#i feel like a lot of the plot has somehow been lost in the gay angst

[traumatizedpomelo]

i, somebody who has only ever watched one (1) anime, attempts to guess what they're about

this is based almost entirely off of various edits I have accidentally come across online

bungou stray dogs

famous authors are turned into twinks?

bandage boy and redhead god have an enemies to lovers arc! they even have their own convenient partnership name!

apparently the tiger is the MC? unclear. the fandom seems to think that bandage boy is the MC.

is bandage boy bi or just in the closet? also unclear!

they're all twinks but small angry redhead god is the twinkiest of them all

mersault???

Tired Blond Dad

jujutsu kaisen

gay and sad

again, MC is unclear. is it pinkie pie or Gojo?

like half the problems would be solved if Gojo and Geto were allowed to just be in a romance novel instead of whatever this is

pink boy and spiky hair boy are just satosugu 2: electric boogaloo

Geto gets skinjacked?

CURSES

sukuna.........is basically Venom??

geto has a dragon, that's pretty sick actually

death note

main character (light?) is a strange feral gremlin

other (?) main character L has a Javert-esque obsession with catching light, I'm not even sure how he figured out all of these random deaths were apparently connected

the death spirit kinda looks like the cartoon Joker when you think about it

you write the name in the book, that person dies. do they all die in the same way, or...??

dungeon meshi

great british bakeoff but in fantasy land and with higher stakes

blond guy has puppy energy

if blond guy is a puppy, then blond girl is the one who holds the leash and keeps him from running straight into traffic

small?? man?? looks like a child, i'm not sure if he actually is a child??

somehow has the capacity to make unholy horrors look kinda appetizing

my hero academia

no

demon slayer

the one with the pig mask is actually gorgeous

the sister is a demon??

one guy has french fry hair and he likes the demon girl? unclear

are there any adults in this show? remains to be seen!

haikyuu

volleyball

tall angry one and small batshit feral one?

this kind of just seems like all for the game but with lower stakes

i had a friend who was really into this, he would beg me to play volleyball with him despite him a) being like half a foot taller than me, b) being way more athletic, and c) having little to no perception of the first two things, resulting in me getting smacked in the face with the full force of his serve on multiple occasions

Fun Orange Team vs Angsty Black and Red Team

spy x family

are they working for different organizations or the same ones? idk they're spies

the small pink child is seemingly aware of this

small pink child plays matchmaker for x amount of seasons

she really likes peanuts?

Big Dog

[scarlet--wiccan]

Semi related to the "Mayomoff" thing, but I really dislike sometimes how cb twt tries to distance Billy from Wanda. I get it's a way to overcompensate because MCU stans usually have the misconception that Billy and Tommy were raised by Wanda, but the insistence feels icky. By the way these people write about these characters, it would make you believe that Wanda tried to steal baby Billy from Rebecca's arms (anti roma tropes are still super present even in "leftie" fandom spaces).

This has been a thing for years, and I've definitely noticed an uptick recently, from both sides, in response to Billy's imminent arrival in the M C U. I think a lot of comic fans, in particular, have a hard time accepting that characters can be more than one thing, or have more than one important storyline or relationship. Whether or not you find it interesting, Billy's relationship with Wanda is a major part of his story, and both characters care about each other a great deal. If you think you can have one without the other, you've lost the plot.

But if I'm being honest, I do think that racism is a part of the problem. People undervalue Wanda's relationship with her sons because they don't understand the significance and nuances of Romani heritage and identity. They undervalue how meaningful a story about family separation and reunion can be, because they have no investment in our history or generational trauma. I think a lot of folks are not willing to hold the space for those perspectives or learn from Roma voices. When we talk about representation and authenticity, a lot people think they need to understand the interiority of Romani culture, but I think these experiences and historical perspectives are much more important.

On top of that, a lot of people seem to think that acknowledging Wanda as Billy's mother or labeling him as a person of Roma heritage somehow erases other aspects of his identity. In some cases, this is well-intentioned-- Jewish identity can be just as nuanced and specific, and needs to be respected-- but a lot people clearly just feel threatened by the idea that he might not be white. And that's a real shame, because in my mind, Billy's Romani heritage only adds to the richness of the character. Mixed families with varied identities exist, and there several real-world experiences you can map Billy's identity onto without invalidating his Jewishness.

-----

Homophobia and gender anxiety are also important factors. I've been following this character for nearly two decades, and I find that Billy's depiction, and how fans respond to him, often reflect shifting attitudes about "positive" gay representation-- specifically, where femininity, diverse gender expression, and gay cultural semiotics fit into that narrative. [x] [x] The character has always been legible as a certain type of gay guy, and over the years, more writers and artists have taken license to explore that aspect of Billy's style and personality. All told, it's pretty subtle, and since most of those writers are gay/bi men, I usually find it quite authentic, but certain fans-- particularly the Young Avengers fanbase-- always respond negatively to any degree of femininity or androgyny.

Billy's proximity to Wanda-- as a legacy character based on a female hero, and as a man who identifies positively as a "witch," when that word is used with explicitly feminine connotations elsewhere in the Marvel canon-- evokes a lot of those same responses. Again, I think this is a perfectly authentic and frankly very common relationship for gay men to have with femininity. But characters like that are rarely represented as powerful, admirable, or desirable, and Billy is all of those things. To me, that is positive representation, and anyone who can't see that has an internalized bias they need to work on.

On the flip side-- homophobia and transphobia are on the rise in America, and I really think the pendulum has swung back around in terms of how comfortable people are expressing those views in public. I've been more plugged into the M C U fandom lately because of Agatha, and I've seen a lot of folks just saying mean, homophobic things about the actor and character. I don't want to defend Locke, because of the whitewashing, but that sort of hate okay is not okay.

[peppymintdreams]

Friday Announcements

Happy Friday, my children! Mama Peppy is here to dish out the latest news.

This week has been… a lot, yet somehow not much at the same time. I spent time focusing on specific characters, and somehow Simon made it into the mix—which was a fun but unexpected twist!

On a brighter note, I’ve hit 51 followers on Tumblr! That’s an amazing milestone, and I can’t thank all of you enough for your support. You make all this worth it!

As for updates, all the stories I had queued are now uploaded, which feels great—but also a bit stressful. Knowing I have nothing prepped ahead feels like starting from square one again. On the plus side, I have the freedom to upload whenever inspiration strikes, without worrying about scheduling random times. But honestly, I like having things planned in advance; it just feels more organized.

Because of this, I’ve decided to take a short break from Tumblr—just one to two weeks—to reset and get back into my usual routine. With my queue empty and my creative energy running low, I think this time off will help me recharge. Don’t worry, though! I deeply appreciate all the requests you’ve sent in, While I deeply appreciate the requests you send in (seriously, I’m so thankful for them), many of them tend to follow similar plots or formats to stories I’ve already written. I still enjoy creating them because I love you guys. That said, I’m considering closing requests for the time being to focus on fresh ideas.

Now, about my own series, Sakuverse Reimagined Twist of Fate—I can’t help but feel it’s lost a bit of its hype and popularity 😅. It’s stressful reminding myself, “Oh crap, I still need to get this done.” So, until further notice, SRTOF is delayed.

As I mentioned last week, Asirel is still a work in progress. Developing his character has been a lot, especially since he’s more complex than just “owns a vampire and is kinky.” Turns out, there’s deeper lore for him that I’m still learning and piecing together.

For those waiting on NSFW stories, don’t worry—they’ll be completed later. One particular request—a Luca story—caught me off guard since most of my children are Isaac fans. I’ve started it but hit a bit of a roadblock with the plot, so it’s still in progress.

I’ve also got several unfinished or scrapped story ideas that I hope to revisit and complete during my break.

What does potentially closing requests mean?

Starting after Sunday, I won’t be keeping up with new requests. If you have anything you’d like to send in, please do so before then!

Thank you all for your understanding, love, and continued support. Love you!

-Mama Peppy

P.S. Hey… hey, you! 🫵🏾 Do you want more Sakuverse gay shit? Hit that follow button and send in a request! You’ll get notifications whenever I post new fics for Sakuverse Reimagined Twist of Fate, and maybe even a chance to have your OC featured in a story.

[funny-friends]

gosh i have been big thinking about makima x kobeni since i finished p1 thank you for all this delicious food

You ever pondered how they would work in canon? like how would it best be incorporated into the series/what their dynamic would be post p1 if somehow makima lived despite her warcrimes? Regardless amazing art keep it up !

thank you!! i have a lot of thoughts about how it could work in canon and most of it is explored in my 40,000 word fan fiction that ive never posted anywhere

BUT i will share the short of it (putting it under a cut because long/spoilers)

like from what i gathered makima, at least to some extent, seems to equate 'equals' with 'person i cannot defeat in combat' and like her canonical downfall was ultimately due to underestimating denji because she just thought he was so beneath her that she didn't need to bother memorizing his smell and stuff right.

so with that in mind, i assume she also would see kobeni as kind of a weird bug that she doesn't really need to worry about. but imagine one day she just gets in her way Somehow and makima's like '🙄 guess i have to kill her but at least it'll be easy' so like she's gettin ready to blow kobeni's ass into smithereens but thanks to kobeni's shocking reflexes and plot armour she just can't kill her. like its like wile-e-coyote and the road runner like she tries droppin anvils on her and everything.

so ultimately because she underestimated kobeni she ends up getting her own ass kicked and she's just like 'damn i cun't believe i lost to this human' but shes also like '😳' so then its like... i dunno maybe her powers dont work on kobeni anymore and maybe once things smooth out a little she can finally have a human friend who kind of keeps her from going crazy and ALL this happens before everything goes Wrong so power and aki and all of everyone's favs (and himeno) can forever live in harmony because makima is too busy having the best gay sex of her life every day to be evil anymore.

...sorry that was a bit long i have a lot of thoughts abouyt them but thanks for reading if you made it this far.

as for how it'd work in a scenario where it was like... post pt.1 but makima survives instead, i think that's a bit harder to picture just because makima would be so far gone at that point i can't imagine kobeni would really want anything to do with her. it definitely could be interesting and i think it has a lot of angst potential but it's not something ive really put a lot of thought into yet 🤔 there could maybe be something to work with if you imagined kobeni feeling 'thankful' towards makima for giving her an excuse to cut ties with her family, but i dunno how i'd tackle that personally. too heavy

[total-feminism-takes]

Lesbian Courtney anon, oh I am sorry about Blaineley x Courtney ship. I didn't mean to say they get to together but more of sisterhood on set of movie plot then they get their own romances like Blanineley with her own oc or another character of her age. And Courtney maybe realizing romance is wonderful, you know what is better? Being herself and having friends/mentors that actually care about her,

I just get upset sometimes that we- some- or even me sometimes make Courtney suffer a lot for the plot or so called the one! For the name of romance but the truth is we forget her agency, her Courtney self from TDI to ALL-Stars, and I think is troubling for a little girl growing up watching that since I watched as a child.

Courtney deserves better with along the other characters.

I wish you all the best and well.

I love Courtney but I really wished she in canon or lesbian fandom Courtney been treated more better not so seen like villain without arc of growth or just disrespect so often for angst instead we shove Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Scott, and whoever to 'save her' or 'fix her and show who to care/love in general'. I like to think we or Courtney is old enough to just realize I don't need to be pity and saved. I need to grow, heal on my own as well as get comforted by someone who cares and loves me doesn't need to marry me somehow end of the day.

Courtney has a lot of range as a character but hitting Duncan and yelling like him is a no go because it not safe type of love or system to treat people, yet the writers did it as be joke. The joke which is a problem more in society standards of trauma bonding relationships or two teenagers clearly love each other but need more mental health and their parents to put more nurture into them. It shouldn't be funny but sadly this kids' cartoon were farts, throwing up, hitting, and other things are supposed to be silly haha hehe no brain thoughts but come on? Really making Courtney the villain and it states in the Duncan wiki that he is on the creators' favorites like Duncan get arc of grow and oh it's okay he can be loved but nor the crazy ex trope. I think and believe both Duncan and Courtney didn't deserve that as a couple as well as their own characters.

Heck Duncan even loved Courtney being like that with him until they chose to rewrite their characters once more just for the Duncan and Gwen situation to happen which didn't need to happen in my opinion. Because it could be better for plot if Alejandro and Tyler be rivals somehow like Tyler struggling warn the others aa well as help Heather with Alejandro trying use the girls in the plane. Then Alejandro someone blaming all on Tyler as Heather lost her other ally and somewhat male healthy friendship a long the way.

Then Courtney vs. Heather vs. Alejandro for the 3rd season, get my vision? Heather sure wants Alejandro but puts it side with Courtney who was used by Alejandro then they work together to defend him against winning!

Bam it's Heather vs. Courtney but Courtney feels hollow not really in the game in it anymore her relationship with Duncan is more stable or they couldn't save it depends on the fan I guess, her growing friendship with Gwen is rocky since she left and took Gwen out the game, and now she might win! She has that AH moment maybe money not that worth it if the game made her power hungry.

Anyway, that's my code of choice saying Courtney I love you and sorry for being a shitty write on your character at times, and all girls of total drama deserve why better that being connected to a man/boy to make them better.

Shout to lesbians and those who write lesbian Courtney I l0ve you too. But please be better to my girl Courtney... stop dragging Scott and Duncan into it?!

Maybe make Courtney barely out the closet lesbian and her gay roommates who are dating and happened to be her supportive ex boyfriends Scott/Duncan? They can be good friends over time not oh scary evil Exes!

If I make no sense I didn't sleep well and I lost my glasses if misspellings

I love you hehe

Fight me fandom who dare make Courtney out to be so unlovable and abusive too. We can say the same thing about Duncan guess what!

THEY WERE TEENS, UNDER SO MUCH STRESS, AND PROBABLY HEAD INJURINGS, ETC.

If you in a abusive relationship it's never you fault either and don't stay with them please no matter what, you don't need be the toxic couple like kids' cartoon made your favorite ship to be!

Hello hello Lesbian Courtney anon, this is mod emma and I will say I do understand but I wish your ask was more specific about it as Blaineley and Courtney making a movie together and falling in love apart as without any context or anything makes it sound more of a romantic thing. I do hope that in the near future it’s more clear. 😇

- 🧡

[nokingsonlyfooles]

This is a Poll! I Will Eventually Get to the Poll!

Conversational drift is a thing and if you got someone who's drift compatible, you hang onto that person for life.

So, the spouse and I were discussing how the word "subwoofer" is wasted on an audio device and it should instead refer to some kind of discreet toy that give deep bass vibes, perhaps via blue whale noises. That's not what I'm gonna ask you about, Tumblr, that is objectively true.

No. Somehow we decided Yassified Mrs. Tweedy from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget has real dom energy and her next conquest would be El Pollero himself, Gus Fring - if only he wasn't gay! El Pollero is Mrs. Tweedy's impossible dream! In fact, once he finds out about the chicken collars, he might try to seduce "what's-his-nuts, in the chicken suit" away from her. "Mr. Tweedy II," I ad-libbed, (It's Dr. Fry but I had to look it up.) "has it never occurred to you to to sell these happiness collars to people?" And then, in a goofier voice, "But they're chicken collars, they're to make chickens happy..."

And the spouse says, "I don't know how to make people happy!"

If I'd been drinking water I would've done a spittake. "WTF, are you adding emotional depth to this? Oh, my god. That's a fic!"

"It's a crack pairing. It'd only hold up for a thousand words or so..."

"No! Are you kidding me?"

"100k, slow burn romance?"

"YES!" A pause. "In the spirit of that game where you buy three items to freak out the cashier, the only fic I have on AO3 right now is the WTYP one. WTYP fights Gozer, a slow burn romance between Gus Fring and whats-his-nuts in the chicken suit, and what's the third one...??"

After some discussion, I admitted, "The one I really wanna do is Bartleby the Scrivener as a Seinfeld episode... And maybe in the B-plot Kramer does The Tell-Tale Heart."

"Wait, is Kramer the killer or the victim?"

"The killer? I dunno, we need him for the next episode..."

Anyway, we decided Kramer gets a Furby and he's taking it everywhere and Newman's real annoyed with it, but he needs to sneak into Kramer's room while he's sleeping and steal it without setting it off. A cursory internet search suggests that Furbies and Seinfeld did share a brief moment on this planet, so this would've been one of the last episodes, perhaps a lost finale. ...In which case I would be free to kill whoever I like!

But, okay. I'm done with my next six-pack and I'm not going to publish it until I can illustrate. My eyes are putting me on indefinite hiatus. But I can write! So, if I get real bored... And I'm not saying I will, 'cos I got a lot of eye exercises to do and ATM they get me real tired and useless. But IF I get real bored, and if this poll strays across your dash, and you decide to care, do you wanna see:

Option 1: A slow burn romance between Gus Fring, from Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad, and Dr. Fry from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget, guest starring Yassified Mrs. Tweedy. I can't promise you 100k but I will take it as seriously as I can.

Option 2: An episode of Seinfeld where Elaine details her investigation of her new coworker Bartleby, George tries to get out of work by saying "I prefer not to," and Kramer and Newman do The Tell-Tale Furby.

And if you feel moved, go ahead and steal. I think our takes would undoubtedly be unique, and it would be hilarious if someone clicked on a tag and found MORE THAN ONE.

[sunderwight]

loosely inspired by this excellent post.

human sex worker crowley s2 au where crowley has worked at mrs. sandwich's shop since before it was mrs. sandwich's shop (previously madam tracey's new age 'massage parlor'), having gotten into the biz back when he was in his 20's to help pay off some debts and never really gotten back out

it's not angsty, though. or at least not about the sex work part. crowley's been back to school and gotten a degree in engineering and he's picked up a handful of trades, worked other jobs here and there, he just generally doesn't like keeping to a strict schedule and enjoys the extra money on hand, so even when he's got another gig he usually keeps touch with the other workers and dips back in whenever the situation calls for it

the pandemic was harder than he let on though. between the drop in business and the rise in costs of living he lost his flat and has been living out of his car for a while (not that he's told anyone)

aziraphale has been his consistent client since he first started out and they were fresh-faced youths. crowley spotted a cute guy radiating gay vibes leaving a bookshop one evening and did a bit of (ordinary human) temptation, and the fussy young mr. fell tentatively ventured a couple steps out of his transparent closet and ended up buying the rogue dinner. paid for his time too, without even purchasing anything off crowley's own personal menu that night at all

(for clarity, aziraphale has known that crowley was a sex worker since they met but he has conflicted feelings about the purchasing of such 'wares' due to his strict religious upbringing and such, so it took a while before he bit the bullet. as it were)

anyway crowley is aziraphale's only paid-for companion and aziraphale is the only client who crowley has kept consistently for some 30 years (they've been off-and-on a few times, but never longer than a year), so they're definitely friends even though it can get awkward because actually they're in love because az is still in the closet to his distant-yet-scary family and church and crowley still sometimes gets organized crime contacts coming after him (it's a whole thing) plus he hasn't much of a mind to live in aziraphale's closet

matters come to a head when aziraphale's distant cousin gabriel flees the family and shows up at aziraphale's doorstep, naked and with amnesia and probably on drugs of some sort (so aziraphale assumes)

without having any idea of how to handle this situation, aziraphale calls crowley, because at least crowley knows how to tell if someone is at risk of dying from an overdose on weird amnesia shrooms and other useful things of that nature (and also because aziraphale doesn't know anyone else he'd call for an emergency of this magnitude and actually expect to get help from)

crowley recollects gabriel as aziraphale's asshole cousin who didn't help when the bookshop caught fire a few years ago, and even made a cruel joke to his buddies about how it was a shame that aziraphale hadn't gone up in flames along with his stupid books. so. crowley is not terribly sympathetic and thinks aziraphale should just drop him in a ditch somewhere

but aziraphale is determined to help, which means crowley gets roped in

crowley gets even more roped in when it then turns out that some of his old contacts are looking for gabriel too, for some reason (???) and are once again knocking on crowley's door (or at least turning up at his car) to insist that they know gabriel's probably hiding somewhere in the vicinity and if crowley finds him and turns him over, they'll finally let bygones be bygones and give him a big fat cash reward

an approximation of s2's plot ensues. I don't know how crowley and aziraphale get over-invested in the coffee/record shop lesbians without the miracle angle but it still happens somehow. they project a lot. amnesiac gabriel/jim is easy to hide only because they dress him like a nerd and muss up his hair so he doesn't look like any of his glossy cult headshot photos, and most of the people searching for him have never personally met him and aren't looking for an idiot in multilayered sweaters. muriel is from the cult but means no harm. turns out gabriel went on a really bad trip but his memory's starting to come back, he was trying drugs to impress crimelord beelzebub. who met him because of the above mentioned bookshop fire, and who still runs away with him at the end. aziraphale's manipulative family patriarch also turns up at the end to ruin everything. and aziraphale and crowley have a LOT of sex and feelings throughout.

does the divorce still happen? uncertain. on the one hand, aziraphale is still struggling with his baggage, but on the other hand, his family/cult is not quite so powerful or able to threaten him and crowley in this situation. love may win out.

[cartograffiti]

May '24 reading diary

This month, I finished 16 books, mostly quick cookbooks and graphic novels!

I started May by listening to a very unseasonal full-cast audiobook of E.T.A. Hoffmann's original The Nutcracker and the Mouse King. When I was a child, I read a lot of different text adaptations of the Tchaikovsky ballet adapted from this story, but only realized I'd never read the original when a friend got me to read Hoffmann's squarely horror story "The Sandman" a few years ago. This was creepier than the ballet story, though clearly written for children, and I'm very glad to have gotten around to it.

K.J. Charles, author of a large number of romances I'm a fan of, put out her first mystery A-plot novel, Death in the Spires. I think it's a good introduction to her style if you're not a big romance person, and I think it was the right call for this plot to prioritize the genre elements in this way, but I also have found her B-plot mysteries more exciting. No problem, I liked it a lot, and it has a lot of juicy thoughts about justice as distinct from the law and how trust is earned or lost. Gay disabled detective.

Two sports romances: You Should Be So Lucky, a sensational 1960s baseball player/magazine journalist relationship, meditating beautifully on the fear of failure and on grief. One of the mains was in a long-term relationship with someone who has died, and I think this is the best widowed romance character I've ever read. Sebastian is also just fabulous at taking a tour of a made-up person, full of small details and slice-of-life stakes. I've read all her books and will continue to; I like her particular approach to historicals and her ability to make queer happy endings distinct and individual. M/M.

The other sports romance I read this month is The Boxing Baroness by Minerva Spencer, which I only mildly enjoyed. Unfortunately I don't even have any real criticisms, I just very simply didn't click with Spencer's style on a sentences level, particularly in sex scenes. Your mileage will vary! There is a lot of really enjoyable bits about the hot honorable love interest thirsting over how strong and cool he thinks the heroine is, and he's right. This is definitely worth trying if the basic premise of woman boxer Regency is your thing. Wait, I do have one plot criticism--this would have been stronger without the epilogue. We didn't actually need to meet [historical figure redacted]. M/F.

Graphic novels--I used to read Chelsey Furedi's Rock and Riot when it was coming out as a webcomic, and I was excited when her follow-up, Project Nought, was suspended soon after launch because of a book deal. Unfortunately I somehow missed it when the book actually came out in 2017, and only when Heartstopper sent me on a nostalgia trip last month did I realize I could read it. I wish I had read Project Nought when it was new! A lot of the sci-fi plot no longer feels futuristic even 7 years on, although the core twist is just fabulous. There isn't enough of the interpersonal depth that shines in Rock and Riot, the villain plot resolution is a bit too easy for the YA market, and overall I just wouldn't pitch this as more than pleasant.

The rest of the graphic novels, far more than pleasant, I read volumes 8, 9, 10, and 11 of Witch Hat Atelier by Shirahama Kamome. This was a good batch to read close together, as they all deal with the events of the same festival. Unfortunately I have to wait for my library to buy the next to see the resolution, but that's how manga goes! I loved a lot of what's happening at this point, with some fabulous milestones in the Coco-Agott friendship, lots of good moments from my favorite of the adults (Olruggio), and continuing to push down on the question of forbidden magic. Shirahama brings in both strong cases of things that deserve to be banned (glasses that let you see through people's clothes, not treated as remotely funny) and things that...maybe don't. I really cannot tell what ethics resolution might be end-game, which is very exciting.

Cookbooks! My lovely mother surprised me with a copy of an 80s book I'd been looking for, Vineyard Seasons by Susan Branch. I wouldn't exactly call her style pastoral, but I've seen her rediscovered a bit by cottagecore, Ghibli-esque, and related aesthetic bloggers. If that kind of romantic daily life artwork appeals to you, you might like her books as much as I do; every page is full of Branch's watercolor paintings, sometimes ornamental borders and sometimes illustrations of the sights of her home in Martha's Vineyard. I read and re-read her books just to linger over the pictures, but almost every recipe I've tried has been a winner.

I also borrowed a whole bunch of cookbooks of literary-inspired recipes. I went through two by Alison Walsh (A Literary Tea Party and A Literary Holiday Cookbook), which were disappointing; they draw from a pretty small range of books, and rely a lot on food coloring to fit the themes. Meanwhile, The Mystery Writers of America Cookbook (ed. Kate White) has a really wide range of difficulty level and approach, only some of them inspired by fiction. Each recipe was contributed by a different author, making it fun in the same way that church and community cookbooks can be, but I don't have any wish to own this, either. I have two others still to look at. (And I already own some I do recommend, Kate Young's Little Library cookbooks and Tim Federle's literary cocktail books.)

More nonfiction: DK Publishing's really insubstantial small coffee table book Banned Books, which didn't have quite enough text (I shouldn't have finished any entries unsure on what grounds they were banned/challenged, and did), but some pretty vintage covers (and not enough of those either).

Really great, with loads of pictures and thorough text: The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag by Sasha Velour. I was first aware of gender-fluid queen Sasha Velour as an illustrator and zinester, and in many ways they're the reason I was first interested in drag performers. This book doubles as a history of drag and a personal memoir of Velour's experience with it, and I enjoyed both equally. The history is well-researched and thoughtful, and the memoir is generous and self-aware. And it has some of their comics!

And I'm still reading Dorothy Dunnett's Lymond Chronicles at about one per month. I finished Pawn in Frankincense in May--lush and devastating and funny and infuriating and completely absorbing. Still not a series I would recommend to everyone, and still one I'm so glad I'm reading at this exact moment, when my emotions can go through the juicer and not feel scarred afterwards.

[metaphysicpareidolic]

OPINION TIME because i need to know i'm not the only one who feels this way:

i'm gonna be perfectly honest and many of you might hate me for this but. i. did not like good omens season 2. so if you don't want to read, i'll just write my essay under the break dlsjfdh

OKAY.

i mean i understand why people like it, the two (mostly) male-presenting characters that everyone has been smashing together like barbie dolls for decades finally get a canon kiss, great. yeah, as a trans gay guy, i can't deny that i love seeing any kind of queer representation, especially from such a popular show, from such an influential author. but this? did not. feel good to watch. and it's not just because of the soul-destroying cliffhanger ending.

i lived and breathed good omens when the show first came out, it was one of the most intense hyperfixations of my life, i was completely obsessed with it and i recommended it to everyone i knew, both the show and the book. it's the entire reason i got tumblr in the first place and the first fandom i actually participated in. quite a good portion of my waking thoughts were consumed by the ineffable husbands and all the other characters. i was a young teenager at the time and this story shaped my view of the world for over a year, and i will always love it. but even then, i hoped to god (ha) that they wouldn't make a second season. but inevitably, they did.

i went into the first episode hoping i was wrong, and i finished it just feeling disappointed. i kept watching and got through the whole thing, hoping it would get better as the season went on, but it just got worse and worse. granted, i did enjoy the little historical throwbacks (i think the entire second season should have just been aziraphale and crowley through the centuries with michael and david improvising the whole thing like that one post) but the actual plot was bland, the characters had lost all their depth, and on top of that the budget was obviously cut by a lot so the rich visuals that were so captivating in the first season were gone, as well. that and issues with sound, which probably were more noticeable cause i was wearing headphones, but this is one of the most popular and profitable shows on a leading streaming service owned by one of the biggest fucking companies in the world. shouldn't they be putting money into it?

i'm not upset that beelzebub was recast. i'm upset that their entire character and personality was forgotten in favour of a romantic side plot, which exists, why? again?? to somehow emphasize a point already made by the other rushed romantic side plot?? that has barely anything to do with the actual story other than being accidentally dragged into it by aziraphale, whose entire character development from the first season has been entirely pushed aside because we need a third season, because we want more money! hehe they are kissing, gay people kissing ooh look, give us your money and attention so you can see them kiss consensually this time! i could continue but i will spare you the entirety of my spiel because i could write. PAGES. about how much this season hurt my soul not because Oh No They Broke Up but because i believed in this world and i believed in these characters and i don't like seeing them like this, wrung out and milked for cash and fanservice. everything that made the first season good is dampened by the knowledge that i now have to consider this fucking thing canon, that this is what the story turns into.

neil gaiman i love you but for the love of god get off of tumblr. he just wrote a fucking fanfiction of his and terry pratchett's work because he knew he would get money from it. and we are eating it up, because we love the story, we love the characters, and we love the author and we always want more. if you want more, draw fanart. write fanfiction. create your own version of a story. please, don't give your money to a company just because it's Officially Legit Canon when you could create a much better, more compelling, and more satisfying ending for yourself, for free. i lied earlier, i don't understand the appeal of this season. i don't understand why people like it. it feels fake. it feels wrong. it feels like an entirely different universe than the first season, and the book, and that wouldn't necessarily even be a bad thing if it was at least done with some level of concern for quality and consistency.

i know not everyone wants to be critical of their favourite show and would prefer to just enjoy it for what it is. i understand that, at least. i don't want to ruin anyone's fun. if you enjoyed this season, good. i'm glad you did and i love seeing all the fanart and fanfictions happening everywhere. i just really wanted to talk about this and maybe spark a little discussion if anyone's interested. anyways if you read all of this, thank you.

tl;dr: i hate capitalism, i hate streaming services

[nerdyish]

Book Review: Outlander - Diana Gabaldon

Published: 1991 Finished Reading: 29.12.2022 Star rating: ☆ ☆

Pffff…. Where to start. This is gunna be a long one.

This is my third attempt in about 7 years to read this book. This time round I finally managed to get through it all. And I’m so disappointed.

Trigger warnings: Rape…. A lot of it. Spoiler warnings: Loads. This is a rant.

Good Bits:

Other than the weird attempt at portraying a Scottish accent I thought the writing was entertaining, I enjoyed the pacing, it captured all the senses and did indeed transport me to another time. Between reading sessions, I found myself imagining a life in a rustic cottage in the Scottish Highlands, baking bread and gathering flowers, meeting a strong kilted man, wearing billowing gowns and wandering the countryside. Any book that can capture my imagination like that, making me see the world a bit softer and distracting me from the daily grind deserves some stars.

However…

Homophobia

In a really painful way. Not only was the main evil character gay in such a negative way, he used his homosexuality as a weapon… and also there was something about his brother… in some way? I think that’s what was happening. I don’t know, the editing/plot in the second half ended up getting me totally lost a few times.

The detail of Jamie’s eventual rape was a really intense difficult read, which was an issue in itself. But the fact that became so perverted and… insanely over the top… made it really unrealistic. I wanted to feel for Jamie when he was talking through it during his recovery, but it became a little bit laughable and awkward and just plain weird. The fact that the rape became more about Randall being gay, and less about him being a monster, felt so so so homophobic. And that was a recurring theme throughout the entire book and I hated it. It was such an awful and damaging perspective to take.

Gay people existed back then, that much was admitted in the book, but in Outlander it was in an evil terrorising way, not in the hidden, difficult, and judged way that it would have been. There was no sympathy for having to live a life like that? It just culminated in evil acts and terror?

This book could have been so much more. It could have actually explored the social differences between Claire’s time and Jamie’s time and talked about Claire’s shock of it? There was so much room to talk about how far things things has come since the 1700s. But the book never addressed any of it, at all. She was shocked by Jamie’s violence towards her for a total of about 5 minutes, then just moved on and accept society as it was.

Can I forgive this opinion because it was published in 1991? No.

Jamie

How can one man go through that much??? Like??? It ended up feeling so over the top and unrealistic. The man would be suffering from some severe PTSD after all the absolutely insane trauma he experienced. His entire personality was that he was a broken, young, strong, and might have been good in bed. A himbo. I need more than that in my romances, I need some complexity. Especially if we’re doing “rough”… there needs to be something morally grey about him. Not just written off as “oh things were different back then”.

It Got Weird In the Second Half

She suddenly found God in a really intense way?

She suddenly knew how to bring about really intense hallucinations using opium? Honestly that entire scene was so uncomfortable to read. I couldn’t really follow what was happening, was it a re-enactment? Somehow it involved her ‘other husband’ and Jamie was kind of making love to what he thought was his mother by the end?!

And why was there so much conversation about wombs and men wanting their mothers by the end? Where did that come from?!

She was absolved of sins – why are we even talking about sins anyway? That was not something she’d ever mentioned, she barely struggled with the decision for the previous 700 pages.

There was a really sexualised breastfeeding scene and a scene where they made love in front of a child and death by cows and a woman killing a wolf with her bare hands???

We were introduced to a new clan in the closing stages of the book? Why? And why were so many people in love with Jamie’s mum?

And is Randall actually dead? Is the reason why we didn’t get a Jamie/Claire/Randall stand off resulting in Randall’s death because he’s actually going to pop up again later? So he just got trampled by cows and is presumed dead so we’ll have a shock reveal and further confrontation later? Because if that’s the case, then I don’t care. I just don’t care.

Uninteresting Romance And Rape As Porn

What connects Claire and Jamie in anyway other than forced marriage, “good” sex, and constantly saving each other from villains? [I say good very lightly because I only actually personally enjoyed the very last sex scene … I’ve enjoyed way better smut by much worse writers.] All of their conversations seemed to be about his traumatic past, neither of them seemed to have a personality outside of that. Claire had more of a personality back when she was in the 1940s. They connect over him saving her, then her saving him through healing, and they have some sex, and then they talk about Jamie’s tortured past, and then that’s kind of it? They don’t talk about life or love or their interests outside of running from the law, it just didn’t feel real and I didn’t fall in love with Jamie at all.

I’m not going to talk too much about the marital rape, almost rape, actual rape, abuse etc, other reviewers have done it to death. I will just add that forced sex can be an interesting kink to explore in romance books, there can be good smut from it, but there has to still be a level of consent. Both from the MC, and from the reader’s perspective. You have to hear the MC want it to be that way, and enjoy it completely. That never happened. Maybe during the “punish you for running away” scene, there could have been a moment where Claire realised that this was actually kind of good, internally, so that the reader was aware that she started to enjoy it and wanted to explore that more? Or maybe when she was saying “no” out loud to Jamie in later scenes, we read internally that she was saying no, but didn’t actually mean no and was saying it because it felt kinda hot to do so? I don’t know, anything else really, just… not this.

The concept of forced sex in Outlander then bled into so many other facets of the book – the villains, the clan, the climax of the book etc – that at no point did it actually feel like a bit of a kink being explored through the female gaze, it simply felt like torture porn and I’m not actually down for that.

Frank Deserved Better

Honestly, while some people may love a sexy Scottish man who’s a bit of a brute and is broken from all his trauma, but very occasionally shows softness, and you may get your kicks from torture porn, I’d rather take the spontaneous but actually soft and kind Frank. Unless you’re all forgetting, he did randomly have sex with her in a field. That’s fun! And it was with… yes you guessed it… consent. He was tentative, and passionate about something other than sex, which in itself is sexy. And I do not doubt at all that if Claire asked for something a bit rougher in the bedroom on occasion, he would have done it, and enjoyed it himself. By making Randall look almost exactly like Frank, we end up not wanting to end up back with Frank. It’s character assassination in order to excuse the cheating that Claire did. And I hate character assassination to justify romance switches – i.e. Jacob/Edward, Tamlin/Rhysand. What’s funny about those examples though is that I actually love Twilight and ACOTAR, so Diana Gabaldon clearly messed something up here.

Claire

She is emotionless. She has next to no reaction to anything that happens to her, even some of the most traumatic moments. There is no internal monologue of any struggle or upset or confusion or hatred or fear, like, at all. Everything she does is so clinical and for the plot, it didn’t even ever feel like we got to understand her deep emotional connection with Jamie, she just decided she loved him and told us so, that was it.

Her decisions and actions also made no sense. She was an academic, with a background in nursing and horticulture, and thoroughly enjoyed her tour of Loch Ness. She was brought up by a travelling archaeologist surrounded by books and artifacts, and met Frank through those adventures. So… why did she hate listening to Frank talk about genealogy and Scottish folklore so much?!?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?! She screamed something crazy when she saw the chicken’s (??) blood at the beginning and was so so scared that a murder had taken place, but never once got spooked when out and about with a scottish clan in the 1740s?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?! She’d just been through a very traumatic war as a nurse, and then willingly stayed to go through another one? Why? Because Jamie was kind and made her see the world differently?! Can’t be! Because that never happened. I DON’T GET IT?!

The “choice” moment that was built up for so long was not made clear, why did she actually choose Jamie?????? Like???? It was never made clear???? Was it just because she loved him so much more than Frank? And didn’t care at all for her previously life anymore? And wanted to be in the Highlands in the 1700s because it was a better life for her?!? Like??? What was the thing that actually made her stay??? It was never, ever, ever made clear, emotionally, why Claire wanted to be with Jamie or stay, never.

I just don’t get any of it. I loved the Scottish historical vibes, the fairies and folklore and mysterious henge, I enjoyed the Loch Ness monster being real, and the concept of elderly women in post-war Scotland still doing pagan rituals, and never really knowing whether Geilie was actually a witch, but I can get that from other books where the MC’s decisions make sense and where their entire plot isn’t based on how much torture their main characters can go through. And even if it is, is done with actual consequences and urgency and discussion. I do not understand why this book was so popular.

[sixofravens-reads]

Finished The Lost Future of Pepperharrow!

(spoilers ahead!)

This was a...good book? I guess? I feel like I should've reread The Watchmaker of Filigree Street first, but also don't because not much from that book seemed to carry over to this one.

I liked the plot, though it didn't make sense to me for a while, at least there was enough happening to keep me engaged. The setting was cool, I've read a lot of books set in Japan this year and I really enjoyed it, especially seeing more of the forest and Mount Fuji. Also Six is wonderful! Love a weird child, especially one that doesn't play to the Creepy Child stereotype and is just....normal little-girl weird. Also Thaniel and Mori's parenting skills are excellent and hilarious.

I did hate that Takiko got fridged. Like, there's no way around it. She died to further Mori's plot, and because Thaniel somehow fucked up by switching to the dark timeline with a decision he didn't know was important. I feel like there's a way this could've been written so she didn't die, but I also kinda feel like the author wanted her out of the way so this pesky wife wouldn't interfere with Mori's gay English affair. Though she's also just a marriage of convenience, and he abandoned her for 10 years so was she really interfering? The book acts like Mori coming back to Japan means he now has to Fulfill Husbandly Duties or something, which he really doesn't. (This drives me nuts bc it's like every SPN fanfic that bends over backwards to get rid of Dean's love interest in a ~cool feminist way~. No, she didn't die because she was in the way! She died.....to uh....create enough of a disturbance in this timeline that Mori comes back!! Nevermind that she could've just thought about it really hard and he would've reacted as if it happened! It makes me so mad because after a decade Takiko finally has the freedom to do whatever she wants without guilt and anger and fear hanging over her and she just! Dies!! Why!!!)

Also, it's hard to explain but since I've read a lot of books set in Japan recently, by comparison it really feels like the author came at this from a hard British perspective? Like, I know Thaniel is a Brit and thinks everything is strange and new when he arrives there, but even when she's narrating from Takiko or Kuroda's perspectives it still doesn't feel totally...natural? It's like she set the story in Japan, but wanted it to still be Britain, and has to strongly point out whenever something is Not British, if that makes any sense? I'm honestly not sure what would help with this, maybe it's just her writing style annoying me. There's just a subtle difference between her writing and say, Sifton Tracey Anipare's in Yume.

Also, I wish we'd gotten Grace's perspective again. I know she was a kind of a cunt and a bit homophobic in the last book, but she was deeply interesting and I would've liked to hear more about the experiments. Also, I find it mildly weird that she and Thaniel left off on a sour note, and yet she seems terribly excited to see him, beyond like, normal relief about maybe getting busted out of her lab-prison, so hearing her perspective on the whole thing would've been nice.

Anyway, this book was a 3-3.5/5 for me I think. I might reread it someday but...idk. Pulley is not a bad author but I don't think she's ever going to write a book that will totally wow me, and I think she tends to set up interesting plot points, but then sacrifices good plot and sensible character choices to keep her OTPs together without much fuss. At the end of this, she really wanted Thaniel and Mori to go back to England as if nothing ever happened except the electron microscope being invented (which...is actually kinda pointless unless penicillin was ALSO discovered at this time, did Mori put mouldy bread in some petri dishes too?) and it doesn't really feel like a truly satisfying ending.

[your-royal-highness-of-trash]

OUGHH sorry bro didn’t see this until after my six hour shift XD Awesome thing to come home to though!!!!

Because of how niche the ship is it’s like there’s a lot more complexity and layers to fandom interactions within it, whereas beloved ships like ghost + soap tend to fall victim to very common characterization.

Because of the fact it’s a rarepair, people aren’t pressured to stick to fanon, as opposed to inferring from canon!! Also due to how vague Farah’s trauma / origin is (Origin as in home country. Because like. How can we represent a gal’s accurately when she’s from a fictional country based on the effects of an entire war?) writers have a lot of wiggle room to experiment with narratives and canon!

Okay that was just me musing heheh

List of favorite things about faralex in no particular order

Accidentally subverting the original themes and messages depending on the perspective of the viewer: Viewing it as intended, Farah’s forces (while shown to be competent) need an extra edge from a stereotypical White Man who has done war crimes, and is better at it than a country seemingly born into war(? Again, fictional country, so?). The average cod fandom viewer instead focuses on how Alex repeatedly allows himself to be educated on Farah’s situation. The cod writers basically accidentally tricked themselves into writing an anti-CIA plot, and implied an extremely compelling interracial / intercultural relationship, and I LOVE that.

It’s so very. Straight but gay?? Does that make sense? They break stereotypes and have compelling personalities beyond romance, which is uncommon in your average straight romance. They’re also not loud and crazy about their relationship in the games— it’s almost like their feelings seem so repressed that it somehow makes it feel queer? Idk. Something something bi wife energy.

They are every single Hozier song ever.

The unrelenting devotion Alex has for Farah makes me swoon. So many opportunities for hurt/comfort!! Bro literally LOST HIS LEG!! Show me the recovery process, the chronic pain, the relief of taking off his prosthetic at the end of the day!! And don’t even get me started on Farah slowly processing her trauma that she received during her time with the Russians

They’re not portrayed in the fics I’ve read as trying to “fix eachother” and it working, if that makes sense? Like in Ghoap fics, I often feel like Soap fixes Ghost, instead of them being mentally ill about it together (faralex), OR lifting up the other while they’re already on their journey- encouraging them to heal, not for their lovers benefit, but for their own. (SOO faralex it hurts.)

Anyways this was probably three layers too meta for ur question 💀 I’ve been in the cod fandom for at least a year(?) and I genuinely believe that Faralex is the best and most underrated ship. It’s so delicious.

FINALLY someone else who’s as insane abt Faralex as me!!

*gently embarrassed but enthusiastic thumbs up*

Thank you! I am SO glad that people on the internet are like "ay cool!" because I literally cannot talk about CoD shipping with any of my irl friends I sound like a fucking lunatic but HONESTLY even randos on youtube videos of them are like "ok they're fucking right?" like WE ALL KNOW THE DYNAMIC IS GOOD IF THE NORMIES ARE FEELING IT.

Anyway I had a weird month and have so much fan content that... we'll see if I post it. Maybe gently over a period of months as to not be unhinged. idk

You should tell me your favorite part about the ship!

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[owlmylove]

Ok so as someone who has never seen an episode of Supernatural in their life but understands a lot of references/whatnot from living through superwholock tumblr, can you explain what happened with destiel? I don't know what to google :/

as someone who has also never seen an episode of Supernatural but was slowly poisoned by the smog of secondhand fandom back in the 20-teens, I’ll do my best babe!!

Castiel apparently made some sort of deal with some sort of entity (??) that, if he was ever happy, he would immediately descend into Super Hell because obvi supernatural has lost all sense of consequences since they jumped the shark in like, season 2 and presumably have spent the last 8 years jumping a veritable Sea World’s worth of meaninglessly dramatic plot twists

anyway, Castiel told Dean he loves him in some of the worst heterosexual acting I have ever seen, somehow (????) felt happy while watching Jensen Ackles look furiously constipated, and then was immediately sucked down a firey hell tube into Super Hell (which feels very Freudian anal fixation 2 me), where gay people go if they dare to be happy for one (1) second

ALSO: the script has since leaked and Dean reportedly “Can Not Reciprocate” so CW rlly just handed us the fastest ever bury your gays speedrun and said “you’re welcome :) :) :)”

this news broke last night while most people were enjoying the bamboo-under-fingernails sensation of refreshing twitter every 5 seconds to check Nevada/Pennsylvania/Georgia results in the U.S. election, and APPARENTLY the New York Post decided this was a good time to come out with a headline that claimed Putin was stepping down as president

natch, the overlap of these 3 events was too much for our tenuous grasp on reality to survive and all hell broke loose. most ppl found out abt the Putin resignation (which has since been denied by the Kremlin) via tweets about destiel “becoming canon” (which has since been disproven by the script) and we all collectively took a tab of cultural LSD and astral-projected back to 2012

now johnlock apologists are apparently crossing their fingers (I think they’re getting a new season in 2022? because yeah sure why the fuck not) and i’m looking over my shoulder every 5 minutes in case the fucking once-ler rises again

soooooo thats what you missed last time on glee <3 

[absynthe--minded]

This is going to be a long questions, but I feel you are the right person to ask this too... How late in the many rewriting of the Silmarillion material does the rescue of Maedhros from Thangorodrim appear? The reason I ask is that I have been wondering how that plot line, which is objectively a) pure fire b) a very clean "stand alone" narrative, did not in time evolve to receive a more similar treatment to the three "great stories" (CoH, B&L, tFoG), and my best hypothesis is that iirc in general the Sons of Feanor become the characters we know relatively late in the process, being more straight up villains before. Or maybe you have some different thoughts about this...

oh this is a great question and I am somehow the right person to ask this to because I have an answer for you, but it’s not quite the one you’re expecting, I think. this story is stupid old, and also, it’s pure fire, exactly like you said. this is a LONG post but I’m trying to be brief.

Maedhros’s rescue is inherently tied into the story of and the development of the Oath of Fëanor, which in its earliest appearance wasn’t actually connected to Fëanor at all. Maedhros has basically always been a captive, and always been important, but Fingon’s part in the tale is what’s newer. In The Book of Lost Tales vol. I, Christopher says that the earliest iteration of what would become the Oath was sworn voluntarily by Maedhros and his brothers after Fëanor’s death - he led an assault against Angband, and was captured, and his torture and torment were because he refused to give up the secrets of Noldorin jewelcrafting. It’s never explicitly said he escaped or was rescued or freed, but he gets free somehow, because once he rejoins the others they all collectively swear an "oath of hatred, for ever against all, Gods or Elves or Men, who should hold the Silmarils” and then the seven of them and their host withdraw from the rest of the Noldor and live in Dor-lómin.

Christopher mentions in his commentary that Fingon plays no part in any of this and that there’s no mention of Maedhros being maimed but he finds it interesting that the story still has quite a lot of its core elements in place despite that - the Oath, withdrawing from the Noldorin people at large, capture and freedom - and I’m inclined to agree with him. I also want to point out that these earliest versions of the stories place a much greater emphasis on the Silmarils as objects, and jewelcrafting as a skill to be coveted and stolen, where I think later versions focus more on Finwë’s death with the Silmarils as a sort of proxy for Fëanor’s grief. I also feel like the Oath makes way more sense as a response to trauma in the “sworn out of anger and the desire for vengeance towards Morgoth for years of torture” version - if I were tortured over a bunch of rocks I’d sure as hell be mad at the guy who did that.

In The Lays of Beleriand, which is the next volume chronologically and the next phase of Tolkien’s writing, we get mention of “Maidros whom Morgoth maimed and tortured” wielding his sword in his left hand, and later (I think in version VI of the Lay of Leithian) we also get a verse telling of the swearing of the Oath on Túna (here called Tun) by Fëanor and his sons. All the key pieces are already in place, even “Be he friend or foe” (though what follows after is in verse and paraphrased). Fingon is here! We’re told he freed Maedhros, and that Maedhros was hanging from Thangorodrim in a cruel shackle, but we don’t see how or hear any of the key details. Though, this is an introduction to the world designed to set the stage for Beren and Lúthien, so I don’t actually mind too much. Too much. (I’ve talked before in my own meta about the connections and thematic parallels between the Thangorodrim rescue and B&L, so I think it’s interesting that JRRT explicitly mentions it in this context). Fingon is also then immediately said to have fallen in battle with his “white banners and his lords”. because this is the Silmarillion, did you expect happiness here?

By the time we hit The Shaping of Middle-Earth, we start to see things really come together. In what Chris calls “the earliest Silmarillion,” Fingon (here called Finweg, hilariously) resolves to heal the feud, goes off to find Maedhros, and finds him but can’t release him because he’s trapped by an “enchanted bond”. Maedhros begs to be slain, Thorondor shows up, Fingon cuts off his hand, Thorondor takes them back to Mithrim, we know the story from here on out. The Quenta is much the same, though he’s still called Finweg, and here we get the first mention of the bow and Maedhros begging to be shot with it. After Fingon gets to Maedhros, we get another “please kill me”, the hand is cut off, and off to Mithrim we go. Here’s also the first mention in prose that I could find of Maedhros being more deadly with his left hand than his right.

The Lost Road doesn’t have anything new, and then we get 6-9 talking about the history of LotR’s drafts; anything after that is what Chris refers to as “The Later Silmarillion”, which has basically everything you’d expect.

The thing I find most interesting personally is how complete this narrative element was basically right from the start, after the early installment weirdness of the Lost Tales - it’s a lot like the Great Tales in that respect, where the core of the story doesn’t shift much at all. Fingon’s prominence and characterization, and the details surrounding his rescue, get more and more pronounced with time. Fingon and Maedhros being tied together by some form of friendship is new, I’m fairly certain that Fingon being the person Maedhros asks after at Losgar is new, and by the 50s and the Grey Annals in The War of the Jewels we get “and their love was renewed” and mentions of the green stone as a gift to Fingon. From a Russingon perspective it’s a bit like the inverse of Túrin and Beleg - those two start out extremely textually gay and get more and more subdued with time, where Fingon and Maedhros get fleshed out more and more as they go on.

As to your theory about how the Fëanorians got more developed over time, I think there’s a lot of truth to it. I don’t think that they were ever solely villainous - even in the Lays they’ve got some ambiguity - but all of the elvish characters began to develop their individual identities more and more over time, and the intricacies of the family drama really flourish in Morgoth’s Ring as opposed to Shaping (though, in a moment that made me laugh, Tolkien talks about there being “little love” between the two camps of Noldor in Mithrim in that book, and I have to imagine them glaring at one another across the lake). But I think that the rescue did evolve, it just didn’t ever become its own Great Tale, and my best guess there is that it’s just too interconnected, almost? Like, in order to understand (in the latest versions of the story that coincidentally have the most emotional impact) what’s going on, you have to care about the characters’ ties to one another, and you have to know about Valinorean family drama and Fëanor vs. Fingolfin and the Silmarils and all of that stuff.

despite the length I absolutely loved talking about this, holy shit, I’d wanted an excuse to go digging in HoME on this subject and boy do I have it now.