#they're going to be so ugly it's going to be GREAT
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how does one become free of insecurity? i’m already doing therapy but i feel i’ve only moved away from hating myself so much i want to d*e into just thinking everyone’s better than me
It's a long journey, but well worth it.
I don't think anyone is ever truly free of insecurity, but I think there's also a lot that is unpacked simply through the language we use to describe ourselves and the jokes we allow other people to make at our expense.
Therapy is great at helping you deal with the big feelings, but sometimes little things get caught in your head and it's hard to shake them. Here are some things that I do to keep myself feeling good, and also some things that I'm working on:
No suicide jokes. I make it a point never to joke about "oh I'll just kill myself" or anything like that because ultimately it just makes me feel worse and nobody finds it funny. It's also a good way to change your thinking and direct your solution brain away from "I'll just end things when shit gets hard." This one is a constant battle.
I compliment myself whenever I have the chance. I take every compliment someone gives me. I pretend to be vapid and self-absorbed. I make kissy faces at myself in the mirror. I tell other people how pretty I am, and I don't fucking care if they think I'm a stupid bimbo because I'm trying to love myself and that's more important.
Being kinder to my younger self. This one feels weird but I found myself being mean to little Ghoul when I was really sad. It feels easy to take out your anger on a kid that didn't know any better, and it doesn't guilt you because that's you that you're hating. But look. You were just a kid. You weren't stupid or ugly or unlovable or evil, you were a kid. I just caught myself calling my teenage self ugly the other day on my way to visit my mom and I had to stop and go "why am I saying this? I was just a kid." And it made me cry a li'l bit ngl, but if felt... idk it felt good in a way.
Don't let fucking anyone tell you, you're not worth it. Does your friend make jokes about how dumb you are? Or how you're so cringey? Or so embarrassing or bad at something or forgetful or WHATEVER? Yeah, fuck that noise. Tell them to stop doing that. Tell them it hurts your feelings and if they still don't stop they aren't your friend, they're your bully. I fucking hate bullies. Don't let anyone talk down to you, I don't care if it was a joke at first, it's not funny anymore. Fuck them.
This is something I'm working on, but when you start fixing one insecurity another will probably pop up. I've been working for a long time on liking how I look, and it's gone really well. But now I'm insecure about my intelligence. So I have to stop myself from calling myself stupid or not answering questions. I just fucking rocked my work trivia party, and Mr. Ghoul thinks I'm smart, so I just gotta keep track of my wins. Sometimes you realize that making yourself secure in one thing makes you insecure about another, but that's ok! There's a learning curve to all of this.
Everyone thinks everyone else is better than them. You don't have to be the best at everything, you don't even have to be the best at one thing! What's important is that you're doing your best. People notice when you're working hard, even if you're not churning out the best product because it means you care about it. Which brings me to
Done is better than perfect. Sure it would be great if you were God's most specialist soldier, but think about how much work that would be! Ok so you're not the world's best knitter, but the scarf you made your friend is their favorite scarf anyway because you made it. So you're not a world class writer, but you had a story in your head and you wrote it down. That's better than it never being written at all. Also just because you think it's bad doesn't mean other people won't think it's a masterpiece. Hell, half of the fics I wrote when I first started this blog I could write better now but that doesn't make them bad, it just means I've gotten better.
We as humans are constantly improving and evolving. Don't let who you are no stop you from striving towards who you'll be in the future. Taking one step down the path towards loving yourself is better than giving up and hating yourself forever. It's slow going, but man I've been doing this shit for a decade and I'm so much happier than I was at 18.
You might think that the more you improve the harder and faller you'll fall back to the bottom, but the lows don't get that low again. You're doing great. I'm proud of you.
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K and I were goobers at the fabric store today which was fun and we also got the stuff for her to make me some truly ugly Jogginghose and I am. Excite
#zombie thoughts#weirdass snakeskin-looking animal print jersey cloth in a shade of brown with red accent#they're going to be so ugly it's going to be GREAT#she was like if you wear these in public you will have my respect#i said girl i am going to wear them to therapy
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i don't really know how to word this but like i feel like i'm gonna forever have to deal with the pain and heartache of one of my very first pokémon games- the first 'normal' pokémon game i've ever played, that i will have lasting nostalgia and love for as a result of it being formative to my introduction into the series- being the one that will forever be looked down upon for bad graphics and technical issues as a result of the game having been rushed
like i honest to goodness want to scream and yell and cry into the void about how this means everything to me and will always be one of my fave games just in general. but how am i gonna do that without someone being like 'the broken overpriced mess? the one that's missing all this stuff from the older games that was great? the thing with all the cringe? that one?' or whatever. and the thing is they aren't wrong for their criticisms either like i know the fact that they rushed this wonderful game hardcore is a massive stain on its reputation and it hurts me too but like i cannot turn off the brain full of love in me and be a mean critic. or even an impartial one. i mean i criticize everything i love don't get me wrong i am constantly running my mouth about what i like and don't like. but at the end of the day i approach all media with an unusually optimistic mindset. if you see me talk a ton about something no matter what i'm saying you can bet it means i love it.
just. aaagh. it's always tough being a new fan of an old series. i'm like too embarrassed to express my opinions bc i feel like they're invalid y'know? i feel so exhausted every time i see something to the effect of like 'oh those poor kids these days having to deal with such bad quality everything what a bad time to be a fan of pokémon wow y'all make me feel so old' well see the thing is i actually am thriving and i love it here. and i'm also an adult myself so i have more critical thinking skills than people who played red when they were like five years old did. and even with the power of critical thinking i manage to be in love with this. join me in marvelling at the beauty of life
#sorry for the massive rant i am full of both love and rage but i feel alone in this world about this particular subject#my other fav complaint is like 'they make it too easy to xyz these days'#to me that reads like 'i suffered so why shouldn't they'#yes we should encourage people to spend 100 hours grinding to do basic story requirements.#to weed out the true gamers from the weaklings. or maybe we could use the spare time in our lives to touch grass#the only easy-fication change in sv i don't like is the ability to access boxes right from the menu#that kinda cheapens the need to strategically organize a team before heading somewhere#i can.. sorta understand being miffed about the remember moves mechanic?#frankly platinum was so stressful with not being able to freely switch without great hassle/cost#it would have been a fair enough compromise to make you pay a bit of lp or something#or do it for free but having to go to like a pokécenter or something#i'll never agree that exp share is bad though sorry#pokémon#ok but about the 'i feel bad for kids these days with these ugly designs/lame 3D models' thing#yeah i have news for you every gen has its ugly/stupid pokémon.#dude look at exeggcute#and some of the oldest spritework is hideous#granted the ds era spritework was beautiful#but i don't see what is so bad about the 3D models of today? they're both nice...#dude play an indie game or something if it's that important to you idk#it will never be the 90s again. it will never be the 00s again. i'm sorry.
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"Chainsaw Man is ugly". Yeah, I think that's kind of the point, actually. Hell, I think the griminess, the ugliness of it, is actually what adds substance and character and feeling. Like. Whatever. You don't like it. You think it's ugly. Fine. Okay. What I can't really understand is... Why is that a bad thing?
#chainsaw man#bri blabs#i saw a post#i don't know#i really really like the stylization of csm#i love fujimoto's faces#i love that they're 'ugly'#i love that they're not super clean and polished#hyperrealism is tired to me#i've read some fucking great western comics here and there and it's not like i'm going 'thing japan! :O'#it's just good to my sensibilities it is so style and shape it's 'ugly' and unclean but i think that's what makes it good and beautiful#when everything is clean lines and hyperrealism i just get tired like yes sure it is so perfect and realistic but where is the heart#where is the feeling the emotion where is the fucking blood#you're pulling up a comic page as an example of 'good art' and sure it's vivid and pretty and realistic but the face gives me nothing#it was just flat and sure it's pretty and sparkly but more than that it's boring#it's too clean it's too bright it's flat it's shiny it's pretty looking but there's no just no feeling behind the face so it's nothing#who cares if it looks pretty when there's no feeling?#that's something i can't understand
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I got some cheap backsplash stick on "tile" sheets at the "Everything is not actually just a dollar but the store has dollar in the name" type store and I'm gonna put them up in the corner my desk is in, which will brighten it up and be a good excuse to tidy up and reorganize around there
But like. if you look too close you can literally see the pixels on the fake wood grain. This shit is like 30 dpi and aside from them being cheap, it feels like getting too close to a game texture that it borders on blurry incomprehension, so I'm somehow endeared by it
#vena vents#not art#They had other less pixellated ones but they were more bathroom-y and kitchen-y#or just plain ugly#Also I got a sweater type poncho clearanced for like $ 5 so that's a plus they're great for sitting at the computer doing things#Aside from everything going on inside my mouth it was a decent day for me
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Finally, some delicious fucking news
#gsmnp#great smoky mountains#great smoky mountains national park#tennessee#north carolina#clingmans dome#cherokee#native american#indigenous american#tbh clingmans dome is such an ugly ass name#y'all cannot believe the level of seethe going on in the Instagram comments section for this one#it's like 700 old people being so racist you're ashamed for them but they don't notice they're being cringe#like. the best you can argue against it is the Cherokee didn't live in that labd first. that's it.#and even that is weak because I'm pretty sure the eastern band of the Cherokee nation was here longest#if you want to try arguing that we can't use old names for places bc what if someone had a name for it before that...#...then we suddenly do not have names for anything! congrats!#anyway. I'm happy to see the park doing something good for once.#if you read into the history of gsmnp it's one misstep after another#those in charge probably meant well. but so much needless destruction happened to create my favorite park#anything done to bandaid that harm is a step in the right direction
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#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point#i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one#i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit#and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair#and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again#i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl#and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it#and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill#and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with#and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own#i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person#and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks#also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me#and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now#and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do#and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this#but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me#and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end#anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down
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being an adult who makes my own income is also realizing i can actually buy some of the pretty art i see online. some day i might even be bold enough to directly commission an artist.
#sometimes i forget that i can just...buy things that i like#obviously i can't go wild about it or spend an outrageous amount#but...i do have spending money and i no longer have to like justify purchases to my dad#or beg him to let me buy some cool art at the local ren faire#i can literally just...buy it#still keeping myself in check#but i am so used to only using my spending money to buy books and snacks#and sometimes notebooks and art supplies#but now there's no one to tell me that i'm too old for dinosaur figurines and cool prints and cute plushies#like i mean my dad is still around but i'm not a kid anymore so...#honestly i could've probably bought more things i just like and want because they're cool when i was younger#but i was just not great at doing things without permission#and my dad is simultaneously a penny pincher and a careless spender#in a weird way where he'll budget everything very carefully#and he saves up and has his Roth IRA and investment portfolio and so on#but then he will also like...spend a ridiculous amount of money on super expensive living room curtains#that will inevitably be destroyed by the cats within the course of a year#or he'll buy a custom made reclining chair from norway for way too much money and then never use it#like he carefully budgets all this stuff#and then is like 'ah and now i need to factor in my $1000 ugly lamp that no one asked for'#my sister ends up replacing most of these items with more practical cheap stuff from like facebook marketplace#so honestly he has nowhere to throw stones from#will say i do like his too-expensive giant abstract art pieces. they're pretty cool#not my style but i don't hate them#but those curtains...#maybe it's my turn to criticize HIS purchases
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tiktok and tumblr stop stalking the ex victim of a stalker to send him photos of his stalker and re-traumatize him challenge
#also stop saying he's the one in the wrong and stalking his ex-girlfriend to harass her/traumatize her challenge#also also stop glorifying the show challenge#(99.9% of people fail this challenge :00)#bruh it was the most liked comment on a tik tok video saying that he purposely made her uglier than she was (she was an ugly fuck to start)#i don't fat shame normally but i will 100% fat shame that bitch to the point of body dysmorphia and hope she suffers horribly in the future#never the actress tho she was great#if i see ANYONE coming for the actress i'm throwing hands#also darrien i hope he steps on a lego and overdoses on his drugs#actually i wish both experience what it was like for donny all the fear all the pain all the trauma everything i hope they know the sufferi#anyway i just finished baby reindeer and holy SHIT i have never related to a character more since i first saw angel dust#fuck martha and darrien#there's a special place in hell for them#and when i die and go down to hell i'm going to make them wish they were with them six limbed devils#psa; THIS IS ABOUT REAL PEOPLE THEY'RE NOT CHARACTERS#end of my rant now this pissed me off with how people are so hyper focused on martha and everything about her that it makes it seem like sh#+e is the only good person here and the only victim because OF SOME SOPPY FUCKING DUMB STORY AT THE END WHERE HER PARENTS FOUGHT FUCK HER N#+O ONE LOVES YOU AND I HOPE NO ONE EVER LOVES YOU TIK TOK SHE IS NOT THE VICTIM DONNY IS AND YOU ARE ALL TOO DUMB TO REALISE PAST YOUR HYPE#+R FEMENIST ALL MEN ARE EVIL BULLSHIT#*sigh*#i'm fine i swear#i'll delete this later maybe#if i remember it
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Having thoughts about Eak going through the awful ordeal of telling people he's going to be a dad, because angst.
#no main tag#he tells cami and towntrap first. because he needs their support more than he worries about their judgement#although he doesn't initially tell them owynn is the kid's dad. he says he doesn't want to talk about it and they leave it alone for now#he hadn't told them he was dating owynn because he knew they wouldn't approve and it was just supposed to be something casual#but eventually they do ask him to tell the truth (because they're worried about him) and he does confess#they're... not happy about it. cami especially. but they are better about it than he expected them to be so that's good#he tells his parents soon after the initial talk with his friends and that one definitely goes BAD. REALLY BAD#they take him to the doctor so they can figure out how far along he is and tell him they'll disown him if he aborts which is#not great because they also tell him that they'll kick him out of the house if he keeps it. they think the baby should be adopted out#eak hadn't yet decided on what he wanted to do about it but he's not exactly thrilled about being told he only has one choice#eventually he settles on keeping it because 1- being raised by a pro life family means he's not fully comfortable with abortion#plus he's heard lots of fear mongering about it that worry him. and he doesn't want to lose his family completely#(even if they suck)#he can't go through with an adoption though. he knows he'll drive himself crazy worrying about the kid#he's too protective to have his baby out in the world without knowing if they're alright or if their new family treats them well#so. kicked out at the end of his pregnancy it is. fun times ahead /s#and only when he's sure of that does he tell owynn the news#he'd been putting it off because he knew it'd go horribly and he didn't want to deal with it but you know. can't hide forever#anyway owynn tells him to abort it and gets increasingly demanding when eak tells him he's not going to do that#at which point they get into a really ugly screaming match where both of them say things they'd regret later#owynn gets tired and says that eak was probably cheating on him and the kid isn't even his (not bc he believes it- he's just being shitty)#and to not talk to him ever again. so they spend what's left of the school year avoiding each other#owynn basically only talks to eak through cami. which is extremely awkward for all of them#great job at being a good partner owynn you really exceeded my expectations /s#but yeah. rip to eak#tmpreg#eakwynn#although it's not very romantic
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Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
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#Omg I should use a tumblr poll to decide my college#(I should not)#Ok here's the problem . I already accepted I was going to school B flat bc I didn't think#I was getting into anywhere else#But I applied to school C sharp for shits and giggles and got in#The problem is they're both great schools#And I toured C sharp and feel honestly really neutral about it#I didn't love it#The campus is ugly as FUCK#And other than some like schedule things that would be nice I'm not married to it idk#I didn't feel a pull to it or anything#And everyone around me is hyping it up so much probably because passively my father and grandmother want me#To stay in the states for school#But I don't know that I want to do that!!#But I'm also terrified of getting myself into a situation I can't get myself out of#But if I end up a semester or a year behind because I realize I don't like it then. That's liveable#But 5 years behind. I don't know. I don't know that's liveable.#Like obviously I would live. And going abroad would be an incredible experience#And I'm scared of the drinking culture and not making friends#But I'm scared that *neutral* is a deeply horrible way to feel about a place you've committed to for four years
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there's so many things i'm gonna do When I Get The Money but one of them is to get weirder. i need to indulge my 12-year-old self and wear the fuckin mlp shirt. wear plastic jewellery and dye my hair rainbow and buy myself dog collars and cosplay in public and most importantly diy that shit, but if i can't/don't want to i'm going to raid hot topic and claire's. i need to i need to i need to
#does hot topic still have cool stuff??#i made myself a bunny hat with ears that go down to my. waist??#i usually drape them over my front it's SUCH a cute hat and i get compliments on it all the time#i'm so so so proud of it. but like. god i have got to get weirder so that the people i actually WANT approaching me do so#somehow i get less self conscious wearing the hat in public than i do wearing a fox tail. they're like the same thing#it brings me a great amount of comfort to wear both but i feel so scared of wearing the tail in public#because it's the only thing i get negative attention for#i was gonna say harassment but i've never felt unsafe so it's not like... a huge deal it just makes me nervous#maybe this is just an extension of me caring about what others think too much but i feel like people just like me cuz i'm cute#i THINK i'm attractive and that's why i get away with being like this. but i gotta know. where do people draw the line with me#how weird can i be without people reacting negatively. i'm doing this for me and if the people i hang out with don't like it...#but they DO. and it baffles me. i feel so incredibly lucky. why are people always so nice to me. is it conditional?#if i looked 'ugly' would they treat me differently??#everyone in this group is like. moderately attractive. am i overthinking this? if it's conditional i don't want it#i need actual freak friends#txt
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pairing: lando norris x fem!australian!reader [no faceclaim] summary: honestly, you kind of expected this part-time gig to just be four days of pure chaos that gave you an excuse to see an f1 race up close. then some guy in the fanzone complimented your shoes, and the rest is history. notes: requested by anon!! this has been sitting in my drafts for aaaaages, sorry love <3 y'all are so brave for putting up with me while i try and remember how tf to write these uhhh yeah this one took a turn hope u like it anyway LMFAO
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ausgp Arriving in style! The lads looked great at the Melbourne Walk today 🤩🤩
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username1 lewis and zhou are absolutely slaying!! and oscar is also there
ynusername oscar i love you but you gotta step up your game mate, i wanna wear your merch so bad but it is UGLY!!
landonorris excuse me ausgp i think my fit was deserving of recognition in this post :(
ausgp Can't compete with the hometown hero 🤷♂️ landonorris but daniel isn't in this either ? oscarpiastri You're funny.
landonorris
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landonorris he shoots, he scores! thanks for such a warm welcome melbourne :)
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oscarpiastri You and I have different definitions of scoring I think
landonorris ever heard of playing the long game? oscarpiastri Nurse he's out again
username2 where's the worker with the shoes i think they're indirecting her
username3 GET THIS MAN THE SHOE LADY'S DIGITS
maxfewtrell Now that's just uncalled for
ausgp Love to see the spirit 😉
username4 aww lando always looks so happy in melbourne, he loves it here :'))
ynusername oh wtf
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ynusername busy busy busy day, absolutely buggered, but very excited for tomorrow 😁 (also peep The Shoes on the last slide)
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yourfriend i mean... he's right, they are sick shoes
ynusername you're just saying that cos you made me buy them yourfriend well yes!
username5 omg are u the girl who was working the fanzone today??
ynusername i was one of them!
username6 ok if this is the shoe lady i don't blame lando for staring she's so pretty omg
yourfriend "the shoe lady" ynusername i've been titled?????
ynusername
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ynusername weirdest work day ever (included today's shoes bc apparently it's a thing now)
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yourfriend that wrap was good as hell tho
ynusername deffo the most exciting part of lunch
username7 wait who is this girl and why does lando follow her?
username8 go to lovestruckln on twitter, she has a whole thread about it!
landonorris ...weird in a good way, right?
username9 your lack of rizz is astounding lando username10 bro STAND UP ynusername weird in an interesting way landonorris i'll take that
landonorris
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landonorris melb, you have my ❤️
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username11 SHOE GIRLLLLLL
username12 i hope they never hard launch and he just keeps posting pics of cool sneakers
georgerussell63 You're welcome
charles_leclerc You did it, you crazy son of a bitch ausgp Where's our credit?? georgerussell63 You put the pieces in play, I moved them into checkmate ynusername you threw a shoe at me. calm down. ausgp He what???
username13 bro's collecting aussies like infinity stones
danielricciardo ?? oscarpiastri No ynusername :// landonorris 😁😁
ynusername you're cool ig 🙄
landonorris your swag style and utter disdain for me has captured my heart ynusername oh my god stop i'm blushing
tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @ironmaiden1313 @lunar-racing @lightninginab0ttle @maddie-naps @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @landossainz @chaotic_version
request: hiya! i love how funny your smau’s are and i’m begging for an aussie!reader x Lando one. maybe she works for the AusGP and they met in Melbourne? idk -anon
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#instagram au#f1 imagine#lando norris imagine#f1 instagram au#social media au#lando norris au#saturn writes
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"Ok, Daddy, please cum in me. Are you close? Baby Girl can't keep this up... my hips ache with this huge belly... seriously, please tell me you're going to be done soon. I can barely move on top of you, I'm sweating, and my titties are giant aching milk sacs...Don't even get me started on my nipples, like you're not even bothering to try and touch them anyway, but they fucking hurt....Jesus....they're leaking again. I'm a fucking seeping pregnant cow...
God, I can't believe I'm even doing this. I look ridiculous like this. This isn't sexy. I'm a bloated whale and your ....rock hard... again. I love you. I really do. And I'm so happy we get to be parents soon....but right now I'm not in the mood for your slow and sensual pregnancy fetish loving right now. I don't need to feel beautiful. I'm huge and miserable and so fucking done. I can't do this anymore. I can't stand being so fucking pregnant!
Great. Now I'm crying.
I'm NOT Sad! I know I'm not fucking ugly. I'm the god damn mother of your child and you better think I'm the sexiest thing in the world!
(sobs)
No, Stop. I'm not.....I'm crying because every part of me is ACHING with your baby. And I need this to be over. You heard what the doctor said. Sex helps start labor. Your sperm can soften my cervix. So come on, cum. Don't dick around anymore.
You need to cum now. And if you're not close you better fuck me hard enough to get there. Ok, Daddy? Start fucking this big swollen aching cunt and shoot your load in me. You have to because you did this. You put this child in me and you can get them out...Now, stop treating me like glass and fuck me til I'm shaking. Pound me until my fucking water breaks. You hear me Daddy?
Get this thing the fuck out of me. NOW."
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Trinkets
Five presents Jason brought you back from his adventures and one you asked for. (+ one) ~1.2k words of fluff
Jason Todd brings you home gifts from his missions, which wouldn't be a problem, but he never really explains what they are.
The first time it happened, you had laughed at the green ring with a lantern symbol in the middle. It looked cheesy, like one of the fake ones you can buy from the superhero merch stores littered around malls and outlets.
You'd kissed his cheek in thanks, put it on your shelf, and never gave it a second thought.
At least you didn't, until a bright green glow woke you up from your sleep. You'd sat up immediately, jaw practically dropping to the sheets as the ring lifted itself off your shelf and flew out the window.
Jason barely budged, his arm still thrown over your waist. He let out yawn and cuddled closer before speaking, voice groggy and heavy, "Huh. Didn't think they noticed that one was gone."
"They," You half yell, voice pitching as you stare at his outline, hidden in the shadows of the room.
"The Guardians, babe," he yawns out, "They're in charge of the space cops. Just go back to sleep."
Naturally, you do not go back to sleep. You drag him to the kitchen, make tea, and demand he explains why a Green Lantern ring was in your apartment. (He's very happy to)
The second time it happens, you're much more wary of the gift he brings home. But to be fair, he can't really pass off an Amazonian steel sword as something he just picked up.
It doesn't take as much convincing as it should for you to let him mount it on your wall. But it's a sword! No one can blame you for thinking it looks cool in your living room.
It turns out keeping it around is pretty useful, because a few weeks later, your boyfriend crawls through your window, dressed head to toe in armor.
"Hey, doll," he drawls, "Can I borrow your sword?"
"Sure," You chirp back, more preoccupied with your book as he saunters over to the sword, "what for?"
"Artie's got confiscated, and we haven't gotten to steal it back yet," he supplies, stopping long enough to pull his helmet up and kiss your head.
"Oh, that sucks," You answer, offhandedly, "Give her and Bizzaro my love."
"You got it, babe," he chirps already halfway out your window.
He does bring your sword back, covered in green blood, but no worse for wear. It still looks great on your wall.
He brings you a box next. It's kind of ugly looking, but you thank him nonetheless.
"Be careful with it," he tells you as you flip it over in your hands, "It opens boom tubes."
You almost drop it, and if you hadn't already experienced the power ring, you would have shrieked at him. Instead, you manage to put it down very carefully and calmly ask, "It does what?"
"Open boom tubes," he answers, which clears absolutely nothing up, "I figured we could use it to country hop for our next date night. You know, dinner in Paris, drinks in Dubai, dessert in LA."
"Okay," You answer slowly, as if that makes complete sense.
It turns out, it does. Date night is lovely, and making out with your boyfriend on a random beach in Spain is very, very nice.
Batman waiting in your apartment to take back the boom box isn't so nice, though.
Jason tells you it was worth it. He's absolutely right.
The third thing Jason brings you is a plant. Flowers aren't a rare show of affection from him, but ones that move are.
"Uh, thank you, Jason," You start, prodding at the moving petals, they nuzzle your fingers the same way a kitten would, "But I don't know how to take care of these."
"Same way you take care of any other plant, water, fertilizer, nutrients, all that fun stuff," he says fondly, stroking a few of the petals.
"What if it gets sick," You ask, uncertain.
"We'll call Ivy," he says, unbothered.
"Right. Ivy. Poison Ivy. Who you know," You mumble, but the little plant is already worming its way into your heart. (You affectionately name it Daisy, for no other reason then it sways happily when you say that name)
The fourth thing Jason brings you makes you laugh because you know exactly what it is, "Jason, we can't keep this."
"Why not," he pleads, shaking the bright green quiver filled with arrows at you.
You giggled harder, smiling wide as you shake your head at him, "We don't even know what those do. Don't some of those explode?"
"So what," he huffs, practically pouting, "We can ask Roy. And it's not like I don't know my way around explosives."
"I guess so," You relent, trying to stifle your laughs as you inspect the bright green arrows, "How did you even get this?"
His eyes light up mischievously, "Do you really want to know?"
You stop short and narrow your eyes at him, "I would lose my plausible deniability."
"But you wanna know," he says, sly and playful.
You do. (It involves mutated chickens, tar, and one distracted Oliver Queen. You hang the quiver next to the sword)
Jason's getting ready to leave, bags packed and helmet lazy held under his arm, "Can I bring you back anything specific, doll" he asks, his free hand resting comfortably against your cheek, "Lasso of Truth? Maybe something with magic?"
You grin at him, leaning into his touch, "I actually do have something in mind."
"Oh," he prompts, eyes glinting with excitement.
"I want to complete my batarang collection."
He falters, "Your– what?"
"No one has," You exclaim, pulling away to showcase your collection, "I have Nightwings, Batgirls, Batmans, yours, of course, one of Robin's. But I'm missing Spoilers, Batwomans, Signals, and Red Robins."
He blinks at you, "That's– if that's what you want."
You giggle at how dumbfounded he looks, practically bouncing back over to him to kiss him, "Thank you, Jason."
He catches your waist and pulls you back in for another, longer kiss that leaves you both breathless and panting. His voice lowers, like it's a secret, "I'll bring you back some batarangs. See you in a few days?"
"See you in a few days," You echo, and he winks at you as he tugs on his helmet, leaving out your window.
Sure enough, you get your batarangs when he gets home. It takes some convincing, a few kisses that leave you senseless, but you get Jason to help you mount your batarang collection alongside the sword and quiver.
"I should get you a plasma rifle next," he drawls, admiring your growing wall of weapons.
"I think I'd fall over if I tried to shoot one of those," You point out, all smiles.
"I'll teach you," he tells you, hooking an arm around your waist to draw you closer.
Jason's a man of his word, and sure enough, he brings you home a plasma cannon after his next mission.
You only destroy most of the shooting range in the batcave when he lets you try it out.
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