#they're not even angry. just sad and gay

[freebagels]

Crowley and Aziraphale after their fight in the bookshop

[deconstructthesoup]

One thing I absolutely adore about Dead Boy Detectives is the immaculate costume design. Specifically, how it perfectly encapsulates who the characters are, both as a whole and who they are in the moment.

From the very first scene of the show, we know immediately that Edwin is a bookish, somewhat stuffy guy from the Edwardian era who attended a boarding school, and Charles is a punk from the 1980's who's most likely the wildcard between the two of them, just going off of the way that they're dressed. Both of them have distinct color schemes and different styles, but the general shape of their outfits is actually relatively similar---both of them have collared shirts (Edwin's dress shirt, Charles's polo), something over those shirts (Edwin's vest, Charles's suspenders), a jacket of some kind (Edwin's suit jacket, Charles's flannel thing), a longer overcoat (Edwin's traveling coat, Charles's peacoat), something around the neck (Edwin's bowtie, Charles's necklace), slacks, and nice shoes. They're distinct, yet matching, two clearly defined separate characters yet part of a set.

Edwin's prim, proper, buttoned-up personality lends itself to the way he dresses throughout the season---in the first episode, he only dresses down when he's in the office with Charles, aka his safe place and his safe person, and he doesn't really dress down like that again for a good long while after getting stuck in Port Townsend (though, if my memory serves me correctly, he does take off the suit jacket while watching TV with Niko). But in episode six, he's changed up his usual look for a cozier, casual-looking sweater and a little bit of collarbone, and in episode seven... well, he's in his nightclothes, and he's about as open, raw, and vulnerable as you can get. Edwin's color scheme is also predominately blue, which lines up nicely with his logical and practical, yet deeply sad and closed off personality, and the only time he really wears anything other than his normal blue-and-brown outfit (willingly, that is) is when he's in that green sweater in episode six. And, uh... all I can say is that it's quite telling how blue and green---or, well, teal---are the main colors of the gay/mlm flag.

Charles, by contrast, dresses down a lot, and that makes a lot of sense when you consider the fact that unlike Edwin, he feels comfortable pretty much anywhere. On any given episode, he goes from wearing his peacoat to just wearing his flannel to ditching the flannel to not even wearing the freaking polo---though, again, the latter is something that only happens when he's in the office with Edwin. Safe space, safe person. And, well, plenty of people have analyzed Charles's polo shirt going from red to burgundy to black over the course of the series, and there being a little bit of red under the collar of his coat that's only visible when Edwin fixes it, and then it goes back to burgundy, and then it's red again when Edwin's out of Hell... for good reason! It's color symbolism at its finest! Not to mention, the red and black not only perfectly contrasts Edwin's color scheme, but it also lines up with Charles's personality---he's a rebel, he's hotheaded, he's bold and brash and loud... and yes, he's angry, but he's also so, so loving.

When we first meet Crystal after she loses her memories, her outfit choices feel very deliberate. They're stylish and vaguely trendy, they're arty and a little bit witchy---pretty fitting for a psychic who's also a showbiz kid, even if she doesn't know that last part. But all of her clothes appear thrifted, or at the very least vintage, and the patterns and the general vibe all feel natural and comforting. Her makeup's always fairly simple, her hair's either down or up in a couple of cute space buns... overall, this Crystal looks like the kind of person who'd make you tea when you're in a bad mood, who'll listen when you just need to vent, and who may not always know the right thing to say but will understand what you're going through. But when we see her in the flashbacks, her clothing's flashy and prioritizes high-end trends over comfort, she's either got her hair up or has it straightened, and she not only has dramatic makeup, but acrylics. This is a girl who talks shit about you behind your back, who's bitter and cynical and wants everyone to feel the same way, who makes up for the lack of love and stability in her life via material things. It's also worth noting that Crystal's color scheme has a lot of purple, which is a color that connects to wealth and luxury, but also creativity and magic---which, yeah, fits her two conflicting sides pretty damn well.

You cannot talk about Niko Sasaki without talking about her outfits, and the meaning behind each of them has already been talked about at length. However, one thing that really stands out to me is that the reason they're so iconic isn't just because of the monochrome color schemes, but because they're out there. They're weird, they're eclectic, they're a little mismatched in style sometimes, and they're so unapologetically her. Niko wears heart-shaped sunglasses, unironically. Everything about the way she dresses speaks to how, even though she's a recovering shut-in who initially doesn't want to be perceived, she's still very sure of who she is.

Jenny's design, like Charles and Edwin's, is a design that gives you the key information you need the minute she first appears onscreen. The dark makeup, the silver jewelry, the leather apron, and the hairstyle all point to a person who's tough, doesn't take anyone's shit, and has long since given up on caring what other people think---in other words, she's a badass. But the butterfly tattoo hints at a softer side, a side that we see time and time again throughout the series as she shows that she cares about Crystal and Niko, and even the boys... eventually. Also, Jenny's design is perhaps one of the most clearly queer-coded in the series, to the point where her being a confirmed lesbian is pretty much a no-brainer.

Esther's design oozes camp, from top to bottom. The fluffy coat, the bustier, the boots and the cane and the everything, speak to a woman who's kept with the times and yet has seen it all. There's really not a lot I can fully say about her design, other than what Charles has already said: "She looks like a witch... like, kind of a sexy witch, who smokes a lot." (Or maybe I'm just tired and running out of steam at this point, idk, I love Esther's design and I can't really put it into words.) It's also pretty fitting that her color scheme has a lot of yellow in it---after all, she's always striving for more, so what better color for her than the color of gold?

Everything about the Night Nurse's design speaks to a woman who follows rules and discipline above all else, from the pantsuit to the pinned-up hairstyles to the tie to the heels. She's also the most muted out of the main cast in terms of color, dressing mostly in browns, dull greens, and duller browns---and while I don't have a lot to go into detail about there, I feel like that's kind of a symbol of her narrow-minded and bureaucratic worldview.

And the animal characters... Jesus Christ, I fully forget that they're all being played by human actors. Tragic Mick dresses like a man who's always spent his life by the sea, layered denim and all, and it's never a stretch to see this sad, bushy-bearded, baggy-clothed fisherman and imagine him as a walrus lounging on a beach. Monty, at first glance, seems to only wear black, which would be perfectly fitting for a crow, but when he's in better lighting, you see that he dresses in layers of red and blue, calling to how he envies Charles and Edwin and clearly longs for something more---and this might just be me, but I think that even though his outfits seem fairly normal at first glance, they feel kind of like a costume for Monty more than anything else, like he's trying to emulate a teenager that he's seen on TV more than someone in real life.

The Cat King fits this just as well, with all of his outfits aligning perfectly with whatever his cat form is at the time---when he's a fluffy ginger, it's always sequins and fur coats and clothing pieces that are specifically designed to take up space and call attention, and when he's a black shorthair, it's sleek styles and shiny leather and pieces that are designed to cut an intimidating yet more subtle figure. And while I could go into detail about all of those, what really stands out to me is how clearly queer everything is---more than Jenny's alt lesbian attire, more than Esther's campy coat and corset. From the very first scene he's in, he's wearing a skirt, and it looks natural. Nothing about the way the Cat King presents himself is exaggerated, nothing about the way he dresses is played for laughs---he's flamboyant and feminine and flirty, and he looks so fucking hot while he does it. It's gorgeous.

So... yeah, uh, all the awards for the Dead Boy Detectives costume designers!

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, "homophobia", mentions of death

Desc:

Smiley: dude

Smiley: i mean, babe

Smiley: nah, i'm gonna stick with dude

Smiley: it's gonna take a while for me to be romantic cause lwky this is weird but we like each other so that's cool but also

Smiley: i never thought i'd date a dude

Mitsuya: you're making it weird

Smiley: but like, i'm less gay than other gay people

Mitsuya: not really

Smiley: no, no, it makes sense

Smiley: you're pretty, and girls are pretty

Smiley: so

Mitsuya: i have a penis

Mitsuya: and i'm a very obvious male

Mitsuya: but if this is how you cope, then sure

Mitsuya: besides. this isn't like, a serious relationship. we're goofing around

Smiley: yeah exactly

Smiley: don't fall in love with me or anything 😁

Mitsuya: you make it very hard to do so, so don't worry about that 🙂

Smiley: ouch, but fair

Smiley: do you wanna, yk

Smiley: wink wink

Smiley: 👉👌 👀

Mitsuya: ...what does that mean?

Smiley: ...are you pretending you don't know

Mitsuya: ?

Mitsuya: oh

Mitsuya: sex?

Mitsuya: dude, just say that

Mitsuya: you also forget that i'm less experienced than you

Smiley: you've been gay for longer though

Mitsuya: i've never dated anyone, Nahoya😐

Smiley: oh shit

Smiley: first name basis

Smiley: we're moving really fast

Smiley: i have commitment issues

Mitsuya: this is kind of funny. why are you tweaking

Smiley: being gay is weird

Mitsuya: you're bi

Smiley: doesn't change anything. liking men is gay🤢

Smiley: ...

Smiley: send nudes

Mitsuya: lol

Mitsuya: no

Smiley: c'mon 😏

Mitsuya: please don't use that emoji

Smiley: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Mitsuya: dude

Smiley: ok fine

Smiley: come to my place tonight

Smiley: Angry's hanging out with Hakkai and the annoying ass duo

Smiley: they're both annoying duo's, actually

Mitsuya: there are a lot of annoying duo's here. but i assume you're talking about Mitchy and Chifuyu

Smiley: yeah yeah

Smiley: you coming?

Mitsuya: i'm a switch, by the way

Smiley: fuck that

Smiley: nothings going in my hole

Mitsuya: consider it

Smiley: no😐

Mitsuya: how is that fair

Smiley: i'm the man, of the relationship

Mitsuya: we're both men

Smiley: would you stop saying that

Smiley: ...am i being homophobic?

Mitsuya: yeah. i'm not surprised though

Mitsuya: i'll let you off for now. but i'm a switch, so i'll switch eventually 🥱

Mikey: so

Mikey: i'm not sure how you two haven't noticed that this is the groupchat

Mikey: but this is a heads up, cause things are getting 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

Baji: you fucking idiot

Baji: Mikey i'll kill you

Baji: why didn't you wait till Mitsuya sent the nudes 🤨??

Hakkai: if this isn't a prank i'm going to kill myself 🤣

Chifuyu: LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

Angry: i'm so sad

Angry: why did i have to find out like this

Angry: you said we'd tell each other everything, Smiley 😞

Draken: i thought sworn brothers share secrets but okay

Draken: this is the second time this has happened

Draken: never telling you anything about Emma again

Draken: i'm happy for you, but i'm pissed

Draken: also

Draken: Smiley? of all people

Draken: full offense

Angry: hey🙁

Angry: Smiley's great

Draken: that's a blatant lie

Draken: he's great to *you*

Angry: 😠

Mikey: so you guys are dating huh😋

Mikey: never would've expected the 2 of you, specifically

Mikey: this is so odd

Mikey: i can't even make fun of this. i'm just confused 😭

Baji: Mitsuya should sent the nudes. i need blackmail

Baji: send them

Mitsuya: are you stupid

Baji: we both know the answer to that question

Mikey: can you guys tell me how this came about

Draken: is Hakkai okay

Hakkai: no

Hakkai: just jokes🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hakkai: Taka-chan, i'm very happy for you 😍

Hakkai: i'm not heartbroken at all😭😭😭💔💔💔😭😭👌💔💔😭👌🫶

Hakkai: this is all okay

Mitsuya: are you okay? i'm confused

Draken: Hakkai's in love with you

Mikey: Ken-chin💀??

Mitsuya: yeah sure

Hakkai: DRAKEN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

Hakkai: that's simply not true😂

Hakkai: that's so absurd

Chifuyu: you are NOT helping your case

Draken: Mitsuya would be dumb, to NOT know

Baji: where's Smiley 💀

Baji: bullied so many people for being gay

Baji: whole times he's topping a twink

Mikey: could be bottoming

Mikey: Mitsuya's a switch, remember

Smiley: i didn't "bully" anyone 😁🖕

Smiley: i just didn't agree with your homosexual lifestyles

Smiley: and i happened to vocalize that 🙂‍↕️✊️

Smiley: freedom of speech

Draken: didn't you call Takemitchy the f slur

Smiley: no, but i should've

Baji: i call him that all the time

Baji: i can say it legally, though

Smiley: cause you are one

Angry: Smiley😠

Smiley: he is??

Baji: so are you

Smiley: what about it

Hakkai: i'll kill you with my bare hands

Hakkai: who said that, lol😂

Draken: you can't do that. we're texting

Draken: we saw the text

Mikey: please tell me how this happened

Mikey: i need to know in full detail

Smiley: i need to know your mom in full detail

Mikey: first of all, lame👎

Mikey: i guess being gay made you fall off in the humor department

Mikey: second of all

Mikey: my mother is DEAD. the only details she has are her skeleton. now answer my question

Draken: you really need to deal with that, dude

Mikey: no need

Mikey: WAIT

Mikey: is this when we dared you guys to kiss

Mikey: did a switch flip

Mikey: a connection

Mikey: a spark

Draken: man, poor Hakkai

Hakkai: what's your problem with me

Draken: i'm here to talk, man. this is rough

Smiley: you know what, so what if i fuck twinks

Mitsuya: we haven't had sex but okay

Mikey: please break up

Mikey: this is gonna fuck up the group dynamic 😭🙏

Draken: i agree

Angry: guys!

Hakkai: i also agree haha

Hakkai: i'm joking. as long as Taka-chan is happy

Hakkai: 😔🫶

Mitsuya: do we need to talk, Hakkai?

Hakkai: no

Smiley: you snooze you loose, Shiba😁

Hakkai: i see

Hakkai: do you realize i'm in your house

Hakkai: Angry and i are in his room

Smiley: i'm always up for a fight 😈

Mitsuya: no??

Mitsuya: what are you guys on about

Hakkai: Taka-chan, forgive me in advance

Angry: i'll cry 😥😓

Smiley: don't

Smiley: it's a friendly fight 😁

Mikey: is it okay if i come watch

Mikey: is that insensitive of me?

Mikey: idk why i asked, i'm gonna do it anyway 😇🤞

[picnokinesis]

Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)

So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.

But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.

So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!

So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.

So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:

Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.

They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?

And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.

I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?

We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."

Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.

[drspleenmeister]

*Holding my smut!logistics head despairingly in my angry little hands*

Ugh.

Okay.

Girls, guys, whomever: I've said it before and I'm going to say it again now, because I've read more logistically implausible fics in the last few days than I dare to count on my grumpy little claws. The writing may be smoking, but if you can't get the logistics of sex right then you are just going to make your readers go, "Eh, what?!"

You cannot deepthroat someone while breathing through your nose. You can't. Unless you have gills. If you're writing smut for fish then by all means continue to have your characters comfortably taking in oxygen whilst choking on a cock. Otherwise, stop it.

Throat-fucking is hot, HOTTT, but again. Breathing is not possible simultaneously. Please. This type of breath-play is sexy. Use it.

Have you ever tried to hollow your cheeks with a cock jammed down between your tonsils? No? That's right: you can't. Your characters are either using their tongue and cheeks or they are using their throat; I guarantee they can't do both at the same time. Also, having a man able to feel the outline of his cock through the cheek of his partner while they are going down on him: only possible if he is JABBING his fingers into his partner's cheek and forcing the flesh between their teeth, or fucking the head of their cock into their partner's cheek-flesh. Either way is really not going to be comfortable for the partner who is doing the work.

Having your characters stop kissing because they can't breathe is fucking stupid. Have you ever kissed a human? You have a NOSE (which in this instance is NOT being blocked by a cock). It is perfectly possible for two humans to mack on one another for hours at a time without having to come up for air. Drawn-out snogging is hot; have you ever kissed someone so much that lube/prep is not even needed? Trust me, it's awesome.

Limbs. LIMBS. Block your smut scene out in your head, for the love of God. I can't count the number of times that a writer has led me to believe that a pairing are facing one another on a bed, only to find in the next sentence that one is actually behind the other up against a wall; or they're laying down; or one is seated and the other standing.

Get your names and pronouns straight (heh heh...), with m/m or f/f fiction it's so easy as the reader to lose track of who is doing what if you're only referring to the characters as him/her. Don't be afraid to use names, it's better to be too clear than not clear enough.

If you don't have the first-hand experience yourself to write about certain sexual experiences then LOOK. IT. UP. I am neither male nor queer, yet I adore m/m explicit fic and I've done my goddamn research; it drives me up the wall when a writer puts their men into a position that does not warrant easy access to the prostate, but then go ahead and try to write the act as if it's as natural as breathing. My dude, if you're making me - a straight female - shake my head at the logistical inaccuracies of one hot man fucking another hot man, then just imagine the fits of hilarity that you're sending an actually gay man into, who attempts to read your work!

I would say I'm sorry for ranting, but I'm not. I've been reading fanfic for a very very long time and it makes my cold, dead heart so happy when writers get it right, and so sad when they get it wrong.

[thatnerdyqueer]

the sad thing is so many almost-cannonic qprs are literally just queerbaiting

then people will get angry if you dont ship them romantically because then you're "being homophobic". And it's not even their fault for wanting it to be gay so you can't get angry because they're just as starved for rep as you are and they just want a relationship that looks like them in the media, and the sad sad saddest thing is its. the. same. problem.

when will people recognise that?

I'm not being homophobic any more than you're being aphobic. Neither of us are the problem. It is the media's fault for not giving us rep. We should not have to fight. We are experiencing literally the same thing.

[traumatizedpomelo]

i, somebody who has only ever watched one (1) anime, attempts to guess what they're about

this is based almost entirely off of various edits I have accidentally come across online

bungou stray dogs

famous authors are turned into twinks?

bandage boy and redhead god have an enemies to lovers arc! they even have their own convenient partnership name!

apparently the tiger is the MC? unclear. the fandom seems to think that bandage boy is the MC.

is bandage boy bi or just in the closet? also unclear!

they're all twinks but small angry redhead god is the twinkiest of them all

mersault???

Tired Blond Dad

jujutsu kaisen

gay and sad

again, MC is unclear. is it pinkie pie or Gojo?

like half the problems would be solved if Gojo and Geto were allowed to just be in a romance novel instead of whatever this is

pink boy and spiky hair boy are just satosugu 2: electric boogaloo

Geto gets skinjacked?

CURSES

sukuna.........is basically Venom??

geto has a dragon, that's pretty sick actually

death note

main character (light?) is a strange feral gremlin

other (?) main character L has a Javert-esque obsession with catching light, I'm not even sure how he figured out all of these random deaths were apparently connected

the death spirit kinda looks like the cartoon Joker when you think about it

you write the name in the book, that person dies. do they all die in the same way, or...??

dungeon meshi

great british bakeoff but in fantasy land and with higher stakes

blond guy has puppy energy

if blond guy is a puppy, then blond girl is the one who holds the leash and keeps him from running straight into traffic

small?? man?? looks like a child, i'm not sure if he actually is a child??

somehow has the capacity to make unholy horrors look kinda appetizing

my hero academia

no

demon slayer

the one with the pig mask is actually gorgeous

the sister is a demon??

one guy has french fry hair and he likes the demon girl? unclear

are there any adults in this show? remains to be seen!

haikyuu

volleyball

tall angry one and small batshit feral one?

this kind of just seems like all for the game but with lower stakes

i had a friend who was really into this, he would beg me to play volleyball with him despite him a) being like half a foot taller than me, b) being way more athletic, and c) having little to no perception of the first two things, resulting in me getting smacked in the face with the full force of his serve on multiple occasions

Fun Orange Team vs Angsty Black and Red Team

spy x family

are they working for different organizations or the same ones? idk they're spies

the small pink child is seemingly aware of this

small pink child plays matchmaker for x amount of seasons

she really likes peanuts?

Big Dog

[hollowed-theory-hall]

thoughts on harmione as a romantic ship?

Hi 👋

As with all ship stuff, ship whatever, have fun, these are just my own very subjective opinions.

I assume you meant Harmony, as in Harry x Hermione and that's what I'm answering about here. And my subjective opinion is that I don't see it working. Like, I think Harry is gay, but let's say he's bi and explore this possibility.

The reason I'm saying I don't see it is because Harry and Hermione’s friendship feels less close to me than Ron & Harry or Ron & Hermione. Like, this is the pair with the weakest connection in the trio for me. Ron is Harry's best friend and Hermione's best friend, but Harry and Hermione aren't each other's best friends. I mean, there's a reason Harry had to save Ron from the lake and not Hermione in GoF.

Harry and Hermione don't really communicate in the same way and without the troll in first year and the "forged in fire" element of their friendship, Harry would probably dislike Hermione. Like, he does in first year, and I truly think without the troll to give them that push, Harry wouldn't have befriended Hermione.

To me, the part that shows it the most in the books is in book 7 when Ron leaves. In the movies they got cute scenes together, in the books, they're both depressed and barely talk to each other. Ron is the connecting tissue between Harry and Hermione and without him, their friendship is stilted and awkward.

Harry jumped down from his own bed, keeping his eyes averted from Ron’s. Hermione, who was already busy in the kitchen, did not wish Harry good morning, but turned her face away quickly as he went by

[...]

They were spending many evenings in near silence

(DH)

You see it in book 4 as well when Ron leaves for a bit, Harry and Hermione don't get along all that well without Ron in the middle:

“...I only know about them because I’ve been doing O.W.L. practice papers. . . .” “Hermione,” Harry said, through gritted teeth, “will you shut up for a bit, please? I’m trying to concentrate.”

[...]

“Hermione — I need you to help me.” “What d’you think I’ve been trying to do, Harry?” she whispered back, her eyes round with anxiety over the top of the quivering Flutterby Bush she was pruning

(GoF)

I mentioned above that Harry and Hermione don't communicate the same. Well, they don't.

Hermione loves very verbose conversations and arguments like she has with Ron. That's her fun when it comes to conversation. Harry, on the other hand, is more inclined to witty bitty remarks and fewer words. Harry often asks Hermione to shut up or he just tones out Ron and Hermione's banter.

They don't get along with each other's emotions. Like, Hermione forgets how angry Harry is, and when he does get angry at her or anyone, she doesn't know how to handle him at all and outright fears him a little:

“WHO HAD TO GET PAST DRAGONS AND SPHINXES AND EVERY OTHER FOUL THING LAST YEAR? WHO SAW HIM COME BACK? WHO HAD TO ESCAPE FROM HIM? ME!” Ron was standing there with his mouth half-open, clearly stunned and at a loss for anything to say, while Hermione looked on the verge of tears.

(OotP) - and there are more examples of this here.

Harry knows to recognize when Hermione is sad or upset, but he doesn't actually know what to do with it or how to comfort her and just wishes someone else would do it or that she won't mention it so he won't have to comfort her.

She threw herself into a chair, curled up, and started to cry. Harry felt dazed. He stooped, picked up the Horcrux, and placed it around his own neck. He dragged blankets off Ron’s bunk and threw them over Hermione

(DH)

“Oh, hello, Harry,” she said in a brittle voice. “I was just practicing.” “Yeah . . . they’re — er — really good. . . .” said Harry. He had no idea what to say to her. He was just wondering whether there was any chance that she had not noticed Ron, that she had merely left the room because the party was a little too rowdy, when she said, in an unnaturally high-pitched voice, “Ron seems to be enjoying the celebrations.” “Er . . . does he?” said Harry.

(HBP)

And if we go deeper into their personalities, they are antithetical to each other on the basis of their very worldview. Harry doesn't trust in authority. He believes in keeping things to himself and hates orders so much that he is naturally resistant to the imperius curse. Hermione, on the other hand, tends to trust authority more. She's a bootlicker. She likes it when teachers and people she believes have authority over her like her and praise her achievements. While Harry could do with more praise, he doesn't need it the same way because in his mind, just because someone is a teacher and supposedly above him in some hierarchy doesn't mean that they're better or deserving of the position.

(Hermione learns to be a bit more like this later on, but still, in book 7, she's always the one arguing they should listen to Dumbledore's wishes for them when Harry and Ron doubt. More on this here)

I just think that as a couple, they'd annoy each other much more than as friends. Like, it's telling that when they're living just the two of them in a tent for a while, they barely even talk, and when they do, they mostly just upset each other more, so they choose to spend the evenings in mostly silence.

Obviously, you could write anything to be compelling, and I have nothing against anyone who ships Harry nad Hermione togather, but this isn't a pairing I like personally or see happening.

[weralika]

i would also love to hear your thoughts about kandreil being codependent and toxic please and thank you 🙏

SORRY I MISSED YOUR ASK SOMEHOW!!!

so lemme begin 🙂🙂

the most dependent one is kevin, obviously, because of raven's partner system and everything. when he transferred to psu, Andrew (whether he wanted that or not) became his partner and Kevin would be so broken when Andrew starts to spend time with Neil more than not.

Andrew is angry about that!! because yes, he wanted to save that stupid boy, but he didn't know Kevin would never learn to be by himself, Andrew would never treat him with that kind of caress (I dare say) if he knew Kevin would become addicted.

so yes, Kevin is addicted

there we can imagine Kevin leaving PSU and crying in his bed with dirty sheets because he misses them so much he can't even do the chores properly (same bro)

Neil is the smartest one 🙂 he quickly realised that they have a strange kind of friendship and he knows that their tension is mutual (somehow??? he was oblivious with Andrew I know, but he just knows they like each other)

he still feels some awe when talking to Kevin because wdym KEVIN DAY is training ME??? is that a dream? wtf

so he would never cross the line!! because of Andrew he learnt the concept of consent and now he's afraid to make a mistake (he is 99% sure that Kevin wants to kiss him but that 1%)

their relationship starts when Kevin gets so jealous he almost tells them to stop flirting and fuck already (bc he knows they do fuck. he has ears, unfortunately)

he only tells them to be quiet bc he has a lot of homework and Neil strikes with "I'm not your homework, but you can do me" like maaaan wtf is that (Kevin blushes, Andrew asks if they want him to go away and then long conversation about kevin not being gay and not being in love with them)

almost instantly they become a wreck!! because Kevin needs so much attention that sometimes he tries to ignore their boundaries!! he is stupid and wants to kiss!! he feels guilty as fuck after being scolded he almost cries (sorry is it too ooc???)

he learns how to be not that demanding (imagine having 2 boyfriends and still it's not enough) and Neil tries to help him (he hugs him actually)

when they are apart, Kevin is sad as fuck but when together he is a little nervous most of the time, because he is too afraid to ruin everything (like he checks if Neil really wants to kiss him)

also this post became just my rant about Kevin but he's really terrified of being a third wheel and tries to give them time alone even if he's so hungry for their attention he has to grit his teeth after saying "I'm going for a run alone because I don't want to interrupt your crazy chemistry"

Andrew is afraid of losing them!! he thinks he's not enough for Neil and Kevin, he's not even so interested in exy and they have so much in common and he is just stupid traumatized boy who can't show affection when Kevin needs it, he's so useless that they don't even ask him about going pro anymore, they do not imagine their future together like andrew does.

they do.

Neil is just a stray kitten in a warm house who thinks he would not spend another night there :D so he tries to make the most out of their relationship! he kisses Kevin 70% times he wants to be kissed, and other 30% is Andrew or no one because they're not in the mood

it turned out not toxic or even codependent I'm sorry ☠️☠️ but I tried to describe my vision or them close (as I can) to canon, not some ugly shit I have in my brain about andrew being (a little) abusive or Neil being a fucking cheater which I am guilty of thinking about!

[margoshamangolord]

FOLKS I FINISHED BEAST WARS (thoughts and spoilers under cut)

1. The timeline is absolutely unique, i love how optimus and megatron aren't even optimus and megatron and how bw relates to g1

2. The graphics will never be an issue to me, it's more than enough for the time period and it's much more than watchable. I'm in love with the slimy cgi and didn't pay much attention to the quality. All i can see is designers and animators having fun

3. I think that the designs gradually got a little fucked up but it's okay

4. I really enjoyed Blackarachnia's character, she was so interesting for me! I'm not aware of the fandom's general opinion on her but she's my special girl now

5. There was like at least 5 times more on-screen gay kissing than straight kissing

6. If you didn't understand how insane i am about dinotrap from my previous posts then now i can say it's my #1 pairing,, i rarely have a fav ship when i watch something because of The Multishipper Curse that makes me think about too much characters together but for bw specifically i have a favourite. Usually I'm a little turned away from dynamics that are built on characters insulting each other but it's a special case, because they definitely share a bond and i can ramble for hours

7. Bw optimus is my 3rd place fav after tfp and tfa respectively (because they're a classic) (even though i know it's not even him) he's very much of a Some Guy who is Hungry And Needs a Nap and i like how he's just. a person. like a leader but he's just a guy come on. probably for the same reasons i love tfa op, i like seeing him get mean and angry and worried and yelling at his team and then understanding that he was wrong. my man

8. The predacons are so chaotic it's insane. The lack of a (main character i mean) Starscream is not noticed because there's not one con trying to take over, not two, not three, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the whole goddamn team has attempted it at least one time during the show.

9. And, with lack of Starscream, Megatron took all the cuntiness for himself. He stands out insanely among other continuities (again it's not him so). That voice? Thanks David Kaye!!! He's doing the whole dramatic hot villain thing that Tumblr loves, with blood baths and everything, and it deserves to be noticed. Megop is the classic tumblr dramatic villain x tired hero stuff you see in like 2016 writing prompts and everything. Megatron is insane here

10. I really enjoyed Dinobot. I cannot say this loud enough but he is my second fav after Rattrap because he's a really interesting and conflicted character. You see him as inherently evil? He does a beautiful gesture of kindness. You see him as good? He fails to disobey his nature. It goes on and on until his last eps. The betrayal? I was sobbing. That scene when he's on his knees with a sword? It fucked me up. The episode ending had me on the FLOOR.

11. I'm conflicted on dinobot 2 because on one hand, i do appreciate how it is shown how actually fucked up megatron and his schemes are. He's insane, and he's obsessed: he doesn't try to make any super soldier or whatever, but specifically wants to bring back dinobot and make him stay. And he fails, because it *is* dinobot deep inside, and that brings him down; his real sense of honor. He won't stay. His sacrifice was insane. But on the other hand, i actually didn't want Dinobot to be actually brought back. Sounds very nice but i think his actual death was really a point to his character that made me love him more. And when i saw Dinobot 2, i was kinda hoping that he would be an empty shell, an attempt, that it would be a plan Megatron put too much hope into, and that it's *not* dinobot, just a copy without a mind. Maybe im just weird sorey

12. Transmutate is gender

13. I love rhinox but it's sad that they didn't make him stand out as a character like the other maximals. He rarely got to be a main character, and even when he got to, he was just the butt of a joke and didn't get to build relationships and resolve personal problems like his teammates did. Or maybe i just wasn't looking at the screen when he did who knows. He's my big weird man

14. I enjoyed Tigatron and his conflict about the conflict so much

15. I'm actually sometimes a little disoriented/lost when watching something so i just straight up didn't notice half the character deaths??? I was just wondering where they went and then went oh.

16. who the Vok are the Vok. I wish they weren't Just Mysterious Aliens but more than that

17. Why did they keep making all of the characters so trans it's not funny im in tears

18. Beast wars was absolutely made for goddamn freaks im sorry. i loved it

19. I think everyone at the studio was gay for megatron. Why else did they animate the scene where he's in the bath wiggling his dinosaur toes

20. WASPINATOR FUCKING HAPPY AT LAST

[quillkiller]

ok so now i can't stop thinking about lesbian effiemonty... buckle up..

they meet at a pride parade in the 80s, mid aids crisis. monty is a butch and/or masc lesbian, a few years older than effie, maybe twenty five years old. effie is a desi femme lesbian, maybe twenty one years old. it's lust at first sight, and eventually it's love

they fall in love when it's still very difficult to be in love as lesbians. arguably still is, but you get it... they're both heavily involved in the british lesbian scene. they organize marches, volonteer at pride, volonteer at lesbian youth hotlines, heavily involved during the aids crisis, etc.

they're young, and being lesbians is their entire identity. fighting against their oppressors, truly the angry lesbian stereotype x100. they're young and have all the time in the world to rebel and fight the system. nothing else matters, them against the world type beat

it's such a passionate relationship, nothing exists outside of the two of them and their chosen family. on good days they even manage to forget the world outside of the lesbian bubble they've created. they even live in a lesbian/queer housing with like seven other roommates

this is the happiest point of their lives, and it all goes down-hill the older they get. the more the world changes. the more they let the outside world in

monty comes from a priveliged household, and even if her parents don't necessarily understand/or believe in 'the homosexual life-style' they never disown monty. they see it as montys rebellious phase, something she'll grow out of eventually. and the sad thing is... monty sort of does. she doesn't stop being a lesbian, but she sort of grows out of the lesbian culture/life-style

montys father offers her a job (at sleekeazy's ??) and monty takes it. she wants to provide for effie, and for her community. (<- sidenote, lesbians with successful jobs/good pay used to give a portion of it to their communities. and that's monty's intention at first, too.)

this eventually allows monty to buy her own house, and so monty and effie move out of the collective. they're very excited about it, to live together just the two of them. they have no intention to separate themselves from their lesbian community because of this.

but sadly, that's what happens. and they move to a bigger house, and they grow older, and then an even bigger house, and monty is busy at work, and effie eventually finds a job she likes, too. and she doesn't have as much time to volonteer. they start discussing marriage and children as they start assimilate themselves more and more with their heterosexual peers that have gradually increased as their lesbian circles have started to decrease. they hadn't even realised this was happening

like. there are no lesbian or homosexual role models at this point. there still, today, isn't really that many homosexual role models. gay rights is still new and most of us are making it up as we go. and monty and effie met in the 80s, during the aids crisis, and without almost any homosexual role models. what else is there to do than follow the only rules you know? you fall in love, get married and have children- especially now that gay people are finally allowed to have those things

so they fall into heterosexual roles. monty becomes the provider with a successful job and effie becomes the housewife type making dinner and cleaning the house. they have james, and they love him more than anything in the world while at the same time they start resenting each other for what they've become. even if they don't have the words to express it. even if they don't know what else they even could've been

they create the very picture of a happy family, assimilating with the nuclear family ideals. in their neighborhood monty becomes one of the guys, effie one of the girls. they're 'good' lesbians, constantly teaming up with their oppressors and getting their approval. they used to love being lesbians, but now the reminder makes them anxious. they stick out like sore thumbs in their neighborhood, will always be the 'lesbian neighbors' but atleast their peers will chuckle with them and say 'if only all homosexuals were normal like you two' as if this is a compliment. as if they're not saying 'you're not freaks like those other ones'. effie and monty feel constantly feel like traitors, like imposters.

so they both end up having affairs. they both find their way back to their roots, their beginnings, but not together. they're too far gone currently and they don't know how to talk to each other anymore if they're not talking about james. they don't trust each other anymore, not with themselves and their unhappiness. they've both grown into their anti-selves, and they both blame each other for this. so they have affairs, finding their way back to lesbianism and finding their way back to themselves. honestly, something they need to to separately in my opinion because they changed into who they became together. so they sort of need to go back on their own before facing each other.

and they DO face each other. they both come clean about their affairs eventually. they both come clean about their resentment. they both sit down together and just talk. when they're ready, they'll talk- and they find their way back to each other. they forgive each other and themselves. it takes a long time to find their way back to each other, but they do. they put in the work, because they love each other, and because they only ever wanted to be together. it's not their fault that they didn't know how to. and they acknowledge that. and to be perfectly honest, i think the people they had affairs with end up becoming lifelong friends of theirs. which is ALSO a sign of them finding their way back to lesbian circles/lesbian culture, which differs so drastically from heterosexual culture/life-style/views on monogamy and possessiveness

and monty quits her job, finds something else. they move to a different house, something that isn't as close to the heterosexual suburbs vibes. effie finds a job she likes. they slowly unlearn the heterosexual roles they fell into. they raise james and they love him. they reconnect with their lesbian friends and james gets a million aunts and uncles. they start volonteering together as often as they can. monty's parents are disappointed in her but she threatens that they wont get to see james if they don't drop it, so they do.

THEY COME BACK TOGETHER......... against all odds, they come back together… lesbians WIN

[redysetdare]

No you're so right I fucking hate the "aces have it so much better than aros" part of the community. Just because more people know the word asexual than aromantic doesn't mean aces are treated better than aros by the society?? More people know the word asexual yes, but they don't really understand what it means to be on the asexual spectrum, and they try to paint us in the worst light possible. That's like saying binary trans people have it much better than nonbinary people, or trans women have it much better than trans men due to more visibility. Some people in the aro community want there to be a hierarchy of non-aro aces > aroaces > non-ace aros so bad because they just want to be acephobic and get away with it. And they're barely even hiding that anymore nowadays.

Sorry for this angry rant, sometimes it just feels like everyone, even other aspec people absolutely despise aroaces.

I really need people to acknowledge that a group being more visible does not make them more accepted or better treated than a group that is invisible. You think we'd learn this after this argument has been used against so many identities but noooope. I guess not. The thing is that visibility can still be bad because being visible to your oppressors just makes you an easier target. the words homosexual, gay, and lesbian were all known way before asexual and you know what that visibility did? it mostly got them targeted and attacked - especially by laws and the medical field. Autism is a label that's been known for decades and people STILL treat Autism like a bad word and a terrible thing to be labeled.

People are just starting to figure out the word asexual and they are using that to actively target asexuals. The Ace discourse era around 2016 was AWFUL and it was because people learned the term asexual and decided we were just "Straight people trying to be special" or "incel freaks" or "Just sad virgins" It was considered cool and fun to mock and harass asexuals. it was common for people to create fake ace blogs to make us look bad. There are still dog whistles being posted around that mock and belittle asexuals that people treat as silly jokes. People still tell aces to shut up and not complain. People who harassed aces of tumblr act like their part in the ace discourse era was just a quirky little thing they did and not a genuine issue that they refuse to acknowledge and any ace who brings it up gets told to get the fuck over it.

It ignored the fact that asexuals have the highest stat in conversion therapy. it ignores the stat that corrective rape happens majority to asexuals. it ignored the fact that many asexuals end up getting broken up with or divorced for being asexual because so many people are unwilling to compromise in a relationship that isn't sexual. Many Aces feel forced to have sex with their partners because not doing so gets them labeled as abusive. Asexuality is still considered by most doctors to be a disorder that needs to be fixed and so it can be dangerous to bring it up lest your doctor actively try to focus on it as a main issue. Therapists assume your asexuality is a trauma response and may aces have to keep their asexuality under wraps lest their therapists start to focus only on that instead of their other issues. Yes, people know the term asexual. But that does not mean they Accept asexuals. some people use the knowledge of that term to target and attack asexuals.

No one has it better. we all just face different issues and to claim one group is some how more accepted than another is naive at best and outright malicious at worst and genuinely some of these people are getting way to close to repeating ace discourse era arguments and it's really getting to me because the call SHOULD NOT be coming from INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE.

[notmorbid]

hacks: season three.

dialogue prompts from the third season of hbo's hacks.

i'm so proud of you, you have no idea.

give me a hug.

you look the same.

it's just sad that you're so wrong about this.

crashing a party is big lambo energy.

you really think i could make it?

not everyone goes around announcing their sexual orientation.

i'm going to have another drink. do you want one, before you go?

i've been busy, too. that's not an excuse to just not respond. especially to objectively funny memes.

what are you, mr. miyagi? and i'm the karate kid?

i had to go to couple's therapy because my girlfriend was so sick of me talking about it.

did you even think about how that would make me feel? did you think about me at all?

you've got to scratch and claw, and it doesn't get better. it just gets harder.

just try to enjoy where you're at right now, because you'll miss it. and you can never go back.

what time were you born? i want to look up your birth chart to see what houses your planets are in.

tax loopholes are my love language.

do you not have anything better to do with your time?

it'd be so much easier if you just came here.

don't you need to get back to your actual job?

ask me. i'll say yes.

i'm sorry i just proposed.

is there anything i can do to convince you?

you've gotta set boundaries and keep things appropriate.

my childhood wasn't always stable or normal or even lucid.

in kindergarten i learned my abcs backward so i could recite them to a cop.

i know you don't like when i get all sappy and sentimental.

i can't just come out and say what i want.

have you been spying on me through my camera?

i'm depressed, and i don't want to talk to you, so i'm leaving.

you got in my head.

i'm mad at you. where are you going?

i wanted to be here with you. because you're in my head.

it makes you sound old when you say your parents are dead.

why don't you just come out and say why you want it?

i don't have the luxury of playing it safe.

i'm finally respected. respectable.

your superpower is that you're shameless.

i have writer's block. you have manic depression. why don't we go for a walk or something?

you have to concentrate on what's best for you. just buy a vibrator.

i had a husband. he's in hell.

you can't re-cork champagne.

i recently got into foraging. well, the idea of it. i haven't actually done it yet.

i don't put anything in my pockets. it ruins my lines.

it's perfectly natural for you to not be able to do all the things you used to.

the goal is to keep everything the same, because i feel the same.

you're one of the biggest climate criminals i know. your carbon footprint is huge.

i'm crippled now. i have more rights.

don't judge a book by its giant fake tits.

billionaires shouldn't exist. i used to have a pin on my jean jacket that said that.

philanthropy's just a fancy word for tax evasion.

i was fired after one shift for being too openly depressed.

you are gonna be shocked by how 'of the people' i am.

it was stupid of me to even think i had a chance.

i'm just gonna go live in the woods.

you talk about this stuff a lot?

i think you should come to my room.

you're a gay republican? how does that make sense?

oh, wow. a liberal kink-shamer.

i would happily let a socialist pee on me.

why don't you come over here and show me?

get it, you dirty diva.

i saw you doing the walk of shame this morning. high five.

trying to be a good person is hell, but at least you're trying.

thank you for inviting me after i texted you that i wanted to come.

we'll be cordial, i'll be a fabulous host, and that'll be that.

how did you get this way?

i've never been interested in being pregnant. of course, i have been, but ugh.

i put the jokes in comic sans so you know they're funny.

just because it's edible doesn't mean you can eat it.

you're ____. i like ____. and i'm a hugger.

you were always good at wrecking homes.

it's okay if i cry. i'm sad.

i'm just still so angry at you. i don't want to be, but i am.

frown lines are the hardest to treat.

that is the best twist i've ever heard. even better than an evil twin.

would you say jealousy plays a big role in your life?

i get it. don't shit where you eat ass.

have a fun, safe, and very queer weekend.

how old do you think i am?

nice mouthfeel, right?

i can't be 'woke'. i'm exhausted.

it's so easy for you to say what's right or wrong, but it's never that simple. one day you'll understand that.

you okay? i mean, i don't know you. this could be your personality.

sometimes left behind is good. cher wrote the 'believe' album at 55.

i think i'm just going to listen. i've said enough.

to be honest, i'm really afraid of saying the wrong thing.

i appreciate you telling me in person.

you make one mistake and you're crucified like jesus christ on the freaking cross.

why have i spent my entire life trying to make amends with someone so awful?

i can't keep going to the hardware store for milk. it's a therapy thing.

the universe works in mysterious ways. maybe our paths will cross again.

that was insane, random, rude, and weird.

big risk, big reward.

please don't leave. stay here with me.

sometimes the most innovative visionaries struggle with executive functioning.

i don't trust you. you're a fucking liar.

i don't want to be a shark or whatever the fuck.

stop crying. this is just the way it is.

i know you'll do the right thing.

i realized i belong here, no matter what.

[courtney-deserved-better]

real-total-drama-takes/760496226248638465/the-real-question-one-must-ask-themselves?source=share

Okay but I genuinely want to hear your answer to this question I found on the confessions blog (with all the F/F ships you ship from this show).

the real question one must ask themselves regarding every TD f/f ship is "which one would get randomly shot by a stray bullet in a gay-burying mainstream network show?"

buffy the vampire slayer is the only gay-burying mainstream network show i've watched but i'm gonna give this my best shot. put the ships in alphabetical order bc why not

betherra - could go either way tbh but im leaning toward beth simply bc sierra would go insane and try to destroy the world buffy the vampire slayer season 6 finale style

bridgney - it would either be bridgette for reasons mentioned above or courtney bc the show couldn't handle her sheer power and had to kill her off

courtnemma - again, emma bc courtney would destroy the world, or courtney to rip away whatever previous arc emma had of softening and opening herself up to love and to make her even more cold and jaded

dawnkota - dawn is 100% getting shot and dakota is in shambles but dawn comes back as a ghost with prophetic visions to further the plot. somehow she still never has a scene with dakota ever again

evzy - eva bc the network couldn't handle her butch lesbian swag

gwourtney - courtney bc the network would want you to sympathize with gwen over her. hardcore gwen fans would be like "my poor blorbo... so sad, all alone" and hardcore courtney fans would be like "SHUT UP MY FUCKING BLORBO DIED" and it would tear the gwourtney shippers apart

jasammy - sammy would so die. jasmine would grieve her for a while and eventually start dating shawn but it's done pretty well and they're a cute couple

jomaria - they would kill off jo and give anne maria a boyfriend the next season and it would suck

kadie - could go either way tbh

lesheather - leshawna bc every single season of td does her dirty. the backlash would be insane but some ppl would defend her getting shot bc it "gives heather a great arc" and the backlash to that would be even crazier. the show gets canceled halfway through the next season.

mkulia - mk bc julia has plot armor. julia would either go full villain or be devastated and all the other characters who hated her would start to feel bad for her and forgive her even though she doesn't deserve it and hasn't apologized, she's just grieving

nichaxel - nichelle so axel can go full angry paranoia doomsday prepper mode and everyone would use that as an excuse to bash her character

prillie - either priya gets killed to discourage millie from being vulnerable ever again or millie gets killed and priya tries to destroy the world but her friends talk her down and they all honor millie's memory together and it's actually really sweet

skyella - ella gets shot and says something like "but this was supposed to be our... happily ever after" and dies in sky's arms. next season dave tries to date sky while she's grieving and she attacks him for it. somehow they end up together in the finale. everyone hates it.

i hope that makes. any sense. if for some reason i missed a f/f ship you've heard me talk about before lmk and ill add it!

[evesaintyves]

I just love the way you write Tonks, she's so much bolshy and dirty and crass, she feels like a real auror and an actual badass that people wouldn't want to mees with! I liked Tonks in books but I admit I was a bit bored by her 'cutesy sweetheart' personality..

thank you so much, that's such a kind thing to say! ❤️ i'm gonna ramble about this a bit if you don't mind!

obviously i extrapolate a lot, but i think there are seeds of that bolshiness etc in canon. from her very first scene we see Tonks kind of talking shit about Harry's house (and her parents!) and giving her mentor, a pretty intimidating dude, guff in front of everyone. she stands up to Remus when he deadnames her (though i agree with the common fanon interpretation that they're flirting a bit in that exchange). she's introduced as a character who speaks her mind and doesn't take any shit*. all of that is on a mission and in front of a kid, so i imagine she's probably even a little more outspoken under other circumstances. it's also clear to me that she's got to be strong-willed, a little singleminded, incredibly talented, and probably a little arrogant to make it as an auror so young: she talks about how difficult it is to qualify and not many do. she's also canonically kind of reactionary and impulsive - i mean, that's how she dies.

some of my characterization of tonks is just personal - so much of her plotline is pretty sad, and her personality disappears entirely toward the end as she becomes a fulcrum for lupin's character arc. and her death, honestly, is kind of stupid. so i feel this urge to give her some justice and a little bit of a fuller personhood in the way i write her.

to me, tonks is (on top of being obviously interpretable as queer) clearly punk/alternative coded, withe the hair and the way she speaks to her elders and her sense of humor. i'm old and i was a tween/young teen in the mid/late nineties when tonks would have been around, and i remember how discovering riot grrl and queer punk bands of that era completely changed the way i thought about myself and the standards i was being held to and just the possibilities for what girls could do and how they could exist in the world and in their own bodies. being gross and crude, rejecting and subverting and playing with the power of the male gaze, talking openly about fucking and bleeding and being gay and being angry: it all seemed like a superpower to me.

tonks is clearly, from the start, in a state of experimentation with her own identity - the way she changes her hair from violet to pink in front of harry - and she's uniquely positioned as a metamorphmagus to create herself from scratch whenever she likes. it reminds me so much of being a kid and discovering that there were all of these new possibilities for who i could be, if i could be brave enough to try them. and we know that Tonks is brave 😉. so like, why not write a Tonks who is liberated, doesn't give a fuck, insists that the world make room for her? i think the contrast with people-pleaser overthinker self-hater lupin is really irresistible, too.

my vision of tonks is as a person i would have looked up to as a kid at that time, but who is still from her pov very much figuring her shit out and trying to construct a self that gives her peace and fulfillment. she dies in that state of flux - having also just undergone the enormous identity-changes of marriage and motherhood. she's fascinating! i insist on it!

so thank you again, such a sweet ask!

* i bet she put up with a ton of bullshit trying to be in a relationship with lupin tho smh girl u can do better!!! we all been there though

[batbux]

Bats usually keep an eye on large gatherings in Gotham, but in this case Bruce literally can't pay them enough to do their jobs.

---

In Gotham, large gatherings are always risky business. With half a dozen big name rogues with half a dozen screws loose, things can get out of hand FAST.

So yes, forgive Bruce if he likes having at least two bats or birds on the scene when people group together and make themselves easy targets.

His rag-tag group of children, adult or otherwise, usually agree with him. But in this case-

"I'm not going out of my way to help anti-gay protestors," Tim says before Bruce even let's himself think about which of his partners in anti crime he would like at his back. "I'm the one that green-lit the Wayne Enterprises gay agenda that they're protesting."

"That's... Fair."

And it was! Bruce was hardly going to force his bisexual son to save people that would tear him down if given half the chance. He'd demanded far too selflessness of Tim already.

It was just... No one else was volunteering either.

---

Dick, alerted by Tim about the group of anti-gay protestors planning their little event on Facebook, takes one look at Bruce approaching and shakes his head.

"I've heard what they said about my baby brother," he cautions before Bruce can say anything.

Tim, out and secure in his identity, doesn't care what any civilians have to say about him. Dick, deeply angry and protective, cares very much what slander people sling at his little brother.

Bruce, understanding that maybe his eldest was getting better about managing his anger, but deeply unwilling to test his resolve, nods and backs away.

---

Damian is his next choice, though he doesn't hold very high hopes for him either.

"Father, I will not be responsible for the safety of fools willingly endangering themselves," Damian says, reasonably and Bruce is glad to hear it. He has a whole speech about protecting civilians even if they act in defiance of their own safety. It's blown to pieces when Damian explains further. "I've already taken the liberty of inviting Jon and his paramour to heckle them."

"No metas in Gotham," Bruce says before his brain can catch up to his mouth. "This is already a tense situation and-"

"No metas in Gotham," Damian repeats, pitching his voice lower as he mocks his father. "What do you propose Duke is, Father?"

This is an argument he isn't willing to have. Not right now. He puts a pin in it and reaches out to Jon to politely request that he doesn't make an appearance at the protest. Jon concedes in exchange for his permission to come to Gotham's pride event next week. Bruce gives it under the stipulation that Jon and Jay let him give them a full primer on Gotham rogues and how to counter them.

---

Stephanie is somehow warned in advance and texts him before he can reach out to her.

"sorry not sorry, if doctors in Texas can choose to let people die then so can I. ask someone else to help w your homophobe problem"

Bruce wants to point out that is a gross simplification of the fraught political state of Texas. He also wants to point out that they are nowhere near Texas.

He wonders about the feasibility of sponsoring abortion access and trans healthcare in another state if only because it is GENUINELY funny when bigots with talk shows get into a tizzy over Brucie Wayne.

He lets the thought lie for the moment.

---

Duke hears him out, at least, before telling him that he's really sorry, B, but he's gonna be sick that day. It's all very sad, has he tried to talk to Jason?

---

Cass looks at him. He looks at her. They both know she won't be his backup.

---

He hates to say it, but Jason WAS his last choice in this situation. Not for lack of trust or faith in his abilities, but because-

"I'm asking Aunt Harley to have Poison Ivy start a pollen induced gay orgy," he says bluntly when Bruce asks if Jason would be busy on the day of the protest.

"At the-"

"At Wayne Enterprises, for the protest. Yes. Stay away if you value your heterosexuality, old man."

Bruce, remembering his college days and the types of things he's gotten up to in his own time, doesn't correct his son. Revealing that his father was intimately familiar with gay sex isn't a conversation Bruce ever wanted to have with Jason. Or anyone else.

Bruce, wisely, lets the police handle the protest.