#theyre just really close homies

[cryingboyy]

kissing ur homie tighten the friendship !!

[watashime-ciel]

RH headcanons before bed yay

hi yeah uh

so

Blue likes taking pictures of Yellow when he's not watching. most of the times he gets caught, but he enjoys it

J.J is the kind of guy that babysits a kid and plays heavy metal covers of kids songs.

FIVE LITTLE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED.🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👹👹👹🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️💥💥💥💥🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

since they got into Visual Kei, Cecil promised to never cut out their hair... that, until J.J once left for a month to play with his old bad, not having much time to communicate with Cecil, making them super sad and entering theur bad guy arc, cutting their hair like a generic anime boy from a slice of life anime. J.J suffered the most out if it believe it or not

"J.J! You stayed up all night painting another canvas!?" "i drank the paint water thinking it was tea."

Yellow is an impulsive buyer. and then complains when he can't buy stuff anymore. "BLUE NO WAY THEY JUST CLOSED MY CREDIT CARD!!!!!... oh also i just got this really cool and big ass hatsune miku cendrillon dress which i have no fucking clue where to keep but lol yeah"

Blue's imagination can be "dangerous" for him in some situations... "some", as in: Yellow mentions his next feminine cosplan and Blue.exe stops working. for hours. the whole thinking process he has is up to you to imagine(?)

have i mentioned that Yellow and Connie are like super besties?? theyre sooo besties rhat they accidently broke a store window and got away with it together... it was an accident, Yellow was drunk, Connie was trying to stop Yellow, one thing led to another and they broke a store window (they werent driving they dont got a license)

oh yeah, did you know that technically Yellow is prohibited from drinking alcohol? at least when Blue's not present or he's at home. potential risks of him drinking without Blue present or at home may include tax fraud, kissing the homies goodnight with Kohai, falling down and not getting up for hours or more impulsive buying, but without proof of Yellow ever thinking of buying smth. "when the fuck did i buy a birds cage- i got no bird-"

Blue's favorite fruit has to be strawberries. whilst Yellow's is, obviously, lemon. his taste buds had stopped working since he was 13 years old

done idk lol

also semi face reveal because i felt bonita with my new hairdye and cut

[ukuraichu]

i was a teenage exocolonist is so fun so much so infact that i ran to my laptop to post my thoughts because i simply have so much to say and therefore have to type a lot.

ANYWHO. im going to document some things about my current runs. I've played the game twice and have amassed about 18h in the 2 days i've had it (woah.) so the hyperfixation is truly hyperfixationing. anywho x2. RAMBLING TIME. (under the cut)

SO IN MY FIRST RUN, i play as sol (they/them). i LOVE my dad, i love my mum but she's a little tough on me. i know she scolds me because she's worried about me and she just wants me to do well but it still. AHHH. i get frustrated and lash out sometimes. but i still love my mum. my childhood friend is marz, who i think is really cool but also i like to compete with her! she can't be the only coolest person ever. i don't remember what i picked as the augment though. ANYWAY.

i wasn't very close with tammy, but when she passed her presence was heavily felt. especially in the secret funtimes club. she would have loved to make friendship bracelets with us. i was enamoured by the very serious and focused and locked in autistic girl (tangent) who i grew up with. i went to classes mostly as an excuse to spend time with her and so that she would like me and pay attention to me, to think that we were of equal standing. her best friend was marz and i was jealous. i asked anemone to be my best friend and she said yes! but we grew apart over time anyway. I did some exploring, but not a lot of it. not enough to see a lot, but enough to sneak out with Dys. I explored and found a pet Hopeye, affectionately named Fungle (after the among us map LOL). I didn't know Dys very much though. he ran away, or went missing, or maybe blew up the colony when i was growing up. i never saw him again.

there was a famine and my mum died. my dad died soon after because of the shimmer. i never found out why. i just locked into robotics and engineering more and more. i named the little robot Ronaldine.

i don't remember the specifics of everything. the finer details are blurry. i just remember dedicating a lot of time with tang and spending time and time again with her, over, over, over. i didn't save the colony. we fell and died. also i didn't like the helios. but i was an obedient kid for the majority of my life up until my dad died and i started to become less obedient.

i grow old, i think. i made a lot of mistakes, but i still grow up. my partner at the time tang, becomes dejected and apathetic and hyperfocused on what happened to dys. i can't save her and she separates herself.

i start again

i wake up again

run 2!!!!!

this one went better. TLDR i saved tammy, not tonin or mum or dad i didnt know how. i become best friends with dys but also date his sister but also flirt with dys and his alien lover sym who i also flirt with but have to decline his advances because im dating tang and i cant tell her i made out with an alien </3. i also spent A LOT of time in the SFC, and work with marz to campaign to overthrow the government. also marz is one of my best friends in this run. also my nemesis, markedly, because i stole her dream job. but because im so close to sym like wow so close, he takes me to meet his big alien leader and is like. homie. i dont like humans but sym likes you and we could like. collab or something idk. like a peace plan. i accept his peace plan, im thinking so forward. so i bring about peace to the world. my mum and dad would have been so proud. i grow old and tang grows old and we break up but the love we shared was still there.

WAHHHH,...., thinking.

also i did NOT clock that tang was trans in the first run. when she said her body was modified i thought she meant. she literally used to be an actual robot. not genome therapy. my bad. love you tang. also when i become best friends with dys and he said he always knew she was his sister RAHHH it made me RGAHSGGFSDF because WOW. theyre literally SOUL BONDED whether they want to be or not. i want them to reconcile i need to get them to talk. idk how i build rex's bar but i WANT IT RAHHH

[acidichcl]

Your take on Bebop and Rocksteady?

Having his home planet conquered by shredder, the turtles help usagi find a new home after growing up in solitude on the moon. Now usagi lives on a planet where there's civilization and where bebop and rocksteady lives

Theyre honestly just like the other bebops and rocksteadys, personality wise. They will also get involved with shredder eventually and be his henchmen. But they dont really play anything big. Theyre not exactly evil or good, they just obey the strongest

Are they homies or honeys? Noone knows. But either way, usagi gets a lil bit envious about their closeness. He wants someone to be the bebop to his rocksteady 😔🙏

[ggukiepie]

bts as f1 drivers

namjoon

retired f1 driver

was about to get his first world championship, youngest on the grid, but he crashed and was in a critical condition

oc is his high school sweetheart and by the time joon was in f1 they were happily married with 1 kid

joon quit being a driver after he recovered

didn’t want to risk his life and leave his family behind

he’s the team principal now and is way better at it than being a driver

seokjin

won 6 world championships, people said he’s past his prime and that he peaked, was supposed to retire but because of that comment he won his 7th title just for shits and giggles

joon’s former teammate

oc is his childhood friend, she watches some gps but not all because she has work

jin is attached to her like crazy, needs her to calm him down before a race

slow burn, childhood friends to lovers

yoongi

doesn’t know how he ended up in f1

just likes racing then suddenly he has 1 world championship

didn’t mean to win

he just wants to open a restobar (inspired by yuki ig 😭)

oc is the social media manager of the team; the public is always so surprised because during races and anywhere else he’s always 😐 but in videos he’s ☺️

workmates (?) to lovers, tho oc is a bit hesitant bc what if they don’t work out we’re in the same team it’s going to be awkward

hoseok

very risky and fierce driver

but off track he’s so friendly, mr congeniality then boom he drives so close to one car and they go off track

him and oc are vvvv toxic, on off relationship

and whenever they’re broken up hobi takes it out on the race, after a win he’s always looking for oc

a lot of the other drivers complain about him bc he plays dirty but he gets away with it

stewards always only give him a warning lmao or some small ass fine that’s like..spare change to him

jimin

he’s on his third year, trying to win his first world championship

prev season - sometimes he wins but most of the time he would lose to long time rival slash bff kim taehyung

oc is…she kinda a homie hopper

a fuck girl

but oc hasn’t slept with neither tae nor jimin, but they’re both on her radar

theyre all friends

tae and jimin make a bet whoever has more points at the end of the season gets to have oc

oc knows abt the bet ofc

soooo much sexual tension

goes out on dates w tae and jimin (separately), but nothing more

oc has no sexual tension w tae

then she actually starts to fall for jimin, jimin feels the same but they’re both weirded out bc they haven’t even had sex yet they’re falling for eo; they’re both emotionally constipated

jimin wins his first world championship yay

“yeah tae i get the trophy and the girl”

pisses oc off like oh i thought we had something going on something real but thats how you see me

angst, they don’t talk to eo for a while

then they reconcile, happy ending

taehyung

year after the bet with jimin

fourth year, really focused on getting his first world championship, he has more podiums than wins

super frustrated

starts getting his act together—drinking only to socialize, not much partying, no more sleeping around, always at HQ to workout, strategize, or practice

tae is super focused then boom season starts and he’s confused why is there a beautiful girl in the workshop tinkering with my race engineer ???? on my car ????

tae is a nepo baby but his parents don’t care about him, he’s super close to his race engineer

they talk a lot on the radio (engineer and tae) and have great communication; tae looks up to him a lot

then he’s like oh oc is always there and she knows a lot about f1 and he’s trying so soooo hard to just be friends

eventually they just get together

secretly bc “my father is the engineer whom you respect v much, tae”

tae fumbles during one race, crashes and retires from the race early

everyone is so worried bc the car spins in the air and crashes and they dont hear from tae but he’s ok and he gets back to hq oc cant help it she hugs him

dad sees and is furious

angst

happy ending

jungkook

rookie of the year without a doubt

idol is kim seokjin

trained by joon

wants to win his first world championship in his first year

which is impossible but go big or go home ig; jk is very ambitious

so handsome so cocky all the ladies want him

oc is an f1 reporter and ofc when she interviews jk..yeah

heart eyes

jk is such a flirt then he finds himself looking for her everywhere

takes her on a hot lap

oc keeps making jk chase her but also she’s not sure if his intentions are real or he’s just being a player but also she wants to remain professional

so she tells him to stop whatever he’s doing and jk gives her space then oc realizes like oh i kinda miss him

they get together after jk’s first season, he finishes like p6 or p5

.

.

a/n: yeah had this in my notes for theeee longest time, i don’t think im ever gonna write any of these so might as well post it !! for all the f1 fans out there 🫶🏽

[ashipiko]

Ashiii I hope you don't mind me askin a question about twst ashi!

I know the people she's close to are in her profile, like epel, floyd, leona, but exactly how do they act around her and vice versa? And are there any other characters? I'm very curious!! (also i'm working on something rn)

Take your time to answer if you need!! And you don't need to go through every character, just the ones that seem the most important/significant to you :D

HI TARURU!!!!!! 🤔 tbh this question isn’t really that hard to answer so I’ll go in depth about leona/epel? floyd used to be listed as a close relation but EHHH. tho I HAVE written little things for every single chara so that’ll be under the cut!!! (wrote it on discord so the like? rhythm behind the words might be weird cuz I cut them out www) 👁️👁️ TY for the interesting ask tho. hope you have fun w whatever you do!!!!

EPEL: yo the besties EVERRRRR!!!! their dynamic is countryboy that knows how to do so many things and princess who knows how to do so many things BUT neither of them know what the other does. THEY LEARN A NEW SKILL LIKE EVERY DAY THEYRE SO FUNNY. epel acts like his yeehaw self around ashi cuz they’re really close and he loves to catch a break wherever he can 🙏 ashi is more feisty and speaks her mind w/o worry (most of the time) w epel because there’s just a certain level of trust between them?? like you can speak your mind and really form a true connection. ashi who was never really close to anyone and epel who never really had friends his age growing up…… WWW I CRY. like imagine two elementary school students who are best friends. THEM.

LEONA: leona is his usual grumpy self and he doesn’t say it BUT he cares for ashi a lot. he’s not really a word person but more so an action type of guy? he’ll do things that’ll make her go “AWWWWWW” and stuff 🫶 ashi gets to be PEAK annoying and AGAIN doesn’t really worry about keeping up a front because she feels comfortable w leona. she’s the youngest at home after all!!! seems like they wouldn’t vibe at all but you’ll find em hanging out at the botanical garden together

OKKK EVERYONE ELSE IS UNDER THE CUT

—HEARTSLABYUL

RIDDLE: they’re pretty chills…… riddle likes ashi because she abides to the rules of heartslabyul (that she knows of) even if she’s not even a member of Heartslabyul herself <3 tho he does not understand what goes thru her head sometimes. “this slang is worse than cater sometimes and ACE??? ASHI YOU DESERVE BETTER YOURE TOO NICE FOR A RULEBREAKER LIKE HIM” vibes

ACE: do I need to even need to explain. I wrote 6K words about them and won’t shut up

DEUCE: THEY VIBE!!! NGL i do think that ashideuce have like sliiight similarities if you peek but deuce is more open and genuine than her 🤔 they’re very cute and I think Ashi wingmanning him could be cute <3 Ashi thinks he’s silly

CATER: people compare her to him sometimes and she’s like “……IMIG?” they would get along really well on paper but in reality they don’t interact all that often….. nothing special but I think they both know that they’ve got smth going on that’s not entirely the same

TREY: uhhhhh. TRULY JUST ACQUAINTANCES FRS <3 like he’ll ask her if she wants anything because she’s prefect and also cuz she’s like a regular at unbirthday parties but that’s bout it 😔

—SAVANACLAW

LEONA: accidental adoption at its finest. leona and ashi both have that bougie background even tho Ashi isn’t an ACTUAL princess so “out of pity” leona treats her 🙏 they have fun talks and ashi likes to draw w leona when she needs a break from ace or if he’s busy 🫶🫶 v chill……. leona could see right thru her act I think so he also likes to tease her and stuff. THEYRE FUN. i think they styled eachother’s hair to look like eachother once

RUGGIE: 😔 the person leona sends to do the dirty work to get food for Ashi…… they’re chill and they like to catch up!!!! ruggie tried to finesse her once and it almost worked 😭😭they talk sometimes when they both end up at Monstro lounge <3 homies!!! RUGGIE KINDA LEARNS TO ACCEPT HER AS A LITTLE SISTER TOO I THINK

JACK: truly just acquaintances pt 2 😔 it’s really hard to keep a convo going w these two and the only thing they’ve got in common is tsunderes. THE TYPE OF FRIENDS TO BE FRIENDS IN A GROUP but not 1 on 1

—OCTAVINELLE

AZUL: she wants to punch him SO BAD. twstshi acts nice w him cuz he’s her boss and she’s very chill but she SWEARS everytime he opens his mouth she wants to sock him across the face. azul thinks they are great business partners HE MEANS FRIENDS. MAYBE

FLOYD: FLOYD LOOOVES ASHI he thinks she’s SO fun to rile up. will squeeze her very hard if he spots her at basketball matches and if crabby doesn’t point out that she can’t breathe 🫶 ashi likes him but she still finds him VERY scary. unreliable coworker 😔 tho I think wayy later on when Ashi feels more vulnerable their mood swings would be veeeeery uh. ruh oh

JADE: HORRIFYING GET HIM OUT. WHY IS HE LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. STOP SMILING AT ME. GET AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

—SCARABIA

KALIM: they’re SO CUTE. ashi’s a foodie and so kalim invites her over to Scarabia a lot <3 slowly he helps her build up a spice tolerance…… slowly……….. both kinda naive but ashi’s more cautious than him I think

JAMIL: very skeptical of one another. vvvvvv sussy but ashi likes his food so. it’s okie <3

—POMEFIORE

VIL: ADMIRES HIM SM vil’s very neato and espec after book 5 Ashi can’t even be MAD at vil’s overblot because she’s like damn fam 😔 i lowkey getchu. it’s okie <3 and she holds absolutely NO GRUDGE against him. there’s like nothing bad about him she can pinpoint and she thinks he’s really hypesies

ROOK: kinda scary but he’s fun so it works out 🫶🫶 rook is the type to joke and tease Ashi and make her laugh I think but give these one off lines and she’s like “???? WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN.” they’re funsies

EPEL: BESTIES WHO LOOK SO CUTE BUT WOULD KICK YOU IN THE NUTS IF THEY COULD. ashi loves hearing about everything epel and is SO invested in his hometown. she also loves all the apple cider he brings over and thinks it’s SOOOOOOOO good 🙏 ashi’s walls naturally come down w epel and TBH he doesn’t really notice or make a big deal about it? so they act very cute and proper w others but you might catch these two on the roof of NRC one day

—IGNIHYDE

IDIA: ashi hates him so much. so many reasons and she wishes she could curse him with rabies.

ORTHO: thinks he is insane and was fine w him until he threatened to blow up the entirety of NRC and now she thinks that he’s terrifying but she can’t mess w him MORE SO THAN IDIA because 😔 child

—DIASOMNIA

MALLEUS: very scary. she gets so scared and yelps everytime she sees him. she’s like constantly shaking when she talks to him and malleus is like teehee <3 gargoyle

LILIA: KINDA FREAKY WHERE DOES HE COME FROM. lilia think she’s very fun and he likes to talk to her!! tho she cannot eat his food. holy moly my guy like WHAT

SILVER: ashi’s just awed by his existence NGL like damn fam. how are you just like perfection 😭😭 she doesn’t talk to him much tho. like that person you look at and think about but don’t talk to <3 silver thinks she is a very nice girl

SEBEK: one sided affection and ashi is very “😨 huh. stop yelling at me” 😔 she wouldn’t punch him but she will give him the silent treatment cuz she’s so annoyed <33 she laughs everytime Ace disses him

GRIM: IFS LIKE. WEIRD because I don’t think Ashi is ALWAYS putting on her front w him because they’re together literally 24/7 but they care for eachother a lot 😔😔 like Ashi will be moody w Grim but gives him discipline like a dog WITH JUSTIFIED REASONS so he can’t really get mad at her…… even if she is moody she still seems cheery so like. weird middle ground. Ashi still plays it safe but he still gets a good look at a wider range of emotions w her

[raven]

thoughts on Narumitsu?

love them. i do actually have a rich inner canon for them lol.

heres my vision: i believe they fucked after rise from the ashes and edgeworth left to kill himself the next morning. quite literally fuck nasty kill yourself immediately after--- AND i do believe he DID want to kill himself. then of course they fucked again after farewell my turnabout and left on good terms but they were not together. bridge to the turnabout you know what happened.. sex. and then edgeworth went on his epic journey. i feel like they were like "we'll talk about this when you get home." and then he got home. did all his bullshit. once edgeworth finished, magnifi died 5 days later. 5 days after that phoenix was put on the case.. they were fucked... edgeworth has experienced an arc. he knows love. he can be open. and phoenix has closed himself off again. what can edgeworth do? he just fucking.. goes to europe. he'll give phoenix and trucy a few vacations, and he and phoenix will talk, and probably have sex, and just know that it wont work. because now phoenix has that wall and DAUGHTER. and its kind of in limbo for those entire 7 years, which is also when phoenix is actually in a relationship with kristoph (TO ME) in order to get information and have an epic divorce #KRISNIX but edgeworth knows and hes fine with it. he'll be the side chick Because edgeworth also has a casual sexual relationship with shi long lang. but of course they are still #ineachothersthoughts. and bodies as much as POSSIBLE . after apollo justice... YEARS! after apollo justice. i think they do get together for real (like theyve already been acting like theyre together at this point too)(lang can hang out if he want.) but theyre not together in a boring way like everyone has it. their dynamics with everyone is crazy not just dads. oh but you know edgeworth is trucy;s dad though. but like people love to make them stable marriage from when theyre in their 30s like. no . they dont fully get together till much layter but ar e hoooking up throughout. or at least not married or anything. and they are NOT the dads. fuck athena all my homies hate athena shes not even here. fuck APOLLO phoenix HATES apollo hes not his dad hes his boss..! edgeworth respects apollo as a lawyer but will not really interact with him unless trucy brings him to family dinner and they get along. kay should hang out with trucy. edgeworth does not like klavier. but phoenix has forgiven him and is trying to guide him to the right path. and they have their own issuessss like . ok anyways. havent been in the aa fandom for awhile so i cant rememver other things i hate them for.

[icetobes]

my favourite bits and things i noticed when watching heartstopper 🍂

9th time watching notes but most are my first reaction opinions too

this is from april 28 2022 in my notes app but i wanted to put it here because i keep going back to read all my notes i wanna hear other peoples notes ahh !! (it’s long i’m sorry)

EPISODE 1

- the first time they look at eachother, charlie sees nick is attractive.

- as much as i hate b*n h*pe, “you’re so cute” charlie’s smile after

- nick and charlie literally just saying “hi” to eachother everyday even tho they hardly know eachother or have never interacted

- the smiley face on charlie’s hand stays there until the next day

- tao buying elles drink because he forgets she’s not hanging out with them

- charlie staring at nick “golden

- retriever”

- just them in the bathroom while nick washed pen off him, charlie didn’t NEED to be there but he was

- “… and likes being with me” - charlie to tori when she asks what type of guy hed like

episode 1

> “i like being with you” - nick,

episode 6

- nick when he looks at charlie

- *asks about charlie playing the drums* “that’s so cool” he’s so ahh

- isaacs face or snicker when tao says something funny

- “ where is your can do attitude” “oh she left, long ago”

- rugby lads cheering when he catches the ball

- charlie getting along with most of the rugby lads eventually

- 1 2 3 squeeze

- tao and elle looking at everyone after school wondering where the other is

- nicks concern watching charlie go to the music block instead of leaving

- nick following just to check he was okay, he didn’t even know if something was actually up he just wanted to know he was okay

- “you say sorry a lot” “don’t”

- nick smiling at thank you x

EPISODE 2

- nick literally stalking charlie’s insta

- the way they both can’t decide what the fuck to text eachother

- nick making sure charlie is really okay

- “but i am your friend and i do care”

- charlie actually telling someone about everything

- nick upset for charlie and angry at ben for what he did

- “please don’t ever talk to him again” PROTECTIVE

- ❤️

- nicks smile at the ❤️ then the realisation of “fuck im smiling at this”

- elles teacher is so sweet

- “bisexual people exist” charlie you’ll never guess what

- art teachers and art classrooms being safety - relatable

- elle painting on her pencil case !! she’s just like me ahh

- “monster munch” DARCY MY BELOVED

- “chin length or above rule” thinks about taos hair

- “best gal pals”

- “you should come round my house and hang out with me meet her”

- charlie checking his hair

- “you look… it looks great” no he looks great ? right…

- nick “you’re just good at everything” babe you like him

- charlie wearing nicks jumper that’s definitely too big “that one looks fine”

- THE SNOW ALL OF THE SNOW SCENES AHHHH

- lying on the floor together

- nick taking pictures of them both

- them just talking

- nicks mum “you seem more yourself around him” and nick hiding an excited/happy face “do i?”

- nick wanting to hang out again

- tao watching the boys play rugby because charlie plays now

- “we’ve been hanging out non stop”

- “he’s been acting a little bit flirty sometimes” homies

- “nick likes a girl” literally where bitch ?

- tao protective bestie ily

- “her names tara jones” charlie i have something to tell you

- nick shouting charlie just to wave at him

- “i wanna believe in romance” me too isaac me too

- “straightest person i’ve ever seen” i don’t think elle has seen straight people before…

- the group hug

- darcy and tara giggling “do you have a boyfriend” “yes i have a girlfriend” “oh whoops”

- “what, what’s up” he just leans closer he wants to be a good friend ahhhhh

- THEYRE LESBIANS !

- hanging out at charlie’s whoooooo

- the drums. the way nick looks at charlie, the way charlie holds nicks hands, they’re sitting so close

- charlie fell asleep watching a film

- the way nick looks at him, the wanting to hold his hand

- the spark animations when their hands are close

- they both didn’t want nick to leave

- “you look so cuddly like that” THE HUG

- *leaves in bi panic”

- nick looking at insta again

- why am i like this

- he’s just looking at their pictures together

- “am i gay” it’s funny because i did the same. the feeling of probably knowing but wanting confirmation from literally anything

EPISODE 3

- the conversion therapy and homophobia pages, the “if this is me my life is gonna change so much”

- imogen my beloved idk why people hate you, you’re just living your life

- the hearts on her head are so cute

- they’re talking about girls, and he’s like “but charlie tho”

- “do you wanna go to harry’s party… with me” WITH HIM, go together

- “IM SCREAMING AJDBSJSBSISBF” me too

- isaac completely ignoring the messsges lmao

- “ive been looking for you”

- the way they just stand in the middle not moving

- “she loves you more than me” do all parents like their kids friends more than their own kids lmao

- “well it’s not old times anymore” she’s so cute

- “i don’t think he’s there to see harry to be honest” true

- tara coming out to nick is so special to me

- “he’s probably my best friend right now”

- “that’s homophobic harry”

- “and i really don’t like you” HAHAHAH L FOR HARRY

- taos bedroom is my favourite, the polaroids on the wall are so cute

- tao and elle holding hands ahh

- nick frantically searching for charlie mans is down bad

- charlie sticking up for himself to ben

- tao and elle deep chat :D

- imogen’s dancing is so cute

- i actually like her she just has a boy crush

- “i’m gonna go find my friend” nick lmao

- nick being proud at harrys party when he sees darcy and tara kissing , also having a moment of realisation that he wants that for himself

- the subtle pride flag overlay on tara and darcy

- he looks so relieved to find charlie

- “ben?” he’s so concerned

- “i’m so proud” HAND HOLDING

- theyre still holding hands

- “wanna race”

- running through the corridor feels romantic and i don’t know why

- “you just going to assume they’re a she” he’s so inclusive

- charlie’s realisation that nick may not be straight

- nicks questioning his identity rn, it’s crisis time

- S H O E S

- their fingers touching

- “would you kiss me”

- “yeah” fuck

- they both look so unsure but ready and i just can’t

- properly holding hands

- they just lean in again

- the flower animations are so cute

- nick panicking when harry calls for him

- bAnTuH i hate him

- nick going back for charlie and he’s not there

- charlie’s dad telling him it’s okay “i’ve got you” he’s the best

- he ran. in the rain. to talk in person

EPISODE 4

- idiot endearing

- nicks smile at charlie in his pyjamas

- charlie blurting out everything’s while nick stands there like “bitch”

- NICKS HURT FACE “i shouldn’t have kisses you”

- the way he holds his face and they kiss again

- they’re both confusing eachother

- “full on gay-crisis” same

- the hug. they just hug and they look safe

- charlie smiling at him

- he just cries

- secret

- the borrowing the umbrella

- charlie just runs out in his pyjamas

- “did i forget something” yeah a kiss

- nicks so happy

- imogen messing with his hair is so cute

- his hair sicking up on the side bro please fix it

- <imogen3

- they’re so happy looking at eachother they look like their hearts are about to explode

- tara and darcy kiss

- “there’s a boy in there waiting for you”

- hand holding under the table

- “you’re nothing like him”

- “a lot of gay people are good at sports charlie” comic teacher reference

- charlie really trying to tackle

- “maybe you’re a lesbian and you have no idea” protect these children

- “i’m not like homophobic, im an ally” she’s so funny

- “it’s not even like they’re dating” “unless they are “ isaac you’re so right

- nicks so nice he hangs around with the wrong people im sad

- “i won’t say anything about us” nick looks kinda sad

- charlie and elle

- darcy and charlie friendship

- she just guessed

- “nothing but my gay intuition”

- nick looking kinda sad about not telling people

- isaacs giggle in the background

- nick wanting to help and not looks suspicious

- he goes to check on him

- you got mud on your face, he’s so cute

- the pink tint and leaves

- isaac just knows

- he looks really confused ahh

EPISODE 5

- isaac flipping the board lmao

- tao and elle pillow fight

- i assumed he was coming anyway

- “you don’t have to” “no i am” about charlie’s present

- nick sticking up for them

- “you came” “of course i did”

- nick not questioning anything about elle

- the fact they all suck at bowling apart from nick and elle is my favourite

- they went to hug but didn’t

- nick won

- “you have strong rugby arms”

- “i thought you liked me arms”

- F L I R T I N G

- “tao, tao no it’s his birthday” she doesn’t want charlie upset ahh

- nick paying

- “i’ll ask so accept a can of coke, if your paying” the way he said it is so funny

- nick hearing the argument

- bi lighting

- “hes, hes, hes my… friend” nick looks so sad

- he wants to be out so bad but he doesn’t even know as what yet

- the. hug

- nick and tao talking is so awkward lmao

- tao and elle running to machines

- nick trying to get donut teddies

- “i didn’t know how to say no… and then her dog died” charlie why are you smiling

- “i wish i’d known then what i know now”

- the stickers and the photo ahh charlie’s smile

- “i really like you” “you like me” “wasn’t that obvious”

- WAWLT

- “i wanna kiss you so bad right now” “okay”

- this scene is just so incredibly cute

- tao and elle playing games together

- isaac on the coin machines is so relatable

- charlie and nick racing

- “you wanna get slushies” “god yes”

- the stars for elles realisation she really likes tao, the game noises too

- the talk with imogen

- “do you ever feel like you’re only doing things just because everyone else is”

- he is so special to me

- they’re besties now i decided that

- “you’re proper thick about girls sometimes” harry guess what he’s daring a boy

EPISODE 6

- “best lgbt movies”

- the fact he’s watched mamma mia 4 times this year already says something lmao

- the realisation from the film

- “girlfriends 🏳️‍🌈” they’re cute

- “i think i have a crush on tao” bestie tell him

- “i think you hurt his feelings” “good” lmao

- tara reading the mean comments is so sad

- tara and darcy just sitting together is my favourite

- “sit and gossip with your friends” bestie

- anti-homophobia cheese

- nick and charlie lying on the blanket together

- the subtle hand hold

- “it’s a good suggestion”

- nick sitting up looking like he’s about to cry

- charlie still not wanting to force nick to spend time with him

- NICK TELLING TARA ! HE LOOKS SO RELIEVED

- darcy actually scaring tara lmao

- nick waving at charlie he looks so proud of his bf

- “we’ve found another one” another queer lets goo

- “im waiting for your mum actually”

- D O U B L E D A T E

- milkshakes whooo

- “kissing you was one of the things that made me realise i don’t like kissing guys” “happy to help”

- it feels good to have told someone he wants to be public so badly

- “i didn’t realise you were in a committed relationship” tori

- s i p

- nick catching charlie staring

- “i told her we’re going out”

- TACKLE HUG

- “that’s amazing” “you’re amazing”

- “i wanted to tell them”

- the way nick rolls them over

- “i’ve never been on a date” “me neither… wanna go on one”

- happy charlie stims

- darcys bedroom is my favourite

- “we are such meddling gays”

- “you’re just here for the milkshakes then” i would too

- a second round

- bubble gum i’d definitely not a crime charlie

- chocolate is also good tho

- “we can share, we are on a date” he’s so cute

- “we should go on a date just us”

- charlie nervous rambling

- “we should”

- “what do you mean” darcy is so cute i can’t

- “sort of no boys allowed conversation”

- “we though it would be fun to go on a triple date”

- “you and charlie”

- “charlie im SO happy for you”

- isaac definitely guessed

- elle and tao sharing headphones

- “i really love you” “i love you too” they’re so cute

- charlie letting nick play the drums again ahh

- telling charlie about his bisexual research “i think that might be me”

- tHe DoOr… oopsie

- darcys stickers on her phone

- “talk to me” the way they can just talk to eachother

- “i just wanna live my life” “we can do that” THEM AND ALWAYS THEM

- “you seem gay enough to me”

- it’s like hide and seek

- homophobiaaaa

- something about how nick crashes through the door…

- HAND HOLDING

- “you know i can’t run l relatable

- “thanks boy i kissed one time” “no problem girl i kissed one time” besties

- nick looks so proud of charlie

- the hearts when elle looks at tao

EPISODE 7

- “older sister magic”

- tori just knew

- charlie telling tori ahhhh

- you know you know

- charlie’s dad is a hero he just is

- HUGS

- they look so safe together

- “you kind of are a gay nerd” “shut up rugby lad” flirting

- they look so sad when they see ben and harry

- c h a r

- “uh, wow that just slipped out”

- “it’s cute” “now im never calling you it again” teasing

- L they jumped

- H A N D H O L D I N G

- their pinkies locked

- “you’re a dork”

- interlocked h a n d h o l d i n g

- “nicks not even my type” HE LOOKED SO SAD

- he ran after himmmmmmmm

- “im used it it” NICK LOOKS SO SAD FOR HIM

- charlie’s dad to the rescue

- nick back to F I G H T

- nick defending his bf

- h o t

- “probably used to it by now”

- s l u r throws up

- BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM

- GET HIMMM

- “he just used a really bad word”

- “charlie’s a really special friend isn’t he” SHE KNOWS

- “yeah he is” he really is

- not tired playing rn

- charlie ignoring his alarm

- “you clearly didn’t get hugged much as a child” im dead

- charlie is so concerned noo

- they both look so sad

- “you shouldn’t have to be” (used to it)

- he’s so angry about the boys bullying charlie

- “you’re not allowed to say the s word

- nicks head on charlie’s shoulder, my head in my hands

- any other way sobs

- charlie’s lunch… flashes of volume 3

- “is there something actually going on between nick and charlie” uh oh

- everyone but tao knows

- tao noooo

- charlie’s draft messsges break my heart

- the way tao stands on the stairs gets me every time

- nick looks so sad when charlie’s talking about how things are his fault

- the way they both instantly knew it would be tao

- the lads booing nick for breaking up the fight

EPISODE 8

- he tried to apologise

- man’s angry banging on the drums

- tori best big sister ever

- “both my fault by the way” charlie nooo

- charlie telling tori about ben

- “maybe i do just ruin peoples lives, and it would be better if i didn’t exist” CHARLIE BABY NO

- “you’re not ruining my life” they just sit and hug ahh

- nick wants to have lunch together

- he said nooo

- nick sitting with tao cause he thought charlie would be there

- tao and nick talks >>>>>>

- nicks concerned about charlie

- darcys “fake injury to get out of this” relatable

- surely nobody is actually this excited about sports daycinematic

- setup lmao

- charlie still avoiding nick my heart hurts

- “i haven’t signed up for an event” bestie same

- “there aren’t any sports day events on in the art block” that’s sad

- “don’t let anyone make you disappear”

- charlie switching bibs, running for him

- he apologised

- charlie winning lets go bestie

- he stuck up for himself

- charlie and tao besties again

- tara and darcys kiss

- go isaac !

- charlie holding isaacs book for him

- the butterflies for taos realisation he likes elle

- nicks face when he can’t find charlie

- charlie sitting with isaac besties

- when he sees charlie

- the flower animations

- walking to him

- HES RUNNING

- go get him

- HAND HOLDING

- IN

- PUBLIC

- imogen’s smile

- isaac isn’t phased lmao

- “i don’t wanna break up”

- “my life is way better because i met you”

- “kindest, most thoughtful, caring and amazing in the whole world”

- “i want us to be together”

- “you’re my favourite person”

- “i need you to believe me”

- “i believe you”

- K I S S

- they’re so cute

- they’re on their date

- ALICE CAMEO

- he’s so happy they’re at the beach

- hands on the face when they kiss is my favourite

- THE PHOTOBOOTH

- he teases throwing him off

- “what if i came out” baby

- “im definitely bisexual” bi king ily

- platonic bffs lmao

- “i wanna tell the people who matter”

- “oh my god i like you so much, and i love liking you”

- “I LIKE CHARLIE SPRING INAROMANTICWAYNOTJUSTAFRIENDWAY”

- they’re literally perfect

- his shoes are wet wtf

- he carried him all the way back

- charlie lying on nicks chest is so cute

- he’s home

- thinks about telling her

- he’s ahhhh

- “you know charlie’s my best friend”

- “he’s my boyfriend, charlie’s my boyfriend” he said it

- his mums reaction is my favourite

- she’s so sweet

- “it’s called bisexuality” sir

- he’s crying

- THE MONTAGE KILLS ME

- THEYRE ADORABLE

- CRYING

- SOBBING

- FAVES

- WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO BE HAPPY

- “we’re gonna tell people”

- HAPPINESS

- they deserve all the happiness ever and nothing bad

EXTRAS / THROUGHOUT

- nick wearing his blue jumper more when he sees charlie after charlie wears it at his house

- [gay panic]

- taos insults are the best

- nellie always lying on nicks bed with him

- the way nick sits with his arms crossed

- darcys rainbow tie dye jumper is EVERYTHING

[patchun]

some thoughts lately or a diary or whatever

i am lonely and my roommate bryan is the only person i know who somewhat shares my nerdy interests and he's moving out soon. i'm moving in with some acquaintances i met via my local bar but the reason they're acquaintances is because i have basically nothing in common with them so i doubt i'll have as satisfying a relationship with them even once we do get to know each other. i've always had a difficult time relating to other people and really getting close to them and i'm thinking this may play a big part in why.

i like anime such select and specific anime that i'm not sure i can accurately say "i like anime". the people i know who like anime usually like naruto/one piece, that kind of thing, and it's usually more of a passive interest for them. but then, you have the people who LIKE like anime, and they tend to be a little too weird for me to vibe with, not that there's anything wrong with the weirdness, i just end up not fitting in with them either. i'm at this weird point where i'm very socially "normal" but have interests that are very different from socially normal people? and those interests are what i spend most of my time thinking about, so growing closer via conversation about anything else can be difficult, as i frankly just don't know much about most topics, and am reluctant to speak when i'm not confident about my relevant knowledge.

so yeah i dont really know what i'm hoping for, am i hoping to meet my similar-interest dream girl who doesn't exist and even if she did the likelihood of ever a) encountering each other and b) encountering each other in such a way that shows we have things in common is basically nonexistent. i think that's maybe a silly thought process as that's not really how things work and it doesn't necessarily need to be a romantic relationship anyways.

oh yeah and i'm not doing makeup or eyeliner any more and i cut off my hair so now its short and brown and i look like an average 5-6-7 if were being generous white dude like i used to. i was really tired of being perceived as gay by seemingly everyone at a glance. but i'm definitely regretting it a little bit, looking in the mirror for that approximate year always made me so happy. i constantly would look at myself in my snapchat camera and take pictures and feel confident and such. now i kind of hate looking at myself and it was weird breaking the habit of constantly looking at my snapchat camera because of the negative emotions it caused. i was just feeling miserable one day and was so desperate for any kind of change that i cut my hair off, lol. i talked with my doctor about it and the idea that i could potentially have bipolar depression came up. which, looking at my past actions such as: quitting jobs, getting a nonsensical divorce from my loving partner of 10 years, moving to rochester, starting estrogen.......... maybe there's something to that lol. if any of my bpd homies read this let me know what u think im looking at u m if u get this far or check my blog lol

but yeah reading over this myself maybe i should go back to the eyeliner lol. i realized that i really like cute things. i like kirby and girl characters in video games and bla bla bla. i like cute things and i think it felt nice to be a cute thing. unfortunately i just don't know if the social niche it gave me was productive towards my end goal of finding a romantic partner. its got me thinking, once i have money again (oh yes i am extremely broke,,, i start my new job on august 12), how SHOULD i present myself if i want to work towards that goal? presenting in general is such a fascinating thing its like... you decide how you want others to perceive you, what notions theyre going to have. i dont know i dont really get it.

thankfully despite not being just super happy i am pretty mentally stable right now. no extremely low lows like it has been for a while recently

[nerdyenby]

Green time :D I’m watching Jojo

Pregame

Gosh, she’s so pretty. Sorry, just had to get that off my chest

I know green got some bad luck but I’m hoping the energy survives and thrives, I’m ready for vibes!!

Jojo stays on the grind, she’s insane /pos

I know Kara would’ve said if it was H, but I like to imagine that it was H who just showed up and offered her bacon without warning

“Maybe there are kind people in this world” Jojo going through it, don’t mind her

Pete and Jojo are so freaking funny together. They’re both so deadpan it’s amazing, I’m dying

Haha who who have past MCC teams memorized, that’s so whack hahahah (it wasn’t intentional, okay? It just happens when you run two 64-spot team brackets ;-;)

Seriously though, no one can be expected to remember MCC teams from more than one event ago, if that, including (and dare I say especially) content creators. Those are your pals and you’re at work, why would you be expected to remember who you were with on a specific day??

“Oh you’re in MCC? Name every team you’ve ever been on” so true Pete

“I could probably name every single team I’ve been in” “Weird flex but okay” “Ok, I’ll go for it, here we go” Jojo really said bet

*EEEEI* “Wait, was that wrong?” “No, I just wanted to make a buzzer sound” Pete is so real for that, honestly

“Fuck vod reviewing, all my homies hate vod reviewing” Pete only has banger opinions, sot is the only vod review you need in life

Jojo’s skin is so cute!!

Pete and Jojo saying they’re excited for Michael’s ace race

Hi Hannah!!!

I love this team’s energy

Pete saying he wanted Jesus to take the wheel and Kara appeared from the heavens

“Pinged in real life” 😂

Them making plans to go to a concert together, content creators doing actual irl friend things together makes me so parasocial

Me when I have a resting tremor and my doctor has no idea why

THEYRE THE ONES THAT STARTED THE PUNCHING??? That’s so funny oh my goodness

The best reactions to the intros ever 😂

Grid Runners

This team is so go with the flow, I love them

OH MY GOD THIS STRAT

“For team morale, any time we fail a game we need at least one person on the team that can take the fall, whether it was their fault or not. Grid runners is mine, so if we fail I’m the asshole” this is so iconic I can’t

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen” so true Pete

Grid goes so quickly because it’s! the best! game!!!

“Guys we suck” that’s the spirit!!

“Let me check who’s to blame for this one.. Oh it’s me! Alright, lay it on me!!” “Damn Pete, what the hell?” I love this team so much

Parkour Warrior

I love the blame game they’re doing

Jojo’s popping off!!!

Jojo’s so good at this it make my heart happy but painfully, or it hurts my heart in a good way, whichever makes more sense

Rip Kara, it’s okay, it’s crazy easy to flop when the pressure gets that bad, no worries queen <333

Aw Michael was so close too :((

“As per the law, this is my fault […] I threw- oh, I’m top 5!!” Y’all don’t understand how I’m love I am with this gimmick, green30’s blame game my beloved

I love how parkour warrior isn’t just about parkour skills, it also really emphasizes time management. It makes it more variable and interesting because it’s not just gonna be the same three people winning every time because there’s no single right way to do it. It’s now a strategy game and I’m so down for that, you don’t understand

Sands of Time

“You guys suck! I’m taking about the other teams” “That’s fine” “We suck too”

Jojo my igl!!!

Michael doesn’t know our lord and savior HBomb94??? Smh…

Gosh, we’re watching a master at work, people

Michael is such a good sand keeper, he just has such “this is your captain speaking” energy

“Michael your comms are incredible, I need you to know that” yes Pete!! Hype him up!!!!

Jojo found the vault so quick but that tunnel is MASSIVE

HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE!!!! GREEN30 SUPREMACY!!!!!

JOJO SOT CHAMPION!!!!

And now we throw, so true

Ace Race

Michael be like: stonks

Jojo repping us anxiety girlies, as she should (I’m not a girl but I’m anxious enough that I think I qualify)

MUSIC TIME WITH JOJO :DD

The turtles do go boing, so true Michael

Pete and Jojo are everything

Pete and Jojo holding hands for an entire lap and a half my beloved

Jojo giving Pete the strength to do the skip then missing it herself

Kara personal best yippee!!!!

Pete fastest lap my beloved!!

YIPPPPEEEEE

Michael is thriving this MCC, we love to see it

Ayyyyy halftime show!!!!! Get it ladies!!!

This is a phone flashlight moment right here

I JUST STARTED CLAPPING IRL!??!??!! MY PARENTS HAVE PEOPLE OVER 😭😭😭

Meltdown

“Here’s the plan: uh, follow me” so true Jojo

Gosh, I love this team. No stress, no rage, just “okay, here’s what we change”

OH MY GOSH

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THIS ROOM????

THAT WAS INSANE!!!

Kara 😭😂😂😂 the sass, my goodness

“I don’t care” Kara is so real for this, I strive to be that self-assured

“Everybody pause. Shut up now. Who?” “Where the fuck is Mumbo Jumbo?” Funniest part is that I don’t know if any of these people actually know Mumbo

Battle Box

“Everyone’s looking at me!! Oh, everyone fell. Oh my god, everyone died” 😂

Mmmm yes, tight corners my beloved /s

Prison my beloathed

WHEN DID THE GAME START???? DID I ACCIDENTALLY SKIP FORWARD AND NOT NOTICED OR WAS I JUST THAT SPACED OUT???

I like battle box, I do, I just feel like I’m never paying enough attention ;-;

Winning against red was huge, they had such good comms too

We love finding a good groove :))

Gosh the vibes are immaculate, you expect them to be super sweaty but they’re just comming in gibberish

Jojo 13 kills?!??!!

“That’s my teammate!!” Heck yeah it is, gosh Pete and Jojo are everything

Michael willing to take one for the team, what a king

Sky Battle

Jojo igl my beloved

You got this, queen

Kara hyping up Michael’s kill :))

Rip, unfortunate spawn, happens to everyone

Pete’s tone when he said Michael’s name after he died 😂

“They need to give the chicken swap to two people and enable pvp” Pete is a genius

Hole in the Wall

The absolute sass, I love them

“It’s all your fucking fault” thank you Michael

I didn’t even realize they weren’t calling colors 😭

THOSE are the lyrics??? I thought it was “I believe” not “if I was green” lmao

Jojo flipped a switch in her brain and called the most supreme hitw comms of all time

“100- I mean, red” real

“Hey, guys? I’ll take the blame on this one” “Don’t.” “King, I’ll steal the blame from you” “I will too, I messed up” this is violating the spirit of the blame game /s

Pete and Jojo holding hands on the leaderboard my beloved!!!

Dodgebolt

“I would’ve appreciated if we would’ve like, said beforehand ‘oh hey, I’m gonna throw now’ so like, I would’ve been able to be emotionally prepared”

Maybe the real treasure was the parkour tag we skipped along the way

“Man, I even took my performance-enhancing drugs” KARA 😭😭😭

Cheering when Firecracker came and joined their screenshot, then keeping the energy when Fruit, Illumina, and 5up joined in too

Them all being so excited to team together :((

THAT SOT WAS LEGENDARY!!!! GREEN30 YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!

They’re such bad listeners /aff

“You guys don’t listen to each other, yet you listen to me when I make calls in skybattle? What the fuck?” Pete 😂

“When was the last time we saw numbers like that in sands of time?” The answer is never, Jojo!! Y’all made history!!!

Michael stop being self-deprecating, I swear, a good sand keeper is an absolute necessity and you killed it king

GREEN30 PLATE UP!!!! I don’t know it that well but it’s such fun chaos

I’ve missed these little post-mcc chats where a bunch of people join a random channel and just talk, it’s giving season one vibes :))

[blinky-skyd]

ty ilu mwah

nylon started out as my splatsona in splatoon 2, based on the bangs cut that i usually used & my favorite outfit in game, sneaky beanie, takoroka nylon vintage, mint drakoniks. still slaps, waiting for all the gear to come back to s3😭 they were kinda a blank slate for a while since i didnt know what to do w them. but since theyre a sona i get to unload whatever personal bullshit on them! when i first started playing splatoon i got obsessed quickly w salmon run (still am) but also grizzco as a whole, i LOVED the mystery and shadyness and grungy atmosphere of it all. i tried to do something w that for a really long time (bout a year) but now its just an alternate universe thing. i tried to make alternations but. clare from fleabag voice ITS UNSALVAGABLE. um so au it is.

anyw the more ive developed them the more theyve kinda become their own character. they have the usual rough childhood, gets into messy bs and toxic friend groups as a teenager, gets kicked out at 18, goes from shitty job to shitty job, theyre just a depressed mfer! they love getting high and getting some. theyd rather die than get close to people or form meaningful bonds. they simultaneously think theyre hot shit and the worst. eyebags galore. oh yeah they could commit war crimes given any good reason (not morally) but otherwise theyre lazy. they have good music taste but also have a selection of sad songs they listen to when the homies arent around. she loves judd the cat. when they were a kid they begged their parents for ages to get a pet spider (are tarantulas canon in splatoon idk). they got it btw (named blaze) their parents were Not happy. theyve drunkenly passed out in public an embarrasing amount of times. she rates her hookups in her notes app, divided into categories even. she hasnt had a healthy meal in months. she doesnt know what a mental health is. she has one of those “damn bitch you live like this” rooms full of empty cans. she can play the piano and knows minecraft songs. they have double the daddy issues. theyre eerily similar to jessie pinkman from breakind bad but /j. they act tough & pretend they dont like physical affection cus they dont wanna admit they need a hug. idk how to talk abt ocs normally online i didnt even say basic info. theyre 22, nb purple or blue ink. ive coped w this bitch too much i owe them one. half of my sketchbook is filled w doodles of them

edit; now comes with a playlist and pinboard

[idiotshriek]

if freddy was real i would b too busy laughing at him to notice he was trying to kill me and then id remember i was in a dream and not wake up on purpose bc for some reason i have that power but no other dream power (<- actual very real fact abt me i choose not to wake up in nightmares frequently idk why i cant even stop it either its just terrible like i want to not be in this situation anymore but i keep choosing not to leave it?) but yea anyways of all the horror villains that are realistically killing me in the first half hour of the movie freddys the only one i think could actually do in. id love to see pennywise try to come after me. what am i scared of dawg? accidentally fucking up my cousins credit again? whats he gna do? pull up credit karma on the ol clownputer? and im not worried abt jason or michael myers im just leaving town. theyre not very mobile guys. they kinda just stay in one town. my plan for surviving ghostface is just not to be involved with any close friends or relatives of past murder victims. fool proof. i wouldve just called my mom to pick me up from sleepaway camp. chucky doesnt worry me id punt that mf halfway across town if need be but i think we’d b homies so thats only if the need arises and things get dire. if a vampire takes me out i let it lets get that clear. erm yea cant think of anymore threats but im really not worried abt them genuinely

[tartbedo]

best.part of having ppl your really close and comfortable with is when u can go non verbal and text them like "hey in non vverbal" and theyre just chill with it and like avoid questions with complicated answers and when they do ask questions they like give you time to type and just awhgfjgaurajfsudhdgvdushsj5t

i just love my homies

[jaywhere]

im about to drop so much unnecessary information but i think i need to like write this down and get it out of my system bc i dont think ive ever actually like put it on paper all in one place but

i went to graduate school in like 2019 i already knew a bunch of the profs in the program and id promised myself that if i got into this program specifically i would bite the bullet and transition bc it was going to be the cheapest option so id actually have the money and i would have at least some social support bc id be close to home and like. yadda yadda transitioning is bad grad school is toxic you end up spending like 8-12 hours a day with 30 random high achieving people and its Bad, trans stuff was not the only thing that everyone was bad about.

i have been trying very hard recently to find like joy in being a man and loving myself and all that extremely gay shit but back then i was this like tightly wound ball of anxiety and insecurity and transitioning in that environment while not knowing a single other trans person irl was kind of unhinged of me and i dont mean to sound like an asshole but i did graduate with a 4.0 and im good at my fucking job now despite all that shit and i am extremely brave and awesome for that. and i could spend a lot of time talking about how all of that fucking psychologically fucked me up but i am here today to talk about one specific person who at the time i made a lot of excuses for but looking back on it im. i just need to write it out lmfao.

so i went to grad school not for fun academic reasons but bc my current profession is like one of those things where u gotta have a special license and training and all that jazz, not gonna doxx myself but u get it. one of the pieces of that is u have to get a certain number (like Many Hundreds) of direct hours practicing how to do this job, usually on site at the university for the first year and then externally as a graduate intern at some kind of real world job site. some programs make you find your own internships but mine was one where we were directly assigned -- a thing my anxious undiagnosed adhd ass was specifically looking for lol -- and there was one lady who was in charge of finding those placements and picking out which student goes where. she also had minimal teaching responsibilities where we had a 1-hour long lecture with her once a week and it was extremely pointless everything else im about to say aside this lady was either sleep deprived all the time or really just not very smart

so you know me, baby trans, publicly transitioning in this toxic environment, constant microaggressions from my peers -- dear lord one time this lady in her 40s with like kids who used to be in the military made me sit with her in grad work room and explain to her what rights exactly i think i dont have as a trans person a lady from the fucking MILITARY who was enlisted in the fucking DONT ASK DONT TELL ERA and then i just had to move on and sit there for like three hours studying -- christ!!! anyways it was not great but this particular professor would literally constantly misgender me in her class, like to the fucking point where i had other students point it out like "why does she do that like youre not even raising your hand" and it became this whole thing where i was like. fuck do i need to sit in the back and even though my adhd ass really needs to be in the front do i need to just start loudly interrupting her so she feels as embarrassed as i do or am i gonna get in trouble for that can i ask other students to help me out JOKES ON YOU i tried that and it did not fucking work for like 8 different reasons

so i eventually just started trying to interrupt her and tbh it made her do it more frequently and draw even more attention to myself and i honestly would have just started skipping the class if it wouldnt have flunked me and you know how theres that whole thing they do in academia (other minority postbach homies will understand) where theyre like "well you say this thing is due to [minority status] but you didnt clearly communicate to us your needs why are you only telling us now" and its like i dont fucking know what about any of this situation (massive power difference between me and a prof, ability of prof to literally end my career before it starts, ability to make my life so miserable i get depressed and completely stop functioning only to say im not "cut out" for your highly selective program) makes academics think anybody is gonna feel okay communicating openly and honestly with them. so i never fucking complained like a chump just jay out here living in literal hell all the time always

and then she gives us these. god awful fucking case study type presentations. they are based on real people, one of them is trans. i wasnt assigned to the group that had that case but i got this awful feeling about it so i read through it and the whole thing was so fucking awful, like calling this poor trans woman's name a pseudonym bc its not her birth name, giving really inappropriate details about like gential surgeries which were really not relevant, super outdated language like we're just throwing the word transsexual around and defining "passing" wrong, i'm pretty sure misgendering this poor lady just to be like "well JUST to be CLEAR she (he) is really a MAN"

and like setting aside how awful that made me feel because, you know. looking back on it that's what literally everyone around me was thinking about me all thrle time. i had this whole conversation with myself where i was like. i have not complained i dont want to rock the boat i have approached literally every interaction ive had here trying to be a fucking model minority and it is straight up killing me a little. but i cannot let my classmates think this is an acceptable way to talk about trans people. shit that happens to me is my choice, shit that impacts others is not.

so i made an office hours appt with this lady. there was no fucking way to casually talk to her so it was like formal appt a week in advance felt like i was gonna throw up for days and i walk in psyching myself up to be so nice and helpful and understanding i just want to learn this shit and get my fucking degree. i explain so nicely like hey this maybe isnt the best. i wouldnt feel good if someone talked about me this way. i know it must be hard to find resources about trans people. we're so niche. id be happy to help you find another resource. we could maybe even salvage this one, or we could use it as-is and also talk about why all these things are bad. i dont want to take away everyones opportunity to learn about trans people, its so valuable and important, i just want it to he good info. i was so fucking -- i do not think i could have behaved better

and anyways here are some things this lady said to me during this meeting: oh yeah i thought when you made this appt it might be about this. she misgendered me like three fucking times -- how the hell do you even do that in a 1-1 conversation??? -- and acted like she didnt notice every. fucking. time. she did it. lady had the gall to like brag??? complain???? to me about how she ignores the emails she gets from turning point usa like WOW THAT MUST BE SO FUCKING HARD FOR YOU...ignoring emails...dear god, the moxie! (foreshadowing) and then admits that she knew the resource might have been shitty when she assigned it but felt assured that i would come to her and let her know if it was bad. which to this day makes me so fucking angry i spent so many hours freaking out about that meeting NOT FUCKING STUDYING -- and the whole fucking program was so vocal about racial/ethnic diversity and disability she would have immediately realized how inappropriate that sentiment is if it had been about NEARLY ANY OTHER MINORITY GROUP!!! and then she fucking is like "well ill just scrap it and we wont talk about trans people at all" and i kept pushing like hey no, hey no, please dont do that, dont let all these people graduate without having to have this conversation just once. and she was like eh and i OFFERRED to find someone to try and come give a fucking training (that didnt involve a fucking privledge walk and extensive discussion of the word womyn god i hate universities so much!!!!!!) and she was like uhh maybe and i immediately fucking went and found some folks to do it ANYWAYS bc i was struggling so much

and then covid hit like two weeks later and none of that mattered anyways!

i then lost all of my opportunities to get hours on campus (while other folks were able to continue virtually). it was entirely random but it was extremely shitty considering id gotten fewer hours in the fall bc the program had just relocated and there were all of these resource issues. i was meant to be included in an intensive project over the summer where i'd get a ton of hours because of the focus area i'd chosen, but i ended up getting less than half the hours that had been projected bc we had to do it virtually. so i ended out my first year of grad school with something like 85 hours out of 400. i wasnt in close contact with all my classmates but as far as i could tell i was definitely on the lower end in my cohort.

the semester starts in like august and this lady does not give me an internship placement until late october. i am literally the last person to be placed along with my classmate who shared the internship site with me.

in addition, the location and setting in which i am placed. i live in a major city in texas -- not awesome but i do not feel actively unsafe out in the world and there are visibly trans people Around. she assigned me to the kind of location where pulling into the wrong driveway as a visibly queer or nonwhite person can get you shot. and its a setting for trans people that is, i would say, at significantly higher risk of getting you fired or written about in fox news.

its august. i have been on t for about a year, but i hadnt had top surgery yet. and im likr 5'1 and kinda chubby. i have just started to reliably pass but its very context dependent and i have to put a Lot of work in.

this lady hasnt seen me since february. no one from the program has. she straight up does not think i pass. as she made abundantly clear to me.

not once did she ever try to contact me to let me know who of the people id be working with knew i was trans, give me any advice on how to approach the situation, or offer me literally any kind of support.

i have thought about this a lot over the years, because at the end of the day nothing ended up happening. i spent like an hour and a half every day driving to this internship fucking STRAPPED in my binder so i ended up wearing it for like at least 10 hours a day for months. i had to show my id to the front desk staff every time i went in and they would print me out a sticker i was supposed to wear with my deadname and my picture from my license where i was very clearly a woman. id have to wear just long enough to leave the office and immeditely strip it off in the hallway and discreetly throw it away before my supervisor saw, because i quickly INFERED that my supervisors did not know i was trans. the front office ladies would whisper about me every day. i was literally constantly on edge worrying when she shoe was gonna drop and my supervisors or the site admin or a client would find out and i'd get kicked out of the internship.

and this lady had spent so long yelling at us about how she cannot guarantee that youll graduate on time if you turn down an internship and you go on the bottom of the list for a new placement if you get kicked out and if you have to stay to get more hours you have to pay for a whole other semester of hours. i was already behind bc of covid.

i want to make it clear that in hindsight i understand that this was discrimination, quite obviously actually. at best it was straught negligence and at worst outright retaliation. at the time i really thought about complaining to the director or making a title ix complaint but i knew they were just going to blame it on covid. and if i went through and made a complaint and they completely agreed and removed me from the site, covid would be a great excuse to not give me another placement right anyway so either way i was just. boned.

my next placement was a lot safer thankfully but it was at the exact same setting as before. which, you know, not the best setting for trans people and the way this job works out, if you don't get practice hours in a specific setting its really hard to make the shift after graduation. i ended up getting a job at this place after actually which is great but its like. i got shut out of this whole area of my field. and that is NOT typical, even with covid most of the people in the class got more varied placements than i did. like ive told people in my field about getting two of the same type of job site and they were like "wait you can do that and graduate" and like a ton of people dont even WANT to have varied placements bc they already know exactly where they want to working im sobbing. like ive been trying to get into the one area of my field where we work with trans people and its so hard bc i just dont have any of these foundational experiences i need for that!!!

and now i am. screaming im screaming no im moving out of state bc we are getting to the point where if i stay here and things get any worse im going to be able to get charged with a sex crime for pissing at my place of employment and lose my fucking license or just have to explain it to every fucking landlord and licensing board for the rest of my life forever and like. just like the placement, is it likely to happen? probably not. but i dont deserve to live in the fear of losing my livelihood every day!!

so im in the process of leaving the damn state bc its not fucking safe for me. and the state im moving to needs this fucking paper filled out by my graduate program saying im competent to do this damn job and i did all the hours which is so fucking stupid bc they GRADUATED ME with a fucking 4.0!! and i have emailed this lady twice trying to get her to fill out the damn paper and she has not responded

im just like. so tired. i thought so hard about filing a complaint with the chair or title ix. i didnt, because i didnt wanna "burn the bridge" or whatever and i wasnt gonna win anyways. like i knew it would just be me having to relive all that shit and getting told i didnt advocate for myself well enough and its actually my fault AND I WAS PROBABLY RIGHT lets be real but i am like. regretting not doing that bc then at least there would be a paper trail.

i had like a whole fucking freak out today realizing that this lady 100% has the power to put me through that exact same awful insidious kind of discrimination that's so hard to meaningfully prove and its making me feel out of control. i know im putting the cart before the horse it is just like. its genuinely hard to describe how awful and dehumanizing everything was during that time in my life. i pretty much stopped writing after that first placement and i fucking always had ignorant fucking assholes talking shit to me in my dms and ao3 comments, trans people picking fights with me over fanfiction and fucking say shit like "no trans person would ever say xyz" and "hes a disappointment as a trans person" and "i just dont think his trans fic is good representation" in public, zero fucking apology, i got on antidepressants for the first and only time in my life. and i was in a fucking emotionally abusive relationship! that shit broke my fucking brain!!

i am doing better now not the same guy anymore i have joy sometimes and i am functioning better than i literally ever thought possible and i am going to move so i can have a life.

but also even though it feels very bad like im talking every time i think about this my chest gets all tight like im gonna have a panic attack and it has been SO LONG since i felt that way, i am going to send the emails and and call the front desk and email the department chair and fucking drive up there and bother the shit out of her until she does it. and like hey maybe she fucking wont! but if she gives me a hard time. it will cause me significant professional consequences and little if any professional gain but like fuck if i deserved any of that!!! its been so many years and i keep talking down to myself like it wasnt that big of a deal im just being self-centered it was probably a coincidence youre blowing things out of proportion bc thats how all my cis classmates talked about it but like i WASNT. i wasnt, i was not being dramatic or sensitive or whatever. i was not safe and i had basically no power in that situation and it was messed up. i finished my hours fucking three days before the deadline! three days from having to pay like $3k more than all my classmates and cancel my fucking top surgery if i wanted to graduate!! lady fundamentally changed the course of my career for no motherfucking reason!!!!

all that to say if she gives me a hard time i am going to file a discrimination complaint against her national certification it takes like a year and there's like 0% chance i'll like "win" in arbitration or whatever regardless of whether or not she signs the stupid fucking paper. ill either have to pay like $3k more go to back to school or pay like $1k to pull some morally dubious license and certification nonsense or try to transition to another setting if she doesnt. but like fuck her and every academic like her who thinks they can get away with that kinda shit without any consequences

NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT I YHIMK GRAD SCHOOL GAVE ME TRAUMA ACTUALLY

[vampkomori]

i think with the information were given by the reports, we can figure out what Joshua may have been doing in the 3 years leading up to neo

i think the key lies in this specific part of neo’s reports

neo’s game resembles that of the game 3 years ago, though most specifically being point 2. The absence of the Composer

these are the circumstances of the game in the og reports. Notably, the only difference in circumstances being the mention of the Composers limitation of abilities (which is implied by his absence), and direct interference by the Executor.

As noted in both reports, Joshua is not allowed to interfere in the goings-on of the UG. To further prevent any potential meddling on his part, the Composer is required to leave the UG. As hes likely unable to/not allowed to tune into the frequency of the Higher Plane, and its specifically mentioned that he travels from the UG to the RG in the og reports, this means Joshua is residing in the RG while the Game is ongoing in neo.

Theres 3 points to address about this situation:

The limitation of his abilities, and what this might have to do with his appearance

The consequences his absence has on the UG

What he may have done in the 3 years the game was ongoing

 First we should brush up on what his abilities actually entail

Usually, he can at least somewhat see the future. This ability is entirely absent when in the RG, he can draw conclusions about what might happen based on observations, but he cant predict the exact outcome. Note that this ability is specifically limited when hes downtuned. So when he looks like a normal guy and not a glowing blur in the shape of a person. Meaning that when he actually appears in the UG at the end of neo, he still cant see the future, and doesnt know whats going to happen.

As for the matter of his appearance, Reapers dont age. As seen in the ntwewy official guidebook, the reapers in og twewy are the same age as they are in neo. Sho is still 18, kariya is still 19, uzuki is still 17, etc. it doesn’t make sense for Reapers, who are so far beneath the Composer, not to age, but the Composer for some reason does?

BUT Joshuas been physically in the RG for the past 3 years, so its possible that that is the reason he aged. Post-neo he can stay in the UG again, so its possible hes going to remain physically 18 when he downtunes now. Think of it as like, time passes and causes his body to age as anyone else in the RG, but time stops in the UG, because it’s the “dead zone”

the reason neku aged while in Shinjuku is because Shinjuku is neither in the UG or the RG, it is in its own plane of existence. That plane just so happened to have time that passes, which lets you age like the RG would. (this might also be partially the reason why Coco is 19 of all ages in neo, even though she looks middle school aged in A New Day, 3 years ago. With her occasionally popping in for who-knows-how-long into Shinjuku to visit neku, she aged the amount of time she spent there most likely)

Anyway, it does not make sense for joshua to be able to choose what age he appears as when he downtunes. The reports specifically say he looks younger when he downtunes, and that its fortunate this prevents him from being recognized by reapers. Meaning that this is more of a happy accident and not purposeful in the slightest.

i know that one guidebook comment by Nomura has him state Joshuas appearance was to match Neku in appearance, but this was likely a design choice and not a willful decision by Joshua himself. You can interpret it however you like, but nothing in-canon ever points to Joshua being able to control his appearance when he downtunes, ever

Next up are the consequences of joshuas absence in the UG.

The Composer is the one who writes and changes the rules of the UG. Considering that in neo, the rules of the game were very much rewritten to match those of Shinjuku, it seems theres uh. Something kinda unlawful going on there. Which ill touch on in a moment, but first, more importantly, with joshuas absence in the UG and residing in the RG instead, the UG has been functionally without a Composer for 3 years, and therefore his established rules made invalid.

This should mean the UG should collapse, i mean, in og twewy he was only able to be absent for 3 weeks before the UG started to get somewhat unstable already. So theres no way the UG would be able to hold up without a Composer for 3 years……. unless?

An emergency call.

With Uzuki being made temporary Conductor and Game Master (neo uses these two terms interchangeably, for some reason) post-og twewy, she likely upheld Joshuas UG rules until Shiba usurped her. With Shiba being directly influenced by Kubo, he likely seized control over the UG instantly by issuing an Emergency call, which suspended Joshuas rules and gave complete authority to Shiba. Thus Shiba was able to completely rewrite the UG’s rules as if he were the Composer.

Small things such as the new appearance of the walls put up by wall reapers (now black thorns, and not just transparent walls), the new decals being two sets of poorly scribbled skulls, and the new Reaper Skull and its pins, all point to having been designed by Shiba, and then made by Kubo.

With Joshua not being allowed to intervene in the UG while his game with Kubo was ongoing, he also cannot ask his Producer to make pins, decals, etc. (especially since Hanekoma is also forbidden from intervening). That means Shiba wasn’t able to contact him to do it, either (or even knows he exists).

Hanekoma notes that as an Angel, Kubo is able to prepare special pins at will, so its likely this also extends to more than just pins.

Funnily enough this also means Shiba never even met Joshua despite being Shibuyas Conductor.

Though Joshua most likely wouldnt be allowed to even interact with his opponent’s proxy in the first place, its also hilarious to think Kubo never told Shiba about a Conductors responsibility to the Composer, or that its unusual the Composer never contacted him to contact the Reapers.

So, Joshua wasn’t exactly able to interject to the changes to his rules. His authority was literally overwritten by an emergency call due to his mandatory absence because of his game. (crappy loophole if u ask me)

 Then what was Joshua doing for 3 years?

Staying in the RG in some way or form.

But most importantly, he mustve interacted with Beat, Rhyme, and Shiki for a significant amount of his stay.

the fact that Shiki refers to him as “Josh” points to her having gotten to know him well enough to refer to him as that nickname, especially since she never even met him in og twewy, and was only told about him by Neku.

in this same scene in jp, Beat calls him by his actual name “Joshua”, which is also notable for Beat, since he didnt even remember uzuki’s or kariya’s names after 3 years, and referred to joshua by a nickname when he was hounding him and neku during week 2 as a reaper in og twewy. which once again points to Beat having gotten to know him well enough to actually use his first name.

Theres also the matter of Beat, Rhyme and Shiki living outside of Shibuya.

we know that Beat and Rhyme must have lived near Miyashita Park in og twewy, because their accident happens by the Miyashita Park Underpass after Beat storms out after an argument with their parents. but in neo, Rhyme has to get to shibuya via train, and Beat tells her to go home and away from shibuya to stay safe, which means they mustve moved away from Shibuya sometime during these 3 years.

its likely Joshua may have a hand in them moving away (possibly because he mightve wanted to at least make sure Neku’s friends were safe from his game’s consequences after he returned Neku to the RG)

their move away from shibuya is significant because shiki is often away from shibuya as well. which notably means that all of nekus friends are safe from shibuyas potential destruction if joshua were to lose his game (again)

Shiki is often away from shibuya due to work, and while she does ardently pursue her dreams of becoming a fashion designer, this decision was likely encouraged by Joshua as well. though shiki does occasionally return to wait by hachiko for Neku, she might also have visited Joshua too. two birds one stone. or joshua bothered her whenever she was by hachiko, and eventually formed a friendship, which then extended to beat and rhyme.

this would also explain why Beat never suggests looking for the Composer in neo, because he knows Joshuas stuck in the RG and cant intervene.

as to why joshua doesnt intervene even though he was So eager to do so in og twewy... we dont know. in the reports, hanekoma suggests that it mightve been to teach shibuya a lesson about responsibility, but thats. kinda stupid honestly. i imagine the real reason might be tied to the Higher Plane and its politics, especially since Hanekoma mentions that the reason Hazuki intervened mightve been to bait Joshua into acting. which is weird on all accounts, since haz looks up to joshua as his senior and tells him he intervened to earn his forgiveness. so why hanekoma even got this impression might be related to him being in the Higher Plane and thus knowing more about the tension related to Joshua and his actions amongst the angels.

anyway, this concludes my case

[springcatalyst]

uhhhhh idk worm I guess