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kamurocho-lullaby · 1 year ago

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So I was planning to go through and pretty this up but I just haven't had the energy so I'm just gonna dump them here.

These are my notes from my first time watching the Yakuza movie!

I've added a cut because they're long. There's typos, they're not edited, it's literally just chaos bullet points but tadaaaah. There's also a lot of cussing, swearing, whatever u call it, so sorry.

Date is just so fuckin done with the Tokyo PD's shit I love him.

Throwing down in a Don Quixote, yes Kiryu.

WAIT IS THIS STARDUST! IS THAT FUCKIN YUYA?! IT IS AND KAZUKI TOO!

Wait who's this little shit bleeding in Kazuki's floor?

Kiryu's fight in the DQ reminds me of that gif of him fucking up a Poppo it's so good.

HOLY SHIT ITS MILENNIUM TOWER! I sure hope that doesn't explode.

HERE HE IS! Mr Tumblr Sexyman himself.

WHY ISNT HE SHIRTLESS COWARDS

I can't get over the fact Majima supposedly reads the financial times

"where's Kiryu?" "Somewhere" "not good enough" *murder*

I love the idea that Majima is at the batting cages so often it's his office. Like he absolutely painted that sign himself what a dork.

This chick is insane and wants to go robbing stores when a Yakuza war is breaking out, side story material

Date is so fuckin done literally said "not my Division"

AAAAAHHHHHH ITS HARUKA!!!!

Kiryu seems a lot colder in this movie than he is in the games idk maybe he'll warm up

Who is this cocktail making silent man I am so confused

Why is Kazuki so hot?!

THEYRE ROBBING A PORK BOWL SHOP WHAT THE FUCK

Majima and crew are goofy as fuck and I really love them literally everyone is scared of them it's fucking hilarious

HE CALLS HIS CREW KIDDIES and then ditches them to get his rocks off in a video store and the guy he beaned with a fuckin baseball in his own crew is like "ILL FOLLOE U TO THE ENDS OF THE ESRTH"

This man is goofy as fuck one second and then breaking fingers and toes to find his boyfriend the next

DUDE HES PAYING THIS KID WITH PAIN WTF I wanna be this kid wtf

Oh fuck he's got a gun, nobody should allow Majima a gun

HIS CREW KNOWS THE DEAL THEY'RE ALL HANDS UP DONT SHOOT ME BOSS I LOVE YOU

Literally the Majima fam have a "oh fuck the boss has got a gun" emergency plan

I just noticed he's wearing a studded belt omg

Kiryu needs more frown lines

OHHHH DADS MEET AGAIN

Haruka got some sass I love her

"don't be corrupting her mind" what the fuck Date he found her like that

Majima was fuckin up Pink Street why didn't he go karaoke

Lol the guy at Ebisu Pawn gives zero shits about being robbed

Kiryu, Haruka and the dog make a cute picture I love it

Fuckin Majima isn't even like looking for intel he's just wandering around shouting about Kiryu-chaaaaaaaan

Lol Kiryu gets a flip phone and it's got a charm on it omg

"over the top shit is his trademark" you don't fuckin say

LOL DATE he's just like Kiryu and Majima are up to shit it's your fuckin problem I'm out "the military won't even save your asses" omg

Don't tell me the fuckin Jingweon are here I don't wanna fuckin deal with thaaaaaaat

"Yokohama's Lau Kalong" WAIT WHAT (having learned more about 7, YES that Lau Kalong apparently the Snake Flower Triad are a bunch of assholes and they're also like everywhere)

Oh fuck this kid's been sent to kill Kyohei Jingu?! no shit of course he has

Oh fuck SERENA I didn't think we'd see that in this movie

Lol Kiryu knows the RGG way, they ain't dead until you see a body and even then cough cough Kashiwagi cough cough

Lol Haruka teaching him to use a cellphone

Majima taking a break from getting his ass kicked by Kiryu to beat up his boys is so fuckin funny

Haruka's just on the sidelines like "these fuckin dumbass boys smh"

I'm sad it's not his lacquered tanto

Yo Kiryu is fuckin merciless what?!

LOL HE JUST FUCKIN DROPPED Kiryu is so done with his dumbass boyfriend flopping on the groud

Lol all the Yakuza in Kamurocho mobilising like the fuckin Avengers

LOL the bank robbers feeding everyone in the bank is just wild I love it, still can't figure out who they are tho (they're side story material)

LOL ALL OF MAJIMAS GUYS CRAMMED IN AN AMBULACE

How is Majima MORE unhinged in this movie than he is in the games

Theatre square! Honestly the shots in this movie are actually pretty good, im surprised

The Jingweon's gun is a monstrosity why the fuck

Is that supposed to be Shimano?

Kazuki getting all intimidating with the weapons dealer do be kinda hot tho why he gotta grab him by his chin like thst

Also why does Kiryu know this guy and why does he know he's a massochist?!

LOL Kiryu protecting Haruka from the creep but like why is she there?!

Kiryu hearing all this shit about his kyoudai and he's just like... Stomping around like a mad man

Wait is Kazuki an imposter yet? (Spoiler alert, probably)

Lol these idiots cleaning up Pink Street like Majima isn't just gonna whirlwind through it again

"Don't fall for hosts, they'll get you in the end" solid advice Kiryu but are u talking from experience or? Like iirc hosts weren't a thing when u went to jail my man.

What the fuck is this dramatic military shit what who is this man?!

FUCKIN MAJIMA IN THE "BATHOUSE"

Kiryu actually trusts Majima to not go after Haruka! And he doesn't! He's actually genuinely not a bad man he's just mad as a bag of cats

Oh that whole Majima and Kiryu not killing people thing is out the window in this movie omg

"Kiryu-chan, you're so cool" Majima says through a mouthful of blood after he's been knocked fuckin cold onto his ass. This man has it so bad I love it

THE MAJIMA PEEPING AROUNF THE HALLWAY SCENE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

Fuckin Majima just pelting Kiryu in the gut with baseballs omg this movie is wild

FUCKIN HIS BAT GOT STUCK IN THE WALL OMG

Dude these guys literally kick the shit out of each other it's vicious I love it

The level of choreographed homoerotic whump in this movie

He just straight up put his foot on his ass

WHAT THE FUCK MAJIMA GET UR DICK OUT OF HIS FACE

SOMEBODY SHOT MY MAJIMA!!!!!

KAZAMA SHOT MY MAJIMA!!!!!

"Fuck you murder dad you shot my boyfriend"

OH THE GANGS ALL HERE ITS DATE

Wait do I get to see Nishiki?!

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOES NISHIKI LOOK LIKR THST

WILL EVERYONR PLEASE STOP GETTING SHOT!!!!

The fuckin Staminan X and shit in the shop that's so rad, of course Kiryu is like I'll just chug some of this shit and go fuckin kill my bro I'm fine

THE TATTOO THAT WAS A FUCKIN RAD REVEAL

Oh hey it's Zombie Majima

Who allowed a military helicopter into fuckin Kamurocho airspace that's gotta be so illegal what the fuck

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE BANK ROBBERS I love how they're just laying on the floor with the staff resigned to their shit

Nishiki put the fish away you dumb fuck

Lol Kiryu literally doesn't give a fuck about the Tojo and here's Nishiki making it all about the Tojo like bro wise up Kiryu is done with your shit

Kiryu just stone cold dead until he gets some of that Staminan that's a full triple heat gauge baby the dragon is back omg this movie is the dumbest shit I love it

The fuckin slow mo! 2007 did not deserve this movie

Top ten ways to kill your kyoudai, number 12 will jack your dad!

Wait we're not gonna get Mr "Beautiful Eyes" here are we?

Akiyama come get ur cash!!!!

Moooooom, Millennium Tower blew up again!

Y'know Date is kinda hot...

Suzuki also has no business being that hot

Fuckin Majima's dumbass batting cages sign someone better save his ass I swear to fuck

Fuckin dumbass got shot and he thinks he's got the flu lol

WHY IS THE DOG IN MILENNIUM TOWER?!?! WHAT THE FUCK KIRYU?!

Oh shit there's Kiryu oops guess he's not to blame for the dog

Question, how the fuck they gonna get down from the tower?

Oh my god okay it's done I'll clean this up later (spoiler alert, he did not clean it up later)

#yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #rgg #like a dragon #yakuza spoilers #spoilers #like a dragon 2007 #LAD 2007 #yakuza movie #ratwatchesyakuza #ratpunk posts

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tigerdrop · 3 years ago

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in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog. he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)

#this is so far from finished b/c A) im a coward now and B) typing qith my left hand sucks so i dont wanna do it right now. Sorry #writin stuff

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hello-yue-here · 4 years ago

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fun lil mai headcanons cuz im bored:

in canon headcanons:

-100% trained with the yuyan archers w/suki

-she tries to teach tomtom how to wield knives, but he doesn’t wanna train in any weapons. he becomes a real education nut so mai offers to help him study and research instead. big sister mai.

-after the war she learns to open up more and while shes still naturally straight faced and quiet, it becomes easier to make her laugh and smile.

-she loves when she gets to visit the earth kingdom with the gaang to aee king kuei because she actually really likes bosco. they bonded.

-for a while she travels with aang and katara on appa because she grew up in a strict household and likes the idea of freedom. she becomes very close w katara and aang on these trips and considers them good friends whenever they come back.

-shes a fuckin beast at pai sho.

-im convinced that mai and sokka would be best friends. she thinks hes very funny and he is scared of her but in the best way. they are the pair of best friends that everyone is scared of because of how judgemental they are (and theyre always right. they may be judgemental but damn they arent wrong)

-very protective over tomtom even as he grows into a teenager and an adult. he hates it. whenever he complains she said “remember the time you were KIDNAPPED? because i do” “mai i was six months ol-“ “KIDNAPPED”

-she tries to teach all of her friends how to use the knives. Suki and Sokka are the only ones who are any good at it. Katara is also pretty decent, but she prefers to throw blades made of ice and Mai says it doesnt count because she could be bending to improve her aim. Katara would never admit it but its so obvious that thats why she uses ice blades. you cant fool anyone w that Katara sweetie.

modern au headcanons:

-florist with tattoos. i dont make the rules. this trope just fits her so well. this isn’t a hot take but i felt the need to say it anyways. its just a given at this point for modern au mai.

-has a secret love for super sweet starbucks drinks, but if you ask her she’ll lie and say its a black coffee cold brew (we all know its a french vanilla ice coffee with extra sugar mai dont lie)

-she would drive a used red punch buggie because ty lee thinks its cute even tho she can afford a better car

-i havent made relationship headcannons for any of my other girls but like,,, mailee yall. i had to make this modern au mailee. mailee all day in the modern au dont lie.

-big time taylor swift fan. hates john mayer. when her friends find out they are shocked. her entire spotify is classical music, rock bands, and taylor swift.

-criminal justice major who got her degree and opened up a flower shop instead. refuses to give legal advice to her friends. nick miller energy but she has her life put together. nick miller energy solely in the fact that she passed the bar exam and decided i hate this.

-doesnt know how to ride a bike. it fits.

headcannons that work either way:

-she bullies her friends. but if someone else bullies them. well we all know ab her knives. but shes so mean to her friends (they know its love tho.)

-she’s secretly a huge theatre nerd just like zuko and they bond over their favorite shows.

-she is incredible at math.

-she has many weird talents. like she can lick her elbow and crack her nose. like weird bodily talents yk? like shes the kind of person who can pop her thumb out of her socket at will just to freak people out.

-she may not seem like it but she is a very tactile person. she loves hugs and cuddling and holding hands. no over the top PDA but she is very touchy with her friends. if she doesnt know you tho dont touch her.

#mai #mailee #atla #avatar the last airbender #toph is next yall #i love mai #all day every day #mai gets too much hate sometimes #stan mai

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helpfulbug · 3 years ago

Note

okay i have one final request 🙈🙈 as i was typing up my thots on your yyh post, something about kuwabara reminded me of vegeta and then i was like VEGETA... OUR MEOW MEOW MAN.. so 🤪🤪 i hav returned to ask 👉🏼👈🏼 da blorbo meme for dragon ball? 🥺

ohh sarah i had to wait until i was in the right mind set for this one...and since the mania has hit on monday im ready now >:]

GLUP SHITTO ASK MEME

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

ofc its bulma!!! (i could also put vegeta here but as you said yourself he is THE meow meow so until later bestie) shes so epic i love that she and goku meet as kids and even as a young air head teen its established that shes extremely bright and innovative. despite being a genuis shes never the "quite nice girl" she always just speaks her mind big win for women

also every bulma outfit/style ever slaps so hard she never misses and never shows up w/o being dressed to nines even w a baby in her hand (my personal fav is the big hair red stripped dress of the trunks arc)

like all other women in db she got hardcore nerfed after becoming a mom but she got it a little better than chi chi bc at least she can have some plot relevance for technical stuff but still T_T can we get a working milf in here PLS the kids are off fighting after age 2 anyways

i will touch on this later more but my GOD the power the bulma vegeta marriage has in comedy alone one of the funniest things in anime ever i was just explaining it to the bestie earlier<3

also not to bring up a whole other timeline but FUTURE BULMA wahh the way she kept on going w a little kid when all of her friends and family were dead and build the time machine that saves the earth and puts her son into knowing if he manages to change the future this version of her will cease to exist or he will die in the past and she will never see her child again damned to survive the end of the world all by herself knowing she send her own son to his death TORIYAMA u didnt need to go this hard tears im my eyes just thinking about it wahhhh

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

i would have to say puar or chiaotzu.....i love that theyre just little guys and fiercly loyal to their besties they both also started out doing crimes and being evil for fun until they decided to be good actually so theyre quite similar in that way

tldr; theyre both shaped and i enjoy looking at them very much:)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

TEENAGE GOHAN hes soooo funny he saved the earth and then was just like ok time to return to school :) and then he has to use his superpowers but only in situations where he has no other choice and hes always in a hurry bc he cant be late for school! he wears bulmas lame ass superhero outfit w/o shame bc his sense of style is 10 years behind and calls himself the great saiya man so no one will recognize him as anything abnormal meanwhile he rides on a cloud to school every single day

on a more emotional note he had to help raise goten bc goku died before he was born....hes such a good older brother remember the episode where hes training and is like hey goten wanna throw rocks at me :} ? and goten almost kills him bc he doesnt know how the count down from 3 thing works anything wah wah wah wah siblings i very much enjoy thinking about^^

also he dabbed in the 90s before it was cool or uncool .... unbothered king....

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

shes an obscure fave in dbz only bc TORIYAMA FORGOT ABOUT HER but LAUNCH so epic so epic (i know shes supposed to be a funny take on "split personality" women but lol my city now) anyways she was so cool her design slaped and the ambush the enemy by sneezing and getting violent was always funny^^ also i thought she and tien were very sweet:) and i think there was a storyline where she wanted to get to the bottom of her condition and learn to be more controlled about it too? (iirc tho)

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

OK HERE WE GO u all already know who im talking about the original short king (3 foot troll doll hair included) male pattern baldness icon he was pondering the orbs bc it was cool he never sets foot outside w/o the channel boots and gloves ON prince of 3 subjects the original trophyhusband his name is literally vegtable what can i say that hasnt been said..... unironically one of my fav characters ever

also his cultural impact where would we be if vegeta hadnt felt it coming in the air that night...

lets not forget no trunks gender w/o vegeta either (thank you KING)

also gt only so this is a bit obscure but hes so WIPPED for his daugther (i think hes also making up for missing most of trunks childhood) the episode where she disses his cursed mustache and he IMMEDIATLY shaves and goes through the house waiting for ppl to compliment him on it OK WORSTIE

on a more serious note vegeta orgin story MY GOD. being fully aware when his planet was blown up that being taking in and working for the guy who did dude he was like 6 wah wah wah i know its been memed to death but the namek saga scene where hes deadly wounded and PLEADS goku to kill freeza for their people MAN.

also bonus german dub tidbit but SPONGEBOB VA VEGETA i think they did it bc he sounds similar to the french one? anyways we have this cursed combo intil after the first goku vs vegeta fight iirc

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

i would also say vegeta here but no doubles so im saying in a non joking way

master rochi DIE OLD FART

also toriyama for every shitty racists depiction in dbz wtf is mr popo bro

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

well superhell is p much canon in dbz and quite a lot of ppl have been there so idk

if its for gay reasons i would say trunks he is the fruitiest dbz character for SURE

OH also mr satan just bc i think it would be funny (i dont remember if he already made it in there sorry)

also i know hes already in there but freeza can spend eternity in that cocoon on that tree

#THANK YOU SARAH i have become unhinged once more #dbz #luna.txt #ask #ask game #i know its already over but feel free to send more these are sm fun :]

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daydreaming-jessi · 4 years ago

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Day 2: Date night

Now it wasn’t supposed to be anymore than a paragraph, it was supposed to be a lil thing but then it became more... dammit. Anyways have a lil... story?? I guess?? Under the cut?? Idk, it’s beetlelands week and I am a ROLLING in the fluff.

First it started with Beetlejuice jokingly making a bet with the Maitlands, if they couldn’t scare someone in the next week, they’d have to go on a date with him. They failed, of course, and Beej laughed and was like ‘lol can’t wait for that date babes ;P’.

Two days later and they ask when they’re going to have that date. Cue Beej having a moment of ‘the number you are trying to reach no longer exists’. Then a second of ‘holy SHIT THEY WANNA HAVE A DATE WITH ME???’ he then realized they probably thought he was being serious about the bet and just wanted to get it over with. Oh. Well. That’s... fine. He doesn’t care. Why would he? They’re just a sexy couple, nothing more. He’ll get over it. So he decides to at least have fun with this date.

Cue the getting ready montage. The Maitlands have actually dressed up and..., oh wow, they look so nice, maybe he should’ve done something more than just clean up his old suit...

Barbara: Uh, Lawrence, you ok there?

Beej: IM FINE WHATS WRONG WITH YOU??

Adam: um, you look nice.

Barb: yeah! did you really clean up for lil ol’ us? ;3

Beej: 0///<///0 y-you look great

Adam and Barb: Huh?

Beej: I SAID OOOH LOOK A RAKE.

Beej takes them up to the roof and they’re like ‘oh a night of stargazing?’ Then Sandy appears and Beej is like ‘your chariot awaits, >;P’ and then... Barb and Adam are excited?? They like... can’t wait for this?? Um??? Beej opts to hold onto his long decayed sanity and ignore this, telling the couple to hold on. They proceed to hold onto him. Fuck. Beej directs Sandy to GO ALREADY DAMMIT. And off into space they go. Barb and Adam are ecstatic. ‘OH. MY. LORD WE ARE IN. SPACE.’ It’s really cute... Sandy weaves through asteroids and comets, tunneling through nebulas and orbiting moons, and Adam’s arms are around Beej’s waist while Barb holds onto Adam, and oh no Adam’s grip tightened, shitshitshit-

They finally reach their destination: Saturn! Home of sandworms! Home sweet home for Sandy! She leaves them on an asteroid making up saturn’s belt so they can safely observe saturn’s storms. Beej is like, Yup so this is it. Pretty funny, huh, I took you on a date to Saturn! Except, they love it. They think it’s beautiful. They’re one of the few humans that will probably ever see Saturn so close with their own eyes. They can actually see the sandworms flashing through the gray yellow winds whipping past them, making nests on the nearby moons, and just chilling out in the few rays of sun that manage to reach this far out.

It’s perfect. A bit chilly though, like, wow theyre dead and all, but space is cold. Way colder than expected. Well shit, now they’re shivering. Beej feels fine, but now he feels bad for the two, and they’ve been so nice about this date considering they probably never wanted to go on it in the first place... Beej heaves a sigh and takes off his jacket, and somehow he now has two jackets that he drapes over Adam and Barbara’s shoulders. ‘But you’ll be cold!’ They argue. He tries to say he can’t feel it, but then Barbara comes up with the brilliant idea that they can share and she throws an arm around Beej, and Adam does the same and now they’re holding him. Oh. Oh fuck.

Adam’s making dumb space puns, Barbara is pointing out the amazing clouds rushing before them, and Beej just knows Sandy is laughing at him somewhere, and... this is nice... this is really, really nice... this is like, a real actual date. He’s... he’s on a date, like, for the first time ever.

Beej: I.... I like this a lot. Would’ve been better if you two were actually interested in a date, but still. Thanks uh, for pitying me I guess.

Barb and Adam: what.

Beej: what?

Adam: Lawrence do you seriously think we’re not interested in this?

Barbara: we literally accepted your dumb bet so we could finally do something like this.

Adam: we asked you when this was going to happen.

Barbara: we dressed up for it too! And you know I’m a little hurt that you haven’t said anything :(

Adam: yeah, I spent all day trying to get the cobwebs off this shirt :(((

Beej: .... did you guys really think I said oooh look a rake.

Barbara: it doesn’t count if you try to take it back. >:1

Beej, seeing that this is for real, is not sure what to do, but fuck, he’s gotta do something. He sweeps them both off their feet (double arms babeeey) and is like ‘you both are literally so gorgeous that I can’t look at anything but you.’

A couple of asteroids collide nearby in a shower of fire and rocks, leaving the three in an breathtaking moment. Tensions rise, its the perfect moment for a... Sandy to come over whining because she wants to go home now. Cockblocked by a man eating space worm....

They head home. Beej is bummed because no kisses for him, but then- oh. The Maitlands are both kissing his cheeks. “Thanks for the wonderful date.” “Maybe next time you’ll actually ask?” And the couple head inside. Beej is so overwhelmed he doesn’t even notice that they kept his jacket.

#jessi doodles #beetlejuice #beetlejuice the broadway musical #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice the musical #beetlelands #goldenbeetle #beetlelandsweek2020 #adam maitland #barbara maitland #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #sandworms #big sandy #sandy the sandworm #space #digital art #digital fanart

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ssvgawara · 4 years ago

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Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma; Smh my head

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰💅💅

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Tendou: i accidentally lit a baby on fire

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Goshiki; Commit arson

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

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Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma: What a little pissbaby

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

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Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

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Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

20 notes · View notes

shakespeareismydad · 4 years ago

Text

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss*

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is,

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal

-GO SAM

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period.

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good

-jon is so pretty

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

#game of thrones #incorrect quotes #theon greyjoy #jon snow #S7 recap #jamie lannister #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #podrick payne #brianne of tarth #ser bronn #sansa stark #arya strak #daenerys stormborn #daenerys targaryen

16 notes · View notes

bnhaficsforthesoul · 5 years ago

Note

i really liked that one where eri has a crush on fem!child!reader!!!! can i ask for eri confessing to her crush with eri's family behind her and fem!child!reader likes her back too so she says yes and they just!! give eachother hugs and kisses and their family is just like "awww so cute!" SORRY IF ITS TOO DETAILED i really love your writing! -🎈 anon

Thank you~ I hope I answered this well lol

So it was another day where eri had gone to the park to play with her friend

Shinsou and aizawa came to train so hizashi came so that he could actually keep an eye on the girls

Theyre swinging together and holding hands while they do that and hizashi was sitting on the ledge behind them cause he helped push them

And then eri’s like “Guess what!” and when her crush looks at her eri does that cute kid thing where they whisper secrets and shes like “I like you… I like-like you.”

Hizashi of course hears this and almost screams cause that was adorable, and he throws a rock or something at aizawa cause he was really close by and frantically waves him over, so aizawa and shinsou come over just in time to hear her crush go “Really?! I like you too!!!”

Shinsou cracks up at this because wow his little sister is actually managing to get a girlfriend

Eri gets this huge smile on her face and the two just go back to swinging and talking but the boys behind them are like !!!

Hizashi still wants to scream but he doesnt wanna disturb their moment so he calms himself, and aizawa has a soft smile on his face from seeing eri so happy but he takes shinsou back to training soon after

But for the rest of the time at the park theyre being extra touchy and holding hands wherever they go and sharing kisses on the cheek and she even gives Eri a flower at some point

And of course hizashi took pictures of all of this, wanting to capture this adorable moment in history

Eri’s very happy about her new girlfriend too, like months later she’s like “can my girlfriend come over?” just cause she likes saying it instead of your name

Shinsou’s upset that he can’t tease her by calling them girlfriends anymore tho

Eri and her gf planning their wedding how cuteee

#eri headcanons #eri imagine #bnha eri #eri #bnha #mha

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peg-legz4 · 5 years ago

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peggy's klance fic rec :)

this is my first fic rec and i know its really sloppy but one of my friends said she wanted it do I an forced to post it after procrastinating finishing it for a month. enjoy!

Best Friends to Lovers

Hearts Don't Break Around Here - klancekorner

AHHHHH okay okay okay this is the first klance fic i ever read and it set the bar soooo high. basically keith and lance have been bestfriends since foreverrr and it jumps between flashbacks and present day where keith is realizing hes just been In love with lance for like the whole time they've known each other and lance calls him snickers and its s l o w b u r n bc they're both oblivious idiots but theyre also pining and aghhghhh AND THE WAY THEY START TO REALIZE THEIR OWN FEEELINGS IS! IM- it's super cute pls read!!!

with love - allinadayswork - 8,888 AHHHGGGGGGGs high school au! this is so cute they're both so smitten basically they're best friends but lance is also keiths secret admirer and ahhhhh!!!!!! so cute pls read i beg of you + valentines day and overprotective shiro!!!!

Your Smile Makes Me Awkward - Lancelee (ashleeforreal) - 8,791

another best friends to lovers (hehe) lance gets his braces taken off and keith is in a gay panic because lance looks hot and he doesnt know what to do and theres miscommunication but its all good in the end this was so cute

One Heart Missing - starlightment - 24021 HSWOQSJKNQJNIU BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS AU IM A SUCKER FOR THESEEE they’re in college and keith finds out he loves lance nd then they have a fwb thing going on and ppor keith but also poor lance for reasons i can’t disclose anD THE REOCCURRING THEME WITH THE ICE SKATING ITS SO CUTE AND DEHQIJOjqsk please just read it oh my god

Soulmate AU

between two points - Alltheroads - 20,589 red string of fate au!!!!!!! keith is one of the few people in the world who can actually see the strings though, and lance seems not to have a string, just like keith. its them falling for eachother and keith teaching him how to repair a motorcycle and 50′s themed diners its amazingggg

Tell Me It’s My Name Written In Your Skin - Ivnars - 15,636 soulmate au where the name of your soulmate appears on your wrist once you fall in love with them (i think?) and lance thinks his is unrequited and of course he also has a martyr complex and is willing to die for the team and almost does and then omgomg i just its so great pls read

Bend It Like Soulmates - Reader115 - 23,998 HHHHHHHHhh SOCCER SOULMAtE AU AND THEYRE SO GOOD TOGETHER AND OMGOMGOMG SO MUCH PINING AND TENSION AND IT SJUST SO HAPPY AND AMAZING IT HAS THEM BEING THE FAMOUS SOCCER SOULMATE COUPLE PLEASE READ READ READ YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOCCER

there, nestled against his pulse - hiuthyn SHAOAMALAL ITS A SOULMATE AU I LOVE THESE HJDJSJSJSS AND ITS CANONVERSE (im pretty sure this was a one shot first and then I came back and it was a multi chapter fic and I read and it was like 1000× more amazing ajsjska) this was one of the very first klance fics i read and it’s definitely the first one that made me like gasp and scram cause oh my god,. okay basically the first and last words your soulmate says show up on your wrists and keith hides his wrists because he thinks he k words his soulmate and there’s miscommunication aND KEITH’S BACKSTORY AND IT GIVES LANCE SO MUCH DEPTH??????? and it has a really happy ending and its slowburn and angsty and pining and i’m a sucker for all those things which made this amazing!!!!!!!

College AU

i just wanna be (with you) - aknightley - 8,020 COLLEGE ROOMMATES AU LETS GOOOOOOOO there’s a lot of tension and pining and they give eachother gifts all the time i’m sOFT pls pls pls read

reasons why keith is the worst - MellodramaticLawliet - 5517 lance and keith are roommates and to cope with his hate for keith, he starts a list of why he hates keith and it just turns into a journal abt keith and lance is so oblivious and there’s also fencing tournaments which is cool hadjalkj read ittt

You Should Date Me - petalloso ahhhh lance and Keith are both freshman in college and they have little adventures and it's just super cute and fluffy ajskkasna

Canonverse

The Art of Secret Telling - jilliancares - 4,880 so to form another coalition, voltron has to form another coalition and lance has, 1, never kissed anybody and 2, has a crush on keith hehehe

a culmination of things - viscrael ahhh it's super cute and short and basically jumps around in time and they're just in looovee

instincts - godsensei lance n keith are getting their groove on when red mistakes Keith's pleasure for distress and comes crashing through the wall ajsksksmsna

i can’t help but want - aknightley lance and Keith's lions get stranded on different islands but their comms get through so they're just talking and bonding and falling in love while they get their lions fixed akssjal so cute pls read!!!!

never saw you coming - dimpleforyourthoughts HOLY HELL OG MY FREAKINGNS JUEUSS I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH IVE READ IT LIKE 20 TIMES AND EACH TIME IM BLOWN AWAY BY HOW BEAUTIFULL ITS WRITTEND AKAK its canonverse and goes in depth with my boys and lance has a martyr complex and keitHS BACKSTORY AND LE PETIT PRINCE AND THEY WOULD DIE FOR EACHOTHER AND ALMOST DO AND IT MADE ME CRY AND GINGER THE TABBY CAT PLEASE READ OH MY GOD ITS SLOWBURN AND THEYRE BOTH S O SMITTEN AHHHH

Terminal Velocity - speaks tHE ANGSTTTTT. i'm like, a whore for angst. but basically. voltron gets captured by these alien empaths and this guy feeds off of other people's pain(???) and so he tortures lance and makes keith watch and oh my. this is so good I felt so many emotions pls read.

Keith McClain - orphan_account 🥺🥺 keith sees visions of him and lance in the future on the space whale and its v soft

In English, Please - orphan_account this is a fic I'll always remember omg so lance flirts with Keith in spanish but pretends they're insults and he thinks Keith wont find out (he does)

how not to be a cat: 101 - jilliancares- 8,113 kEITH KEEPS accidENTALLY TURNINg INTo A CAT aND THEN ENDS UP CUDDLING WITH LANCE I”M SOFTTT THIS FIC BROKE ME WITH ITS CUTENESS HAHIUSJK

moderation - Katranga - 21, 613 HSJHKJAJOIHQQ keith gets bitten by a love bug and sees lance first and then allura gets bitten and sees hunk so he just tries to act how allura acts so it doesnt give away his actual crush on lance hsjksskjs

Public Displays of Affection by hattricks lance n Keith are undercover on a mission and they see guards and they hide by making out ajkaka

the waiting game - they frick frack a lot but basically Keith and lance make eachother wait through a week without sex and only teasing sksjakak

To Bite, Or Not To Bite - jilliancares - 11,433 lance gets bitten by a vampire!!!! and he turns into one!!!! need i say more? and the way it like happens AND THEN THE WAY HIM AND KEITH DECIDE TO OMG IM THIS IS GRESR

feelings on fire i guess i'm a bad liar - melancholymango - 22679 a witch curses lance and now he can’t lie to Keith or anything having to do with Keith and its really funny i cackled sjhkah

The Loverboy Trials - PM_Writes - 20,838 THSIEIHWHIJIHJI I LOVED THIS ONE AHHHHHHH.basicaly the aliens think keith is their god of fertility and stuff so they’re like oh we need to do a ritual thing where people fight for his virginity and voltron is like oh fuck no so then lance has to compete to save keith i can’t get over it it’s- i’m softttt

Sorry, Who Are You? - sjskakaja lance and keith were childhood best friends but keith is bad with faces so when they meet at the garrison lance is really salty and keiths backstoey and the way he find out i'm- its great trust me pls

it might not be that bad - Katranga - 16,416 omg i adore this fic okay so. basically. keith doesnt know the difference between jealously and attraction because of him clinging to the closet in middle school and now hes trying to find out why his and Lance's definitions of jealousy differ and Keith's bad at feelings please readd

Everything Else

read all about it - starlightment AHAKAKAL HIGH SCHOOL AU!!!! i just read this one and it’s great!!!1 Lance is on the newspaper and writes and articles professing his love for Keith, the star quarterback that everyones in love with. it's such a good read and oh my goshh this made me throw my phone and squeal out of freaking excitement i love it so much 🥺 idk how but this made me feel as if i was living out senior year through this fic??? it was just that amazing

it's you that's haunting me - perfchan

suuuper cute youtuber au where Keith hunts gosts and enlists lance as his cameraman. (includes a haunted mansion ballroom dance scene) and its just great oml oml i love it so so much!!! there’s also like 4 sequels so that makes it even better!!!1

Dirty Laundry -

this is a staple and if you havent read it you're either new to the fandom or living under a rock but its a fake dating au where keith spends winter break with Lance's family and they bondddd and its great!!!!

alright i just realized the author took it down so uhhhh

adaigo by shipstiel

lance moves in next to keith and Keith likes to play piano at the ungodly hours of the might where lance is just trying to sleep. this ones so cute!!!!!!

eyes to you wide with wonder - aknightley

an office au where Keith is shiro's secretary and lance always comes up to his desk to annoy him and they mask their affection under playful banter and lance also ends up being Keith's knight in shining armor ajskssnns it's so great!!!!

okay i know that you are not my type (still i fall) - quidhitch

ajoasbak nyma cuffs lance to a bed during a party and then leaves but then the bed turns out to be none other than....Keith's bed!! so they like talk while Lance is only in boxers and cuffed to Keith's bed

you never stood a chance - kagshina

it's a snapchat fic!!!!!!! lance accidentally snaps keith a shirtless pic and then Keith snaps back and it's just 😳😳 the whole time it's great omg

Cold Hearts Looking for Love - swang_is_trying typical enemies to lovers where lance is the son of a rich businessman and visits the orphanage that Keith hangs around to visit Pidge??? but its fricking jam packed with them thirsting over each other sshsksksm (i must warn you, its incomplete)

Of Don Juan And Elvis - shipstiel

Keith is a starbucks barista and lance always comes in and orders with really weird names ehehe

And Now Presenting: Rielle and the Forbidden Meringue

tsbkakaK this ones so cute keith is a galra guard and hes guarding a garden (ooh alliteration) and climbs a tree and then falls into lance's arms (who's an altean guard) and its really cute sjkssahajaj

how to not keep a diary, or, lance’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad semester - glitterfreezing sjskasla they're sophmores in college and roommates pidge forces lance to keep a diary and he just ends up ranting about keith but he’ oblivious to his won feelings heheh

Lance and the Search For Keith's Boyfriend - haikquu - 9497

lance is jealous bc everyone keeps talking abt keith’s boyfriends but he doesnt know who he is (it’s him)

bus buddies - WhatTheBodyGraspsNot - 8033

lance notices Keith doesnt have a bus buddy on a 3-day-trip to save the bees so he goes and sits with him and it's so cuteeeee

got got got it bad - kairiolette - 10,377 so keith is bad at feelings so he asks what its like to have a crush on someone and then basically tells lance that he has a crush on him and lance just casually brings it up

Only Fools Rush In (but I Can't Help Falling in Love with You) - Fangirl_on_fire_ - 13,524

OMGOMGOMG LANCE IS A MAFIA .BOSS AND IT STARTS OFF WITH A ONE NIGHT STAND AND THEN THEY AHAAKSJSKSM ITS GREAT PLS READ

The Bitter And The Sweetness - The_Real_Karaage - 66337

its a klance youtuber au!!!!!! I love these!!!!! okay so keith makes like conspiracy theory videos and knife throwing ones and lance does like vlogs or storytimes with pidge and they also do dance and then they meet irl but lance doesn't know keith is the YouTube guy cause he hides his identity and omgomggg also Keith is from Texas so he acts like a stereotypical emo cowboy and as a Texan I find it extremely funny

nobody puts baby in a corner - orphan_account - 3,950

its like the 23rd century and aliens are on earth and keith is a royal galra and lance goes clubbing and and they meet and dance and wOOHOO

okay thats all for now but i'm probably gonna make a part 2 cause i have a whole bunch saved to my notes app lmao have fun reading y'all

#klance #klance fics #klance fic rec #voltron fic #keith kogane #lance mcclain #keith kogane x lance mcclain

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splendidshinobi · 4 years ago

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FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful

ill have to google

serial killer who only targets women? it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!!

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

alphonse continues to be a precious angel

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus???

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15,

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!

#carol watches fma03 #fullmetal alchemist #carol's remaining brain cells #this is fun for me and no one else #whatever i dont care about anyone else on this website anyway #this is my stupid hole

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1eos · 5 years ago

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@luvusoo wanted a roast of jooheon! nd uhhhhhhh i have decided i no longer trust this man

AGAIN WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MONSTA X ND SCORPIO PLACEMENTS?????? I MAY NEED TO LOOK AT A GROUP CHART BC THIS IS WHY THEYRE SO UNLUCKY THERE’S SO MUCH SCORPIO HERE

im shocked at how ugly jooheon’s chart is.......like WHAT IS THIS. ok ok let’s be systematic abt this. firstable that libra sun.......L. libra men are beautiful nd charming but are mega attention whores!!!! nd for jooheon to have a libra sun AND moon??? we have heard the stories of mx calling jooheon sulky nd this is why

omg he has so many attention seeking placements....the leo mars.... mars is aggression nd drive nd i was shocked to find out that jooheon can get an attitude when the boys dont wanna hang w him or if they dont pay attention to him but looking at his chart i get it. I GET IT!!!!!!

leo mars have short tempers nd most of the time its just bc they have big egos LMAO. its not as bad as like a sagittarius but leo mars ppl r annoying (im one) bc u can make them bad just by breathing funny. like 😐 if monsta x arent complimenting jooheon he like wakes them up in the middle of the night w a knife at their throats LMAO

but curiously~~~ he has a scorpio venus which, while i hadnt thought of that, it makes SO MUCH SENSE. scorpio venus ppl are possessive nd a bit dramatic aagagagag. so like? on the outside he’s sugary sweet gumdrop faced cute dude but inside he has a temper nd wants attention when he wants it nd is willing to throw the dorms into chaos to get it!

nd he has a venus/pluto conjunction so jooheons like mega intense nd crazy in relationships look at this interpretation (last part redacted for reasons)

i dont think jooheon is kihyun crazy w evil intentions or anything but i do think he’s a lot more stubborn nd sulky than ppl assume by his appearance. he has no mutable placements nd mutable placements make u a bit more likely to go with the flow! so to have like NO mutable placements makes jooheon a lot more hard headed 😭😭😭😭 oh ik jooheon’s a pain in the ass to deal with sometimes oh ik it

but this also explains why he loves shownu so much! shownu is very lenient but dependable, trustworthy nd he doesnt get angry so whenever jooheon’s crazy ass temper flares up he can always count on shownu to be a rock u know? thats cute to me. still.........im keeping my good eye on him 👁👁

#kpop roasting #monsta x

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hansols-yoda-boxers · 5 years ago

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Somewhere In Translation

@sneaky-ash: Im not sure if youre taking requests but im not fussed about when/if you write this; its just youre one of the best smut writers ive found in a while and lowkey a seungkwan enthusiast. Anyway ive been thinking about bumping into svt whilst theyre like, filming a surprise or smth in your local area. They ask you for directions and you end up hanging out with them and SK get flirtier the more time you spend with them. Eventually you guys end up getting together in his room all the while he’s tryna communicate in english as much as he can, and you try your best with extremely limited korean. Idk i feel like the language thing is something thats really ignored in fics and i kinda wanna see smth more realistic. Anyway!! Ive droned on a bit but if you find this ask kinda boring then dont mention it :(: but i wanted to get this out there since i thought youd be the best write for this. If you cant tell, i love your work! Im not extremely active but ill support you x

Seungkwan x Female Reader

Word Count: 2553

Contents: fingering, oral (female receiving), some nipple play, unprotected sex

Note: I can’t seem to tag you. Also as expected this took a while but it’s here now. I’m back from my mini hiatus and I love u all.

You had to do a double, then a triple take to process what you were seeing. You really thought you might be going crazy. There was no way that actual members of an actual kpop group were in your town. It was a big enough city to warrant them visiting but you hadn’t heard about any concerts.

And what were the odds that they would stop by your favourite café?

You were almost thankful that Seventeen wasn’t your favourite group or you might be screaming right now. You liked their music and knew them well enough to know their names and faces and a little bit about each of them but you didn’t know every single detail about them and you had failed miserably when you tried their name chants. You looked between Seungkwan, Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Hansol thinking that they were much taller than you expected, until one of them caught your eye.

You would have felt silly that Seungkwan caught you staring at him, but they had people staring at them all the time. It couldn’t be that much of a surprise, could it? You smiled at him warmly and confidently despite feeling a little shaky. You swore he checked you out quickly before returning the smile. You took your drink and made your way to a table, catching him each time he threw glances at you. Hansol caught the two of you looking at each other and chuckled before saying something to Seungkwan that you were too far away to hear. He blushed and looked between you and Hansol before his drink was ready. He took it and Hansol nudged him and motioned to you.

You’d decided that you were going to go with this. Maybe it was all a crazy dream but either way you were going to enjoy it while it lasted. Seungkwan made his way across the café to you while throwing glances back at the others nervously. He stopped behind the chair across from you.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly.

“Hello,” you hummed, grinning. “Did you want to sit down?”

“Ah, yes,” he blushed and took a seat. You waited as he thought through what he wanted to say. “You’re… very pretty.”

You couldn’t help he blush that spread across your face. You’d decided this had to be a dream. There was no way this could be real. On the slight chance it was though, and you weren’t about to wake up, you had to enjoy it.

“Thank you, you’re very handsome, but you probably already know that,” you said. You watched as he processed what you were saying and a shy smile spread across his face. “What are you all doing here anyway?” you asked, motioning to the other three who were sitting a little ways away, sipping their drinks, and chatting while shooting glances at the two of you.

“We have… um, schedule. We are…” he looked back at the others who all looks down at their drinks, chuckling. “lost.”

“I know the area really well if you need a hand,” you smiled.

He blushed and nodded, throwing his friends what almost looked like a dirty look before getting up. You followed him to their table where the other three greeted you warmly. Hansol told you where they were looking to go and you smiled, assuring them it was nearby and that you could take them there yourself to make sure they didn’t get lost.

You did your best to talk to all of them as you walked but it was easiest to hold a conversation with Hansol. Soonyoung and Seokmin walked behind you and chatted with each other while Seungkwan tried to keep up with you and Hansol. You did your best not to speak too quickly and you noticed Hansol giving him lots of chances to talk.

You led them to the nearby arcade they were heading to. It very much seemed to be the right place as there was a camera crew there and someone who might have been their manager who looked relieved to see them. You watched as they made their way into the arcade and turned to leave but someone grabbed your hand. You turned back to see Seungkwan smiling nervously.

“Will you, uh… wait until we are done?”

You smiled and nodded. He sighed happily before going to join the other members. You watched from the corner of the arcade as they filmed. They all seemed to turn on their energy and turn up their smile for the camera. Still them, but like turning up a dimmer switch, they were a brighter, more glamourous version of themselves. Whenever the camera was pointed elsewhere Seungkwan shot you a smile. It was the same smile he used on stage, it was dazzling and took your breath away and seemed like such a stark contrast to his shy grin from earlier.

You realized why he had asked you to stick around when they wrapped up filming sooner than you expected. You leaned against the wall and watched as the four of them approached you.

“You’re done so soon,” you said brightly.

They all nodded and Soonyoung pushed Seungkwan closer.

“We are going, uh,” he gave Hansol a panicked look. Hansol whispered something to him. “to the mall. Do you want… to, come?”

You grinned. “Yeah sure, do you know the way from here?”

“Ye-” he started but Soonyoung shoved him. “Uh, no.”

You offered your hand. “Let me show you then.” Seungkwan blushed as he took your hand and walked with you. The others chuckled and followed along behind.

“It was fun watching you film,” you said. “You’re so interesting, and I think the video will turn out well.”

You swore you saw a smirk cross his face and he followed along the crowded sidewalk of the market. “You seemed… happy?” he thought for a second. “…interested?” He spoke quickly to Hansol who laughed.

“He wants to say you seemed very charmed by him.”

You felt the blush creep up your cheeks and he chuckled and squeezed your hand. “Ah, you’re so cute.”

You wandered through the mall with them. Eventually Soonyoung and Seokmin wandered off to look at something, pulling Hansol with him to translate. You felt more nervous being alone with Seungkwan but as you were finding out he understood English well. Speaking was another matter but considering your Korean consisted of phrases that you had picked up from kpop you thought he was doing pretty well. You wandered through a few clothing stores where he insisted you try on a few things and almost made off to pay for them before you caught him and pulled out your own card. He did buy you a tea which you sipped on as you wandered back to the front of the mall. You had a feeling your day with him might be coming to an end.

He seemed nervous as he considered his words carefully. “Do you want to… hang out?”

You smiled, way too happy that this was happening. “Of course!”

He grinned at you as he ushered you towards a car. You got in with him and tried to take in the conversation between him and their driver that was ultimately lost on you. The driver took a sigh and drove and you noticed the way Seungkwan kept glancing at you. His hand found yours but after checking to see that the driver wasn’t watching he slid it over further to rest his hand on your thigh. He rubbed his thumb in slow circles on your thigh before you leaned over.

“What did you mean exactly by ‘hang out’?” you asked, not being able to help the way a grin tugged at your lips.

In response he kissed you, quickly but passionately, his hand squeezing your thigh.

He pulled away and chuckled at the slightly dazed look on your face. “Something like that.”

“Okay,” your said breathily, now very aware of his hand which had moved a little higher on your thigh.

He pretty quickly pulled you out of the car once you got to what you assumed was their hotel. He moved quickly through the lobby and to the elevator. You noticed the way he was biting his lip while he glanced at you and it made you wish there was no one else in the elevator. He pulled you out just as quickly and down the hall to his room. The second he had the door closed behind him his hands were on your waist and his lips found yours. He kissed you deeply and backed you into the wall as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. When he broke away from the kiss you were breathless and dazed.

“I have… wanted to do that all day,” he said.

“God I’m so glad you did,” you replied as your eyes focused on his plush lips before you pulled him back in for another kiss. You let your hands wander down his shoulders to his arms as he pressed closer to you and rocked his hips against yours. He let out a soft sigh into your kiss and said something quietly in Korean that you didn’t understand.

“Hmm?” you hummed against his lips.

He pulled back enough to look at you and blushed. “Don’t worry about it,” he blushed. You opened your mouth to protest but a small whine came out instead as his lips started to suck on your neck. His hands slid down your body and he grabbed your ass, pressing you closer. You could feel his bulge through his pants and it only served to turn you on more. He rolled his hips against yours moaning against your skin. He painted your neck in purple before kissing you deeply again as you started to pull him towards the bed.

You back against the bed and barely laid down before he crawled on top of you, ridding himself of his shirt before kissing you again. He pulled your shirt off between kisses and started to kiss down your body. He kissed the tops of your breasts and lifted you enough to get you out of your bra. He mumbled something against your skin before he sucked one of your nipples between his plush lips and you blushed as your ears registered the Korean word for beautiful. His hands slid down to waist and started to undo your belt. He helped you out of your jeans before settling between your legs. His hands trailed up your torso and he let his fingers trail over your nipples while he kissed further down your body. He peeked up at you as he went and took in the way you were arching into his touch.

He kissed along your inner thighs until you were squirming and giving him a pleading look.

“Seungkwan, please,” you whined.

He grinned up at you as he pulled your panties down slowly. He kissed slowly along your inner thighs until he was kissing right next to your core. You tried to roll your hips against him but he just chuckled and pulled away.

“Patience,” he hummed and you whined as he went back to teasing you, bringing a finger to tease your entrance. You let out a small whimper and tried to hold still, need him to move on from his teasing. You gave him the sweetest, most desperate look you could muster and he let out a whine before finally bringing his lips where you needed them. You let out a loud moan and bucked your hips his face and he held them down as he traced your clit with his tongue and pushed one finger into you.

He pumped his finger slowly, and soon added another as he moved his tongue too slow. You moaned for him to go faster and searched your memory to see if you knew the right word in Korean but one look at his smug grin and you realized he was doing it on purpose. You groaned and threw your head back, gripping the sheets as he slowly picked up the pace with his fingers. You cried out when he passed over a particularly good spot and he started to rub back and forth over it faster before sucking your clit between his lips.

You moaned out his name as you came on his fingers, bucking your hips against his hand and face. You whimpered as he pulled his fingers put slowly and moved to lap up your release until you were pulling away. He mumbled something against you and you hmm.

He looked up at you a blushed. “You, taste good,” he hummed, blushing slightly.

You smiled as you pulled him up towards you. You kissed him deeply and started to fumble with his belt. As soon as it was undone you helped him push down his pants and he kicked them off, still kissing you passionately.

He let out a loud moan as you took his cock into your hand and started to stroke him. He quickly stopped your hand and broke away from the kiss, scrambling for the words.

“I… if you… I might… um,” he was blushing deeply and grinned as you took in what he was saying.

“You might cum too fast?” you asked, pumping his cock again.

“Y-Yes,” he gasped up, trying to stop your hand again. “I want to…” he trailed off unsure of the words.

You kissed him sweetly before pulling him closer to you. “Me too.”

He started to grind his cock against you and you both let out moans at the feeling. You helped him to align himself with you before he slowly pushed in. He let his head fall into the crook of your neck and moaned as you gripped him tightly. He stayed still for a few moments as you both adjusted until you started to whine and move your hips. He pulled back and thrust into you slow and deep.

He worked up his pace slowly, leaving more kisses and love bites along your neck and collarbone. Your toes curled at the feeling as you moved your hips in time with him and started to moan out his name.

You could feel your second orgasm building and from the sound of his moans he was getting close too. “Fuck, Seungkwan, c-can you, your hand-”

You felt his grin against your skin as his fingers found your clit and started to rub it in quick, even circles.

You cried out as you came on his cock, holding him close through your orgasm. His thrusts grew sloppier and the way you were clenching around him had him cumming quickly after. You pulled him in to kiss you as he roll his hips into, riding out his own orgasm.

You were both panting as he rolled off of you and you started to come down from your highs.

“That was fantastic,” you breathed.

He smiled at you. “Yeah.” He tugged you little closer and you cuddled up to him. You had no idea if this would lead somewhere or if this meant anything at all but you could at least enjoy the cuddles while they lasted.

You decided that if that was a dream, it was the best dream you’d ever had.

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen one shot #svt #svt imagines #svt smut #seungkwan #seungkwan imagines #seungkwan smut #boo seungkwan #i had some fun with this but it was a challenge to do it well #sneaky-ash #i hope you like it #also i tried to post this once already and if it doesn't work imma scream

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