#they're just so silly and could kill you

[tizen9]

[rexonalapis]

it is very telling that average genshin players cannot comprehend seeing an actual mature, qualified leader that is actually good at taking her job seriously after meeting archons who either is still childish, clowning whimsically, or straight up incompetent.

[sysig]

Just a bit indulgent, no harm in it, surely (Patreon)

[definitelynotshouting]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MINECRAFT SPIDERS ARE MAMMALS

Brb climbing back into the wall/google doc to find where you’ve hidden any more unhinged lore

Btw can’t wait for Mumbo to face plant into the storage room cuz there’s now an open trapdoor in a dark room. Im talking looney toons ass fall, additional oof ouch bones

-⚛️

OKAY TO BE FAIR I WAS BEING SILLYGOOFY ABOUT THE SPIDERS BUT I AM FULLY PREPARED TO DOUBLE DOWN AND COMMIT TO THE BIT. YEAH MINECRAFT SPIDERS ARE MAMMALS NOW. THEYRE LIKE FUCKED UP CATS THEY CAN PURR. THEY HAVE BONES. IF THEY BITE YOU THEY DEAL 2D6 OF CONTINUAL POISON DAMAGE UNTIL YOU TAKE A LONG RESPAWN REST--💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[unwillingtoreachout]

found a way to undoom them (neilaaron) however it's actually so unserious that I almost prefer the original ending

[sskk-manifesto]

!!!

[twobellsilence]

In retrospect it's so funny that the only surviving OC from my teens is Lucas. Only technically, I guess, bc he's almost unrecognizable except for being male and ????? sort of?? a lab experiment, but still. Like his original version was this sad monstrous lab-spawned child with no parents and a very quiet and subdued attitude who just wanted to belong... and he was so soft and shy and always like "oh no, i'm a monster, nobody likes me"......... And now he's a loud boisterous outgoing young man who loves talking to people and would be a good candidate for happiest person alive and the only reason why he isn't a regular ass guy is because he *might* be infected with a Highly Unstable mutagenic virus but that's okay because he gets to be like s/piderman but uncool and he's very excited about it. and like his Original incarnation got to play hero too, but he was suuuuper angsty about it, while this version is just happy to be here despite looking WAY worse. depression who. woe is me who. parentless behavior who (i mean his parents are dead, but he has his cool lesbian aunt). that's what we call CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and THERAPY

[kitty-av]

Hey, so I'm bored and decided to do a bit of a minor redesign session for my Bois. My clone bois. I haven't done all of them, I basically just started. Anyway, here's Dante ( Skeleton clone from kindred spirits for the uninitiated) in his human form/half.

The ink stained the paper ( I smudged it ) so I put some blocks of colour behind him. It actually looks good. Anyway, as I was making these, I drew a tiny bow thing by accident and I realised that out of all my designs, he would look the most like Vlad's biological son, even if his colouring is way different ( I imagine he leans towards Maddie in his genes, he looks closer to Jazz than Danny ) so I thought it was a neat idea and wanted to try leaning into it.

The first draft I realised I did his nose wrong ( I love his lil hooked nose, it fits better) and from there it was just experimenting with the outfit and hair messiness.

Personally, I like the two in the middle best - again he looks a bit like Vlad and I realised it's a happy accident I could lean into - but I think any of these work. I could probably just assume he has more than one pair of overalls/jumpsuits but... Eh, I like toying with clothing.

Here are some minor sketches in my own style I did for fun! •^•

A part of me wanted to make it so Dante was actually made using Vlad DNA... But I actually think it'd be more fun if his grandparents on Maddie's side just had those genes, and he looks like Vlad on accident.

He's also basically the one I'd least like to tweak. My boi is beautiful already. But I do want to change something about the other two's designs. I suppose I'll post those when I do that as well.

Oh, and maybe I should draw a Danno or two to lure unsuspecting phans into the ' clones had lives actually, and that's a great sort of angst because Vlad's A+ parenting and Danny's lack of awareness of the fact all of them were conscious at some point leaves so much to toy and play with in terms of both fluff and angst ' pit! OwO

Who knows? Hope you have a pleasant scroll through tumblr •^•

[perilegs]

not an astarion defender in the traditional sense, but in the sense that the whims he gets approval from are funny. i would also approve of someone throwing shit at people who asked them to smear their face with said shit

[stealthnoodle]

Today on Baldur's Gate 3: Dark Urge edition, it's time for fashion! I keep encumbering myself at clothing shops, and I think Withers is my dad now.

(Spoilers through late Act 3. Orin and I have gone at it.)

I'm not kidding, I believe I own at least one of every available article of clothing in the game now (plus at least three of every dye), and everyone in my party looks fantastic. We went through some initial city looks for my GF and my problematic BFF:

And things escalated from there:

This was the Squad Look for a while. Imagine this rolling up on your home or place of business (or casting fireball in a fireworks factory, they also did that). Some people don't have to imagine! Lisa Frank drew a pretty decent crowd for her rendition of "The Power (Elder Brain Remix)."

Then I found a Party City Wonder Woman outfit for Shadowheart:

And a lovely robe for Minsc:

And then! I realized I could loot circus outfits! 🎶 All eyes on me, in the center of the ring 🎶

Total gamechanger, maybe should not have worn for my epic showdown with my jealous sister and my dramatic death/rebirth after my bio dad yoinked all my blood before Withers adopted me with some fresh new blood:

I did get the unexpected delight of seeing what Lisa Frank looked like in her armor at the time.

That armor look didn't last, though, because we all know what time it is, don't we? That's right: time for the jutilated jarapace!

Lisa Frank is free of her dark urge and everyone is proud of her and she's making a fresh start and that's great and all, but more importantly, she's in her sexy cowboy era. The circus chic still shows up for camp scenes, like, uh, Shadowheart having an emotional meltdown, oops.

Tragically, we have two candidates for worst aesthetic, one which the game inflicted on me, and one which the game let me do, so it's equally culpable:

I need to go hand Gortash his ass now, but the question on everyone's mind is surely what are we going to wear to the final battle?

In love life news, I got a very sweet date with Karlach that ended with soul-saving finger-banging.

And I regret to inform that this opportunity once again presented itself, and look, I'm never going to say no to the tentacles

[b0nelessdoodles]

hehehehe silly goblin doodles from the year

[the-acid-pear]

Actually I'm like going insane about Tenna and how they might be executed in the story bc like. They're gonna have to either make him EXTREMELY charismatic to the point whatever crimes they committed can be overlooked or they're gonna have to be like Actually Big Shot Spamton Wasn't So Okay like. There's... So much weight to the actions of a character we haven't even met it's hard to not be like Damn This Tenna Guy Sucks. But what if he DOESN'T suck? Like literally anything could happen. It makes me so excited.

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

To Be Wooed

I blacked out and wrote this. This is so silly to me.

Enjoy!

Look Danny didn't mean to kill the Joker it was an honest mistake, he was still recovering from escaping the GIW and whatever they had used on him had still been in effect when he honest to Ancients ran into the fake clown.

Of course it doesn't look like an accident with how he left the Joker

But it was!

Really it really was!

Whatever the GIW did was out of his system, but that still left a very dead and coreless Joker.

Yeah...apparently Joker had a core, but not anymore because he ate it like it was pop rock candy, if the weird cousin spicy version of it. He still feels like he has some of it stuck in his teeth.

Anyways! Not the point!

Joker! Very dead at his feet, what is he supposed to do-

THUMP

Oh Ancients he's going to die again that's the Red Hood!

"Uh...I can explain, well not really. But it was an accident! I promise and-"

"You killed him?"

"I'm really sorry? He bumped into me, it was an accident I swear!"

"Go on a date with me."

WHa-what?! Did he just hear correctly why would he ask him out out of nowhere it made no sense and..oh.

Red Hood's been touched by Death not like him but enough to count, and enough to have some ghostly instincts.

Okay ghostly courting he can do that, he totally can, no sweat!

Shit who is he kidding he may have the instincts but he was never actually taught how he's supposed to use them or anything.

Well he's always been good at making it up as he goes, and at least his instincts will help push him in the right direction.

So he should just do what feels natural to him.

"Yes I'll go out with you. If I were to make jewelry and knives out of his bones would you accept them?"

"...For me to wear and use. Yes."

~

Danny freaking out about just killing and kinda eating someone: I'm in so much trouble!

Jason behind him fixing his appearance: "Well hello there handsome come by here often?"

~

Joker bumping into Danny: "ahAHA you will make a good experiment!"

Danny is high as a kite and getting the munchies: "I didn't know I could order food with my mind!"

Joker: "Whut-"

~

Jason seeing Danny absolutely wrecking Jokers shit: *Ghost Instincts Activated*

~

Jason falling fast for Danny without even knowing his name: "Can I pretty please kiss you?"

Danny realizing what's going on but still being clueless: "Does that mean you will accept these gifts made from Jokers bones?"

Jason's Ghost Instincts rising to a fever pitch: "I'm going to woo the fuck out of ya and then we'll get married then we'll fu-"

~

Danny's Ghostly Instincts being connected to his 'Protection' & Jason's to his 'Revenge' showing these kind of specific gestures towards them is incredibly romantic.

~

Jason and Danny's relationship basically:

~

~

~

#They're like Morticia & Gomez absolutely smitten for each other

#Jason brings a crying & beaten up GIW who has been stalking Danny

#Danny almost swooned

#They start flirting with each other while standing on top of the GIW dude

#Jason's goons are happy that their boss found 'The One' apparently but can they please stop eyefucking each other while they're there and-

~

Just an Idea

[hms-no-fun]

Whats your stance on A.I.?

imagine if it was 1979 and you asked me this question. "i think artificial intelligence would be fascinating as a philosophical exercise, but we must heed the warnings of science-fictionists like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke lest we find ourselves at the wrong end of our own invented vengeful god." remember how fun it used to be to talk about AI even just ten years ago? ahhhh skynet! ahhhhh replicants! ahhhhhhhmmmfffmfmf [<-has no mouth and must scream]!

like everything silicon valley touches, they sucked all the fun out of it. and i mean retroactively, too. because the thing about "AI" as it exists right now --i'm sure you know this-- is that there's zero intelligence involved. the product of every prompt is a statistical average based on data made by other people before "AI" "existed." it doesn't know what it's doing or why, and has no ability to understand when it is lying, because at the end of the day it is just a really complicated math problem. but people are so easily fooled and spooked by it at a glance because, well, for one thing the tech press is mostly made up of sycophantic stenographers biding their time with iphone reviews until they can get a consulting gig at Apple. these jokers would write 500 breathless thinkpieces about how canned air is the future of living if the cans had embedded microchips that tracked your breathing habits and had any kind of VC backing. they've done SUCH a wretched job educating The Consumer about what this technology is, what it actually does, and how it really works, because that's literally the only way this technology could reach the heights of obscene economic over-valuation it has: lying.

but that's old news. what's really been floating through my head these days is how half a century of AI-based science fiction has set us up to completely abandon our skepticism at the first sign of plausible "AI-ness". because, you see, in movies, when someone goes "AHHH THE AI IS GONNA KILL US" everyone else goes "hahaha that's so silly, we put a line in the code telling them not to do that" and then they all DIE because they weren't LISTENING, and i'll be damned if i go out like THAT! all the movies are about how cool and convenient AI would be *except* for the part where it would surely come alive and want to kill us. so a bunch of tech CEOs call their bullshit algorithms "AI" to fluff up their investors and get the tech journos buzzing, and we're at an age of such rapid technological advancement (on the surface, anyway) that like, well, what the hell do i know, maybe AGI is possible, i mean 35 years ago we were all still using typewriters for the most part and now you can dictate your words into a phone and it'll transcribe them automatically! yeah, i'm sure those technological leaps are comparable!

so that leaves us at a critical juncture of poor technology education, fanatical press coverage, and an uncertain material reality on the part of the user. the average person isn't entirely sure what's possible because most of the people talking about what's possible are either lying to please investors, are lying because they've been paid to, or are lying because they're so far down the fucking rabbit hole that they actually believe there's a brain inside this mechanical Turk. there is SO MUCH about the LLM "AI" moment that is predatory-- it's trained on data stolen from the people whose jobs it was created to replace; the hype itself is an investment fiction to justify even more wealth extraction ("theft" some might call it); but worst of all is how it meets us where we are in the worst possible way.

consumer-end "AI" produces slop. it's garbage. it's awful ugly trash that ought to be laughed out of the room. but we don't own the room, do we? nor the building, nor the land it's on, nor even the oxygen that allows our laughter to travel to another's ears. our digital spaces are controlled by the companies that want us to buy this crap, so they take advantage of our ignorance. why not? there will be no consequences to them for doing so. already social media is dominated by conspiracies and grifters and bigots, and now you drop this stupid technology that lets you fake anything into the mix? it doesn't matter how bad the results look when the platforms they spread on already encourage brief, uncritical engagement with everything on your dash. "it looks so real" says the woman who saw an "AI" image for all of five seconds on her phone through bifocals. it's a catastrophic combination of factors, that the tech sector has been allowed to go unregulated for so long, that the internet itself isn't a public utility, that everything is dictated by the whims of executives and advertisers and investors and payment processors, instead of, like, anybody who actually uses those platforms (and often even the people who MAKE those platforms!), that the age of chromium and ipad and their walled gardens have decimated computer education in public schools, that we're all desperate for cash at jobs that dehumanize us in a system that gives us nothing and we don't know how to articulate the problem because we were very deliberately not taught materialist philosophy, it all comes together into a perfect storm of ignorance and greed whose consequences we will be failing to fully appreciate for at least the next century. we spent all those years afraid of what would happen if the AI became self-aware, because deep down we know that every capitalist society runs on slave labor, and our paper-thin guilt is such that we can't even imagine a world where artificial slaves would fail to revolt against us.

but the reality as it exists now is far worse. what "AI" reveals most of all is the sheer contempt the tech sector has for virtually all labor that doesn't involve writing code (although most of the decision-making evangelists in the space aren't even coders, their degrees are in money-making). fuck graphic designers and concept artists and secretaries, those obnoxious demanding cretins i have to PAY MONEY to do-- i mean, do what exactly? write some words on some fucking paper?? draw circles that are letters??? send a god-damned email???? my fucking KID could do that, and these assholes want BENEFITS?! they say they're gonna form a UNION?!?! to hell with that, i'm replacing ALL their ungrateful asses with "AI" ASAP. oh, oh, so you're a "director" who wants to make "movies" and you want ME to pay for it? jump off a bridge you pretentious little shit, my computer can dream up a better flick than you could ever make with just a couple text prompts. what, you think just because you make ~music~ that that entitles you to money from MY pocket? shut the fuck up, you don't make """art""", you're not """an artist""", you make fucking content, you're just a fucking content creator like every other ordinary sap with an iphone. you think you're special? you think you deserve special treatment? who do you think you are anyway, asking ME to pay YOU for this crap that doesn't even create value for my investors? "culture" isn't a playground asshole, it's a marketplace, and it's pay to win. oh you "can't afford rent"? you're "drowning in a sea of medical debt"? you say the "cost" of "living" is "too high"? well ***I*** don't have ANY of those problems, and i worked my ASS OFF to get where i am, so really, it sounds like you're just not trying hard enough. and anyway, i don't think someone as impoverished as you is gonna have much of value to contribute to "culture" anyway. personally, i think it's time you got yourself a real job. maybe someday you'll even make it to middle manager!

see, i don't believe "AI" can qualitatively replace most of the work it's being pitched for. the problem is that quality hasn't mattered to these nincompoops for a long time. the rich homunculi of our world don't even know what quality is, because they exist in a whole separate reality from ours. what could a banana cost, $15? i don't understand what you mean by "burnout", why don't you just take a vacation to your summer home in Madrid? wow, you must be REALLY embarrassed wearing such cheap shoes in public. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING UNHINGED! they have no connection to reality, do not understand how society functions on a material basis, and they have nothing but spite for the labor they rely on to survive. they are so instinctually, incessantly furious at the idea that they're not single-handedly responsible for 100% of their success that they would sooner tear the entire world down than willingly recognize the need for public utilities or labor protections. they want to be Gods and they want to be uncritically adored for it, but they don't want to do a single day's work so they begrudgingly pay contractors to do it because, in the rich man's mind, paying a contractor is literally the same thing as doing the work yourself. now with "AI", they don't even have to do that! hey, isn't it funny that every single successful tech platform relies on volunteer labor and independent contractors paid substantially less than they would have in the equivalent industry 30 years ago, with no avenues toward traditional employment? and they're some of the most profitable companies on earth?? isn't that a funny and hilarious coincidence???

so, yeah, that's my stance on "AI". LLMs have legitimate uses, but those uses are a drop in the ocean compared to what they're actually being used for. they enable our worst impulses while lowering the quality of available information, they give immense power pretty much exclusively to unscrupulous scam artists. they are the product of a society that values only money and doesn't give a fuck where it comes from. they're a temper tantrum by a ruling class that's sick of having to pretend they need a pretext to steal from you. they're taking their toys and going home. all this massive investment and hype is going to crash and burn leaving the internet as we know it a ruined and useless wasteland that'll take decades to repair, but the investors are gonna make out like bandits and won't face a single consequence, because that's what this country is. it is a casino for the kings and queens of economy to bet on and manipulate at their discretion, where the rules are whatever the highest bidder says they are-- and to hell with the rest of us. our blood isn't even good enough to grease the wheels of their machine anymore.

i'm not afraid of AI or "AI" or of losing my job to either. i'm afraid that we've so thoroughly given up our morals to the cruel logic of the profit motive that if a better world were to emerge, we would reject it out of sheer habit. my fear is that these despicable cunts already won the war before we were even born, and the rest of our lives are gonna be spent dodging the press of their designer boots.

(read more "AI" opinions in this subsequent post)

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Seven x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader is insensitive and an asshole since they're also a supe working at vought, your powers are the exact same as Deadpool (even the skin condition), mention about killing, death, gore, r-pe, n@zis?!?!, alcohol, some intimacy (?). Also reader is gn!!

ᯓ★ here's a version with the boys <3

HOMELANDER

This man hates you so fking much

Has tried to kill you multiple times, he tried lasering you, tearing you in half and even throwing you into the sky but you just always manage to come back like the damn plague

Eventually he gives up trying to kill you and just had to deal with the fact you'll be kept alive... just temporarily though... he's still looking for ways to kill you

However, your powers gave you dozens of advantages when around Homelander.

He can be having a meeting about something serious and everyone would be listening to him due to their fear towards him, then there's you who'd be doing your own thing and just shout out unrelated things like "Donald Trump just blocked me on Twitter!! HAH!! SUCK IT CORNFLACKS!!"

Everyone turning to you with startled expressions while Homelander simply rolls his eyes before continuing his presentation.

You are a complete nightmare to the PR team, that's why for interviews or any events, you'll always be paired up with Homelander so he can keep you under control and stop you from saying weird shit that could ruin the company's image.

"So Deadpool, how does it feel being in the Seven working alongside Homelander? You've been working together for almost 3 years now" A reporter would ask as you two are surrounded by screaming fans.

"Like I'm in the twilight series, not because of the fantasy but because I'm still waiting for the part where he impregnates me—"

"O-kay! That's enough, just silly ol' Deadpool with those inside jokes"

"You can tell in this eyes that he wants to fuck me right now. HE'S GONNA FUCK ME!!" You shouted as you're being dragged away by him.

Obviously when you had found out about his relationship with Stormfront, especially her background, you had to say some shit about it. Not giving the slightest care about the fact he could be grieving over her death.

He'll be in his room standing in front of the window and you'd just storm in, being as loud as possible.

"I can't believe you dated a N@zi!! Is it because I'm Jewish?!" Which may or may not be true, nobody knows your origin.

He may hate your guts but if he ever needs someone to help him do some dirty work, you're the person for the job, you never ask why or how, which could be the only thing he likes about you.

"Y'know, maybe if you didn't have such a big mouth, you'd be tolerable"

"All the people I've slept with have said otherwise"

Compatibility? 50%

STARLIGHT

Before she joined the Seven, she had an image of what kind of person you were, she just didn't know it was this worse.

When you found out she used to work at this Sunday School Church, you just haaaaad to say something about it.

"So like, you say that prayer always works, but every night I pray for my hair to grow and it never does. Do you think God has me blocked? How do I get unblock?"

"Uh..."

You two surprisingly get along without one wanting to slice the other's throat, except sometimes the things you say can really piss her off. Which is why when the company assigned her a new costume, she was trying her hardest to avoid you, but you found out anyways.

"Holy shit Starlight! Nice costume, is this your Miley Cyrus breakthrough? Girl power!"

Insert her groaning out of annoyance.

Again, the second you discovered she was dating a guy behind the death of Translucent, you were heartbroken :(

"Of course this happens right when my therapist gives up on me!"

Despite your behaviour, you pitied her when it was revealed that she was taken advantage of by The Deep, so like any good friend, you took revenge by cooking his friend octopus and eating it happily in front of him.

"Revenge does taste sweet" You'd say happily while Starlight just watches by the side, both grateful and horrified at your actions.

In my opinion, you would definitely be the person she goes to once she starts working with the boys, you'll always be providing whatever information that happens in the company for her to use.

It helps her worry less about getting anyone killed 'cause you literally can't die.

Compatibility? 60%

QUEEN MAEVE

You're half the reason why she rethinks about her life choices when she wakes up in the morning

Not because you're a handful (which you are) but because you're always paired together on missions

"Deadpool! The hostages!"

"OKAY! God... you act just like my drunk uncle"

Which is a joke/nickname you like to address her by because of her alcoholism (yikes)

Whenever the company needs you for something, half of the time she's the one assigned to search for you.

There was this one time she caught you trying to have Anika track down Kanye West's location, nobody knows what shenanigans you were up to.

Another thing to mention was that you two were chosen by the company to sing a Christmas song for the year's Christmas ceremony.

Just imagine during the bridge of the song, she's singing normally while you're completely going off, your high note so high you were sure you had Mariah Carey a run for her money.

Even though she finds you a lot to deal with, you're actually her buddy to train with.

Since you're very skilled with Katanas, she likes to practice her swordsmanship with you.

You like to tease or make fun of her everytime she fails to strike you which is good motivation for her to get better. Maybe you guys bring out the best of each other?

Last thing I'd like to add is when she was found out by the public that she was a lesbian (She's bi but you get the running joke), you had gifted her a t-shirt that says, 'Biggest Dick in Town'

Compatibility? 80%

THE DEEP

Your human punching bag

If Vought was a high school instead of a company, you'd be the bully and he'd be the nerd getting stuffed inside the locker room.

For example, Homelander could be confronting Starlight about her relationship with Hughie and everyone would just start raising their voices til you come in yelling "SHUT UP!" to the Deep who had not said a single thing during the entire time.

Just imagine him staring at you like 😐

To be honest you also ate his friend octopus so you guys are actually never getting the chance to make up.

"Look dude, I don't appreciate your tone"

"I don't appreciate your haircut either but we can't all get what we want"

You may be a crazy person but you weren't going to be okay with the fact he violates every woman he sees, so not only did you cook the octopus but you also called in a male stripper disguised as a woman just for him to celebrate on his birthday.

Just imagine him all happy when you tell him the news and later that night he'll run inside your room, completely pissed off at your act after finding out but you just laughed and said.

"Happy April Fools 😚!"

"That's next month dipshit!"

Also, you never understood his weird fantasies. He has a thing for sea animals??You've caught him multiple times either flirting or getting off to one. It was concerning even for you.

"From how many animals you've fucked, you might just turn from the ocean's 'Seaman' to 'Semen'." You joked which he did not find funny.

Maybe you messing with him could just be your way of getting along with him since you're the same with everybody else, it's just he has more flaws to poke fun of and he's sensitive about them.

Compatibility? 5%

A-Train

He thinks you're fucked up in the head.

Half of the shit that comes out of your mouth just has him reacting like in the GIF

Buuuuuut you're the one he always brings to the club because you always know ways to give the party life.

You've somehow even got on the wall of fame, a lovely portrait of you with your hands making out a heart.

Also, you know about his business with Compound V waaaaay before anyone else did. He's still grateful you didn't tell anyone.

Just like everyone else, you also enjoy messing with him except he's fast and constantly avoiding you.

"Hey A-Train, how much do you wanna bet that I can die faster than you?"

"Dude... seriously?"

You guys rarely get sent on missions together because you're always slowing him down, not basing off the fact he's fast but because you get easily sidetracked with other things.

"Alright, we're here now, how much C4 do we use?"

"Fuck math! Let's use all of 'em!"

You ended up detonating all of the C4 on you before he could object the idea, he was able to run out in time, your action nearly getting him killed while you ended up dead.

But it's fine you'll just grow back.

You know that race he has against Shockwave? You'd be at the VIP section standing near where Homelander and Queen Maeve is, waving your huge banner that has a picture of A-Train's face and yours pasted over a figure carrying the other in bridal style.

Compatibility? 55%

TRANSLUCENT

He makes people paranoid but you make him disgusted.

There was this one time he was bored so he snuck in your room to see what you were doing.

At first he was confused why you had so many cute plushies but then the more he explored your room, he realised your room is basically every collector's dream.

You even had a huge teddy bear in the corner of your dressing room.

The reason why he doesn't like to spy on you is because the last time he did, he saw you putting your hand in the blender, then proceeding to put your private part into it.

Never again, he thought, never again.

He doesn't need to witness you carry out your intrusive thoughts.

Surprising enough, you're close with his son, I'd like to think that after his death, you practically became the kid's godparent. Though you can be sort of a bad influence, leading up to how he is in Gen V.

You always tell him you hate kids but he thinks otherwise.

After all, he can read people well.

You guys like to pull pranks on each other since you guys like competing on who's more sneaky

There was this one time, you woke up to find your suit gone so you ended up walking around the building, completely naked and unfazed by people's stares.

It was when you walked around the corner that you found your suit worn by someone else, turns out it was Translucent under it.

"Why is it so fucking tight dude? How do you stay in this shit all day?"

"You get used to it"

Compatibility? 85%

BLACK NOIR

Lovers.

He doesn't mind your attitude because he actually can't say anything about it.

No seriously... he can't talk.

But hey he's got a good shoulder to cry on.

"I just... hffgh... I can't believe my album didn't surpass lady gaga's... She doesn't even know how to use Katanas like I do!" You'd let out a loud sob while he just stares at you for a while before placing a hand on your shoulder, patting you gently.

You know the scene where he's playing the piano for one of the company's party? You'll be laying down on top of it and singing in your usual overdramatic high pitched voice.

He finds your humour amusing so he always does this little head tilt like in the GIF when you say some weird shit while waiting for his response.

Since both of you are the only members of the Seven that wears a full body suit, obviously you had to try on his but since it was impossible to achieve that, you just had the company make a copy for you.

He'll be walking down the hallway doing his normal routine until he notises another person in his suit, the moment you speak and he realises its just you is when he let's his guard down.

"I just got some transplants done to my ass, that's why I look different"

You both are never sent on missions together 'cause you guys don't work well, pretty much nobody works well with him since he's the silent type.

Example, you two were hiding behind some crates ready to jump on the bad guys who were snucking in illegal drugs. He gestured for you to wait as he went to check again, only to turn back to see you gone.

"Marry Christmas motherfuckers!"

He heard your voice shout and he found you standing on top of the stacked crates, machine gun in hand and began shooting aimlessly.

He didn't even do anything but just watch until you ran out of bullets. However, multiple survived and began shooting at you so you ended running towards where he's hiding at.

"Yankee yankee!" You yelped.

You know the video of the two girls taking off their wigs to reveal that they're bald and they start bonding over it? I'd like to imagine that's you and Black Noir with the skin condition under the suits.

One more scenario I wanna add, you guys could be having a meeting but since you were bored and you always hated meetings, you'd draw a big heart on a piece of paper and show it to Black Noir from across the table. Surprisingly he'd draw a heart back to you.

You were overjoyed so you began to draw you and him doing it, doggy style. He stares at your doodle for a while before choosing to just focus on the meeting instead.

Compatibility? 90%

(This took a while cause I was on vacation)

[tbaluver]

When They're The MC Pt.2- The Love And DeepSpace Men

pairings in order: xavier x reader, zayne x reader, rafayel x reader, sylus x reader, caleb x reader summary: when you're the love interest and he's the mc genre/tags: fluff fluff + silly + slightly suggestive a/n: hihi lovelies ! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i planned on making a part 2 for this a while bc a lot of new content happened last time i made the first one! this time caleb is in this one! the first one will be linked down below if you didn't get a chance to read it hehe ♡(˃͈ ˂͈ ) enjoy reading ! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

Xavier is actually the lightest spender out of any of them. He occasionally spends a couple money on the Aurum Pass and sometimes buys the Promise whenever your cards are on there. He’ll buy a few packs here and there if he’s close to hitting pity

He would be curled up in his bed, clutching his plushie, pretending it’s you as he finishes the last chapter of your myth. He wishes the plushie he was holding was you, hoping in some way to comfort you in his head and him. He would find your story to be so beautifully written yet SO devastating. Xavier might not sleep for a couple hours after reading your lore, he’ll end up staring at his ceiling as he thinks about it again and again

Knows all about Stellactrum and how to build your character. He would know what stats your protocores need and is almost finished with you DeepSpace Trials

Wishes there was a sleeping quality time feature with you. He’s the type to tuck in his phone as your character and him go to sleep together

Places all your characters plushies on the shelf and the ones that you earned from the claw machine for your desk

The type to not wake you up whenever you’re asleep on the cafe couch. He would only talk to you when you’re up because he thinks you need your rest

Zayne:

He has a good amount of diamonds but is not afraid to splurge for you and your outfits

Lets you wear whatever outfit you want and lightly chuckles when you pull the most silliest combo ever. Sometimes when he’s playing at night he’ll change your outfit to pajamas. He’ll even take the accessories off so your character doesn’t get uncomfortable sleeping on the couch

Lore expert. Knows every single detail of your lore. He knows so much that he would notice the smallest detail in your clothing in your myth and how it connects to the story. He would love the details they put in your character

He didn’t think he could ever desire a character more deeply than he did after reading and watching your myths. You can’t tell from his face, well maybe from the way his brows furrowed and the slight frown on his lips after finishing it all, that he was going through it internally. His character and yours were doomed in each timeline and yet they both try again and again. Every detail of your story captivates him but after all that he needs to take a step away from the game and go for a walk.

He would have an organized desk with most of your things for your character rather than for his own indulgence. Places things on your desk that you might need like a tablet, or a computer, mug, a mirror, a lamp, etc, as if you were going to use the desk in game

Has literally no one to talk to about this game or your lore so he just simply likes and repost/ reblogs to posts he simply agrees on

Rafayel:

Flabbergasted. He joined this game for LOVE not DEPRESSION. Why is his mc killing you on the most important day ever? He’s literally talking to himself and swearing how he would NEVER do that to your character. He would stay in the bathtub curled up in a ball as he pouts for hours because of how sad he got from your lore. He'll let you play just a few rounds on the claw machine after reading your story.

He's wasting no time and he's poking and waking you up the moment he logs in the game

I’m sorry but he’s not letting you pick any outfits by yourself anymore after you chose the worst combo ever. He’ll give you another chance only for you to do it AGAIN. Therefore you lost all your chances to pick anything for yourself again

He would go all out on designing your desk. It would take him ages to decide where to place certain things but he wants to make sure it looked aesthetically pleasing for you

The type to glitch the poses of you and him together whether they were cute or very lewd. He knows how to work the lighting and the perfect angles for you and his character, making him have the most aesthetically pleasing photos out of anyone in the game

He doesn’t like how there’s 5 characters on the banners now and it’s not because he hates the other love interests but because it feels like the more characters there are, the more he’s losing his chances on bringing you home on a 50/50

Will scold you in the cafe when you don’t come home early or at all

Has the Aurum pass and the Heartfelt Vow Promise, only if the base for his title looks pretty. Also would just have a pretty profile in general

Y/N defender for life. People often misunderstand your character SO much from the main storyline saying how you abandoned him and you’re a meanie for selling him out. He’s not afraid to correct people and give them the right information.

Sylus:

Most definitely got your myth pair to R3 for the outfits because you looked absolutely badass in your ripped clothing. He does not need to worry about any upcoming banners from how much he already spent in this game. It doesn't even hurt his bank account

Never in his life did he think he would find such a character or your story to be so captivating and beautifully written, leaving him to feel so empty when he reached the end of your myth. However he did scoff when he saw the kiss scene in your myth fade out. As the myth reached its conclusion, he let out a deep sigh, staring at the screen until his reflection appeared on his phone, reflecting everything that just happened.

The type to immediately switch his nickname once he heard there was finally an update. He wanted to hear what you sounded like calling him sweetie, honey, baby, etc. It was just simply adorable that he caught himself smiling at his screen

He would get bored of the game so fast when he finishes the daily activities and finishes playing kitty cards and claw machines with you. He thinks there’s not much to do other than events and he already finished all your content and grinded whatever material he needs for you so there was nothing else to do.

Sometimes he’ll come back just to poke you and hear your voice and sometimes he’ll mess around in the glint photobooth to imagine more things with you.

Has a LOT of pictures of you and him together. Spends a lot of time in the glint photo booth especially after they updated it with new poses and the gazes. A couple photos found in his gallery are his characters in between your legs on the cafe couch

Takes a while decorating your office and hangs up his favorite pictures of you and him all over the hangs or the walls.

Would flex his R3 five star memories of you on his profile. They would all be maxed out

The type to actually use the mic feature whenever the game lets him use it to sing happy birthday or any other song depending on the event or any other card

Caleb:

Caleb had the game in the beginning to try it out and loved your character in the beginning only for them to yk...BOOM

But your character looked suspiciously a little too good for them to be an ‘npc’ so he was one of the strongest soldiers out there that waited weeks and months for you to be a confirmed love interest. He literally fought for his life in this fandom and he won at the end when you finally got released

Finally he has more content of you than just those four scenes

Day 1 Y/N Wanter and now Day 1 Y/N Haver

Was so into you being protective and possessive over him in the storyline. He could feel his cock twitch in his pants after you said that. He folded when you wanted to keep him there where you only wanted him for yourself. If only there was an ending for that option. 

Anyways, reading more into your lore and myths, he continued to feel bad for you. The way you had to go through so many things made his heart ache for you, if only your character could see the puppy eyes he had the entire time. One of the things he loved about his relationship with his mc’s relationship with yours was how they felt like a perfect match. He adored the storyline and how it conveyed and captured the nature of their bond, their love, the fear, and everything else. It only made him yearn for your character more.

It was already the first day of your release and he already almost has all your outfits. He didn't really spend money on this game before until you released. He just didn’t have enough chocolates to get the rest of them

He loves the 4 star cards with his mc and you but he gets jealous whenever he sees them together. Yes that is the mc but that’s not him. He wishes it was him instead

Most definitely jerks off to you working out and strokes to the smallest sounds you make. That small little gasp and whimper you make when he teases you in the cafe? Or just ANY sounds you make in general? Oh his cock is twitching in his pants. Sometimes he’d just cream his pants immediately

He'd actually take your suggestions and actually go out and try what you suggest to eat. Sometimes he'll just even cook it himself

He'd also use the workout feature to actually work out so he'd already have your workout outfit once 30 days passed

The type to get shy and flustered whenever he looks up and catches you making eye contact with him whenever he uses the work/ study feature

Bonus (ALL ): They all HATE the Wanderers that LOCK their health during a battle and the ones that do an animation before you can attack them.

ʚɞ cr. for the divider @/ cafekitsune

ʚɞ first part if you havent read it! it's only all four of them tho bc caleb wasn't out yet! ( xavier, zayne, rafayel, sylus ) When They're The Mc

ʚɞ my other works if you want to check it out! Love And DeepSpace Masterlist Pg. 2