#they're not friends. she's just low on his list of people to hate.

[mutatiio]

possibly least favourite fandom things: maul liking ventress. maul would hate her for what she did to savage and feral. he would not be friends with her, he would not call a truce and work with her. she's not at all on his priority list (sidious is a bigger fish to fry), but if he were to ever see the opportunity, he would kill her.

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [3]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 8.8k

ao3 is down so I'll update it first here. Chapter got delayed since this wasn't originally part of the roster. its currently 1am so there will be mistakes I missed but that's for future Winter's problem.

edit: please comment if you want to be added to the tag list :DD

<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>

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For a guy with his heart on his sleeves and his emotions displayed so loudly on his face like neon signs with gigantic arrows, Taehyung is an enigma.

It didn’t help that he had experience in acting, if anything it made it harder to understand him.

One moment he's supportive of your quest for a perfect husband then another, he's raging with a jealousy even the power of the thousand burning suns couldn't replicate. Even when Guwon has long disappeared, Taehyung didn't stop from hanging off of your arm when the three of you had entered your home. 

In the short time they had stayed over, he made sure he was somehow close to you or having you within his sight while Jimin returned to being the sweet boy he had always presented himself as but the glint of something dark in his eyes never disappeared.

But it didn't make any sense. All of their behaviors, even Jimin, is confusing.

Taehyung had introduced a date to the group before, and had hooked up with a few people from the after-parties if the others’ words were anything to go by. Jimin is the same, although he took every chance to flirt with you at any time and everywhere, you always thought it was him being his playful self. But after last night?

You don't know.

And you hate not knowing.

To find out that Jin still liked you was shocking already, then comes this new realization—along with the impacts of Jungkook’s confession—to knock you off of your feet. You thought he had moved on like he had said years before, but last night's conversation had told you otherwise.

“That's the tenth time I've heard you sigh just this hour alone and we're only drinking coffee, what’s wrong?”

Your head shot up to meet the concerned gaze of the oldest make-up artist. Jihae is one of the original staff back from 2013, the woman who had picked you up when you tripped in front of the BigHit building crying with your bag spilled out, having been given a low grade in one of your subjects. 

They were lacking in staff back then, urgently searching for another body to help with the debut look and when she saw your cosmetic bag, she tugged you inside and told you to agree with whatever they were going to ask. 

Stunned, you followed the woman without question.

A month later, you dropped out of the nursing course your mother had insisted you take and pursued cosmetology.

Many times have you looked back at the memory and grimaced. It could've gone wrong, she might've been leading you into a trafficking ring but nonetheless, you're glad you had accepted it.

All because Jihae had seen you with mascara-stained tears and somehow deemed you skilled enough for the job. Up until today, you still wonder what she had seen in an emotional teenager who had comically tripped face-first in the company’s front yard, mascara running down her face and thought: ‘She’d be a good addition’. 

Whatever it is, you're thankful. 

“Hey, you still with us?”

Snapping out of your trance, you wearily smiled at her. “Yes I am, unnie. Just frustrated about something...”

At this, multiple heads turned to you, their stares a varying mix of curiosity and teasing. Suddenly reminded of the group lunch Jihae had proposed that day, a bonding exercise for the entire make-up artists roster, for better teamwork, she had said and internally facepalmed. You had forgotten that it wasn't just your friends sitting on the table with you and you had just aired your problem out in the open for them to hear.

Fuck Kim Taehyung and his confusing attitude. You should beat his ass next time you see him for being the catalyst to the dilemma haunting your mind.

Leaning closer to you, Nabi—another friend of yours—crossed her arms and flashed a shit-eating grin.

“Is it boy problems?”

Instantly, the table explodes into chatters, all of their questions drowning each other.

“Which one of them?”

“Did someone from Bangtan confess to you, unnie?”

“Is it Hoseok? Please say it is! I have a bet with someone from the styling department.”

“Was it Taehyung? I always thought he had a crush on you for a whi—”

“It's not any of them, please we're just friends.” You interjected before they dig further and find truth in their questions. “It's a different guy I've had two dates with.”

Never had you sounded more unsure of yourself until now and you had wished nobody had noticed. But one look around the table says differently. Your friends’ eyes glinted, all of them telling you that this discussion was far from over and you find yourself already dreading opening the groupchat once you're home. But unlike them, someone wasn't satisfied with your answer and crossed her arms from the other end of the table.

“Why so dismissive, unnie? We're all friends here, no need to be so defensive.”

Immediately, the ones closest to her snapped their heads at her with a scandalized look. Alexa was a new recruit, A half-Korean and half-Chinese who lived in the States for a better half of her life, had just joined the week before the first leg when one of the crew went into labor and had recommended her cousin as her last minute replacement until she could return.

In the short time she had been in the company, there had been whispers and none of them were positive. Rumors of an unhealthy obsession hidden beneath the skillfully applied make-up that granted her a younger and cuter appearance, hushed stories of their encounters where she'd reveal her soulmate mark—inked initials, and written on her wrist is a K.S.J, something she boasted around with a smug look, as if to imply something you refuse to entertain.

It was absurd. 

Seokjin was untethered, if he got a soulmate mark out in the open, he would've screamed it on top of the world. Delighted and in cloud nine at the thought of having someone destined for him. Not to mention, it meant that he didn't need to go through any of the shit you've gone through, going through dates after dates looking for someone better to settle down with only to be met with constant disappointment at the end of the day.

(You'd also be the first to know. He would've ran to you and asked if you manifested a mark too, but for your sanity, you pushed the thought at the back of your head as soon as it came.)

To say, to imply that Seokjin’s soulmate is the kid on the side of the table, it almost made you grimace.

“Hey Alexa, I know you're just new and a foreigner but that doesn't mean we'd let you disrespect your seniors!” Minhyuk, someone who had quickly wormed into your friend group last year, had jumped to your defense.

Alexa scoffed. “I'm just saying, no need to be so secretive, unnie. Everyone in this table knows how close Bangtan is to you. Everyone is wondering if you've at least dated one of them.”

“Hey Alexa, that's a bit…”

“Why are you guys looking at me like that? I'm just saying what you're all thinking,” She looks back at you. “I've seen how they look at you, surely you've at least had a fling with someone.”

Your brows shot up, incredulous and shocked by her audacity but before you could bite back, Minhyuk stood abruptly, face darkened with pure unadulterated anger.

“Oh this—” Nabi and you were quick to tug him back down to sit. 

At the commotion, everyone in the cafeteria shifted their attention to your table, inquisitive and curious of what might've set off the resident social butterfly, someone who everyone knows the name of and has been at the end of his constant kindness.

Minhyuk is a passionate soul, especially towards his job and friends. Having been kicked out for being himself, he turned to the very skill that had his father screaming expletives at him. Recommended by Jihae, who had been visiting a nearby friend at the time and was passing by his street, had found him crying in the rain, outside the gate of his family house. She had taken him home and the rest was history.

There's never been a time when you've all hung out, five emptied bottles of Sojus later, where he wouldn't be crying, thankful for the chance your eldest had given him before turning to you, sobbing loudly and hugging you and the rest of the group in a tight grip. Heart full of gratefulness for his new found family.

So there was no shock that he had been the first one to jump at the first sign of aggression towards your group.

“Everyone is looking, hyuk. Let's calm down.” Nabi whispered to him, eyes cautious and Minhyuk grunted.

“She's lucky we're in public, I would've torn her down for that comment.”

At the end of the table, Alexa scoffed, incredulous. “Are you seriously mad that I'm saying my opinion? Is it a crime to express their own opinion these days?”

“Not when it's as rude as yours.”

Jihae sighs. “Calm down the both of you. Remember that you're working right now.”

You didn't doubt that everyone in the company has speculated about your relationship with Bangtan. It's hard not to when the maknaes hang onto your words and comfortably play around with you, especially not when you have dinner at their dorm every other week so you didn't blame the newbie for being curious.

That's what you would've felt if she hadn't been going around planting ideas into people's heads that she might be Jin’s soulmate like the delusional slug she is.

You had half a mind to loosen your grip on Minhyuk and let him wipe the floor with her unnecessarily expensive work clothes.

Shrugging both your and Nabi’s arms from his, Minhyuk stands up again only to walk away from the table. Instantly, the rest of your group follows him as he marches through the gathered crowd in the cafeteria and in front of the closed elevator.

You trailed behind him, waiting for his eventual frustrated explosion as he always does after an encounter with Alexa since she was hired. Once you were all far enough, hidden away from the prying eyes of the public, he threw his head back and let out a loud, exasperated groan.

“That girl I fucking swear!” He growled as combed his long hair back. “Why did we even let her continue working after the tour?! We could've just found a better alternative, she's getting into my fucking nerves!”

Nabi sighed. “It's not like we have a final say in this, hyuk. Whether you like it or not, we'll be stuck with her until Hyuna comes back.”

“God,” He groaned. “You should've let me hit her once! I'm so tired of hearing her bullshit! Surely, you've heard the lie she's spreading around right?!”

“Like Nabi has said, we can't do anything unless it starts to hurt the reputation of the idol. She's smart for not saying it outright and somehow containing it within the styling departments.” Jihae responds with a defeated shake of her head.

The answer didn't satisfy Minhyuk, who then turned to you with a pout and wide puppy eyes before promptly stomping over and taking both your hands in his.

“Surely you can pull some strings, noona? Tattle off to Namjoon hyung or Seokjin hyung, surely one of them would do something, right?”

You almost considered his suggestion. Alexa had been grating your gears ever since she arrived to replace Hyuna. You had excused her lack of cooperation with the team for being a newbie and clumsy mistakes of haphazardly leaving her items everywhere for the stress of the new environment she was suddenly put in. But for her to go around implying Seokjin is her soulmate is another can of worms you didn't even want to open.

The mere thought of her existing on the same floor as Seokjin invokes an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach.

But unfortunately, even if you had tattled to Namjoon about her, nothing would happen since it's not too drastic of an event to fire someone over for. It's also just not a good idea overall. The tour is set next Wednesday and while Alexa doesn't cooperate with most of the team, she unfortunately got the skill to back her up. Her skills nearly compensate for her rude personality.

Almost.

“They won't fire someone over a small argument, Hyuk. Just suck it in until Hyuna returns.”

“Which will be in December after Japan,” He mulls it over before shaking his head. “Yeah no, I don't think I can tolerate her nasty ass that long.”

The elevator opens—Jihae had called it the moment they've arrived, bless her—and everyone piles in. It was a quick ride, the stylists being on the floor below the cafeteria. In a flash the metal doors parts opened and you all walked out. But before you could follow your friends back into your department, your phone vibrated from your pocket.

Slowing down, you pulled the device out and looked at who's texting you.

           [13:02] Hobi: can ask you a favor            [13:02] Hobi: just an itsy bitsy favor 🤏🤏            [13:02] Hobi: I promise it's harmless😁

There's also a text from Guwon not too long ago. Something you missed while you were lost in your thoughts earlier.

           [12:30] Guwon: Eat your lunch soon!            [13:03] You: hi sorry late reply, I was having lunch with my co-workers, couldn’t use my phone during.            [13:03] You: I hope your lunch was good😁

You grimaced at how robotic your reply sounded before returning to Hoseok who had sent another text.

           [13:03] Hobi: don't leave me on seen please😢            [13:03] Hobi: noona noona noona noona noona            [13:04] You: hoba hoba hoba hoba hoba            [13:04] Hobi: YAY            [13:04] You: how can I help you?            [13:05] Hobi: can you deliver lunch to hyung?😁            [13:05] Hobi: I would do it myself but I'm currently helping Seokjin hyung and Namjoon with the dance            [13:06] Hobi: and we both know Yoongi hyung wouldn't eat on time if I do it            [13:06] Hobi: can you do it for me?🥺            [13:06] You: sure, you guys still in the dance practice room?            [13:07] Hobi: ur a life saver            [13:07] Hobi: an angel in disguise            [13:07] Hobi: but yes😁            [13:08] Hobi: just knock on the door when you're here😁

“Y/N?” Jihae asks and you look back up to see your group waiting for you.

“Who is it?” Nabi adds.

“Better be news of Alexa getting fired. If not, I don't want to hear it.” Minhyuk says as he crosses his arms. You shook your head and he threw his hands up in frustration.

“Got asked to help with something but I'll be back in a moment.”

With a brief goodbye, you turned back to the elevator and directed yourself to the floor where the dance practice rooms are at. 

The walking distance from the elevator is not too far from the dance room but seeing five familiar teenage boys speaking in hushed whispers and hitting each other's arms in front of the vending machine just a feet away from the door easily distracted you.

If they had been crowding around the machine, you would've thought they were fighting over the last snack but instead they were all facing the same direction as your destination.

Sneaking up to the five giants, you're slowly introduced to the dilemma they were hitting and pushing each other for.

“You're the oldest, you should go and knock!”

“Just because I'm the oldest doesn't mean I should always be the first! Why are you even ordering me around?! Go ask Huening Kai instead!”

“Why me? I can't talk in Korean, I-I’m foreigner.”

“Oh don't you pull that shit on us. How are you only a foreigner when it matters?!”

“What are we talking about?”

Three shrill screams pierced through the air as the five of them jumped back, awkwardly long bodies falling against and clutching onto each other for dear life, all of them huddling onto the next body for protection. But once they recognize you, Yeonjun immediately regains composure and breaks off from the cluster to stomp over to you with his bottom lip jut out as he dramatically latches onto your arm.

“Noonaa, why would you scare us like that?!”

When you first met Yeonjun, he was standing in front of the cafeteria bar in front of the exhausted cashier and the long irritated line of workers, peering up onto the menu before looking down to count his money. He looked like a little kid lost in the sea of busy adults, painfully alone and helpless as the hungry customers behind him began to complain loudly.

He had been holding up the line as he recounted his change once more, hoping he had miscounted and that he could afford what he was eyeing. Seeing his hopeful expression crumble into defeat was enough to make you approach him and buy him lunch. 

Yoongi had teased you when he found you being trailed by another kid, saying you were collecting every doe eyed kid in the company and becoming their reliable older sister. Especially when his soulmates began to follow his footsteps.

“What were you guys doing? Fighting against who gets the last chip?”

Beomgyu then ran to wrap his arms around yours, the sweetest and most innocent smile plastered on his face as the two boys began to walk you forward, the destination? The dance studio.

“You know that we love you right, noona?”

Why these kids are genuinely intimidated by your sweet Hoba is beyond you. The man screams and flinches at the smallest of bugs daring to exist two feet away from him. Still, you entertained them with a raise of an eyebrow and Yeonjun continued.

“Our favorite make-up noona, the greatest sister figure we have ever had, my savior and my salvation, our dearest credit—”

“Okay, what do you guys want?”

You all stopped in front of the dance room door. IDOL was blasting on the other side of the wall, the floor vibrating with the beat. Although muffled, you could pick up the sound of shoes squeaking against the floor and heavy footsteps accompanying the song.

“Could you pretty please knock on the door?” Beomgyu asks, pleading and also hopeful and the rest of his brothers chimed from behind you with their own versions of the request which ended up sounding like a bunch of warbled words.

“Couldn't you have done that yourselves?”

“But they're busy and J-Hope sunbae is scary.” Taehyun quietly adds behind you.

“Hoba? He's the sweetest though?”

“Okay, let's not lie to ourselves now,” Huening Kai shoots back before motioning to the door. “Just… knock and we'll handle it from there. We promise!”

“Cross our hearts.” Taehyun says, drawing a cross over his chest. The other four follow.

Dance teacher Hoseok to you is a hoax. You've never been subjected to his intense scrutiny and harsh perfectionist side, always managing to slip past or only being able to meet him outside of the workplace where he'd be far relaxed and cheerful. 

Sure there's been plenty of photographic and recorded evidence posted in the group chat but you still find it hard to believe he's more frightening than the bugs that scare him off the room.

“He's not that scary, guys.”

Taehyun scoffs. “Easy for you to say.”

“Crush privileges.” Soobin quietly adds.

“What—”

The door swings open before you could ask what he meant and Jungkook steps out of the room. 

In a span of a second, the memories of his drunken confession flashed before your eyes. From the moment he had entered your home with bags of snacks to the way his voice had sounded, hushed and shaky, when he asked you for a kiss.

Seeing him again outside the concert where Namjoon and Yoongi had made sure there were no contacts between the two of you, evoked a weird sense of longing within you. Having absolutely no contact with Jungkook for two days had you missing and recollecting your past memories with him. In the short amount of time you've been away, you wondered about many things.

From something as headache-inducing variations of hows and whys questioning his attraction to you to something more simple and short like ‘how is he feeling right now?’.

It was a dumb question with an obvious answer yet you wanted to know. Curiosity and anxiety clawing at your chest. 

Is your friendship still okay? 

Did rejecting someone this time finally ruin your entire dynamic with the group? 

Should you have chosen someone like your sister had told you to do? 

They have plagued your mind and haunted you in your waking days yet the moment you finally see him, your mouth dries up and your voice dies in your throat.

But before you could even muster the courage to talk to him, he turned his attention to the boys who had retreated behind you the moment the door opened and greeted them with a short bow before walking away, completely ignoring you. Pain blooms in your chest like a thorned vine wrapping and strangling your heart tighter and tighter as you watch his back disappear around the corner.

“Did sunbae just ignore noona?”

“Is that even possible?”

“I didn't hallucinate that, right?”

“Noona, are you okay?” Soobin’s concerned voice, soft and cautious, brings you back to reality and you turn to them, a precariously built smile on your face.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

The five shared a look as you stepped into the studio, exposing you to the two figures laid on the floor, heaving and panting. The main topics of your thoughts were sitting at the far corner next to the black plastic table while Hoseok stood in the middle of the room, unaffected by whatever had happened and was chugging the water from the small bottle in hand.

As if he had grown a sixth sense for you, he suddenly spun around, a wide grin brightening his stern face.

“Noona!”

At this, the two men on the floor perks up. Namjoon merely waves before promptly dropping back down, Jimin and Taehyung only smiled at you, looking spent from whatever routine Hoseok had them do before turning to the two tallest. Seokjin had pushed himself up to stand and approach the black plastic table from the other end of the room where a dozen take outs were.

As Hoseok approached you, his gaze then found the cluster of five heads peeking through the sides of the entrance and laughed.

“You’ve got five ducklings following you, noona, didn't know you started collecting more after our maknaes.” He jokes before turning to the teens and waving them over. The group then spread to occupy the space in the doorway and bowed. “What can I do for you guys?”

They suddenly disappear behind the wall but you hear them hitting each other and their whisper-shouts, it took a long while before Soobin was pushed out of the shadow and forced to talk to their sunbae. The painfully shy teen shuffles over, shoulders folded forward and taking the smallest of steps forward before stuttering a bow.

A wide smile brightens Hoseok's face, endeared by the boy’s overly formal actions.

“H-Hi sunbae.”

“Hello, Soobinie.”

“We-we we're just wondering if we-we could watch you guys? Practicing dancing I mean—Not that you sunbaes need it cause you're professionals!—I mean of course you still need to practice to be better at dancing and—wait no—”

“Yah Soobin, stop embarrassing us like this!” Yeonjun scolds and immediately, the boy almost broke his neck with how face he looked over his shoulder.

“Then go do it yourself!”

“We don't mind, as long as you guys stay in a corner like good kids then we'll all be good!” Hoseok cuts in before an argument ensues.

There's a tap on your shoulder and you look over to see Seokjin standing behind you, a gentle smile playing on his plush lips, both hands hidden behind him.

There's an awkwardness that hung in the air as you both gazed into each other's eyes before he cleared his throat and began.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Yes.” You lie. Jin caught it.

Turning to face him fully, he then takes one of your hands and forces your fingers to hold the neatly folded top of a paper takeout bag.

“I've packed Yoongi’s portion here as well as an extra for you.”

“You didn't need to, I already ate.”

“I even had them order some soft tofu soup, you were craving it last week, right?”

It was sweet being loved so selflessly by him. It tasted like the sweetest nectar from the garden of Eden with a foul aftertaste once your mind reminded you of your sins against the man and the thorned tendrils of guilt coiled tighter around your chest, its sourness easily overlapping the sweetness of his love.

After Jungkook pretending you didn't exist earlier, having Jin, someone who you didn't even know still admired you all these years while you had messed around with many faces and came to work with some of their marks on your skin, expressing his care had you almost bursting at the seams. 

It enrages you thinking about Alexa going around spreading her bullshit spiel about being Jin’s soulmate. As if she deserved a morsel of his attention.

Nobody deserves Seokjin, not even you.

“Thank you Jinnie, but I already ate.” You then remembered your promise to return to your friends soon. “And Jihae is expecting me back immediately.”

“Coffee and toast is not lunch.” He deadpans as he takes your hand and forces it to close around the pack. “Just eat it with Yoongi, he'd be happy to be able to eat with someone and I’ll handle Jihae noona.”

“How the hell did you know what I had for lunch?”

Shock crossed over his face and he brought a hand over his mouth. “I was right? I just had a hunch on what you ate.”

“That’s a bit creepy, old man.”

“Maybe it’s a soulmate mark manifesting.” He shrugs but you doubt he meant it in a joking way.

“You’re way past the age, give it up hyung.” 

You both turned to the door at Jungkook’s voice. Like earlier, he had strode in without acknowledging your presence, something Seokjin had noticed immediately. His eyes slid to the five boys tentatively pushing each other to the empty corner of the studio before looking back at their youngest.

“How could you insult me like this? I fed you with my hands, you should be addressing me formally with a full 90° bow!” 

“I should’ve bitten your hands at least once back then.” Jungkook jokingly muses.

Before you could witness their banter explode, there’s a tug on your shirt and you spun around to face Hoseok who had nudged his head to the door. Jin had already marched towards the maknae before you could even thank him so you left.

Once you were both outside the studio, Hoseok closed the door behind and hugged you.

“Wh-what is this?”

“A thank you hug for being the sacrifice and feeding the grumpy dragon instead.” He says with a laugh but you knew what he was trying to do. 

“I’m fine, Hoba. I didn’t expect us to be buddy buddy again after what happened.”

He sighed.

“He still shouldn’t have done that. I’m sure Seokjin hyung will talk to him about it later.”

Stepping back, you shook your head. “No need, I understand why he’s acting like that.”

His eyes regarded your face for a moment before pulling you back in for a hug and nuzzling his head on top of yours. “You don’t have to defend him noona, he’s acting like a child. It's our duty as his hyungs to fix that up.”

“Please don’t. It feels like you’re taking sides, he might think it's unfair.”

He laughs. “Are you kidding? ‘Cause from what I’m seeing, he’s being a petulant child. He should handle the rejection with more grace when it's his fault he’s in this predicament. You know Seokjin hyung warned him, right?”

“He told me when he and Tae took him home.”

“Then you should know better than defend him.” You opened your mouth to refute but he pressed a finger to your lips. “Don't start. He's not the same sixteen years old we had to raise back then, he needs correcting.”

With two hands on your shoulders, he then spun you around and began to push you towards the elevator, leaving no room for an argument. 

Once he had led you back to the locomotive, he briefly stepped in to push the correct button for the production floor and stepped back and waved as the elevator wall slowly closed to a shut.

“Now go feed hyung and yourself before you go back to work. Thank you again noona and see you later.

“Special delivery for a grumpy hairless cat!”

A beat.

Then came a grumbled: “Come in.”

Punching the proper strings of numbers on the door code, you open the door to the genius lab to find Yoongi sitting in front of his computer, one ear off of his headphones as he goes back to a specific second again and again.

Situating yourself on the couch next to the door, you place the paper bag on the coffee table and slowly unload all its contents, hoping its smell is enough to deter him from his work just for a second.

Taking one of the containers, you open it to see bulgogi generously sprinkled on top of rice. The savory smell of the dish wafting out almost immediately, and Yoongi visibly perks up from his table; if perking up meant him temporarily stopping his incessant clicking and head tilting a little to the side.

“Is it all bulgogi?”

Placing down the container, you opened the other one to reveal the same dish except this time with fried rice.

“Yeah, you want fried rice or no?”

“Whatever you like less.” He grumbled as he returned to his work.

“That's not a proper answer.”

“Just take whatever you want, I like either.” He muttered.

Staring at the food on the table, you found yourself at a crossroads. The fried rice looks more appetizing than the plain white rice on the other container but you've had enough sodium for the week, having challenged Taehyung, Jimin and Jin to who can eat more ramyeon in one sitting the day before the concert.

But today just doesn't feel like a plain rice type of day. 

But fried rice isn't healthy.

“Just choose please, I don't know what I want either.” You groaned out, frustrated.

With a grunt, the man took off his headphones and turned to face you before maneuvering himself closer to the table and picking up the container with the plain rice.

“Stop thinking so much about what is healthy or not,” He remarked as he took a pair of chopsticks from the paper bag. “I could hear your thoughts even with my headphones on and my back turned.”

“Then why tell me to choose if you already knew?”

Yoongi only shrugged as he took his first bite, prompting you to take yours. He seems to mull over something as he chews, staring at the food on the table for a while before placing the container down and leaving the room without a word.

You had learned not to question his confusing actions throughout the years, even then you couldn't help but be bewildered.

When he returned, he was carrying two drinks in one hand. Sprite and Kombucha. Settling back on his chair, he placed down the bottle of Kombucha in front of him before opening the can of sprite and placing it in front of you.

“I don't have any straws on me so you'll have to just chug it.”

People don't usually notice it but you think Jin and Yoongi are more similar in how they show their affections, just in different volumes. Seokjin’s care is always voiced out, always asking whether you want something or not and offering to do or make it for you while Yoongi just somehow always knows what you want and does it wordlessly. Both of them are always willing to provide.

If you had asked them for something as ludicrous as fried cotton candy with melted cheese on top, Jin would complain and express his disgust openly, ranting about the strenuous process while holding the handle of the pan and a spatula in the other while Yoongi would cook it without questioning your sanity.

Either way, it never fails to make your chest warm.

“Thank you, Yoongs.”

He suddenly takes a huge bite, bringing the container close to his face before humming out his response, easily flustered as ever.

You both eat your food in silence. With years of friendship under your belt, you have learned to enjoy the serenity Yoongi brings. It had been rough at the start, his quietness matched with his stoic expression had often led to misunderstandings where you often thought he thinks of you badly for being close to his brothers, especially after Jin’s confession.

He had confronted you once he heard it from Namjoon—who had immediately tattled onto his hyung after you had told him not to tell anyone—, saying he simply had problems expressing himself. You could remember how his hands, despite being entangled with each other, shook with his voice, could recall how he had forced himself to hold eye contact with you when he always had difficulties in holding one.

It was thoughtful and that was the first time you had felt the tingles of warmth in your chest. Teenage you had her feet swept off by a stuttering mess of a guy with eye contact issues.

Despite Jin being the first in the group to confess, Yoongi was the first to touch your heart.

“Why are you looking at me like that?’

You tilt your head. “Like what?”

A conflict of emotion crossed his eyes as he struggled to find the words but before he could, your phone vibrated from your pocket.

           [13:54] Guwon: I'm at the cafe close to your building

You almost choked on your spit, surprised by his message and Yoongi hurriedly put his food down to pat your back. His office was on the other side of the city, why would he drive so far just to get some coffee with you during work days? 

Love, a voice answers and you immediately waved it off.

There was no way he had fallen in love with you in such a short time. You have been on two dates with him yet he hadn't asked you to be his girlfriend when there's been multiple times throughout those days and nights he had the chance to do so.

During nights where you'd restlessly toss around on your bed, you found yourself facing one more problem outside of your friends.

You didn't notice when it started when Guwon began to make your stomach churn and it bothers you to the nines at how you were being suspicious of him.

Guwon is a genuinely nice guy with a legit and grand background from what you learned throughout the short time you've been hanging out, his case stories of helping out women stuck in abusive relationships and bringing justice to those the law has failed once proven true when you've typed his name on Naver. The man didn't deserve the doubt twisting in your stomach nor the aversion you were slowly gaining towards him.

Your conflicting feelings surrounding your friends' confessing and odd behaviors shouldn't be affecting your relationship with the man you will marry at some point yet it ended up doing so.

There was something foul and bitter simmering in your guts these days whenever you force yourself to think about him during your time. It burns like bile and tasted like betrayal, almost like unfaithfulness; you try not to think hard on why you feel this way but it's hard not to when Jimin and Taehyung's jealousy keeps flashing behind your eyelids with every blink.

           [13:55] You: Oh wow, which one?            [13:55] Guwon: The one on the left side, Areum Cafe.            [13:55] Guwon: Are you free to get a cup of coffee with me?            [13:56] Guwon: Sorry for springing this up on you            [13:55] Guwon: I missed you🙁

“Who is it?”

“It's Guwon,” You say, scratching your head. “He says he's at the cafe down the road and wants to meet up.”

Yoongi placed down his food and stared at you, long and hard. Cat-like eyes narrowed and observing as he leaned back on his chair. You feel his eyes regard your body language before sighing.

“I assume you need help getting out? I'm not as… bold as the younger ones but I think I can help… somehow”

His appearance would surely help tamper down the discomfort that had bloomed with the recent revelations. Yoongi is intimidating as he is caring, having him next to you would ensure you a shorter time spent with the man, as well as prohibit him from pulling another surprise kiss on you.

But why are you so uncomfortable spending time with Guwon anyways?

You didn't have any problems before, even wanted to sleep with him the night prior so why now?

“How’d you know I need help?”

“You looked like your mother just told you to come to another date.”

Immediately, you ironed out the frown you didn't realize had marred your face. 

“I thought you would've been delighted you've finally met your match?”

“I-I am.”

Yoongi clicks his tongue, the sound echoing louder in the silence of the room. “Try again. A little more sure this time.”

You sighed and relented, knowing the man wouldn't let you take a step out of the door if you lied to him again.

“Everything just started feeling wrong for some reason.”

He raised an eyebrow at that, eyes widening with surprise. “How so?”

“You know, when Jimin and Taehyung came over last night to make sure I got home safe, they were acting strange towards Guwon.” When he made no move to respond, you continued. “When Guwon suddenly kissed me, Taehyung looked… scary. Jimin too, if you can believe it.”

“I actually do.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Yoongi goes silent again, mulling over something as his gaze finally met yours for the first time that day. “For someone so perceptive, you're a bit oblivious.”

“What is it?”

“I won't elaborate, I'll let you realize things on your own.”

You groaned, facepalming because ain't no way Yoongi just added more fuel to the forest fire that is your thoughts. The man doesn’t even look aware of what his words had done, reaching over and innocently sipping on his kombucha once more.

“Back to what you were saying, why do you think it felt wrong to see Guwon?”

With his calm voice and the deafening silence of the room, you found yourself comparing Yoongi, who even has his hands folded over his crossed jean-clad legs, to a therapist and laughed.

“Didn’t know I was due for a therapy session when I dropped off your lunch.”

“Well I did, so deal with it,” He placed down his bottle. “Do you need my help or not?”

“Is breathing important? Obviously yes.”

He nods and stands, but not before saying, “I hope you know this conversation is far from over.”

While his presence had given you more peace of mind, leaving the BigHit building with Yoongi—who had forgone his usual outdoor style of beanies and big prescription glasses matched with a black mask in order to appear more intimidating, claiming the beanie softens his edges, something you playfully rolled your eyes at—still felt like walking into your doom.

The moment he steps out of the building, suddenly everyone's eyes are on him. The cool stoicness surrounding him commanded attention and the people listened without complaint, not when Yoongi looked like every highschool teenager's bad boy wet dreams.

Strolling into the cafe is easier with Yoongi trailing behind you like a guard dog; or in his case, a guard panther.

There's something about having the rapper, who has never shown a hint of romantic attraction to you in all your years being their friend, accompanying you to meet the man you might marry once the discomfort born from conflicting feelings subsides. It makes your heart jittery and your stomach twisting uncomfortably, the nerves from meeting Guwon only adding fuel to the fire.

It felt improper somehow, as if you were breaking an invisible rule you're yet to uncover from the depths of your soul.

The tempting aroma of freshly baked buttery goods and roasted coffee beans greeted you the moment Yoongi had pushed the door open for the both of you. In the controlled volume of mixed chatters from different tables, a calm acoustic instrumental flies through the air and you almost forgot what you came here for. 

It didn't take long for you to find Guwon sitting on the table farthest from the entrance, secluded and away from the wide glass pane windows. When the door had opened with a chime, the man had raised his head from his phone and met your eyes. You try not to linger on how his expression stiffened when he realized you had Yoongi in tow before a smile wipes it away.

“You see him?” Yoongi’s voice grumbled from behind and you nod. Guwon stands, the sound of the chair scraping against the floor catching his attention. “That him?”

“Yeah, I don't think he's happy I brought you with me.”

He chuckled lightly. “Good.”

Guwon met you both halfway, arms opened wide to greet you with a hug and you let him. When you pull away, his hand casually falls to your waist and your skin scrawls. 

Immediately, Yoongi’s eyes drop to look at it but before any hint of emotion breaks onto his face, his cool eyes are already back on your suitor’s face.

“Which one of your kids am I given the pleasure of meeting this time?” Guwon asks before offering his free hand to Yoongi who had taken it with a carefully crafted blank expression and unrelenting stare.

Seeing him remain in eye contact with Guwon surprises you. The man, even after your years of being friends, had never held eye contact for longer than five seconds outside the time he had opened up to you about his struggle with expressing himself.

It made you curious. Why is he provoking him? Is he testing Guwon?

“I'm not one of her kids, I'm actually older than her. Min Yoongi.”

“Yoo Guwon, a pleasure to meet you.”

Even when both their hands had long pulled away from each other, their eyes lingered longer. Challenging on Guwon's part, and taunting on Yoongi's as he stared back, completely unfazed.

Seeing them silently engage in a dick measuring contest, something you didn’t expect Yoongi to ever partake in since he had been loud in his distaste for his own gender, irked you. The tightening grip on your waist didn't help, wanting nothing but to slap it off if it wasn't for your promise to your mother to not fuck this up.

‘If you don't tell them what you're uncomfortable with, then they'll continue on doing it. The other guys out there aren't like us who'd feel guilty if we knew, I fear that they might take advantage of you instead, noona.’ Hobi’s voice echoes in your mind.

Sorry Hoba, I'm trying to make this work. But if this behavior continues, then I'll listen to you.

“I thought you idols are often more busy than the average folk?”

Yoongi sucks air through his teeth before responding. “We were in the middle of a fitting prior. I hope you don't mind me keeping watch, can't have our staff getting distracted by heartthrobs like you.”

Guwon laughed, a little louder than usual.

“She's been telling you guys about me?”

“All the good things, don't worry.” He then turns to you, eyes searching your face for a hint of extreme discomfort before continuing. “I'll go order the others some food.”

Sparing one last nod of his head at the man next to you, Yoongi then turns towards the counter to order. The moment he was out of earshot, dread drops onto your stomach like an anvil and you looked up at the Guwon whose eyes were already trained onto yours, a lazy smile stretched on his lips.

“I assume you’ll be needed back once he’s done?”

“ Yeah, I’m sorry it's just… Wrong timing.”

He waves you off. “Nonsense, it’s my fault for bringing you out of your work. They won’t fine you for this, right?”

“I went with one of my bosses, of course they won’t.”

His eyes studied your face for a moment, searching. For what? You don’t want to know. When he had found whatever it was, his face melts into a softer, more mellow expression and your heart clenches. The outpouring of awe in his eyes felt heavy and thick, it clogs up your throat and weighs your already strained form.

“I missed you.” He whispers with the sweetest of voices. “Did you miss me?”

“I-I do, kept thinking about you...”

The lie weighted like lead on your tongue and burned like acid. Compared to the genuineness practically dripping from his lips, your words fall short in your ears. With the way his softened expression crumpled into a frown, you knew he also noticed the hesitance in your voice.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. With the tour being so close and more sponsorship offers coming in, it got a bit stressful than usual.”

When his arms reach around your shoulders and pull you flush to his chest, you will yourself not to tense. You were both hugging in the middle of the coffee shop and you could feel the nearby patrons’ stare pressing onto your body, judging and unpleasant. Embarrassment burns your cheeks and the desire to push him away grows.

Even Jimin and Taehyung doesn’t dare to get affectionate in public, none of your friends ever did anything more than a hand on your shoulder to lead you to the correct direction or a pat on the back when Jungkook had more sleep and food ingested, and was bouncing off the walls and you just happen to be assigned to him.

You wanted nothing more but to tell him to back off but the words got stuck in your throat. 

“Just a tip, she doesn’t like PDA so maybe step away?”

Immediately, Guwon scrambles off of you. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Guwon says, his hand falling from your shoulder and down to your arm. You shivered.

A firm and familiar hand lands on your shoulder before Yoongi tugs you back to stand next to him. There’s a set in jaw as his eyes narrowed down at Guwon, the hand replacing Guwon on your arm is tense and rigid but not enough to hurt. 

You sensed that he had a lot to say once you were out of sight, all of them expressing his distaste for the man you’re set to eventually marry. Even when you were all standing there, you could already imagine the curses and nitpicked details pouring out of his lips.

“We’ll be going back now,” Yoongi says to Guwon, voice tight as if holding back his emotions as he curtly bowed. “Our leader is already demanding us to come back so we’ll have to cut this meeting short. It was nice meeting you.”

Guwon looked incredulous at the turn of events, eyes shuttering before he nodded in understanding and turned to flash a smile at you.

“Message me when you’re home, alright?”

Yoongi didn’t even linger long enough for you to respond, already walking away. By the time you turned to look at him, he was three gaits away from leaving the coffee shop. With a dip of your head, you sprint to follow closely behind the man now pushing through the door. 

You could understand the reason for his irritation, always the most protective out of the bunch and the one with the most to say about men. To see your closest female friend be made uncomfortable by her suitor, a stranger in his eyes, there was no doubt he’d be livid.

But why does he have to walk so fast?! 

You’re not physically built to match his pace, he takes one step and you have to do three. It was infuriating but you couldn’t exactly scream at him to slow down in public, catching the attention of other people would only create more problems than you both could take on.

He eventually slows down to a halt in front of the double glass doors of the BigHit building and you were able to finally catch up to him. In the lobby, you both calmly approached the elevator, a complete juxtaposition of how hasty you two were not a moment before. 

But the moment the metal doors of the elevator shuts, isolating you and Yoongi from the rest, he begins.

“I don’t like him.”

It was stupid but you wanted to know what specific trait he had found irksome.

(Deep down, you knew you were finding a reason to stop, to let go of Guwon and stop this stupid charade.)

“He didn’t even notice you were uncomfortable earlier. When you told us that he’s good, I thought he’d be decent, not top grade bare minimum.”

“H-He was actually good, believe it or not.”

“So he's a pretentious prick?”

You sighed. “H-He just—”

“Hyung wouldn't approve.” Yoongi cuts in, his hardened eyes now piercing through yours, almost taunting you to bite back. “Not just him, everyone wouldn't. You'd break poor Jiminie’s heart if you continued seeing him once he found out how he acted today.”

You knew he was guilt tripping you and it was working. But you swore Guwon was better than the others, he had treated you with a gentleness and care your friends had shown yet something had changed after that night. 

Was Taehyung's clinginess, their presence in general, been the catalyst?

Had he felt threatened by them showing up? You had established early on that they're your boss and your mother would've mentioned your relationship with the boys in passing at least, so why would he feel threatened by them?

“I know what you're thinking but it doesn't work like that.” His voice, now softer than it had been earlier, pierces through the trance you’ve submerged into. “Even if you had said you’re only friends with them, it's human nature for us to still feel intimidated even if we're just friends.”

“That's dumb.”

He shrugged. “Men are dumb, I'm just slightly better than the rest.”

“That's debatable.” You joked and he raised an eyebrow.

“Your taste is questionable.” He shot back and you hit his arm in response, making him laugh but it dissolves as fast as it came. “I'm serious, hyung won't like it if you continue meeting Guwon.”

“I know, I can already hear him and we're not even there yet.”

“Don’t be dumb, if you want a husband so bad, tell aunt to wait for us to renew our contract this October then I'll marry you.” 

He meant it as a joke, you knew that, but you couldn't stop the butterflies in your stomach from fluttering wildly. You're suddenly reminded of a scene from years ago, his alcohol-flushed cheeks pulled taut by the dopey smile stretching his lips wide and his slurred voice admitting something you—until today—have no recollection of what had been uttered.

You both have been battered to the nines, drunken out of your minds and stumbling over the smallest rocks on the street by the time Seokjin and Namjoon had found you halfway home. It was a miracle you both got off unscathed with how giggly and dumbed down you both were.

“Bold of you to assume I'd say yes.”

“I got wealth, I got a good mug on me, what else would you need?”

“Seokjin also got those.”

He pondered long and hard, sucking air through his teeth before he turned to you again with a glint in his eyes.

“You know what they say about my tongue right?”

He couldn’t say he didn’t expect the punch in the arm that followed soon after.

When the elevator door opens and you both go straight for the dance studio, the conversation about Guwon is put on pause and you dread the moment Seokjin hears what had transpired in the coffee shop when suddenly, Yoongi stills and hissed out a curse.

“Shit, I forgot Jungkook’s muffins.”

[aroaceleovaldez]

I need to see more demigods who bite. Like jason totally feels the need to bite stuff, and leo half-jokingly suggests getting him a chew toy (like a dog). Nico absolutely bites to show affection, (maybe not willy nilly like jason but still) like just randomly biting people he's close with shoulders or hands because he just loves them so much (jason both bite to express affection and stim)

Anyways petition to normalize neurodivergent people who bite as a form of expressing affection or stimming.

oh absolutely. I actually have a tier list of "which of the Argo II crew & co are most likely to bite:"

Jason gnaws on people to show affection. He is extremely "Everything I love belongs in my mouth and everything I hate belongs between my teeth." He mostly stopped doing it for awhile cause of the whole "being trained to be the Perfect Praetor™" and having to mask a lot more, but he picked it up again a bit when he and Reyna became friends cause she didn't care and then more with the Argo II crew. He definitely hoards chewlery. He also definitely bit Krios real bad when they were fighting, if not outright killed him with his teeth.

Nico is a younger sibling. He has no qualms against biting in fights, any fight, but he does associate biting with fights. Jason tries to friendly-bite him one time and Nico just takes it as declaration of war and they end up tussling for like five minutes. After he gets used to Jason though he picks it up a bit too, mostly just chewing on people's hands. Also I 100% hc that when he was in Tartarus he just went full teeth-and-claws mode to survive. Honestly he bites more in regular combat and even training than Jason does, mostly just cause he's not above fighting dirty. If it works, it works. Also I hc he has sharp canines and is small so he might as well.

Frank's third but only on technicality cause shapeshifting. When he's human he's pretty much equal level to everybody else which is "only bites as a last resort."

Everybody else is pretty on-par with each other but Percy is probably just sliiightly more likely to bite not for any particular reason, he just considers it a valid fight tactic in a pinch (unlike Nico, who just considers it a general fight tactic). Also he got the oral stim adhd vibes. He has a lot of chewlery. They're all sea-themed, of course. Thalia is also pretty equal to Percy in terms of "biting as a valid fighting tactic."

Annabeth is also like. She's less likely to bite than Percy but more likely to than the rest of the crew. It's just a valid battle tactic under certain scenarios to her (and that includes training). She does consider it a low-blow though. She's also definitely got the oral stim adhd too. Lots of chewlery, rip her pencils and pens, etc etc. Her and Percy probably have a shared chewlery collection.

Piper is not the bitey type but she does have little to no formal combat training so yknow, wet cat technique. I do also totally believe she'd also have a chewing stim though. Like yknow how I draw her with the little braid sidebangs? Yeah she definitely chews on those and that's part of why she wears her hair like that. The other reason is that braiding it is one of her other stims.

[wannaeatramyeon]

You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?

Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.

Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...

When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.

At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.

Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.

Female characters I like

Mary Kim

Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.

Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.

On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.

Lua Im

Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.

Lua has potential.

Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.

Just please don't white knight her.

Crystal Choi (meh)

And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.

She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.

What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.

Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.

Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)

Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.

Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.

And I do like that she's good at maths too.

Wasted potential

Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)

Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.

And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).

If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.

Leonn Lee

I just. What the fuck was this.

A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.

She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?

Hate for irrational reasons

Joy Hong

Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.

Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.

Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.

Others

I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.

And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?

LET. THEM. FIGHT.

Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.

And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?

Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??

HUH. TELL ME THAT.

In Summary

Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.

I don't care much about anyone else.

And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.

[yakool-foolio]

Phoenix Wright

Just gonna go off of what's listed on the shipping wiki, cause if I tried to rate every single pair with him with the amount of characters in these games we'd be here all month.

Phoenix x Iris: 8/10; very cute, me likey. Iris genuinely caring for Phoenix while pretending to be Dahlia is super sweet, and Phoenix instantly being able to tell the difference between Iris n Dahlia is concrete evidence he knows her like the back of his hand. While I personally don't see them dating again post-Bridge, they'd definitely stay good friends forever.

Phoenix x Mia: 4/10; can't imagine this relationship lasting very long before death knocks on their door, but the utter grief is suffocating. Their relationship would just be full of sadness on both ends; they'd probably date for a short time just to try to forget Mia losing Diego and Phoenix being betrayed by Dahlia. Romance as a coping mechanism.

Phoenix x Maya: 0/10; nuh uh, they're siblings to me. I refuse to see them in a romantic light personally, but it certainly isn't the end of the world if I come across it. I don't care what anyone else does, I just don't ship it in the slightest.

Phoenix x Dahlia: 4/10; only fun if it's one-sided. I wanna see either Dahlia silently hating Phoenix's guts as he boasts the pretty lil necklace she gave him, or Phoenix cursing under his breath at the thought of talking to Dahlia again while she's possessing Maya. I need them to be bitter or I shall turn my nose up at it.

Phoenix x Doug Swallow: 2/10; this is a thing apparently, according to the wiki. I mean, I can guess why people might ship it; Doug basically saves Phoenix from the impeding doom of Dahlia and then they make out about it. Only reason it's rated so low is cause I haven't seen anything about this ship to really get a sense for their chemistry, but I do get the baseline concept.

Phoenix x Godot: 6/10; a ship I see a surprising amount of content for and I think it's getting me to like it more. Another relationship sunken in grief, but it's a much better fit on them in my eyes. Coffee dates are the best dates. Imagine all the coffee shop AUs that exist just for them.

Phoenix x Gumshoe: 5/10; neutral on this one, but I do like the concept! Just a couple o' guys staking out crime scenes together, lovin' their work. The best dudes for the job. They're supposed to be rivals but it never works. They're homies for life.

Phoenix x Kristoph: 7/10; if I liked Kristoph more, I might like this ship more than I already do. I am a sucker for toxic yaoi, so I'll gladly take it! Kristoph definitely has respect for Phoenix, as much as he hates to admit it, so why not seal the deal by making them have a very shaky relationship that ends in one framing the other for murder. Phoenix is suffering Edgeworth withdrawal and it's leading him to dark places. Kristoph is the Maria to Phoenix's James (n Edgeworth's Mary) and no one can tell me otherwise.

Phoenix x Lang: 5/10; I have no idea where this ship materialized from, but it just sounds funny. Alpha Wolf hot shot and his sassy lawyer boyfriend. If you thought Phoenix's sass was apparent enough already, Lang just intensifies it by being around him and they have a blast gossiping about the competition. I wanna see them interact in canon now.

Phoenix x Edgeworth: 10/10; A CERTIFIED CLASSIC! ONE OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF MLM SHIPS! THEY ARE A PART OF INTERNET HISTORY! It's so hard for me to ever think of them not being hopelessly in love with each other. They're husbands to me. They have matching wedding rings you just need to look closer.

Phoenix x Larry: 3/10; I don't like Larry so in turn it's really hard for me to like this ship. I think it could be interesting if teen Phoenix is in his bicurious era and does practice dates with Larry who is more than willing to help him out. Two men realized they're bi that day.

[moldy-flowers]

Here's my Naruto character tier list... please don't kill me.

LOOK I KNOW I GET JT BYT THEY JUST DONT SPEAK TO ME

going through all my reasons:

My boy: I cannot physically fucking breathe if I am not thinking about him at all times sometimes its genuinely painful how much I love him I love sasuke so FUCKING much

Would kill myself for them to even spare a glance in my direction: Sakura, im gonna be honest I have a pink bias... and also girlboss she's so amazing we love a saviour complex. Hinata, I put here there for more for the nostalgia, when I watched the show at 7 she was always my favourite and i would rant to my friends about her. Sighh what I would do just for a hug :(

They'll always have a place in my heart: what can I say? They're silly little guys :3 I don't think this one is too controversial (uhmm they werent in the tier list I used but Mikoto and Fugaku are here too)

Goofygoober :): put this here last minute cause I liked these ones more than the others but I didn't like them to always keep them in my heart. Karin so high is probably gonna set some people annoyed but eh she's a gal :3 how can you hate a gal :3

Sillys: they're silly. I like the sillys

What an idiot (affectionate): theyre idiots. And i like them. Okay, I know. Kakshi is very low. I just... idk I've never felt that love for him. He's a guy and i like him, but uhm. I think that's it. I've genuinely tried to love him but i just like him.

Someone from naruto (probably): Naruto characters that I just do not care about. IM SORRY IM SORRY I JUST DONT CARE, KUSHINA, MINATO, GAI, MEI, KONAN, YAMATO, TOBIRAMA UH UH THE OTHER ONES I JUST REALLY DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING TOWARDS THEM, THEYRE COOL, PROBABLY I DONT KNOW.

What an idiot (derogatory): they're idiots. And I don't like them. No strong feelings about them really, wouldn't turn my nose away if someone drew some good fanart of them or if they were in the main plot of a fic. I'm still traumatized from that one comic where hashirama killed tobirama for madara idk I just can think of him the same way again...

Ermm...: what the freak :/... (I'm sorry)

I know what you are: I'm running out of things to say I just feel anger towards them idk.

Get AWAY: I don't think this is to disagreeable.

Get the actual fuck away from my boy: I DONT FUCKING CARE, I HATE ITACHI I HATE HIM I HATE HIM, HES A PSYCHOPATH WHO WAS FORCED INTO INSANITY AND MURDERED A SHIT TON OF PEOPLE I FUCKING DESPISE HIM HE HURT SASUKE SO MUCH AND RUINED HIS LIFE FOR NO FUCKING REASON SASUKE WAS JUST A TOOL FOR HIS SUICUDE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE GET HIM THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BOY AND ANYONE ELSE EVERY PUT HIM IN A FUCKING TSUKOYOMI FOR FUCKING EVER I HATE HIM SO GODDAM MUCH RRRGHSHSJSJHS

Im prepared to get burned at the stake I don't care i stand by this tierlist

[number1villainstan]

13 14 and 15 for the ask game?

13. character that you think is underappreciated by the fandom

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh jesus that's hard. It's RGU, it's a small fandom, SO many characters don't get the love they deserve cause there's simply not enough manpower--

But my (semi) serious answer is Saionji. Or Mikage. I like them both a lot, because they're both a lot like me--Mikage's a heavily neurodivergent-coded gifted-kid-to-burnt-out-adult pipeline victim like I am, and I see a lot of my own anger and frustration in Saionji. With Saionji in particular, I feel like a lot of people in the fandom kinda write him off as just a violent, misogynistic clown, which, to be fair, he is violent and misogynistic (for at least the first half of the show), but to write him off as a clown is to ignore the messages the show sends using and surrounding his character, about how toxic masculinity both is perpetuated by and hurts the 'average man' (<-badly expressed but moving on). But then again, this feeling could just be my biased ass going "HE IS SO ME" and being sad that no one likes him because [list of extremely valid reasons not to like him]. I tend to do that. A lot. In nearly every fandom I'm in.

14. character you wish had more screentime

WAKABA!!!!! ESPECIALLY IN THE SECOND HALF!!! because you KNOW saionji's rejection fucking wrecked her. and you KNOW she's got all of these Complicated Bad Emotions that she's suppressing in order to present herself as a Good Girl/a Good Friend. and like...I know her lack of screentime after her Black Rose duel was kind of on purpose, to drive home the idea that she has Failed To Be Special, but like--god. I know--I KNOW--that she's harboring some serious jealousy of Utena and Anthy. I KNOW that there are so many potential parallels to be drawn between the Wakaba/Utena canon relationship and the Saionji/Touga canon relationship, and between Wakaba and Saionji specifically, I go insane over those parallels (jealousy and low self worth and "you're my best friend and i hate you but i love you but i hate you" and desperately needing to be Special), and I just--I genuinely wish that Wakaba's character was explore more in canon. We got an incredibly enticing peek during the Black Rose arc, but we didn't plumb the depths, and the potential of Wakaba's character is just so *clenches fist*

15. character that you relate to the most

I already said it when answering number 13, but Saionji is the one I think about most (he's angry and too-blunt and confused and forever the laughingstock and he lashes out in ways that just make everything worse for him), and Mikage is one I also relate to a lot (that Shadow Girl play about the monkey-catching robot and loneliness hit HARD) as someone who's AuDHD and was an AP kid in high school and also utterly miserable and isolated in high school, not least because I was trained into Schoolwork Is Number One Priority and I didn't know I had ADHD at the time. (I definitely think Mikage has ADHD and self medicates with coffee and maybe also less-than-legal stimulants. He might also be autistic but he's definitely ADHD.)

the ask game this is referring to is here

[marzipanandminutiae]

Do you have a personal ranking of Carmilla adaptions? Was the opera any good?

Also do you find it charming or annoying when vampires who Aren't Carmilla At All are named Carmilla the way there are Draculas who Aren't Dracula At All?

I haven't seen that many, I'm afraid! I really need to get on that. Currently- and perhaps surprisingly -the Carmilla webseries is top of the list. Sure, it's not a faithful adaptation (or an adaptation at all, really), but it's definitely gay, there are definitely vampires, it inspired me to Fandom Activities as much as the original book did, and the ending and characterization don't make me want to scream. The bar is very very low at the moment.

The most faithful adaptation I've seen, unfortunately, is Hammer's "The V*mpire L*vers." I HATE this movie with a burning passion. Laura is a total nitwit (named Emma, for some reason, while Bertha Rhinefeldt is now "Laura?") as opposed to her High Int. Low Wis. book counterpart, she has a male love interest (?!), and the lead actresses' costumes are hot 1970s garbage. At one point Carmilla claims you have to go 100% commando under fashionable Regency-era gowns, and I almost threw my laptop the first time I watched that scene. But it does hew fairly closely to the plot of the novel, so I'll give it that.

It also gave rise to some great inside jokes with my friends, including "Karl, the only boyfriend in Styria!" and "in early 19th-century Austria, carpet munches YOU!"

As for vampires being called Carmilla who aren't, it only bothers me if they're straight. Because with Dracula, they usually leave his orientation alone- or, depending on your interpretive thoughts on the novel, lean more heavily on his attraction to women than men, but still it's seldom a complete change to something unsupported by the original text. Whereas Carmilla's whole cultural impact is being the seminal lesbian vampire, so when people take away the "lesbian" part...it definitely irritates me.

Otherwise it's just like. Yeah, okay, you only know one female vampire name from classic lit. I get it.

(Also why is there only one derivative work out there in which Carmilla is a brooding romantic antiheroine now, who gets the girl and lives at the end? Dracula has a ton of those, and he's not nearly as charming in his source material. Come on, people! Give the goth sapphists everything we want!)

[rustedleopard]

uty ship headcanons? Your character analysis are all really great and I like reading them so feel free to rant if you want.

I'm not really much of a shipper. Usually when I engage with a story I'm more interested in stuff like themes or characters or etcetera, so mashing two characters's faces together falls really low on my priority list (and for the rare few ships that I do have, I also tend to look at them from both a platonic and romantic angle because just focusing on the romantic aspects will start to bore me after a while). Not to say that shipping is a bad thing, it's just not my thing.

For Undertale Yellow, I don't really have any ships besides Staroba. I like that their dynamic has more of a sense of equality to it (as nice as they are to each other, both Starlo and Ceroba aren't afraid to call each other out on their shit), they're pretty funny together, and them being childhood friends to lovers is pretty cute. I only like/can see Staroba happening a few years after Clover passes though. Ceroba needs time to recover from her previous relationship and Starlo wouldn't push her into anything she's not comfortable with; he's respectful like that 👍. Plus, what ultimately turned Ceroba off from dating Starlo is that he was immature, and at the end of the True Pacifist story, Starlo is shown helping his family and starting to be more responsible. So I imagine that Ceroba would end up gradually falling for Starlo without her knowledge until she one day realizes and is like "Oh." Then cue a bunch of guilt because she feels like she's betraying Chujin by falling for Starlo and Starlo helping her gradually work through it. It's a slow burn 😅

(Any treatment of Staroba as a "Starlo gets the girl" type deal is an absolute turn-off for me. It's not about Starlo getting Ceroba like she's a prize to be won, it's about them growing into better people together and realizing that their feelings are mutual.)

.....And THIS is the part where I re-read the ask and realize that you probably want me to talk about my opinions on UTY ships overall. Hmmm. I'm putting the rest of this under a cut. Warning that this will be a bit headcanon heavy.

First of all, any sort of Clover × adult character ship (Martlet, Starlo, Ceroba, Dalv, Mooch, etc) or any minor × adult pairing is a strong NO from me. I don't care how you try to justify it, it's disgusting, I don't care for it, I don't want to see it. GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG! This isn't me being a hard-ass, this is me expressing a normal opinion to have. If the person reading this ships minor × adult ships, then Leave. Now. Likewise if you take any minor × minor ship and do NSFW stuff with them. Yes, even if you age them up.

With that being said, I also want to state that I don't hate any of the ships I talk about below, I just don't ship them myself. These are just opinions/my interpretations of them and if you have different ones from me, then that's totally fine. I'm just some rando on the internet, don't let what I say stop your roll. I'm... also gonna try to be brief with it since there are quite a few ships to cover.

(EDIT: I was not brief. Oh my god, I was not brief!!!)

Clover × Flowey: I can't see this as a lovey-dovey standard-fare relationship, especially if it takes place during canon. I don't care if Flowey calls Clover his best friend and lets them rest at the end of the True Pacifist story, I found that moment wildly OOC and did not like it! Flowey said he hated them in both the Neutral and No Mercy run endings, and Clover didn't really do anything to bond with Flowey in the True Pacifist ending, so I don't see why he'd suddenly change his mind. Plus, I tend to see Clover as having pretty good judgement of character and that they have some suspicions as to why Flowey is helping them so readily. But... Let's just throw that out the window for this scenario! If Clover had feelings for Flowey, he would absolutely abuse that to lead them around by the nose. Flowey already tries to isolate Clover from their friends and control them by saying that their friends are a bunch of bozos and to focus on the mission and that Clover is too good for them. And if he had their romantic affection as well? What's to stop him from using that to push Clover to go to Asgore and not get distracted? It'd take him a few resets to get used to having Clover look at him like (⁠灬'_'灬⁠), because Flowey has his own issues, but once he's got it down pat, he'd exploit it as much as he can to control Clover. He wouldn't return their feelings either, and would probably start cackling to himself about how much of an idiot Clover is the split second he dives underground. Honestly, I deeply pity Clover in this situation. In a post-Undertale canon scenario, I could see them trying to be friends with each other, but if you're like me and headcanon that they get revived with ALL of their reset memories, being friends is the absolute best case scenario.

Clover × Kanako: Feels like a "pair the spares" situation more than anything. We don't know much about Kanako besides she was kind and smart and brave and well-loved. Nothing about her likes, dislikes, opinions, preferences, etcetera. This may be a bit mean but to me, she was more of a representation of an innocent child lost to Ceroba and Chujin's whole deal than she was her own character. Plus if things go the route of "Ceroba (and Starlo and Martlet, but they don't matter here) adopts Clover and becomes their new family," things get iffy there because they're siblings. Adopted siblings, but siblings nonetheless. But, hey, most of my opinion on how well this ship turns out hinges on what happens to Clover's familial situation post-everything (should they get revived) and how someone characterizes Kanako since she's a fairly blank slate. Do something good with it and I'll go 👍. (psst, would be really cool if you made Kanako dislike humans in a sorta "learned from her dad and perpetuates his bad habits" way. would make her and clover's relationship, romantic or platonic, very interesting and would make her feel more real and grounded..... i know that her spoon-behaviors in the true lab contradict this but i'm just sayin')

Clover × Chara: Two fascinating characters, both who went the "sacrifice myself for the sake of Monsterkind" route, to wildly different degrees of success. From what I've seen, a lot of Clover's characterization in this dynamic seems pulled from the Undertale Red + Yellow mod which... I don't agree with their characterization there. They never struck me as especially chatty, they just say what needs to be said and leave it at that (if anyone here is gonna be verbose, it's gonna be Chara). I also don't see Clover as trying to be upbeat and positive all the time, like in the UT Pacifist Route. Have you seen them in the UTY No Mercy route? Clover can get very serious when they see fit. Hell, even in Pacifist, Clover strikes me as the sort to give the impression that they're serious almost all the time because they don't emote much and are terse (even though they're pretty damn hilarious in their head. A shame 😔). But I digress. The biggest difference between these two is their opinions on humanity. Chara hates humans enough that they try to force their brother to start attacking humans and Clover cares about humans enough that they jump into a mountain that children were known to go missing in to bring justice to the five kids. Yet both of them had shitty lives back home. More than wanting to see them hold hands, I wanna lock them in a room together and make them talk about humans. Either some crazy understanding would bloom or it'd just be two 12-year olds squabbling forever. Place your bets here on how it would turn out.

Axis × Daisy: Nothing needs to be said because I can't come up with anything to say. I wish Axis the best of luck with putting trackers in his children though! 🙏

Martlet × Red/Papyrus/Moray: Gonna throw these all into the same category because I can basically say the same thing about all of them: they're fine. I won't seek them out intentionally but if a story/fanart happens to feature it, I wouldn't be turned off from it. Canon just doesn't give me anything to really work with for these ships so I just go meh. I will say though that while I am usually not a firm "X character has Y sexuality" person, I do tend to see Martlet as a lesbian. So if I stumble across a Martlet × Papyrus fic or fanart or something, there's a bit of a mental hurdle to overcome with me going "Oh, this person thinks Martlet has a different sexuality from how I headcanon her."

Ceroba × Alphys: TOXIC YURI!!! Two characters who hate themselves for their actions who also project their insecurities and the parts they hate about themselves onto the other person. While Ceroba would likely be giving Alphys a lot of shit and would usually instigate things, don't forget that Alphys can snap back if pressed (remember the Queen Alphys ending?). Minecraft Achievement: How Did We Get Here?

Ceroba × Chujin: In an AU where Chujin didn't die, it would've ended in the messiest divorce. Their relationship was a powder keg ready to blow: lack of communication, blind admiration, secrets being kept, one party pulling more weight than the other to cover living expenses, and I could go on. The only reason why they stuck together so long was because they loved each other, and well. Romantic relationships can't last on love alone. There's gonna be moments where there's no room for romance in a relationship because life is happening, and the split second they would've hit one of those moments: *KABOOM!!!* Therapy and proper communication could've saved them, but they're both too prideful and secretive to ever explore those routes.

Starlo × Dalv: Admittedly Corn Yaoi is one of the funniest names for a ship out there. Gives me a "Country guys make do" vibe from name alone (if you're a minor, please don't look that up. Or if you do, because I know realistically that I can't stop you, don't hold me responsible for it!). But besides that, I don't really feel anything for it. They only interact once at the end of one route out of four possible ones, they were far apart from each other on screen, and their conversation was mostly a "Hello." "Hi." situation. There's no chemistry or anything from that brief interaction to make their relationship stick out to me. I see their relationship as cordial, two people united by their affection for the same person who have friendly feelings for each other but it doesn't go beyond that. Sorry ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

(Small aside: I'm not the sort to get into ships between characters who don't meet/interact much in canon (....which I'm sure you've gleaned if you've read up until now), but judging by Orion's dialogue in routes where Starlo is spared, where he talks about going to Snowdin to investigate his family's corn being grown there, I like the idea of him meeting Dalv and developing feelings for him and being embarrassing about it. Whether it works out or not doesn't matter. Being awkward in romance should run in the Sunnyside family, me thinks.)

Starlo × Ed: Scandalous! But I headcanon that Ed and Starlo had a brief gay thing going on between them sometime after Ceroba got engaged. Starlo couldn't truly commit to it because he still had feelings for Ceroba so they agreed to break it off since it wasn't fair to either of them. They're on good terms, but there are still moments where Ed goes soft for Starlo.

I don't know if there's any other ships out there that I forgot to cover. There's probably a million. Uhh, this was a very broad topic to approach and I didn't realize it until I started typing. Maybe if there's a ship/topic out there that you want me to cover, feel free to ask. Though, perhaps be a bit more specific next time 😅

[mechazushi]

Meet Mizu Ashiro. Also Known as Kaiju n. 24

(I am aware this is the BLURRIEST f*cking shot of my art, but I don't have access to technology where I can scan my art directly into my laptop that I work out of.)

See kids, this is what happens when a writer tried to branch out from their norm and try something they're not good at. You get shitty proportions, half the art is off the page, and your art style looks like a pre-middle schooler's attempt at a f*ckin' Mary Sue lookin' *ss OC. The worst part about this is I was also planning on drawing out her boyfriend as well, only to re-realize my drawing skills are sh*t and go back to waiting for izfaish to finish the Kn8 Pic crew that I'm assuming is still being worked on (which is FINE. That sh*t takes forever because you have to be meticulous with it due to compound layers and uploading it all. I'm sure it's a headache.)

I was even going to draw out a meme! Only having to sacrifice the space for it for the side profile. Doesn't matter. Back to having my artist skills hibernate until I can't take it anymore.

Anyway, onto the loooooorrrreeee!

So the universe where I picture this happening is the same one where I headcanon Mina being ace-sexual. (I don't apply this to ALL my Kn8 universe headcanons, just the ones that have Mizu in them.) Mina and Kafka reunite, all the Kn9 sh*t goes down, things settle out and something happens that makes Mina consider dating Kafka. She's not really sure it will work due to her sexuality, but Kafka manages to talk it out with her and he's fine with it. They date for a couple months, have one hot and heavy drunken night out, only for Kafka to die about a week later by stray rebar on a mission while saving people.

No, I don't hate the guy, he's actually my favorite. I don't know why I wanted him dead in this AU, it just happened. I am well aware that due to Kafka's Main Character Energy, this is something he should be surviving from, but I like the morbid irony that comes with him living through all those previous moments, only to die by something mundane as Random Debris. And, I mean, I didn't completely disrespect his death, he died doing what he loved which was saving people!

So Mina catches on pretty quickly that she's pregnant and voices the concern with Hoshina (Who I also see as ace-sexual in this world.) They talk it out a lot, both of them listing pros and cons of having this baby, and eventually Mina decides to check out a support group for Widowed Wives and talks it out some more with them. She comes to the conclusion that she's going to raise the thing, but will make a serious attempt NOT to raise it to think that there is pressure to be something great and that it needs to follow in it's father's footsteps due to said father being a hero. In fact, Mina hardly ever talks about Kafka. If she does, she only mentions that they were friends, some stories she remembered that he told her about his time in the monster sweepers, and very rarely, talks about the two of them working in the Defense Force. Never once mentions that he was a Kaiju due to not wanting to cause her daughter to think that she was also a monster and hate herself and also, to be honest, no one had any idea what was going to happen to the kid biologically in a few years.

Mina keeps the pregnancy on the down low for as long as possible until delivery. The entire Third Division shows up for the delivery and congratulates her on the new daughter. There, she reveals who the father is and makes everyone depressed for a moment. They all agree to help her out any way they can, with Hoshina personally stating that he'll act as the Main Father Figure in Mizu's life.

So Mizu gets community raised by the Third Division for a few years and it's great, now calling and considering all of the division to be her Aunts and Uncles. She grows up with an unspecified heart condition that makes her heart beat really weird and causes her to lose her breath a lot and is prone to fainting spells (this is due to her developing her own kaiju core). She goes to school and it kinda goes downhill for a moment due to the other students bullying her because she (unfortunately) developed her father's heavy weight stature. It's not all doom and gloom as she makes a friend in the school's Manga Drawing club.

{Cliche tragic backstory ahead, Final Warning}

Fast forward to late middle school (around 14 to 15) and her class is on a field trip to the local museum to check out the new exhibit that showcases the life and achievements of Kaiju Number Eight, Japan's Hero. Her friend called out sick that day, so now she's left to defend herself from the wolves, i.e her bullies. Cut to the front of the museum and an incident happens. Mizu gets tired of somebody's bullsh*t and yells at him to stop.... only to trigger her first Sonic Screech near point blank at someone's face. (Don't worry, the kid lived. She's not that powerful yet.) This however sets off the Kaiju alert system and her class runs to the nearest bunker. She gets kinda lost in the confusion for a moment, making her behind everyone else. Once she makes it to the bunker's entrance, the teacher of the class, who saw the whole thing, panics and closes the door in front of Mizu, leaving her there out in the open. Mizu is left standing there and cries in front of the Kaiju Number Eight statue as she hears choppers out in the distance. The Third Division shows up along with her mother and everyone is wondering why the hell Mizu isn't in the bunker and where the hell is the Kaiju? Through her tears, Mizu explains what happened and tries to apologize for it, only to be comforted by her mother and the rest of the division. They do however gain suspicions and MacGyver up a test. They slide on an arm of a defense force suit and have it connect up to a screen. When it reads back 0% aptitude, it confirms that Mizu is now a Kaiju like her father.

Having not told her about this because she thought she wouldn't have to, Mina decides to break it to her daughter gently that she's a Kaiju like her father by using the new exhibition. Mina, Mizu, and Hoshina get the whole museum to themselves since Mina commanded that her daughter's class stays in the bunker for a extra three hours. Ya know... for safety. There, the two of them break it to her gently about who her father was and what she might be now. Mizu doesn't take it well at first, but thanks to healthy communicating, she's not that angry about it afterwards.

This, however does bring up a problem with the higher ups. They say that Mizu can't be with regular students anymore due to being an untrained threat to the public. Mina somewhat agrees but wants to let Mizu keep as much of a normal childhood as she can before sh*t totally hits the fan that is her new life in a few years. The Higher Ups are trying to strong arm Mina into having her daughter register as an officer of the Defense Force so that they can keep an eye on her. Mina discusses it with Mizu and they come up with a plan. Mizu home-schools the rest of Middle School at the Division and goes on to Neutralization High School to finish out her degree. Mina gives her the speech about how she doesn't have to fill in her father's boots or think that she has to be someone important to the defense force because she's a Kaiju. Mina says that she can convince them to let Mizu out of service once she can demonstrate that she has control over her abilities.

Something happens (I haven't figured out what exactly) and Mizu decides to stay in the Defense Force. After a while, she's offered a special place on a new team. It's called (for the moment until I can come up with a good acronym for it) The International Division. Basically, Japan has decided to come up with an elite task force made out of other counties's misfits and gather them together for the explicit mission of taking out Kaiju invasions with unusual circumstances or unusual Daikaiju cases around the globe for countries that don't have the man power or are in desperate need of over-powered back-up.

On the team is:

A Swedish tactician/medic(in theory)/and mechanic that's anaphylactically allergic to Kaiju material (and because of this) is also severely hemophobic. (42% aptitude)

A blind, Turkish Bomb expert with a special weapon / visor that helps her see and who's Code name is Pile Driver. (67%)

A German Mech suit driver (Who may or may not be a paraplegic from the waist down, I'm not set on the idea just yet) who's suit looks like a mixture of the Berserk armor and the Day Armor from the Castlevania Anime on Netflix. He also wields a claymore. (87%)

And an Australian man, born from a Texan Mother and a Floridian Father, who mains a trench sweeper shot gun (Look it up, its concept is terrifying) that can transform into an anti-tank rifle. His problem is that he's unruly, bloodthirsty, and possibly borderline insane. (72% as a sniper) AND THIS MAN GETS TO BE MIZU'S BOYFRIEND!

(Don't worry, he chill and has a thing for cats. He's just got ADHD.)

So yeah... that's her story... here's a quick breakdown of her design because I know ya'll can't see that shit.

So I initially had a problem with coming up with her Kaiju design. Her whole thing is that she's the daughter of Kafka so her design should still look a little like Kn8 but with some more female connotations, right? How the f*ck does one do that? And it gets harder because all the kaijus in Kn8 either look completely alien or like a monster version of Unrealistic Peak Male Form. (I feel like there could be a really funny meta commentary about this, but I'm not going to get into that right now.)

Eventually, my brain came up with the thought of-

"What if we came up with some bullsh*t Kaiju science and said that because Bakko is a tiger AND a Kaiju, we say that there was some weird exposure/interference that changed some things for Mizu while in vitro."

So now I'm coming up with a tiger-like design for her (you probably can't tell, but to me the head looks more wolf-like than tiger but that's because my artist skills are sh*t) And for the most part, she just looked like an inverse-colored version of Bakko with a mane. At some point while drawing this out, I started to hate it because, like I said in a previous post, she just looked like a furry with a Kn8 style mask. Which led me to come up with some samurai like inspirations for her armor like what Kafka has on the lower half of his body. So yeah, now she has Shoulder Pauldrons, Upper Arm Bracers (I miscalculated her size so the lower half of her arms are off the page.), Rib/Thigh protection, and an armored snout.

She's mostly black with white stripes, most of the armor is dark gray with black borders, and all of the white areas glow Glacial Blue when she's powering up. And yes, the mane is white and glows as well. (She's my pretty little Magical Girl Kaiju ✨🫶✨)

I don't know if anyone can see this as well, but she also has these black little Horns? Attached to the outside of her ears. They don't really do anything, I just wanted to give the similar appearance of Kn8's horns without copying them directly.

As for Mizu Ashiro herself, I tried to split the difference and modeled her after both of her parents. She's got Mina's long hair and hair clips, but her father's spiky type of hair (Which is why it sticks straight out like that.) She's got her mother's eyes and ears, but her dad's eye shape and nose. It's also clear that she takes after her father in body type. (Gotta carry on the tradition of carrying them Tig Bitties in both Human and Kaiju👍)

She's a fairly bubbly and optimistic person, but definitely gets terrified very easily (especially around heights.) Thankfully, she works with a team that can talk her through it most of the time and is actively working on it.

She also grew up exhibiting a lot of Cat-like traits like making lap biscuits when nervous, murrping at someone when they catch her slightly off guard, and napping in the weirdest positions/places. Not even being in the defense force broke those habits out of her and her team likes to poke fun at them playfully when they happen.

[nativeofsumeru]

More Genshin Impact Fanfiction Ideas (Part 3)

A/N: If you know me, I've made two of these. These are ideas that I have, but that I don't feel like I have the skill or time to fully flesh out so here's a list of my thoughts and ideas.

Cyno x fem!reader -reader and Cyno are about 19-20 years of age and students at the akademiya, there is an established relationship -surprise, reader is pregnant, Cyno is worried -Cyno and reader navigate obstacles of preparing to become new parents -Cyno takes extra hard to his studies so that he can achieve success to support reader and coming child -reader faces other scholars looking down on her due to her being with child and still continuing her studies, Cyno gets low-key snubbed for getting a girl pregnant -extra ending: not long after baby is born, maybe a year or so later, Cyno beats the odds by taking and succeeding in his assessment to become General Mahamatra

Yelan x fem!reader (I wanted to make this one a whole separate post, but I'll just put it here) -inspired by the song "Supergirl", specifically the version by Anna Naklab -Yelan and reader are coworkers/friends, even with a small playful rivalry, Yelan can't help but look at her with sparkles in her eyes, Yelan has feelings for reader and a strong admiration for her and actually enjoys the back and forth banter, it's basically flirting as a fellow coworker points out -one day they get placed on a long travel involved mission together -throughout camping, traversing the wilderness of Liyue, and facing danger, reader and Yelan get closer and end up sharing a kiss one starry night that slowly begins to evolve, however reader gets scared, "This isn't right." "Oh, uh, alright." -it's a little bit awkward and reader goes out for a late night walk, in her daze she gets caught in a hilichurl camp, even though her fighting skills are exceptional, all of them together at once and the timing just overwhelms her, Yelan out of the blue comes to her aid and they slay the monsters together -afterwards, reader hugs Yelan and cries, Yelan reciprocates the hug -they discuss their feelings and reader's reasoning and story and Yelan listens and understands -they finish the mission and things seem to go back to how they were before however there seems to be more romantic tension between the two, everyone else notices it -a little bit of time passes and there's a formal work party, Yelan and reader get to talking and there's confessions and all that talk, they clink their glasses and leave the party together, headed back to Yelan's home for the night (whether it ends in NSFW or stays SFW is up to person) -"You wanna get out of here hun?" "Hell yea."

Dainsleif x reader -reader has a Cryo vision(more on this later) -reader and Dainsleif grew up together in Khaenri'ah since childhood, they were so close they even went to a formal school dance together at Dainsleif request because he was tired of people asking him out, there's unspoken feelings not wanting to ruin the friendship -they're friends even up to him becoming the Twilight Sword -then the Cataclysm happens as Dainsleif and reader are together, reader gets separated from him somehow -YEARS LATER -Reader wakes up feeling cold on the coasts of Mondstadt, a new cryo vision in hand, a new white streak in their hair, and some half melted chunks of ice surrounding them (reader's cryo vision protected them by freezing them in a block of ice, basically a Captain America preservation) -reader refamiliarizes themselves with the world and begins to share a new appreciation for the world, slowly losing hate about the Cataclysm -reader meets Traveler and Paimon, they meet Dainsleif via them -reader is unaware of the curse or Dainsleif's intentions -reader and Dainsleif now hold completely different views and feelings towards the world of Teyvat, will their love be rekindled once again even after this 500+ year gap?

Tighnari x reader -College AU! -reader and Tighnari were together since junior year of high school and are now in their freshman year of college at different schools -there's a a time zone gap, as in reader would be sleeping when it's still daytime for Tighnari -reader and Tighnari navigate this new change and keep trying to cultivate their relationship through this long distance Heizou x reader -Law and Order but there's Heizou and reader as detective partners trying to solve a large and dangerous case falling in love along the way

[kitkatt0430]

Thoughts on Passengers (2016)? I personally loved it. Chris Pratt is problematic though.

I think I'd have liked it better if Aurora hadn't forgiven Jim. I get why she did - she accepted that she was stuck with this guy and had to make the best of it. On some level she did a cost benefit analysis for what her future was going to look like and decided that it'd suck less if she let go of her rightful anger and resentment towards him and made the best of things.

Considering who she was at the start of the film was the sort of person who abandoned her life and her loved ones for a year of colony experience and a novel that wouldn't be written for over 400 years, I do see where Aurora ends the movie as character growth. She's learned to live her life as it is instead of abandoning what she has for what might be.

Jim, though... it's hard to see him sympathetically to be honest. There's a lot of things he could have done differently and should have done differently before resorting to waking up a fellow passenger for company. And it's hard not to view his decision to wake up Aurora as particularly creepy given that he basically forms something of a para-social relationship with her before deciding to wake her up in hopes that they'd form a real relationship. He very much fits the 'predatory nice guy' trope that, having encountered enough 'nice guys' who stopped being interested in being my friend when they realized that a romantic relationship 'upgrade' was never gonna be on the table... I find that kind of character hard to enjoy.

That said, I do think he genuinely came to like Aurora for herself and not for the idea of her he built up in his head before waking her. And the situation he was in at the start of movie was genuinely unfair to him so I can understand why he made a bad decision out of desperation from his isolation - there is a reason solitary confinement is legally considered a form of psychological torture. So I don't hate that she forgives him or anything like that. I'd have just found it more interesting personally if she hadn't forgiven him.

Honestly, I do think it's well acted. It fits well into both of the main actor's wheelhouses. They're both good with science fiction plots, they had better onscreen chemistry than I expected, and the overall plot falling out the way it did made a great deal of sense to me. Most of the plot holes I've seen people complain about are down to the same kind of human hubris that led to real world events like the sinking of the Titanic and programming/mechanical errors from a very real world tendency to push code and hardware into production before they've been fully tested.

I've only watched the movie once back when it first came out on dvd (I think I rented it? or someone rented it anyway, might have watched it with my mom for a girl's day) so I don't remember it super strongly and I did wind up refreshing my memory by looking up a plot recap. I do remember that I did overall enjoy it - I'd certainly watch it again (though it's low on the re-watch priority list). But I think that's in part because it pings my love of science fiction and my enjoyment of certain flavors of psychological horror (I'd have probably enjoyed it more if it played more deliberately into that particular interpretation of the story) than because I found it to be a good romance movie. In fairness, I'm aromantic and so a lot of romance tropes are unrelatable to me; if I'm going to enjoy those tropes then I need them to hit differently than a lot of professional romance writers (of books or film) write them.

I do remember it having trailers that pushed the 'both of them woke up accidentally' angle which made me super not interested in watching it in theaters. The actual plot line turned out to be a whole lot more interesting and enjoyable for having Aurora's waking not being an accident. And Jim's arguably not being accidental either, but a case of programming errors in the ship's AI. It's one I'd likely recommend if asked and would enjoy re-watching with a friend.

As for Chris Pratt (he who lives up to his last name), he's definitely played into why I haven't re-watched the movie since what was probably 2017 (pre-pandemic years melting together effect). I've kind of reached the point where when a new movie is announced that I'd usually want to watch, him being in it is almost guaranteed to immediately kill that interest (such as the Mario movie). Which has had the unfortunate knock on effect of making me less likely to rewatch movies I have previously watched and really do enjoy... but have him in it.

[the-rogue-mockingjay]

6 + 10 for the wol questions 🥺

ty gigi!! /dote 🩷

6. how does your wol feel about romance? are they a hopeless romantic, waiting for The One, or are they more casual? do they believe in soulmates?

O'ravi has some mixed feelings on it lol. In her youth she was something of a hopeless romantic, though it wasn't something she actively searched for (her priorities were more on traveling and learning every piece of music, art, and folklore she could get her hands on). She's always wanted a good, solid relationship, but she also hasn't considered it something attainable for most of her life tbh. She also just never really met anyone she had a connection with/felt attracted to (she's ace and autistic so it's a double whammy of not only are such feelings extremely rare, it's super difficult for her to identify what those feelings are when she has them ldkjfhdkjg).

Her feelings for Haurchefant had started shifting into the romantic in the time leading up to the Vault but she didn't recognize it until. Well. 🥲It was too late. She'd had a very fleeting like 3-day crush on Aymeric when she met him in ARR but after the initial 😳💕 he was just an ally/friend to her. She did eventually fall in love with Aymeric for real (in the days after the Royal Menagerie to be specific; it had been building for a while), and it tore her to shreds inside because she felt that even just being friends with him was putting his life in danger, by virtue of the death and chaos that follows her, Twelve FORBID she became romantically involved with him- in her mind, that'd be no different than going and personally shooting him dead fldgjkhfdkjgh. She didn't stop believing that until after the ENW finale, when she was finally, decisively free of her fate.

She wholeheartedly believes in soulmates, but not in the romantic sense, necessarily; her definition of it is someone who you will reunite with and love in every lifetime, regardless of the type of that love. The list of people that she considers soulmates includes Themis, Aymeric, Haurchefant, Hythlodaeus, and Emet-Selch. Zenos goes on that list too depending on the day, other days she hates him and finds him repulsive lfkjghfdjkgh. Regardless of how she feels, she fully expects to see him in every lifetime from here out, though. She has very mixed feelings about that.

10. how does your wol sleep? very light? very heavy? do they need a specific item to fall asleep, or does it take them forever? where do they prefer sleeping?

O'ravi's a very light sleeper, always has been, and she hates sleeping alone (her tribe doesn't do that, they typically prefer to share space or sleep in sort of cuddle piles if the temperature gets low enough where that's an option). When she first left home and began traveling Eorzea alone, it was a huge adjustment. She's also always been someone who dozes off for 5-10 minutes in the weirdest places (a la those pics of actors sleeping between takes in random nooks on movie sets), and now that she has fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue post-ENW, she's doing this more than ever. Catch her taking cat naps in the sun in between Dawntrail MSQ objectives 😂

After Operation Archon, she started getting nightmares on a regular basis, and this just continually got worse over time. I think she also struggles with insomnia, the intensity of which varies but was worst during Endwalker and Stormblood. Now, a year or two post-ENW, she still has these problems (and will for the rest of her life), but they're semi-manageable.

Her favorite place to sleep is cuddled up to Aymeric 🥹 she unofficially moved in with him a long time ago (sometime between Final Steps of Faith and Post-Dragonsong MSQ) and originally had her own room, but after ENW his room became her room too and it's probably the place she feels safest tbh

[pre-dt wol asks]

[best-fnaf-song-competition]

Did you see the movie? Thoughts?

-✨️

I DID AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO SAY ANYTHING HERE DIDNT I

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I'm gonna put my spoiler thoughts under a read more but for here: I had an absolutely FANTASTIC time! I went with a few friends who love fnaf as much as I do and we were losing our minds any time ANYTHING happened it was probably the most fun I've ever had going to see a movie!!! I went with incredibly low expectations so I was completely blown away by how much effort went into making it actually fun for the fans!!!! I brought my Foxy plushie to watch it with us so he could learn <3

Okay spoiler thoughts now c:

HOLY SHIT YALL THIS MOVIE FUCKED LIKE HELL I genuinely started crying during any scene where the animatronics were allowed to be silly!!! They're just kids!!!! They're just little kids and this movie showed that way more than the games ever have and it really showed how much the people who made this really understand how that would come across in a non-survival game format

My bestie and I had to stop ourselves from genuinely screaming when the cop introduced herself as Vanessa, we were NOT expecting them to go THAT RECENT when making a movie about the first game what the HELL!!!!!!! I was so excited, she's genuinely one of my favorite fnaf characters overall so it was really cool to see a different spin on her character c:

You may know one of my besties from a video essay about the mimic that fucking dunks on matpat for incessantly insisting the books are canon and using them to make theories about the games, and I got to help a lot with that actually! Which means we both hate matpat! Which meant we spent his entire scene losing our minds to the point where we didn't even hear him say his line!!! Still the funniest thing they could have done tbh

I was in love with this movie the entire time and all the little nods to things were REALLY REALLY COOL, I knew there was going to be a bunch of little stuff when fucking chicas magic rainbow from fnaf world was an ice cream logo. The midnight motorist shirt was something I was really excited to spot, and I didn't remember the dog enough to recognize him when the movie was playing but as soon as people on Tumblr brought it up again it all clicked and that is SO FUNNY, of all things to add in as an easter egg you chose that? Funniest move ever, really really loved the audience reaction video I watched where someone got to that scene and just yelled "SPARKY?????"

AND I WILL NOT LIE, I WAS 100% SINGING DURING THE CREDITS AS SOON AS THE FACT THAT THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING GOT THE SONG SET IN I guess it really does deserve to be so high on our list!!! I'd gotten so used to it over the years that it took hearing it in a new context to be reminded how much it slaps and now it's way higher on my list of favorites <3

I'm glad everyone hates balloon boy just as much as me, I started cheering every time foxy started humming, and the actor for afton KILLED IT every time he was on screen!!!! I had SUCH a good time!!!

[dreamedofyou]

OF Favourites Rankings (Halfway Point)

Got tagged by @thatgirl4815 and thought it'd be fun to do but as usual I'm a bit late, as this was supposed to be done before ep 7 aired. 😅 Ah well, I'm still going to rank the characters only up to the halfway point of the series (aka the end of ep 6) so bear in mind that this was my list before ep 7 (and it did slightly change since).

Ok, let's get into the rankings, from last to first place:

7. Boston

Said this before and I'll say it again: I enjoy having Boston on my screen because he always makes things interesting and entertaining. He's just a character I absolutely love to hate. As a person, though, he is just so rancid that he takes my last spot in the ranking and I base most of that on the way he treats his friends tbh. If this is the shit he does to people he's supposed to be close with and care about, then I dread to think how he treats those that mean absolutely nothing to him. The thing is I'm usually a huge fan of characters who do bad/toxic stuff (as you will see later on in my ranking) but they need to have reasons other than their ego for it and at the halfway point I don't see that in Boston. This might change by the end of the show, of course.

6. Cheum

I have two main reasons why she's so low on this list, the first of which being that she simply doesn't have enough screentime/storylines for me to form a strong attachment to her character, and the other being that she sometimes annoys me with her remarks. I enjoyed the conflict we got between her and April but it was so brief, I wish the female characters got the same treatment as the male ones instead of feeling like an afterthought. This is actually my one major criticism of the show but unfortunately it's a problem most BL shows suffer from.

5. Nick

I sympathise with Nick but at the same time I'm also like "you kind of brought this on yourself, my guy." The way he's either blinded by Boston's sweet-talk or just doesn't mind Boston's assholery frustrates me so much sometimes, which is why he's only nr. 5 for me. That and the fact that we don't know that much about him (yet) either. I need more to fully connect.

4. Top

I feel like this is an unpopular opinion but I think Top gets too much shit from the fandom. Yes, the reason he started pursuing Mew was shitty, but along the way he did genuinely develop feelings for Mew and imo him wanting to change and settle down is sincere. I'm a big believer in second chances if people are genuinely willing to change and better themselves, which I do think Top wants. Obviously, him sleeping with Boston (and lying to Mew) was shitty and it's one of the reasons why the nr. 4 spot is probably as high as he can go for me but I'm way more lenient there than most people because he was heavily manipulated into it by Boston and then regretted it and felt guilty about it. This isn't an excuse on my part, btw, I'm not absolving him of blame, but context makes a difference for me personally. I also think his character has the potential to grow a lot and I'm a hoe for character development (as you'll also see later).

3. Mew

Same as with Top, I feel like my opinion on Mew is somewhat unpopular, especially when it comes to his relationship with Ray. Basically, I don't think he's a bad friend at all and I believe he genuinely wants to help Ray but sometimes goes about it the wrong way (possibly due to previous experience). I think his heart is in the right place when it comes to most things and he's just like... a pretty normal dude, which I appreciate. That doesn't mean he has no flaws and can't be petty or nasty if he wants to be, however. I guess my one problem with him is I sometimes struggle to see why he fell so hard for Top specifically (what was so special about Top) because we weren't really given much of a reason. Unless it's just one of those situations where you fall for someone's looks/vibes and like that they're nice/sweet to you, and it isn't much deeper than that (because that happens to people, but Mew doesn't seem like the type to fall for those reasons). Basically, I like Mew much more when he isn't with/around Top.

2. Sand

I don't even have much to say here because I literally love everything about Sand, flaws and all. The only thing that slightly irritates me sometimes is the fact that he (unintentionally) self-sabotages by not wanting to talk about his feelings, probably because he wants to appear as if he's fine all the time even when he's clearly not. Sand is also the character I relate to most. Honestly, if it wasn't for my tendency to obsess over "broken" characters who do destructive things but are otherwise not bad people (and have a huge character development potential) then Sand would be my nr. 1. But, alas...

1. Ray

Ah, yes, we've arrived to the aforementioned "broken" character. This man has more issues than all the other characters combined and it's exactly what makes him my favourite character, oops. Unlike Boston's shitty behaviour, which is driven by ego, Ray's is driven by loneliness, abandonment issues, a lack of love, the list goes on. I genuinely think he's not a bad person, but he's self-destructive (which ends up endangering others as well) and obsessive/unable to let go (particularly when it comes to Mew), which is a recipe for disaster. He wants to be loved so badly but he wants it from the wrong person (Mew) in the wrong manner (romantic). As I said before, I'm a hoe for character development and Ray's potential on that front is off the charts. I want to see him deal with his numerous issues and grow from it as a person. What can I say, I'm just a sucker for those types of characters.

I want to conclude this by saying that there are two wolves inside me: one is a Sand Protector and the other is a Ray Apologist. They are at constant war with each other. Whichever one wins a battle at any given moment determines which of the two characters is currently my nr. 1 and which my nr. 2. That is all. 🙃

Since I'm late with this, I won't be tagging anyone but if you see this post and want to do your own ranking, feel free to consider yourself tagged.

I wonder if my list will change after the series finale.

[primeministerofantarctica]

so. turns out this was easier than i thought

ignore the two generic smurfs after smurfette they're just there bc the formatting sucks :/

also i couldn't find a finance smurf but he belongs in the "burn in smurf hell'' category <3

also i have time to kill so. list below the cut!

1. Clumsy - sweetheart. doesn't have a mean bone in their body. very autistic.

2. Lazy - i don't know how to explain lazy being an unintentional allegory for people with invisible disabilities that are considered a burden and. lazy under capitalism. but he has a big heart and cares about his friends even when they're less than considerate towards him (seriously, WHAT was the slumber party episode? were they like, intentionally trying to torture him?)

3. Jokey - "Oh, the folly of a clown, masking his loneliness with a joke!" <- person who definitely doesn't have any internal issues :). Also can we just appreciate the fact that he has ONE main prank and everybody still falls for it. (not to mention that the prank is. giving people bombs)

4. Timid - he BABY

5. Scaredy - he baby 2

6. Smurfette - specifically lost village smurfette cuz that was where she peaked. you go girl give us an identity crisis and journey of self-discovery only to find the answer was with you all along!

7. Greedy - comics/ 2021 specifically, because him and chef being distinct characters is funny as hell. he's so cute i would totally give him a muffin if he asked.

8. Harmony - he sucks so bad at what he's supposed to be best at! and i think that's so interesting and criminally underexplored! and every time he gets the other smurfs to like his music it ends badly :(.

9. Painter - dramatic ass bitch (affectionate). why was he the only french person in belgium.

10. Doctor - i assume that one's doctor at least. it is now. anyways he's funny as hell, like harmony he's also...bad at his passion. he doesn't have a reason to be a quack, he's just. Like That.

11. Reporter - I like his voice.

12. Poet - there is NO need to speak in couplets all the time, he's so extra.

13. Tailor - "*terrible Kip King impression* EVERYBODY STOP COMPLAINING OR I'LL SCREAM." He's really nice, he made Smurfette that dress in one episode even though he was busy, and he made Tracker a fur coat out of the scraps he gave him and Vanity a scarf with his face hand-embroidered on it just because? AND more importantly, he's very blunt. i like that :)

14. Hefty - no no you didn't see my love for strong muscular guys that are kind and caring and totally whipped for that one girl. ok he's not maws level but like. if you can put "she's so high" by tal bachman in a ship playlist then you've got a valid m/f ship

15. Grouchy - let him say hate again oh god please i will tear my ears out if i have to hear "me, I don't like x" again. fuckin WEAK. also the grammar i wanna curl up on the floor and cry.

16. Farmer - remember when all the smurfs only wore white pants so to distinguish farmer from the others he would just be randomly carrying a hoe for no reason. also his accent is SO silly in the new cartoon i love it.

17. Vanity - just...watch this.

18. Brainy - i'm sorry for putting him so low brainy fans can you ever forgive me /hj. with all fairness i do think he's an interesting character! he's just...interesting in a way that doesn't really appeal to me specifically.

19. Handy - i feel like he would build a doomsday device if he got bored one afternoon and honestly? i respect that.

20. Papa Smurf - sometimes he's a good father figure. sometimes he's a terrible "father figure". it depends on the medium. and the direction of the wind.

21. King (pretentious) Smurf - made a whole authoritarian regime in like. two days. what the hell man.

22. Finance - capitalist :/