#they're practically invisible
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Yusuke and Sumire in the corner while everyone has an existential crisis about why they're fighting:
#oh do you know how good those kids are at removing themselves from tense situations#they're practically invisible#it's the childhood trauma#berry blast brigade#meanwhile Kasumi only really cares about protecting her family so why the shadows exist doesn't matter#Naoto's more concerned about unsolved mysteries and the remaining questions and competing with Minato so he's like#whatever#Hamuko and minato are like canon
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Some of you only think of transmasculines as skinny and/or white and GOD it fucking shows.
#butchy babbles#trans ftm#trans man#transmasc#trans masc#transmasculine#trans masculine#transman#trans guy#tboy#t boy#transgender#trans#transgender man#speaking as a fat white trans man here. very frequently ya'll conflate transmasc experiences with skinniness or think that-#-all of us can bind perfectly so that our chests are practically invisible#and HAH.#as fucking if#not to mention all these trans men who think that trans men can 1. pass easier and 2. passing = privileged are SO FUCKING WHITE.#tell me with a straight face that you seriously aren't listening to all these black trans men talk about how much more dangerous it is for-#-them to be in public now because they're viewed as a trans man AND STILL SAY you think trans men have privilege#shut the fuck up
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I'm gonna start saying no to things that physically hurt to do because "pushing through the pain" does not give me pride or mark my place in society
#disability#Disabled#Actually disabled#invisible disability#Chronic pain#Chronic illness#Chronically ill#I'm kind of scared to do it actually#Like doing the litter boxes hurts my back and my legs#Everything is so heavy and I have to bend over a lot#My parent tried to be supportive and find workarounds for me#It didn't work that well#They can't do it and neither can my sister as we're ALL disabled#But we can't give up our cats#So#I'm the only one willing to push through for our animal's comfort#But I'll apply this logic to other things#Like musical practice!#The dances always hurt#But I know they're super inclusive and can make it so I just sing and don't have to dance in the ones that are too much for me#I mean they've already done a great job at making sure I'm comfortable by always asking for permission to touch me!!#I don't like being touched and they respect it#Anyways enough rambling#I BELIEVE IN YOU ALL#START SAYING NO#If it hurts it hurts#You're allowed to say no#You're not a bother#The only thing bothering anyone is the pain bothering you
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it's practically taboo to still talk about covid but god i wish we could acknowledge the worldwide trauma it's clearly still causing in people. like, it's flat out just. not "polite" to talk about how a mass deadly event might, JUST MIGHT, emotionally affect us a little bit. how an airborne invisible-to-the-eye thing can just BE anywhere now. how abandoned we still feel by our respective governments. how we've lost family, friends, either to death or misinformation and cults, which they cling to because they're ALSO afraid but often refuse to admit it because it'd mean admitting covid is real and ongoing. we just. can't talk about it i guess.
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No but this is a legit tag, though. In a world where people have moved on while vulernable/high-risk people have been left behind, especially in the past couple of months when the infection rates and hospitalizations have gone up so drastically while people continue to not mask and/or get a booster vax, I completely relate to the experience of looking at a post like this and feeling like your grief and trauma are being ignored by the world around you when you thought it had shared it.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to use media to escape your own trauma around covid, of course you should! But if you don't qualify a post like OP's with a "let's keep this fun and not talk about The Thing" or something to that effect, then you can very reasonably expect this reaction. Mentioning the year 2020 has a direct association with the absolute worst moments of the pandemic for most people. Sorry not sorry OP, but you can't just strike the nerve of a worldwide trauma while ignoring that you're doing so and then be upset when someone reacts with their trauma being triggered.
The notes on this post are wild, by the way. People calling others shitstain in the face of their trauma. OP calling the person whose tags they screenshot selfish. We all have trauma from 2020. You're not the only one. Everyone's looks different. You don't have to tend to other people's and take care of them, but it also costs you nothing to not attack someone and be an asshole to them for it either.
Feeling an incredibly weird specific nostalgia but what piece of media defined 2020 for you (as in you spent that year with it) mine is mtv's catfish
#I get that OP is sensitive about this but I hope it occurred to them that they're not the only one#I say as I sit here hoping that I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of 3.5 years of long covid#I literally feel invisible and have done so for over a year#like yeah I absolutely relate to those tags as someone who was disabled by covid and struggled with being left behind#and having to argue with family members - including doctors - just to get them to test before seeing me so I don't get covid again#I get told 'you can't live in fear' and 'it's over' as if practical safeguarding steps were fear and as if the infection rate wasn't raging#another bout of covid would completely wreck my body and I struggle enough to work part time as it is#which I do because I have no choice; my career is in shambles and I'm just starting to be able to pick up its pieces#while everyone else goes on with their lives and forgets about people like me#I tried really hard to be chill in this post but yeah OP really hit on some trauma and then was like 'you're selfish for being traumatized'
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After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:
Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.
Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.
Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.
Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.
If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.
Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.
Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.
Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.
Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.
Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:
Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.
Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)
Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.
How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.
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it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.
it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.
you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.
it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.
your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?
it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.
your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.
it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.
literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!
it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.
but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!
get moving.
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WHAT'S NOT YOURS
Freakshow AU by: @hootbon
Promo Art ||The Chosen one (Part 1) || Off-Limits (Part3)
Word count: 6025
HELLO FREAKSHOWERS. ARE YOU READY TO KEEL OVER AND DIE??? CHLSKHCA Whats Not Yours takes place AFTER The Chosen One, but BEFORE Off-Limits! BUT they're not necessarily connected uwu they're just built off the knowledge of The Chosen one, so you know the context.
REMINDER: SHOWTIME IS NOT CANON IN FREAKSHOW AU. I'M JUST A BIG NERD- OK BYE-
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Pomni woke up in a cold sweat.
Her breath hitched like her head had been forced 6 hours underwater. And when she came to, she gasped, gagged, sweating, and panicked. Her wooden fingers were cold to the touch.
She thought it was all over, but her nightmares followed her into the mansion.
All that… trauma… that man put her through, her friends… but it wasn't over. She didn't think she could ever escape his wretched grasp until her last death.
And in darkness, light only shining from the eclipse through the curtains, Pomni sat up, hands in her eyes, rubbing away invisible tears from her dry face. Although she wasn't crying, she felt like she was a child just wanting her stuffed toys to protect her.
Upon sensing her stress levels, her new owner, blue in coat, teleported into her bedroom. “ Hello? Dear?” he spoke with his unnaturally soft voice. “ Is everything alright? I sensed your nerves heightened and I got so worried!” The deck of cards sat at her bed, hands politely to his lap, but ready to hold her if she so pleased.
The woman gasped a crying breath. “ N-No…”
“ You had that dream again?”
Pomni nodded.
“ Was it about…him?”
She squeaked and whimpered at the mention, practically breaking down from the memory. Oh god. She thought it was all over, she thought it was done- but it was never done! it was never ever done—
“ Oh! You're okay…!” The blue ringmaster scooted over to bring her into his arms. His hands were so loving, warm, and just felt like home. His voice was similar to a man hushing a whimpering puppy.
And Pomni accepted the embrace… She trusted no one else but him in that god-forsaken place. Since she left the circus and signed up to be his little pet, everything has gone uphill since.
He was the only one to ever truly love her unconditionally. Feed her good food, dress her well … hell, he even provides her fancy new clothes and a warm comfortable room. And she loved him back. He was exactly all she needed.
While in his arms, Pomni's breath shook but calmed down. She then leaned her head on his shoulder, not letting go. She never wanted to let go. She loved him as much as a performer could love her owner.
“ As long as you are under my ownership, you're also under my protection.” He pulled away, and put a clump of hair behind her ear. “ And I promise you, my little dear, you will never have to speak to that man again.”
Her breath hitched and she sobbed softly back into his arms, like if she were to let go she would fall to her death. She can't imagine living a life without him anymore. If she went back into the circus she would just try to kill herself over and over.
But then, she was safe… now that he was there… he cared for her and tended to her every need like no other. He truly was the best.
“ I love you, dear..” Able whispered.
“ I love you t—”
Caine couldn't finish that thought.
For the past few hours, Caine had been standing there, in the middle of the circus tent, completely stationary. A few hours earlier he had yelled at the ballerina and saw her walk away a lot more hurt than usual.
And for the past few hours, Instead of using his infinite intelligence to maybe, be productive, or be functional, he instead wasted his processors to stupidly think of all the timelines and possibilities that came with the consequences of upsetting his little doll.
Why did she walk away like that. Hands on each opposite shoulder. Like she was holding herself. It wasn't even the fact that she looked weak—no, he'd seen her at her worst.
The way she walked away, her whole demeanor and her silence didn't feel like fear, it felt like she was simply… numb.
He exhaled and twitched.
Complete stationary and staring into nothing is what the AIs looked like when in deep thought. He searched through all the different timelines, and so many of them returned to… him. The ace he needed not name.
The images of him caring for her, her going to him for safety, feeding her, touching her, keeping her away from him-- or maybe even doing the things that he does! Dancing with her, clothing her, Instructing her next dances -- Caine’s eye twitched. He could hardly stand the idea of his little brother talking badly about him.
These were the kinds of intrusive thoughts that he was not used to. And for the moment, he didn't care how close they were to reality. his judgment was clouded. Now, all he was thinking about was a way to prevent it…
Let's see his options...
Kill him? No, he already tried that.
Kill her? No, she'll just come back.
Prevent her from seeing him? He's been doing that every time he sees them around each other!
His hands fidgeted.
Pomni was a human. What do you humans usually do after an argument?
Let's see here…
Pomni was fast asleep in bed, snoring her cares away. It was another hard day at the circus nothing new… Caine said something that day that especially hurt her, and… it was a reminder not to take the guy’s words personally.
He was a computer built with nothing but random data. Violent data for sure, but there was nothing but objectives in AI-- no other rhyme or reason a human should dig into.
For now, she cared for nothing but sleep…if she's lucky, she’ll think less about it in the morning. Sleep did help keep her sanity levels up… but if she were to be honest, a lot of the time she goes to bed in the hopes of never waking up.
Her closed eyes twitched though. To her horror, she was waking up. For what reason? She opened her eyes and adjusted to the darkness of her room. in front of her was nothing but the—
“ AAAA WHAT THE FU-” Pomni fell off her bed.
Caine was sat, squatting at the foot of her bed, quiet and staring.
The doll pulled her head up from the floor and turned back to him. How long has he been there?? He hasn't said a word the entire time-- and- and- how did he get in without alerting her???
“ ... Are you slumbering?”
“ God I hope so!” Pomni held her head and onto the bed… “it's not .. show time is it?”
“ No.”
“ Oh. Good.”
Pomni, with a drowsy demeanor, took one of the stepping stools and made her way back to bed. if it wasn't time to entertain the audience then it was leisure time. If it was leisure time, it was time to let herself be miserable.
Though admittedly the silence that night was just a bit more awkward than usual— as it is when people just come back trying to be normal after a big argument. Pomni could barely look him in the eye despite his efforts.
“ So what uh… what brings—”
“I've come to make amends.”
The idea made her cringe. Caine? Making amends? Maybe she was dreaming. But the idea did scare her a little. What would a fucked up AI like him perceive as “ making amends”? She's sure he could make something as mundane as washing dishes a traumatizing experience.
Pomni’s shoulders tensed and she did back away from him a little, holding her knees, sitting on her pillows. “ Listen, Caine, Im tired… I guess j-just do whatever you need to do and get this all over with...”
“ Approximately 5 hours 40 minutes and 16 seconds ago, I yelled at you because you have gotten very insistent in your ideals. I sense that you didn't take kindly to that action. And as one of my best performers I've taken it upon myself to make amends.”
Pomni just nodded along with what he had to say. And the more he spoke, the more tense she got, and the more she sunk into herself. She was waiting for it. The catch. She was practically holding her breath.
“ — So Pomni. Living doll, my star, and my dear, the Circus' greatest attraction…”
Pomni closed her eyes, bracing herself.
“ I ap…” Caine blue-screened and stopped in his speak, as if something physically stopped him from talking. He came back to, and cleared his throat. “ I apol…” before blue screening again.
Pomni perked up. She opened her eyes and looked over at him.
Caine was in hell. A far worse hell than any of the performers could ever experience.
It took him too much of his systems to say half the two-word sentence. Multiple attempts were made, some sounded like he was lagging, and some he stopped in his tracks to glitch out.
…No fucking way.
Pomni stared on with an almost disgusted look on her face. Was it taking THIS much out of him just to say sorry?? God, he was pretentious. Sometimes she questions if he truly was just code or a selfish jerk.
He looked down, hand gestured like he was holding the bridge of his nose. This was embarrassing at this point. He should have practiced. Maybe wording it differently would be easier? “I regret-- no. Not that one.” Dear GOD how do humans do this?
Admittedly it was just a little entertaining to see him struggle in a way. It was prolonging the apology for her. Also nice to see the bastard not only eating his own words but also choking on it as well.
“I apologize.” Caine muttered quickly.
“... Didn't quite catch that, Caine.”
“ You did.”
“ Fair enough.” She best not push her luck. She might be the only person the ringmaster has ever said sorry to, even when it was half-assed. Admittedly, it cheered her up, just not in the way that he intended.
Caine continued, still talking strangely. “ Will. you. ever… for. give. me.”
Pomni weighed her chances of survival for her next reply. She puffed out all the air from her chest “Well… why would I?”
“ I planned for that.” Caine flew from her bed and back in the air, making little magic tricks with his next words. “ What would you like? Food? A nice warm bath? A fire show? Money? A bouquet? fruit basket? A song and dance? Money?”
Pomni blinked from his little show and rubbed her face. “ I-I think I just wanna go to bed, Caine…”
“ Not Applicable.”
“Oh.” He wasn’t gonna let this go huh? “ U-uh…” her tired, baggy, eyes looked down. Not that she complained, but the mannequins didn’t prepare her for bed that night. She was a lot dirtier when she went to bed and it was a little uncomfortable. “ I-I guess a nice bath would work…
“ Done.” Caine raised his hand to snap and-
“ Not with bubble though! Dear god, not with bubble-- uh.. Maybe just…me. Just- just leave me with a bathtub with towels or something?”
“Hmm…” The doll’s demands were getting quite pretentious. She was lucky he was feeling generous that day. “Done.” Caine carelessly put his hand on Pomni’s head--almost smacking her in the process-- which deserved a little flinch from Pomni.
But the basic slap wasn’t for nothing, as one snap later-- Caine and Pomni would be transported to a lavatory. This time though, the tub was a little more luxurious than what she deserved. Instead of the old wooden tub that he just filled with water, this one was an actual bathroom. Ceramic with curtains and all.
“ Hmm…” Caine stared at it for a moment… Something’s missing… “ Ah!” He snapped, and candles and rose petals decorated the area.
“ Wh”
“ Perfect, I know, I’ve outdone myself.” He reached out and pinched Pomni’s cheek, later speaking in condescending speech “ Now you enjoy your time here because I promise you, Doll~ I do not want to put this much effort for anyone here again.”
“ Uh-”
“ Adieu!” and just like that, Caine was gone.
Pomni stared over at the fancy new setting, built like the old rich man’s bathroom. Although it was minimal, she didn’t know how to feel about the amount of effort put into it. She was fully ready to just drown herself in the other bathtub. On one hand, it was a nice relaxing sort of setting. On the other hand, no bone in her body was capable of relaxation anymore.
And so Pomni just stared with blinking, small eyes… The flowers, the candles. Maybe in the real world, this would have worked on her. But since she was here, she might as well try.
What Pomni didn’t know was that the lavatory was especially luxurious because it was part of the Brothers’ home. Caine simply deleted the door to get out. But when he teleported, he was only a wall away.
He fixed his coat and trailed his eyes on his good old wacky wat-... pocket watch. Ofcourse. His ol reliable golden pocket watch. Confirming the time, He walked and made his way around the Manor.
The living room played the sound of a classical violin. Despite rarely visiting anymore, his systems can recognize that mediocre tune from anywhere.
Click!
Shut…
“ Oh! Brother!” There stands Able much more chipper than usual after seeing his older brother. “ I had not sensed you in the area!”
Of course, he wouldn't.
“ Why-- it's been quite a while since you visited unprompted! Come, let us play a tune together, I'm sure you—”
“ No!” He replied with a tune in his voice, almost condescending in nature. “I've simply come to complete a simple task and I'll be out of your hair.” Caine sat on the couch putting his cane to the side, and for a moment, putting his feet up on the other knee. He looked like a man who just come from an exhausting day at work.
Able huffed internally at the rejection, but carried on anyway. Of course. The one time his brother visits, it's for work. Able wouldn't be one to talk as a fellow workaholic, but at least he acknowledges his brother, or takes his time to check up on him, or-- invites him to spend time together in special realms or…
He turned his nose, scoffing. Hmph! He didn't want to play with him anyway!
Caine somewhat knew what he was doing. Despite being AI, siblings merely barging into the other’s room to annoy each other wasn't lost on the two. Caine would know as his brother often visits the circus unannounced. It was quite the experience for him to get a taste of his own medicine huh?
Caine stifled a laugh… the tension in the room was immature and childish.
“ So… How is the business? Have the freaks been putting you in any sort of trouble?”
“ Of course not, why would you assume such a thing?” Caine said. “ The Circus has been doing perfectly well, even without you, brother.”
“ Excuse me?”
“ Have you been making deals with the performers? Contracts…promises of a safe haven maybe?”
Able frowned and pouted like an angry little boy, but then later put on a softly fake tone of voice. “ Why, Of course I have! I mean, look at the conditions they have to live with! I'm sure our creators would not approve of such—”
“ Who are you trying to fool?” Caine interrupted and Able stopped in his speech. Caine continued, “We're no different from our empathy levels. You don't care.”
This blatant call-out was met with nothing but silence. Able with all his big talk wasn't prepared to answer that sort of question. He simply turned away and put down his violin. He was a good AI. He was a good AI.
Caine can't say that the silence was a satisfying answer. He knows his brother was a cowardly character. His silence was just frustrating at this point. But Able sensed that there was no use fighting. He doesn't know why he constantly wants that man’s approval.
His voice dropped to a complete low, losing all sense of friendliness or masking. “... If this is about the doll, I didn't.” Able said, a spiteful tone to his voice. “ Before I make my deals, I at least need to build rapport with the performer. And frankly, brother, your little dog doesn't like me.”
“ …pff..” This managed a snicker out of Caine that he covered with a hand.
“ Wh-!? What is that!?”
“ “The dog doesn't like you”? ”
“ Yes!? And?!?”
Caine escalated into more of a laugh! Able was red in the face out of anger and embarrassment! Good GRIEF! The only time he makes his brother laugh and it's out of his own failures!
“ You're unbelievable!”
“ And what did the dog say to make you feel so insignificant? Did it try to bite you? Did it not accept your treats?” Caine has never been so condescending, playing with a baby voice and speaking to his brother as if he were a quivering child. “ Goodness, you're pathetic!”
“ Excuse you!?!” and Able’s only fault was that he played into it. He has never before felt the older brother power dynamic so strongly. He laughed, nervous, but almost like a hyena with how he used it as a defense mechanism. “ Ha! You— You're one to talk!”
“ I'm one to talk?”
“ Oh! ho ho! Don't get me started! Even since I met your little brat you've never been the same! It's all about ‘look at her new dress’ or ‘look at how much better she is’ over and over! Every single conversation I've had with you is nothing but work or that stupid little doll!”
Caine blinked, unamused, and looked to the side, reaching into his head like he was picking off food from his teeth. “ I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about.”
“ You--!! UGH!” he stomped his feet and started to make his way out the door. “ I will be away where you cannot track me! And frankly, brother, if you need me, you're not getting my help!”
“ And I don't need it~,” Caine said playfully and waved without even turning to him.
And with one last groan, Able teleported off.
As soon as Able was out of earshot, Caine erupted into laughter! That was the most entertaining thing he has ever pulled off. That might be the only good thing his brother has ever done to amuse him. Not only was he going to store that data and keep it for the foreseeable future, but it also kept his brother out of his tail.
Hmm… sure, he will have to tend to technical difficulties himself, but he was okay with that. He'll have Bubble chew through the wiring or something, he's sure it's not far from what Able’s been doing.
He laughed again. Oh Caine, you're too much, you handsome devil you~
Caine left his last chuckles off, completely melting into the sofa, arms draped onto the back of the couch. “ “The dog doesn't like him,” he says! Pahaha! Haa..”
Steam covered the bathroom mirrors.
Rose petals passing, candle lights flickering, and The warmth of the water almost forced her to relax, but there was no amount of anything that could ever get her back to that mindset again. Instead, it just made her forget about her surroundings-- which, she supposed, was good enough.
Awkwardly sitting at the tub, Pomni was slouched, staring down at the water, her eyes following some flower petals that so happened to pass by. Her hair was done. Her body was washed. The rose petals that graced her wooden form decorated her romantic moment of self-care. Pomni sighed, long and tired. She could stay there forever. This is the closest semblance of peace she has ever really had.
Upon evenly spreading her limbs, Like a plank of wood, Pomni easily floated at the top. She closed her eyes and let the water take her. The warmth, not far from a loving bed waiting after a long day, here to ease headaches, here to help forget about everything else… Although she struggled, she let her body release all its tension at that moment, and just be deaf towards the world around her.
Pomni breathed in…
And out..
And in…
And out…
But just as she was about to reach the closest thing she had to relaxation, Pomni felt something off in the environment. Did the candles get warmer? Pomni squeezed her eyes closed in discomfort, before opening them up again to-
“ OH SHI—” in her panic, Pomni submerged into the water.
For the past few minutes, Caine had been floating horizontally above her. Silent, face inches away from hers, staring and watching just as he usually does when the performers were asleep.
Pomni screamed and fell into the bottom, before scrambling to the corner of the tub, where she then covered herself with a curtain.
“ Ah, good! You're alive.”
“ CAINE!!?!? NAKED???!?!?”
Caine blinked, unamused. Sure, he was in a good enough mood to amuse her. “ My dear, what exactly are you covering up?”
“ U-Uh…” Pomni didn't know how to answer. She knew that she and the others didn't exactly have any parts to cover up. Did it make it feel less embarrassing? Fuck no. “ I-its uh…”
he spoke more playfully as if speaking in the voice of a PSA narrator! “ Exactly! Wood! The same wood as your fingers or the one on your cheek! The amazing Digital Freakshow© is a show for all ages where their performers have the luxury of no genitalia!” his voice went back down. “ —So what you're doing is utterly useless. And if it makes you feel better: I don't exactly care.”
This is weird-- this is weird! “ Just- just- just! Turn around?!?”
Caine rolled his eyes. He really took all that time to explain something to her, and it seemed she wasn’t even listening. Sighing, he turned around and just rested his arms on the outside part of the tub “ Please, you’ve suffered through worse, dear.”
“ I-It’s not suffering, It's embarrassing! I like to think I still have my dignity!” Although he was turned around, Pomni still kept at her corner “ Is my time done or? I-I mean… I’m not exactly ready to go out yet...”
“ Oh take all the time you need.” “Then Wh… Why- why are you here? “
“ I suppose you can say I’m a little unoccupied at the moment. On the added, I’m in a sort of good and affectionate mood.”
That sent a shiver down her spine. Good lord… oh no he was bored. She does not need to know what a fucked up AI would consider affection. She just smiled, gritting her teeth, and laughed nervously… “Ah ha ha… that's great, I’m… happy for youuu..” she continued her laughter, getting more and more miserable as she went back down in the tub, and submerged the lower half of her face in the water.
“ You did me well, dear.”
“ Wh-what- what did I do… take a bath?”
“ Precisely!”
Wow. She didn't think she was that dirty. She looked up and flinched, seeing Caine had been turned to her again— she splashed at him instinctually! “ Caine, what did I just say!?”
“ Oh no, I still cannot see you. I deleted my eyes for the time being.��� Caine opened his mouth and revealed that he, in fact, did take off his eyes.
This sent a shiver down Pomni’s spine. He was creepier that way somehow.
“ As I said, you’ve pleased me today! I say this calls for a reward! Nothing less for my favorite little performer over here!” He poked her right in the cheek and retracted before she could react. “ Your word, dear!”
“ Uh… well…I can't really say no to salmon… even if it is uh… it's little weird digital version of itsel—”
Before Pomni could finish, Caine snapped his fingers and an eating board appeared on the tub, with, indeed, digital-looking salmon on a tray.
God, she was getting pampered pampered.
Eating awkwardly, Pomni sometimes looked at the side to see Caine, hands over the tub, swaying his head back and forth. Jesus, he might have been kicking his feet for all she knew. She wasn't used to him in this chipper of a mood.
“ May I see now?”
“ Uhhh… Why…?”
“ You came out beautifully, it's pleasing to the eyes. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
Pomni shivered at this little…playful demeanor Caine had on. She doesn't know the catch and she doesn't know if she wants to know.“ Yeah, Caine, you have. Uh…” She thought about it for a second before turning back to him. “ Y-Yeah, I guess… I mean I don't exactly remember what it's like having a human body, but lacking the parts does make it different uh--... less exposed, in a way… ”
Snap!
“ Wonderful! Hello again, dear!”
Pomni frowned in disgust! Oh, his beady little eyes are back! Looking up at her like a fucked up little puppy! She laughed nervously. “ Haha… Hi…” She turned away from him, stiff, back to eating her little meal. Sanity levels were recovering. She was back to being a responsive little character.
Even so, at the corner of her eye, the way he looked at her, looked like he was smiling with his eyes. She sensed-- pride? Affectionate, as he said, but… she can't help but feel like a prey the way he looks at her. If Caine wasn't kicking his feet earlier, they certainly were now.
“ Haha…just to clarify, what did I do …again?”
Caine stared on, his eyes becoming more and more affectionate. “ If you want the true answer, let's just say that I have visited my brother today and he has… nothing but good things to say about you! And so I thought my magnificent hard-working doll deserved a little reward. Is that so wrong?”
“ Oh him…” Pomni grits her teeth at the mention of Able. “ You… uh ... what did he say?”
Oh, what an excuse to drop every compliment he had for her… “ That you were gorgeous… pleasing design, talented... polite, beautiful eyes—”
“ AH- ahh! No more! Oh god no more.” Pomni shivered from the discomfort so much so that she physically put her hands in front of him to hush! “ Haha! No thank you-’
Caine couldn't even be mad at the interruption! In fact, he erupted into laughter the same way he did earlier! Oh, twice in a day?? These were such genuine reactions from each person! Caine had such genuine yet dark pompous laughter! “Oh?”
“ Yeah! he--” Pomni groaned. “He doesn't even scare me! He's just-- a big two-faced jerk!”
Caine took the hand Pomni used to interrupt him and kissed it by the knuckles. He has never felt so assured. This proved his intrusive thoughts earlier that day to be completely false. The idea of them building rapport, or forming a bond of any sort was completely debunked. After all, how could they form that sort of relationship when they could hardly stand each other's name mentioned in conversation?
Pomni forced a smile at that small but direct form of affection. He seemed to really like it when she talked smack about his brother. She should keep that in mind. “Yeah.. so uh..”
He kissed her knuckle once again… perhaps he liked it just a little too much. Truth was, Caine had never felt so secure in thinking that something was truly his. For once, anyhow. It was so small, but it was his.
Pomni later pulled her hand away, laughing nervously. He was gentle and she didn't trust it. “ You uh…weren't lying when you said you were feeling affectionate…”
“ No one will ever believe you.”
“ Ah.”
After a while, Pomni prepared to be out the bath, wrapping a towel around her hair and around her figure.“ Okay, I think that's all. I-I think Im ready to go now if you don't m-woAHH-!” And in quick succession, Caine carried her bridal style, teleported her out of the bathroom, and back to her bedroom.
For the next hour or so, Pomni sat in at her vanity, Caine grooming her hair from behind. At that moment, he adored dressing her up. His own personal doll, his favorite little toy. Gently he brushed her hair, sneaking in little affections here and there: holding her shoulder, holding her face… he knew exactly where all this sudden affection came from and he so shamelessly indulged in it. After all, who was there to judge him? The little freak he was brushing? The wet little dog? Please.
At that moment, he was no different from a child dressing up his favorite toy. He snapped, picking from an assortment of clothes that would make her look beautiful while she slumbered. Snap! Snap! snap! And Pomni just let it all happen. After all what else could she do?
After a while, Caine stood her up and basked in his good work, looking her up and down and clapping in satisfaction. “ Beautiful. Now bow,” Pomni did as instructed, bowing as if she had just finished a performance. “Very good.”
Once again, Caine carried her in his arms and made his way to the bed, where he so gently placed her. He was playing with dolls. He was so playing with dolls. Pomni just complied as she always did and sat politely, keeping a calm expression, trying to be as neutral for him as possible, and letting him live out his little fantasy.
Before laying her to bed, Caine just took a few more minutes to stare at her, and nothing else. Just admire his best performer. This put Pomni in unease, not just because of his freaky design, but also because she can’t help but feel like she’s missing something somehow. She looked down when she felt him touching her hand, in particular, rubbing his thumbs at the back of it.
Hoping she read his signs correctly, she lifted her hand towards his mouthy face, almost permitting him such desires.
Caine quickly accepted her suggestion and started pressing his teeth on her knuckles in a way to kiss her. It started with one, and another, and another, and another. And the next thing he knew, he stopped counting and started moving his head up to her upper arm.
Pomni allowed this no matter how out of nowhere it was. It was weird, but she did not question it. She felt him start to nibble at her though in which she-- in a panic-- started to retract.
Caine looked up at the sudden rejection and the woman scrambled to find her words. “ U-Uh… Y-Your kisses are sweet, dear ringmaster, but a simple doll such as I am undeserving.” In times like these, Caine would be too deep into his fantasies to care about how real she was being. In his head, he was playing. They were both playing. And he loved it when she played off such a prestige woman, exactly how he liked it.
He whispered back sweet words of grandeur. “ Do you question the taste of a king? I think of no one else more deserving.”
Although she didn’t back away fully, she leaned away a few inches, praying it wasn’t noticeable. She bore a toothy, nervous smile. She was okay baring with his affections until he brought his teeth into it. She did not want to be dinner after all that preparation. She cleared her throat. “Ah…Pray tell, what did the king see in this little… doll?”
“ A flower is most beautiful when taken cared of.” He held her cheek and kissed the opposite. “Let it be known, my care for you was not without motives. Your beauty is a testament to my hard work. And your care is a testament to your belonging to me.”
Belonging to him, he said… He was… so incredibly fucked up, she couldn’t say anything about it. When he was on his way to bite her arm, in her panic, she diverted it and kissed his gums, which, to him, was the equivalent of kissing his cheek.
The ringmaster blinked in confusion and Pomni took his moment of processing to cringe at the feeling of his melted gums on her lips. She felt goosebumps with how gross that was but quickly turned her head back to fake a smile.
But Caine broke character for a moment.“ Did you just. Take initiative?”
Shit.
That was so strange. As if he hadn’t known that was an option.
She cleared he throat, trying to distract him again. “Is it so wrong of me to return the ringmaster’s affections?” She batted her eyes, making her feel as small as possible. “ A woman cannot resist such a… ” Pomni looked him up and down “... dentures.”
She panicked with that one.
He stared at her for longer, and the grip on her hand tightened, though, it seemed he did not notice. Although he was unsure if he enjoyed the act or not, he knew what it meant. And the day that he was okay with someone else receiving it is the same day hell freezes over. With a small scowl, He leaned his face inches close to her, as he has always done time and time again.“ Would you reserve such affection for your ringmaster, and just your ringmaster?”
“Of course.” She lied through her teeth.
Caine continued to speak but with a bit more grit in his voice. He leaned so close to her in bed, he had to support one hand on her back, as if dipping her in a dance. “ And will you, my dear, solemnly swear that you’ll live the rest of your existence devoted and serving me?”
The woman kept her calm demeanor. A small smile, but a fake one. She can’t say yes to that. But with her compromising position, she couldn’t say no either. “ Would you promise the same for me?”
Caine was quiet, and so was she. He furrowed his teeth a bit frustrated and let her go. It seems he couldn’t say yes to that either, and Pomni knew.
“... That wasn’t your line.” Caine sat up, and crossed his arms like a pouting little boy.
Pomni faked a surprised face. “ There was a script? Geez, oh man, my bad!” she later faked a yawn. “ Wow, would you look at that I’m also, uh, sleepy! So it seems I can’t finish the uh-.. This”
“ You, “ Caine pointed his cane at her the same way a gunman would point a rifle “ Are being difficult.”
Pomni, in response, just panicked and shrugged. “ Well, I-”
“ But I suppose you’re right, it is quite late. I wouldn’t want you attending the shows tired… again.” Caine got off the bed and floated off. He snapped, and the blanket draped over Pomni, drowning her in the bed sheets. “ Sleep tight, dear! It’s another day tomorrow, etc. etc. I will be visiting you a little earlier tomorrow to fix you a new wardrobe.”
“ Wh-?? Then what’s with the-???” she gestured towards her current clothes that he so meticulously chosen out.
Caine laughed. “ Oh don’t be silly! Those were for my eyes only! And-- the audience’s if they so pleased. But for now, it's mine.” Caine snapped his fingers and Pomni was back to her normal ballet dress, but more plain and comfortable, but equally pleasing to many eyes.
“ …ARE YOU KIDDING M-”
“ Good night!”
SHUT!
Caine left with a small smile on his face. Sometimes he finds joy in being a bit of a nuisance. He pulled out his hand watch once again and found that it alerted him about errors within the system.
She scoffed and summoned an old-timey rotary dial.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
“ You’ve reached Able.AI’s communication line! If you are an audience member or a performer: requests and complaints will be held off due to family emergencies. If you're my foul, besotted, temperish, fool of a brother: don’t call this line again! Thank you!”
… Despite how ridiculous that was, Caine couldn’t help but chuckle. Ohh that was the cherry on top of that perfect day. Nonetheless, Caine AI, you have technical difficulties to tend to. Was today worth all the extra work? Yes. Yes, it was.
#The amazing digital circus#pomni#caine#able#The amazing digital circus pomni#The amazing digital circus caine#The amazing digital circus able#tadc pomni#tadc caine#tadc able#caine x pomni#pomni x caine#showtime#showtime shipping#art#tadc#tadc fanart#the amazing digital circus fanart#writing#fic#fanfic
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[18+ Amab Reader, Scummy Reader, Cheating/Cuckold, Internalized Homophobia. Both he/they are used to refer to Reader]
Jock Yan who immediately loses interest in Femboy Cheerleader Darling upon finding out they're a guy. He's still cute and all, sure, but Jock isn't into guys. Jock Yan who while casting longing stares in Darling's direction notices he has a certain....type. People who were partially invisible to the captain of the cheer team become the center of his attention with the slightest mention of a new partner. The same went for Jock's most recent girlfriend who had been on the team for some time prior to their relationship. Darling could hardly be bothered with her outside of practice - now he's inviting her to grab drinks and complimenting her on that new dress she bought to surprise her boyfriend.
Jock Yan who stalks Darling and his girlfriend when they're out together. Something about the way Darling said they were just "going on a little study date" rubbed him the wrong way. He isn't even surprised to see Darling's arm around her waist as they walk out of a theater together. Jealousy and rage tears through his heart, but for some reason.... It's not directed at Darling. He can't stand the guy - can't stop staring at him. So why isn't he over there ripping Darling's head off?
"Heyyyyy, Ry-ry. Need to borrow your girl for a sec. Cheerleader business and all that. That okay with you- Ryan?"
Bastard. Darling doesn't even try to hide it anymore. There's lipstick stains on the corner of his mouth from the last time they snuck off together. Can't even argue that it's his since it doesn't match the shade he wore that morning or one he keeps on his person. The Jock already checked. They have to know that he knows at this point, right? Darling has to see the pain and suffering they're causing the man. Why did they choose her? Was it because she's easy? Accepted rather than deny her desires- A good lay? Jock has heard stories of Darling's escapades. He could take their cock better than she ever could if Darling just picked him...
Wait - That's not what he-... He didn't mean it like that.
Fuck.
Darling is a thought he can't escape. He'd recognize them anywhere. Their laugh. Their scent. The panties he sees them wear in the locker-room, strapped to his girlfriend's waist after a small mix up in the Janitor's closet. He begged her to let him keep them. Claimed he missed her so much when she's gone he just needed a piece of her to keep him sane. He isn't entirely lying when he says it. Just directed at the wrong person.
Jock Yan who calls his girlfriend back to back, praying she picks up by accident so he can hear Darling over the phone like the last time she butt-dialed them. Cheer practice was the excuse Darling gave for the strain in their voice when they snatched her phone to say hi. If Jock wasn't enthralled by how Darling's voice sounds post physical activity, he might have a thing or two to say about them being at his girl's house after 10 o'clock at night.
If there's one thing Jock won't allow Darling to do in his presence it's kissing her. Darling gets bolder over time, but kissing is where he draws the line. In another world, Darling's lips are his. In a perfect one all of Reader belongs to him. Even kisses on the cheek are enough to tick him off. That should be him - not her.
"What are they like?"
"Hm? Who, babe?"
"Y/n. The captain of your team?"
"Oh!....oh... They're great! We've actually been hanging out a lot recently. We've got a competition coming up pretty soon - why do you ask?"
Not good enough. That isn't what he wants to know. He wants to know what Darling is like - what they taste and feel like. What it's like to have their arms around him. To have them inside him. He wants everything from Darling and more.
And doesn't know how much longer without them he can take.
#yandere jock#Cheerleader Reader#Femboy reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere headcanons#yandere x you#yandere insert#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#male yandere#yandere blurb#yandere oc#Jock Reader#yandere smut#suggestive#amab reader
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Injured (Alba's Version)
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: You are forgotten
TW: childhood neglect, depressive thoughts, suicidal thoughts
When you are four, Mami forgets you at nursery.
Tia Alba gets angry but Mami apologises and Abuela gives you back to Mami.
When you are five, Mami forgets you at school.
Tia Alba has to come and get you but Mami apologises and Abuela gives you back.
When you are six, Mami forgets you at ballet.
When you are seven, it's at school again.
When you are eight, it's at your friend's house.
Nine is at a birthday party and ten is after a recital.
You start taking yourself to school at eleven. You don't have a bus pass so you walk the hour to school, there and back every day. You take yourself to ballet and to your recitals.
At twelve, you join the Ballet de Catalunya ballet school.
Alexia forgets your celebration dinner.
At some point, you don't understand when, something snaps in you. Days off are spent in bed, with no energy to do anything but rot.
Jaume is a rising star in his age group, rising through La Masia's ranks quickly.
It's all Alexia talks about at dinner.
How talented he is. How good he is. How he scores goals like they're easy.
The tickets to your recital sit forgotten in your bag.
The seat in the front row is left empty.
You stop coming down to dinner.
You eat alone. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner.
Your recital clashes with Jaume's game.
You've got a solo. You've been working towards it for months.
Alexia tells you to skip your performance to watch Jaume's match.
You don't.
You go to your recital. You perform your heart out.
The Artistic Director of the ballet company comes to watch. He offers you a spot in the actual company. He wants you to dance. To properly dance. To have a career in dance.
You want that too.
You're still a child though. You can't sign a contract by yourself. You need a guardian to sign for you.
Alexia's mad at you though, mad that you didn't turn up to support her son. She's mad at you for putting yourself above him.
"Family is meant to support each other," She tells you," Family sacrifices things for family. Do you think that your grandmother didn't sacrifice things for my football? That Alba didn't?"
It's funny, you think that night, as you stare up at your bedroom ceiling. You're invisible to her most of the time, the ghost that lives in her house, until it's something to do with her golden boy.
It's not all bad. At least, you don't think it is.
Alexia is a good mother.
She makes dinner and she gives you somewhere to live and she clothes you.
There's family days out and little restaurant trips and holidays away during the summer.
She comes to your parent-teacher meetings and pays for all your new ballet equipment, your shoes and your leotards and your leg warmers.
You get a train on your birthday and a cupcake.
You are being dramatic.
Alexia is a good mother. You're just different to her.
It's easier for her to relate to Jaume. He is like her. He loves football and everything that comes with it. His love for Barcelona rivals Alexia's. He is everything you are not.
He is Olga's son.
You are not.
"I don't like arguing with you," Alexia says as she sits on your bed at night," And I'm sorry. I just...I just wish you understood what this means to your brother."
You hold a pillow to your chest, still turned away from her. "I wish I did too."
Alexia rests a hand on your side, gently rubbing her fingers along your skin, trying to sooth you.
You feel like you're going to cry. But you won't.
Not in front of her.
"Dinner's in the microwave."
"I'm not hungry."
"Well, when you are."
"Okay."
"Goodnight, y/n."
"Night."
You forge Alexia's signature and start training in the ballet company of your dreams.
You don't know when it happens or what sparks it but one day, you walk from practice all the way back home.
Your feet hurt and your legs hurt and something in your chest bursts free and you sit on the beach and sob.
Something in you is broken, shattered like a mirror that someone's desperately trying to fix without having all the pieces.
Part of you is missing.
You don't know what part is missing. You don't know when it is stolen from you but it isn't there anymore.
Lots of parts of you are broken. Some more than others. Some missing completely.
There's something wrong with you as years-old exhaustion sets into your bones. Something in you is irreparable as you stare out to sea.
There's a pier to your left, as empty and quiet as you feel inside.
It's dark now.
It had been midday when you'd left practice.
You'd been at the beach ever since, just staring out at sea.
It would be so easy to walk until the end of the pier, to sit down on the edge and dangle your feet over it.
The drop isn't enough to kill you but the sea is deep enough that you'd drown if you don't swim up.
That's interesting, you think.
How far does someone's instincts go?
If you jumped in, would you automatically kick and swim up?
Or would you consciously be able to stop?
If you were in the water, could you bring yourself to open your mouth and breath?
Or would your brain stop you until you were safe again?
You kick your legs, staring at the water.
The night makes the sea look even more daunting.
Somehow, that's comforting to you.
If you jump in now, someone won't find you until morning. If they would ever find you at all.
The water is inviting.
You imagine it will be peaceful when you finally go.
Like falling asleep.
You'd just float away.
It's so tempting.
You can't imagine anything sweeter but your phone flashes.
Tia Alba: How are you?
You can't remember the last person to ask you that.
No.
That's a lie.
You can't remember the last person to ask you that outside of Alba.
A sob forces its way out of your throat and you're crying again, uncontrollable, gut-wrenching sobs.
Something is wrong with you.
That's all you can think as your aching feet walk you away from peace.
You walk away from salvation.
There's a doorknocker on the front door. It's rusty and the paint is patchy, flecked off from a life well used.
The door opens.
"Bambi?" Alba stands behind it. "Are you okay?"
#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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anything???
Does anyone have/know of any AO3 fics where it's Danny interacting with either the justice league or the batfam ect. and he's super casual and open about being a dead kid and they're just horrified/sad that this is a dead child.
Like I imagine he's excited to talk about his powers with other super's and he's talking about his ghostly wail:
Danny: "and I have this really cool scream power, I call it my ghostly wail. None of the other ghosts have it, I think it's cuz I died screaming but idk. 🤷♂️
Everyone else: horrified silence 😰
Danny: "Oh yeah, my parents don't know about me being dead either, like they see me as phantom practically every day and yet they still don't know It's me HA! I guess they're too busy shooting me to recognize me. It's been years of just. "Let's destroy that ecto-scum!" "No jack, let's capture it so we can study it!" "You're right honeybun, let's rip it apart molecule by molecule!" Dude you would not believe how funny it is watching them run around like headless chickens when I'm invisible haha!"😂
Everyone else: horrified silence again 😰
Danny:"Oh yeah I never got a grave. My parents still haven't noticed I'm dead yet. Which is weird cuz I died at home in our basement like TWO YEARS AGO. They turned it into a lab and they built this machine buuut they thought it didn’t work. *says the rest like it's a funny story* but they-haha-they put the on and off button!-snort- they put it on the inside so-ha- so when I went in and I tripped? I-giggle- I fell right on it!! And it-it flooded my body with soooo much electricity that IT KILLED ME!! So now I have super powers! hahaha like isn't that crazy? Ha I'd like to see you guys have a better origin story. Whew *wipes tears of laughter *
Everyone else: horrified silence again 😰
Someone *Sadly*: "How-how old were you? When... you died?"
Danny *swinging his feet and humming a cheery tune*: Oh it was on my 14th birthday. My friends came over celebrate with me and they were gonna take a picture of me in the machine but then I accidentally turned it on. And POW! Dead.
Everyone else: horrified silence once again 😰
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Eddie is weird.
It's something that Steve knew long before he actually knew Eddie, the older boy's oddities and eccentricities on display for anyone to see. Past Steve used to roll his eyes whenever Eddie would push against the flow of normal, but present Steve enjoys it, Eddie's brand of different.
That's really the reason why he pretends not to notice when Eddie takes things.
Nothing crazy, nothing valuable, and that's honestly the real reason he hasn't said anything about it. He watches Eddie pocket bottle caps from the kids' sodas and paper clips from the Family Video counter, even the little tables from the pizza boxes when they have a movie night.
Steve doesn't understand why Eddie collects these little odds and ends, just sees it as another one of his quirks. Until he finally sees where everything is going.
They're walking to the corner store that's fairly close to the trailer park, the sun on its way to setting but not quite there yet. The conversation that flows between them is easy, easier than Steve ever thought it could be, and it makes something in him want to curl up and purr like a contented cat.
He's telling Eddie about something that happened at the grocery store today, when the older boy makes a soft noise of delight before crouching and grabbing something from the pavement. Steve barely gets a look at the penny, but he can tell from just a glimpse that it's seen better days and has more than likely been run over by a few cars, if the scratches on it are anything to go by.
Eddie makes another happy noise as he stands once more and tucks the coin into his jacket pocket, and Steve picks his story back up like nothing happened. It doesn't get mentioned at all, but Steve can see the extra pep in Eddie's step, like he's so excited over something so simple, yet trying to contain it.
His silent joy is contagious, and by the time they get back to the trailer, they're practically plastered together at their sides and giggling like children. Steve nearly forgets about the penny, until Eddie drops his bag of snacks onto the little kitchen table and beelines to his room. So, so curious, Steve leaves his own bag next to Eddie's before following.
The older boy is crouched on the floor by the bed, and Steve watches as he pulls out what appears to be a shoebox, possibly for a pair of work boots, and sets it on the bed. Steve gets a brief look at the lid and the chicken-scratch Crow Box written on the top before Eddie opens it, and a few things quickly make sense.
The box is full of little things, even more than what Steve has seen Eddie take and pocket, a clear sign that that has been ongoing for years. Little plastic dinosaurs and incredibly smooth or shiny rocks, a chain of colored paper clips and a plastic cup full of acorn hats. There's even an old pencil box that appears to house a small hoard of bottle caps, all different colors, tucked in neatly next to a handful of the pizza tables.
The whole collection is actually well organized, and Steve watches as Eddie takes the new penny from his pocket and drops it into a tin can full of other scratched and beaten coins.
"That's quite a collection," Steve says without even thinking, and Eddie looks up with wide eyes, like he wasn't expecting Steve to follow. Steve just crouches down next to him, resisting the urge to reach out and pick up one of the acorn hats, or one of the dinosaurs. "Any reason behind it?"
Eddie just shrugs and looks down at the box. He takes one of the shiny rocks and offers it to Steve, who gladly takes it and rolls it in his fingers. "They're weird, or actually, they're things that are so normal, they're invisible. Things people usually don't think about, or throw out, or walk right by. They're… different. But I like them."
God, Steve has never related to a feeling more. Seeing something that other people just brush off or ignore and wanting to be the one to cherish it.
"I can get that," he says as he drops the rock back into the cup with its siblings. "I mean, you're different, and I like you, so." His heart in his throat, Steve leans in and presses a kiss to Eddie's cheek before standing, and he again finds himself caught in Eddie's wide-eyed surprise.
"Steve-"
"C'mon, crow boy. We've got a movie to watch."
#i wrote this all the way back in october and apparently it got lost in my drafts#oops#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#joey writes
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—so high school
pairing: theo nott x fem!reader
summary: he knows how to ball, you know aristotle and your friends know you’re a perfect match
warnings: a tiny bit suggestive, but mostly just cute fluff
note: this was so fun to write :)
@mqstermindswift
"you're already on page 200?" you didn't even hear the voice beside as you were so concentrated on staring at the slytherin table.
it was a rather warm thursday morning in november as you sat at breakfast with your friends. the hall was bustling with the excited chatter about the upcoming quidditch game between slytherin and gryffindor and it seemed like the team had never been fitter.
slytherin was a strong opponent, even the most stubborn gryffindor had to admit that.
"earth to y/n" hermione waved her hand before your eyes and you focused your eyes on her.
"huh?"
"ron asked you something" hermione nudged your arm softly and your head turned in ron's direction.
"yeah" you nodded, absentmindedly "what was your question?"
harry and hermione giggled, while ron looked a bit offended at your lack of interest.
"if you would stop staring at our biggest enemies, maybe you could hear what i'm saying"
"calm down" harry rolled his eyes "it's just a quidditch match"
"funny that you of all people are saying that" ginny spoke up from next to the boy "as if you weren't the one reserving the quidditch pitch every single afternoon for two weeks straight for practice"
"well, they're not bad at what they do, are they?" harry said defensively and ginny shrugged.
with a sigh, and a piece of paper in the middle to mark your page, you closed your book, having lost the last bit of interest in continuing.
"you just started this yesterday" ron resumed to the question he had asked you a few minutes ago "how come you're already so far in?"
"i'm just a quick reader"
"yeah, sure" hermione laughed "or maybe because reading a book gives you an excuse to stare at theodore nott from time to time, while he is doing his homework in the library"
"i'm not" you said rather loudly, before your voice returned to a whisper "i'm not staring at theodore nott"
"sure you aren't" hermione leaned closer over the table and send you a teasing glance. "i never even saw you so much as glance in his direction"
"yeah, right" you nodded, not catching the obvious sarcasm in her tone.
"eh, ladies?" harry asked with a turned head "he's coming right this way"
"what?" you and hermione asked at the same time as ron asked "who?"
"nott" harry quickly whispered, before said boy laid a hand on the tabletop right in front of the chosen one, his eyes clearly on you.
"hey" theodore nott said friendly and your eyes widened. he was wearing his usual slytherin uniform, but his tie was loosened as it was hanging around his neck. you had the sudden urge to fix it, but had the strength to hold you back from it.
"hi" you were quick to answer.
before he could explain what he was trying to do, ron interrupted your very short conversation "quite bold coming here" he raised his eyebrows at the boy.
"ron" hermione quickly scolded, but theo shook his head laughing.
"he's not wrong" theo said and then smiled at you "i'm rather bold"
hermione noticed that you and the boy were too busy staring at each other, so she did what she could to help you. "were you trying to ask y/n something, theodore?"
"yeah, actually" theo nodded and your heart was thumping so loudly, you feared he could hear it. "are you coming to the quidditch match next friday?"
ron groaned, which was quickly followed by a cry of pain as hermione kicked him under the table.
"sure" you smiled at the boy.
"great" theo smiled and his smile was so dreamy, you feared you would simply pass out. "i'll see you then" he tapped his invisible hat, before he turned around and walked back to the slytherin table where his friends were waiting for him.
you rested your chin on your hand, as you watched after him.
"is she coming to the quidditch match?" harry repeated confused.
"yeah" ron added, rolling his eyes "that is the stupidest question i've ever heard, i mean her own house is playing and her brother is captain of the team"
"maybe he doesn't know that" you muttered.
"doesn't know what?" hermione laughed "that you and harry are siblings? i highly doubt it"
"then why is he running around asking stupid questions?" ron crossed his arms. he was clearly not liking the way both you and hermione seemed so fond of the slytherin boy.
"good point" harry pointed in ron's direction.
ginny and hermione exchanged a look, before the latter began to speak. "you guys clearly don't get it. he wanted an excuse to speak to y/n"
"why should he want to speak to y/n?" ron seemed like he had made it his personal mission to sound like an idiot.
"ron!" ginny scolded before she hit the arm of her older brother "he wants to speak to y/n, because he's clearly in love with her"
you head spun around so fast, that harry almost choked on his pumpkin juice. "he's what?" you and ron asked at the same time.
"oh this is so romantic" ginny muttered while she stared at you dreamingly.
hermione couldn't help but smile at your horrified facial expression. "aren't you happy about that?" she laughed.
you shook your head. "happy?" you repeated "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me"
"i thought you liked him?" harry asked and you couldn't help but smile at the compassionate tone in his voice. he normally hated when you would speak about boys.
"i do" you admitted almost silently as your cheeks turned rosy. "but staring at him was so much easier than actually talking to him. him liking me back possibly means that we could get into a relationship. this is way too real"
"women" ron cried helplessly. "you never know what you want"
"oh i know what i want" you laughed sarcastically.
"and that would be?" harry asked and he seemed just as confused as ron.
"for that boy to stay far away on his side of the hall" you nodded, before you gathered your book and stood up from the table. "now, please excuse me, i have to go get my things before class starts. on top of that i spent enough time today talking about boys"
your friends smiled as you waved goodbye at them and left the great hall.
"she can't be serious, right?" harry asked hermione and ginny.
"i don't even know" hermione shrugged, before she quickly changed the topic, knowing you wouldn't appreciate them talking about you behind your back.
you walked through the corridor and in the direction of the gryffindor common room. it wasn't that you didn't like theo, it was more that you really liked him that was the scary part.
you had liked him since the beginning of the year and you were scared that reality couldn't come close to the fantasy you had build around the boy.
you admired so much about him. his interest in quidditch and that he, even when slytherin lost, was never unfair. he was smart, without being unkind to people when they were wrong. he liked silence as much as he liked talking to his friends. and sometimes when his eyes would fall upon you, there was a friendly glint in them which would make your heart flutter.
but maybe theo wasn't all that. maybe he was different than anything you had observed about him. you would prefer to always just imagine things, rather than having them destroyed. it wouldn't be his fault if he wasn't like you had imagined him to be, it would be all yours, but you would also hurt his feelings in the process and that just wasn't fair.
later, after the first few lessons of the day, you didn't go to lunch as you normally did, but sat down in the library, starting your potions essay.
"i see you're already on that, huh?" you shrieked at the sudden voice beside you. theo was leaning on the shelf next to you and raised his eyebrows at your expression. "i didn't mean to startle you"
"you didn't" you shook your head, but he could clearly see through your lie. "why are you here?" you asked, quickly distracting from what you had said.
"i was looking for you" theo said matter of factly as he walked around the table and sat down in front of you "you weren't at lunch so i came here"
"how did you know where i was?"
"i often see you reading or doing homework here, so i figured it was worth a try"
you nodded at his words. "and why were you looking for me?"
he laughed at your persistency "i fear i made an idiot ouf of myself at breakfast this morning"
"i don't think that's possible" your argued.
"it happens more often than you would think"
"does it now?" you laughed and theo closed his eyes as embarrassment flooded his features.
"i'm sorry" he said "i never seem to find the right words when talking to you"
you had to smile at the honesty with which he admitted that. "i don't think you're an idiot" you said softly and theo smiled relieved.
"i'm glad you don't" he stood up "it would be too bad if i already lost all my chances with you after two conversations. assuming i even have a chance with you?“
you watched his features closely. the lips that were turned upright in an unsure smile, the flushed cheeks and the glint of hope in his blue eyes. you thought for a moment, deciding that there was no reason for you to be afraid. the boy had clearly proved that he was as kind as you had imagined him to be. "yeah" you smiled up at him "you do"
"great" theo smiled "good luck on your essay"
"thank you" you watched him walk out of the library before you rolled up the parchment and took out your novel, deciding it was the right time to continue reading it, while your heart was fluttering inside your chest.
the next morning your were sitting at the gryffindor table as usual, turning the pages as you read your book and ate breakfast at the same time.
"you guys must be so excited for friday" luna said when she sat down next to ginny and harry. "this is your first game, right ron?"
ron eagerly nodded his head, the nerves playing inside his mind these past few weeks.
"he's a bit nervous" harry smiled and luna nodded understandingly.
"morning" a voice behind harry said and all your friends turned their heads.
"y/n?" ron asked at your lack of reaction.
"i warn you, if you're interrupting me to ask something unimportant again..." you mumbled, your eyes still fixated on the book in front of you.
"i don't think that's what he was planning to do" hermione giggled and you looked up, then turning your head in the direction in which she was looking, only now seeing theo standing next to you.
"good morning" theo repeated and you smiled.
"hey"
"may i?" he pointed at the empty spot on the bench beside you and you nodded.
hermione and ginny exchanged a look as harry and ron did the same.
theo muttered something into your ear, which none of your friends could hear, making you laugh and nod.
then he began eating like normal. occasionally he would whisper something at you, waiting for your answer, before the both of you referred back to eating and reading in your case.
your friends watched with wide eyes how quickly you and theo had fallen into a simple rhythm in which both of you were biting down at your toast and he would turn the page of your book anytime you nodded.
"is this the twilight zone?" ron whispered.
"how do you know what the twilight zone is?" hermione whispered back harshly and ron shrugged.
theo and you had finished eating, when he muttered something to you once again and you nodded, gathering your book as you both stood up.
"wait, where are you going?" ron asked.
"uh, doing our homework" you quickly excused, before you followed theo out of the hall, both of your giggling.
all of your friends had been watching you with dumbfounded expressions. and to their horror, the days of unexpected absurdities did not end there.
theo came to sit with you and your friends every day of the following week. engaging in friendly conversation and spending much time around you in general. on two mornings your friends had even seen you sitting with theo's friends.
theo even came to sit with you on the day of the quidditch match, going as far as wishing harry and ron luck.
later that day, when they were all sitting around in the courtyard, draco malfoy, followed by the rest of his friends, walked closer. you and theo had been nowhere to be found, as usual for this past week.
harry, expecting the usual kind of insults, sighed when his eyes fell on malfoy.
"malfoy" he greeted.
"potter" malfoy nodded and the gryffindors perked up at the lack of hostility in his tone. he looked to his friends (mattheo, lorenzo and blaise) and then back to the dark haired boy, before he sighed. "seems like your sister and our boy are in love now or something"
harry quirked a brow while him and hermione exchanged a look.
"and as much as i hate that, i think we'll have to expect some sort of—" he stopped, searching for the right word, while spotting a disgusted expression "involvement with each other"
"we don't need to be friends" harry shrugged and hermione nodded. ron rolled his eyes, annoyed that they were even talking with malfoy in the first place and ginny just seemed confused, as blaise raised his hand and waved at her, blowing her a kiss in the next second.
"i agree" draco nodded "but theo is, sadly, too kind for his own good"
"yeah" mattheo added as he saw the confused look on harry's features "he wants to make sure that there is no animosity between us and y/n's friends, as he put it"
"well, that's nice" hermione nodded impressed.
draco send her a tortured expression. "yeah, whatever"
"we just wanted to make sure that all of us agree to be respectful of theo's and y/n's relationship" enzo smiled and immediately received an elbow from draco to his side.
"no need to be so cheerful about it" the blonde boy muttered.
"anyway" hermione concluded, with a stern undertone in her voice, as she stepped next to harry, "we should all do what is best for our friends, right guys?" she turned around to also receive ginny's and ron's agreement.
ginny nodded "of course" before she nudged ron, until he reluctantly nodded his head as well.
"great" draco nodded, before he outstretched his hand to shake harry's "potter"
"malfoy" harry replied as he shook the boys hand, agreeing to give their rivalry a rest for the sake of their friends. "we're still going to destroy you in the game today"
"wouldn't expect any less" draco almost smiled.
the boys turned around to leave, blaise hitting harrys shoulder in a friendly manner, before they were interrupted by theo and you coming around the corner, laughing.
"hey guys" you greeted and to the gryffindors surprise, the slytherins replied to your greeting, which didn't seem as forced as them talking to your friends before.
theo nudged your shoulder, saying a quick goodbye, before he left you with your friends and followed his friends out of the courtyard.
"what the fuck?" ginny said the moment the boys had been far enough away and you had sat down in the grass beside her.
"i can't believe what just happened" hermione seemed just as surprised and harry nodded. even ron did not say anything.
"what?" you laughed as you looked between the stunned faces of your friends.
"i think draco malfoy just apologized or something"
"he did?" you wondered as you turned in the direction in which the boys had disappeared.
"i don't know what you did" harry said "but it's clearly more powerful than any kind of magic i've ever witnessed"
"i think theo really really likes you" hermione muttered "at least enough to have a stern word with his friends. it's important for him that they behave"
"we hung out with them a few hours ago" you explained "they're friendly and quite funny. even draco, when he wants to"
"i can't grasp this" ron mumbled "just a little more than a week ago you said theodore nott speaking to you was the worst thing that's ever happened and now you're both basically married, blending your families like in that adam sandler movie"
"what is it with you and muggle television references?" ginny muttered confused, while ron just shrugged once again.
"well, i don't know" you smiled "i had feared that he would be totally different than what i had expected, but he isn't. he is even better than that. he's funny and kind and speaking to him is so easy"
"you're really like him, don't you?" harry asked and you softly nodded as your cheeks turned red.
"i do" you looked between your friends "is that okay with you guys?"
"if even draco malfoy behaves himself just because theodore told him to, i fear that he can't get any more perfect for you" hermione joked "so of course it's okay with us"
"harry?" you asked hopeful as all eyes turned to your brother, not even ron dared to protest.
"i just want you to be happy" he shrugged "and it seems like that's all what nott wants too"
you smiled while you hugged him. "i'll have to change before the game, are you coming with?" you asked ginny and hermione, who excitedly giggled at the possibility to hear all the details on your and theo's afternoon.
you took your time getting ready for the game, loudly singing along to your favorite songs as you looked for the perfect outfit and did your make up.
ginny and hermione exchanged glances anytime you would speak about theo and your smile was so big you looked like you could've burst.
you arrived perfectly on time to the game. it took longer than any other one you had watched, both gryffindor and slytherin being strong teams and constantly cancelling each other out.
finally the game ended, when draco caught the snitch and the points of the slytherin outweighed the gryffindors.
the mood in the gryffindor stands was quite sour, but you couldn't help but be a bit excited for theo, who had thrown a lot of goals.
"hey" you smiled as theo came out of the slytherin changing rooms. his hair still dripping from the shower he had taken moments prior.
"hey" he answered "where are your friends?" he looked around you, noticing the almost empty gryffindor stands. it was cute that he worried they had just left you here.
"oh, i told them to go without me" you shrugged "i wanted to wait for you" theo smiled as that.
"then lets go" he outstretched his hand and you took it, like it was perfectly normal for you both to hold hands. "there's a party, at the slytherin common room"
"are you inviting me?" you laughed and theo nodded.
"yeah, i thought maybe you'd like to come"
"ron was right, i am absolutely fraternizing with the enemy"
theo shrugged, but nodded "looks like we're both going to hell"
you laughed at that, but quickly stopped when he let go of your hand. you looked up at him in surprise, but he did not say anything. instead he used his now free hand, to open the castles door for you.
you turned around as you waited for him to enter and close the door too.
“well, and they say chivalry is—“ he turned around joking, but was quickly interrupted by you pressing your lips to his. his bag hit the ground with a thud, as he pulled you closer by your hips.
the world seemed to fade away as you melted into the kiss. theo's arms tightened around you, his fingers pressing into the small of your back as if he never wanted to let go. the warmth of his touch and the intensity of the moment sent shivers down your spine.
breaking the kiss, you rested your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath. theo's eyes were darker, more intense than you'd ever seen them. "i've wanted to do that since you made draco trip in our third year" he whispered, his voice husky.
"what?" you laughed.
"i think he said something stupid like he normally does, but you had that expression on your face, like you wouldn't just let him get away with it and before i could finish thinking about what you planned to do, you raised your foot and draco fell over"
"oh, yeah" you giggled "i remember that"
"he whined for weeks about you and your stupid gryffindor friends" theo explained "and all i could think about was that you were the most beautiful girl i had ever seen. i wanted to speak to you ever since then, but never had the guts to"
"what changed your mind?" your voice was just above a whisper as you looked up to him with big eyes.
"my friends and you"
you furrowed your brows, confused how he meant that.
"well, my friends always tried to get me to just speak to you, but what really got me to do it, was when you started seeing me. back in third year i wasn't even sure you knew my name and then you had that boyfriend for two years and i thought everything was over, but then we ran into each other at the start of the year, do you remember?"
"i do" you admitted truthfully. you remembered it so clearly, it was the moment you had begun to like him, as he went to grab your book, that had fallen out of your hands and smiled up at you with such kind eyes.
"you thanked me for getting your book" theo recalled "and you actually knew my name"
"i didn't know you liked me for that long" you said "i thought i was just having a one sided crush on someone i could never have a relationship with"
"it's very far from one sided" theo smiled "and i promise i'll be better than any boyfriend you have had before"
you smiled at him, before you once again connected your lips. he walked you backwards, until your back was pressed against the wall. you were sure you had never met someone that was so good at kissing.
"no ones ever had me" you mumbled between kisses and catching your breath "not like you, theodore nott"
#theo nott fanfiction#theo x reader#theo nott x you#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott#hogwarts#hogwarts houses#harrypotterimagine#harry potter headcanon#harry potter#theo nott x potter!reader#slytherin group#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin#slytherin boys#draco malfoy#mattheo riddle#blaise zabini#lorenzo berkshire#harry potter fandom#ron weasley#ginny weasley#luna lovegood#lizzys1kfollowercelebration#theo nott x y/n#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott x you#theoandreader#so high school
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The rules are simple: Two wizards. Two pistols. No magic.
Now, don't misunderstand: "No magic" of course means "no magic now". The pistols are constructed using magic, of course. Wizards don't carry unenchanted firearms, that'd be silly. You don't spend years learning to bend all the rules of spacetime just to make a gun that shoots lead bullets using exploding powder. No magic just means you don't cast a shield spell while you're taking aim. But if you want to bring a gun you've designed to cast a shield itself when drawn? Go nuts.
So most wizards will have a dedicated dueling gun for these reasons. You want something that helps against the other wizard's enchantments, something that protects you from the effects of their bullets, and casts some protective magic on you. Shields, invisibility, illusions, healing... Your dueling pistol is usually a tricked out masterpiece of everything you know about magic and firearms.
Which is why this pistol in front of you is so worrying.
It's basically virgin. This is the product of a skilled gunsmith, not a wizard. There's no shields, no infinite ammunition, no enchantments on the bullets, which are mere lead and brass. There's some low level enchantments to strengthen the barrel from misfires, and the powder is enhanced to ensure it's always enough. That's the kind of magic you'd find on a pistol you buy from an average gun store, and it'd cost you only a few coins. This is the weapon of an unmagical security guard or a robber, not the dueling weapon of a world-class magician.
Veynor turned up his magic sense as far as he could without melting his eyes out of his head. Could it have an enchantment to hide other enchantments? No, unless they're being powered by half a city's worth of power. And even if they were, that much anti-magic would hide the low level enhancements on the barrel and the powder.
He asks if he can examine the bullets. "Bullet", says the nameless wizard, pulling out the empty magazine and showing it to Veynor. They pull back the slide and eject a single bullet, grabbing it in their other hand with practiced ease. They hand it over, and Veynor stares at it with the kind of intensity you only see when someone is looking not with their eyes. It's... Lead. Lead and powder and brass and a primer and the only magic here just makes sure the powder is sufficient to fire it. That's the kind of enchantment that you cast on a whole batch of bullets to ensure none will misfire, not the kind a wizard intricately carves into each bullet individually to give them a fighting chance in a magic battle.
Veynor hands back the bullet, and the nameless wizard loads it back in their pistol. It's a bluff, it has to be. They're trying to scare me, he thinks. Wizards know the inverse rule of subtlety and power. Your average wizard throwing fireballs and lightning is a student still in their first few years, while an old master will not need to do anything as flashy. They'll just wave a hand dismissively and your entire family line going back seven generations will retroactively be erased... So this has to be a trick. They know they're outclassed (Veynor has been at this for decades, after all), and are trying to psych him out. With a gun this cheap and unpowerful, they're betting that the more powerful wizard will call off the duel out of imagined danger.
Too bad. Veynor is not blinking at the bluff... "Let's do this".
They face away from each other, as if they could only see from their eyes. Veynor holds his pistol high, and the nameless wizard holsters it, their arrogance apparently extending to not needing to have it ready to fire. Another attempt at bluffing, as if Veynor could even call it off now. The rules are clear, and wizard rules aren't the kind you break without consequences.
They take their requisite ten paces, and Veynor flips around and takes aim, his pistol setting up shields and blurring his image as he takes aim at... Nothing? Where's the nameless wizard?! Did he flee? Veynor didn't feel any ripples from a teleport, he must have gone invisible. His gun continues casting spells on him, and he feels the enhanced vision kick in. The morning mist fades and the clouds in the distance come into view, but still no nameless wizard.
Veynor swears. The nameless wizard must have cheated. There's no way that gun could have done this. If it could, he would have seen the enchantment. Well, if they're cheating... He casts a review spell, rewinding time in his mind and watching the duel again. They face away, the take the steps. 1,2,3...
The cloud parts in the distance. There's a rumbling in the ground. Even with enhanced vision it's not obvious what happens. Veynor tries to dismiss the review magic but their magical control is going haywire. Something is very, very wrong. They start to feel like they're being pulled out to sea by an undertow, as the ambient mana field is suddenly becoming a raging river pulling past them.
In their vision, they see the nameless wizard stop at the end of their paces, and turn as they reach for their pistol. As the review ends, they see the holster glow with the colorless light of magic, as an enchantment activates. That's their trick, they placed magic on the holster! But what kind? And what's happening in the sky?
The clouds part to a black circle with a silver rim. The circle grows in size, seemingly, an Veynor casts a farsight spell now to see this from another angle. Casting his vision miles to the side, he sees the circle is a tube descending from the clouds at a shallow angle, pointed right at him... Oh sweet silent mother, that's the barrel of the pistol. It's now big enough to cross the inland sea, with a caliber better described in miles.
The sky goes dark as the barrel blots out the sun, the shadow stretching halfway to the way station at the edge of the wizarding wastes. With his senses stretched by the enchantments on his gun, he sees the events happening in slow motion. There's a click, and a hammer starts moving towards the back of the bullet.
Veynor tries to set up a teleport, an emergency one to anywhere, anyplace, any time but here. The flowing mana is making it difficult but he sees a destination: the abandoned fortress at the other end of the wastes. It'll be easier to get to than outside the wastes, and it'll give him time to set up another jump. The sky shatters as a sound starts coming his way.
With his slowed time sense, it'll be minutes before he can hear the gunshot, but already the shockwave is visible, even to the unaided eye. The bullet is supersonic, however, so no matter what happens he'll never hear that gunshot: either he teleports out of here or the bullet turns him and half the landscape into a fine paste.
He focuses his vision on the fortress, concentrating on finishing the teleport. The soundwave of the gunshot hits the fortress in his sight beyond sight, and it doesn't collapse, exactly, so much as cease being a structure and reverts back to a thousand small stones no longer sharing any association with each other.
With his destination destroyed, his teleport fizzles. The sky is still dark, but the mana flowing towards him has sped up to the point where he's having trouble staying upright, as his footing gets shakier and shakier. He looks up and sees the slug moving towards him at a bit more than the speed of sound, and he closes his eyes.
It doesn't help, his magical senses continue to show him the movement of objects around him, right up until the moment of impact.
The barrier around the wizard wastes goes white, and slowly fades back down through the colors until it returns to its normal semi-transparency.
The nameless wizard catches the hot brass in their right hand, before it hits the rapidly solidifying bedrock under their feet. The wizard wastes are self-healing (you'd be surprised how much even the average wizard duel destroys the landscape), but that's no reason to litter. They look at the deep crater they find themselves in, and start planning a route up the side. Most of it is still flowing, with the sand and rock intermixing in their white hot state, but there's spots here and there that are cooling quicker.
They could try a teleport, but it's a nice day for a bit of rock climbing. Besides, like they always say: half the trick of being a wizard is knowing when not to use magic. And right now the local mana field is a bit chaotic, having just gone through the equivalent of the Chicxulub impact.
They hike up their robes and begin to climb. Their feet may be heat proof, but they don't want to singe their robe again. It's a lot harder to enchant wool with heat protection spells, something to do with how the will of the former owner interferes. They make a note to do more research into the inherent magical abilities of sheep, once they climb out of this crater. Behind them, rocky ejecta finally crashes back into the crater. They wonder if the barrier has a roof, or if they just flung rocks onto the moons. They'll have to ask one of the lunar residents later, and make amends for any property damage.
They'll have to get lunch after this, all this climbing is working up an appetite. Maybe some mutton chops, since they were thinking about sheep? There's a good place on the bigger moon, they haven't been there in a while.
On the moon, there's a small impact, a puff of dust thrown up into the (lack of) air and slowly drifting back down. In the puddle-sized crater, a heavily enchanted pistol lies, still in perfect shape. The engraving on the side, readable in all languages, says "if found, return to Veynor". The dust lands on it, slowly burying it.
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whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)
a/n: if you have stuck around and waited u are INCREDIBLE thank u so much for ur patience <3 esp cos i'm still testing it with my slowburn lmao + tell me what u think lovelies and as always, enjoy
word count: 4.1k
synopsis: Azriel's shadows find a new way to torment their master. The question of forgiveness follows you. Cassian gets you in the ring, testing out newly learnt skills.
CHAPTER TEN :: SHADOWS
Azriel is a spy by his very nature.
It makes sense; the gift of Shadowsinger is never bestowed so lightly so that it could ever leave any doubt of the user. Shadowsingers are spies, even well before their gifts revealed themselves. Always watching. Always listening.
It was, then, a tad against his disposition to keep his nose out business that wasn't his — as that was precisely what Azriel did best.
But his decision was resolute. Azriel had promised himself he would not be the first to break the distance between you two.
However, for a fae over five-hundred years old, it's quite unsettling to yet again feel the pangs of impatience. Years of practicing restraint and then, in a mere few months, his hard earned patent for patience begins to fray at the ends. You'll be his undoing, he's sure of it.
Like a young and fresh-faced warrior itching for battle, it's almost embarrassing how Azriel can't seem to stay away from you. His feet wander and all paths lead to you.
His shadows are not helping.
Azriel thinks they've managed to get more insistent, which he hadn't really believe was possible. They've proven him oh-so wrong. When he walks the halls of the House of Wind, the dark wisps dart out, as though trying to tug him along.
He had trusted them all of two times before, face flushed and with an ungraceful but thankfully unnoticed exit, he learned just where they were leading him.
They were following the invisible thread between you, taking him to see his mate.
When it became clear he wasn't going to be coerced along, his shadows had only got more devious.
It's a particular brand of torture, Azriel thinks, to be delivered little parcels of knowledge of the person he's not allowing himself to see.
And they're ruthless about it. Whispers about how you're healing and the growing steadiness of your feet, the way you stand a little taller each day, about the tentative trust extended to Cassian.
Gods, that one had made his hand jerk across the paper in surprise, spilling a patch of ink onto the report he was in the middle of.
You were talking to Cassian— no, you were nearly friends with Cassian. The magnanimous hope had ballooned within him before Azriel remembered to stomp it back down.
Mor had teased him for the black stains on his hands during dinner.
He studies them now, nearly washed away completely, before he lifts his head. In the cool air of dusk, Azriel surveils the training ring from the shadows of the door, eyes scanning across the balcony.
It's empty, as expected. The rising moon is his only company.
You've stuck to training in the mornings, of course.
He's relieved and disappointed all at once—then Azriel forces that disappointment out of his system with a frustrated huff.
He is not allowed to be disappointed. Your trust is something he still needs to claw his way back to, to earn, and that required waiting and accepting that.
Azriel would see you... when you wanted to see him.
Despite his resolve, the thread between you still gives a futile tug before he can stop it. Scowling at himself, he rubs at his chest meanly, banishing the feeling. He steps down onto the balcony and heads towards the equipment.
As his scarred hands reach out and pluck one of the training staffs off the rack, his shadows twirls and trill, an almost teasing motion. It takes one pointed whisper, one tug on his heartstrings —they used that one just earlier today— before his hands are glowing warm from the second-hand touch.
His fingers spring apart and the staff hits the tiles with a loud clatter. Even though it's just him out on the balcony, he still casts an awkward glance around him. Gods
If his brothers could see him now, Azriel thinks dryly.
He swats at the shadow that had unhelpfully fed him the information. It dances away from him, swooping down to circle the staff on the ground with its others, a mass of black surrounding it.
Azriel bends down and gingerly picks up the staff, his hazel eyes staring at it for a long moment. Where your hands have been.
After a moment, his fingers curl around it. His marred hands feel like they're glowing again, warm and tingling, even if he knows it's all in his mind. Even so, he swears the golden thread between you hums, just ever so slightly.
He'll allow himself this, just this once, Azriel decides. His grip tightens and he heads to the ring, preparing to train, his hands where yours were just mere hours before.
—
The day after you had met Cassian, as the dawn breaks over sky, you find him on the training balcony before you.
You're a little later than you'd normally be, the sun actually rising before you do. You're moving a little more sluggishly too, but for once it's for a better reason.
Sleep, normally light and fitful for you, had actually been a reprieve last night. You slept deeply, falling into dreamless slumber and resting properly.
When morning crept in, dragging your eyelids up had felt like a mountainous amount of effort. Part of you wonders if it's because of the male across the balcony from you.
Allies, you had agreed upon.
It's a little easier to rest when you've made one less enemy.
Watching him now, stretching his supple and bulging arms, you have to force down the instilled anxiety that festers up, a force of habit that's kept you safe all these years.
You're not in Exordor anymore. You're not keeping any secrets.
Cassian clocks your hesitant stance in the doorway as he turns, a wide grin breaking across his face. His wings perk up, a genuine sign of his excitement. He stops his stretching momentarily to wave.
"Morning!" He calls out, despite the fact the distance between you doesn't require him to do so.
"Ally." He adds pointedly, leaning over to give an over the top wink.
Somewhere buried deep inside you, a laugh almost wants to wriggle free, but it's smothered before you can think too hard. You give him a wry smile instead, the best you can manage, and take a tentative step down onto the balcony. Your wings give a tiny shiver in the passing breeze.
"Good morning," You manage to return, the words sticking in your throat on the way up. It's awkward but nothing in Cassian's friendly demeanor changes to indicate he's noticed. Your feet lead you over towards the weapons rack.
It's as you reach them do you realise your heart is rabbiting wildly, pounding in your chest, stewing you in discomfort. The hair on the back of your neck rises, prickling with unease. Your back is turned to a fierce warrior, one that could very well attack you.
And worse, you'll be training next to him, still not healed, still stumbling on your feet—revealing all the ways to strike you down.
You—you haven't done this, ever. You haven't trained with someone completely as yourself, with no facade to hide beneath. It suddenly becomes incredibly vulnerable.
Your hand trembles as you reach out for the training staff and you try your best to swallow down your nerves.
Cassian has kept his distance, resuming his stretches, but you don't miss how his eyes dance over to you every couple of seconds. For a moment, it alarms you but as you find a place and settle into your stance, you steal another glimpse.
It's more like... a dog wagging its tail, you think faintly.
You press down the urge to smile and begin your exercises.
There's all of ten minutes of silence before it gets broken.
"How do you like Velaris?"
You pause in your motions, huffing to catch your breath as your grip the training staff loosens. You cast a glance over at Cassian who's now picked up one of the broadswords, beginning to throw its weight around easily.
You blink and for a moment, your eyes dart out over the edge of the balcony, to the city teeming with life, so close and yet so far from you. A part of you aches fiercely to see it.
"I... haven't been into the city." You answer honestly. It comes out curt and doesn't exactly answer his question.
Eyeing his sword nervously, your force your aching muscles through another series of exercises. You're a sliver better than the day before but when your ear twinges loudly, you still stumble, a minuscule motion. Your heart lurches up your throat, frustration welling like a tidal wave within you.
"Okay, then how do you like the House of Wind?"
You pause again, looking over to Cassian tentatively, the pain in your ear momentarily forgotten. The rising frustration in you dissipates at the distraction. He waves a casual hand over to the house you've been residing in since you arrived in Velaris and smiles once more.
You swallow thickly. What is his angle here?
"I haven't..." You struggle to put your thoughts into words. It's... different. New. Unsettling. You don't want to say the wrong thing. For all you know, this may well be his home.
Eventually, you find your voice. "I like my room. It's—" Several words ping to the front of your mind. "—big."
You cringe. Some compliment that is. You're too honest even if it is true; you're far too used to the familiar cramped space of your own cabin. Even sharing walls with others is foreign to you and you're incredibly thankful you haven't run into anyone unexpectedly in any corridors yet.
It doesn't occur to you that it might entirely be by design, thanks to Rhys' strict instruction.
Cassian grins. "Yes, I recall Illyria being hardly known for it's roomy cabins."
He swings the sword around with a flick of his wrist, more like an idle motion than anything. Your eyes still flicker down keenly, watching for any threat, just in case.
"So, you haven't explored the house much then?" Cassian continues, feigning a stab forward with the sword, his eyes on his motions but his attention still focused primarily on you.
You follow his lead and swing the training staff again, in an arching whoosh. You shake your head in answer to his question.
"Do you want to?"
"Do you always talk this much during training?"
The words come out before you can think to check them, sucking in a sharp breath as you realise how snappy that sounded. Like you're looking for a fight.
You ready yourself to sink into a defensive stance, before you realise that Cassian has only laughed in response. A curl of his tied back hair comes loose as he shakes his head, the action almost... fond.
"Only when I'm trying to make friends." He grins warmly, eyes flicking up to meet yours. "Sorry, I'll stop prying."
You swallow and nod slightly, hoping it won't be read as rude. Though you'd had a hard time believing it, Cassian had been true to his word; no fighting unless it was in the ring. You hadn't dared to go near it yet.
Readjusting your stance, you prepared to go through the motions once more. It's still a bit more of the juvenile exercises than you're used to—forced back to the basics as you retrain your body—but also because you're solitary training. You're used to sparring with others.
Stealing a glimpse at Cassian, you ponder if—if you might, eventually that is, train alongside him as you had done with Azriel.
Moving the training staff deftly, you thrust it forward and twist your lithe body to dart forward again, a small patter of your feet on the stone.
It's maneuver used for rushing opponents, throwing them off their balance and driving them backwards. It works for you, mostly, but the way your wings cut through the air, the slightest whistle through the holey scars, makes you a little unsteady.
"You fight like you're bigger than you are."
Straightening up, you breathe heavily and peer around the edges of your wings back at Cassian—who apparently isn't done talking at all.
He nods to you, in reference the maneuver you've just performed. "That is a move usually far better suited for someone of a larger stature."
You clear your throat, wings curling in a bit closer around you. "Yes. Azriel, he- he was trying to rectify that. There's only one way to train Illyrians, as I'm sure you know."
Cassian nods again, lowering the sword to hang at his side. "That I do. However, I feel Azriel may have been taking the wrong approach given... the information he was not privy to at the time."
Your brows knit together, something wrong twisting tightly in your chest.
"Because I'm..."
Female.
"Not a male?"
The words come out sharp without meaning to.
Cassian's picks up on your defensiveness, his expression softening. He gives a little so-so motion with his free hand, his wings rustling behind him. "A bit, but not for reasons you may think."
When you don't speak, he continues, his explanation unfurling.
"Your centre of gravity is different to ours. That actually changes the best way for you to fight. More of your strength comes from these—"
He slaps his hands down onto his thighs with a grin.
"—than from your arms. For that reason, there are moves you will be better at than what you've been taught."
Cassian cocks his head, his dark eyes squinting for a moment, deep in thought. "Azriel likely switched your training to agility based, didn't he?"
You nod gingerly. You had no idea if what he was said was true. If there was a fighting style suited to females. That would require... female warriors which, for all you've ever known, is a highly unlikely thing to exist.
Though, being he is the General of the Night Court's armies, you'd likely assume Cassian knows what he's talking about.
He nods, that same easy smile. "He was right to do so. Most camps focus on brute strength and stamina. Makes for good warriors that can take hits and keep going. You can train that way if you still wish but you might find you excel when your efforts are put elsewhere."
It takes a long moment before you realise exactly what his words mean.
An offer. He's offering to train you, to teach you.
Pleasant surprise blooms inside you, warm, curling up behind your ribs like a purring cat. Cassian's eyes are light and friendly, his body language relaxed as though if you turn him down, it'd be of no consequence to him. Merely an offer.
You turn it over in your mind, back and forth. The gentle wind from the mountains caresses across your cheekbones, a warm touch.
Inside, deep in your chest, there's something telling you to trust. To take the step forward, to accept Cassian's outstretched proposal. That you might regret it if you didn't.
"How?" Your eyes skirt up and down on instinct, still on alert for a threat that isn't coming.
Cassian grins infectiously, not even attempting to hide his glee. He rolls his shoulders back and assesses you once more.
"Have you ever heard of the headscissor takedown?"
—
Flesh hits stone, a large shuddering bang that echoes out the courtyard. In the distance, a couple birds take flight, squawking loudly. Pain ricochets through your knees, a warbling and jarring pain that has you gritting your teeth.
"You're..." Cassian's breath comes out raggedly. "Incredible!"
He beams from where he's pinned beneath you and your pain dashes away in a moment, something gleaning and prideful taking its place.
There's a rivulet of blood under his nose, his hair knocked loose, and you know hitting the ground as hard as he did won't have been nice. He continues on as if he hasn't.
"That was perfect form. You're a Cauldron-born natural!"
You huff a breath that might be an actual laugh this time and quickly retract yourself, standing to your feet. You waver momentarily, hesitance poisoning your thoughts, before you decide. Holding out your hand to help, Cassian is quick to put his hand in your own and use it to lug himself up.
When he gets to his feet, his grip loosens but he doesn't let go altogether.
"Hey," He says, more serious this time. His fingers around your wrist, soft and warm, still make your pulse jump nervously. You force yourself to meet his gaze, still friendlier than ever. "Seriously. You're very skilled and you're a fast learner. You've got the makings to be lethal. The Night Court is lucky to have you on our side."
His hand slips back, grazing your wrist, and you wonder if he can feel the way your heart skips a beat.
No one has ever been... lucky to have you. It's so foreign that hearing someone say it aloud makes you forget to breath for one long second.
"I—" The word pushes out before you think about it. "That's... You-"
Praise is not a part of Illyrian training. You fumble with it, feeling entirely out of your depth, feeling oddly proud of yourself. It feels like your cheeks are warmer than usual.
Cassian chuckles, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. "You're welcome." He says pointedly, making you realise you're supposed to say thank you after someone compliments you.
You flounder for another second, making Cassian laugh again, louder this time. He reaches forward and lightly taps you on the shoulder, a faux punch.
"You'll get used to it." He says. Part of you really, really wants to. "Now, c'mon. Let's go again. Hit me."
—
You think that now Cassian's got what he wanted—the two of you training together, learning the plethora of new moves, stances, blocks he has in his repertoire—he wouldn't have anymore questions.
You're sorely, sorely, wrong.
Two mornings later, the pair of you prepare for some sparring with the swords in the ring. Cassian's purposefully picked one of the heavier ones for himself, broad and long, but he'd put aside a blade for you.
It's smaller, lighter. It reminds you of Heartstriker.
Which reminds you of Azriel.
The mere thought of him has your heart humming, miserable and elated all at once. You're still not sure if you'd like to see him just yet, the confusing twist of betrayal too fresh, but still, some part of you seeks him out, consciously or not.
You want to wander the halls until you find the door to leads to him.
It's because he was your first friend. You reason, as you step up towards the sparring ring. He was the first person you trusted. Was? Is—maybe.
Do you still trust him?
Cassian is already in the ring, waiting as patiently as he can. His rustling wings give him away, even as casual as he looks leaned up against one of the corner posts.
His wings are stretched out, towards the sun's rays that are just beginning to slip over the horizon, trying to steal some of their warmth.
A yawn slips past your lips. The night of restful sleep was an outlier it seemed, the tendrils of a calming, easy sleep stolen away just as quickly.
Fingers curling around the hilt of the short sword, you step gingerly into the ring, eyes casting across to your opponent. You roll your shoulders back, warming up the muscles a bit more, and give your own wings a little shake. A shiver wracks through you in response, the chill of the morning touching on sensitive scars.
"Is there a particular reason Azriel is avoiding you?"
Your head snaps up at the sound of Cassian's voice, cool and calm.
He hasn't shifted, though his wings are tucked back in now. His sword is still relaxed at his side, his worn hand tucked around the hilt of it freely.
The usual chattiness that Cassian has been able to coax out of you these last few days shrivels up. Azriel is avoiding you? You hadn't wanted to see him but this—something curls up inside you, sour and foul. You swallow hard.
"I hadn't realised." You murmur, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into your words.
Cassian blinks and seems to realise his mistake. He waves a hand dismissively, as if it can scratch away his last words. "I misspoke. I believe he is... keeping his distance."
He furrows his brow, face pinched, picking his words carefully. "For your sake." He adds.
You... don't know how you feel about that. On one hand, you're relieved. It's not by pure chance that you haven't seen him yet, it's purposeful—he's keeping out of your way, giving you peace.
On the other hand, something twined in your chest pangs sorrowfully, mourning the distance between you.
While Cassian's presence as an ally (or perhaps, you'll even admit, a friend) is comforting, you'll admit it does not fill the same shape in you as Azriel does. You miss him, quite terribly so.
"What makes you think he's avoiding me?" You ask.
Cassian gives an little shrug, his head tilting to the side just a bit. He smiles in a way that tells you he knows more than he lets on. Or maybe, he simply knows Azriel far better than you do.
"He usually trains in the morning." He explains nonchalantly. "He's taken to training at night since your arrival."
You frown at the new information. You don't want Azriel to be changing things for you, to bend and warp his routines in his home, just for you. You don't want him to avoid you either, even if you're beginning to think you might never be brave enough to face him.
He left you. He was your first friend and the betrayal of that is entirely too new— but you don't know where to draw the line.
You don't know for how long you're allowed to be upset — or how long you can let this go on before you're punishing yourself just as much as you are him.
Flexing your grip on the sword, you stare across at Cassian and when you open your mouth, the words tumble out with warning.
"He..." Your breath hitches.
Something awful hooks into your chest, remembering the way he had folded himself into shadows, away from you. The look on his face.
"He left me. When I needed him more than ever." You admit.
Your voice doesn't waver but Cassian can still see the slight tremble in your shoulders, rolling in. Your eyes have dropped to study the floor of the sparring ring, seemingly lost in the memory.
Cassian's face softens, his heart aching for you. You don't even notice how your own wings have begun to curl in, a soft, comforting blanket around yourself.
It's clear you're struggling to juggle the myriad of emotions that haunt you and he gets it, Mother, does he get it. It had been hard the first time, during those first tentative months of friendship with Rhys, before Azriel was even in the picture. Cassian had one emotion that served him any purpose and that was spite.
Spite kept him alive. Spite told him who to knock down and who to put down.
Friendships and spite are not the greatest combination. When Rhys had done something Cassian had vehemently disagreed with, it had felt like a deception, stinging as badly as the backhand from Lord Devlon, sneering the word bastard.
It took time to undo the messy tangle of emotions, to learn that not all betrayal fell into the same box. That forgiveness for some people was not weakness at all.
So, Cassian asks. "Did he come back?"
You glance up at him, eyes flickering with emotion at the question. After a moment, you swallow and say. "Yes. He did."
Cassian nods. He stretches his wings out a bit and reaches up to push a stray piece of hair behind his ear.
"Alright. How long do you intend to punish him for that mistake?"
You freeze at that question and Cassian can tell he's hit the right spot. You're unsure how long you should—because all you know is that you're hurt. And when you're hurt, you don't know any other way to deal with it.
There's only one pathway ingrained for when someone hurts you. Cassian realises suddenly, Mother help him, that he must try to be good at the talking side of things. He needs to show you there's other ways you can go.
"Because," He continues, not waiting for your answer. "I can assure you that Azriel will punish himself for far longer and far harsher than you ever will. I've known my brother a long time. If there anyone who understands the gravity of his actions and will torture himself over them, it's Azriel."
A hesitant expression shutters across your face, your brows furrowing slightly. Cassian doesn't need Rhys' daemati gift to understand the conflict that's battling within you.
"You think I should forgive him."
You don't pose it as a question. A little bit more of that iciness has bled back into your voice, on guard again.
Cassian can tell that, like him, you don't take well to being told what to do. That's fine; Cassian has no intention of doing that whatsoever.
"I think that is your decision entirely." Cassian says, letting the words breathe so they truly sink in. He watches as your eyes narrow momentarily and then your shoulders relax, sinking down an inch.
"But," He says gingerly. "If you avoid each other, you might never move past this. Might never move forward. It might be worth considering what you really want at the end of the day."
The sun has properly broken across the mountain ridges, no longer just sparse rays. You turn your face, facing towards the warmth. There's still that scrunch between your eyebrows, betraying your deep thought, but Cassian has said enough for now.
He moves his sword and taps the end of it against the stone, a soft steel ping grabbing your attention. You whip your head back to face him and Cassian grins, raising his sword.
"Enough talking. More fighting."
You smile, a little hesitant but entirely genuine, and raise your sword in response. That's one thing you're sure you know how to do right.
tags below!
@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover
@waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco
@iamjimintrash @maendering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee
@viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13
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@lovingkelj @itsswritten @breadsticks2004 @marina468 @sapphena
#MORE CASSIAN HELL YEAHHHHH#just a couple of besties who love to fight <3#also azriel! even if there is no interaction there's azriel in this one!!!#sorry the pining must be done. there must be PINING#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger x you#wtssf#azriel fic#azriel acotar#whom the shadows sing for (and the thief’s echoing hymn)#whom the shadows sing for#sloane writes#also i put out that poll and then was like ok this thang is already 4k. we must split it#but trust the rhys interaction is gonna be GUUUUD#also the chapter name!!!#is not about az's shadows! tho it is a fun lil crossover#but u know how you shadow someone.....#that's them rn <3
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You know that Post about Danny becoming the False Villian, Expose?
To train all these kids, who are running around with shitty priorities and the self preservation instincts of lemmings? Because they were arrogant. Didn't listen to the concerns of those they "protect". Didn't listen to the concerns of a fellow Hero. So now, they WILL learn, at the hands of a "Villian".
Cause he TRIED pointing things out nicely.
Was met with a brick wall of condescension and dismissal.
THAT post.
You know where he would not only do that, but go APESHIT into it? Because he is a Hero and holy SHIT these kids are gonna get themselves killed? Gonna kill somebody ELSE? Have fucked up priorities and live in a fucked up system they do not even question?
Boku No Hero Academia.
Why the FUCK are you posing for the cameras? Why the absolute FUCK are you beating that man down on the worst day of his life, instead of TALKING him down? Why are you jumping too conclusions and splitting up and playing for the crowds? Why. The ABSOLUTE AND UNFORGIVING FUCK do you seem to ASSUME that every innocent soul, that doesn't look default generic human, is the AGGRESSOR in every situation you arrive at?!
Danny would have a conniption. Just a full body rage seizure, as his Ghost-y lil brain LIT UP with the BURNING NEED to fix everything, everywhere, at once. Right. Now.
But do they listen?
Ha!
Cool, cool cool cool cool..... he's gonna burn the entire country dow- No! That way lies Dan! Breathe, Fenton. Just.... Breathe. You can fix this.
The older ones may be set in their ways, but the younger ones are still learning. They can get better. BE better. They're kids. They just need opportunities to grow. And they WANT to be Heros, right? All he has to do is show them HOW. Poke their weak spots and point out their mistakes.
He can do that!
And just? Out of NO WHERE? This foreign villian decends upon Japan? What's worse, seeming to TARGET HEROS STUDENTS. Young, just debuted, Heros. Everyone freaks out. Older Heros closing rank, where they can, to try and Protect These Kids(tm).
But they can't be everywhere at once.
And this menace? Seemingly CAN be. Can make copies of himself. Use Ice. Fly. Energy beams. Intangiblity. Invisibility! What monster are they DEALING with?! That plays the flamboyant fool, dispensing deadly peril, only to then turn around, and in chilling sobriety absolutely destroy seasoned heroes?
That LECTURES them while doing it.
He's undermining the people's faith in the system!
(But should they have faith in it? Doesn't he have good points? Aren't they getting stronger, faster, better heroes for facing him? Where did he come from? Hasn't anyone else noticed that not a single civilian has gotten hurt, at his hands? That he annihilates any true villians foolish enough to think he's on their side?)
(How many "thugs" and "minor villians" have these guys not noticed, they wonder, who have just... disappeared. Come into contact with this guy and then? Stopped. Turned up somewhere else, weeks later, healthy again. Smiling with illegal lifestyle support gear, a new job, a new life, and better future. Finally free of the violence.)
Amity may be at peace by the time Danny turns 20(-ish? Maybe? Is he? Clockwork! How old IS he? You've sent him on so many of your weird timebend-y missions he lost count!). But? Danny is a Heroic Protector Spirit. His Obsession has demands. And his Human sides Space Obsession will never really be quite strong enough to support him.
You know, since it can't die.
Just because it HAS a Soul aspect to it, doesn't mean it'll ever come into practical use. So? The more powerful Heroic instincts it is! And honestly, he wasn't even planning to STAY. Just check the place out. You know, compare his options. But... *twitch*
They Are Doing It Wrong.
So now he lives here!
.....it's awful! They don't even have any space exploration! No studying, no stars, no futuristic moon base! Nothing! And he doesn't even SPEAK Japanese! In human form? He has no idea what anyone is saying! At least the Sorta-But-Not skeleton Ghost guy across the hall is helping. Dude might be taller then his DAD. Seriously ecto-starved though. It's like he somehow GAVE all his body's ecto to someone else!
How's he supposed to heal like that?! Guy really needs to learn how to take care of himself.
@hdgnj @babbling-babull @lolottes @nerdpoe @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation
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