#theyre on a whole other level
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Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.
The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos
#the kings return to do WHAT?#oh my god they put him in a situation#last year he was solving fake puzzles and this year he is shooting hordes of zombies while trying to chokse#which gate that looks like all the other gates in all the other shooting hordes of zombies games#ooh whats my little phoenix wright up to?#begging to be drooled on by a giant cyclops with gianter boobs?#hell yeah you go little pheonix knight#endure or divorce! what will she pick! blond bimbo and boo monstersinc freeze to death in the cold water#my heart will go on#after their nasty dad ate all the food! the tragedy#oh heres another trailer with that same nasty dad! hes snorkling? where is my daccoon eyed woman WHAT THE FUC#SOMEONE POURED (POOP?) INTO HIS SNORKLE THATS SO TERRIBLE#theyre running away wherre is the bimbo oh its all frozen#everythign froze so fast and now nasty dad is in a winter coat and also changed his entire physique#now hes gathering logs now hes buikding a settlement#damn guess we know what happened after the divorce!#and thats how you know the winter log game is by the same company as (one of many) repair the house game#thry got nasty dad model#and he is GOING places#if yiu ever hear 'i finally found a game that is exactly what they show in the ads!' no you didnt#i would love to play the fat guy fighting a horse for the last drop of water#hes like me fr#but hes too busy building underground rooms with the hot chick who may or may not die#SPEAKING OF HOT CHICKS i love that game where you romance a level 10 babe#not a crook or informant thats her whole job description#level 10 babe#she cqn be romanced by picking her off the ground or by showing her money (which you dont have)#but the other guy does!#i wonder what halpens to her#oh good shes upgraded to mafia wife! good for her and she has some buns in the oven too she must be so happOH NO
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#deacon keller#arthur bennett#OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL#why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff.#SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING#AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK#BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!!#GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh.....#hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own.#god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs#i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too#SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved#idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke#n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw#that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here#i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY#POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH#OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH#i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that.#it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA#IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy.#anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!!#thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Geoffrey of Monmouth (Merlin), Mithian (Merlin), Elena (Merlin), Iseldir (Merlin) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, in a land where people are actually happy, Merlin (TV) Season/Series 04, think depressed arthur that we never got to see on the show but he’s actually happy in this case, Touch-Starved, Pining, Idiots in Love, they actually take idiots in love to another level, Boys Kissing, arranged marriage but not in the way u think i swear, Merlin Loves Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Loves Merlin (Merlin), he just doesn’t know it yet, Arthur Pendragon Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon is Bad at Feelings (Merlin), Understatement of the century, Implied Sexual Content, Your Honor They Love Each Other, Fluff, angst but not really??? it’s just arthur pining and being dumb, Happy Ending, also uther pendragon is dead, we cheered, Good Morgana (Merlin), Good Sibling Morgana (Merlin) Summary:
Arthur ignored the other. “Marry me.”
Merlin choked. “What?”
a story in which merlin and arthur (but mostly arthur) are idiots in love.
#i finally finished the fic#merlin fanfic#merlin fanfiction#bbc merlin#merlin fandom#merlin bbc#merlin#arthur pendragon#merthur#merlin and arthur#merlin x arthur#arthur and merlin#arthur x merlin#they are soulmates#they are so silly#i love them#idiots in love#but to a whole other level#arthur loves merlin#merlin loves arthur#i only see merthur in the most deeply existential gut wrenching romantic way possible#theyre gay your honor#ao3#ao3 fanfic
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Au where Stan gets sucked into the portal this, au where 30 year old Ford has to take care of 10 year old Stan that, where's the au where they both get sucked into the portal????
#youre telling me you dont want to see a Bros Vs The Multiverse Au???#where they have to learn to stick together no matter what#like when they were kids#ford is so pissed because he thinks its stan's fault that theyre here#stan is freaked because hes Seen Some Shit but the nightmare realm is a whole nother level of Fucked Up Chaos#they hate each other but have to partner up to overcome greater evils in all the dimensions they go to and learn to be a family again#thats my vision anyway i have to go read a book for school now#gravity falls#gravity falls au#stanford pines#stan pines
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three healers
#pathologic#daniil dankovsky#artemy burakh#clara pathologic#my art#when theyre all unmistakably on the same side working against a common enemy but they can’t work together#and their solutions can’t exist alongside each other#so they must work against each other to the same end#or work with each other to opposite ends?#also none of them have free will in the matter because they’re being pitted against each other on so many levels#by the other characters and the directors and the powers that be and the writers and the PLAYERS#i was going to write a whole essay in the tags yknow for fun but actually most of my thoughts about these characters do not exist in words#sorry💔#imagine 14 pages of incomprehensible and nonexistent letters in 12 point times new roman and pathologic has an MLA citation at the end#oooops i wrote a billion tags for this post that is 3 portraits of expressionless video game characters! are yoy mad at me
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right so the conspiracy segment today was nothing new which is cool because I'm still hung up on the tour bus one. it's everything. it's so emotional because they were so deep in the closet but so bad at being in the closet but it's not their fault obviously and that's a whole heartbreaking thing. its hilarious because lying online is the funniest thing ever and it only gets funnier the less reason you have to do so. they didn't have to deny so hard because heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, I myself had people think I'm straight after literally coming out to them. but also they did have to because being in the closet while being Looked At is also one hell of a drug tbh. but also regardless I'm so glad for these moments in the "we're all older and chiller and gayer now so it's ok to look back with healed fondness at the freakouts" like do you guys get meeeeee
#titspoilers#dan and phil#phan#.kas#i mean the heteronormativity is a whole thing because yes straight people can be so oblivious its unfathomable#but to a large extent they were being looked at by queer people#queer people at varying levels of being closeted as well#which can make you both less or more oblivious i think#(whats the math on this)#but given that people still try to say theyre just buddies. i think the phrasing still applies#bruh i would love to study this whole thing#not to be parasocial but some of this is SO similar to like having a fellow closeted friend back in the day and youre both on the#other side of it now and you look back at those older times like wow that was something huh#“you know what i mean” i say as i spit incoherent nonsense
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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I lied I think it’s fun to draw animals sometimes
#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#team sonic#hey. still dont expect more sonic stuff okay. this is an exception#(I say as I immensely enjoy scribbling these animals)#man. Im mad how good these designs are tbh theyre so (clenches fists) theyre so! scribbleable!#hate that! dont like that dont like how much fun it is to draw them!#also I made amy spiky bc I want to and I can. and also shes a hedgehog#gods. thinking abt it sonic designs cater to me to such a disgusting level... the cartoon gloves... the big shapes.... the varied footwears#it's like psychonauts raz was so fuckign fun to draw. but here it's the whole cast#it's fucked up! it's entrapment!! I didn't consent to this!!!#next time they give any of the characters a big coat I'm sending sega a strongly worded letter. they cant do that to me#well. here it is anyway. genuinely these all took like an hour each I drew them as breaks inbetween work#(an hour for me is equivalent to other artists' fifteen minutes btw. I'm not fast at all I just don't know when to stop)#well. that done. back to work now#I am actually so excited abt the current one lol its just also gonna be a pain in the ass to coordinate#but I really wanna do well with it. go crazy go stupid baku!!#have a good night! a good pair of boots is worth the money but only if you can tie the strings together & wear it on ur neck in emergencies
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i swear to god sega must be choosing which 3d sonic games they wanna rerelease at random because none of their choices here make any sense when i said they should focus more on making the 3d games more accessible instead of re releasing the classic games a million times this isnt what i meant
#i mean the shadow parts of the trailer do have me interested now but im still confused about why they would do this at all#i said it all already but generations is a fairly recent game and the graphics still hold up well and its still somewhat accessible#its not in a situation where theres a bunch of stuff to change or its trapped on older consoles that barely anyone has these days#if generations was a super iconic game with a well loved story i would get it i guess but sonic generations is literally nothing story wise#there are so many other games that it would make more sense to bring back#also shadow??????? why is he the focus here he barely did anythign in generations#and generations whole gimmick is the classic and modern thing and you cant do that with shadow#whatever#like i said i am excited to see what theyre doing with the shadow levels actually im just confused you know
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September 21, 2023 - Suzuka, Japan Source: XPB Images Ltd / Alamy Stock Photo & DPPI Media / Alamy Stock Photo
#artists they are not#unless theyre on a whole other level than us#we need to collectively study and unpack the este and pierre heart#logan and alex was(p) here is idiotic genuis#if this was for anyone else but seb I can bet not all the drivers wouldve done this#f1#formula 1#2023#sv5#alex albon#valtteri bottas#zhou guanyu
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being this fluent in english kind of fucked me up because now i have this huge standard i set for myself when it comes to languages that im never gonna achieve again and it makes me feel disheartened and intimidated about start learning a new one
#like im probably never gonna achieve this level of fluency in any other language and thats ok#english is extremely over abundant onlyne theres whole WEBSITED (like this one) with millions of people where over 90% of users post#exclusively in english#all the most famous tv shows and songs and books and youtubers etc are in english#obviously other languages also have all those things but theyre not gonna be as easy to just come by#and youre not gonna be swimming in it. they arent gonna be the norm like english is#so yeah ill probably never gonna be as fluent in any other languages and i need to let that expectation go or ill just be scared forever and#never learn anything else#anyways. i kinda want to start officially learning spanish#as a brazilian thats kind of just whatever like its not hard or Different™ by any means but its gonna be more useful in my day to day life#than something like idk french of mandarin (which i would also like to learn)
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the way dain refers to them as the 5 sinners of khaneri'ah even though in almost religion or religious concept to include the idea of sin it's an established point that all humans are inherently 'sinners' due to being human im going insane
#youguys get me right. you get me. right.#HAWUHWAUHUWAHUH#yeah these mfs are evil. but we've seen more insane shit from other characters and gods and whatever and theyre never referred to as#'sinners'#SORRY!!!!!!! IMINSNAE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sin is treated as something everyone has and i think its insane that nobody's talking about this. Please talk about this#if anything. the personal accounts of these mfs (aside from dain) have been#exceedingly chill#skirk treats surtalogi like a loser dad.#rhine is described as cold. yes!! mean. yes!!! but is it a sin to just. not be the best person??#we've met people with FAR worse attitudes#idk guys but i think even just ei deserves this level of hate#she spent 500 years stripping her people of their ambitions by taking their visions#which also has. really horrendous psychological effects like oh mygod#and plus. the whole idea of isolating them from all of the rest of teyvat??#do you know how FUCKED that is#but we've never openly acknowledged that!!! no!!!!!!!!!!!#THE POINT IS THAT THEY'RE SINNERS BECAUSE THEY'RE HUMANS. THEY AREN'T INHERENTLY WORSE THAN HALF THE OTHER#CHARACTERS IN THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're horrible yes. but there are (miraculously) worse people#crepe rants#cataclysmic quintuple#rhine
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The Slope by @megatron-fucks provides a great scene where Pharma gets to blow up on Ratchet about how he lost everything good in his life and faced a fate worse than death so Ratchet has no right to judge him.
But you know what else I really want to see and might write myself?
I want a post-Delphi scene where Pharma gets to verbally rip Ratchet apart about how he disowned Pharma and is acting as if the 'new Pharma' is a completely different person, but in reality Ratchet is just desperate to convince himself that Pharma was always a bad apple and the "best friend" Ratchet knew was either a lie or a person who's "died." Basically Pharma getting to lambast Ratchet about how 'the person he used to be' isn't some separate entity, that the old Pharma LITERALLY IS HIM and it's Ratchet who's a piece of shit for being unable to reconcile that Pharma could be his former best friend and also the monster he ended up becoming.
Mostly in regards to the aspect of canon where despite being former best friends, Ratchet made basically zero efforts to have any sympathy for Pharma or extend help/mercy to him and mostly used their former friendship to prey on Pharma's insecurities to manipulate him into doing what he wanted.
Of course it's a narration by Pharma so it might not be 100% correct or unbiased, but like. I just desperately crave some sort of resolution between Ratchet and Pharma. Or if not a resolution, at least some catharsis where Pharma gets to unload and Ratchet acknowledges he was a bastard.
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i know that at the time they thought pharma died#but it literally is SO disturbing that ratchet and first aid talk about pharma like#'he was a good doctor for most of his life' 'you can carry the best part of him with you'#it's fucked up bc like. good doctor pharma and bad autobot pharma arent two people in one body#pharma is pharma it's literally the same good doctor who turned into the bad autobot#it lowkey reads as if theyre trying to compartmentalize pharma like. oh there was Good Pharma and Bad Pharma#but the reality is the good and bad are a whole person-- Pharma#it was a gradual slope to madness and evil caused SPECIFICALLY BY PHARMA WANTING TO PROTECT OTHERS#it's kinda fucked up that no one ever acknowledges that#even in the fandom level there's often a silent implication that pharma was always a little evil/suspicious#so delphi just revealed his true colors or something. like no he went insane under threat of the DJD#idk i'm apologisting for my boy#but real talk i do think pharma and the way ratchet/others treated him could make a good story abt like#the way ppl want others to fit neatly into good/evil roles ESPECIALLY IF THEY USED TO ASSOCIATE WITH THEM#and how ppl will attempt to distance themselves from 'problematic' exes by just claiming#'oh i always knew there was something evil about them' even when that wasnt the case#idk lol. i mean ppl acknowledge pharma used to be a good doctor but just bc they say it#doesnt mean they actually gave him a chance or didnt treat him as just an autobot who went bad#i know im being contradictory. i'm apologisting i didnt ask for feedback sjfksjfjsjd
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"if i isolate myself and just focus on doing my own thang free from the pressure of the eyes of others, then I become more comfortable w myself and gain some semblance of being assured in myself" okay good BUT ->
"if i spend time alone doing my own thang without the pressure of eyes of others for very long and let myself just exist, then i will indulge in things that make me happy, and the things that make me happy tend to be outside of the general view of "normal interests", and this will make me into a very strange person who has very specific interests and is annoying to others bc they became too comfortable with their weirdness and forgot they have to be normal"
so basically i have to just. hate myself a little bit all the time because if I like myself then I annoy people. argrgrhgrghh
#my interests dont seem weird to ME but i know theyre weird to others bc i always get strange comments that other ppl dont get#irl at least#online it feels like im too much of a normie lmfao i hate the dichotomy of the two spaces#and its nothing Bad. like. its just... things that mainstream doesnt like or doesnt know about#cringe stuff (s.elfshipping) and stuff that isn't understood very well (taxidermy) and stuff that is just seen as... idk.#like ppl are weird to me about my OCs and writing and art and stuff irl. they don't get it i guess#they just act so weird about it fhdkdl like im just... making my silly little stories. and they act like im either a genius or a freak#yknow i think maybe I've been told im a likeable person my whole life but i think thats just not true#the mask i put on is likeable. i think if i let myself exist in a genuine manner then i am not so likeable#im still niceys and kind and try to be thoughtful but ... i am just. someone who is very passionate abt their interests#and its hard for me to not get locked in w them and not Only ever talk abt them fjdkdl#and i love to help ppl understand them but i tend to not realize how much is in my head vs how much other ppl know#so i either overexplain or underexplain or misjudge their interest level in what im talking about (again either over- or under-)#god i just wish i were normal#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
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