#they're just two gay boys your honour

[nevereclipse]

suits fics i n e e d

1. A ConcernedTM Harvey makes a Sleep DeprivedTM Mike go home and rest, but Mike is too tired to ride his bike, so Harvey insists on driving him home. And Sleep DeprivedTM Mike makes some comments about how *pretty* he finds Harvey that he wouldn’t usually say aloud.

2. The “Thats my suit. My spare suit, from my office” fic because NO WAY was Harvey not obsessed with seeing Mike in his clothes. 

I can’t think of any more, but I will ADD to this. And if you have recs, please tell me. PLEASE. 

[javelinbk]

Here it is, Beatle People! The official 'Insane Things Paul Has Said About John' list, as created by the people of tumblr. I hope this is a useful supplement to the original McLennon iceberg

Sources under the cut:

“He was a very cool boy” (@javelinbk)

"Whenever other people do that it always reminds me of John" (@javelinbk)

"We put our names next to each other in our school exercise books" (@beatlepaul4ever)

When was Lennon at his best? "When he was asleep." (@didwemeetsomewherebefore)

"A delicious broth of a boy" (@zilabee)

"A lovely little baby, John was" (@mallowedheart)

"Daddy's room" (@pauls1967moustache)

"We’re songwriting together even if we’re not together" (@midchelle)

"John seemed like some sort of emperor in control of it all" (@blondecasino)

"I'm trying to get my son to have a son and call him Lennon, and then he'll be Lennon McCartney" (@peaceloveandstarrs)

“John and I had millions of fabulous little experiences in Paris” (@divine-sphinx)

"We used to have wanking sessions" (@merseydreams)

"You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, 'Shit, am I gay?'" (@skylikeaflame)

"It was a place called Menlove Avenue. [Pauses] Someone's going to read significance into that: Paul and John on Menlove Avenue. Come onnnnnnn" (@s-l-martin)

"I slept with him a million times" (@s-l-martin)

"A wild and woolly genius who it was my pleasure to work with, walk with, talk with, and occasionally sleep with." (@didwemeetsomewherebefore)

"In bed" (@i-am-the-oyster)

"Well, I’m sure Brian was in love with John, I’m sure that’s absolutely right. I mean, everyone was in love with John; John was lovable, John was a very lovable guy." (@whenyourbirdisbroken)

"Dear friend, throw the wine, I’m in love with a friend of mine." (@heartsinthebasement)

"We got very drunk and cried about how we loved each other" (@nikidontsurf)

“Then also we were like married, so you got the bitterness. It’s not a woman scorned this time, it’s two men scorned — probably even worse. And I had to make way for Yoko. My relationship with John could not have remained as it was and Yoko feel secure.” (@thefortunateisle)

"If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…" (@alienoriana, @majinmelmo)

"You just don’t hang around with your ex-wife" (@javelinbk)

"No, I have a lot of dreams about John, and they're always good" (@notgrungybitchin, @skylikeaflame)

"This (painting) is John’s Room. It just looked to me like John, when he had his long hair and then his cloak or whatever this is. Then I just scratched in that, looked like one of those drawings John used to do. You know his funny little men. So then I called that John’s room … If I’m gonna see a face in a painting it’s highly likely to be his." (@foryouwereinmysong)

"I wish I had sat and just hugged John all the time when we were together.’ (…) I’d just sit around and hug him forever. That’s the depth of my feeling for him" (@theoldmixer)

“Here Today - a love song to John” (@javelinbk, @bluewater9)

"So if you've got someone, you want to tell them you love them, just get it said, don't wait" (@lennon-gal)

And honourable mention for the following stories:

Stalking John all over Liverpool until Ivan officially got them introduced (@only-a-northern-soul)

‘He’s been telling himself and the whole world that nobody cared about writing songs and his music before he met John. He knew George Harrison.’ (@greatsaladavenue)

Quitting his job to commit to the band aka explicitly picking John over his father (@adriansfrombrooklyn)

Writing "Here, There, and Everywhere" by John's pool while waiting for him to wake up and write with him alone in his attic (@aint-that-kind-of-blog-bruv)

Taking the one photo of him and john from that night with the cursed pictures with jane and then blowing it up and hanging it in his office at apple (@pauls1967moustache)

Taking LSD so he could join John in his potentially bad trip (@scurator)

The time he vaulted over a table because another man was touching John and Paul had to physically intervene (@scurator)

[lizzieisright]

“Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.” 

This is a famous quote from the Brooklyn 99, and I love it. 

The world does become a better, more interesting place - for you and for others. 

You see, I'm a boring gay - you can't really tell because I look straight-passing. But I need to compensate, so I'm also a loud gay - meaning once we know each other I won't shut the fuck up about loving women when opportunity presents itself.

And I came out as bi at 13 - you can say it was a soft launch - and not a lot of my classmates really cared. A lot of stuff happened and I didn't focus on this part of my life, but then the year 10 happened (year 12 in British system) and oh boy I couldn't shut up.

Which is kinda hilarious if you know that: a) I live in a homophobic country b) all my classmates were straight and kinda homophobic and c) I have zero sense of self-preservation.

I decided I had nothing to lose back then and I got loud again - this time I kinda knew I had a stronger preference for girls (spoiler alert: I'm a lesbian) and I refused to let my straight friends be comfortable if it meant I had to tone it down. 

And my straight friends had to deal with it - with their homophobia, their stereotypes and assumptions. They had to make peace with me, because being around me was literally inescapable: we were classmates and there were only 10 of us, and 5 of us in a closer circle. So they listened to gay jokes, to thirsts after Rihanna, to why parades are important. 

And now, 10 years later, I have 4 straight traditional women as my closest friends who don't know what outing means and how lesbians have sex because it's not part of their life, but they're accepting and supportive, and I know they will defend queers when it matters. (cough my friend accidentally outing me to her family to prove that gays are okay and just because I'm gay doesn't mean she'll stop being my friend cough it fucking worked)

And I know, if I wasn't loud, if I wasn't thirsting after women out loud, if I didn't answer a lot of their - sometimes offensive out of ignorance - questions, they'd have been as homophobic as possible. And they would raise their kids in homophobic environment, or they wouldn't know how to deal with their kids being queer. But because I was/am loud about being gay, they will know how to handle it. Or, at least, they will have me to talk to about it. 

So be loud. Be proud. You may not change the whole world, but you may change the whole world for someone. 

Some honourable quotes from my friends:

“That's not very christian of you.” My best friend when I came out as a lesbian. (It was a joke, obv, but it's even funnier because this friend is very christian)

“We will see what nickname you'll get when you get a girlfriend.” My other friend (and a namesake) when I made fun of the nickname she got from her fiance. (because we're namesakes, we get the same nicknames). Said in front of her fiance.

“When will you two fuck?” Out of nowhere, when I was talking about my crush. + The same friend crying happy tears when I came out as a lesbian because “you must feel so relieved to finally know your truth”.

“Oh, [my nickname] is at it again.” All of them, collectively, when I accidentally stare at a girl. It happens. I'm embarrassed. 

[kindestofkings]

a mastermind [1]

ryan mcmahon x reader

faceclaim:phoebe bridgers

authors note: k so this is kinda an all over the place fic but I had a lot of fun making it so ENJOY! @orangeinecstasy a fellow ryan appreciator, thanks for the brainstorming 🫡

2020

yourusername

liked by rass75 and others

yourusername oi have you listened to NOACF yet?? theres something special in tracks 8,9,10 and 17 or should I say someone 👀

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1975fan1 wow can't believe the 1975 broke their own no collabs rule for matty's girl of the week

yourusername you seeing this ratty? Im your girl of the week 😍😍 trumanblack wait JUST one week?? yourusername yeah so short! better cheat on me quick xxx 1975adam I just dont get you two...

rass75 celebration pints?

yourusername like you need any excuse hahah

trumanblack they're ALL special tracks thank you very much.

1975_fanbase the tumblr gays just overloaded thanks!

trumanblack anything for the cause 👍👍👍

ynfan1 really not a 1975 fan but jesus christ 2005 is so amazing, I just bought the album!

bedfordanes75 studio time was sick can we please do it again

yourusername I do need a producer for my next album...

ryanmcmahon_15 just added to their story!

replies:

elijahhewson haha man you good? bobbyskeetz new day same crush inhalerfan1 omg you being a yn is everything!

2022

the1975

liked by yourusername and others

the1975 I'm in love with you. out now.

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rass75 🖤🖤

yourusername its good to be back boys

pollymoney so right I am in love with yourusername

yourusername stop im blushin so hard rn heheh

trumanblack loser

yourusername lover* trumanblack eh alright then

ynhealytruther ahhh I missed you guys so much, such a hot couple

1975fan1 since when have they confirmed they're dating??

ynhealytruther

liked by ynfan2 and others

ynhealytruther this is confirmation right?? they HAVE to be dating

view all other comments

ynfan1 ah I really hope not he's kinda old for her no?

1975fan2 yeah tbf it is like 10 years or something...

1975fan1 I hope so they are the definition of bi panic

1975fan2 ew hope not shes kinda ugly

ynhealytruther absolutely no yn slander excepted here! move on with your hate

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername someone just said stop writing songs about sad things and blowjobs. best joke I've ever heard!

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trumanblack over my dead boy

yourusername pleaseeee dont tempt me with a good time 😍

1975fan1 are you guys dating?? just confirm it already

1975fan2 class music video!!

ynfan1 please date someone else, hes too old for you!!

bobbyskeetz just added to their story!

man's (celeb) crush is in a relationship (we think) so he's turning to the drink 😔

replies:

inhalerfan1 its yourusername isn't. cause same joshjenkinson_ cause there was defo a chance before hand!

ynfanclub

liked by ynhealytruther and others

ynfanclub guys I'm at yourusernames's secret session ah! look this is her face when people asked if she was dating matty. adorble!!! and THEN HE CAME OUT AND THEY SANG JESUS CHRIST 2005

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ynhealytruther oh what a day !!!

ynhealytruther my literal parents

ynfan1 hes literal so old ewww

trumanblack

liked by yourusername and others

trumanblack just friends.

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yourusername dw guys he checked my id AND sang robbers beforehand !!

rass75 have you two ever been serious about anything in your lives? yourusername what do you mean I'm taking this job of being matthew healy's controversially young alleged girlfriend VERY SERIOUSLY 😤 trumanblack serious is my middle name mate 😍🔥🤠😎 rass75 why did I even ask....

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername Ireland I am in you. and loving you as per usual! my (second) favourite Irish artist asked me to stop by at his home gig 😢 so so honoured andrew <3

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ynfan1 I cant believe this, I'M GOING TO HIS SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

lucydacus parents.

ynfan2 you said it.

inhalerfan1 bestie for research purposes I need to know who's your fav??

yourusername hmmm research purposes you say .... 🤔 inhalerfan1 ahhh hi omgomgomgomg hello

bobbyskeetz huh @ryanmcmahon_15 see this?

yourusername just added to their story!

replies:

inhalerfan1 OH FUCK YES I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!! inhalerfan1 thank you for answering my question &lt;3 elijahhewson honoured! are you here long? we've a drummer who's a big fan of yours, we could all link up for drinks ? ↳ hi! sounds so fun, I'm here till saturday actually so i've got time! presuming you guys know the best spot for a pint 👀 ↳ elijahhewson sir mcmahon knows the place!

joshjenkinson_ just added to their story!

replies:

ryanmcmahon_15 im never coming down from this. and I'll never stop talking about it

elijahhewson still havent recovered from the incredibly girlish scream he let out hahah

bobbyskeetz a king, ill never question him again

yourusername

liked by trumanblack and others

yourusername psa: offically go ON THE RECORD that I am not dating anyone of these wonderful human beings that are my friends. although they are very beautiful and even hotter, we're all just a homies that are a lil bit fruity 💅

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trumanblack wait what?? I thought we were married? what am I telling the kids ???

yourusername tell em their mother is in her hot girl era and their dad's a LOSER

bedfordanes75 you are such a mystery, how does your brain work 🤔

ynhealytruther nooooooo NO say sike rn RIGHT NOW

1975fan1 yay! theres still a chance 😎

inhalerfan1 oh this is really feeding my delusions hehehe

yourusername just added to their story!

y'all are gonna be so proud I'm off to go SOCIALISE with NEW people ahh 🔥🔥

replies:

trumanblack ooh is this the drinks with bono's sons band? ↳ yourusername you betcha, trading in the nepo baby in my life for a newer model xx rass75 I cannot believe you manifested this. go get that celeb crush ↳ yourusername welll if you insist ! ynfan1 you are soooooo me coded hahahha

AHH how we doing?? Go read part two please 🫶🏼

part 2

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

December Drabbles

Prompt 11: Tradition

Characters: .....SEBEPPY I'm sorry I'm not reorganizing my prompt list to space out the Sebek and Epel stuff

-----------------------------------------------

".....You...what?"

Sebek's expression only made Epel's grin grow wider.

"Every year, everyone in the town gathers at town hall t'find the rotten apple ornament on the tree that the mayor hides. First person t'find it gets t'be Uncle Marley's tastetester for the community feast AND gets first choice of the gifts under the tree."

Sebek looked baffled, bringing a hand up to his head in bewilderment. "But it's an apple on a pine tree.....does that not stand out??"

Epel just grinned and grabbed his hand in both of his, pulling him closer to the mass of people waiting outside of town hall.

"Guess you're gonna have to see!"

There was a palpable excitement in the air. Even with many of the residents being more mature in age, there was child like enthusiasm that Sebek found himself trying to adjust to.

The mayor stood in front of the crowd, holding the small rotten apple ornament. Sebek ducked down to speak to Epel.

"I thought the mayor was meant to hide the apple ornament, why is he holding it?"

Epel paused and pouted a bit as he tried to step by another person "I can' even see the may'r yet, I dunno what he's doin'", before continuing his pursuit to make it to the front of the crowd. Sebek followed close behind, trying to be wary of the people around him. He barely noticed that he and Epel had stumbled to the front, though once he did he ducked down, not wanting to inhibit anyone from seeing what was going on. No sooner had he squatted to balance on the balls of his feet before the mayor spoke up jollily.

"Evenin' y'all! I know yer all chompin' at the bit to get things rollin' but as y'all know little Epel Felmier's got his friend over for the holidays-"

Epel's face flared red at his name being called out, and to the fact Sebek was being singled out along with him, but he had no time to protest or stop the mayor as chuckles rang out around him and a few people from the community cheered.

The mayor continued, speaking over the crowd. " 'nd I couldn't think of a better way to welcome Sebek 'nd teach'im how we do things here in Harveston than to have 'm be the one to kick off our annual tradition."

Sebek's eyes widened a bit, meeting the mayors excited look, and pointed to himself.

"....You want...me to hide the apple on the tree? I would be honoured to partake in your traditions, be as strange as they may be to me."

Epel elbowed him a bit, still embarrassed from earlier, but the mayor beamed in response.

"Come on in then young'n, I'll show ya where it was last year so y'don't put it in the same place."

Sebek straightened up a bit and glanced at Epel over his shoulder as he followed the mayor into town hall, shooting him a wide grin.

-----------------------------------------------

Once inside and the rules explained, the mayor watched Sebek hold the ornament at a few different heights against his chest. He nodded to himself once he got it to a particular point, then walked around the tree to find another ornament to hide the apple behind. At first, the mayor was confused as to why Sebek was so adamant about the height he held it at.

That was until he saw Epel's huge grin at having found the apple, and he realized that Sebek had put it right at eye level for his smaller friend.

The mayor chuckled to himself as he watched the two boys talk animatedly to each other, Sebek feigning ignorance as to how quickly Epel was able to find the ornament.

His wife came up to him, linking her arm in his and watching them for a moment with him, chuckling softly.

"I remember when we were young and in love. God bless their hearts."

The mayor looked down at her, then back at the boys, a blank expression on his face.

"They're gay?"

"Oh heavens to betsy, Charles 'course they are!"

[capseycartwright]

so. i love the ao3 tags bot and every time i read their tweets i think ‘this would make a fun prompt list someone should make it’ and i haven’t seen it so i decided to make it myself. so. here we are. 

this is an ✨ ao3 tag bot prompt list ✨with some of the tags that made me honk the most and i think would make deeply funny ficlets. enjoy. 

yearning and horny, aka my only two moods

more tender handholding than anticipated

everybody is traumatised

just get a room

bros who fuck

hell someone give me a hug

trigger warning: gay little monkeys

being bad at understanding feelings pt.2555194815

this boy can fit so many cheesy tropes

basically losing my religion but make it gay

best friends (who kiss sometimes or whatever)

is it gay to marry your gay friend to save money on taxes? you're also gay too btw

peak romance AND peak stupidity

even though this is porn they’re still in love, so mark that down

there’s nothing platonic about it

so much gay panic that they just end up helplessly pining for each other

does it count as voyeurism if god is watching?

your honour, they're so gay

(lizzo voice) it's about damn time

choking, but not the sexy kind

stuffed animals as a love language

sappy to horny back to sappy again aka the cycle of life

its fake dating while being unaware that you are soulmates

what are the ethical implications of pretending to be engaged to a comatose man?

gardens as vehicles for realizing you have a huge crush on your best friend

he’s a lil pathetic in this ngl, but that’s how i like my men

copious amounts of dramatic bastard behaviour

just a hint of mommy issues but this ain't about that

the inherent eroticism of going to bed early

he's so dense, someone smack him in the head

[just-1other-nerd]

Good Omens live blog ep. 1

The introduction is great, the first friendly banter between them is delivering even though it's so simple

Crowley being a Queen fan, I approve, hope the soundtrack stays this good. Aziraphale being a sushi fan, I approve very much. Seems like both of them have great taste

Both of them being on earth since the beginning is just so funny to me, like why these two idiots?

In the abby or whatever it is, there's the laocoon group, and it feels so random and yet it fits

Ah yes, "A", "B" and "the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Prince of This World and Lord of Darkness" such beautiful and equally traditional names...

They kept contact the whole time? They kinda navigated through all those plans of both sides together? And Crowley knows exactly what Aziraphale likes? They regularly have lunch together? Aziraphale remembering what they had to eat back then? The way Crowley is looking at Aziraphale while he finishes eating? Getting drunk together for 6 hours? Crowley just knows exactly which buttons to push but in such a charming way? Them scheming together to keep things as they are? If that isn't husband behaviour, then I don't know what is

The 4th wall break cought me off guard

I adore the car

Their chemistry is too good!!!

That lullaby was so dark but that just made it so funny

How they both try to influence the wrong boy, the irony!

I love the shot of them and the escalators, I watched it like 4 times

Thank the heavens that Crowley got a haircut

The whole illusionist bit has me dying

"Dog" how creative...

"Is it my fault they never check-up?" Crowley is a confirmed disaster gay who just bullshitted his way through his job by taking credit for human achievements

"I know what you smell like"?! Excuse me?! They're definitely married your honour!

So that's it for the 1st episode. See you when I do the next one

[denimbex1986]

"I feel great, you know; I'm here with my two sisters and my best friend so that makes it special, you know - when you've got your family here. So yeah, I'm delighted with myself."

"Yeah, this is a bit of - this is custom Vivienne Westwood. I adore her; I just think she's one of our, our greatest ever geniuses so I was really thrilled to be, to be wearing her."

"Oh yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, well you go in and they - you tell them your ideas and they go: "No." No, they don't; that's actually not true - they're incredibly collaborative. I love all that stuff - I've always loved clothes, so part - a part of my job is to dress up, you know, and, you know, for a character, but it's also, I don't know, it's really fun; menswear has got much more, more fun now - you used to just have to wear a black tie the whole time time - so it's nice to have a bit of, you know, a bit of - let your creative juices flow."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really fun that; it's really lovely because you know, it is a bit weird sometimes when, you know, you don't know who's gonna get nominated and who isn't going to get nominated, and, you know, I suspect that people don't really remember after a ye - two months later; they're like: "Huh? I don't remember." But on the day, it's lovely. And you know, it sounds like maybe a bit of a cliche, but the nomination is really lovely, you know, because you just feel like your, you work has been seen. And so when you have a great time, with Dakota Fanning particularly; I absolutely adored working with her, and so to see her honoured this evening, you know, everybody loves Dakota Fanning. She's an icon. Yeah, she's an icon."

"...Do you know about that photograph; that photograph - every other boy in that photo, photograph was wearing heels. I looked like the small - people said it was like when, when, when the Shire got a Zara; it was one of the best things ever. But I particularly look so tiny because I'm wearing flats, and those boys if you look carefully, they had little - I wouldn't say they had lifts, I wouldn't, I wouldn't - they were, they were, you know - they were heeled. They were heeled boys. But we all did look tiny, but particularly little Scotty here, I was like "Jeez." It was like I'd won a competition. But anyway."

"Yes, we did; we were summoned by Kylie. We were so excited. We were like: "We can't let down the gays - we've gotta go there." So we did. We were, we were so scared that we were going to drop her - you can't drop Kylie Minogue - but we didn't. It was so - it was, it was a real honour. It was so fun. You know, it's kind of crazy all that stuff that happens but no better person than to do it with than Jonny. He's, he's just the best boy; I love him dearly."

"I'm delighted to talk about Knives Out 3, because I had the most fun on Knives Out 3. You know, it's got a cast of real, genuine legends in there; Kerry Washington, Glenn Close, Josh O'Connor, Josh Brolin, Jeremy Renner - oh my God - so many other people; Daniel Craig obviously."

"Yeah - 'You guys don't mess this one up.' But it's so fun, and we all had a real dreamy, dreamy time, and I think it'll be really, really special, so yeah - watch out."

[m34gs]

Your trademark is: horror movies (when will those two gay men kiss in the disgusting murder bathroom?), Spud, and Idia!

(based on this post)

LOL I love what you chose for me!

Horror movies are great :D When will they kiss indeed...(in my heart they're already married!!!)

Spud approves that he is on the list. He states he will allow you the great honour of worshipping him from sun-up to sun-down.

Lol, and Idia, my fave introverted gamer boy who is also obsessed with cats (he's just like me fr ahaha)

Thank you for the ask friend! It's always fun to hear what makes other people think of me!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Brigitte Empire! A writer for the Daily Telegraph and prospective British ex-pat who could use your clicks and attention - and money, if you can afford it! Today, she's unpacking a little of the British Empire's colonial legacy.

And while I have your attention, would you like to talk about why mere gayness is seen as such a threat to colonial power structures?

You exist on Tumblr, you've seen this:

...or maybe this version:

Gayness has been criminalized for so long it's gone memetic, and it's a badge of honour. Alright, you're gonna make my very existence illegal, I'm gonna do whatever I want. Thanks, homophobes!

But if we rewind to Ancient Greece and Rome - some of the original, big-time conquerors of the world - two dudes banging was part of the accepted social structure and no threat. Indeed, if you watch through Brigitte up there, quite a few of those tribal societies grant men or masculine people quite a lot of gender fluidity and sexual freedom. "Male privilege" includes self-determination, even when that extends to kicking traditional masculine ideals to the curb.

At the same time, women and feminine people tend to be ignored and erased, unless they're masculine enough to be parsed as men (that's a compliment!). History is written by the victors, the colonizers, and all of them were patriarchal as hell. Why it shook out that way is fodder for endless speculation - and politicization, depending on whether you prefer to glorify the male penetrative impulse, demonize it, or deconstruct it - but it obviously did and we've been living with the consequences for centuries. As it stands, the queer landscape available for colonial exploitation is incredibly diverse, but the perceived-male aspects of it (including, nonsensically, transwomen) get more play and more flack.

To get out there and start inflicting your diseased culture on everyone else - even if it kills them - you need truly toxic level of self-confidence.

"Cancer? What're you talking about? That's just ME!"

"And, believe me, it's an improvement. Because I'm fuckin' AWESOME! Ego, the Living Planet, will ALWAYS serve you your Blizzard upside down!"

If you think you have the right to yeet other cultures right out of existence and replace them with your own, your culture - alone - must be the best one. If the others have anything worth keeping, you'll add their uniqueness to your own...

Boy, do we like colonizer villains! Kinda scared someone's gonna roll up and feed us our own medicine, aren't we?

...but most of that stuff can go. It's not that you're behaving like cancer cells, it's more like... Pesticide! You want to be Monsanto, and inflict your specific flavour of mutant grass worldwide. Everyone needs to be eating the good stuff. It will save lives. So you need everyone to understand that the ecosystems you're wiping out to plant it are not worth having.

What's that? A "rain forest"? Who needs it?!

The easiest way to do that is to send some explorers and have them explain that the people already living in your desired colony are doing things differently, and wrong, and they need your help. They are morally-degenerate, we are morally-upright, and we can fix them!

And this is, unfortunately, still where all the old colonizers are coming from in trying to reign in the worst damages done to their former colonies, only these days the colonies aren't having it.

Gee, I wonder why.

Back in the golden age, tribal warfare, slavery, the abuses of preexisting empires, and a lack of super cool technology were all easy justifications. You didn't necessarily have to fix them, you just had to say you were, and that was cover for whatever else you wanted to do, including more warfare, slavery, abuse and theft. Gayness in and of itself wasn't a big deal to ancient Greeks and Romans, but they still held themselves much more civilized than the disorganized gayness they found in the Celtic tribes on those savage islands across the channel.

Those savage islands did not stop being gay and disorganized, even at the height of their colonial expansion, when such behaviour was officially punishable by imprisonment and death. Yet, Shaka Zulu didn't send a telegram after hearing about the Cleveland Street Scandal and say, "Hey, Victoria? Shame about that homosexual menace corrupting your whole government. Tell ya what, I'll be over with all my troops on the next boat, and we'll 'save' you from yourselves, all right? No-no, no need to thank me. Just returning the favour. Ha-ha. Cheers!"

Gayness has been here a long time, it's not going away, and empires have rolled along just fine while being variously gay AF. They normalize it, they ignore it, and they cover it up, as needed. Above a certain social standing, you can do whatever you want and we'll bend over backwards to forgive it. That's still how it is today, or else Prince Andrew and all of Epstein's powerful friends would be rotting in jail instead of going on about their influential lives. Colonial power structures don't really care about two similar sets of genitals banging together, or any kind of sexual deviancy at all. What they cannot abide is people refusing to stay in their place.

Queen Victoria wouldn't stand for a cadre of Zulu warriors occupying London no matter how gay it was, because white people (except the Irish) are inherently superior and deserve to rule the world. And we've developed many scientific theories based on things like skull shape and melanin production that prove it! SO THERE!

Science is NOT political. You can't politicize this stuff, IT IS SCIENCE!

Criminalizing homosexuality and gender fluidity all comes down to one thing: visible minorities are the easiest to marginalize, and marginalized people are the easiest to exploit. If you are below a certain social standing, it behooves your betters to hit you with as many labels as possible that indicate you belong there. Ideally, you will stop looking like a person deserving of human rights, and start to resemble a problem that needs a solution. Not necessarily a final solution, but that is on the table for those of you who aren't willing to settle down and be managed.

Let's go back to the pesticide metaphor. Say you're Monsanto, and you want the world to be covered in your corn. You know what would really help you rip up a variety of diverse ecosystems? An evil plant.

(I'm gay. I'm crime.)

Ideally, something hardy, ubiquitous, recognizable, and just common enough that you're liable to find one or two in any field, growing wild and free. Then, wherever you want to grow your corn, you just have to look for the plant.

THERE IT IS! GET 'EM!

And if someone should happen to see some evil plants growing amidst your awesome corn...

(I'm gay, but British aristocracy. I'm not crime!)

Nuh-uh, no you didn't.

(This one got pulled up and thrown away because it wouldn't shut up, and it was pointing out more evil plants.)

And if, in the future, you wanted to keep burning ecosystems down with impunity, you could always take back all you said about the plant being evil, call it "oppressed" instead, and make another pass with the flamethrower to "save" it. You know, if any of your bridges are intact after a thousand years of flames, and you're still desperate to rule the world, you could try.

It's not working very well, but some of the people living in these damaged ecosystems have internalized the fact that the plants are evil (and a criminal underclass is useful), and the continued use of flamethrowers is not working out so hot either.

Ultimately, queerness was criminalized as a convenient excuse. While it worked, the colonizers overplayed their hands so badly that they no longer have the authority to de-criminalize it. It's not a real threat. It's not logical, it's not disprovable (you can't prove a negative), and it will persist as long as it's convenient to have an underclass to exploit. With capitalism calling the shots, I have no idea how we're going to fix this.

But you already have some great advice to follow if your very existence is a crime.

[like and reblog if you want more like this, I am paying attention!]

[stayconnecteed]

if you thought, even for a moment, that I had literally "no words" then i'm going to act offended as hell. my problem is that the only thing i can think about rn is "hekwbekwbejbeej" and it's not even accurate. it's your fault, but thank you 🤭

first of all, i do have some words, and lyra is my witness because i literally spammed her while reading. and there's no second of all because i'm going to comment over this fic. here we go:

thank u, changbin, for the truth or dare idea, we love you, we cherish you a lot. shush seungmin just because you offered other options and that's not okay.

nonono but then "boring!" / "only if you ask boring questions". GOD DAMN. that dialogue itself deserves an award. omg. got me 😱 in a good way. i was like TELL 'EM MINHO!! omg.

"how many people in this room have you kissed" and i was counting myself even before reading. mmm, mc, minho, jisung, hyunjin aaand?? changbin's reaction to felix's question got me super excited (i literally wrote CHANGLIX MY CHANGLIX to lyra) BUT IT WASN'T???? 😤

and then i sent her a pic of my FACE in absolutely DISBELIEF because that FUCKING HYUNIN KISS OH MY GOD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK i almost combust. tbh i spent all the fic with my mouth ajar, but it's your effect so it's just normal at this point heksbdjsbe

oh, the picture, may. OH. THE. PICTURE. MAY. AND THE FUCKING COLLECTIVE KISS?!?!??!!??!?!?! JESUS CHRIST

i have to admit one thing. the way you describe hyunjin's kisses is the most absolute filthy, soft and mouth-watering effect i've ever read in my whole fucking life. i swear.

"if they start making out right now, they will not stop" i would probably not either HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? but i love love love the control minho has over them when they're so so lost into each other oh my god

this is like a party. everyone's hard, everyone's getting a kiss and i'm the fucking guest of honour because i'm able rato read it god damn. you see, i'm not a fan of orgies (idk if that's the correct plural of orgy) but today, reading this fic, i was like "you know what, fuck it. i'm into it now" but just because you wrote it. "if may's the author, i automatically like it- i love it even". it's may's effect. you don't care what she's writing about, you know it's going to be the best thing you've read so far.

we're not talking about how mc looked minho before moving towards changbin because i'm a weak woman and those power games just end me nskwbdjsbdjd no but seriously "genuine adoration"?? changbin is the standard my guys. do not expect anything less. i won't.

and i thought felix was the inoffensive one here. i truly was mistaken. i'm happy i was mistaken. "you won't mind if i start with you"???? jesus. he's the one talking about the 5star michelin stuff in god's menu, he cooks and serves the fucking 5star menu. felix, amor, you can start whenever you want, with the person you like. i swear. that was 🥵🥵🥵

i want to corrupt minho. i want to watch him realise he's losing control and see how he realises he's loving every second

hdkwbdjjdksbd you didn't read that.

and meanwhile ji and mc are quite literally eating each other alive right then and there IT WAS CHAN!?!?!?! ALL THIS TIME?!?!?!?! HUH- i love it. i love it because i didn't expect it and i love when i read these surprises (i also want to write gay sex thanks to that kiss bit nevermind)

"his sweet little boy. his sweet little nasty boy" okay???? hello??? where can i get that quote TATTOOED ON MY SKIN?!?!?!?!?

i fucking needed two hours and now i need a whole month of vacation to get over the fact i just read "let me remind them all who do you belong to". i literally STOPPED BREATHING. i was like THIS IS PEAK LITERATURE. oh my fucking god. and then he's like fkwbdkjd seven minutes dkwbdksbek only five minutes TAKE YOUR TIME BOY OH GOD

that mirror / bathroom sex was the hottest thing i've read this year and I HAVE NO WORDS. i was like "well minho ofc she's wet WHAT DID YOU FUCKING EXPECTED??? also she's not the only one because my sis, i am too" and HOW NOT TO???? also "the rest you're going to keep it for me" MINHO JESUS CHRIST

but it ended too quickly 😔 i was left with existential questions and a big ass crisis about my life. what about chan and felix?? i need info because omg what if felix was domming chan I COULD ACTUALLY CRY and and and THEIR REACTIONS??? i know i just know that they heard everything. the bathroom was too close not to. and they were like "ha ha let's do some shots" no mi amor what the hell are you talking about??

ignore this last paragraph because it's just selfish talking. MAY MAY MAY i love you. i admire you a lot, you know it. i talked with lyra about how everytime we receive your notifications we just leave whatever we're doing and run to read you. it's not the first time we're chatting and i receive a "skzms tagged you..." (because OFC i have you notifs activated) and i warn lyra and we both leave the chat to read you. it's a canon event, it's our roman empire. so the only thing i can say is thank you for taking your time and dedicate a part of your life to write, it's always a pleasure and an honour to read your masterpieces 💗

*⑅୨୧* sharing is caring

♡ˎˊ˗ bonus chapter - truth or dare

ot8 x reader (x minsung) I recommend reading the series before this or you will be very confused lol

summary: you, jisung, minho and the rest of the boys get drunk. changbin suggests spin the bottle. the bottle gets spun, questions get asked, dares get made and things get a little out of hand – not just for the three of you

word count: 7.1k words

author's note: okay so ... this is not an orgy. but everyone's making out. well, not everyone either, but like almost everyone. definitely everyone who has made out before. someone once said "i was hoping this would turn into a whole poly situation" and while this is not yet that, it's more. this is pure hedonism, absolutely unhinged horniness. im sorry or you're welcome, depending on how you feel.

warnings: slightly drunk making out; so much voyeurism and exhibitionism; implicit but no explicit consent, everyone loves it, but nobody asks; mxm action everywhere; dry humping; lots of making out; dom/sub dynamics; unsolicited but appreciated nudes (don't ask); unprotected (bathroom) sex

series masterlist // skzms' general masterlist

“Truth or dare!” Changbin yells over the music, and Minho groans beside you. Jisung on your other side giggles, your hands intertwined in your lap, his knee knocking against yours gently as he fidgets with the rings on your fingers. Someone throws a sofa cushion at Changbin, nearly knocking over three soju bottles on from the side table. You’re pretty sure it’s Jeongin.

“Can we not just watch something, like we usually do?” Seungmin questions, deadpan, from his corner of the sofa.

But Changbin shakes his head, his eyes hooded with tipsiness.

“We always watch something, let’s do something more fun!”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes but slips off the sofa and sits on the floor next to Jisung as Changbin places a bottle in the haphazard circle that the members are forming.

“What could we possibly ask each other? We have been living together for 6 years,” he complains, and Changbin narrows his eyes.

“Literally a year ago you were surprised to find out that Felix’s mom was an interior designer,” he says pointedly, “clearly, we don’t know shit about each other.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes again but doesn’t fight him, only slightly leans into Jisung next to him, giving him a smile and knocking his shoulder against his. When he spots Felix walking up to them, his face lights up, and he pats the spot on the floor next to him. Felix smiles at him and sits down, drapes his legs over Hyunjin’s lap readily.

You can feel Minho’s presence behind you, his legs crossed in front of him, and you turn slightly, studying him as he watches Hyunjin and Felix. His handsome face, looking like it was carved by the gods, calm, eyes deep and dark and observant. There’s a slight flush to his cheeks from the alcohol, and you want to kiss every inch of it, follow it down his neck to where it disappears underneath his plain black shirt. When he looks down at you, his lips tug into a tender smile, one of his hands coming to your back, lightly running his palm up and down your spine. You hum and lean into his touch, and he presses a kiss to your temple.

The rest of the members hesitantly join you on the floor, Chan plopping down next to Changbin, Seungmin sitting down next to Minho and Jeongin finding a spot between Chan and Seungmin.

Jeongin leans back against the sofa and takes a sip of his drink, raising an eyebrow at Changbin.

“Go on then, Changbin-hyung.”

Changbin beams at him tipsily and reaches forward, spinning the bottle harshly. It clacks over the linoleum until it comes to rest on Felix.

“Truth or Dare?” Changbin asks, a conspiratorial giddiness in his voice, and Felix deliberates only for a second, before he chooses.

“Truth.”

“Boring!” Changbin exclaims with a pout.

Minho scoffs next to you, taking a swig from his bottle.

“Only if you ask boring questions.”

Changbin glares at him and gestures at him grandly.

“You go ahead then, if you’re so smart.”

Minho rolls his eyes but looks over at Felix, who’s already staring at him. He lets the eye contact drag out for another few seconds, Felix looking back at him unflinchingly, before he finally asks his question.

“How many people in this room have you kissed?”

Chan chokes on his spit slightly, but nobody else seems particularly bothered. Changbin blushes, his eyes fixed on Felix.

“Five,” Felix says and takes a drink.

“Five?!” Jeongin exclaims in disbelief.

You do a quick count. Minho, Jisung, Hyunjin, you, … Who was number 5? Jisung next to you seems to come to the same conclusion about three seconds later, whipping his head over to Felix with curiosity written all over his features. Minho behind you breathes out a huh, as if he just heard the most interesting fact in the world.

“That was my turn,” Felix shrugs nonchalantly and reaches forward, spinning the bottle again. This time it lands on Changbin.

“Changbin-hyung,” Felix drawls out, his voice almost smoky, “truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he says, his giddiness sounding more like nervousness now, and Felix purses his lips, a glint of humour in his eyes.

“I thought it was boring?” he quips. Changbin flushes hotter.

“Shut up, just … ask your question,” he says and Felix giggles, deliberates for a second. He grins wickedly when he comes to a conclusion.

“Changbin-hyung, when was the last time you got laid?”

Changbin’s eyes widen and briefly flicker over to you, then to Minho, before he looks back at Felix. He blinks a few times before he straightens his back, trying to look unaffected. Minho next to you slips his hand under your shirt, dragging his blunt nails over the skin of your back. You shiver and you know he’s smiling.

“A couple weeks ago,” Changbin states, his voice only wavering a little bit, and reaches out for the bottle.

Felix smirks knowingly.

“Who was it?”

Changbin avoids his eyes and shakes his head, the tips of his ears even redder.

“You only get one question.”

Changbin reaches out for the bottle, but before he can reach it, Jeongin snatches it up, plucking it straight from the middle of the circle. He wields it like a weapon when he points it at his members, a strange determination in his eyes.

“Actually, I have a question. Take a drink if you’ve ever kissed a member.”

“Hey,” Changbin yells, “don’t hijack my game.”

Jeongin glares at him.

“I think this is much more interesting, actually,” he turns back to the room. “So?”

Hyunjin shrugs first and takes a drink, followed by Felix, then Minho, Jisung and you. There’s a moment of hesitation before Chan slowly brings his bottle to his lips, and Jeongin’s eyes nearly bug out of his head.

“You?!” He breathes out. Chan grimaces and shrugs.

Then next to him, quietly, Seungmin takes a drink and Jeongin’s mouth falls open.

“How the fuck have I not heard about this?!” he exclaims, and Seungmin just shrugs. His face is composed, but there’s a nervous tension in his shoulders and the tips of his ears are burning. He takes another long drink for good measure, and you think he’s onto something and also take another big gulp of your drink – this is shaping up to be an evening you can’t get through sober.

Jeongin is frozen for a second, his eyebrows furrowed, as if deep in thought. But he doesn’t elaborate, only gives Seungmin and Chan another look, before he quietly places the bottle back onto the floor. Changbin looks at him warily, but Jeongin gestures for him to spin it. So Changbin does.

It lands square on Hyunjin this time, who’s leaning back on his hands, the picture of relaxation.

“Dare,” he says with a brilliant grin, without even waiting for Changbin to ask him. Changbin gnaws on his bottom lip, but then shakes his head and murmurs a quiet fuck it.

“Kiss the most attractive person in the room,” Changbin announces, and Jeongin stares at him as if he’s grown a second head. Hyunjin whines.

“How?! Everyone here is hot, I would have to kiss everyone.”

Changbin squirms where he’s sitting, looking like he suddenly regrets his decision.

“I don’t fucking know, figure something out,” he spits out nervously, and Hyunjin lets his eyes drag across the faces of his members. He looks at Minho, then you, then Jisung, and finally at Felix. The latter’s eyes widen before he leans in and whispers something in Hyunjin’s ear. Hyunjin giggles and nods enthusiastically, before swinging his legs behind him and getting onto all fours. His eyes zero in on Jeongin, and then he’s crossing the circle.

You can pinpoint the exact moment when Jeongin realises where Hyunjin is headed, his eyes widening in panic, his back straightening against the sofa behind him. When Hyunjin reaches him and places his hands on Jeongin’s thighs, peering at him through his lashes, Jeongin sucks in a breath. His eyes don’t leave Hyunjin’s, flickering down only briefly when Hyunjin’s tongue darts out to wet his lips.

“Do you want me to stop?” Hyunjin breathes out quietly, and it makes a shudder run down your spine. It feels like everyone is holding their breaths, waiting for Jeongin to answer.

Jeongin blinks at him a few times, and then he almost imperceptibly shakes his head. Hyunjin smiles at him and leans in, pressing his lips to Jeongin’s.

It’s innocent at first, Jeongin leaning into Hyunjin, chasing the gentle press of his lips against his. But then Hyunjin’s tongue slips into his mouth, and Jeongin whimpers, so quietly everyone else can barely hear it, and his hands skate up to cup Hyunjin’s face, pulling him deeper. Hyunjin’s fingers are digging into Jeongin’s thighs, one coming up to fist into his shirt. But before things can go any further, Hyunjin pulls away.

Jeongin is staring at him, pupils blown, his fingers coming up to touch his lips absentmindedly. Hyunjin’s blushing as well, but he just gives him a shy smile and turns around, crawling back to his place next to Felix, who grins and wiggles his eyebrows at him. But Hyunjin just presses his palms against his blushing cheeks, throws his hair back and leans forward, spinning the bottle, whose next victim is … Seungmin. The boy doesn’t even flinch, pointedly avoiding the flushed and trembling Jeongin next to him, just looks up at Hyunjin and says, “truth.”

Hyunjin cocks his head to the side.

“Top or bottom, Kim Seungmin? Sub or Dom?”

“Those are two questions,” Seungmin observes coldly and Hyunjin just shrugs, waving his hand around as if to say ‘technicalities’. Seungmin takes a deep breath in and sighs it out wearily.

“Fine. The answer is either,” he states calmly before he smirks slightly, “I’m versatile like that.”

Hyunjin purses his lips thoughtfully, then nods and wordlessly extends a high five to him. Seungmin stares at his hand, dumbfounded.

“Come on, Minnie,” Hyunjin whines, wiggling his hand in the air, “don’t leave me hanging. We’re a blessing to anyone who wants to fuck us, we should be proud.”

Seungmin groans, rubbing his hands over his eyes before he finally smacks his hand against Hyunjin’s, who rewards him a satisfied grin. Seungmin carefully avoids everyone’s eyes when he leans forward to spin the bottle. This time it lands on Minho.

“Dare,” Minho says, leaning back on his hands and eyeing Seungmin teasingly.

“Let’s get our heads out of the gutter,” Seungmin states, “send the last picture you took to the group chat.”

Minho just nods, pulls out his phone and unlocks it, tapping on his photo gallery. Suddenly, he laughs, high-pitched and giddy. You and Jisung immediately perk up, and you crane your head. Oh.

It’s a picture of you. And Jisung. Entirely naked, kissing in the sheets of Minho’s bed. There’s a sheen of sweat on Jisung’s chest, and your hair is sticking to your face. You can see … everything; Minho’s handprints on your ass, the scratches of your nails down Jisung’s abs. There’s a purple bite mark on Jisung’s shoulder and a matching one high on your neck. It’s the same one you had tried to cover up just hours before. All of that wouldn’t bother you, if it wasn’t for the fact that you could also see Jisung’ spent cock lying in a pool of his own cum and Minho’s release dripping out of you.

“At least crop it first,” Jisung sighs next to you, and you nod absentmindedly. God, but it’s a good picture. You have to ask Minho to send it to you.

Minho stares at the two of you with wide eyes.

“That’s your only concern?” he asks with a disbelieving smirk.

Jisung and you just nod, and Minho’s eyes darken considerably. Then he looks back at his phone, carefully duplicates the picture, crops the new one so you and Jisung are only visible from the chest up. He checks with you again but both you and Jisung smirk and nod and Minho shrugs, opening the group chat and hitting send.

The phones around the room all ding in unison.

Seungmin pulls his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it, and immediately drops it with a yelp. Jeongin next to him is holding his phone away from him as if it might explode, but his eyes are glued to the screen. Changbin’s blinking at the picture dumbly and Chan next to him is so red in the face you think he might combust, before he locks his phone and puts it back into his pocket gingerly. Hyunjin and Felix are staring at the picture unashamedly, Felix even goes so far as to zoom in, looking over at Minho and stage-whispering “can you send me the uncensored version?”.

“I did not ask you to send us unsolicited nudes,” Seungmin huffs out a frustrated sigh, but Minho just shrugs.

“It’s the last picture I took, what can I say. I even censored it.”

Seungmin gives him a glare and Minho chuckles darkly.

“Also, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before, right, puppy?”

Seungmin immediately flushes, eyelids fluttering nervously.

“Don’t call me that,” he mutters, “also I haven’t had to see Jisung naked yet, thank you very much.”

Jisung next to clutches his chest in mock betrayal.

“You should be so lucky, Kim Seungmin!”

Seungmin ignores him and turns away, and Minho just chuckles before he leans forward for the bottle. But instead of spinning it, he picks it up and flips it in the air once.

“Actually,” he drawls, eyes glued to Felix, who slowly blushes under his gaze. The smirk on Minho’s face tells you he’s up to no good, “I’d like to enforce the Jeongin rule. Collective dare. Everyone who has kissed, has to kiss again.”

Felix’ eyes widen before they narrow at him, and Minho chuckles evilly.

“Everyone?” Changbin asks, a smug look on his face. Minho whips over to Changbin and blinks twice.

“Sure,” he says carelessly, but you can feel his nails slide over the skin of your back, can see the tick of the muscles of his jaw.

But you’re a bit too distracted by the idea of having to kiss every single person in this room again to be very concerned with the hole Minho has dug himself. And watching Minho and Jisung do the same, in front of everyone … A nervous kind of arousal pools in your gut, makes your heart tremble in your chest.

Hyunjin shrugs and moves first, tipping his head onto his shoulder, placing a gentle hand on Felix’s cheek and pulling him in for a sweet, lingering, open-mouthed kiss. Felix is blushing when Hyunjin pulls back, his cheeks dusted a pretty pink, and Hyunjin wastes no time, just swivels his head and Jisung is right there, blinking at him once before he surges forwards and lets Hyunjin lick into his mouth filthily. You can feel yourself getting wetter with every swipe of Hyunjin’s tongue against Jisung’s, every drag of Jisung’s hand against Hyunjin’s thigh.

You rip your eyes away to see the rest of the boys stare at Hyunjin dumbly. Especially Jeongin, who looks like he’s seen a ghost, his pretty eyes narrowed in confusion.

All too soon, Hyunjin pulls away from Jisung, pats his flushed, chubby cheek and smiles at you. You smile back at him and get on all fours, crawling to close the small space between you as Hyunjin meets you halfway and threads his fingers into the hair at the back of your neck, pulling you into his familiar lips, the lips that would inevitably find yours almost every time he was drunk, his wandering hands sliding over your body as he relished in you in a way you had never experienced with anyone. His tongue is in your mouth, the taste of soju on your tastebuds, and you sink your teeth into his bottom lip, dragging a quiet moan from Hyunjin’s chest. When he pulls away, you make a sad little noise and Hyunjin chuckles, breathing out a soft later that makes Jisung suck in a breath next to you. You sit back down, Minho’s nails digging into the skin of your lower back, but you don’t turn around.

Because Hyunjin’s eyes are locked onto Minho’s as he crawls towards him. He doesn’t stop until his lips are hovering over Minho’s. His heartbeat is in his throat.

“This one’s … more of a promise,” he breathes out before his eyes flutter shut, and he brushes his lips against Minho’s, a featherlight touch that makes Minho’s breath catch in his throat. But then Hyunjin is gone again, and you can see Minho’s eyebrows furrow at the loss. Hyunjin returns to his spot and leans back on his hands, entirely uncaring of everyone seeing the obvious bulge in his pants. He shakes his hair out of his face with an elegant toss of his head, and you wish you could crawl over and suck him off right then and there. Jisung next to you huffs out like he wants the same. When you turn your head and your eyes lock with Jisung, Jisung instinctively licks his lips.

“If they start making out right now, they will not stop,” Minho muses and wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you into his lap and away from Jisung, who makes a low noise of complaint. You can feel Minho half hard against your ass when he digs his fingertips into the meat of your waist and slowly guides you towards Seungmin, who blinks at you dumbly, hesitantly, but nevertheless grabs you by the wrists and pulls you into his lap. The room is dead silent as Seungmin looks at you, and then he tips his chin forward and kisses you, and you press yourself against him, trapping him against the sofa and making him gasp into your mouth. He’s hesitant at the audience, almost like last time, but as soon as your tongue is in his mouth, one large hand wraps around your waist, the other slithers up your back and fists into your shirt, and then he’s kissing you so deeply you think you can feel him in your soul. There’s a dominance in this kiss that makes a throb bloom between your legs. Minho breathes out a chuckle that you know masks the jealous kind of arousal getting involved with the others always elicits, and you pull back, pressing a last kiss to the corner of Seungmin’s mouth before you look at Jeongin next to him.

Jeongin’s staring, wide-eyed, slack-jawed, one of his hands protectively over his crotch where you know he’s hard, if his blown pupils are anything to judge by. Still lingering in Seungmin’s lap, you reach out a hand towards him and catch him by the sleeve. You pull at it softly, the offer to decline in your eyes, but Jeongin scoots over to you, shoots a nervous look at Seungmin before his expression turns determined. He leans in, eyes fluttering shut as he rubs his sweet, soft nose against yours and then dips lower, catching your lower lip between his teeth. A soft giggle falls past your lips and he smiles, too, as he leans closer, kissing you again and again and again, and it reminds you so much of that night weeks ago when he had you caged underneath him, all giggles and teasing and shameless moans. His gentle fingers come to your chin and tip your face sideways enough for him to slip his tongue into your mouth and somewhere behind you someone breathes out a breathless, “Jesus Christ, Jeongin,” that makes Jeongin giggle into your mouth, as he drags you from Seungmin’s lap and into his own, as if you weigh nothing at all, his strong hands finding purchase on your hips when he pulls away and gives you a cheeky grin. You want him so badly it’s burning deep within you and all you want to ask is if he wants you, too, if he wants to do it all again sometime, but then he’s already shifting you out of his lap and towards Chan, who is staring at you wide-eyed, visibly uncomfortable.

You blink away the haze of arousal and give him a gentle smile.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Chan.”

Chan doesn’t respond as you crawl to close the distance to him, so you stop in front of him. His eyes are racing across the room, over the faces of his members, then meet yours and you nod, leaning forward enough to press just one gentle kiss to his lips, pulling away again immediately. He stops you with his hand on your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin, gratitude and apologies in his eyes when he gives you one kiss back and leans away from you.

Your brain feels fuzzy from being handed around and over Chan’s shoulder you make eye contact with Changbin and his lips look so plush and you still remember the taste of them from the day in the studio and you want him so badly it makes arousal tingle through your body. But you rip your eyes away from him, over to where Minho and Jisung are sitting side by side. Jisung is staring at you with wide eyes, his pupils blown wide, Minho’s face is unreadable. You blink at them for a second, sending them a questioning glance – because no matter how much you wanted Changbin, there’s no way you’re doing anything without their consent. Jisung looks at Minho, waits, an excruciating moment before Minho nods, imperceptibly. You hesitate, trying to figure out why he’s approving of this, after everything, after nearly punching Changbin a couple weeks ago – but his face remains unreadable, something dark twinkling in his eyes and he nods again. You look at Jisung, who nods as well, licking his lips as he shifts in his seat, hands pawing at the crotch of his jeans as he tries to rearrange himself, and you take a deep breath.

When your eyes meet Changbin’s, he’s staring, heady blush on his cheeks and a boyish smile on his lips. You crawl closer and he huffs out a disbelieving laugh.

“Am I dreaming?” he breathes, teasingly, incredulously, his eyes so full of genuine adoration that your heart skips the tiniest beat, a stupid giggle tumbling from your lips as he helps you into his lap gingerly, palms skating over your body reverently, almost disbelievingly. As soon as you’re settled on his thick thighs and look down at him, your heart is in your throat.

“Get on with it already,” Seungmin ribs from across the circle, his voice a fluttery thing tinged with arousal. Changbin’s eyes never leave yours.

“Fuck off, there’s no way I’m rushing this,” he mumbles and you bring your hands to rest on the side of his neck, thumbs digging into his pulse point slightly, where you can feel his heartbeat thundering underneath your fingertips.

You smile at him and Changbin smiles back, and then he pulls you closer and his plush lips are on yours and it’s miraculous, how he meets you, his enthusiasm matching yours one for one as he takes you open-mouthed. Your fingers card through his curls and he winds both of his arms around your waist and pulls you so flush against his chest that you feel like you’ll melt into him. It’s all so absurd, that you’re not in love with him but that you like kissing him so much and that he likes kissing you, that you match each other so well, and you giggle into his lips, eliciting a breathless chuckle from him in return and you let yourself melt further into him, tilting your head to kiss him deeper and you can feel him get hard underneath you, his palms pressing you impossibly closer against his hot, muscular body.

You don’t know how much time passes, but you assume no more than a minute, when you feel Chan mumble Changbin’s name as he plucks at your shirt, trying to make you pull apart. He sounds vaguely worried and you figure you’re pushing your luck, despite Minho and Jisung’s approval, and you pull back with a sigh. Changbin doesn’t look too crestfallen, only sighs deeply when he looks up at you and smiles. He doesn’t say anything as he swipes a thumb over your cheek. When you shift off his lap, you can feel his reluctance, but he doesn’t stop you, only places gentle hands on your waist and helps you along.

You meet Minho and Jisung’s eyes across the room and to your relief, neither of them look angry. There’s a pretty little furrow in between Jisung’s brows, one you want to kiss away, but also a noticeable tent in his sweats, one you want to wrap your lips around. Minho’s face is still unreadable, though his eyes are dark, a flush high on his cheekbones. His breathing is shallow, and it doesn’t look like rage, but you’re still wary of it.

You’re distracted by cold, lithe fingers linking with yours and then Felix’s big, smiling eyes are right in front of you and you can’t help but smile back as he tugs you closer, eyelashes fluttering against your cheek so sweetly before he dips in for the filthiest kiss you’ve received yet, all tongue and teeth and spit as he drags your hand down to rest on the bulge on his pants. When you press down on it like he’s so clearly asking for, he moans dirtily, loudly, entirely heedless of the eyes of all of his members on him. He nips at your bottom lip like he wants you to break, and you nearly do, squeezing him so hard he gasps and you chuckle into his mouth evilly. He doesn’t respond, just keens into you and makes a show of sucking on your tongue and you briefly wonder who he’s putting on such a show for when he imperceptibly shifts and then Hyunjin’s lips replace Felix’s, ringed hands joining Felix’s on your body and you feel like you’re about to float away when one of them squeezes your ass and there are lips on your neck and Hyunjin hums into your mouth, tongue mapping out the inside of your mouth for the second time that night. Somewhere in the background you hear Jisung breathe out a keening “fuck” and it makes arousal zap down your spine. Felix’s hands are still running over your ass and the back of your thighs where you’re kneeling, your ass probably completely in Changbin’s face, though something tells you that if it is, he’s not complaining.

“Get a room, Jesus,” Jeongin complains, but his voice is so brittle nobody has to even look at him to know just how much he’s enjoying the view. But nonetheless, Hyunjin shifts you past him until you’re face to face with Jisung, who’s staring at you with so much need in his big, wet eyes, spit almost drooling from his bitten bottom lip, that it drives you nearly insane with the need to have him. You blink at Minho, who just rolls his eyes and nods and before you can even process what is happening, there are warm hands on your body, the room spins and then your back is pressed to the carpet, Jisung’s wet lips on yours.

He swallows your squeal of surprise, moans when you kiss him back, lacing the fingers of one of his hands with yours and pulling your hand to rest above your head as he bears down his hips and grinds into you ever so slightly; but it’s enough to make you see stars.

“See, I told you,” Minho observes coolly, but you barely hear it, Jisung and you lost in each other in the way you usually get. Minho digs the heel of his palm into where he’s straining painfully against the zipper of his jeans, relieves at least a little bit of the pressure. Then he looks out at the room before he zeroes in on Felix.

“Your turn,” he orders and Felix glares back at him, perfectly bratty, and Minho resists the temptation to reach out and swipe his thumb over Felix’s pouty bottom lip. He doesn’t know if Felix can sense it, but he crawls over to Minho with determination, preening and staring into his eyes as he makes himself at home in Minho’s lap, pert little ass right on his bulge. Minho has to bite back a groan.

“Well, you won’t mind if I start with you,” Felix purrs before he winds both of his arms around Minho’s neck and dips his head down, dragging his wet tongue up the side of Minho’s neck. It’s bold and filthy and it makes goosebumps break out all over Minho’s skin, his eyes fluttering shut as Felix continues to lick his way along his jawline and over his bottom lip before Minho has enough, fingers digging into the back of Felix’s head when he pulls him into a bruising kiss. Felix grinds down, swallows the barely audible gasp it tears out of Minho like he was made for it, his soft, little fingers winding around the back of Minho’s neck and Minho has to exert inhuman levels of self-control to use his grip in Felix’s hair to yank him back, shocking a keening moan out of Felix. To Minho’s right, Jisung is hovering over you, both of your eyes glazed over as you watch the exchange, Jisung’s hips rutting into yours almost subconsciously. Over Felix’s shoulder, Minho makes eye contact with Hyunjin, who is staring at them darkly, his bottom lip worried between his teeth so prettily Minho wants to replace it with his fingers. He tightens his grip on Felix’s hair, and the boy in his lap chuckles out a moan.

“Brat,” he grunts and Felix shrugs, extricates his lithe legs from Minho’s lap, crawling over to where Jisung is still hovering over you and smashes his lips to Jisung’s in a quick, filthy kiss that makes Jisung sway and almost tip over, nails digging into the carpet next to you. But as quickly as that, Felix pulls back, presses a peck to your lips and turns around, looking at Minho with a challenge in his eyes as he crawls across the circle.

The room is dead silent, everyone’s eyes on Felix as he calmly makes his way over to … Minho huffs out a disbelieving laugh. He knew it. Chan looks pale, his hands lying uselessly in his lap, doing nothing to obstruct their view of his boner, and not moving to stop Felix as he crawls towards him, closer and closer, until he’s right there, hovering in front of his face and looking at him. When Chan’s eyes flicker down to Felix’s lips for just a split second, Felix takes it as an answer, leans forward and brushes his nose against Chan’s before going in for a full kiss, soft but intense. Minho watches with rapt attention, watches as Chan’s eyebrows draw together, watches his hand shoot up and hover over Felix’s shoulder before finally bearing down, palm running down his arm until he can cover Felix’s hand with his. Changbin next to them looks like he might pass out, something between wonder and horror on his face, gaze flickering away when Chan and Felix finally part. Felix doesn’t smile when he turns around and returns to his place, leaning into Hyunjin’s side. Hyunjin watches him closely, throws an arm around his shoulders and presses a kiss into his hair.

Minho can feel it, a sense of guilt settling in his stomach for forcing Felix into this, so he thinks it’s only fair for him to break the tension. He turns around and makes eye contact with Seungmin, throwing him a lopsided, cocky grin. Seungmin’s eyes widen before Minho can even open his mouth.

“Come here then, puppy,” he mumbles, snatches Seungmin’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and tugs him in for a kiss that makes Seungmin nearly lose his balance, an undignified squeak falling from his lips as he nearly topples over but still leans forward, closer, wrapping his palm around Minho’s arm, like he’s trying to hold him in place. Minho lets his tongue slip between Seungmin’s velvety plump lips, licks at his teeth filthily until Seungmin’s jaw relaxes, lets him pry it open as much as he wants. But he seems to be in the mood to tease his subby little boys because he forces himself to pull back again, way too early for even his own liking, making Seungmin almost slump forward, lips still parted, blinking up at him so hazy Minho’s cock twitches in his pants.

But Seungmin doesn’t take long to regain his senses, blushing a furious red as he blinks the haze from his eyes, and pulls back, eyes trained on the ground.

“Jesus Christ,” Changbin breathes out, his cheeks still flushed as he blinks at the bottle, “was that everyone now? Please tell me that was everyone.”

Minho is just about to answer when he hears it, Jisung’s barely contained whimper and the choked, heady moan that follows, and his brain short-circuits.

“Did Jisung just …” Jeongin rasps out, his face a grimace of stunned disbelief.

Minho turns and he sees your fucked out, cocky smile before he sees Jisung’s face buried in your neck, burning ears peeking out from under his floppy hair. His back is heaving, tremors running through his body where he’s grinding into you half-heartedly. Minho would feel embarrassed or bad for Jisung, if he didn’t know that what likely brought Jisung to a head was the fact that everyone was watching, his burning ears a sign of shame, yes, but a type of shame that will make him hard for the rest of his life. His sweet little boy, sweet nasty little boy.

“Jisung and Minho are still left,” Felix observes, sticking out his tongue when Minho glares at him.

“I’m not kissing Jisung right now, not when he …” Chan blurts out and waves his hand around the air vaguely, freezing when eight pairs of eyes whip over to him, some in utter disbelief. Minho nearly laughs out loud.

“You … and Jisung,” Jeongin whispers, his eyebrows furrowing further before he lets his head drop into his hands, “this group is insane.”

Hyunjin chuckles lightly, “it’s okay, Innie, we’re just having fun.”

Jeongin lifts his head and sends Hyunjin a sharp glance that makes Hyunjin swallow drily. “I’m not done with you yet.”

And as much as Minho is enjoying the view, the revelations, the sheer sexual tension in the room, his dick is so painfully hard that it hurts.

He can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he scoots over to where Jisung is slowly, dazedly, peeling himself off you with his cheeks still bright red and a sizeable wet spot in his sweats. Minho reaches out a hand to run it through Jisung’s tangled hair.

“Well done, Sungie,” he murmurs and Jisung whines, a grimace of shame and arousal painting his whole face as Minho leans in and kisses him softly. “Now let me have her, won’t you.”

You breathe out a weak chuckle, watching as Minho helps Jisung climb off you, dazedly sitting up and hiding his face in Hyunjin’s back when he realises everyone’s staring at him. Hyunjin pats his shoulder comfortingly, but his eyes are on Minho, as Minho scoops you up and pulls you into his lap. And no, usually Minho doesn’t like so many eyes on him when he kisses you or Jisung, but something about the way Hyunjin is looking at him, the way the eyes of all these men who have gotten to kiss you and fuck you are on him – he is burning up with it, with the jealous need to pull you into his arms.

When you’re settled between Minho’s safe arms, you give him a devastating smile and Minho grins back, dragging his lips along your jaw until his breath hits the shell of your ear. His voice a whisper just for you when he finally speaks.

“Let me remind them all who you belong to.”

He hears your giggle and then you turn your head and capture his lips and his eyes slip shut as his hands drag up your thighs and to your ass and when he slips his tongue into your mouth he can taste Jisung but also so many other tongues on you that he momentarily blacks out, jealousy and arousal crackling through his body, his cock leaking into his boxers. He rips his mouth from you, relishing in your hot lips travelling down his throat as he reaches over to the bottle, pretending to spin it and making it point at himself.

“7 minutes in heaven or something. With her,” he rasps out and you chuckle wildly into his neck, biting at the skin so hard it makes goosebumps break out all over his skin, “though I don’t think we’ll need more than five.”

Jisung grins stupidly where he’s half collapsed into Hyunjin, watching as Minho winds an arm around you and gets up, carrying you into the bathroom, watching as the door swings shut and the members stare after you dumbfounded. His boxers are still sticky, and his cock is already interested again, but he just allows himself to sink further into Hyunjin, nuzzling his face into his shoulder. He observes carefully as Jeongin’s eyes linger on Hyunjin, his brows furrowed in thought as his eyes slip over where Hyunjin sits, with both Jisung and Felix draped over him and Jisung briefly wonders what will happen. Then something clatters to the floor in the bathroom and he gets distracted, his mouth watering as he waits for you and Minho to come back out, at which point he hopes Minho will drag you both into his room and Jisung can finally get Minho’s dick in his ass where the plug has been pressing into him the whole night.

When the toothpaste tips over and tumbles over the edge of the counter, you barely notice, too distracted by Minho’s hot, demanding hands slipping into your pants and panties, tucking them down your legs impatiently. You let him pry your mouth open further with his tongue and dig your nails into his neck just the way he likes it and he groans, his hands flying to his own jeans to undo his belt and shove them down his legs. The belt buckle clacks against the tiles.

“Please tell me you won’t last long either,” he growls into your mouth and presses another feverish kiss to your lips before he turns you around. You bend readily, your hands bracing yourself against the counter. He rocks forward, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance and you moan out, shaking your head furiously.

“I won’t … fuck, please, Min,” you pant out and he presses forward, a few inches of his cock slipping in and stretching you so perfectly your legs start trembling, “just fucking … fuck just fuck me, baby.”

Minho groans and kicks his hips forward, burying himself into your soaking heat with a barely contained moan.

“Jesus, fuck, you’re wet,” he mumbles absentmindedly as he fucks you into you lazily once, twice before his grip on your hips tightens and he starts pulling you back against his cock. Your mind swims and when you lick your lips you can still taste Jisung, can feel the phantom of the breath he had expelled as he came into his pants earlier. Minho snaps his hips harder, one of his hands sliding up your spine until it’s buried in your hair and he pulls, making you arch your back until he’s pounding right into your g-spot.

If it were anyone other than Minho, you might be embarrassed by how fast you’re getting close, already pulsing around his cock where he fucks into you like that, hard and deep and just how you like it, but you can feel him throb, can feel the slight stutter of his hips. When your eyes meet in the mirror, you see the same darkness you saw when you looked over at him after kissing Changbin, can see it consume his gorgeous eyes, and you whimper.

“I’m y-yours, Min,” you manage to pant out and Minho curses, screws his eyes shut, “I’m yours … and Jisung’s … nobody else can … compare.”

Minho moans out, low and tortured, letting go of your hair and smoothing his hand down your back instead.

“Fuck, keep saying it,” he mumbles and you moan again, the heat in your belly building and building as Minho drives you closer and closer to the edge.

“I’m yours,” you pant out, strangled, desperate, “only y-yours, Min. You’re the only one … they don’t … oh, fuck they will never … never have me like this … I- … I love you.”

You wail out your profession of love as your orgasm tears through you, your legs nearly giving out, but Minho catches you, pulling you against him and letting your frantically clenching cunt take him over the edge. He cums inside you with a wild moan, continuing to grind into you as he rides it out, shooting ropes and ropes of his seed deep inside you.

You feel boneless when he stills, leaning forward and leaning his forehead against your back. Your legs are still shaking, but he keeps you upright. When he pulls out, you can feel hot, sticky seed spill out of you and you hiss, clenching almost automatically to try to keep it in. Minho hums, his eyes trained between your legs. He licks his lips but seems to change his mind, instead pulling up his own pants and grabbing some toilet paper, holding you up by your hips as he gently cleans you up. When he’s done, he balls up the tissue and throws it into the toilet.

He gives you a lopsided grin and presses a kiss to your nape.

“The rest you’re gonna keep in for me.”

He dresses you, pulling your clothes back into place and dragging a comb through your hair where he had gripped it, and then he pats your ass and moves to the door. He whispers a hushed I love you into your lips before he ushers you out, but then all gentleness is wiped from his face, and is replaced by your favourite kind of cocky possessiveness when the members stare at him.

“Five minutes, on the dot,” Jisung stage-whispers to you when you sink down next to him, loud enough for the whole room to hear, and you slap his arm. He just leans in and steals a kiss, licking Minho’s taste off your lips and turns back to the room.

“Now who wants do shots?”

was this too insane? pls let me know. also the way I left the ending open and still have truths and dares and never have i ever questions open, what is wrong with me

series masterlist // skzms' general masterlist // ko-fi

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[homo-nouveau]

A window of light in the dark if one of us goes down the other won't be there to catch them we would be unhappy and wish we hadn't done it

[ghostly-clown]

Oh no, hello :), can I request coming out to the slashers? (Like how's they'd react to your new pronouns and such) thank you :)

Yes. YES. YESSSSS

I love this request so much thankyou 🙏

For this I'll try and do both (kinda focused mainly on pronouns tho) and to keep it neutral I'm gonna keep it as coming out as queer with they/them Pronouns, I hope that's ok <3

.

Comming out to slashers 🏳️‍🌈

U know who to expect:

Michael myers, Jason voorhees, brahms heelshire, ghostface, Vincent sinclair (just my favourite brother this time), Thomas hewitt

.

Michael Myers

- he will be surprised and a little confused

- he might take some time to think about it and then come back to you so you can further explain what it means

- once he realises your coming out to him he will go soft

- he won't show it (or not well) but he is honoured that you trust him enough to come out to him

- he will hug you as his way of saying he will always love and except you

- after that things will be otherwise normal, he dosnt speak so he can't use Pronouns but he will point people out as like a "Would u date them?" Thing

- I'm also pretty sure Michael would be ace, so there's that too

.

Jason Voorhees

- he thought everyone was a little gay so he's not that surprised, but you will need to explain the whole pronouns thing to him

- after he is 100% excepting without a doubt

- he also dosnt talk but he still wants u to feel excepted so you will find lil cards around that say stuff like "your the best they there is :)" or "thems is a good pronoun fir u"

- he will go out of his way to make u feel comfortable and even help u burn all ur sheets with your dead-name

- he will also happily sit and listen to you rant about the celebrities u have a crush on

- All around just a guy trying his best and his best is alot so u won't need to worry

.

Brahms Heelshire

- he dosnt get it at all, he's gonna ask so many questions

- he will ask the infamous "so does that mean you like me?"

- using the right Pronouns is gonna be hard only cause he's not used to it but after a week or two he'll get better

- always correcting himself when he uses the wrong name or pronoun by punching the wall

- you do so much for him the least he can do is use your pronouns whenever he can

- after month he will probably ask to use they/them pronouns cause he likes how they sound

- guess who's now a demi-boy

.

Ghostface

- Billy is understanding but won't make a big deal of it

- he will ask who doesn't know and how comfortable u are with using your name and pronouns in public

- he wants u to feel safe more then anything

- Stu on the other hand is gonna treat it as if he were welcoming a whole knew person

- he is on the name and pronouns straight away, not a problem for him

- but he might accidentally out you by being too enthusiastic so be careful

.

Vincent sinclair

- again you will have to explain this to him because he dosnt get it

- he will make alot of mistakes sorry :(

- but once he starts getting the hang of using the right pronouns he starts to get it

- seeing how you smile when he says something as simple as "oh, they're over there"

- after noticing that slight change to joy he will go out of his way to use your new name and new pronouns as much as he can

- he's happy to see you happy more then anything

- and he's always gonna be your safe space when u need a break

.

Thomas hewitt

- he will probably be the hardest to come out to mainly cause of his family

- he will ask alot of somewhat uncomfortable questions

- he does genuinely want to understand why this is important to you so he will use they/them here and there

- he might accidentally out you to his family but that's when he realises how important this is to you

- he will feel so bad for the longest time and will always be apologising for it

- but on the up side he has since doubled down on using the right pronouns, and the rest of the family being scared of him will follow his lead

- he's trying his best and does just want u to feel happy and comfortable

.

[joejoeba]

Caejose for the ship ask👀

-Whether I ship it or not

I do! I guess? Like I enjoy the dynamic, but I dont believe it could ever actually happen. I still indulge in it, but realistically I'm like....they're set up to fail a little bit. And I like wondering about them as doomed star crossed lovers!

-Why I ship it or not

Joseph is one of the most interesting characters imo, and his most interesting dynamic comes from interacting with Caesar, and it's a complex dynamic! Worth looking into, and I mean, they are two extremely muscular hotbois.... I love that they were soooooo mad at each other at first and then one (1) dire situation later Caesar is like "!! maestra Joseph is so tired but he tried so hard I'm breaking your rules to help him I'm sorry pls be nice to him" like. Caesar......

-My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc)

Like I said, set up to fail. Canon potential: none, bc its early jojo, and bc it's the hyper masculine ones (not MY opinion but the typical Jojo narrative), and because its during That time period. They could never be.... but Caesar sure acts like Joseph awoke something in him. My combination realistic/interpretation narrative is Caesar being a closeted gay man who is very confused by oblivious bisexy Joseph and their weird mind bond and how stupidly hot joseph is and how surprisingly complex and-

-My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc)

Caesar is not a sweet soft tsun boy. He's incredibly prideful and, honestly, kind of a bitch? Let's not forget his very criminal past (not that it makes him worse, but I feel like people forget Caesar was a street thug and not always a prissy primadonna). Joseph; also kind of a bitch, not just a sexy himbo! And cocky, and intentionally infuriating, and incapable of taking things seriously- but also very honourable in battle, super dedicated to the people he loves and surprisingly benevolent to the underdog, and SCARY smart. I feel like people forget this a lot. They're very rival-archetype and honestly they'd be INSUFFERABLE as a couple, but they have a sort of mind bond and they get each other whether they like it or not. I like it when people treat them as very independent and arrogant adults. Hate it when they're a bottom-top stereotype in either direction.

Also caesar's eyes are not blue thank u.

[now-that-i-saw-you]

I'm sorry to hijack your post op, I just finished season 1 and I've been thinking about this!! I couldn't help comparing the show to Succession since both shows are so similiar, except Succession did a much better job.

This is going to contain spolilers for Succession's finale

One element of the two shows is that everyone's a shitty person, but I feel like narrowing Succession's characters to "just a shitty person" does a disservice to the show. Because Succession tricks you by making you dislike a characters and find them completely irredeemable, then making you feel really bad for them and showing they are capable of caring about someone else. There's not much info about the Roy siblings childhood, there aren't any flashbacks scene, but the writers make sure we know Logan was emotionally (and physically) abusive through the current actions of the characters (and that's fucking brilliant writing) and it's why the characters keep coming back to him (and because they're all power-hungry rich people)

The White Lotus doesn't do that. Everyone acts in ways and displays behaviours. Why do they do that? I have no idea, I literally don't know anything about any of these characters. I kept waiting for the plot to start and it just didn't. It gets frustrating watching the characters do things without understanding why. Why does Paula hide her relationship with Kai from Olivia? Why does she resent Olivia so much? She mentions a power imbalance in their friendship (Olivia always has to have the best cards) (I do think the theme of Power Imbalance in relationships was very interesting) but Olivia doesn't do anything that paints her as a bad friend. Even when she knows her mom got robbed and her dad got beaten because of Paula, she still protects Paula ((she's gay, you're honour)). The only bad thing Olivia does is treating her brother like shit which I thought was such a cliche. Oh wow, another cool older sister who's so mean to her dorky little brother. And that brings me back to Succession because the Roy Siblings are cruel to each other but they love each other so much. Shiv would stab Kendall in the back for a bag of chips but she would give him her left lung to save him. There's an aspect in the show wherein it's clear that things get so much better when the siblings cooperate, and then it all falls apart when Logan makes one of them betray the others. And really they all want his love so why wouldn't they do anything he asks?

No one in The White Lotus pays the consequences for their actions. Yeah you could say it's criticising the fact rich, privileged people never pay for their crimes but...why would I want to watch it? Succession's ending was fantastic because everyone lost but not in the way you expected. Logan never gets properly punished, but he dies off-screen in an episode not even named after him. Tom betrays his wife and ends up the CEO but he's just a puppet on strings. Shiv sucks for several reasons (I love her tho) and she is still the rich wife of a CEO but then, that's all she is - a wife. Kendall and Roman lose the prize they dedicated their entire lives to winning.

I think The White Lotus did a good job showing Shane is the epitome of Privileged, Whiney Manchild and a Mommy's Boy...but he's not really that interesting. He's just supposed to highlight Rachel and Armond. We know there is a power imbalance in Shane and Rachel's relationship which is probably why Rachel doesn't break up with him by the second episode. But then she has an epiphany and decides to break up with him and then comes back to him after he stabs a man?? Why?? Why does Shane not get arrested or detained for fucking killing a man?? Even if it was for self-defense???

it really didn’t hit me that there’s no show like succession in terms of the funniness and wit until it was over . like ive been trying to watch the white lotus over the course of like two weeks and im still stuck on episode four and there are six episodes in s1 . this shits boring

[mediacinemtographyartetc]

Movies that SHOULD'VE been GAY

Okay I've noticed [not being spiteful just a meh observation] that movies that have men being friends become a ship that still seen as gay to present time but lesbians??? not so much i.e [Lost boys micheal and david, interview with a vampire altho that IS gay and teen wolf stiles and derek, sherlock holmes, supernatural harry potter and draco the list goes on]

So HERE is the queer rep for the ones who refer to themselvs as gals of feminine heres the lesbian stories for you!

Bring it on.

Missy and Tuarences should've been gay altho the brothers hot too tuarence is a perfect Bisexual representation. Plus all the girls in this movie? Pretty sure I had a crush on.

Next is Bride wars.

The fact that in the beggining of the movie the two girls we're playing 'marriage' where one is the bride and the other is the groom and they've been 'dreaming' of their dream wedding and both were proposed and their marriage happened at the same time. Both of them had a fight but only one's marriage ended because her husband was a dick. But overall the fact that they were close, got made up, knew each other so well and then ended up pregnant at the same time made me think they should've just made the movie gay and show that even lesbians will clash on deciding their wedding and since they 'shared' everything this moment will be a next step of them embracing their individualty and being better for it.

Next up is "The Holiday." A movie where two women have issues with their relationships and have 'break ups' and end up swapping homes to get away from it all. I would've loved if the two became pen pals and ended up stepping in each other shoes and found themselves knowing a person from their house and gettig closer to them by their friends, neighbors, family and found that the two have a lot in common and find that both became the 'escape' the other needed [but I do love Jude law in this film especially since he cried we need to bring back healthy relationships or seeing men being vunerable because it was so refreshing back then]

Oceans 8

These two need I say more? Overrall in the story its great that blondie had bruenettes back and even was there as her rock every step of the way, both were equel powerhouses and complete badassas through the whole movie. Wish it was official but to me they're married your honour.

Death becomes her.

This is SUCH a gay movie, if you watch it there is SO much clevage and it feels so gay when both of the women end up living forever and eternity the fact that they tried to hurt one another over some man and the fact that madeline was hurt by the others words because she was called 'cheap' and took it to heart she is so insecure and unloved and yet giner snaps [forgot her name] was obsessed with her to the point where she even drove her inmates mad when she wanted to talk about her, the drive to kill her- then made up then living with her years later [if it wasn't for the message in the end that they were miserable and the guy was happy even tho he kinda ruined their lives he DID choose madeline a women he just met over his fiance and then became drunk because she was awful?] oh well still think the movie was queer.

Mean girls

Rewatching the movie and the musical I can't help but think that a three way love triangle of Katie, Erin and Regina would've been perfect, a coming of age and even dealing with their sexuality as well as the drama of being friends someone like regina and hormones all over the place. Love and hate is usually one and the same thing and pig tail pulling has always been a thing when someone has a crush but as no way of expressing that which leads to confusion. Regina had no interest in erin but only did that to hurt katie and dangle him in front of the other even going as far as saying that she would rather break things than share them with others. The relationship of katie and Regina turns from one of a power imbalance of ruler and supporter to two queens who are equel and think that every one loves them and wants to be them even though everybody hates them. Going as far as revenge but even though Katie had hurt regina she still felt guilty and went as far as to mend that friendship even though regina is a 'mean' girl as is katie at least the two were able to come to a compromise and grow from it and even forget the crap they did to one another over some guy.

[Unlike Janice no offense but as I'm older I can't help but dislike janice and see her as a pick me quircky girl whose honestly no different than regina but is worse because she never apologised or even thought she was wrong and was never humbled like the other characters were]

Mortal Instruments

It would've been better if Clary and isabelle were a thing [no offense to mortal instrument fans] But in the books from what I remember isabelle was a bit bland the only redeeming thing about her is that simon wanted to date her and when he lost his memories isabelle became umbearably weird about it. Isabelle is bland and Clary is an idiot [and if jace and simon were a thing that would be awesome]

Overall if the two were a couple it would make sense for isabelle to take that role of protecting clary because she was raised as a mundane and Clary trying to help isabelle to make the lightwood name have respect it would ALSO be a cool story for the other to look down on them and see that history was repeating itself saying clary is JUST like valentine and isabelle was another follower and the two had to prove that its not the same as the past and that they are 'not' their families but they're own indivual person.

But I only say this because the incest plot was garbage and the whole.

"Jace Feachild, our mom had a BOX of all your things and mourned you!" She said this to Jace. Then when she found out they WEREN'T siblings went to freakin Sebastion and was like.

"JACE our MOM had a bOx oF aLl YoUr tHiNgs and mOurnED yUU!"

She is so goddamn stupid it hurts.

The craft.

Sarah and Nancy they're relationship is NOT that different from Mean girls regina and katie altho both are similiar to a narcasistic relationship of love bombing one moment then wanting to destroy your life the next. The craft is a darker version of mean girls on taking it too far but the whole "We can only have unproblematic queer rep where its not a bad relationship because it fetishises queer bleh-" Its bullshit, why is it that heteros can do whatever and its just a story a romance, a warning a psa to look out for. But in lgbt it has to be on 'brand/child friendly/ unproblematic.' Thers sin city, watchmen jessica jones and netflix YOU but god forbid we have a dark horror romance with queer characters its homo/trans/any/phobic.

Bend it like beckham.

It just...would've been SUCH a good freakin movie if they made it gay. Like I get it y'know but why do they make hetero relationships so goddamn bland I'd rather they didn't have any relationship/romance at all if they cant even make it interesting or even want me to imagine something else even better like pairing these two together. The takes on prejudice, sexism, sterotypes that if girls like football they're 'dykes'

Barbie movies: NAME ANY BARBIE MOVIE.

But what comes to my mind is Princess and the puaper or Barbie and the diamond castle. Just blond barbie with brunette barbie. They even bring in twins or other love interests that just are there [which is refreshing when other movies the girlfriends/love interests are just a prop and are about as interesting as an outdated typewriter.] But overall the relationship the two have when in pauper both have a connection and the other one is trying to pretend to be the other even though she could've walked away and the diamon castle they're both roomates. And And Babie and fairytopia- I swear this is THE lesbian movie, the blue fiary, the evil green one and even the blue mermaid like I can't and the fact that this bitch gets 'RAINBOW' wings in the third movie is just bonkers its so gay I feel like I'm being insulted its like these movies are MOCKING me. I'm in a desert parched, no water and they just TEASE a droplet of water and I get slapped in the face with that fucking HETERO shit. I don't care that its for kids if the mermaid can whine that her darling mermaid prince is someone she loves why can't she like ladypuff?????

Stick it.

The potential enemies to loves of johanne and Haley. And haley is such big LESBIAN energy. I was obsessed with this movie as a kid and teen and now as an adult kinda think. Holy shit that makes so much sense I am so dumb ^^; the growth these two have where Johanne changes sides and starts to understand and even get along with haley and how haley even approaches Johanne of her overbearing movie and they way they just banter and snap of each other is amazing [but overall johanne or joanne however you spell it having a simp of a boyfriend is what she deserves at least her hetero relationship doesnt make me want to gag and cry that it could've been better]

Van hellsing.

Just these two, the vampire hunter and the vampire its simply meant to be but ginger snaps here is so heckin annoying [the first bride who died I had a huge crush on now that I realise] the fact they know each others names, how they speak to one another how they fight and that hevera? I think her name is ALWAYS teases and plays with anna. I just so much sexual tension between the two and ugh I just wanted bride Anna I even think avara hevera w/e her name is probably wanted it too XD

Pitch Perfect.

Both rebecca and Ginger snaps [I am so sorry] Are obs a couple, the way ginger was obsessed the naked Shower scene and said I'm confident and then the fact that they become ROOMATES and the boyfriend from the first/secondish movie just disapears and we never noticed because w/e movie buff he was obs dating benny so its fine. Movie guy made a disapearing act with his magician friends thats cool. The fact that the two are still together and performing and singing even years later one wants to make music while the other is a singer I don't get why becca couldn't just work with her group and make her own songs and original stuff she was able to make music for celebs but I guess comedy movies go in a downward spiral where funny haha jokes have more priority than plot.

Once upon a time.

Having Emma and regina a couple just makes sense, Emma became a VILLAIN so regina could have a happy ending. The way they both bounce off each other and even stay consistent even though their partners keep changing. Both are moms to their son henry so co-parenting right there! The fact that Emma is a savior BUT is also a character in a fairy tale story having both fight for their happily ever afters but also their fairy tales of having a queen and princess get together has NEVER been done. its always prince charming or defeat the evil villain so fighting for their ending is also fighting against fate to change the 'rules' of what a happily ever after really is.

Bit of a weird one but if you played the game of Tomb Raider legend I absouletely LOVED the concept of goth punk angry girlfriend and Lara being a thing. its like a dark twist of lovers to Enemies, completely toxic and betrayel, of two people who are archeologists and brilliant women who are trying to hunt for the sword of excalibur. Amanda was betrayed by Lara who didn't go back down to save her, and was truly bitter over her feelings then being enraged at Amanda for killing her movie in the past wish the sequel to this game wasn't on xbox or the freakin wii then realised the story went too dark and garbage like a terrible dc batman movie but alas I love the concept of these two...

She's the man.

No matter how you slice it this film is GAY [Yes I am aware that most queer people do not want this film to be rep it feels problematic I get that but I choose to think positively]

The fact that the main girl feels like a trans character or if not has a more better relationship with olivia and it comes across as queer, her infatuation with talyor but presenting as a man comes across as gay. Either way- she could be seen as a butch lesbian or a transman and it would've been a good movie to explore those themes but nope back to heteronormaty I guess but overall with these lists I don't want a reboot of these movies and MAKE them gay I want shows like it that is a similair story line but is gay.

The truth is movies can come out and be original but still have elements of nostalgia or 'reboot' energy. Like ready player one feels like a back to the future vibe, how Free guy is just lego movie and Red notice is a mixture of indiana jones or other national treasure movies.

What I love about this list is that even tho some have similaraties all of these people/couples are so unique and different but when I see shows that ARE lesbian/queer I can't help but feel a bit...meh about them. It feels like a hetero couple that isn't written well and they barely have personality at all or sometimes one girl is a complete bitch while the other is a 'sterotype' to what a lesbian is. Sure people outside the internet do have mannerisms that can call into the catergory of an 'archetype' but its worse when a movie comes out and it feels more like cringe propoganda I want to turn my brain off and think man this is gay and I love it.

Not wanting to turn the movie off or walk away in embarresment that when anyone online does queer stories/analysis etc they just hit it spot on.

Loki being nonbinary? That feels right. Velma being Bisexual? Also feels right. Gaston and Laufee being gay? Thats just facts.

But when Media does it it's like they veer of and just miss the mark like the have the spirit but it just doesn't feel queer. Watching old movies from the 90's to 2000's just had GOOD queer subtext and felt more relatable and better written than...whatever the heck we have now. I just miss classic rom coms about a story like, 13 going on 30, rent, ps I love you, think like a man act like a women. Just a normal story with narratives that go in a weird direction or even a movie with MULTIPLE couples to have a contrast on how different people have different relationships. Either way I know youtubers/tik tokers do queer stories WAY better than any proper media service so at least I know I'm getting rep somewhere.