#they're morons your honor

[revenantghost]

[miitarashi]

Villain[Name]: HELP! I TOLD TINTIN I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Haddock, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

[goodomensao3tagoftheday]

[feralforbeanix]

It's so funny to me when I read a fanfic or even an online post about how if wrightworth (or any defense attorney x prosecutor ship) happened they wouldn't be able to face each other in court any more.

My brother in christ this is Ace Attorney. If you're worried about what is and isn't allowed in actual court I've got some bad news about most of what happens in canon.

[nethhiri]

Marooned: Chapter 44

Kid x FemReader x Killer

This chap featuring Heat x FemReader. Skip to the break if you want to skip Heat smut (but why would you?)

Warnings: Sex (bit of cumplay ( involves licking the floor), reader dominant, degradation of Heat, role play)

Turning Up The Heat

Tight, white fabric hung to your figure as you waited, flicking the toothpick in your mouth with your tongue. Your coat covered the little costume you had on, the one Kid had assisted you with finding. It was the loosest interpretation of a marine uniform you had ever seen. Loose meaning several different things. There was a great deal of pleasure to be had teasing Heat, who had been told to come to the infirmary. There was a knock at the door and Heat walked in. You were turned so that he couldn't see your costume right away.

"Strip."

"Huh?" Heat had no idea why you wanted to see him and he was a bit flustered at your request.

You turned around. "Don't make me repeat myself, pirate."

Heat's eyes went wide. "Oh." The corners of his mouth twitched up. "Oh!" It finally clicked with him what was going on here. He didn't know why, but he wasn't complaining. This was one of his fantasies. Not only a marine, but the Sea Snake in the flesh. He started to burn under your gaze, fumbling with the cords on his corset.

You leaned back against the countertop, watching as Heat removed his clothing. He was taller than Killer and a little wider, just as muscular. His skin was tan in a way that was closer to gray than to orange. It suited him and complimented his blue-gray hair, which, you were now noticing, peeked out from his waistband and drew a line to his belly button. He paused for a moment before shimmying out of his pants and all that was underneath. He stepped out of the puddled clothes on the floor and looked at you, already half-hard. You motioned for him to spin and watched the counters of his body, making a noise of appreciation.

You walked over to him and made a slow circle around him, running a nail down his spine, watching goosebumps form on his skin. Your hand traveled to squeeze his ass, feeling how firm it was. Moving to his front, you pulled a riding crop from your boot, touching it to the base of his throat and moving it under his chin. You ran it over his cheek, applying light pressure to turn his head from side to side. Then you grabbed a handful of his hair and let it slip out of your fingers.

"You'll do." You took the toothpick out of your mouth and stuck it between his lips. "Hold onto that for me." You put the crop under his chin again. "And don't let it fall."

You spit into your hand and curled your fingers around Heat's still hardening shaft. Moving your hand slowly up and down Heat, you flicked your eyes up to his, which were avoiding your gaze. "That's right, pirate. Keep your filthy eyes off me." Heat's dick grew harder under your grasp. He liked that, did he? "Turn around, hands on the gurney."

Heat did as you said. He gulped in anticipation as he heard you walk away to get something. Heat almost lost the toothpick when he felt the crop crack against his ass, biting back a gasp. He could feel his tip leak with every swat you applied. Then, he felt you press up against him, the fabric of your miniskirt rubbing against his ass and your bare stomach touching the warm skin of his back. He felt your hand around his cock again, this time with lubricant. His lips were pressed together, only letting whimpers and moans pass through, though he almost dropped the toothpick again when he felt cool fingers slide between his cheeks, pausing to see if there were any complaints from his end, of which there were none. He groaned from his nose when he felt you press two fingers inside the tight ring of muscle. He couldn't resist moving his hips to slide himself further back onto your fingers and simultaneously move his cock within your hand.

"You're lucky my hands are tied up or that would earn you another smack. Stay still." You pumped your fingers in and out of him, trying to keep time with your other hand. "I bet you let anyone have their way with you. I bet you act as a whore for your captain, don't you? Your ass is eating me up." You curled your fingers inside him. "Well, you're my whore now, understand?" He nodded. "That's a good pet," you purred.

You worked a third finger in, increasing the pace. Heat's cock twitched in your hold and his ass tightened around your fingers as you rubbed against his sweet spot. He was close. "If you cum well for me, maybe I'll let you fuck my little marine pussy. Would you like that?" He nodded again. "I need you to give me all the cum in those big heavy balls of yours. I want it all over my hand, all over the floor. Prove that you can fill me up like the dirty pirate you are. Show me that you're not a worthless pirate, you can be a worthy pet."

Heat let out a primal grunt, sending a hot load into your hand, much of it spilling onto the floor.

"Uh oh." You put the cum covered fingers into his mouth, pulling his cheek so that he would face you. "Looks like you didn't do everything I asked of you. And I was being so kind." You held the toothpick up to him, which must have fallen out when he was panting after his release. "On your hands and knees. Make it quick."

Heat did as you commanded, very much enjoying this role play.

"I'm going to wash my hands of your disgusting fluids. I expect that mess to be cleaned by the time I'm done." You curled your tongue in a licking motion, giving Heat the hint. You washed slowly, observing as Heat cleaned the floor with his tongue. You guessed right when you thought he took pleasure in degradation and some power play.

When you were done, you sat on the gurney above, chiding him for not being finished. "Tsk. Disappointing. I don't think you know how to use your tongue properly." You motioned him closer, grabbing his face. "Which is really such a shame because this face was made to sit on." You smirked as Heat's cheeks turned red. You moved close to the edge, spreading your knees enough that Heat could see there was nothing underneath the very tiny skirt.

Heat felt his cock twitch back to life. He couldn't see details in the shadow of your clothes, but he could tell your cunt was dripping from the pheromonal scent that made his mouth water.

"You're aching for a taste aren't you?" You grabbed a fistful of his hair. "Your pathetic pirate cock can't stay down. What would your crew say if they knew you were fiending for the pristine, succulent, hot cunt of another captain?" He looked at you with pleading eyes. "Oh~ you do want it badly." You ran your fingers up your slit, gathering some of the slick, and offered it to Heat, who took your fingers in his mouth and sucked all of your essence off. You pulled the skirt up until it was bunched at your hips, looking from Heat's face to your center.

He didn't need any more of an invitation than that to brace his shoulders under your thighs and pull your cunt into his face with his hands digging into your ass. You were so wet and tasted so good. Heat's tongue bullied its way into your hole, lapping at every inch he could reach, groaning into you.

Truly, you were already pretty worked up from the previous activity, not realizing you would be into it as much as it turned out you were. Your legs threatened to snap shut as you felt Heat's teeth graze your clit. His tongue moved to swirl around it next. You didn't know how he did it or that he could have such fine control over his power, but you swear his tongue was much hotter than it should have been, not to the point of being uncomfortable. Actually, it was driving you crazy. His hot breath panting against you was tightening the coil within as well. You felt him pause and let out a strangled moan, muttering a curse. Glancing down, he had cum again just from eating you out. Fuck that's hot. Heat swiped some of the cum with his fingers and shoved them into you as he sucked on your clit. Nasty. He expertly found the spot you favored and repeatedly curled his fingers into it, watching his cum mix with your fluids until a rush of your juices flooded against his hand and your thighs.

The coil had snapped and your head was thrown back in a cry of pleasure. "Shit!" You moaned. "Fuck, Heat." Your legs quivered and closed around his head. Your chest heaved with your panting.

"How's that for a filthy pirate?"

______________________________________________________________

Kid's amber eyes were fixated on you, high up in the rigging making adjustments before the ship left for the next island. You had your leg wrapped into the rope in such a way that you were being held upside down to get a better angle at something. You looked very different from the first time he had seen you, scrawny, a bit feral. Now, your muscle had filled back out and he could no longer make out the shape of your hip bones. He was proud of how far you had come, even if the first half of your time with them had been... rocky. Although he was certain you could have pulled yourself back together on your own, he would like to think that he and his crew helped speed it along, more in that second half...

"Enjoying the view?"

Kid snapped out of his thoughts. "No! I mean... well, yeah... I guess." He watched Killer's shoulders move up and down slightly. "Shut up, Killer." 

The blonde loved how easy it was to fluster Kid. It was becoming more and more obvious that he had feelings for you and Killer was going to exploit every second of it. "I'm gonna tell her you said no."

"Don't." Kid narrowed his eyes at his best friend.

"But if I make her mad at you, she'll come to me," Killer teased.

"Not if I make her mad at ya first."  Kid took off climbing the mast, swatting at Killer, who was following him. 

You were greasing up some of the pulleys when without warning, Kid and Killer appeared several feet away from you on the mast. Killer was attached to Kid's back monkey-style so they were at the same level, otherwise Kid would have been higher than him. "Can I... help you?" 

"Kid had something to tell you."

Kid shot a look at the blonde, knowing damn well he had no ammo with which to make you mad at Killer. "Killer... told me yer bad at chopping vegetables." 

"Kid's been using your toothbrush."

"Nuh uh! The purple one is mine. I thought we decided." 

Not this again. What are they doing? 

"Ok, well, Killer, uh, Killer's been telling everyone that ya snore." 

"Kid farted yesterday and blamed it on you after you left the room."

"He jerks off with yer dirty panties."

That escalated quickly. 

"He eats off your plate when you're not looking."

"Killer leaves the toilet seat up."

"That's you!"

This was confusing. "Are you guys done?" They looked at each other and nodded. You started counting off on your fingers, still upside down, "Everyone knows I'm bad in the kitchen. Kid, your toothbrush is the fucking red one. I don't snore. I don't think you fooled anyone, Kid. Who do you think gives him the panties? I fucking knew it. And lastly, again, that's you, Kid." Your arms were crossed. "What the fuck is this? Couldn't it wait until I was done?"

"Killer was gonna make ya mad at me so that ya would spend time with him and not me."

You were trying not to smile at Kid's cute pouting face. "So you made up shit to make Killer look equally bad?" You shook your head. "You're both ridiculous." 

Kid started swatting at Killer on his back again. "Ya made me look like an idiot." 

"You don't need help on that front," Killer retorted.

"Hey. Guys." It was sort of charming that Kid got so huffy over the threat of you spending time with someone else. It wasn't jealousy. It was more akin to a dog forgetting about his bone until another dog started to chew it. As precious as it was, the two were arguing very closely to some of the ropes you were working with. "Can we do this on the ground please?" You were hurriedly trying to free your leg and get off the ropes before you fell. Turns out, you didn't have to worry about falling. 

Kid and Killer, in their scuffle, tangled themselves in the ropes and fell off the mast. They were fine. They had extra padding compared to you. Unfortunately, you were on the other end of that rope. Maybe you should have stayed upside down. You were jerked up, hitting your head on the crossbar of the mast so hard that your vision went black. It hurt so badly you thought you would lose your grip, and maybe you did for a second, but ultimately you were able to climb down on your own, already healed by the time that your feet were back on deck. 

Now, you really were mad, at both of them. Even if you could heal yourself, that was very painful. And if you were knocked out completely, you wouldn't have been able to heal yourself. You could have bled into your brain. Your power was useful and strong but you were, by no means, immortal.

You stalked off to your bunk, not even looking in the boys' direction. You were mad at them, though you didn't want to be. Instead of saying something you would regret, you chose to cool off alone. Truthfully, you had been enjoying their banter and their company. It was just an accident. You didn't need to yell at them anyway. You were pretty sure they felt bad about it. Not to toot your own horn, but you were kind of proud of yourself for not flying off the handle. That's called ~growth~.

Later, you found Wire at the helm. His presence had shifted from being unnerving to being calming. You were giving yourself space from Kid and Killer. Casually, you glanced over the maps. The next island wasn't that far away. 

"Leaving in the morning." Wire commented.

You hummed an affirmative. 

A minute passed before Wire spoke again. "What did you say?"

"Huh?"

"Kid didn't ask you yet?"

"Ask what?"

"Oops. Forget it."

"Wire." You pressed him. "You can't just say shit like that and not elaborate." It was kind of funny for a giant man to say 'oops' in the most monotone voice you'd ever heard.

He moved his hood to scratch behind his head. You hadn't noticed that the sides of his dark hair were silver. "Ah I fucked up." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Any chance you would leave me alone if I don't tell you?" 

"None." You thought for a moment. "One. Tell me what happened in the crow's nest with Killer."

Wire begrudgingly groaned. "I, uh, would actually prefer to tell you what Kid said." Wire muttered under his breath, "Ugh. He's gonna kick my ass." 

"Go on."

"It's already kind of an unspoken thing, but..." Wire folded his arms and pretended to be interested in the maps. "He was gonna ask officially if," Wire cleared his throat, "you would stay and be a part of the crew." 

What a change from several months ago when you had first met.

"Yeah the next island is a pleasure island so we were gonna celebrate. Or he was gonna drown his sorrows in drink and flesh. Depending on what you said." Wire ran a hand over his sideburn. "Ah maybe I said too much again." He shrugged. "Whatever. Now you know." He waved you off, hoping to be left alone again.

"And what do you all think?" Kid was the captain, however, you wouldn't be comfortable unless everyone was in agreement.

"Hm?"

"You, Heat, and Killer?"

"Who do you think encouraged Kid ask you officially?" There was the faintest hint of a smile on Wire's face, which was hidden by shadow when he put his hood up again.

Next Chapter

[flawlessfallen]

"You'regonnasaywhatnow???"

That's completely thrown the fallen angel for a total loop because, okay wow!

PUNCHES the wall next to his head and leans in, squinting. "...knock knock?"

A pause for five seconds, just processing what just happened. Oh ho now... what was this all about?

"... Are we fighting or flirting~?"

[dashing-rapscallion]

Good Omens s2 spoilers!!

What I really want for season 3 is some Crowley angst actually. The love of his life has just chosen Heaven (something that hurt Crowley in the past) over him and I think clearly his anger is just a facade to hide the absolute heartbreak he's feeling. So I need Crowley angst, where after days of thinking about Aziraphale and why he didn't choose him, he starts thinking that Azi must've had a reason. So he starts thinking like heaven : demons=bad. And when Aziraphale comes back (he will. He HAS to.) Crowley is just shocked because why would his perfect angel come back for 𝘩𝘪𝘮, a 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯? He's just kinda regressed into this black and white thinking in spite of himself, and Aziraphale WILL have to kiss him to show him how wrong he is.

I want Crowley angst but I 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 them to be happy.

[caeca-iustitia]

Vincent, just trying to drink some water whilst minding their own business: :)

Someone: *stabs them*

Vincent, after dropping their glass of water: My water... :(

[the-writing-goblin]

@romanceyourdemons

I choose to believe that despite them living in second century China, they celebrate valentine's day. It happened like this:

Huang Mi picked a random day on which to be obnoxiously in love every year, and it turned into this big thing in their fiefdom and it's spiraled way out of control and now there's all this pressure to remember the day and do something even more impressive than last year and fuck where is he gonna get five hundred white doves-

hey girl will you be the loser liege lord to my second century warlord this valentine’s day

[asunflowerana]

𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐡𝐢𝐦?

summary: their sister got a new boyfriend, and unfortunately for them, they already know the guy.

with: teiko team and Kagami.

n: remastered prompt, with a brother x boyfriend model (which i thought was really fun to do it haha). Let me know if you guys liked it, hope you all enjoy it!

⊛ akashi seijuro x midorima shintaro

Seijuro’s actually pleased by the surprise. He knows his former teammate pretty well, so he won't have problems trusting him to take care of you and treat you well, as you deserve.

Not only he found it pleasing, but also amusing. It's not every day that your sister decides to date such a confident, stubborn guy, which makes things a bit more interesting for him as the big brother.

“Midorima-kun. What a nice surprise.” The red-haired cordially extends his hand to the new family's addition, wearing a subtle smirk while gazing at him with his piercing, red pupils. Midorima isn't a fool to trust these eyes. “I have a feeling we’ll have a good time together, won't we?

⊛ aomine daiki x kagami taiga

“You've got to be kidding...” It’s the first thing that comes out of Daiki's mouth, looking at your new, moron boyfriend. As if it isn't good enough to deal with him at the championships, now in his personal life too? With his sister? Alright, where're the cameras? 'Cause he's having no fun with this prank.

let's face it, Aomine will make Taiga's life very difficult from now on: expect a lot of bickering and growling at each other every time they're together. However, if he's being honest, Daiki’s actually relieved that your new boyfriend is someone as upstanding and honorable as Taiga; he wouldn’t want you to date someone who doesn't treat you well. So, even though he’s an imbecile (which, yes, he is, and a lot), he's also kinda... trusty. He won't ever say that out loud, though.

“Okay, fine... I can accept this." He points at you both, discontent but not wanting you sad for not having his support. "but you better leave me out of the sappy romance of yours. Too much to sleep at night."

⊛ midorima shintaro x kise ryota

Midorima's already someone difficult to win, especially to a guy who wants to date his sister. So regardless of their past, with Kise it won't be any different; in fact, it'll be worse, due to Kise’s cocky and overly charming personality, unpleasant to the green-haired boy.

Kise isn’t so bad as a person, thoug. Smug, overwhelming, sometimes futile? yes. But he can't deny he also has a good heart. For your happiness, he'll make an effort. The blonde better be prepared for what comes for him, though.

“You really have a bad taste in men.” He bluntly tells you, quickly getting on Kise's nerves, to his delight. Before any of you can protest, he continues. “But he’s not as dumb as the others, so I can deal with him. For now.”

⊛ kise ryota x murasakibara atsushi

“You're kidding, right?” Kise can't help but cackle, bewildered by the news. Not even in his wildest dream did he see something like that happening. You, his baby sister, dating this giant child? It's too much to actually be real. “Murasakibara-chi, you spend all your money on candy, how will you treat my sister that way?”

He honestly doesn’t get what you saw in Murasaki. The lad is lazy, whine at everything, gets easily bored, and probably has more cavities in his teeth than fingers. How can that be attractive?

It'll take a while, but Kise'll eventually notice Atsushi's qualities as a boyfriend. Definitely, he isn't the ideal guy he was planning for you, but you're his world, and that's what matters in the end for Kise.

⊛ murasakibara atsushi x akashi seijuro

Atsushi's fine with the news. He actually noticed the way you and Akashi slowly grew close to each other. He has a lot of respect for him, confident that he’s the best person to take care of his sister and give her a good future. If it were up to him, you might even marry sooner than planned.

“Seijuro-kun, you're _____'s new boyfriend?” He rewinds, asking no one in specific. Akashi offers him a nod, with a small smile on his face while holding your hand. The purple-haired boy scratches his chin, unfazed but internally pleased. “Well, I think this is good news.”

⊛ kagami taiga x aomine daiki

“Please tell me this is a joke.” Kagami practically begs you, hating the teasing smirk Daiki wears on his face, bothering his future brother-in-law. You shake your head, and Kagami loses his freaking mind. “Of so many people in the world, why him? Like, there's our neighbor Koshi that helps you with groceries when I'm out, or that nice barista that gives you heart eyes everytime we're there. Heck, you could even date a mobster, for good's sake, just not him! What is so attractive about him? No, actually, I don’t want to know. I need to keep the rest of my sanity intact.”

As you can notice, Kagami was quite affected by your new relationship. And with Aomine nagging him constantly, it got even harder for him not to just jump in Daiki's throat. But with time, the two will learn how to deal with each other, especially since Aomine’s clearly making you happy. He can be a moron, but at least he’s doing his job right.

reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated. 💕

© asunflowerana 2024 — all rights reserved.

[abrikazam]

they're morons, your honor

[pr-fae]

They're morons your honor

[krsonmar]

Oh hey lol I found a piece of historical realism in OFMD! /affectionate

watching a video about this cargo ship that blew up in texas in the 40’s and it’s like . i know that with a lot of incidents especially older ones like this the reason that the safety standards were so shitty was because they literally did not know that these kinds of disasters COULD happen (and in many cases these disasters are what MADE the safety standards better) but sometimes you just learn about this shit and you think. how could all these people be so stupid

[shaykappa]

Favourite/Funniest Line's from Crooked Kingdom

"Let's go." "Me?" "No the idiot behind you."

"How is-" "Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I am stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids."

"Now why can't people be this easily trained?" Kaz murmured as he crouched to oblige the dog with a belly rub.

"Did you know I am next in line for the Fjerdan throne? They call me Princess Ilse of Engelsberg." "There is no princess of Engelsberg. It's a fishing town."

"Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?" "So?" "Well, usually it's just half the city."

"Big, blond and blind. The Fjerdan way."

"If I live I'll buy you waffles." "You don't have enough money to buy her waffles."

"Do you know what Van Eck's problem is?" "No honor?" "Rotten parenting skills?" "Receding hairline?"

"Isn't that how things are done around here? We all tell Kaz we are fine and the do something stupid?" "Are we that predictable?" "Yes."

"It seems everyone is forming alliances." "They're called friendships Kaz."

"You are very welcome Nina Zenik. You may repay me in the costumary way." "Waffles?" "Lots of them."

"I need to do this. I've never been to my mother's grave. I am not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye." "Trust me, you care more than she does."

"You are stupid about a lot of things Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I am going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue." "He' ll never believe it." "Then I 'll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue."

"Come on, let's do steal all my dad's money. "Isn't it your money?" "Okay, let's go steal it back."

"I think you 'd flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention." "If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice."

"Yes, yes, Nina Zenik is hungry. Now, will someone feed me before I am forced to cook one of you?" "Don't be ridiculous. You don't know how to cook."

"On a dare I ate a literal through full of waffles and nearly went back for seconds."

"Pick up the pace." "If I spill a single drop of this it will burn straight through the floor onto my father's dinner guests." "Take your time."

"I am Dunyasha, the White Blade, trained by the Sages of Ahmrat Jen, the greatest assassin of this age." "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Fate brought me here." "And does fate pay your wages?"

"My parents thought I would drown because I crawled into the sea as a baby, laughing." "Perhaps they were worried you would talk yourself to death."

"Kaz. You may not be glad we are alive, but we are glad you are alive."

"You are better than waffles, Matthias Helvar." "Let's not say things we don't mean, my love."

"Are you mad?" "I'd probably be happier if I was."

"You have to be the craziest bastard I ever met." "I'll take that as a compliment."

"My leg! My leg!" "I recommend a cane."

"What is wrong with him?" "Same thing that's always wrong with him. He's Kaz Brekker."

Jesper followed Wylan down the hall. "Hey." Wylan kept going.

"Jes, I 've thought about this-" "Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?"

Wylan ran his tongue over his lips and spat in his father's face.

He was pale, with tufty orange brows and a hunched posture that gave him the look of a giant shrimp.

He felt bad for the guy. Not bad enough to wake him up and untie him, but still.

"I 've been shot!" He had not been shot.

"How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?"

"Tell you what. When the day comes, mark it on your calendars. I can think of a lot of people who 'll want to throw a party.

"Wait. Is my tie straight?"

[adhd-coyote]

Alright, since you all seemed to like my Mando'a rambling so much, here's a list of curses, insults, and threats in Mando'a. This is a combination of official words/phrases (grabbed from Mandocreator and this lovely dictionary by @/peltigaan), stuff I've come up with myself, and things that some wonderful people on the Oya Biatch Discord server <3 (You can find our dictionary here) I highly recommend checking out both linked dictionaries for all your Mando'a needs, they're both great

Chakaar - Thief/petty criminal (lit. Corpse robber) Chakaaryc - Rotten/lowlife Dar’manda - No longer a Mandalorian, someone who has abandoned their creed Demagolka - Monster, child abuser, someone who commits atrocities, a war criminal Di’kut - Idiot (lit. Someone who forgets to put their pants on) Di’kutla - Useless, stupid, worthless Dini - Lunatic Dini’la - Insane Gar ven'mar'eyi gar kyr'am pare - You will find your death waiting Ge’hut’uun - Not even notable enough to be called a coward Haar’chak - Damn it Hut’uun - Coward Kaysh mirsh solus- They’re an idiot (lit. Their brain cell is lonely.) Kaysh ru'hokaani kaysh videk - They have cut their own throat (They've fucked themself over) Ke’shab garast ti [item] - Go fuck yourself with a(n) [item] Kih’osik - Little shit Mir’sheb - Smartass Mir’osik - Shit for brains Mirsh’kyramud - Boring person (lit. brain killer) Mirshepar’la - Boring (lit. brain devouring) Nar’sheb - Shove it up your ass Najaat - Someone with no honor Ne shab’rud’ni - Don’t fuck with me Ner kal ven’isiri gar tal - My blade will taste your blood Ni cetar’narir kay’shebs - I'm going to shove my boot up their ass Ori’buyce, kih’kovid - All helmet, no head (Insult for a big ego) Or’dini - Moron/fool Osik - Shit Osi’kyr - Oh shit Os’ika - Little shit (affectionate) Osik’la - Shitty Osik’uram - Rude person/someone with no filter (lit. Shit mouth) Jagyc’kovid - Dickhead Jar’sheb - Dumbass Shab - Fuck Shabiir - To fuck up Shabla - Fucked up Shab’rudur - To fuck with Shabuir - Motherfucker (Or, by another interpretation, a bad parent) Shebs - Ass Sheb’palon - Asshole Sheb’urcyin - Ass-kisser Sheb’urcyir - To suck up/“to kiss ass” Skanah - Much-hated thing/person (Bitch/Asshole) Ke’soora, shab - Suck it, fucker Ke’soora ner jagyc - Suck my dick Usen’ye - Go away/Fuck off Utreekov - Fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead) Vaar’ika - Pipsqueak/runt [Item] lo’shebs’ul narit - You can shove your [item] up your ass

[autumnmobile12]

My Hero Academia: Ambush Simulation AU

The remaining Vanguard members minutes before Final War.

Spinner: So what's the plan? We all put our hands together in the center for one last cliché or are we running out of the warp gate screaming like mad Vikings?

Dabi: I'll run out screaming.

Shimura: Hey, if you wanna blow out your vocal chords for the third time this month, far be it from us to stop you. By the way, if I don't make it back, I promised Eri my dog.

Toga: We're totally coming back alive.

Mr. Compress: Are we shouting a battle cry in our Old Norse impressions or are we incoherent? Classic 'Charge!' perhaps?

Shimura: I was thinking 'Fuck 'im up!' is brutally concise and gets the point across. I know it's a little crass, but we're vigilantes, not heroes. We have some liberties.

Spinner: Totally shoulda brought war paint.

Mr. Compress: *tipping his hat* It's been an honor, Vanguard.

Toga: For Mag and Jin!

Spinner: No funerals today, people. We want the hospital, then home.

Dabi: Survive if we can, take them with us if we can't. See you on the other side, morons.

Shimura: *visibly tearing up* I just wanna thank all of you for being the best and worst people I've ever met. Battle stations?

All: Battle stations!

...

Shouto: *hearing the shouting* They're having fun over there.

Deku: Well, I'm not surprised. These are the same people who were invited to crash a high school summer camp and then they did it because they thought it was hilarious.

...

I'm picturing the vibe of a rowdy wolfpack of pissed off vigilantes charging out of the warp gate.

And then Kirishima all: