#they’re so beautiful and funny and smart so they must dare a lot right’ and all their friends were just like staring at them and

[singletales]

“Oh, she’s pretty”

There two sides to that coin.

The odd side of being “attractive” has made its way onto social media.

All my life, I’ve been called pretty.

Being older I can identify the uglier sides of being “pretty”.

From the exploits of men all the way to unwanted and unnecessary attention.

I’ve come to accept it’s not my responsibility to understand others.

People develop an unhealthy attachment to those they view as attractive.

The obsession,

Can lead to strange behaviours.

A need to know, to possess or to tear down.

The need to know can lead people to go out of their way to interact with you.

Whether it be stalking, or befriending your friends in hopes of getting closer to you.

To talking about you, watching you, even the harmless follow on social media.

Simply because, “oh she’s pretty.”

People will try to uncover your race or even give you a race if they believe you must be “exotic”.

Shamelessly try to uncover your background or history in a need to know more n more.

And their are some who when they don’t have the means to know, make their own stories, for comfort.

She should be at my table, in my company, on my boat, in my house…

She should be mine, pretty thing, a trophy.

The need to possess can come from overprotectiveness in every relationship.

Whether it be parents who know how cruel the world can be,

To friends who don’t want to share your time space nor energy.

In relationships it can become toxic and even competitive.

People don’t like when pretty people are more than just pretty.

I think in their minds God has given unfair advantage or too much to one person.

Because how dare you be pretty, educated, secure, smart, great body, loved, funny, well travelled, dream home, car, lifestyle… etc. it’s just too much!

Too much for them to process.

And so, they’ll try to tear you down.

You shouldn’t be pretty on the inside and outside. They’ll try to make you as ugly on the inside as they are.

Don’t let them!

To whom much is given much is expected, Gods given you all this because you are meant to be a good steward of it.

So they look for faults, eagerly.

They don’t care if it’s illogical, they don’t care if they look stupid for obsessing over someone they don’t know.

Because as far as they are concerned everyone must be obsessed with you too.

Often times they’re sadly right.

Unattractive people will find others with similar experiences and angers towards what they determine to be too goood to be true.

Have you ever heard someone say “I love when bad things happen to rich people.” Or complete indifference because they deem the affected person better off than them.

“If me did look like you…” etc. “That a rich people business”.

Then there are those who secretly compete with you.

This can happen even in your own relationship. These things can also be positive of course but there are times they are negative.

There are people who will go out of their way to try to steal your life from right under your nose.

There are others who try to tear you down whether to ruin your image with gossip, sex tapes, pregnancy, negligence and sabotage… etc.

So yes,

There are negatives.

Next time you think of pretty privilege ask yourself.

Does she sacrifice her time to look this way?

Did she really want to get the job based on looks?

Does she like all the attention?

Did she choose, to be pretty?

And even if she did.

What business is it of yours?

How does her appearance affect your life or life goals.

She is just another human, another one of Gods masterpieces.

Look on, comment if so compelled, but do not fixate.

We would loose so much time if we fixated on a sunset, a mountain, a butterfly.

Why fixate on her because she’s pretty.

Her blood is also red and she isn’t more than you.

Rewire your brain to love and respect yourself.

Reclaim your time and thoughts, be a light and share in joys.

For all it’s worth, and it’s worth a lot.

It’s inner beauty that really counts.

[queenangella]

i honestly love fics with oblivious main characters there’s just,, something about knowing exactly what’s happening but having the mc draw such wrong conclusions,, the epitome of humor tbh. comedy gold

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

Hey 👋

How are you?

Could I please request a king Arthur prompt when he first starts courting his partner but originally they cant stand him like they think hes too cocky but he worms his way into their heart 🥰

Pairing: King Arthur x F! Reader

Warnings: 18 + for language, a little angst.

Masterlist 

The Queen 

“Arthur, you could have any girl in the entire realm at your fingertips; why did you have to choose this one?” Wet Stick sighs, watching from under his cloak and cursing his friend for his taste in women. “He couldn’t just pick one of those nice noble ladies; he had to pick a headstrong girl with a chip on her shoulder,” he grumbles to himself. 

You locked up the shop behind you and take off home, turning once to wave into the shadows knowing the knight is there watching. He emerges on a large brown horse, coming to walk beside you. “Good Evening, Sir Tristan; how was your day today?” you smile up at him, and he laughs with a shake of his head. 

“How do you always know where I am, my Lady?” You reach into your knapsack and pull out a warm cheese roll wrapped in cloth, handing it up to him. “Thank you, ma’am,” he unwraps it and takes a large bite, moaning at the taste. “Is this why he wants to marry you? Because of how delicious your baking is? Honestly, if the King weren’t enamored with you, I’d probably ask you myself,” he laughs. 

You groan, pulling your green cloak above your head. “Sir Tristan, how many times must I ask that you call me by my name? I am no lady, just a baker, no one special.” 

“The King would disagree.” You cringe and walk a little faster towards the warmth of your cottage. “He thinks you’re the most beautiful maiden in the entire Kingdom, and Arthur always gets what he wants, and that’s you, my lady.” You stop and glare at him; he holds his hands up in defense using your name. 

“Why would I want that cocky, overbearing brute of a man to marry me? He can go to hell for all I care.” Tristan doesn’t take offense like other knights because he knows how overbearing his friend can be. It’d been amusing to see Arthur fall for the beautiful, headstrong woman. Every flower ended up in the trash, letter burnt, and request for an audience denied. Arthur was close to giving up on courting the woman, but something was holding him back. 

“Have I ever told you what he was like growing up?” You roll your eyes, already dreading the tale that is sure to highlight only the King’s good points. 

“No,” you mumble, “but I’m sure it some heroic tale.” He barks out a laugh, and you stop to watch him, “what’s so funny?” 

“What do you know about the King? Honestly, tell me,” he jumps down from the horse and grabs the reins walking beside you. “Because if that’s your opinion, then you don’t know him at all.” 

You think about all you know about the King and realize with an ache in your belly that you didn’t know much about the King besides the rumors you’d heard. “Well,” you stumble, “he’s arrogant...uhm, he doesn’t care about anyone but himself...and,” you struggle to come up with something else, much to Tristan’s amusement. 

“Arthur was raised in a brothel,” you pause, raising a brow, “I’m telling the truth. When his parents were murdered, he floated down the river in a boat and was found by the prostitutes washing their clothes by the river. They took him in and raised him. He, in turn, grew up and protected them. The brothel was one of the only places in all of Londinium that women were treated with respect. If someone got too handsy with one of the girls, Arthur would beat them within an inch of their life before they’d even think to disrespect a woman like that. Then he’d take all their money and give it to the girl.” 

“He’s also really smart, smarter than the lot of us, at least. He had coffers hidden in the wall of the brothel behind a bookshelf. He dreamed of getting out and buying himself a piece of land, building a home. The girls would all be taken care of and wouldn’t have to be prostitutes anymore. He was damn close too before we found out he was the born King.” You mull over his words and keep walking closer towards your home. 

“How did he feel about becoming the born King?” you ask quietly. 

Tristan smiles, rubbing the snout of his horse affectionately. “He hated it. Didn’t want anything to do with the sword or being King. It wasn’t until he saw his friends being attacked, the Black Legs had us surrounded, outnumbered; there was no way we could win the fight. Arthur begged us to run away, that he was what they wanted, he was ready to die for us. Arthur embraced Excalibur and killed them all, saving us. He’s loyal to a fault that one. Then when Back Lack-” he takes a shuddering breath, and you reach out and rub his arm. 

“If it’s too painful, you don’t have to say.” He wipes at his eyes with his cloak and smiles at you. 

“No, I won’t let his memory fade because it makes me sad to talk about him. Back Lack was our friend, and Vortigern murdered him in front of his son and Arthur. Blue screamed, and I can still hear his wails in my head; Arthur took his son in and has become like a father to him.” You think of the young boy who follows behind the King and smiles. 

You reach the door of your cottage and put your hand on the knob, dropping your head to the door with a sigh. “What does he say about me?” you ask, turning to look at the Knight, “I know he’s must have told you why he is trying so hard to court me.” 

Tristan smiles, seeing the small crack in your cleverly crafted armor. “While you may not know the King at all, he knows everything about you. I dare say he’s in love with you.” 

You search his eyes for any lie and sigh, opening the door and stepping inside. “Wait here for a moment, please,” he nods, and you close the door behind you. Emerging a few moments later in one of your clean dresses and a light blue cloak of fine fabric the King had gifted you, too delicate for you to throw into the trash. “Take me to him, please,” you ask, pulling the cloak over your head. 

“Yes, my lady,” Tristan smiles, mounting his horse and reaching a hand out to pull you up behind him. He rides swift to the looming gates of the palace, and the heavy wooden doors creak as they’re pulled open. The hour is late, and there is only a handful of guards around watching you with a curious expression. You slide off the horse and follow closely behind Tristan as he weaves through the labyrinth of hallways before reaching a large door. He knocks out a combination, and Arthur’s voice comes from inside asking you to enter. 

Tristan stands back and gives your hand a squeeze, “good luck. I promise he’s worth it.” You smile, trembling, and give him a return squeeze. You watch his back retreat and take a deep breath before turning the handle. 

“Did she get home alright, Stick?” You follow his voice, stepping around the chair and looking down at him. He’s writing a letter, the quill moving across the page, a half-full glass of wine on the table to his left. “She didn’t see you, right? You know how much she detests having a guard.” 

“She didn’t make it home okay,” you say quietly, but he jumps anyways, looking up at you with wide eyes. “But she did find her way safely to you, my King.” He rises from his chair and stands tall beside you, gazing into your eyes, and for the first time, you see past the facade of the King he’s created and instead see the man, Arthur. 

“Are you well, my darling?” he asks, cupping your cheek; you close your eyes and lean into his touch. His smile is bright enough to rival the sun, and you smile back at him just as brightly. 

“I learned about you tonight, my King,” he furrows his brow, “Sir Tristan was telling me tales of how you became King.” 

He grins, “And what did he tell you?” He pulls away, pouring a second glass of wine and handing it to you. He takes your hand and leads you over to the roaring fire, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of it. You take a sip of the wine and put down the glass, climbing into his lap and putting your head against his shoulder. His hand comes up to wrap around your waist, keeping you snug to his side, putting down his glass of wine, and putting the other hand in your lap. 

You roll his fingers between your hands, feeling the callouses from years of fighting coarse against your skin. He leans his head against your own, and you can feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek. “He told me about you growing up in the brothel, how you protected those women, and their honor. He told me how you begged them to leave when the Black Legs came, and only when your friend’s lives were threatened did you finally wield Excalibur.” 

You sit up and look him deep in the pools of blue that are his eyes, lowering your voice to almost a whisper. “He also told me about Back Lack and Blue. How you’ve become like a father to him,” you trail off, looking down at his hand in your own, “he said you love me.” You look up and catch the storm in his expression, the showers of tears that threaten to fall as he’s reminded of his lost friend. 

You cup his cheek and brush your fingers beneath his eye collected them like diamonds. “He died because of me because I wasn’t able to protect him.” 

“It wasn’t your fault,” you whisper. He takes a shuddery breath, and you hold on to him with both hands, keeping his eyes on you. “You did the best you could; you are raising his son. He wouldn’t blame you for what happened.” 

He tugs you closer, and your foreheads touch, “he would have liked you,” he gives a watery chuckle. “He’d have loved your baking, the way you stand up for yourself, and call me out on my bullshit.” You laugh, and he leans closer, “Tristan was right.” 

“About what?” the ghost of his lips brushes yours, and you gasp at the touch. 

“I love you,” you pull back a little, “I love how strong you are, loyal, fierce, and fucking stunning. You are everything I could ever ask for, and I know I came on too strong. I pushed you away when all I wanted was to hold you close like this. From the moment I saw you, spoke to you, the moment you chucked a rolling pin at my head, I knew.” 

You cringe at one of the more colorful visits you had with the King. “What? What did you know?” 

“That you are much more than a baker.” He nuzzles his nose against your own, and you give a breathless reply, begging him to tell you what you are. His lips touch yours slowly, just barely touching, and your eyes slide closed, moving closer to him when he whispers, “you’re my Queen.” 

Taglist: @chicken-ona-stick @agirllovespancakes @ghostwiththemostbitch @the-purity-pen @paintballkid711 @wasicskosgirl @fantasticcopeaglepasta @sarahjkl82-blog @boxdyeblonde @rosiefridayrogersunday @yeah-seems-legit  @mimimi-stuff  @ladyblogger-margie @memyselfandellasworld @peterhollandkait @itspdameronthings @emmy626 @luv-nd-serenity @randomness501  @littlebopper96 @alexmarie29 @hell-is-my-second-home666 @thisshipwillsail316 @madslorian @no-droids-on-sunday @glixxr @sfr99 @pedro-pastel @we-can-be-himbos  @sleep-tight1 @sarhabee @its--fandom--darling @im-an-adult-ish @princess76179 @demoncrypt1066@lunarthoughts @jedi-mando @idreamofboobear @aerolanya @rebelliouscat @veracruz-djarin @marvelprincess1994 @thirstworldproblemss @spacelatinoss  @martellthemandalor @kesskirata @waatermelon-sugaar @jitterbugs927 @helga1031  @greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal @oldstuffnewstuff @yespolkadotkitty @heythere-mel @justanotherblonde23 @artsymaddie @anetteaneta @aellynera @lucifer- @houseofthirst @phoenixhalliwell

[oingo233]

Rapture is a Boy

Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior?  And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?

Young Remus Lupin x Reader

Warning: some angst sprinkled into this one, get ready for loads of it later, bitches like em’ sad, it’s me, I’m bitches.  Also, there are some cuss words, nothing too bad though. Self-doubt, cheating is mentioned.

 Authors note: I try to keep my writing(self inserts) gender, body type, ethnicity and house neutral/not specified.  If I ever slip up please let me know so that I can change it. Remus’s/3rd POV is italicized, it switches back and forth briefly to better show the relationship and luv. Ahhh to be in love with Remus fricken Lupin....

Word Count: 2.6

Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

                                                       Part One

                                 **** Paper Skies and Butterflies **** 

It was so hard to focus with the most tantalizing pair of eyes burning into my back. I’ve felt them from the second my professor started to drawl on about the “rich history of muggles and witches” at the very beginning of class, it was now nearing the end  He was currently speaking passionately about the Witch Burnings. I can hear James, Sirius and Remus chatting quietly here and there but never once have those eyes of his left the back of my head. 

Remus, your boyfriend was admiring the piece of apparel you stole from him in a rush this morning, one of his favorite sweaters. He almost curses himself for not giving it to you sooner, he thought you looked beautiful.  

I try to focus on the lesson at hand “and as you all know, Wendelin the Weird was burned at the stake 47 times.  All in, of course, all in a different disguise.  No muggle will outsmart a witch everyone, especially not after my class...” He chuckles to himself smartly and this time I do turn back to Remus who rolls his eyes in response to the teacher, he breaks out into a huge grin as I try to hide my laughter.

I wish I could have heard the joke James just told because all 3 boys burst out laughing, only for the Professor to give them a mean look.  Remus apologies for the three and they all shrug ‘cooly’ to one another when the class won’t advert their eyes, and continue conversation.  I scoff to myself in a laugh of disbelief and wonder, how they’re able to stay so aloof and smart is beyond me.  But I’ve spent enough study nights with the whole gang in the library to know that they are more like hard workers than they let on.  They’re, in Sirius’s words exactly “...not daft pricks.  Just pricks here and there, ya know to spice up the ancient bore that is this school.”

The class is now more on-edge after the Professors mood was slightly damped, and it was for this same reason I decided to fully commit myself to paying attention.  But I was finished before I started, his eyes were back on me and now the smile Remus reserved just for me, as all lovers have one, is an image that won’t leave my trap of a mind.  I gave up trying to pay attention long before, but a tickle on my cheek brought me back to life with new curiosity.

There, fluttering in front of my face is a beautiful origami butterfly. It lands briefly on my nose and my friend beside me began to giggle, she watched as Remus had his wand out and was instructing the little thing on where to go. His tongue stuck out in concentration but there was a ghost of a smile as he watched me laugh softly. My friends constantly envied our relationship, because they admired moments like these.

The butterfly soars down to my desk and lands, showing off it’s snow white wings before dropping and unfolding itself before me. 

You look extra beautiful today.  Must be that dazzling sweater you’re wearing. Who would have thought you have such wonderful taste?

-R

I giggle and blush at every sweet word, and yes even the arrogant remark about himself, because it is both funny and rare when he subtly appreciates himself.  I just wish he could be as sincere in loving himself as he is to me.

Remus watches you as your blush and smile deepen in vibrancy each time you re-read his note.  He could not contain his adoration if he tried, and it was his bright smile in your direction that caught the Professors attention.  He watched with narrowed eyes, words still falling from his mouth about wizard and muggle interactions in History.  He watched as you smirked, licked your lips, and leaned forward over a piece of paper.  You flipped it and wrote a few words on the back before muttering a charm. He started to walk towards you, Remus watched with horror.  He tried to signal to you but it was too late.  You turned the paper into the shape of a star and it went darting into Remus’s direction.  A shooting star.

The class fell awfully quite as I spun around with a devilish smile to see Remus’s reaction, but instead I was met with my professor towering over Remus and prying the note from his hands.  

“No, sir-” The professor grunted and Remus spared you a quick look, you shook your head looking desperate.  He turned back to your teacher and yanked the note back with a charming smile.  “It’s just silly notes, Sir, really,”  The class waited, everyone held their breath.  When was the last time Remus denied so openly?  Pranks.  Yes, common business.  But this open act of defiance over something as trivial as a note is a rarity from the Remus Lupin.

“Just a silly note then, huh?  Wouldn’t mine me peaking at it then, huh, Mr.Lupin?”  The teacher stared him down with bitter eyes, I looked at the pair and shrunk down while I spoke.

“S’ alright.” I laugh nervously.  Remus hesitantly hands the note over and my face goes red.  There was no way I’d let Remus get detention for a silly note, but I might just with the contents inside.  I hoped on everything good and holy that he would read it quietly.  Not in his head.  And not out loud.  But luck was laughing and pointing fingers at me today.  

“You look extra beautiful today...” The Professor glanced at me from down his nose and under his glasses.  “...must be that dazzling sweater your wearing.  Who would have thought you have such wonderful taste.”  He cleared his throat and Remus smiled softly at me.

“She does,” Remus interjected, I hear some of my friends “awe” and Sirius made a gagging sound, James had half his hand in his mouth trying to stifle his laughter.  As if he hadn’t been caught saying more embarrassingly sweet things to Lily. I smile back to Remus, but he titled his head in confusion, his smile faltering slightly, my ‘grin’ came out as more of a grimace.  

Did he embarrass you?  He thought in horror.  But then the professor turned the note to your side and when he started to read Remus knew exactly why your face was flushed and your head hung like a beaten dogs.

“Very dazzling indeed, though I think you’d prefer it-” He once again cleared his throat and now he too, was blushing.  “Prefer it off of me.  I’ve been thinki-”

“Right Professor, I don’t think that was for you.  Quite pedophilic if ya ask me.”  Remus fights his own chuckle and mortification, and tries his best to protect you from the onslaught of laughter and embarrassment.  The loudest being the howling cackles of Sirius and James. The professor burned red, and grumbled under his breath, shoving the note into Remus’s chest.  He quickly pockets it.

I am half packed and ready to run seconds before the bell rang out.  I burst past the doors like a bat out of hell and only turn when I hear the joyous laughter of Remus.

“And I thought I ought to be embarrassed bout what I wrote,” He hugged me as I whined into his chest, inhaling his scent and reveling in the calmness it gave me after mortifying chaos.

“Bugger off...” I say, he hugs me closer and lets me bury my still very hot face into his neck, hiding from the whispers of others.  “awww.” He hid his chuckles with a kiss to my hairline, but I heard the bastard. I glare at his chest but soften as he squeezes me tight, when a particularly rude laugh echoes through the halls.  

He was greatly enjoying the comedy of it, though he wishes it was not at your expense. If it made you feel any better he’d later show you how much he enjoyed your full message to him.  “s’ alright love, they’ll have better, more nonsensical things to chat about by the end of lunch.” He says in an attempt to make you feel less anxiety about it all.

 I nod at his words, and emerge from his hug with a laugh of my own, hoping it’ll drown out my mortification.  But that did not last long.

“What ‘ave ya been thinking of again, (y/n)” James rushes out, as if he’s had it planned since the note was read aloud.  He burst into laughter again and Sirius was right beside him, hand clutching his shoulder for support as he just managed to get a remark of his own in.

“Yeah, m’ surprised to see ya still have that sweater of yours on.” Sirius barks out, James doubles over now and Remus pushes the two away. 

“You’re pricks, the both of ya.” You four walk down the corridors and though they’re taking the piss out of ya, the 3 boys glare at anyone else who dares to look down at you or call you names.  

Today was one for the burn book of course, but I couldn’t help but to enjoy Remus’s warm hand in mine, and the lightheartedness of the group today.  For the rest of the evening we met up with Peter and Lily and ‘studied’ which really just became an event of who could make the others laugh the hardest, and who can best re-tell the events of History class for Peter and Lily. It felt as if the sun had worked its way into the room, and shone brightly on the lot of us.  Filling us all with warmth and joy. I’ve enjoyed today so much because lately I’m beginning to notice quite an inconsistency in our happy times together.

Remus is very open with me, or at least I always chose to believe such nonsense.  I look at him now, illuminated by the common room fire, head thrown back in laughter, shoulders shaking up and down, the flames light dancing across his scars.  I’ve never seen something so beautiful.  And I’ve never felt something so beautiful, so all-consuming and passionate as our love.  I look at him now and want to believe that things are going well between us, but they simply aren’t.  

Tomorrow may be like this again, pure bliss infused with some normal teenage drama.  Maybe it will be this great even, for a full week.  But soon, he will begin to grow distant from me.  He will become quieter, and more aggravated towards Snape and others, he’ll pull away from all but James, Sirius, and Peter.  But then, those boys too will get distracted, acting weird. Leaving Lily and I to observe and ponder the behavior of the boys, and degrade ourselves quietly as to why they seem to isolate themselves from us.

Sometime soon... it will happen, it always happens.  But it never annoyed me to the extent that it has recently until Lucy Diamond, a Witch a grade below us, who started to walk occasionally with Remus in the halls, or to breakfast and flirting. Oh god, the constant flutter of giggles and laughter from the two made me sick. Half the time they’re interactions were brief, but sometimes I’d catch him share a smile with her and spark a long interesting debate about something or humor their conversations in other ways that made my head spin.   

Lily assures me that it is just basic human kindness, but she too will glance in confusion at the pair some nights at dinner.  Just the thought of Remus cheating on me, makes my throat dry up and my stomach shrivel up and drop with it. 

                                                     **** 

Remus was pulling away from me again.  We walked in silence with the others chatting around us, his eyes were on the moon’s powdered appearance in the still baby blue sky.  It was only mid-day.  I squeezed his hand and followed his gaze.

“S’ almost a full moon. Beautiful isn’t it?” I smile up at him, he smiles almost sadly down at me, nodding, god I didn’t think it was that bad of an attempt to converse. But then his smile grows and he looks straight into my eyes as he says...

“I’ve seen prettier things in my lifetime.” I laugh, and he can’t help his small chuckle at my blush.  He told be it looks beautiful but  personally I’ve never liked the whole tomato look. I lean into his side more and bump into him with my hip.  He bumps me back and we giggle like school girls through the hall.  

Then Snape walks by.  Oh Snape, must you be such a dick all the time.

He shoulders into me roughly, if it weren’t for the way Remus held onto me, I would have fallen over.

“Don’t you have eyes Snape, or is the view from so far up your arse blocking everything?”  Remus all but growls, we’ve all turned around to face Snape.  I tug on Remus’s hand to signal for us to go, I’ve never liked the way Snape and the boys are with one another.  But Remus lets go of my hand and steps forwards.  Snape sneers down at me.

“I thought whores enjoy being touched. Excuse me (y/n) if I wasn’t rough enough for your liking, I’ll do it much harder next time,” He drawls out smugly, his friends behind him laugh.  It was clear he was referencing my very inappropriate note to Remus last week. I burned hot from both anger and embarrassment, I went to defend myself but the voices of all our friends cut me off, beating me to it.  And then there was utter silence.

Remus was hunched over, his knuckles already turning red.  By his feet lays Snape, crouched on the floor, holding his nose, but not even the make-shift dam of his fingers could stop the flow of blood.  

“Bastard! You prick,” Snape hissed, already grabbing for his wand, Remus fisted his hands again and from the corner of my eye I see James whip out his own wand discreetly, Sirius already toe to toe with one of Snape’s goons. Lily ready to spar as well, her own wand gripped tightly in her hand. Peter stood behind us, his fingers twitching and he’s eager to pounce.

  But nothing happened. Because the bell rang and students filled the hall, hardly sparing any of us a glance despite the blood on the floor.  Snape points his wand at Remus

“You better hope you never see me again Lupin, next time I’m coming straight for you.” 

“It’s a small school, I’m looking forward to it.” Remus spits out through gritted teeth. Remus and Snape stare at one another for a long time, and with baited breath I think maybe not even the crowd around us will stop them.  Remus looks so angry.  I walk softly behind him and slide my hand over his shoulder, and take his hurt hand softly with my own.

“Lets go, my love,” I whisper into his ear.  He relaxes only slightly, tugging my hand he leads us out of the halls and rushes me to the entrance of my class before running off without a word.  His breathing was rough the whole time, and I watched as Lucy’s eyes follow his figure, and then she is off, racing after him. To calm him down no doubt. My heart turned into slabs of stone and fell down to my toes.   

Lily no doubt saw the expression on my face, she walks up to me slowly.

“You should talk to him. No use letting it build up, yeah?”  She urges me sweetly, squeezing my shoulder before walking into class. I stare down the hallway long after they are out of sight, I wonder where they have gone?  I wonder if they are alone?  I shake my head and decide to take Lily’s advice, I will talk to him about it all tomorrow. 

                                                         ****

 Now I love Lily dearly, and I’m not saying any of what happened next was her fault. In all and every sense, it was my own fault.  But the party we threw the night before all hell broke lose, was definitely her idea.  And it definitely heavily influenced what I did next....

[lady-literature]

no point wishing on stars

aka the jasonette aladdin au literally no one asked for

This is a great big amalgamation of semi-canon miraculous, batman and a heavy dose of bastardized Aladdin but here we go-

The story goes like this:

Jason is our beloved street rat turned prince Boy Wonder and billionaire’s son (not that he’s gotten that far yet).

Marinette is Ladybug, is the Guardian, is our modern-day Jasmine. She’s next in line after Fu to lead the Order, which, I suppose, is like High Royalty for superheroes/magic users.

But before she can take her rightful place, she needs a partner by her side. It’s so stupid rule that says she, as a Ladybug, needs a Black Cat by her side in order to be properly balanced.

The only problem is, she doesn’t want one. Or, well. More accurately, it’s that she doesn’t like the ones offered to her, and she doesn’t quite like the idea of being tied to someone she barely knows, especially not at fourteen.

There have been many Black Cat candidates to cross her path but there has been only one she did not immediately veto. Adrien Agreste may be a Black Cat, but he cannot be hers. He will never be anything more than her dearest brother, and that is not what Creation needs.

Creation and Destruction—life and death—have a certain type of relationship. They are lovers, mated and married in every meaning of the word.

And, for as much as she loves and adores Adrien as her brother in her soul, they will never be like that. She will never want him the way she must should he take up Destruction.

So yeah. Marinette has a problem. And yeah, she has some time to figure it out, but the Order is looking to have her figure it out sooner rather than later. Adrien is a good place holder for now, but if Marinette doesn’t choose a Black Cat by the time she’s twenty-one, Adrien will either have to do, or she forfeits her crown and the Ladybug miraculous (which she would never do, she loves her people and Tikki too much to ever do that).

(wait? Does this mean I made Adrien the human equivalent of Raja?… yes. Yes it does.)

And, to spice this up just a bit more, let’s say Hawkmoth is Jafar, yeah? This little shit is really trying to push his son to be the next Black Cat because he wants power what’s best for his son. So he be out here sabotaging potential Black Cats because he’s an asshole his son is the best candidate at the moment. He could give less than two shits about if Mari and Adrien actually like each other that way, he will shove his son at her until she has no choice but to choose him.

Anyway, so Mari leaves the temple one day. Which is fine, she’s not trapped there or anything, she can come and go as she pleases! (she may have to normally take someone with her and is currently ignoring that rule perhaps, but that’s besides the point!)

So she’s at a market in Gotham, strolling down the street, having a good time enjoying being around normal people, when she notices a boy getting into some trouble.

(I’ll give you three guesses as to who it is and the first two don’t count.)

Jason was stealing from market vendors because the hubbub of the street is distracting and nicking a few scraps here and there is practically child’s play. Only, he miscalculates.

One vendor was paying more attention than he thought.

Mari’s across the street and sees the whole thing. Sees the vendor grab Jason’s hand in a bruising grip and snarl in his face.

She’s in between the pair before she even realizes it, mouth already opening around some made-up story about ill-advised dares and how ‘it won’t happen again, sir’ and ‘here, I’ll pay for that right now, no harm done!’

Jason stares at her utterly baffled and, thankfully, silent until after she’d already grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

Only, she pulls him away down the wrong alley. (Look. Mari’s a real sweet-talker and knows how to smooth ruffled feathers, but she is hardly street smart.)

Jason swears, and it’s the first words she’s heard him speak, and then it’s him tugging her along. Up a fire escape and over the rooftops because Jason likes to think he’s tough, but there’s no way he’s picking a fight with five guys bigger than him and wearing masks.

He likes to keep his heart beating more than he wants to keep his pride unharmed thank you very much.

They end up on a rooftop, panting and like, seven blocks away. Marinette is now very lost and with a strange boy who she doesn’t know. He seems… nice, and she’s a good judge of character, but that doesn’t mean much when they’re still very much strangers.

But then the two just look at each other and suddenly they’re both laughing.

And that, my friends, is the start of a beautiful friendship.

***

During those first few months, she and Jason just seem to click.

Mari starts leaving the temple more and more to meet up with Jason, and on more than one occasion dragging behind her a picnic basket bigger than her. (it’s stupid to let one of her friends starve just because he’s too prideful to take her food. So she plans lots of picnics for them both, and pointedly ignores the way he eats and hoards most of the food she brings.)

He is her friend—though she would be lying if she said she didn’t like him a bit more than what one would consider friendly.

And Jason, who is funny and kind and made sharp by the life he’s been forced into, likes her right back. She is one of the few great parts of his life, a bright spot in the darkness he has called his world for so long, and there are few things he wouldn’t do for her.

It’s… scary—just a bit—how important she is to him.

He tries not to think about it too much.

And it doesn't really matter anyway, because she is good and bright and amazing and he is… there’s nothing he can give her in return. Nothing good, anyway.

She deserves someone better. Someone who could buy her things as pretty as her and take her nice places.

Someone who isn’t a street rat.

And then he learns she’s Ladybug, right up there with Wonder Woman and Robin and all the other amazing people set on saving the world, and he feels he got that much farther from her. How can he ever compare?

Jason doesn’t wish, because wishing is childish and he learned too young that shooting stars don’t exist and he’s come to terms with the fact that this is his life years ago, all right? He doesn't need the burden of hope to weigh him down now.

(but perhaps, deep down, tucked away in the corner of his heart, there might be a thought. Small and scared and aching, he might think, ‘if only I could be there with her, if only i could fly with her, maybe then I’d be enough’)

Six months after he meets Marinette, Jason comes across the Batmobile.

His first thought is, this can’t be real.

His second is, I could buy Mari a real birthday gift with this.

His third thought is less of a thought because he’s already got two tires off by that point and then suddenly Batman is there and Jason is swinging his tire iron.

This then leads—somehow—to him winding up at Wayne Manor with Bruce Wayne and then he learns about Batman and Robin and he gets to be Robin and-

(and what else is a Robin meant to do but fly?)

It’s too good to be true. Wishes don’t come true and good things don’t happen to him unless their name be Marinette but… but Jason’s here and it’s not a dream. He’s no prince but, well… he thinks this might just be as close as you can get.

And, okay. He really does try with the whole secrecy thing, because he can understand why that’s important but, I mean… it’s Marinette, who is Ladybug. There really was never any chance of Jason keeping that particular secret, Batman or no Batman.

And about,,, two years pass like this ig. Mari is almost seventeen now, and Jason turned seventeen recently and the pair are getting closer and closer every day. They’re toeing the line of ‘more than friends’ but neither have really taken that next step. 

The pressure is on Mari from the Order because she’s getting older and as much as she likes Jason, knows him but he isn’t a good candidate for Destruction and Mari must think of her people first.

Jason doesn’t get to be hers to keep and that aches but what else is she meant to do? She cannot—does not—want to change him in any way. So they stay, in their strange little limbo, with neither making a move.

And then, the unthinkable happens.

Hawkmoth hears of the boy finally, and is, obviously, furious.

He doesn't care if this boy can be a Cat or not, he’s going to ruin all his plans. So, there’s only one solution. He needs to get rid of him.

(i’ll give you three guesses as to how and the first two don’t count!)

Robin—Jason—dies, and Marinette feels when he does. She doesn’t know why or what happened, but the moment he leaves the world her blood turns cold and she feels sick.

Jason hasn’t even looked at the ring and already Marinette could feel the thread that had begun to tie them together. When she hears of his death—when she learns that he’s gone—Marinette shatters.

She shatters and cries and the world tips just a little, with the force of her sorrow, with the agony of her screams.

(justice is blind, yes, but is she deaf? Can she deny the sobbing of such a being as Creation herself? Can she stand, unfeeling, before the agony she has wrought?)

Marinette does not bring Jason back to life… but she has done something close. Has opened the possibility. Is, perhaps, the reason that six months later he screams and claws and drags himself from his own grave.

He is wrong wrong wrong, but he is also alive.

The league finds him, as they must. And Talia throws him into the pits, as she must. And Jason is reborn, screaming and angry and violent, as he must.

Marinette had known, Before, that Jason would not be a good match for the ring. He was tough and wild and willing to get his hands dirty if that’s what it took, but that was not what his core was. He was familiar with the rust and decay of back alley streets, but that wasn’t where he belonged. He would throw a punch but he didn’t relish the blood on his knuckles after a fight.

Jason was surrounded by destruction, but that’s not what he was.

Now… now the destruction he spent so long dancing with has slipped through the cracks in his mind left behind by the explosion. It ripped through his skin and slithered through into his veins until it settled in his heart like an overly smug cat.

Death and Destruction are inside him, woven in his ribcage and fusing with his blood, pumping pumping pumping its deadly rhythm and Jason is helpless to deny it’s tune.

Jason is a being of Destruction through circumstance rather than design, but make no mistake, that does not make him less.

(in fact, it may even make him more. To be remade from one’s own destruction is a powerful thing, and to be remade into Destruction? Well. There are few things more… miraculous.)

And we all know the next part of the story right?

Marinette mourns and grows and lives.

Jason rages and learns and plans. He’s come far from that street rat of a boy, and farther still from Marinette's petite oiseau.

But, two years after he comes back, when he ventures back to Gotham for revenge, Marinette takes one look at this angry, violent man calling himself Red Hood and she knows. He’s too familiar, even as he stands before her, more changed than she ever thought possible.

She meets the Red Hood when he comes for the new Robin, sweet little Tim who Marinette had grown to like despite herself. (He is not Jason, and never will be, but the boy was too shy and clever and earnest for her to have remained cold to him just because he wore the same colors once worn by the man she loved.)

She loves Tim in the same way she loves Adrien, simply and wholly and uncomplicated.

And then she is there when Jason comes for him.

Their reunion is not the stuff of fairy tales. It is not the beginning of happily ever after or true love.

Their reunion is a punch in the gut because it doesn't matter that he’s alive—except it does, because Mari has never known she could be so happy and so shattered at the same time—she is farther from him than she’d ever imagined she could be.

She reaches out for him, voice cracking around his name—because who else could this familiar stranger be?—and something in her shatters all over again when he flinches back from her touch.

“No,” he says, and it is a million things at once. He sends one last glare to Tim, who is still behind her, and then he’s gone.

***

Jason tries to avoid her.

Marinette allows this for a whole month before the whispers in the streets and the stories Tim comes back to her with, become too much.

She knows he is angry and out for revenge and building an empire out of the criminals that infest their city, but she doesn’t care. He was gone for two whole years and Marinette is tired of not seeing him-hearing him-touching him.

She has missed him like an ache in her chest and she doesn't care if he hates her or is furious with her, she just wants to see him. She needs to reassure herself that he’s alive, that he’s real.

And, it seems, the universe is on her side in this. In her chest, nestled there in the space next to her heart, there is what she can only describe as a compass, pointing to wherever Jason is like he’s her own personal north star.

The first few times, she’s yelled at or ran off. Or he runs off. Either way, for a while, the only moments she’s close to him are short and aching.

But she doesn’t let him run for long, and she doesn’t let him scare her off as she knows he’s trying to do.

Marinette had always been the more stubborn of the two.

Eventually, like a feral cat learning safety (like a hurt, scared animal relearning love), Jason lets her get close. He lets her in, lets her get close again.

The first time she sees him, without helmet or mask, she flings herself at him. Arms around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist, clutching him like her life depends on it. He takes her weight automatically, hand beneath her thighs while the other wraps around her back just as tightly. (he longs for touch, she has relearned, but he is also so frightened of it. She will have to be brave for them both)

The second time she sees his face bare once more, he is still thrumming with energy from a fight, is still high on the feeling of broken bones and blood on his knuckles. The force in his chest, the clawing and raging thing settled just off-center of the very core of him, pulls him toward her and Marinette meets him halfway, her own bright, ruthless force like a magnet in her chest.

They meet in a clash of hands on skin and lips anywhere they’ll land.

It is the first time they fall into bed together.

It will not be the last.

Now, you may be thinking, ‘Lady! This isn’t very Aladdin at all!’ and to that I tell you: I fucking warned you. What part of bastardized-Aladdin didn’t you get?

Also, shh. This is my favorite part!

So Mari is in her own personal little honeymoon stage, right? She practically could not be happier because Jason is alive and he’s hers and, even if he’s more violent and a crime boss, he’s stopped attacking his family at least. Which is good, because Mari really didn’t like the sad look Tim wore every time he brought up Jason.

And, oh yeah. Through a combination of her own detective work and Tikki, little Mari realizes that Jason is her Black Cat. Is the only person her Black Cat could be, not because of destiny—though that had helped—but because of coincidence and the bond the pair forged themselves.  

So Mari is, obviously, on cloud nine at the moment and she tells Adrien and Fu who are ecstatic for her, and announcements are going to be made the second Mari tells Jason and what could possibly go wrong?

Well, a lot of things really but the first thing is that, basically, Mari is asking Jason to marry her. Just a bit. And while they both know, in that nebulous way they always have, that they love each other, neither of them have ever actually said it.

And also, they aren’t really dating right now either. Mari’s been too busy trying to just get near Jason again that she hasn’t much been paying attention to normal relationship things like dates or labels.

So when she brings it up Jason is… well, caught off guard is likely an understatement. Which then makes Mari realize what exactly she’s just done and- shit. She’s ruined everything and Jason is going to run away again and the compass in her chest is just going to be a reminder of what she can’t have and-

Jason, who only moments before was terrified and in danger of bolting—because this is a lot and magic-marrying Mari comes with responsibilities and rules and a thousand strings he doesn't know what to do with—now stops and stares at her, babbling and so obviously panicked and something in him abruptly settles.

She starts pacing and he grabs her hand when she passes by close enough, reeling her into his body. She comes easily even in her frazzled state and the vicious clawing thing in his chest sighs contentedly.

“Why?” he asks, and it is a million things at once. Why him, why now, why, why, why?

There are a million ways she could answer, but the easiest? The most important answer is simply this: “Because I love you.”

His breath shudders in his chest at her words and her hands raise to settle on his cheek and the back of his neck, a protection of one of the most vulnerable parts of him, and he leans into her touch like a man starved.

Gods, Jason has loved her for years.

He loved her Before and he loved her in the pits, when all he had was the hate they kept stuffing in his chest, and he loves her now. She is his sun and he will spin around her for the rest of his life. But when it all comes down to it, one simple fact doesn’t change:

“I don’t deserve your love.”

Her hands press harder into his skin, like she can force him to understand through touch alone. “If everyone only got the love they deserved no one would be truly loved,” she counters.

“You would,” he says, quick and quiet and honest. Her breath hitches and he watches her eyes go wide. The hands he has on her hips tighten at the emotions he finds there.

“Oh,” she whispers, already pulling him down to meet her. “Oh you stupid, beautiful man.”

And then they’re kissing and- and it is not the first time they’ve done this, but there is something very different about this one.

They’re kissing, and this time, it feels very much like coming home.

***

And, perhaps, that is not the end.

Because there is still one wish left. 

Because Jafar-Hawkmoth is still there, and he’s still murderous, and there a very real chance he’s going to ruin the wedding somehow.

Because there is never truly an end to a story, it just simply stops being told.

But none of that really matters. Our princess and her dearest street rat are together at last, and together they’ll get through whatever happens after the story stops being told.

They’ve always had a thing for impossible odds after all.

[i-growl-growl-growl]

Can you make a NCT U + Ten and Yuta yandere that they are CEOs and their s/o is their secretary who want leave the job ?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Since NCT U is a sub-unit where the members are interchangeable, I included all members that have been in NCT U (from what I found looking it up, that is).

Warning This has Yandere themes. Read at your own risk.

~Ahreum Rhea

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Taeyoung: He’d be pissed off that you’d dare try to leave him. He’s been way too lenient with you and his kitten thinks she has the right to leave. No matter. All he’ll have to do now is discretely make your life hell to where no one else would hire you and you lose everything, including your reputation. He’ll use his connections to make sure that you’ll come crawling back to him after you’ve lost everything and this is when he’d quite literally drag you home, to hell.

“My kitten thinks she can leave. She need to learn your place. You’ll never leave this house, y/n- this is your home now. I’ve owned you since the day you started working for me, you just didn’t know it yet. I always get what I want and you know it. You will obey me, be mine, and do as I say, my fragile little kitten, or I’ll hurt you. It’s not like you’ve got a choice anyway, I can easily arrange the death of a family member or maybe I’ll make you watch as I destroy them with my bare hands. I’ve got a collar with your name on it. Come here kitten, you’ve been very bad.”

Doyoung: He’d honestly miss seeing you dressed up so professionally every day. He loved everything about you, your hard-working nature, your neatly kept and professional look, the ambition and intense focus in your eyes as you work, everything. That’s when he realized that he can’t let you go. He can’t have you working for anyone else. No one else deserves to have the pleasure of being your boss- to have you answering to them- they’ll just take advantage of you! He’ll plot your kidnapping for the rest of the time you’re working there, ultimately deciding to wait until you’ve officially quit to prevent any suspicion. A few days after your resignation, while you were out one night, you get chloroformed by a mysterious person, later waking up in some beautiful house you’ve never seen before.

“Good morning, y/n. Did you sleep well? Anyways, you’re probably wondering where you are and why you’re here. To put it simply, you’re at home- your new home- and you’re here because you’re mine. I couldn’t just let you leave like that and work for some rich and greedy old pig, not when you belong to me; not now and not ever. From now on, this is your home and I’m your bf. Don’t even think of trying to contact anyone unless you want them dead, understood?”

Jaehyun: He influenced you to quit your job after manipulating you for months, convincing you that he was a good man who just wanted to take care of you, which was actually partly true aside from the “good man” part. Winning your heart was a piece of cake since he’d been stalking you since you started working for him. He knew every single thing about you and he just couldn’t wait any longer. As soon as you officially resigned, and made arrangements in your personal life, he brought you home where you’d unknowingly remain, never to be free again.

“Finally, I get to be myself. Do you know how hard it’s been to play the perfect boyfriend? Honestly, it was exhausting! I’ve been waiting for this day for way too long and, finally, you’re exactly where you belong; here, in my house for good. Don’t worry, you’ll be very well taken care of unless you piss me off and, well, you’ll see what happens then. I’ve got the perfect dress for you to wear tonight. Go get dressed and we’ll have dinner. Oh, and, don’t keep me waiting.”

Yuta: He showered you with flirtatious banter and constant attention. He just wouldn’t let up and it had gotten to be too much for you to handle. He was overbearing. You tried to talk to him and tell him that you were uncomfortable, but this only made things worse. He began giving you long and tedious assignments that required you to always seek him out for clarification, approval, guidance, information, or even ‘meetings’ that he claimed were of importance. The last straw came when the office began spreading rumors that you and he were sleeping with him for raises and benefits, thus ruining your sparkly clean reputation. You had officially quit. This pissed him off, of course, and, he kidnapped you after learning about your plan to escape him.

“You seriously thought I’d just let you go?! You thought you could just leave me, just like that?! The only way you’ll leave is in a body bag, kitten. You’re mine and you’re not going anywhere. From now on, you’re my bitch and I own you. Every time you deny me, you’ll earn yourself a punishment, and I love punishments. As much as I’d love to give you pleasure, I’d love nothing more than to see my name carved into your precious y/s/c skin. Seeing you crying and bleeding beneath me- the thought of it turns me on. So, learn your place and learn it fast.”

Ten: He was a clever bastard. He gave you the chance of a lifetime to work for him as his personal assistant, which would paid substantially, and this is how you repay him? By quitting on him? On top of that, you had full benefits and paid vacations. What you came to know was that being his personal assistant actually meant being trapped as his s/o for life. Slowly, everything seemed to fall apart. He told you there were malicious rumors spreading about you behind your back due to jealously, and work started becoming more and more stressful. He even made up lies about your family to push you away from them and work due to exhaustion and depression until you couldn’t handle it anymore. It broke you and all you had left was Ten.

“Ah, jagiya. This just proves that you belong here with me, you didn’t even do anything wrong and this is how they treat you. They’re just jealous because of how much I love you. They wish they were as lucky as you, to be in your position. Don’t worry, you’re in a safe place now. You won’t ever have to work again or do anything except for love me and only me. I’ll take care of everything from now on.”

Mark: Everyone thought he was so nice, so handsome, and so charming, including you. You worked directly with him as a means for him to keep you close by at all times. You didn’t know how twisted and sadistic he could be. You also didn’t know that, on the day of your resignation, you would go missing. He took your resignation terribly, keeping is composure in front of everyone else but, once he’s alone, going batshit crazy, nearly destroying his office and anything else in his path. It happened so fast; as you walked to your car, Mark approached you from behind and knocked you out cold. Upon awakening, you were in a cold and dark basement chained to a bed and began screaming for help.

“No one can hear you,” he says coming down the stairs. “No, I won’t let you go, and no, I won’t unchain you. You’re mine from now on and this is home. I was planning to do this from the beginning, ya know, kidnapping you and all that, but I decided to wait. I’m glad I did because you ended up making this easy for me. Now, no one would suspect me of a thing, and I get to keep my reputation as well as you. Your family must be so worried for you. Oh well. Be a brat and I’ll beat your ass. Talk back, you’ll get smacked. Deny me and you’ll be starved. Got it?”

Lucas: He was very comforting, funny, and adorable in the beginning but, also controlling and downright intimidating. Anytime you’d tell him ‘no’ his eyes would get so dark and sinister. It scared you to come into work sometimes. You knew he had a thing for you, but he also had a thing for all the hot girls in the office, although, they never lasted long. One of them even went missing and you think you knew who was responsible. You’ve finally decided that you’ve had enough but he didn’t take it so well. Actually, he bluntly threatened you, telling you “you won’t be leaving. Not me, anyways. I always get what I want, y/n.” Everywhere you went you were scared- constantly looking over your shoulder. All of a sudden, you were knocked out cold by someone’s fist. You wake up in a strange room, tied to a bed.

“I told you I always get what I want, y/n. You could never leave me no matter how hard you try because I love you too damn much to ever let you go. You’ll never leave my side and you’ll never love or need anyone else but me. I’ll give you both pleasure and pain, and you’ll learn to take both. So small and so cute, it’s no wonder you were so easy to snatch. Those bruises on your wrist look beautiful, little one, I can’t wait to see you wearing my bite marks.”

Jungwoo: Everyone thought he was so sweet and innocent. He even had you fooled. Because of his reputation as being a highly charismatic and reputable CEO, he would be surprised that you’d want to quit. When he found out that he was losing you to one of his competitors, though, he’d be pissed off to say the least. He figured it was finally time to claim you as his, but he’d have to be smart about it. He already knew everything there was to know about you but now he’d use that to his advantage to worm his way into your heart and life. He made you feel like he desperately needed you and that he was a hurt and lonely man who needed your love and care. Which isn’t exactly a lie in his eyes. You began to fall for him after all his special treatment to the point where you trusted him to move in with him after a while, but this is where you slipped from the rest of the world. “You know, y/n, you don’t have to go into work anymore, right? I know I work a lot but I’m starting to feel lonely; you never spend time with me anymore. I miss you so much. I’ll take care of everything from now on, why don’t you just let me love and give to you from now on? I would love nothing more than to treat you like the queen you are. Just promise me that I’m the only one you’ll ever look at..”

Taeil: On the outside he was fine but, on the inside, he was devastated. He tried his best to convince you to stay but when nothing worked, he knew he had to take drastic measures. He had to kidnap you. How could he protect you if you weren’t with him? He couldn’t fathom the idea of you possibly getting hurt or moving on in life without him. Purposefully, he gave you a lengthy assignment that required you to stay at the office long after everyone had left for the day. This caused you to miss the train back to your town, much to the pleasure of Taeil. Thinking it harmless, you accepted his offer to take you home, but you were instead taken to his part of town. You nervously pointed out that he was going the wrong way to which he responded

“I’m not going the wrong way. I’m taking you home- to our home. I’d really prefer if this didn’t turn ugly so just be good and be quiet for now. This won’t turn out well for you if you do otherwise, I promise you that. I can’t let you go, y/n, we belong together, and I will not have you working for anyone else but me. When you quit, I realized that I could easily lose you- I was going to lose you. I won’t have that. You aren’t safe with anyone else, so you’ll be with me from this point forward.”

Kun: Kun made it clear that he was upset with your decision. He must have control and, right now, he doesn’t. What’s worse is that he doesn’t have control over you at this moment; in a short while, he won’t have control over you at all. You became the best thing about coming into work every gosh darn day; to him, you were the flower of the firm, and now, someone else was going to pluck you right from his hands. He found out who your new employer would be, and he made sure to ruin any chances of you securing your new position by spreading fake rumors about you that made it impossible to be hired anywhere else. He made sure to have you desperate to find work, even accepting to be his maid to get by. Little did you know that this ‘job’ was a lifetime commitment as his new s/o.

“Don’t bother going home later, you no longer have one. Actually, this is your home now; I have clothes, under garments, personal items, everything you need. You’ll love me, talk to me, please me, and love only me for the rest of our lives and beyond.”

Jeno: This dark yandere would pull you into his office for a talk. You didn’t know what to expect since you’ve heard mixed information about him varying from him figuratively, and literally, twisting arms and being fair and smooth to get what he wants. So, you didn’t know what to expect as you entered his dark and dimly lit office that you had come to grow accustomed to. Jeno would ask you out to dinner, much to your surprise, saying how he’s always admired your hard work and intelligence, so he wanted to finally ask before it was too late. After dinner, at his restaurant of choice, you began to feel very tired. Your eyes were heavy, and you just couldn’t keep them open, causing you to pass out in the passenger seat as Jeno was driving you ‘home.’ Upon awakening, you’re tied to a bed in a rather luxurious but dark bedroom room. The door opens and in walks Jeno, carrying some pills and a glass of water.

“Everything’s alright, I’ve got you now. I’ll take good care of you, y/n, don’t worry. As long as you’re with me you’ll never want for nothing, so long as you don’t tempt my dark side to come out. I’d hate for you to see that side of me. I can be very pleasant or very…well, maybe you’ll get to find out some time. The only life you have now is with me, so get used to it. Here’s some pills for the headache..take them now.”

WinWin: He would NOT take it well at all. You found out about his obsession with you once he cornered you in his office to confess his love for you- he knew things about you that he couldn’t have possibly known unless he’d been stalking you. Which was exactly what he’d done up to this point. He threatened to destroy your life and that of your loved ones if you did not leave with him that day. He gave you no other option than to sit in his office, right by his side, for the rest of the day until everyone else had left. You were terrified and anxious to find a way out, but he reassured you that any attempts to thwart his plans would result in someone’s life either ending or being ruined. What brought you to tears were the live footages of your friends on his computer.

“You see y/n, I see everything. Absolutely everything and everyone relating to you, so don’t push me to do something terrible. I’d much rather you come with me willingly and be mine than to have to waste time getting my hands dirty. I’ll give you the world in exchange for your love, so I’m being pretty fair with you, but that could change in an instant. If I can’t have you, I won’t allow you to have anyone else, do you understand y/n?”

Jaemin: You quit because he gave you no other choice. Other employees had their eyes on you and, despite having you all to himself as his gf already, he couldn’t handle the possibility of losing you to anyone else. You had asked, more like begged, him not to fire anyone and destroy their career to which he gave you an ultimatum- quit or they’ll suffer. He knew you hated him for it, but it was for the sake of the relationship. To make you happier, though, he told you that you could work from home instead, a much better deal than quitting all together. However, this meant that you could no longer go out, being stuck to the confines of his large and luxurious mansion.

“Listen, this is the only thing I’ll allow. I don’t want you going anywhere without me, do you understand? No more friends, no more family, nothing, unless I say so otherwise. Defy me and I’ll fire you my damn self and you’ll have absolutely nothing to do. You’ll die of boredom before you’re given anything else besides me to occupy you. Pft, you really only need me anyways, so don’t tempt me, sweetie.” 

Haechan: Pissed is an understatement. He nearly lost his damn mind. He’d be so angry he’d fire all of your friends, not only from his firm, but from other firms he’s got connections with as well that they work at, and he somehow did it all in just an hour. When you do confront him about it, he makes it abundantly clear that he couldn’t give less of a shit about those people. This is, in fact, your fault for thinking that you could just quit on him like that and leave him.  

“Funny of you to assume I care-I don’t give a fuck about them, y/n. Be thankful that that’s all I’ve done. Oh, yeah, I can be a mean son of a bitch, and you’ll get to see that first handedly. What do I want from you? I want you. I want your love. I want your body. I want everything about you, and I will do anything to get what I want, and I won’t hesitate either. Don’t even think of telling anyone, I’ve got connections in places you’d never imagine. I could destroy your family, your friends, and anyone else, or anything else, that you love if you ever dare to try and leave me again. When we get home- yes, when WE get home- we’ll have a nice cuddle session after dinner with ice cream to celebrate you finally becoming all mine. In the meantime, though, come sit over here and behave yourself. Now.”

[certainempatheticturkeymuffin]

BOTW Challenge Ideas

So, I made a giant list of botw challenges. They’re under the cut, because trust me, it’s looong.

I might add more, I might not. Didn’t do it on a google doc because google docs look horrible on mobile. Please note that challenge runs are for fun and you don’t need to adhere to these exactly, if you have an idea, or like one of these, but want to tweak it slightly, it’s your game, you should have fun with it. I’m not gonna hunt you down or anything. Anyway, I recommend you give it a look over anyway because I added in-universe justifications for Link acting this way and some of them are funny.

The more indents they have, the more difficult I think they are. Then again, I haven’t attempted all of them, so I don’t really know. Italics are the “rules”, Bold is the name, and normal is the in-universe justification. Idk if Tumblr actually did justice to my formatting, so you may have to ignore this entirely.

This took several hours to make, and several more to put into tumblr, because tumblr hates Quotev’s formatting.

Edit: Formatting is fine, but only for the desktop version :(

Limited Teleportation: Purah dared Link to do it, not thinking that he’d take her seriously. You pick 5 shrines, and those are the only ones you can use to fast travel.

No Teleportation: Fast travel makes Link very queasy, so he’s not going to use it. No fast travel.

Only Foot Travel: Link’s allergic to horses, and fast travel makes him want to throw up, so he’ll stick to the tried and true method of walking and running. No horse, fast travel, or bomb launches.

Random Limited Teleportation: Purah dared him to do it. She has the names of each of the shrines and randomized them, she didn’t think he’d actually do it. Input all the Shrines into a randomizer, the top five are the only ones you can use to fast travel to.

Horse Only: Link loves horses very much. They don’t make him want to throw up, and they’re faster than walking. Sure it may be a hassle to drag them up mountains, but he always has a friend, so it’s fine. No fast travel, get a horse as soon as you can, you must have a horse beside you at all times (excluding the desert or other areas where your horse is literally blocked from entry)

My Best Friend!: Link thinks it’s cruel to have a lot of horses and pay very little attention to them, so he decides to keep one horse so they can be best buddies! You get one horse and it needs to be by your side until you defeat Ganon (once again, excluding the desert), try to keep it alive, you only get one horse and I hear the trip to Malanya will take quite a while without your best friend. (Bonus points if you name the horse Epona) If your horse dies, you must go to Malanya IMMEDIATELY and abandon whatever you were doing. No fast travel! (Teleporting horse is yours to decide though.)

Farmboy: Link and his horse have befriended a wolf! Link decides to officially name it Wolfie, and they’re a trio of best friends! The above, except add the Wolf Link Amiibo to it. Same rules apply, keep them with you at all times unless they are forbidden from entry.

I Do What I Want Old Man!: Link is honestly just doing it to spite the old man for leading him on for so long. The Plateau isn’t even that tall, he can climb down! It was only the fog that made it look scary! No paraglider. That's it. Have fun.

Limited Upgrades: Turns out, the Great Fairies have limited magic, even with him supplying the materials. That’s fine though, He doesn’t want them to waste their magic on him when they need it for themselves. You can only upgrade 3 outfits (9 articles of clothing) though you can upgrade them to their maximum.

Restricted Upgrades: Turns out, he can’t find the last two fairies. He feels bad, but it’s fine, he’ll just restrict his upgrades to repay them. It’s not like they’ll ever find out... You can only upgrade 5 articles of clothing, and only half-way.

No Upgrades: What are Fairy Fountains? Link doesn’t know! He’s too busy looking for memories to chase rumors. Fairy Fountains are not to be used for upgrading clothing.

Limited Clothing: Link thinks the clothes are cool, but he doesn't want to waste money on them when he has a perfectly good doublet and perfectly fine pants. He'll have a backup pair, but anything more is just excessive. You get 2 Armor sets and that's it, you can mix and match, but you can only have 2 pieces of headgear, 2 shirts, and 2 pants.

Small Wardrobe: Several travelers have given him the advice to "pack light" and "only bring as many clothes as you need" but a girl also said that "mixing and matching clothes is the worst thing ever" so he'll play it safe and pack lightly but avoid mixing two different outfits together. They’ve been in this world longer than him, so surely they’re right? You get two clothing sets, no mixing and matching

It's My Favorite Outfit: Several travelers have said to pack lightly, and some even said that it was only worth it to bring the pair of clothes that you wear. Smell apparently doesn't matter if you're a wanderer, which is good to know. You only get one clothing set, and if you plan on getting Vah Naboris, you know which one it'll be.

Birthday Suit: Link doesn't like clothes, they chafe and they get in the way. Underwear are the minimum he needs to be decent apparently, so he can't completely get rid of clothes. Someday though, he'll do it anyway. No clothes. Period. I don't recommend combining this with No Meals.

Restricted Clothing: Link figures that "packing light" would mean that he only has one set of clothes. If he plays it smart, one set is all that he'll need anyway. You only get one headpiece, one shirt, and one pair of pants. Mixing and Matching is allowed

I don't like pants: If he's being honest, Link hates pants. He likes the breeze on his legs and the grass, or rocks or sand or snow, beneath his feet. Pants also restrict his movement more than a loose shirt does. He's far more flexible without pants. You can only wear shirts.

This is my favorite shirt: Link doesn't like pants. He also got attached to one specific shirt. He loves it and he's not changing. Sure, he'll take it off to wash it, but he won't put a different shirt on or anything. You can only wear one shirt. Choose wisely

Aren't I beautiful?: Link doesn't like clothes, but headpieces are fine. A lot of them look really interesting too! People keep saying they'll look better with clothes, but his comfort is more important than looking good to other people. He looks good to himself, and that's all he needs. Only headpieces are allowed.

Safety First: Link doesn't like clothes. They're a waste of time and they feel weird. He doesn't really like headpieces either, well, except for one specific piece. Only one headpiece is allowed. (The name is a reference to Hard Hats.)

Shirtless Chad: Link can admit that he likes the attention when he goes shirtless. He isn't particularly muscular, but he's made more than one person blush, and he counts that as a win. If it means he's less restricted when using his bow or a weapon, well that's just a plus. Become that one buff guy that never wears a shirt. Pants only.

I don't smell!: Link doesn't like shirts, and he doesn't like anything on his head that might pull on his hair or block his vision. Pants were a bit of a compromise, until he realized how painful it was to step on a rock barefooted. Still, only one pair of pants is actually comfortable for him, and he rarely takes them off. One pair of pants, choose wisely.

No Shops: Link...doesn’t like asking for things. It makes him feel stupid or greedy, so when he found out that there was a whole profession where people gave things to you if you asked, he didn’t want anything to do with it. Even if it was technically a trade, it made him feel bad. You're not allowed to purchase anything from any shops or wandering merchants.

No Gifts: The king said not to trust strangers too much, and after his first encounter with the Yiga, he understood why. He doesn’t know if they’d try to poison him or use money to lure him into a false sense of security, but he isn’t going to trust it. He’ll be polite, and then immediately throw it away once their back is turned. He isn’t going to let his guard down. If an NPC gives you something, you ain't allowed to keep it or use it. If that thing is rupees, spend them on bugs and set the bugs free.

No Selling: Link didn’t know you could sell things to the shop owners, and even if he did, he’d feel greedy and stupid for trying to sell a shopkeeper bugs and plants, so he’d probably avoid it anyway. You're not allowed to sell anything to get money, if you want money, win it from a mini game.

Wiser the Miser: Link doesn't like spending rupees, so he doesn't. If he can steal or get something for free, he will. Someone gives him rupees? Their loss. Who needs to buy things when there's a world full of resources? Don’t buy anything. If you want exceptions, like getting into Gerudo Town, it’s your call.

No Selling or Shops: Link doesn’t like stores. They make him uneasy. Enclosed spaces where people ask for your stuff? No thanks. You’re not allowed to buy from shops or merchants, and you’re not allowed to sell anything either.

No Selling, Shops, or Gifts: Link doesn’t trust anything that people give him. Maybe it’s paranoia, but it’s entirely justified. Shops are the same, people asking for his stuff when he has more important things to do than barter. Shops are honestly a waste of time when he can get everything for free, except maybe goat butter. If an NPC gives you something, you must drop it, or, in the case of a food item, use it at full hearts/full stamina and if it has an additional effect you will stand in the middle of an inn and wait for the effect to wear off. You’re also not allowed to sell or buy at shops or from merchants.

No Chef Here: Link can make a good elixir, but he can’t cook and he’s not even going to attempt it. He’ll make do with raw apples and meat and whatever else he can find. He’ll be fine. Elixirs are fine, apples and stuff are fine, cooked food is not.

What's a Cooking Pot?: Link doesn’t know what the giant bowl thing is, so he stays away from it. If people give him stuff to eat or drink, he tends to throw it away, because he’s smart enough not to risk being poisoned. If it requires you to use a cooking pot, you ain't allowed to ingest it. This includes gifts from NPCs because we all know not to take candy from nice strangers

Don't Eat Raw Food!: The king warned Link against eating raw food, so he isn’t taking any chances. If you want to eat something, you need to cook it first.

No Meals: Link doesn't understand why people waste time eating. Nor does he understand the whole hunger thing. Maybe it's a Shrine of Resurrection thing? Essentially, you aren't allowed to eat or drink anything, including elixirs.

I Can't Cook: Link thinks his cooking is pretty good. Sure, he thinks it's weird that people eat Moblin guts and wood, but who is he to judge, he doesn't really know anything, and he hasn't died yet, so it's fine! No elixirs or proper food, only Dubious food and Rock-hard food.

Insomniac: Link wants to sleep, but he can't, not when there're so many things he needs to do. He can sleep after he saves Hyrule. No beds, including the one in your own house.

No meals or inns: Link doesn't need to eat, and it's unsafe to sleep in a room full of strangers. Mipha has his back, and Hylia does too, if he rests, he'll do so where there aren't any strangers or wild animals to stab him in the back. You can only heal via Mipha's Grace, Heart Containers, or buying your own home.

No Meals or Beds: Sleeping wastes time, and he doesn't need to eat. He needs to save Hyrule, and he can relax when that's done. You can only heal via Mipha's Grace and Heart Containers.

No Meals, Beds, or Heart Containers: Link uses all of his Spirit Orbs for Stamina, because anything that makes him faster will also help him save Hyrule faster. He does wonder why Purah freaked out and tried to force him to sleep when he admitted that he hadn't slept since he woke up, or eaten for that matter. Eh, maybe Zelda will know, and the only way he can ask her is if he saves her. Only Mipha's Grace and three hearts, have fun!

Ew: Link refuses to drink elixirs when he knows exactly how they're made. It disgusts him, and he's not letting them anywhere near his mouth. No elixirs/tonics.

Normal Hylian: Link isn't some sort of god, he can't just freeze time in the middle of battle to heal or change his clothes or grab a new weapon. He can only heal or change after a battle and if he breaks his weapon, he can take cover and switch out or he can just use bombs. Like a normal person. No changing clothes or healing during battle, no flurry rushes or bullet time. If you break a weapon, take cover and get a new one, or use bombs.

Actual Normal Hylian: Aside from not being a god, Link also needs to eat and sleep. Sure he can go without for a day or two, but eventually he'll just crash. And whether it's five raw apples or a five course meal, he needs something to eat. He also needs to stay hydrated, but that's what rivers are for. Try to make him sleep in a bed once every three days at least, and make him eat one meal a day (it doesn't have to be cooked, but it is generally preferred). Also, let him go for a swim every once in a while to stay hydrated, because I doubt he's carrying around any water. (This one adds on to the one before it, though not combining them is totally your call!)

Carnivore: Link got messed up in the Shrine of Resurrection, and now he can't digest plants. You can eat it raw or cook it, but you can only eat meat. Inclusion of Elixirs is up to you

Herbivore: Link gets queasy when he has to kill innocent animals, so he's doing fine just eating plants. He refuses to drink Elixirs too, knowing what they're made of. No meat or elixirs.

Liquid-Only Diet: The Shrine of Resurrection messed up and now Link can't ingest solid food, he also happens to be lactose intolerant, so no milk for him. Elixirs only.

No Map: Link doesn't want to waste time climbing the towers, he'll figure it out. Don't get the towers (except the Great Plateau), you have to use your surroundings, get a feel for the land. Use of Minimap, Divine Beast Maps, and Teleportation is Allowed (No Hyrule Castle Map though)

No Map PRO: Link doesn't want to waste time climbing the towers and realistically, he doesn't have a HUD in the corner of his vision telling him where North is. No Map+Pro mode, so have fun with that. You'll be very reliant on Death Mountain and Hyrule Castle. Divine Beast Maps are still allowed

I'm Lost: Link promptly forgot about the fast travel function and he really doesn't want to climb the towers. You can get the shrines, which are recommended for the spirit orbs, but you aren't allowed to teleport and you must be on Pro Mode. Divine Beast Maps are allowed. You can get the towers if you want to waste time, but you won't be looking at the map, so it's not recommended

The Legend of Zelda: Link has no idea where he's going, but he figures he'll be able to figure it out the more time he spends awake. He feels like he's forgotten something though... We're going back to the NES days! No teleportation, no horses, no bomb launches, and absolutely no map! Have fun getting lost just like the good old days where tutorials didn't exist and maps were reserved for dungeons. And, like dungeons, Divine Beasts do have maps and you can in fact use them.

No Retreat!: Link isn't a coward and he's stubborn. He isn't running from a fight even when he probably should. If you hear the battle music, you can't run away.

No Rest for Heroes!: Link doesn't need to sleep and he doesn't really care that it's dangerous at night. He'll beat whatever stupid monster picked a fight in the first place. You can't sleep through the night to avoid monsters, and you must stay and fight if you hear the music. You have bombs if you run out of weapons

I'm Not Failing Again: Link is guilty and angry. He is Hylia's hero, Protector of Hyrule, it's high time he did his job. If you happen to be near a monster, attack it. Monster camp? Destroy it. It doesn't matter if they don't see you. If you see them, you kill them. Simple as that. No intentionally avoiding monsters either. Best paired with No Map, but I'm not your minder.

FOR THE FALLEN!: Link is the Hero of Hyrule and he will do his job. Sure, he has a problem with rushing into battle, but really, what hero didn't? It's essentially the same as I'm not failing again, but you aren't allowed to do Stealth Takedowns, you see a monster, you run in and do melee combat, bows are allowed if you're close range and the battle music is playing.

Boss Hunter: Link doesn't like boss monsters. Taluses especially are literal death traps for travelers. He's sure he'll get a reward too, they're called Boss Monsters for a reason, right? Kill every boss monster in the game.

Lynel Hunter: Link knows they pose a threat to the people of Hyrule. At least you can run away from most boss monsters pretty easily. For the safety of Hyrule, he will kill every single lynel.

Limited Weapon Slots: Link never meets Hestu. No Koroks to expand your weapon or bow slots.

Spears Only: Link didn't feel comfortable using a sword because he felt like he didn't live up to who he used to be. But the claymores and other two handed weapons were bulky, and he was horrible with a bow. And then he found a spear, and he's never regretted grabbing it. The only weapons you can use are spears, no bombs either. Have fun getting a spear in the first place. (The Korok Limitation does not apply to the rest of these unless you want it to)

Elemental Spears Only: Link likes spears, but elemental spears are way better, in every way. He's never going back. Spears Only too easy? Well now you can only use spears that have an elemental effect.

One-handed Weapons Only: Link's muscles have atrophied from the time in the Shrine. He'll have to make do. What it says on the tin, only use one-handed weapons.

One-Handed Swords Only: Link would rather not use a stick, he's been trained with a sword so by Hylia he will use a god dang sword! One-handed swords only.

One-handed Elemental Swords Only: Link hates that he can't handle larger swords because these elemental ones are great. They just seem way harder to come by than the bigger ones. These disappear the further you get in the game, so have fun with that I suppose. Rationing is going to be your best friend.

One-Handed Elemental Weapons Only: Link loves elemental weapons, but he still hasn't built up enough strength to use the big ones, and he wasn't great with spears or the bow, but the Wizzrobe rods are fun too. One-handed too easy for you? Have fun with this. Options are the Wizzrobe wands and the small elemental blades, the further you progress, the less of the weak blades that'll pop up, and the stronger ones are two-handed weapons, so you'll be killing a lot of wizzrobes if you want to keep a good supply.

Rods Only: Link doesn't really like swords or bows, or really any other weapon. He couldn't really pinpoint why. Until he grabbed a wizzrobe's rod. Power that he didn't know he had coursed through him, and he decided that he wasn't using anything but rods from now on. Only use wizzrobe rods. If it's easier, use any weapon until you find your first wizzrobe, whatever works for you.

Boomerangs Only: Link didn't like getting in close, but he also sucked at archery. Then he found his first boomerang. His aim was good and it came back! It didn't break upon impact, it was perfect! Boomerangs only

Two-handed Weapons Only: Link feels inferior to his Before-Calamity Self whenever he wields a one-handed weapon. Because BC Link was trained with a sword, so there's no way Post Calamity Link can ever compare. To get rid of that feeling, Link only uses two handed weapons, weapons that he's pretty sure BC Link was never trained in. Use only two-handed weapons

Claymores Only: The king, upon Link's inquiry, said that he used a royal claymore. In an effort to remember him, and an irrational fear that he'll forget everything again, Link decides to wield a claymore. Even when he finds out the less than stellar parts of the King's personality, he's too used to the claymore to give it up. Claymores only.

Korok Leaves Only: Link doesn't like swords or traditional weapons, and the Wizzrobe's rods are a bit too...hostile? Yeah, hostile. But the Korok Leaf's magic is quieter and more serene. It also seems...familiar, but he can't pinpoint why. It's also pretty hard for him to break, so he's fine with using it to blow opponents away. Korok Leaf Only, have fun beating Ganon, though Dark Beast is impossible with only a Korok Leaf.

Bow Only: Link likes the bow. He likes it very much. Past Link was good with a sword, but Present Link is not Past Link, Past Link is never coming back and Present Link will grow to become his own person. What better way to distance himself from Past Link than to specialize in a weapon that knights rarely use? Bow only

Normal Arrows Only: Link does not like the sensation he gets from using elemental arrows, and really, they are much too expensive, he'll stick to his normal arrows. Bow only, with only normal arrows.

Elemental Arrows Only: Link finds them very effective, and very fun to mess around with. He kind of forgets that boring normal arrows exist. Bow only, only elemental arrows.

Bomb Arrows Only: Link likes explosions, and the ones he gets from bomb arrows are much more satisfying than the ones he gets from plain old bombs. Sure they're expensive, and sure the rain keeps them from exploding, but...really, after being killed and resurrected, he can afford to give into a few whims, right? Bow only, bomb arrows only

Ancient Weapons Only: Robbie said they were more effective, and Link'll be the judge of that. He'll have to scavenge a lot of dead Guardians, but it'll all be worth it for these supposedly more efficient weapons! Ancient Weapons only, go to Robbie's immediately after the Plateau, I don’t think you actually need the quest, until then, all weapons are allowed

Master Sword Only: Fi is calling out to him, and Link will get to her as quickly as possible. Get thirteen hearts without weapons or using bombs as weapons, then go straight to the Great Hyrule Forest to retrieve Fi. Fi is the only weapon you're allowed to use as a weapon. Other weapons can be used to cut down trees and such, but if they damage a living creature or a monster, then you must reload your previous save.

Trial of the Sword: Fi is weak, and Link hates seeing her like that, so he wants to help her as quickly as possible. It shouldn't be hard for a chosen hero, right? It’s essentially the above challenge, but you also do the Trial of the Sword immediately after getting Fi. Weapon rule is obviously exempt for the duration of the Trial.

Wooden Weapons Only: Link doesn't like the sound of clanging metal. He only uses wooden shields, bows, and weapons. He doesn't care if it makes Death Mountain difficult, his poor ears don't like the sound. Only use wooden weapons, shields, and bows, if it attracts lightning, it's not allowed. Korok leaves or other non-metal but still non-wood items are also banned.

Metal Weapons Only: Link doesn't like splinters, he'd rather be a lightning rod. He also doesn't really trust the durability of wooden weapons, so he'll avoid them like the plague and use only metal shields, weapons, and bows. Only metal weapons, shields, and bows are allowed, if it attracts lightning, it's good to go.

Nuzlocke: Turns out, Link forgets how to use weapons once he breaks them. It's an annoying little quirk that means Link can only use each weapon once. You break a stick? You can't use another stick for the rest of the game, same goes for all weapons, bows, and shields.

The Moon's Curse: Every Blood Moon, Link loses all of his weapons, shields, bows, food, elixirs, and items. He only keeps his clothes and the special items. Link thinks it's Ganon trying to stall his inevitable defeat. Every Blood Moon, clean out your inventory, your hands must be empty, whether or not you count clothing is up to you, and you can eat meals to get rid of them.

Tech Mage: Link....has forgotten how to use weapons. It's a bit unfortunate but the king told him to collect the runes for a reason right? And the Wizzrobes' rods just need to be waved around, no training needed, so he'll be fine! Runes and Rods only.

Techie: Link...doesn’t really know how to use weapons, which makes it hard to kill anything. But, he does know how to use the runes. He did just learn how to after all. He doesn’t...really need weapons...right? Runes only, no weapons, shields, or bows. Well, allowance of shields can be personal preference, since Guardians will probably be a nuisance until you get Daruk’s Protection, if you allow use of the DB Powers.

No Shields: Link finds them bulky and useless, he'll just go without. Simple as that, no shields.

Fragile: Link doesn't really find the need for heart containers when he's mostly running around. Besides, it's just more incentive to get better at fighting. No Extra Heart Containers. Divine Beast Heart Containers can either be kept or traded in for stamina at the Hateno statue.

Asthma: Link can deal with not being able to run for long periods of time. What he can't deal with is how fragile he is. If he hadn't had that fairy, the Moblin would've killed him in one hit! No, he needs to be way more durable than he is now. No Extra Stamina Wheels.

I Don’t Need A Goddess’s Help: Link looked at the statue once, and saw it as a waste of time to pray. He's failed once, he doesn't need a goddess's help to do what previous heroes did alone and on their first try. No praying to statues, so no extra Heart Containers or Stamina Wheels.

Zero Deaths: Link isn't immortal, Mipha's magic isn't as powerful, and fairies don't work on him after the Shrine of Resurrection, so Link has to be careful. He won't get a third chance if he dies again. Disable Mipha's Grace and don't collect fairies. If you die, it's over. Ganon wins.

Sorry, Your Gifts are Worthless: Link appreciates the thought behind the champions giving him their powers...but he can't actually use them. He's not a trained medium or anything, and he needs to communicate with them to make the powers work....soooo.... Don't use the divine beast powers.

I'll Be Quick: Link never got the memo that he was supposed to help the Divine Beasts, but, well, Zelda was alive and the champions aren't, and the only one actually causing any immediately dangerous issues was Vah Ruta, but the Zora will be fine, they're fish people. Defeat Ganon without the Divine Beasts.

Time for Fun: Link is bored, then he remembers all the mini-games around Hyrule. Get the best score on all the mini games.

Photogenic: Link likes taking pictures and getting information for things. It's a fun pass-time that also helps out Symin and Purah. Take a picture of everything, it doesn't matter if you fill your compendium, but you must take a picture if you see something new (obviously only starts once you get the camera rune)

Everything Breaks: Link finds breaking things fun, and if it keeps him sane, might as well indulge his urges. Make a list of all the breakable items in the game, and then break every single one. Maybe you'll defeat Ganon, maybe not. Vandalism is more important.

Economist: Link doesn't really know how to hunt, or which fruits are safe, so he collects things, sells them, and proceeds to buy things that he knows are safe. He buys all his clothing and food, weapons are perhaps the only things he can get for himself. He helps out NPCs too, on the off chance that they'll give him something. Once a city boy, always a city boy. If you pick it up in the wild, you can't use it unless it's a weapon. Sell everything you pick up, and instead buy all your food and clothing. Elixirs too. If you have a picture of a recipe from the stables, you can use those, but only those.

Eventide Challenge: Link is a bit of a completionist, but he also hates back-tracking, so, using the towers as a measure of his progress, he decides to do everything he can in one region before going to the next. You do all you can in one region, or as much as you feel like doing anyway, then you collect the next tower and get rid of all your food, weapons, shields, bows, meals, and clothes. You must make your way directly to the tower if you leave the region, collecting shrines or fighting monsters before collecting the tower is sort of cheating. (You can decide for yourself if previous regions are off limits or not. If they are, I recommend planning out which region would leave you in the best position for Ganon. If not, just have fun!)

Reverse Dungeon Order: Link expected the Divine Beasts to get harder as he progressed, but they got...way easier... Vah Naboris, Vah Ruta, Vah Rudania, Vah Medoh (people say Rudania is the easiest, and I can't even get past the puzzles, so...maybe Fireblight is easier, but Rudania kills me via my unintelligence and I did Vah Medoh in less than five minutes, just go for the hardest ones first and the easiest one last, since I guarantee someone found Vah Medoh to be challenging and Vah Naboris easy. This one is probably the most customizable.)

I'm Not A Hoarder!: Link doesn't like using his resources, because he might need them later and it's such a bother to backtrack and get more if he runs out. He collects things because he might need them later. And really, it's better safe than sorry. You see something, you pick it up. Don't sell anything, try to eat or use as little of it as possible, actively seek out more rupees via mini games.

I may have a problem: Link acknowledges that it isn't exactly normal to have so much of everything, and to immediately restock upon using some, but...he can't stop. Max out all your inventory space. 999 of everything. Max out your rupees while you're at it.

I'm Actually Not A Hoarder: Link doesn't see the value in wasting time picking up useless crap. He has bombs, and he doesn't need to eat, he'll be fine. Don't pick something up if you don't intend to use it immediately. Keep your inventory as sparse as possible. Only collect rupees if you intend to use them for something.

Speedrun: Link has a task he needs to get done, and he needs to do it quickly. Pick a speedrun category and do it. Don't compare to the world record, compare your time to your previous times and measure your progress that way. World record doesn't matter, only having fun does.

Where does this go again?: Link is currently in a pickle and has no idea where the blue flame is. He found one in Akkala and decided that it was the one Purah was talking about. He couldn't find it again when Robbie asked, but he did find the one in Hateno, so he used that one. Use the Hateno Blue Flame for the Akkala Lab, and the Akkala Blue Flame for the Hateno lab.

Impaired Senses: There has to be some consequences for resurrecting, and only losing his memories is a very light consequence. A blindfold is the most obvious one, though you can also turn off sound, which still has a little bit of impact, though it isn't as drastic.

Auto Saves Only: Link is subject to the whims of the goddesses. What it says on the tin, no manual saving for you!

Hunger Games: Link has the rules of the game outlined to him by a goddess. He can do nothing but submit, fearing her wrath. Pretend that towns and stables don't exist (avoid them like the plague), Master Mode, Only Foot Travel, the only time you enter a village is if you intend on completing the Divine Beasts and/or Memories for Impa. If you see an NPC don't interact, only wear clothing sets without set bonuses or special effects, if you see a Yiga, kill them, the Yiga are the only NPCs (aside from the Main Story NPCs) that you are allowed to interact with. Interacting with Koroks and Great Fairies is fine. Every blood moon, you choose one tab at random and completely empty it (special items tab doesn't count, Master Sword and Hylian Shield are exempt from this), and every time you collect a tower you can scan an amiibo, try to ration them.

Pacifist: Link doesn't like killing. Never has, never will, and he avoids fights like the plague. There's no need for excessive loss of life, he'll defeat Ganon and save the Champions, but that's it. Only kill the blights and Ganon and any other mandatory fights for the true ending (Like, I think Kohga is mandatory.)

I'll use this until it breaks!: Link doesn't see the need to stockpile weapons, not when almost anything can be used as one. He'll be fine. Essentially, you pick up the first weapon you see, you use only that weapon until it breaks, when it breaks you, again, pick up the first weapon you see, rinse and repeat. Master Sword is allowed, since Ganon’s going to suck without it.

100%: Link is going to do everything. He has no memories, and he's been dropped in this giant world. He's doing everything and nothing will stop him. You know exactly what this entails and I don't recommend it unless you're speedrunning, and even then, it's a bad idea.

Don't get hit: Link's stubborn, he doesn't like getting hurt, so he won't. Take no damage, even a quarter of a heart means you failed. Doesn't matter if it's a golden heart or not.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

98 Thoughts while watching A New Hope

1. Who was that silver protocol droid? What happened to them? Are they okay? where are they now?? I bet they’re cooler than 3P0.

2. Rebel helmets are just silly.

3. I love how dirty R2 and 3P0 are. 

4. Man, Rex is right. Empire-era Stormtrooper armor is total shit.

5. Shut up Anakin.

6. Oh Space Mom. I will miss Carrie Fisher forever. 

7. Anakin fucking - he asks a question just as he kills the dude. Like- why-? Shut up Anakin.

8. Something I really love about this first movie is that Leia doesn’t do anything overtly sexily. When she gets shot, she’s literally just laid out on the floor, on her belly. It’s not meant to be hot. And even later when she’s tortured, it’s not meant to be a male gaze thing.

9. For fuck’s sake Anakin. Your daughter is standing right fucking there, and you can’t even sense it. What a dumb. 

10. R2 is like “Fuck. This place again?”  But 3P0 was created on Tatooine and he doesn’t even remember. That’s kinda sad. 

11. As Dettiot says, you can really tell that 3P0 was created by a 9 year old Anakin. Yeesh.

12. I really love the Jawas. They’re so strange, and wonderful. 

13. I wonder what R2 was thinking about when he was walking all that time by himself on Tatooine. Was he thinking about Anakin? Was he thinking about the war? Or Padme? Or Ahsoka? 

14. Man, Tatooine at dusk is beautiful, isn’t it?

15. These Stormtroopers have sand on their butts. I never noticed. 

16. I remember thinking the Jawa going “bobit! bobit!” was very funny as a kid.

17. Beru Whitesun. Former slaver liberator. Secret bad-ass. She and Owen really deserved better. 

18. R2: I cannot believe my old master’s son is leaving me the fuck behind. What the fuck is this shit. Get back here. Do you know how much I suffered for your dumb dad? 

19. Luke playing with toy ships just like Anakin did. And didn’t Obi-Wan make some of those in one continuity or another? *sad* 

20. R2: ANOTHER SKYWALKER OH GOD. 

21. SHE IS YOUR SISTER. Do NOT falling in love with your SISTER.

22. R2′s memory has never been wiped. Aside from Leia’s message, gold only knows what other recordings are saved on his hard drive. 

23. Blue milk! 

24. And Owen lying his ass of to Luke. Ugh.

25. I remember as a kid thinking that Owen was too grumpy/mean. But he’s a really good person. He raised this kid, and wants nothing more than to do right by him. Done so dirty. 

26. But Luke’s pensive moment watching the suns set is so beautiful.

27. I desperately want to know how Beru’s cooker works. I want one. It looks so cool. 

28. I want a Bantha. 

29. R2 trying to wake Luke up is such a moment. 

30. Obi-Wan’s krate dragon impersonation is amazing. I wish he’d do it more often.

31. I have feelings about his old, dusty Jedi robes.  In fact, everytthing about old Ben gives me feelings. He lost everything, and has been hiding in the desert for twenty years. 

32. “He’s searching for his former master. I’ve never seen so much devotion in a droid before.” Obi-Wan’s face is so haunted in this moment. Fuck.

33. R2: WHY YOU PLAYING YOU KNOW ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

34. Owen told Luke his father sold drugs. The. Fuck.

35. “He was the best star pilot. And a cunning warrior. And he was a good friend.” *sads* 

36. Obi-Wan sat in the desert with his brother’s lightsaber for twenty years, just mourning everything that had happened. Fuck. 

37. Obi-Wan stop LYING. 

38. Obi-Wan’s face clearly says, while Leia’s recording plays, “Oh shit. All this crap is catching up to me. Again. I’ll never ever be rid of Skywalkers.” 

39. Obi-Wan has such terrible ideas. Still.

40. I just love that Vader hates the Death Star. Anakin hates the Death Star the way Steve Rogers hates Stark Tower. 

41. Aaaand bye-bye senate. I wonder if that will happen here in the US at some point if Trump keeps Trumping along.

42. Tarken and Vader’s bromance is such a thing.

43. Ha! “accurate.” “precise.” Stormtroopers. Ha. 

44. Owen and Beru’s fate is so gruesome. I was always so shocked by how much we were shown. Damn. Grim. And again, done so dirty. More Skywalker adjacent family dead. 

45. Shut up, Anakin.

46. More grim shit. Burning the Jawa bodies. 

47. Poor Luke. He lost everything that day. He thought his father and mother were both dead, and now his uncle and aunt are truly dead. So yeah. Following a weird wizard on a quest. 

48. Mos Eisley doesn’t seem dangerous. Just goofy. 

49. Alec Guinness’  delivery of the Jedi mind trick is so casual. So sly. Love it.

50. CHEWBACCA! WHAT A WOOKIE! 

51. Why does everybody hate droids??? 

52. omg. Luke tugging on the bartender’s shirt. Wtf Luke. Just say “Excuse me.” That’s so rude.

53. Obi-Wan just slicing off that dude’s arm...a little reactionary maybe? AND NOBODY DOES OR SAYS ANYTHING. 

54. Obi-Wan is so unimpressed by Han. omg.

55. Obi-Wan is just gonna hit up Bail and Breja for cash when they get to Alderaan. Dang. 

56. “I’m never coming back to this planet again.” heh.

57. Han shot first. Fuck all of this.

58. You know why her resistance to the mind probe is considerable? BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU DUMB ROBOT MAN. 

59. CGI Jabba is weak sauce.

60. “Even I get boarded sometimes” is the name of Han Solo’s sex tape. 

61. Luke’s poncho is so cute.

62. Leia is the best. 

63. Tarken is wearing comfy slippers.

64. The reason why even if Vader made amends with Luke, Leia will never forgive him, is right here. Not only did he torture her, but he stood back and watched while they destroyed her home. She will never be able to forgive him. Ever. And that’s legit. She doesn’t have to. 

65. I believe Chewie actually does beat someone with their own arm.

66. Obi-Wan’s smile when Han says there’s no mystical Force controlling his destiny was so good.

67. Even when there’s nobody else in the room, Vader doesn’t get to sit down. What the fuck.

68. Obi-Wan knows he’s gonna die.

69. Mark Hamill talks so fast.

(I accidentally took a nap during Leia’s rescue and the trash compactor scene. I was tired, and I’ve seen this movie so many times)

70.  Han screaming after the Stormtroopers is such a fucking mood.

71. Vader vs. Obi-Wan here...I have a lot of feelings about these two disasters fighting agai- SHUT UP ANAKIN.

72. Not only does Obi-Wan sacrifice himself to give Luke an exit, but he does so because he’s giving Anakin a choice in terms of killing him or not. He’s giving him a moment of grace here, I think. To not be an evil fuck. But uh...Vader.

73. When Obi-Wan says “You can’t win.” He’s not talking about the duel. He’s talking about over-all. Being a Sith means that he can’t win. And his “If you strike me down, I’ll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine” refers to the amount of guilt and shame Anakin will feel in killing his brother. That that will eat at his soul. And it does.

74. Vader stepping on the robes to make sure Obi-Wan is dead is hilarious in such a weird morbid way.

74. In a weird flip, Vader now has Obi-Wan lightsaber, as Obi-Wan had Anakin’s. 

75. Poor Luke. Owen, Beru and Obi-Wan all in one day. 

76. 1st person shooter time! 

77. Oh Han and Leia. My first fucking ship. So fighty. So sexy. I love them.

78. Stop flirting badly with your sister Luke.

79. ...who is Luke jealous of here? 

80. I love the HC that Vader knew about the weakness in the Death Star, and hated that fucking thing so much he never mentioned it. 

81. R2 back in starfighter with a Skywalker.

82. I swear Red Leader looks like Don Knotts. 

83. I love X-Wings so much.

84. Vader’s reflexes behind the controls of a starfighter must be fucked compared to what they were pre-Mustafar. 

85. Luke watching all these people die like “Ooh. I guess this is what Han was talking about.” 

86. Oh Tarkin. You gonna regret everything in a couple minutes. 

87. Biggs’ mustache is majestic.

88. Luke saves Wedge’s life by telling him to get the fuck out. Later, Wedge will likely sing “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.” 

89. The targeting system feels so old-timey. 

90. Obi-Wan you trained him for like 20 minutes. He doesn’t know what he’s doin- okay.

91. ANAKIN! HOw dare yOu ShoOT R2! 

92. Good job Han. <3 I actually really love Han a lot. He’s not a smart man, but he’s a pretty good man. 

93. The Death Star is destroyed, Tarkin dies, and Vader goes spinning off into space. Some fics have him traveling through time! 

94. The original trio is so pure in this movie. I love them so much. The sequels did all three of them so dirty. 

95. Leia’s necklace is so good.

96. And Luke’s Jacket is so bad. I’ve seen photos of it replaced by a brown jacket and it is so much better. 

97. Remember everybody. Rex is at the ceremony somewhere, watching a Skywalker get a medal. 

98. I love this fucking movie. 

[londonfog-chan]

Glitter Freeze: Kakyoin x Reader Part 2

Spot the Disney references.

“What in the goddamn hell...”

“I... we didn’t think it would affect either of you. But now that we know you’ve manifested, we aren’t so sure.”

You’re not sure what to do. The one who had been holding you when you woke up (the very handsome red head with a bandage on his forehead), was dragged off by your brother to another room. Your mother won’t let you go, she holds you tightly and keeps kissing you and you’re simply too tired to fend her off. And then there’s the issue of Frosty sitting next to you, the woman made of ice with a veil that doesn’t seem to want to let your mother shower you in warm kisses. It turns out the cold was just a cold. It happened before the big disaster, some dude woke up and took the body of one of your descendants, but the thing with the lady made of ice was exacerbated by your sickness. When she woke up, her first instinct was to take care of you. The stranger, Avdol, told you that she hadn’t been working against you completely. She was just a little misguided. Overly emotional, she let her better judgement fall by the wayside and just did what she thought was best at the time. She didn’t understand that she was hurting you instead of helping you. But before his own fiery power could melt the ice, it was Jotaro’s classmate that stepped in, taking you up in his arms while some of his power calmed down yours any way it could. Apparently that involved his own weird dude thing getting frisky with yours.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

You look at your grandpa. The lady made of ice honest to god hisses at your mother, pulling you out of her arms and into a frigid embrace. She presses a cool hand to your forehead, your fever is still high enough that you can almost hear the sizzle of her cold hands melting.

“Excuse the shit out of my goddamn French, but where the fuck do I even begin to explain what’s wrong?” You growled. “I can think of twenty fucking things off the top of my head. Pick one.”

The porcupine quills are out. You can feel yourself bristle with your usual ice cold attitude. The ice lady (Avdol calls her a Stand and you think that’s the dumbest fucking thing you’ve ever heard) softly hums, clicking her tongue as if she’s rebuking you. Your entire body is shaking, seized by the cold and the fear once again. You found out there actually was frost growing on your skin during the time you were getting cold, frozen fractals were currently blooming on your fingertips whenever the ice woman got particularly upset or felt you were in danger. That would explain why you felt like you had hypothermia. You basically did.

“But for functionality’s sake, let’s start with this bullshit. This is what’s been wrong. I get told I could have fucking died if your friend hadn’t thought it was odd there was ICE creeping out from under my door.” You show them the frost creeping up over your palms, and immediately Avdol approaches.

“Hold out your hands and breathe.” He commands.

It takes a lot for you to hold in the smart ass remark that wants to come out. The ice stand at your side hisses again and seems like she is going to do something to take care of the stranger, but the cold compels you to hold out your shaking hands to Avdol. You’re so tired of this. You want the cold to give way to warmth. This isn’t funny anymore and you want out of this shit.

“I want it to stop.” You hiss.

“I know.” He insists. “Breathe.”

His hands are warm under your palms, he guides your breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Hushing you and calming you down like you’re a toddler about to explode with a tantrum.

“Look.” He speaks and you obey.

Sure enough, you’ll be damned. Your stand calms down, the frost retracting from your hands and returning to being small glittery specks on the tips of your fingers. Miniscule snowflakes, beautiful and each one is completely different from the other in small ways. His breathing technique has worked. Quelling the rage that threatens to boil over in your blood.

“Thank you…” you breathe. “That’s… that’s better. Much better.”

“Honey…”

This time the ice lady lets your mother take your hands in hers, and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen her gently but firmly nudge someone aside as she pushes past Avdol to get to you. He yields obediently, both his eyes and the eyes of your grandfather tamed on your mother as she breathes her hot breath onto your cold fingers. Jotaro returns, his narrowed gaze on you both. You meet his gaze halfway, daring him without words. You feel like the ice is going to come back but it doesn’t. It seems like there’s someone else watching from his side. Something hidden that you’ve still got that childlike fear of.

It pisses you off that he has the capacity to intimidate you like this, and you hear your Stand hiss under her breath.

“I know you’re probably scared…” your mother’s gentle voice startled you out of your staring contest. “But you’ve got to trust your grandpa. He’s going to help you and your brother, and it’s going to be all better soon. Mommy won’t let anything happen to you either, ok?”

All you can do is let her hold you tightly against her chest. No one says much of anything. The long winded explanation that your grandfather threw at you isn’t even worth the brain power it takes to absorb it all. Vaguely you nod when your mother asks if you’re hungry. Running on autopilot, because the only thing you can think of regarding this whole thing is the fact that Avdol told you there was a good chance you could have died. Your grandfather Joseph doesn’t stay. He’s got to have a talk with Avdol, no doubt it’s a worry about what should happen to your mother. He mentions something about a fighting spirit before they exit the room, and you’re left with your brother.

“… jeez…” he sighs. Annoyed.

Bristling, you think that mother fucker has no right to be annoyed.

“You’re always causing trouble.” He mutters.

“What the fuck did you say?”

He looks at you sharply, but you don’t care. Suddenly you’re bristling again. Porcupine quills out. Ready to scream. That familiar tension in your shoulders builds up, and before you know it you’re shouting at the top of your lungs.

“I was causing trouble?! I was scared you big dumb fucking bitch!”

Despite your anger, you’ve begun openly weeping. Tears fall and your voice cracks as you continue to scream at your brother. Every little miniscule thing. The way he avoided you when you first got sick, and then how he neglected you when there was this horrible thing, like a cancer, building up inside you all this time and you couldn’t even get him to look at you. But that wasn’t anything new. Ever since he grew a few pubes and his balls dropped he treated you like a disease. It never used to be that way. He used to care, he used to walk you to school every day and cut up your katsudon pieces in your bowl because he loved you. He used to fill the void in your heart because your father was never home. Jotaro used to play catch with you, and dress your dollies up and sing to you and make you feel as though life was beautiful and worth living. And these last few days, you felt trapped in your kingdom of isolation.

He stands there unmoving as you let it out. You can’t believe it. He has little to no reaction to your outburst. For once in his miserable life he doesn’t turn the screaming back on you. Are you fucking winning this argument??

“You left me all by myself! I didn’t even have anyone come in to check on me when I was freezing to death all alone in my room! Do you have any idea how scared I was?! I thought I’d been forgotten, especially when I had this fucking dumb thing inside me stifling my screams… Your dumb fucking ass was in the slammer and I was probably going to die and a literal stranger had to be the one to bring me back! Now I think of it, I’m not scared, I’m fucking pissed off! F... FUCK! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK!”

The use of the word fuck is like a mantra when you’re arguing with Jotaro. From insults ranging to fucking cunt, fucking pig whore, you’ve called him so many filthy things involving the word fuck that it’s lost all meaning to you. But still, it’s so interesting that you suddenly feel like you’re shouting at two people all by yourself. Your stand has faded away, evidently too scared to face your brother, she lets you scream to your heart’s content because you can feel she’s scared to face the ramifications…

But you could give a shit less.

“You always took care of me... and I kept calling for you and you didn’t come and get me! You fucking promised-”

“ENOUGH!”

Your grandfather is at the door. Before you can continue he bullies your brother silently out of the room and is at your side, holding your trembling shoulders and trying to talk you down from turning the house into Disney on Ice…

You wake up four hours later, exhausted, wrapped in the arms of your grandfather as he snores without a care in the world.

At least you’re not alone, and it’s a double whammy to turn over trying to get up to pee only to accidentally roll onto your mother. Well, you’re certainly not alone anymore. You’re unsure how to feel now, the inner bitch of your soul screams too little too late, but now you realize that they must have heard everything and felt guilty for neglecting you.

Well… you think, It’s sweet but, they’re not the ones I want to feel guilty for this.

It takes a lot of effort. Your Stand comes out in a flurry of cold and you have to really get it under control to prevent your loved ones from waking up, but she does help lift you over their bodies and out the door silently. Her hands are frigid. Icicles pressing against your soft skin as she guides you down the dark hallway and into the bathroom where you sit thinking on the heated toilet for a lot longer than would be necessary. But now that you’re at least having a few moments of clear thought, you can’t help but wonder how the fuck you have anything to do with all this.

You heard your grandpa before he left the room the first time, Her fighting spirit is strong but… What the fuck is he talking about fighting spirit? What the fuck does this have to do with the snowy woman standing in front of you while you take a leak, like this is a group effort and she’s there for moral support? It leaves you with more questions than answers. Maybe if you had fighting spirit you wouldn’t have passed out and missed the entire thing, and then maybe your Stand wouldn’t be hovering over you while you flushed and washed your hands, pushing soap into your palms because you only rinsed.

Better yet, whatever happened to that hunk whose Stand wanted to go to pound town on yours?

“I’m sorry… Did I wake you?”

The voice is so gentle, so sincere. It’s nothing like the sounds you’re used to in the house so it’s startling to hear. It’s coming from the room right across from the bathroom, and when you slide open the door, you see the red head all nice and cozy under his own duvet on a futon.

“Hey.” You murmur. “You didn’t wake me up. Are you ok?”

His head is wrapped in bandages and you kneel down to his level. You’re still in pajamas, an old shirt and overly large pajama pants that once belonged to Jotaro. He’s outgrown so many clothes that you have all these pajamas to steal from him whenever you run out.

“I’m perfectly fine.” He insists. “I… I didn’t mean to impose.”

“Impose on what? You look like you’re just as fucked up as me.” You point to your forehead. “Is that because of your Stand too?”

“No… That comes courtesy of the man who almost made your stand kill you.”

“Dude…” you groan. “Where does this cunt live? Because I’m about to fuck his shit up into next week.”

He is dead silent while you laugh, and you realize that it must be because of your mouth. You blanch when you see his blank face illuminated by moonlight peeking from a crack in his screen door. An uncomfortable silence passes between the two of you. What else can you say? Nothing you have on your tongue seems fit for your ears, and it’s honestly like talking to Grandma Suzi when she ignores you until you clean up your language.

“All your ice is melted.” You huff, looking at the neglected ice pack by his side.

“Yes…”

“Do you… do you want me to fix it?”

I mean… you yourself are an icemaker yeah? Technically?

The hunk takes a while, but eventually nods his consent. Your Stand places her hands on the ice pack. You can hear the crackly squeeze as the water solidifies, and when you place it on his head he sighs in relief.

“Thank you…”

“No… I should be thanking you.”

He looks at you. Even though he’s just as ice cold as you are, those beautiful eyes that greeted you when you woke up hold you tightly in their gaze. He’s intently listening. All of his focus is trained on you. For the first time you feel almost embarrassed that he’s just staring you down.

“You saved me right? I… I remember you kissing me.”

“P-please understand… I didn’t set out to take advantage of you like that.”

He explains that it wasn’t completely him. For some reason, his Stand acted out on its own, clutching yours and lavishing her with affection.

“It was very strange…” he murmured. “For once it didn’t want to destroy. It seemed to want to draw out your Stand, the way she hovered over you, her frosty breath coating you in layers of ice… It was too much.”

“I… Well shit dude… I guess I’d rather thaw out by macking than die alone in my room like a human popsicle.”

Finally, he laughs, and your heart skips a beat because god dammit. He’s just so handsome. Total beef, more defined muscle than your grandfather and brother combined, and his gaze is just so captivating. He has those big puppy dog eyes, and he looks like he could bench press ten of you.

“I don’t hold it against you.” You tell him softly. “I… I was really scared. I could feel like I was slipping away into the cold. I wanted to give up. No one came for me. I couldn’t even cry for my mother… And then you came.”

You smile gratefully at him, swiping at a strand of hair that’s in your face.

“Thank you... um…”

“Noriaki. Kakyoin Noriaki.”

“Thank you, Noriaki-kun, for coming to my rescue.”

Unfortunately you will never know what it does for your features when you smile, and you miss the red dusting across Kakyoin’s cheeks as you exit the room.

[youknow-i-loveit]

Why I Still Feel Like I Need To Ask Permission Before I Do Anything Ever

Randomly hit with the realization that my parents are still holding me back because they never taught me how to act with autonomy.

They never taught me how to be assertive or how to tell people things.

(They also wrecked my self-esteem, which was pretty horrible to begin with.)

My parents were very “do this because I told you to” authoritarian types who didn’t like to answer questions, and especially hated it when you questioned them. Questioning other authority figures was okay sometimes, depending on who the authority figure was, but my parents wanted to reign over their children with absolute power.

They generally had issues with needing to feel in-control. They didn’t have great role models for what it means to be an authority figure- my mom was the youngest, doted upon and spoiled for being the only girly-girl in the family, and by the time her parents had her (the eighth child), they were exhausted and distant, permissive, laissez-faire parents- and my dad grew up under an abusive military man who routinely beat his children, who used his voice as a weapon, and when he was at work, his wife ruled through manipulation, primarily guilt-tripping. Since my dad was the second of his six brothers, he was considered to have a better idea about how to deal with children, so my mom generally deferred to him, partly because of that, and partly because if my dad didn’t feel like he was in charge, he would make sure everybody felt miserable.

And as they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My dad very much took after his father. He thought he was being toned-down and “gentle,” and bragged all the time about how he had it worse, making it sound like he was going easy on us. He often threatened to act more like his dad. But while I feel bad for him and his brothers and the abuse they endured, that gave him no excuse to abuse us the ways he did.

I could go on and on, but the point is, my parents didn’t know how to be in charge, but they felt that it was their god-given right to be in charge-- literally, they kept throwing “Honor Your Mother And Father” at us from the Ten Commandments.

My parents never admitted to being wrong. In fact, my dad hammered it in that being wrong was shameful and something that none of us should ever, ever do- ignorance was considered shameful, and if we ever dared utter the sentence “I didn’t know,” he would mock us, roar at us, and quite often, make references to that moment for the rest of the day, if not the rest of the week. It took me years to be okay with admitting that I don’t know things. To teach myself that learning should be fun and exciting, and that teaching others new information should be seen as an opportunity, not as a burden.

So my parents are proudly ignorant control freaks with an abusive streak, who want to rule with absolute authority; so far so great right?

My parents were strict Catholics who wanted us to follow their faith. They took us to church every Sunday. They enrolled all of us in Catholic school until they couldn’t afford the tuition anymore. They insulted anyone non-Catholic- even other Christians- calling them stupid and sinners and sometimes even “evil,” and considered anyone who attended Catholic church but didn’t adhere to their beliefs “not true Catholics,” so they were lumped in with the rest of the riffraff who were apparently going to hell.

We were allowed to question authority figures that didn’t adhere to their strict beliefs, and even encouraged to make fun of them, but if we ever dared to question someone who did, my parents informed us with cold, cutting certainty that we were making the wrong choice and were in danger of going to hell ourselves.

We grew up pretty sheltered. Our parents wouldn’t let us participate in most of the fads that swept up everyone else in our peer groups. It didn’t even matter when those peers were all Catholic kids attending our same Catholic school- my parents still thought their parents were making the wrong decisions, and we were effectively isolated from socializing with our peers. For a window into this, consider that I was forbidden from watching or playing Pokemon during the late 1990s. At recess, literally everyone else in my class would “play Pokemon,” whether that meant they were actually playing the trading-card game or whether they were pretending to be characters from the show. Since I wasn’t allowed to participate, I was left alone on the swings, accompanied only by one of the lunch moms who took pity on me. (Her name was Mrs. Stevenson. She was funny. I liked her. For Halloween, she wore an ugly holiday sweater with Froot Loops glued all over it and said she was a ‘cereal killer.’)

We weren’t allowed to watch Sailor Moon, or Rugrats, or Dragon Ball Z. We weren’t allowed to play with Furbies. We were allowed to accept Beanie Babies as gifts, but our parents were too poor to buy us any, so I think the most I had was about six.

We were also (wrongly) informed that people different from us were all stupid. I questioned this from a young age, asking why people were different, but instead of actually answering me, my mom would go “Exactly!” as though that settled that.

So when I asked why African Americans spoke differently or dressed differently or said things like “black pride,” I was told it was because they were entitled and because they thought they were special, but that they were foolish and wrong. It was only later, on my own, that I learned they don’t do these things to set themselves apart from the rest of society out of some weird petty desire to be special and different, but because we stole their culture from them, and they need to reclaim an identity that they can be proud of. The system is stacked against them, so every act of embracing their blackness is an act of rebellion against the system that tries to crush them every day. They speak differently because of where they live, because of history and culture that have shaped their words that way, and if their grammar is improper, that’s most likely due to underfunded school districts, but it could also be code-switching so they fit in with their peers.

And when I asked why anyone would be anything other than Christian if the Bible really was the word of God, and God was real, I was told it was because they’re too stupid or jaded to see the truth. So when my uncle came out as Muslim when I was a teenager, our family ostracized him, berated him, and made fun of him relentlessly behind his back, because we all thought he was stupid. It was years later that I became an atheist and I realized the questioning process he must have gone through, the philosophy he must have studied, the books upon books he must have read, the agonizing introspection he must have endured, all while living under his parents’ roof... 

We were told that we were smart. That we were important and special. 

But we were also taught that we were constantly on the razor’s edge of being undeserving of love or redemption.

Naturally, this caused me to form strong attachments to characters like Loki, Bucky, and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast- characters who others saw as monstrous, but who seemed worthy of redemption, who didn’t seem to deserve everything that was done to them, even as much as they blamed themselves or got down on themselves sometimes.

The constant messages of “you need to be perfect or else” and “you are a disappointment,” accompanied by my dad’s ridiculously high standards, made me desperate for approval. 

I sought favor with my parents nearly every day, but was so often disappointed- especially by my dad. Even when I’d done something I was really proud of, he’d find ways to poke holes in it, talk down to me, call me stupid, and ask something to the effect of why I’d made such a horrible decision.

So I started looking elsewhere.

Friends. Partners. Teachers. Professors. Therapists. Co-workers. Bosses. Other people’s moms. Members of groups I joined. Anywhere I could get it, I was (and still am) constantly thirsty for validation, praise, and approval.

My parents probably weren’t trying to do this, but they taught me to constantly second-guess myself. They taught me that I needed to ask for permission to exist.

One of the things that was brought up over and over again whenever one of us would upset Mom was that “she gave birth to you.” On one memorable occasion, my dad went into graphic detail about how exactly the birthing process worked. He made it sound like some sort of accomplishment, or personal favor, that I should be forever grateful and reverent towards. But I never asked for this. Giving birth was something she couldn’t avoid. I should have never been guilt tripped into feeling like I owed her something for it.

Whenever my dad was a certain flavor of upset, he’d bark “Get out of my sight!” We would flee to some far corner of the house, behind some closed door, and cry where no one could see. In that moment, he had ceased to give permission to exist in his presence.

So when I first came out as trans, I struggled a lot, because I felt like I constantly had to ask everyone around me for permission to be myself.

It’s tragic that, in retrospect, everyone would have respected me a lot more if instead of asking, I had simply told them who I am and then been myself. I should never have felt so timid, so cowed. I should never have felt like I owed anyone an apology for asking them to use my name and my pronouns.

I should have been free to be me.

But when I lived under my parents’ roof, I wasn’t free. I was forced to hide, to pretend. I was forced to let them deadname and misgender me. I was still forced to attend church until I moved out-- I got out of attending weekly mass by pleading that it was detrimental to my mental health, after being forced to attend masses as an atheist for over a year. But in order to keep a roof over my head, I was still forced to attend Christmas and Easter mass every year, and badgered to attend more masses at nearly every opportunity.

I had to lie about who I was dating too. I had to hide all the ups and downs- the euphoria of new crushes and new relationships, the agony and heartbreak of breakups or bumps in the road. I couldn’t ask my parents for advice navigating this extremely important part of my life. Instead I had to figure it all out on my own, and lie, and pretend they were my “friends.”

My parents made me feel as though I couldn’t do anything on my own.

So to this day, I still often feel like I have to ask for help or for moral support in order to get things done. Not everything, but anything that my partner could feasibly be involved in or have any opinion on whatsoever. Filling out forms, looking things up, buying food, scheduling our week.

And anything that I’m not 1000% sure my friends would invite me to, or anything I’m not 1000% sure they want me to do, I’ll hang back on or stay silent. Any sort of physical affection that I’m not 1000% sure is welcome, I’ll hold back on or I won’t even offer, because I’m so scared of rejection or retaliation. Any complaints that I have, I’ll run by someone else first, and sit on for often weeks or months before I bring it up, if I ever bring it up, because I’m so worried that someone’s temper will flare, or that they will grow cold and distant and cut me off from their affection/ attention/ presence.

My parents never taught me how to ask for things.

They never taught me how to tell people things, simple things, like “I’m going to the store,” or “I’m a guy actually,” or say “Oh, you’re going to meet up with a bunch of people I know? Can I come?”

I’m self-taught in a lot of things, but socializing is one of them.

And as I’m sitting here typing this, I’m waiting for my partner, because we have to get through a lot of paperwork and beaurocratic nonsense this week, and even though not all of it strictly needs to involve her, I still feel like I can’t do it on my own.

It’s okay to ask for help. That’s something I’ve had to get used to too.

But sometimes I worry if I ask for too much help. >_<

[imaginapalminthemorning]

Study Me How to Please the Eye Indeed, Ch. 2

Ch. 1 here

Warnings: cursing

Introductions Pt. 2

Jesus, that kid is a lot, Janus grumbled as he readjusted himself on the tiny bed. Five minutes and he’s trying to get me to spill my whole life story.

It wasn’t even that great a story. Just your typical troubled child— bullied, outcast, problems with authority— the usual. Why did he care? And what’s so wrong with using a nickname? Lots of people go by nicknames. Why’d he have to call him out on that of all things?

Janus wondered if Remus’s story was much different. He certainly looked like a troubled kid. Leather jacket, ripped jeans, piercings everywhere. And that stupid mustache. He looked like he belonged in a strip club. Or a porno. What the hell was he doing here?

Oh, who am I to judge someone based on their appearance? Janus groaned and shoved his face into his pillow. I certainly wouldn’t know anything about that.

Don’t fall into old habits, Dee. You’re here to make a new start, remember? Clean slate. No mistakes. No judgment.

No lying.

Hell, that’s probably why he’s here too. A new start. Rude and annoying huh? Does he get that a lot? Hah. I fucking wonder why. Well, he won’t get that from me. We’ll keep each other in check. He’s sure to call me out on my bullshit; I’ll make sure to let him. Together we can start fresh.

But for now, I need to fucking sleep.

                                   *            *            *            *            *

It was well past dark when Janus heard the door open. Remus sauntered in and slammed the door behind him, causing Janus to flinch slightly. His head was still pounding, but he tried not to look too irritated.

“You were out late,” Janus said in as calm a tone as he could muster.

“Sorry, mom,” Remus mocked. He flopped down on his bed and let out a long sigh. He didn’t seem to be in the best of moods either. Janus decided not to push the issue, and went back to the book he was reading.

Remus watched Janus read for a while. “Did you get some sleep?” He finally asked.

“Some,” Janus replied.

“That’s good.” Remus turned his gaze back to the ceiling. Funny, he’d been so talkative earlier. What happened out there?

“What have you been up to?” Janus tried casually.

“Wandering the campus. Found the science building. It’s big.”

“Is that where your classes are gonna be?”

“Yep. Chem major,” Remus continued to speak to the ceiling. Janus wondered if this was payback for being so defensive earlier.

“What about you? What are you majoring in?”

“Philosophy.”

“Oh dope. That’s tough shit. You must be pretty smart.”

“I could say the same thing about a chemistry major.”

“Yeah well, I really just wanna learn how to make a bomb,” he paused a moment, but then turned and smiled at Janus. “Kidding.”

“Funny,” Janus said flatly. This guy is so weird.

“Hey, have you had dinner yet?” Remus suddenly popped up and sat cross-legged on the bed. He bounced slightly, causing the old wire frame to creak underneath him.

Janus was caught a bit off-guard by the sudden change in demeanor. “N-No, not yet.”

“Catch.”

Remus reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a small package, and tossed it to Janus. Janus turned it over in his hands, and found it to be a package of pop tarts— strawberry flavored.

“They have a whole stand of free snacks in the cafeteria. I took a bunch of ‘em,” Remus stated as he began unwrapping his own morsel.

“Healthy,” Janus said snidely, eyeing the sugar content.

“If you don’t want it, give it back,” Remus mumbled, half of the pop tart already in his mouth.

Janus very much would have given it back, if it weren’t for his growling stomach. As well as not sleeping, he also hadn’t eaten anything since that morning. And considering how late it was, the pop tart was probably his best option.

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he unwrapped the frosted pastry.

“Welcome,” Remus smiled, “figured you probably hadn’t eaten much. I’ll make sure to get something ‘healthier’ next time.”

“You got this specifically for me?”

“Of course not. I got it for me. But then I thought you might want some too, so I went back,” having practically inhaled his pastry, Remus tossed the wrapper and began work on a second one.

“That was... very thoughtful. Thank you,” Janus repeated.

“What can I say, I’m just a thoughtful guy,” Remus finished his second pack and laid back down on the bed, satisfied.

“And here I thought you were just another guy with dicks for brains.”

Remus shot a glance at Janus, surprised, but Janus just gave him an impish smile.

“Kidding.”

Remus’s face broke into a wide grin. He looked almost proud.

“I like you, Dee. I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

Janus smiled as he took a bite out of his pop tart.

“Me too.”

******

“Hey Pat, you dropped this.”

“Oh, Lollihops!” Patton plucked the stuffed frog from Roman’s hands, and carefully set it down on his pillow next to the other two.

“So you like frogs, huh?” Roman commented.

“Yeah! I know it’s weird, a grown man with stuffed animals, but I just couldn’t leave home without em! They’re like my babies!” Patton smiled at the little trio. Lollihops, Croakington and Sir Hopsalot had stuck by Patton his whole life, even when everything around him was constantly changing. He wasn’t about to let them go anytime soon.

“They’re cute,” Roman said encouragingly, and gave Lollihops a little pat on the head. “Nothing wrong with a few little cuddly companions. As long as they make you happy right?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! Thank you!” Patton beamed with excitement. It felt so good to be validated, especially by someone like Roman. He figured Roman would think he was weird, or childish; after all, he seemed so strong, and mature, and confident,

and pretty,

but he also seemed really nice and compassionate. It was clear Roman was way out of Patton’s league, but he didn’t seem to mind. Patton counted his lucky stars that he got such a good roommate.

As he did, Patton noticed a ringed notebook sitting on the desk next to his bed. It wasn’t one of his; it was red and sparkly, and had a small drawing in the lower corner— a dragon wearing a little witches hat, etched in black ink.

“Hey Roman, is this yours?” Patton asked as he picked up the small notebook off the desk. Not thinking, he opened it up and started reading a page.

Roman turned and jumped when he saw Patton reading. “Oh, that’s nothing,” he said as he snatched the book out of Patton’s hands. “Just a journal.”

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Patton said sheepishly. Come on, Pat, you should know better. That’s private!

But what he had seen had made him curious. He had to ask, “Do you write poems?”

Roman eyed Patton cautiously, still clutching the journal. He seemed to be deciding what to tell him.

“They’re... song lyrics, actually.”

“Really?” Patton’s jaw dropped, “That’s so cool! Do you sing?”

“Sort of,” Roman shifted in place, looking both flattered and embarrassed. “I’m better at guitar, though.”

“You play guitar?!” Patton’s eyes shone in excitement. “Wow! I wish I was talented like that. I can play Chopsticks on the piano but that’s about it. And you write your own songs?”

“Well...” Roman’s lack of enthusiasm was quite perplexing. What was he so embarrassed about? Patton wondered.

“I try to write songs,” Roman explained, “I haven’t finished any of them. None of them are very good anyway.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, they’re just... I don’t know, I just...”

Patton watched Roman fumble with the notebook as he fumbled over his words. Perhaps he wasn’t as confident as he looked. He needed some encouragement.

“Do you mind if I read some? I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, I get that it’s private, but...” Patton trailed off and waited for an answer.

Roman thought about it another moment, but finally relented and handed over the journal.

Patton opened it back up to the page he had seen, and read quietly. He read another page. And another. Each one was covered in beautiful phrases about love and loss, happiness and anger, risk and regret. Patton read and read, amazed at the talent and heart that was being poured out onto every page.

“These... are really good, Roman,” Patton spoke softly with wonder, “Why did you think they weren’t good?”

“I don’t know. They all sound so... cliché. Everybody writes love songs, you know? I wanna write something new, y’know, something nobody’s done before. I just always start out with an idea, but then... I start hating it halfway through. That’s why I never finish anything.”

Patton finally closed the notebook and handed it back to Roman. “Well, I think people write about love so much because there’s so many ways to talk about it. It’s not so much what you write about, it’s how you write it, right?” He gave Roman the warmest smile he could possibly manage, “And I think you write beautifully.”

Roman’s cheeks burned red, and he looked down at the little notebook. “You’re not just saying that?”

“Of course not!” Patton dared to place a hand on Roman’s shoulder. He didn’t shy away. “I think you’re a very talented individual, Roman, and I look forward to getting to know what you’re all about!”

Roman smiled, “Thanks Pat. I... I can call you Pat, right?”

Patton smiled back, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

******

The diner was small and cramped, but in a cozy kind of way. Logan and Virgil had settled on it after assessing the state of their wallets, and were now sat at the counter, watching the chefs bustle about in the kitchen. The smell of eggs, bacon, pies, pancakes, and maple syrup hung in the air. Oldies crackled over the speakers, almost drowned out by the mumble and bumble of conversation from the other patrons. Logan’s deep voice added to the sound, as he continued to ramble about this and that. He wasn’t paying much attention to what he was saying; he was focused more on Virgil’s reaction. The boy next to him sat hunched over, eyes averted, fidgeting with his fork. He looked like he was trying very hard not to look too uncomfortable.

Logan’s heart sank. He had been so excited when Virgil agreed to accompany him; the prospects of making a new friend were slim for Logan. It was his own fault, he knew. He just couldn’t seem to relate to others— his interests never matched those around him. Even now, the boy in the dark sweatshirt and shaggy black haircut couldn’t be less interested in what he had to say. However, Logan would have to share a room with him for the next four months at least, so this was not a relationship he could afford to lose. He decided to accept defeat before the situation got any worse.

“I’m talking your ear off, aren’t I?” Logan tried to sound pleasant and positive, and not disappointed at all.

Virgil perked up immediately. “No no, you’re fine. Sorry,” he said, almost instinctively.

Logan cocked his head, confused. “Why are you apologizing?”

“Oh, I just,” Virgil stuttered, “Sorry, I’m not— you know, sorry for not, contributing to the... the conversation... much...” his voice trailed off to a whisper as a soft pink spread across his pale cheeks.

Logan was taken aback. He had not expected an apology. What’s more, Virgil seemed embarrassed. Why would he be embarrassed?

“That’s nothing to apologize for,” Logan said earnestly, “I should be the one apologizing, I’m yammering away and not letting you get a word in.”

“Oh, that’s ok. I’m... not really a big talker,” Virgil dared a glance over at Logan, “If you couldn’t tell already.”

“Well, I tend to talk a little too much,” Logan smiled back, “If you couldn’t tell already. Just let me know if I start to annoy you. I won’t be offended at all.”

“Do people say that a lot?”

“What?”

“That you annoy them?”

Yes, thought Logan. All the time. Not in so many words, but in their actions, their reactions, and their subtle body language. A quiet sigh, a resigned look, a shallow excuse to end the conversation; no one ever mentioned it, but it was oh so clear to Logan— nobody seemed to care. No one had ever really listened. No one had tried to understand. No one had ever, ever said the words—

“You don’t annoy me,” Virgil’s voice cut through Logan’s thoughts and struck him at his core. He had set down his fork, and was staring intently at Logan with his dark eyes.

“I’m sorry if I made it seem that way. I’m just, not very good in social situations. I have a hard time talking, making eye contact and all that. But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested.” He looked down for a brief moment, and then back up again, “The truth is, I was really nervous to do this. I mean, I don’t know you. But you seem like a nice guy, and I mean, I’m gonna have to get to know you eventually, right? And if you don’t mind me being so quiet, I don’t mind just listening to you.” His cheeks flared pink again and he muttered quietly, “I really like listening to you.”

“...Oh.” Logan was struck speechless. Who was this boy, who spoke so softly, but so sincerely? Where had he learned to be so heartfelt with such simple words? Could he really be telling the truth? Logan searched his face for some semblance of deceit, but he found none. Only concern creeping up behind his eyes.

“Uh... are you ok?” Virgil asked cautiously.

“Yes!” Logan said a little too excitedly, “Yes. I just... don’t hear that very often. Thank you.”

Virgil smiled for the first time since the two had met. “No problem,” he said quietly.

As if following a cue, the waitress arrived with their orders, and the two boys turned their attention to eggs and hash browns. However, Logan’s mind continued to play the words over and over: You don’t annoy me. I like listening to you. You don’t annoy me. I like listening to you. You don’t annoy me...

Maybe, just maybe, this would be a friendship to last.

[captain-aralias]

8, 15, 17, 28 for the writer meme, if you didn’t already get any of those

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

i just answered this, but since it’s you, i’ll go for some blake ;) hm.... 

i must say, i think i have written some pretty great dialogue for blake’s 7 in my time. here’s one of my favourite bits - 

“It’s a quality operation,” Vila said. “They wouldn’t skimp on a thing like that. You want a boyfriend, Blake – and I want to go to Del Ten. Give me your promise that we can spend a week there once we find Docholli and I’m your man.”

“Vila, once we’ve found Docholli, we will have the key to finding Star One,” Blake pointed out.

“Are there any dancing girls on Star One?”

“I very much doubt it.”

“Then I’d still rather go to Del Ten,” Vila said.

“Couldn’t you wait?” Blake suggested. “Until after we blow up Star One?”

“After you blow up the Federation’s weather control systems, you mean?” Vila said. “And throw the civilised world into chaos? Right, I’m sure that would be a lovely time to take a holiday. Got any more suggestions like that, Blake? Perhaps I should invest in the stock market at the same time.”

“Two days,” Blake said. “I could give you two days on Del Ten.”

“A week!” Vila repeated.

Blake shut his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He willed himself to find the strength to complete this conversation and make the right choices.

“Oh, Blake,” Vila said kindly. “You really need this, don’t you?”

Blake felt a hand rest on his shoulder and looked up into Vila’s sympathetic eyes. “Yes,” he said with relief. “I’m sorry, Vila. I don’t want to put you in this position. But I really do need this.”

“You’re going to have to give in then,” Vila told him in the same kindly tone as before. “Unless,” he said, a twinkle in his eye, “that is, you want to ask Avon to be your boyfriend...”

i could have quoted this entire scene - even this is a lot. i love writing blake and avon, i love writing avon and vila, but i really really love writing blake and vila together because there are some lovely moments in canon to draw on. they’re two characters who have very little in common except that they’re both smart. this conversation is about how blake - who almost always gets his own way - now needs something he can’t just demand that vila does, and that gives vila the upper hand repeatedly throughout this conversation. blake, even though he knows this is an awkward conversation and really should be better prepared. 

i also like the different lengths of the dialogue - it has a good patter. 

it’s also funny, and funny because it’s cruel to someone (in this case blake, not usually), which is very blake’s 7. also also - it ends with vila insinuating what is essentially the plot - i.e. that avon will have to pretend to be blake’s boyfriend by the end of the story - and this is a trick that i always enjoy for a section end. the audience is like - oh ho, wouldn’t that be simply TERRIBLE? ;) ;) 

good times.

--

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

hm - not sure. maybe right now ... ‘Hang the Moon’? it’s got a lot of good action that would translate well to film, and i have a very clear idea of how most of the scenes look.

it would be kind of weird, though, right to have a film of a ‘carry on’ fanfic before we have a ‘carry on’ film. so i’m finding it quite hard to visualise. 

i would have loved to have written some dialogue for blake’s 7 people to actually say (assuming they remembered how to do the voices properly, paul darrow). i would be so embarrassed to present paul darrow with my porn, though (although ‘An Apple Cleft in Two’ would be so great, though, as it’s practically a bodyswap - i love the idea of seeing the real stephen pacey pretending to be blake, and paul darrow just being so angry), so it would have to be some sort of gen. 

ok - i think i choose ‘Showdown’ because it basically is ‘Duel’, so I know the Beeb could have staged it. it’s got some mega emotion that gareth would have done beautifully, too - 

Blake extracted his hand slowly from Avon’s. He pressed his fingers against Avon’s wrist and waited, but there was no pulse. He let the hand drop and tried the artery in Avon’s neck, but he knew he was just prolonging the inevitable. Avon was dead.

He forced himself to look back at the man who had been his friend.

Avon looked peaceful. The blood spattered on his face was not his – it was Travis’s and had fallen from Blake’s cheeks like tears. Blake screwed his eyes shut again in an attempt to stop it, and in the darkness Sinofar’s voice said,

“So – the battle is over.”

--

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

i almost always write in order. when i think of a scene that is in the future, i will usually write some notes about it, but try not to write it because i very much build on (in my head? i dont know how much comes through in what gets written) what i wrote before in terms of how people think and feel/i do a lot of dialogue call-backs. 

there are a few occasions where i go ahead and write something that happens later, but then i feel like i really screw myself when i try and go back and write the missing piece. i have to re-write everything i wrote previously to make it make sense... ‘Greener Grass’ actually is an example where i didn’t write out of order on purpose, but i thought i’d start with simon’s section which introduces all the bodyswap stuff fine, but it was too heavy with the bodyswap plot AND the introduction of the agatha-isn’t-here/get simon’s magic back stuff. there was just too much going on.

so then i had to write an intro section for baz, which i thin is good - it frames the story as baz’s story, which i know is what rainbow would want, and gives us calm before the storm ... as well as giving me an opportunity to write the exposition i needed. 

but i had to go back an edit the next section a LOT to make room for it. which i hated. 

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

i’ll do two batches. 

blake’s 7: 

x_los is my girlfriend, but i knew her first as an amazing writer. i wouldn’t have written half the things i did for b7 if she hadn’t started writing these epic, involved political stories, and she writes great porn. i really am not interested in david copperfield/uriah heep, but she thinks baz is a cat killer who does not deserve the time of day, so there you go. we’re in different fandoms now. 

elviaprose is not only a great writer (the foot fettish fic is incredible, given that neither she nor i have a foot fettish as far as i know), she’s also really engaged with other people’s writing and i love that. it’s really good fun. 

judith proctor  - i wanted to put in a second generation fan, and i was tempted to go for willa shakespeare (so good, so plotty, so porny) or nova (such pain!), but i have to go for judith. judith taught us all how incredible blake is. her love for this character, and the way that she always writes him as smart but flawed, and attractive to avon because he is smart and principled, rather than for any other reason, is fundamental to any of us reclaiming him for the future. (it’s probably not a surprise that the authors i like really influence me as a writer, but worth calling it out - i am very much saying that as well). Touching Life! so good.

carry on:

we have some amazing writers, thank you fandom <3 three of my very very predictable favourites (the same three, i think, who wrote my favourite fics of last year) are: 

@basic-banshee - what can i say? (insert long pause while i think of what to say.) i mean, we all know Ban is a great writer. it’s a pleasure when the most popular writer in the fandom is also a genius. i love all her secondary characters and that she spends so much time with them. she writes the way i want to - lots of good tropey stuff, great fun AUs, and plotty plotty good plot stuff. also - she always writes the most perfect endings that just make you feel GOOD. 

@sharkmartini - i think we share a lot of the same ideas about what we like in fics i.e. we like the same tropes, we like that baz is a vampire, we think the same things are hot and romantic. i love the way sharkmartini plots this and she always writes great dialogue. also, i do think we owe snowbaz smut to her - maybe it wasn’t the first-first, but ‘Monster Under the Bed’ (which is SO good, honestly still one of my absolute favourite things) seems to have influenced so much of what came after it. 

@krisrix - also an amazing artist, but for me an even better writer. the smut is amazing and sexy while also at the same time being really tender. kris also writes beautiful, long amazing kisses - and again, endings that are so beautiful and tender. also - let us talk about the plotty things! i love writers who mix plot and romance (or even dare i say - smut) because i love to have all the things in one fic. What Stays and What Fades Away is so smart and interesting. and, of course, kris has written my all time most favourite trope - fake relationship.

[butididnottried]

So, after a few weeks i'm finally at the finale.

The Phoenix King

Excuse me, mister phoenix fire bitch king Ozai, sir, your enormous ego makes me cackling like a kindergardener that just heard a swear word. This man is just insufferable. But yeah, he is a human being (and once he was an innocent (cute?) baby) and Aang is right with not wanting to kill him. Like, they really never talked about this, and they all act like it's one of the easiest thing to do. I know that fandom likes to jokes about how Toph and Zuko we're killing people and the rest of gaang was more than oblivious to that, but seriosusly, none of them - and i mean all gaang - never killed not even a one person. Probably. As far as i know/remember. I realize that fate of the whole world is lying on their backs, but i also know that they know better than to shaming Aang not wanting to be a murderer and they fuckin know that they're not helipng with such agression.

They didn't tell Zuko about their plans to attack after the comet, so Zuko didn't tell them what his father want to do with the comet. And now The Avatar is missing and you have no time to loose. That's what happens when people do not talk to each other! Buuut Ozai plans towards comet sound kinda... important? Big? Dangerous? Looks like Zuko should tell the rest about that anyway.

But hell, they really wanted to wait out this whole comet thing and attacket later? Like, why?! They really expected that the fire lord wouldn't use it's power to do something crazy? Because he already conquered Ba Sing Se? And that's all? He won the war? What? Cooome on, Katara, Sokka, you're smarter than this. ):

Toph was way too happy about throwing flaming rocks at her freinds. And she moulded a whole Ba Sing Se in sand. With the earth king and his bear looking just like they look. Girl, that is some crazy memory superpower.

👏 Give 👏 Toph 👏 her 👏 life 👏 changing 👏 trip 👏 with 👏 Zuko 👏

I have a really hard time with believing that Azula is just 14. Aang and Toph are just 12? Ok. Katara is 14 and Sokka 15? Sure thing. Zukos 16? Yes. And uh, Azula is also 14. And i'm like... you lost me.

Gay disaster mister avatar tracking master be like "i know what to do" and he takes all his friends to meet a powerhouse lesbian.

The Old Masters

Welcome to the family grampgramp!

Seriously, Paku does not deserve such precious grandchildren.

And also seriosuly, master Pianado is not that old. He's fine and middle aged. How dare you.

Bumi can bend with just his face. He can bend a whole house. And then throw a whole house. What a man. No wonder he can just like that proclaim himself as a king. Who would forbid that to him? Aaaand, do firebenders didn't knew that eclipse would take bending powers away from them? Is this some forbidden knowledge?

Uncle Iroh, i'm really start to doubting your wisdom and common sense. You really want to leave Zuko all alone when he become fire lord? I guess that since Zuko himself recognizes his mistakes and choose the right path Iroh thinks that he's ready to be responsible enough and take lead of a whole nation. Yes. Of course. ...Nooo, no no, i would never leave my baby boy like that. But i'm a dumbass and except moral support i wouldn't be much help with ruling. But an old man having his pai sho plays every day is more important. I'm let down. ):

I read how lionturtle and his gift to Aang is just an easy and lazy deus ex machina and... no? No really? Well, yes, it was easy for Aang to just being gifted with energybending and not needed anymore to kill Ozai, but it makes sense in this world and do not came out of nowhere. Aang was so conflicted about possibility that he must kill someone, that he unconsciously seeked help from spirits. The lionturtle do not came to Aang, he didn't even know that there's a human on hic back. Aang asked him for guidance and help, and lionturltle did excatly that - he helped the avatar with his dillema. Easy. Well, i'm guessing that Aang don't know yet what excatly happened and didn’t feel different. Also, Aangs moral dillema about killing another human is just *double chef kiss*. ATLA aired more than 10 years ago and even now it's rather rare to see something like that on show for kids.

But also, all these past avatars we're rather useless. You need to be more active avatar Aang. You need to bring justice. You need to do something. Blah blah blah. These are not really substantive tips. Maybe expect that aribender avatar lady. She also didn't really helped Aang with his problem, but at least she said something new and meaningful.

Into the Inferno

All these firebenders flying around like they have jetpacks is just hysterical. And yes Toph, yes, that's A LOT of fire. I also like how they used a sound of flamethrower in firebending scenes.

Banishment for you. Banishment for you! Banishment for everybody! ...aaand idk, for me Azula slipping away was a little to fast? Maybe if we saw some some scenes with her between “The Boilin Rock” and this it would hit harder/better? Idk. I don’t really feel her. And when she's drawed LIKE THAT i have even harder time believing that she's just 14.

Oh, i like so much music choice during Azulas and Zukos agni kai. When Aang and Ozai are fighting there's proper battle music, but during agni kai scenes music was sad, emotional and dramatic, not only accentuating tragedy of this situation, but also how Zukos and Azulas personal fight is different from Aangs and Ozai. NICE.

Avatar Aang

And that's why you do not mess with the avatar! Fuck him up Aang!

But lol, how funny it is that Aangs cosmic chakra was unlocked absolutely by stupid accident? Ozai that one particular thing bring wholly oh himself. And oh, Aang knew how this whole energybending works buts still was hesistant to use it because it could be too dangerous to him and he left it at the very end, if he had no other choice. Understandable.

Aang is the best avatar, there's no discussion. When all past avatars went down to absolutely obliterate Ozai and Aang standed up to all of them? NICE.

Hmmm, there's one good thing about loser lord Ozai. His hair game. This thick mane is truly impressive. It's almost on disneys Pocahontas level when it's flowing on wind. And then he got roasted by a bunch of goofy kids. Beautiful.

Yes Sokka, it's amazing that Toph invented metalbending. You have no idea how much.

Katara taken down Azula in a very smart way. Can i get a wahoo for Katara? WAHOO!

That open plot with Ursa feels... unnecessary? Do they planned comics at this point? Like, if you're not going to resolve this in the show then why even keeping her alive? I guess that this is in presupposition, that Zuko is going to find her and bring home and they're going to be all happy and nice but idk. Maybe it would felt differently for me if i didn't know how this was resolved in the comics. :/

Ty Lee was like GIRLS, and girls we're like YES. You go, you funky little lesbian.

Aaaah, it felt so rewarding and satisfying when Aang immobilized Ozai, put a whole laser show and then calmly put down this whole fire around them. Closing scenes after that we're good, but emotionally? Aangs being at peace immediately after fight bringed me peace. My skin is clean, my crops are thriving and all that smooth jazz. So good. Such good finale. I can't believe that. Honestly, i don’t remember the last time when i felt so good after finishing something.

...and they needed to ruin it at the very last seconds. Well, not like, ruin it whole, but scratched it enough. Aang walks on porch, Katara joins him, they look at each other and blush, they see how calm the world is right now and how good and beautiful it is, they hug each other, it nice and cute and just good. And it should end right here. Because this kiss really feel like reward and it's... icky a little.

[wildandsexyjacks]

Boo

So I missed Yuta’s birthday but this blog is still on halloween lockdown so... Ghost!Yuta + #60 from this Halloween prompts list

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: mild swearing

It’s just an old house, you tell yourself. Just an old... abandoned... supposedly haunted house. No big deal. You’re gonna do what you came to do, then get the hell out and collect your money.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Right?

As you sweep the door open, its hinges squeak loudly, making you jump a little. You quickly look behind your back to find your friends laughing on the sidewalk. 

“You don’t have to do it if you’re scared, Y/N!” your best friend shouts, amused.

“Shut up, Taeyong, just because you’re a pussy doesn’t mean I have to be one too.” You shout back, then take a deep breath and step inside.

It’s going to get dark soon, so you fish for your phone in your back pocket and turn the flashlight on. The living room is empty except for some old furniture covered with white sheets. Dust and spiderwebs are scattered everywhere, and a beautiful crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling.

Whoever lived there in the past was filthy rich.

The place has been abandoned for as long as you can remember, after a string of strange accidents happened to its owners over the years, most of the time during Halloween. The rumor running around town was that a family from Japan had been the last owners, in the 80s, but their only son died in another one of those weird accidents, so the grieving couple closed off the house and left to never come back. After that, homeless people would sleep there sometimes but they never stuck around for more than one or two nights, claiming the place was haunted by evil spirits.

Now the old house has only been used by stupid kids who want to scare their friends or for Halloween shenanigans, the latter being the reason why you’re there after sundown in the spookiest night of the year. You’ve never been one to be scared of ghosts, so when Johnny dared you to go inside and take something from the kitchen as proof you’ve been there, you thought it’d be the easiest 50 bucks ever.

Now, all alone in this creepy place, you’re starting to change your mind.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, there's nothing to be afraid of, there's nothing to be afraid of..." you mumble repeatedly, trying to convince yourself.

“Actually,” an unknown voice echoes somewhere behind you “it’s Halloween. Plenty of things to be afraid of, tonight.”

You jump and scream, turning around to swing your phone’s flashlight randomly around the room. A beautiful boy perks his head up from where he was resting on the couch.

“Jesus! No need to scream like that, you’re gonna wake the dead.” he laughs like he just told a great joke while you clutch your heart.

“What the fuck????” you shoot daggers at him with your eyes, then look around “It’s not funny, Johnny!” You yell to no one in particular and turn to the boy again “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What?” he sits up, and crosses his arms in front of his chest, annoyed “I live here. What are you doing in my house?”

You roll your eyes.

“Very funny. How much did Johnny pay you to scare me? I hope it was worth getting your ass kicked for it.” You charge at him.

He jumps off the couch and away from you.

“So you break into my house and threatens violence unprovoked. A real-life princess.”

“Oh, cut the crap, I’ve lived across the street my whole life, this house’s been abandoned for decades.”

You shove your phone on his face and take a good look at him. A real look at him. He’s a good looking guy, probably the same age as you, with sharp features and black hair falling to his eyes. But there’s something off about the way he looks, though you can’t exactly pinpoint what.

He flashes you a beautiful smile.

“So you’ve never heard of the super handsome, crazy smart, incredibly cool, very sexy young man who moved in from Japan around.... thirty years ago?”

He steps forward and then you realize what seems wrong about him.

It’s blood.

There’s blood on his forehead and the sleeve of his grey sweater.

You take a subtle step back, your face pale.

“Well yeah... but he’s dead. Had an accident at home, when his parents came back it was too late already.”

He scoffs.

“Accident? That’s how Mark calls it, for sure, but the son of a bitch pushed me down the stairs.” you must be looking shocked because he shrugs and adds “Don’t worry, that’s all water under the bridge now. He lets me kill him every Halloween to make up for it. I mean not kill kill him, you can’t really kill someone who’s already dead but it hurts like a bitch and that’s enough for-“

“You’re dead.” You mutter. “Are you.... are you a ghost?”

He winks.

“Boo.” when you don’t react, he frowns “You’re not scared.”

You are scared. VERY scared, to be honest, but you shake your head anyway. Even though you’ve never seen anything with your own eyes, the paranormal is not a new concept in the daily life of your family. For a long time, you thought your parents were crazy or just flat out lying, but here it is, a real ghost, in the flesh... Well, sorta.

“My dad is a parapsychologist, he says we have no reason to fear spirits as they can’t hurt us.”

“Oh but on Halloween they can.” He walks up to you and runs a finger down your arm. As far as you know he was not supposed to be able to touch you, and it feels.... weird. “You see... you shouldn’t visit cursed places in a night like this, darling, it’s when monsters come out to play.”

For the first time since you entered the house, a shiver goes down your spine. However, when you’re about to run for your life, he breaks out laughing.

“Oh, relax, I’m not gonna hurt you. I know who you are, we hang out with your cat a lot, he’s pretty cool.”

You frown.

“We?”

“Yeah. Me, Mark, Taeil... Everyone who’s ever died in this house is still here, we can’t leave.” he sits down on the couch and you automatically follow “I’m Yuta, by the way.”

He offers his hand, but you’re too freaked out to be polite. You lean in and touch his forehead, then poke his cheek, his shoulder.

“How come you’re not transparent? Why can I see you? Why can I touch you? Why can you touch me? Why can’t you leave? How did you die?”

“Okay, Ms. Curiosity, stop it.” he pushes your hand away and clears his throat. “There are some things about Halloween you don’t understand. It’s the one night when the veil between your world and whatever there is beyond that is lifted or whatever, that’s why you can see me and touch me. It’s also the only night we can go out of the house as long we come back by sunrise. My friends are all out there having the time of their after-lives terrorizing kids.”

You frown.

“If it’s the only night you can go out, why are you here alone?”

Yuta lifts his hand and touches his injured forehead. His fingers come out dipped in blood.

“I had a headache. Haha get it? A headache?”

“You’re not funny.” You roll your eyes when he winks at you again.

“Seriously though, what are you doing here?” He perks his head up to look through the dirty windows “It’s starting to get too dark, you shouldn’t be visiting places like this, all sorts of weird things happen on Halloween. You might think I’m joking but it really is dangerous.”

Just as you’re preparing your answer, Johnny calls out for you from the outside, asking why it’s taking you so long to take a stupid mug from the cupboard.

“I’ll be right there!” You shout back, then turn to Yuta again. “That’s the reason. My friend dared me to come in and take something from the house.”

He nods his head in a thoughtful way.

“So breaking and entering, violence AND thievery... I think I’m in love.”

You snort and shove his shoulder.

“Stop flirting with me, Casper.”

He shrugs.

“Can’t help it, you’re pretty and I’m a Scorpio.”

“You’re dead.”

“It does not stop us, as you can see.”

With your face burning hot, you jump off the couch and immediately change the subject.

“Do you mind? Me taking something, I mean. It’s not like you’re gonna use any of this stuff... Right? I’ll make 50 bucks if I come out carrying anything from here.”

He gets up too, and takes your phone from you, lighting the way to the kitchen.

“Sure, why not?”

You walk side by side while Yuta talks about anything that comes to his mind. Glancing at him, you notice he’s overly excited to have someone over. It makes you wonder when was the last time he met someone new. It must be pretty lonely to be stuck in this old house for so long.

“So for the rest of the year you can’t touch anything or appear to anyone? Why are there so many rumors of this house being haunted then?”

He’s busy roaming through the cupboards and doesn’t hear you the first time, so you call him again and repeat when he finally turns to you.

“I can appear in some sort of semi-corporeal form if I concentrate hard enough, but it’s kind of tiring, so I only do it when I’m in the mood to scare the shit out of someone or if they’re super annoying. Most of the time I don’t really care.” He laughs “Winwin HATES visitors, he probably is the famous evil spirit people talk about around town. Here,” Yuta hands you a chipped mug. At first, you think it’s just a plain white one, but you look inside and see that the bottom of the mug is printed in a black font reading You've been poisoned. “Your bravery token, Ms. I’m-Not-Afraid-Of-Ghosts.”

You laugh, hugging the mug against your chest.

“It’s Y/N. You can call me Y/N.” you take your phone back, then lean in and give him a quick peck on the cheek “Thank you, Yuta. It was nice to meet you.”

He brings his hand to where you kissed him, eyes wide, and you turn around to leave.

“You know...” Yuta calls again but averts your gaze when you look over your shoulder “I could be...” he clears his throat, kicking the foot of the table lightly “I could be persuaded... to appear... if you ever want to hang out again....”

You bite back a smile.

“I can bring my laptop... Do ghosts watch Netflix?”

He sighs.

“I have no idea what that is.”

It’s your turn to wink at him.

“You will find out then.”

-

NOTE - this week i’ll still be writing halloween-themed stuff, feel free to request if you have something in mind or just pick a number from this list. Here you can find information on what i write and who i write for

[seelaa26]

8. Start A War

“Bang, shots fired. Pain is what you desire. The pen is mightier than the sword then how did we get here, my God. Sail among liars, blame the deniers. So you want to start a war. So you want to be immortal with a loaded gun”

As we had done in the interrogation of Pete, Sara, Brass and I entered the interrogation room while the FBI agents stayed in the viewing room. As soon as we entered, Brian got mad and started talking.

-Finally! What am I doing here? You have no right bring me here when I have done nothing!

-Are you in a hurry, Mr. Reid? –Brass asked.

-In fact, yes –he nodded seriously- I have to stop by my ex-girlfriend’s house to pick up my stuff before she gets from work.

-So you didn’t break into her apartment? –He frowned like if he had no idea about what I was talking about- The door was bashed open.

-What? No! I have a key –he exhaled and tried to calm down- Just call Portia. She’s angry with me but she’ll back me up.

I opened my mouth in surprise. Brian didn’t know what had happened, which meant I had to tell him. This was going to be the first time that I had to communicate someone’s death. I looked at my colleagues and they nodded at me. With their support, I quickly thought about how to say it.

-There was a fire at the spa.

-A fire? Oh God! Is she OK?

-Unfortunately, Ms. Weismann never made it out of the mud bath.

-The mu.. you mean sh.. it can’t be!

-Mr. Reid, we’re sorry for your loss –Brian closed his eyes and put his hands in his head- We have no evidence implicating you right now, and we know it must be a shock to hear about Portia. We need your help to figure out what happened to her. You mentioned that you and Portia were no longer together. Was this a mutual decision?

-No, I broke it off with her. She.. her, her drug problem was getting in the way. Weed. She knew I couldn’t.. she knew I had a problem with it.

-Was Portia self-medicating? –Sara asked- Cancer patients are sometimes prescribed medicinal marijuana to help them cope with the side effects of treatment.

-Cancer? Well, that may have started her habit, but her cancer’s been in remission for years.

-Portia’s cancer had come back. The autopsy found mesothelioma in the lining of her heart. She didn’t have long.

-But she never told.. I didn’t know.

-Where were you last night? –I asked- Can anyone verify your location between the hours of three and four a.m.?

-I don’t think so, no. I was at home hanging with my body Jack for most of the night. But by then, Jack was gone and I was pretty much passed out. -Can your buddy Jack confirm your story?

-Well, I try not to ask the bottle too many questions. People look at me funny.

-Mr. Reid or should I call you Captain Reid? –I could see where Brass was going.

-Not anymore, I’m no longer with the Las Vegas Fire Department.

-I bet you’ve seen a lot of buildings burn and I bet you know a lot of ways to light ‘em up.

-You know something buddy? You are way the hell outta line! –Brian snapped and hit the table with his fist- I devoted my life to jumping into flames and saving people. So for you to sit there and insinuate that I may be an arsonist.. is the most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me! And Portia? You think I set Portia on fire?! I mean, I don’t know what kind of animals you people have to deal with, but that’s not me!

-Being a firefighter was obviously very important to you so it must have hurt to lose that. I think you failed a drug test..?

-Portia made pot brownies. Now, she says she didn’t dose mi intentionally but she did leave the damn things right where I would find them and she didn’t tell me what they were! And then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, happy Monday! Go pee in a cup.

-You dumped her because she dosed you.

-Tell us about this tool –Sara showed him a picture of the tool used to break in Portia’s apartment- It’s a firefighter tool, isn’t it?

-It’s called a Denver Tool. Firefighters use it for getting into and out of places.

-The drywall at the spa was ventilated with a Denver Tool.

-Well, it wasn’t mine. Anybody can buy one on the internet, even my gir.. even Portia had one. She wanted it for protection. Said it creeped her out to be alone in that place all day.

-How often did she do that? Spend hours alone at the spa? –I asked him.

-Just about every day. You know.. there were times I started to believe that place might be some sort of front for money laundering. Portia was convinced and she was keeping her own records.

I looked at the mirror, knowing Killian and his partner were behind it watching the interrogation. Brian gave them what they were looking for.

-Did anyone else know Portia was keeping financial records?

-I think she might have mentioned it to her boss which seemed like the wrong guy to talk to about it, but she trusted him. After she talked to him, she got all paranoid.

I left the room feeling satisfied. Besides clearing up my suspicions, Brian gave us a reason for Pete to start the fire and the pressure point we wanted to start dismantling “The Queen of the Hive”. Next stop? Pete Baxa’s barbershop.

***

When we got to Pete’s office, the barbershop, we saw the blinds down and the sign closed hanging on the door. Killian and I exchanged a daring look and knocked on the door despite being closed. We were willing to wait whatever it took, but luckily, Pete opened the door holding a piece of paper around his neck.

-Hi, uh, sorry. I was shaving.. cut myself –he threw the paper in the trash next to the door- What can I do for you?

-We’re looking for a tool –I said directly- Portia Weismann owned a firefighter tool. She kept it at the spa for security. Have you seen it?

-No, she had some kind of weapon at the spa? That’s totally against company policy.

-That’s all we need right now. We’ll be back.

-Uh.. looking forward to it.

After that phrase, he closed the door and disappeared. It was clear that Pete wasn’t a very smart pawn, because if were, he wouldn’t have given us his DNA. When the evidence is in a public place and in plain sight, we don’t need a warrant, so we took the paper.

Still with the DNA lab doors closed, you could hear the music Greg was playing but once I opened the doors, the sound flooded the room and Greg was lost in the song. He moved his leg like he was hitting the drum’s pedal and moved his arms like he had drumsticks.  

-Good morning to you too, Greg! –I yelled in his ear and he jumped in fright.

-What can I say? A man need his pleasures –he answered with a smile while he removing the music.

-Especially, when those pleasures include Marilyn Manson’s Holy Wood album.

Greg’s eyes lit up and his mouth fell open at what Killian said. Love at first sight.

-Greg Sanders –he introduced himself and shook hands with Killian- It’s always a pleasure meeting someone who values metal music.

-Killian Hayes.

I was surprised to see that Killian didn’t introduce himself as a Special Agent, which is normally what they should do, but with Greg he did it on a personal way. Like if he wanted to meet him beyond the profession.

-I don’t know why but I knew you two would get along –I smiled at them and handed Greg the piece of paper with Pete’s blood- I need you to compare this blood with the black hair from the bead curtain. I need it ASAP, please.

-C’mon love, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee while we wait.

-I bet you can get it for free with that charm of yours –I said as I walked out the door that Killian was holding for me.

-You don’t like it? -he put his arm around my shoulders and brought me closer to him as we walked down the hall being the center of attention of my colleagues. I looked at his blue eyes and his devilish smile and forgot about everyone and everything around us.

We left the lab and went to a cafeteria that was on the opposite street, so we were close in case we were needed. We sat at a table at the back, by the window, and ordered two coffees. He ordered an Irish coffee, which was curious but predictable.

-Feeling homesick? –he raised an eyebrow and nodded slightly- How did you become an FBI agent anyway?

-Had some connections with the IRA. One day the FBI showed up at my door, offered me a deal to be their informant, I accepted and since I helped them take down the operation I started working with them until I got my position.

-That’s.. quite impressive, actually.

-What about you?

-I thought you were Sherlock Holmes, why don’t you give it a shot? –I dared him. Killian placed both arms on the table and stared at me.

-Divorced parents clearly marked by the absence of a father, broken home and growing up with different difficulties. Short-tempered and with a certain tendency to fight–I swallowed and leaned back- I’m sorry Laura, but you’re from textbook.  

-You’re right.. –I nodded with a certain sadness- About everything.

-Hey, it’s better to come from a broken home than to live in one –the waitress brought us the coffees, interrupting that beautiful scene- So, what was your method to get the rage out?

-Boxing.

-Suits you –he smiled like he expected that answer- Keep practicing it?

-Not since I moved here.

-Why’s that?

-Well, coming to Vegas was a new chance for me and I wanted a different life than what I had in Barcelona, so I left it all behind.

-In my opinion, I think you should box again. I’m going to give you some advice, Laura. You need to find something outside of work to disconnect. Anything. Otherwise, the things you see and the people you meet, they’re going to be stucked in your head. For a girl like you, with that kind of fire inside, boxing is one of the best options.

***

Greg sent me a message confirming that the DNA matched, which meant we had a search warrant. Brass, Sara and I got in the same car and we headed to the barber shop.

-Mr. Baxa, Las Vegas Police, open up! –Brass yelled while he knocked on the door- Looks like he’s not here. We’ll have to execute the warrant without him.

The police opened up the door and Sara and I handled the scene investigation. The barber shop was small, way too small to be a normal business, so we figured that everything had to be in his office. We found an empty financial portfolio with the spa’s logo on it.

-Those records we found in the victim’s oven are just the kind you’d keep in a binder like this –Sara concluded.

-Hey Sara, look what I found –I held the bag in my hands- Vegan blueberry muffins. They look almost edible.. and flammable.

Next to the office, there was a small room with shelves, but the first thing we saw was some boots on the floor. Sara picked them up and observed the sole of the shoe. It was similar with the shoeprint the intruder had left at Portia’s apartment.

-I wonder why they need so much acetone –I said to my colleague pointing to a 5L litter of acetone- Place is a little too masculine for manicures.

-Mmm.. Laura? Guess what my favorite city is.

I turned around and looked at the tool she picked.

-Denver.

Back in the lab, it was time to get some physical evidence of Pete’s tampering with the Denver Tool, since finding it in his office wasn’t enough. We needed him on the weapon that caused the fire and killed Portia. I had the tool on the table and everything I needed to search for fingerprints, when someone entered the room. I looked back and saw him.

-Hey Nick.

-Hey, how you doing with the case? –he asked when he stood next to me.

-Good, actually I was about to examine the tool that caused the fire.

-Can I help you with something? –he nicely offered.

-Well, if you want you can examine the portfolio –I pointed to the portfolio next to him on the table- I was going to do it after finishing with the tool, but if you help me that would be great.

-Let’s get to work then! –Nick put on some gloves and I looked at him with a kind look, thinking him for helping me.

With the magnetic powders I dusted all the parts of the tool, but there was only one fingerprint on the handle. I looked at Nick with a satisfied smile while he looked back showing me the portfolio with another fingerprint. We had both been successful.

-Now, let’s photograph them and run them through AFIS.

-So, ..Where’s the Super Agent? –Nick asked like he was interested.

-I don’t know, I’m not his mom.

-Yeah, I know.. I was just asking because you’ve been spending so much time together.

-Well, yes, we’re working a case.. together.

-I’ve worked cases with FBI agents and they haven’t been holding me in the middle of the hall.

I had never seen Nick react like this; he seemed annoyed and even jealous. Before saying anything, I stopped to look at him. He kept his gaze steady, jaw clenched and darken eyes.

-Nick, what’s all this about?

-About that you two should have a professional relationship. I understand that he’s handsome and charming, but don’t let that cloud you. Especially when he’s playing with you.

-Excuse me?! –I opened my mouth and took step back- What if I like him? What do you have to do in my love life? Do I tell you who you should be or shouldn’t be with? Besides, I think it’s funny and hypocritical that you advise me to keep it professional. Like you did with Kristy?

-I guess I had that one coming.

The sound of the AFIS search separated us from the discussion to look at the result. Portia’s fingerprints were the ones in the financial portfolio, confirming she took the papers and Pete’s fingerprints were the ones on the handle of the Denver Tool, confirming he started the fire.

As fast as I could, I went to Brass’s office to get an arrest warrant for Pete. I knocked on his door and when he let me in, I realized that both officers were in the office and looking nervous.

-Guys, I think I know what happened –I explained- Baxa was laundering money and when Portia confronted him about it, he panicked. Then he decided to rig the spa to explode. Portia probably showed up after Pete was gone. Doc Robbins said she had marijuana in her system, so she might not have noticed the acetone. While she was there burning to death, Baxa was at her apartment, looking for the records she was keeping.

-Laura –Brass made a dramatic pause- We have a visitor. Ms. Beatriz Salazar.

-You serious? She’s here?

-“The Queen of the Hive” herself just walked in and asked to talk to the CSI in charge of the Pedro Baxa case.

-Do you mind if I sit in on this one, Captain Brass? –Agent Huntby asked.

-Be my guest, you can even take my seat. I’ll hang back and watch from the viewing room.

Agent Huntby and I entered the room with some intimidation and fear, we couldn’t deny it. Agent Huntby remained standing while I sat across from Beatriz. She was a woman in her 50s, she had brown hair with highlights. Her suit clothes showed a scar on her chest from an open-heart surgery and a tattoo of a crow.

-Hello, Ms. Salazar. My name is Special Agent..

-Gene Huntby. I know who you are. But she.. –she looked at me with narrowed eyes- I am unfamiliar with. I shall presume you are the one persecuting my poor, clumsy Pedrocito?

-We’re not persecuting anyone. The evidence speaks for itself, ma’am –I wasn’t going to let Beatriz intimidate me- Why are you here? Usually. When someone wants to talk to us in this room, they want to confess. So, is there something you’d like to get off your chest, Ms. Salazar?

-You think you’re very clever, don’t you? –She got mad- Perhaps I know you better than I thought, but I’m here for Pedro. He’s family.

-Family, huh? You know, I might actually be moved by that, if you weren’t still the primary suspect in the execution murder of your first husband –Agent Huntby spoke boldly.

-My husband’s murderer remains at large, Agent Huntby –she smiled at him- Pedro’s family, all three of his sisters, they live in the house I provide. So, as you can see, I have s significant investment in the future and well being of this young man.

-Sorry about your investment, but, like I said, the evidence speaks for itself and it never lies –I spoke again.

-What precisely is this evidence saying to you?

-I’m not at liberty to discuss the specifics of an ongoing investigation.

-Very well, I understand. Sometimes a man is called upon to be more than he has been in the past. Sometimes he fails.

-A woman is dead because Pete Baxa was trying to clean up a mess. Do you think it was his own or yours?

-I think if this evidence is speaking to you, miss, then something must be lost in the translation, regardless of whatever mess there was, Pedro is incapable of violence. Pedro is not a murderer.

-You’re very bold to come here. Aren’t you afraid you’ll leave some trace behind? A hair or flake of skin? Something with your DNA.. that we might be able to use against you.

She looked at me with a sideways smile and then she spat on the floor.

-Wouldn’t want to make your job more difficult than it has to be. I believe I have made myself very clear to you. I shall not waste anymore of your time. Muchas gracias.

Beatriz got up from the chair, gave me a last challenging look and left the room. A few seconds later, we all met again in the hallway. When we were about to talk about what happened, Brass got a phone call.

-Two police officers came by to serve that arrest warrant again –Brass explained as we walked into the barber shop and saw Pete dead on one of his chairs- They found him like this. Called it in.

There was a video camera aimed right at him, so we hit the play button. Pedro was sitting in front of the camera making his confession.

-My name is Pedro Baxa. I am an embezzler.. and a murderer. I set fire to the Superla Spa in order to cover up the fact that, for some time now, I have benn fraudulently reporting its earnings –he really looked sad and sorry- I poured acetone all over, I cut the gas line, and left a muffin to burn in the toaster oven. I swear to God the place was empty when I rigged it go up. I know it’s small comfort, but I apologize to her family and to anyone close to her. I’m so sorry for taking her away. Please, tell my sisters this. I made a deal with the devil to keep you safe, to give you a better life. I beg you to remember me if you are ever tempted to make a deal of your own. So it’s come to this.. Good bye.

Pete Baxa put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

***

-So all the forensic evidence supports what Pete Baxa confessed to on the video? –Killian asked.

-Yes, it does. But Pete Baxa’s confession wasn’t for us.

-Neither was his suicide. I think he was trying to make amends.. to his Queen.

-Well, this case may not have resolved itself the way you hoped. Now, we’ll have to find another way to trap Salazar.

-Yeah.. and maybe we’ll trap her together –Killian nodded and looked at me. Noticing we were in the middle of the hallway, he got close- Look, I’m not leaving until tomorrow and I was wondering that maybe you’d like to have dinner with me. Now that the case is officially over.

Killian’s seductive and daring gaze was a force that attracted me to him. His hand brushed mine lightly and I couldn’t help but blush. There was no reason for what I felt when I was with him. So, when I was going to say yes, Nick appeared on the scene. He and Warrick were talking and laughing and then Nick realized that I was there with Killian. His face changed.

-I can’t. I’m sorry.

-I understand love –Killian nodded and approached me to give me a hug- Maybe some other time. I’ve left something in your locker accompanied by my phone number. Call me.

After that farewell, the first thing I did was go open my locker to get my things and find what he had left. It was the business card of a boxing club in Vegas.

[bellamyroselia]

I found an unfinished KI fanfic from my computer and some stuff in it was pretty funny

“It’s hard to get any friends when you’re only angel around...”

“And what about Dark Pit? Is he currently unobtainable or something?”

“Well, he doesn’t want to fight right now, so... I guess he is.”

- Pit and Palutena

“Saltwater springs do indeed exist.”

“They do?!”

“Didn’t you just say you found one?”

-  Palutena, Pit and Dark Pit

“Hah! I only speak the truth and if Palutena thinks she’s so much better than me, she should come down here and challenge me herself!”

“... Challenge accepted, mortal.”

-  Arachne and Palutena

“It’s not like you have to. Dad never told mother about Dionysus and it turned out fine.”

“Palutena, mother killed Dionysus when she found out where father was keeping him and his heart had to sewed to father so he could be born again...”

“... You know what? You’re right. That was a terrible example.”

-  Palutena and Ares

“Hey! I thought this was about your daughter, not about that who has the biggest harem or horde of children.”

 -  Palutena

“I don’t know what responsible parents do!”

-  Ares

“You youngsters, always bored because there’s supposedly nothing to do...”

“You’re getting old, auntie Palutena.”

“You take that back!”

-  Palutena and young Nike

“You truly are a one big softie when it comes to your children, aren’t you?”

 -  Palutena

“Are you sure this isn’t about that golden apple? Because it sure does sound like it is...”

“Shut up.”

-  Hermes and Palutena

“You know what Discordia? You take your job way too seriously.”

“When I’m with you, the job practically does itself.”

“I hate you.”

“That’s a one strong word, Palutena! You can’t truly mean that, insulting your own dear sister like that-”

“You caused that problem in the first place!”

 -  Palutena and Eris, who’s referred by her Roman name

“Who’s Pyrrha?”

“... Please tell me you’re joking.”

-  Palutena and Pandora

“I did always found it weird that he just came out of nowhere. I should’ve guessed that dad was on it again.”

 -  Palutena

“My snakes are much cuter than hers.”

“... He sure lives up to his name.”

“He’s not wrong.”

-  Erichthonius, Medusa and Palutena

“What happened to our sweet baby brother?”

“... I was killed. Do you really need more reasons?!”

“Fine then, don’t tell.”

 -  Palutena and young Dionysus

“How was your day?”

“I must say auntie, I didn’t expect to save so many people from their own stupidity today.”

-  Palutena and Phobos

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, maybe you could make an argument about his hair resembling that of a black-maned lion. They too seem to have a horrible case of root growth.”

-  Palutena and Deimos about Phobos

“I’m not going there alone Lucina. And don’t forget that I’m smart.”

“Palutena, you know that’s highly debatable.”

 -  Palutena and Eileithyia, who’s referred by her Roman name

“And what’s Poseidon going to do? Put me on a trial?”

-  Ares 

“That rings hollow considering that dad isn’t your only brother. And it’s not like my aunts are all that smart either.” 

“Are you insulting me?”

“Maybe.”

 -  Nike and Palutena

“For the last time, I’m not going to do your dirty job! Get rid of your mother yourself!”

-  Viridi to Phosphora

“You do have some experience about killing giants, don’t you?”

 -  Palutena about to make Artemis cry

“What’s that in your hair?”

“It’s dried blood.”

“But why-”

“Oh, there’s luxury urns with hot springs and rivers in them? Well, apparently giants can only afford cheap knock-offs then!”

-   Palutena and Ares

“Why you’re acting like this?”

“Oh shut up you old hag, you’re not my mother!”

 -  Viridi and Aphrodite

“All this happened because of her?!”

“She’s my mother. I couldn’t let them hurt her!”

“She caused this mess! Why are you protecting her!?”

“...You know what? Fine! It’s not like you understand any of it because you never had a mother! You could never understand the bond between parent and child!”

-  Palutena and Ares

“Bath bomb!”

“Brainfart!”

“Traffic-light-eyed freak!”

“... Is this why childhood is important?”

-  Palutena, Aphrodite and Hermes

“So sweetie, could you please explain why you don’t like Viridi?”

“Apollo told me she’s going to ruin my wedding!”

-  Palutena and young Harmonia

“What’s the point of having wings if they’re useless?!”

“Sweetie, it’s because you haven’t learn to fly yet. All you need is practice.”

“I have to do what?”

-  Palutena and young Adrestia

“I don’t know how to read yet.”

“Don’t worry, sometimes I think your father doesn’t know that either.”

-  young Adrestia and Palutena

“And why do you think so?”

“Because unlike you, I have every-man-appeal.”

-  Palutena and Aphrodite

“That has a lot of sexual energy in it. Are you sure these are for warfare?”

“I knew you were a freak Palutena, but what made you think that anyone would ever use bows and clubs in bedroom?”

-  Palutena and Aphrodite

Why is that import god still here?!”

-  Apollo about Pyrrhon

“Can things get any worse?!”

“I founded a city and got married!”

 -  Viridi and happy-go-lucky-drunk Dionysus

“Your descendants don’t count as your children.”

“Pothos and Himeros are my sons.”

“... Fine, you win this round.”

-  Palutena and Ares

“How did he manage to fit Thanatos into that small box?”

“Really? That’s what you’re wondering?”

-  Ares and Palutena 

“Angels aren’t allowed to get married, is that right?”

“What? Of course not! What made you think that?”

“Well... Actually, now when I’m thinking about it... Nobody would want to marry Adrestia anyway.”

-  young Harmonia and Palutena

“What’s scarier than a bomb?”

“According to your sister, sex is.”

“Things like these are why I don’t understand what Cadmus sees in her.”

 -  Deimos and Palutena

“You look a lot like their deceased son.”

“... What?”

-  Palutena and Dark Pit

“Young lady, explain this blasphemy right now!”

“She pays me better. It makes everything much��easier.”

“For the last time, it’s not my job to pay for you!”

-  Palutena and Adrestia

“He’s adorable. What’s his name?”

“As if I would tell that to you, brainfart.”

-  Palutena and Aphrodite

“Hey! If you’re dumb enough to throw a tortoise, it’s your fault if it hits you on the head and you die.”

“But who threw the tortoise?”

“Hawks. They do that on a daily basis!”

“But they can’t throw, only drop...”

“And I saw when a hawk dropped a tortoise which lead to a death of a philosopher. Nature is scary.”

 -  Zephyr and Pit

“I have two girlfriends because I’m a better lover than certain others.”

“If that’s so, what about-”

“He’s a playboy.”

-  Zephyr and Palutena

“Honestly, I’m surprised that this hasn’t happened before. I guess all you needed was little help from mortals.”

“That sounds so morbid when you put it like that...”

 -  Palutena and Pit

“What was he even doing?”

“My guess is that he tried to make Viridi proud, but got drunk.”

“Because of you?”

“He’s a danger to society when he’s sober!”

-  Palutena and Hermes

“Then be thankful you haven’t heard stories of certain gods or mortals.”

“Like who?”

“Trust me Pit, you don’t want to know.”

-  Palutena and Pit

“Oh, so when lions do it it’s ‘sad, but normal part of life and we shouldn’t interfere’ but when I do it to a city that stopped worshiping me, I’m abusing my powers?”

-  not-so-happy-go-lucky-drunk Dionysus 

“Oh don’t you dare! I’m going to make you...”

“Make me what, suffer? You can’t kill me and even if you could, you wouldn’t be able to make it painful.”

“That’s it you little son of a-”

“Children, TIME OUT!”

-   Macaria, Phobos and Palutena

“I’m this close of sending him to Underworld.”

“Aren’t you overreacting a bit? He’s grieving...”

“And it’s getting on my nerves! He must get his fiancee back!”

“... A stone just dropped from my heart. Thank heavens.”

-  Apollo and Palutena

“Who names their child ‘breath of life?”

“It says ‘soul’, idiot.”

“You’re both wrong, it actually says ‘butterfly’. But they’re all practically the same thing so I don’t blame you for confusing those words.”

“Somebody isn’t telling the truth here.”

 -  Pit, Dark Pit and Palutena

“It wasn’t me! It was my body!”

-  Pit

“Hey! What do you think I am, a monster?!”

“Well, you do have six limbs...”

“I have six limbs?!”

“Palutena, did you teach him anything?!”

-  Pit and Apollo

“Lady Palutena, is he always this angry?”

“No, just when someone rejects him. He doesn’t take it well if people don’t like him.”

 -  Pit and Palutena

“You should be careful. Those sheep could kill you otherwise.”

“I figured it out myself. Do you have any advice that could be useful?”

“Well, there’s those thorn bushes there.”

 -  Dark Pit and Psyche

“That’s... Disturbing.”

“That’s rich coming from someone who locked a girl into a house full of invisible people.”

- Pit and Dark Pit

“So that’s why you refused to talk about it earlier? Because goddess of light was no match to goddess of beauty when it came to beauty?”

“Pit, this is your last warning.”

“And I have no questions about that anymore.”

-  Pit and Palutena 

“Come on ants! It’s time to eat the baby bird.”

“Baby bird? What baby bird... Wait, I’m the baby bird aren’t I?”

 -  sober Dionysus and Pit