#they're just really ... caretaker material

[3nyasu3]

guess who published a little krazyshipping fanfic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45573220

[joltrify]

experimentations ft. the Artpop queen herself

Silly little (not so little) unrelated HC I developed later under the cut

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

🎀- HC that EVE's most normal hobby - when not occupied with other things - is repainting dolls 🎀- Like in a blue moon you can catch her at the hobby lobby in mom jeans and a cardigan just looking for materials

★- In her down time (which is a bit rare these days) Nadia'll pick those ball-jointed Barbie/Bratz/MH dolls and give them a complete makeover ☆- While she's making them she's fervently thinking 'I will love you in a way that no one else EVER has' and she treats them all that way ★- She'll repaint them in the most unconventional ways possible but they're still gorgeous; a perfect reflection of her studio artwork on a body that isn't her own ☆- Sometimes if she's low on fabrics, instead of making a full-sized mockup of her exhibition fits she'll use her dolls to test the outfit design and make a mini version of the fit with small pieces of the final material ★- She's got this HUGE shelf on her pad that's got these fashion icon dolls displayed with their name and inspiration on a little plaque ☆- Whenever something significant happens and she doesn't want to paint, she'll hold onto the feeling, good or bad, and jot down an idea for a new doll's look ★- and she DOES truly love each of them - though she may have had to learn to love one in particular

🎀- She picked up the hobby in college (before she met Zuke) but didn't really think anything of it 🌸- It was just a means to practice different makeup looks and pencil techniques without sculpting something - and it was fun! She liked having a cute little gal at the end of the process 🎀- When she came up with the idea of using the dolls as models, she created a doll of herself but made the decision to make its skin completely white 🌸- When Nadia met Zuke, she sort of put the hobby aside to focus on her other art mediums, but she looked at the doll of herself and felt comfortable enough to repaint the right side pink (and she laughed a bit to herself looking at the final result, because it looked... Cute! Just like her other gorgeous dolls...) 🎀- After Rapturica, she didn't feel the need to create a doll based on her feelings as she didn't feel as hurt as she expected, but she did find it really, REALLY hard to look at the doll of herself, so she hid it away... 🎀- she picked up repainting again later but went in HARD - they began to look more artsy and alien, just like her other art pieces 🌸- After graduating she didn't really have time to repaint dolls and focused on creating other arts/music again, only occasionally using them to test outfits (but never the one of herself) 🎀- After the events of NSR though, she picked it up again as a form of self-care. It's something she doesn't have to create for the public eye, and she's rekindled the joy of creating a strange little gal and loving them despite their bizarre quirks. 🌸- ... I think she feels a bit more comfortable looking at the doll of herself now, too.

★- She's probably still got doll repaint videos up on her channel from her college days, hehe. ☆- (She's debating whether or not to make a mini exhibition about the concept of dolls.* Likely not, as she doesn't want to taint the tranquility of the act, but she still likes the idea. It's better to not mix work art with home art, anyway.) (* (How they can reflect their caretaker, they exhibit both confidence and vulnerability, they can be broken and discarded but repaired, they're still images that can be moved in a 3d space however you desire, they rely on a person to actually be 'real' ykyk that kind of thing. the symbolism of dolls.)

The doodle I made in the 3rd picture (above the cut) is inspired by those really pretty doll repaints... I think that that look in particular is one that she tested on a doll first... pre-ugly cry, that is.

Thanks for reading my very silly idea... decorated the bullets with Bows and stars because I felt like it, haha. Have a lovely day~🌸

[hestzhyen]

Already Waist-Deep

Hi internet void. Please allow me to kagura my bachi all over the place for a little bit. I've got a bad case of the brain worms about these boys that I haven't even had together for 20 chapters yet. Let me ramble a little bit about why they're already so compelling as not only a duo, but a ship.

First off, a caveat. Kagurabachi is a Weekly Shounen Jump (WSJ) action series. That means that if romance is ever addressed in the series itself, the protagonist is going to end up with a girl. Doesn't matter how underdeveloped or lackluster his relationship to her is, or how flat she is as a character. Invest lightly and come along for the ride without any expectations of m/m ships becoming canon. (That said, it might not be the worst thing in the world for our MC to end up with a girl in this case- more on that later.)

Second, I don't really ship that often. Not seriously at least. I need more than two guys being close with each other to start wanting them to be a pair, y'know? So I hope you understand the intensity of the material Hokazono-sensei has been giving us the past few chapters. I am on the brink of going all-in on HakuHiro/ChihiHaku in less than 20 chapters, it's that insane.

Third, I will be talking about current developments without marking potential spoilers. There are only 38 chapters out as of writing this, but there are at least two reveals that would be better appreciated going in blind. Spoilers for the oneshot Farewell! Cherry Boy are also a thing near the end.

Okay? Okay. Let's begin.

Who's Involved? First up is our protagonist Chihiro Rokuhira, an 18 year old boy and the son of a famous swordsmith. He was raised with genuine love and care by his father (no idea what happened to his mom yet), taking care of their day-to-day life while learning his father's trade. And from the very first chapter he is steeped in tragedy as he witnesses his father's murder and life's work being stolen. He then sets out on the long, fraught road of vengeance.

Sounds grim and not exactly compelling, right? Especially when this scene from the first chapter was making the rounds being memed to death:

But there's much more to Chihiro than meets the eye. Flashbacks to his time growing up show him being a natural caretaker to his dad and their fish- cooking meals, keeping his dad on task, and so on. We see glimpses of underlying tenderness when he meets and rescues Char, a sweet little girl with her own tragic past. And we get some insight that he might not be quite as resolute as he's projecting himself to be when he faces off against Sojo, a fan of his father who worships a much different version of the man than Chihiro knew. And now the Rakuzaichi arc has definitively shown us that Chihiro isn't as collected as he seems. One of his father's killers easily cracks the mask and shows us Chihiro is really just a desperate kid with a heaping helping of trauma, while Tenri's pointless sacrifice shakes him to his core. But despite it all he's still doing determinator things in the most badass way possible. Chihiro has layers, man. A lot of them. And the best way to understand our protagonist right now is through his foil: Hakuri Sazanami.

Who is Hakuri? Another 18 year old boy with a special lineage, but he's a loser who needs to be saved from common thugs. A pathetic guy who latches on to Chihiro and doesn't take the hint when Chihiro literally runs away to ditch him. An utter failure to his family. A lost puppy looking for a samurai.

Hakuri Sazanami is one of the best goddamn foils I've seen in shounen manga yet.

Let me tell you all the ways I love the writing around this kid and Chihiro because MAN I can't even contain all these feels.

What's Going On? From the start, Hakuri looks like he's just another person for Chihiro to bail out. He witnesses Chihiro's awesomeness fighting Sojo in the streets and decides to imitate it, standing up for a little girl being kidnapped. Instead of winning out, though, he's captured and kicked around. Once he's coincidentally rescued by Chihiro he's immediately all-in on tagging along and keeping Chihiro in his life. Look at this pitiful guy:

Chihiro decides to hear him out due to his connection to the Sazanamis, the Big Bads of the arc. He's initially put off by Hakuri's intensity but brings him along anyway, as Hakuri's insider information regarding the Sazanami family makes him useful. Then, as Chihiro wavers under Hiyuki's assault, Hakuri is truly useful for the first time:

And it only gets better from here. We see Hakuri hanging off Chihiro's every word trying to be as useful as possible for his samurai, striving to do anything he can, though it ends up with him forcing Chihiro to give up his precious sword Enten in exchange for his life. (Yes, Chihiro "buys" Hakuri from Hakuri's own family.) Later on during the invasion of the auction is where things go into overdrive though. We see their character arcs start to invert and shape each other's as the action unfolds and Hakuri's own tragic past comes to light, eventually awakening him to his special abilities. Chihiro's bravery and strength help him pull this off and finally defeat the older brother that tortured him in the name of "love". Hakuri ascends to being the strongest Sazanami since the progenitor started their line centuries ago. He's the Special Boy!

All this to say that Hakuri Sazanami isn't just a deuteragonist or a foil…

He's the goddamn heroine.

Kagurabachi's Built Different What makes a shounen series heroine? Firstly, they support the main character without getting involved in most of the heavy fighting. A shounen heroine will usually at most have a fight against another girl while the Big Event is happening nearby, making sure the main character has the spotlight. Second, most of the value they bring to the protagonist's story is emotional. They encourage him, validate him, provide a bit of a refuge for him to safely let his guard down. They can get him to express softer emotions that he wouldn't normally show around others. Third… they're the love interest. Ochako, Orihime, Chichi, and now… Hakuri? Really?

We know the third one will not happen for HakuHiro in canon. But what about the first two? Well, let's recap what Hakuri has done for Chihiro so far.

Hakuri can defend himself now, but his most useful ability is access to an interdimensional storehouse. Given the way that his magic works -he needs to prioritize maintaining the storehouse or using Isou- he'll likely be the means of keeping the enchanted blades safe rather than a front-line fighter. Support-centric character that will still get some combat time against lesser opponents: check.

Hakuri's given Chihiro some much-needed direct emotional validation that he hasn't gotten from anyone else yet. ("You saved me." … "That katana suits you.") Hakuri's words fortify his resolve and Chihiro later pays it back by trading Enten, an incalculably precious sword and memento of his father, for Hakuri's life. He even uses the same phrase when asked why he'd do that for someone as worthless as Hakuri ("That guy… saved me."). He later reaffirms that Hakuri's encouragement gave him the courage to let go of Enten in the first place:

We even see Chihiro open up to him for the first time just minutes after they met:

Chihiro's been a stoic good guy with buried trauma up until this point. But somehow Hakuri is the first person he outright admits his fears to- not Shiba, not Hinao, but the freaky kid he just rescued. Emotional support pillar: check.

"Well that's not enough!" you say. "That's just taking some moments and doing that thing you said you didn't do- smushing boys together just because they're close!" OK but look at how Hakuri thinks about Chihiro:

Chihiro has been his inspiration from the first time he saw him. It can be read as admiration and hero worship, but doesn't that feel like selling Hakuri's feelings short when remembering how devoted he's been since they first met?

And just look at Hakuri's face here, he's beaming when Chihiro busts in to save him just like he believed he would:

Mostly, though, Chihiro is the one who gives Hakuri strength in the moment. The Ice Woman broke him free of his family's mentality, and now Chihiro gives Hakuri what he needs most: hope. Something he never had before, which doomed his relationship to the Ice Woman; he couldn't prove to her that there was more to life than despair because that was all he knew… but that completely changed once he met his samurai.

And that's been their thing through this arc. Each one is giving the other the vital thing they needed to grow and keep going. When Hakuri was struggling at the start, Chihiro was his guiding light towards a better future. And when Chihiro struggled in the aftermath of Tenri's cruel death, Hakuri pulled him along so they could finish the job. They're in perfect sync now as they take down the Rakuzaichi. Don't just take my word for it, check out Hokazono-sensei's color page for the most recent chapter (38): https://twitter.com/KaguraShiba/status/1804898273859445181 From Hella (KaguraShiba): >Kagurabachi Ch 38 JP Color Page 「阿吽の呼吸で薙ぎ払え」 "Two people dancing to the same beat, mowing down enemies" >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Synchronized breathing >Or when people are the most in tune with each other >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Is a Buddhist expression in Japanese meaning something close to "harmonizing in sync together" >"Aun" is also used to indicate an "Aun relationship", indicating an inherently harmonious relationship or nonverbal communication Yeesh. But holy shit it's paying off. In chapter 38 these boys are already in harmony- Hakuri registers Chihiro into his storehouse (yes they both "own" each other now) and sends him in to fight his father. During the fight Chihiro trusts Hakuri to interpret his intent and it works. Chihiro wordlessly tags a bunch of grenades with his spirit energy and Hakuri pulls them out into the real world to bomb the shit out of the Rakuzaichi audience. They didn't plan this beforehand- they had no idea Kyoura had fucking grenades laying around in there. But they're close enough to understand each other's thoughts already. Peak soulmate material right there!

What's got me most interested now, though, is how they will pull/push each other after this arc. Chihiro's going to be focused more than ever on tracking down his father's killer and the swords. But Hakuri, well… I think it would be very interesting if he starts to become a despair monster. A reflection of Chihiro's state at the very start of the manga where nothing mattered to him except exacting revenge. We're seeing shades of this in the most recent chapter (38) where he's slumped over and obviously depressed about how all this is turning out. He's going to end his family's cruel trade but at what cost to himself? Will Chihiro see some of himself in Hakuri and be able to help him out, or at least promise to find relief from the pain together? Obviously a Bad End where Hakuri takes himself out is in the cards given Hokazono-sensei's previous works but… on a meta level, I think his storehouse ability will keep him relevant. I mean yeah he could be used to slap Chihiro across the face by showing what a bad end for his revenge story could look like but I think (hope) that won't happen. [Note to future self: I give you permission to go batshit insane if Chihiro stops Hakuri from committing sudoku.]

And this is where my brain worms are coming from. In just under 20 chapters we have an extremely strong set up between them- so much room for them to teach each other; push to grow and pull back from the brink when tragedy strikes again.

But where's the real meat, you ask? The actual literary analysis in this gushing rant about how much I love these boys I barely know? Well, fine. Buckle up because it's time for some…

Daddy Issues The Rakuzaichi arc really digs into comparing Chihiro's affection for his dad to the Sazanami family structure. And I gotta talk about this because it's the key aspect that makes Hakuri such a brilliant foil.

First off, the similarities. Chihiro and the Sazanami kids are all intensely devoted to their fathers. All of them were raised with love while learning the intricacies of their family trade. We see the Sazanami kids getting praised for doing well, just like Chihiro. Hakuri and Tenri were even told they were special. During the arc, the Sazanami kids put their lives on the line to defend their dad and family legacy with zeal matched by Chihiro's intensity to avenge his dad. When he falls, Tenri's final words are apologizing to his father.

It's truly heartbreaking that the Sazanami's dad never loved them back.

You see, the Sazanamis are one of those families that put their lineage and craft over everything else. Every member of the family lives for ensuring the Rakuzaichi auction goes off without a hitch. One of the clan is chosen to inherit the storehouse and the rest are trained to defend it to the death. Kyoura, the current patriarch, has no compunctions about letting his son Tenri die just to delay Chihiro and the gang for a few more minutes. He had his kids put their lives on the line to defend a storehouse door that he had already broken in secret- making it completely useless. And he's equally cold when it comes to children who can't perform to standards like Hakuri. Once Hakuri (apparently) fails to manifest an ability for sorcery, Kyoura turns a willfully blind eye to the abuse his kid starts to suffer. He knowingly lets Hakuri be tortured by his older brother for years and does nothing, then disowns him once some "merchandise" kills herself in front of him. There's no love for children who can't be useful to the family's traditions. And any love that does exist between father and child is manipulated as seen here:

What the fuck man.

So Hakuri is going into this arc firm in his conviction to end his family's evil ways. He's been abused physically and emotionally for at least six years straight; he knows his father doesn't love him. And even now when he's about to bring the whole place down with Chihiro he's still yearning for his dad's praise. Hakuri's family is fucked up bad and he needs a hell of a lot of healing after all is said and done.

Meanwhile, every flashback with Chihiro shows us that he was truly loved and cared for like every kid deserves. His dad wasn't perfect but he was exactly what a parent should be- kind, understanding, and supportive. His goofy advice helps Chihiro to this day. Chihiro and his dad had a genuine father-son bond that was broken by tragedy and thus Chihiro's desire to do right by his father's memory is driven by grief, first and foremost. So when we see his expression after Tenri's death, we know why he's so badly shaken. They clashed out of love and duty for their fathers, supposedly prepared to pay the ultimate price. But the Sazanami version of "love" is a very different, much less wholesome version than the kind Chihiro knows… yet no less effective in terms of motivation.

You can practically hear his heart breaking for Tenri. And his inner thoughts in the next chapter say it all: he was naive to think he could enact revenge while holding fast to the kindness he grew up with. Chihiro's kindness that he learned from his father is a liability to him in this situation. Meanwhile, Hakuri knew from the start that he had to finally give up the last of his familial affection. He hardened his heart and steeled his resolve to do whatever it took.

Both Chihiro and Hakuri knew what it was like to be loved. Hakuri's version might have been twisted, but it was still painful to have that bond suddenly broken. And now we've seen Edgy Revenge Man's inner softness hold him back while Silly Soft Guy has a heart colder than the arctic. I go absolutely feral comparing and contrasting their situation and how their positions have reversed. Yeah, Chihiro's going to be the action guy who saves the day but Hakuri's the reason he can do it. Hakuri's surprisingly strong core has pushed Chihiro to put his feelings aside to get things done. I can't fucking wait to see how this arc ends and where these boys end up. What will the the most important thing Chihiro takes away from Hakuri here? I hope it leads him to be a bit more openly compassionate and soft around his allies- Hakuri's situation being a lesson in not letting your family's bonds overtake everything else. For Hakuri, well… I think being around Chihiro, Char, and the rest will help him heal. But I hope it's Chihiro that keeps him stable as the person that can relate to him best.

Meta Ramblings Whew. Now then… Yo dumbass writing this, we're not even 40 chapters in yet. Don't you think it's a bit too soon to start getting hyped for a character that could be shelved as soon as the arc is done?

It's interesting to see the themes and characters Hokazono-sensei's reused in Kagurabachi. From the four one-shots available to read, it seems like he's is interested in writing about characters encountering tragedy through various kinds of love. I think it's intriguing that three out of the four end in despair, and the one that doesn't still involves a fair bit of sadness. It's a bit early to say about Hakuri's circumstances since this is only the second proper arc in the series, but given Hokazono-sensei's past works, I think Hakuri is here to stay. For one, Hokazono-sensei seems to love his color-coded foils (Chain, Enten, Roku no Meiyaku). Farewell! Cherry Boy also explores the circumstances of a blindly loyal boy who feels useless being given his first chance to prove himself… I think this is a theme that Hokazono-sensei is revisiting in a more in-depth fashion with Hakuri, so there's a good chance there's more planned.

And just for fun, if we want to look at his romance stories… Madogiwa de Amu is all about one person being the other's greatest hope, their reason to persevere in the face of hardship and seeing that reciprocated in turn. Complete with the weaker person becoming strong enough to protect the person who inspired them first. Hmm. (Hopefully it doesn't end the same way though 'cause man, I can see Hakuri doing something similar right now…) It's also not impossible for Kagurabachi to touch on love given we see Farewell! Cherry Boy incorporating love as the crux of the narrative, despite starting as a gangster story. The true MC is quite like Chihiro as well in terms of motivation and action plan.

I also think it's impossible to overstate how important it is for Chihiro to have a friendly peer to compare to, narratively speaking. Char is a woobie, Shiba's an uncle figure, and Hiyuki is set up to be the aggro rival/frenemy. Hinao could become more than a side character but it seems unlikely at this time. Chihiro needs someone his own age to just be himself with. And that, I am 99% sure, will be Hakuri. A guy who's suffered just as much as he has. Someone who knows what it's like to have a famous last name and lineage to protect. An equal who's unquestionably on his side, who will lift him up when he's down, will need some protection and care. So yes I think Hakuri will be sticking around to be Chihiro's foil. He might take a back seat at times as heroines do, but he'll still be there to support our sad boi through thick and thin.

Anyway that's why I'm ready to jump feet-first into this ship. It's got all the hallmarks of a wonderfully strong bond and I hope we get to see these boys comforting each other for years to come. If you read all this… thank you? Maybe get yourself checked for brain worms? And tell everyone you know to read this amazing action-packed tragedy laced with BL crack cocaine.

[skylinesnsunshines]

jude bellingham reading: as a boyfriend

hi everyone! i got a request to do a reading on jude as a boyfriend so here I am delivering it! I'll try my best to be consistent when it comes to posting so please be patient cause my life is quite hectic ty <3

personal readings

DISCLAIMER: this is all speculative and for entertainment purposes only, so take it with a grain of salt :)

(italicised is the card on the bottom of the tarot deck which is meant to represent the subconscious/blind spot of the situation + rx means reversed)

6 of pentacles, 7 of pentacles rx, 4 of wands, the empress | victim | gemini: curiosity, intellect and networking | turtle

jude is someone very generous when he is in a relationship, wether that'd be with time, affection, but mainly materially. i see jude as a provider, as he seems to have an innate want to take on the provider role in the relationship. his gemini venus tells me that he is happy having his s.o pursue their dreams, however, he'll be a safety net for them to retreat, as he loves to provide. the 7 of pentacles rx could indicate that he could be never satisfied with his material wealth, could have a scarce mindset and feels a burden to always provide. i think he has this need to feel wanted and has a mindset where he always needs to chase. there's this feeling of feeling stimulated by always working towards a goal. 7 of pentacles rx tells me jude could be someone who struggles to leave even if the relationship isn't working out. he's someone who could struggle with codependency, as when he's invested in something/someone, he will give his all sometimes to his own detriment. jude is a private lover, and prefers to not have his romantic life in the limelight. he could be very protective, and pursue those who he can build a home/family with. someone who gets along with his family could be very important to him as well. i feel that jude also prioritises people who he can create a safe home environment with. he looks for people who feel "home" to him however that may be. jude observes what his person is like when they're with his friends/family, as their opinion could influence his perception of his s.o. i see him as a social butterfly in a relationship, constantly wanting to do dates that involve others or do domestic activities such as cooking or baking. he loves celebrating and enjoying life, and ultimately loves creating memories and experiences with the people he cherishes most. jude can be someone who takes on a nurturing role in the relationship, i think this characteristic is innate within him due to him being the eldest in his family. he's got a softness within him and is willing to put others before himself.

with the victim card, this tells me jude's a bit of a pessimist and this tells me that whenever there's conflict in the relationship he could resort to a victim mentality. this isn't necessarily negative though, as this tells me his energy in love is still inexperienced (makes sense cause he's only 20). his energy can seem a bit hot and cold in a relationship due to his gemini venus, but this isn't malicious, he just enjoys having activities and independence outside the relationship. jude seeks intellectual stimulation from his partner and looks for someone he can have a playful relationship with. as a partner, he could really enjoy banter, he could want someone that could be his verbal sparring partner and enjoys a relationship that starts from a friendship. jude could also enjoy networking with his partner's friends as well. he has a lot of curiosity when he's with his partner, and loves getting to know them to their core. the turtle is an interesting figure, as it describes an ancient soul who is grounded, trusting and is at home with themselves. this describes that jude is an individual who seeks adventure and is peaceful and adventurous, there's also a duality to him as he is still figuring out himself yet has a lot of wisdom from within. he can take on a mentor or caretaker role in a relationship as those traits seem natural to him.

so that's it for the reading! let me know if you have any feedback, questions or requests! my askbox is always open for a chat as well <3 sending you love and light always :) hope you enjoyed!

[poetry-protest-pornography]

There's been a lot of "this character is so selfish" (mostly about Ray, but I already tried about that), and like. That's the point.

They're all selfish in their own way.

They're 22, they're all financially comfortable, they're emotionally illiterate.

Cheum and Mew have cast themselves as superior to the rest of their friends, and treat them all accordingly.

Cheum sees herself as a good friend, as a caretaker, as the one with their shit together; the rest of them are useless fuck ups. She can't even not complain about April-- who is basically perfect, because April wants validation for her movies, and Cheum doesn't get them, so she's annoyed at having to watch. She's constantly talking shit about her friends.

Mew thinks his not chasing sex and relationships makes him superior to his friends. He introduced them all in unflattering ways, while holding himself above them. He doesn't really see them as people, they're characters in his life, and that means he can't see them for who they are. And all this is before his revenge fantasy kicked off and he actively manipulated and used Ray.

Ray's addiction makes him selfish. He wants to be loved so he goes where he thinks he'll get it, even if it's not good for him. When you spend so much of your time trying to numb yourself, it's hard to see anything beyond that. He's still generous with his care and his money, but he doesn't share a lot of himself with most people in his life.

Sand let his need for revenge on Top drive him to do something that he knew would hurt Ray, and used Ray's feelings against him to do it. He lied to Nick and went through his phone.

Boston can't see much beyond his dick, and where his next orgasm is coming from, and even though he isn't particularly fond of anyone in his friend group, he plays the part while purposely doing things to hurt and work against them. He uses Nick's feelings to string him along so he has someone who will provide all the trappings of a relationship without having to commit to someone.

Nick went through Boston's phone multiple times, including before they knew each other for jerk off material. He was so focused on getting Boston to be his that he recorded him and Top, and then told Sand about it, which led to that whole confrontation -- Nick knew about Sand and Ray, and about Ray knowing Boston and Mew at this point, he had to know that that wasn't staying secret. Also, I think it's possible-to-likely that Nick is at least subconsciously manipulating Boston into moving his commitment line every time Nick mentions he might start seeing other people (a friend read this theory and I'm obsessed with it, going to rewatch with this in mind. If you're op of this idea, please lmk!)

Top... Top let petty jealousy over something that Boston-- who he doesn't trust -- told him happened convince him that having sex with Boston again was fine. And then he lied about it, and he consistently used the same "I win you lose" type of language about Mew that Boston does. (I know Top feels bad now, but I don't think he really realized that he loved Mew until Mew dumped him)

They're all dicks in certain ways and circumstances. They're all selfish and self involved and messy.

That's the show, friends. None of your faves are unproblematic. They've all got something that makes them sympathetic to varying degrees, too, but this is about a group of messy bitches who are struggling to keep themselves together, and to hold onto what appear to be the only relationships any of them have without destroying each other (which means lying, or hiding, or ignoring important things).

This is literally just a group of college kids, y'all. And they're here to hurt our feelings and entertain us.

(And maybe let's especially stop calling out the addict with mental health issues for being irredeemable and bad, eh?)

[tachimichishrine]

"high school"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

doa + hunting dogs {high school AU! hcs}

warnings: none!! just keep in mind this isn't an xreader!!

decay of angels

nikolai is, without question, the class clown, and head of the drama club

the teachers HATE him

he asks waaaaaay too many questions, and all the time, too

and they're so random???

they'll be in the middle of a test and he'll ask the teacher "how's your marriage doing right now? how's your partner, are they doing well?"

lowkey gets kicked out of the class daily

now spends most of his time playing cards with the secretary in the office

bram sometimes gets sent there as well, just because he's in the mood to take a nap

however, he doesn't really say that, he'll make up some kind of excuse like "oh it's my medical condition, I have limited energy" because he's paraplegic, even if it's bs

he's also that one edgy kid who sits in the back of the class discussing the end of the world

he??speak??so??oddly??

"death cometh for thou," like dude okay no need to talk like that???

the only person who actually understands what he says is fyodor, the reigning chess champ in the school

he's also very tired all the time, but he doesn't sleep, he'll just answer a few questions here and there if he's forced to, just to shut up the teacher

does the absolute bare minimum effort to pass class because he thinks it's all useless

"you have great potential, and I'm sure you understand all the material, fyodor, so with just a bit of effort-"

"thank you for the advice."

gets up and leaves 💀

fukuchi is the gym teacher that yells all the time and tells students to do pushups just because he feels like their face is mocking him

everyone either loves his class or dreads it

nikolai is fine, he's not all that athletic but he can run pretty decently and, worst case scenario, he just needs to bug the teacher and get sent to the office again to complete his game of poker with the secretary

fyodor hates gym class

with a burning passion

I CAN'T EVEN ENVISION HIS STICK-LEGS RUNNING PROPERLY SKJGKSJFG

hides under any large object and waits it out

bram is in a wheelchair so he just smugly looks at coach like "haha sucker!", only to be given dumbbells and told to do upper body workouts

now, fyodor and bram are hide-from-gym-class buddies

sigma is in preschool

yk since he's like 3 years old-

CHUBBY CHEEKS

he's so precious unlike all the other toddlers, but he does cry a lot

A LOT

LIKE WAY TOO MUCH

"sigma, you have to share your blocks with our friends, okay?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

the caretakers still love him tho

BABY SIGMA BABY SIGMA BABY SIGMA BABY SIGMA

hunting dogs

jouno and tecchou are the upperclassmen, which is surprising given how many braincells they share between them

jouno is hands down the pretty popular jock on campus and all the girls FALL TO THEIR KNEES

he does get in trouble every once in a while for bullying people or threatening them, but he has practically seduced the principal at this point, so it's no biggie

tecchou is that one kid who raises their hand in class and gets everything wrong

he's great in gym class, though, seeing as he likes to work out in his spare time

some girls try to approach him while he's doing his own thing and staring at the ground but he's like "wait."

"...wait? for what?"

"the ants"

"...the ants???"

"you were about to step on them."

girls have now stopped trying to approach him

tachihara is the Bad Boy™ with Family Issues™ and Inferiority Complex™

he gets in trouble A LOT

unlike Nikolai, it isn't for harmless questions or disturbing the class, it's for beating up someone else and egging someone's locker and placing a pin on the teacher's chair and-

needless to say, the teachers hate him with a burning passion

he's taking teruko as his apprentice in chaos, given she'd be around two year younger than him

she doesn't get in trouble bc (assuming this is a different school and everything) the gym coach fukuchi defends her in front of the school staff ALL THE TIME since she's his favorite student

she's surprisingly good at most subjects, except...

m a t h 

she screams and throws a full-on tantrum by tossing her math book outside the window then setting it on fire because this girl CANNOT survive variables and constants and graphs and parabolas

fly high, math notebook 😞✊🕊

[pommunist]

Maybe I'm a little bitter. Perhaps.

But it does frustrate me when people claim BBH was the ONLY one who cared for all the eggs.

I feel like it takes away from all of the parents efforts on the behalf of all of the eggs safety. I remember when every hand was on deck at every moment for every kid at a moments notice.

Yes. He played the most, therefore he had literally every material needed and all the enchants and all the armor you could ask for. But to claim he was the best and only one who cared isn't fair to the other parents.

They gave all they could at any time they could for those kids.

They'd drop everything to take care of them.

Idk, maybe I'm just irritable after everything going on but it's kinda driving me crazy.

Yes I know he was THE babysitter. Yes I know he spent a ton of time with every egg. But comparing his time played to other parents who gave all they could is fucked up.

I saw people claiming he was a better dad than so many parents and saying things like "they're basically his eggs anyways"

Also. No. He wasn't there for every single eggs departure.

He wasn't there for Chay.

Yes I know he wanted to be. But couldn't due to schedules ect ect.

and while he said goodbye to lullah the day before he ALSO didn't send her off.

Again, maybe I'm fucking bitter. But this Fandom for some reason always seemed okay with dismissing Chay all the time. From his admins being changed up to playing multiple roles.

He just wasn't as important to so many fucking people and I think I'm gonna stay mad about that for a while.

I'm aware that he's done a lot. I'm not saying he hasn't.

But holy shit, give credit to others besides bbh. He's spectacular reguardless, genuinely a great guy. But holy shit this has been bothering me.

Tbh i’ve seen many people say Bbh cared for all the eggs but not that many who’ve said he was the only one ?

I think I agree in the sense that QSMP fandom sometimes tends to label anything as a parental relationship when it doesn’t need to be?

Like sometimes a caretaker doesn’t have to be a parent sometimes a caretaker is just the neighbourhoods demon babysitter and that doesn’t mean the relationship is less than or more than a parental one. One of my favourite aspects of qsmp is that family took many many many forms and it doesn’t have to be labelled as parent/child always.

To draw a comparison, I know there are some people who were upset Bbh adopted Pomme but I never minded it, I just wish more people had taken interest in her relationship with the french speakers, but I still don’t mind all the talk around her relationship with qBbh

Also I kinda like that Chay’s and Talullah’s admins goodbyes were only with Philza, death family forever ! Plus the eggs being gone happened in very specifics and weird conditions, that can’t only be analysed through an in character eye.

But I agree Chayanne is a very under appreciated egg, personally i really like the little guy :(

[piratefishmama]

IM OBSESSED WITH THE NEST FICLET. Im literally screaming. I READ it in one go and I can't wait for another chapter. It's so good!!! I love that eddie's the omega and steve's the alpha. <3 and the idea is so sweet! I wonder how they will handle their feelings during Eddie's heat. 😋😋😋<3

I HAVE MY SOLID REASONS FOR MY OMEGA/ALPHA HEADCANONS, and tbh they're flexible depending on how i feel on the day.

but

Eddie should be an omega in my OWN opinion because:

and nobody has to agree.

He voluntarily has this whole little pack of people younger than him, his own lil pups, adopted cause he's not gotten laid (YET, he stands firm on it being YET, it'll happen he's sure of it, someday) but he has pups so he's content.

His room is a cluttered chaotic mess of things. Are they all his things? maybe, maybe not, that room could easily be messy because he's keeping things within reach so he can easily make a nest out of all that stuff when the need strikes.

He saw two scared freshmen and decided "imma adopt them" and then did. He's more in touch with how people are feeling, and able to comfort them without being too overbearing or pushy, emotions may be tricky but he's really good at the soft ones that make people feel comforted when they're upset, he's good at being silly to make people laugh. He's soft.

He's touchy, and struggles with keeping to personal space. He bundles up in layers upon layers for comfort rather than preening and dressing solely to look good.

While he's loud, and expressive, he's also very quick to hide in a corner when shit gets real scary, pls someone protecc him.

Steve should be an alpha in my own opinion because:

He has followers. People who crowd around him just to bask in his popularity. Not people he adopted, just people who want to be him, want to be like him. King Steve. He has natural charisma. He's a presence that stands out.

He's a tank of a human being. He takes hit after hit after hit that should definitely take a person out but he just keeps coming back.

He's a caretaker in bed, protective, and comforting, mf held Nancy's hand good lord, yet he's still in charge, he's on top.

His pack adopted him, yet they still look to him as the protector, he wasnt adopted like a beta without a pack, he is an alpha, they didnt have an alpha, he's now their alpha.

He makes sure he looks good, his hair is always on point, his skin looks good, his body is always in good shape (soft but the type of softeness hiding those muscles that make you bite your own fist), he's trying to impress people, omega's dont need to impress, they need to be the ones impressed.

He doesnt seem to need a lot of material possessions, doesnt have enough clutter or personal belongings to make a nest, and he doesnt seem to put much thought into keeping other peoples belongings either.

Like i know we like to HC that the vest is in Steve's closet, but if it was left upto Steve, it's absolutely been left either in that RV, or in a random corner in The Warzone. One of the kids might have grabbed it after he left it, but if Steve was on his own? It's gone.

-----------------------

there's a lot of ambigious traits too that could be placed in both the Alpha or the omega column, but the majority of actual canon behaviours rather than the fanon people shove on these boys (Mr 'Oi Shitheads!' Steve yelling at the kids for bad language? Or Mr 'imma hide in this boat and scamper like a weird lil wet cat away from my problems' Eddie being big and domineering? C'mon man)

they paint a fun little picture.

like i said, these are MY own headcanons, my own interpretations, y'all dont have to agree with any of it. That's the beauty of omegaverse,

The canon is made up and the rules dont matter.

[jump-in-the-whump]

Hi, it's me again :3

First of, I just wanted to say that I've loved whump for a while, and you're the first person I read whump from, so just--thank you for whumping all this time :)

For my ask: Could I get a stoic whumpee and a near-emotionless caretaker who is under oath to protect whumpee? Caretaker is well trained is survival, such as building a fire, and perhaps when they see whumpee shivering, caretaker tells whumpee that they'll make them a fire. Said whumpee feels challenged, so they tell caretaker that they'll do it themselves. I just like Whumpee being unable to do it, and, even though they're getting really frustrated, they keep trying--

And eventually caretaker has do it for them.

Hello! Ahh, thank you so much for your kind words <3

Sorry to be this late, I hope you like it!

--------------------------------------------------------

Deep in the heart of a dense forest, Caretaker and Whumpee found themselves in the midst of a long journey. Caretaker was an adventurer with a repertoire of survival skills, quite accustomed to undertake this kind of challenges. Moreover, Caretaker was used to be alone, as they weren’t the type to create bonds, so being in the middle of the forest with Whumpee wasn't exactly their cup of tea. But Caretaker just couldn't break the promise they made long ago, the promise to protect Whumpee at any cost.

Caretaker’s keen eyes scanned the surroundings, assessing the situation, as Whumpee struggled to keep up pace. Caretaker sighed, rolling their eyes. “Would you mind moving? It's getting dark out here.”

“I-I’m trying m-my best… I-I'm not a m-machine l-like you!” Whumpee replied snorting, their teeth chattering and their lips trembling.

Now, if it had been up to Caretaker they would have continued walking all night, the sleep and cold certainly weren’t a problem for Caretaker. But for Whumpee…

Upon noticing Whumpee's shivering form, Caretaker broke the silence that had settled between them. “Alright, we’ll stop for now. I'll make you a fire,” Caretaker declared with confidence, their hands deftly collecting dry leaves, twigs, and branches.

However, Whumpee, prideful and perhaps feeling a bit challenged, responded with determination, “I-I can do it m-myself. I-I don't n-need your he-help.” Ignoring the chill that seeped into their bones, Whumpee began fumbling with the gathered materials, attempting to emulate Caretaker's expertise.

Caretaker watched patiently, a small smile playing on their lips as Whumpee struggled to spark a flame. “Look, you don't have to play mikado, you just have to light a fire...” Caretaker smirked.

Whumpee glared daggers at Caretaker and their frustration grew, but their determination remained unwavering. They had to prove themselves, to show that they were not entirely dependent on Caretaker's skills. “I can do this,” they muttered through gritted teeth, refusing to admit defeat.

Time went by and despite their best efforts, Whumpee's attempts were futile, they were getting so cold that their hands were losing feeling and they were even unable to hold the wooden sticks.

“Ah come on! Give me that!” Caretaker, sensing Whumpee's struggle, finally intervened, their experienced hands swiftly turning the scattered elements into a roaring fire.

Whumpee, a mix of relief and embarrassment etched on their face, stared at the flames flickering in the darkness. “I could have done it,” they muttered defensively.

“Yeah, sure thing…” Caretaker growled, shaking their head and sitting in front of the fire beside Whumpee.

As the warmth from the fire enveloped them, the tension between Caretaker and Whumpee dissipated. Together, they sat by the dancing glow of the flames, a silent understanding forming between the two.

[deadbydangit]

I've been loving your "reader brings an animal home" posts. When you get a chance, can you please write the same for Nurse, Pig, and Plague? Very interested to see what animals you'll pick! Thank you!

Absolutely! These are all loosely based on animals I would bring home. Please enjoy. Sorry if this one wasn't as good. I had it written out and then it was all deleted.

With a reader who brings an animal home

Nurse, Pig, Plauge

Pig

A pig?

Really?

"Cute. Real cute."

Yeah because she's a pig and you brought home a pig.

Haha, very funny.

She's more annoyed than anything.

This is the kind of joke someone like Ghostface would make.

She doesn't expect that kind of childish behavior from you.

Whatever.

It's yours to take care of, she wants nothing to do with it.

Until you hear a training one day.

"What? Pigs are like, really smart. He needs mental stimulation."

"Well, it's not like you're training him or anything."

And now Amanda is training your pig to find materials for making traps.

She's completely taking over the role of caretaker now.

On her rare lazy days, you'll see Amanda sleeping with her piggy.

You can bring it up to her, telling her about a time when she really didn't want the pet.

"Yeah, Yeah. You can rub that in my face all you want."

She's willing to admit she was wrong about that.

Nurse

Believe it or not, Sally would absolutely be the one to bring an animal home.

She has an affinity for cute fluffy little critters.

So coming home and finding her cradling a ferret shouldn't come as that much of a surprise.

"But I found him all alone in the cold."

"You would make me put him back would you?"

"All by himself where a big mean animal could eat him?"

She's not trying to gaslight you.

Okay, she's absolutely trying to gaslight you.

But Sally looks so happy.

How could you take that away from her?

You just can't.

Soon she'll be knitting little outfits for her new pet.

Oh, and there will be a stroller for it.

"Aw, he's just a baby, see?"

Even if it's a full-grown ferret.

She's a bleeding heart for cute little things.

Don't be shocked when you walk in and see four more ferrets.

"What? He needs a family. Just like us."

And then more of the: "You won't make me put them back, right?"

But, in all honesty, she does take very good care of them.

They're her children.

They are your family.

Plague

You brought a goat home.

A goat.

You don't even have to ask her.

Because the moment she saw the goat, she was groveling at its feet.

Remember, her god?

The sea goat?

Yeah.

She's already dashing around the house finding expensive foods and fine clothes to give to this goat.

"It's a descendant of the sea god!"

"We are being blessed s/o!"

Yes, the goat is sleeping in the bed.

No, you can not get mad if the goat eats the sheets.

First person to eat during breakfast?

The goat, obviously.

She might be getting a little too hyped up about it.

This animal is like a spoiled rotten puppy.

And it knows it.

Adris let's get away with way too much.

So much so that she might scold you for scolding it.

But you can't deny that she's not happy.

Seeing her snuggle up with a little goat makes her seem so much more alive.

She had it rough enough in her life, let her have this little sliver of happiness.

[puppy-phum]

7.7.2023 (1, 2) – Last Twilight Filming

+ bonus: The first look on Night

I doubt I will be posting all the preview pictures like this, but I might occasionally drop some here as Tumblr and my own blog are both my archive and my safe space. So welcome on this journey with me if you choose to follow along ♥

I also try to keep away from talking too much about my own opinions and expectations when it comes to this series bc I don't really have much to add to the general discussion. Also, I hate to be known like that. But I wanted to share a few thoughts on these pictures nonetheless.

First of all, I am extremely curious about the whole mood change we can notice in these pictures. The warm and soft yellows in the trailer have changed to these stark and cold blues and grays. I know this most likely won't be their final look as the actual filmed material will go through coloring and editing in the post-production process, but these colors on set and in their styling are definitely a choice. I'm personally expecting this to mean the story will hit even harder, though I also think that was a given either way. They're out to murder us, I'm just saying.

I love what this change has done to Mork however. I've seen a lot of people on Twt say they don't really approve Jimmy's new hairstyle and that they cannot recognize the character of Mork without the longer hair, but I'm stoked. He looks worse, in a good way, than he did in the trailer. He's sharper, rougher from the edges. I can see that he can be even mean like this if he wants to, and I was kind of expecting the beginning of MorkDay's story to be based on some level of distaste or even hostility towards each other. Mork is not a natural caretaker and Day doesn't really want to be taken care of so I'm excited to see what will become of that.

(Also I will not talk about Mork with his bike bc my brain is just empty when it comes to that. You point that picture out to me and all you can hear are crickets. Though my brain will insist that the one in that picture is Wai which I find hilarious.)

With Day, I'm a bit more indecisive. I'm honestly surprised how much he suddenly changed from the trailer and how much the feeling I get from him changed when they decided to put these colder colors on him. Sea's hair is styled down which somehow makes me think about an anime character, and it doesn't help that he's dressed in those black shirts/jackets? with the stickup collar. (The blue stripe in that second picture makes me think about Connor from Detroit: Become Human which. Not an AU I thought I had in me lbh.) I am not against it though. He looks younger if colder, and with the casual t-shirts, he has this almost child-like feeling to him. Makes me think that Day will be a bit of a brat. I love that for us.

My biggest grievance currently is that they apparently changed the actress for Day's mother. I love the lady they had in the trailer and I was honestly so excited to see her working with JimmySea. She has, after all, played some of my favorite mothers in Thai BLs (Ayan's mother in The Eclipse, Mon's mother in GAP, and Junior's mother in Bad Buddy). I like her face and she has this very warm and gentle feeling to her. Maybe changing her out also had something to do with the overall mood switch, we will have to wait and see.

Overall very excited to see what actually happens in this. Also excited to see other locations than just Day's house but I guess we will have to wait for that for a while. Same with anything softer which I'm not against bc the first hint of intimacy between MorkDay will probably make me pass out.

[tss-whumper]

*materializes into existence*

Hi :D

Inspired by your whump tss fics!

Anyway, mayhaps an idea: Whumpee is very distrustful of everyone, even after being rescued. The only person who can come close to them without them getting very tense is Caretaker. The rest of the team is... well, unsure about Whumpee at this point. Someone says something that sounds a little too much like Whumper (accidental trigger), and Caretaker is the only one who can calm Whumpee down.

Do with that what ya will.

Have fun :D

hi!! thank you so much for the support, this is an amazing idea! i think i'm going to do my heroes and villains au for this one, it's a really good fit for this particular prompt, plus, father figure janus has my WHOLE HEART he's the best caretaker.

this fic features whumpee roman, caretaker janus, and mentions of whumper patton! also, logan and virgil are there but they aren't really anything they're just chillin'. logan is just trying his best.

also the beginning kinda just offers some general exposition to the au and the dynamics so it's just short little snippets of life before the big angst bomb comes raining down.

(cw -> past parental abuse, flashbacks, panic attacks, brief physical violence)

Roman wasn't a violent dog.

But he knew why he bit.

Every night, he saw the face of his uncle, the man who raised him, the man who taught him everything about the world. And he shivered, because while he never wanted to see Patton again, he also wanted nothing more than to be enveloped in his arms one more time.

When he looked in the mirror, Roman wanted to erase himself and start over from the beginning. Permanent scars that were never going away, endless reminders of what a failure he had been. His gauntlet was the only part of him that was pristine, and even that was so out of his reach.

Janus told him that it was Patton's fault that he didn't know how to use his powers, but Roman just couldn't believe it. He was a superhero. He had to know how to use his powers no matter what. Being a kid was no excuse. Being young and impressionable was no excuse. Being starved and beaten and tortured every time he made the smallest mistake was still not an excuse.

Roman was a hero. He had to be better.

--

"Virgil, come on, how many times do I have to remind you to wipe your feet before walking in?" Logan groaned, "We're guests in this house, we should not be dirtying it."

"Sorry, Pa," Virgil mumbled, "I'll clean it up."

"Thank you," Logan said, "And have half a mind not to do it again."

Roman, who was seated on the couch as this argument occurred, squeezed his eyes shut steeling himself as he waited for the slap. Or the hit. Or a cry of pain from Virgil. But seconds passed, and there was no sound except for the spray cleaner and scrubbing the floor. The mess took all of ten seconds to clean up, if that. Roman didn't understand. When he was under punishment with Patton and had to clean floors, it felt like it took much longer.

--

Roman's face was wet with tears, but he found himself feeling scarily numb as he sat in Janus' lap, fiddling with the gemstone necklaces held loosely around his neck with common kitchen twine.

"Ro...we really need to do something about these nightmares," Janus murmured, nothing but warmth in his voice and body. Roman almost felt safe in his arms. "It's not healthy for a kid your age to be waking up screaming every night."

"I'm sorry, sir," Roman said flatly, still trapped in a hellish haze, "I'll be better. I'll do anything you want, just spare me. Please."

Janus could feel his heart shatter in two. He hugged the teenager close, starting to pet his hair gently.

"Oh, baby..." Janus whispered, "What on Earth are we gonna do with you...?"

--

"If you hate me so much, maybe you should just put me back where I came from! You didn't have to adopt me, you could have just gotten a perfect kid instead!"

It was rare for Virgil to shout, so when Roman heard it, he was shaken immediately. Out of pure self preservation, he hid himself in the blanket he had been wearing. When Logan and Virgil argued, it was difficult, and it was messy. They were both headstrong people, which often led to butting heads more than either of them, or the two people they lived with, liked.

"Virgil, don't be ridiculous, I don't hate you!" Logan retaliated, "I just want you to stop closing yourself off, it's useless to try and handle everything in the world by yourself! You're just a child, when will you get that through your head??"

"Maybe I will once you stop micromanaging me like I'm five years old!" Virgil yelled, "I'm not a baby anymore, Pa, I don't need you hovering over my shoulder! Do you know how hard it is to be known as the tattletale at school?? Do you even care?? No, you don't, because all you care about is making yourself feel helpful!"

"I could strangle you right now!"

"Fine! Do it, see if I care!"

Virgil stormed off, slamming the door to his room, causing Roman to tremble where he sat. Oh, boy. Virgil was going to get it now. Roman waited for Logan to roar, to scream at Virgil to open the door before he regretted ever raising his voice at him. The thought made Roman so nervous. Virgil was injured already. He couldn't handle being strangled too. He just couldn't.

So Roman did the heroic thing: he stepped in.

Before Logan could take another step towards Virgil's room, Roman rushed in front of him.

"Virgil didn't mean it, Virgil didn't mean that!" he insisted, his words spilling over each other.

"Were you listening in to our conversation?" Logan sputtered, his face turning a bit red, "Wh- why would you do that? That was between me and Virgil, it has nothing to do with you!"

Logan side-stepped Roman, coming closer to Virgil's room. In a panic, Roman lunged at Logan, hoping to protect Virgil from any sort of wrath.

"Get off me!" Logan exclaimed, "Roman, what are you doing??"

"Stay away from him!" Roman begged as he punched and kicked blindly, thinking of nothing except weakening Logan, protecting Virgil. Weakening Logan, protecting Virgil. It was his responsibility. "He's still healing!"

"Roman, stop!" Logan pleaded, "Please, stop it, you're hurting me!"

Roman was much younger than Logan. But he wasn't that much weaker. He was a young hero, having trained his entire life to fight people, while Logan was just a civilian. No superpowers, no training. He was a bit fragile, in fact. So it wasn't a surprise that Roman was "winning" this exchange, but the child was too blinded by panic to realize this.

"Don't touch Virgil!" Roman begged, "Don't, please, he can't handle it! He can't handle that, he's good, he's good, he'll be good!"

"Janus!" Logan started to scream, thrashing to get away from Roman, "Janus, help me!"

And just then, Roman's entire world seemed to stop.

Logan's begging and crying for help sounded so much like his own. The way his words would bounce against the wall, hitting nobody as he was forced to endure hours of torture in solitary confinement, no sound to keep him company except for his own fruitless pleading. Logan already sounded so defeated. He sounded like he was ready to die. Just like Roman had been all those times before.

Roman's breathing grew shallow and stuttered, and the second he loosened his grip, Logan scrambled out of Roman's arms, shoving him hard. As Janus raced into the room, he saw his child hyperventilating, and Logan with a scratched up face and broken glasses.

"What- what on Earth happened here?" Janus demanded, "Logan, what did you do??"

"What did I do?" Logan repeated, "Why are you asking me that?? Roman's the one that attacked me, he tried to kill me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry- I'm sorry-!" Roman whispered, starting to grip his own hair as he curled in on himself.

"He's a little monster!"

Roman's shallow breathing turned into desperate gasps as he wheezed irregularly, his chest rising and falling largely.

"There's ice in the freezer, I'm so sorry, Lo. I'm so sorry. I should have warned you- I'll pay for your glasses."

"No need," Logan said coldly, "I need some space, if you don't mind. I'm getting tired of being attacked from all sides."

Janus opened his mouth to say something to Logan as the angry man left, but he was distracted by the sound of Roman's fight for air. When Janus looked over, the child had tears streaming down his face, his eyes large and wild, as if he was a wounded animal.

"Darling...come here," Janus whispered sitting on the floor in front of Roman and starting to pull him close.

"No, please," Roman whispered, "Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry- I didn't mean to- I- I-"

"Shh...shh, Roman, don't speak," Janus murmured, hugging Roman gently. "Breathe. I understand. I understand you. I do."

Janus saw so much of himself in those terrified brown eyes. Roman just wanted to protect somebody, and it had gone way too far. What was the poor kid to do? Of course, he had to apologize to Logan. But that would have to be at another time.

Roman shuddered, and before he could overthink anymore, he threw himself into Janus' arms, sobbing vehemently into his shoulder. Guilt washed over him like waves, and he almost wished that Patton was around to punish him. It was what he deserved for attacking somebody weaker than him. In that regard, was Roman really any different from Patton?

"I'm bad," Roman mumbled, "I'm bad, I'm a villain- I'm horrible-..."

"Shh," Janus repeated, rubbing gentle circles onto Roman's back, "Shh, darling. You're not bad. You're not a villain. You're a child. You're a child who's scared. Let yourself be scared. I'm here for you. I'm going to protect you, sweet thing. I promise."

"But what about Logan?" Roman asked, staring up at Janus with tear-stained cheeks and round eyes that broke Janus' heart.

"Logan will be okay, darling," Janus reassured, "He will be. I'm going to help him, and I'll take him to the doctor's, and I'll make sure he's doing okay. He'll understand. He will. He's got to."

"I don't know why I did that," Roman whimpered, "I don't know why I kept going, I could have stopped, he cried for help, I could have stopped!"

"I know, baby, I know," Janus soothed, "I know how it feels. I know. You made a mistake. You messed up. But you're not in trouble. You're not going to get hurt because you hurt someone else. What's the use of that? Then, everybody is hurt, and nobody is happy. Does that make sense?

"I- I- I guess so," Roman whispered, "But- Logan hates me. He hates me now, he hates me, he thinks I'm a monster-"

"He does not think that," Janus said calmly, "He was speaking while he was angry. Think about it. Do you say what you mean when you're angry? Does anybody?"

Roman shuddered. Patton did. But he didn't say so.

"It'll be okay, sweetie," Janus reassured, continuing to hold Roman as he rocked the teenager gently on the carpeted floor. "It's okay."

Janus used to be a violent dog too.

He understood why Roman bit.

[warcats-cat]

*materializes into existence*

Hey, my wonderful moot :D

(if this is a duplicate, ignore it; wifi is picky, so idk if it sent already or nah)

I heard you felt lonely, so I got summoned cause I am your MOOT and I care goddamnit. All the affections for you (/p).

I saw ya like FNAF (specifically Sun & Moon's lines in Help Wanted 2), so: what was your fav lines from the Daycare Jesters? I call them that cause, ya know, the sillies.

Also: I don't remember well, but I think you also like Sanders Sides (correct me if I'm wrong). If ya do, have you seen the newest Asides? If so, I wanna hear about your fav parts. The funnies, the 'lore' (angst) parts, any sort of theories, or even just gushing about your fav pairings or characters.

Infodump about whatever!! I love hearing ya thoughts on things and such <3

Lastly: moths. I fuckin love moths. And tardigrades. And spiders and beetles and- okay, so I just really love bugs and insects.

✨moths✨

Anyway, have a good day and hope this helps the loneliness not be so lonely :D

Hewwo Oatmeal Friend! I love you too 💜💜

I have to say my favorite lines are the new lines for Sun's arts and crafts section because they're straight up hilarious. "I should turn the lights off myself" killed me. Someone please give this robot some Prozac and a teddy bear.

My interest in FNAF Sun/Moon is kinda the fault of Bamsara (who I won't tag because I'm not cool enough to interact with them) who has a fanfic called Solar Lunacy which is *chefs kiss* really fulfills my shameless need for x Reader content 💜 ((seriously if I could find familial TS Patton x Reader content I would print it out and hang it on my wall))

Yes the robojesters are very silly and I have to say I'm seeing the FNAF fandom leaning on the head canon that they may have not originally been child-care robots, but on-stage actors, and we're just given child-care programming later which makes me 👀 I love them being doting kiddo caretakers but also the idea of a dedicated thespian being throwing into a pile of wailing children and told to figure it out is absolutely hilarious to me.

Also yes!! I love me some Sanders Sides!! Love my boys. No one is surprised but Patton's bit with the tinier and tinier boxes absolutely was my favorite part. My parents did that when I was like ten and it started off with this GIANT box and I think there were at least six I had to go through before I found a plush of Snoopy and tickets to go to Camp Snoopy at Knott's Farm (forever salty that it was bought by Nickelodeon). I still have that plushy somewhere in my room 💜 and entire book of pressed pennies from Camp Snoopy.

Anyway I actually genuinely enjoyed the new Asides! I miss so much the original format of videos that were one-off and shorter, the conflict being self-contained and generally light hearted. And the interaction between Logan and Virgil was so adorable 💜

Tell me about moths 👀 I love moths and butterflies and BEES😍 (I'm lame, my favorites are the Lunar moth and the Rosey Maple moth. My fairy-sona's outfit is themed to a crossover of the two, though it was more lunar moth like when I first put it together. It's evolved a lot over the years.) Spiders and I have a love-hate relationship rn; the fuzzy ones make me want to cry (pos) and the spindly ones make me want to cry (neg). There's a colony of tiny spindly ladies living in my basement bathroom that I don't know how they got there and I don't know how they keep reproducing because there are no bugs down there.

I don't know what a tardigrade is .....

[sleepyheadd0]

pat pat pat!! they are so silly!!! picasso!!!!!!!!

...more stuff about picasso please?? im not really sure what to ask exactly,, but i genuinely want to learn more they're so silly!!!!!! /gen!!

oh my god im so sorry about this taking so long

the tmnt au comp gave me motivation to post about picasso lmfao

SO. picasso backstory.

the very beginning starts after the episode "Sparring Partner", S1 E18B, where we are introduced to Franken-Foot; the reformed paper ninja in raphael's care. after meeting the reformed paper ninja, mikey has an idea. at this point, hes still very babied and coddled; although now he is feeling bolder, with both "Hot Soup: the Game" and "Nothing but Truffle" already having occurred.

seeing raphael being able to reform one if their "enemies", mikey decided to replicate it, for the sake of showing raphael up and proving he can be responsible. so, after yet another battle with the foot clan, mikey slipped away to pluck an injured paper ninja out of the heap of paper after the dust settled.

the paper ninja was in bad shape, to say the least; especially after mikey had to drag it back into his room with his brothers none the wiser. after all, paper isnt exactly the strongest material on its own. but mikey knew exactly what to do, he knew how to make paper stronger. he was the artist, after all! he worked with paper a lot, unlike raphael. and his plan? paper mache.

he slowly but surely fixed the paper ninja up, it took a few days with all of the drying, hiding the living behind from his brothers, all that jazz. but if course, he didnt want to make just another paper ninja, thats boring. he needed to add his own razzmatazz to it! so, using his skills, he created his own turtle pal; complete with a painted cardboard shell.

now, this paper mache turtle wasnt exactly the strongest thing. with all of that weight, it needed something to keep it together! so mikey wrapped ribbons around its limbs, adding an extra layer of protection.

but of course, someone was going to find this out eventually. one day, while mikey was out spray painting the sewers, leo snuck into his room to grab one of his comics he let mikey borrow. only to find a strange colored turtle reading it.

mikey made leo swear to keep it a secret, but after just a week or so, leo spilled the beans to april, who brought it up with donnie assuming he knew. and finally after a month or so, raphael finally learned of the paper mache turtle when it was just walking around. mikey got in deep trouble that day.

once the family finally all knew of the paper mache turtle, it began to join them in their family time at home. its vocabulary expanded, and became almost like a toddler. donnie had some theories, but none were fully solid.

eventually, the paper mache turtle began to notice it was different from the others. no flesh or skin or scales, it was all paper mache. it felt alienated from its family. although, this didnt stop the paper mache turtle from trying to cheer itself up. so when mikey went into his room one day, he saw the paper mache turtle superglueing paper loops on the back of its head to replicate the brothers bandannas / masks.

OKAY THATS ALL I HAVE ABOUT PICASSOS BACKSTORY

but more on other things, picasso uses any/all pronouns, because as paper, they couldnt care less what you refer to them as. mikey is essentially picassos older brother/father figure, taking his toddler creation out into the sewers to teach it things.

while picasso doesnt know much about the world, he isnt a complete idiot. he may be comedically bad at using things when hes first introduced to them, but he eventually learns, like a toddler.

picassos "weapon" of choice is a fork. it was originally a dumb idea my irl friend cane up with, i actually like this idea.

so. mikey spends a lot of time in the kitchen, and picasso follows him because hes her caretaker. she watches him cooking a lot, and she also helps by passing mikey some ingredients or tools for him to use. when she saw that mikey also used a fork a lot to eat, test the readiness if potatoes, whisk together eggs, etc., she decided shed use a fork for everything, just like her caretaker and best friend mikey.

this au is also completely platonic, and picasso is aroace.

thanks for letting me ramble! im thinking of calling this au "paper mache ninja turtle ", or pmnt!

[altraviolet]

hi!! here to drop an ask or two :D

i really liked lightning rod (hence the long comment i left a month ago). you said it was inspired by a dream? do you have anything interesting to point out about that & the process of dream to story, because i've been trying to turn a dream into a coherent story myself. it's always cool to hear about other people's processes for things!

i also found the canyon concert to be interesting, especially the phrases "symphony of agony" and "sickening disorientation of being too small and too big at the same time". i found the darker take on jazz to be fun to read, also. do you have any comments on that fic?

anyway, getting carried away with the ask lol ... so i'll end it here!

Hi!! Thank you so much for the fun questions :D Ohh you've dug deep into some of my most terrible (for the characters) fics... hehe

For folks unfamiliar: both stories mentioned above have HEAVY and DARK themes. They are locked and appropriately tagged.

>inspired by a dream

I went back to my story file for Lightning Rod and I can share my brainstorming notes there. I'll put it beneath the cut!

Content warnings: pregnancy, miscarriage, and failure to thrive (infant death) mentions. Like literally just the words. No details. Discussion of violent and very alien, sex-related stuff.

NOTE: if you like pregnancy in fics, that's totally fine. I Extremely Do Not, so you're going to see my uncensored opinion here, lol. The following is an exact copy/paste of my notes:

Mirage/Skywarp story I thought of last night when I woke up in the middle of the night from dreams that I think centered around being loved by someone else. 2 explorations: 1. reproduction alternative from what I know of in fanon. IDW1 AU. No pregnancy shit, I hate that. This is when 2 mechs want to have a sparkling. Caretakers have been taking care of the old spark fields and with the proper metal and sparking, sparks can flourish there. The couple goes to a special store to buy a 'lightning rod' (or some other name), a short rod of metal they take to the field. Caretaker shows them to a spot where a spark had come from before. They kneel across from each other with rod in the middle, separate chests, and let sparks touch each other and the rod. The rod picks up the spark energy. If there's a successful ignition, the rod melts down into the ground. The metal of the rod provides the sparkling with its frame building materials. Most lightning rod stores are kinda shitty, but they do the job. A real metallurgist will take the couple into account when suggesting a lightning rod. 2. after three failed lightning rods (failure to thrive in the ground), Mirage and Skywarp go to an actual metallurgist, Swerve, who measures their spark energy and takes samples of their native metal and does calculations and suggests a specific rod for them. It's thicker than the others they've had. It's got a core of [metal], and concentric rings of other metals around it. It's very expensive, but they buy it. They take it to the spark field. Ignition. The sparkling successfully grows. The caretaker 'harvests' it [or whatever] and Mirage and Skywarp take it home. It has perfect little wings and cute little hands and it makes them so happy. It flourishes for a short time and then dies. They are distraught. ~ This is quite different from my usual story. My usual stories are sad but hopeful. This is devastatingly sad. This isn't something I would want to read and it's something I don't really want to write. I like the reproduction idea. But why the grief? Is it really necessary? What do I do with the characters after that? I have no idea. They'd be horribly sad. They would blame themselves. They're just incompatible, after all.

So... that doesn't really answer your question, but I wrote the story so long ago, I really don't remember the dream itself anymore. I just remember being really, really sad. But you can see the process of me thinking through the logistics of the story. You can also see me wrestling with the concept itself, since it's not something I usually write. It's really fucking sad.

Maybe a lil checklist type thingy will help? This is my advice for turning dreams into stories:

write down everything about the dream you can remember. every detail, every feeling, and especially the overall tone

think about what it is in the dream you want to express in story form. boil that dream down to a pitch, a single sentence. use this as your focus. you'll come back to your pitch when you're unsure of what you're doing later in the writing process

write out/explore/brainstorm the consequences of the dream ideas. that's most of what I was doing above: thinking about the physical actions that construct the plot, which in turn are what the emotional tone rests on. aka- I needed to worldbuild a non-pregnancy way of reproduction so that the story could explore what happens when there are problems. in essence, the equivalent to miscarriages, and deaths due to failure to thrive. those, on their own, are not the plot, but they are supported by the worldbuilding

don't be afraid to discard bits of your dream that don't support what the story is about. or, said another way, don't be afraid to deviate from the dream if the story will be better for it.

when you're not sure if a character or a plot point or any other element is working for your story, go back to #2. this is your focus. everything you're doing is to support that pitch

It's honestly up to you how true to the "canon" of your dream you want to be. Only you will know if you tweak a detail here or there, or change a character in some way.

As an aside, I've always been kind of darkly fascinated & puzzled by the phrase "failure to thrive." I don't understand what that means. I think I've looked it up before but the phrase lives in a permanently nebulous part of my brain.

Best of luck with your dream story! If you have any other questions about it, please don't hesitate to ask box 'em :)

Onto The Canyon Concert... hoo boy. I wrote that in 2018. Hmm, looking at the folder now, it seems like the first title was "The Desert Concert." I don't see any difference between that file and the final (I also have it saved in 3 different file formats... lol). I'm afraid there isn't any copy-paste-able behind the scenes stuff remaining, but I can ramble a bit about it if you'd like :)

I had two really weird TF ideas and used this fic to explore both of them at the same time. They were:

what if you make Thundercracker into a stereo system? this seemed like an entirely normal and natural question to ask, since his whole thing is being REALLY LOUD

what if you took the typical spike-valve dynamics and inverted them? make a spike that goes soft and melts, seeps into the valve, and hardens again (the valve is very cold), which forms a connection between the mechs. and what if to achieve this, the rest of the mech has to be the opposite temperature? (like to heat the spike, the rest of the body must go very cold, and vice versa). and ALSO what if the mechs were connecting not only physically via spike-valve, but after that connection is made their sparks can send pulses back and forth, AND they connect on the field level as well?

Haha that's a lot of ideas. But! I really wanted to explore how alien their sexual encounters could be. And! I think the fic explores these ideas pretty well (or at least, clearly), especially considering how short it is.

One thing I did deliberately was give the characters very terrible and cheesy G1 dialog when they were interacting as enemies, and normal dialog when interacting as anything else. Here's an example of what I mean:

Mirage knelt over Jazz, watching the visor for flickers of light. “You should depart,” he said quietly. “'kay,” said Skywarp. He hauled Thundercracker up to his feet. “Till next time, Autobot scum!” He fired his gun entirely in the wrong direction and winked. Mirage smiled. “Begone, Decepticon menace!” He likewise returned fire.

Mirage and Skywarp talk normally to each other, but like G1 when they pretend they are enemies. Haha. idk, it just amused me to do that.

Hmm what else can I say... I'll take some bits from the fic and comment on 'em :)

Jazz says, "Pretty darn good moon. I've always liked that moon.” I've always liked that line xD

Mirage's line here is foreshadowing for his having set up everything specifically to get together with Skywarp: “I have a knack for summoning trouble.”

I dunno if the visuals of the big horrible claw music torture machine make sense, but it's quite clear in my mind. I did my best to get it down for the reader.

I wrote this fic before Mirage/Skywarp became my OTP... I wrote this fic just to explore those 2 thingies mentioned above, but people in comments said they were curious how this pairing could happen, which led to me writing my really long Mirage/Skywarp fic, which led to me HAVING THEM AS MY OTP AHHHHHHHH Transformers finally got me there.

Oh! You mentioned "sickening disorientation of being too small and too big at the same time." Yes! I've found this is a recurring thing in my fics (what this says about me, I can only guess...). This is related to the feeling Thundercracker has when his ability travels the length of the speaker machine thing, and it is the same feeling/phenomenon that Soundwave has in the Echo Garden when he feels the true length and breadth of 2938 Megatron. It's a bigger version of how I imagine fields feel for Cybertronians: you extend beyond the confines of your body, you can sense this extra distance in some way, you can process that and understand it. But you ARE your body, you are IN your physical body, so it's disorienting to swing back and forth between the two (TC) or to suddenly go from one to another (SW). I dunno why, but this idea comes up again and again in my writing.

The darker take for Jazz was done simply to make the story happen xD I don't think of Jazzes as being terribly dark, but I had to do it to explore the Thundercracker-stereo-system idea :D

Hmm... I guess that's it for now! Thank you so much for asking. It's fun to talk about the older/weirder/darker stuff :D

[gothimgem]

which dod3 intoner are you?

three

At your heart, you are a creator, an artist—you give most of yourself to your interests, and leave little room for anything else. The landscape of your imagination is rich and wonderful and strange, and you explore it by your own compass. Other people don't understand, not really. And although you like to make your imaginings tangible in the real world, you don't care much about what others think of them. You are someone who, for better or worse, chose not to integrate with the society in which you live. You're almost certainly neurodivergent, and the world that neurotypical people made just doesn't accommodate you, let alone interest you. Of course, the further you stray from that world, the harder it gets to live... Having someone to help you, a friend or partner or caretaker, makes all the difference. That said, you may well end up taking advantage of them if you aren't careful. Suddenly, before you know it, you're not cutting your own hair, not washing yourself—and your art is getting really weird. If someone enables you for long enough, your moral compass is likely to get pretty skewed. Wigs and dolls look so much prettier when they're made from *real materials*, you know... Maybe if you just... tried out something new and experimental... Your ideal lover, by the way, is varied and interesting in bed—and that above all else. Romance is optional. You tend to attract loyal caretaker types, anyway, so the rest should all just fall into place.