#they're both dumb (affectionate) but i love them

[mmmichyyy]

if you’re still taking prompts, 53+94?

#53. "take off your shirt."

(1.6k words of ian being a lovable dumb idiot and mickey going along with it)

it was a spur of the moment decision. one minute ian's getting off his shift, the next he's pushing open the door to the tattoo studio he passes by every day just around the corner from his apartment, a sign blaring MILK in bright neon lights welcoming him.

"hey," ian greets the overly-pierced girl sitting at the front desk. "do you take walk-ins?"

the girl snaps her gum. looks him up and down. "are you looking to get pierced or inked?"

"uh, inked." ian fidgets with the hem of his sleeve. "something small, on my arm, maybe. i don't know what i want, though. i haven't really... thought it through."

"well, all our artists are busy right now," she says, unbothered, handing him an album and a clipboard. "so if you don't mind waiting, flip through our flash book and see what kind of design you want, then fill out the consent form when you're ready."

ian nods. "should i wait here or..."

she points down the hallway. "room three is empty right now. i'll send one of our artists over in a bit for a consultation."

to ian's relief, the studio isn't like the grimy tattoo shop he went to a couple years ago. from what he can see, the place is kept clean and sterile, everything neatly organized and spotless. he settles into the leather-cushioned chair and aimlessly flips through the album, eyes glossing over page after page of designs.

honestly, he has no idea what he wants. he doesn't even know why he's doing this; why he wants a tattoo memorializing someone who was barely a fleeting presence for his entire life. how do you sum up a whirlwind and a hurricane? how do you solve a problem like monica? he and his siblings always jokingly asked each other.

but there was always a hint of despair, an unsaid sliver of yearning every time monica was brought up, because... how? how?

which is the very reason why he can't talk to his siblings about any of it - everyone has their own complicated relationship with monica, but no one wants to acknowledge them out loud. their mom is dead and all she left behind are faded memories, paper cuts on their hearts, and a couple kilos of meth.

...and now ian is getting a tattoo for her. go figure.

the longer he sits, however, the more his self-doubt starts to creep in. he starts to wonder if it's too late for him to back out.

"you my seven o'clock?"

ian looks up and finds a man staring at him curiously. a man with dark slicked-back hair and pale skin and a single silver bar piercing above his right brow, framing clear blue eyes. swirling intricate designs run down his arms and disappear underneath a tight black t-shirt - one side all colour, the other black ink only.

shit. this guy is fucking hot.

immediately ian's mind goes blank.

"uh... yes?"

"cool." the man closes the door. "name's mickey. did you fill out the consent form yet?"

mickey. the synapses in ian's brain short-circuits. "not yet...?"

mickey nods, as he heads towards the sink in the corner of the room. "you can fill it out while i set everything up. is this your first time?"

"no." ian lets out a breath and picks up the pen attached to the clipboard. "i've done it before."

"really." mickey surveys him up and down. "i don't see any."

ian winces, glad mickey can't see the patriotic eagle under his shirt. one of his many regrets, unfortunately. "it's um... hidden."

mickey's brows furrow for a moment, before his eyes light up. "ah. gotcha, man."

ian's not sure what to make of mickey's reaction - but he doesn't trust his mind to not say something dumb to who just might be the hottest guy he's ever seen standing in front of him, so he keeps his trap shut and quickly fills out the form before handing the clipboard over.

"so," mickey looks down at the form, "ian. do you know which side you want it on?"

ian blinks. "side?"

mickey blinks back at him. "right or left?"

ah. which arm. "left. i need the right one for work tomorrow," ian jokes.

mickey gives him a strange look. "sure."

ian watches as mickey snaps on a pair of black disposable gloves, then sets out some needles in sealed packages on a silver tray. he didn't think mickey would be a stick and poke kind of artist instead of using a tattoo gun, but at this point ian could care less the method in which he gets inked.

"you nervous?" mickey asks, noticing ian's fidgeting fingers in his lap.

ian lets out a breath.

"kind of," he admits. "my mom... she died recently, and i wanted to get something small to remind me of her."

"you..." mickey pauses. "you're doing this for your mom?"

"why?" ian asks, getting a bit self-conscious now. maybe mickey has seen a lot of his clients regret getting tattoos for their parents. "you think i shouldn't?"

"it's your choice," mickey replies slowly. "if you want something to really remember someone by, then this will do it."

ian lets out a breath. "yeah," he nods. "let's do this."

"take off your shirt, then," mickey says, and ian's brain once again goes offline because of course it does. "i'll sterilize the area first and then we'll get started."

in hindsight, if mickey was just some average-looking guy or literally any other person at all, maybe ian would've caught on earlier. do his due diligence and change the fire alarm batteries in his head, instead of letting the warning bells beep incessantly. he might've thought to himself hey, that's weird, why do i need to be shirtless if i'm getting a tattoo on my arm? and before i confirmed what design i want? when i don't even know what i'm getting? hm? hello?????

but alas, because clearly all rational thoughts have been thrown out of his head (did he have any to begin with?), he quickly unbuttons his emt uniform shirt and tosses it over the side of the chair. subtly yet not so subtly flexes his arms a bit, because hey, why the fuck not? he works out. he's fit. sue him for wanting to show off a bit.

except nothing, absolutely nothing, could've prepared him when mickey wipes a cool, stinging alcohol wipe across his left nipple.

ian yelps. practically falls out of the chair and almost lands on his ass. mickey just stares at him, gloved hand still held up.

"i– uhhhhh– look, there must be some misunderstanding–" ian sputters, feeling his cheeks heat up. "i'm getting a tattoo on my arm, not my, uh...."

"nipple?" mickey supplies, the corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards.

ian wants to die.

blames himself for thinking with his dick. or rather, not using his brain at all.

either way, he wishes he could pass away on the spot. cut the brakes. burst into flames. end it all, right there and then.

before he can say any parting words and then forever perish from the mortal realm, he feels something drape over his shoulders. looks up to mickey a mere breath's distance away, covering his shivering back with his shirt.

is that a smile on mickey's face? or is ian being delusional once again?

delusional. definitely delusional.

"sooo,” mickey drags out the word, “i guess you're not my seven o'clock nipple piercing appointment?"

ian shakes his head as he hastily buttons up his shirt, ignoring the heat filling his cheeks. "i guess there was some kind of mix-up, the girl out front told me to go wait in room three."

mickey rolls his eyes. "i swear sandy messes up on purpose just to fuck with me. how hard is it to keep track of three rooms?"

"you didn't think it was weird someone would need their right nipple for work? or that they want to get something pierced for their mom?" ian asks, a little incredulous.

mickey, ever full of indifference, merely shrugs. "hey, i don't know your life, man."

there's an awkward lull in the air. ian's eyes dart towards the door, hoping he can make a quick exit and then, perhaps, find a cliff and walk off it. "well, i'll just go then..."

"come back tomorrow night," mickey cuts him off, to ian's surprise. "you said you wanted something small, right? mandy's the best at doing fine line shit, she can help you design whatever you're thinking of."

"sandy, mandy, mickey. what, are you all related?" ian jokes weakly.

"cousin and sister," mickey shrugs. "it's a whole family affair up in here."

"okay," ian nods slowly, watching mickey turn on the tap to wash his hands. guess he’ll postpone his cliff walk for another day. "i'll come back tomorrow then."

just as ian’s about to bolt out the door, he hears a soft hey call out to him. when he turns around, he almost gasps when mickey’s standing directly behind him, and quite nearly has an aneurism when mickey reaches out his fingertips to straighten out his collar, blue eyes directly staring into his soul.

"don't take off your shirt for her though," mickey says, and ian's breath hitches. "bitch doesn't deserve a free show."

before his brain could stop his mouth from running (seems to be a common occurrence today), ian asks, "you liked what you saw, then?"

mickey pats ian's cheek twice, then steps back. "i don't hook up with clients, as a general rule."

"well," ian can't keep the hopeful tone out of his voice. "maybe after tomorrow then, when i’m not a client anymore?"

this time, ian knows he's not being delusional.

mickey's lips are definitely curved into a smile.

“guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.”

[shapeshifterraccoon]

me talking about my otp like: These fucking idiots, these dumb motherfuckers, I love them so much and they're so stupid omg

[insert-this-fire]

Can I request dating headcanons for poly Deadpool and Wolverine with gn s/o please?

I’m going to assume its based off of the deadpool and wolverine movie and not other content the two are in.

Poly relationship between deadpool x gn!reader x wolverine, movie verse.

It would be hard to tell when the three of you started dating. 

Logan and Wade were already toeing the line, when you were added it just sort of pushed things over the edge. 

None of you really realize you’re dating till Wade’s ex, Vanessa, says something.

Nicknames! We all know Wade is big on nicknames. You’d get really dumb ones, like chicken nuggets, honey butter biscuits. His favorite would be butter or jelly if you’re with Logan. That way it would be peanut butter or peanut and jelly and he’s the bread.

Logan isn’t big on nicknames though, he mostly calls you by name, the generic sweetheart or darlin’. Probably has a third nickname for you based on your looks or name like he did with the x-men. He doesn’t use it often due to the sudden self loathing he feels.

Be ready to always have someone's hand on you, or one of them touching you. Logan more often than Wade actually. 

Logan is always beside you when the three of you are out, he’s gotta protect his partners. He knows Wade can handle himself, but you? Even if you can he will jump in front of you or sneer at anyone he deems a threat.

Logan may not be that physically affectionate with Wade, but he spends a lot of time with him, even if he seems annoyed you always spot that small little smile and soft look in his eyes.

Logans main love language is quality time. Wade’s is acts of service surprisingly. At first you would think Logan’s was acts of service, he always seemed to be that sort of guy. Wade you thought would be words of affirmation due to how much he talks or gift giving. Nope, he likes to do things for you. Might not be great at fixing the holes in your home he has made, but he sure can make up for it by making you some microwaved chimichangas. 

Some say that you’re the glue keeping the three of you together. They’re wrong. Wade is. 

If you and Logan are fighting, Wade is right there ready to throw down with Logan if he’s in the wrong, or annoy the shit out of you if you were. 

Both men are emotionally constipated in different ways, trying to go on dates without something going wrong is rare, but you wouldn’t change it for the world.

If you are upset, the two of them try their best to cheer you up. They’re really bad at it.

God forbid you’re physically hurt though. You either get babied or the two of them don’t realize how physically hurt you are due to their healing factors.

When Wade is hurt though, around you, he likes to play it up. If he isn’t having one of his bad days. Logan though likes to make sure you don’t see it.

I hope you know how to cook, these boys don’t, if you don’t, well… y’all order lots of take out then.

if you're gnc it takes Logan a long time to understand it, Wade gets it right away. But at least they're trying?

[mrpenguinpants]

Please go out with me for tax benefits!

— When you randomly pointed to a handsome man and declared him to be your boyfriend, you didn't think it would get this out of hand. You just wanted a couples discount!

— Alhaitham, Ayato, and Kazuha

-> Part 2: Overdue Bills [Masterlist]

This was originally written for my upcoming "Help me break my engagement by marrying me instead." fic but I got carried away and it became too plot-heavy. So I made a new one. Most of these have nothing to do with money, I just thought the title was funny.

Alhaitham

You blame Kaveh for this. This is entirely his fault and you will not be convinced otherwise. If he hadn't opened his big mouth to Alhaitham about the fact you've been spouting that he was your boyfriend, then you wouldn't be in this mess. It wasn't even that serious, it's not like you were actually emotionally invested with the man and this was all a delusional dream. You barely knew the guy aside from the multiple rumors about him in the first place. You just needed to access some limited-edition books for your thesis and his name happened to be the easiest way to get ahold of them. Sure, you may be lying to authority for the better half of a year about your relationship with the scribe, but it's not your fault they didn't ask questions. If you happened to threaten to tell your very scary and very influential "boyfriend" about this "mistreatment", that's just a byproduct if anything. But now you have a very irritated silver-haired man crowding into your personal space asking why the hell you're announcing to the world that you're both in a relationship. It's creepy. He called you creepy. Is this where you roll over and die in shame?

You swear you didn't think it would get this out of hand. You just happened to spot him in the background while the librarian was giving you a hard time and your dumb brain-to-mouth filter was taking a break that day. So you just blurted that you were Alhaitham's partner and that he would be very upset to hear that you were being treated this way. It's not completely far-fetched, Alhaitham seems like a very, very, private person and on the off chance you were telling the truth? Well, the poor librarian didn't want to lose her job. Besides, it's not like you were planning on doing anything illegal and you don't think you're the absolute worst person to be fake-dating.

By some stroke of luck, or maybe he felt too much pity for you, Alhaitham decides to cut you a deal rather than get you kicked out of the Akademiya. He gets multiple love letters, confessions, and heart-eyed individuals trailing after him all the time. Frankly, he's getting tired of it and since you've already taken the liberty, he won't say anything if you don't say anything. Though he makes it clear that if you ever do anything embarrassing, you're taking the fall and he's going to pretend he doesn't know you. A bit harsh but that's only a safety net. Plus it's not like you actually want to date him so he wouldn't have any commitments. The added bonus is that since he's well-known for having a...rough personality, you don't need to act affectionately with the man or go the extra mile. As long as you have each other's backing, you'll get to check out any textbook you want for free and he gets to be left alone. So for both your benefits, to the rest of the Akademiya you and him are a couple.

You should have known this deal was way too good to be true. As soon as people hear that Alhaitham acknowledges that you're his partner, they're on you like rabid fungi. In comparison to the scribe, you're far easier to prod and poke for any gossip and your quiet day-to-day life is suddenly thrown into the wind. Multiple people a day come to bother you about what it's like to date the moody man. It gets to a point where you have to actually dress incognito just to go and get some coffee. Seriously, didn't people have deadlines and exams to prepare for then to hound you down to talk about your fake love life? Alhaitham is no help either, only shrugging off your complaints and telling you that this is what you agreed to.

He's a horrible partner, fake or not. This isn't your storybook romance where he suddenly falls in love with you, he straight up ignores you sometimes! If anything, this entire situation has stopped you from feeling intimidated by him. Before you wouldn't dare approach him, his appearance and body were enough for you to shy away. You're impulsive, not blind. Alhaitham is drop-dead gorgeous but now that you've reached such an absurd situation it stops intimidating you. You begin to regularly pester the man because you know that even though you're both not actually dating, it would look really bad if he shunned you constantly.

He actually doesn't mind you. Unlike Kaveh or anyone else who interacts with him, you know how to be quiet and independent. Most of the time you both sit in silence, the only noise between the two of you being the flipping of pages and the scratching of ink against paper. If you ever do speak, it's always with a purpose. It's just a bonus that while everyone stares at your table, no one ever approaches. If they need to speak with him, they see your body right next to him and they decide to come back at a later time when he's alone.

Over time, he finds himself seeking you out instead of the other way around. He's come to find your presence comforting and it's the only time when he can actually sit down and read. Being an observant person, he starts to notice your little habits. For one, touch seems to be how you interact with others. You always bump elbows whenever you greet him, pinching his half coat whenever you want to drag him to see whatever captured your attention, and nudging his arm with your hand whenever you need him to bend down so you can whisper something into his ear. He's honestly surprised and concerned that he doesn't push you away with your skinship. If it were anyone else, he would have sent them a sharp glare and pushed him off but he doesn't for you.

All things must come to an end eventually and you've finally finished writing the last sentences for your thesis. Your pat on the back is the firm shut of a book as a deep sigh escapes your lips. Tired but relieved. The goodbye is uneventful, you simply tell him that you don't need him to pretend to be your boyfriend and he's free to live out the single life. He just nods and with that, you're gone.

No one says anything when they notice that Alhaithem sits at a table alone for the nth time that week. There are a few whispers back and forth about how you either got fed up with this attitude or he realized that he was way out of your league. Either way, everyone assumes you and Alhaithem are no longer together and his routine before you arrived settles back in. Yet, he feels off. He refuses to call it longing, you both were hardly affectionate in the first place, but he feels a bit lonely without your presence beside him. it's been plaguing his mind ever since you packed your things and left. He's hardly been able to concentrate on his book, rereading the same sentence for the fourth time before snapping it shut. Letting out a deep sigh, he runs a hand through his hair before setting it against his closed eyes. What's gotten into him?

"Is this seat taken?"

His eyes shoot open, turning around to see you with an armful of books looking expectantly at him. You look nervous and he can't lie to himself that he doesn't find that just the slightest bit endearing. He can tell that you're struggling to carry all of them from the slight shake in your hands.

"I thought our deal was over?" he says this but he gets up anyways to take the books out of your hands and places them on the table. You just roll your eyes at him because of course that's what he would say first and push forward. You're probably the only one who would act so brazenly in front of him besides Kaveh but he doesn't find it irritating when you do it.

"What? So I need to be in a relationship with you just to sit at a table? I know your ego is big but not thattt big," you stretch your words as you settle comfortably into your seat.

He wonders when he started thinking of that specific chair as yours.

"No. I suppose not," he says with an exasperated smile as he sits back down. You beam back at him as you shuffle your chair closer to him as you open your textbook, your fingertips gave that familiar tug for him to lean in closer.

"Good, because I need some help with this section. I have no idea what the hell "bloom" is."

Ayato

Although Valentine's day was mostly celebrated in Mondstadt and Sumeru, Inazuma still liked to dabble in the festivities during the day of love. Various couples' discounts on tricolored Dango or limited edition books from the Yae Publishing House. There was one popular series in particular that was having a huge discount to celebrate the holiday and even though you weren't in the market for a partner, you weren't going to pass up on such a steal. Only for your excitement to fall flat when the lady informed you that the discount was for couples only.

You can't believe this. You just stood in line for hours only for them to tell you this now? What kind of shady place was this? Of course, they didn't advertise the specifics of this sale, they knew this book was popular. People waiting in line wouldn't just walk away once they found out and they would end up paying full price! Well, two can play this game. You randomly gesture off to the side, saying that your boyfriend was just standing off to the side because he wanted to grab some refreshments. You aren't really looking where you're pointing, too busy digging through your pouch and counting your coins of mora before a sharp gasp stops you. The lady quickly bows and beams at you with a mega-watt customer service smile. She hands the book to you free of charge while profusely thanking you for your patronage. You look off to the side but you don't see anyone, but you weren't going to say no, so you shrug and take it. A free book is a free book.

To be fair, you were making it really easy for the Archons to mess with you. You hear whispers around you that you can't make out, anytime you glance at passing people, they quickly bow and shuffle along. You have a horrible sinking feeling forming in the pit of your stomach and you quickly rush home so you can avoid whatever the hell you just caused. Unfortunately, word travels fast in Inazuma, and every shop you pass by you're being confronted left and right with sales pitches and gifts of appreciation for your partner's hard work. All of which you decline, half of it because you're not actually in a relationship and the other half because you have no interest in their gifts. But you've already dug yourself this far in your grave so you just give a hasty no thank you as you try and dodge everyone who looks at you with that glimmer in their eyes. Who did you point at to receive this much praise?

Ayato is greatly confused when people approach him to congratulate him on his engagement. He wasn't planning on getting married any time soon, his duties as the Yashiro Commissioner taking up most of this time. Did the elders set someone up for him without informing him first? He's curious about who his mystery person is but everyone he asks doesn't seem to know where they went. Apparently, his fiancee is shy but humble, declining gifts from various shopkeepers no matter how expensive they are.

That's until one of the children points in your direction and his eyes slide over to you who looks just as confused as him. He's never seen you in his life and you don't look like anyone from a significant clan. He gets clued in that you boldly announced your relationship with him when you were checking out a specific book meant for couples only. Ah, he's starting to understand now. He offers a piece of candy for the helpful information as he makes his way over to you. His mysterious fiancee.

As soon as the man in front of you says Lord Kamisato's name, the uneasy weight in your stomach drops. You quickly spin on your heel to see the pale blue hair and amused light purple eyes. Oh. Oh, Archon's above, please, out of everyone you could have pointed to, please don't make it be the Yashiro Commissioner. You're about to burn this book into ashes and do a ceremony to banish whatever youkai were stored within the pages if you manage to make it out of this alive.

If Ayato was upset about this situation he's found himself in, it would be immediately wiped away because you look like you're about to collapse. He's trying his best to not laugh at your torment right in front of you, but the mix of emotions that's so openly displayed on your face is making it hard. It's obvious that you didn't mean for this to happen, you've just tripped and fallen into a web of misunderstandings. Too entangled to explain yourself without making a fool out of yourself.

If looks could kill, this storekeeper would be dead on the floor twice over. This man calls out to the Yashiro Commissioner, and just to add salt to the wound, proudly congratulates him on his engagement with you. You said nothing about an engagement, you're far too young to be thinking about that thank you very much. But Ayato just nods along with that ever-pleasant smile without bothering to correct the situation. You're not sure if you should be thankful or not. He might be planning your murder in his mind so you stay silent as well.

When Ayato's gaze shifts to you, you do what any creature does when they're in danger and there's nowhere to run. You hide. You automatically raise your book to cover your face so you don't need to look at the source of your embarrassment. Although it does nothing to hide just how red your face is, you don't see him and that's good enough for you. But this also means you don't see the questioning glance the storekeeper shoots Ayato about your behavior, to which Ayato gives a pleasant smile and waves a hand to dismiss the situation.

"Please excuse my fiancee, we didn't mean to announce our engagement so early," Ayato muses, and the storekeeper nods in understanding while you bring your book down low enough to peer over the edges of the pages. Is...is he covering for you? He looks down expectantly at you but when you don't move, he awkwardly coughs into his fist and tilts his head toward the shopkeeper.

"A-Ah yes, that's right! It was a slip of the tongue and I hadn't realized I said it out loud. Please excuse my behavior," you bow and you can hear Ayato turning his head to snort into his hand. This is awful. You think you would prefer if he just outted you so you didn't need to show the world how awful your acting skills are. This is why you read plays, not star in them. But the shopkeeper nods in understanding, apologizing for saying your engagement so loud for others to hear before you're leaving with Ayato's arm wrapped around your waist.

"I'm deeply sorry. There was a discount for couples only and I just pointed in a random direction and it just happened to land on you. I swear I didn't mean to start any of this," you quickly rush out as you bow before Ayato as soon as you're out of sight from the public eye. He still has that annoying look in his eyes but you're completely at his mercy right now. The smug bastard definitely knows that.

"It's no trouble at all. I found the situation quite entertaining," he chuckles before looking you up and down. Okay...a tiny bit weird but you suppose your actions are worse. There's a long silence between the two of you as if he's pondering something and you've had enough of today's events.

"Um...well if that's everything I'll be getting out of your hair. Please enjoy the rest of your day Lord Kamisato," you mumble as you turn to leave but his hand hooks onto the back of your kimono and drags you right back.

"Ah, ah. It would make a bad impression if my fiancee suddenly left me on Valentine's Day. Oh and please, call me Ayato," he smiles that same polite smile but his eyes tell a different story entirely. His smile even widens at how hard you're biting your lip as you match his with a strained one. For Archon's sake, you just wanted to buy a book, how did you get into this mess?!

Kazuha

As soon as Inazuma's borders reopened, you were jumping on the fastest ship back to Liyue. You even got extra lucky that your good friend Beidou happened to be on the pier and offered you a well-deserved ride back to your home free of charge. You've been so homesick but unable to leave due to the regulation the Electro Archon placed, so to say that you were excited to finally go back was an understatement. Although the Crux Fleet was mainly an armed carrier delivering goods between places separated by sea, it did occasionally transport passengers if they paid enough. It only made sense that others would be like you and wish to return home as soon as possible. It's too bad that one of them happened to take one look at you and decide that you were born to be his.

It's an incredibly awkward affair. This wealthy businessman doesn't appear to mean any harm but he's incredibly dense with no sense of social awareness. Although you've politely declined his advances, he doesn't seem to stop. Even when Beidou herself threatens to throw the man overboard, he just keeps his distance and makes heart eyes at you. Unfortunately for you, Beidou can't actually throw him into the cruel watery depths no matter how much you plead with her. The man seems to be an important figure from Snezhnaya so she can't exactly treat him badly. Thus you spend most of your time ducking away and running away from your creepy admirer.

You're usually not so bold but the mix of overwhelming homesickness and just wanting to get this journey over and done with, all of it compels you to act rashly. If your new admirer can't take a simple no then you'll find a different way and show him you're off limits. You've seen the man who sits on the crow's nest, you believe Beidou said his name was Kazuha, whose been a part of her crew for a while now. You've only made passing small talk with each other and he seems like a nice person, at least you hope so. Because as soon as his feet touch the ship's deck, you're throwing yourself at him. You have to give him credit, he has lightning-fast reflexes and is a lot stronger than his demeanor expresses since he manages to catch you and stop you both from sprawling across the floor.

You make a show of throwing your arms around him and whining about how he doesn't spend enough time with poor dear you. You can tell he's infinitely confused so you lean in and whisper into his ear about your creepy stalker who can't take a no. Your eyes desperately plead with him to play along with you, just until the ship reaches Liyue Harbour. It only takes Kazuha to look over your shoulder and lock gazes with said "stalker" before he's turning to you with the most tender smile on his lips and a soft apology for being neglectful. A promise to spend more quality time to make up for his behavior. You swear that should have been an omen because you feel your heart stop for a second right then and there.

It's not completely out there. As the lookout, he would have to stay up in the crow's nest most of the day, and given how soft spoken Kazuha normally is, he doesn't look like the confrontational type. But he does make good on his fake promise and you find yourself spending most of your time in the crow's nest with Kazuha rather than ducking into the shadows of the lower deck. Kazuha is a relaxing presence and you can understand why he stays up here rather than with the rest of the crew. The gentle sea breeze brushes through your hair and it's so peaceful all the way up in the sky. You're almost jealous that he has an anemo vision because you think you'd love to stay in the winds forever.

He's also a gentleman through and through. You're not entirely sure if he's just pretending alongside you or if that's just how he normally acts. You think both options are equally plausible and endearing. At some point, you forget that you're supposed to be doing this for show to keep a creepy man away from you and you genuinely start to seek him out. It's during one night when you watch Kazuha whistle a tune through a leaf that you realize just how deep you're in. Now your position is reversed and you start to feel like the creepy heart-eyed stalker. It's something that you must absolutely not let happen, not on your watch.

Your sudden distance from Kazuha leaves him a bit hurt. He knows that this originally started as an act but he felt that you and him were getting close to each other without any ulterior motives. That all your talks of your dreams and aspiration were real and meaningful. But now that you've suddenly pulled back, he question's if everything was made up in his head. It's not like you owe him anything, he decided to help you out from of his own volition. Beidou can only look at this scene painfully at her two idiotic friends pushing themselves away from each other because they can't sit down and talk it out.

She drags the two of you into a private room, her only warning to fix your emotional angst or she really will throw you both overboard. You both know she's entirely serious so you both obediently nod as she slams the door closed.

Beidou leans against the wooden crates with her head propped up with her arm. She should probably stop watching, she's being far too nosy with her friend's love life, but what kind of friend would she be if she wasn't? She hopes you both managed to talk it out and realize that you're both crushing hard on each other. She had been far too busy with Liyue fastly approaching to check in on your progress but from the looks of things, she thinks everything went well. With the red cheeks and your fingertips linked together, it's so cute that she wants to gag on her wine. Don't get her wrong, she's happy for you and Kazuha, but any more of this puppy love is going to send her into an early grave.

"You're not going to stay in Liyue?" she overhears you say. Huh? She honestly thought that Kazuha might pitch a tent and finally settle down with you but the small shake of his head and your fallen expression says otherwise. Damn, talk about a heartbreaker. But he gives you a soft expression, something really vulnerable, and his hand comes up to caress your cheek- and that's her cue to turn away. That's something that even she knows she shouldn't be watching. She instead takes another swig of her cup.

"Captain."

She looks up to see Kazuha standing beside her, the air of nature and sea breeze clinging to him wherever he goes. She politely doesn't bring up the charm clutched tightly in his hands.

"You sure about this kid?" Beidou asks, her eyes still trained on her empty cup of booze. She doesn't need to look to know that he's watching your back disappear into the crowd longingly.

"If I try to force something I know I'm not ready to finish, it would only lead to disaster. Right now isn't the right time. But I'm sure in the future, our paths will cross again," Kazuha nods to himself solemnly. This time Beidou does look at him before she shows a fond smile herself before she brings her arm back and slaps it against Kazuha's back. It's loud and hard enough to jolt him out of his temporary sadness.

"If you ever need a ride back to Liyue, just let me know. We'll get you there in no time lover boy," Beidou grins cheekily as Kazuha flushes a bright red. How cute, he can't even be honest with himself huh?

[princessoflalaland]

I kid u fucking not, im genuinely tweaking thinking about the jjk men, specifically nanami and toji. the complete polarity between them drives me insane.

nanami would treat you like a complete and utter queen. craving something only available across town? he's already in the car the seconds the words leave your pretty little lips. period causing your day to be less than perfect? heat pads, comfort foods, blankets, candy- anything you need will be at your disposable. he's a good listener, affectionate, doting, understanding, mature, he is a MAN.

and do not let him know about your sexual needs. mans will (responsibly) drop whatever he's doing to come satisfy you. put that pussy on his nose, let his tongue trace the insides of your tight, gummy walls, he loves it more than you do. let him drill into that pussy until you're both on the brink of passing out with you mewling his name, how good he is, how deep he gets, how much you love his dick, he loves it wayyyy more than you do. ride him to your heart's content, sloppy licking and kissing into his mouth because you know why: he loves it more than you do. he'll make love to you every night if you'll let him, and I have an inclination you would. I mean, who'd wanna miss out on the sweet vulgarities he'd purr in your ear while he rearranges your guts?

"my pretty girl, takin' me so well." he'd huff into your ear. your legs splayed out near your torso as he has you in your all time favorite position: the wonderful mating press. "ah, God," nanami hissed, face pinching with overwhelming pleasure. "you're squeezing me, baby..gonna make me cum.." he'd lift his head where it was tucked away in the crook of your sweat-slicked neck, staring into your very soul with a dangerous mix of adoration and hunger. "want me to cum inside you, love? pump this pretty pussy f-full of my cum?"

You became his world and whatever his woman wants, she gets, no questions, no debate.

Toji, ohhhhhhhhhh TOji toji toji. He's my guilty pleausre, I swear to you. I've committed my heart, soul, and body, to nanami, I've claimed him as my jjk husband, BUT toji truly is my forbidden fruit. I have to fight actual demons not to imagine him pounding into me from behind, the side, upside down, up into me- in any way shape and form simply because feel like im being disloyal to Nanami :(

(mind you these are fictional men created by a Japanese sadist name Akutami Gege, I need to be committed to a mental institution at this rate)

AHEM, anyway, Toji is a blunt lover, and here's what I mean: (in my head) he may not be the best at communication or very good with his feelings, but he'll do his damndest to be upfront with you. he'll try his best to do what he thinks is best for y'alls relationship and with your help, he gets better at voicing how he feels. idgaf what you gotta say, he. will. spoil. you. yes, keeping money isn't something he's always been good at, BUT that all changed when he got with you. Mans made an entire savings account just for you. his money is your money basically; whatever you want is yours, no questions asked. he'd be your ride or die. no one gets to you without getting through that sexy, delicious, mountain of a man. he'll damned if he lets anyone even think about disrespecting his lady. he'll gladly rearrange their face, maybe even end their bloodline, if they're dumb enough to try. toji is...idk the hood nigga of jjk if u ask me, and if you think really hard, that's headcanon enough.

its one of the undisputed facts of the world that toji has that dawg in him. he will, happily, gladly, proudly, rearrange your insides, then give them a fresh paint job with his cum. he'd talk that nasty shit in your ear too while he's pounding you from behind.

"ohh, this pussy so good f'me, ma. so wet, so fuckin' tight....g'nna fuck 'er nice 'n good, maybe leave a baby in 'er too.” he'd growl, his tip bullying your g-spot at a punishing pace. "you'd like that, wouldn't ya?" he'd pull you back by your hair, keeping your back flush against his broad chest while his rough hand traveled down your navel so his thick fingers could torture your clit. "want a baby fucked into yer tight, nasty pussy. ohh im gonna fill you up baby. fill this perfect, fuckin' pussy..."

the forbidden fruit is toji fushiguro, you cannot change my mind.

this was mindless nanami and toji drabble because I need them, istg im tweaking bc maybe they aren’t so different…

[weebsinstash]

sitting here suddenly consumed with thoughts of Alastor x dog Reader because like

-Reader who is easily excitable and gets loud on accident and kind of easily distracted and you've got a tail that wags and Alastor adores his lovely little idiot puppy darling

-endless entertainment for him, really. You're just so... fun for him to fluster and get reactions out of, whether it's watching you get embarrassed you can't hide your wagging tail, or if you have expressive pointy ears, or you're getting scrappy and competitive with other dogs/hellhounds. He gives you a cheesy compliment and you could be rolling your eyes and telling him to fuck off, meanwhile your tail is making loud rapid thumping noises against the nearest surface and he always knows when he's hit one of your weak spots

-something something "being a dog is representative of you being kind of a bimbo; you're super friendly and cuddly but you're not always very bright and you get aggressive sometimes and also You Will Die Without Constant Love And Approval". I am all for super cunning yandere manipulating their lovingly dim-witted or at least just less intelligent victims

-just. Ok. Picture poly radiostatic and one of them is at home with you and the other one is out, and, say Vox is with you and he looks up from his phone to see you settled by the window watching the street, ears occasionally perking and drooping as you think you see dots of red on the street, and eventually Vox watches your tail just start wagging super fast and you all but race to the door and the second it opens and Alastor comes in, you're just giving him a big hug and maybe kisses idk to welcome him home, like 🥺❤️ Vox just clutching his chest as he saves the video of you being all sad by the window and all but racing to hug Alastor to his cloud storage, his back-up cloud storage, his back-up back-up cloud storage- also he shows Alastor the video later and, the Radio Demon won't admit it but he's extremely grateful for the sophistication of Vox's tech to capture every single pixel of your excited face as you realize you see your favorite cannibal coming from down the street, like.... you completely break through their defenses with your cuteness

-ngl, taller Reader with Vox and Alastor has been hitting me different and I can just see big fuzzy dog Reader scooping them both up and, not exactly manhandling or roughousong per se but just like, very openly affectionate, hugging lots, even picking them up, lots of cheek kisses. I wanna be like. A big lovable dumb Great Pyrenees or something. And also maybe peg them, because why else would their waists be so small if not for me to grab--

-Reader who uses magic to hide they're a dog from Alastor 🤝 Reader who uses their abilities to hide the fact they're a computer from Vox. I keep thinking of Readers with shape-shifting abilities and all the cute forms you could have but also the capacity for like, SUPER body dysmorphia since you can go from having hair and skin to either too much hair or no skin at all, kwim? Imagine being in some sort of transformation and that's when you meet one of them or another yandere or friend or whomever and then you're convinced they're not gonna like the real "ugly" you. Reader just hears Alastor say he doesn't like dogs and you get all depressed because you're his red string soulmate or some shit and you think he's gonna head for the hills (meanwhile he finds out and thinks you're absolutely precious)

-dog Reader who instead of licking just gives lots and lots of cheek and face kisses, like the shit you give to your cat almost but totally genuinely. Dog Reader with their separation anxiety ass getting like, kidnapped or something by some dumbass who thinks they can fuck with the Radio Demon, and you get saved and just all but tackle Alastor to just mwah mwah mwah all over his face while your tail wags, like 😭❤️ he'll never admit how much he likes it though-

- something something "when yandere Alastor finally takes you into his clutches, he'll probably make jokes about what a naughty puppy you've been and how he needs to collar you" and brings the whole dog theme full circle. What's the expression? "The bird who has always been caged dreams of freedom while the free bird wonders of the safety and security of the cage?" You could really apply this to any yandere story period but I also feel like the "you've been really betrayed and hurt and traumatized and might not be the best at taking care of yourself anymore and being taken care of by your captor is simultaneously terrifying yet welcomed" theme runs slightly deeper if Reader is quite literally having their physical form basically manifest as an epitome of emotional attachment and loyalty

- Alastor genuinely embodying that cop show meme of the woman holding the puppy except it's him and his darling. "Now I've had this scrappy little delight for just a mere day and a half now and if anything foul ever befell their poor soul, why, I think I would slaughter everyone in this Hotel, the rest of Hell, and then myself! Hahaha!"

[kneelingshadowsalome]

i'm not sure if that's true but i've seen somewhere that bunnies can symbolise fake innocence so...,.,.. (also im so sorry this is so long :,))) )

idk maybe just the image of women in könig's head seems to be something similar? they're sweet and helpless and need someone bigger to protect them. in that way they hold more power - no one ever assumes that a woman could be cruel or downright evil.

and so does könig, even though it's almost a conscious choice to him. he'll let women use him and manipulate him so long as he gets the privilege of being approached by them first despite being visibly much bigger and stronger. and that also being exactly the same as people feeling special when someone's pet likes them, especially cats (usually very distant and seemingly unaffectionate) or bunnies (again, easily scared and also distant in their own way) 🥲

(and speaking of this. i keep thinking about an au where. idk how but reader and köni simply go to the same church (possibly with their families) and he sees her as this sweet innocent girl and their families know each other so well and his parents love her but she turns out to be the one who shows him that sex outside of marriage is actually very fun and so is witchcraft lmao 😭 im sorry)

I’m so into the whole bunny thing, esp after what Orla & Syl (@/konigsblog and @/comfortless) just posted…….

I'm 110% sure that König gets both protective and predatory over someone (seemingly) innocent and meek, he's drawn to her like a bee to honey. His mind and soul and hands are so dirty that he seeks redemption through protecting this adorable little woman who reminds him of a helpless pet. He wants to feed and protect and stroke her, make her love him and only him, with her, he becomes the epitome of a pick me boy. He just wants her to be his little bunny girl, let him scratch her from behind the ear or some place else...

And our shy but endearing bunny babe doesn’t dare to tell this big, affectionate giant that he’s trying to make it look like she’s the dumb, clueless one in this scenario when in reality, König is the one who’s on a leash here... Poor guy! With every little wink of her imaginary tail, she gets him to do whatever she wants: manipulating this big dork is laughably easy. Not that she wants him harm, but who wouldn’t want to play cat and mouse with someone who’s basically asking for it? She can provide him the rush of the chase he so seeks, just a small bite of her lip makes this poor man hot and bothered already.

König always apologizes for getting carried away, for being a little too rough with her when he kisses her raw and gets a little handsy. He doesn’t want to seem demanding or coercive: but she’s just so sweet that he can’t take it… He's about to cry and wank and crumble during his pathetic confessions to her, only she can grant him mercy, always being so lenient with his heated advances. He's just a weak man, she's too good for him, bla bla bla – she pets his head while he sighs in her tits, hard again after just cuddling her.

They have to wait until marriage, that's what he always pants when hovering above her, so hard she can feel his whole cock through her dress. She’s going to make a grown man cry soon with those vein-popping boners she gives him, and the hardest part is to stifle her giggles at how easy it is to tease this poor guy... König doesn’t even know that she’s not that innocent, far from a virgin actually with how she’s fantasizing about him every night with her 6” dong with suction cup. One time he almost caught her playing with herself when he came rushing back to her room after forgetting some godforsaken book there...

[cotton-could]

The depth of the Beetles brothers

My favourite sibling relationship in KND is definitely the Beetles brothers and I feel like they don't get the recognation they deserve, they're very adorable and is by far the most healthy sibling relationship but it does have some interesting aspects. Lemme break it down:

🍼; Wally had to step in to parent Joey

I find it interesting how the normally irresponsable Wally is suddenly the most responsible boy when his brother is concerned, almost like he's fulfilling the role his parents failed to fulfill. Wally's parents are oblivious at best and painfully irresponsible as seen in the D.O.D.G.E.B.A.L.L episode, where both parents doesn't even react to a grown and elderly wizard attacking their baby, they don't even get mad at him. I know it's "haha adults are being dumb and useless 😂" but this doesn't paint them in a good light since Joey needs someomeone to rely on and clearly he can't rely on his parents (I'll talk about it later), Wally on the other hand, he protects him, scolds him, looks after him and raise him, despite being the eldest brother, he acts more like a stern but loving father than a brother. The guy went berserk when he thought his baby brother was hurt, a clear contrast to their parents' reactions when Joey was in real danger. Wally became the "adult" Joey needed at such a young age...

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

🧸; Wally is Joey's comfort and safe source

What I find most endearing in their relationship is that Wally of all people is Joey's source of comfort. He knows how to take care of himself as seen in D.O.D.G.E.B.A.L.L but this trait is apparently forgotten because in S.A.F.E.T.Y he doesn't use his dodgeball skills but actually, the trait wasn't forgotten, it's because he feels safe and protected with Wally. Remember his brother was knocked out when he was fighting against the wizard while his parents did nothing but in S.A.F.E.T.Y he didn't even tried to crawl away from danger, he's either paralyzed or searching/waiting for his brother but after seeing his older brother, he's cheerful and smiling again.

So when his source of comfort is shattered (when Wally gets mad at him), he just crawls away from him while crying and refuses to hear his apology. And this is despite the fact that Joey has seen his mom get mad (who's scarier than his brother when angered) at Wally and didn't cried. And this makes sense because his mom isn't his source of comfort like Wally.

Joey probably considers Wally his best friend, as he's always there for him when he needs it and gets to be vulnerable.

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

🍬; Their parents' irresponsability are what makes their bond strong

Similar to the previous point but now more focused on the parents. They're trying, their dad works 2-3 jobs and the mom is a housewife but.... they're very irresponsable. They let a baby fight a wizard (I know they were tied but they didn't even tried to break free or telling the wizard to back off) and let a baby wander around all alone without bothering to look after him. It's one thing to be busy and to try but it's another to leave a baby who's at oldest a year old, see his brother without thinking of the possibilities he might get run over, kidnapped, get lost, crushed, etc... Yes, he knows how to defend himself but he's still a naïve baby, this would make Joey finding safety in Wally more understandable.

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

🥧; He brings the best side in Wally

It's undeniable Wally is a good person but he always does his hardest to keep his sweeter side hidden, even with Kuki, so when it comes to apologizing.... He pretty much needs to go through painful experiences or get his pride in shambles to do it but with Joey it's a different case. He's not only openly affectionate with him (when he always avoid to do it with his friends and sometimes acts disgusted when he receives affection) but he genuinely apologizes to Joey in front of his friend/ally and the villain, he shows vulnerability in an environment he knows his pride would be destroyed and taken advantage by the villain of the episode but he doesn't care because his brother comes first. He calls Hoagie out when he asked Joey to dance, whispering him he's doing it because he wanted to be nice. Wally is not the nicest kid and it speaks volume of how much he cares about his brother's feelings when he wants to show his softer side.

And let's not forget how he spent the whole episode using his own body as a shield for Joey, not caring about the competition he's been trying to win because his baby brother is hurt, etc... When Joey is in the picture, Wally drops all his foolishness and becomes serious and responsable.

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

🍟; Wally's parental role is taking a toll on him

It wasn't really focused on the show but from what we saw, it can be assumed he's also playing a fatherly role to Joey but... in the scenes he was shown crying, he takes it a bit too far, he's reacting how Joey should be (the cut was fake but still) and has a meltdown after destroying the robot because his brother is hurt but he reacts more like he failed Joey.

And I get him, because in the whole episode he was a jerk to him, made him cry, Joey didn't really accepted his apology, he indirectly caused Joey's "cut" and is bleeding. None of it were positive interactions at all and it kept getting worse, even if he protects him, it feels like it's not enough. If it weren't for Hoagie, Wally wouldn't even forgive himself at all and would think he's a failure of a brother because he couldn't prevent his little brother from getting hurt.

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

🧃; Wally's hidden jealousy

This one isn't that big of a story but it's still interesting. While he has a positive relationship with Joey, it's implied he's jealous of him and we can see that in S.A.F.E.T.Y when Joey unintentionally stole the spotlight from him, telling him to go home and eventually snaps at him.

And in D.O.D.G.E.BA.L.L he might be secretly in denial about not really defeating the wizard but Joey. When Hoagie tries to inform him, he immediately refuses to hear him because deep down he knows Joey did it.

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

🍭; In spite of this, Joey does admire Wally and is his hero

In a blink-or-miss moment, Wally does his silly dance before preparing himself and in the next few scenes, Joey is seen the make the same dumb dance as Wally for the whole episode (which Wally is completely unaware of).

Joey's reason to be here in the first place is because he wanted to see his brother in action and to root for him. He does have/mimick some of Wally's habits such as being a great fighter, being aggressive to enemies he can take down, being bored of his dad's stories and the silly dance.

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

🍊; Wally is actually the father figure Joey needed

They may bicker and stuff but it's clear they love each other. With their parents being irresponsable and Joey not having an adult to rely on, Wally is the closest thing he has to a father figure. He's not the perfect one because of his anger issues but considering his age, it's justified but despite that, Wally is a good influence and presence in Joey's life. Wally takes great care of him and is always gentle when handling him even when he's mad at him (like carefully putting him on the floor instead of dropping him on the floor). Yes, Wally can be very harsh on him but it was mostly out of love, anger and concern (he could've been more tactful about it but his anger was understandable). And Wally has more emotional responsability than most adults in KND as he apologizes to Joey and makes up for his harsh behavior with hugs protecting him from danger. And his actions are what made Joey forgive him, he rejected his apology but after seeing how Wally will put himself at risk so he can be safe was what made him realize that Wally does care about him even when he gets mad at him.

It can be unfair for Wally to fulfill such a heavy role at such a young age but it's clear he doesn't regret it and knows no one else would look after him. He never took it out on Joey and this shows the maturity Wally has.

✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆✿

Hope you guys liked my post about them, those 2 makes me so ill, I love those sillies so much! If anybody makes content of them or Joey content, please tag me, I'm a huge Beetles Brothers and Joey enjoyer.

[herejusttosufferalong]

I've been a Lukola shipper since last year, and I've been reading all the male POVs. So, I decided to ask the dudes in my life about this whole situation. I talked to some of my male BFFs and my brother. I'll start with what my brother, who's 15 (I'm 19), had to say.

Over the past three days, I showed him most of the interviews, especially the unhinged ones, all the hand-holding clips, Tif's edits, etc. Then I introduced him to the GF and gave him a brief rundown of all the antics - Instyle, NY and London premieres, Deuxmoi, pool pics, Milan, GQ.

Here’s what he thinks:

Luke and Nic LOVE each other. Luke probably loves her more, or maybe she's just better at hiding it. Nic is affectionate towards everyone, so it’s not as apparent. My brother thinks Nic is really funny and obviously beautiful, especially after watching her solo interviews like "9 Things I've Never Tried Before," ASMR, and accents.

Luke is being hot and cold. After I told him about the break after Brasil, he said that makes sense. It seems like whenever Luke goes back to his friends, he comes back acting like a dick. I showed him Luke's hot boy summer phase and the NYE video of them dancing. He said Luke acts like a dick when he's with his friends, especially Rory, who seems like the leader. He even noticed Tom and said Luke should hang out with him more. When I mentioned Rory breaking up with his GF and now dating Sienna (who's 23), he immediately clocked it and said, “Wow, Lukey did the same.” In a very not impressed tone. I couldn't stop laughing.

Nothing happened in Brasil. My brother thinks Nic would never do anything shady. The interviewers and overall vibes of Brasil were super chill, so Luke let himself loose a bit. However Nic seemed the same, maybe a little more giggly.

NY and London premieres:

NY: They looked fine, but Luke seemed pissed for some reason. The hand moment was insane. He thinks the GF blindsided Nic and set up the videos of them hugging, because why aren’t there videos of others?

London: Nic seemed a little wary, and Luke looked downbad. Luke T and Nic either need to work together or date, or both, because they're cute. Simone is definitely a shipper. He also thinks Golda might be a shipper, but she seems to have clocked Luke’s shit and is side-eyeing, which he is too. The Deuxmoi stunt was dumb and embarrassing.

About A, R, and S:

Rory: Luke hangs onto Rory’s every word, so the GF might not be going anywhere as long as she's in the friend group. My brother hates Rory and thinks he's Luke’s constant during the hot boy summer phase. Rory wasn't seen much before that. Other Anons, is this true?

A: A is in the relationship for the perks. The Hailey Bieber cosplay is gross. My brother almost puked when I showed him the thread comparing A and HB’s outfits. A is obviously trolling the fans, which is boring.

S: He doesn’t think there’s anything nefarious going on with S, and it’s good for her that she’s going to Jack M's classes, but it’s weird that it's only happening now.

In conclusion, my brother thinks this whole thing is going to drag on for a lot longer, but that’s a huge maybe since Luke and Nic are coming back for S4. If Luke's friend group manages to infiltrate the sets, it won't matter much because everyone adores Nic and seems protective of her. A is going to stay as long as she can. Right now, my brother hates Luke and thinks he screwed up royally, even as a friend. It’s a bigger deal if there are non-platonic feelings involved. He wants to see Luke make a thank you post for S3, because that's the least he can do. Luke needs to figure his stuff out, and it seems like whenever he's on vacation, things just get worse. Basically, he needs to GET A JOB and things will sort themselves out.

Wow, that was a lot. Never thought my brother would be so mature!

Also can someone clarify if R was still such a huge part of L's life before his HBS?

Damn the 15 yo is smarter than some grown ass folk in the fandom lmao

LOVE x

[skz-celine]

✯ RELATIONSHIPS WITH SKZ MAKNAE LINE !!

the relationships types celine has with the maknae line ! of skz

✯ JISUNG && CELINE : rank 1 in popular relations ( they're a comedy duo and absolutely always producing something weird as well as always hugging, cuddling, or touching in some way but 100% platonic )

pin board now playing : sure thing - miguel

these two are like twin flames in the way they work. their interactions are often filled with light-hearted teasing and affectionate gestures. They share inside jokes that revolve around playful nicknames and funny anecdotes, which bring a sense of warmth and joy to their friendship.

you will not find these two sitting next to each other and not hugging, cuddling, or anything of the matter ( unless in interviews of course ) , they're always together like her legs could just be on his whilst sitting and they'd just be paying no attention to it bc its so subconscious its a natural habit.

she also feeds him a lot and whenever she cuts fruit or cooks food, he'll be the first she feeds ( besides leader bang chan )

many fans would describe their relationship as mother bird to baby bird since she tends to often care for him as such. She is a little shorter than him ( and I mean by sooo little, emphasizing so) so he'd often lean on her whenever she was standing next to her.

we all know jisung is notorious for using baby/jagiya as a nickname and it's something he also tends to call her as well. "자기야 그거 나한테 줄래?"

he also sometimes jokes and calls her noona ( older sister ) because she scolds him sometimes for his messiness.

and to that of course our comedian is gonna reference his first line in "WOW" and be like "jeogiyo nuna hoksi namjachin-gu isseoyo" ( excuse me noona, do you have a boyfriend?)

they weren't always peachy though, their relationship is crazy.

back when she first joined the group, he was also one of the unsure members but he was a little vocal about it often mumbling stuff as she messed up and got frustrated. it was a hard time for all of them at that time and that contrast just made it worst.

it wasn't until he caught her crying in frustration that he went over and spoke to her, apologizing if he's made it even worse for her and explaining how he was stressed. she explained how it wasn't just what he was saying or the distance of the members but with the add on to the fact that some fans weren't happy with her joining and that she was nervous to officially debut with the group because she'd be even more hated if she didn't do things right

they had a long chat that day and talked deeply about everything.

✯ FELIX && CELINE : rank 4 in popular relations ( physical playfighting as a love language, teasing and mockery duo, they both love changbin)

pin board . now playing: young, dumb, and broke - khalid

they are notorious for always hitting each other. it's always soft and never actually hurts but it's something they always stick to bc their love language = hitting

whether it be her wearing a hat and he just hits the top of it, covering her eyes or her randomly jumping on him , hitting his arm, they're somehow always in fight or flight mode.

they're close in the aspect of teasing , that's their way of bonding. "cejin-ssi, wanna watch me play this game?" "are you platinum yet?"

he's for sure glaring at her with a tired and insulted smile on his face while she's cackling like a witch.

in fact, he even referred to her as one.

"what is my favorite holiday?" she was reading a comment before she leaned back, pondering before felix squinted his eyes and begun to speak

"i think... halloween maybe? cause- you're like... a witch y'know?" cue the grin and her glare before she pushes his office chair across the room.

✯ SEUNGMIN && CELINE :: rank 2 in popular relations ( they act like such a married couple and he always acts opposed to her affection but he secretly adores it. )

pin board . now playing : looking after you - joy again

absolute married duo, they're always arguing in some way but it's like their debate love language.

seungmin will not pass up an offer in finding some way to bother her and she both hates and loves it.

like for example, she could be lying down on her bed scrolling through her phone and then he comes into the room and sits down next to her before surprising her with a pillow to the face and now a pillow fight has broken out with lots of silent giggles and cries from whoever is being sat on with a pillow on their face

celine is obsessed with seungmin's teeny waist and will grab it randomly with affectionate aggression , squeezing it tightly as she replicates that little angry puppy face he always does.

he'll do it as well sometimes but it's only ever subtle and when she doesn't notice.

we know seungmin is someone who seems like a menace and revels in being cold and heartless but he's very deep when it comes to love and care towards the kids and whenever they have talks, like he'll listen to her, she'll listen to him. and thats what he truly likes about her; the fact she'll listen whenever he rants and shows genuine happiness whenever he gets her a gift despite pretending to hate it when he initially gives it to her.

whenever they do lives, she'll have her phone angled to where seungmin can see it from where his head rests on her shoulder. she knows they always tend to use his phone for the lives for whatever reason so she'll have something to keep him entertained.

they hold hands sometimes , especially when it's cold she'll just be slightly jumping beside him, trying to get rid of the cold feeling that freezes her skin

and seungmin will just be standing statue-like as he has a small smile on his face, his forearm slightly bouncing because of the jumping girl beside him

✯ JEONGIN && CELINE

pin board . now playing : where is smiley ? - serani poji

celine and jeongin, since their days are so close are the type of people that act like twins who are fighting to see who's the eldest.

celine and Jeongin’s relationship can be best described as twin-like, marked by playful banter and an affectionate sibling dynamic. with celine’s birthday just days before jeongin’s, she often embraces her "older sister" role, delighting in asserting her dominance over him. she often says stuff like “I’m older than you, respect me.” which often gives her eye rolls and playful protests from jeongin

she doesn't often like physical affection by him since she's not used to it ( he doesn't like physical affection either ) but she'll resort to head massages which he often likes and will clothes his eyes for them because they comfort him.

she's one of the first he'd call if he'd gotten arrested, besides seungmin and the obvious leader bang chan. she's always there to listen to his rants and his insecurities and there to help him feel better

sometimes, when he comes to her room to nap, she'll say "tell me about your day" and he'll be lying in her bed just talking about the day. she uses it as asmr and ends up drifting into the best sleep imaginable and wakes up, drooling with vocalracha standing over her face giggling and taking pictures

SKZ-CELINE , 08 / 24

< back to masterlist

[scrambledlikeeggs]

Zedaph sheep posting never fails to make me so incredibly happy- I have grown up with sheep and love sheep very much and I also love Zedaph a lot too so it just makes me so happy

On that note would like to clarify some fun sheep facts I have experienced:

They can really fucking jump. You back a sheep into a corner? Well they will be jumping over the nearest fence like a freaking horse and then promptly forget they can do that cause they are also really fucking dumb /affectionate

2. they're pretty chill animals seriously not much will properly bother them- snow? They have fleece, a very determined sheep dog? Just ignore him, someone trying to do their morning run? Chase them round the field (can confirm very scary)

3. Sheep shearing is both harder and easier than you would think- and sheep's fleece is much much heavier than you would expect and much harder to sell as well

3. Final fact, if you see a sheep often enough they recognise faces- especially if you can associate yourself with food, raise a lamb from birth and bottle feed them? Friend for life follow you anywhere.

I have no clue how these animals have stayed alive so long but I love them very much.

Anyway enough sheep posting- well maybe just some photos...

Well lambs but derpy fucking creatures anyway

[forgeofthenine]

When you said you can't drink hot drinks rn because it's hot for a moment my dumb ass was like "huh, they're so into the characters, they're straight up writing from Elturel down in Avernus". And then I remembered the southern hemisphere exists....

Anyway as a countertenor, I wonder how the Bachelors would react to someone serenading them. And also how they'd feel about someone serenading them. (Also kind of about countertenors since a loooot of people are weirded out when hearing my low speaking voice and then very high singing voice, if that's not too ultraspecific...)

(Also also, I feel like E Lucevan Le Stelle from Puccini's "Tosca" is such a Zevlor song. Imagine you're getting closer to him, flirting here and there, then during the party getting close. You promise to see each other again. And then everything goes to shit. Now he is trapped in the pod, unsure how much longer he has, terrified of turning into a mindflayer any second now. And he thinks of you...)

These headcanons are a combination of the above request and the anonymous request 'I like to sing, I sing when I get the chance alone. Now I wonder how the three tiefling bachelors react to a singing love interest?'

As for the hot drink thing, this ask and the hot drink one came in after multiple days of 27/28 degrees Celsius as the daily high and I actually felt like I was in the hells lmao. Sometimes I also wonder if people can tell where in the southern hemisphere I'm from by the way I write...

The song you suggested is beautiful and absolutely gives big Zevlor energy, I recommend any Zevlor fans check it out on youtube :)

The bachelors with someone who sings

Dammon

There's nothing Dammon likes more than coming inside from his forge and hearing your singing filling the house

If you sing specifically to serenade him that's even better

Dammon loves to both praise you and be praised, and there's hardly higher praise than someone singing about their love to you

Blushes so much if you sing him a love song, flushes even more if you sing a song that has innuendos

He could honestly listen to it all day

I feel like when the two of you are having spring cleaning days around the house he'd ask if you wouldn't mind singing

It makes working inside so much more pleasant for him

When you're singing while doing stuff he'd absolutely join in, though I feel like his singing voice isn't bad but it isn't anything special either

Dammon just loves getting to hear your voice, especially if you happen to be singing

Zevlor

Please sing for this sad tiefling

He hardly knows what to do with himself when you serenade him

Zevlor loves it, but suddenly doesn't know how to stop his face from flushing or his tail from swishing

Absolutely gives you the sweetest kiss when you finish

It's such a treat for him to hear you sing, nevermind the fact your singing your love for him

He loves it

I feel like Zevlor is good at shanty style singing, the hellriders definitely used to sing while working or on long rides

Sometimes he still softly sings some of his old work songs

He'd absolutely melt if you decided to join in and sing with him

It soon becomes one of Zevlors favourite pastimes

Rolan

Rolan loves to hear you sing

Even better, he loves when he's the only one to hear you sing

For you, in private, to serenade him with a love song is almost too much for him to handle

He feels like his heart is going to burst with love for you

Just think of all the sweet things he murmurs between kissing you after you sing for him

But, such affections should be only in private

Speaking of in private, when it's just the two of you ask him to sing with you

Out of all three of these men he's definitely the best singer

His voice almost sounds magical-

Rolan will reluctantly agree to sing, and after a while would get much more into it

The type to lead you in a very simple dance while the two of you sing

Just a very affectionate boyfriend that loves hearing you sing

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

I have a fluffy idea for once! No prompts from the list, just brain thoughts:

Adam has been staying in the hotel for a few months, very reluctant to participate at first, but slowly warming up to it. Him and Lucifer had a long conversation about Eden at some point, and since then they've gotten increasingly domestic with each other. While they're not openly in a relationship, they'll sleep in the same bed, have movie nights together, cook together, and be generally affectionate. They try to be subtle about it, but Husk and Angel both picked up on it rather quickly, choosing to keep it between the two of them that they knew.

Cut to the moment: Charlie set up a bonding activity for hotel residents! Ballroom dancing, to build teamwork, trust, and coordination. They switch partners a few times, but of course Luci and Adam end up together eventually. The two of them, having both been important figures in heaven at some point, definitely have ballroom dancing experience, and it shows when they dance with each other. Once the music reaches its end, they're so caught up in each other that they end it with a kiss... in front of everyone. Ensue dramatic reveals, probably some flustered Adam, Charlie being baffled, momentarily angry, and then just really enthusiastic. Them finally getting to be saccharinely domestic with others present :))

Feel free to do with that what you will, I just wanted some domestic fluff <3

Indigo (aroace, lonely, and coping through fictional ships)

AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!! IT'S SO FLUFFY IM GONNA DIE! LOL

At first Adam was only at the hotel for salvation, to not be murdered a million times over by blood thirsty sinners who wanted revenge.

He tolerated Charlie and her stupid exercises, he was present for them but never really participated. Until one day he said to Hell with it and gave one of them a try. It wasn't bad, but still dumb in his opinion.

At some point he had befriended the porn star Angel Dust and by proxy his boyfriend Husk. Turns out they had a lot more in common than Adam originally thought. They would go out drinking and shoot the shit, it was nice to have friends.

Lucifer was an issue in and of himself. He sold his soul to the guy in exchange for protection and it had been awkward being around him in the beginning.

It's been six months now and Lucifer said he wanted to talk to him. Adam has thought he was in trouble for something he might have done.

But no. The king wanted to talk about Eden. REALLY talk about Eden. He even apologized for his role for the downfall of the garden. They sat on Lucifer's bed talking for hours about Eden, the good and the bad. When he even apologized about taking Lilith, Adam told him not to worry about it. It took him leaving the garden to realize she wasn't his type.

They talked so long they fell asleep. That was the first time they shared a bed and from then on, it felt weird NOT to. So they just shared a bed, it just kind of happened.

Adam remembers the first time they cooked together, it was breakfast with the works. That's kind of how he found out he is shit at cooking. So instead he would hand Lucifer the ingredients and the King would cook the food. He remembers when Lucifer placed his hands on his hips to sneak by and how the touch made Adams heart race.

Adam and Lucifer shared lingering touches that lasted a moment or two too long. How their eyes would lock and they would share gentle smiles when they thought no one was looking.

Angel and Husk saw all of this but didn't say a word. The couple would go public when they were ready.

One thing Adam could make was microwave popcorn. Which him and Lucifer shared as they watched horror movies, snuggled up on the couch, sharing a blanket with their fingers laced together underneath. Adam's head would rest in the crook of Lucifer's shoulder. Sometimes Adam would fall asleep and wake up in their bed.

They weren't exclusive with a defined label, but what they did have was nice.

Today, Charlie wanted to do a new trust exercise. "We'll be doing ballroom dancing! It's a great way to build trust and have fun at the same time. Now, everyone grab a partner. We'll trade off every now and then."

"Piece of cake." Adam said, he had lots of dancing experience from being in heaven. What he didn't expect was to be teamed up with Alastor first. "Keep your fucking hands where I can see them, asshole."

"Trust me, I don't want to touch you any more than you want me touching you." The music started and they began dancing. Adam saw Alastors eyes look over his shoulder, that's when the radio demon brought him in closer. His hand on Adams waist, the fallen angel thought he might be sick. "But if it pisses him off, I suppose I can suck it up."

Adam creased his brow and looked over his shoulder behind him. If looks could kill, Lucifer would have had the deer demon explode into chuck sized pieces. His face softened when he saw Adam looking at him.

"Switch!" Charlie called out.

Now Adam was dancing with Vaggie, much better than that freak. They didn't speak the whole time, which was fine.

"Switch!"

This time, finally Adam was pulled into Lucifer's arms. He smiled at him as they swayed together in perfect harmony, the music moving them. "Hey."

"Hey, did that asshole hurt you?"

Adam snorted. "No, that was just to piss you off." He felt Lucifers arm tighten around his waist bringing him closer. "But if I said yes, would you beat that fucker up?"

"I'd do it just because he touched you." Lucifer meant it, he didn't need a real reason to go deer hunting, but if that fucker laid a hand on Adam he'd kill him.

Adam felt his heart flutter, butterflies danced in his stomach. "I feel so special."

Lucifer twirled Adam outward and pulled him back in. "You are special. To me especially."

They stared into each other's eyes, Adam could get lost there forever. It's like nothing else existed but them. The music stopped but they didn't let go of one another. Adam and Lucifer kept eye contact a few moments more before Adam felt a hand in his hair, with half lidded eyes he looked at Lucifer's lips as he looked at Adam's. The hand in his hair guided him closer until their lips met in a tender kiss.

Adam opened his mouth when Lucifer's tongue licked at his lips asking for entrance and deepening the kiss. Adam sighed softly as the hand in his hair grazed the base of his horns, his own hands clung to Lucifer's shoulders holding him close.

"Dad what the fuck!?"

Adam and Lucifer pulled apart like they had been burned. Oh no! Everyone fucking saw them makeout like a couple of teenagers. They shared looks of shock. They never slipped up like this. They turned to see everyone looking at them with varying degrees of emotions.

"I fucking called it." Angel said looking smug, Husk handed him a twenty.

Adam felt like his face was on fire, embarrassment starting to set in. He was getting uncomfortable with everyone looking at him like a fucking zoo exhibit.

"Charlie I can explain." Lucifer started.

"Explain what? That you've been seeing Adam behind my back and didn't tell me? Cause that was a very passionate kiss."

Adam wanted to die a third time. He put his face in his hands. He was sure all the blood in his body was in his face. "God dammit." He swore under his breath.

"Charlie, dear. Don't be mad, I didn't want to say anything to you until I was sure how I felt."

"How do you feel?" She asked.

Lucifer removed one of Adams hands from his face, Adam looked at him and swore he melted at how gentle that look was. "I, I care a lot about him. Adam makes me happy in a way I haven't felt in a long time."

Adam felt the same way. "So do I." It came out just above a whisper, just for Lucifer to hear. His smile was so wide it hurt his face.

Charlie looked at them and her temper simmered away into nothing. Oh. "I'm glad you're happy dad. I just wish this wasn't how I found out about you guys."

"I'm sorry Char, we kinda, got lost in the moment."

"Like right now?" Angel chimed in. "For the record, you guys dance amazing together. I can only imagine what it looks like when you fu- ow! Husk!"

Husk had pinched him. "No one wants that mental picture."

"Are you mad?" Adam finally asked.

Charlie sighed. "All I want is for my dad to be happy. If that's with you, then so be it. Just don't hurt each other." That would be one hell of a break up.

"Thank you, Charlie." Lucifer said. He pulled Adam back in for another kiss, this one sweet and soft. Adam's heart raced and thrummed with joy.

"Get a room you two!" Angel yelled.

That they could definitely do.

[fountainpenguin]

Any tips for writing Cosmo? I'm struggling a bit with writing him and I'd thought I'd ask you since I enjoy your characterization of him (and while im here, who is the hardest fop character for you to write?)

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy my take on Cosmo! He's got a pretty messed-up backstory in my works and I enjoy him :)

?? In the editor, my pics are arranged "a reasonable way" - next to each other, multiple in a line - but in the queue, they're... standalone, and thus a huge mess. I'm so sorry. I hope it doesn't post that way.

Talkin' Cosmo

This post talks a lot about Cosmo in my 'fics, and I have other Cosmo inspo resources at the bottom if you're interested. I'll give some brief notes before deep-diving into what I've done with him.

Cosmo has his clumsy moments, but he's a very good and protective dad! And that's very important to me.

"Mission Responsible," "For Emergencies Only," "Super Zero," "Farm Pit"

He's here for the fun AND the disciplining! He's on top of both! He's trying to equally protect Foop as much as Poof despite their past grievances! He took a laser for his son in "Playdate of Doom"!! D:

Also, Cosmo in "Formula For Disaster" - I will take a grenade or bullet for everyone in this room. Please let me take a bullet for you.

What is UP with Wanda's multi-season one-sided beef with Foop? lmao. He's always polite to her (Calling her Auntie Wanda compared to Uncle Idiot & tolerating her grabbing his collar and yelling in his face). Who would have beef with a baby who's always apologizing and saying thank you? sdklfjsdfj... (Kick his butt, Wanda) Cosmo's seemingly fine with him and even asked for Foop's business card, but Wanda does not like him. Foop brought Timmy some food he's proud he made and she put him to sleep "until his true love kisses him" without telling him that was the condition of the caramel apple she handed him, and then she told the camera that they were all going to live happily ever after... savage... Girl, that is not very "You have to learn how to forgive people after they try to destroy you" of you. Rules for thee, not for me... I love her, but that's really funny. Cosmo's pretty chill with him. I do not think Foop's relationship with Anti-Cosmo is particularly good. Like??? idk why I'm even asking what's up with her beef- It IS canonically Wanda who wants to kill Timmy's parents (S4's "Fairy Friends and Neighbors," plus she nearly kills Mrs. Crocker in S9's "Fairly Old Parent" and only stops because Timmy warns her he's "not going back to jail with her"), but... Wanda, he's a toddler.

Also, Cosmo even adjusts his body language sometimes because he's trying to copy and improve!! Love that for him!!")

"Mission Responsible"

Shout-out to Cosmo in "School of Crock" smiling and tearing up affectionately when he thinks Poof came out to him... regarding Poof "wanting to marry a cat") and he states that he's both accepting and proud of him. This is not what Poof said, but it's the thought that counts.

Cosmo, they could never make me listen to "He's a deadbeat dad" slander <3

He has his lapses in judgment, but he cares deeply about both Poof and Timmy and works hard to be a good parent to them (and later Chloe too), send post.

The other thing you need to know about Cosmo is that he is SALTY as ALL HECK. But... he plays it in a way that I'd call plausible deniability (considering the "dumb" persona he's set himself up with).

Ex: Cosmo has strong feelings about Timmy's parents (He goes into a panic in "Sooper Poof" because "Those two have no idea how to raise a child!" but he usually keeps that on the downlow. I said above that Cosmo seems chill with Foop, but it's worth noting that he spends an excessive amount of time "trying to get a sprite off Foop" at the end of "Spellementary School" by slamming him with a frying pan, and he says words that imply he's playing dumb about it... Interesting...

Cosmo's way of treating people is very different from Wanda grabbing Foop by the collar and screaming in his face, or cheerfully announcing her plan to put him in handcuffs, or when she slapped Juandissimo in the face with her purse in "Stupid Cupid," or (although I don't consider very-late-series Juandissimo to be an accurate portrayal of his character) when she shoved him in "Fairy Con" and snapped that if he didn't back off, she'd "kick him in the butt-issimo."

Wanda intimidates, presumably because Big Daddy raised her that way. Funnily enough, Mama Cosma also tends to use intimidating (Ex: Being outright mean to Wanda, kidnapping Wanda's dad) to the point that she seemingly spooks H.P. and Anti-Cosmo enough to make them back down when she takes Poof from them. but Timmy straight-up grabs her by the collar and yells in her face, and I think that's funny.

Words cannot explain how funny it is to me that neither Cosmo nor Anti-Cosmo are fans of direct confrontation... but Cosmo handles it by getting up close to bother you, pushing the envelope, and Anti-Cosmo will run away. Ex: "When Nerds Collide" - A.C. pours salt on Jorgen's shoes, tells Anti-Wanda he'll be back for her, then scampers off with a look of terror on his face. This man will only taunt you if you're locked away or he has back-up. He's very easily spooked.

Anti-Cosmo when one fairy (Jorgen) stands between him and his wife: PEACE OUT, BABE!

Cosmo when his family's in genuine danger:

Cosmo does not like head-on confrontation if it can be avoided, as he's much more into mind games or distraction tactics (like suggesting Jorgen scramble the fairies, or showing Jorgen a slideshow presentation to stall for time).

Anti-Cosmo always opts for running over fighting (Literally all his episodes except "Oddlympics," which is the only episode where no one threatens him directly unless you count Cupid poofing up angry cheetahs, which... fair) or else he just plain shuts down ("Fairly Odd Baby" & "Anti-Poof" are good examples).

LOVE his streak of looking confused in the background when he doesn't want to speak up. He's always a little nervous and I think it's funny. Even if you break into his house, he won't even yell at you. You can just do it...

Cosmo 🤝 Anti-Cosmo

Big "I don't know what I'm doing" energy

They just cover it with opposite personas... Anti-Cosmo pretends he knows everything and Cosmo pretends to know nothing.

One of my favorite scenes truly showcases Cosmo's saltiness. In "Jerk of All Trades," he offers to show Juandissimo to the room he can stay in (after Juandissimo loses his corporate housing)...

... and promptly throws him in the freezer. Hey, what??

Keep an eye out for scenes where Cosmo seems smug, because those tend to be the best examples of his plausible deniability / clever subtleties

The beef Cosmo and Juandissimo have with each other cracks me up... I like the OG canon that Juandissimo is terrified of Cosmo. In an early script for "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" (linked), he straight-up says Cosmo is the only one he's afraid of because he's a "warrior" and "a cunning and calculating foe." Like ??? Excuse me?

-> Part of this did make it into the final version with Juandissimo whining to Remy that he's "lucky to be alive" after Cosmo almost turned his hand into a fist! Why is Juandissimo always flaunting his muscles but then he'll whine that Cosmo spooks him... sdlkfj.

- My secret headcanon is that Juandissimo was once witness to Cosmo losing control (as Cosmo is confirmed in multiple episodes to be extremely powerful and dangerous) and he realized then and there that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of that fury. But nobody ever believes him that Cosmo is scary, so he just cringes and whines in the background.

"Bird Song" (Florence and the Machine) is one of my Cosmo inspo songs for that reason.

Also, I live for the scene in "Super Zero" where Cosmo is holding Chet Ubetcha (whom he was taking to find his car) while Chet reports about how Cosmo is a terrible superhero...

... so Cosmo straight-up says "There's your car" and drops him into a volcano. Incredible. No notes. Saltiest boy in the world. It plays rent-free in my head...

He can be salty for a variety of reasons, but it seems to flare up especially when he's being territorial of his family or space

[Very long post (11k words from here) - Click at own discretion]

Major Cloudlands AU story spoilers up to where we are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it.

So... Let's get detailed!

[Basic overview, cnt'd from above; the spoiler bits come later]

Cosmo is a mama's boy! We know that pretty well from canon; it's one of his most obvious traits. However... he won't leave Wanda for her (as much as his mother antagonizes him).

- He's VERY loyal to Mama Cosma, to the point of sneaking her into his and Wanda's underwater castle in "Hassle in the Castle" and not telling Wanda about it.

- I think "Presto Change-O" and "Odd Squad" showcase his attachment well- He's reasonably concerned for her and very caring, but he's clearly living his own life at home.

- When he darts out on Timmy in the former episode, he first assures Timmy that when he and Wanda are back, they'll "all do something really fun and magical together." After Mama Cosma recovers from her 9-hour flu, he doesn't make Wanda wait around and takes the lead in getting them out of there (with a cheerful good-bye to his mom).

Context: My Cloudlands AU 'fics strive to be "as canon as possible," and I'm particularly proud of a scene I wrote in "I Just Live Here" where Foop reflects on family relations (and we see evidence of Cosmo and Wanda's relationship straining due to insults):

Once he came clean about his marriage to a damsel she couldn't stand, Mama Cosma couldn't keep her hands out of his life. She threads her son's mind with all sorts of poisoned commentary and doesn't seem to feel a smidgen of remorse. Like… wow. I lie, cheat, and manipulate people too, but when I try to imagine my own mother fighting tooth and nail to split me apart from my friends, that just seems unnecessarily cruel. It's weird. I know my auntie has done her best to tolerate it (holding her tongue and temper in a way that even I admire), but once when I was lurking around Timmy Turner's house before he came home from school, I heard she and my uncle break into a fight. Well… More of a scolding, really. After three or four minutes of listing her grievances against Mama Cosma, Auntie Wanda simply burst into tears. "I can't go to her house anymore. I can't keep going to these fancy lunches in Fairy World. But I worry all the time that if I don't go, you won't come back to me. Mama Cosma can really stick her hooks in you. I just don't feel like you respect me anymore, Cosmo, or like you believe living with me is an improvement over being a mama's boy and staying all day in your childhood bedroom. I need your support when she bears into me. Can you do that?" "I'll try to be better," was his response, stunned and shaky. I'd felt that way myself, curiosity getting the better of me as I floated as near to the window as I dared, my ear pressed against the wall. I could hear my uncle's fingers fiddling with his tie, wrapping the fabric around and around his wrist. "I don't know, Wanda… She's my mama. I know she can be a little harsh sometimes, but she's just getting a little old and cranky. She wouldn't do anything to really hurt me…" "She's been flinging insults at me for years." "… This is real? It's not all just some smart people test about sarcasm or irony or hidden underlying meanings? I'm not good at picking up clues, Wanda… You know that." Then, more quietly, "I'll try… It's just that sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with what's going on. I never feel like I'm in on the joke, and then when I finally am, it's like everyone thinks it isn't funny anymore. And what's more confusing is that sometimes, people say something I thought was kind of mean and everybody laughs, but then other times, everybody gets real quiet and uncomfortable. It's really hard for me to figure out the difference before the words are out of my mouth. And I don't always know there's something wrong unless it's explained to me with puppets or words… but I'll try. Can you keep being patient with me, even when I mess things up all over again?" "Every time, Cosmo. I love you… SO much…" Well. That had been an awkward thing to overhear. But I know why they had that discussion when they thought they were alone in private. I don't blame my auntie and uncle for trying to keep the trials of their marriage away from their son and two godkids. They're doing what they can to provide stability. My own parents could likely learn a thing or two from them. My father shouts a lot when he's upset, and my mother often floats there and takes it, not saying a word. I've overheard breaking plates and sometimes the frustrated pounding of a hand against the wall, but… Well.

I really like this scene because I think it's a good balance of Cosmo being insensitive, but at least somewhat justified in his confusion and misunderstanding ("But... you also say mean things to me" and/or "People think it's funny and I don't always get when it isn't"). It allows me to treat their bickering as canon while also showing them working things out in the background.

It's got Wanda standing up for herself and Cosmo wanting to be better... and I like my set-up of them talking where they know Timmy wouldn't hear, and Foop's just flat-out eavesdropping. Makes me laugh. Everyone here is spot-on, imo.

"Crocker of Gold" is an episode I like for Cosmo's misunderstandings- That's the one where he dresses as a leprechaun and Crocker catches him and demands gold, so Cosmo takes gold from real leprechauns and leaves them a note. They're upset with him, and both Timmy and Wanda are shocked he left a note. Cosmo claims it would've been rude not to. He generally is following a social script... it just might not match the circumstances he's in. I like to think that he skates through life trying to be polite, salty, under the radar, or playing dumb. Those things have gotten him this far in life, so he defaults to them. -> I showed a screenshot earlier of Cosmo changing his body language to match Wanda's. I don't think it's common for him to want to learn new things or change his behavior, but he's all-in at being a good dad and tends to mimic what he sees Wanda do. He follows role models. -> Jorgen is clearly his role model in "Cosmo Rules," since Cosmo also opts for a military get-up while defending Da Rules despite that not being required (Juandissimo didn't) -> In "Oh, Brother," Cosmo lists things that a brother can do for you- Drive a getaway car, lend you bail money - which he's probably saying because his older brother is a con artist. -> In "Something's Fishy," he even mimics Schnozmo's catchphrase: saying "Two words!" followed by something that's not two words. Hilariously, both of these happened in Season 5- Long before Schnozmo was introduced in Season 7. -> And by that logic, it's not surprising Cosmo can be rude and speak his mind a lot since Mama Cosma and Schnozmo are both known for that. Heck, Cosmo gets under Juandissimo's skin in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by mimicking him, and it was his own idea to do so.

Notably, in Poof's POV section of this same story, he says he and his dad visit Mama Cosma's without Wanda, and shares this:

When I'm with the Cosma side of my family, Mama Cosma lets me put my feet up on the furniture if I want to. I definitely can't do that at my granddad's because my nonna would have a fit. Mama Cosma doesn't care if I eat in the living room, even on her couch while we look at old scrapbooks of my dad and Uncle Schnozmo when they were kids (Plus old yearbooks of her and Papa Cosma… but my papa died when my dad was only two, so I never got to meet him). There's definitely… a weird vibe at Mama Cosma's prim and frilly little house, though. She loves my dad and he'll usually spend the whole visit with me when we go, but my own mama won't set foot anywhere near my grandmother's house anymore. When I was a baby I didn't really get it, but then I learned to read and figured out why. Mama Cosma frosts all her cookies so they say my mother's name with large Xs or strike symbols through them… or if not that, then symbols of raging fire. I feel really bad not eating her cookies because she always works so hard on them and they taste so good, but I feel like I'm betraying my mama when I do. My dad gets quiet and evasive about it, but… he just tells me not to worry. He says I can do what I want, and that if I don't want to eat them, he isn't going to force me. So there's that. I've seen my dad get confrontational before, but he's usually pretty tame around my grandma. I brought up the cookies to my mama once and she tersely said we'd "talk about it when I was older." So I asked Timmy while we were filling out coloring books and he told me everything. Mama Cosma can't stand my mama… Timmy says it's because my mom "took away her little boy" by marrying her, which is what led him to move out of her house and into a new place with my mom. It's weird. There's a nagging feeling in my gut that makes me suspect that's not the whole story. I'm not even sure I want the whole story, so… I guess I'll take my mama's word for it. She'll tell me "when I'm older."

They are brothers, your honor...

Mama Cosma is important to Cosmo. She may not like his wife, but she was also his sole caretaker for tens of thousands of years (knowing what we know about the war between Fairies and Anti-Fairies taking place 90k years ago, since "Balance of Flour" is its anniversary, and we know Cosmo and Wanda have only been together 10k years).

I like to think Cosmo wants Poof to know his grandma since Cosmo and Wanda were cut off for so long. Cosmo has a paternal grandpa on his canon family tree ("77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" - Grandpa Gonzo - but Cosmo lost his dad young and I don't think he's close to his grandfather.

Family's important to Wanda too - she's very close with her dad - and I think she and Cosmo both make sacrifices for each other's happiness and Poof's sake, even though it's hard on them both.

Again, I like to play Cosmo as a mama's boy trying to balance the complexities of his life... Allowing Wanda space away from his mother, but also letting Poof have the chance to meet his grandma, but also telling Poof that if he doesn't want to eat the I Hate Wanda cookies, he doesn't have to.

I also think it's worth nothing that Cosmo tried his dang hardest to be very positive about his pregnancy and childbirth.

- He had a lot of hormones messing with his mood (leading him to be confused when he batted Timmy into the basement while in bear form, then returned to fairy form and couldn't find him), but he was super grateful for his pregnancy (Handled his morning sickness without disgust & we see him apologize for inconveniencing Timmy several times). - He didn't even resent Timmy for snapping at him and telling him to get lost, which is nice since Cosmo has a history of petty grudges. During his contractions, he's the one telling Timmy and Wanda to remain calm and to enjoy "this beautiful moment." - Even while actively giving birth and clearly in a lot of pain, he insisted childbirth was a wonderful experience (fighting for a smile through his tears, his eyes red around the edges as he held and rubbed his belly... Doin' his BEST to get through it). - I think it's interesting how positive he was since sometimes he can be very pessimistic (Ex: "End of the Universe-ity" when he points out that "Fairy powers are totally lame and limited and will last 5 more years, tops" compared to Dark powers).

I have to showcase Cosmo's happy moment followed by /double blinks in confusion as his newborn is taken from him.

Every one of these faces is precious... He's a daddy! Thank goodness he has his precious baby! His hair is still extra ruffled from his stress and strain! He's in his hospital gown! His baby is his world! His godkid is delighted, and Cosmo is so happy to have his two boys in his life! ... oh no. help him.

Does Cosmo have his feet spread under the blankets the same way Peri, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda all spread their feet in A New Wish to support heavy books? That's funny... He has a big baby in his lap...

I think... that covers my overview of How I Suggest Writing Cosmo In General:

- Mama's boy who's thoughtful, salty, a good dad, and doing his best to keep his marriage together because he loves his wife (although he does struggle to find the line for his teasing). He's not big on confrontation, though he'll stand up for his family when push comes to shove. - He does get jealous, but he and Wanda BOTH admit to having crushes outside their relationship; I don't think it's entirely fair to judge Cosmo for his fantasies without also judging Wanda, who's equally blatant in multiple episodes and has very questionable interests. I like to think they both know the other wouldn't really go for anyone else, though I do agree I'm not the biggest fan of these jokes. - He loves both Timmy and Poof. I didn't touch much on Timmy in this post since it's long and there are many good episodes of their dynamic (Timmy has a tendency to trust Cosmo and leap without looking). - Looks for role models to mimic. For better or worse, he grew up with Mama Cosma and Schnozmo, so he can be overbearing, sly, and rude. Loves his baby and his family very much. Very protective... Please let him take a grenade for them.

I think if I were to personally start my take on Cosmo from scratch, I'd ask this:

- What am I depicting Cosmo do? Who taught him this behavior? -> His mom was overprotective of him, so he probably read it in a book, got it from a kid at school, or picked it up form his mom or brother. - If it's none of these things... Why is he doing that action? (If he's older, maybe he got it from watching a godkid or reading a comic book). Is he following a social script from his culture? -> That's a good opportunity for worldbuilding. - He might've put in a lot of work, because something about the behavior is important to him (or was in his past). Since he's often associated with cars ("School's Out! The Musical" flashbacks, "Cosmonopoly," he's the car in "Odd Squad," his racecar bed in "Hassle In the Castle"), -> I've always imagined his car was the one thing he had that was truly his, and it represented freedom from his mom. After all, two episodes confirm he was driving in his younger years (and we know from "Transparents" that Wanda lacks experience)

These are good starting points if you're looking to develop a deep Cosmo portrayal with layers of backstory, though you can always keep it simple (especially for short one-shots).

I do think nailing down your interpretation of Cosmo's backstory is a critical aspect of deciding how you portray him in present day (as with any character). Everyone's vision of his story will be different, leading to their own take on Cosmo (and potentially Anti-Cosmo).

⭐ Here are some backstory jump-off points!

- "This Is Your Wish," "School's Out! The Musical," & "Cosmonopoly" are three episodes from the OG series episode covering the main story beats of Cosmo's backstory (Implied to have lost his dad young, grew up with his mom, forced into military school against his will, sunk Atlantis (9 separate times as of "Something's Fishy"), marrying Wanda). - "Double-Oh Schnozmo" debuts Cosmo's older brother, who clearly takes advantage of him. Schnozmo was off the radar enough that he didn't know Poof existed. Cosmo has great faith in and respect for his brother, and is heartbroken when he realizes Schnozmo took advantage of his trusting nature- There's a moment as he's talking through it that you can SEE the moment he breaks... That to me is quintessential Cosmo.

Cosmo, having just said "He must think I'm the biggest fool in the world!" and freezing up one beat before he hurls his ham into the forest and takes off to be alone... He knows. Their past, their fond memories... How much of it was real to Schnozmo? Does his brother even care for him? He splinters.

- Neither Cosmo's mom nor Wanda's dad knew their children were married until "Apartnership" and "Talkin' Trash" (respectively), though Blonda seemingly did in her debut. Cosmo implies at the end of "Talkin' Trash" that he wants to take over the Fairywinkle family business?? Also, it's heavily implied Big Daddy was going to let Cosmo stay with Wanda when Wanda moved home, and it's important to me...

- Speaking of family, Cosmo found out in "Cosmo Rules" he has von Strangle blood. In my canon, he trains to take over as Keeper of Da Rules after Jorgen after he leaves Timmy and Chloe (and it's probably something I'll carry for him to New Wish 'fics since he could be doing it in his godparent retirement era- especially since Jorgen's more mellow in New Wish). There's lots you can do with that!

- Anti-Cosmo was old enough to represent his people in a truce attempt during "Balance of Flour" (canonically 90k years pre-series, as it was the anniversary in that episode), heavily implying Cosmo and those older than him fought in this war.

- Cosmo claimed he never went to Spellementary School (in the episode of the same title), but in "Love Triangle," he confirms he had a role in the school play.

-> He becomes a "pageant parent" to Poof in this episode, hovering around him and making Poof run his lines over and over even though Poof is clearly uninterested (Wanda even using the words "You know Poof doesn't want to be in his school play"). He reminds me of his overbearing mama!

- "Truth or Cosmoquences" depicts Cosmo's high school years. Juandissimo claims he met Wanda during high school, they're confirmed to have dated, and Cosmo taunts Juandissimo in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by claiming he "lost his woman to an idiot."

-> Juandissimo is on good enough terms with Cosmo and Wanda that he attends, like, 5 different parties at their house in the OG series (including the baby shower Wanda's family didn't show up for) - I don't normally see people treat "Cosmonopoly" as canon, but I personally like it; I use the diner as the place Wanda started to fall for him since she wasn't very happy about being hit by his car. - Cosmo confirmed he designed his Cosmonopoly game to remind him of the day he met Wanda. He heavily implies he went to Pixie World to do his laundry that day (Pixie Woods is a location next to the laundromat). In my 'fics, I depict him sneaking out to get time for himself and using his laundry time to write his books. Funnily enough, Pixie World's laundromat was already established in my works even before this, because Rosencrantz works there. -> This potentially plays into the Pixies having Cosmo on their radar & Cosmo implying he met Sanderson sometime before "Pixies Inc." (i.e. he told Sanderson that if he "doesn't recognize him, it's probably the hat").

- Officially, Cosmo was designed with a 50s aesthetic. You could draw inspo by researching the 1950s. What hobbies or special events were popular?

- He's likely to have Megan Bacon trauma (a past godkid of his from "Past and the Furious"). Canonically, the past versions of Cosmo and Wanda are AWOL when Timmy looks for them in the past because they were hiding in her closet.

-> She's still alive (and fairly young) in present-day Dimmsdale, having gone on to open a notable restaurant seen in many episodes: the Cake 'N Bacon. In "Vicky Loses Her Icky," this restaurant was inexplicably across the street from Timmy's house.

-> Funnily enough, I don't think he really showed what I'd call "Vicky trauma" in the OG series, despite the fact she did mess with him. That's more of a New Wish thing, but I do think he had Megan trauma.

- In Season 5's "Hassle in the Castle," Cosmo and Wanda keep portraits of all their past godkids, including those they had poor relationships with (with these replicas of MaryAnn and Pierre specifically wanting revenge on them; MaryAnn claims they "deserted her."

Cosmo and Wanda instantly recognize MaryAnn when she's running around the castle, even though she killed Archduke Ferdinand and it's been a while since they've seen her. Even Cosmo? Who's not always the best with names? -> That said, we do know Cosmo snuck Mama Cosma into the castle in that episode and her door is down near the portraits. Him sneaking his mom in is a whole other can of worms. Also, they have Crocker's portrait in the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Infamy!

- And if you want to go all the way back to Season 0, Cosmo and Wanda claim in "The Zappys" that their godparenting career is "speckled with failures," which Cosmo seems sad to admit.

- In both the OG series and New Wish, Cosmo and Wanda have separate beds. Cosmo's is a racecar:

Hilariously, this is one of the episodes Wanda blatantly tells Cosmo she's daydreaming about Juandissimo. For all the bickering and irritation and "the ol' ball and chain" and "naggy wife" jokes... I do think it's funny that they're both completely open about having crushes on other people. Totally fair if people have a strong dislike for that part of their characterization, but I can't help but respect the sheer confidence and closeness they have to admit those things and that it won't ruin their relationship.

-> We know from "Stupid Cupid" that Cosmo finds Juandissimo hitting on Wanda annoying, but lets him flirt with Wanda because he keeps sending her food, which Cosmo eats because Wanda doesn't want.

-> Shout out to Cosmo in "Truth or Cosmoquences" when Juandissimo hit on Wanda and Cosmo instantly broke character from his façade as Britney Britney's husband and shoved himself between them... and then had to back down when Juandissimo innocently asked why he was so huffy about him merely asking for a dance with his unmarried secretary 🥺

Season 6's "Wishy Washy" gave us teen Cosmo and Wanda, where we see Cosmo with braces and a skateboard. He confirms to Timmy that at this point in his life, Wanda wasn't his type (because "he likes 'em with a little more swirl in the curl.")

I've always thought it was funny that Cosmo likes to say "swirly" when he's absentminded, like "Portals are swirly." Man's always thinkin' 'bout swirls...

I drew him and teen Anti-Cosmo once!

- After Cosmo started disguising his nose with magic ("The Boy Who Would Be Queen"), but before Anti-Cosmo chose to do the same. - Specifically, Cosmo went through a rebellious teen phase (slipping away from his mom to go play & later pick up a job at the diner, planning to buy a car himself). - Anti-Cosmo became excessively devoted to my zodiac-themed Anti-Fairy culture (He's wearing a shirt depicting the Fae zodiac & wearing bracelets to symbolize being born in the year of Water).

It's very important to me that teen Cosmo and Wanda refused to play along with Timmy until he uses reverse psychology on them by insisting they're not meant for each other. And that SNAPS them to attention... At their core, they've always had their rebellious streaks. They do not like being bossed around.

Honestly, if you're only going to pick one thing to focus on... I think the most critical detail to consider when writing Cosmo and Wanda is that they eloped without telling their parents. If you think about how they left their lives of being coddled behind for each other, you can take that anywhere.

Anti-Cosmo's backstory is pretty unknown, but you can use parts of Anti-Cosmo to build a take on Cosmo as well.

For example, Anti-Cosmo's mother might be very harsh to him since Mama Cosma coddles Cosmo. Or, you could argue his mother's completely absent from his life since Cosmo's is always around. I like to think she really wanted Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda to get married. I personally play her as both physically abusive and emotionally overbearing. Cosmo crushed on Wanda for a long time, but I really enjoy slow burn A.C./A.W. as they slowly move from being annoyed by or disgusted with each other to admiring, respecting, and loving each other. I gave Anti-Cosmo bipolar disorder (due to his extremely high-energy moments in "When Nerds Collide" (where he rapidly flies in a circle 13 times in a row while still talking... yes, I went frame by frame and counted) and "Balance of Flour" (where Anti-Cosmo was unable to sit still while in disguise and revealed himself in front of everyone by running off and laughing). In his other episodes, he's in a mild state. -> Fun Fact: Technically, Anti-Cosmo has a magical parallel of bipolar rather than what humans have, and he treats it by rubbing Fairy pheromones on his face. In-universe, Fairies consider him to have divus displacement disorder (D3) and consider him "a Fairy in an Anti-Fairy's body" while Anti-Fairies believe he was born with his soul intertwined with a nature spirit's (whom he called Clarice in his youth). A.C. has a habit of drifting near H.P., who has strong-smelling pheromones. Anyway... My Cosmo has depression - especially postpartum depression - as a parallel. He struggles with a lot of personal issues, especially regarding his magical strength (Ex: turning his dad into a fly as a baby, leading his dad to never be seen again in the series).

Here are detailed examples from the backstory I gave my Cosmo because... I like talking about him:

Cloudlands AU Cosmo - #ridspoilers

Major spoilers up to the end of where we currently are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it

I treat "77 Secrets of the Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" as canon, meaning Cosmo's deepest secret - that he's the author of Astrophysics For Morons and several other books - is something he has ISSUES telling people about... which I tie into "Wishology"'s canon of portraying stars as ancient Fairies.

Yeah... Cosmo writing stuff that his culture hates does not go well for him in my work :'D

Cosmo struggles a lot with his love of books, hence why this is a secret for him. In Cloudlands AU canon, Fairies tend to have a brawn over brains culture and Anti-Fairies a brains over brawn one; Mama Cosma sent him to military school against his will to try to push him towards the brawn culture.

During / after the war with the Anti-Fairies ("Balance of Flour"), Fairies weren't exactly charmed by brains or Anti-Fairy culture sympathizers, and Cosmo - who used to write political commentaries and kids' books that broke culture down in easy to understand ways - became an instant target, leading us to this scene:

"Let them come for me." Cosmo raised the point of his wand against his temple. "These memories are all that I have left. Look, it's simple. You don't want my insights on politics and religion leaking any further into the world, and I don't want you in my life ever again. So if you take one step forward, I'll blast them out here and now. You can tell Adelinda that you were left to scrape my time keys off the floor." "So I am the bad guy now? We've opened the castle for refugees like you! Art, history, all the science you could ask for… The charts, the maps!" Cosmo bobbed gently up and down, but otherwise didn't move. He didn't even blink, the wand still pressed thumb-deep into his head. "Yeah, right! You've von Strangled every scrap of success I ever had out of my hands. Why would this be any different?" A scowling Jorgen shifted forward then and Cosmo threw out a hand. "No further! Or I'll wipe my memories here and now!" Jorgen braced his staff against a jutting piece of the wall, leaning beside it with folded arms. "The revolutionaries are out there hunting for those who threaten society with radical ideas, Cosmo. Your stories of gas balls and tongue lashes towards the Council are the reason you've landed in their sights. You can burn your books, but erasing private memories hurts no one but yourself. Plus, I can still take you to the Pink Castle anyway. It seems a very foolish trade you are fighting to make." Cosmo narrowed his eyes. "But when you get me behind those walls, you're going to scramble my mind up anyway, right? Because you work for the Fairy Council? At least if I blast myself, then I don't let you get to have the satisfaction…"

"Repeat"

After this point, Cosmo started erasing his memories on the regular and became a lot more unstable and unhappy with himself.

That said, I do think the war helped give him a purpose, lifting him a bit from the depression of his younger years over missing his father. He finally felt like he had something worth fighting for and was making up for the harm he caused, now out there protecting his people.

It's around this point in time that Cosmo - looking for a new career and now a smidgen more confident in himself (and looking for a new passion in life) - switched to the godparenting major, where he ended up doing a trial program with Wanda for Erg.

Erg being the godkid they claimed to have 50k years ago in an episode where they're celebrating their 10k years of being godparents, implying Erg was a special one-off case... Checks out since 50k years ago would've been well before they were married ("The Past and the Furious")

Cosmo grew increasingly infatuated with Wanda from here on out, and learning to be a godparent also kicked off his love for children.

I like to play Wanda as "better with" wish-themed playtime and adventures while little kids tend to think of Cosmo as "more fun" when they're playing with toys. He's pretty imaginative. I like to think Wanda's humor is high-brow and flies over little kid heads (Depending on their age). One of my favorite headcanons is that Cosmo owns a lot of toys and likes to leave one with each godkid. Probably a bunch of toys his mom gave him since she coddled and fawned over him so much, so he's rehoming them.

So /claps hands. We've set Cloudlands AU Cosmo up to want a baby. Can u see where this is going?

I personally treat the baby H.P. and Anti-Cosmo raised as 100% canon. I made him the counterpart of the candle model!

Here's some 2018 art, though I need to redraw / redesign now that my art skills have improved. Btw, I saw someone say they were sad this screenshot was fake, but :'D... I assure you, it's 100% real. It's in Jorgen's presentation of "Fairly Odd Baby" when he specifically uses the word "raised" to speak of Anti-Fairies and Pixies with children, and he shows this photo plus a flashing sign labeling H.P. specifically as "Bad," implying the kid has a connection to Anti-Cosmo in species, but H.P. was the real threat. I don't know why they drew H.P. with those glasses or added shading either, but it's real.

Let's talk Westley first! If you remember he's living with Blonda and showed up in "I Just Live Here..." congratulations! Poof slept in his room when he stayed with his Fairywinkle family for spring break that year.

He leans in to kiss me on both cheeks. I blink up at him, wide-eyed, and he pats my shoulder instead of ruffling my hair. Even though I have really, really ruffle-able purple hair, so I'm kind of glad he refrained (I don't like anyone but my parents and Timmy touching my hair, except I sometimes let Gary do it, and I really hate combing out the tangles). "Go back to sleep, cuginetto. We can talk more in the morning."

He was raised by Jorgen and Binky, specifically (playing into "Fairly Odd Baby" canon where Jorgen tries to take Poof from Cosmo and Wanda, telling them he'll raise him and will only let them visit him for one day every other millennium, plus Jorgen shows himself holding a baby in his slideshow presentation).

Binky dropped out of godparenting to be a stay-at-home caretaker for him on Jorgen's behalf.

Reminder: Binky and Jorgen are a gyne-drone pair. They don't live together, but they're basically in a QPR The Origin of the Pixies chapter "Inner Workings" is a good peek at their dynamic (back in the day), though H.P. refers to Binky by his surname (Abdul).

Westley is extremely bitter towards his bio parents and, while he respects Binky, doesn't particularly like him or Jorgen (or Cupid) as all three played a part in removing his chance at "a real family." He cut ties and changed his family name to Periwinkle.

AKA, before Poof was born, Westley went into modeling in Fairywood and Blonda took him under her wing. Blonda considers him a nephew

Poof looks up to him a lot names things after Westley - notably his egg baby in "Two and a Half Babies" - and that was canon in my work for years before A New Wish, sdkflj...

If I had a nickel for everyone in this family who changed their name to Periwinkle...

Frayed Knots is a 'fic about how Anti-Cosmo got to the point that he ended up with Talon - Westley's anti-fairy counterpart - and why H.P. is the one helping him raise him... Short answer? Anti-Cosmo wrecked his life for that child and a lot of people have issues with him because of it :'D But H.P. took him in...

Talon sneak peeks from late Frayed Knots!

“Yep. Talon, your dad’s out of it. Which is perfect, because that means I can do this.” H.P. clamped his hands around Talon’s waist and tossed him into the air. Talon squealed with surprise and apparent delight, and H.P. caught him when he came back down. “You are adorable. Oh yes you are, my Cú Chulainn. Yes you are.” “Again!” Talon cheered. “Nope.” There was a pat like H.P. placing small anti-fairy feet back on the floor. “One free sample per pup. If you want more services, you have to pay for them.” “Again!” H.P. sighed good-naturedly. “All right. One more time, Cú Chulainn. But, only if I can trust you to keep this our little secret.” “No! I’m going to brag to all the others that you tossed me twice. I had my fingers crossed about the promise.” “Oh, you’ve got me there,” H.P. told him in monotone. He rustled Talon’s hair with his huge hand. “Go play.” Talon trotted away, laughing. I clenched my claws deeper in the ruffled fabric. He never laughed for me like that.

&

Talon stomped his foot. “I don’t wanna go back with you! I want to stay here with my other dad!” H.P. and I looked at each other. Then he dropped his attention to Talon again, bending on one knee. “Talon, you’re adopted.” “Really,” I cried, “you’re starting with that?”

Also, shout-out to older Talon in Pink and Gray-

"I hate the inheritance traditions!" Talon's wings exploded behind him, flapping wildly. "It's not fair! You weren't even supposed to become High Count after Anti-Bryndin. Everyone only agreed to let you lead the Anti-Fairies because you have green eyes, but when it's me, your son, who should inherit after you, they're not going to listen, are they? They're not! You don't want me to be your heir! You only keep me around because I'm the only anti-fairy who's been born since the fairy baby mandate cut off all your other options. Or else you'd just dump me on H.P. forever so you don't have to look at me anymore and think about all your old mistakes. You want another kid because I was born with red eyes like some kind of commoner!" "Talon, enough." Anti-Cosmo swept his arm to the side. "You'll wake the hotel. Worshipers have traveled a long way to visit the Water Temple." "Look at me! Look me in these eyes and tell me it's not true!" Anti-Cosmo clenched his teeth, but didn't glance away. "I said, that's enough now. I broke the law to give you a healthy life, child. One would think you'd respect me for that." "The people," Talon snarled, stabbing a claw vaguely in the direction of Anti-Fairy World, "should accept me as your heir, no matter what color my eyes are." "I don't disagree, lad, and I don't intend to argue with you. However, you must realize that it isn't within my power to alter the expectations of an entire society." He stepped forward, fur bristling. "Bet the gossip's true! Bet you were unfaithful. Bet you had me with some hired anti-will o' the wisp for a handful of coins. Is that where I came from? Are you even my real father? Do you ever plan to tell me anything?" Anti-Cosmo tightened his grip on his wand, but regarded the furious anti-fairy with cool collection. His hand twitched, but he kept his arm low. "I will not argue with you, Talon, and I will not succumb to your goading. I am your father, Anti-Wanda is your mother, and despite your legitimacy, you did not inherit our spirit-blessed eyes. That is all you need to know, apart from the fact that if you do not hold your tongue, you will lose your inheritance tonight. Do not try my patience further." Talon simmered a moment more, then swung around and stalked away down the hall. "Telford Anti-Westley Anti-Lunifly. You have yet to be dismissed. Don't you dare turn your back on your High Count while he's trying to converse with you!" "'Trying,'" Talon said, and kept walking.

& "Health Bars"-

"What did you bring me?" Talon asks, looking up. Anti-Cosmo's eyebrows shoot into his hair. "'Bring you?' Why, I wasn't even aware you would be here tonight." Talon sticks out his tongue. "H.P. always brings me stuff when I see him." "True," I acknowledge. In my head, Anti-Cosmo's hitpoints drop into yellow. Anti-Cosmo gives the younger anti-fairy a pitying look. "Then he's spoiled you into being a selfish little brat, I'm afraid." And to me, narrow-eyed, "Thanks for that, actually." "Whoa. Hey. It's not my fault you deprive him of modern technology when he goes to stay in Anti-Fairy World. We agreed from the start: If you want to raise him Zodii, then I get to expose him to pop culture. Go ahead– ask him about memes. I've trained him well."

I just love him and my messy 'fic drama so much... Talon, my beloved.

Because this is a notable part of Anti-Cosmo's backstory - especially the conflict Anti-Cosmo and Talon have - it played into me giving Cosmo that aforementioned dream of wanting kids, which led me to scenes like:

"So, when can I meet Nixie?" Saffron frowned in the rear-view mirror. "Oh, did I not send the letter? You sounded like you'd read it over the call. You seemed fine with it." "L… letter?" "I changed my mind about adopting her out. Jorgen said he'd waive my file at the station if I trade her to him instead of you." He slammed so hard on the brakes, Saffron's glossy lip tube flew past the windshield.

"Repeat" - Cosmo's failed attempt to bring Nixie into his life... Nonetheless, he didn't give up

So... I found an episode with an interesting detail, and I really latched onto it and built my images of Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo around it. Simple enough start!

I lucked out in finding something I thought was super interesting to delve into (especially at a time no one else in the fandom had mentioned it... or at least not in 'fics tagged H.P., because I think I read all those and most if not all of the Anti-Cosmo ones available back then, at least on the sites I used, haha).

Even though I don't consider "The Fairy Beginning" canon as a whole (due to it violating too much established canon), it's still canon in my works that Cosmo stayed with his aunt and uncle for a while and lived under their stairs, which is... hoo boy.

"No, I didn't! I didn't do anything wrong!" Cosmo tightened his arms around Westley's back, beneath the baby's tiny fluttering wings. "It's not me or my fault, okay? It's just… just… Look, it wasn't supposed to happen this way!" Holding babies left him breathless, and Cosmo tried to shift his weight to hold him a little better. Westley kicked him in the chest. "I know I can't keep him, but you can't let Jorgen take him away." "Oh heavens, that's a real baby. There is a fairy baby in my house right now. I'm gonna be sick." Blonda floated backwards, one hand on her stomach and one on her mouth. The sleeve of her robe slid down to her elbow, dangling like a fish fin. She turned a full circle, pacing in the air, then swept back and grabbed him by the shoulders. "The A.B.B.'s been out for weeks. How hasn't Jorgen found you yet? Tell me you haven't been on the run alone. At least say you have another friend in the world besides my sister and me." "O-okay… Uh, we haven't been by ourselves all this time. Is that the right answer?" Blonda leaned her head back against the whitewashed wall. "Oh, Darkness devour me…" Cosmo bit his lip. "We were staying under my aunt and uncle's stairs for a while, b-but I know they're getting close…" As the breathing lines clenched up around his throat, his fingers curled into the yellow towel a little tighter. "Please, Blonda… Can we stay? And can you help me find milk without showing my face at a store? I ran out, and Jorgen wants to take him away so he can teach him to fight and bully everyone. I can't watch that happen! And… and Cupid will just throw him in a cage for the rest of his life. And I'm scared! If Jorgen takes Westley to his fort, then Anti-Cosmo will waltz straight in and waltz out with him again. A-and babies can't waltz!" "What… Where did you even find…? Babies are illegal in our subspecies without Eros consent. And the Eroses never consent outside the exhibit stock. Did you break into the Nest and take one of their kids?" "Blonda, I… couldn't just let them…"

"Repeat"

And from there, we get this art of Cosmo, Westley, and Nixie:

And this bit from "Told You So"-

"He went for milk," Florensa repeated as though in a daze. Sanderson… sighed. He replaced the silk cover on his crystal and dropped his eyes to his desk. Had his elbows always been this pointy? His arms looked thin and scrawny, barely able to hold his weight. He leaned against them anyway and brought his eyes to hers again. "Forgive me for the small talk. My question may be useful to you… Has your son experienced a major drop in energy? An increase in time spent sleeping? A lack of interest in his usual favored activities? I can't imagine he's in the most whimsical of moods right now." "How do you mean?" "Well… Last time I saw him was at Fairy Con. He floated on sagging wings, looking distressed out of his mind. H.P. had me report it. Even for a fairy, I noticed he expressed considerable emotion during Jorgen's speech. Dm. Cosma, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I think I heard your son ask if he could go back on forget-a-cin. Is this true? Pardon me if I am insensitive with this subject, but… How is he handling the separation from his kids?" There it was… cold and dark between them, like a smooth stone dropped into an unmoving pond. Florensa's blue eyes sharpened like snakeupine quills. "Those… those LEECHES under Jorgen's wing are not my son's children! That miserable SHREW forced responsibility on my precious boy! Oh, I'll wring his little blue NECK until he turns purple from it all!" Sanderson stared blankly back at her, too tired to argue. Now would have been a really good time to have his shades. Could she read his thoughts from his eyes? He tried again. "Has Cosmo spoken lately about the kids? I seem to remember he tried to disappear after Westley was born. Fairy World put out an A.B.B. It wouldn't surprise me if he still thinks about them sometimes. Perhaps he went looking for them. Or went to challenge Jorgen." If Jorgen had crushed him into oblivion with one of his mighty fists, that too might explain the shattered wand. Florensa's wings bristled up. "We don't talk about the kids at home," she snapped. "It wouldn't be good for his health! My son is… He's… he's… Well, he's been under so much stress in the workplace! You know how it is, particularly at his age. I just hope he's not been hurt." Hurt? Sanderson grimaced. It was all too easy to imagine Cosmo flattened into pancake form if he set foot anywhere near Westley or Phoenix. The pair were still the talk of Fairy World to this day. Two common fairy babies… the youngest of their subspecies. The first ones born in 370,000 years. They had to be 40 millennia by now. Jorgen bragged about them at every social opportunity, like he'd finally filled a void deep inside him that godchildren never could. And Anti-Cosmo, of course… Well, Anti-Cosmo had been elated with how things turned out. That was sarcasm. Ha ha. Ha ha. But still true, to some degree. Emotions can be hilarious. From the way he fawned over Anti-Westley (Well… "Talon") with his hands clasped against his cheek, you wouldn't think Anti-Fairy World's bachelor king actually lost his first wife over the whole affair. Or his daughters, for that matter… Anti-Saffron had taken both Anti-Miranda and Anti-Phoenix when she left him. As far as the media could guess, the High Count lived by gritting his fangs to bear it.

Aaaaaaaand this plotline in 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash! :')

"A firstborn will always have more magic than their siblings. Up to two layers of magic can wrap themselves around the core. If the child is the father's firstborn, they'll receive one extra layer, and if the child is their mother's, they'll receive two." Poof's head snaps up like a spring. His hand jolts after it. "But it's okay if they don't… right?" His question seems to catch Serena off guard. "Uh. Well, there's nothing wrong with not having the layers. Younger siblings can be equally as healthy as the firstborn. The extra magic is simply a small benefit the first receives." "Um, what happens if you're a firstborn who doesn't have extra core layers?" "Then that person isn't actually a firstborn." "… What? Are there any exceptions?" "To the firstborn bonus? I don't believe there are any. At least, I've never heard of one." Denzel keeps his head low, scratching out notes, until the silence between the two fairies drags on way too long. Uhh… He looks up again. Poof stares back at his grandmother, shock bleeding his face out to white. She hovers at the front of the room wearing the same look of confusion that Denzel himself might have shown to dancing chipmunks on a ceiling fan. "That's… not true," Poof croaks back. His voice wavers on a string. He drops his head to the desk, wrapping his stubby arms around his head. Um.

"Looking Back"

"Am I adopted?" Poof blurted, not answering the actual question. Auntie Wanda's brows shot off her head. She looked at Cosmo. Cosmo stared back at her, wide-eyed and frozen

&

And he laughed, throwing his arms out too the side. "Poof, do you even hear yourself? Or did you just flunk anatomy class? Only firstborns get extra core layers." "… Aren't we firstborns?" "Do… do you not know?" The mental damage Poof took after those words slammed straight into his brain a second later. Foop flinched back, gripping his hair in one fist. Poof's heartbeat spiked- hot, fast, and undeniable, because a cold cloud crashed into Foop's chest like a clenching fist. A spark of purple fire flared like a spooked rabbit in the depths of Poof's eyes. He's not joking. "Has your dad not talked to you about this?" Gary made an attempt to suggest they call it quits for the day. Foop only half heard him. "Poof," he spluttered, "what? You know my Vatajasa name is Fry-sün d'ichord. Did you think I use the title 'second child; second son' ironically!?"

"Sentry"

Finley was just, like… taunting me and saying that I'm adopted." The memory flares tears in my eyes. I sniff, sort of pathetically, and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand. "But I'm not… I'm a Cosma and a Fairywinkle." "Adopted," Big Daddy repeats. He flicks his eyes from my crown to shoes. They coast along the freckles down my sides. He shakes his head then. Firm. "You wouldn't have the gene for lateral spots if you weren't a Fairywinkle. Your pheromones match the family's too. Cherry almond. Even if yours are underdeveloped, I can sniff that on you from here. Forget about it, Poof… There's no doubt about it. My little cannoli Wanda is your mother, as sure as I'm your granddaddy."

"I Just Live Here"

😬 ... Yeaaaaaaah...... I've been planning this since 2016.

So, hmm.. I wonder why I drew this during my music meme years ago...

Yeah... Yeeeeeeaaaaah... That's rough, buddy.

Also, no matter the universe, Anti-Cosmo is notoriously bad at paying child support and consistently has a rougher relationship with Talon than H.P. does :'D

I also want to point out that when you're introducing characters and major plot points, take the time to consider how they fit into the world and play off other characters! Talon and Westley influence a ton of people, including Anti-Cosmo, H.P., Anti-Wanda, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, Foop, Blonda, Big Daddy, Jorgen, Binky, Cupid, Sanderson, each other... etc. And all this from two photos of two characters who were onscreen for mere seconds, several seasons apart, and don't have speaking lines or even animation...

The big follow-up & "tying loose ends" 'fic for Poof's "Am I adopted?" anxiety is the upcoming Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies - named after a song Wanda wrote, according to "77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)."

It's Poof POV and parallels Foop's war POV in "You'll Never Know." I'm looking forward to posting it, but it's massive and - despite everything this post covers - still contains a lot of major Frayed Knots spoilers related to Cosmo's trauma that we didn't even touch on here, so... it's my baby. Huge personal favorite, though <3

The night before you sent this Ask, I actually sketched potential animatic panels for the Big Fish song "Showdown," even though I don't plan to make an actual animatic. It's been on my Poof inspo playlist for YEARS and was haunting me...

btw, if you like this song... I'm not telling you to do anything, but I AM telling you the songs for this musical regularly disappear from YouTube and have been on and off for many years

Cosmo Wrap-Up

So... [inhales].

When it comes to writing a fan portrayal of a character, there's no replacing doing your own personal study, whatever that means to you - watching episodes, reading 'fics, studying other people's analyses - as you strain out your own version of him.

I think backstory is a really good jumping point for deciding what kinds of things you want to do with Cosmo, and how it ties into how he acts in canon.

Obviously, there's a lot going on in Cloud!Cosmo's backstory... and this despite the fact he's one of the characters I rarely put onscreen. He's one of those "characters who haunt the narrative" for me.

... I barely touched on Nixie drama in this post, but if you can guess where THAT'S going... congratulations! It's been heavily foreshadowed in my lore since the start and is super messed-up :'D.

Frayed Knots, my cruel beloved...

My Cosmo is super specific, and the many intricate layers at play here definitely influence how I write him. Which is a fantastic jumping off point for me if I ever get stuck.

Key points that come from the backstory I've given him include:

- Cosmo growing up without a lot of life experience, so he looks to others for advice. This can easily lead him to trouble if he follows the wrong crowd. - Tension between Cosmo and Mama Cosma, especially in regards to her being annoyed at Wanda and wanting Cosmo to marry someone who's "better for him" - Cosmo doesn't give up easily & is willing to take matters into his own hands. However, he does have his breaking point and massive amounts of trauma and anxiety, which he covers by wiping memories from his head - Cosmo is overprotective of his car because it's one of the only things in his life that's exclusively his and which he has control over (Setting us up for drama in "Repeat" when Poof panics about how he crashed the car... which spirals Poof into his vegan lifestyle, where he punishes himself by cutting meat from his diet despite being a carnivore, so that's a whole thing) - Cosmo is smart in a very specific way related to the stars, cars, energy, electricity, and the Fairy baby ban history... things that aren't necessarily common for godkids to ask about. Also, some random smarts leak through his fractured memories - Cosmo struggling with self-hatred because "he used to be smarter" and gets upset he can't remember things well - Cosmo in hiding (Ex: Only pays with cash to avoid being traced; I have an upcoming scene where he starts panicking about how he's slow and holding up the line and Poof steps in to help) - Cosmo's memory problems (Regularly on forget-a-cin) - Cosmo being clingy towards Wanda and/or struggling to make friends and trust others (especially in academia) - Cosmo's postpartum depression (Struggles with snappiness, loneliness, and fear that Poof doesn't like him) - Cosmo and Wanda having their second kid (Dusty) very early compared to the usual distance between siblings in Fairy society - Cosmo desperate to soak up time with his kids / godkids (Leading him to grant Timmy's secret wish to freeze time - Canon event) - Cosmo and Wanda being really anxious about Poof's relationship with Goldie, who comes from a species known for "tempting drakes away from their parents to join harems" (à la "Opinion" when they try to discourage Poof from dating her) -> And the change of heart Cosmo and Wanda have later in "All I Ever Wanted" when they tell Poof they support him and don't want him to elope and cut them from his life like they cut their parents. -> And Cosmo being extremely "dad" and gentle with Poof in that piece when Poof has his anxiety attack - Cosmo will absolutely have a breakdown if you ask him directly about Westley or Nixie, which is why he and Wanda are waiting until Poof is older to bring it up.

Actually, here's a scene about that last one!

“My friends said I’m not a firstborn because I don’t have the extra magic layers around my core. Am I really your first kid?” My dad screamed. No words, just a scream. I jerked back, and he whirled around and slammed his hand into the wall. It slid down, and he went with it in a shaking mess on the floor. Mom took my elbow and guided me from the room, promising we’d talk later after she made sure he was all right. I hovered in the next room, hands clapped to my mouth, not sure what to do. That evening, Mama came to find me. “Poof-” “I don’t want to know,” I blurted, plugging my ears. I clenched my eyes shut. “Just tell me I’m a weirdo who was born without the extra layers. If I’m not your first, I don’t want to know.”

Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies

:'D ...

[Laughs in Frayed Knots] - Cosmo honey, you've got a big storm comin'...

For anyone wanting to write Cosmo, I suggest finding some moments from the show (OG series, New Wish, whatever) that you find interesting and want to delve into (or that you use to define your personal view of Cosmo- Who he is; what you like about him).

You might end up wanting to write a backstory 'fic, and if you don't, at least you'll have a good idea of what you envision his story being like, which can shape creative interpretation of his character.

A loose outline, thought web, or note sheet might be helpful- I usually make Tumblr posts or write one-shots to work through my thoughts.

Obviously, a lot of the stuff I listed above are things the series never delves into. I like the freedom of making stuff up for Cosmo, exploring what makes him tick in my own way, but there's nothing wrong with keeping it simple like "Well, my Cosmo was a small town kid who didn't really leave home until he fell in with Wanda."

Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be interesting! Feel free to tag me when you post your 'fic so I can check it out <3

Other Cosmo writing resources:

- My brief bio of Cosmo

- Let's Talk Cosmo - Early character study

- My "Cosmo can be a tricky character to write" video clips + my analysis of them (I always meant to do one of these for other characters, but never got around to it~)

- Personal analysis on Cosmo's depression - I write Anti-Cosmo with bipolar disorder and this has been an interesting parallel.

-> Cosmo's postpartum depression is particularly fun for me and was glimpsed in "Repeat" flashbacks where he was hiding emotions from Wanda & working through his "Why would the baby like me if I don't even like me?" struggles. I always wanted to make its own 'fic about it, but it was very depressing, so I stopped :'D whodathunk...

- I like this scene in "I Dream of Cosmo" where Cosmo is trying to pull the reins in on Timmy's Dad :)

- I also like this scene from "Desperate Without Housewives," which takes place in Season 9 (after Jorgen stops wiping Crocker's memories in Season 7*. In this scene, now that Crocker's memory isn't wiped anymore, Cosmo blatantly outs himself as a fairy and Crocker just :|

* very heavily implied; my interpretation of the ending is that Jorgen actively exposed Crocker's relatives to Fairies to power the Big Wand and why would he erase Crocker's memory if he's doing that, but it's not technically confirmed... However, the episodes after this do seem to depict Crocker extremely sure of Timmy's fairies, no longer theorizing, and Kevin... also seems to have some memory immunity? Unclear, but if Cosmo was acting Like That in "Chip Off the Old Crock" because he was trying to pull the same joke with Kevin he pulled with Denzel, that's flippin' hilarious. But Timmy's Dad doesn't know and I like to think Crocker is covering for Cosmo in front of him in this scene when he nervously laughs Cosmo's comment off

Characters I Find Tricky to Write

I'll try to keep this section short since this post got out of hand, but thanks for asking!

I do think Cosmo is very hard to write. I'd probably say he's the most difficult for me. I can talk all I want about what I think his character IS, but that doesn't mean I know what to make him SAY in any given scene- especially considering I tend to write drama stories, and that's not a good playing field for him (He's better with adventure or romance or humor).

Secret knowledge I have from a close study of Cosmo I did once upon a time - he favors long sentences, not choppy ones. I feel like it's easy to default to "This character doesn't have deep thoughts, so I'll just have them say something quick and random." I'm sure Cosmo has his fair share of short comments, but recognizing his long sentences changed something for me. Made me think more carefully about how specific he's going to be.

I think he worked great in "Repeat" when he was the POV character and had to move things along - he had no choice & his internal dialogue was able to cover for the characterization his dialogue couldn't - but I don't do well when he's a side character and I need him to "say something funny" to sound like Cosmo.

Not one of my favorites to write, but that's because I like making characters clash and have long conversations about complicated topics. Cosmo isn't necessarily a fun one for that, or to see get in an emotionally heated situation with. I think he'd just leave... ... but I liked "Repeat" when he COULDN'T leave us, so we were privy to all the secrets he wouldn't say.

You might be surprised, but I genuinely like writing Anti-Cosmo long and rambly- I get to do this in Frayed Knots (which is a completely unique narration tone from Origin of the Pixies, which is informative but blunt).

I especially liked Reedfilter Rules Chapter 2, when he uses some VERY heavy (as in flowery) and long-winded language for his internal commentary. Sadly... a lot of people aren't fans of reading that kind of thing :'D And I do not blame them... but I enjoyed it.

That chapter took YEARS of on and off attention to finalize because I wanted him to be perfect before I locked myself into a certain style for the rest of the AU, but honestly... I'm not sure I can - or should bother to - mimic that for future chapters.

idk. I think it's fun, but my goal was to write RR!Anti-Cosmo's internal narration distinct from Clouds!Anti-Cosmo's, and I think I succeeded. Just not sure if it's worth doing twice to that extreme.

One of the comments Frayed Knots tends to get is that it's exhausting... not only for length of its own merit, but also because Anti-Cosmo rambles about worldbuilding and it can make readers free pressured to retain the info and/or it just confuses or bores them. And I totally get that...

... but also, I cannot emphasize enough that Knots' style is like that on purpose. Have you met this man? He SHOULD be bothering you- he's REALLY annoying and he talks a lot. And also, if you get lost along the way, I think he'd find that amusing and would do it more. lmao. get wrecked.

/whispers loudly - His whole thing is that his mom and stepdad think he's annoying and they're not especially nice to him - in fact, they both outright abuse him - and they don't really feel bad about it because he is just THAT bothersome, which is why he falls in with people like H.P., Blonda, and Anti-Wanda - who "just get him" - down the line. Hilariously, Wanda does not have patience for him... as much as he has a crush on her and wishes she did.

Sorry to everyone who takes his longwindedness as clumsy, frustrating writing. You're correct, but so am I. If I have to sit here in his annoying head for 8 years of writing this 'fic, you have to sit here with me <3

Genuinely though, rambling is A.C.'s thing and I like doing that in his other POV stories, like "Yellow Flower Number 9" (linked below). He literally stops shopping to dump his woes on a cashier and I think that's very fitting for him. Man loves his monologues...

I write a lot of H.P.-Anti-Cosmo interactions, but because I strive for canon-compliancy, I can't allow H.P. to call him by his "A.C." nickname until he canonically gives it to him in "Fairly Odd Baby" (A.C. seems surprised by the nickname, but says he likes it).

- You wouldn't think it would matter, but the amount of times I've had to sigh and fix a draft with the nickname is not 5. - Compare with "Yellow Flower Number 9," where he calls him A.C. like 4 times in 20 minutes, lol.

Hmm, hardest character... Ooh, I think it's Jorgen. I really like how I wrote him in "Whatever," specifically here-

Jorgen's hand shot forward. He grabbed Juan in his fist and squeezed until the fairy shrieked and started spitting pleas. Then Jorgen jerked his hand over to Seneca. She flinched back. "I am not here to wait around and answer all your pathetically obvious questions. That is what he is for. You can ask him. As for me, I have two appendixes to separate and a great deal of paperwork to do." He dropped Juan to the floor, then crashed his walking stick (Star staff, sun staff) down too. The force of it sent a shockwave across the clinic.

- but I'm extremely self-conscious of him in general. I don't use him much.

Oh, Chloe takes a ton of attention. She has a super specific speech pattern of using contractions to start her many, many follow-up sentences to her thoughts (She builds on her thoughts and elaborates in a series of addendums).

She speaks her mind and is kind of "deadpan snark" about it, but in a happy way. She also has very weird phrasings. Fascinating.

I wrote about her speech pattern HERE, but she's unique for sure. I'm quite pleased with how I wrote her in "This Is a Box."

I also think Vicky can be tricky to balance realism with what a threat she is... particularly if you're trying not to lampshade the consequences of her actions (although the show does). I look forward to writing her in combination with Dale especially. I have free reign to push Dale way past where I can realistically push Timmy without Timmy reacting, so I think that might be fun.

I had a lot of fun writing Trixie in Chapter 4 of Come What May, when Kevin meets her at Shirley's Pizzeria (and I enjoyed Tad, Chad, and Veronica both in that chapter and the previous). Kevin meeting the popular kids was one of my favorite topics in general :)

I struggle with Kevin flipping from high energy to extremely self-deprecating. I tend to play him as dead inside, which I do think is accurate, but I do think Come What May is missing the humor that comes from being the guy who kicks down a door yelling "Yo, yo, you! Crockmeister in the hizzy!" or answers his phone with "This is the Crockmeister; crock to me!"

I'd love to finish this 'fic, but it always feels depressing to me :'D I was going for "quirky middle grade adventure," but I ended up with gloom and creepiness. Idk what to do to make it fun and I hesitate to touch it if it might bring me down, so I procrastinate.

I think I need to practice my Mark Chang voice to make him more fun and quirky instead of stating plain facts.

Also, for the longest time, I felt kind of guilty that I write Anti-Cosmo as an overly anxious loser when (afaik), most of the fandom don't consider that even close to their vision, so I felt like I was bashing on their favorite even though I was genuinely trying to write him the way I see him, but... sldkfj. vindicated!!

Thank you New Wish for reminding me he really is that much of a cringefail loserboy <3

No matter what happens with the series from this point on... "Battle of Big Wand" Anti-Cosmo, you will always be famous to me.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

DC

fill in the blanks by mindshelter

"You?” Tim blurts. Holy shit. “You’re Kon?”

A nod. “Are you in any pain?” he asks again.

Kon’s skin is sun-kissed, cheekbones dusted with a fine smattering of freckles; he is, without exaggeration, the prettiest person Tim has ever seen. “No, I’m—great,” he says, fidgeting. “Do you, uh, come here often?”

Kon raises a brow. “To the medbay?” he intones. “Definitely more often than I’d prefer."

Fault Line by sElkieNight60 (+ podfic)

Part 1 of Tectonics

"You’re invulnerable…” he whispers, but it’s clear that fact falters in his mind.

Confusion writes its way into the lines on Conner’s face and Clark takes a step back as though physically pushed.

“You’re not invulnerable.”

It is a statement, dull like stone.

“N-no, sir.”

— 🦸 —

OR: Conner's not as invincible as Clark thought. Suddenly, he's a lot more human.

Danny Phantom x DC

The Business of Family by Spaced_Ace

Jazz remembered the way their parents loomed in the living room as they’d laid out that verdict. Ever-present weapons gleaming, standing in such a way that they blocked access to both the front and back entrances. Their eyes had been what struck her the most of that horrible tableau. What made her stomach fill with jagged stones and drenched her back in a frigid sweat. The way they looked at her little brother, their gazes cold and hollow and -

Hungry.

(Things are not well in Amity Park.

With the GIW getting more and more aggressive and their parents becoming ever more suspicious of Danny each day that passes, Jazz knows that they're running out of time. It's not safe, and their options are painfully limited. Out of sheer dumb luck or a little intervention from Clockwork, she manages to discover a distant relative that just might be their salvation.

If asked Oswald Cobblepot would say that it's just good business. Adopting a few kids had done wonders for Bruce Wayne's reputation, why not his? It's not like he can't afford to put them somewhere out of the way if they get to be a problem. It's just business. Nothing more.

(His soft heart says otherwise))

The Witcher

Words of Love by ForestWren

"I should warn you,” Jaskier said between kisses in the soft darkness of the shed, “That I know some… very interesting people. You may want to avoid meeting them.”

“I’ve dealt with the Redenian court for decades. Your friends can’t be worse than that.”

Five times Radovid meets Jaskier's friends and family, plus one time they are alone.

Star Wars x The Mandalorian

Master Skywalker: The Absolute Worst by PrinceJakeFireCake

"Din got to his feet. He patted Boba on the shoulder affectionately.

“You should watch the recording of Skywalker fighting the death troopers,” he said, then pressed a kiss to Boba’s cheek and told Grogu to stop eating his blocks.

Boba watched the recording. He was pretty sure he would never be the same again. He was positive that he never wanted to meet Skywalker ever again.”

Boba Fett falls for Luke Skywalker. It isn’t the funnest thing he’s ever done.

Original Works

Call Me Menace by wingedcat13

You, Synovus, are a respectably terrifying supervillain. Your main rivals, a pair of superheroes named Legionnaire and Athena, are actually respectable as heroes. You hate having to stoop to kidnapping their child - but you hate more what the kid's behavior implies.

if it don't hurt now (just wait a while) by quandaries_and_contradictions

Part 27 of mage in a wolf pack

When the hunters first take him, Jaime knows everything will be okay.

He’s scared, of course. He wants his mom and dad and little sister. But he knows it’s going to be okay — because the wolves who protect his town will come for him. Lada’s mother and father and papa won’t let the hunters get away with this. All he has to do is hold on until they get here.

Months later, he's not so sure.

Stranger Things

No One Rides For Free by weird_witchcraft

"Are you okay Harrington?” Eddie asks gently, “Need me to get anyone?”

“No one to get,” replies Steve, so soft Eddie barely catches it. “You think I want anyone seeing me like this?”

Eddie Munson stumbles across Steve Harrington crying next to a bush at Tina's party and makes it his mission to cheer him up.

Clone Wars

mirci't be uja by ihathbenobiwankenobied for whitchry9

Obi-Wan is usually good at keeping track of his blood sugar levels–because he has to be–but this time, it’s out of his control.

(Or, a diabetic Obi-Wan is thrown for a loop after crashing on an unknown planet. Stim does his best to keep his General alive)

[cook1emadness]

YOUR HONOR!

EHEM EHEM *REMOVING THE CAPTIONS*

I've been starving to see more side/background characters in madness combat 😔

Please! Could you do anything for Jorge and church?

Or the Fanatics Or the Bandits?

Anything you're comfortable with!!

Not sure if it should be romantic or platonic though

OK, JORGE AND CHURCH!! MY DUMB BELOVED IDITOTS!!! GET OVER HERE!!!

This one is going to be romantic ;]

Your honor, are you prepared. . .

Jorge And Church, The G03LM Duo!!!!

Romance~:

Oh boy, these guys, were confident as fuck when they confessed to you, because they believe you 100% say yes.... and you did(if you said no, church would be hurt as fuck and in denial)

Anyway, basically, church and jorge are your bodyguards, but chaotic, making you the most sane person in the world... sort of.

Now, I think jorge and church would always show of their skills. Yes, even their muscles. If you compliment them or praise them a little, they're confidence boost up ALOT.

Being in a relationship with them, you gotta be affectionate. These guys not only love the compliments, but they LOVE hugs you give them even if church denies it. Jorge won't. He knows he's deserves it.

Everyone can tell they're in a relationship with you. Why? Because they always keep showing off their lover, aka you.(sanford and deimos were unamused).

For church, his nicknames for you are mostly pip squeak or mouse, sometimes shortie. Meanwhile, for jorge, it's similar but may call you by your nickname that your parents or family member came up( sorry if your nickname is to embarrassing for you).

Despite being stubborn, they would sometimes listen to you, but the moment your not around, CHAOS!! which is why everyone in the MERC always call you. Your basically like an owner.

Forgot to mention that they get jealous, especially if you happen to know sanford or deimos.

You have to reassure them that you love them and no one else. Why? Because Church and Jorge may or may not try to kill that poor grunt.

The dates are mostly the cafeteria, them taking you to fast food places, even if alotvfucked up shit is going on and most importantly playfights, don't worry they go easy on you and maybe bully you a little.

Oh boy, if a random idiot hurts you, they better start running and trying to hide because good lord, they don't let shit slide. I kid you not, if they can track sanford and deimos. They can find that poor fool instant.

Now jorge and church have the same love language. For both physical touch, both would love to feel your arms trying to wrap around them, they find it funny and they like to have you close to them, it makes them feel better than your safe with them.

If they had a second love language, I think it would be quality time, I can imagine them trying to get your attention while you watch to listen to them either rant or show off, maybe even playfights.

Despite being rude and cocky, they both love you even if you are small or big. They love you... plus, they give a shirt that says, "Size matters." :D

I hope you like this one, I might do bandits or fanatics, but I have other requests to finish, so I hope you have a good day and night