#they're all so traumatized and sad and I love them.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
triglycercule · 3 months ago
Text
horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs
i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food
you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)
#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children#NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT#i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3#i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored#IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem#anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh#i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up#i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable#a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none#got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook#and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea#i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content#it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized
71 notes · View notes
heir-of-the-chair · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
you. you get it. I'm currently working on a fic I'm calling And Then There Was One about roy hearing the news of egan's death and. yeahhhh.
22 notes · View notes
eleplay · 9 days ago
Text
someone going "i don't want to talk about it" and then five seconds later after you've both walked outside immediately talks to you about it and in fact talks to you ALL about it IS goofy right? right??
12 notes · View notes
authenticaussie · 1 year ago
Text
I think the reason I'm enjoying writing core4 so much is it's just, a bunch of only-child children with non-traditional family dynamics who are so sibling coded/we're roommates and have been for the past 63,136 years. DELIGHTFUL to me. They're all so goddamn stupid. I have decided Kon says traumatic things about Cadmus and Cassie/Tim/Bart turn to each other and play rock-paper-scissors for who gets to be angry about it this time.
#superheroes#bip bop nari drops#core4#kon: ....what are you doing#tim: well if all of us get mad we're gonna storm the place and burn down a bunch of shit and get in trouble#cassie: SO the deal is only one of us is allowed to be mad. and we bury it deep in our heart to be traumatized about it forever ❤️#kon: it's not that traumatic!!! i was just talking about watching tv!!!#bart: -pats him on the shoulder- aw bud. let it out#kon: WHAT'S TRAUMATIC ABOUT LEARNING ABOUT FAMILY THROUGH WATCHING TV#tim: oh boy I'm so tapping out of this one we are getting Way too uncomfortably close to my shit#**caveat that i dont think Tim's inherently traumatized by his parents/dont think theyre Terrible they're just#**bad at being parents. well-meaning but Too Many Expectations and also were not really. MEANT to be parents. did it because it was expecte#not because they actually wanted a kid. and so they were like. yeah! we'll be cool parents. give him freedom and stuff.#but then when he's wildly independent and kinda a brat because they're not PARENTS and he barely knows them#they're like how can you treat us like that we're your PARENTS#anyway i think complex relationships are fun!!!!! love a good Sad Tim fic but. oooo the complex dynamics of not hating your parents#because you didn't even have them. my beloved#they're dead and you love them because all you can remember is when they were there - but how often were they there?#mwah it fascinates me. he's a latchkey kid and social dynamics have changed since his first comic!!!! augh!!!#anyway inherent fascinating tim & kon & cassie & bart family relationships#i like thinking all of them have just Little things they can't handle about kon's Pod Facts without being sad
3 notes · View notes
arielmagicesi · 1 year ago
Text
ugggghhh ok so I’m reading some books to prep for my student teaching in the fall, the ones that my host teacher knows are likely to be in the curriculum, and first of all why is it a thing that high schoolers are made to read Contemporary Lit Fic that can be summed up as “how many gory explicit descriptions of traumatic abuse can we fit into one book”, like every year it’s just One Standard Shakespeare Play, One Twentieth-Century American Classic, throw in some other shit, and Somebody’s Fucked-Up Memoir From A Decade Or So Ago. Are there any contemporary books that are good but NOT traumatizing? If not, I’m happy to stick to classic lit personally
ANYWAY so I’m reading this book to prep for the fall and I ended up skimming the whole latter 3/4 or so of the book to spoil it for myself so the suspense wouldn’t kill me, and now I’m up late despite being super tired because my brain is just cycling through every horrific thing in the book, plus the reviews I read online, some of which are insanely saying shit like “wah wah, get over it, stop whining, we all had rough times in our childhood” and I’m like... Am I the softest, most naive baby on the planet for reacting to this horrific memoir by feeling bad for the author and thinking that maybe we don’t need to be making high schoolers read this? I’m not saying it’s not well-written- it is well-written, and well-structured, but Jesus Christ.
(also why are we allowed to make students read horrifying memoirs of abuse but god forbid they know that slavery happened in this country, but that’s a different issue altogether)
so yeah I now have managed to make my entire evening about Trying And Failing To Get Some Images Out of My Head, which sucks because I had a LOVELY day and was looking forward to some well-earned sleep, and also I’m gonna have to go back and read the entire book so that I’m able to teach it properly and know all the literary devices in it and shit. Cool cool cool
#this is the same classroom where i did my student observing and their 'holocaust book' was this book called sarah's key#which is also unnecessarily traumatizing but doesn't even have the decency to be written well#and i asked my host teacher like 'hey. do we provide any like... emotional support to the students when they read That Scene'#and she was like 'yeah i have them write a response paper about their emotions reading the scene'#and idk i'm not 100% sure that's enough?#i know high schoolers put on a big song and dance about how edgy they are and how they can handle seeing any fucked-up shit#and some of them really do unfortunately have to live with fucked-up shit for real#but like. they're still humans? who are growing and developing? let's maybe give them breathing room with these things?#i love my host teacher she's great but i'm not confident she's gonna provide a lot of emotional support re: this memoir to the students#she's also way tougher and more resilient than i am. and so are most of the students tbh. i'm a tiny baby kitten and i know this#still i feel like we should probably allow some room for acknowledging Yeah That Was Fucked Up Huh#It's Normal To Feel Sad Now Actually#ANY THE FUCKING WAY. wish i'd gone to sleep early like i planned#at least it's the weekend tomorrow and all i have to do is go prove i don't have tuberculosis. again!!!!#(not that i had tuberculosis before. i just got tested before but it was over 6 months ago so not good enough)#that's also for student teaching!#i feel like my personal posts on this blog are just a psa on why not to become a teacher#i swear i love teaching lol but i love kvetching more#written by me
4 notes · View notes
radmista · 2 years ago
Text
The thought process the people like the second to last rb have is so pathetic imo. This is how you know someone explicitly only reads fanfiction online, especially with the comment about how there should be trigger/content warnings and saying what topics will be in there. First off, books have this, it's called the summary on the back. I know that poster probably meant something akin to AO3 tags like "|Charater Death|, |uncomfortable situations|, |parents not being perfect ideal parents and being flawed people|, |mean classmates|" type shit. Which is just ridiculous. The point of books like these are to grow your mind, to expand your world view and thinking, to expose you to as many different perspectives and points of view. To portray suffering, sadness, hardship, death, betrayal, etc in safe controlled environments. It's not child endangerment or abuse to make children sad reading a sad book. You cannot raise children in a bubble away from life's unpleasantness because you don't have a reading level beyond 5th grade and only want easily digestible material.
Children sometimes need to be exposed to content that they would not pursue on their own, nor would ever learn about without required reading. The level of anti-intellectualism being spouted here is unbelievable. This whole "protect kids from the harshness of the world" is why some kids never learn about the Hollocaust or the horrific things done to minorities in the USA. I never would have learned about the Japanese camps during WWII if I hadn't been required to read 'Farewell to Manzenar'. This was an incredibly sad book to read. It weighed on me, and it was depressing. It took me forever to finish reading it because I kept having to stop. But it made me think. It literally revealed to me a side of history I had no idea about in 6th grade and gave me the perspective of a Japanese-American girl growing up in a time rampant with hatred and racism against her family. When else would I have gotten that as young as I did. Required reading also helps prepare kids for what they may be learning later in the curriculum, which was actually why it was required reading at my school, our history classes touched on this later in the year.
I'm actually really surprised people are upset about Bridge to Terabithia. Yeah, one of the main characters dies. It's not like she is killed explicitly in the book with full descriptions or killed in a horrifically graphic and violent way. No, she died in a way that was a complete accident, "offscreen" so to speak, she fell and hit her head by the river and either that killed her or she drowned. (I can see how for some kids that may be more upsetting than something outlandish and graphic since it is such a regular everyday way to die.)
The boy in the book feels rage, guilt, grief, denial, and sorrow. He goes through all the emotions a reader would also go through if they were also particularly attached to Leslie. And that's part of the beauty of reading. That's also why this book is still recommended to kids or on their school reading lists: because it's on their level. It's target audience is 4th-5th grade readers, its not anything higher level than what a child that age can digest and understand. And when it delivers something emotionally painful, we are there with the boy and his emotions and with him learn a little about life and how it goes on.
Maybe I'm a stoic reader, but Leslie's death didn't wrack me with sadness. I was shocked, as I'm sure was the intention, that she died. We are delivered the news in the same way the boy is, after having a good day with his teacher and being blindsided with the death of his best friend. We are there with him in his surprise and confusion, his denial- that his parents are being cruel and lying to him. We're there with him when he runs to the river he and Leslie crossed over every day after school only to find the rope broken just like his parents said. The book quite literally does not leave kids high and dry without emotional follow through or resolution. Her death isn't the shocking twist ending that now a kid had to sit with like a stone in their stomach, forever wondering what happens. There are still chapters after she dies that you are with the boy as he tries to return to school and his normal life without her. As I recall, she dies 3/4 of the way into the book.
As I recall, he learns how to honor her memory and the things she and him created. He grows and adapts, and we, the readers, learn and grow with him. We see him form new relationships. We see the goodness in humanity as he deals with this tragedy early in his life. We leave him when he is able to go back to the place Leslie and he played, where he's built something new and treasured in memory of her. BtT leaves off on a hopeful note, I'd even say a cheerful one even if it's bittersweet. The book shows kids a life experience they hopefully won't have that young, but introduces them to tragedy and love and loss and how this boy dealt with it. Books allow us to see and live experiences we may never have, they allow us to expand our mind. These are critically important things for kids to do when their minds are still young. Books like these are how you can properly prepare your kids for life. Sheltering them from feeling sadness and negative emotions does not help them at all, and will just leave them stunted emotionally and intellectually.
Tumblr media
#rambling#i hate people who say kids shouldn't read books#its like parents or adults remenber feeling sad reading a book bc yeah sadness is a powerful emotion#but then dont think about how they're still alright#clearly a book didnt traumatize them. they grew from it as much as they dknt realize. but all they remember is feeling sad#and they dont want their kid or kids to feel sad bc it sucks to feel sad. but its so important for kids to experience these things#esp when young and in safe environments like books. if youre worried your child may not respond well to a book read it WITH them ffs#'who will help the child through this' YOU CAN DUMBASS#and its okay for kids to be sad when the sad part happens. its a normal reaction to have. dont coddle them from sadness. let them grow#let them learn how to deal with and handle it. let them talk about it and express themselves if they need to#my parents fostered my love of reading. but what i wished they also did was allow me the space to talk about and process it#i wouldn't say a book ever messed me up. but theres themes and emotions i would have loved to voice so I could understand better#idk how to describe what i mean. sometimes i feel the deep sadness I'd feel while reading something needed to be spoken. make it real idk#i want to make me sadness 'real'. not to make others sad or anything. but just the need to have it 'validated' in a sense#not in the 'yeah ur so valid for thinking thats sad. if you say its sad its sad' no. like actual validation of the emotions i was feeling.#to have that confirmation that yes what happened was sad wasnt it. and then be allowed to fully discuss the components that form it#yeah let your kids just talk about what they're reading. thats also important for them to fully process. and this is where you too#can also step in and help guide your kid or help them process their emotions. give advice or even tell them how you feel about it#wall of text#sorry gals#my additions
13K notes · View notes
rosenclaws · 21 days ago
Text
Erased || Logan Howlett x Reader
summary: You are a powerful mutant with powers you hated. They ruined your life and it led you down paths you weren't proud of. Things changed and now you lived happily with Logan. Until your past seems to come back to ruin everything
warnings: angst. traumatic childhood, brief mentions of torture.
wc: 2.7k
Link to part 2
a/n: Hi guys, so this is kind of the you get hurt and he goes feral fic but i've combined it with this other wip i had laying around. I talked a lot about wanting more angst and tw death (my grandmother passed last night) so ive been in this weird state of sadness that i'm repressing. Either way i wrote a fic so there's that lol. I will def have a part 2 btw so don't worry.
Tumblr media
Sometimes when you close your eyes you can remember your childhood. What it was like before your, gift, appeared and ruined everything. How your family loved you, how your friends welcomed you, how the world didn’t hate you. Everything was perfect.
Until the day it appeared. All you did was touch her arm. That’s all you did. An argument with your mother, silence, and then you touched her arm to try and apologize and next thing you knew she was asking who you were. Yelling at you to get out of her house. You cried not understanding what was happening.
She looked at you with nothing but confusion. Not even a hint of recognition. Then your father came home and you ran into his arms. Afraid and distraught when he pushed you off him. The same look in his eyes. Who are you? They threw you out, threatened to call the cops. They left you all alone, afraid, and confused.
It didn’t take long for you to understand. A mutant. You had heard of mutants but never thought you could be one. A mutant with a powerful ability. Memory manipulation. You could alter memories, dive into someone's deepest fears, their secrets, and even erase anything from heads. In a single moment their whole lives could be changed. It was a dangerous power and you wanted nothing to do with it.
For years you lived on the road. Keeping yourself moving, stealing when you needed to. Never getting too attached to one place, to anyone. You were alone.
Then one day some people found you. Dressed in stupid costumes. Still they took you in. Gave you a home, fed you, trained you. You grew up there. From teen to adult. Charles was kind and you don't think you could ever repay him for all that he's done. Your powers were strong but he taught you to control your emotions.
Still you tried to stay a safe distance away from people. Not just physically but emotionally. The nightmares of your parents haunt you everyday. They're nice. All of them are. The kids loved you and you enjoyed the mansion.
Still when the team invited you out you declined, when the kids wanted to crowd you during dinner you politely excused yourself to your office. You didn't go to parties, you didn't celebrate the holidays with them. You were just you, a nice, safe distance away from them. Then your world got flipped upside down.
The day Logan rolled into the mansion. He was mean and angry. He had that "I don't like being around people" kind of vibe but he stuck around. Ended up becoming more apart of the team than he wanted. And he liked it.
Logan was the first one to really break down your walls. Just like everyone else you stayed away from him. Smiling and greeting him but never going past that. Maybe that's what drew him to you. You were a mystery who smelled like vanilla. It was your perfume. He would try to flirt but he got nowhere. Eventually he gave up the flirting but his interest stayed. He find ways to talk to you, getting bits and pieces of information from you.
You quickly learned he was just like you in some ways. Guarded, a past life that you don't want to talk about, loners. Somehow in all of it, as he stayed at the mansion and grew to become part of this family, he wormed his way into your heart too. Just too loners who found out that being alone together is better than being lonely.
As time passed, your relationship with Logan evolved into something you never imagined you would experience. Love. You never let yourself feel this way, too afraid that you would do the same thing to them. That you would get close, build this connection, make these memories, only for it all to come crashing down with just a single touch. These memories are precious to you. Every single one of them.
You remember the day your feelings were revealed. Both of you desperate, afraid of what they meant, but neither of you could lose each other. It was the cure. Some company had found a way to suppress the gene. The moment you heard about it you were intrigued. Your mutation wasn't fun. It didn't let you control the weather or turn things to ice. You couldn't touch people. Just like rouge you were at risk for destroying someone's whole life.
Even with the years of lessons you weren't fully in control. You never let yourself try. Logan could see it in your eyes. The confrontation wasn't pretty.
It was anger at first, wondering how you could even consider that. Then it was anger from you, years of pent up feelings releasing all at once. The fighting turned into a deep confession. An intimate moment between the two of you. He cared for you in a way that scared the shit out of him. He couldn't say the words yet but he felt them. You felt the same way but just like Logan. Something was holding you back from saying those three words.
Still you showed your love to each other in other ways. You always let him know how much you cared for him. The words died on your tongue but he knew. You hope he did.
Logan bought you a necklace. Didn't make a big deal of it but you could see the blush on his face. Tossing you the box and mumbling something about him seeing it and thinking of you. It was gorgeous. Just a simple heart necklace with two sparkling stones. One for him and one for you.
Even if you couldn't touch he wanted apart of him to be with you. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. You had Logan. You had the team, the mansion. For once you felt like your life was falling into place.
Apparently the universe didn't like that. Charles had called the team in for an important mission. You weren't on the team due to your own choosing so when Logan came back to bed he started to talk.
"Yeah some rogue mutants. Bunch of assholes who enjoy torturing humans." He grumbled as he threw his jacket on. Fixing his hair in the mirror as you sit on the bed. You're doing everything you can to stay calm, to not set off Logan's super senses.
"Some guy named Mack is their leader. Guess he's got some illusion powers or something." Logan says it all like its nothing. To him it is nothing. Just another mission. To you though, it's the beginning of the end.
"Don't know who in their right mind would do shit like that. Just a bunch of low life idiots." He spits. You wince at his harsh tone. He notices your silence and glances over at you. You're practically frozen in place. An unreadable look in your eyes.
"You alright?" Logan moves to touch your arm but you jerk it away.
"Yeah sorry, just had another nightmare last night." You lie. Logan looks at you strangely before sitting on the bed. His hand intertwining with your gloved one.
"Though I told you to wake me up." You snort and roll your eyes playfully. "And I told you the same thing." You counter. He smirks, you have him there. Part of why you go so well together.
"I'll wake you next time, I promise." There's a loud knock at the door and Logan grumbles.
"Promised some dumb kids I'd take them to the mall. Storm promised me a six pack of beer." After saying goodbye you let your smile fall.
This couldn't be happening. You thought you were finally safe, this was years ago. How could they still be around. Before Charles had found you, you were involved with this group. You weren't proud if it but you were hungry and afraid and they found you. Mutants just like you. They weren't afraid of you. In fact they were in awe of you, something you had never felt before.
You fell into their group, participating in the horrible things they'd do. You never did anything yourself. You were clean up crew. Wiping memories of anyone who saw something they weren't supposed to. Still, you enabled it all. When you finally left, it wasn't easy. You had tried to erase their memories but for some reason they could block you. You got away but they swore one day they'd come back for you. You were one of them forever now. No one would understand, no one would forgive you. You were a monster just like them.
Your mind runs a mile a minute. Thinking of everyone in the mansion. The team. Storm, Jean, Scott, Rouge...everyone.
Logan, oh god Logan.
Would he understand? He would have to. He's just like you. He did things in his past. He was violent, angry, a survivor. He never claimed to be a hero. But that doubt swirls in your mind. Fear overtakes any rational thought. You know what you have to do.
This was your fight, not theirs. You could stop them, you needed to finish what you started. Grabbing your wrinkled old backpack you stuff clothes, money, and any essentials inside of it. You had to move quick before any of the mind readers got a hint of what you were thinking.
Especially Charles. You barely had time to think about this but the fear was creeping into your mind. Poisoning it. It's better this way. It's safer this way. They've done so much for you that you owe it to them to help. You're protecting them. All of them. Logan included.
You held on tightly to the necklace he had given you. Tucking it in your shirt as you leave the room. You smiled as you walked through the halls. Saying hello to those who passed by. By the time you were at the front doors you felt a pull to keep you here.
Deep down you didn't want to leave. Of course you didn't. But you overcome the pull and walk through the doors. Refusing to look back as the mansion grows smaller in the distance. You walked for hours. Your feet aching as you finally reached some rinky dink motel. The room is depressing but for now it's home. Curling up on the bed you bury your face in the pillow.
Your heart longing for Logan. You're scared, so scared. A part of you wants to go back and find him. Tell him everything and ask for help. But then you remember what he said. How would he react knowing that you were one of them? Would he forgive you or would he turn his back on you just like Mack always said?
You barely get a moment to think before there's a loud knock at the door. Hand slamming impatiently against it. You quietly get up and look through the peephole. You cover your mouth to hide your shocked gasp. Logan. How the hell did he find you?
"I know you're in there." Oh he's angry. You open the door and Logan steps through.
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" His voice booms through the room.
"I come home to a ransacked room, I thought you were in danger. Only to be told that you ran away." He growls. He's clenching his fists tightly. How could you do this to him?
"How did you find me?" You demand as you slowly sink back towards your bag.
"Why did you leave? What's going on!" Logan is confused, lashing out on you because he just doesn't understand. Things were going great. You loved him and he loved you so why would you just run away. Away from the mansion, away from him. Did you not trust him anymore? Why?
"You wouldn't understand." You try to move past him but he grabs your shoulders and pressing you against the wall.
His claws coming out to pin you to it. The sharp adamantium knicks the chain around your neck, breaking it in two. The necklace falls to the ground but neither of you notice.
"Try me." The anger is slowly fading as he silently begs you to talk. To let him in.
"I'm sorry Logan, but I can't."
"Why not? What are you running from? I can help. Let me help." He begs. Please don't leave him. Please. He can do something. He can heal like crazy, he can track, he's fast, he's got fucking metal claws. He can help.
"You can't help me with this Logan. This is for your own good." You try to stay strong but looking into those gorgeous eyes of his was about to make you break.
"This is my fight and mine alone." He scoffs and lets go of you and starts to pace.
"Bullshit. This is our fight now. That's the deal. I lo-" He sighs and pulls you close. "Its you and me. Together." You gently trace his jaw with your gloved hands.
Tears glossing over your eyes as it takes everything in power to stay strong. To not fall into his arms. He's protected himself his whole life and you can't be the one to put him in more danger. He's a hero, he's your hero but tonight he's the love of your life and you need to protect him. Even if it feels like ripping out your own heart.
"Logan..." You say softly. He looks at you with those pretty eyes and you cup his face.
Slowly your lips brush against his. It's just a hint at first. Then it's everything at once. He smashes his lips to yours. Kissing you with a passion and need that you've dreamed off. This is your first kiss after all. It's everything you ever wanted. To feel his lips on yours. Skin to skin. You'll treasure this moment forever.
He's so wrapped up in the kiss that he doesn't notice you take your hand away. Taking off your gloves and move your hands to the side of his head. Hovering over his temples. He pulls away, breathing heavily as he leans in and kisses you again.
"I love you Logan, I love you so much." You say with tears falling down your cheeks. He realizes too late, a flash of fear as you press your hands to his face.
"No!" He roars but its too late.
Like he's in a trance he stands there. You cry as you erase every memory he has of you. He won't remember you, he won't know why he's here or how he got here. You know that you won't have long before someone else finds you and you'll erase their memory too. It's for the best. It's for his own good. His eyes flutter close as he falls to the floor. You catch his head, lowering him gently to the ground. A pillow placed under it. You can't stay, he'll wake any moment. But you have a few seconds. You lean down and place a kiss on his forehead.
"I love you Logan Howlett." You whisper gently.
You take one last look at him before grabbing your bag and running out the door. Each step apart from him is like a knife in your chest. You tell yourself this what needed to happen. You'd rather lose Logan like this than watching him suffer because of you. This way he can be happy, he can move on.
You did this for him. All of it for him.
-
Logan wakes to a pounding in his head. Confusion washes over him as he takes in his surroundings. Where the fuck is he? He doesn't remember how he got here, why he came here. He stands up and looks around the room.
"What the hell?" He mumbles to himself.
Was this a prank or something? He cracks his neck and looks around. The room is mostly empty but a small glimmer catches his eyes. He walks over and sees six holes in the wall that match his claws.
Leaning down he picks up a necklace. A heart with two stones. He winces as a sharp pain shoots through his head. He stands up and slips the necklace in his pocket, something telling him to keep it close. He feels a pain in his chest. Not physical pain but something else. Maybe he finally got drunk. Drank enough to finally fuck him up.
All he knows is that he needs to get back to the mansion. As he leaves stops for a second. He shakes his head and continues on, hopping back on his motorcycle. For a second there he swears he caught a whiff of vanilla.
Must be his imagination.
535 notes · View notes
booksandabeer · 8 months ago
Text
Celebrating 10 Years of CA:TWS — A Stucky Rec List
Tumblr media
Rec list for the CA:TWS 10th Anniversary Event @catws-anniversary (thank you so much for organizing this event! 💙) | Prompt: Memories
10 years, huh? 10 years of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. 10 years of what many—myself included��still consider to be the best MCU movie ever made.
But also 10 years of post-TWS fanfiction. 10 years of Bucky Barnes Recovering and Steve Rogers' Sadness Errands; of Up All Night to Get Bucky and Revenge Road Trips; of Winter Soldier Trauma Umbrellas and Everybody Needing A Goddamn Hug; of Good Bros and Soft Epilogues. 10 years and tens of thousands of Steve/Bucky fics later, here we are.
So, to mark the occasion, let's take a trip down memory lane and celebrate the movie and the stories it inspired: One fic from each year since it all began:
There's really only one rule here: All fics are set before, during, or after the events of CA:TWS and/or reimagine its plot in interesting ways. Naturally, many of the fics on this list are post-TWS canon divergent, but I tried to go for a nice variety of length, genre, and popularity to keep it interesting. Speaking of popularity, this is very much not intended as a round-up of ‘most popular fics of each year’ because—and I say this with all the love and respect in my heart for those stories and their authors—nobody needs a rec list for that, and I believe in spreading the love. Here we go:
Tumblr media
Poltergeists by enemyofrome | 17K, T
Author's summary: When the helicarriers blow up and the Winter Soldier goes on the run, he takes Steve with him. He's got a name written in Morse code on the inside of his arm, a ton of questions he doesn't know how to ask, and now, a new handler with absolutely zero sense of self-preservation to contend with. Life is hard. In which Bucky tries to figure out whether he's a human being, Steve does everything he can to keep from losing him again, and there are lots of explosions.
Starting off with one of the best versions of the 'Bucky didn't leave Steve, he took him with him after the Potomac' fics that were (and still are!) so popular post-TWS. This one stands out because of its fantastic beginning, its interesting take on how Bucky was broken and remade into the Winter Soldier, and because it allows both characters to be messy. It's a popular fanon trope that it's Steve who brings out a ruthless, almost vicious streak in Bucky, but here it's emphasized that this is very much a mutual thing. Just like Bucky, who's often afforded the "excuse" of still figuring out how to be a person again, Steve gets to be difficult here—without ever turning him into a stubborn asshole. They're both traumatized, and they're both allowed to show it and to lash out, including at each other. Also, this fic will give you capital-F Feelings about morse codes and apples. Believe me.
Tumblr media
sleepwalk back to the battle site by ftmsteverogers | 22K, T
Author's summary: “I’m going to track down every HYDRA agent that’s left,” Bucky says, buckling his gun deftly to his belt. “And then I’m going to kill them.” “Oh,” Steve says. “Come with me?” Bucky asks, dangerous hands tucked into his pockets.
A classic post-TWS fic that picks up right after the movie ends. Equal parts Revenge Roadtrip, Bucky Barnes recovering, and Steve Rogers being in urgent need of a good hug. This starts out intensely melancholic—Steve's despair and helplessness are palpable and there's a scene involving a drinking glass that still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Halfway through, the story changes pace and becomes much more action-heavy, but it still manages to allow space for the quiet, intimate moments between Steve and Bucky. They have both become sharp and deadly men, but they're also allowed to be soft with each other. Their coming together feels sweet and inevitable. I also really enjoyed the Steve characterization here. His absolute conviction that Bucky is still Bucky at his very core and always will be, but also his emotional and intellectual flexibility to adapt to this still-new-to-him, changed version of Bucky rang very true to me.   
Tumblr media
Surveillance by Sproings, 7K in 2 parts, G
Author's summary: If there are ears everywhere, that means it's somebody's job to listen. I hate my job.
Do you ever think about how SHIELD bugged Steves DC apartment and how horrible that was, but also...you're kind of curious what they might have overheard? Do you ever wonder about the people who listened in on his sad, lonely life? Well, here you go. An outsider POV fic told "through the ears" of an unnamed SHIELD agent assigned to spy on the private life of a man who doesn't really have much of one. The story begins just before IM3 and takes us all the way through the events of CA:TWS and beyond. It's clever, original and told with great empathy for both the subject under surveillance and the person carrying out that surveillance—who increasingly questions its purpose. Here's a small snippet to give you an idea of the fic's style:
He got a phone call, once. He put it on speaker, too, which was very exciting for me at the time. It was from an archivist at the Smithsonian. They seemed really surprised that he answered his own phone calls. The two of them talked for a long time about an exhibit the museum was planning. A very long time. As if one of them was starstruck, and the other was desperate for any kind of human interaction.
Tumblr media
What Gets You Through by velleities | 12K, M
Author's summary: For Steve, getting through each day is a process – one he’s currently failing at spectacularly. Feeling out of place in this brave new world, he hopes to find a home in Bucky, and looks for him with everything he’s got. But Bucky doesn’t want to be found, and when he does touch base with Steve, he never sticks around for long. Bucky has embraced the modern age, leaving Steve lagging behind – or so Steve believes, until Bucky shows him otherwise.
This post-TWS fic revolves around five encounters in liminal spaces, and each time Bucky has pieced himself back together again just a little more. Despite their increasingly longer and more honest conversations, and Bucky's incremental progress, he always disappears again, leaving Steve to grapple with his heartbreak. There are quietly gorgeous moments in this fic (the bus and the church in particular were my personal favorites) as well as wonderfully crafted characterizations. Bucky is initially portrayed as somewhat feral in some ways yet surprisingly well-adjusted in others, and I love that Steve can't help but be a little annoyed at that. However, it quickly becomes clear that, in good old Bucky Barnes fashion, much of it is really just a front put up for Steve's benefit...
Tumblr media
A Real Boy by itsnotbleak | 5K, T
Author's summary: It took the Winter Soldier three weeks to remember that human beings needed to sleep and eat. It took Steve far too long to realise the Winter Soldier was sleeping in his bed.
A wonderful, short-but-doesn't-feel-like-it fic (in the very best way) set immediately after CA:TWS, in which Bucky secretly and then soon not so secretly visits Steve in his apartment. Follow along as Bucky Barnes argues with his brain about sandwich toppings, the importance of a good night's sleep, and the necessity of personal hygiene. Also: how to best go about becoming a real boy (again). And who the hell is that Bucky guy anway? This is as soft and sweet a Bucky recovery fic as you're ever going to find. It's funny but not silly; sad in a way that all of these stories inherently are—because, well, these are some tragic boys—but not super angsty or depressing. A beautiful story with a lovely, hopeful ending.
Tumblr media
Savage God by PottersPink | 36K, M
Author's summary (abbr.): Past, present, future, Steve knows Bucky Barnes. It’s why he recognized him when he found him in that alley in April of 1942, even though Bucky was older, stronger, wearier; he called himself The Asset, and had a metal fucking arm. He flinched when Steve tried to touch him, and when Steve told him he loved him, his first response was to ask why. Seventy years later, Steve wakes up in the twenty-first century, and he doesn’t know whether to be heartbroken or hopeful when some of the things Bucky revealed to him in 1942 start falling into place.
An absolutely riveting AU that will have you on the edge of your seat the whole time. I'm itching to talk about it more but I cannot since it would mean spoiling the hell out of it. What I can say is that it's a very intriguing and clever exploration of what would happen if Steve knew about the future but without really knowing any of the details. How would it change the events of CA:TFA and CA:TWS, and how would it change Steve himself? I so very much appreciate this characterization of Steve as smart, competent, and unwavering with a hefty dose of no fucks left to give. This fic features some really nifty time travel and plotting, great action sequences and a very satisfying ending where certain people get their much-deserved comeuppance. Plus: Bonus Shrinkyclinks (kind of)!
Tumblr media
Charlie Lock by seapigeon | 105K, M (hard M)
Author's summary (abbr.): The Winter Soldier knows that sometimes, in order to make the kill, you must destroy what the Target lives for. Steve Rogers knows that he can't fight his captors. If he fights, they'll kill Bucky. But the price of his life is steep. Tony Stark has nothing left to live for, but he's needed. So all these miserable motherfuckers better stay alive, too. Clint Barton never expected to be a leader. But a leader he is, and no one else is going to die on his watch. --- A story in which the first wave of Project Insight succeeds, and the Avengers must pick up the pieces and find a way to stop Hydra from completing its work with Zola's algorithm.
This is not only the longest fic on this list, but also the angstiest one—by a mile, so please heed the tags. It's dark, disturbing, and brutal. However, it is neither relentless misery porn nor is it shocking for shock's sake, where everything is magically forgotten and/or healed the moment Steve and Bucky start kissing. Instead, the author puts these characters into an absolutely horrifying situation and then slowly, gently guides them out of it and into the light.
It's a Stucky fic but it's also a multi-POV ensemble piece featuring all the Avengers and other familiar faces. If you are someone who'll always be a little bitter about the unfulfilled promise of an Avengers found family, then this is for you. In this AU, they do not only fight together, but grow together in every way. They truly become a team, not just co-workers barely tolerating each other. The story takes its time exploring the characters and the group dynamics. Steve and Bucky are definitely at the center of the narrative but there is space here for every member of the team to grieve and adjust to the new reality and to find at least some measure of healing. It's a story about the meaning and the consequences of revenge, about hope and resilience, and about love in all its many forms. It also has one of the most satisfying title drops that will have you pump your fist in triumph when it happens. It's a tough read, but ultimately a very rewarding one.
Tumblr media
SPELEVINK by Ginny_Potter | 10K, G
Author's summary: Bucky’s back. He’s leaving me messages through IKEA plushies, Steve texts Sam. jesus christ, rogers, Sam texts back. Or, Bucky lives in an IKEA Tiny Apartment, Steve is a dancing monkey once again, and somehow they find their way back to each other.
This is an absolute DELIGHT of a fic that will have you alternately laughing out loud and crying quietly into your SVARTFIBBLA blanket (super-soft, recycled polyester, 47x63"). It's ‘crack treated seriously’ at its very best and a clear homage to the fandom classic Infinite Coffee… (that’s not a dig or a spoiler, the author says so in the author’s note).
Now if you know me, you’ll know that angst o’clock is my happy hour and I’m usually not very into these heavy-on the-humor quasi-absurdist fics (because I’m super special and not like all the other girls, obviously). But. I LOVED this story so, so much. It’s such a fun read—even when it makes you cry—and it really became one of those ‘huh, I guess I’m into this after all’ moments of joyful (self)discovery via fanfic for me. I never thought a pair of oven mitts could move me like that, and I'll never be able to walk into an IKEA again without muttering "F******!" under my breath (iykyk). Absolutely fantastic.
Tumblr media
a handful of dust by RecoveringTheSatellites | 20K, M
Author's summary: Steve looks for Bucky for a long time. But the thing is that Bucky doesn't get found, Bucky finds. Bucky always finds Steve. This takes a hard left after the Potomac and stumbles through the dark a lot after. Take a bit of running, the occasional synaptic misfire, the resurfacing of old memories, a dash or two of PTSD, and (eventually) a nice dose of action, stir, and serve over some unresolved issues.
Tumblr media
Honestly, the second paragraph up there perfectly sums up the story. It's a good ol' fashioned Bucky recovery fic with some angst, some action, and a whole lot of healing and devotion. Steve and Bucky get to be very sappy about each other, but also extremely Badass Battle Boyfriends™ when somebody threatens their hard-won happiness. Both are allowed to be messy, unstable, and very co-dependent.
This was the first time this author played in the Stucky sandbox and I mean it 100% as a compliment when I say that you can tell. This is someone with "fresh legs" diving headfirst and very deep into the Stucky trope pool and they're doing it with great relish and enthusiam. The result is a story that rejects some of the tried and true conventions of the post-TWS fanfic canon and lovingly embraces others, but that is definitely aware of and in dialogue with the body of work that came before it. Also, it's just a really fun read that gives these two the very soft ending they deserve.
Everybody is Supposed to be Dead by pollutedstar | 22K, M
Author's summary: In 1944, Bucky Barnes falls off a train into the Alps, missing and presumed dead. Months later, Steve Rogers nosedives a plane into the arctic. In 2010, the Winter Soldier project is uncovered by S.H.I.E.L.D., and Bucky Barnes is found alive. Three years later, Steve Rogers’ frozen body is found in the ocean.
Tumblr media
A really interesting AU and a fascinating exploration of what could’ve been; the impact it would’ve had on the events and characters if Bucky had been the one to be “found” first. How would it affect Steve to come back into a world where he isn’t quite so lonely and adrift, and where he does have the relief and reassurance of having Bucky by his side and at his back? How would that have changed the way he acted and reacted to this strange new world and the people and organizations trying to recruit him to their cause even though the ice hasn't even completely melted off his body yet?
There are a lot of astute and precise observations about characters like Tony, Natasha, and Clint in this story, and on top of that, it offers up some very compelling insights into Steve's conflicted and difficult relationship with his role as Captain America.
it's never over (hey orpheus) by romcommie | 12K WIP, 2/?, M
Author's summary: He remembers a song first and then everything else follows, burying him below. Or, Bucky Barnes pieces a life back together with a few choice verses, some duct tape and seventy years worth of spite. Steve Rogers tries very hard to relearn there's a life to be lived in the first place.
Ok, listen up, people! This is a WIP and there are only 2 chapters posted so far, but I haven't felt this absolutely bonkers excited about a post-CA:TWS fic in a long while. We're talking frothing at the mouth here. I have such a massive crush on this fic, it's a bit embarrassing, really. It's one of those fics where you know after just a few paragraphs that you're in very good, very competent hands. The wealth of historical and cultural detail; the way the story shifts/flips/flickers back and forth between time, perspective and narrative levels; the Bucky voice—it's all so well done! I'm so insanely excited to see where the author takes this!
ENJOY!
546 notes · View notes
bonefall · 2 months ago
Note
the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.
Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."
As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.
If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.
I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."
And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!
Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.
"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.
In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.
In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.
All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.
They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.
(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)
Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.
You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.
157 notes · View notes
for-those-who-wait · 2 months ago
Note
it hurts me to ask this, but how would blorbo!Hunter respond to the death of flapjack…
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Blorbo Hunter has cat brain where he doesn't really have a complex thought process (there's another ask about this in my inbox that I'll answer once I doodle some more, I'll try to go more in-depth about it then) so I think it would be that situation where one of your pets passes and the other is confused about why their buddy isn't around anymore and why their owner is suddenly very sad
I would really like to make a comic about it but it would take a while and my brain is mush so, taking crack seriously, I think it would happen like this (very limited memory of what happens in the beginning of For the Future):
Blorbo Hunter is probably in somebody's pocket or bag for the whole altercation with Belos in Thanks to Them, so he didn't actually witness anything. Everyone is very torn up about it after they go through the portal, the blorbo is a little confused about why Hunter looks sad and weird, but he's just kind of chilling. Hunter can't really stand to look at the blorbo for a bit (something about anxiety about loss and wanting to distance himself emotionally as a coping mechanism) so he passes him off to Luz and the gang to watch over while he broods in the corner at the Owl House like normal. Blorbo Hunter is just hanging out, he's kind of wondering what's up since I think Flapjack would be as constant a presence for blorbo Hunter as he is for regular Hunter and he's similarly not used to not having that presence nearby. They are friends, they love each other, and he wants to know where his friend is!
I think blorbo Hunter has a little bit of a signal thing going where he'll make little gestures about things he wants (he just learned that Flapjack is more likely to interact with him if he opens his arms like he wants a hug, and he kept doing it). So the gang is familiar by now that when he splays his little arms out, he's referencing Flapjack. And he doesn't actually do that until they're all calming down, slowly trying to fall asleep at the Owl House, and he finally wriggles away to find Hunter (because he follows him absolutely freaking everywhere and he might as well have a natural homing beacon for that boy)
Hunter's not really trying to sleep, he's been Irreparably Traumatized, and blorbo Hunter climbs onto him and splays his arms out like "Where's Flapjack?" since Hunter usually knows where he is, and blorbo Hunter has associated Hunter with Flapjack appearing. Hunter isn't even sure if he should respond to that, because he knows by now that the blorbo just can't really understand the concept of loss like that. Hunter's probably tearing up a bit by now because of all the stress and emotions he's shoving down, and now he's got this innocent little thing looking up at him for guidance that he feels he's incapable of providing because Flapjack, the one thing the blorbo is asking for, is gone in a way that Hunter can't explain and the blorbo can't understand.
Blorbo Hunter, ever the cat, at least recognizes that Hunter's upset. The blorbo climbs up onto his chest, probably lays right up against his chin, and just sits there for the sake of closeness and an attempt at comfort. And for his part, I think Hunter would just grieve a lot about it because Flapjack was probably there to help him process even accepting blorbo Hunter in the first place (I think Flapjack would immediately love the blorbo and would have to spend a long time convincing Hunter to give him a chance as well), and now he's left with the guilt of having initially disliked the blorbo and also killing his friend. Like "I killed Flapjack with the hand that I am currently using to try and comfort this weird clone-cat-creature he was friends with, I'm so incredibly messed up and terrible for this."
This child can fit so much trauma and self-hatred in him holy crap
ANYWAY sorry for the ramble, hopefully that answers the question, thank you for asking it :))
168 notes · View notes
chelledoggo · 1 month ago
Text
Happy 1-Year Anniversary to The Amazing Digital Circus!
Tumblr media
i sadly don't have any art pieces ready (i want to do something! it'll just be late.), but i wanted to commemorate this day anyway, so let me talk about what this silly, twisted, heartfelt little show means to me 💖
Tumblr media
i admit, i jumped on this crazy train slightly late. it was a couple weeks after the pilot premiered. but i kept seeing this nervous little jester girl on my social media timelines and thought "hmmmm… i should check this out."
best decision ever.
now, i have a cornucopia of neurodivergences and mental illnesses: autism, possible ADHD, anxiety, depression, C-PTSD, etc… i've always felt "trapped" in this loud, scary, confusing "circus" of a world. so naturally, this traumatized jester woman resonated with me.
she finds herself thrown into this loud, bright, scary digital world. she can't comprehend what's happening, and it seems at first that no one really understands her.
and it dawns on her: this is her life.
the autistic experience right there.
she eventually meets Gummigoo, an NPC who suddenly finds himself in an existential panic. Pomni sees that Gummi's just as scared as she is. she sits down to comfort a fellow "outcast."
and this is when the show began to speak to me on an even deeper level.
youtube
but just as quickly as Pomni feels she finally has some hope, those hopes are instantly dashed as Gummigoo is unceremoniously blasted into confetti. Pomni once again finds herself feeling hopeless and alone.
that's when her fellow circus cast members step in.
she stands witness to a beautiful funeral service for Kaufmo, a friend she never got to meet. all these fellow scared humans, giving beautiful eulogies for their fallen comrade.
and then it hits her, these people are a family. they care for one another. she's not alone.
youtube
this sense of love and community is displayed once again in the latest episode. Pomni is at her lowest low. she's literally in Hell. but even then, she has a friend. a friend who's also suffering.
…i'll let this scene speak for itself. it's just that powerful.
honestly? it's not even just Pomni that resonates with me, either. i see a little of myself in a lot of these characters.
Ragatha tries to hold onto optimism and childlike wonder, but she's going through it too. i'm a traumatized womanchild in my 30s, too. big-ass mood.
Tumblr media
Gangle literally has to "mask" and put on a happy face, not stepping on any toes. but that mask is fragile. she can only put on a front for so long before the sad, scared, trembling girl underneath is exposed. another autistic mood for me lol.
Tumblr media
Zooble? ohhh, their therapy subplot hit me HARD as both an autistic person and an enby. they've tried to communicate how unhappy they are. they've tried to let Caine know what they need. but he doesn't even seem to hear them. eventually it's not worth it to try anymore.
Tumblr media
i can't stress enough how much this show has resonated with me. Pomni and her friends have become my friends as well. they're faint sparks of hope in a hopeless world, even as they're suffering themselves. they remind me to find the light in my own "circus."
Tumblr media
wellp. i've rambled enough.
i just… really wanna thank Gooseworx, the voice cast, and all of the TADC crew who've worked hard to bring The Amazing Digital Circus to life. what you're doing really means the world to a scared little jester like me. 💖
113 notes · View notes
bonaesperanza · 1 year ago
Text
Another thing I liked is how Laurent's trauma is handled, because usually when a character has a Secretly Traumatic Backstory there's some kind of annoyingly maudlin scene about it. Either they get into some kind of big conflict with the love interest and are forced to explain themselves so they don't get judged or dumped, or the love interest intrudes on a vulnerable moment and sees them being abused or somehow handling the consequences of that abuse, or they are explained the circumstances by a benevolent third party, and this changes their view of the abused character because now they're god's poorest meow meow and I just fucking hate it every time.
Like, this is why I stopped reading this type of story: because the amount of crowding and backing into a corner and privacy violation that happens to abused characters in order to coax them into opening up about it and reassure them that they're okay is so annoying. I feel like I've been psychologyposting on main too much lately, so I might explain later why I feel this way or I might not but in any case I hate it.
I love that this book is the literal opposite of that, that Damen not only doesn't crowd Laurent and insist that he open up, but that Damen ensuring space and privacy and time to calm down for Laurent when he's overwhelmed is repeatedly portrayed as an act of friendship and caring and love (that Laurent later reciprocates, because they both lose their heads when something pushes their buttons and understand this about each other).
I also love how Damen doesn't fall in love with Laurent because Laurent is sad and fucked up, or because he's so brave to have put up with the abuse, or because Damen too is sad like Laurent (I'm physically restraining myself from going off on a rant about how shared trauma is hardly ever a good foundation for a relationship): no, he falls in love with Laurent because he's whip-smart, and a good leader, and funny, and tender once he opens up, and a lateral thinker, and a man of integrity who keeps his promises and pays back his debts (and because he's pretty and blonde and good at sporty shit that Damen likes). Some of these things may have been shaped by the awful shit that happened to Laurent, as they were also probably shaped by his station or his education or his body type or any other circumstance of his life, but it's refreshing to have a character who went through awful shit but who also has other things going on for him that make him loveable instead of being completely defined by his trauma. And even when Damen finds out, the way he thinks about Laurent literally doesn't change at all - the things he likes about Laurent are still seen in the same light as always, Laurent's personality as a whole is still the same, even his attitude towards what Laurent did to him when they first met doesn't change much (as we see in the short story epilogue). And even this last bit is really cool because Laurent is never stripped of his agency or made out into some sort of helpless victim currently, both of which would probably mortify him with how much he's trying to establish that he's not at any opportunity.
And I also like how it's not necessary for Laurent to tell Damen about it in order for them to be close, nor does Damen push him into it. And everyone else seems to agree that it's Laurent's story to tell when and how he wants it told, except for the villain of the piece, who reveals it in the most awful way possible. This is particularly important because Damen spends three books grabbing everyone in Laurent's life by the shoulders and shaking them and going, "Why do you care about this guy??? Have you noticed that he's kind of an ashole?? Why are you loyal to him?? Why???" and no one ever says anything, because they're protective of Laurent and don't want to take away his agency or privacy because it's his fucking story to tell. Even after Damen finds out, we don't see him mention it and he probably lets Laurent open up or not on his own terms, as he does with everything else that doesn't directly concern him. Even though we've seen through Laurent's dialogue time and time again that he's probably conceptualizing it in some fucked up ways in his own head and needs yet to realize that he's not some kind of twisted pervert for what happened to him, crowding him about it before he's ready won't accomplish much.
And the story itself backs all this by never being maudlin about it even though it's obvious what happened pretty early on (I figured it out really early, I remember suspecting it almost immediately and being dead sure of it by the Ancel scene in the garden); it kind of elipses around it, gives hints and parallels to other characters in similar circumstances, has Laurent say incoherent shit that makes sense in context, has other characters hint at it, but with Laurent being one of the central characters it's cool that the story gives him that respect and doesn't wallow in the tragedy of it all.
601 notes · View notes
ladyloveandjustice · 6 months ago
Text
I think a pretty firm example of how even the barest amount of guy/girl intimacy is treated as so much more valid and instantly romantic than intimacy between women is I've seen multiple fans say "Farcille fans are gonna be mad when we get to the succubus and the rabbit chapter" and I'm like "what happens in the rabbit chapter i don't remember???" and...it's just the chapter where Marcello leans on Laios. like that's all. She leans on his chest while exhausted and traumatized, while they're all sitting down and she's just been through hell and nearly lost everyone.
Like compared to all the times she's hugged or clung onto Falin, the way she carefully checked over Falin's naked body, them holding hands naked in the bath and her reaction to that, being gleeful about sleeping together with Falin and smothering her in an embrace...
all that is nothing to her leaning on Laios while tired and sad. Friends would never ever do that. If a woman leans on a man...that's the eroticism and romance that will destroy the fragile yuri shippers. Two girls touching each other naked is nothing compared to that.
This is what I mean by the "people can be intimate in platonic relationships" always being targeted at queer ships. Why don't we ever have a problem with how people will go "clearly a sign of true love" if a man and a woman brush past each other while women have to actually eat out on screen to get that same reaction from the majority of people? Why do we never "why can't they be friends" about straight pairings?
194 notes · View notes
t0p-1-sidecharacter--fan · 29 days ago
Text
Y'know what, my sbg headcannons, here you go
Logan is half (part??? Idk what term to use) European, like, he's half german (jew, not very religious jew, he does celebrate Christmas and valentines, he sometimes doesn't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), he's also half British, kinda, he has Scottish and Irish parts, he is also part Greek, he has some Italian, French, and Russian descent and you get what I mean
Between the Hernández twins, Taylor is secretly the older one, Tyler swears he's older though
Aiden had a very diverse music taste, and he also knows practically all the tiktok audios
When Ashlyn was younger, she wouldn't do jackshit in sports, like, she would just stand around and do nothing, watching as the other kids played with a blank face (this: 😐)
Ben makes paper flowers for the group with their favorite colors, and he also did calligraphy so he knows a one or two things
When Tay and Ty were younger, Taylor would always tell Tyler to shut up
Let's get back to the Aiden hc, Logan's the same, this is how they bonded, they're best friends (in my head), like, Logan also has a very diverse music taste, he mostly listens to Cavetown, Alec Benjamin, TV girl, The Neighborhood and some other stuff, but still, a very diverse listener, and sometimes, Aiden would just say a random audio and Logan would just unconsciously continue it
Ben likes to pet the others, like when they're sitting down, he just likes to put his hand on their head, and pat
Ashlyn's hair was mostly straight for a while but ever since she started doing braids and how often she'd keep them in, they just started to curl and stay that whole for a while (idk hair stuff ok??? So if that doesn't make sense then oh well)
Logan has a slight hip deformity, like, the right part of his hip is more upturned, so he sits like 'W' when he's on the ground sometimes, it works for him and it's better
Oh, and if Logan ever stretched his leg out, like, having it pulled and then stretching the other one out to the other side, his leg would probably pop out, it almost has (idk anatomy or what ever it is)
Ben has once traumatized a chicken and blamed it on a dog
Taylor and Logan use a lot of those little emoji like ":3, :>, <3, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, (●’◡’●)ノ" etc
Ashlyn and Tyler (very noticeably, surely) have a bitch/angry resting face, Aiden has a happy one, Logan has a sad/tired one, Taylor and Ben have normal resting faces
Tyler has had pretty bad anxiety issues, especially with his separation anxiety with Taylor, like, he will freak the fuck out if Taylor doesn't respond to his calls within the next 45 minutes
Tay and Ty can only handle being without each other for about 3-5 hours, any more than that, mental breakdown, panic attack etc etc
Ben and Ashlyn have fidgets for Aiden, they have keychains that are fidgets on their bags too
When the others are asleep, Aiden really likes to touch them in a way, like, play with their hair, poke their cheeks. For Logan, Aiden likes to try his glasses
Logan knows a bit of French, but it's very irrelevant cause it was "French math", like, he knows how to count to 80 in French, and also he knows 100 in French, but he doesn't know the 90s in french
Another Logan hc! He has always been an insomniac before Savannah
Sighhh, yes, another Logan hc, he can be a real bitch when he's sick, he's blunt and just bitchy, doesn't have time for bullshit when he's sick
When Tyler's sick, Taylor offers to clean up the house so he won't have to worry about chores like all the time
Aiden and Logan has had piercings before, Aiden used to have earrings and a nose piercing whilst Logan only had one
Aiden is really smart but he doesn't care much and doesn't really use his big brain, and Logan always goes on and on about how much potential Aiden has
Ashlyn, Aiden and Logan like horror movies, though, Ashlyn is more of a slasher horror movie fan, Aiden and Logan are really in for the horror, another reason they bond, but Logan doesn't do well with gore, he loves horror movies but can still really be terrified, Aiden laughs in horror movies
Oh, and Tyler HATES horror movies, but he puts up a brave face, he is secretly a romcom fan though
Once Aiden and Logan were on call and Aiden found a cup of water and he said it was out for a few days on his shelf, should he drink it, Logan sarcastically said yeah, no, you should definitely, totally drink it, of course, Aiden actually did and Logan laughed for a while before actually getting concerned and taken aback and asking Aiden if he was okay, Aiden said he could already feel the effects coming in but was alright and then said if he doesn't come to school the next day, Logan probably knows what happened. Aiden does end up coming to school and Logan said "Oh good, you survived the water,"
Logan makes little bouquets of the others birth month flowers and gives it to them on their birthdays
Once the gang was on a call and from Aiden's end, there was a lot of screams of pain and they were all obviously concerned, but it was more in a amused way, they all kept chatting cause Aiden kept joining with his screams and then leaving and then also sending voice messages of his screams. They kept texting him and asking if he was dying or smth, it was Lily jumping on his back
Logan HATES bugs, he kills them, all the time, no mercy for bugs, he works in a garden. Aiden kills the bugs for fun. Tyler is petrified of bugs and will scream at one. Tay, Ash and Ben are neutral, some bugs they'll be scared off, others, not so much so they leave it alone
If Logan ever did the "unfortunately I'm [subject] smart", it'd go as " Unfortunately, I am Math and Science smart, if you ask me to solve an equation or something about atoms, I will gladly answer it, but if you ask me to write a poem, I will cry." Though, Logan's smart in a bunch of subjects, english isn't one of his best, he hates writing poetry, essays etc, but he has amazing spelling and grammar. Unironically though, he is a fast typer, so when he sends a message, it's most likely to have awful spelling to give a stroke or terrible grammer or both, because of auto correct and where his fingers type
Aiden constantly sings "Wait, they don't love you like I love you," to the others and does the dance
Aiden, Ashlyn, Taylor and Logan know how to do the "Everybody dance now" dance
Logan also knows the Mualani's dance in Genshin Impact to Bailando and will do it
The group can tell that Logan is always holding back and always tell him that he can be himself around them, when he's super comfortable with them, he's... odd, in an amusing way. There was a time he asked Tyler to play rock paper scissors with him and when he lost, he purposely fell off his chair. Oh and Logan does Mualani's dance at random places with the others
Logan doesn't put much effort in sports but he's actually really fast when he actually wants to
The gang played a game of hide'n'seek and could not find Ashlyn for hours, she was hiding in a box up a shelf, she was squeezing herself in by having her legs pulled behind her back and her back arched
Aiden likes to gently slap Logan's glasses so when he does that, Logan's glassss only goes over his nose and he looks funny like that according to Aiden
Tyler was a FNAF kid and Aiden and Taylor were gacha kids (Taylor still secretly plays gacha)
Logan likes to doodle a bit
Logan had a project in Science and it was so good it was in a Science fair and won first place
Taylor and Tyler are each others number one fan
Ben comes over to Logan's house and they go to the greenhouse so Ben has some inspiration of something to draw
Aiden is lactose intolerant but drinks milk, eats ice cream, and a bunch of other dairy products
A lot of people had tried to befriend Ashlyn in middle school, and the thing is, Ashlyn is their friend, but their not Ashlyn's friend
Nowadays, Ashlyn would give some gestures to her classmates like thumbs up or waves when they do something, just a casual one, she doesn't smile at them, but they absolutely freak out for no reason
Taylor and Tyler are part Filipino and mostly Spanish
Logan and Aiden sing Toy-box songs together
Taylor and Taylor have warm bodies, Logan, Aiden and Ben have cold bodies, Ashlyn's body just goes whatever temperature depending on the season, her body is really cold in winter, pretty warm in summer
Oh, I forgot to say, another part of Logan being himself to the group, he spams chats, a lot, he spams random stuff, or song lyrics, he just got a bit annoying, in an amusing way to the others at least
I don't have any more, but I hoped you enjoyed these!!!
74 notes · View notes
corn-cardigan · 24 days ago
Note
please yap about enki’s sister I beg of you. she’s so cool and so are you
AW thank you!! 🫶
and thanks for letting me indulge in talking about these two!! here's how I see it:
Tumblr media
I really like the idea that the ritual fight that was mentioned in Enki's intro wasn't the only time he had to face off against his sister. It was always like that for him and Ninmah. The priests that took them in saw their potential and wanted to know who the superior sibling was.
My headcanon is that not only was Enki physically weaker than her, but emotionally frail as well. That no matter what, he'd always be a close second to his "better" twin. Ninmah was exceptional and obedient. Enki was completely pathetic next to her.
I like to think when they were super young, they did care for each other. But under harsh, abusive conditions from the priests, it further drove a wedge between them. And Enki's frailty warped into his distinct bitterness as to no longer appear as weak - as to compete on the same level as Ninmah.
The ritual fight was an inevitability. A scheme to see who truly was strong enough to live. So when Ninmah spared Enki, it was sort of her way of communicating that she still cared about her brother. Even if they were pitted against one another, even if she seemed unfeeling and unbothered, she still loved him as much as a young (definitely traumatized) girl could in that situation.
So when Enki's given the choice to either accept her mercy or literally backstab her, both are completely plausible. Like yeah he also possibly still loves her. That's his sister and she was always there for him. But on the other hand, after years of cruel reprimanding, he finally had the perfect opportunity to prove his superiority.
Either way, it doesn't end happily at all. If Enki kills Ninmah and raises her as a ghoul, I'm going to assume she won't be completely herself. She's basically dead. The other route is also tragic. Enki accepts defeat and gets chucked into a well. And at the bottom, his resentment festers. Not only towards his whole diocese but also directed at Ninmah. Because if she did truly love him, why did she not rescue him? (In truth, she would've also been doubly punished, let's be real.)
Assuming they're both alive, I'm entirely convinced that they haven't spoken to each other in over a decade. Enki's probably got a LOT of indignation for his old order and, by extension, Ninmah. And Ninmah acknowledges that he's moved on. Maybe it's best they never see each other.
No wonder Enki is such a big hater. He was one of the few people born into this world with someone and yet he still ended up abandoned and alone. :,)
anywayzz that was very rambly and very sad. but did you know bc enki is green and ninmah’s red this means theyre mario and luigi coded
Tumblr media
133 notes · View notes
twstfanblog · 3 months ago
Note
For the manhwa au (no it didn’t take me so long to send this ask because I had to figure out how to spell that shut up 🙈), we’ve heard a lot about the trio and a bit about Rook, Vil, and Leona.
But I want to hear about Yuu’s friendship with Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Ortho, and Idia!!! We haven’t really touched on them at all!
We heard from Ace and Deuce that Riddle was less of a hardass over at Yuu’s place, Ace and Deuce were ready to punch Jamil when delivering his letter for him got them thrown out of Yuu’s place, and apparently Idia cares enough about Yuu to yell at Azul, but I want to know more about their relationships!
They are obviously very close to her. Gimme the platonic love pls. 💜🥺
*cracks knuckles* THIS IS GONNA BE ALOT
Ok! So in terms of Riddle, he was actually just as bad at first but Yuu is pretty blunt as a child, plus she's got the brain of a 20yo also packed in with her 8yo mind. She brings up the fact that this is HER HOUSE, so her rules and her rules state you have to have a bite of tart during tea parties. Not...not the sad cracker veggie sandwiches that his mom made him bring.
Riddle starts to really love being over Yuu's house because he can be free in his own little ways. He can have tarts, he can have as much honey in his tea as he wants. Yuu lets him borrow her overcoats so they can roll down a hill together. He gets to be a KID!
Ace and Deuce like being at Yuu's house because she treats them fairly. Riddle's other noble playmates all see them as merely servants, they're just like...bonus playmates to Yuu. They also know what Riddle's home life is like, they've tried to make it bearable. But Riddle only feels worse when they take blame for things and have to serve his punishments. Which is WHY they reacted so aggressively when Jamil's letter gets them kicked out of Yuu's home. Its the one place they can all just be friends and not have to worry about Riddle's mom punishing them for that.
Idia heard about Yuu for the longest time from Azul, who, due to his own misjudments, saw her as this purely malicous person. But when she's just...a person, he calms down. She's kinda mean, sure, but so is he, so is Azul. She also inherited Crewel's intimidating stare (resting bitch face).
Idia started info dumping when Yuu asked about a book he had brought to their lessons. He realizes hes been talking for like a WHILE and apologies and tries to hide away. Yuu very bluntly tells him, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know and I would have told you to shut up if I got bored." And Idia realizes that Yuu is painfully simple and that's...probably why Azul had a hard time seeing her for what she was.
Ortho is a wild card because (new development) due to some traumatic childhood incident, he's been bedridden since he was basically a toddler. He's on the mend, slowly, but his parents are still very concerned about his wellbeing and don't let him leave the house, and rarely his room.
He and Yuu become friends because during her and Idia having lessons, Yuu started sending Idia home with a book she thought Ortho would like. Idia had started out reading them to Ortho, but then, as he got better, Ortho was able to hold the books himself. He even starts to write reviews that he has Idia deliver to Yuu. They lowkey make a little book club.
Yuu and Ortho meet officially on Yuu's 19th birthday party and they are elated to finally hug each other.
113 notes · View notes