#they're so poor

[vault81]

"You shouldn't trust us to slay the dragon, we're just gonna make things worse!"

[pinklotushere]

Ok I had this rotting in my mind for days now

Bruce *going live as brucie Wayne because he saw a tweet about him saying he was acting weirdly (it was actually damian shit posting) and paranoid abt his identity he decides to up the brucie effect to 100* : and then he winked at moi! Like, can you believe itttt~

Dick *kicks the door open, bursting into the room full on sobbing* : bruuuceee

Bruce *immediately stops what he was saying and gets up to comfort him* : what's wrong chum?

Tim, steph, cass and duke *run into the room in various levels of crying*

Bruce *actually starts to panic* : kids?

Damian*walk in sniffing* : baba!

Bruce *pale and looks about ready to cry himself* : what's wrong?who was it? Give me names,descriptions, anything-

Jason-youre-not-my-dad-i-dont-live-here-fuck-you-mothefucking-todd *walks in red-faced and barely keeping it together*: dad..

Okay, picture this we've got Bruce pale and sweaty, holding a still sobbing dick and and surrounded by steph,cass,duke and picking damian up all quietly crying and/or sniffing and we've got tim pressing his face to Bruce side, shoulders chaking and then jason of all people starts sniffing and Bruce literally goes even paler (of that's even possibe) and pulls him in

Bruce : What's wrong? Talk to me, sweetheart

Dick : it-it's they- * Starts wailling*

Bruce : they? Who's they? Did you get their names?adresss? Social security number?

Steph : n-no it's not- *hiccups and buries her face on him, you can hear her crying*

Jason :..I don't think I'll ever be the same

Bruce : from what? What is it?

Barbara * Wheeling in, popcorn in hand, eyes red and sniffing:

Bruce : Barbara?

Babs: hey b

*Que lots of sniffing*

Bruce : what's going on?

Babs:Oh, we watched a movie

Bruce: excuse me?

Babs: Yeah, grave of the fireflies, man that was heartbreaking

*higher crying*

Bruce:

The next day

Headlines go like this :

*brucie Wayne secretly just a loving father*

*brucie Wayne threatens whoever hurts his children*

*Wayne children being dependent on their dad no matter how old they get*

Social media similarly is bursting with :

"I love how he was ready to commit murder for them lmaooo"

"Is it just me or did brucie just get 10 times hotter*

"Man, dick grayson crying is something I didn't know I needed, that man is such a pretty crier"

"Damn, I love how tim drake and Stephanie brown just buried themselves in their dad"

"My God I always thought damian wayne was bratty but he's actually really cute?"

*God brucie holding damian, dick and still hugging all his other children is so hot"

"Hold on, isn't jason todd dead?"

(And no, this isn't me projecting. grave of the fireflies did not emotionally destroy me. What?)

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I love tornado survival guides. "Shelter in a basement or interior room without any windows. But if you're in a mobile home, just fucking die I guess lol"

[egophiliac]

bring your son to work day

[littlelightfish]

Them <3

[demaparbat-hp]

Oh, Aang, you're really in it now...

This is Zu—I mean, Jian Li and Katara's second meeting in the Kyoshi Warriors AU. The first proper one, anyway.

Once they get through a minor difference of opinion or two (“I can carry my own basket!” “Never said you—” “I'm not weak!” “I didn't—” “Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean—” “Would you listen for once, woman?!” ) they'll become nearly inseparable.

For now Jian Li will carry Katara's basket all the way to the Kyoshi Warriors' dojo and, once there, they'll mercilessly tease Sokka when they see him in uniform.

[eyes-of-nine]

minimum wage coded scrunkly and his very good pupper

[slymanner]

hurt my heart why dontcha.

[littledemo0n]

So excited for the movie and definetely not at all dreading whats to come :))))

[livzees]

I caved and drew the sillies again

Based on that kyle allen video ^^

[royalarchivist]

Pangi: [In chat] fit what team are you gonna join btw, or have you not thought about that

Fit: [Responding in chat] "I am a lone wolf"

Fit: [Deleting the message] No– that's not true, I have a Brazilian boyfriend on this server. In RP, so technically that's not true.

[calcified-fluorited]

Hot take, season 2 feels like piltover apologist propaganda

Piltover has been oppressing and exploiting zaun for who know how long, but the timeline where everything is good, all that had to be different was for hextech to not exist

at several points in the story, including Cait's poison gas mission, enforcers go down there to brutalise people in pursuit of jinx, but all of that unnecessary violence is brushed aside because there is a new Big Bad that we all must unite against. How convenient!

the Big Bad (Viktor) was from Zaun, and we need Piltover's police force to save us from this zaunite. Actually, the previous season's big bad was also from the undercity

zaunites come to help the people who treated them like animals their entire lives AND THEY PUT ON THE UNIFORMS OF PEOPLE WHO OPPRESSED THEM? I'M SORRY WHAT

Sevika who conveniently hasn't spoken a line since what, episode 4? her opinion isn't important, just be happy that she's on the council now.

entirety of act 3 actually

the "dirt under your nails" line. ????? Who wrote this? I want to talk.

[benevolenterrancy]

redraw of that ds9 scene

LBH doesn't understand what's going on but wants to impress shizun; MBJ understands it even less but is optimistic about any sport involving a solid wooden bludgeon at least

[fairysbrew]

not to be a dirty commie or anything but i don't think any one person should have enough money to solve world hunger and then get to decide not to

[mackerel22]

Dazai: Babe!

Chuuya: Don’t call me that!

Dazai: Chibi, honey, dear, love, sunshine, slug-

Chuuya: Dazai-

Dazai: Darling, hat rack, sweetheart, my God of fire-

Chuuya: Dazai no-

Dazai: Mi amore, the light of my life, my chihuahua, my doggie, my baby, angel, baby boy, baby girl-

Dazai: My petit mafia, shortie, sweetie-

Chuuya: Are you done?

Dazai: My beloved, the best executive, the anchor of my universe, the loml, my other half, my soulmate..

Chuuya:

Dazai: Ok, now I’m done.

Chuuya: Ok what did you want?

Dazai:

Dazai: Oh I forgot.

[syn0vial]

okay, so i've mentioned before how boba isn't above using wordplay/intentionally ambiguous wording/verbal loopholes to get out of rules or agreements he doesn't like while maintaining a front of ~*being true to his word*~. i believe the phrase i used was, "like some fucked up fae creature."

HOWEVER, after a review of additional expanded universe materials, i have come to the delighted realization that he has truly been doing this shit non-stop since he was a child. it's literally like,

"dad says i'm supposed to feed these feeder mice to this eel while he's gone, but TECHNICALLY, the words he used were, 'we'll be back when these are gone,' which doesn't necessarily mean dead. ALSO he's said that "patterns are traps," and killing a mouse each day would be a pattern, so if i let some of them go instead, then TECHNICALLY, i'm just following his advice :)" and "dad said i need to be in this apartment when he gets back, which TECHNICALLY means he said i could sneak out as long as i'm fast enough to get back before he does :)"

which leads to

"jabba said he wants me to destroy every last member of this smuggling ring despite the fact that the majority of them are enslaved children but i only promised to 'deal with' them, so if i kill their master and send them away, i've still technically destroyed the entire gang and 'dealt with' the members :)"

which leads to

"the hutts are only paying me to kill this dude and deliver them a grisly video of his death, but they didn't say i couldn't do a bunch of extra stuff like torch his merchandise afterwards, just that i wouldn't be paid for it :)"

which leads to

"it would technically be a breach of code for me to kill these guys unrelated to an active bounty, even though i really want to and it would be necessary to save the life of a third party, but oh would you look at that, said third party happened to find three credits in his pocket, and as long as i verbally agree to said fee, this is now an ongoing bounty, and i can kill with impunity :D"

which leads to

"based on your promise, i hereby verbally agree to backstab my entire galaxy and help deliver it to the yuuzhan vong for purging and enslavement (but since i know your promise is a lie, my promise "based on" it is also a lie and i'm actually going to secretly go behind your back and do the opposite :)"

basically, if you're gonna hire boba fett for something specific, you better have outlined at MINIMUM a 12-page document outlining exactly what he can and cannot do, or he WILL just fuck off and do whatever the hell he wants