#they're all so cute help..

[cyellolemon]

The Detective Boys!!! sillies :3 also happy Haibara day <33

[starcurtain]

Even leaving aside the obvious ship bait here, this is one of the best examples of character comedy Hoyo has posted in a long time.

The fact that Jade sends Aventurine a bunch of rocks just knowing that his incredible luck will allow him to suss out, without even cutting the stones, exactly which ones are worth processing is funny as hell.

The fact that Aventurine is actually able to answer and picks out the rocks that contain high value jade without hesitation is absolutely hilarious.

Bro is out here using his blessing from a goddess to play blind-box prize games. This is like finding out X-Men's Professor X uses his telepathy to order pizza.

Do you think people ever call Aventurine like "Hey man, is my new relationship going to work out?"

And Aventurine's just over here as the divination champion of Pier Point going "Signs point to no, friend. The vibes are just rancid. Abandon ship ASAP."

And then he trips over his catcake and eats shit because he didn't see it coming.

[lukazade]

These kids are NOT studying rn

[feroluce]

Had the cutest realization last night- so there's a saying we have in English meaning to get something done by any means necessary. It specifically includes dishonest methods, such as violence or lying. So when you're willing to resort to that kind of thing to achieve your goals, you say you're going to do something

"by hook or by crook"

[bitchfitch]

I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.

My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.

It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.

[indigos-stardust]

their autism clashes so hard (so do their traumas <3)

[cherchezlafatfemme]

In my daydreams, this is where you lean over me and slap the wall

[juusangatsu]

Awkward-ALOID

Some funny moments from ALKALOID's talk during Starry Stage 4th

[iloveacronix]

Boutta go sleep cuz my brain be lacking neurons rn but guys PLEASE hear me out

Supportive brothers for life. Also taggin the historyshipping queen @kyokittymeow

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.

I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.

How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?

And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.

I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.

[sysig]

A very normal scientist doing very normal gene splicing experiments (Patreon)

[elizabethrobertajones]

What I am getting from the new short story is that Wuk Lamat needs a hot shetona girlfriend who juuust superficially resembles Erenville in some ways to make him kind of uncomfortable but never enough to actually say something to anyone.

Also, she is basically the chosen one of the jock lesbian orange cat type guys, born to it in a way Alisaie had to fight and scrape to achieve :')

[royalarchivist]

Pac: You– you're going away? Going to die?

Mike: Yeah.

Pac: Goodbye, Mike.

Mike: I tried, I tried guys. Goodbye everyone, thank you guys.

Pac: I'll see you tomorrow.

Mike: I love you guys, you are all awesome.

Pac: Love you, dude. [To Chat] This ending was strange, holy sht dude… Ah! He was talking to Chat, not me! [Embarrassed laugh] Ah, so cringe... Damn, what the sht.

[wayfinderships]

As nice as it is to be like wow I'm so lucky to have f/o(s)! You also gotta remember that your f/o(s) feel the exact same way! They feel so fortunate to have you by their side and often think to themselves I'm so lucky to have s/i!

[cerealbishh]

"We're in the exact same place we were before..."

"We are in such a different place. We're communicating, we're- we're listening to each other... We're gonna figure it out, together."

[softquietsteadylove]

How about something we probably haven't had before? The Eternals in ancient Egypt. While the Egyptians were busy treating cats like gods, Thena is trying to secretly populate the Domo with lizards.

"You busy mopin' in here too?"

"I do not mope," Thena corrected as Druig walked in, his black robes dragging behind him. She turned with a frown, "why do you have so many of them with you?"

"Don't ask me, they just-" he gestured, trying to dispel the cats swarming his feet. "Off with ye, y'bastards!"

The cats scattered, off to find their worship elsewhere. The Warrior Eternal couldn't believe how many of them populated the grounds of Egypt's reign. And the creatures were revered--walking signs of godly luck and prosperity, or some such.

"You've made a friend of your own, I see."

Thena looked down at the lizard snoozing in her palm. It was a small thing, but it had slithered up onto her knee without a hint of hesitation. Cold blooded creatures had none of the cautiousness mammals tended to show her. "Perhaps he can sense my distaste for the felines as well."

Druig chuckled, observing the procession from the edge of the pyramid concealing the Domo. "You sure they're not enjoyin' things a li'l too much down 'ere?"

Thena had to smile. "I cannot speak for Makkari. I believe she is thriving, getting the attention she does."

The Goddess herself was being paraded on a dais of all things, despite being able to circle the continent in the time it took the holders to take one collective step. But she waved to her adoring fans, showering her with praise. And of course, the tributes they brought her were her favourite part of their stay in Egypt thus far.

Ajak had ordered her to return everything, or at least leave it in the official treasury so it was available for the peoples' benefit come the time.

"Yeah, she's glowin' like a streak'a lightning," Druig mused, although he had quite a smile on his face as he observed. No matter how bereft of her company he was, he wasn't the type to drag her away from her time of thriving, either.

Thena could sympathise. Gilgamesh wasn't quite as prone to soaking up the attention as the Speedster, and he absolutely couldn't fathom letting mortals carry him instead of walking. But he was also waved to with enthusiasm, praised and adored. His hands held the gift of Ra himself, after all.

Ajak had also ordered Gilgamesh to humour the public, to a degree. Despite his discomfort, she thought that if they wanted to recognise him and Makkari as the beacons of their team this time around then so be it. Makkari and Gilgamesh were warm and mirthful, and perhaps that would encourage this to be a peaceful time for the development of the humans.

"Thena, Druig, what are you doing up here?"

The two Eternals shared a look, as if they were being caught by their mother skipping school. Druig dragged himself to a standing position, arms crossed and hunching as if the gold collar of his robes were weighing him down.

"You should be down there with everyone else," Ajak pointed at the procession. Sersi and Phastos were talking with various leaders of Egypt's developments. "I want this visit to be social for us--and that means everyone."

"I don't see Sprite down there," Thena pointed out with deadly accuracy, even getting a certain look from their Prime.

But Ajak clipped her unruly daughter's statement short, "she's down there. You may not see her, but she is."

"And Kingo?" Druig added, always happy to get himself out of something he didn't want to do.

"Making sure Sprite doesn't wander too far," Ajak elaborated, her voice growing higher as her annoyance increased. She put her hands on her hips, glaring at the two belligerent Eternals. "It's a happy occasion, and we haven't had an attack for days."

Ikaris was on watch regardless. And it wasn't at all because - for once - the humans had no interest in him or his powers, relegating him to 'one who accompanies the holders of Ra'.

Thena found it hilarious that he was acting like a dejected child.

"It's awfully hot," Druig shrugged. "We're still part'a the festivities. Just, y'know, from the comfort of home."

Thena petted her new friend between the prickly peaks atop its head. "He was seeking the shade."

Ajak eyed the Warrior Eternal. "You cannot bring any more of those things onto the Domo."

"I haven't-"

"It can't possibly be anyone else, Thena," Ajak pointed out, and accurately, at that. "They flock to you. And you know they scare Phastos."

"Everything scares Phastos," Druig murmured, although he got a finger snapped in his face for it. He made a face, even leaning back and swaying on his lazy knees. "Fine, fine, we'll go out there and humor the masses, aye?"

"That's all I'm asking," Ajak insisted in her most matronly way. "I finally got Phastos to leave the ship more often, I can't have you two taking over that role."

Thena and Druig both smiled and nodded (the picture of innocence).

Ajak didn't buy it. "Just go."

Druig dropped his smile but did shuffle past her towards the stairs. Ajak looked at Thena, who chose the faster route, turning and leaping off the side of the structure so tall they could see well into the horizon. Ajak rolled her eyes at her most difficult children.

Thena landed steadily, the sand below absorbing much of the shock. It was a high drop, even for an Eternal, but walking the stairs of the temples here took time even one of their lifespan didn't want to waste.

"Why did we build stairs at all if you were just gonna jump out of the windows every time?"

She smiled as the man with Ra in the palm of his hands broke away from the crowd. The farce of a parade continued on without him. "What of your adoring fans?"

"Ah, come on," he fussed, already embarrassed enough. He turned to face them with her, watching Sersi touch the various offerings held out to her, turning them to gold in the blink of an eye. "Ajak told her not to."

"I think she can't help it," Thena laughed faintly. "Ever since we first arrived; she loves the sparkle in their eyes when they see it."

"Who's this guy?" Gilgamesh asked as he slung his arm around her shoulder, leaning against her faintly. He was tired.

"A friend who sought the solace of shade with me," she sufficed to say, still massaging the reptile's spine from side to side.

"Kept her company?" Gil asked the cold blooded creature, who allowed him to tap the top of his head.

"He did." She looked up at him. The sun in Egypt was even more ceaseless here than in their previous homes, she found. And not just ceaseless, but intense.

Gilgamesh blinked as the back of her hand pressed to his cheek. He leaned into it, though. "You feel nice and cool."

"You shouldn't be under the sun for so long," she frowned, feeling his cheek, then his temple and his forehead. "And after you spent all morning breaking and hauling limestone for them."

He shrugged, though. He really was tired; his shoulders looked heavy, like it took great effort for him to raise them. "There's a lot of work to do."

Egypt was evolving rapidly. Of the many civilizations they had seen rise and fall in their time on Earth already, Egypt was likely to prosper and endure. Thena looked at their passing teammates again. "Sersi and Phastos are more than capable of sharing your workload for a day or two."

They were all helping, but Sersi and Phastos were by far having the easiest time with it. Phastos had powers that did the heavy lifting for him, and Sersi could simply turn the slabs of stone into one big seed pod, carry it, and then turn it back to rock once it was placed.

"Maybe."

Thena rubbed Gilgamesh's back, between his weary shoulder blades. "Perhaps you should retire. I'm sure Ajak would understand."

He gave her a smirk. "You mean you want to escort me and my 'injury' back to the Domo so you don't have to be out here for the party?"

"Absurd." Gilgamesh laughed, and so loudly that many turned back to look at them, including their fellow Eternals. But they continued on without him, and Thena smiled at the way his laughter warmed her shade cooled body.

"Y'know, now that you mention it," he postulated, putting his hand to his chin and everything. But there was no containing his bright grin. "I am feeling a bit...whoa!"

Thena laughed as well as Gilgamesh feigned slumping against her shoulder. A human may not have been able to hold him, but he would never drop his full body weight on her without warning, either. "Gilgamesh!"

"Thena, is that you?" he gasped as she started helping him hobble away from the crowd and into the temple. "So weak...I can see the light..."

"You are a terrible actor," she informed him as she got him into the shade.

"Really?" he asked as soon as they were out of sight. "Kingo gave me some tips."

"That was your first mistake."

He chuckled, still with his arm around her as they began walking back to their mothership. "You know Ajak is gonna find him."

Thena looked down at their guest, still lazing in her hand. "If Phastos were not so averse I don't see why I couldn't have one or two. They scurry in of their own accord at least once a day regardless."

"Yeah, and then Phastos gets freaked out, or Sersi thinks it's a rat, and then we have to sweep them out." Gil looked at the little creature again, which opened both layers of eyelids to blink at him.

Thena purred faintly as Gil pressed his lips to the spot where her tiara disappeared into her hair.

"Keep him in my room. Ajak won't think to check there. I'll bring him snacks and stuff."

She angled her head, catching the edge of his jaw with her lips. "Ever a champion of the people."

"Nice try," he brushed off in modesty. His arm drifted from her shoulder to resting his hand at her back. "You are way more important than 'the people' to me."

"You two are bloody disgustin'."

Thena let Druig drag himself past them towards the edge of daylight. "The procession has already passed."

"Well, nothin' I can do 'bout that. Guess I'll head back up-"

"Druig, get outside. You're mingling, and that's that."

Ajak also hustled past them, her deep blue robes breezing behind her petite figure as she all but dragged Druig out with her by the arm. Perhaps in her mission to make Druig more acclimatized to human socializing she had forgotten Thena had also been ordered to 'mingle'.

Gilgamesh nuzzled her hair again, whispering, "I think we got away with it."

Thena hummed, starting up the stairs towards the Domo with him, and their new friend. "Seeing that you both get some rest is more important in this moment."

Gil cupped her hands in one of his, adding to the bed of luxury for the humble lizard. "I think we'll both rest better if you join us."