

A/N: Masterlist for Round Robin @choicesprompts I’m participating for Round Robin for the 1st time and I really hope I could do the characters justice 🥰

Side note: Thank you so much for helping me with this story and helping me get inspired @aallotarenunelma & @annieruok94 🩷🩷🩷🩷

A few weeks ago…

Luna

The phone rang somewhere in the house while I was in the middle of an art project.

A few seconds later I heard footsteps and when I turned around I saw Bryce appear in the doorway, handing me my phone.

”Who is it?“ I asked and turned to my canvas again.

”No idea some fancy talking guy said he wanted to talk to you.“

”Is he sure he got the right person?“ ”Beats me.“

I furrowed my brow and pushed my dark blonde hair out of my face and accidentally got some teal paint in my hair. Good thing it’ll wash out.

”Hello?“ I wiped my paint covered fingers on a cloth I kept handy when I painted.

”Am I speaking to Ms. Luna Auclair?“ A deep voice with a slight accent can be heard from the other end.

”Yes. And who is this?“ I put the phone on speaker and got up slowly as I took my brushes to the sink to wash them.

”My name is Bertrand Beaumont from House Beaumont in Cordonia. I’m sure you’ve heard of me.“

”Hmm. Sorry doesn’t ring a bell.“ I say not able to resist teasing him. Bryce snickered next to me.

”You’re so mean.“ He mouthed, and I kissed his stubbled cheek, making him smile.

I turned back to the conversation, putting Bertrand out of his misery. Poor guy must’ve thought the worst of me.

”I’m just kidding Mr. Beaumont I know who you are. So what can I do for you?“ I turned off the faucet and put my paint brushes upside down so they could dry.

”I could use your help.“ He sounded hesitant, which made me instantly curious.

”Help with what?“

”We have our PR firm that we founded, and we’re trying to give some people a better public image.“ I took my phone into my hand.

”What does that have to do with me? I’m not a PR person. I have a bachelor's degree in fine arts, and I’m currently teaching art at the University of Hawaii.“

I took a look at my half-finished painting sitting on the easel, and decided to let the painting dry for now. I’ll keep working on it later.

When I closed the door Bryce and I walked towards the backyard, where we sat down in our beach chairs, while Bertrand’s voice kept coming out of the speaker.

”I’m very well aware. But I know you’re someone who’s skilled as an artist. And I know you think outside the box, and that’s exactly what we need.“

”I will need more information than that if you want my help.“ I could hear some commotion before another voice replaced Bertrand's.

”Luna right? Hi I’m Maxwell, Bertrand’s brother. Look, my brother's social skills suck sometimes. I have the cliff notes version if you want it?“

”Um…sure fire away.“

”Alright. A few weeks ago there was a bit of an…let’s call it an incident. Tobias Carrick was caught making out with the daughter of one of the hospital directors of Mass Kenmore. Someone apparently posted it online. Of course, it’s gone viral. The damage is done and he could get fired. Because apparently it’s unethical.“

”Poor Tobias. He’s a good friend of me and my fiancé Bryce so he has our sympathies especially since this a massive violation of their privacy to put the video online. I’m really sorry he’s going through that.“

I looked at Bryce who was as surprised as me to hear about this.

”Both Bertrand and I feel terrible, because Tobias seems like such a great guy and then for someone to swoop in and destroy his image like that. This is actually where you come into play. Let’s just say we’ve tried other people to fix his image, but it didn’t work.“

”Like I told your brother, I’m not a PR person. I have zero experience.“

”That’s not what we’re looking for. I’m talking about your other accolades. You’re not only one of the youngest people to finish your bachelor degree, but one where all your professors had only glowing compliments for you. You also published your own book, called Kala Kala - Overcoming anxiety with the help of art. Very nice read. I loved it, it’s also super colorful by the way. Not only do you teach art at the senior center, you’re an active member at arts on the fence, a non-profit organization in Honolulu, Hawaii. You love malasdas and are allergic to ginger. Should I continue? I’ve got more.“

”I…no…that’s fine. But how did you find out that much about me? Not everything is available online.“ I was wondering how the hell they got my phone number, and all the things in my bio Maxwell just mentioned. Why would they even be interested in seeking out my help?

”Let’s say a mutual, redhead found out about it. She bought some of your art, and she said you could be a good fit. I think the phrase »ovaries of steel« was mentioned.“

I gasped in awe.

”You don’t mean Olivia Nevrakis do you? Because then I’m so in. I’d love to meet her. And of course help out in any way I can.“

I heard a whoop and a sigh.

”Is that a yes?“ Maxwell asked unsure.

”Hold on a sec.“ I muted the conversation.

”What do you think B?“ I asked Bryce and I could see his beautiful face, that I could sketch every single day and not get tired of looking at.

”I mean I’m sorry Tobias is going through this. He’s our friend, but are you sure you’re up for it?“ His brown eyes were filled with worry as he gently caressed my stomach.

”I’ll be fine. Women have gotten pregnant before and have worked until they’ve given birth.“ I said with more conviction than I felt right now.

”I know you’re trying to be strong but okay. If you’re really sure, then I’m okay with it, but the smallest hitch, and we’re going back home. And don’t think of going alone. I don’t care who they are. You’re my fiancé and the mother of my kids. So they better believe I’ll be going with you.“

”I love your protective mode.“

”Out of all the things I’ve said, that’s what you focused on?“

I grinned and then I unmuted the conversation.

”Maxwell? I’m in.“

”Thanks Luna. I promise you won’t regret it.“

”I better don’t. Otherwise, you’ll hear me yell at you.“

Maxwell chuckled.

”You got it. There’ll be a private jet to pick you up. I’ll send you the arrival date. Can’t wait to meet you. From the pictures I’ve seen, you're really beautiful.“

”Careful there Casanova.“ Bryce chimed in, and I grinned as I pushed my hand through his soft brown hair, making him relax.

”No worries, I know she’s taken. We’ll see you soon in Cordonia, bye.“

Before I could say anything else the phone call ended. Bryce and I just stared at the phone and then laughed at how surreal the situation was.

Who would’ve thought I’d meet members of House Beaumont?

Though it looked as if a new adventure was coming our way.

5 days later

So here I was on day five not making any kind of improvement whatsoever.

I’ve tried talking to Tobias, but nothing worked to get through to him.

He acted as if nothing was wrong and there’s no part where he could lose his job. He’s been painted as the bad guy but doesn’t seem to care.

I got up this morning, let Bryce sleep in a little, as I went down to the pool to figure out a new strategy for how to fix this mess.

That’s when I saw Tobias flirting with a woman by the pool.

You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m trying to repair his image, and he’s out here flirting? Oh, hell no!

”Having fun?“ I asked when I stood next to him. Tobias turned his light green eyes to me, focusing on me rather than the woman he was just talking to a minute ago.

As if he wasn’t already good-looking enough, the smile he threw my way made his face even more beautiful.

”Good morning to you too, gorgeous.“

”Sorry buddy but that charm is wasted on me. I’m engaged and I’m expecting.“

”Does that mean I can’t flirt with you?“ Tobias smirked.

”You can. But it won’t have any effect.“ I said and took a towel from the rack and threw it at him.

”Get dressed.“ I said, and he took the towel, but didn't move. He threw an apologetic smile at the woman who was sitting next to him. She slipped him a small piece of paper and left. He watched her walk away and nodded his head in appreciation.

I cleared my throat, and he turned his gaze on me.

”Let me guess you have another glorious idea how to restore my image?“

”You can call it that. You have 10 minutes to get dressed and be back.“

”Let’s make it 15 alright?“ Tobias laughed.

”Now it’s 9 minutes.“

”Does that tone ever work on Bryce?“

”I’m not going to repeat myself.“

”Now you sound like a school teacher.“ He replied but got up. That’s progress I guess.

”Look, I was assigned to give you some sort of glowing makeover for your reputation. If you don’t want it? Fine. I have better things to do.“

Tobias stared back at me, his charm gone.

”Like what? Be all sunshiny? No offense, but don’t you ever have a bad day or get angry? In all the time you’ve been here you’re always smiling and never losing your cool. You’re more like a robot.“

His comment hit me more than I thought it would, so I got up in his face. Which is hard since he’s taller than me, but I made it work.

”Don’t mistake my bubbly personality for being just that. There’s a lot more to my character and my personality than being happy and positive. You don’t know me that well if your words are any indication.“

His eyes widened for a fraction.

”My bad.“

”And that was lesson number 12.“

Tobias rolled his eyes.

”What I don’t get is why they even assigned you to me? We’re polar opposites.“

”You know what’s interesting? In our whole convos, you’ve avoided talking about this whole incident that led up to this moment right now. You keep acting as if you don’t care, and it’s no concern of yours. But you avoid talking about the core problem.“

Tobias crossed his arm.

”Please enlighten me.“

”You’re not a bad guy. But you’d rather have people believe you’re a dick then let them think you have a heart. That’s interesting.“

”Are you done psychoanalyzing me?“ His voice sounded more and more irritated.

”If you think that we’re done? Then you don’t know me at all. We’re just getting started. Get dressed. And don’t be late. If you’re not down in 5 minutes I’m leaving. So dealers choice.“

”Fine, I'll go get dressed. Doesn’t mean this conversation is over.“

”Now it’s 8 minutes.“ I said and watched him quicken his steps while I sat down and enjoyed the nice view of the ocean.

10 minutes later…

”What is this place?“ He asked without really seeming to pay attention.

”It’s called a room. With walls and windows. And sometimes there’s even a door.“

He snickered.

”I know what a room is. I meant what are we doing in this room?“ He looked at all the cans of paint I had people assemble for this exercise.

”That’s the fun part. Team building exercise. It’s also pregnancy safe, which is a plus.“ I grinned, but he just looked at me and didn't reply.

”The point of this exercise is to let go of past hurts. Look at it this way, you can just let all your anger out. I like to call it angry painting.“

I take a can of paint, open it and see the color coral crush. I took it and threw some at the wall.

Tobias regarded me and I handed him another can, he took it but stared at it as if it’s been touched by Medusa herself.

”Do you even know how to get angry?“ He looked at me skeptically as he kept holding the paint can in his hands.

”Excuse me?“

He opened the can of paint and a soft canary yellow joined the coral crush tone on the wall.

”Look, all you’ve said is how I have a heart and I don’t let others see it. But you don’t even know me. How do you expect me to trust you?“

”Is this finally the heart-to-heart you’re giving me? One that the others failed to get?“

”Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to partner up.“ He set the can down and was about to walk away.

”Giving up so soon? That’s a shame.“

”What?“ He stopped and slowly turned my way.

”I know you’re the type of guy who likes to do things rather than sit around and talk.“

”You’ve been paying attention? I’m shocked. Everybody knows I’m competitive, that's not a secret.“

”Of course I’ve been paying attention. You know I have bad days and angry moments too. I’m not just some blonde bimbo, who can’t count to three. I notice a lot more than people think.“

”Such as?“ He raised his eyebrows daringly as he leaned against the door frame.

”When you get nervous you bite your lip and clench your left fist. Which would lead me to believe you are left-handed.“

I kept going.

”Whenever I ask you a personal question or try to tackle the issue, you laugh it off, meaning you’re not ready to talk to me or improve your image. You think it’s fine and it doesn't need any polishing. If people don’t like you or think you’re a dick that’s on them.“

Tobias doesn’t say anything.

”I’d wager you’re someone who likes to do things his way or the highway. You don’t play well with others because you like to be in control. It’s hard for you to give anyone even an ounce of your trust because you believe trust is earned. You said it yourself I don’t know much about you, so why should you trust me? So did I get any of that right?“

Tobias didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move a muscle.

”Your silence indicates I got something right.“

”Even if you did get it right, it doesn’t mean I need your help.“

”So what you’d let your image get destroyed and let others decide on the narrative rather than trying to fix it? That doesn’t sound like the Tobias I got to know.“

”I can’t control what people think.“

”Maybe not. But you can let them see that there’s more to you. Do you know what I see right now?“

”What?“

”Someone who’s been hurt in the past, and now you’re hurt again. But you’re trying so hard to bury those feelings that you’re drowning in them.“

”Sounds like a therapy session.“ He mumbled.

”Art is therapy. Did you know I basically got bullied out of the art gallery I worked at in Boston?“

He shook his head. By the look in his eyes I could tell I got his attention.

”I had no idea, but I’m sorry to hear that. Why did you get fired?“

”I quit. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for years. And they’ve seen me as someone they can demean and push around. My voice was snuffed out. I’ve always seen art as freedom, choosing to make art work for you. Art has helped me find an outlet, find my voice. Let me be creative and put paint on a canvas when I can’t name my own feelings.“

He rubbed his neck as if uncomfortable by my word vomit.

”I had no idea. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick. I just…“

”You needed to vent so you let it out on me. I get it. We all lash out when we’re angry. Usually at the people we’re close to.“

”But you seem so calm and composed. You and Bryce never even fight. You’re so perfect.“

I threw my head back and let out a laugh. Making it echo from the walls.

I turned back to Tobias who was looking at me as if I grew another head.

”Do you really believe that? Of course Bryce and I fight. We have disagreements all the time. But we’ve learned how to handle them. Even if we don’t speak to each other for days, it doesn't mean we hate each other. But it means hey I need space I’ll talk when I’ve cooled off. We found our rhythm. We love and understand each other.“

He sighed and sat down, leaning on the wall that was just covered with paint, he winced when he realized it, but he didn’t sit down somewhere else.

”What a mess I’ve created, but maybe you’re right.“

”I must have a fever, or did you just say I’m right?“ I grinned and he smiled back.

”No you heard me correctly. You’re right. I’m scared to end up alone. So that’s why I pushed Chloe away. The woman from the video. We’ve gotten pretty close, and I don't know I panicked. I mean whoever took the video had no right to do that, but I guess people judged me and said how I’m sleeping with her because I’d like to get to the top. But that’s not true. I like the job I have. I have no desire to work in an office. I love working with patients. Hearing them tell me what’s wrong and finding a way to make things better for them.“

”Could it be that you’re scared you won’t measure up? Wanting to prove others wrong? You’d rather be the one who ends a relationship rather than the one who gets his heart broken?“

”Yes to all of the above.“ He nodded.

”Alright. That’s something we can work on.“ I said with renewed energy.

”How? We can’t just fix this mess in a matter of days.“

I smiled softly at him.

”No. But we can slowly build towards improving. You know there is a Hawaiian proverb my grandma always uses: A’ Ohe Pu’u Ki’eki’e Ke Ho’a’o ‘Ia e Pi’i.“

”Uhh…meaning?“ He asked.

”No cliff is so tall it cannot be climbed.“

”I kinda like that phrase.“ He said thoughtfully.

”Yeah it’s beautiful. You know what else? You’re not broken. It just means you haven’t figured out the right formula. I don’t want to turn you into someone you’re not. I just want you to realize that if you keep pushing people away who’d like to be in your life you’ll end up all alone. And that’s not what I want for you. You’re smart, funny and good-looking. Don’t let it go to waste.“

Tobias shook his head as grinned at me.

”You know? Now I understand why Bryce fell for you.“

I grinned at him.

”I told you so. There’s more to me than you might think.“

”I can see that. Also, please tell me I’m not the only one you boss around. At least tell me you do that to Bryce too.“

”Oh trust me I do.“ I laughed again because it felt as if we reached a good point. And I’m glad I could get him to open up.

I can see a big grin forming on Tobias face and I already knew there’s something snarky coming.

”Also I did get something right on the first try.“ He grinned.

”Let me guess how to do sex right.“ I sighed.

”No. It was actually how to pick friends. Maybe after we solve this mess I can try and restore some of my friendships.“

”You got this Carrick.“ I slapped his arm.

”Now you sound like Lahela.“

I winked at him.

”Now what?“ He asked after getting up.

”Now we slowly improve your image. With me by your side things can only get better.“ He laughed out loud and we continued to throw paint at the wall. We might’ve not solved everything, but we’re getting there.

[ceilingfan5]

spies + reality tv au :0

“I hate this,” Kravitz says sweetly. 

“You absolute baby.” Sloane adjusts his collar, perfectly hiding both the mic and his lifeline gadgets. Some of them. A lot of his favorites had to stay back at base for this one. Does he still have at least five knives on his person? Obviously. Kravitz is a lot of things, but never unprepared.

“When I signed up for treason et al I did not see this under the terms and conditions, S. Espionage-”

“Is what you make of it. And you know what? I could have you at a furry convention, you know that? Pull up your fucking fursona, coward, too late, you’re a lizard now! Have fun trying to go to the bathroom!”

“I would not be a lizard,” Kravitz says, scandalized. “I-”

“Argue with me later, hot shot.” Sloane artfully musses his hair. “You’ve got a boy to woo.” 

“Listen.”

“Mhm.”

“Listen!” Kravitz paces a little, toying with one of his buttons. “Wooing I can do. Woo, subdue, coup, follow through-”

“You’re rhyming, K. And pacing. And fiddling.”

“I always fiddle,” Kravitz lies. Unless spending all his focus on standing stock still sort of counts. “What I mean is, I can seduce some idiot, no problem. But my whole career has been staying out of sight. My cover is blown when they broadcast this. What, am I going to get plastic surgery? I have a cute nose, S!”

She snickers. 

“You’ll be fine,” she promises. “Base has a plan. Trust the system, just do your job.” 

Kravitz grumbles, but they both know he’s going to do his damnedest. 

Once he’s ready, he submits himself to the whims of the stage manager, and is shoved out into the beautifully, soullessly decorated set, along with all of the other too-attractive guys, who for the most part, are just as hollow as the sticks in vases and mass-produced hotel art on the walls. They’re all milling about, talking about absolutely nothing and trying to figure out where all the cameras are. One guy legitimately just keeps flexing. 

Kravitz sighs. 

“What a boner,” startles him from out of nowhere, and Kravitz turns (calmly, so cool and calm and collected and spy-like and handsome) to see a bizarrely dressed contestant that doesn’t exactly match the other douchebags gathered here. Kravitz tries to pretend he totally noticed the guy sneaking up on him (how???) and keeps watching the obnoxious dude take his shirt off. Even though he wants to see this gorgeous guy with the dark roots showing and the cardigan with what has to be at least fifteen pockets over booty shorts. He needs to know what those shorts say on the ass.

It’s vital to his mission.

“Absolutely,” he laughs. “I can’t say I’ll be trying to woo that one.”

“What, you don’t want to lick those abs?” They watch as a stage manager tries to chase the guy and cow him into being a little less shirtless. “Name’s Greg, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Greg,” gotta be a fake name. “You can call me Drake,” Kravitz adds. 

‘Greg’ looks at him and smiles a knowing smile. Kravitz smiles right back, offering his hand to shake, and man, those eyes are dazzling. Hard, knowing, but dazzling. Kravitz kisses his hand, just to make a real stir, and notices that his fingers smell like gunpowder. 

Kravitz knew there was going to be someone from the other side here. Shame he’s so fucking handsome. 

“May the best man win,” Kravitz says, with a charming wink. His heart is pounding. Do they have the same target? Is this whole thing a setup? Is he going to die?

“Oh,” ‘Greg’ laughs. “I plan to.”

[spookymystery67]

I Wish I Could Walk In Heels

AN: Oooh, so close to Ada! Not this chapter though. Sorry lol. I, once again, did not re-read fully. I glanced at it. So mistakes may be possible. Have fun folks!

TW: Language, zombies, gore, guns, Brian Irons (fucking hate that guy), ect. The usual Resident Evil stuff. Enjoy.

Chapter 6:

-September 29, 1998-

By the time you had back tracked and made it through the gate it was past midnight. Early morning 12 am on September 29th. Here's to hoping this day will be better. You don't know how much more shit you could take.

First goal, get into the police station. Easier said than done considering all the entrances were blocked. Either by items or by the undead.

Oh wait, an open window. Bingo. Only thing is you had to take out a few zombies trying to make their way through. You managed to do so fairly easily. At this point, you're a zombie killing pro. You know exactly what part of the head to hit to make it explode in one shot. The morbid part of you is weirdly satisfied when that happens. But it's nice not to waste 5 shots on one zombie. My, how far you've come.

You shimmied the window open and climbed through, carefully and quietly shutting it behind you. You don't know what could be in here.

You turned and your stomach dropped at the sight before you. This isn't good. Looks like the police station was overrun. How do you know this? Well, the first thing you saw when you turned around was blood. Blood and dead bodies. At least, you hoped they were dead. You didn't want to use up more ammo than necessary.

Okay, next mission, find Ben. Again, easier said than done. You've never been to the former art museum, now turned into a police station. You have no idea where you are currently. Just that it was dark and bloody and there were bodies.

You see a door down the hall to the left and one down the hall in front of you. You tried to think. You entered from the far left of the building, the first window. So if you walk forward, you might reach the main hall and find survivors. Survivors who can hopefully help you find Ben and you can all leave this city, living happily ever after knowing Umbrella will get shut down after this incident.

I mean, there is no way they can sweet talk their way out of it, right? They caused an outbreak and a mass genocide of over 100,000 people. Oh, and let's not forget the animals. No creature was left unscathed. They fucked up. They fucked up big time.

Fuckers.

You decided to just carefully walk to the forward door and see where you end up. You opened the door and saw what you believed to be the reception room. Unfortunately, there were more bodies. You see another door and decided to try it out and see where it leads.

You opened the door into a big, grand and fancy room with marble statues. Okay, this is promising. You saw the big double doors and decided that this was the main entrance. 

Now you just need to find survivors.

"Ma'am? Are you alright? You're not bitten are you?" A man's voice asked, startling you.

You jumped and gasped, hand on your chest to calm your heart. "Holy- no. No. This isn't my blood." You awkwardly gestured to yourself, as you turned to face the man. A police officer, judging by the uniform. Funny

If it wasn't for the circumstances you're sure you would have been arrested immediately waltzing in a police station in blood covered clothes.

"Ah. Zombies?" He asked.

"And the like. Lots of stuff happening out there." You said awkwardly. He nodded.

"And in here. Barely anyone is left anymore. I have a man searching for a way out for those of us who remain. But the longer we stay here the more our numbers dwindle." He said.

You nodded in understanding. "Oh, I'm Y/n by the way."

"I'm Marvin Branagh. Nice to meet you. Where'd you come from?" He asked.

"Oh, I climbed through a window. Had to kill some zombies in the process. Sorry for, you know, breaking and entering."

"You killed some of those things trying to get in. I'm not mad." He laughed. You studied the man closely.

Marvin had a short, buzzed haircut and a goatee on his dark skinned face. Looking in his eyes, you could tell that he was just as tired as you were. If not more. The weight of everything has taken a toll on him.

"I'm actually looking for someone. A friend of mine was arrested just before this all started. You think you could help me find him?" I asked.

"Hmm, well the prisoners were all released from what I was told." Your heart sinks, maybe Ben wasn't here.

"Who told you that? Irons?" You asked.

He nodded. "I haven't been to the cells since this all started, though, so I may be wrong. There are quite a few obstacles to get there. The undead and locked doors alike. You'd have to work to get there." He wished he could be more helpful, but this station is expansive and crawling with zombies and Lickers. He couldn't afford to go running around when he still had a few survivors to take care of.

"You can't help me?" You questioned.

He shook his head. "I have a few survivors left to look after. I can give you a map, but otherwise, you're on your own on this one. I'm sorry." 

You shook your head. "No worries. I understand. Focus on getting your people out of the city. I'll go see if my friend is still around and then join you." 

"Alright. Here's that map I promised you. First, second and third floor. Don't lose it. I don't have another one to give you." He warned.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." You tell him, before studying the map. Looks like the only way to get to the holding cells is through the parking garage. The only way you see to get there is through an elevator in Irons office.

"Any chance you can point me another direction that leads to the parking garage?" You asked Marvin.

"The only other way is blocked. So unfortunately going through his office is the only way to go. Be careful though, people have been "mysteriously" dying when he's present, and I just know he has something to do with it." He told you. 

"What do you mean?" You question.

"Well, he started off by giving us strange orders. Like locking all the doors and scattering our weapons throughout the station. Then he went one step further and separated the survivors into separate groups. Haven't seen any of them since." He told you.

Smart man. Finally catching on to how shifty his Chief of Police actually is. I guess the outbreak is making Irons show his true colors.

"I assume I need a key." You said.

"Yes, the diamond key. There are at least two hidden around the station. Where exactly, I'm not sure. I wish I could be of more help." He said.

"It's fine. I'll figure it out. I'll break the damn door if I have to. Thank you." 

He nodded. "Meet back here when you're done. I should be here when you get back."

You smiled and nodded. Turning on your feet, you made your way up the stairs to the second floor to explore and see if you could find anything useful. Like a key or lock pick. Or a grenade. It's a fucking wooden door. It can break. 

One way or another, you're getting through that room.

-September 29, 1998-

You explored about every damn inch of the second floor you could access and didn't find a damn diamond key. You found more ammo for your guns though. And grenades and more guns, but you just took one grenade and left the rest for someone else who may need them more. It's not like you're a weapons expert here.

You might just blow up the door. You're just worried about attracting what survivors had deemed "Lickers" in the process. Lickers. Not a name you would have chosen, but fitting I suppose. 

As you were about to head to Irons office, you heard gunshots from the main entrance area.

You quickly ran out the door and down the stairs, coming across Marvin. He was clutching his side in pain.

"Hey! Hey, what happened? Are you hurt?" You asked him as you ran up to check on him.

"Stay away from me!" He exclaimed, panicked. He pushed you away and ran through a door. Where was he going?

The door to the front entrance opens and you turn to see who it was, hand on your gun ready to shoot, only pausing when you recognize who it was.

"Tyrell?" You asked.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing."

"A mission. You?"

"Same here. Sort of. Need help with anything?" You offered as he walked over to the computers on the desk meant to be for the receptionists.

As Tyrell was about to respond, the door opened again and you saw another familiar face.

"Where'd that cop go?"

"Don't know, don't care. We got a job to do. If our intells still worth a damn, then Bards' in the S.T.A.R.S office. Let's find him and take him into custody." Tyrell said.

"Custody? I thought this was a rescue." Carlos said, before pausing when he finally noticed you. "Y/n?"

"Hey. Small world, huh? Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair in a moment. Just a heads up though, if you hear a loud boom coming from upstairs, that's me with a grenade." You tell them.

"Do I wanna know?" He asked.

"Eh, it's just that nearly every damn door has been locked. I've been unlocking everything upstairs and trying to find one key to a certain room. Haven't had any luck though."

"What key? Maybe I can keep an eye out." Carlos offered.

"Not if I blow it up first. But if you find a diamond key lying around, then let me know." 

"Alright, will do. Good to see you, Y/n."

"You too. Later boys. Stay safe. Oh, and watch out for Lickers. They're nasty little fuckers."

"What?"

"Lickers. Mutated monsters with no skin and long tongues that can pierce skin. Not fun. Anyways, good luck." You tell them as you walk back upstairs to make your way back to the office. You listened to their conversation as you went.

"Carlos, take a look at this. I've located the S.T.A.R.S office. Remember, Bard had access to Umbrella's darkest secrets. He knows we'll try to keep him under our thumb." Tyrell said.

"So this "search and rescue mission" is really more like "find and detain". Right. Good to know." You hear Carlos's voice fade the further you went.

Is Nathaniel Bard here? You very much doubt it since Marvin hadn't mentioned any survivors in the S.T.A.R.S office. And what do they plan to do when they find him?

You shook your head. You have no time for more side quests. You have to find Ben.

You made your way to his office and as you turned the corner, the door slammed open and Irons walked out. Quickly turning around, you opened a closet door, sliding in, shutting it, and listening with bated breath as he stomped away from his office and down the hall where you had just been standing moments ago.

You waited until you were sure the coast was clear before carefully opening the door and peaking out into the hall. No sign of Irons. You walked out of the closet and made your way back to the office door. You checked to see if it was unlocked. Nope. 

Just as you were about to break the damn door down, it slammed open and you lightly screeched as a body collided with your own.

"Get off me!" A voice yelled. A familiar voice.

Backing up and looking at the owner of the voice, your eyes widened. "Katherine?" You questioned in disbelief.

Katherine looked up with tears in her eyes when she recognized you. "Y/n!" She quickly pulled you in close and held you tightly.

You lightly shushed her and pushed her into the room, shutting the now unlocked door behind you. "What are you doing here? I thought you would have been long gone by now. With your father." 

"He left me." Katherine said, anger in her tone. "He left me in the care of Irons and got out of the city as fast as he could as soon as things started to go down. You were right about him. And about Irons. We need to go. This is the first time he's let me out of his sight." She began crying slightly, the stress from everything getting to her.

You broke the hug and looked over her appearance. She was wearing a pretty white dress and her hair was half pinned back. She didn't look outwardly harmed. You would have killed Irons if she had.

"Did he do anything to you?" You asked as you dragged her outside to the balcony leading to the elevator to the garage.

"No, but I watched him kill all those people. I know I'm next. You were right, Y/n. He's a horrible person. And we need to leave before he gets back." She grabbed at your arms, desperate that you understand.

"Okay, we will. We just need to make a pit stop first." You said as you made it to the elevator. You pressed the button, summoning the elevator.

"The parking garage? Why?" She asked.

"Because that also happens to be the only way to get to the cell block."

"For, Ben? Irons said he killed him. He's gone, Y/n." She said sadly.

The elevator opened up and you dragged her in, quickly pressing the button once you both cleared the doorway.

You shookyour head. "I refuse to believe that. We at least have to check before we go."  The elevator started descending and you grabbed your shotgun and checked that it was fullyloaded. Lord knows what's down there.

"Do we have any chance of escaping the city?" She asked you. 

"Dwindles with each passing day. You remember how to shoot a gun?" You asked her, remembering how she briefly took a class on the subject.

"Yeah. Of course." She nodded. 

"Great. Here." You hand her the handgun and a pack of ammo. "Make sure it's fully loaded. I have plenty more ammo in my bag, you just have to ask and I'll hand you more. Seeing as you don't have pockets." 

"Well, excuse me. I wasn't exactly dressing for a zombie apocalypse." She deadpanned. You snorted.

"Nope. Just for your boyfriend. You look good, by the way. Ben will be happy to see you." 

"Don't get my hopes up." She said as the elevator door finally opened up to a room.

You walked out of the elevator and toward the door leading out to the garage. Before you opened it, you turned to Katherine.

"You ready?" You ask, shotgun in hand.

She cocked her gun and nodded. "Ready." 

You both carefully walked out the door, keeping your eyes peeled for any zombies. You hear aggressive barking in the distance. Turned police dogs, you assumed. It sounded like they were still in the cages, so you should be alright.

Once you determined the coast was clear, you grabbed your map to check you were in the right place.

"Alright. This way. Stay close." You told Katherine, shoving the map back into your pocket. She nodded and you made your way through the cars parked haphazardly to the door you needed to get to.

"Please be unlocked." You mumbled as your fingers wrapped around the handle and turned it. You grinned when it opened. "Nice."

Walking into the cell block, you both stay close to avoid the zombies reaching out through the cells and into the hallway in an attempt to grab you. You almost gave up, only seeing a bunch of undead, when you came across a cell in the corner with a man sitting on his bed, smoking his cigarette. 

"Ben!" Katherine beat you to it, running towards the cell and reaching for him.

"Katherine!" He grinned in relief, running up to hold her through the bars. "I thought you were dead." He said.

"I thought you were dead too!" She nearly wanted to sob at the thought. She almost left him thinking that Irons was telling the truth. 

You watched the heartfelt reunion with a smile, happy for your friends. Though it dropped into a face of mock disgust when they started to kiss each other through the bars.

"Ew. Yeah, I'm here too. Still." You said, gaining their attention.

"Hey, Y/n. What the hell took you so long?" Ben joked.

"Oh you know, I just got a little distracted from the hordes of zombies and others running through the city. My bad. Next time I'll try to be more punctual." You sassed back. Katherine snorted at your interaction, always an amusing scene for her.

"You better. Or I'll have to revoke your pay. Unless… you happen to have a key or something to get me out of here?" He asked.

"Ah, I didn't really think that far ahead. Let's see what we have to work with here." You turned away from the couple to study the lock as they continued to enjoy each other's company. Looked like an electric mechanism of some kind. And it's missing three chips.

You sighed and popped the gum in your mouth. Hmm, theoretically, you just need something metallic to act as a conductor for the electricity. To get it from point A to point B. At least, you think that's how it works. You're no scientist.

Wait, aluminum is metallic. Your gum wrappers are metallic. That's it! You grabbed your bag off your shoulders and began to look through it for your gum.

You froze when you heard a gun cock and felt something hard against the middle of your back.

You turned your head slightly to see Katherine and Ben looking your way with wide eyes. You sighed, closing your eyes in frustration. "Is that a gun in your hand, Chief Irons, or are you just happy to see me." You weakly joked.

"Can't it be both? Drop the guns, the bag, and put your hands up." Irons spat, pressing the gun deeper into your back, making you hiss from your bruises being pressed onto.

You wished you could do some badass maneuver to kick the gun away and shoot the bastard. Sadly, you are but a normal, boring, human who didn't want to take any chances getting shot. You should have invested in those self defense classes.

You put the safety on and slowly crouched to put the gun and bag onto the floor. Katherine followed, looking at you with worry. You slowly stood and raised your hands up once more.

"Turn around." Irons demanded you. You hesitated, and he pressed the gun further into your back. "Don't make me say it again."

You slowly turned around, arms still up, and made eye contact with the man. You glared with hatred as he looked you up and down.

"Hmm, you're a pretty little thing. A hot mess though." He said as he glanced at your bloodied and dirt covered clothing. "You just got here? I would have recognized you amongst the other survivors." 

"Yes." You spat. You didn't like the way he was looking at you. The same way Katherine had described last week at the diner. Like he wanted to murder and sleep with you.

"You should have stayed away. Katherine over there, well, she has a prior engagement she will be attending to." You didn't like the way he said that.

"Yeah right. She's not going anywhere with you." Ben spat as you glared at the man, fully ready to fight him, even if he had a gun to you, if so much as glanced at Katherine.

"You're really in no position to make that decision. Now, back up toward the cell, girl." He gestured to the cell Ben was in. 

You didn't move, making him more aggressive. He pointed the gun to Katherine and you gasped, quickly stepping back and in front of her, once more in the line of fire.

"Stop! Okay, stop. I'll do as you say. Just, please don't hurt her." You begged. Begging to him left a bitter taste in your mouth, but there was nothing else you could do.

Irons grinned a nasty grin. Clearly enjoying the power he held over you three. "That's more like it. Back up." He backed you up to the cell where Ben was at. Your back was pressed against the steel bars and you stood right next to Katherine. You blindly reached out for her hands as you watched Irons closely. She grabbed your hand and squeezed so tightly that you felt the bones would shatter at any moment.

She's terrified.

Irons quickly reached forward and grabbed Katherine, wrapping his left arm over her chest and holding a gun at her temple with his right hand. She screamed in fear and you lunged forward to take her back. Ben shouted and banged angrily against the bars. Zombies from the neighboring cells growled and groaned louder from the noises, making the atmosphere feel even more unsettling.

"Ah ah ah. Don't move. I won't hesitate to pull the trigger. You both know this." He said to you and Ben. You paused, before you slowly backed away, a few tears escaped and trailed down your face. Katherine was openly sobbing, eyes pleadingly staring at you for help.

"Please, let her go. Take me if you have to just, please. Don't hurt her." You begged.

You have no control over the situation. And that scared you.

He seemed to consider your offer for a moment, but shook his head. "No, she'll stay with me." He puts the chips into the slots, still holding Katherine at gunpoint, and opens Ben's cell. "Now, why don't you join your friend in that cell? Keep him company until I come back for you two."

You don't move, making him shoot the wall beside you. You jumped and Katherine screamed.

"Just do it, Y/n! Do as he says! For once, don't be a hero! I'll be fine!" Katherine sobbed. You and Ben didn't believe her. Neither did she. She knew this would be the last time she saw you. But she didn't want her best friend or boyfriend to die for her. She didn't want anyone to die for her.

You reluctantly walked into the cell. Ben went to run out and attack Irons, but the cell quickly slammed shut before he could. You leaned against the bars and held onto them with a tight grip, glaring at Irons. If looks could kill, he'd be long gone by now.

"Have fun you two. I'll be back later. Maybe." Iron laughed as he walked away with a sobbing Katherine.

"I love you, Ben! I love you, Y/n! You were the best friend I've ever had. Protect each other!" Katherine yelled. Tears streamed down your face as you watched your best friend be dragged away. You failed her.

"Get back here you son of a bitch!" Ben yelled.

"Katherine! Katherine! Don't you dare give up! You fight! Please fight!" You yelled desperately.

You sighed in defeat as they walked out of sight. You wiped away your tears and looked for a way out. Your bag. You see your bag on the other side of the hall and sit on the ground, reaching as far as you could through the bars to get it. But it was too far away.

You grunt and hit the ground in frustration. You noticed Ben's bag in the corner of the cell and crawled to it.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Ben asked incredulously.

"Looking for something to get us out." You told him as you shuffled through his bag.

"There's nothing. Believe me, I've already looked in the last week I've been here." Ben sighed.

You let out a shout of frustration and threw the bag to the ground. His stuff fell out and he quickly rushed to put it back.

"Hey! Careful. The tape recorder is in there."

"The one from the Annette interview?" 

"Yeah. I have it just in case." He said as he sat on the bed.

"I gave the drive to a S.T.A.R.S member. Jill Valentine. I figured she could get further with it than we could." You said as you sat on the bed beside him.

"Probably for the best. We don't have much use for it stuck in here." Ben sighed as he lit a cigarette, offering a box toward you.

You debated for a moment before shaking your head. You're not a smoker. And if you somehow miraculously survived all this, you'll be damned if lung cancer was the thing that took you out.

"Suit yourself." Ben shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette. "When's the last time you've slept?" 

You snorted. "I don't know. What day is it?" 

"Might as well get some sleep, Y/n. Not like we can get out of here anytime soon. Here, I'll even sit on the floor for you." He said, moving off the bed to sit on the floor.

"How thoughtful." You deadpanned as you laid on the bed. You looked at your watch and sighed. It was broken. When did that happen?

You looked to the ceiling and hoped, to whatever entity out there, that Katherine will be alright. That all three of you will be okay.

This day wasn't any better.

[hansirilow]

alright. so this is weird. 

i logged into this account while i was looking for a bootleg post i had saved years ago. first time i've logged in here in like.... five years? i saw the names of a lot of friends i had on here. i saw some inbox messages too, i dunno how old they are. i saw some old posts and messages and just reminisced/spiraled a little bit. i used this blog religiously from when i was 14 to like 18ish. i went thru a lot on here. i had community on here when i was at my loneliest. i was volatile and so scared and trans and queer and i guess in some ways, nothing has changed. im 25 now, gonna be 26 in a couple weeks. i figured i could make a little post to update y'all. i dunno if anyone will read this. but i've been thinking a lot about my friends i made here lately.

i turn 26 in a little over a month. i'm still jasper, havent transitioned yet, but i might be the gayest i've ever been. my coming out process has been Awful to say the least. but my 9 year anniversary with my partner jer is coming up. i'm spending my 26th birthday with jer in salem, mass, my favorite city in the world. 

i have an associates degree in theatre and a bachelors degree in english with a creative writing concentration. not doing anything in those fields yet but i'm figuring things out. it hasn't been exactly easy. 

i'm figuring my life out i guess! i went thru a very traumatic falling out with a group of friends that abused me during the pandemic. i lost a lot of my college life to a horrible group of people, it's a whole thing i'm not gonna get into right now. in some ways i'm still recovering from that. in some ways i'm better than i've ever been. 

i'm like high key a furry now tbh. i have a fursona named salem who kinda saved my life i guess. he is everything to me. 

no shock here but i still love fall out boy with every part of my heart, maybe even more than i did when i was a kid. i got my first tattoo and it's a fall out boy one. i also got into a lot of other alternative bands! i adore ghost a lot, i'm seeing them in july. i also love sleep token, spiritbox, bad omens, linkin park, and poppy. music has gotten me thru the worst of the shit i've been thru. 

and despite everything, i still love musicals and andy and spring awakening and everything. i actually logged in looking for a wicked bootleg in the wake of the movie coming out. i saw andy as jonathan in tick tick boom in cape cod a couple months ago! front row in this old little local theatre, what a magical night it was. i'm planning on getting andy's handwriting tattooed on me still, and i want some other musical related tattoos eventually (i'll probably be covered in a couple years: gender affirming care). 

also i really love spiderman now but no one's shocked by that either, that's just transmasc rite of passage i think. 

i guess i'm still the same in a lot of ways. that weirdo little gay boy that felt too much and definitely shared too much. i am so sorry for being way too TMI when i was younger. i was way too young and unsupervised and lonely as hell. i'm happy to say i'm a bit older and a little less lonely and a little more reserved in what i share online now lmfao 

that being said, i do art and stuff still! i post my art on instagram (sometimes) at @/witchcityspider and on bluesky @/kingofpentacles if anyone wants to find me there. or if you want my discord or my personal instagram you can let me know. i made another blog at one point that i use here and there: @shadowacademy 

i've thought about reaching out to people i used to talk to here but i didn't wanna freak anyone out, so i'm doing this instead. 

i'll keep this blog up, check it here and there. in some ways i miss it. i miss the community i guess, having a place i belonged. i've gone through a lot and lost a lot of friends over the past couple years. i mean, hell, i went through a lot on here. it was a huge part of my life, somedays my little sect on here was all i had. and i hope that, even my friends that have deactivated or aren't active, i hope you all are well and happier than we were in 2015. almost a decade ago. 

i guess i just wanna hug my little 15 year old self and i wish i could warn him about what has happened to us since, but i can't. but we made it out. despite everything, it's still me. 

anyways. i'm around if you're looking to find me. i'm off trying to be cryptic and mysterious but just coming off as a certified yapper elsewhere. i don't wanna be weird and interrupt people that don't wanna see me again, but i do miss so many people from here. i wonder if they ever remember this or think of me and wonder where i've been. maybe it's selfish or maybe it's just human, i'm not sure. 

but i'm here. figuring my shit out, but i'm here. 

i love all of your lights. you are fabulous creatures, each and every one.

jasper morningstar 

or hanschen rilow 

whichever you prefer 

x 

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - #43 August 1998

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming! Spring is in the air, but can’t it just be summer already? Let’s get a head start by checking out Issue #43 from August, 1998.

First let me say, I love this cover! It really surprises me that they didn’t feature more Nicktoons crossovers for cover art, it’s a fun idea. Dare I say it might be the only Nickelodeon Magazine cover featuring a crossover between different Nick shows? With original art, I mean. (The Jimmy-Timmy Power Hour and its sequels got their own dedicated issue covers but that's different, it doesn't count.)

Before we begin, just letting you know you can read the magazine along with me here.

Well, can you find which flavors are fake and which are real? 

Yep, the ones that sound fake… are fake! 

It’s a bit obvious isn’t it? If Gatorade had played their cards right they could have tripped everyone up and taken this as an opportunity to announce a new “Trout” flavor. Missed opportunity indeed.

I’d say we’ve got the makings of another winner issue here. There’s nothing like the excitement of an impending summer vacation! Although, if you were alive when this magazine was released, chances are summer vacation stopped being a thing for you a while ago. But hey, I say you're never too old to have fun! So grab your sunscreen, beach towels, and feel free to take any notes for when you’re making your summer plans. Let’s dive in!

A three foot long poster? Well I’ll be, I’m surprised there’s any space left in the box to fit the cereal! 

Little history lesson here for those unfamiliar: If you check the bottom right of the page, you’ll find mention of nickelOzone. nickelOzone was a short-lived hour-long programming block that ran on Nickelodeon from 1998 to 2000. Suppose this little cereal stunt was a means of promoting their new block? That might be even easier to figure out than the Gatorade puzzle.

Online sources say that nickelOzone played from Sunday to Friday (sorry, Saturday fans) from 8 PM to 9 PM, and was aimed towards an older, preteen audience. I’m not really sure about that though, since it seemed to just play shows from Nick’s usual lineup anyway, like Hey Arnold! for example.

Maybe checking out the bumper that would play to start off the block will shed some light on things.

… Nope, guess not.

Also no, I'm not going to say anything about the three-legged freak boy in the ad. Stop asking.

Gotta say, they’re already really selling me on the summer vibes. I appreciate using stuff like kayaking and carnivals to represent summer fun as opposed to the usual beach iconography. I don’t appreciate the closeup dog mouth picture as much.

That one question about the interviews Nick Magazine conducts is a bit interesting though, because I’ve also wondered how they get all their short responses, like for these kinds of sections:

Kudos to R.L. Stine for looking exactly like you expect he would.

Did they just send out questions en masse via email or letters, and publish whatever responses they got in time? I wonder if some of the actors’ agents or PR people ever answered on behalf of their client with on-brand responses because the actors themselves were busy. I know they’re just one or two sentences, but I wouldn’t be surprised if big actors have people to take care of little promotional stuff like this, even if they’re about answering personal questions. What do you think?

Alright, here’s a better question: Am I overthinking this?

I would really love to speak to someone who won or went to the same school as someone who won one of these kinds of giveaways. Y’know, one of these types where you win a party for your class or have a popular band come and do a concert in the gymnasium. That kind of thing. I wonder how they go about planning and executing that sort of operation. What if the school just says no? Maybe they just dump the prizes at your house.

I can’t say I expected something quite so pleasant out of a Nickelodeon Magazine, but I like it! I’d also like to give some appreciation to the late Joan Steiner and her series of Look-Alikes books for giving me my next aesthetic to obsess over. Oh, to be a little guy living in a world made of snacks and knick-knacks without a care in the world…

If you find the world of Look-Alikes as lovely as I do and want to see more, you can borrow it from the Internet Archive.

Now even if it is just a s’more turned green, this still is a cute way to personalize a famous summer snack. I mean, just take a look at these satisfied customers! 

(Ask your doctor if you think soggy green marshmallows are the right choice for your summer camping trips.)

Some of you might be familiar with this ad’s TV commercial counterpart, but Nick Mag readers were also obliged to find Banjo-Kazooie’s magic puzzle piece hiding in their grocery store’s usual Keebler goods. I find the choice to portray Banjo & Kazooie as mute, 3D freaks in a 2D world a little odd. Did they think kids wouldn’t understand the game was 3D if Banjo was illustrated, or something?

If you were even thinking about becoming your school’s #1 cool kid, you better do your research in amassing the components necessary to complete the Rugrats style. This is so crucial, Nickelodeon was even kind enough to give 500 kids the chance to snag chic baby merchandise to secure their high-end societal status. Oh yeah, the $10,000 grand prize is neat too, I guess. 

Excuse the weird aspect ratio, I had to edit the page slightly to make everything look neat for the picture.

In addition to gag product labels, Nick Magazine also used to be in the business of gag postcards. Ain’t that just the bee’s knees? I don’t recall Nick printing many of these back when I started reading in the 2000’s (I mean c’mon, postcards? Instant message me when they start printing gag emails, grandpa), which is unfortunate. I might’ve gotten more use out of these than a fake label for dental floss. There were very few times as a child where my friends were in close vicinity to dental floss, but they definitely all had mailboxes!

Jeez, what is this, the giveaway issue? Sorry Arnold, but I already just spent hours convincing my Mom to search for Banjo-Kazooie's magic puzzle piece and apply for a lifetime's supply of Rugrats pencils. Just be happy I bought your 3-foot long poster and move along!

Ah, is there any other activity more tried-and-true than the ever-popular maze? Between activity books and restaurant kids’ menus I think they may be more common than the word search at this point.

Interestingly, when also considering the Look-Alikes pages, I’m surprised by how straightforward this magazine is when it comes to crediting the artists of these activities (and with big, bold, differently-colored text, no less). Back when I was checking out issue #115 I had to head to the back of the book just to find some proper attributions! I wonder what changed between 1998 and 2005?

Speaking of which, Rodica Prato is still active in the industry to this day! You can find a lot of her works on her Instagram. She does tons of large, natural landscapes in a style very similar to this page here, give her a look!

Another Comic Book, coming up! I’ve actually got a lot to say about this one cause-

Oh, uh, I’m sorry! It seems I accidentally skipped an interview. Usually they don't make 'em as small as this… Hm, this is awkward…

Seriously, what's with the shortchange? Did they want to get Chevy Chase and when that fell through interviewing Beverly D'Angelo was Plan B? Sorry you weren't deemed full page material, Mrs. Griswold.

Alright, sorry, where were we? Right, let’s take a look at the Comic Book for this issue.

Starting us off, I actually got a lot of laughs out of the “Prankvertisement” on the left page, maybe the most I’ve laughed at any Nick Mag content since starting this blog! Convincing someone they mathematically don’t exist and having them immediately fade away, unable to even find a hole in the formula is so funny in such a ridiculous way to me. 

Also, I tried the activity on the right page. It’s kind of a fun idea, but it made me dizzy. I recommend it to anyone reading who might be deserving of such a fate.

Finally, another history lesson opportunity! The Southern Fried Fugitives was one of Nick Magazine’s first ongoing comics, and was pretty synonymous with the mag’s brand during their publication. It had been canceled sometime before the 2000’s, and while it's personally not the most appealing to me, I can see how its art and wacky premise factored into its longevity.

Eagle-eyed readers might have already spotted these strips underneath some of the pages. Like the similarly formatted Impy & Wormer, these are short gags slotted in the bottom of each page of the Comic Book in what’s probably the most effective use of empty space since that ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal. There’s more than what’s in my picture, but they all also follow the “[Thing] who is always stuck 10 seconds in the future” setup, so take a look if you’re really dying for more of those. 

These strips come from famous American illustrator Tony Millionaire, who’s probably most well-known for his Sock Monkey series of children’s books and the comic strip Maakies. He’s worked with DC & Marvel, done art for a They Might Be Giants album, and has produced a veritable mountain of independent work. On the Nickelodeon side of things, he recently did work on Boom! Studios’ Rocko’s Modern Life series of comic books. You can find him and his stunning work on Instagram.

So, after passing another edition of Scene but Not Heard and a short n’ sweet CatDog comic I haven’t got much to say on, we come across… Hey, I remember these guys! Funky & Miriam’s House of Random Words was a sort of comic/activity hybrid where readers were challenged to guess the right definition of the word the characters were using. These are fun! And they make a vocabulary virtuoso such as myself feel smart, in spite of the fact I’m reading a magazine for children.

Odd thing to end off the Comic Book with, don’t you think? Unless it ended earlier? I can never tell since they don’t actually say when the Comic Book is over, exactly. Anyway, I know how this sounds, but I would really appreciate some citations here! How can we be so sure that “monster obstacles” in minigolf only really started in the 1950s? 

Hm?

Really making kids put the work in here, huh? I feel like this might be one too many mazes above the average reader’s paygrade. Good thing kids can just turn the page or you would've severely handicapped your marketing.

Pages edited to show both the back and front.

This is a pretty fun idea for a prank, and I know as a kid I would’ve appreciated some way to liven up the road trip experience. A gag newspaper would’ve done the trick! Well, it sounds good on paper, but maybe not magazine paper. Yeah I feel like the crinkly texture of plastic-y paper might give away this one-page periodical as a phony before the prankee gets the chance to read it. Unfortunate, but what can you do? Statistically this prank must’ve worked at least one time.

Alright, I can usually handle Nickelodeon’s slime-based image and all the drippings that have come with it, but this actually makes me want to gag. The idea of cracking through the cold, hard exterior of a popsicle and unearthing a filling of thick, syrupy slop underneath is not really my idea of a good time. A quick look-up shows that these things do indeed have their fans, so maybe I’m missing grout- er, uh, missing out.

We’ve got our calendar for the issue here, and while I’m still not impressed by the calendar’s comedy, I do appreciate the wide variety of fun facts and celebrity birthdays. This is just another way for kids to gain little random pieces of knowledge, and I’m all for it! Kids love finding out random facts, it's like the fun version of learning.

This is a pretty good tutorial, and it actually teaches some important drawing tips, like breaking down figures into shapes and making outlines and temporary lines for guidance. Yeah it’s basic, but for a young audience, I give it a thumbs-up. Just like Arnold.

Oh, wow. This is genuinely some history in the making! It’s interesting to see the likes of The Fairly Oddparents and ChalkZone being mentioned before they and their creators became such hot topics. For those unfamiliar or forgetful, Oh Yeah! Cartoons was a Nickelodeon show that premiered in 1998. It was an anthology of sorts, with each episode featuring a couple of short cartoons created by various filmmakers in the industry. It ran for three years, spanning a total of 34 episodes, and like those other two shows I mentioned, it was where My Life as a Teenage Robot got its start. Cartoon Network had tried a similar format a couple years before Oh Yeah! Cartoons, with its own anthology show What a Cartoon!. That show gave us Dexter’s Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls, Johnny Bravo, among others. Both shows were fantastic means of creating tons of new, varied content and spawning shows that are still beloved to this day. 

So yeah, needless to say, can we get another one of these kinds of shows, please? There’s only so many more reboots you can make, right? Right?

Time to wrap things up, and we’ve got the usual last-minute ads and gags, but I do want to talk about Hey, Herb!. This was a section where readers could write in to then-Nickelodeon president Herb Scannell and ask their burning questions. As you can probably tell though, the audience of elementary school kids reading Nickelodeon Magazine usually weren’t very sure on what to ask. So these sections tend to be pretty small. As Nickelodeon’s fourth president, Scannell oversaw the release of some of Nick’s most popular shows, including Spongebob Squarepants, Danny Phantom, and Avatar: The Last Airbender during his ten-year long stint. I’d love to ask him what that was like, but seeing as how this was before all that, I guess these are pretty good questions too. (He does kind of look like Jimmy Smits).

And with that, we put a lid on another rip-roaring edition of Nickelodeon Magazine. As per usual, I didn’t get to everything in the issue, just the stuff I had things to say about. Honorable mentions for this issue include some gag flyers for fake tourists traps (to go along with the gag truckstop newspaper), and the previously mentioned CatDog and Scene but Not Heard comics. KABLAM! fans might also be interested in checking out page #58 which includes an interview with Stephen Holman, the creator of the show’s recurring Life with Loopy segment.

In other news, Nickelodeon just celebrated its 44th anniversary two days ago! So, why didn’t I post this NMH then instead of today? Well… it was April Fool’s Day too, wasn’t it? Uh, April Fool’s?

That’s all the fun in the sun we've got for now. Enjoy spring while you've still got it, 'cause summer will be here before you know it! Have fun, and until next time, keep on reading!

[linawritesocs]

roland's birthday ssr vignette!

it's the gardener dad's birthday!! :D i almost forgot about his vignette actually

also.. tbh i think i'm gonna go back to actually drawing their birthday ssrs. because finding a picrew that fits all of my characters is way too hard, some most of them don't have things like different skin colors, freckles, moles, etc or simply don't have their energy (for example, maybe i want my oc to look more mature, but that picrew has a more cutesy art style). so yeah, more lina art!!

and yes ignore roland's eyepatch covering the wrong eye and his outfit looking like the nrc one.

[ part 1 ]

[ wisbene dorm lounge - birthday venue ]

seth: heyyy, roland-chan! happy birthday!

roland: oh, seth-kun, you're here too?

roland: i didn't expect a nrc student to show up for my birthday, haha.

seth: come on, you know me, i love hanging out with rsa students, y'all are my friends too!

seth: also, i'm one of the few nrc students who is loved by the rsa guys, so it's okay for me to be here!

seth: but wow, does this mean that you were worried about me? that's so cute~

roland: you're right, rsa students actually like you a lot.

seth: ohh, i love what you did with your hair!

roland: thank you. neige-kun was the one to help me with it, actually.

seth: oh, oh, are you two friends or something?

roland: u-um, i wouldn't say that we're friends.. but neige-kun is one of those rsa students who are very nice to me..

roland: and as you already know, i'm not that popular, haha..

roland: i have no idea why he's so nice to me though. maybe it's because we're from the same dorm.

seth: or maybe it's because neige-chan is just that type of guy. he's nice to literally everyone, i can imagine him wanting to become friends even with a mass murderer or an arsonist.

seth: that's why i like him so much, he's so sweet, he always forgives me for everything~

roland: .. did you just imply that you've actually done something bad?

seth: anyway, i think we should get started with your interview already.

roland: oh, you're right, sorry.

roland: i just noticed the microphone you have with you.

seth: you did? i'm so glad, isn't it, like, super pretty? i did such a good job!

roland: of course, you were the one who made it look like this. you really are creative, seth-kun.

seth: thank you, thank you~

seth: so, the first question.. oh, i don't like this one.

roland: really? why?

seth: i ask this question almost every single time, i'm getting tired of it.

roland: hm.. then maybe you should ask me something else?

roland: i'm okay with anything, you know, as long as you're having fun.

seth: you're so nice, roland-chan..

seth: okay! now, roland-chan, can you tell me a fun story from your childhood?

roland: .. o-oh.

seth: please don't tell me you have a tragic backstory too.

roland: n-no, it's just..

roland: well, i wasn't exactly a "good kid".

seth: oh, so you were in your "problematic era"?

roland: no, i was in my problematic era when i just started attending nrc.

seth: wait, you're right.

seth: it's okay if you don't want to talk about it though-

roland: no, no, it's fine. if i keep avoiding the topics that make me uncomfortable, i won't be able to answer any of your questions. *laughs*

roland: so.. i don't really have a "fun story", but i will tell you this. i loved to cause trouble back then. i was that kid who loved to prank everyone, even the old people.

seth: i see, i see..

roland: even the nice old people.

seth: oh no.

roland: my parents didn't really try to stop me, they actually kind of.. encouraged it.

roland: oh, i don't mean it in a "you go son, go and prank that poor old woman!" way, i mean it.. it's like they just pretended not to see it. they spoiled me a lot too, so i never got punished for my actions.

roland: maybe if they were more strict with me, i would become a better person..

seth: hey, don't think about it like that, okay? it just means that they loved you a lot.

roland: haha, maybe you're right.

roland: .. or maybe it just means that they were too scared to stop me.

[ part 2 ]

seth: okay, let's talk about something else then. what about your hobbies? you're into gardening, right?

seth: i mean, you obviously like it, you're the gardening club president, after all..

roland: well, actually, i'm not that good at it.

roland: most of my plants end up dying very quickly and i have no idea why.

roland: avery-kun just says that i'm too dumb to take care of them properly, haha. maybe he's right.

seth: okay, avery-chan is one of the cutest boys i've ever met, but i want to slap him for this.

seth: but hey, at least you find gardening fun, right?

roland: .. not really.

roland: no, don't get me wrong, i don't regret creating my club, but.. i've actually never been a fan of gardening.

seth: um, but why did you go for a club like that, then?

roland: i-i'd prefer not to say it.

seth: okay, fine, let's not talk about that.

seth: but why do you dislike gardening though? i always wanted to try it-

roland: because of the dirt. i hate getting my hands dirty.

seth: .. um, just wear gloves or something?

roland: but then my gloves will get dirty!

seth: but your hands will be fine??

roland: you don't get it, seth-kun, it's just.. so gross..

seth: what, are you scared of germs or something like that?

roland: i don't think so? maybe? i'm not really worried about getting sick, it's more about.. uh.. the texture?

seth: fine, fine, whatever.

seth: wow, you're much harder to interview than i expected.

roland: .. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry about that.

roland: i'll try to come up with something more interesting-

seth: hey, it's my job as an interviewer to come up with interesting questions!

seth: let's see.. how do you feel about birthdays in general? like, do you enjoy celebrating them? or do you hate them?

roland: well, i'm mostly okay with them. i'm not really a huge fan of birthdays, but it's not like i hate them.

roland: i prefer to celebrate other people's birthdays than mine, though. but it wasn't always like that, i was a very selfish kid in the past, haha.

roland: now i just.. don't really like being the center of attention, i guess.

seth: aww, are you shy?

roland: maybe. but it's more like.. i feel like i just don't deserve it.

seth: huh? what do you mean by that?

roland: next question, please.

seth: oh, um.. okay.

[ part 3 ]

seth: so, did anyone else wish you a happy birthday today?

seth: wait, is that a bad question too? i forgot about your reputation for a second-

roland: haha, don't worry, you're fine.

roland: as i mentioned before, neige-kun helped me out with my hairstyle and he also wished me a happy birthday and got me a gift too.

seth: oh, oh, what is it?

roland: he got me this really cute sweater, he knitted it himself.

roland: and he actually did a very good job with it.

seth: that's so cool! ugh, i'm jealous now. i wish i got a cute gift like that from neige-chan too..

roland: hey, it's okay. i'm sure he will get you something nice for your birthday too.

seth: but i don't wanna wait! why can't he get me a gift just for.. you know..

seth: i think i deserve a gift for being so cute!

roland: haha, you sure do.

roland: as for other students.. most of them didn't even look at me today.

roland: oh, but emile-kun wished me a happy birthday too!

roland: and i got a letter from lilia-kun earlier today, he got me a new eyepatch too, hehe~ it's heart-shaped, i think you will like it.

seth: and what about avery-chan?

roland: he texted me and said that he wants to meet up with me later, so i'm very excited to see him.

seth: i see! it's nice to hear that he still cares about you.

roland: by the way, is he doing alright? i'm so worried about him..

seth: he's fine~ with a prefect like me, nrc students don't have to worry about anything!

roland: but what about all those overblots-

seth: hey, is there a particular person that you'd like to receive a gift from?

seth: you know, like a crush or a friend who didn't get you anything yet?

roland: .. well, there is one. but i'm sure she didn't even remember about my birthday.

roland: it's fine though. i know she doesn't care about me that much, she only cares about that stupid dragon guy and i'm not talking about malleus-

seth: it's medi-chan, isn't it.

roland: .. yes.

seth: come on, man, you have to get over her! i agree, she's very pretty, but i'm sure you'll find someone even better than her one day!

roland: you know it's not just about her looks, right?

seth: i do, but i just have nothing else to say about her, we're not that close.

roland: y-you're quite an honest guy, aren't you..

seth: oh, actually, what's your type, roland-chan?

seth: maybe i can help you and match you up with someone!

roland: ...

roland: i'd rather not talk about it-

seth: don't be shy, i'm sure you have a type! oh, and i won't tell anyone about it, if you don't want to!

roland: well, uh..

roland: i just really want a kind and understanding girlfriend who won't judge me for my past.

roland: i know i'm probably asking too much and i don't deserve someone like that as my partner.

seth: *sobs*

roland: s-seth-kun, are you crying?

seth: it's just.. *keeps sobbing* you totally deserve someone like that, roland-chan! you totally do!

seth: and we're gonna find you someone like that! trust me, you're in good hands!

roland: you really don't have to help me with that..

seth: but i will help you simply because i want to! and you better be grateful!

seth: .. wait, you mentioned that you'd want a girlfriend like that, right.

roland: yes, is there something wrong?

seth: oh, nothing.

seth: *thinking* "i was about to say that neige-chan sounds a lot like his type.. oh well, i guess i still have a chance with neige-chan then~"

seth: okay, roland-chan, i think it's time for me to go. thank you so much for answering my questions!

roland: but.. i didn't really tell you anything interesting about myself.

roland: i just kept saying stuff like "oh, i'm uncomfortable with this topic" or "i don't want to talk about it".

seth: so what? it's not just about me having fun, i want you to enjoy this too.

seth: and if i found you boring, i would tell you that a long time ago, trust me.

seth: also, we can just say that being mysterious is a part of your charm.

roland: c-charm?..

seth: okay, that's it, bye-bye~ and once again, happy birthday, roland-chan!

[theblackbodyofmyworks]

Penny Dreadfuls, the porn of literature

Now, with a heading that extreme, I have to explain myself, so let's start with why I call it that. I'm pretty sure everyone knows what porn is, but to boil it down to specifics, it's a form of photography usually don't have much creativity or variety, and they wouldn't necessarily be considered a form of high art by a majority of people, but despite all of it's flaws, it drags people in by manipulating their primal instincts. It is debatable about the moral and creative implications of such work, but regardless of the final results of such discussion, there will always be a constant demand for it. I think it's very much the same stuff with Penny Dreadfuls, and you don't need to look further than their cover art.

Here's an example, for starters, there's very little to no colour in the covers. This is so that the manufactures of the book can mass produce these for a minimal price, which kind of makes sense given that these books are only sold for a single penny, hence the name Penny Dreadful. Second, the title of the book is ridiculously long and lacking in minimalism, they make you question why they dragged it out to the lengths that they do with the fact that the first few words already make for a good title, well I have the answer, it's because they want to use elaborate details to grab someone's attention. They want to make sure that their book means business and has all kinds of action. Speaking of action, third is the artwork, like what exactly is going on here? There's just so much stuff with so much detail that it just makes the viewers understand that it's gonna be thrilling. And finally, it seems like every cover of a Penny Dreadful has to let you know that it only costs a penny, which I mean sounds like a dream come true, so in a lot of cases, none of what I mentioned before would really matter, but they REALLY want you to get invested.

This one as all of the things I mentioned before, drab black and yellow, long overly-elaborate title, WTH is going on artwork and the mention that it's only a penny, and do you notice how similar these two look? It's like they are all copying from each other.

You know, after all that I researched about these things, they really deserve a name as slanderous as "Penny Dreadful", they really are just cheap waste that rots the brain.

[mamahersh]

Saw this post, and as a lover of Wolfy's art but as someone who acknowledges her reach on social media, I thought it prudent to try to carefully make some comments on this post, as amusing as it might be (which admittedly imagining anyone going in a fist-fight against "the angelic doctor" who isn't known for his physical prowess in dirty street brawls is quite the thought), just for the sake of others who might go scrolling through the replies/reblogs. I have invited myself to your post of course, so I fully realize this opens me up to your own rebuttals and I do welcome them, with the caveat that I am by no means intelligent enough in the realm of philosophy to make a convincing argument for most things, and I will try to source counter points if the opportunity arises.

Which segues into my caveats: I am by no means an expert or even that well read. I'm still working through the Socratic dialogues and haven't even touched Aristotle much less anyone who isn't Greek. I have read quite a bit of theology though, but even then I will be the first to admit that Thomas Aquinas is mostly quite beyond me. But I know enough to at least have some clarifications to pose. I will also more than likely be using others' arguments, as (unsurprisingly) Wolfy's gripes with the 5 proofs for God's existence.

Right, enough front-ending, let's actually talk about the issue at hand: the claim that on their own the 5 proofs cannot prove the existence of specifically the Christian God. The short answer is not necessarily but they do indicate a singular god with specific attributes. But let us look at the implications of each proof individually to see what exactly are they trying to argue the existence of.

Proof 1: "the argument from "first mover"; Because an object that stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion unless an external force is acted on it, then there must have been a first move to move an object and set into motion. And that first mover must be able to defy physics themself(sic)."

In the most simplistic way possible, yes this on the right track. However, this argument is even broader than this: it doesn't just cover motion, but all other kinds of energy transfer as well! It is focused on the philosophical understanding of energy and let's say the logical starting point of energy transfer.

For example in modern science we would say the Big Bang was the moment in time when energy transfer first began: in the most simplistic terms imaginable, the universe was all potential energy at a single point, and then "BOOM", all that mass and energy was transferred outwards, thus beginning the chain of energy movement. However, the first proof is trying to prove who/what logically caused what I will call the Big Bang. (Obviously St. Thomas Aquinas was not addressing the Big Bang, but the philosophical origin point of potentiality to actuality which unless y'all want that explained, it'll go in a different post if you do and I'll link.) Well more like it's trying to prove that something/someone would need to cause the big bang in the first place. Think about it for a moment, if all matter/energy were held in stasis at a singular point for an endless moment before the big bang, something/someone would need to interact with it in some way to get it going. In the case of Aquinas, he says that "and this everyone understands to be God".

But to get back then to whether this implies the Christian God, it at the very least implies a singular god, or singular initializer of all that Is. If there were many gods, by necessity only one could claim to be the "First Mover" (in Aquinas' words) of reality, including the other deities. And if other "deities" were moved by the First Mover, then by definition they are brought into motion by something other than themselves and cannot be on the same level as that which moved them but was not itself moved. That narrows the playing field down to all monotheistic religions, which today encompasses Judaism, Christianity, and Islam (and according to wikipedia several sects of Indian religions and derivatives of Taoism, but skimming the linked pages shows me I'm gonna leave them at that).

Moving on to proof 2: "the argument from universal causation; similar to the first one, this follows the argument that everything within the universe has a cause and effect. And nothing can come without cause. So there had to be the first cause, a god."

Wolfy did a good job of summarizing this one and basically everything I went over from proof 1 applies here. However, the wording Aquinas uses here is different at the end which on a personal note is interesting to me. It could be a translator thing as I don't have the original Latin to compare with atm, but in the first proof he ends with "... and this everyone understand to be God", while in the second proof he ends with, "...to which everyone gives the name of God." I dunno, for as dry as the Summa is, it's got it's little moments of artistry. But yeah, the initial cause has to be 1 thing, thus monotheism ect.

Proof 3: "the argument from contingency; this one is a bit harder to explain, but it follows the concept of nothing and existing. Because objects in the world come exist and cease to be, then, well, objects can exist and cease to exist at any given time. But nothing can come from nothing. This means something must exist at all times. This is God."

Wolfy did a good job of very succinctly putting this. However, the implications of this are staggering. The big thing here is this second to last sentence in the 3rd proof: "Therefore we cannot but postulate the existence of some being having of itself its own necessity, and not receiving it from another, but rather causing in others their necessity." Another way of putting this, would be: Therefore, we cannot help but think that there is a being that is Being (Existence) itself, and from which all things that are derive their existence.

It's a fairly straightforward proof with huge ramifications tbh. This proof is claiming that God is that which under-girds reality and continually keeps it in existence. We can see an echo of this in Jewish and Christian thought, with the first Name God gives to Moses in the burning bush: "I AM WHO I AM", or in Hebrew "אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה‎" which can be translated quite a few different ways, but important for here as "I AM WHO (I) AM". The second identifier is optional, and would obviously come out as "I am who am", which would imply God is. Enjoy those implications because I they blew my mind for a solid week after someone pointed it out to me.

Proof 4: "the argument from degree; There is an hierarchy to perfection. To goodness. Henological argument. The superlative of all superlatives, the king of kings, lord of lords. Because we have concepts of gradation (lesser good, lesser evil, better, truer, best, least) then there must exist the truest form of good."

So proof 4 builds off of proof 3 in a way, and is contingent in some regards to the reader having understood Aristotle's arguments for the relationship between being and the 3 philosophical virtues of Truth, Beauty, and Goodness. tbh, a good summation of the argument is within the argument itself in the 3rd sentence: "But "more" and "less" are predicated of different things, according as they resemble in their different ways something which is the maximum, as a thing is said to be hotter according as it more nearly resembles that which is hottest..." So the crux of the argument is that assuming there is such a thing as "good", "beauty/nobility", and "truth", these things can come in different amounts. So a statement can either be closer to the truth or farther from the truth. For example, "the sky is blue" is a mostly true statement. If it is day time and the sky is visible then yes it is blue. "The sky desires to eat my cat" is a less true statement, indeed it is entirely false. Thus there is a thing called truth that we can quantify, and the closer to that-which-is it is, the more truthful it is. The "that-which-is" that we are comparing the truth to is the same "that-which-is" from proof 3, ie God; ie Being itself. Fun fact, a conclusion one can come to from these things alone is that to Exist is Good, True, and Beautiful. Thus why Christians and Jews can point to Genesis and agree: "God made everything, and it was good". God giving existence existence was an inherently good act. But I'm rambling, so moving on.

FInally, Proof 5: "the argument from final cause or ends; The way the world is made and its design is evident of an intelligent creator, because of the intentionality in which it is crafted."

So yes, this is what is implied in proof 5. But specifically, it's a bit more broad, as it addresses more directly how even those things in nature that have no intelligence and cannot act rationally still have a rationality about them. Now, St. Thomas Aquinas would not have known about nor had access to the kinds of math we have cultivated in the last 100 years or so, but if anything physics has broadly vindicated St. Thomas Aquinas' 5th proof even more so than it already was. Everything that exists, that we have discovered, we have a mathematical explanation or pattern for. From the most minute elemental particle to the very structure of the universe itself, we have been able to delve ever deeper the mysteries of our reality because it is intelligible. Things in this world do not happen "just because", and even if it seems like it might it's either because we don't have the prerequisite knowledge to understand it yet or we don't have enough data yet to find the pattern. Even things that can't be explained by math aren't exclusively freak happenstances. A cow born with two heads isn't an omen of the apocalypse, sure; but it also isn't a completely unknowable mystery why it happened. Odds are there was a genetic mutation or two embryos fused in the womb. There is an intelligible reason why that cow has two heads though. It didn't just randomly appear out of thin air because the universe decided to roll a die and it came up 2 heads.

Anyways I got off topic. Going back to the important bit: what "deity" does this imply? At the very least, on its own it implies that something exists which has the ability to create and is itself intelligent beyond understanding. This could be a monotheistic deity, this could be a collection of deities working as a hivemind (I suppose but this seems logically dubious), this could be (as Wolfy herself jokes later in the post) a hyper advanced alien civilization that made a simulation we're all living in. But it does imply the existence of something beyond us with a design in mind and the ability to bring things into being.

So now that we've looked at the proofs individually, let's look at them collectively and summarize the type of thing that St. Thomas Aquinas is getting at with just the 5 proofs.

It is a "first mover/unmoved mover", one who was and is and always will be by virtue of its "actuality", and can only be One.

It is the "cause without an effect", ie "The first cause". It is that in which all things began.

It IS. It is that by which all things that exist continue to be. The "I AM WHO AM".

It is the Best, the Truest, the Most Noble/Most Beautiful. It IS and all that implies.

It is the Intelligence behind all that is. Thus, it is safe to say that it is all knowing and has the ability to bring into existence that which did not previously exist and form it how it pleases.

So, based on these 5 proofs, what religions have a God that matches up? Due particularly to proof number 3, I think we can safely narrow our view down to Judaism and Christianity. (I know next to nothing about Islamic theology, but a quick google search gave me a blog post that gave only the most tenuous examples in the Quran that would imply a similarity on that front, and so I come out knowing probably even less than I did before. Since I don't want to assume, I'm not including them in this, but if any Muslims read this and want to chime in, please feel free, I'm always interested to learn more.)

To wrap things up then, if we've narrowed down our options to the Jewish or Christian God based just on these 5 proofs; I'd say your professor, while potentially glossing things over if this is what you got from his class, was not really that far off base to say that Aquinas was indeed implying the existence of the Christian God (with the caveat that the Jewish God and Christian God are basically the same in concept till you start needing to address the Trinity, which is not what the 5 proofs are trying to do, they are only trying to prove the existence of any god whatsoever).

All quotes from the Summa are from the New Advent website. If you want to learn more from someone who actually understands Thomas Aquinas, this YT video has some great visuals in regards to the argument of the existence of God.

I have beef with Saint Thomas Aquinas' 5 proofs for the existence of God (The Quinque viæ) we are throwing down in a parking lot

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 13 (SPOILERS)

"My life goal is realized" What, working minimum-wage in a fast food chain? You think Lityerses might not recognize them if they just pretend they work there?

"Unless, of course, they were searching for intruders, specifically us..." You didn't get that already? Always assume there are people looking for you if your previous dream told you there are people looking for you.

"manipulating pins in a lock wouldn't be too different than weaving threads in a loom." Can anyone who has done both confirm? This sounds like iffy logic. "The two things sounded very different to me" What did I say? Exactly. "but I couldn't argue with the results." Also true.

"You'll know when I get my magic back, because you'll find yourself being tossed across Indianapolis." Can she do that? With her wind spirits? Also, I wondered earlier whether her invisible air servants got left behind on Ogygia, but the way they've talked about them since then suggests that they are not her servants, but actually regular air spirits she can command, maybe like Mellie. This is relieving. Maybe those nymphs can leave the island now if they want to. Or maybe as nymphs they're more comfortable with staying in one place like dryads, idk.

"Carnivorous horse mix?" Oh no no no, not the man-eating poop horses from the Triple G Ranch. "Combat ostrich cubes?" Ayo cover art "Surely they're not grinding animals into food?" Is she vegetarian? Or maybe it's just the grinding-into-processed-meat part that disturbs her?

"I was overwhelmed by a vision" Oh no not now not again this is a Bad Time-- Well, at least they're deadbolted in.

"nothing about the tent suggested the harsh life of the Roman legion." Did Roman emperors lead the charge into battle or did they stay out of the fighting? I'm willing to bet that for Rome it depended on the emperor, but which was most common?

"a solid gold cornucopia." What fucking river god did they harass for this one?

"And you are perfect, I thought" Physically, maybe, but I'm pretty sure he likes to torture innocent souls as a pastime. I only simp for him in jest, but Apollo seems serious about it. With this awful of a precedent for his flings, one of his kids at camp must be the child of, like, a serial mass murderer or something. (Is that why Will is a year-rounder? We don't know what Naomi Solace does in her spare time...)

"Ask for a furlough?" FURLOUGH (n.): suspension or discharge of a worker or workers on account of economic conditions or shortage of work, especially when temporary

"He is so virtuous" Really? The guy waging war on every vaguely threatening piece of land around them for the entirety of his reign is virtuous?

"Who names their child Bruttia?" Poor girl. "Ostriches" Oh, the cover art. Here come the ostriches! <3 <3 <3

"But what did I care? I was a god." Oh just you wait, Apollo. The roles are going to be reversed.

"Look at the prices." It's a fast food place. How bad could it be? "$15,000 per serving." UM. ?????????? "isn't that a bit pricey for a meal?" YUHUH. "I was adventuring with someone as clueless as I was." Wait, you mean to tell me that he was understating it when he said "a bit pricey"? He genuinely doesn't know how expensive this is? Whatever, they already broke into the zoo and broke into the café. They shouldn't have a problem with stealing at this point.

"Percy Jackson could drive a car." Ah yes, Perseus Jackson's primary and most useful demigod skill: driving.

"a golden metallic coating." Ah, that explains it. The griffins have the appetite of Arion.

"'Let me use my super vision to look through this wall and check,' she said. 'Oh, wait.'" She sounds exactly like Leo when she says that.

[guqin-and-flute]

Episode 73: Koala Chlamydia Is A Problem [My Brothers, My Sister and Me Excerpt]

[MBMSAM AU] [First Installment] [Podfics!] [Ao3 Link]

[COVER ART BY THE FANTASTIC LITTLESMARTART]

Jin Zixuan: Do we want another question?

Qin Su: Sure, yeah, got one right here. 'When I was younger, I was really skinny and weak'--hey! Hey, now, negative body talk, much! That's super judgmental of yourself!

Mo Xuanyu: And of us people who are skinny and weak right now! [teasing] Right, Yao-gege?

Meng Yao: [calmly] I'm not affiliated with you.

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [cackles]

Qin Su: 'When I was a kid, I was really skinny and weak, so I made it my mission to get as jacked as possible so people would take me seriously. I put in a lot of hard work, changed my exercise routine and diet and it worked. But now, as an adult I'm a 6 foot 7 dude--'

Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] 6 foot 7 ?

Qin Su: Just a mountain of a man. '--6 foot 7 dude with serious muscle mass--'

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [sotto voce] Good God .

Qin Su: '-- and a pretty intense resting face. I routinely make children cry just by existing and everyone shoots me nervous looks in the grocery store. It gets to me sometimes. I’m not a bad guy! I just look scary. What are some ways that I can make myself less intimidating?’

Mo Xuanyu: Huh.

Qin Su: I mean, let’s see...puppies are unintimidating. Can you devise a system where you carry a few around with you at all times? Maybe in some saddle bags, everywhere you go?

Mo Xuanyu: The movies, the gym, on dates… .

Jin Zixuan: Sure, until they start pissing down your legs. Then you’re not just unintimidating, you’re the guy no one wants to stand next to at the bus stop.

Meng Yao: I mean, it still does the job, doesn’t it?

Mo Xuanyu: You could get a butterfly tattoo, like, directly on your forehead.

Meng Yao: Okay, please explain to me your thought process on how exactly that would make anyone more approachable.

Qin Su: They still want to be able to navigate human society, A-Yu.

Mo Xuanyu: Ew, why? 

Jin Zixuan: Let’s see...what makes someone approachable….Who is the least intimidating of all of us?

Qin Su: [immediately] You.

Meng Yao: [affirming] Mm.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] What?

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Oh yeah, you’re like...you’re like a poodle. Or a--

Jin Zixuan: [highly offended] Excuse me! I'm the oldest and definitely the tallest one here!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [ill concealed snort]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [pityingly] Oh, da- ge .

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Or a golden retriever.

Qin Su: Please don't tell me you think that being tall translates into you actually being scary. You’re tallest by, like, 3 inches. At most, that’s just part of the equation of being scary.

Meng Yao: And the rest of Zixuan’s equation is just filled with collared polo shirts. Which absolutely tanks the intimidation ratio.

Mo Xuanyu: That doesn't tank yours, though.

Meng Yao: I wear button downs. It’s not the same. [Vaguely disgusted undertone] Collared polos.

Jin Zixuan: Excuse you, polos are weekend wear and there is nothing wrong-- I can be intimidating!

Qin Su: [doubtfully] Ehhhhh…

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [badly stifled snickers]

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: I can! Just because I’ve never had to intimidate you --

Qin Su: Let's just say; citation needed

Mo Xuanyu: Please, jiejie has you beat.

Jin Zixuan: [indignant] Wha--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: He's right, gege; an unopened jar of mayonnaise has you beat. And I'm no unopened jar of mayonnaise. 

Mo Xuanyu: That shit is opened .

Meng Yao: That’s a Tinder profile quote.

Qin Su: What? 'Spicier than mayo?'

Mo Xuanyu: [half singing, half chanting] ‘My mayo brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like-- [normal voice] this is really underwhelming.’

Meng Yao: [musing] ‘Saltier than soy sauce, spicier than mayo….’

Qin Su: Why do we always come back to food? Are our Skype calls haunted by starving Victorian ghost children? Are we possessed?

Mo Xuanyu: [mournful, high pitched, bad British accent] ‘My name is Bartholemew and I’m starving. Please, spare some mayo.’

Meng Yao: It’s your own fault if none of you bother to eat before we record. You all had the schedule.

Mo Xuanyu: [crunches loudly near mic]

Meng Yao: [falsely happy] Hey, thanks! Thank you so much, A-Yu, love the level spike on that one. Editing mouth noises out of our podcast makes my day brighter.

Jin Zixuan: [under his breath] Just...unbelievable….You all….

Qin Su: [smiling] I think we broke him.

Meng Yao: [laughing] Zixuan is limping behind the conversation indignantly, brandishing his cane….

Mo Xuanyu: [sympathetically] Awww.

Jin Zixuan: I--! I am a high powered businessman! I am trained in martial arts and archery and swordsmanship --

Mo Xuanyu: [mouth full] Oh please, gege, you’re a pod caster.

Jin Zixuan: [forcefully] I am a CEO--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [ignoring him] I think Yao-gege is somehow the most and least intimidating out of all of us at the same time, if we're all being completely honest with ourselves and our place in the world.

Mo Xuanyu: Aww, I thought I was at least a contender!

Qin Su: Honey, you're feral. There's a difference.

Mo Xuanyu: What does a kid have to do around here to be intimidating?

Meng Yao: Learn how to chew with your mouth closed, for one.

Jin Zixuan: [indignantly] A-Yao? Are you not going to deny this?

[Brief silence]

Meng Yao: [calmly] I don't think I'm scary.

Qin Su & Mo Xuanyu: [instant uproarious laughter]

Jin Zixuan: Oh, come on! He's like...a little koala bear or something! How is that scary!

Meng Yao: [offended] Excuse me--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [still laughing] I’m gonna pee --

Meng Yao: -- koalas have smooth brains and eat poisonous leaves all day. Are you calling me a poisonous idiot bear?

Qin Su: [wheezes] Only in private.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughter trailing off] Wait, wait, hold on. Don’t all koalas have chlamydia or something?

Qin Su: [renewed laughter]

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [startled laugh] What?

Mo Xuanyu: Chlamydia! I think that I read--!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god, I think I’ve actually heard that. The plague, the bubonic plague, isn’t it? Or that--Some sort of--that disease people used to get where bits of you fall off?

Qin Su: Beheadings?

Meng Yao: [voice strangled from laughter] Yes, A-Su, that ancient disease the French Revolution that all koalas have--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [snickering]

Mo Xuanyu: [loud and close to mic] LEPROSY .

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Ow--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Holy shit--

Mo Xuanyu: It’s leprosy and you’re thinking of armadillos, da-ge. 

Jin Zixuan: [muttering] Aren’t we all….

Qin Su: [solemnly]  Armadillos and guillotines. Every damn minute of every damn day.

Mo Xuanyu: And I googled it, I’m right; koala chlamydia is a problem.

Meng Yao: And we’ve just found the title of this episode.

Qin Su: If most koalas have chlamydia, I feel like they have other problems they have to deal with.

Mo Xuanyu: Those pesky, promiscuous koalas!

Qin Su: Get them some damn sex ed! Use those eucalyptus leaves for protection!

Meng Yao: [pleasantly] That’s just about the worst thing I’ve heard all day.

Mo Xuanyu: Eugh, that menthol, though. Like Vicks for your dicks!

Meng Yao: I hate it.

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: [pained] PSA: don’t do that. Ever.

Qin Su: The voice of experience?

Jin Zixuan: I don’t think you actually want an answer to that, meimei.

Meng Yao: You people make me hate learning and also knowing things.

Mo Xuanyu: Also I've been looking it up and mountain lions are the ones that can have the bubonic plague.

Meng Yao: Choose your fighter; chlamydia ridden koala, leprosy ridden armadillo, or mountain lion with the Black Death.

Qin Su: Well, at least the mountain lion could inflict some damage. Use it like a poison delivery system, like an anthrax letter to secretly infect people.

Meng Yao: [patient teacher tone] ‘A mountain lion is to an anthrax letter, like a koala is to a…?’

Qin Su: [mock frustration] Oh, man, I know this one….

Mo Xuanyu: 'I can't come into school today, I got attacked by a mountain lion.'

Qin Su: [acting concerned] 'Oh my God, are you okay? Are you gonna have scars?'

Mo Xuanyu: 'Worse. The Plague .'

Jin Zixuan:  Okay, glad we got our animal infections all sorted out--back to what we were talking about. So, riddle me this--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [delighted, Riddlemancer voice] Rrrriddle Me Piss, kids--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao & Qin Su: NO!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god --

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] I don't actually have anything today--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: A blessing .

Mo Xuanyu: --but I'll get you next time.

Jin Zixuan: No, I need to know, genuinely, this is not a bit-- why do you think A-Yao scarier than me?

Qin Su: I mean, what's not scary about a smooth brained bear full of toxins and chlamydia?

Meng Yao: [disgruntled] Uh huh.

Mo Xuanyu: Technically, they’re not bears, they're marsupials! And I think Yao-gege is more of an armadillo--hard on the outside--

[slight crosstalk] Qin Su: --And full of leprosy on the inside. 

Meng Yao: [further from mic, keyboard tapping] 'And to Mo Xuanyu...and Qin Su...I leave... absolutely nothing, except...this bag of dog shit and...spiders…..'

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Awww, A-Yu, we're being written out of his will again!

Jin Zixuan: Listeners, am I wrong? Am I crazy? He’s the size of a toddler--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still away from mic, keyboard tapping] ‘And to Jin Zixuan...I leave--’

Jin Zixuan: He looks like a sugar glider baby that got turned into a human man--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘This box...of useless...tetanus filled screws….’

Qin Su: Da-ge--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘--that i...encourage him to use…--’

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [snickering]

Meng Yao: ‘As acupuncture needles.’ There. Sent to the notary. Now, what were we talking about, again?

Qin Su: Da-ge, all those things might be true--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [flatly] Wow.

Qin Su: But here’s a test. What would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Jin Zixuan: [immediate, sounding businesslike and slightly aggressive] I would contact their parents and set up a meeting with the school officials and make it very clear that they are never to do that again.

Qin Su: [grinning] Okay. Yao-gege, what would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Meng Yao: [calmly] Absolutely nothing you could prove in a court of law.

Mo Xuanyu: [bursts out laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: I mean--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Uhhhh--

Qin Su: You see? Also-- [quick sing-song voice] 🎵 This is a joke, for legal reasons, this is a joke 🎵 [normal voice] He’s got that--that--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [lingering laughter] Yeah, it's that menace. Da-ge, you’re like--you’re like if a duckling--okay, you remember when I brought you to Hot Topic? You were like a duckling at a Death Metal concert.

Jin Zixuan: [defensively] The music was so loud--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [pityingly] Oh, Zixuan.

Qin Su: You're like if a golf course got turned into a human. 

Meng Yao You're what would happen if you gave mac and cheese a social security card and keys to a lamborghini.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Okay.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] You're the lightly salted almonds of people. 

Qin Su: You're like a wholesome Hallmark movie fucked the concept of the suburbs.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Sure. Sure.

Meng Yao: You emanate the peril of a box of lethargic kittens.

Jin Zixuan: Wow. My own family. This is coming from the physical manifestation of a My Chemical Romance song--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [smug] You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Jin Zixuan: -- and the woman who cries at the Land Before Time every time she watches it. I think this is a case of glass houses, here. Let ye who are intimidating... 

Qin Su: Oh, so we’re not roasting Yao-gege back?

Meng Yao: Not sure how me being compared to a STD riddled marsupial for about 5 minutes straight escaped your notice, A-Su, but alright. 

Jin Zixuan: I feel that you are all being...heinously short sighted, here. Are you seriously trying to tell me that A-Yu is scarier than me, a full grown man?

Meng Yao: I would certainly be more warranted in my concern about him stabbing me than I would about you.

Mo Xuanyu: Oh my God, gege, that was like 5 years ago and I already said I was sorry--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [loudly] What--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Did we actually help this person? I mean--

Mo Xuanyu: We always help, jiejie.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Hold on--

Qin Su: We learned a lot about exactly how disturbing the animal kingdom is, but….

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: No, go back--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: Dress like a middle aged accountant, share minion memes on Facebook, and buy your son a puppy so you have an excuse to talk to the dog and not people. There you go. Done.

Jin Zixuan: No, rewind--Xuanyu, you stabbed our brother? 

[brief silence]

Qin Su: [brightly] Well, that's going to do it for us today, folks--!

Jin Zixuan: A-Yu!

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: It was only a little!

Jin Zixuan: How can you stab someone a little ?! 

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Thank you so much for listening in this week--

Jin Zixuan: With what ? Why?!

Mo Xuanyu: It honestly wasn’t that bad, he made it sound like--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: That's not an answer --

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [begins laughing]

Jin Zixuan: A-Yao--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still laughing]

Qin Su: [brightly]  We hope you enjoyed our enlightening romp, here! We want to thank Sister Sledge for the use of the song We Are Family. A-Yu, how about that last Yahoo?

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [farther from mic, clearly grinning] Ohhh, boy. 

Mo Xuanyu: Okay, okay--anonymous Yahoo Answers user asks….[exaggerated, desperate voice] ‘I can’t afford a freezer. Where do I put my deer meat?’

[Outro music begins quietly]

Qin Su: [laughs] I’m Qin Su.

Jin Zixuan: [sighs, disgruntled] I’m Jin Zixuan.

Meng Yao: [grinning] I’m Meng Yao.

Mo Xuanyu: [sheepish] I’m Mo Xuanyu.

Qin Su: And this has been My Brothers, My Sister, And Me! Thank you to everyone, see you next week and remember; send your trash dad straight to jail!

[notchesandbullets]

Wherever You Go, I Will Follow (Boxer! Metal Arm! Bakugou x Reader) Underground!AU

Art credit: @/helloclonion on Instagram

Warnings: violence, drinking (everyone is of age), hints of ptsd and depression, mentions of cloning norms, angst but fluffy ending.

Synopsis: Bakugou doesn’t like to talk about what happened to his left arm. Years of fighting underground had made him harder than nails. Society was messed up. Children weren’t born, they were made and any who aren’t adopted are raised in mass orphanages. But you’re special. And you’ve chosen the light even though you’ve seen the darkness. Who else to get through to his heart other than someone like you?

Words: 7.8k

The lights blind you momentarily as they flashed on. The humidity in such a crowded space packed with people was making your skin crawl but it was worth it for the greatly anticipated show.

An underground arena that had this much hype was rare since most fighters didn’t make it past their 20s due to injuries so severe from boxing that it cost them their lives.

There were zero qualified doctors here in the society riddled with old factories that didn't exist anymore and sleazy underground cities where nothing could grow anymore due to the pollution. It had fallen to ruin and only a select handful that could heal like they claimed to. 

Due to that little insignificant fact, that meant the expected lifespan of everyone down here wasn’t more than 30 years of age.

Of course, it varied from section to section, but there was enough pattern to know that there wasn’t long to live once you got to your teens.

Therefore, everyone lived fast and hard down here, trying to experience as much as they could before it was their time to go.

And while you couldn’t say that you blamed them, that wasn’t how you wanted to live. You wanted to fight back against the norm and make a difference that would change this world.

Which is why you were so interested in this particular fighter.

Bakugou Katsuki. 

A reformed individual with a criminal record after a looting with his crew went sideways. He was stronger than most with an attitude and ego bigger than the city itself.

He was renowned to be one of the baddest in the underground and had a personality as difficult as a cloned Siberian tiger.

You sighed and rolled your eyes. You didn’t know why Mic couldn’t come scout today instead of you, you hated how jam packed Bakugou’s fights got, which is why you always steered clear of them.

Well, that and because you weren’t exactly partial to his famed temper.

Then, the glint of metal had you on the edge of your seat, eyes sparkling with curiosity as you caught a better look the second time around as he stomped into the ring. 

Was that… a metal arm?

It looked like something straight out of Marvel’s Winter Soldier from back in the day. Scarily so. 

You faintly recalled that his opponent’s name was Shindou, supposedly the underground’s upcoming rising star to the top. His undefeated reputation preceded him and he certainly was easy on the eyes.

So why did you find your gaze drawn to the arrogant boxer with a cocky smirk on his face across from the guy that was cuter than him?

Metal arm flexing, sweat dripped down his brow, his crimson eyes narrowed in concentration and tinged with a hint of malice as his much larger rival took a swing at him to kick off the round.

Bakugou blocked it head on, retaliating with a force that sent him spiraling towards the cage. His wrapped hands were crusted with blood and he hastily brushed the dirtied, spiky hair that fell into his eyes out of his face, a ravenous hunger coming through as he bounced on the balls of his feet. 

“Is that all you fucking got, extra?!” He screamed in Shindou’s face and you actually had to cover your ears at the sheer volume that carried through the stadium, egging him on.

Your mouth dried as Bakugou caught him across the jaw the second he flew at him, knocking out his opponent in one go, calling the match in under thirty seconds flat. 

Holy shit, he’s good. You thought to yourself, thoroughly impressed, barely able to hear yourself over the crowd’s roar as Bakugou punched his fist in the air victoriously. 

His technique seemed rough to the naked eye but taking a closer look, his form and tactics were flawless. His overall strategy could use a little work, since he seemed particularly keen on using brute strength, but he was really good at turning the tables on his opponent in an instant.

And really good at making sure that they couldn’t get up again after he threw them down.

You had your share of good fighters. Not like that, you dirty minded creature, you were a scout for your father’s gym. 

Aizawa wasn’t a revered name by any means, but that didn’t mean he lacked skill. He was the one who could take down more people than any other pro could, but he absolutely hated media attention. Hence why almost no one knew of his abilities, other than a select few of his colleagues and fellow fighters. 

And you of course. You were so incredibly proud of your him.

He had recently been scouting new talent after taking in several kids: Shinsou, Todoroki and Midoriya. 

The female boxers in his ring were a literal force to be reckoned with. You weren’t sure you’d ever seen someone pack a punch with as much power as Uraraka when she got serious. And no one could beat Yaoyorozu when they stepped in the same arena as her.

In the underground, it was normal to come across those that talked big, but rarely have you ever seen them deliver.

This guy had some raw talent. Perfect. 

Looks like Uncle Hizashi’s instinct was right.

After the fights ended and the exciting night came to a close, you wormed your way through the rows of people lining up to claim their bets that they had placed at the beginning of the night. You were at least smart enough not to get sucked into all that. 

A cage match had too many variables. The odds could change in a split second, no matter how good or bad the fighter was. And since there were no rules, anybody could win. 

You found the boxer in the designated fighters’ alcove security had put there especially for them to wind down. Here, they would be hidden away from the crowd and only the fighters knew about this spot aside from those that protected it.

“You’re good.”

Bakugou snorted, not looking up at the sound of your voice as he continued to unwrap the tape from his hands. “Of course I am, dumbass.”

You cocked an eyebrow at his arrogant attitude but after a fight like that, you guessed the pride was well deserved. After all, the guy he went up against was undefeated. No one had beat him and after Shindou earned his reputation of tearing the limbs off of the fighters he faced, no one wanted to step into the ring with him after that.

But Bakugou didn’t back away, even going so far as to taunt this guy, boldly proclaiming that he’d beat him.

Normally, you would brush off those guys as no good but he made good on what he said he would do, so you were at least a little bit curious.

A little.

You still didn’t like his attitude though. 

Tossing the bloodied wraps in his bag, he ignored you as you just stood there like a lost puppy. People like you didn’t belong in the underground.

Soft.

Bakugou scowled and huffed scornfully, throwing his bandages down with a little more force than necessary. 

Patching up wasn’t too bad this time around. He was lucky the round ended when it did though, that fucking extra had too much boisterous energy and willpower that had carried him this far. Still, it was better than fighting bare-knuckled. 

There was a time when wraps or gloves weren’t allowed. People liked the blood and violence, and craved someone to come out victorious by taking the other’s life.

Fucking sickos if anyone asked him. 

Bakugou slung his gym bag over his shoulder and shouldered his way past you since you had yet to say a word after that initial, begrudging praise. He couldn’t care less if you hung around but he wasn’t going to stick around for the damn media to catch whiff of this fight.

Once it was leaked that he had won, they would take a percentage of his cut and he would have to go without food for another week just to pay rent on that shitty place he stayed at. 

It wasn’t much but it was better than the streets.

“Wait.” You called out, inwardly chastising yourself for being so pathetic. 

You weren’t star-struck or nothing, so why were you feeling so tongue-tied?

Taking a deep breath when he snapped his head around to glare at you in annoyance for stopping him, you rolled your eyes when he tapped his foot impatiently. 

“You gonna take all fucking night, extra?” Bakugou barked at you, clearly not playing around. 

Your eyes widened as the metal plates on his left arm clinked together as he raised up his fist threateningly.

“I’ve got places to go and shit to do.” He grumbled. “So if you’re just going to stand there like a fucking—”

“Do you want to be a part of Aizawa’s gym?” You blurted out before he could get too carried away on his rant.

Bakugou arched an eyebrow in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. It was rare that the scruffy old man took on recruits.

Huffing, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and scrutinized you. “Who the hell are you?”

You cringed at how rough his voice laced with suspicion came out but you supposed you could understand. 

Collectors were far too common these days, usually rich scouts from corporations that searched for talented fighters to partake in their financial war when it turned bloody.

You weren’t really sure how it was possible for those airheads to train delinquents into soldiers for their military to fight in the wars that they created, but all you were really concerned about was dodging those scouts.

They weren’t people to trifle with.

Bakugou’s suspicions were misplaced this time around though and you jutted out your hip, planting your hand on it as you regarded him disinterestedly. 

There was only one thing that you could say to get him to trust you.

“He’s my dad.” You said quietly.

The boxer nearly choked on air and you flashed him a cheeky grin when he whipped his head around to glare at you.

“Fuck, seriously?”

You nodded and a heavy exhale whooshed out of his lungs in one breath.

Bakugou cocked up an eyebrow, seeing you in a completely different light. “Holy shit.”

You resisted the urge to dash away under his intrigue but you flinched when his eyes landed on you again.

“Sorry.” Bakugou muttered, averting his eyes. “Just never seen one before.”

You scratched the back of your neck, a habit you picked up from your introverted father whenever he was put in uncomfortable situations. “Yeah…”

Children weren’t born anymore, it was illegal. Partly because expenses couldn’t be covered if people got pregnant and partly because the kids would have nowhere to go, but mostly because the government wanted a controlled population. 

By controlling the gene pool, they could create whoever and whomever they chose, placing them in different status’ around the world to fill in the gaps and create the perfect society.

Except, it really wasn’t all that perfect.

You had been a product of your mom and dad’s unconditional love for each other, something else that was also forbidden, especially in the underground cities where disease ran rampant and claimed numerous innocent lives everyday. 

Your mother wasn’t dead but she did have to leave soon after you were born to protect you from the government officials that would come if she stayed.

Your dad was heartbroken but once every three years, the three of you were reunited under the bridge where seagulls cried and the waves crashed upon the shore.

Once upon a time.

Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest, his bicep bulging and you were willing to wager that he specifically got those measurements for his metal arm tailored to those specifications just so his huge muscles were distractingly the same size. 

He was still not entirely convinced you were who you said you were. He knew that you had to at least be a bastard’s biological child, no one was bold enough or fucking stupid to say that much out loud, but he still wasn’t sure that the old man was your dad.

Not bothering to be discreet as he eyed you up and down, he motioned for you to give him a little more information.

“Aizawa, huh?” Bakugou drawled. “You don’t fucking look like a brat that belongs to him.”

Clearing your throat, you smirked. Now you were the one tapping your foot impatiently. “Thanks, I’m told I have my mother’s eyes.”

He glared at your sarcasm but you didn’t care.

Craning your neck to the side to get a better look at that beautiful arm of his, you pouted when he ducked out of range.

“Prove that he’s your dad.” He demanded and you feigned innocence before shooting him a grin when he rolled his eyes irritably. 

Crossing your arms over your chest, you responded cheekily, “Coffee and cats are his two favorite things in the world, and he only tolerates Uncle Hizashi on a whim when he’s wasted.”

Bakugou barked out laughing and you smiled at the boisterous sound escaping from his lungs. 

“So,” You kicked your feet, scuffing the dirt as you sidled over to him. “You in or what?”

His left arm glinted in the dim, flickering light of the alcove and he tucked in his chin the slightest bit to stare down at you, the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“Hell yeah.”

Exactly one year later, you were weaving in between the clustered bodies in the dingy underground bar you were at to make your way to the obnoxious and rowdy group in the back, all while balancing a tray of beers in one hand.

They had just arrived a few minutes ago, eagerly chatting with your dad, who was their trainer, even though he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but here.

Your skirt flared around your ankles as you sashayed through the crowd dancing on the dancefloor, a couple strands of hair sticking to your forehead from the exertion of how many tables you waited on already.

“First round’s here!!” You announced, beaming brightly at the packed group of 15.

Shoji, Mineta, and a few others couldn’t make it due to conflicting schedules. But it was alright, they would come again another time. Besides, you were quite sure that a special someone couldn’t care less if they made it or not for this particular day. 

“YES!!” Kaminari shouted escatically, throwing his hands up in the air.

A chorus of “thank you’s” came from the girls as Ashido eagerly reached for her first drink of the night, downing half the bottle in one go. You predicted she was going to be out like a light within the hour if she kept that pace up. 

“Don’t get shitfaced, Kaminari.” Jirou twirled a strand of her dark hair cockily as she teasingly held the last one out of arm’s reach. “Lightweight.”

“Jirou!!” Kaminari protested while the table burst into laughter.

The edgy fighter eventually gave into him, shaking her head in disapproval when he proceeded to chug all of it straight like it was some kind of shot. A knowing smirk appeared on her face when he choked.

“Told you so.” She rubbed in his face as Asui leaned into her side.

“Shut up!!” Kaminari shouted between violent bouts of coughing. It only got worse when Ashido slapped his back, already drunk.

But the slight pink dusted across his cheeks clued you in on what he was really doing.

You shook your head. If he was any more dense, you would’ve smacked him upside the head. Maybe then he would’ve come to his senses and that he didn’t need to do all these things to impress her. 

Jirou never hated anything more than someone who felt fake to her.

As you distributed the rest of the drinks to a clueless Todoroki, a way too eager Midoriya, and handed water to Koda, who thanked you shyly with a small nod.

You smiled at him, then left to the bar that your uncle was managing to get the order for the next table while Iida shouted for everyone to make sure they drank responsibly so that they didn’t cause any problems for you. 

But it was largely ignored in favor of raising their beers in a toast for the birthday boy.

Bakugou scowled in the corner that he was shoved into, wondering why he of all people had to be dragged to this shitty celebration for a birthday he couldn’t care less about. It was too loud here and it was making his head hurt. The only consolation he got was that you were a rare sight, wearing a dress that he had bought for you a week ago.

The seamstress who had made it for him specifically had charged him an incredible amount of money for it, since fabric of any kind that wasn’t made from recycled garbage liners was nearly impossible to come by.

But being a part of the ring of fighters that made up Aizawa’s Warriors gave him credibility and enabled him to make even more money than he did before, so it wasn’t a problem.

That much. 

After rent on his rundown place and scrounging for food, he had saved up the rest for weeks before he was able to afford the pale blue satin dress edged with delicate white lace around the sleeves that cascaded off your shoulders. The tightly-fitted bodice that wrapped around your waist was a simple leather corset, accentuating those curves of yours more than should be legally allowed.

You looked absolutely delicious. 

You continued to sweep around the tavern, oblivious to the looks you were getting. You had a bit of expertise in waitressing due to the lack of income your dad was able to provide so you had to convince him that you really didn’t mind helping out with the staff tonight.

The bar, owned by your Uncle Hizashi, a retired fighter but not retired in spirit, had all the profits go to the orphanages the city couldn’t keep track of or be bothered to pay for; which enabled those kids who were abandoned to have a roof over their heads in all the uncertainty.

The state of those houses holding those homeless children were horrendous. 

But your dad and uncle were taking steps to create something new that would provide them with some relief and a new family.

Kirishima clapped the ash-blond on the shoulder, jarring him out of his annoyance. “Come on, Bakugou, loosen up!!” 

He clicked his tongue and scowled at the red-haired guy’s energy. No one would think that this fun-loving guy and people person would be such a terrifying fighter in the arena.

Kirishima frowned when he noticed his lack of enthusiasm. “C’mon man, I know this isn’t your scene but Y/N worked really hard on this.”

Bakugou’s drink nearly spilled as he set it down abruptly. He wasn’t expecting that. Aizawa had told him that his friends had arranged this.

Picking up on his confusion, Kirishima then proceeded to tell him about how you gathered everybody to ask if they’d be willing to attend the party and how all of them enthusiastically said yes. You had gotten special permission from your Uncle Hizashi to borrow the VIP section of his bar and convinced your father to go easy on their training today. 

Really, the grumpy man with the metal arm should be thanking you since you were the reason all of them weren’t sore to death with barely enough energy to keep their heads up. 

Kirishima was going to blame it on Aizawa. He was tough on them. Too tough. No one should be that determined to make their students push past their limits but everyone knew it came from him caring more than anyone else. 

They were all like his adopted children, in a weird, skewed way. But, no one was going to argue against it. None of them had their biological parents in the picture. 

Besides, Aizawa had enough room for them all to crash in his home. An abandoned mansion overrun with thick green vines but had no working electricity whatsoever looked like something straight out of one of those old horror movies back in the 3000s. 

Bakugou scoffed. Like hell should he care about whether or not you planned this. He didn’t ask you to do any of this, you decided to do it all on your own. 

“Whatever.” He grumbled, snatching his bottle before stalking away from his shocked friends left in the dust. 

Todoroki raised an eyebrow as Kirishima sighed and Midoriya’s expression saddened when he saw him leave. They were supposed to be celebrating…

And yet, all three of them knew why today was so hard for the explosive boxer.

You frowned as you noticed the slumped figure retreating to the back of the establishment. Finishing up serving the drinks for the table you were waiting on, you briefly made a detour to your uncle and asked if it was alright that you take a break.

Ever the doting uncle who loved to spoil you rotten, Mic’s eyes softened understandingly when he noticed who you were staring after and granted you permission.

“Just don’t tell your dad I let you off the hook.” He bargained with an exaggerated wink and you giggled.

“I won’t.” You reassured, setting down the tray and squeezing his hand in thanks.

Then, you followed Bakugou. 

He disappeared around the corner and as soon as you tailed him, you came to a stop in front of a heavy door. Your brow furrowed, wondering why he would be coming here. 

Step after familiar step you took until you eventually came to a standstill on the roof.

Behind you, the heavy door slammed close but it sounded different than usual. Something metal crashed into it, denting it by the sounds of it, and it wasn’t until you turned around that you found Bakugou’s vermilion eyes boring into yours.

The wind was stronger up here and you pinned your arms down to your side, knowing full well from experience how mortifying it would be if your skirt decided to flip up right now.

“What the fuck are you doing up here?” He snapped angrily.

To his surprise, you didn’t look the least bit fazed by his outburst.

“I live here.” You responded nonchalantly, undeterred by his characteristic abrasiveness. 

If Bakugou was startled at that revelation, he didn’t show it. If anything, he looked even more irked, though you didn’t know why. He didn’t have any reason to suspect you of lying but in this world, it was safer to be skeptical than sorry.

However, you hadn’t given him one reason to doubt you the entire year you’ve known him. Not one.

So if anything, he trusted you more than the majority of the rats in his rundown city and just as much as his small circle of extras. 

Picking your way past him carefully since the roof didn’t have a safety rail, you made your way towards the curtained tent hiding behind the generator. Pushing the tattered material back, you showed him the bedroll and small table set up with a few bottles of water, a case of beer and a worn book. 

Bakugou’s mouth dropped open but he recovered quickly so by the time you turned back around, he had the same indifferent, kind of irritated look on his face.

Then, he was a bit at a loss of what to do. It wasn’t often he was faced with the dilemma of being wrong so blatantly. Should he apologize? Even when he didn’t say anything but the thought that you were crazy ran through his head? Should he apologize for something you weren’t even aware of?

Nah, fuck that.

You gingerly took a seat at the edge of the roof, leaning back on your hands as your legs dangled. Patting the spot next to you invitingly, a soft smile curved on the corners of your mouth as he grumbled but came over anyway. He plopped down on your right side and you took a moment to study him. 

He looked exhausted, spirit whittled down to the bone until there was nothing left for him to salvage. His eyes were bloodshot and the beer bottle in his hand probably wasn’t doing any favors for him.

Glancing at him out of the corner of your eyes, you asked worriedly, “You okay?”

He huffed in annoyance at your question.

“Fine.” He ground out through clenched teeth and you shut your mouth.

Bakugou clearly wasn’t looking to talk but you yearned to help. You wanted to be there for him. 

Kirishima hadn’t told you much, only that the incident that took Bakugou’s arm happened a long time ago and wasn’t something he liked to relive. 

You didn’t push it. You had your own share of traumatic experiences in this god-forsaken place and hated nothing more than being forced to talk about by a well meaning friend. So you understood it well. 

Instead of pushing the topic, you sat with him in silence. You didn’t ask why he walked away from the party or why it looked like he was drowning himself in his sorrows to forget something, you just offered him a quiet place to sit, with the company of yours truly.

Fate was flawed. You knew that ever since you were born.

The warped sense of justice that the city had was suffocating. People were put away in prison only to be left to rot with no chance of redemption. Those that made it out were casted out to the underground with no hope to see the light. 

Combatants-for-hire wasn’t an unusual job to take on in the ruined city. All Might knew you too had been mixed up in some shit. 

But it was what made you strong in the end.

“I’m here.” Was all you said softly, staring out at the city lights that were especially illuminating tonight.

Thanks to the heavy pollution, the stars could no longer be seen with the naked eye so this was the closest thing you could get to those twinkling lights raised high in the sky. 

“It’s funny.”

You tilted your head towards him as he spoke and was a bit surprised to find him looking directly back at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher. 

His eyes were a little dazed, probably from the alcohol, but he looked a little more grounded than he did a minute ago.

Bakugou chuckled but it was short and grated against your ears for a second.

It was mocking.

He tipped his head back, downing the rest of his drink before harshly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand while he crushed the bottle in his metal fist.

Leaning over, he let go and let the shiny crystals plummet to the ground below. 

You smiled faintly, watching how they sparkled. It looked so pretty. 

Sitting back down, Bakugou mimicked your posture and huffed out a dry laugh. “Out of all the shitty extras in the world, you would be the only one to fucking get through to me.”

Your puzzlement must’ve shown through his alcohol-induced haze because the next thing you knew was that he teetered to the side as he lost control of his equilibrium and careened into you.

Out of reflex, you caught him and gasped at the temperature difference as his cold metal arm pressed against you. You could feel it through the thin fabric of your dress and latched onto it when he moved to pull away.

“Sorry.” Bakugou slurred curtly as he gathered his bearings and tried to detangle you from him. 

But his coordination wasn’t the best and he was growing more and more frustrated when you wouldn’t let go.

He snarled. “Let go.”

You shook your head firmly. “You could fall.”

Oh yeah. You two were on the roof. 

This was a bad idea. 

He didn’t know how he ended up here with you but he needed to leave. Immediately. 

Bakugou stumbled to his feet, somehow managing to lose his way halfway to the door and face-planted in something that smelled faintly of lavender. Snuggling into the soft thing that was rubbing against his face, his brow furrowed in annoyance as you giggled at him.

“You have to take me out on a date first if you want that.” You teased lightly and he immediately sat up as he realized he had crashed in your bed.

He scrambled upright, nearly falling over again in his haste. “Fuck, I’m—”

“It’s alright, Katsuki.” You reassured nonchalantly, coming down to sit beside him, but not close enough where your legs were touching.

Bakugou’s mouth twitched at the sound of his first name but his eyes softened the barest bit and he didn’t fight against it. 

Before he met you, he hated his name. It was a reminder that the place he came from was from a lab, cooked up like some sort of sick science experiment to fulfill a role in society that was chosen by some prick who had money.

It was a reminder that he wasn’t real. That he was expendable to all those bastards that ran the world.

But when you used it, when you spoke it with such tentative curiosity and genuine concern, he didn’t feel so unimportant anymore.

“Fuck.” Bakugou breathed as you leaned closer to examine his face.

Your forehead creased in worry and you raised a hand to his head to check his temperature to make sure he wasn’t running a fever. “Are you feeling alright?”

Squeaking when he suddenly grabbed your hand, you gasped in shock when he tugged you towards him. 

You crashed into his chest and your cheeks flushed hotly as his chiseled form honed from years of training molded against your front. 

His arm wrapped around your shoulders and it took a second to realize that his metal arm was planted firmly on the ground, keeping the two of you steady. 

But when you reached out your fingers to brush against it, he ripped away from you.

You pulled back immediately, apology weighing in your gaze as your eyes flicked away from him. “I’m sorry, I—”

“It’s fucking hideous.”

You balked at his tenor. “W-What?!”

Bakugou looked away from you, his gaze fixed on the ground behind you as he rested his chin on top of your head, stubbornly refusing to look you in the eye as you breathed steadily against the base of his neck.

You were warm. Delicate.

Precious.

He didn’t expect someone like you to understand.

His vermilion eyes were shadowed by the ghosts of his past that continued to haunt him and he sighed heavily, curling his arm around you tighter. He didn’t want to let you go just let but he didn’t know why you weren’t pushing him away. 

Your soft voice rang out. “Katsuki, what do you mean? It’s not hideous at all.”

He clicked his tongue but otherwise didn’t verbalize his disagreement. 

“How could someone like you possibly understand this shit?” He spat but you didn’t recoil like he was half hoping you would.

At least then he would have an excuse to leave, under the guise that he had upset you. But you didn’t do any of that. 

Too fucking precious. Always saw the good in everything just like that shitty nerd. 

You closed your eyes in defeat. “No… I suppose I can’t.”

You didn’t quite understand him. 

The bite in his tone sounded like you had hit too close to home, and yet, his thumb was absentmindedly running over the satin of your dress that he had bought you, your side heating up under his chest and warmth bloomed from your heart.

And yet, he wasn’t pushing you away.

Leaning down, you rested your forehead against his shoulder, your heart beating too loud for your own ears. “You don’t have to say anything, but I know what it feels like to be an outcast too.”

Bakugou eyed you cautiously, wondering if this was some sort of trick because he was drunk and definitely not as attentive as normally but your tone was open.

Honest. 

“Yeah, maybe you do.” He scoffed, scorning you under his breath. “Maybe you don’t. It doesn’t fucking matter to me.”

“Maybe it doesn’t.” You whispered, tracing patterns on his chest as your head lolled to the side to gaze at him with complete vulnerability. “But just know that you aren’t alone.”

Bakugou whipped his head around as you stared at him. Didn’t you get it already? He didn’t want to fucking taint you with all of this shit that went on down here.

He didn’t want to tell you that he had to settle tinkering with whatever scrap metal he could find in the junkyard just to make his left arm operational again, didn’t want to tell you that the government had offered him a real replacement prosthetic but at the cost of becoming one of their combatants fighting in a war he never chose and as a result, he was casted to the side when something went wrong.

He had lost everything. 

The second he had been tossed out on the street, he had come crawling back to Kiko, a spunky little girl a part of the UA orphanage in the east, one of the ones that Mic funneled money towards to fund their food and supply them with fresh water every three days.

The girl, no more than ten at the time, with her dirty blonde pigtails sticking out on either side of her lopsided head, had been born with a unique appearance.

The officials called it a defect, as though they were talking about an object of mass production.

Fucking disgusting.

It never seemed to bother the girl though, and she often claimed that she was tougher than all those men in fancy suits. Bakugou liked her spirit already.

Kiko had had this habit of tracing her stubby little fingers all over the scars from his fights whenever he came to visit and it had been her idea to forgo a realistic prosthetic from the corporation that was looking to hire him and just go out, full badass, just like Bucky in the Winter Soldier.

It was her favorite movie but Bakugou claimed he had absolutely no idea where she learned that kind of language from. 

He had chuckled and patted her on the head at the time, swearing to hell and back that there was no fucking way he was going to build a metal arm. He would scare the kids if he did that, not to mention, full-grown adults.

But Kiko simply bounded over to him and beamed up at him like nothing was wrong in the world. It was fucking contagious, begging for him to at least consider it, selling the point of how cool it would look.

“You would be a superhero, Bakugou!!” She cheered, raising her hands up high, demanding for him to lift her up even though she wasn’t five anymore. “And you could save everybody, just like you want to!!”

He never got a chance to show her the finished product. Would she have liked it? Would she run around, screaming in his shitty apartment as she played with it when he detached it for cleaning? Would she try to hit him over the head with it when she thought he wasn’t looking like the cheeky brat he knew that she was?

Bakugou could hear her squeals of excitement so vividly some nights that he woke up from his terror of that night, soaked in cold sweat from a memory of the girl he had failed to save.

Defeated and overwhelmed by his circumstances after being rejected by the very people who sought him out because of his talent, he had ventured to the orphanage that night and on a whim, demanded her to live with him. He would take care of her, protect her, teach her things that she couldn’t learn from anyone else.

The widest smile he had ever seen stretched across Kiko’s face and she accepted his demands with eyes tearing up with joy. 

He vowed to protect her. 

He failed. 

He had an unsettled score with the government officials he had upset on his way out from the lab that day they told him he had been scraped from the program. 

The enraged fighter went on a rampage, tearing down anything in his path and clearing out the experiment rooms, offering freedom and a second chance to anyone willing and brave enough to take it. 

And as a result, many took him up on his offer and fled that place with white walls and food too bland to actually be considered nutritious.

There was no doubt about it. He pissed them off the day he saved the others.  

They had come for her and taken her last year on his birthday as revenge for freeing those they were experimenting on. He found a crumpled, poorly wrapped, newspaper covered package lost in the clutter of his apartment when he got home.

The creaking old door that kept out winter drafts had caved in, signifying that it had broken in with considerable force, and Kiko was gone.

That crushed gift hidden under the stairwell was the only thing that remained of her.

Inside, there was a small metal pin in the shape of an explosion. For his personality. Corny, but the little girl was simple-minded and liked the sentiment she found in things that she repurposed. 

Bakugou always thought it was fucking weird but he hadn’t taken it off ever since that day. 

The metal plates of his arm glided, clinking together softly as the polished steel lifted to trace your jaw, the pin visible on the inside of his wrist.

To keep her close to him always.

He had stormed their stronghold but by the time he got there, they were gone. Everything.

Every vial, all the equipment, every single one of the samples and officials had disappeared into thin air. 

Bakugou had tried everything to track Kiko down, paying off the highest crime organizations to get more eyes out on the street but nothing worked. She was gone.

And she wasn’t ever going to come back.

You were silent when he finished telling you his depressing life story, sure you were bored to death but when he started to get up, he found that he couldn’t get very far with you draped over his body like this.

Bakugou had a fleeting thought that you had fallen asleep while he had been lamenting and rehashing every depressing detail from his past but he noticed the stuttering rise and fall of your back.

Well, at least you weren’t asleep, but now he didn’t know how to feel when he had told you all of that and you had yet to say anything.

“I know you don’t want pity.” You whispered into his shoulder.

He raised an eyebrow but waited for you to continue.

“I know there’s nothing that I can say that would make the pain go away or bring Kiko back,” You said softly. “But I’m here for you.”

Bakugou pressed his cheek against your hair and inhaled your sweet scent, closing his eyes as an unseen weight lifted from off of his shoulders. 

“Thank you.” He murmured quietly with great difficulty. 

You smiled slightly, glad that you were able to provide him with a little bit of comfort. “Anytime.”

The two of you stayed entwined for a few more moments, time stretching as he held onto you, soaking up your soothing presence while you relaxed against his hold.

“Katsuki?” You called quietly when he still didn’t let go after five more minutes.

Tightening his arm around you, he frowned when you struggled in his grip. 

“Stop fucking moving.” He demanded and you ceased fighting in favor of pulling back to flick him on the forehead. “Oi, did you just fucking flick me?!”

“Yes.” You replied bluntly, snickering when he rolled his eyes. 

There he was.

Bakugou protested hotly when you pushed down his arms to untangle from him but you shushed him with a giggle, leaning back to open the box of beer by your bed, grabbing two bottles and fishing for something from underneath your pillow

In the underground city where liquor was the only thing that was plentiful, you would take what you could get. 

Bakugou caught the beer that you threw at him in midair with an expression a mix between annoyance that you tossed it at his face and gratitude that you knew how he needed another drink after that tale. 

“What the fuck is that for?” He scoffed, pointing to the roll of gauze in your hand. “You get a papercut or some shit?”

You rolled your eyes in disbelief, failing to notice how his eyes raked over you to look for any kind of injury you might be hiding from him, and held it up to him. “No, but it looks like you did.”

He almost spilled his beer that he just popped the lid off of, mouth furrowing in a deep-seated frown when he followed your gaze and landed on the cuts on his knuckles from the fight that happened earlier that night.

“Fuck.” He cursed, setting down the beer hard to wipe up the blood.

He hadn’t even known when he got hurt. 

But he didn’t even get started on tending to it when your gentle hands wrapped around his and you took over for him. 

“Here.” You murmured, pouring some water onto a clean cloth and dabbing carefully at his cuts. “Let me.”

“You’re fucking weird.” Bakugou grumbled but allowed you to take over. 

Your touch was so much lighter than the rough pads of his fingers. He was always too impatient whenever he had to patch himself up, jerking at the bandages to get them to lay flat when they wouldn’t cooperate.

It was a fucking pain to stop the bleeding when his shitty fingers fumbled with it. It was a trip to hell and back every single time he had to attend to wounds he got from boxing.

Your nose scrunched up in concentration as you finished cleaning the area before securely wrapping the soft cotton around his knuckles.

“There.” You declared in satisfaction, sitting back on your knees.

Admiring your handiwork with an unreadable expression, it was a second before Bakugou nodded begrudgingly with thanks.

“It’s not complete shit.” 

You giggled. “Thanks.”

He picked back up his drink and took a swig.

Offering up yours, you hid your surprise when he actually recognized the gesture and clinked his glass against yours.

The distinct hum from the music in the establishment below filtered up to the roof, filling the silence and the occasional echo of steel grating against each other. The low lights were pleasant and the ambiance was soothing as you two drank away the night.

You shivered, catching a chill as the night air blew by, but before you could reach for your blanket, Bakugou was tucking you in his side. 

“Get over here, dumbass.” He mumbled, turning his face away so that you wouldn’t see his blush. “You’re gonna get fucking sick.”

You noticed how he still kept your metal arm away from you. That wound was still too fresh and somehow you had a feeling that no matter how much time would pass, things would never quite be the same again.

Playing with the hem of your dress, you smiled softly. “But I wanted to wear it today, it was a special occasion.”

Special occasion his ass. It was fucking freezing out here and all you were wearing was that summer dress. His brow knitted as you puffed out your cheeks, breath visible, and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to leave you out here when it was so cold out.

“I’m sorry.” Bakugou apologized quietly as you lost interest in toying with the pale blue satin and folded your hands neatly in your lap.

At your questioning gaze, he suppressed the urge to roll his eyes but heat crept up his neck.

“For storming out on the celebration you planned, dumbass.” He grumbled, flicking you on the forehead in a similar fashion hat you had done earlier.

Whining, you held onto your forehead as you made an exaggeration of pain. He rolled his eyes at your antics and you giggled, snuggling further into his side.

“You’re warm.” You mused.

Bakugou scowled, cheeks still pink from the embarrassment tingling through his whole body. “Oi, are you fucking ignoring m—”

“Of course not.” You retorted, pinching his side in retaliation for the flick he gave you before your voice dropped a little. “It’s just— There isn’t anything you need to apologize for. I understand.”

Those words, they were so simple and yet, warmth bloomed in his chest from how they fell from your lips. 

And he could see that you were truly genuine.

He had rejected your kindness earlier when Kirishima had told him you had planned out all of this for him. He had never quite been accustomed to generously that lacked a price or some kind of condition.

Then again, he had never met someone quite like you. 

As you rested against his shoulder, Bakugou took the empty beer bottle from you and placed it on the other side of him so that you didn’t break it and cut yourself when you woke up from your little nap.

He gazed out into the city that had caused him so much misery and wondered how it was even possible for someone like you to exist.

Birthdays, he still hated them, but maybe, just maybe, he could start to heal.

It would start by telling that old man that you fucking needed a new place to sleep that wasn’t the goddamn roof.

It was a good thing he knew just the place you could go.

Brushing back the hair out of your eyes, he allowed a small smile to form on his face as you breathed softly, evenly and he smirked against the top of your head as a thought crossed his mind. And even though he knew you couldn’t hear him, he still murmured quietly.

“How do you feel about seagulls and sand, princess?”

[3liza]

I've said this before but what I need to run is a hands-on, documented experiment where I take a fake, but completely plausible "commission" I could potentially get, and then record how much time (and money, using AI image generators is not continually free) it takes to finish that commission to the extent that it would be accepted by a client.

because having spent hours working with the technology already I know for a fact that everyone who hasn't is not really aware of the process. how hard or easy it is, is sort of moot, since it depends entirely on dozens of variables that are only partially controllable by the human prompter. unlike just learning to draw something correctly, there is a huge element of pure luck in whether the AI cares about your prompt, or is even capable of producing it. it is genuinely like being a character on Star trek trying to phrase commands so they computer will fucking do what you want.

the ai bros claim these shortcomings will be removed soon, but they're wrong. the only thing AI art will ever be able to imitate perfectly is the lowest common denominator. that's the only thing there's enough data for. and the xeroxing errors are already happening. I think a lot of artists are shocked to discover that they were producing lowest common denominator work in the first place. they're further betrayed by this because that's the work that really pays well. Photoshop and selfie apps have a shitload of filters that make you beautiful in a boring way or like a layman's idea of an "oil painting" too. because that's what laymen like. the guy who copies photographs slavishly with charcoal on Instagram has hundreds of times more followers than I ever will. so does the anime waifu guy and the CGI video game porn guy. the most reliable work for traditional artists rn is mid tier pet and child portraits. that's all shit that AI can now do faster than I can, and in a way that 99% of tbe viewing public likes better than the dog painting I'll spend weeks on. same thing happened when photography was invented. portraits that were perfectly represntational of the sitter were suddenly accessible to the unwashed masses. everyone freaked out about this. the first thing photographers learned how to do? how to light and pose and retouch photos to make those unwashed masses look prettier and cleaner in their portraits than in real life.

the smart move right now is to do what has been the smart move for artists for the past 3000 years: get good at making what people with bad taste will pay for, sell it to them while rolling your eyes, and then use the money to make "real art", whatever that means to you. nothing has changed. you're just experiencing a technological horizon for the first time and you do not like it. the new tech is unfair, creates labor exploitation, moves the means of production into the hands of the elite, and incentivizes mediocrity. man I don't know how to tell you this but that is how it has been since the dawn of time. literally nothing has changed. until you find a way to make dumb people pay for smart pictures in a large enough quantity to pay your rent, you're in exactly the same position you were in before.

AI is not making previously-canny consumers stop caring about number of fingers or facial angle continuity or the validity of shapes on a plane. those people have never been able to notice that stuff. they can't tell when Vogue erases Rihanna's iliac crest and acne scars on a cover, they can't tell and they don't actually care. it's a nice picture they like to look at. the uncanny errors do not bother them. in fact a lot of those errors look more "real" to the average person than an unretouched photograph, which looks "weird" to them. "you have to be an autist or a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy" etc etc etc.

you know what probably put the most artists out of work all at once within well-documented history? the series of print and photographic technological changes that occurred around the end of the Edwardian period. idk who you think deserves to live in annoying times more than you do, but everyone's number comes up eventually, just like it does for plagues and earthquakes and meteor strikes.

if you are really serious about sabotaging new technology you better be out there blowing up colos and sending death threats to tech bosses. yelling at sexhaver for making funny computer pictures makes exactly as much sense as it made to get yelled at for doing print layout with Quark Express in the 90s. my god don't you care about the typesetters at all? I mean yeah of course I do. are you going to blow up Photoshop headquarters or are you just going to send hundreds of angry anonymous DMs on Tumblr dot com. what do you mean you aren't doing layout for your zines on a typewriter with glue and an exacto. the typewriter industry will collapse and it will be all your fault. just tell your clients you charge more because you only use authentic typewriters for your graphic design and layout work. oops homeless

just thinking out loud again here

you can't actually win or even have arguments with me about AI art because 1. I've been living almost exclusively on selling my art online and off for like 15 years and 2. I actually understand how these image models and computers in general work. unfortunately. and 3. the people on here who are being annoying about it are having the wrong argument. they don't even know what argument they're having. but they certainly are not any of the preceding 2 things either.

my career advice to you if you want to stay in the fields where large companies are heavily incentivized to move to AI art (why?) is to either develop as an artist to the point where a robot can't take your job (I'm not talking about learning to draw real good, at least not in a way a robot can imitate, which is anything on Artstation) and/or learn to get good at prompting and cleaning up prompted images so they don't have AI tells.

my general advice is everyone bitching and moaning about AI art needs to spend at least three hours on Midjourney just messing around with prompts. you should at least know your enemy a little bit before you go around saying dumb shit on here.

[villainess-supremacy]

headcanons of the four lords celebrating pride for the first time with their s/o

notes: you told them that it's pride month and asked if they would like to celebrate with you. none of them have ever celebrated pride before. I made the lords and s/o queer because I can

type: sfw, gender and sexuality of the s/o are not specified

tw/cw: slight mention of alcohol, blood, lgbtphobes

requests: open

Alcina Dimitrescu

her daughters have mentioned pride month before, but she's not sure what it entails exactly

you gladly explain it to her in detail!

she loves the idea since she is fruity herself loves celebrating for such a wonderful reason

you being part of it makes it so much better

and a whole month?? she's in

she would love to go to pride events with you, but she's afraid other mortals will be scared of her due to her height so you decide to just have your own celebrations in the castle

you love watching movies together so you show her all of your favorite queer movies and shows

you bought a pride flag to hang up below the balcony in the entrance hall

she loves the smile on your face when you proudly look up at it

"maybe we should extend pride to be all year if it makes you this happy, my love."

she already regularly gives you presents, but during the entirety of pride month she additionally leaves little gifts for you in your shared bedroom, the kitchen and all of your favorite places in the castle

and that daily

if there is any queer owned shop you like she will literally buy their entire stock

if there are any charities you mention she will gladly donate in your name and give you the certificate as a surprise

she realizes that something about June just makes her want you even more in general, in the private chambers, whichever is up to you wink wink

as a surprise she decides to make a special wine without blood of course named after you and your sexuality/gender if you use labels, but in fancy Latin words

she loves to drink, but of course watches over you so you don't have too much

mortals don't process it as well as she does...

if you come across any lgbtphobes and are noticeably saddened she will be there to distract you right away

everyone who dares to make her love sad will feel her wrath! be ignored since they're not worth her time

but if she finds out that anyone in the village doesn't support you or anyone who is part of the lgbt community, they will be forced asked to vacate their home

she will pamper you and shower you with her love even more

you once jokingly say "be gay do crime and turn maidens into wine" and she makes it her new motto but she's serious about it

Donna Beneviento

she knows a couple things about pride since she reads a lot, but you're so excited to tell her about it she simply lets you talk

you'd love to go to pride events with her but she's too shy and tends to have anxiety attacks when around too many strangers so she sends Angie instead

afterwards she will gladly listen to both of you tell her all about it!

she has her own collection of books that have queer characters in them which she never told anyone about before you and will read all of them with you if you like

there will be regular dates picnics while Angie takes care of the house

she's a cottage core sapphic and pride month brings out that side of her more

she has made dolls for you before, but this time she makes one that looks just like you

it has a pride flag embroidered on the top above the heart

of course you love it!

you're so glad that she accepts every part of you

she will make one of herself with a similar outfit and a small pride flag as well so she can set them up in couple settings

ever since she found out about online shopping it has opened up a whole new world for her so she will definitely get both of you matching outfits or jewelry from an lgbt owned shop

you love doing arts and crafts together so you suggest making bracelets for each other, either color coded or with letters

Donna's house has a flagpole she hasn't used in decades, but for you she'd gladly call for maintenance if it turns out it's unusable after all these years to hang a pride flag

anything to make you happy!

if there are any lgbtphobes bothering you or your friends, she will be right there to comfort you and won't hesitate to send Angie and her other dolls she can control to deal with them

even if you tell her that it's fine and she should just ignore them she's great at distracting you so you wouldn't notice until it's done oops-

since she has no portable device that can access music streaming platforms, but knows the password to your phone she decides to steal it for a bit and makes you the softest playlist that you since then often play for comfort

Salvatore Moreau

he has spent decades almost completely separated from humans so he has no idea what pride month means, but instantly agrees to it because he loves you so much

he will agree to anything that makes you happy

you both sit down and he looks at you with puppy eyes while you tell him all about pride

he loves the idea of celebrating a group of people you both are a part of

he thinks you deserve your own month to be cherished and celebrated!

he may be a little awkward with expressing his feelings, but he sure knows how to prepare a romantic dinner

with mother miranda needing all of the lords a lot to assist her, he usually barely has time to prep food, but for pride month he does his best to cook for you every single day

part of his usual outfit is a cape to cover his back and a type of crown made out of bones and rope

he's not the best with his hands, but he makes a crown for you that resembles his anyway because you're his queen/king/majesty

you love it so much!

you want to give him something in return so you go to the village and visit the shop you know is lgbt owned and get him a custom necklace with a fish pendant that has your initials engraved

he literally bursts out in tears because he is so touched :c

when you started dating he initially was scared of what you would think about his giant fish form, but you turned out to be really impressed and love it and since you'd be tiny compared to him he suggests taking you on an adventure of sorts

meaning you sit on his back while he swims around the lake which is like a roller coaster ride but more wet

he leads you to a hut you never visited before and he shows you treasures he has collected when he was still mortal

he starts making a list of things you could do and stays up all night to complete it but ends up with so many activities and ideas to celebrate pride you'll have to extend pride month... by possibly years....

if he hears about anyone being mean to you he'll just encase them into the blobs of gooey mass he can make but you don't need to know about that, pride month or not

he has always wanted to propose to you so he might be able to work up the courage to hint at it by the end of June

Karl Heisenberg

of course he knows about pride month!

he knows more than you might think

he isn't considered the rebel child for no reason

in the past he has done some celebration for himself, but it was never anything too special

he thinks it's no fun alone and his experiments servants aren't much fun

sure he could program them, but unless it's to attack something they're not really... party animals

since he has you now he'll gladly give it another go!

he'd love to go to pride events with you, especially if you go to drag shows

he didn't know about them before you made him go to one

something about them fascinates him so much, he's more excited than you

he's not really into cooking, but nothing will stop him from making you a nice breakfast in bed

you always love watching him work on his machines because he likes to take off his shirt when he's hot seeing him do what he loves makes you happy

so he decides to gift you some robots to assist you with your everyday endeavors

it's not really necessary but of course you appreciate the gesture

it means more time to spend with him after all

he once sees you with a keychain that has a pride flag on it so he paints it on one of his machines that he uses more often

mostly he will end the day by having a drink and dancing with you

it's a celebration, so celebrate he will

if you're more in the mood for chilling on the couch he won't say no to watching some queer shows or movies

after working on his machines he has a way of just melting into your arms

if he sees you smile at certain scenes in movies he might attempt to do the same with you

of course you notice, but you definitely can't complain especially if you smile on purpose at the spicier scenes

anyone who will come between you and happily celebrating pride will be visited by Sturm banned from his factory and getting anywhere near you

he likes to name his subjects so he will start naming them after all of your favorite queer historical figures, activists and famous people in general

any smile he can get out of you is a win

a win for the gays you might say

when he was younger he may have had a phase of spraying graffiti around the village so you're not surprised when he goes around his factory and writes "be gay do crime" on several of his machines and doors

[sarahreesbrennan]

You wrote on twitter that you were too young to be published and did fool things you later regretted. I'm curious about those regrets - is there anything you'd be willing to elaborate on?

I do want to clarify I meant I personally was probably too young, and I wasn't a babe in arms when I was published--I was 24, which is an adult! S.E. Hinton was 18 when her first book was published and she arguably invented young adult fiction. Jennifer Lynn Barnes was a teenager when her first book was published and she's always been a genius rock star. Some people are married and having kids and doing great at their jobs at 24, but some people are in college, or learning the ropes of their jobs and full-time work life in general and messing up because it still feels unfamiliar. Most of us, me included, will be making messes until we die, though we can hope for better messes.

My regrets aren't super secret--I would've conducted myself differently online and offline. One thing I've said before: I wouldn't link up my real name and my fanfic identity the way I did back when. That means having your juvenilia out there and judged, and yourself judged in a very particular way! It is hard to sit in the doctor's office and ask him for written proof you have cancer, because the internet will accuse you of faking it. (Yes that did happen. That poor man's face was like, 'Girl, why do you not live your life right.') As I've said, I have an assistant-with-antis who filters my social media and email so I don't have to come upon hostile stuff, and I do wonder if there are ways to inspire less hostility.

But to be clear regarding that example, I think fandom is awesome in many ways, and it's valuable to say you wrote fanfiction, just don't get too specific. One of my most cherished facts about a (fancy, brilliant, very bestselling) writer friend is that she wrote Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction once. Many of my writer friends used to or still do write it! (Fanfic in general... I'm not outing a bunch of writers as avid Sonic fans...) And being open about my identity did mean I had some beautiful supportive readers from the jump, who were sweet to me and made friends with each other (Marmalade fish shoutout). I love that people connect over fiction, and that they connected over mine. My advice to others is to do it like Oscar winner Chloe Zhao, and be like 'yes I write it, yes the call is coming from inside the building, yes creative engaged people engage creatively in many ways, no you'll never know my online name!' And that's mostly how it's done these days--there are masses of fanfiction writers in TV, in movies, working as editors and agents in publishing, and who are writers, because people who are passionate about creativity are passionate about creativity in many ways. A decade ago and nobody was sure how it was going to go: I do think it went well generally, if uneasily for test balloons like me.

Overall, as regards regrets, if you're alive, you're making mistakes, and if you're growing, you're learning from them. Often the more you care, the more mistakes you make. There are some things only life experience can teach you, and I've seen people who came into writing with experience from being, for instance, lawyers which they were able to use in many ways, and there were times I wished I'd acquired experience or lost naivety in a job that wasn't my dream job. Sometimes I really didn't know what was going on, and later I was like 'Ohhh! Oh Lord.' I would say a few things I wish I'd known: How to draw boundaries like circles of salt that others couldn't cross. The personal and the professional are going to blur, but it's still important to try and differentiate them. How to pick your battles: recognise the unwinnable, find the most likely strategy for victory with the winnable ones. Know that people won't like you just because you're making life more convenient for them, so don't do it for that reason. OMG abide by contracts and make sure the contracts cover every eventuality. Learn the art of standing your ground calmly. (One day, I'll get it.)

But getting published at any age is complicated: I have one friend who was sure she was going to die after she got her publishing contract because it was her dream accomplished, and what was left? I have more life experience in my 30s, but I also had most of those years totally slain by cancer: my writing went off a cliff long before I was diagnosed, and then I couldn't write, and since then I've been scrambling. If I'd been published first at 30 I might have handled myself in style, but there definitely wouldn't have been two trilogies before the long pause. One very lovely, very talented lady who was first published in the same year I was died shortly after. You don't know what's coming: Margaret Mitchell was hit by a speeding drunk driver and we'll never know if rumours she planned to write a sequel to Gone with the Wind are true. The people whose first books were out in 2020 had a tough time, and I would've freaked out if I'd been in their position and am glad I didn't have a non-tie-in novel out--it was very strange to have two tie-ins out that year as it was! People were reading books in 2020, but it was harder for new books to get on their radar.

I didn't write the tweet to alarm anyone, or say there was a magical time it was best to be published at. Lots of amazing writers aren't published, are published feeling they're too young, are published feeling they're too old. I think my tweet was really to say, there's no precise right time, and no way to execute your dreams exactly right. I do look back on stuff and think, oh lord, me at 30 might have handled THAT better. I hope that I'll look back at me now from 50 and go, I'd crush the stuff that crushed her!

Are there things I would change, sure. But I probably would make different mistakes if it had all happened differently for me. Humans constantly torment ourselves imagining the magic way we could've got everything right, a task exactly nobody has accomplished. I've never lived a perfect life or written a perfect book, and I don't know anyone else who has. I'm really glad I was published, and really proud of all my books. If you've never done something you've regretted, how much have you done? Keep going.

[romanianwilkinson]

MONSTER CAMP QUOTES STARTERS

A collection of sentence starters from the game Monster Camp. Feel free to change words and pronouns as desired. CONTENT WARNING(S) FOR: Monster Prom/Monster Camp spoilers, suggestive, cursing, crude content

“ I just have it here because [NAME] insisted that I offer it, as a marketing stunt. ”

“ And lastly, super-horny-type players no longer get a charm buff against tsundere types! ”

“ War machines don’t turn me on or anything! ”

“ I don’t wanna be weird, but do you mind if I climb inside of you and play around with your main turret? ”

“ A wine to DIE for, you say? Well, darling, don’t threaten me with a good time! ”

“ This one just says ‘ hmu with that reaper dick, daddy ’. ”

“ You on your phone, as always! Probably making blogposts on your Tik Tok page. ”

“ Yeah, you really don’t want to witness a repeat of the last time [NAME]’s diehard fans went without a selfie for fifteen minutes. My tailbone still hasn’t completely healed. ”

“ Now hold still, this will only hurt for a moment --- ”

“ Yay! You found a shenanigan! ”

“ My poems all have two or three emotions in them, AT LEAST. ”

“ CRYING IS OBVIOUSLY A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO CAN SQUEEZE THE MOST WATER OUT OF THEIR EYES! ”

“ No way, really? The way to WIN at poetry is by LOSING at life? ”

“ I dunno, maybe fall in love with someone who’s married and develop an opioid addiction? ”

“ HELL YEAH, SPEEDRUN! ”

“ It’s morbid, but... kind of romantic? ”

“ GASP! Google+? Are you kidding me? The psychopaths behind that global tragedy are here?! ”

“ Prison has changed me, [NAME]. Would you like to trade me some cigarettes in exchange for my fundamental dignity? ”

“ Undermining the laws of reality, subverting life and death, that’s the kind of stuff my followers expect. But CHEATING? No way. ”

“ Though we are imprisoned in chalk jail, we are free in our hearts. But our hearts are also imprisoned in chalk jail. ”

“ Um, no, I am NOT groveling. I am posing a dignified query to [NAME] that just so happens to be performed on my hands and knees. ”

“ I didn’t know you condoned playing the friend card to get free labor, [NAME]. ”

“ Ah, but saving the world doesn’t put avocado toast on the table. We indie seancers and necromancers need to pay our rent too, you know. ”

“ And as you know, I am illustriously Internet-famous, so if you could shower me with adoration and give me the pizza that would be fabulous. ”

“ Do you wanna fuck the pizza or not? ”

“ Are you ready to go swimming? I must admit, darling, I’ve always wondered what you would look like while... wet.”

“ Did you turn this date into an orgy without consulting me? ”

“ Gosh, I love it when you insult me! Please do it more! ”

“ Now who wants to make a baby? ”

“ What if she puts a curse on me that makes me magically forget the location of the clitoris?! ”

“ Hey, don’t knock wacky decisions that endanger us all! That’s how I always manage to stay a step ahead of my nemeses! ”

“ Oh gods, I’ve killed so many monsters, just for being monsters. This is making me question my entire moral foundation. I NEED MORE THERAPY. ”

“ I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: fish give better pedicures than people! ”

“ You’re not tricking me into parenting a stupid egg. I’ve never fucked even ONE chicken! The egg is not my son! ”

“ You came to visit me at camp, Daddy! ”

“ Don’t be ridiculous, I know your brand of horny, [NAME], and this ain’t it. ”

“ I thought we both agreed to be nothing but vague and haughtily aloof about our past dalliances. ”

“ Point EAST, compass! EAAAAAAAAST! You dumb fuckboot!!!! POINT! EAST! ”

“ One time I was told a soul’s worst fear was bugs and I inadvertantly sent The Beatles. It happens to the best of us... And the worst of us. ”

“ SOMEDAY I SHALL DEFEAT YOUR FIVE STRANGE FEET! ”

“ Why do you keep suppressing your monster half? Embrace your true nature! ”

“ Wow. I didn't think this was possible, but I guess I was... wrong? About social media? Oh dear God, is this how grandparents feel?!?! Am I a GRANDPARENT?! ”

“ I don’t know! I was relying on my friends to cover up my bold and idiotic statement! ”

“ ... I ate the oars. ”

“ PSYCHE. The ocean can eat my ass. ”

“ So pucker up, [NAME]! I'm about to declare mouth war on your FACE! ”

“ YOU FOOLISHLY FOOLISH FOOL! You're showing our inexperience! YOUR HONOR, THE ENTIRE LEGAL TEAM PLEADS THE FIFTH! ”

“ That's right. I'm talking about a classic Transylvania Hot Tub, a Seth Brundle, and a REVERSE Reverse Romanian Wilkinson. ”

“ Sorry, I was in your ribcage seeing if I could use it to cut strips of crepe paper into confetti and then I got lost in your kidneys. ”

“ There's nothing sexier than a doomed romance between a dating sim player and a hot fictional character. ”

“ That's right! I secretly replaced one of you with a bear while no one was looking, to teach you a valuable lesson about the art of disguise! ”

“ Enchant my armor. I’m going into the lake. ”

“ For VIOLENCE REASONS! ” 

“ This stupid lake monster called me short the other day, but I was too low level to crush him like he deserved. ”

“ That dumb wet dinkhole won't know what hit him! But it will be me! I will hit him! ”

“ No, YOU'RE a fuckshark! Also, what does that even mean?! ”

“ You seriously didn't notice the enormous needles those interns jabbed into your veins as soon as [NAME] got here? “

“ It all makes sense! The Camp Dome is just an elaborate ploy to distract us from the giant mouth that eats campers! “

“ This is the BEST show I've ever seen in my life, which is now at an end! “

“ Am I high, or did he just tell us EXACTLY how to foil his evil scheme? “

“ What, like a few severed heads and visions of my grandpa screaming in horrendous pain are gonna freak me out? Where I'm from, you can buy that stuff at IKEA. “

“ ERROR: Due to the sixth mass extinction, the slaying of leprechauns is inadvisable. “

“ Then why do I have half-finished scarves, decoupage, pot-holders, friendship bracelets, and a taxidermied rabbit in my skeleton? “

“ The wang elemental. ”

“ I also have an uncle who works at Nintendo as a copy machine! “

“ What flavor of ice cream AM I?! Now I gotta know. HA! You know what I should be? 'Pistachio.' Because my outside is HARD, but I'm full of NUT. “

“ I mean, life is a bit like... this sandwich! No, stay with me, I'm going somewhere good with this. “

“ A survival situation without any sexy fun time isn't worth surviving in the first place. “

“ Rut the RUCK?! ”

“ The ' ambulance of the heart ' is just a regular ambulance! Ambulances treat all organs! ”

“ Yeah, that's why I made sure that my so-called ' emotional armor ' was also ' actual armor '. “

“ And being yourself is the key to living your dreams, which is the key to self actualization, which is the key to being really good at sex! “

“ So hot I'd buy that even without free shipping. 10/10, call me some time. “

“ Hi, quick question: does it count as kidnapping if I'm abducting you so you can help me do a thing you already agreed to help with? “

“ I could be wrong, but are you just upset because you DON'T have a skeleton that's inside your body? “

“ I'm gonna get SO FUCKING RELAXED MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE! “

“ Whoah, whoa, hold up. You're fucking my grandma? “

“ No, [NAME], that is a popcorn bag full of more dynamite. Put it down. “

“ I hear that at least 70% of people on Patreon aren't murderers! “

“ If you want cash, just rob banks like the rest of us! “

“ Did it work? Do you feel any less horny? ”

“ FUCK YEAH, LET'S PUNCH THAT MOUTH IN ITS MOUTH! “

“ Yes... incidentally, we are no longer allowed to enter Italy. “

“ Is anyone else turned on right now? ”

“ Yes! Yes! I know what you're feeling! I suddenly see how marrying a corpse isn't okay! “

“ JUST LET ME IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM, MORTAL! “

“ Look, choose whatever you want, but I'm not responsible for whatever you put in your mouth. ”