#they're obsessed with Starfleet

[thresholdbb]

I still think they should just get the Borg drunk. They'd stumble over themselves like, "I love you, Federation!"

[foone]

you know what'd be a fun idea for a trek fanshow? Star Trek: Mission Logs. You just put a couple people in starfleet uniforms, and have them read off summaries of episodes in an increasingly incredulous tone. Like Drunk History: Star Trek Edition.

"so the captain says that while on the way to the inauguration ceremony, they diverted course to Vulcan as their first officer needed SO MUCH to fuck that he was a week from death, but then when they got there, he got stood up, and then fought the captain TO DEATH but he was ok?"

"so it turns out when they disappeared during the battle with the borg, they went back in time and found out that the first use of warp drive had been undone, so they had to personally help Cochrane rebuild his ship, and they were there for first contact!?"

I say "drunk history" because I imagine the people at the starfleet HQ have to drink heavily to handle the kind of reports they keep getting in from starfleet captains.

"So after a miserable first contact, the commander, doctor, first officer, and science officer disappeared, and their security officer found that the boardgame the barkeep was playing had pieces that represented them? and they were somehow mystically imprisoned inside the game!"

"so the captain says that they detected a ship trapped inside a black hole (!?) and when they tried to rescue the ship, they got damaged and then discovered they were that ship, trapped inside without realizing. Fortunately they found the crack in the event horizon and escaped." (the lieutenant then passes out after finishing the entire bottle of Bolian vodka)

"So while they were on a vital mission to locate the aliens who had blown up florida and were planning to destroy the entire planet, they found a... Cowboy Planet!?" Everyone yells "COWBOY PLANET!" and takes a shot.

"So while testing a weapons upgrade, a crewmember's case of flu was accidentally turned into an infectious de-evolutionary mutagen, causing the crewmember to turn into a spider, and the rest of the crew to undergo similar changes." "stop, stop, STOP! you made that one up, admit it!" "no, really! Their counselor turned into a frog." "ok, now I'm just not going to believe anything you say."

"so a former captain of the ship was visiting when they tried to rescue a ship flying directly into a supernova, but got 'pulled in'!? and ended up in a REVERSE TIME UNIVERSE? naturally, everyone quickly de-aged to children, and the elderly former captain had to take command" "Spelk, you're not even trying this time, that's not even remotely plausible"

"So it turns out that the terrorist who took over the paradise planet was the first officer's (half-)brother, and he uses his magic hypnosis to cause the crew to mutiny and join his mission to travel to the middle of the galaxy... and find god!?" "Did... did they find god?" "oh yeah! turns out he was evil. Don't worry, the first officer blew him up using a klingon warbird." "he blew up god?" "yeah!"

"So this is a little different, it's not a mission log... it's a repair log." "That doesn't sound like it'd be very weird..." "Oh, just you wait. So, they had to get refueled because all their dilithium had been stolen." "Stolen?" "Yes. By a man from AN ANTIMATTER DIMENSION" "So a man in an antimatter dimension discovered there were two dimensions, and his matter counterpart went insane and obsessed with killing the anti-matter version of him, but meeting outside the dimensional corridor would destroy both universes" "both... universes? So if the captain didn't stop these guys, everyone in our entire universe and some other one would be gone?" "YEP!" "did he stop them? well, I guess he did, since we're still here" "oh yeah. trapped 'em in the dimensional corridor forever." "so they're just out there in some weird in-between-the-universes place, just fighting, for all time? and that's the only reason we haven't blown up?" "YEP!" "and this all came out in the logs... because they put in for repairs?" "yeah. to replace the stolen dilithium" "are you sure the captain wasn't really into dabo or kotra and wagered the dilithium crystals on a "sure thing" that didn't pan out?"

"So this one is a report of some people (with pictures!) who don't exist." "They don't exist?" "Nope! never did. They weren't born." "So, we have pictures of them, because?" "Well, the ship crashed, and the stranded crew had kids... then they uncrashed." "uncrashed?" "yeah! so it turns out when they approached the planet, they got thrown a couple centuries back in time, and met their descendants. then when they tried to leave, the ship would crash, restarting the loop. but it didn't." "it didn't?" "yeah, one of the crew was secretly in love with another officer, but she wasn't going to survive the crash, so despite the crew attempting to recreate the crash to continue the existence of their past-future-descendants, he sabotaged the ship into not crashing" "wait, into not crashing? he did sabotage to make everything... work perfectly?" "yeah! they were trying to crash, remember? So they inadvertently didn't crash, undoing the existence of all of their descendants, so they never existed. But here's their pictures!"

"ooh, I found a really weird one! It's not a mission report, medical file, or even another repair log" "So what is it? Another weird artifact?" "no no no, I sent those off to the SCP division. This is a SPY REPORT! About a dead Romulan!" "So this report is on a spy saying that the Romulans had gotten access to some secret information about the then-upcoming Intrepid-class starships. Very minimal info, but this was found in a Romulan database when the ship was just undergoing initial design stages" "Here's the weird part: The database file with the information on the Intrepid was timestamped 2351, but Starfleet didn't even start initial design work on the Intrepid until 2364!" "So they used time travel? to get... basic information on one single starship class?" "Kinda? See, there's a P.S. on the spy file, added later when it was declassified. The leaked info in the Romulan database was discovered in 2371, but the file was updated in 2378, with an explanation." "and?" "Remember when the U.S.S. Voyager was lost?" "oh yeah, they turned out to have just been stuck on the other side of the galaxy, right?" "Yeah! And while they were there, they found a microscopic wormhole, and successfully used it to communicate back with the Romulans... but discovered it was a TIME WORMHOLE" "oh, so they were talking to the Romulans back in 2351?" "Yep! They figured that out and then decided not to transport through the wormhole, as they would have gotten home 20 years before they left, but they sent some messages back to be delivered later. They didn't come through" "why not?" "well... turns out the romulan guy (Telek R'Mor) died before Voyager ever launched, so he never got a chance to deliver the messages. but he DID inform the Tal Shiar about some design elements of the Intrepid class, years before it was launched" "that must have confused them" "yes... the report is basically just two spy agencies completely confused about what to do about the intelligence they had, and confused about why they had it"

"ok ok ok, enough artifacts, mission logs, spy reports, medical reports, repair logs, how about a really weird one: A SENSOR REPORT!" "why is that one weird?" "well, look at the timestamp. Both of them." "so one timestamp is 2372, and the other is... negative 16 billion?" "yep! This one is a scan of the big bang. And slightly before it." "... before?" "Yeah! They did a scan, and then THE BIG BANG HAPPENED, and then fortunately they got out of there before the universe fully existed, as that would exceed the ship's safety tolerances" "so... why were they at the big bang?" "well... you know the farpoint encounter, and that godly being the USS Enterprise ran into?" "oh god (uh, no pun intended)... but yeah, vaguely" "WELL it turns out there was another one of those godly beings who was suicidal and imprisoned in a comet, and-" "wait wait wait. there was a god trapped in a comet?" "yes. apparently they're infinitely powerful but weak to comets. ANYWAY. he was suicidal and trying to hide" "hide? WHAT DOES A GOD HAVE TO HIDE FROM?" "well he was hiding from the other god! the one at farpoint! that one was the one who imprisoned him. because he was suicidal." "so the god was in the comet, and the other god put him there, and someone let him out? and then he hid?" "yes! and where does a god hide?" "at the big bang?" "slightly before, but yes! and he took the ship along with him, so that's how they were able to scan the big bang. because of getting involved in a weird game of hide-and-seek between a suicidal god and a jailer-god" "so what happened? how did they get out of the whole god-war thing?" "well... usual stuff. they put the god on trial to see if he could be allowed to die, but compromised on making him human and a crew member" "so they had a former god on their crew?" "briefly. then he died." "he died? after settling for human?" "yeah, it turned out the jailer-god changed his mind and decided to rebel against god-society and started by giving the former-god some deadly poison to let him finally die, like he wanted" "well, at least that seems to have ended... well?"

"oh no, there's a follow up! see, it seems the dead god thing lead to a god-civil-war and it seems that caused a bunch of supernovae in 2373." "wait... supernovae? plural? like, outshined-the-entire-galaxy SUPERNOVAE? that must have killed billions, or trillions!" "yep! it was a massive disaster and caused a real crisis in astronomy because we had no idea why it was happening, but it suddenly stopped, thankfully. But yes, it was started because the crew accidentally freed a suicidal god from a comet." "oh god..." "literally!"

"don't worry, though... that's not the weird bit" "HOW IS THAT NOT THE WEIRD BIT?" "OK I PROMISE I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP... but after the first supernovae of the 2373 Calamity, it turns out the captain (of the ship that killed the god) discovered another god... in her bed" "her... bed?" "Yeah! it turns out the other god wanted to have a child. with her." "... that's weird but what does this have to do with the supernovae?" "he wanted to end the war, and figured the best way to do it was to get her pregnant with a god-baby"

"NOPE! That's it! I'm out. that's not real. you're making it up. We don't live in a universe where one captain caused death across the universe by sparking a god-war and then only ending it by having a baby with a god. I'm out. I have a Warp Dynamics test to study for anyway."

"wait! wait! I didn't even tell you about the time she turned into a lizard and had babies with her pilot" "NO! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY WEIRD THINGS YOU MAKE UP, THERE ARE NO LIZARD BABIES"

"no, I swear, it really happened! Look, they went infinitely fast and occupied every point in the universe!" "THAT'S NOT HOW SPEED WORKS" "it is! and it turns out going everywhere at once infinitely fast turns you into a lizard!" "*sigh* Are there any reports on unhearing that?"

I imagine they sometimes decide to go HARD MODE on the report readings, where they have to put aside all the ones with "Voyager" on them. They're just too easy.

"So I've got two reports here, and I want you to pick between them. One is the second weirdest transporter visitor log, and the other is a report on why a science officer is 30 years old... except his head, which is 495 years old!" "I'm going to cut you off there, because I know your tricks: those are both the same incident." "Yep! You got me. Am I really that predictable?" "You are. Also, second weirdest transporter visitor log? You phrased that very specifically..." "I wanted to rule out all the transporter accidents and strange misuses of the transporter, and focus solely on WHO was transported. This was the second weirdest person." "I'm not going to take the obvious bait and ask who it was... but I will ask: who is the weirdest?" "Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln. President of the United States, a predecessor to the unified Earth government... he died in 1865." "WHY WAS HE TRANSPORTED? Who was time traveling back to the 1860s? and if they were in the 1860s, why were they beaming up Presidents?" "HARDMODE: No time travel! He was transported out of open space in 2269, because he had been recreated by the local mineral beings on their lava-planet" "why... why did the lava aliens recreate a 19th century Earth president?" "To study GOOD AND EVIL!" "Like you do, I guess?" "Yeah... anyway, the recreated Lincoln got killed by a spear, thrown by either Genghis Khan or Kahless the Unforgettable" "THE FOUNDER OF THE KLINGON EMPIRE?" "Yeah! he got recreated too. And teamed up with Genghis." "No. no no no no no you made this up" "It's real! Check it out, there's a message here to the diplomatic department, asking for the proper protocol to accept a 19th century US president abort a quasi-military vessel. And there's a video clip! Hit play on that..."

"Man, video quality was terrible back in 2269" "Yeah, they were using analog tapes back then. Don't ask why. Retrotechnology studies are so complicated even without timetravel messing everything up. So yeah, apparently the answer is 'dress uniforms, security guys, whistle'" "oh yeah. You can't welcome a 19th century Earth president on board without a whistle. Where's your sense of ceremony!?"

"So I really have to go, my Intermediate Klingoneese class starts in like 5 minutes, but just tell me one thing: Who was the 2nd weirdest transporter visitor on the logs?" "Oh! Samuel Clemens." "Who?" "Mark Twain! Earth author, wrote Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn?" "What? How?" "Yeah, a crew found a time portal that went back to 1893, while trying to figure out why the head of one of their crewmembers was in a cave on earth, and accidentally sent him forward to 2368, and beamed him aboard." "Did they wipe his memory afterwards or something?" "NOPE!" "So the 19th century Earth author Mark Twain, who I'm now remembering wrote a novel about time travel, didn't he?" "yep!" "So he wrote about time travel and HAD PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH IT?" "Yeah! thanks to snake aliens, eating humans in the past"

"Yeah I'm gonna go ask my teacher how they say 'You deserve to die for your lies' on Qo'noS" "I think it's... Hegh nep qotlh SoH? maybe 'urmang instead of nep?" "I'M OUT, petaQ!"

(a transcript of a twitter thread I made from back in July 2020)

[incorrigiblerobot]

I find myself coming back to this scene a lot. First of all, it's hilarious. The timing is great and Boimler continuously screwing up the rules of time travel is perfect for his character, an obsessive rule follower who just can't help himself. Ortegas's reaction is so great and I love how she is the one Enterprise officer who seems to really like Boimler and Mariner as they are.

But the other thing I love about this episode is how Boimler and Mariner are proxies for the audience. Their visit to the Enterprise feels like what might happen if we visited the Enterprise.

First, they're fans! They love TOS and know everything about it(/them), down to the type of tricorders they used. Boimler wants to touch everything. He idolizes Pike, Spock and Una and Mariner is awestruck by Uhura.

Second, however, is the piece that has me really gaining an affinity for Lower Decks (beyond just really enjoying it) that I hadn't appreciated in its animated form because, even though it's canon, it still doesn't seem serious. And that is that the crew of the Cerritos are often fuckups. They're a bit out of their element on the Enterprise.

So much of Star Trek is typified by hyper-competence. The crews of the various ships the shows focus on are incredibly good at their jobs - and that's one of the great things about the shows! It's inspiring to see people calmly and confidently going about their duties. Not so much the Cerritos crew. Mariner is, of course, a badass, but she's an ensign on a California class ship for a reason. So is Boimler. They're not stupid. In fact, they're the ones who figure out how to get themselves back to the future. But they're so much less perfect than the officers on the Enterprise. In the very first episode Chapel confidently says "I know I'm good at my job." And she is. They all are.

The reason I love this scene (and the whole episode) so much is it's so relatable. I certainly don't consider myself a fuckup, I'm reasonably good at a reasonable number of things, but I have definitely fucked up before. Seeing Boimler and Mariner bumble around the Enterprise is inspiring in a different way. Because, despite their flaws, despite the many mistakes they make, they're still in Starfleet. They're still out there making history.

In a lot of ways, telling people you don't have to be hyper-competent to make a difference is more inspiring than giving them an ideal to aspire to.

California class.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Society if Seska was obsessed with B'Elanna as well as Chakotay and they tied her betrayal of the Maquis into Tuvok's betrayal of the Maquis and we got to see what B'Elanna & Chakotay's differing feelings on each of those betrayals was. I'm picturing Seska has them captured somewhere and they're trying to get out without resorting to some violence Seska wants them to. (Psychological torture* is a great way to get people on your side, so say the Cardassians). Absolutely no input from the others during their scenes, it's all them. I want to see more of B'Elanna & Chakotay's friendship/backstory as well as their relationships with Seska. What do they think of violence (systematically, in general, as a means to an end)? What counts as violence? What do they think of the Maquis? What are their morals and how do they differ? What do they think of each other? Also in this au Seska 100% offers B'Elanna, in honeyed tones, the chance to reconstruct her face so she looks entirely Human. Wasn't that what you've wanted all your life~? *I imagine that this is a torment, it's unclear whether what they're doing is having any impact on the outside world at all. Is this real? A simulation? Are their sacrifices actually sacrifices? [Tying, perhaps, into the feeling that maybe their time in the Maquis was useless as they were fighting against two different governments and ended up here, essentially forced to be Starfleet. How do they feel about Starfleet? The crew? Why did they choose to be in the Maquis?] <- Ending does not definitively answer these questions but says that if there is hope there's an obligation to fight for it and if there is injustice, violence from a so-called 'higher power', there is an obligation to fight against it. (Star Trek would NEVER allow this 'higher power' to be Starfleet but OH WELL)

[scifimademequeer]

Vulcan Gender Thoughts (copied from my twitter)

You know how andorians have four genders? What if vulcans have more than two as well. Bc I'm loving lately the idea of spock using she/her pronouns but otherwise masc-coded terms. So the statement "she is a Vulcan male" would be correct. What if this is a translation of an alien gender?

Hello, what if Vulcans invented femboys and Spock was assigned that at birth??

Or more realistically I feel, if most vulcans have intersex characteristics ranging across a spectrum with two mildly overlapping bell curves, and in the center of each bell curve is "male" or "female" and there exist genders for each section of the spectrum.

So Spock was assigned "male" at birth but children are raised with an expectation that they will developmentally differentiate across a small range of presentation categories, some more populated than others.

I've actually been cooking on this concept for a while and it's even present in the background of my published PWP but I think I know how I want to use it for Heavy Braid now.

Spock spends her time on earth and then in starfleet letting humans assume she is a man by their category terms bc she sees it as just another part of Vulcan culture that is inaccessible to humans. Like, she's already masking all the time with everyone, is it even misgendering if there's a planetary language barrier? Etc. But unfortunately it makes her drop her femme side for a while lowkey.

I'm gonna have a event in the first month or two of the 5yr mish that more or less outs Spock as femme and kind of forces her to negotiate a little bit on what would actually make her feel more comfortable for everyone to say or do. And the rest of the crew realize they might have written her off. Scotty in particular is sad that they aren't friends and that Spock never told him, bc they've both been on the enterprise for years now as colleagues.

McCoy, Kirk, and Uhura all explain to her how coming out of the closet is important and how humans place a positive value on it, and they're grateful to like. Have an opportunity to show her decency and respect.

And it triggers introspection for Spock ofc, and she starts wearing more makeup and maybe non-pants clothing more? Earrings? And everyone notices and it creates an awkward, mild positive feedback loop.

And Kirk Notices notices. Spock is obsessed with him as soon as they are in the same room for the first time, she's seen his pic but in person there's a huge spark for her and it alarms and confuses her and she only realizes it's an attraction much later. At first Spock is like, I just find him compelling, he's a high caliber person and a surprising leader...

But anyway Kirk thought she was cute on sight but doesn't let himself think about that as a new captain, he's too busy.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep25: Worst Case Scenario

This episode is so insane, but so much fun. It actually provides a new twist on the usual holodeck malfunction episode formula, which is quite a feat at this point.

It starts off with a disorienting scene of Chakotay recruiting B'Elanna for a mutiny- we know something is up the minute Chakotay says anything against Captain Janeway, but we continue on to the bridge, where Janeway sports her season one bun again, and we know this isn't a current timeline. Once B'Elanna stuns Harry with a phaser, we know it can't be the real world, but we only find out it's the holodeck after Tom walks in to complain to B'Elanna about being late for their date. B'Elanna lost track of time having so much fun overthrowinng the ship, and Tom wants to try it too- pretty soon, half the ship is obsessed with pretending to shoot their coworkers on the holodeck, and trying to figure out who wrote such a scandalous holonovel, because the author's identity is encrypted. Even Captain Janeway thinks it's harmless fun, and she encourages her's crew's delight at waging holographic war on each other, proving that they are all a) very, very bored on that ship and b) totally unhinged chaos gremlins. The exception to the craziness is Tuvok, who surprises everyone by revealing that he wrote the program, but as a tactical simulation, which he abandoned once the Starfleet and Maquis crews became The Brady Bunch.

The bored children crew pester Tuvok to finish it, but he, being the only sensible adult on that ship, refuses. Tom decides to try and finish it himself, but Tuvok takes umbridge to Tom's artistic license (Tom thinks holographic Janeway should get to execute the mutineers, as a treat), and they reluctantly end up collaborating.

When they get to the holodeck and try to write new chapters for the program, they find that Seska booby trapped it to get back at them for assuming she'd betray Voyager. (Which she totally did, so why is she even mad?? idk!) Her program disengages holodeck safeties (why is that even a thing?! Why would anyone invent a holodeck where you can turn safety off?! Why would anyone need a holodeck where you can get shot and die?!) and locks out voice commands, as well as the ship's transporters, trapping Tuvok and Tom on the holodeck with hologram Seska, who's bent on killing them. The rest of the crew on the bridge eventually figure out what's going on and find ways to help them as they run through Seska's crazy booby trapped hologram version of Voyager, until Tuvok manages to outsmart her and end the program.

The episode ends with yet another adorable scene of the crew hanging out together, this time having dinner together in the mess hall, and laughing about the silly time they just had playing at killing each other on the holodeck, which almost led to them all being killed in real life. Fun times! (Actually, they're all nuts, but at least they're crazy together. You gotta love a crack episode!)

Tl;dr; An absurd but original twist on the usual holodeck malfunction story, with the whole cast playing it like it's a sitcom- totally unhinged, but lots of fun.

[funnywormz]

the fuckin. star trek ocs!!!!!! their story is set in 2389, on the joint civilian and starfleet run starship the U.S.S. hudson (probably oberth class, not 100% sure yet). can u tell i'm obsessed with making weird sapphic ocs lol

more doodles below the cut!

rangi and taz. they don't get along well at first... well, more like taz doesn't get along with rangi and rangi just thinks it's funny, lol

kerrek and her bajoran mum, olam! kerrek was very clingy and anxious as a child due to the trauma she'd experienced, but olam was always there for her. even now that kerrek is grown up, they're still very close. also to be clear, i draw bajorans with a mane thingy but ik olam's kinda looks like a beard. it's not but also if it was a beard that would be cool as fuck anyways so,

stupid little comic inspired by that one meme of the guys dog seeing him smoking weed. idk. yala likes to experiment with Substances bc things get boring as fuck on the hudson sometimes for her. kerrek doesn't actually care btw she isn't gonna tell anyone

kerrek doodles. my autism creature

[the-lavender-clown]

I’m rewatching DS9 with my mom rn and it’s just reminding me how much I love Nog. I already forced my followers on Instagram to listen to my thoughts on him and y’all are my next victims

Nog is a great example for us to see the Ferengis and their culture in more depth. It's so interesting to me to watch his character develop as well as Sisko's viewpoint with him. Starfleet (specifically humans) wants to preach that they're accepting of all life forms and have left prejudice behind them but it's simply not true. In TNG we know that Worf definitely experienced his fair share of prejudice for being Klingon and Data for being an android. For the Voyager cast B'Elanna faced prejudice as a child for being half Klingon and the Doctor for being a hologram. Nog is DS9's best example I think of this kind of character. Even Worf was suspicious of Nog when he joins the DS9 crew despite having been in Nog's very situation as the first of his species (which doesn't have a very good reputation either) to join Starfleet. When introduced to the Ferengi in TNG we are lead to think that they are lying, greedy, cunning little gremlins and that's not entirely wrong but it's not entirely right either. An individual person is more than their race and culture. When they first get to DS9 Nog is one of the closest people to Jake's age and who wants to hang out with him. They became fast friends and got into some trouble for pulling pranks, tho they were never really very harmful if we're being honest but it certainly doesn't put Nog in a very good light. It looks like Nog is a bad influence and Sisko is convinced he is. He tries to convince Jake to not be friends with him and even bans him from hanging out with Nog but it doesn't work because the two boys are committed to their friendship. Jake teaches Nog how to read and Nog gives him (terrible) advice on girls. They're friendship has some bumps from the cultural differences but they always make up and push through. Ben has to admit that he was wrong about Nog and about their friendship. Ben even sticks up for Rom in an episode simply because their sons are best friends. He's able to see the Ferengi in a different light. Sure he still doesn't like Quark very much but who does? Quark is important to the station tho so they have to deal with him. (I could go into Quark’s character too but this is about Nog rn.) Then eventually Nog decides to join Starfleet and since his species isn't part of the federation he has to get a letter of recommendation from a command level officer to be able to go to the academy and he asks Sisko to sponsor him. Sisko spends the episode testing Nog to see if he's trustworthy and serious about this. At the end he tells Nog he won't write the letter because he doesn't understand why Nog wants to join and he needs to understand before he writes that letter. Nog tells him he wants to join Starfleet because he knew he didn't have the "lobs" for business just like his father doesn't and he doesn't want to end up like him. His father is brilliant but he's stuck working for his brother in a bar. Nog doesn't want that life for himself and he knows that if he's goes into business like a "good Ferengi" then that's where he'll end up. But he has his father's hands and smarts for machinery as well as his uncle's tenacity. He wants to do something worthwhile with his life and in Starfleet he can. Plus he looks up to Sisko, you can't convince me he doesn't, and Sisko is in Starfleet so that's another reason he wants to join (but that’s just my opinion).That speech gets him his letter and sponsorship. He gets to live out his dream of doing something with his life. He gets to be the first Ferengi in Starfleet proving that not all Ferengi are obsessed with profit and greed. I am so proud of him for that.

In conclusion, Nog is my brave, sweet, precious son and an incredibly complex character 💛💛💛

[tinderbox210]

Making that gif set of La'an and Spock's arrival on the Enterprise made me remember how much I'm still obsessed with the La'an and Spock Academy AU in which they attend Starfleet Academy together.

I'm aware Spock is younger than La'an but the timeline could still add up. Spock is a genius so he could have easily skipped some classes and ended up in the same year as La'an (but it's an AU so canon timeline doesn't matter anyway).

I think at first they wouldn't get along and would get competitive, trying to beat each other and bicker a lot.

We know La'an has a competitive streak from the Enterprise Bingo stuff so she would be annoyed about that arrogant Vulcan wunderkind just rushing in and exceling at everything without breaking a sweat that she has to work so hard for. That is, until she finds out that Spock has his own struggles to deal with like his dyslexia and the pressure of meeting his father's and Vulcan society's expectations.

Spock would be irritated by La'an's hostility until he learns about her traumatic past and all the hardships she had to endure due to losing her family and carrying the stigmata of being a descendant of Khan.

They would bond over being outcasts, feelings of not fitting in due to their social awkwardness and unique heritages and constantly having to proof themselves to others who view them as "abominations".

Spock would become La'an's tutor and help her with the science/technical classes. I headcanon La'an being smarter than she lets on because she thinks people would fear/reject her even more if they knew how smart she was. We know she has a nerdy streak and knows history, and Spock would enjoy and encourage this side of her. In return, La'an would discover the empathetic heart beating beneath the Vulcan shell and defend Spock against any dumbass trying to mess with him.

I just have many thoughts and feels about this AU 😊

They would develop a very close bond and eventually their friendship would turn romantic with all that delicious angst, because they wouldn't want to ruin their friendship despite feeling attracted to each other and because they're on different career paths probably taking them to serve on different ships at different ends of the galaxy, and Spock is expected to marry a Vulcan anyway. And then Spock would have his first Pon Farr and La'an would be there to help him because deep inside they've both been in love with each other for a long time, but they're both so unsure and awkward with romance, and things would get even more complicated between them...

[los-ninos-tortugas]

Still collecting my thoughts, but im kinda obsessed with the idea of the turtles living to maybe see at least early TOS

And I'm still thinking more about that too.

*drinks shot* imagine if they did have multi-century long life spans tho?

They'd get to see a lot of stuff (insert relevant events from ENT, DISCO, and SNW here) and they'd probably venture off planet eventually.

I can see Mikey being an ambassador, especially during the early days of the federation and by the time of the TOS era he'd be very well known throughout the alpha quadrant. I think there could be a really interesting adventure where Kirk's Enterprise has to escort him somewhere and everyone's all like "we will protect you with our lives Ambassador," and he's just like, "Aw that's cute, you think you're here to protect me?"

If Raph isn't doing something directly involved with Starfleet security then I feel like he and Leo are kinda just like the Federation's cool retired uncles and they just do a lot of planet hopping. Maybe everyonce in a while they give a talk or a seminar about leadership or something but I think they more than anyone want to just chill out, which also means by law they constantly get dragged into shenanigans against their will and it always fall to the nearest hapless starfleet vessel to come bail them out. It's all very lowstakes but very inconvenient. Kirk probably has a story from when he was still an ensign and his ship got sent to go pick up the famous Hamato brothers.

Donnie is directly involved with Starfleet but it's like having your really intimidating grandpa hanging around aaaaaallllll the time. Cuz Cochrane just mysteriously disappeared one day but his old lab partner is still kickin around and he's literally the co-inventor of warp flight (for earth) and he will not stop backseat driving. No one is even actually sure what his title is because he's definitely not an admiral but he's been around so long no one is going to question him. (he has no official rank or title, when Starfleet was founded he just showed up and no one has been able to get him to stop hanging around for the past century but also he keeps improving the starships so they're not really eager to kick him out either). In this version all Starfleet ships come with an option for a male or female voice, the female voice obviously is still Majel Baret's voice but the male version is just Shelldon, Donnie is a very proud father.

Now the boys are very long lived but unfortunately the same can't be said of their human companions, but they of course still keep up with all of their descendants and they're all still considered a part of the Hamato family. If I were less sleepy I would maybe try to flesh out what Ensigns O'Neil and Jones could be like but that's gonna have to be a story for another day.

[electronickingdomfox]

"Web of the Romulans" review

Novel from 1983, by Melinda S. Murdock. An okay story, with competent writing and plot building, even if not particularly memorable. And a bit sexist at times. I feel the story is sufficient for an episode of the series, but a bit short for something novel-length. However, this is alleviated by the fact the narrative switches between the Enterprise crew, the Romulans, and another Starfleet officers. And that's probably its most remarkable feature: the Romulans receive as much attention (or even more) than Kirk and crew. Actually, the Enterprise characters seem under-developed, when compared with the new introductions.

As an aside, what's the deal with the Pocket Book covers of this era? They all look so similar, with the characters wearing the ugly pajamas from TMP even when they don't match the timeframe of the story! This is one of such cases. The novel is set immediately after the episode "Tomorrow is Yesterday", since the Enterprise computer is still malfunctioning and calling Kirk "dear". Strangely enough, there are references to much later episodes.

Some spoilers under the cut:

The first half presents a very similar situation to the one in "The Klingon Gambit". The Enterprise is at an impasse with an enemy ship (there Klingons, here Romulans) where neither dare to attack first. While the situation aboard the Enterprise deteriorates progressively (there because of the mutinous behavior of the crew, here of the computer).

What was just a little comedic detail in "Tomorrow is Yesterday", is greatly expanded here. The ship's computer has been programmed with a feminine personality (and by "feminine", read "irrational, over-emotional, inefficient and jealous"). Step by step, the computer stops responding to anybody who's not its beloved Kirk, and centers all its attention on the Captain, while systems shut off here and there. There are many comedic scenes where crewmembers find with frustration that the computer only produces the food or clothes that Kirk likes. Though after so many examples, the joke overstays its welcome. Nonetheless, I found quite funny the scene where Scotty is trying to consult his technical journals, but only gets pictures of Abraham Lincoln from the computer.

In the Romulan side, we learn a lot about the Bird of Prey's commander, S'Talon, his past, and his close relationship with his centurion (eventually romantic, of course, since the centurion is a woman). His ship has been sent as a form of decoy to stall the Enterprise, while the Praetor proceeds into Federation territory with a fleet, in some as yet undisclosed mission.

After sweet-talking his way into the computer's heart, Kirk finally regains control of his ship, just when S'Talon starts attacking. Taken by surprise, the Bird of Prey is crippled beyond salvation. But, before the Romulans can sacrifice themselves in the self-destruct sequence, they're beamed aboard the Enterprise. There, the truth about the Romulans' mission is revealed: the Empire is dying under a virulent plague, that has claimed the lives of a third of the population. And S'Talon's centurion dies as well, revealing her secret love for him in her last breath. Thus, the Romulans were just seeking the cure for the disease, in a certain Federation planet which produces the necessary medicine.

The second half (in my opinion more interesting) has Kirk offering to mediate between the medicine-producing planet and the Romulans, to find a peaceful agreement. However, the Enterprise has been cut off from communication with Starfleet for a long time, due to the computer's malfunctions. The top brass, suspecting Kirk is dead, misunderstands the situation and believes the Romulans are about to start a war. They send a Federation fleet to the Romulan border. And a paranoid Admiral, in charge of espionage and obsessed with Romulans, almost blows up the war fuse at the last moment. He's a seedy character; might be a precedent for the later Section 31?

Anyway, the novel offers an interesting insight into Starfleet's inner affairs and power struggles. As well as those in the Romulan Empire.

Spirk Meter: 0/10*. Nothing that comes to mind.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[junewongapologia]

I know it's been lost in the many, many annoying years of ST writers deciding Vulcans are bad and contemptible for having what amounts to just really visible cultural differences from humanity, but I really like how... Culturally Vulcan Spock is.

His colleagues have like a fixation on his mother's heritage but... he grew up culturally Vulcan on Vulcan and his human mother all but states in Babel that she's basically assimilated into Vulcan culture because she agrees with its ethos. In all of TOS Spock considers himself Vulcan.

He's... very well adjusted and settled in so he is, he's a guy who sacked off the VSA to join a pseudo-military against the wishes of his pacifist dad and on the ship he plays Vulcan musical instruments with his human colleagues, and keeps a room full of Vulcan cultural artefacts that presumably remind him from home. (I get that this is half-retconned in the movies - most explicitly in ST V 🙄 - and also pretty inconsistently written in TOS but it's still there!)

Idk it's kind of sad to me that the Vulcans are literally the innovators of IDIC and they've been flanderized into these isolationist bigots because the stoicism/pacifist vibes can be kind of confused and off-putting to people.

Like. List of Vulcans we actually meet in TOS:

Spock

Spock's dad, ambassador to Earth, married to a human in some weird 60s sitcom couple dynamic, in-text reason he is estranged from his half human son is literally stated outright as being because he thinks Starfleet is too militaristic and he's a pacifist - like most Vulcans.

T'Pring - Spock's fiancée/wife, breaks up with him because it seems like too much of a hassle to be married to a celebrity, never seems to have any issue with his parentage, clearly thinks he's Vulcan since she divorces him via Vulcan ritual (logical, fight to the death) and not Human ritual (illogical, loopholes/contacting your local divorce lawyer)

Stonn - has two lines, neither of them are about Spock.

T'Pau - kind of maybe says something bigoted ("they say thy Vulcan blood is thin"), but then pulls strings to get the Enterprise off the hook for disobeying orders at the end of the episode, presumably as a favour to Spock, who she knows is going through a rough time, or out of respect for Not-Really-Dead Jim.

Surak - from a war torn civilisation five hundred years ago, still less bigoted towards other species than McCoy lmao

I might be so wrong about this but idk I just like Spock's room full of unabashed Vulcan shit, and I think ST has ignored and wasted opportunities for interesting stories bc they're kind of obsessed with deconstruction of everything about TOS/the ST universe to the detriment of anything else including the actual original ethos of Starfleet.

[traxanaxanos]

I frequently find myself being deeply fascinated and drawn in by background characters in the media I engage with. There's one centaur woman in a battle shot of the Chronicles of Narnia who I was obsessed with when that movie came out; I think frequently and at length about Freda "Where is mama?" Lord of the Rings and her brother (and her mama for that matter - she got back to her kids!! She did it! What did she experience on that perilous and dire journey to reunite with her children??).

This is the same for Star Trek, of course, my first and ever-lasting media obsession. And I've been trying to figure out what the draw is. I think it's partially that those background characters provide a way to poke at the edges the story creates, to push past the boundaries and explore the world a little more, even if only in flights-of-fancy. And, in addition to that ideal dreaming, the what-ifs?, the presence of the characters in the background makes the universe feel whole, feel inhabited, and feel BIG. Deanna Troi is obviously shaken by Daniel Kwan's death, and we see that. But what is Lieutenant Junior Grade Nara up to in the background? How does she cope with that event - she seems composed when Troi talks to her - sad, but in a professional and distant way. Did she grieve privately? Do Canopians grieve differently? Are Starfleet engineers fairly desensitized to the death of a coworker? Her presence brings up so many questions and widens the field of the universe. Lieutenant Stadi doesn't seem particularly flamboyant, nor is she burdened, frustrated, or apathetic about her psychic powers, which is what we've seen of Betazoids so far between Lwaxanna, Tam, and Deanna. Is she then a more everyday citizen of Betazed? Could she have been the Tuvok to Deanna's Spock? Was she the pilot because she was supposed to interface with Voyager's bio-neural gel packs, and would that mean Starfleet was attempting to militarize a planetary population who largely seem violence-averse (because lets be real, Voyager may be a science ship but starfleet is really a military organization). Did she volunteer for this experimental position? We are never going to get answers but aren't the questions fascinating? Doesn't their unanswerable nature make the world of Star Trek seem that much bigger?

What is Zarabeth doing for the rest of her natural life, alone on a freezing planet, trapped in the past, after her sad strange adventure with the men from the future? What was the tyrant Zor Kahn's rule like? Did Zarabeth take part in her family's rebellion against him, or was her banishment merely vengeful punishment against the very existence of her family? Does she get into cave painting? Before the sun of Sarpeidon went super nova, could you have found a cave amidst the ice with a message she tried to leave for those future men (goodbye, I loved you!), for Zor Kahn (I defy you to the last!), for anyone at all (I was here! I loved! I lived!)? People exist and existed outside the adventures of Kirk, Spock, and Bones, and keep on existing after our heroes depart, the trio don't just leave an uninhabited void behind them when they leave for the next adventure (even though we know that they actually do, since they're the characters the show is about and nothing exists beyond the eye of the camera).

I think one of my issues with a lot of the new Star Trek properties, even when I like them, is that they lean so heavily on nostalgia, on fan-bait and references, but that rarely works for me. I don't care about seeing Spock or Picard again, their stories ended, and even if there's some lose threads, they're fun to pick at in an idle-thought way, not to unravel, and their stories had solid, fulfilling endings. I don't want to see Riker again, especially if it's to show him once again abandoning his Imzadi, to show that his character growth in marrying Deanna, in committing to something and to her specifically, is paper-thin and so easily cast aside. It shrinks his character. And when Riker is always showing up to save the day in Enterprise, in Star Trek: Online, in Resurgence, and in Lower Decks, when we get the fifth or sixth iteration of Spock, it also shrinks the world. It's the Skywalker problem. The galaxy actually isn't as big as it seems, it really only stretches a few feet past the horizon of these handful of characters. There is no Oz, in the end, and behind the curtain is just a writer's room obsessed with characters who already got their endings. There is no one else who exists in the galaxy except for like 4 men and mayyyyybe the women who are their romantic interests. It removes the dreaming edges of the world, and shows the hands of the creators far too much.

I also don't think its hypocritical to say that when the references do work on me its only if it's a background character. I was legitimately so thrilled when Sonya Gomez showed up on Lower Decks! She scratched that itch, that feeling of newness and boundary-pushing and exploration that is what I love about background characters (and I do have to admit she has always been one of my fave background characters). The life we can imagine for her! The adventures she must have had! All the things that led from her being a bumbling ensign to a capable, compassionate captain! The vastness of the Star Trek universe, that it has room for Sonya Gomez and all her off-screen, unseen, imagined stories. Literally, the possibilities for the life of her character between those two episodes of TNG and the one episode of Lower Decks are infinite. That's the kind of reference, the returning character bait that really works for me, that gets me excited for continuing stories in a universe.

All this to say, in complete earnestness, this is why now, more than ever, we need a Greskgrendrek mini-series.

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S3 E2 - The Search Part 2

This episode was MUCH better. I mean, there were several parts that pissed me the fuck off but they were very much intended to so I'm not holding that against the show. The writing and acting did what they were supposed to lol

The BIG reveal was obvious to me the second Odo became obsessed with a random planet/part of space but part of me was wondering if they were as terrifying as everyone implied. People become legends, stories passed on to make them more terrifying than they really are so that no one would bother them, etc.

I do know the Dominion are the "bad guys", at least for a while, but the distance the Shifters had with Kira and the way they implied they had been hunted, I briefly assumed that something would happen to Odo's people and the Jem'hadar would take over or something else just as tragic. But it became clear by their weird standoffish-ness that my first idea of them being the bad guys was right.

Odo made up for his nonsense from the previous episode in this one and it was kinda cute to watch how he reacted to being a vulture for a while, but I haven't 100% forgiven him. I understand that they programmed something in him to return "home" so he couldn't avoid some of it but he didn't need to be as whiny as he was before even getting to the Gamma Quadrant.

Also, Kira talking to nothing was adorable. While the whole crew was technically on the planet with them, I'm honestly glad it was Kira that got to experience Odo's first time interacting with his people given they're relationship. I still don't see how those two can ever become romantic (since I know its a thing in the future) because they're the bestest of buds to me, though.

I didn't pick up on the fact that it was a simulation but it was super obvious that something was up. It was too neat and tidy that Jadzia and Miles found them all the while the Founders were supposed to be making a treaty with the Federation? That and how all the Federation folks that weren't part of the Defiant crew were acting super suspicious? I thought it was some kind of telepathic mind control, tbh. I mean Admiral Nechayev is terrible all the time in a very "The Federation always knows best" kinda way. She believes far too much that name dropping the Federation alone will do the job so it took a moment to notice her shit was off but everyone else was definitely up to no good.

I am glad we got more of TRul, I was worried they killed her after the Defiant battle. And I like how while she was clearly pissed at the Federation for locking the Romulans out of the treaty when shit hit the fan she ran directly for Sisko, someone she at least somewhat trusted.

Hell, I like it when all the crew turned to Sisko when shit got to be too much. When Miles was attacked for no reason and when Jadzia got a note of her transfer. Or when (imaginary) Garak turned to Sisko cause he too noticed that it was all way too much. He's obviously their Commander so the one in charge as far as they're concerned but they trust so much they were willing to risk their jobs (and lives) to defy Starfleets orders.

Sisko's speech in the office over the fact that the treaty was super unbalanced and a bunch of bull shit was perfect, as his speeches tend to be. I love me a good monologue and he once again nailed it.

I 100% supported Sisko shutting down the wormhole and I'm glad the others were, too, even if it did make me wonder how Kira and Odo got back. I love that Garak was the one that kinda lit the spark under Sisko to do it though.

And when Garak got shot? And for half a second Bashir had to fight the urge to grab him/stay with him before running? My gay heart.

Anyway, solid episode, I'm glad this one was much better than the last one.

7/10

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep15: Hunters

The one where they start getting letters from home! I thought that didn't happen till season 5, but it was a whole season earlier than I remembered. I completely forgot that Tuvok learns his eldest son had a daughter! Tuvok is a grandfather!! He'll get to meet his granddaughter when he gets home!! ahhhh feels!!!

Also the one where Chakotay, B'Elanna and the former Maquis learn that the rest of the Maquis in the Alpha Quadrant were all killed during the Dominion War. They're both shaken by it, but Chakotay seems to get over it a lot more quickly than B'Elanna does. probably because he's so thrilled that Janeway isn't engaged to Mark anymore.

Janeway gets a letter from Mark, telling her how he accepted that she was dead, moved on, and married someone else, which obviously upsets her. (Although tbh, if you're engaged to someone who gets over your supposed death and marries someone else in only three years, he wasn't the one, honey! He won't even wait three years for Kathyn motherfucking Janeway?! Bro didn't deserve her in the first place!!)

Harry acts like a little lost puppy waiting for a letter from his parents, which is sweet, but also, it feels a bit like Harry is actually acting younger and more awkward as time goes on rather than less, which is a weird choice I don't really like. Tom starts acting kind of jerky and pointedly dismissing the crew's excitement about the letters, which Harry sees right through, and B'Elanna calls him on it when he basically freaks out over a letter coming in from his dad. Apparently he doesn't talk about his dad to anyone but the Captain, since B'Elanna doesn't even know his dad's name, or why Tom's so upset about the prospect of hearing from him. Tom rather heartbreakingly confesses that he had a bad relationship with his dad, and feels that his life back home was such a mess he doesn't even want to be reminded of it now that he's on Voyager, where things are so much better. B'Elanna then tells him how upset she is after learning everyone she knew in the Maquis is dead, and that he should be thankful to have someone reaching out to him. This knocks some sense into Tom, who apologizes for being so wrapped up in his own problems. They hug and comfort each other, and it's a lovely moment, where we see them being very honest and vulnerable with each other in ways they usually avoid with everyone else.

Meanwhile Tuvok and Seven get captured by the Hirogen while they're out in a shuttle trying to adjust the communication relay to get clearer messages. The Hirogen are almost comically over the top bad guys- they're huge dudes in armor, whose ships look like bad Halloween decor- there's nets filled with their 'trophies', i.e. fake bones like the kind they have in doctor's offices, fake hairpieces, basically all kinds of stuff that's supposed to be scary, but just looks silly. They're supposed to be a race of hunters, but idk how they even ended up with starship technology if their culture is so obsessed with hunting trophies. (But I give them a pass because I know 'The Killing Game' is coming up, and I love that one, so I'll try to ignore how stupid they are in the meantime.) They try to make trophies out of Tuvok and Seven, but before they can boil them in acid, or feed them to piranhas, or whatever nefarious evil way they de-bone their victims, Voyager rescues them. The communication relay gets damaged in the fight, and Voyager loses it's one way to communicate with home, cutting off before an encrypted message from Starfleet comes through fully. B'Elanna comes to personally deliver the last letter that came through, from Harry's parents, which Harry is adorably overjoyed about. (The why he isn't also expecting a letter from Libby, idk. Guess he just forgot about her after season 2!) B'Elanna lets Tom know that the letter from his dad got lost before they could download it, but encourages him to believe it was well meant. Tom decides he'll try to be positive, for once, and believe that it was, which is a pretty big turning point for his character development.

It ends with Janeway and Chakotay having a little chat in her ready room, where Janeway rather obliviously talks about how she's coping with knowing it's over with Mark, while Chakotay can barely contain his glee at knowing he's got a clear shot now. Idk if we're supposed to believe Janeway doesn't notice, or if she's pointedly ignoring him, or what, but the conversation turning to Janeway's assessment of her romantic prospects in the Delta Quadrant, while Chakotay stares at her with heart eyes and says 'I think there's still plenty of time', and then walking out together arm in arm, is the most obviously shippy thing I can think of. Sorry writers, it's your fault people ship them. Also Kate Mulgrew and Robert Beltran's fault for playing it the way they do, but whoever gave them these scenes and expected it not to turn out this shippy is the dumbass here. Just saying.

Tl;dr: Idk why it's called Hunters, when the Hirogen are barely in it, and the letters the crew gets from home are what the episode is really about. They shoulda called it 'Letters', but whatever it's called, it works really well. A wonderfully character driven episode, where everyone gets a moment to reveal their inner hopes and fears. An important milestone for the Voyager crew, and compelling to watch the whole way through.

[fuckblast]

Love it when star trek is like hi this is an alien. Look how alien he is compared to the humans. Look at how the alien highlights human qualities by lacking them or having them in abundance. Look how the alien has not heard of our human custom. He's so alien and strange and nonhuman. He is so distant from the rest of us. He is the apex of his own culture, which is very different, and majorly represents it's customs and influence.

And then a season and a half later we meet more of that kind of alien and they're like oh that guy? We all think he's a cringefail atypical human-obsessed nerd. Like. Why do you think he's in Starfleet to begin with?