#they’re old and crotchety gays
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My versions of Security Breach Bonnie and Foxy 🦊🐰❤️
#fnaf#five nights at freddy’s security breach#five nights at freddy's#fnaf bonnie#fnaf foxy#captain foxy#fonnie#bonnie x foxy#glamrock chica#glamrock freddy#freddy fazbear#montgomery gator#roxanne wolf#fnaf roxy#I love middle aged t4t#they’re old and crotchety gays
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Types of People in a JW Congregation
The professionally-trained(?) opera singer; always extroverted, with a booming laugh, and is either a super nice person, or the most passive-aggressively hateful son of a bitch you’ve met in your life. If they’re a guy, he’s an elder; if they’re a lady, she’s an elder’s wife
”Promising” young brother (fourteen-year-old mic handler) who has such a suave voice, it sounds like he’s recording an audiobook any time he opens his mouth; probably can’t carry a conversation to save his life
Group of plump old ladies who always sit in the back and wear fancy suits with matching hats; they have arms like a hydraulic press and will crush you when they hug you
That one brother you swear is a closeted gay man because he wears loud suits, bow ties, and has all the stereotypical mannerisms; but then he gets up on the platform and says the most homophobic shit ever; usually really nice, not necessarily because he actually is, but you feel that way because you feel sorry for him
Five-year-old who gives disturbingly articulate comments and is probably hyperlexic (reads their parents’ words off a card and gets all the credit for it); householders think she’s adorable and she places literature without trying it it’s a me
Old crotchety elder (or group thereof) who likes to fuck with the mind of one specific guy for a prolonged period of time, to the point of giving said guy severe health problems; has driven at least five people out of the congregation and/or out of this mortal coil
Young People who present “The Truth” in such a new, hip, and cool way, it’s physically painful to listen to
Mother who nudges their kid to answer and whispers what she wants them to say in his ear, word-by-word; said kid always sounds like he was just awoken out of a dead sleep
The elder’s wife who smiles too much; probably bursting at the seams to gossip about you
Super Witness Wife and her unbaptized mate who you could have sworn was already a ministerial servant; they’re both really fun, actually
Middle-aged pioneer with seventeen studies who’s dying from stress; usually ends up having some kind of mental breakdown or health concern
The POMI who shows up once in a blue moon; visibly dissociated from reality
Keepers of the Bonfire Party (probably old and/or wealthy, with a forest for a backyard)
That One Sister with a questionable hairstyle who everyone lets slide because she’s a pioneer; has dyke energy
Quiet single person who never comments and always leaves immediately following the prayer; either everyone wants to talk to them, or no one seems to like them and ignores them, depending on how old, attractive, and visibly neurodivergent they are
Person who will talk both your ears clean OFF about Jehovah and how he “helped” them; seems happy but is severely depressed and you‘re very concerned about them
Group of kids who all talk about watching Naruto and Marvel movies in the company of each other; they seem PIMO, but they’re so unafraid about their spiritistic tastes that you can’t tell
Witness family who thinks all modern-day media is demonic, and only watches, reads, and listens to old stuff; the whole family seems like they’re suicidal; there’s definitely more abuse going on than meets the eye
The ten-year-old unbaptized publisher who admits to staying up all night on their tablet because they can never get to sleep before 1:00 AM, but gets nervous when you ask what they were doing on said tablet; probably browses gore websites and reads about methods of torture to feel something and/or reading My Book of Bible Stories got them into it
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I'm a mcspirk enjoyer with a particular enjoyment for the spones of things, like you, n i was just curious on if you've shared your thoughts on how the relationships develop? like, in my mind, after maybe a week of panic after bones arrives at the understanding he wants to be with spock, and after trying to flirt with him n getting nowhere comes clean bc he's an old man and doesn't really have the time nor emotional energy to go dancing around with things, while i think kirk would take absolute years to come to terms with any of his feelings. i don't think people give bones enough credit in his relationships, he's been married twice n got at least one crew member to date him so like . i dunno. don't see him spending months pining, he might not be logical like Spock but he's not inefficient either.
but most people seem to think spirk would develop first n i personally don't see it. I dunno, I feel like kirk would feel too conflicted in his role as a captain to really persue anything til years later, very possibly after the third st movie. and spones r a package deal so now he's with both of them and they have a three member Vulcan wedding or whatever.
anyway those r just my thoughts n i wanted to hear yours too!
Okay, I wanna preface this with the fact that we have super different perceptions of Spones even though we both ship it. I just want you to like, mentally and emotionally prepare for that before I get into it. Also sidenote, Bones isn’t an old man he’s just crotchety lmao. He’s only a couple years older than Spock and 3-4 years older than Jim, he’s just Like That, an old man in spirit I suppose.
Bones may have been married twice before but hey, Jim was married once, and Spock was almost married and hooooo BOY those marriages all failed. And I really don’t think it’s because they’re all gay or that they’re all soulmates, but rather because they definitely got some personal issues to work out!! Issues they’re each uniquely suited for each other to stabilize.
The short answer is this
Spones (and McKirk, and even Spirk) Cannot Exist Outside of The Triumvirate Dynamic Until Post TMP (and even then, they refuse to separate)
The fundamental thing from which the entirety of TOS is built upon is that Jim and Bones and Spock all each need each other, and destabilize when they’re apart. When Spock breaks the Triumvirate to leave for Kohlinar in the time between TAS & TMP, Jim becomes emotionally unstable and bitter, and Bones retires, he can’t help Jim on his own. McKirk cannot exist without Spock’s logic to stabilize their individual emotional volatility. Although of the three pairings, its l the easiest for them to stay on good terms because they were friends before Spock and at the very least don’t hate each other after he parts ways with them.
Bones is a primary driving force that keeps Jim & Spock’s relationship stable because he’s incredibly emotionally intelligent. He’s the one who encourages (or in Spock’s case, goads) them to be honest with their feelings. He knows that they need each other, even if he probably highly underestimates how much Jim and Spock need him because Spirk is the one that gets all the soulmate clout. He is the quietest, strongest proponent of the two of them staying together of all. Spirk almost completely falls apart when Spock finally chooses logic so vehemently, that Bones cannot stop him.
Then Bones and Spock… oof, talk about volatile. They are some incredibly acrid, petty, vindictive bitches (affectionate) without Jim to stabilize them. They’re like, two flavors that taste nasty together without the main ingredient, their relationship curdles without Jim’s influence. Although they’re AMAZING for each other when he’s there as an intermediate. They are the absolute worst to each other when Jim’s not around, and both (especially Spock) would be too stubborn to apologize without their mutual affection for Kirk to heal them. Even if they’d still care about each other, there’s too much contrast and resentment for a stable friendship. Jim helps Spock & Bones “kiss and makeup” just purely with the love he has for them both, and the affection they both have for him. It saves their relationship time and time and time again in TOS.
None of these relationships are sustainable in a romantic sense without the third person involved in the relationship, whether you only ship one of these, or all of them individually, or McSpirk wholesale. McKirk wouldn’t get and stay together without Spock, Spirk wouldn’t get and stay together without Bones, and Spones would be totally unsustainable without Jim. At least until they figure out this one, simple truth. Something they only really discover through their getting back together as a trio in The Motion Picture.
They all need each other.
I don’t think, of the three ships that compose it, Spones could happen first, McKirk probably, Spirk maybe, but not Spones. Even then, if McSpirk is the endgame, I don’t think the other confessions would be too far behind the first pair if you get what I mean.
#star trek#Star Trek tos#Star Trek tmp#star trek the motion picture#spock#s’chn t’gai spock#Jim kirk#James kirk#Captain Kirk#dr mccoy#Leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#spones#spirk#mckirk#mcspirk#the triumvirate#tos#tmp#shipping#Star Trek meta#meta analysis#answering asks#lar trek
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Kawaki Academy Arc: Hana
So this episode was mostly about Himawari's teacher Hana, although we got to learn some stuff about the students too.
Contrary to her character design, Hana has no relation to Sai, Yakumo Kurama, or any of the other painting-type shinobi. She's a clumsy wind user who perpetually sounds like she's on helium.
So she's invited some special instructors to teach the class: Boruto, Sarada, and Mitsuki. Ehou's mind immediately sees it as a networking opportunities. He says you have to get connected to get ahead, because if you get the wrong sensei or team, you may never get a chance to make it to jonin or even chuunin.
It's sad that civilian kids have to think so cynically when they're young, especially while rich kids like Hima can stay innocent, but it's definitely realistic. Props to the writing team for that subtle commentary.
Anyway, Team 7 takes the kids to the gym for some demonstrations. In true little brother style, Boruto gets in Kawaki's face and acts obnoxious. Kawaki kicks him away, and the two start fighting in class.
Poor Himawari just mutters "this always happens." She knew those two would embarrass her the moment they were in a room together.
While Mituski is showing a lightning technique, some of the little kids move for a closer look, because like moths to a flame, they have no sense of self-preservation. Hana wind-blasts them of the way before one of them can get electrocuted, but instead of being a badass moment, the kids whine and she apologizes.
Next up is a bit of product placement, I mean team-building. Boruto brings enough burgers for half the class, then says they have to fight over them. They can go anywhere on campus, and whoever has the red balls by the end of the period wins the burgers.
But since it's peacetime, none of these children know how to fight, so it becomes an awkward game of tag.
(Unrelated note: I apologize to Harika for insulting her fashion sense. Other than the aviator helmet, her outfit is actually put together well. She even has a cute purse...or maybe it's a bug-carrying sack like Shino and Shibi used to wear. Who knows?)
Mimi, who I misgendered last time and is actually a girl, is the only child who thinks "Hey, maybe instead of fighting we should go visit the vending machines." Ehou decides this is AGAINST THE RULES, even though as Soul (girl in red) points out, the teachers never said anything against scavenging.
He confiscates Mimi's candy bar, and soon the whole class is fighting over whether poor Mimi deserves chocolate. Despite Hana's efforts to calm them down, the class splits up, with Ehou and Soul leading each side. Everyone except Kae and the Uzumaki kids boycotts school because they don't want to study with "the enemy."
In one of Shino and Anko's little peanut gallery conversations, Shino concludes this lesson must have been "too advanced" for children who haven't learned about teamwork yet.
The crotchety old man in me wanted Iruka to come down and remind these kids that if they don't come to school, they can't graduate and become ninja. But instead it becomes Hana's duty to bring the class back together.
She approaches both ringleaders to coax them back to school. Soul apparently idolizes Gai-sensei to the point that she has his picture in an old-fashioned locket. So Hana personally sewed Soul a hideous spandex uniform for her to wear. Soul understandably refuses, saying she admires Gai's skills, not his fashion sense.
I'm calling it now, this girl is the new Tenten: a snarky mom-friend who is obsessed with taijutsu. She's skyrocketed in my personal tier list for this class.
Hana bribes Ehou with ramen and a Hokage speech. She then sends out mysterious invitations to each student. They all show up at school, and she announces they're having a cherry blossom viewing party.
The kids point out that it's not the right season for cherry blossoms. She has the kids close their eyes, and then suddenly petals are raining down from the sky. As a viewer, I thought this Hana's chance to step out of Team 7's shadow and show off her fancy genjutsu.
But actually the petals were paper. She was just using wind jutsu to blow the petals around like a fan. But everyone agrees it's the thought that counts.
Soul and Ehou confide in Himawari that they mostly came out of pity for Hana-sensei, since even though she can't do anything right, she still tries hard.
On one hand, that's pretty brutal after Hana visited them both personally for a pep talk. On the other hand, Hana tripped over a rock and needed Himawari and Kawaki to catch her. She also burned the lunch she cooked for the students beyond recognition. So it's a little understandable why the kids doubt her competence.
The last shot shows Shino asking Boruto if he'd like to be a guest instructor again, and Boruto nopes out of that quickly. He's seen how brutal these kids can get. Genocidal aliens he can handle - petty preteen drama he cannot.
#boruto 263#hana sensei#himawari#kawaki#soul#ehou#harika aburame#mimi inuzuka#shino-sensei#the shipper in me wanted to see more interaction between Shino and Hana#but at least we get to see him acting like a competent senpai
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So im making this young pre-OT Luke Skywalker playlist right now and it made me think about how many reddit-type fanboys think he's whiny and over-emotional
But I never really got that vibe from him. I mean first of all, he's 19 in A New Hope, and in his early to mid 20s in Empire and Jedi, and have y'all ever met a 19-25 year old who wasn't still a bit emotionally unstable? With everything he's been through, I'm actually amazed at how mature he is for his age. He could've easily cracked under all that pressure, but he grit his teeth and braced his feet and stood strong to the bitter end. And I recently watched the OT again for the 500th time in my life because I was showing it to my sister, and I didn't really see him complain all that much, and he definitely didn't whine.
Sure, he was a bit hesitant and freaked out his first time on the Falcon and it made him a bit jumpy, but he also like, just saw his parental figures brutally die, his childhood home destroyed, and in two hours he's making his first ever trip into space, cut him some slack. He was having a recordly rough day. I'd say that was just some light acting out from all that emotion he was forced to bottle up, and I REALLY don't blame him. Fuck man, I'd be catatonic if I were in his position.
Other than that though, I think people perceive Luke as whiny and over-emotional because he doesn't really fit into this hyper-masculine role that most other male leads fill in mainstream cinema. He's shown crying on screen in every single OT film for starters, which is extremely rare for a male lead. He's not super built or tall or toned or muscular, he's more of a short king with a lithe figure and this really soft face with a bit of meat on his cheeks. He's also not an emotional brick wall like men are kind of expected to be. You know what Luke's feeling at every moment because it's written all over his face and his body language, and he's open to a fault about it.
I think that's why he's perceived that way tbh. Luke is very antithetical to what the typical Hollywood male lead is expected to be, which in itself is a product of toxic masculinity. Men aren't allowed to be emotional outside of anger and stoicism lest they be mistaken for homosexual (homophobia is also a massive part of toxic masculinity, which I think is why I love the gay Luke interpretation so much; it just makes him this all-encompassing spit in the face of most if not all aspects of toxic masculinity). But Luke has this really wide emotional range that mostly leaves out anger and stoicism. Even in ROTJ when Palpatine is trying to tempt him over to the dark side, he SAYS he can feel Luke's anger and hatred, but you can't really see that on his expression. It's not stoic either, Luke's "anger" seems to come out as this hesitant conflict that gives him sad eyes, not raging ones like Anakin had in the prequels. Luke doesn't seem like he'd be capable of feeling genuine anger, honestly. And when he does snap in that fight with Vader, it feels more like a cornered mouse with nothing else to lose jumping at a predator for its life, not vengeful wrath. Luke only snaps like that when he absolutely has to and has exhausted all other options.
And another thing-he shows genuine affection and joy for his friends! And PHYSICAL affection!! He runs up to Han and Leia and Chewie just to give them hugs and smile with them, which almost never happens with mainstream male leads in films like these. They're always portrayed as brooding and tortured, but Luke lets himself be happy and show his friends how much he loves them, which is super rare in film.
I really love the healthy masculinity Luke is shown to have in the OT and I think that's also why I really hated his characterization in TLJ. It felt like they were trying to make him that brooding, tortured male lead when it just doesn't fit him. He wouldn't be crotchety and mean like that of he had to endure tragedy, he would be sad and hesitant to get close to anyone because he knows he can't close his heart off to other people even if he tries. He would hold Rey at an arm's length, not bear his fangs and actively shove her away.
Anyway, yeah. I think reddit fanboys see Luke as whiny and over-emotional because unfortunately, men have been so trained to be unemotional brick walls that seeing an average-looking man show actual, healthy emotion feels like being whiny and over-emotional at best, and a threat to their own masculinity as worst.
I just really love how healthy Luke's masculinity is though, I could write papers on it
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LotR Reread: FotR Prologue & Chapter 1 Reactions
The first time we tried this reread discussion group, I voted “mathom” (meaning any object which one has no use for but is unwilling to throw away, the likes of which tend to accumulate in houses) for Hobbit Word of the Day, and so I was especially delighted to re-discover that hobbits call their museum in Michel Delving the Mathom-house.
“It beats me why any Baggins of Hobbiton should go looking for a wife away there in Buckland, where folks are so queer.”
“And no wonder they’re queer, if they live on the wrong side of the Brandywine River.”
Obviously Tolkien was using the old definition of queer, but this still made me cackle. If I may do so as a straight, I humbly propose “from the wrong side of the Brandywine River” as a new euphemism for being gay.
I’m very impressed that the Shire requires only twelve law enforcement officers to keep the entire place in order, and that they spend most of their time wrangling farm animals that escape their pens. Hobbits might have some exceedingly petty disagreements at times, they might be very suspicious of anything even a little out of the ordinary, and they can certainly hold onto grudges, but none of that ever seems to get too far in the way of them being cheerful and helpful to each other.
Gaffer being a little wary of Bilbo teaching Sam to read amuses me. I love the implication that being literate can bring a lot of trouble and adventure with it. It’s probably true, but well worth the risk, in my opinion. There is definitely more to life than cabbages and potatoes.
Okay Bilbo is the OG troll (except not quite as OG as Gandalf, who out-trolls him). He knew exactly how confused and annoyed his entire extended family would be by him disappearing in the middle of what was supposed to be a brief, obvious, complimentary speech, and he was going to laugh to himself for hours over it if Gandalf hadn’t watered it down with that big flash of light.
More of Bilbo’s trolling: his sarcastic gifts. Empty bookshelf to the guy who never returns borrowed books, the rest of the silver spoon set to the lady who’d already stolen most of them, lovely letter-writing equipment for the guy who never replies to letters, and a wastepaper basket to the cousin who sent him endless unwanted letters, in memory of them. So good. Bilbo is the best. I’m so glad this crotchety little codger overcame the Ring’s pull in the end.
#lotr reread#lord of the rings#fellowship of the ring#quarantine reads#participate here or on LJ#our community is Hobbiton Reading Society
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“I could lay your throat bare.”
“oh, but you won’t.”
(please for the love of god click for quality)
more on these jerks under the cut
alright lemme introduce yall to my two old crotchety assholes, dietrich (left) and maverick (right)
they hate each other but begrudgingly work together
dietrich is kinda like your bigoted great uncle that no one wants to invite over for the holidays, only hes also your landlord so you can’t really avoid him. god help his poor lesbian daughter. hes basically the only character in my whole series that could be read as cishet (though tbh it is still debatable).
maverick is that one guy that wants to seem super socially aware but is actually a terrible person. he has a serious god complex and is responsible for dozens if not hundreds of deaths (dietrich has a few under his belt too but not nearly as many).
they have the exact same eye color, and most of their fur colors match as well. they're designed to be opposites in every way: species, upbringing, politics, colors, personality, everything. but they’re equally toxic and harmful people, especially when put together. kind of a yin yang but absolutely catastrophic.
dietrich is extremely blunt and aggressive, while maverick is sly and works in the shadows. dietrich was born into his power while maverick charmed and killed his way to the top. dietrich is driven by tradition while maverick detests it. dietrich cares only for his family while maverick has plans to change the world.
dietrich’s anger manifests as brute outbursts; maverick’s more of a manipulation and quiet disposal kind of guy. fire versus ice. animalistic violence versus something terrifyingly human.
both have the same fatal flaw: they believe that the only way to protect something is to control it.
they’re the two major villains in my WIP series, chasing rivers (which, feel free to ask me about bc i would love to infodump. its about a whole bunch of gay canines living post-human extinction)
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fun ideas for npcs:
Druid who prefers to be in giant snake form all the time, draped gloriously over the boughs of an enormous tree to sun their scales, gives information about the land around & people passing through via their “keen prophetic sight” but rly just gossips with their sibling who likes to be a giant eagle
lizard person who is a trader who literally coughs up the items u buy after u pick it out of a rather well drawn catalogue
a brood of tiny lizard folk who speak in a cool creepy unison. they live in a cave system & are more than willing to honestly show u around so long as u have fun things to trade & stories to tell. bards do particularly well as the lizard people really enjoy music
a dragonborn librarian who is incredibly dry in both word & body, constantly flaking off scales & boring the fuuuuuck out of people. if the players listen long enough or ask the right questions, however, usually has some rly good information
adventure npcs aka ppl with quests for u:
incredibly old man who wants the players to steal smth from a garden on the opposite side of town. turns out the garden belongs to a handsome elf, probably abt the same age but obviously looks much younger, & the old man believes the fountain is the fountain of youth. the elf is either as crotchety & bitter abt it as the old human man & is like oh yeah?? oLD mister plotchley can go fuck himself, or they’re like lmao poor guy sure u can take the fountain
flustered herb witch who lost an enchanted ring & needs ur help finding it. incredibly gay, cannot function, it was intended for her partner so she could propose & she’s Very upset. plenty of lovely flowers
smug girl with a smug smirk always, very confident, kinda charismatic despite the fact she’s so smug like ur into it yknow? gives INCREDIBLY specific prophecies but it’s rly expensive
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2 and 3 please! Hikari for the 2nd question!
shipping questions | accepting
Assuming these are referring to romantic ships or else it’ll take me forever and a day to answer.
2. NOTP(s) for your muse?Oof. Disclaimer: I don’t care if you ship something I don’t like. You do you, man, and don’t let the fact that I don’t enjoy it stop you from enjoying it. That said; live and let live, if you like a NOTP of mine or dislike an OTP of mine, I trust that you’ll have the same view and respectfully let me do me.
Hikari/Cynthia - I simply have never been able to fathom this. Hikari sees Cynthia as a mentor, maybe even a big sister; in almost every timeline, she’d regard a romantic relationship with Cynthia as being emotionally incestuous and Hika is such an ingrained muse for me that I can’t help but dislike them as a romantic pairing, too.Saturn/Anyone but Cyrus, Mars, or Hikari - My own personal hang up that has to do with the emotional baggage my Saturn is carrying around. The answer to this used to be “Saturn/EVERYONE” and then very very gradually broadened to include the three listed. Note, however, that Saturn/Hikari alone isn’t really a thing, it’s always an ot3 with Cyrus.White/Cheren - They’re just. It’s another “way too close to family” situation except even worse because they grew up together. I just can’t see it romantically, I’m sorry.Shelly/Tabitha - nopes right outMaxie/any protag - 1) he old. 2) he a crotchety alcoholic who doesn’t deserve anyone but archie. 3) him got such a boner for archie man (I will, ftw, entertain the idea of other ships with Maxie but I’ll warn you now that you’ll have to get him past What Could Have Been with the Bae)Lysandre/Sycamore - More emotional incest plus discounting the fact that men can have intimate friendships without automatically being gay there’s a rant here don’t mind me please
3. Which canon muse(s) do you currently ship with?hika is a ship bike though I think this kind of depends on how one defines “currently shipping”. If we’re talking a ship that is currently active with another mun, then technically no one although we may be eventually hinting that way (@eideticdoctor ). If we’re talking that I personally actively ship them, then it’s always going to be, in order: Hikari/Cyrus, Hikari/Riley, Hikari/Barry, Hikari/Volkner. If we’re talking a ship that is technically active but does not involve another mun; Hikari/Cyrus/Saturn ot3 is canon in Hikari and Saturn’s normal USUM and beyond timeline.
As for other characters just in case you wanted to know!!! Candice and @asoulwithflairClair and @soulbxnd / @soulmxssMaxie and @oceanicstasyJasper and @perpetuallyadriftKorrina and @rottenrhythms
GIVE ME MORE SHIPS GOD DAMN IT
#tw akahika#tw satahika#I don't remember the english shipnames#i'm very sorry#tbd (shipping)#look with your heart (m: hikari)#女と男のララバイゲーム (m: candice)#色っぽい じれったい (m: clair)#七転び八起き (m: korrina)#devil take the hindmost (jasper)#co.no.mi.chi (m: maxie)#レディーマーメイド (m: shelly)#永久の歌 (m: white)#今すぐ飛び込む勇気 (m: saturn)
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And here’s the FFV version of the meme I’m sure no one will ask me about. This includes characters who were technically bit npcs (that one joke pirate in love with Faris, the queen of Karnak) but had little in the way of characterization apart from a few lines and tantalizing hints in the books.
Fun fact: I’ve had these OCs for 20+ year and am reusing them for Dragondance and other current FFV works, but they’ve gotten a bit of a modern polish now--Ridha is no longer related as closely to canon characters, Ben’s interest in Faris wanes because he’s gay and Faris says she’s a woman, Yllesia Karnak is now Polymja Yllesia Karnak and a bit more hot-headed than she used to be due to some statements from the books.
* Note: because Ridha is intersex and nonbinary, and always has been, their pronouns are often fluid. Usually I’ll use they/them, but also he/him. I should note, for the internet concern trolls, that not all intersex people identify as nonbinary, and not all nonbinary people are intersex. Ridha just hates being pressured to conform one way or the other, especially given who his parent originally was before I realized how fucking mary sue that was.
What OC has the biggest family? How do they get along? Polymja has a Habsburg-grade extended family, which she doesn’t always get along with. The one exception is Lenna, whom she adores.
What OC has/is a mentor? Expecting any of these people to be mentor-grade is a tall order. Ben’s fairly good at being quartermaster, though, so he might work out as one. Ridha, being a young cousin on the Highwind side, wants to be a dragon scholar for a family that lost all its dragons and most of what they can do is lecture from books they absorbed.
What OC has a huge group of friends? Ben is probably the friendliest of them, which makes him great quartermaster material.
What OC has a small, close group of friends? Ridha gets on best with smaller groups of people and would be at home in the Ancient Library
What OC has, like, one friend? Polymja is a queen who had to fight sexism to get her way and is not very inclined to trust people.
What OC is the Mom Friend? Ben, haha.
What OC really needs the Mom Friend around? Ridha, being a young teen in a family that mostly went insane after the Dragon War slaughtered the dragons 50 years before, could really use anyone attentive. So, naturally, they cling to Lenna once Lenna adopts them.
Which OCs are an old married couple (literally or figuratively)? I’m cackling over any of them being with each other. Ben’s gay, Polymja’s lesbian, Ridha is still trying to figure themselves out, and Merrick hates everyone and is old enough to be Ben’s father.
What is your favorite platonic relationship between your OCs? None of them are really that connected.
What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs? Given that Ben was Ridha’s father in the original, um... that, I guess? But they barely know each other in the revamp.
What is your favorite romantic relationship between your OCs? None of them is ever going to be into each other.
Which two OCs are the most different from each other? Polymja and Ben. Polymja likes to go her own way, Ben is always going to be a quartermaster at heart and think of himself as one of the crew.
Which OCs complement each other the best? Given that Ben used to be Ridha’s dad, er... them, I guess.
Which OCs get along the best with each other? Ironically, given that Merrick often borders on being a cantankerous bastard at the best of times, that would work well with Polymja’s distrust of everyone who isn’t family. However, they’ve never even met.
Whch OCs get along the worst with each other? Merrick is such a crotchety old pirate captain that he would never get on with Ridha, who’s largely independent.
Which OCs don’t know each other, but would get along great if they did? Polymja and Merrick. They’d appreciate each other’s distrust.
Which OCs don’t know each other, but would hate each other if they did? tbh they all have better things to worry about.
Which OCs would make the worst couple? Not to worry, they’re all such different ages and orientations that it won’t happen.
What’s the strangest way two (or more) OCs have met? The only two to have actually met are Ben and Merrick, and Ben was a deck hand on Merrick’s ship up until Merrick had a heart attack. My OCs tend to serve the story.
Which non-related OCs have known each other the longest? Ben and Merrick
Which OCs knew each other the shortest time before becoming close friends? New version: Ben meets Ridha postgame and kinda adopts him
Which OCs spend the most time together? Ben worked on Merrick’s ship for about 10 years
Which OCs have fought with each other the most? None, really? Of the two that actually knew each other for very long, Ben knew his place on the ship and it was to follow the captain’s orders, and Merrick was the captain.
Do any OCs have friends they haven’t met in person? Pre-internet society. Nope.
Do any OCs have imaginary friends? Except for Ridha, they’re all adults
Does OC have a hard or easy time making friends? Ben has the easiest time making friends because he knows he has to go along to get along.
How did OC meet their best friend? A nice lady in Tule told Merrick that Faris needed a companion her age, and Merrick’s pilot had an available nephew. And yeah, 5-year-old Faris did not want a babysitter, but she and Ben did get to be friends eventually.
How did OC meet their worst enemy? King Gelon of Tycoon decided to marry his daughter off to some country bumpkin instead of Polymja, who was princess of Karnak at the time. She met Alexander during the meeting over how to punish Gelon for conquering Walse and disliked him for being chosen to marry her crush since.
How did OC meet their significant other? If OC does not have a SO, do they want one? Merrick met his husband in a pub brawl over... who even knows anymore.
How does OC get along with their parents? Version 1 Ridha worshiped his parents. Version 2 doesn’t get the parenting he needs, so he latches to his cousin Lenna.
Does OC have siblings? Do they get along if they do? Do they wish they had some if they don’t? Merrick lost his much-loved siblings in the conquest of Carwen by Gelon Tycoon and has hated the royal family since. Polymja used to have a brother she didn’t like very much, but he died of mysterious circumstances (mysterious as in: please look up Charles II of Spain, because I find the Habsburgs fascinating in a trainwreck way)
Does OC have or want kids? Ben might want kids, but he’d have to adopt. Merrick considered Faris his child and gloated over the fact that he managed to steal a child of Tycoon and claim her as his own.
Is OC/Would OC be a good parent? Ben would actually be a great dad.
What is something unusual OC has bonded with someone over? Polymja encouraged Lenna’s tomboy streak as a child, as she was one herself
What is the most important relationship in OC’s life? Merrick actually did get to become slightly less of an asshole with Faris in his life. Something about having responsibility for someone who had no options.
How has OC been affected by their friendships? The only reason Karnak and Tycoon got along at all was because Polymja was willing to set aside her animosity with Alexander for the sake of his wife and their daughters. Maybe Polymja may have never consummated her love for Lessandra Tycoon, but they were always very close before Lessandra died of complications from Habsburging.
How has OC been affected by their family relationships? Ridha vs2′s parents being distant because intergenerational war trauma is a hell of a thing, they’re a very private person and has trouble trusting people until they’ve proven themselves.
How has OC been affected by their romantic relationship(s) or lack thereof? Ben’s love for Faris is, yes, a running gag in the game. But even after it fades, he’s still a loyal friend and will follow her to the ends of the earth.
Who does OC consider they have learned their most important life lesson from? Merrick learned not to be such a bastard from Faris, so there’s that. He might blame her family for his family’s death, but she had nothing to do with it.
Who motivates OC? Lenna moves Ridha to open up and accept people into his life
Who would OC do anything for? Polymja would have done anything for Lessandra. She will do anything for Lessandra’s daughters, Lenna and Faris.
Who would OC do anything to not have to deal with? Merrick wants absolutely nothing to do with any sort of royalty, thank you. Royalty’s nothing but trouble.
How does OC meet most people? Generally, Merrick meets them either in a pub or when he’s boarding their ships to assess his winnings.
How long does it take OC to open up to people? Most of them, very slowly. They’ve all got a bit of trauma, but Ben is probably the quickest to open up because he recognizes the need for community.
How much do OC’s friends know about their private life? Merrick kept the fact that he was a trans man to himself, his husband, and Faris. That’s it. When he died, Faris took charge of dressing the body to keep anyone from finding out.
How does OC act differently after they know someone better? Ridha can be very talkative and friendly when they finally get to open up with someone. Ask them about the Highwind clan’s dragon lore and they’ll go on for hours.
Who is OC’s favorite person? Lenna is Ridha’s favorite person, because she’s so sweet to them and gives them the attention a teenager really needs from a parental figure.
Who is OC’s least favorite person? Polymja absolutely loathes the king of Walse for being a little shit when they were kids and dismissing her love for Lessandra as something she’ll grow out of once she finds a man. Actually, the quickest way to get on her shitlist is to ignore that she’s a lesbian and suggest she find a man.
Is there anyone OC used to be very close to, but no longer is? Polymja and Faris used to have a whirlwind affair that died quickly.
What aspects of OC have, consciously or unconsciously, come from someone else? Ben gets his ability to stand up for himself from Faris’ frequent adolescent clashes with Merrick.
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its really weird to think comparatively about where the discourse is in different fandoms tho like. in the silm fandom lately there is (was?) the elwing shitshow, and of course the background pro/anti-feanorian drama, the pro/anti-valar drama etc, but like.... meanwhile, no one seams to care that almost everyone is into sexy dark lords. like. radio silence. i think i saw something once or twice and started freaking out but everyone just ignored them. i likewise haven’t seen a lot of actual drama over who you ship with whom (aside from the rare crotchety old canon fundamentalist being like “TOLKIEN WOULD NEVER HAVE MADE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE GAY” yeah ok ima continue reading this gay feanorian smut tho. but they’re mostly just yelling into a vacuum.)
meahwhile, make one post about elwing
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Distant Places (All These Things I’ve Done)
@sumigakure Halloween Event 2017
Prompt 15: This Town Isn’t What it Seems
Prompt 12: Character finds out they’re a Supernatural Creature
Word Count: 15944
Rating: Mature
WARNING DESCRIPTION OF PANIC ATTACK
On AO3
“Here we are Kakashi.” Sakumo sets down the final box in the gekkan; the rest are stacked pathetically, clinically in neat rows across part of the length of the hall. His son looks around silently, moving ninja quiet around the room trailing Fluffy and Pakkun behind like mismatched lion dogs from the front of a temple made flesh. His heart constricts heavily in his chest, everything about the scene painfully wrong. The neat and orderly boxes, the pervasive ringing silence, the way his genius son was simply nonverbal and constantly huddled in his mother's oversized scarf. Chiasa should have been here, should be laughing and teasing and failing to parse out her own handwriting on the boxes even though the boxes were always mislabeled and it wouldn’t matter which one was opened first anyways.
He breathes in deep, slow and even like the military had taught him when he was in basic training, like the therapists taught him when the world was too overwhelming and threatening to drown him alive, and tries to let go. Chiasa had probably befriended all the dogs (or wolves, or foxes, or hyenas, or whatever canine she stumbled across) on her way through the Earth God’s Halls, leading a massive pack to the Lady of Death to await judgement and reincarnation. Four Almighty, she’d probably act as advocate for the dogs to be reincarnated into better lives, fight the Lady of Death herself. It wouldn’t help any to clutch desperately at her soul with his regrets; she deserved to go in peace after so long without, deserved better than to be tethered to this world to turn into a vengeful ghost instead of journeying on to the next life. He has things to focus on here and now, does not have time to dwell on the past and what is irreversible. Breathe in 4, breathe out 7, and turn to the future.
“Kakashi, would you like to light the flame?” The lamp had been the only item he had carried outside of a box, the thing he had Kakashi place first in the shrive alcove by the fireplace in the living room. It should have been the first thing done, the flame lit and the prayers of blessing sung while smudging incense and lavender through the house, but Sakumo hoped the Fire God would give them a pass. Funerals and mourning were in there on the list of the Interdictions, right, where allowances were made for not strictly following the ceremonies and rituals? Kakashi nods, and barely touches a finger to the clarified butter soaked wick before it sparks up and burns true. Sakumo takes out the jasmine incense Chiasa had loved, and lights a stick to place inside the incense holder, then passes the item to Kakashi. “Once round the house, in all the rooms, and round the garden too. You don’t have to say the prayers, thinking them is fine,” Sakumo is quick to add that last bit. The therapists said Kakashi would speak again when he wanted to, and to not add pressure of speaking before Kakashi was ready on his own. Three deaths so quickly, one right after the other, deaths of people they were both close to; it was a lot of grief to process no matter how long ago it happened, and it didn’t harm anyone to let his son work through it like this. Kakashi nods and goes off, still trailing Pakkun like a vigilant shadow. Fuzzy settles down in the hall with a quiet boof, and he softly pets her cloud white head before getting on with his tasks.
He’s just getting done with scrubbing down the still and sweep of the front door when Dai finally gets there. “Sakumo!” He’s enveloped in green and toned muscles before he can think about it. “I’ve missed you, my old friend.” Sakumo doesn’t answer, the words are unnecessary; he loosens the tension of his frame and hugs back. Clings to the solidness of Dai and the easy affection he offers, the warm port in the storm of his emotions churning like the wine-dark sea. Sakumo’s suffused with gratefulness; it was a good idea to move to the new Ranger station here with Dai, even if the job was technically to watch over some academic as they handled ... something .
It’s above his paygrade to worry about, anyways, since all he needs to know is that the government is very interested in making sure whatever the project is is kept quiet and delivered to the military upon completion. It’s a stable, relatively non-dangerous position that means he can stay with his son and process the most recent loss, that of his wife without worrying about being shot by the enemy. Especially since his senses have been going haywire recently. Sakumo can smell that Dai had an oat kale banana almond protein shake this morning, had hugged someone who smelled like him yet subtly different and someone not - Gai, most likely, then Hisako- and paused somewhere with a lot of minerals. It bothers his nose, and Sakumo has to pull away to sneeze several times in quick succession to clear out his sinuses. Dai, of the same school of thought as their late C.O., whacks him heartily on the back, “There, there, get it out of your system.” Because sneezes originated in the chest and needed to be gotten out like a cough, according to Old Butsuma Senju - he had treated his lung cancer the same way, and died of it, the crotchety old bastard. As if summoned, Kakashi materializes at the base of the stairs, gaze unwaveringly on Sakumo and shifting on his feet like he wants to drift closer but doesn’t know if he should, if he would be welcome. He'd begun hovering over Sakumo at the slightest indication of illness too, but Sakumo didn't mind. He knew he'd do the same, probably would with the chill of the fall setting in given Kakashi’s penchant for catching colds.
���Come on in Dai,” Sakumo offers, slowly making his way down the hall towards the kitchen, only pausing to ruffle Kakashi’s hair. Kakashi pushes up into the touch momentarily, then brushes by to retreat into the living room. Fuzzy turns her head just so, creating a depression where Pakkun can trip himself into, curl up snug and warm in her fur, and such that she can keep an eye on Kakashi. She’s never been trained in childcare, just picked up on it naturally, instinct running high when Kakashi was born and has kept up ever since. “I’m sorry, we don’t have much yet, I have yet to make it to the grocery store, but I can make tea?”
Dai waves him off, “Don’t worry about it; I’m here to help you unpack and settle in.” Dai pushes a slim emerald green box tied in black ribbon across the corners. It rattles ominously, probably amythest, a piece of amber, malachite, black jasper, and beryl - stones for healing, for strength, for emotional cleansing and stability. Good stones for mourning, good stones for the shrine, to remember by. “Hisako is going to bring Gai and groceries later today, so let’s try to get at least the ground floor cleaned and set up.” Of course Dai would bring a traditional gift, and of course he would make nothing of it. Wouldn't even repeat the ritual phrases because Dai knew Sakumo hadn't found any comfort in them the first time with his father, or the second with his mother-in-law, or the third with Chiasa. It was uncool to do something when you know it wouldn't help. Didn't go with his nice guy aesthetic. Sakumo swallows down a choked sob, inhales for a count of 4, exhales a count of 7, and focuses on the task of setting up a house.
“I was hoping to scrub down the floors and refinish them, at least while the floors are bare,” Sakumo offers in return. Dai will hear what he isn’t saying, that he’s restless and needs the physicality of labor to keep himself here. Dai’s not a stranger to Sakumo’s bouts of depression, of his techniques for self-care and processing emotions, been on the receiving end of his need to clean and organize many different times in their long friendship. Wallowing has never done anything for him, and right now he could use a distraction from the awful grasp of sadness rolling around his skull.
Dai nods after a moment of careful consideration. “We’ll need to put up an iron horseshoe over the door first - local custom - then we can go to the hardware store for scrubbers, wood stain, and wood wax. The Doctor’s lab is right there, so I can introduce you then as well.”
Sakumo hasn’t heard of the iron horseshoe superstition in anything but faerie tales, “You’ll have to appraise me of all the local customs, then.” It’s been years since he last heard one of those stories; Kakashi had quickly and effectively demonstrated his disdain for anything lacking in canine characters in stories as a child, and once he had figured out how to read, well, it was hard to lie about which characters were dogs when Kakashi could figure it out with a quick glance at the page. Dai strikes his signature ‘nice guy’ pose, and Sakumo hopes there’s a guide, if Dai is striking his pose of ‘working hard and showing results’. Maybe the locals are just really old-fashioned and uphold long-dead ancient traditions?
The hardware store has eclectic ‘home security’ and ‘home improvement’ sections, an anachronistic array of modern and old items that constitute some value of security or improvement from salt lamps and iron to seals and normal electronic security measures. Sakumo wisely doesn't comment, because he's here for the foreseeable future and making enemies with the hardware store is a slippery slope to having the whole town against you. Local business owners are the ones to be in good with, especially in small towns out in the forest. He's looking forward to a long continued relationship with them, and his life.
He leaves Kakashi, Pakkun, and Fuzzy on the porch of the Doctor's office, a repurposed house, because while he doesn’t want to leave his son with only canine care (as excellent as it is), taking his son into an active research lab is probably really low on the scale of Do’s and Don’t’s of parenting. Dai grins broadly, then raps loudly on the door. It’s scaled in iron, and the window boxes were full of primroses. An interesting choice of decor, but eccentric academic types were wont to be ... eccentric. Idly, Sakumo wonders about the forest that seems to mix so closely with the town, like the buildings were built in little pockets in between trunks and roots, almost something out of a high fantasy setting. Seriously, this looked like something out of the Lord of the Rings movies.
“Hello, Hunter. It’s been a while.” Someone somewhere has stomped all over Sakumo’s grave, given the shivers crawling over his spine. He knows that voice, and still has flashbacks to that time in Yu no Kuni, with the absolutely crazy people being chased by two known wanted hitmen trying to ransom them. Of course he would run into one of them, that was just his luck.”You’ve aged well. Very well.” Fuzzy is standing, hackles raised but not growling. Those piercing, assessing eyes that have only grown more alluring and more bright with time finish perusing Sakumo and flit over to the corner. “And Wolfy too. Hello, Wolfy. How are you?” Fuzzy whines, high and confused, but still poised to move. The Doctor makes no move to touch Fuzzy though, which Sakumo has to begrudgingly give him props for knowing better than to touch a conflicted and scared animal.
The pale, golden-eyed one leans languid in the doorway, long hair tied back into a high ponytail and there’s a smirk that screams mischief to Sakumo. His first thought is beautiful , second breathtaking , and third is oh no . He tenses, ready to move - ready to flee - because he distinctly recalls a decade ago as being a massive FUBAR SNAFU even for the Rangers. An International Incident, more wreckage than the World Wars, and sexual harassment by a minor. The only saving grace had been finding out their targets had been taken care of by some academic type via experimental seal.
Dai is either ignoring the awkward or exhibiting restraint - “So you’ve met Dr. Benzaiten before Sakumo! That’s great!” - or he’s oblivious. Sakumo sighs, and tries not facepalm. “This makes things so much easier!” Sometimes he has to wonder how Dai even made it into the Rangers, given the branch’s clandestine activities, but then he remembers that Dai is a hand-to-hand specialist who’s managed to take on people who were bullet- and magic-proof and win.
The good Doctor snickers. It’s not mean, or at least it’s not at haughty and demeaning, but honestly amused, “Doctor Orochimaru Benzaiten, PhD. You must be the new Ranger assigned here.”
Sakumo notes that the good Doctor doesn’t offer his hand to shake, or give any form of pleasantry. It might be hard to face someone you’ve perpetrated a crime against, he supposes, even if it’s a decade later. “Major Sakumo Hatake, Army Rangers. I am assigned here, yes, specifically to you.” It might be petty to restrain himself from minor pleasantries as well, but mirroring is a form of politeness. In like, Uzu no Kuni, or something.
The silence that stretches out after that is heavy, the Doctor eying him speculatively, Dai grinning and Kakashi doing his best to hunker down behind the still wary Fuzzy. A glittering purple head rises up from what Sakumo thought was the Doctor’s neckline - now he can tell the scaled bit isn’t a collar, it’s a live snake - and tastes the air. The Doctor strokes slowly over the viper-diamond head, contemplatively, like he’s listening closely to something no one else can hear. It stirs the air enough that Sakumo’s nose is hit with conflicting information: dust, chemicals, Dai, flower-scent, and the smell of dried scales. He sneezes twice rapidly, if only his damn sensitivity to smells would settle down already!
“Oh? Captain Maito, do see that Major Hatake is caught up on the local ...peculiarities. It will not do for a military man to be ... caught up in the local ongoings, after all. I’d hate to have something occur that can’t be fixed.” The Doctor slowly continues to stroke the snake’s head, sashaying his sharp purple eyeshadow and dangly iron earrings back through the door with a perfunctory snap shut. Sakumo tries to parse if that is a honest warning, or a subtle threat. It sounded like the Doctor is trying to say something important, but Sakumo’s missing most of the relevant puzzle pieces.
Dai smiles confidently, “I think Dr. Benzaiten likes you! He actually spoke to you instead of glaring, snarking, and/or trying to make you out to be incompetent.” Which might have something to do with their last encounter, where at least two out of the three things Dai just mentioned happened. Sakumo and Dai step off the porch, Fuzzy herding Kakashi and Pakkun along and bringing up the rear.
But, “Did he try that with you?” Sakumo’s willing to swallow his own reservations about the Doctor, especially because it’s his job to do so, but if the Doctor was mean to Dai for no reason, then he’s absolutely going to write back to Command and tell them about the Doctor’s nonsense. All of it. The previous incident was well documented, appropriately filed, and it’d just take a word to have the Doctor’s record black marked for sexual harassment.
Dai levels him a clear-eyed stare, the same one Sakumo had gotten before Dai had slapped sense into him when Sakumo had worked himself into a nervous wreck right before his wedding to Chiasa. “Sakumo, I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t handle a sarcastic child. There are worse things out there than a snarky academic, you and I both know it.” He has to accept the truth of it though, the time with the Daimyo’s daughter was in fact the worst , not even for the treachery and number of bodies she created unnecessarily. A pretty, snarky academic really is nothing in comparison to having to toss still warm bodies into a volcano to hide the evidence. “Besides, we still have a house to clean. Lucky it’s small, right?”
Small, while generous as a descriptor, still means there’s a lot of scrubbing and cleaning to do. The last layer of wax barely dries before Hisako and Gai arrive, and then Hisako informs them that the rooms need to be repainted and anti-pest sprayed before they can even begin to think about living there. Sakumo thinks there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the bare off-white walls, but Hisako is as much a force to be reckoned with as Dai when she’s set her mind on something, so off they go back to the hardware store for paint.
It’s dusk and the town looks completely different. There are figures who pass by like shadows, build up in the streets, that Sakumo only gets glimpses of in the gaslight. Perhaps they are people who work normal jobs, and only just now get to complete their chores for the day? Brigadier General Senju often complained of that, when she was single, and so did many other single coworkers. Balancing getting off work tiredness and the need for food and other household chores was always difficult.
There’s a small platform in the middle of the central town square, front and center of a series of benches.Some people are congregated at the benches, talking softly, milling out patiently and with expectation. “Dai, what’s going on here.” Sakumo tips his chin in their general direction, trying to be discreet. Some of the shadows Sakumo could half see in the corners of his eyes raised the prickling feeling he’s always gotten when danger is near. Sakumo doesn't know what to call it, but there's a tingle in his spine that says something is off.
Dai flicks his eyes to the groups, to the various forms about, some hooded, some veiled, and murmurs sotto voce , “We have a lot of people who live in the surroundings, and this is the only town in a 50 mile radius to have a paved road to get in goods. They come in once or twice a week, but usually on days the Headman has announcements or open forum.”
“Headman?” Maybe Dai should’ve taken Sakumo to meet the Headman instead of the Doctor today; if things were this small town mentality, then the Headman was the man to meet first. The military tended to be formal about things like that after all, especially with military researchers based in backwoods places.
“Dr. Benzaiten. He’s the main person who fixes things, after the last Mayor’s gristly death,” Dai mistakes Sakumo’s look of alarm, “Oh, that was a long time ago. Really, before our time, back when the Doctor first came here with his teacher to do some research. According to the locals, there were a bunch of lightning and thunder storms, and other weird happenstances, but the Mayor ended up dead.” Dai holds up two different paint color swatches. Why in the name of the Fire God Dai thinks Sakumo desires blood red walls or forest green walls is a mystery for the ages. Sakumo holds up a pale silver grey color and a toasted wheat bread tan swatch. Dai vetoes them immediately with neon pink.
The man at the counter leans over, his full beard both glorious and intimidating in its sheer size. The urge to throw the regulation handbook at him is fierce, but civilian and hardware store owner . “Good riddance to bad business, uh. That Four-damned sonovabitch was up to his neck in the Twelve Hells’ business; he didn’t get nothin’ that weren’t already comin’ to him.” He draws his right hand across his eyes in a clawing motion, ripping off the glamour evil places over sight so that the person can’t tell right from wrong. Air God follower, then. Unusual for a hardware shop owner, but Sakumo wasn’t one to judge, since for all that the family name was Hatake he was sheer shit at earth magic. Much to his training sergeant’s eternal horror.
Dai shrugs, “It was noted that it could have been murder, but the overwhelming consensus was ‘Act of God(s)’ and left at that.” Because nothing said Bad Idea like investigating God meted justice. He presses the first three fingers of his right hand to his chest clawed, and drags away. No one needs the God’s Eyes on them for good or ill; God attention never ended well for anyone involved.
The bearded shop owner eyes Sakumo, “You the one who moved in on Old Woman Kayano’s place, uh?” He blazes on, before Sakumo can answer, since it’s either stamped across his forehead or the small town rumor mill’s been busily at work within less than 24 hours, “Earth God Bless her soul, she didn’t have a lick of sense the Four gave sheep, wouldn’t listen an’ got herself got, uh. Tell you what, that place needs more than a lick an’ spit shine, real fixer upper, I’ll give you the discount.” He quickly selects a series of colors from the proffered swatches, and mixes them. “You’ll want salt an’ iron nails too, uh.” The man nods knowingly, like this is the most basic thing Sakumo will need in order to repaint his house. “Headman’ll be ‘round later in the week to set them up right an’ show you how, don’t think nothin’ of it.”
Sakumo’s head is spinning with the rapid-fire information dump, plus the idea of letting the Doctor into his house, a place for his family, “Ah. My tha -”
The man slaps a hand over his mouth faster than Sakumo can blink, their faces drawn together uncomfortably close, “Right, up and forgot you ain’t got the run down quite yet, uh. Don’t go throwin’ around the ‘ank-thay ou-yay’ phrase or the like, some folks ‘round these parts are quick to drag that into a life debt, so mind. You’ll be fleeced of everythin’ you hold dear, uh.” Dai nods enthusiastically, so it’s either just this one person’s quirk or it’s an actual thing. Given the circumstances and Sakumo’s luck, it’s probably an actual thing, which meant - nothing good, Holy Fire God’s Flame. The man lets go but doesn’t end the eye contact.
“Are these people that dangerous?” He can’t say his heart isn’t beating faster in alarm, since this is precisely the sort of thing that ought to have come on the mission parameter memo, and not a ‘local customs to be assimilated to’ bullet. Life debts haven’t been a thing for the last 400 years! And even then, they were usually invoked when someone actually saved your life, or someone near and/or dear to you.
The man stares deeply into Sakumo’s eyes. And very slowly, with great emphasis, nods. Just once. Then he deliberately hits the total key on the register, letting the ka-ching of it processing echo in the space. “That’ll be $60.46 ryo, uh.”
Sakumo pays, and stumbles out under the weight of the paint tins. Thank the Four for whomever invented paint and primer in one, for the amount of paint carrying they’ve saved him. They walk quickly, facing forward, idly discussing what color ought to be begun first - Sakumo thinks the pale Iron blue needs at least one coat today, since it’s the most pigmented, but Dai thinks they should finish the halls and powder room due to square footage. The town square is still busy, with more people flickering as shadows around the edges. Sakumo can see the Doctor speaking emphatically with someone in a deep emerald cloak, clearly annoyed but maintaining socially required politeness. They pass close enough to see the cloaked figure - surrounded by other figures tense with barely leashed energy - and hear her clear wind-chime voice snap with relentless wrath, “If you will not find and be rid of the whore-begotten mongrel I will have to do so myself .”
The Doctor’s voice is cyanide sweet, dripping with venom and danger, “Lady, there are a thousand things you need to do yourself, but I caution you that this is not one of those things you should consider within your purview to act upon.” There’s a veiled threat in there, one Sakumo can read in the Doctor’s face more than the words - one that promises a painful reckoning if the woman finds and - given context, probably murders - whomever she’s deemed a ‘whore-begotten mongrel’. “Furthermore, you yourself were quick to claim you had ended that ‘mulatto half-breed’s existence’; are you saying that you failed to accomplish your own deed? My, my, Lady, which is it?” For whatever reservations Sakumo has from a decade ago, he cannot fault Dr. Benzaiten’s approach to handling this woman, who he finds less and less pleasant with each passing moment.
The woman snarls, “Watch yourself Headman,” but the rest of the confrontation is lost to Sakumo as he and Dai pass out of hearing range. Sakumo can still smell the group though, ash and smoke, fallen leaves, sunlight, moss and bark, and something acrid that burned. Something festering and fungal, waiting to lash out.
“Who was that?” He’s not looking for trouble, not really, but that was a clear and distinct threat and he’s got a sinking feeling that perhaps that is the sort of person the man at the hardware store was warning him about. He sneaks a look back, and the crowd has grown, the Doctor an unwavering pillar against their roiling, nearly unleashed rage, like a dark bulwark of light against the monsters in the shadows. He catches glimpses of fantastical outlines, antlers and twigs, and it must be something backwoods, small-society cultural to have such elaborate headdresses and accoutrements to their outfits.
Dai grimaces, “They live around somewhere, and show up sometimes. Usually to talk to Dr. Benzaiten, or make a bargain. I’ve never heard someone else give them a name, as a group, but they make everyone uneasy.” That Dai hasn’t discluded himself is a massive red flag - Dai did his best to get along with everyone, after all. “Now, to paint! Yosh!” He bounds up the front steps with vigor usually found in men half his age.
Sakumo sighs, and decides that he’d best concede the halls and powder room for painting if he wants any sort of sleep before going into work tomorrow.
Day two in town has it’s perks - namely, the coffee machine in Dr. Benzaiten’s lab, and the many tissue dispensers, because there are so many conflicting smells his sinuses ache - and the ability to ask questions. “Was there ever a reasonable resolution to the ... discussion last night?”
Dr. Benzaiten pauses in soldering electrical wires together, mouth hidden behind a sterile mask but his liquid gold eyes narrowed, evaluating, then widening. “Hold this.” He passes over a piece of quartz, milky white and occluded, gloves powdery still with nitrile. “You’re fire right? Or rather, lightning?”
Sakumo is taken aback.“Er, yes?” He’s not sure what his magical affinity has to do with anything, but Small Lords of Ash and Smoke, eccentric academics are eccentric and Sakumo has nothing to lose by indulging something so minor.
“Good, I need that charged. If you would.” His ponytail waves like a hypnotic onyx ribbon as he moves and maneuvers bits and pieces of electronics, wires, and various magical tools or various magical uses, and Sakumo idly wonders if it’s as soft and silk-like as it looks. “As to our... out of town friends, they are well aware that their previously overlooked ... activities are no longer so overlooked and have consequences.” Dr. Benzaiten’s eyes crinkle in what would be amusement if it weren’t for the dark satisfaction lurking in their depths. “Though that does remind me,” he fishes through a pile of papers offhandedly, before unearthing a pamphlet, “there is a guide to the general local quirks, especially in regards to our oh so friendly neighbors. Most of it boils down to ‘Don’t’; they have some ... antiquated ideas about equivalent exchange.”
Sakumo decides it’s not worth derailing the conversation to discuss if that’s a Fullmetal Alchemist reference. “Is that why everyone gives them a wide berth?” He hands over the softly glowing crystal, and watches the sinuous grace with which Dr.Benzaiten pops it into a device and pushes various buttons. The machine whirs to life, fan whirling and spinning buzz that Sakumo has to forcibly phase into white noise. Perhaps he should see a doctor again, his ears have started to become more sensitive as well.
Dr. Benzaiten tilts his head consideringly, assessing something of the readout, before shrugging elegantly, “Some people willingly interact, but their social norms are more strict than ours, and they often get themselves entangled in affairs well above their ability to handle.”
“And then you have to fish them out.” The man is a decorated academic and researcher with the best University in the Elemental Nations, he’s got little to no other reason to be a Headman of a sleepy - for a given value of sleepy, since apparently the neighborhood is full of people who consider murder fair play - hamlet in the backwoods - literally! Literature levels of murder in the wrong end of the Elemental Nations! - of Hi no Kuni.
“And then I fish them out because they are mine and our neighbors aren’t allowed to mess with what’s mine.” And the decorated academic is possessive. Good to note, as it raises questions about where Sakumo stands. Highly uncomfortable questions. “Do try not to get yourself involved though, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and all.”
Sakumo isn’t going to argue the point - it’s true and he painfully knows from experience - and tucks the pamphlet into his uniform jacket for later perusal. How much could ‘Don’t’ cover anyways?
The door to the lab is knocked at rapidly, and then the assistant, Nawaki, sticks his head in. “Dr. Benzaiten, there’s been - ”
“Who was it this time, Nawaki? If it was Youko, please go tell her I refuse to -” Dr. Benzaiten doesn’t look up from where he’s returned to soldering connections on a breadboard.
“Noboru. It’s Noboru. Please, sir, it’s urgent.” His grey-green eyes don’t waver, even when Dr. Benzaiten bolts upright, eyes alight with anger and righteous indignation.
“Major, I won’t be back in the laboratory today, please take the rest of the day off.” It’s phrased like an order, like the ones Butsuma Senju used to give, that made everyone hurry to obey, and on instinct Sakumo nearly dos the same. It takes a moment to recognize that he’s heard wrong, and that checking that his sidearm is holstered is the wrong action to be taking, even though it’s perhaps more expedient given. The men are hurrying towards the door, and Sakumo hurries after them.
“This situation, are you sure you won’t need backup?” Sakumo’s a military man, always has been. He’s good at achieving the best outcomes, and he won’t leave someone in trouble when he’s capable of helping. Especially if it’s as urgent as this sounds.
“If I thought you impeccable aim and impressive ability to track would be of any use, Major, I would be telling you to come along. As it is, you aren’t versed in the protocols and you have a small child yourself. About the same age as Noboru. Go home to your son, Major, there’s nothing you can do here.” With that, the Doctor and his assistant rush out the door.
Unfortunately, Sakumo hasn’t gotten to where he is in life without a good bit of skullduggery, skulking, and snooping. And while he’s entirely sure he is completely able to follow Dr. Benzaiten and Nawaki without being spotted, noticed, or otherwise caught, there is one thing universities and the government are better at doing than the military - paperwork. And Dr. Benzaiten is a researcher in Experimental and Theoretical Magic, which means he must keep a detailed log of everything. Thank the Fire God and all the Small Lords for red tape.
Dr. Benzaiten is one who keeps everything in handwritten logs. Small blessings. It’s nothing to use the master key access he has for his own needs to access Dr. Benzaiten’s office, to find his logs. And while Dr. Benzaiten writes in a shorthand that’s as complex and near as impossible to read, almost worse than nearly-completely faded Ancient Scripts, Sakumo had minored in Ancient Scripts for a reason beyond its use in code breaking. There’s nothing better than writing a senior thesis on the regional and dialectic variants of the shorthand for certain elements in spell writing that ends up having uses later in life. Because Dr. Benzaiten is definitely using a southeastern Mizu no Kuni regionalization, the Marsh Witches High Cant. Last Sakumo had heard, that was a matrilineally passed language, and also long extinct. Out of academic interest, he copies a few pages, but keeps an ear trained on the noises in the office. He absolutely does not need to be caught.
It seems at least once a week there’s mention of ‘’thrs’ or ‘o’t’rs’ - Cant for outsiders, those who are not of or belonging to a Witch, with belonging originating in terms of vassals but here more likely to mean the regular townsfolk. Much mention of the ‘Peer High One’ - the leader of the neighbors, then, since the Witches failed to recognize male leaders unless they were vassals of another Witch - and her casual cruelty. No mention of what she’s been up to though, just that she rules with an indiscriminate iron fist - Dr. Benzaiten makes mention of the woman taking out her whims on her own vassals - and something . Fire God and all the Small Lords, Sakumo can’t tell if the word is smudged, miswritten, or something completely made up.
His senses sting, muscles freezing as his ears prick at the slight sound of footsteps limping forward on wood - there’s someone at the door. Sakumo can smell blooming blood, and the tangy-fizz of magic, and something wild . He reflexively calls up his magic, because Dr. Benzaiten wouldn’t end up here if he was covered in that much blood, so whomever has gotten themselves here is either a badly wounded friend or a blood covered foe. “Hello?”
There’s no answer for a moment, and that’s worrying in all the wrong ways, until, “Doctor? Are you here?” That voice is definitely neither Dr. Benzaiten’s nor Nawaki’s, but something akin to an older woman’s only more soft, more weathered yet clear and solid and nothing like the sharp shard sound of the leader of the people who live outside of town. Sakumo cautiously opens the door, and starts. A woman, his age, or not much older, pale and nearly blended into her dog’s grey-white fur.
“Ah, Doctor, Takao’s been - you’re not the Doctor.” Near instantaneously, he finds himself at the end of a blade and staring into grey-nearly-black eyes, the same as his and his son’s.
“I’m working with Dr. Benzaiten. You said your dog was injured?” He won’t begrudge the woman seeking aid for her dog. Not when he himself has needed help to care for Fuzzy when he has active combat duty and she’s been injured.
“Takao’s taken a nasty hex to the side, I’ve done my best to keep it from corrupting more of his flesh, but I’m no medic.” Together they both support the massive beast into the lab, the poor dog visibly flagging with the effort needed to limp along. “I didn’t know what else to do, the Lady is raging so, and none of the others would dare disobey her or undo her handiwork.”
“But you did?” She’s right, this is a nasty hex, something slowly leaching Takao of life and energy, destroying his muscles and ligaments. Sakumo’s seen similar though, in the bloody genocide in Mizu no Kuni a few years back - an awful, prolonged, painful way to die - but there’s a salve. One some Inuzuka with the 5th regiment had made up, that smelled like fresh shit combined with fermenting fish and rotting corpses but worked .
He’s fumbling around his belt pouches - he has several vials of the stuff, since it works on most hexes by dint of being every anti-hex ingredient in a paste - when she speaks measuredly, “I am both her most trusted lieutenant and the one she distrusts the most. For all my loyalty, she only sees daggers in the dark or what would amuse her best and pain me most.” As he applies a thick coating of the salve, she wrinkles her nose and gags, “Earth God’s fertile soil and its bounty, what is that?”
Sakumo is inclined to agree - somehow the smell is worse that he remembers - and has to breathe through his mouth to stop himself from puking. “Salve, good on hexes.” He accidentally inhales through his nose and has to fight the tumultuous roil of his stomach attempting to rebel. “I still need to channel magic through it to make sure it penetrates the tissue properly and removes all the contamination.” To Takao, who has been laying on his side patiently, panting and whimpering his pain but not moving, “You’re doing so good boy, I’m almost done, then you can rest okay?”
It takes a touch of magic only to activate the properties, fire, not water, to burn apart the bonds the hex uses to latch on to the body, uses in order to leach energy and life in order to feed its own. Water and it’s life won’t help here, no, fire needs to burn out the infection and that takes precision.The white-haired lady is hovering but motionless, and it prickles every instinct of his, to not bare the back of his neck to a stranger, to someone he does not recognize as his leader, and it’s easy enough to distract himself from such old intrusive thoughts, “Can you not depose her?”
She hisses startled, “Don’t even speak of such things! Even here the Lady has ears waiting to report back what was said and done!” She holds her elbows, arms crossed yet spine straight, a commander wearing her strength like armor, though a plate or two is clearly cracked and her vulnerability is showing through. “Is it done?”
Sakumo has removed as much as he could - the rest will burn out and off in the next few hours, but that will continue even after he stops running his magic through the salve. “It’s done. Let me wrap the area, and then you can be on your way.” He softly pets Takao’s head once more in silent praise, feeling vindicated when the dog pushes up gratefully into the press of his hand, then gets up to fetch the bandages from the first aid kit. Dr. Benzaiten could stand to lose a roll or two or linen gauze; he’s stocked for a small war.
When he gets back, Takao blearily opens his ice blue eyes and noses at his wrists, whining lowly. The woman cradles his large head and whispers in his ears as she runs her hand down his neck soothingly. He finally ties off the bandages. “Leave them on for a day, just to be sure that the salve has completely gotten rid of everything.”
The woman and dog rise, the dog listing and the woman obviously supporting him. “I will not forget your kindness, wolf-souled one. I owe you a life debt.”
The alarm bells in Sakumo’s head are ringing wildly, Dr. Benzaiten’s warnings running through his head. He has to bite his tongue to stop himself from telling her it was nothing, wracks his brain to think of something, anything to say. Finally he settles on, “Sakumo. My name. It’s Sakumo.”
The woman smiles and it is warm and softly sunlight, “Sayaka. And this one is called Takao. Well met, Sakumo the Wolfling.”
“Well met, Sayaka.” He wants to ask how he went from ‘wolf-souled’ to ‘Wolfling’ but decides it might have to do with social hierarchy the people who live around town use, and that’s probably not worth the headache.
She leaves into the orange-red twilight, and Sakumo can’t help but think that there’s something so much worse going on here than whatever the town believes, whatever that Dr. Benzaiten believes - has them believe?
There’s only one thing to do.
“A what? ” Dr. Benzaiten startles so hard the micropipette tip he’s been distractedly trying to jam onto the micropipette goes flying. Nawaki screeches quietly then rushes out dialing on his phone.
“A date.” Sakumo had talked it over extensively with Dai, with Hisako, and with Kakashi (and Gai, though Gai had cheered that dating was youthful, for which Sakumo would like to blame Dai preemptively before anything comes of that) and Fuzzy and Pakkun. The only one of those conversations that had gone well was with Kakashi, who had supportively suggested he get a guide on how to date since it had been literal years since he’d last gone on one. Dai and Hisako had exchanged glances, Dai wincing and Hisako gently mentioning that just because it had been nearly two years since- since - that he didn’t need to feel like he was rushing to pretend like he was done grieving. Really. Take his time and if Hisako needs to recommend a therapist, she’ll find one who’s willing to do appointments via Skype.
Things hadn’t gotten better on that end when he’d explained he wanted to mine Dr. Benzaiten for information, thus necessitating a situation where he (Sakumo) could liberally apply alcohol and loosen his (Dr. Benzaiten’s) tongue and find out what the Twelve Hells is going on in this town. Maybe he hadn’t explained things right, but Dai had told him it was uncool to use some pretty young thing like that - which while Dr. Benzaiten is pretty, and young, he is just as guilty of having ulterior motives and Sakumo knows it - and Hisako had winced and made dandan noodles for dinner to express her distaste for the idea.
It’s not his fault that Dr. Benzaiten is entirely too much to take on alone. “This isn’t a late retribution for the sexual harassment back then, is it?” His eyes are more purple eyeshadow than gold, suspicious and angry.
“What?! No!” Sakumo is quick to assure him it’s not that at all.
“Not a prank, or otherwise meanly meant?” At this one Sakumo has to internally wince, because he has ulterior motives but he isn’t pursuing it with malice intended.
Still he soldiers on. “No.”
Dr. Benzaiten unhooks his face mask to reveal pursed lips, flush high on his diamond cut cheekbones, “Are you attempting entrapment via relationship so I am forced to take you along on Headman duties so that you can reasonably discharge your duties as my overseeing officer for the Army?” A single emerald painted fingertip taps pointedly against the top of the lab bench.
He runs that through that sentence a few times, because it’s just convoluted enough to make sense, but not so convoluted there isn’t a right answer. “While that’d be a great way to do that, I’m pretty sure that’s morally wrong and for a different type of mission than this, also, no.” Sakumo smiles pleasantly, the one that crinkles his eyes just so, and pushes his hands into his pockets, relaxed. He can practically see the wheels turning in the doctor’s head. “Unless we’re doing International Incidents again?”
As if it’s reflexive, Dr. Benzaiten snaps, “That was entirely Kagami’s fault, and you know it Jiraiya!” There’s a moment of dead quiet, then Dr. Benzaiten’s eyes widen in horror.
Sakumo raises his eyebrows, notes both names for later research, but grins quicksilver mischief and says, “Not even one date and you’re calling me by another man’s name? That’s certainly fast, doctor.” At the wildfire flush running unchecked across pale skin, the sheer mortification made public, Sakumo eases, “If you’re actually that uncomfortable - “
“Tonight. 8pm. The izakaya off the main square. We’ll split the bill, so don’t get any funny ideas. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wrangle a phone from my assistant and try to yell one of my best friends down from an aneurysm over the phone.” Flush still riding high, the doctor glides quickly out of the room, lab coat billowing like a flag in the wind.
Sakumo’s going to chalk that up as a win, even if that win is slightly questionable. Now to figure out the highest proof alcohol the izakaya sells, and make sure Kakashi knows to go to the Maito’s tonight. He’s not throwing away his shot.
Fuzzy insists upon joining him that evening, and Sakumo, not willing to risk being late by having to fight a 300+ pound apex predator trained by the military, gives in and resigns himself to her coming along. She follows close beside him, stopping to sniff fences and lampposts as well as thoroughly investigate the public fountain in the corner of the square, plus or minus some rather aggressive squirrels. They must give the squirrels steroids or the like, given the way they hiss - which, since when did squirrels hiss? - and flicker their tails irately. That is some power tail flicking.
All in all Fuzzy makes an utter nuisance of herself on the walk over, but settles down when they meet Dr. Benzaiten at the door to the izakaya. “Doctor. Good evening.” Sakumo slides open the door gallantly. Fuzzy slips past like a large white shadow and pants happily from just inside the door.
He’s met by a pointedly arched eyebrow, silently judgemental, “Orochimaru, please. I must insist.” Orochimaru glides past anyways entering the premises easily. He greets the hostess easily, and they immediately get lead to a private booth. “So tell me, why exactly should I inform my best friends that you do not deserve to be pummeled into a pate for even looking at me sideways?”
Sakumo accepts the bottle of shochu from the waitress - prearranged after much deliberation between classy low stakes alcohol, like shochu or sake versus hangover inducing soju -careful to nod his thanks rather than speak it. “I do hope I’ve not given the impression that I’m that much of an asshole so quickly. ”
Orochimaru’s lips twitch, “Fair enough. Now that I’ve gotten my required question out of the way, the crux of the matter, Why did you ask me out?” He accepts the proffered glass of shochu, and they both sip at the sweet white sweet potato shochu. It’s tasty, perhaps fish will pair well, but possibly green beans or yakitori.
Sakumo thinks it over before answering, “You’re intriguing, and pretty. Should there be more to it?” Perhaps he’s getting the hang of telling the truth while also hiding his real intent. A scary yet exciting thought. Maybe he could go full on James Bond, super spy. Except James Bond was Navy, the soggy-bottomed loser. Maybe a whole new type of super spy? One who’s not a functioning alcoholic, for one.
“Call me pretty and give me non watered down shochu,” Orochimaru toasts him over the rim of his glass, “You, sir, are playing dirty.”
“Then I shall continue playing dirty.” Sakumo tosses back the rest of the shochu and refills Orochimaru’s glass. “How did Noboru fare in the end?”
“Little Noboru was snatched out of his cradle by our dearest neighbors and their Lady has the gall to pretend like no one knows who did it and on whose orders.” Orochimaru runs a finger around the rim of his glass; Sakumo has no choice but to listen to it sing with his hearing acting as funky as it is. “Luckily Manda managed to help make the point clear that the Lady isn’t welcome to simply trapeze around like she’s the Queen of these parts anymore. Now you, what do you get up to when you’re not lounging around my laboratory?” Manda hopefully, stayed at home and isn’t anywhere near the establishment.
Sakumo smiles, “I usually spend time with my son.” He fishes for his phone and swipes through the photos until he finds his favorite, “Kakashi. He’s 7, and a little genius. That’s his puppy Pakkun.” The pug is curled up in Kakashi’s lap like a small furry ball, barely visible.
Orochimaru coos appropriately at the picture of Kakashi solving basic calculus equations, then freezes warily asks, “And your wife?”
Sakumo lets the wash of ice cold sadness pour over him then exhales, slow and even, “She passed.” He forces himself to shrug, “Modern medicine is a miracle, but even that can’t fix metastasized cancer in the magic pathways.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” It’s sincere, for what that’s worth. For all Orochimaru is clearly playing a dangerous game with the people who live around the town, at least he’s not a complete sociopath. A stiff silence falls, and Sakumo tries to think of how to get it back on topic. Fire God’s Eternal Flame, he wasn’t the best dater around and he knew it. Why was this the plan again?
The waitress comes around to take their orders, and once she’s left Sakumo tries again, “So what brought you out here initially?”
“To shorten a needlessly complex story, my teacher won a grant to do some work for the military, and since I was assisting, I came out here with him. When his work was successfully completed, he left but I had unusual results that wouldn’t or couldn’t be replicated elsewhere in the world, so I left and came back to set up my lab. And now I mainly do research plus some work for the military as they find projects they need my expertise on.”
“Fascinating. And the ... friendly folk who live outside of town? How long have they been a problem?” Sakumo tops up both their glasses, though he’s been carefully pretending to drink instead of actually drinking.
“Mmm, about the same length of time, though they are usually quickly dealt with.” Their food arrives, small plates meant for sharing. “I have better things to do than to deal with their nonsense.”
“Are they usually targeting those who live here or each other?”
Orochimaru’s face twists, “Whatever catches their eye and suits the flavor of their cruelty for the moment. The Lady will target those among her people, and it’s disgusting. She has favorites to target, and one of them reminds me of you. Hair color, eye color, massive dogs like the wolf in Princess Mononoke had puppies.” He twirls a piece of yakitori contemplatively, before pointing the skewer suddenly at Sakumo. “Kind, earnest, honest, humble, loyal to a fault.” Sakumo knows his surprise is coloring his face, at the description his commanding officers have used to describe him since time immemorable, and Orochimaru’s smirk is triumphant, “You didn’t expect me to do my own research on you?”
“There’s nothing particularly interesting to know about me,” Sakumo demures, because it’s true. He’s a single parent to a genius child who’s only doing his best to make sure his last living family member is healthy and happy.
“Liar, liar, pants on fire, Mr. Youngest-Highly-Decorated-Major-In-the-Special-Operations-Division. You’re also in the running to make Colonel soon.”
“And you have nearly as many patents as your teacher, the second most in the world.” Sakumo should’ve saved that as ammunition for later, but he can’t regret the faint pink spots that rise on Orochimaru’s pale face. He really is pretty, which is an unconventional descriptor for a male, but also intelligent and not shy about it. A little loose tongued under the effect of alcohol, but that’s to be expected when you have three un-watered glasses with no food to cushion the shock to the system. Sakumo feels the sinking stone of guilt in his lower abdomen, the heavy rocks of regret weighing down his tongue. Perhaps this really was a bad idea.
“I surmise that this is your first foray back into the dating pool, then?” Orochimaru’s eyes have sharpened and Sakumo wonders if perhaps he hasn’t stumbled into some sort of trap.
The only thing to do though, is be honest. He scratches his cheek abashed, “Ahhh, what gave me away?” Under the table, Fuzzy snuffles about, as if she smells something intriguing, but Sakumo disregards that in favor of watching Orochimaru and the phases his eyes change through eureka - satisfaction-regard-intrigue lightning fast.
They finally settle on a glimmer of laughter - still not mean, just teasing mischief meant without malice. “Beyond the fact we just had a conversation over drinks that can be primarily and summarily described as ‘business oriented’, your phone keeps getting texts from someone named Dai sending you dating tips.” And this is why Sakumo doesn’t keep his phone on silent, Fire God forsake it. He can feel the fire of his blush all the way to the roots of his hair. “Don’t worry, I’m flattered. It’s not everyday someone decides all your various patents and magical skills mean you’re safe enough to test the dating pool with again.”
“A certain International Incident, if I recall correctly, marks you as very dangerous.” A set of eyebrows rise, astonishment, interest, and smug pride conveyed with so little, and Sakumo hurries to continue before things get wildly out of hand, “But ‘dangerous’ ... is interesting. I like dangerous things.” He replays what he just said in his head, and wrestles with the mortification rising from the depths of his soul. Open mouth and insert foot. While it’s not untrue , even when applied to Orochimaru - he is pretty and lethal, considering what he may or may not have accomplished a decade ago against immortal hitmen - Sakumo suspects that a) he’s not supposed to come right right out and say it, and b) when did that become less than a total lie? Even as he turns it over and over in his head in the silence that follows, he can’t say it’s untrue - from what he knows about Orochimaru he’s prone to protectiveness, possessiveness, sharp wit, and carries himself with a lethal sort of grace. None of those are necessarily deal breaker things, nor is his penchant for trouble and being in the center of it - glass houses and those who live in them and such.
Orochimaru shakes himself free of his excellent mimicry of a deer in the headlights. “That’s quite - I must myself admit that I find dangerous things also attractive.” His face is pointedly facing away, and all Sakumo can see are the sinuous snake earrings dangling from Orochimaru’s loose waterfall of midnight hair.
“Ah.” Sakumo covers with a deep drink of his shochu. Mmmm distilled sweet potato alcohol. Refreshing and if Sakumo has enough of it, he won’t be able to recall any of this. Fuzzy sneezes thrice in quick succession and harrumphs before settling down. He’s not sure if that’s Fuzzy making fun of him or the situation or both.
The silence that falls is awkward. Sakumo clears his throat and opens, “Maybe it’s better to stick to work talk or small talk?”
“Agreed.” Orochimaru nods once. “How are you finding our sleepy little town?”
“Are you asking as Headman or...?” Sakumo pulls off a piece of chicken from the yakitori stick. This garners no response, so Sakumo hedges his bet and goes a fifty-fifty split. “The area is nice, really, like something out of a fantasy novel, but ‘sleepy’ isn’t how I would describe it.”
“You have nothing to fear of the kindly neighbors who like to kick up a fuss, truly; their Lady just likes trying to test the constraints of her power every now and again.” Orochimaru’s mouth thins and his nose wrinkles in distaste. Whether it’s at the woman called Lady refusing to recognize that Orochimaru is the new big dog in town after all this time, or at the pickled daikon - which is too pickled for Sakumo’s taste - but it’s clear the situation is a thorn in his side. How far he’ll go to deal with such a threat is an unknown, but Sakumo sincerely hopes it’s after his work here is done.
“Yet she orders children snatched and hurts her own people. Why hasn’t anyone usurped her yet?” Because Sayaka had admitted to having reservations about her leader, and Sayaka couldn’t be the only one.
“Power. She’s owed enough favors and promises that moving against her would be likely suicide. For them, her word is law and that’s all they’ve likely ever known.” Orochimaru shrugs one shoulder as if to say ‘what can you do?’
It’s a fair point. Power often dictated societal morals in Sakumo’s experience, and often those with power had no morals, or if they did they - either the person or the morals didn’t last long. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Perhaps it would be worth looking into having this Lady classified as a direct threat to the safety and wellbeing of the people of Hi no Kuni, so Sakumo could take her out and restore some peace of mind here. Something to ask the Major when he calls for his weekly report in. He’s got enough first-hand evidence of the direct threat she poses, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s ever done.
“You know, I’ve always wondered - ,” Orochimaru breaks Salumo out of his plotting, but himself gets broken off by the trill of his phone. “Apologies, someone must have put in the override code.” He checks the caller id, then vigorously swipes the “End Call” button on a “Kagami” - the second time Sakumo has heard that name, now he’s curious. “Wondered - ,” the phone rings again, once again Kagami. Orochimaru bristles, then angrily swipes the ‘accept call’ button, “ What? ” If tone of voice could kill, this Kagami fellow would be dead 17 times over with just a word. Impressive.
Whatever this Kagami is saying, it’s sing-song and gleeful, but too muffled by static and speed of talking for Sakumo to clearly make out the words. He does catch an ‘I told you so,’ and virulent laughter, though what this Kagami told Orochimaru and how it’s come true Sakumo has no clue. Sakumo can see the steady throb of Orochimaru’s temple slowly gaining speed, though, and worries for this Kagami fellows life expectancy.
Sakumo grabs a napkin and slowly writes out, ‘Perhaps we should reschedule?’ Orochimaru takes a moment to read the note and then viciously shakes his head in denial.
“Kagami, if you must know I am very busy right now. Yes, on a date. I know you know that because Jiraiya probably blabbed at poker night, and I know you know that I know about that time with the centrifuge toast and the turducken in the autoclave incident. I think perhaps Dean Senju would be interested in learning about those, hnm?” Fire God’s eternal flame, that’s vicious. Yet, clearly blackmail has it’s uses. Sakumo is conflicted between disapproving and admiring the elegant solution.
Kagami is still speaking, but Orochimaru hangs up. “My sincerest apologies, Dr. Uchiha thought that was an emergency.” He glances at his phone when it rings again, and looks taken aback. “It’s far too late now. You have to pick up your child from Captain Maito’s correct?”
Sakumo checks the time himself, and winces at the 45 text messages from Dai. Small Lords and Heavenly Courts preserve him. “Yes. I do need to get Kakashi.” He had collected some of the information that he aimed for tonight, and some other ones more besides.
“It’ll be fastest if I take you. Come.” He pushes up from the booth with easy grace, signalling for the waitress to bring the check to the front.
Sakumo follows, trailing Fuzzy like a fluffy fluffy banner. “Er, did you have a motorbike I missed?”
Orochimaru glances at him, then the check before swiping his card. “No something better.” They step outside, Sakumo about to protest the fact that the bill is very certainly not split , when the world turns to a swirl of light streaks and colors.
Sakumo is glad it’s Saturday and that he can sleep off the combined hangover and migraine from the previous evening. Because apparently the migraine is a potential hazard of teleportation. Space-time compression. Something. Kakashi prods the bag of ice on Sakumo’s head to refreeze it, then nestles down again beside him. Sakumo warms with pride - or a hot flash, jury’s out on which - at the skill his son is already showing in magic. Fuzzy is curled around him on his bed, and Pakkun is somewhere in this tangle of fur and limbs. It’s a morning that would best be spent recalling the sheer excitement and delight on Kakashi’s face when he experienced the Teleportation spell for himself, or sleeping in, but all he can think about is the color of liquid gold by gas light and the Lady.
And with his senses on full blast, overheating and lacking the will to extract himself from the puppy pile thrown together on his bed, even thinking leaches him of his last bit of energy.
He goes in circles, until his thoughts are a well worn track anchoring him in the sensation overload that are his senses failing to remain at normal, until he falls into an exhausted sleep that is full of cruel laughter and blood coated in gold. Sakumo wakes to Dai shaking his shoulder, and can recall none of it but the unsettling feeling of being watched.
In deference to his still throbbing migraine, Dai opts to whisper as he delivers Hisako’s cure-all tomato soup. “Dr. Benzaiten showed you the Teleportation seal in action?!”
Sakumo can’t summon the energy to do more than tilt his head in question, and then mentally chide himself because now he knows exactly where Kakashi picked that up. “It’s only to be used in extreme cases, the doctor and his teacher found when they were developing it that it thinned the spaces between worlds. Or made reality fragile? Possibly caused one subject’s insides to become outsides, but that could have been something else.” Dai really isn’t helping. Thanks Dai.
He and Kakashi spend the rest of the day sleeping in, surfacing every once and again to shift around; Sakumo can swear he feels a gentle hand pet over his head more than once, but it has to be wishful thinking. There’s no one there, after all.
The following week passes quietly, Orochimaru makes no mention of Friday night or their discussion, but Sakumo can feel the weight of his gaze whenever Sakumo has reason to be at the lab. Which isn’t often enough, or even often at all. Sakumo dearly wishes he had more time at the lab, to weigh feelings against facts, to see if perhaps this researcher is someone he could find kinship and kindredness in, could date without pretense. His head says probably, his heart is wavering, and this mixed bag doesn’t help anything at all. That and the feeling there is someone watching him, watching his son. That might just be paranoia though.
Commands from the capital have him setting up a secure communications lines, and reporting on the handful of military families stationed out here. There’s discussion of having a training base set up out here, which would require he and Dai to scout out the terrain and the obstacles. Sakumo feels like Central won’t appreciate if he says ‘crazy people who live in the forest’ as an obstacle, no matter how serious he is on that count. Dai thinks they should put it down anyways, but Dai is also earnest and faithful and sometimes fails to consider the fact that perhaps they should have trainees chased by crazy people on the orders of a madwoman. If they sign the consent form, they’re fair game for whatever gets thrown at them.
That might just be Sakumo’s bitterness talking though; Colonel Shimura had spoken at length of peaceful military-civilian interactions, and that the Headman of the village would handle and continue to handle the situation and report to the government if necessary and that Sakumo was not to overstep his authority or tread on the toes of the locals by taking out the neighbor’s leader. Which is frankly idiotic since the Headman is a military scientist and protecting their asset and his work is his primary objective. If Sakumo ever becomes Colonel and Shimura gets ousted, he’s going to clean up the red tape and use common sense to lead, he swears it on the Fire God’s Eternal Flame. So mote it be lest his soul be consigned to eternal damnation in the Fire God’s Hells.
He’s so consumed by the massive dump of tasks the Colonel sends his way that he almost doesn’t notice how eerily quiet the town becomes. Like everyone is huddled indoors, away from windows or doors, just waiting for the danger to pass. His senses ratchet up and catch on every slightest noise, every pin drop. It’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it’s been in the works too long and everything is a giant exposed nerve twisted up in knots and trembling with barely restrained potential energy, ready to explode.
The phone ringing in the midst of all that tension should have been his sign. His phone ringing has never ended well for Sakumo, that the ringtone was even audible in the first place ought to have given him pause.
He knows the voice on the other end of the line, “Major Hatake? This is Principal Takahashi -” His hands shake as he listens, and then his world bursts. He doesn’t know what to do - should he spring into action; should he wait for the authorities to arrive; should he scream and keep screaming?
The decision is taken out his hands when his heart starts racing uncontrollably, his hearing sharpening until all noise is shrill and shrieky, his nose catching every scent in the vicinity, his jaw aching with the strain of something Sakumo cannot put a name to. A stringent voice snaps out orders, the phone tugged free of his hand and a third voice speaking. He feels more than hears the distressed whine of Fuzzy, the fingers against the pulse in his wrist and then the firm, cold hands against his chest, cold hands pressing one of his hands to a thin chest to match his breathing to. It doesn’t help, doesn’t fix the screaming in his ears or the flood of information or the bone deep pain that blooms and blooms and blooms . More commands Something falls out of his mouth as he gasps for air, and he dimly realizes it’s one of his front canine teeth. First one, then another, then another, they tinker to the floor like something from a nightmare, and something sharper pushes out of his gums, filling his mouth with blood. Bones shift and move and sharpen, and if Sakumo thought he’d be able to draw breath he’d scream with the pain of it. Fuzzy pushes into his chest as if she can headbutt out the wrongness and circles him protectively, anxious and defensive.
Then one by one the pains fade, plateauing. Sakumo finds himself staring into sharp gold eyes as he shakily inhales, holds, and exhales, and he wants nothing more than to collapse against those deceptively thin shoulders and weep. What he gets instead is a hard slap across the face, and virulent cursing from Orochimaru as he cradles the hand he used to slap Sakumo. “Get yourself together Major!” A fuzzy iridescent green glow encases Orochimaru’s hand, and Sakumo can smell the way the hurt eases.
“What’s happened to me?” He wonders how he can even croak that much out when - when this is the ultimate nightmare scenario. The thing that haunts his dreams more than his first kill or the last rattling breath Chiasa breathed in that grey beige hospital room.
Orochimaru, clearly not a believer in sympathy for those having a life-changing paradigm shift in worldview, forces him to his feet, then into Fuzzy for support. “I believe our fair neighbors would call it manifesting. Come on, we can chat as we move. Time is of the essence.”
Nothing makes sense and everything is haywire. But it’s easy enough to fall in step with Orochimaru, who moves like a soldier headed into a standoff with a mission they aim to complete, no matter the cost. “Manifesting?”
“Coming into one’s ... inheritance? Power? Whatever it is that marks our fair friends as something other .”
“Other meaning what exactly, beyond someone not from in town?”
Orochimaru narrows his eyes dangerously. “We are later going to discuss the fact you can read Marsh Witch High Cant, Major, and the repercussions of going through my logs. For now, Other means the ones who have your son. Can you track him at all, Ranger?” Impatient, but now that Orochimaru mentions it, Sakumo can smell traces of his son, of wild-sunlight-sprint-mischief , and suddenly he’s moving.
First it’s a quick walk, then a faster trot, a jog, then it’s the most natural thing in the world to flat out run. He can catch traces of wild-sunlight-sprint-mischief that is Kakashi, and can track it by nose alone, on the fly, and it’s exhilarating. Fuzzy sprints beside him, keeping pace easily with her long loping stride, pausing only momentarily to sniff through the air currents of the forest as it grows more dense and tightly grown, but it’s nothing to duck and weave and course correct with his every sense singing. The only hitch comes when he hits something of a wall. It’s not a wall, per se, more alike to a convoluted piece of Ancient Script he hasn’t quite parsed the base of. But the scent of his son does go beyond it, that much he’s sure of.
Orochimaru catches up, breathless. “Oh, Air God and the Heavenly Winds, a trod . Of course, a trod .” His omnipresent crystal bead bangle clacks as Orochimaru begins forming handsigns, but Sakumo stops him.
“You punch through with magic the trod will ... collapse.” Sakumo hopes he’s reading the runes floating around correctly. It’s either collapse or destroy itself, but the result is still the same. There’d be no finding Kakashi. Something about the word trod itches at his brain, but Sakumo ignores it because his son . His son is in the hands of a monster, and he will rip her throat out with his teeth if he has to in order to get Kakashi back safe.
“The only other option is to go Underhill and confront the Lady directly, which will mean we can’t surprise her and steal your son back before she notices.” Pale strong arms cross defensively, and as much as Sakumo agrees, there’s nothing to be done. He doesn’t even know where to begin with this ... Veil without at least two different reference texts, which could take hours to translate, filter for junk, translate again, and undo. They just don’t have the time. Orochimaru must see something of this resolve, and sighs resigned before grinning darkly. “Underhill it is. Let’s go make an Incident shall we, my sweet?”
Sakumo bares his teeth in a parody of a grin, “Of course, let’s do what we do best.”
Perhaps Sakumo should have checked that they were on the same page about what constitutes an “Incident”, since his version is kicking down doors and subduing people (killing them if only necessary), and Orochimaru’s just disintegrated his fourth person. “Are you even trying for survivors, Beautiful?”
Orochimaru flexes his fingers testily, “First of all, never use “beautiful” as a pet name again. Second, letting anyone get away to raise the alarm at this juncture would be counterproductive as a scare tactic.” He whirls in a elegant movement to catch a leaping assailant - one with cat eyes and a tail and a truly horrific amount of serrated teeth - in the face. With a puff of magic, ink scrawls out across their face with a acidic hiss, then with a sickening scream they dissolve to so much ash and dust. Well, Sakumo can’t say he’s surprised, he’s long known Orochimaru is dangerous and not just superficially. Fuzzy rumbles low in her throat and licks some of the bright red blood off her well-coated muzzle.
“But wouldn’t the scream make any nominal attempt at stealth moot?” He moves with a surprising amount of speed and finesse for the way his body’s muscles react a touch too fast, catching a whirling white blade with his reinforced gloves and then collapsing magic paths and deadening nerves with precise hits. Sakumo catches the blade before it falls to the floor, and after a cursory inspection, straps it to his side. Useful weapons were few and far between after all. Fuzzy races ahead, engaging with enemies unseen before they can spring their traps.
Orochimaru had led them through an opening in a knotted series of branches and roots into a set of underground tunnels, but Sakumo had the disorienting feeling that the path they had taken was somehow bigger than the thicket had seemed from the outside. And things that had previously seemed obscure had finished unearthing themselves from Sakumo’s recollections. Still he’d like to wait for a little more confirmation -
Sakumo catches the soft twang of a bow and easily slices the arrow in half, lets Orochimaru fire off a cyclone of scalep sharp air blades and inferno hot flames over his head to the hidden archer as he parries a longsword that rose up from the ground like an assassin’s blade. Their steadily smoothing ability to work together like a well-oiled machine - or a danse macabre for two, considering the bodies littering their path - makes Sakumo’s Ranger missions look like toddlers learning to walk. It’s like playing a MMORPG as a rogue with an exceptionally skilled mage laying down cover fire; he can’t keep back a feral snarl of unadulterated pleasure, if these lackeys thought they could go and kidnap Kakashi and get away with it then they were surely learning otherwise. The hard way, as Sakumo bisects some twig-figure’s legs at the knee. A ripple up his spine; danger there, move now -
A blistering wave of lava rushes towards where they last were, Sakumo throwing them both bodily out of the way and into an antechamber clearly lit by sunlight. He ducks and rolls low as Orochimaru throws up a barrier with a fluid series of handsigns and follows it up with a harsh burst of wind to cool and harden the lava into an impassable door. It’s as simple as breathing to come up with his blade bared, Fuzzy growling, teeth exposed, ears high and fur bristling like a matched set.
“And so you’ve come for the halfbreed, Headman.” The woman he’d last seen at the forum is seated on what can only be a throne, lavish with gold and jewels and surrounded by women holding pitchers and platters of food. “And you bring a second one with you.” Her sneer is poisonous, her hatred noxious, and Sakumo bares his teeth at her.
“Halfbreed or not, you took one of my children, Lady, and we both know that is not something I will accept.” Orochimaru’s magic wreaths him like a second skin, a suit of armor made of scales. “Return him with no harm and I may be inclined to leniency.”
Sakumo finally accepts that this is his reality as the woman rises, unnaturally lithe but eyes fully black and hair thick twists of vine and bone and wood and fur and leaf and antler that shift arrangement as if of their own accord. “Your leniency is a falsehood, Snake-souled Orochimaru, for you know only calculation. Didn’t your tales tell you not to lie to a Fae? Or insult a Fae Queen? You are in my domain now, Headman and Wolf, not neutral ground. The very essence of Underhill obeys me .” As if to prove her point, vines thicker than a all-terrain vehicle shoot up out of nowhere and bind Sakumo tight to the walls, narrowly miss catching Orochimaru but tie Fuzzy to the floor. If he struggles, the vines tighten.
As if by design, the balconies and hidden galleries fill up with a vast assortment of strange and fantastic shapes and forms, more than Sakumo can count. Their noise fills his ears though, and their smells. Far too many of them smell of things Sakumo cannot name, does not want to face by smell alone.
As if it’s less than a mere though, Orochimaru torches the remaining vines, letting the woman’s shrieks pass over him. “While it’s true I’ve entered your land, and have come into your Mound, Lady, you’ve broken oath. What’s that they say about lying and oath breaking?” His smile is placid, but screams of being caught red handed.
“I have broken no oath, Headman. I have made no promise to you I have not kept.” Her snarl is rabid with rage, fury made real by the way flames gout and gutter up from thin air.
Orochimaru tilts his head like he’s indulging a child’s tantrum. “The man and his progeny are mine. You said you would not harm those I have claimed as my own. Yet, you’ve caused the man great distress, and probably the child as well. You have broken faith by causing harm to me and mine.”
The woman scoffs, “I have greater and first claim on their lives, they are of my people and thus mine to treat as I please. This is the truest truth I know, and you know it too.”
Sakumo knows that set of Orochimaru’s shoulders, that shift of weight from one leg to another, and is not disappointed. Orochimaru is out for blood, and this will be the start of the end. “Yet, Lady, this is not the only oath that I speak of. You yourself said you laid the halfbreed to eternal rest and that has been proven false, Lady.”
She starts. “What do you speak of, Headman?”
Orochimaru clears his throat, “Lady, once upon a time you said you had been betrayed by your closest handmaiden, who loved another more than you, and thus conceived a child. Among you and yours, children are rare, and much beloved as symbols of the depth and strength of the devotion between the parents. You, Lady, were so enraged that you plotted to have the child and it’s father slaughtered, to cast out your most trusted attendant in disgrace as punishment. But, when the time came, something went wrong, and the child never died. The man and his child escaped your clutches, but you bathed yourself in their scents and glamored blood upon yourself and came back in false triumph. You cast your attendant into the Wild Hunt as their leader as punishment and have used her as your whipping post since.”
“Wild conjecture.”
“Ah, but Lady, I have proof. You’ve managed to tie him up, but the man you call Wolf is that child. And since he lives, the oath your swore to your attendant that you killed her husband and child is a lie. That is the promise I speak of.”
Sayaka and Takao stumble out of one of the hidden alcoves, eyes wide and shining. A heavy hush has stilled even the most quiet of rustles from the crowd, like they are waiting for something. Now that she is away from the crowd, Sakumo can smell her most clearly. Wild-sunlight-sprint , heavily influenced by a deep seated grief and the iron tang of steel. He can tell the moment that she smells his scent, notes the similarities that Sakumo has long since figured out marks blood-kin. “Lady, why .” Sayaka tightens her grip on her tanto as if her resolve had hardened even as her voice broke with barely restrained emotion, and Takao falls still, waiting.
The Lady does not respond, merely shrieks banshee-like and throws massive fireballs across the room. Sayaka moves, her and Takao so synchronous in their movements it’s like watching a ballet of flashing blades and snapping jaws. Orochimaru appears by his side, a thin gust of wind cutting through the vines holding Sakumo tight. By his side, a large purple snake tastes the air, slowly growing before Sakumo’s very eyes. “Hurry, find Kakashi. I will stay here and aid Sayaka as I can.” Fuzzy whines conflicted, like she could stand to take a shot herself at the Lady, but also to see Kakashi and ensure he’s unhurt.
“Come on girl,” Sakumo asks, because he’s afraid. He’s afraid and angry and there are powers he cannot match at work here, given the way the earth and walls tremble and the air shivers. And, apparently, his mother. Who is very clearly not human, not with the way her teeth are wolf-sharp and her ears are delicately pointed, and not dead like he had always been lead to assume. With one last guilty whine, Fuzzy comes to heel by Sakumo as they resume trailing Kakashi. His stomach twists as the scent of his son gets stronger, as it floods with pain and fear and his subconscious howls in outrage, with the need to race back and take every ounce of this feeling out of the Lady, out of anyone who laid a hand on Kakashi.
It’s clear to see that the rest of Underhill has been deserted, or more rather only left guarded by small hunched figures that barely come up to Sakumo’s knees and skitter away in fear when Sakumo bares his teeth and growls in their direction. The only one who gathers up the guts to hurl a crude wooden spear gets that same spear through the skull in quick retribution and the rest of it’s gathered mob scatters into the dank hallways like so many cockroaches from the light.
Finally something breaks in Underhill, ripples and shifts and warps in some intrinsic manner Sakumo cannot place but that straightens the halls from their previous winds and wanders, lifts the deep pockets of dark in favor of something less gothic. More importantly, perhaps is the distinct muffled grunting Sakumo hasn’t heard in so long. “Kakashi!”
His hair is matted with sweat, his skin pallid, and his scarf in tatters. The urge to snarl and bite and tear flesh from bones is back, and Sakumo swallows it down in favor of ripping apart the chains hanging Kakashi’s thin wrists above his head, to pressing ice to the swollen and sore flesh revealed, and holding Kakashi close as his whimpers of pain slow. “Dad?”
It’s the first time Sakumo has heard his son’s voice in years, and it’s slightly slurred and hoarse. “Yeah, baby, it’s me.” Fuzzy noses around them, concern clear in her low tail and flat ears. “You’re safe now, I’ve got you.” Sakumo presses closer, nose near buried in Kakashi’s hair, and feels the tension coiling in his muscles ease as the distress bleeds out of Kakashi’s scent. Kakashi’s muddy and bruised and probably ought to see a medical doctor as soon as possible, but Sakumo wants more to just hold his son. “Fuzzy, lead us out of here.”
It’s easier now, to follow the neat slink of Fuzzy through the corridors. Sakumo can smell that there have been creatures of not insignificant power passing through the halls recently, catches glimpses of them, but they seem to be fleeing instead of confronting Sakumo. He still doesn’t put away the tanto he reappropriated, not until the arrive at the rubble and ruin of the chamber where Sakumo had left the Lady.
Orochimaru is covered in grime and dust, a little blood, but the color is high in his cheeks and his eyes are bright with excitement, and he’s perched on the head of a massive snake. Sayaka outright glitters with power, covered in blood, and is ripping chunks from the Lady’s corpse to stack into a what’s shaping up into a throne. As for the Lady, she’s ripped to shreds, eviscerated, face contorted in a rictus of pain and horror, her throat gaping open from what is clearly wolf teeth. Whether they were Sayaka or Takao is unclear, but Sakumo feels a grim pleasure at the sight. May she rot in the Lady of Death’s embrace for eternity.
Sayaka’s head lifts up as a fresh and clean breeze passes through the room. Takao rises from where he’s been hidden in the shadow of the throne, and their gazes together zeros in on Sakumo and Kakashi like a laser guided shot.
“Oh good, you’ve found the puppy. Hello puppy.” Orochimaru glides over, picking over the larger chunks of rubble like they’re minor annoyances. Kakashi wriggles out of Sakumo’s grip and to the floor, yet hovers close to Sakumo - not comfortable being coddled in front of strangers, however cool, but not yet sure to leave his father. Takao slinks over, eyes large and pleading and amusing in the way he tries to shrink several hundred pounds into something nonthreatening. Sayaka follows cautiously after.
Now that Sakumo is looking for it, he can see more than just eye color and hair color that they share. There are traces of smile lines that bracket her mouth, the mole on the hinge of her jaw that Sakumo and Chiasa had both wondered where that trait had come from in Kakashi, the wild hope in dark grey eyes that maybe she wasn’t so alone anymore.
They talk long through the day and well into the night, about the years they have missed and the lives unknown and the little things Sakumo had never heard before and aches to know he missed. The way Sayaka had tried to hunt him and his father down over and over and over but never could catch a trace of them, finally accepted that the Lady had told the truth and they were dead; the way Kakashi had woken one day with deep jaw pain and a mouthful of blood and found himself with wolf teeth instead of normal human ones; the soft story of how Sayaka had met his father and fallen in love. In some ways it is too much, in others too little.
Sakumo exhales into the chill pre-dawn air, awake and restless. There’s so much more to know, questions he wants to ask but doesn’t know how to phrase, doesn’t know how to deal with the awkwardness of having a parent that he has never known after going without for a lifetime. He’s consumed by his own thoughts when Orochimaru extracts himself from the guest bedroom and comes out through the window, Manda looped around his throat like a scarf, bundled tight in a guest blanket. This at least, Sakumo is confident in maneuvering.
They’re silent and watching the pitch black skies slowly lighten to dark Iron grey for a long bet. “How’d you know?” Sakumo doesn’t look over to Orochimaru, where he’s perch himself comfortably on the rail of the porch.
“The clues were all there if you had known what you were looking for. You’re both far too alike - and not just in looks. You magic is similar, an odd Lightning primary instead of Fire primary, though yours is colored by Earth - your father, I presume. And the Lady’s story had holes - why would she need to make a show of killing two defenseless people but not produce the bodies, not take a trophy? Though I can’t hold that particular piece of information against you; it’s not something I believe you were aware of previously.” Sakumo catches the edges of a slight head tilt and shrug.
“What am I?” Sakumo suspects, has a word bouncing around his skull, but he isn’t ready to apply that to himself quite yet.
“Have you still not figured it out? Even with Wolfy the way she is?”
“What does Fuzzy have to do with anything?” His dog?
Orochimaru counts off, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, “Wolfy is entirely too large to be suffering from any kind of gigantism common to any species of wolf in the Elemental Nations. That notwithstanding, you’ve never wondered at her intelligence? Or the fact she’s lived so long without any visible health issues.”
Sakumo has to argue, because he’s seen enough vets who’ve marveled over the same thing. “Magic increases the lifespan in animals who are around a lot of it.”
“Only by a few years. A whole decade has passed and Wolfy is nearly exactly the same as when I last saw her. You too for that matter.” If Sakumo turned his head he knows he would see shining gold focused on him, studying him. They’ll be bright, even in this half light, glowing, and honest, because Sakumo has realized that Orochimaru doesn’t lie, no not outright. He’ll speak as if you know all the facts, as if you’re fully aware of all the shogi pieces moving around the board and all several hundred moves that may have come before, and then continue on. A perverse kind of honesty, but honesty just the same. Once again, with a quiet insistence, “Have you figured it out?”
Sakumo swallows hard, his throat dry and only getting drier, “Fae. I’m Fae.”
“Demi-Fae, since your father was human. Your son too, for the human blood that runs in his veins.” A quiet jangle of links, the tinkle of metal against metal that made up the scales of Orochimaru’s earrings. “The distinction doesn’t matter, since you’ve both Manifested.”
Right. Showing Fae traits. Sakumo must suppose he got off lightly with wolf teeth - at least among Rangers, he can shrug and point out that Inuzuka file their teeth into a similar configuration, though maybe they’re also less human than he previously suspected. It might explain why they’ve always been able to work well together, but not mingled as one unit easily. They have a different leader, and Sakumo is the leader of his own group, small though it is. Which, “Sayaka killed the Lady didn’t she.”
“She did.” It’s a quiet confirmation, and Sakumo is uneasy at it. Sayaka, who does not know Sakumo or Kakashi beyond the fact they are her blood, one who she has mourned and one who she never dreamed of existing. Sayaka, for all of that, took on someone who had a power beyond magic in the form of oaths and promises that leveraged people against their own whims, and won.
“How?” Orochimaru himself had noted that it would be suicide to take on the Lady. Yet, Sayaka had won.
“The rules of Underhill are more complex than what Fae would have you know. Oh, their rules for us are simple enough, but for other Fae there are more ... strictures than there are concessions. Likely because they are all out for power.” Orochimaru resettles himself on the thin rail, tucking his bare feet within the swaddling of blankets. “The Lady may have held power via promises, but those all became moot when I revealed her to have broken faith. On top of that, the fight itself was most likely viewed to have been retribution for blood kin. Vengeance, or justice, whichever you prefer.” Clearly, Orochimaru gave no more importance to one over the other, and Sakumo chose not to care. He could wrap his head around the politics, perhaps, easily step into the role of a parent who’s lost something and wanted retribution. “In either case, the Lady had no choice. She had already lost the majority of her power, and would have been cast out of the Court. It’s better now, with her dead and Sayaka the new Queen.”
Apparently, Sakumo has a Fae Queen sleeping in his bed. Who is his mother, and willing to kill for him. There are worse situations to be in, if he thinks about it.
The silence they’ve fallen into is heavy, something not quite comfortable but not quite heavy either. Orochimaru breaks it, “You went through my logs.” It’s not an accusation, just a simple statement of fact. There’s no use denying it, so Sakumo just listens. “Why?”
Sakumo considers, and tries to extract the bare bones of the situation, “There was something afoot, and I needed to know what it was, not just for my job but also for my son.”
“A simple man with simple reasons.” Orochimaru inclines his head, “Still ulterior motives.”
“So did you.” He's fired back before he can truly think it through. At least in this, they’re both guilty of having motives behind motives behind motives. “Why else would you have asked for a sample of my magic, and how else would you have figured that my magic is similar to Sayaka’s?” The silence that follows tells him that Orochimaru’s conceded the point, but it’s barely a victory really. Sakumo sighs heavily, and turns to watch the way the sun’s first rays illuminate Orochimaru’s face, bare of heavy purple and hair loosely tied back. He’s lovely and intriguing and Sakumo wants to try getting to know this person who’s always thinking and moving and so very much the same but opposite. “So, where do we go from here?”
“I like to think that we deserve to start over. I - I was wrong, back then to use myself and my body as a distraction, to sexually harass you, and I've never apologized for that. As well as now, having ulterior motives for what I’ve said or done while you’ve been here. So this is my formal apology.” It’s sincere, and that’s worth meeting equally.
“I should apologize as well, for snooping through something that wasn’t, isn’t necessary for doing my job.” It raises the tiniest of smiles, true and genuine. It feels a little like discovery, and Sakumo can see how Orochimaru can get so engrossed in his work if everything feels like this.
“I think you’re a good man at heart Sakumo Hatake, someone not swayed easily and I cannot say that I am not interested in knowing you better.”
It’s difficult, to be honest, but Sakumo needs to say it. “In the interest of full disclosure; I'm not completely done missing Chiasa, I don't think I ever will be. She is someone I love, deeply, and I always will."
Oro reads between lines, "But you're also ready to wade back in?"
"Wade is a good word for it. If you're okay with slow, then ...." The ball is in Orochimaru’s court. He might not want to deal with the encompassing grief that comes and goes, or the fact that Sakumo will love Chiasa for the rest of his life. He’s used to missing her, not used to having someone there, used to mourning those who are lost.
Orochimaru smiles and reaches out a hand, “Then, hello, I’m Dr. Orochimaru Benzaiten, genius PhD. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I like reading academic papers and writing scathing reviews, research, and have been called dangerous before.” His eyes are dancing and it playful.
Sakumo can’t help but respond in kind. “Major Sakumo Hatake, single parent to a genius 7 year old, recently reunited with his long-lost mother, a Queen. I love spending time with my son and my dog, Fuzzy, and can be persuaded to listen to long rambles on any topic. Also, I like dangerous.” He smiles, and it’s weird around a mouthful of wolf teeth, but in the dawn light, it feels a little like a rebirth, and Sakumo can’t wait to see what comes next.
#sumigakure halloween event 2017#prompt 15: this town isn't what it seems#promtp12: character finds out they're a supernatural creature#IM SORRY I LOST INTERNET THIS IS SO LATE DDDDDDDDD:#art writes
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plendi
ok but what are your opinions on Runaways??? No...
this is literally me! think it’s all so fun and it’s great to have a show that I dont have to take too seriously, yet has some really great messages. But I am sure it’s wishful thinking to say my gay ass isn’t going to start obsessing over it before the end of the season ��
think piece shows can be fantastic but honestly they’re also often tiring and i’m old and crotchety and just want to have fun damn it.
the first gifset i saw of this show was karolina’s gay awakening at the party and i thought that was hilarious but now she’s pining and i’m all 👀. i also like that it isn’t really too angsty? at least so far. like yes there’s some longing and it sucks to see her crush off with someone else but it seems more like regular teenage problems than the usual coming to terms with self angst.
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Spencer Tracy, Lauren Bacall, Cary Grant.
Thanks so much for the ask Lucie!
Spencer Tracy
How many movies I’ve seen him in
I’ve seen 9 movies of his: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (1967), It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963), part of Judgment At Nuremburg (1961),Woman Of The Year (1942), Desk Set (1957), Pat and Mike (1952), The People Against O’Hara (1951), Adam’s Rib (1949), and State Of The Union (1948).
How I feel about his acting
I think he’s a very good actor - always feels very natural, though the crotchety old man roles he tends to play don’t always interest me terribly. They’re good, but I never crave them.
How I feel about him as a person
I’m not a fan of him personally. I know he had a lotta problems - alcoholism one of them, lots of affairs another, though it’s a weird situation with him and his wife. I read that he felt guilty about his son being born deaf, something that I guess haunted him, I don’t know. I’ve read that for Tracy, acting was easy and life was hard.
My favorite role he played
My favorite role of his is hands-down Matt Drayton in Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (1967). The topics explored in that film are still relevant, and I’m not just talking interracial marriage, it’s marriage equality and love in general. As a gay boy, this movie is really important to me, I played it on the ‘Pasta Movie Sunday’ when I came out to my parents because it so perfectly tackles those topics. And it’s not just the angry digusting bigots that saw nasty things to you or behind your back, it’s the people who know you and love you but don’t understand what you’re doing. Tracy plays the latter, but he learns to understand.
My least favorite role he played
I remember not being too thrilled by The People Against O’Hara (1951).
Lauren Bacall
How many movies I’ve seen her in
8: Young Man With A Horn (1950) [until she died, the entire core cast of this film was all still alive], The Big Sleep (1946) [I really need to rewatch that one because I don’t remember at all what was going on], How To Marry A Millionaire (1954), Designing Women (1957), Dark Passage (1947), Harper (1966), Misery (1990) [My mom had this on TV and at first I only watched because she was in it, then the story pulled me in].
I also really enjoy the Broadway musical Applause she’s in. She’s not a singer exactly (you can hear the smoking in her voice) but she still does pretty well and does a much better job vocally than Katharine Hepburn in Coco which was on Broadway at the same time.
How I feel about her acting
I love her acting. She always comes across as so savy and real, if sometimes a bit self-centered/cold and I like to think I can relate to that.
How I feel about her as a person
The more I learn about her, the more I love her. That’s how it should be. I really need to read a book or two about her.
My favorite role she played
She’s so good, I don’t know if I have a clear favorite. The first one that comes to mind is Schatze in How To Marry A Millionare (1954) I guess because I’ve seen that one a couple times. She’s cool to the point of being cold, but there’s a vulnerability under that which she tries to hide.
My least favorite role she played
I’m not sure, maybe Marilla Brown Hagen in Designing Women (1957) but from what I remember, she’s good, it’s the film overall that isn’t amazing. It’s nice, but it’s got some faults.
Cary Grant
How many movies I’ve seen him in
I’ve seen 13 movies of his: The Philadelphia Story (1940), North By Northwest (1959), Charade (1963), Mr. Lucky (1943), Suspicion (1941), Notorious (1946), Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), To Catch A Thief (1955) My Favorite Wife (1940), An Affair To Remember (1957), Bringing Up Baby (1938), His Girl Friday (1940), and Holiday (1938).
How I feel about his acting
I love him. So effortless, so charming, so comedic so fun. I love doing my impression of him.
How I feel about him as a person
I still don’t understand why he charged people for his autograph and the whole LSD therapy thing is weird for me. Still, he seems to have been a pretty nice person.
My favorite role he played
A toss-up between C.K. Dexter Haven in The Philadelphia Story (1940) and Roger O. Thornhill in North By Northwest (1959).
My least favorite role he played
In Mr. Lucky (1943) and His Girl Friday (1940) he kinda played louses, so I guess that bothers me a bit. He’s often a lovable rogue, but in these films I seem to remember him being a bit less lovable. The age difference in Charade (1963) is a bit problematic for me too.
Send me more actors and I’ll tell you
how many movies I’ve seen them in
how I feel about their acting
how I feel about them as a person
my favorite role they played:
my least favorite role they played
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In case anyone didn’t see, I posted a batch of new OCs on twitter today, but I’ll repost them here.
Captain Rockwell (name tentative) Tabaxi/Gay/early 30s/Rouge (Swashbuckler) Always pushing his luck, this treasure hunting cat gets himself into trouble just as often as he talks his way out. After winning a boat in a bet, he decided that the open sea would be the best way to travel the world and experience everything life has to offer (and having a quick way out of town is also a big plus.) He's very into "steal from the rich" but not a big fan of the "give to the needy." He has needs himself. He wears a big pirate hat, an open vest and a ring on a necklace around his neck. Also, he can't actually swim.
Butus (name tentative also) Minotar/Bisexual/19/Fighter (Mariner) A literal bull in a figurative china shop, he often finds himself tripping over himself, physically and socially. His naivety and tendency to develop a crush on anyone kind to him lead to into trouble, but he was rescued by Rockwell. Rockwell felt like leaving him alone would be irresponsible, so he offered Butus a job to watch over him (and he needed someone who actually knew how to sail.) He wears a bandana and striped shirt. Growing up on a ship alongside his mother taught him everything he needed to know to to sail and navigate. In fact, he handles the ship single-handedly. Dreak Kobold/Asexual/late 40s/Artificer (the gun kind)
A crotchety old man who has known Captain Rockwell for at least a decade. While he hates Rockwell's ability get into trouble and habit of running his mouth, he agrees to stay on board since Rockwell often able get him close to rare materials. He’s the closest thing to a voice of reason on board. However, if he tells you not to touch something in his workshop because it will explode, don't think he's doing it to protect you. It's just that he'd be annoyed about having to fix/replace it. Additional notes: When they aren't looking for treasure or running from the law, they also make ends meet by ferrying adventurers around. Although Rockwell will give dudes a discount if they're cute enough ;)
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&&. announcing her royal highness, ( hana sofija dervishi ), the ( 18 ) year old ( princess ) of ( albania ). she is often confused with ( bridget satterlee ). some say that she is ( curmudgeonly and reclusive ), but she is actually ( perceptive and steadfast ).
hey loves! roo here! i’m so excited to be joining you guys and i can’t wait to plot all the connections with you! i’ll make a proper about page for my smol bby hana later, but for now, i’ll squeeze as much info about her as i can on here. in the meantime, feel free to hmu !!!
hana sofija dervishi is the youngest child and only daughter of king besim and queen amira, which makes her third-in-line to the albanian throne even though she doesn’t really care for the idea of obtaining it.
not that she doesn’t want the responsibilities that come with it; if anything, they’re the only thing she does want because the idea of helping fix all of the current issues of the world is ??? amazing to her???
but yeah, she’s not too keen on the additional social commitments that come with a higher title, so she’s content to remain in the background and only socialize when it’s absolutely necessary tbqh.
she’s basically the grumpiest grump to ever grump™.
like most royals around the world, she is very educated, having finished secondary school (aka high school) and enrolled in university classes by the time she was sixteen, where she’s worked her ass off studying history and english literature for the last two years. she plans to eventually earn herself a proper doctorate degree in cultural anthropology, but for the time being, she’s enjoying her double majors.
as one would expect, she’s something of a bibliomaniac, though the stereotypical depictions of waifish bookworms need not apply here.
her mother, queen amira, was the princess of bosnia & herzegovina and second in line to the throne before she married king besim. with the gruesome details of the yugoslav wars (especially pertaining to how bosniak women were treated), which only ended in the early 2000s, queen amira made it a point to educate her only daughter in proper self-defense. so hana has trained in brazilian jiu-jitsu, muay thai, and krav maga since she was a little kid, and has taken bits and pieces from all three styles of martial arts to know how to effectively defend herself.
so don’t fuck with her too much, or she’ll cut you (except not really).
that being said, despite her sourwolf attitude, she has the patience of a saint and it takes quite a lot to get her properly angry. she might be a crotchety 80-year-old curmudgeon trapped in a young woman’s body, but there’s still a big difference between the usual remarks grumbled under her breath (which i imagine are akin to “get off my lawn”) and the albanian curses spat out between gritted teeth and clenched fists. so even though she’s stubbornly antisocial and not very pleasant, she’s also not an outright asshole who explodes at every little thing like a spoiled brat??? which is nice lol.
she’s also hella hella hella gay, so the thought of eventually having an arranged marriage sounds beyond ridiculous to her... unless it’s to a pretty lady, but even then, she doesn’t fancy the idea of her parents of all people picking out her future wife.
she’s been out of the closet for a handful of years now though, having come out around 14/15 years old. and despite presiding over a country known for its historical and demographical religious affiliations to islam, catholicism, and eastern orthodoxy, the royal dervishi family has been largely non-religious for the last few generations (minus queen amira’s parents + older relatives in bosnia & herzegovina, who are bosniaks and therefore label themselves as non-denominational muslims), instead taking on a strictly agnostic point of view, studying differing religions from only a philosophical and cultural standpoint for the most part. so in short, king besim and queen amira were pretty chill about the whole “lesbian daughter” situation.
she has two brothers (nick robinson and shawn mendes fc) who are the respective crown prince and prince of albania, and i’m super excited for them, so anyone who might be interested in making one of them should hmu for additional info/plots!
her maternal grandparents are also the renounced king and queen of bosnia & herzegovina (their eldest son and/or daughter is now reigning), so if anyone wants to make some royal aunts, uncles, cousins etc. from there, that’s cool too. you don’t need to hmu for that, but you can if you want!
i’m officially out of tidbits, so i’ll add more to this later if i can think of anything else. but for the time being, this is all i got. love me?? :|
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