#they’re like doubling my pay because of it but guys i just want to help because granny

[national-hockey-gay]

me, thinking about going up to help on my grandparents farm for the summer

my granny: oh yeah well i’m getting both of my hips replaced so the help would be nice

WHAT

[imdoingsortagay]

Rio x reader x agatha smut where the reader is a brat do they punish reader by edging them over and over and they DP reader 🫣

Let's Get Screwed !

Pairing: Agatha Harkness X Rio Vidal x Reader

Word count: 3.0k words

Summary: They weren't paying you any attention and so you took it upon your hands to get it

Warnings: 18+ smut, Mommy and Mistress kink, Kate is here, Anal( R receiving), fingering ( R receiving), double penetration, sort of soft agatha, toys, soft moment.

This neighborhood party hosted by Dottie was getting boring. You didn’t want to go at all and wanted to spend the day at home but your neighbors had begged you to join along as they didn’t want to be stuck hearing about the other ladies. 

Rio and Agatha had taken a bit of a liking to you and you didn’t mind the company on nights where you didn’t have to go to work, which lead to a situationship between the three of you.

They were happily married to each other while you were their third, their perfect little pet who did no wrong.  The young adult just out of college focusing on your career.You assumed they just wanted you as a way to spice up their life not knowing that they had feelings for you. 

“ Are you gonna keep staring at them or actually listen to what I’m saying y/n?” Kate ask you. 

“ staring at who……” you play dumb while your best friend rolls her eyes. You were so bad at faking it. 

“ I’m guessing the three of you are still in the fucking stages them,” she says and you nod and burry your head in your hands dramatically. It had also been 2 weeks since they fucked you and all you wanted was their attention, no matter how you had to get it. 

“ Kate babe you have no idea, like works been up my ass about the new social media campaign and I haven’t had a good fuck in,” you pause to think,” 2 weeks Kate”. One of the moms in the neighborhood hears you cuss and gives you a side eye which you ignore and Kate just holds in her laugh. 

“ have you tried discussing your feelings with the woman? “ she offers up. 

“ nah,” and she rolls her eyes. 

“ texted them about talking ?” 

“ tried but schedules didn’t line up ?” 

“ Carrier pigeon ?” Kate asks sarcastically.

“ Does Yelena know a guy who does that because I’m actually considering it,” and Kate slaps your arm at your stubbornness. 

“ maybe you just need to make them jealous so they can fucking talk about their feelings,” she says sarcastically says, giving you a good idea. 

“ Would you help me Katherine ? Oh pretty please Katherine bishop ? Will you help your bestie friend to-“ and before you can say anything else she lightly slaps your arm to get you to shut up. God you annoyed her sometimes but she was up for the cause. 

“ you’re such a brat,” she chuckles and you smile at the compliment. 

“ hopefully it helps me with them fucking me til I can’t think,” you say, Kate not missing a second at she wraps her arm around your waist. 

The rest of the party , the both of you act like a lovesick couple, Kate holding your hand as the both of you sit together listening to Dottie talk about her plants. Mrs Davis calls you both adorable whenever Kate feeds you a chocolate covered strawberry , all while Rio and Agatha just try to keep their cool infront of everyone.

“ y/n is being a brat Aggie,” Rio says in a quiet tone to her wife as they watch you strut around with Bishop. Both ladies knew that Kate had eyes for Yelena so there was no reason to be throwing yourself at her in front of everyone in the neighborhood. 

“ give it another minute babe,” Agatha says watching you and Kate go off hand in hand,” then we’ll take them home and teach them a lesson”. 

“ you think they saw us?” Kate laughs nervously as she’s in no mood to piss off the milfs. 

“ definitely knowing them they’re on the way the way to come and ‘ talk’ or whatever “ you say. 

“ I’m actually down to go y/n,” and you nod as she leads you towards the backyard exit, not before a soft pair of hands takes you away from your friend.

“ Mrs Harness-Vidal !” Kate’s says while you try to hide your blush. Right on cue.

“ Quite the showing affection the two of you were showing huh superstars?” She curiously asks and before Kate can respond Rio appears with a plate of food to take home.

“ Really Rio ? right now ?” Agatha asks.

“ Mrs Davis offered and I wasn’t gonna say no darling,” she defends herself. 

“ Anyways,” Agatha begins again,” where are you and y/n going anyways Bishop?” 

“ probably gonna go back to my place and watch tv ya know ?” Kate attempts to act cool while you snort at her attempt. 

“ we can take y/n back with us babe,” Rio speaks up,” I know you probably still have to take your dog on a walk right ?” 

Kate gives you one more look before you give her a little nod, signaling to her that you’d be okay. 

“ bye y/n,” she gives you a quick kiss on your cheek before heading back to her place. Oh you were fucked after that.

Both ladies keep their composure as the three of you head over to the married couples place, the sound of Rio humming preventing you from freaking out as to what might happen.

“ on your knees pet,” Rio is the first one to speak and you don’t obey immediately, feeling confident to defy her. 

“ actually I think I’ll sit on the couch,” you say and make your way to the couch, Agatha’s face showing a bit of shock.

“ oh so someone wants to be a brat ? Not listening to your mistress when she’s giving you orders?” Agatha asks and you don’t budge.

“ maybe if you had payed attention to me more at the party mommy I would have behaved you think-“ and Agatha shoves you off the couch to your knees. You let out a huff as the older woman chuckles. 

“ listen here slut,” she has a grip on your chin,” your mistress and I are gonna punish you for being a bad pet for us and throwing yourself at Kate like that. You’re ours til the end of time you know that right ?” 

You nod as best as you can, mind feeling a bit fuzzy at her command. 

“ let mommy use your mouth with her fingers while Mistress undresses herself,” she tells you shoving two of her fingers in your mouth to suck, putting on a show for both ladies in front of you. Rio made a show of slowly taking off the dress in-front of you and her wife, taking her time to taunt you like the way she was an expert at.

“ fuck baby you’re drooling and you haven’t gotten my cock in your greedy mouth, she says with fake pity in her voice,” Rio baby, here or there bedroom”.

“ bedroom,” she answers and the three of you head to their main room, Agatha places you in the middle of the queen size bed while Rio places herself behind you. 

“ Now it’s time for mommy to undress herself for us,” Rio says and you feel her arms wrap around your waist. All you can do is watch as the older woman in front of you makes a show of taking off each of her clothes, mind going crazy whenever you see her naked body and acting like it’s the first time you’ve seen her in all her beauty. 

“ Is she wet for us honey? “ Agatha asks her wife and you feel one of Rio’s hands slowly go to your clothed center and pushing past your panties to feel your wetness. You lift yourself up a bit for the women behind you to take off your shorts and underwear in one swift motion, Rio helping you spread your legs so Agatha can see just how wet you got. 

“ Should Mommy pay attention to that pussy of your pet? Personally I don’t think you after you decided to be a whore at the party and throw yourself onto Kate,” Rio whispers in your ear and you whine as you try to get any sort of friction from her fingers. Agatha gives her wife a look before she removes her fingers and holds you in place again. You wondered what they had planned for you after deciding to act all lovey lovey with Kate and sassing them.

“ Mommy is just gonna run to the closet and grab some items for us okay doll? Stay here with Mistress and maybe if you behave we’ll be easier on you tonight,” and you nod. 

“ Mommy needs your words pet,” Rio holds your chin so you maintain eye contact with the other woman in the room.

“ Okay, Mommy,” and you see the woman smile before she goes to the closet while Rio moves her hand away from your needy pussy. The other hand that was holding you in place goes to your left tit while the other one goes to your mouth and she puts three fingers for you to suck. She might put up a tough exterior on the outside but when the three of you were in the bedroom, she was always the one to be more gentler that Agatha was which you always appreciated. 

“ Just let Mistress play with your body pet,” she orders and you whine around your fingers,” want you to be ready for what Mommy and I have planned for you”. 

It felt like an eternity as Rio took the fingers out of your mouth to go to your other nipple, giggling a bit as she messes with your bread, enjoying the little noises you make and before you try to protest Agatha comes back with two harnesses, a pair of cuffs, bottle of lube and two Dildos. What you don’t see is Rio smile at the idea her wife was proposing. 

“ Someone is feeling adventurous, “ Rio says as the both of them change places for a bit, Rio take a minute to put on one of the harnesses and you feel Agatha sit behind you. 

“ if you even think about using those hands we don’t hesitate to cuff you,” she spits out as her right hands goes to her cunt, two fingers going into your wet cunt with ease. Agatha goes slow and steady as she gets you ready for Rio’s cock. 

Both ladies give each other knowing looks, the woman under you positioning you so that you’re in a comfy position.

“ Mistress is gonna fuck your pussy a bit baby while I play with your other hole okay pet?” 

Oh , anal tonight ? 

“  Mommy needs your word honey,” Rio says as the cock slowly goes into your went cunt, letting you adjust to the size. 

“ Yes Mommy,” you mumble,” I’ll be good”. 

“ Good job pet, who knew I had to mention using your other hole and all of a sudden you decided to be good for Mistress and Mommy” and Rio giggles at your silence. Agatha wasn’t wrong at all, both ladies know you like the back of your hand. 

“ Honey, be a doll and start fucking that pussy while I get their other hole ready for my cock,” and Rio doesn’t have to be told twice as she takes it slow then you feel one one of Agatha’s long fingers tease your puckered hole, feeling the lubed fingers slowly go inside. 

“ Fuck Mistress,” you moan out as Rio fucks your pussy, expertly thrusting into you and teasing your sensitive nipples while her wife get’s to work on you asshole. Agatha groans under you, the feeling of her long fingers bringing you pleasure and without another thought, your right hand goes to your clits for more pleasure but not before Rio stops her movements. 

“ Oh honey, looks like our pet thinks they can touch their needy cunt whenever,” Rio says in a mocking tone, Agatha quickly grabs the cuffs from the right side of her and puts your arms in a comfy position. 

“ We might just be here all night if you can’t decide to be a good pet baby” Agatha says as she starts to thrust the two fingers in your butt, the woman basking in your glory with Rio goes at a slow pace, waiting for what her wife wants to do to you next. 

“ Is Y/N ready for your cock in their ass Aggie? I can tell from the way their legs are slowly wanting to close that our pet is close,” she laughs as she goes just a bit faster to make the point and rubs your clit as a tourating pace. Agatha does want to mess with you just a bit more but she’d rather want you in a more comfortable position first before anything else.

“ Lay down on the bed Rio and then be a good pet for us and sit on Mistress’ lap,” you nod, Rio slowly pulling out of you and going to sit on the bed, Agatha helping you to go back on her cock. No shame as she observes the way your face scrunches up at the feeling of the cock inside of your needy cunt. You lay your head on the other woman’s shoulder as you compose yourself, Rio rubbing small circles in your back while Agatha puts on her purple to use on you.

“ Now just stay still for us pet while I put my cock in your other hole for us,” she whispers in your ear, Rio whispering praises in your other ear to distract you at the toy went in your ass. It’s not like it’s your first time having something inside your ass, both of them training you with small plugs but it’s the first time having something bigger than just a small sized plug in you. 

“ Fuck honey, we should have done with sooner with y/n,” Agatha groans out as you take her cock so easily, Rio taking that as a sign to slowly start thrusting. You moan at the feeling of the woman under you fucking your pussy while Agatha starts to thrust in and out of you as well. You might just cum soon if they keep it up. 

“ Do you like mommy fucking your ass baby?” And you nod. 

“ Pet,” she pulls your hair,” don’t be rude to your mistress and answer the question”

“ Yes Mistress,” you moan out,” I like mommy fucking my ass, I’m so close”. 

“ Unfortunately because you decided to be a brat and whore yourself out, Mommy and I are gonna have fun using you like the little toy you are for us,” Rio chuckles at the fear in your face. The next hour both ladies is filled with begging, several ruined orgasms and so many noises coming from your pretty mouth as the ladies punish you for your actions from earlier, reminding you never to act out in front of them. 

“ Are you gonna be a good pet for us and never do that shit again” Agatha asks and you nod, brain feeling too dizzy and foggy to say any words. 

“ Use your big girl words pet,” Agatha orders,” unless you want to go another round”. 

“ M’sorry, mommy and mistress,” you whine out,” wanna cum, please, wanna cum on your cocks”. Both of them give each other looks, wondering if they should just cave in and let you cum. 

“ Promise not to act like that with Kate pet?” Rio asks and you nod. 

“ Promise to be ours and only ours baby?” You hear Agatha say in a sweet tone and you again nod, finding it hard to keep holding on until Agatha snakes your hand to your clit. 

“ Cum for us pet,” Rio whispers and you scream as your orgasm hits you hard, Rio helping you stay in place as the older woman slowly pulls out of your other hole first before Rio does. She whisper sweet praises in your ear while you bury your head in her chest. Agatha gets rid of her strap in the bathroom then comes back with a cup of water along with a rag to clean you. 

“ I know you wanna sleep honeybee but Aggie needs to clean you off,” and you nod as Rio helps you get off of her cock, your pussy feeling empty while Agatha can’t help to admire what both of them did to you. You whine at the feeling of the wet rag on your sensitive core but Agatha is the one to comfort you and lay with you after. 

“ Aggie? “ 

“ Yeah honeybee?” She asks you, admiring how adorable you look in her arms. Rio quietly makes her way to your right side so that both ladies are in between your tired body. 

“ Did you mean what you said earlier? Bout me being yours and Rio’s only? “ you asks with a bit of hope in your eyes, too tired to go home if they were to say no.

“ Of course,” she says,” Rio and I want you to be ours, we just hope you feel the same way”. 

“ I agree babe,” Rio adds,” We want to treat you like the princess you are, we didn’t like the way Kate was all over you earlier at the party ya know?”

“ I just wanted to see if you would get jealous,” you mumble as they cuddle with you, enjoying the feeling of Agatha petting your hair while Rio rubs your back. Both ladies chuckle at the revelation, a bit shocked they actually took your bait. 

“ I wonder where you got that from,” the sarcasm from Agatha’s mouth as she looks at her wife who acts innocent, making you giggle. For the rest of the night the three of you all take in the comfort of each other before drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms. 

[wonderjanga]

Billy Pranks Hal

Billy doesn’t know the difference between pranks and straight up crime. He doesn’t know this because Freddy’s ideas of pranks are crimes. The reason this is, is because he didn’t really grown up around any other kids his age. So, Freddy’s the best example he’s got. So, when Hal pranks him, he decides to “prank” him back. By the way, during all of this, he thinks this is just lighthearted fun.

Billy (in Marvel from) gets the most brilliant idea. Though, technically it isn’t his idea, but rather Freddy’s. He’s going to hire a hooker to give Hal herpes. Pause, and run it back. He’s going to hire a hooker, bring her to the Watchtower, have her brush her teeth with Hal’s toothbrush, and then that will him herpes. Freddy said he saw it on a Southpark episode and wanted to see if it would actually work in real life. So the two talked to Ms.Bambi to see if any of her friends had the disease and sure enough she knew someone. She was a little skeptical, but when they told her the reason, she gave in. But she did end up supervising them the whole way, including going with them to the guy they were “pranking’s” house. It’s one of Billy’s favorite memories.

So, Billy approaches her as Marvel and asks her her to do it. She briefly remarks about how this is the second time she’s had to do this, but agrees as long as he pays her fare. He scrounges up the few dollars he has, pays her, and he takes her to the Watchtower. He obviously gets weird looks because why did Captain Marvel of all people come to the Watchtower with someone who looks(they didn’t want to assume) like a hooker? Meanwhile, Marvel and Ms.Hooker are chatting about being broke, ignoring the looks. Eventually they get to Hal’s room and just as they’re about to find a way in, John leaves the room next to them.

John: “Hey, Cap.” *waves, then does a double take at Ms.Hooker* “Who’s this?”

Marvel: “Hmm? Oh, this is Ms.Foxy.”

Ms.Foxy: “Hey.” *waves*

John: “Okay… Cool. Cool… Why’re you trying to get into Green Lantern’s room?”

Ms.Foxy: “Aren’t you Green Lantern?”

Marvel: “There’s like four of them actually.” *looks over to Ms.Foxy while holding up 4 fingers*

John: “There’s actually more- Never mind, you didn’t answer my question, Cap.”

Marvel: “Oh right! I’m pranking him. Ms.Foxy is going to help me.” *gestures to Ms.Foxy*

John: “Huh. Really? What’re you going to do?”

Marvel: “She’s gonna give him herpes.”

*loud silence*

John: “…What?”

Marvel: “She’s gonna give him herpes.”

John: “…okay. I thought I heard you correctly. YOU’RE GOING TO DO WHAT?!”

Marvel: *surprised by the sudden yelling* “She’s going to give him herpes- why is that so surprising?”

Ms.Foxy: “No offense, big man, but that’s not necessarily something you do just as a prank.” *Pats Marvel’s arm* “This is more getting revenge for someone hitting your dog with a car type of shit.”

John: “YES! She’s right! What did he do to you? How bad was the prank??”

Marvel: “Nothing that bad? All he did was leave a tack on my chair when we switched for monitor duty. It didn’t really do anything though except bend since it couldn’t prick me.”

John: “Okay???? Then what did he do to warrant this??” *sounds extremely distressed and confused*

Marvel: “Well, he pranked me. I’m just pranking him back.”

Ms.Foxy: “I don’t think you get what he’s trying to tell you. This isn’t really a prank, bud. It’s more like chemical warfare.”

Marvel: “Really…? I had no idea. I thought this was normal.” *sighs*

John: “Why would this be normal?”

Ms.Foxy: *ignores him* “Do you want your money back since we aren’t going to do it?”

John: “Money?”

Marvel: *also ignores him* “No, it’s fine, Ms.Foxy. Keep it.” *gives her sunny smile*

John: *takes deep breath* “Captain. Is this woman a hooker?”

Ms.Foxy: *looks over to start acknowledging him again* “I prefer the term prostitute.”

Marvel: *also starts acknowledging him again* “Yeah GL, she prefers the term prostitute. But yes, she’s a hooker.”

John: *takes a few minutes to process his words* “Captain… why is a hooker in the Watchtower?”

Marvel: “Again, prostitute. Also, she’s the one who has herpes. She was kind of needed for this entire prank to happen.”

John: “Prostitute, hooker, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that she’s a civilian. Also stop calling it a prank.”

Ms.Foxy: “He is right, you really should stop calling it that.” *nods head*

John: “Look, just get her outta here. Civilians aren’t allowed up here. Bats is gonna glare at you the same way he did to Flash when he brought someone up here.”

Marvel: “Alright alright. Noted. I won’t bring anyone else up here.” *looks over to Ms.Foxy* “Let’s head back then.”

*They leave while John is still processing everything that just went down*

[innerempire]

Peter starts calling Tony “daddy” as a goof. He means nothing by it (at first) because as Tony gets older, his concern towards the boy doubles (triples?). Checks in on Peter regularly during his first year in college and there’s this one time where Peter thinks he must have sounded so painfully homesick that Tony makes the trip down.

It’s sweet, even if Tony spends half the time bitching about the boy’s living conditions (really, it’s not that bad, Tony. You’re just bougie as hell). A week later, he comes back to his dorm to a couple of packages. There’s a bunch of fancy-sounding shit Peter can’t pronounce even if he wants to. Like, why the hell would he need a shaver that costs $500???? Or a complete set of toiletries that costs more than his Molecular Biophysics textbook? Or bedsheets that are so ridiculously soft and cool to the touch that it makes waking up for his 8am classes somewhat impossible?

There’s also a box that’s basically just snacks. Lots of it. Because Peter had complained about how the vending machine was always spoilt and the options meager.

So yeah, he thinks Tony’s got quite the soft spot for him even if he hides it behind his “yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Pete”.

He doesn’t think much of it when he sends the text: lol, a bit overboard, but thank you daddy 😉

Again, Peter had meant it as a goof because he knows Tony can get a little dramatic about his age.

Tony: What are they teaching you in college

Peter: What? I’m just expressing my thanks to an older man whom has posed to be quite the paternal figure in my life.

Peter: But yeah, seriously, thank you. The snacks are godsent. So is the new puffer jacket. But like, winter break isn’t for a couple of months yet?? And I don’t really need like, new pillows, but they’re really, really nice.

Tony: Daddy aims to please.

Peter laughs at the message, glad that the older male was playing along at least. He keeps it up for the next couple of months, Tony doesn’t tell him to stop.

Tony: What do you think about cornice ceiling designs?

Peter: what?? what’s a cornice

Tony: you know what, it’s probably a no for you.

Peter: okay. just googled it. why are you looking at ceiling designs?

Peter: are you renovating stark tower? again?

Peter: it’s rude not to reply because I can see that you’re online.

Tony: daddy’s in a meeting, baby. hush and I’ll text you later.

And Peter is…

floored.

Because baby? BABY? Was Tony confusing him for someone else? He rereads the message again, ignoring the tiny spark of heat at the endearment. He wonders if this is Tony’s way of fucking with him after all these months. He wouldn’t be surprised actually.

Peter: ok, no to the cornice btw.

He comes home for winter break and maybe he has missed Tony more than usual. It feels like they’re closer than usual, and if the rest of the Avengers notice that they’re chummier than usual, or how Tony is always in a visibly better mood whenever the boy’s around, no one’s saying anything (yet).

It’s chaotic when the team gets together and Peter’s trying to excitedly talk over Tony about something, cutting the older male off. Tony just clamps a hand over Peter’s mouth, and chides him playfully,

“Okay, baby, don’t interrupt when the adults are talking. Daddy taught you better than that.”

Peter’s words comes out muffled as he protests, not realizing that Steve and Scott are straight up gawking at them. Natasha doesn’t even seem fazed, holding her right palm up towards Clint and mouthing, “pay up, loser.”

Bucky basically goes, “Oh shit, so it’s like that, huh?”

“Well, considering the age gap and how they’ve always interacted, is it really that surprising?” Bruce muses out loud.

Peter peels Tony’s fingers away from his mouth, “Guys, what, no - we’re not-“ He glances at Tony for some help.

“Aw, cute. He’s looking at his daddy for help.” Natasha teases.

“So we’ve upgraded from “kid” to “baby”, huh?”

[aajjks]

Fa(i)lling (JJK.)

synopsis. He’s so embarrassing, pathetic, super bad at lying and hopelessly in love with you.

pairing: secret soft yandere simp!jungkook x barista!reader.

warnings. Soft yandere, fluff, manipulation, obsession, lying, mentions of stalking, he’s such a pathetic fool in love 😭, fluffy fluffy fluffy!!

note. happy late Valentine’s Day 💌 share ur thoughts & ENJOY! HAPPY HOBI DAYYY! 🥹🫶💌

part two of CRUSH.

Jungkook doesn’t like you.

And maybe the why his heart is pounding so abnormally fast is because he just wants to get over with this, he’s trying to convince himself; that,

That’s the reason why he is feeling all of these sickly feelings in his stomach.

But he knows in his heart, that’s not the reason.

The reason is you.

You, you who he wants to hate so bad.

But too bad that he’s so obsessed with you.

Jungkook taps his feet on the marble floor, his fingers bounce on the black table as he waits for you to come.

God, he’s so pathetic.

Why is he like this? And the biggest problem was? He needed to think of an excuse.

He obviously couldn’t tell you that he was here stalking— no, he wasn’t stalking you! He was just…. watching you,

No, that sounds even more creepy.

He is chewing on his lower lip, he’s biting on the meat so hard that it feels painful, “Jungkook?” He almost feels startled by your voice.

But the man immediately fixes his posture and clears his throat. You give him a sweet look as you sit down infront of him, the coffee’s in your hand.

Jungkook can’t help but wonder what you like? What if you guys have similar tastes? That would be nice— no, he stops his thoughts from getting ahead.

He should stop being so delusional.

Stop thinking, idiot.

“So here’s your coffee…” you begin the conversation, he notices the cold brew as you pass it to him, his cheeks tighten when he realises that it’s the same for the both of you,

And he likes it too. He can feel he’s blushing, your eyes are looking at him, you can sense his flustered state, just by his expressions.

Shit, I’m so fucking embarrassing!

Jungkook wants to drown in the ocean. He’s sure he’s having heart eyes like in the cartoons.

“I hope you’ll like it, what did you want to talk about?” You cross your hands, he sighs, he can’t bring himself to calm down, its like his body is on fire.

Why do you make him feel so helpless?

“U-Um..” he avoids your e/c eyes, he hates your eyes, so much, they’re so hypnotic,

and he can’t afford to speak the truth so he needs so focus.

“Can you..” he’s thinking so hard about it, Jungkook is the biggest idiot in the world, if only he could slap himself.

He can’t come up with anything that sounds believable.

Well it’s too late, now or never.

“Can you tutor me?”

You almost choke, he closes his eyes so you don’t sense the nervousness, “i-it’s just that I really can’t stand physics… I fuckin’ hate it.” He almost doesn’t stutter.

He is getting good at this.

“Because I’m almost failing it.”

He wants to see you often, more.

“Look yn you can’t refuse!”

“Ex-Excuse me?”

“Be my teacher I mean! J-Just agree already please!” Jungkook’s eyes are now open and wide, his tone is borderline desperate but yet he sounds so demanding.

Way to go jungkook! He thinks to himself. He leans closer to the table, “please?”

“U-Um okay, I guess?” You reply, you’re so confused. “But I can’t give you much of my time.”

He’s confused too, but he doesn’t regret his lie.

“What do you mean?”

“… I tutor a guy in my calculus class so… we need to discus and adjust on the timings.”

Jungkook’s jaw is clenching, he feels his skin itch at that, he needs your time only on him.

Fuck that dude.

“But I need you- i-i mean your attention- tutoring wise more!” He argues. “I think I’m failing calculus too!”

Another lie. What the fuck is wrong with me.

“Please agree yn… I’ll pay you double! I need you-your time! Ditch that guy!”

He’s so fucking pathetic.

“Umm… Jungkook okay?” You nod, seemingly in deep thoughts.

He finally sighs in relief and takes a sip of his coffee, it’s hard for him to contain his growing smirk but he can’t let you find him weird.

“Thank you! So… you like whip cream on your brew?”

He’s so dumb.

[starsfic]

The Week After, Chapter 4: Day 3 and 4

The next two days passed in silence.

Morgan did the tax plus additional employment paperwork in the office, secretly glad that they thought to bring their social security card with them, just in case. Frankie stayed in the office as well, mumbling to himself as he tapped on a laptop. It was a ridiculous sight, considering how tall he was and how small the laptop was, but they swallowed back a laugh and focused on the paperwork.

The last step was to send the paperwork by scanning a QR code on the back. Morgan raised a brow but raised their phone up and scanned it. A link popped up and they clicked it. There was a soft ding, and a little animation of Frankie dancing popped up, with a message overhead saying that they were done.

With that done, Morgan stood up. They still had stuff to unpack and figure out where to put in the studio apartment that the break room now was. Their phone gave a second ding and they checked the screen.

“Holy fuck.”

“Language, my dear!” Frankie said, turning his head. “What is it?”

“I just got paid for this season,” they said, rubbing their eyes to make sure they didn’t mistake the number that had popped up. “That…it’s a lot.” It wasn’t five million dollars, but it was a lot, enough that it felt like more of a bribe than a paycheck. It was also more than they ever got from the stupid retail job or even gambling on the show, so Morgan was more than happy to accept the bribe.

“How much?”

That wasn’t Frankie’s voice. Morgan looked up to see two men walking up, both dressed in overalls and work clothes. They felt their body tense instinctively at the sight. “Who are you?”

“They’re here for me,” Frankie said, patting their shoulder.

“Yep, here for the updates,” the older of the two said, looking Frankie up and down. “It was a surprise when we got the order, but hey. Upgrades had to happen eventually.”

That felt like he was talking about something else. Frankie felt it, based on how his grip on their shoulder tightened. Then he released, patting their back. “Well, let’s go, shall we?” he said, stepping around them. “We don’t want to waste any of your time, do we?”

“Yep. Come on…”

The younger guy stayed back. His gaze didn’t seem angry, they realized- he looked awestruck. “So, how much?” he said. “I heard you agreed to do double or nothing.”

Morgan rattled out a number.

“Wow. That’s almost as much as the animators get paid.”

Huh. “The animators get paid a decent salary?” That raised several questions

The maintenance man chuckled. “Mostly because the boss is terrified of them, especially the director.” He leaned forward into a stage whisper. “From what I heard, he trusts her to manage his animations, and the last time he even thought of decreasing the pay, she made him regret it.” Morgan stifled a chuckle at the thought of Cartoon Frankie being terrified. From the few interactions they had, he had felt like he knew he was in charge and made sure you knew it.

“MITCHELL!” the older man boomed. “GET OFF YOUR ASS AND COME HELP ME!”

Mitchell jumped. “SORRY SWANSEA! COMING!” He turned back to them and smiled. “It was nice to meet you, though! Hope you don’t die next season!”

More questions rose up as he rushed away from them.

[vctrvn-ls]

|On a Plane•|Beta Squad|

✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️

not 3am thoughts but plane thoughts (pretty appropriate)

✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️

Chunkz

Let’s start this off simple. He’d sleep. He would literally just close his eyes at takeoff and only wake up when they’re bringing the food around. But at some point he’d want to watch a movie with you, so you’d share a pair of headphones and get cozy next to each other. He’d get out the blanket that the plane offers and put it over you and him, lift the armrest up and let you lay your head down on his soft shoulder. You’d definitely watch a cartoon, maybe something like Turbo (movie about the racing snail) but it wouldn’t be long until you dozed off in your comfortable position, arms wrapped around one of his. He’d soon join you, after taking a couple of crazy selfies with your hilarious sleeping face, he’d carefully lay his cheek on the top of your head and also fall asleep, only waking up for the landing.

AJ

Ayooo this fvcking guy. Firstly, he’d definitely be vlogging and he’d want some action on this flight, so he’d force you to play different games with him. For example a game of cards and whoever wins pays for the others meal. Aj wouldn’t let you sleep, he didn’t get on this flight to sleep (like Chunkz), of course he’d let you sleep, but with him by your side you wouldn’t even want to. Would you get complaints? Uuuh maybe? But you’d be respectful…as much as you could. After being two crazy people you’d listen to some music together while playing the shitty games on the plane monitors, laughing at the candy crush rip offs.

Kenny

Every time I start writing one of these “thoughts” I always call Kenny baby. Cause he is (please I’m crying), he’d be so so sweet. He’d make sure you weren’t sitting in front of an annoying kid who kicks your seat, or a man who keeps pushing your chair up with his knees cause there’s no space (Niko??). He’d put you first on any type of trip. He’d give you his blanket, let you sleep on him, give you his dessert when it’s meal time. And you’d appreciate every little thing, and after convincing him that he could lay down on your shoulder and sleep (cause we know our bbg needs his rest) he’d slowly start falling asleep. Being the good gf you are you’d pull a blanket over him and place a small, but affectionate kiss on the top of his head, before smiling to yourself and continuing to watch the movie that you were watching.

Sharky

Like Kenny Sharky would give you everything you need and more. He’d definitely bring two head-pillow-things, one for you and for himself. He knows how hard it is to fall asleep sometimes so he’d also get matching blindfolds to go. When you get on the plane you’re both excited. Sharky let you have the window seat on the condition that you’d take the best photos for insta stories. Flying with Sharky would generally be chill. You’d double connect your AirPods to his phone and listen to his Frank Ocean playlist and you’d end up napping on the window while Sharky draws little circles on your knee. (I need Sharky next to me rn and not this guy who keeps crashing into me w his head when he falls asleep)

Niko

Girrrlll, listen, I feel like Niko’s the type of person who’d be worried that their ears won’t unblock during the flight. Like he wouldn’t want to be uncomfortable for the next several hours of the flight, so he’d stress about it on take off. You’d obviously know about this and be there to help him (or also worry with him, I would cause my ears are pain in my life) so you’d chew packs and packs of gum until you were at a stable height. Once you stopped worrying about that…Niko would probably fall asleep. With his mouth open. On you. Look as much as you’d want a romantic trip, you won’t get it, not on a plane. Niko is our little cutie patootie and we need to let him sleep, because as soon as the two of you land wherever, he’ll be taking care of you like you’re the most precious thing in the world (which to him you are) so it’s only fair for you to get comfy in your seat, lay Niko onto you and sleep yourself (or watch a movie)

[freeuselandonorris]

thoughts on the recent sportbible landoscar challenge?

hello anon!! saved this until i could rewatch properly and analyse in depth (i.e. the 4pm slump when i’m meant to be working)

under a cut because it turns out that i have many MANY thoughts

- oscar very carefully and diplomatically clarifying that he thinks it’s polite to pay on a first date unless the other person wants to go halves while lando is not listening in the slightest and then, when prompted, being like NO FUCK OFF I AM RICH AND CHIVALROUS feels like THE most perfect example of their respective personalities. specifically oscar's tendency to carefully think through his answers and caveat them appropriately whereas lando just opens his mouth and says some words, clearly with good intent but with absolutely no thought as to how it's coming across 🥲

- oscar immediately backtracking when he realises lando’s genuinely miffed about the paying for a date thing!!

- the way they just stare at each other like two cats about to have a fight when oscar says “i can just see you as that kind of bloke”, lando's eyebrows about to climb off the top of his forehead and join his hair

- oscar blithely agreeing when lando says “doesn’t mean they’re not gonna have a great time” and not quite catching what lando’s insinuating 😭 i can't tell if it suddenly dawns on him a few seconds later or if he's laughing at the host guy saying "but they'll be out of pocket"

- lando sitting in increasingly unhinged formations until their toes and knees are almost touching !!

- oscar quietly sniggering away to himself about the celebrity DMs question which clearly panics lando hence the bratty little DON’TTT-UH which is my favourite kind of lando (i.e. when he forgets he's meant to be a cool racing driver and the inner five year having a temper tantrum makes an appearance - usually seen more with max, a rare treat to see him doing it to oscar!) and then oscar seems to choose a more benign anecdote to tell instead. WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY OSCAR

- lando’s tiny little smile to himself when oscar says “one of the first times i met you”????

- “osco?” “that’s my new nickname” 💀💀💀 the way he goes along patiently with lando’s silly little fanservice whims. hate it, awful, help

- obviously Much has been said about “why does dating have to be a woman??” so i shall not add to it too much… i do think he was largely only saying it to be contrary, but what is it about these sportbible interviews that makes him extra fruity? the other one is red flag green flag which literally had me googling is lando norris bisexual afterwards.

- “george? probably about himself” 😭 such a little cunt. also, oscar conspicuously not giggling at the makeup jibe even though he laughs at the rest of it, see point (1) above

- oscar pulling lando up on whether fernando would cry at movies but fully accepting his own presence on the list

- lando doubling down and correcting “osc-O 😔” girl stop it

- “he just cries at dogs or summink” lando PLEASE

- oscar pantomiming “nooo” in the background at the driver of the day vote while lando does his best Winning Smile to Camera even though he’s clearly bored of this whole interview.

in summary: not THE most unhinged landoscar interview but certainly somewhere in the top 10 if not top 5. also why did sportbible feel the need to post it in a fucking carousel of clips on their instagram.

[pintsizemama]

Decorating Cookies

Day 17

Summary: You decorate cookies with Will, Frankie, Benny, and Santi.

Pairings: Frankie Morales, Will Miller x You, Frankie Morales, Will Miller x Female Reader

Fandom: Triple Frontier

Rating: Mature

Warnings: language, talk of crime scenes and blow jobs, drinking

Word Count: 870

A/N: This goes along with the other Frankie/Will Christmas stories.

Day 16 Day 18 Christmas Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

You sat on the plush sectional in the cabin surrounded by your four favorite people. Benny and Santi had finally joined you, Will, and Frankie on your Christmas getaway. You were all watching a Christmas movie, but the guys weren’t paying much attention. You eyed the eggnog and saw everyone needed a refill. You stood up and gathered the glasses and disappeared into the kitchen while the guys gave Benny shit about his latest hookup.

Once in the kitchen, you poured more eggnog into each glass and added a hefty dose of bourbon. You made sure to do an extra pour—or two—into Will’s. After the movie you were all planning to decorate cookies together, and you figured the extra bourbon would help Will lighten up and not focus on each cookie being absolutely perfect. You brought the eggnog back in and handed it out to each of the guys. A chorus of ‘thank you’ followed you to your seat. Before you could sit back down Frankie snagged you and pulled you down next to him. He loved to cuddle, and you were surprised it took him this long to grab you. You snuggled in and watched the rest of the movie.

“Who’s ready for some cookie time?” Benny hollered out excitedly.

“Just make sure not to eat all of them before they’re decorated, Benny,” you said with a smile.

“That was one time!” Benny defended himself. You all chuckled and made quick work of pulling out everything you needed and spreading it out on the large table. Will looked a little unsteady, and you worried you may have put a little too much in his eggnog.

“What the fuck is wrong with the gingerbread house?” Benny asked.

“What?” Frankie said.

“Why does it look like two different people decorated it without consulting each other first?” Santi cut in.

“Well, Will decorated one side, and Frankie and I did the other,” you explained.

“Why?” Benny asked.

“Because Will is a perfectionist, and didn’t want us to get into another fight,” you answered.

“Another fight?” Santi questioned.

“Don’t ask,” Frankie groaned.

“Let’s just decorate some cookies,” Will told everyone. You all sat down and got to work. You had to scold Benny a few times for eating too many of the decorations, and Will knocked a few things over as he was reaching for them, but otherwise it was going well. After a while you looked up when you heard Will giggling. You noticed he was still drinking the eggnog. He kept giggling, and had now caught the attention of everyone at the table.

“What’s so funny, Will?” Frankie asked. Will held up his cookie. He was decorating a snowman shaped one and had decided to add a large carrot penis to the lower half, complete with two coal shaped balls.

“My snowman is hung like a horse,” Will laughed. You couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of you. The rest of his cookies were definitely not up to his standard. They looked closer to something Frankie would decorate. The guys looked at his work.

“You feeling ok?” Santi asked him.

“I feel great!” He said happily. “This was such a good idea!” He looked around at the cookies that still needed to be decorated. “Is there a Santa shaped one? I wanna make him getting a blow job from Mrs. Claus.”

“Oh Jesus,” you groaned.

“Is he drunk?” Frankie asked.

“I may have been pouring him doubles…and triples in his eggnog,” you confessed. Frankie sighed heavily. “I just wanted him relaxed for this! He’s always such a perfectionist, and I wanted him to have fun…I didn’t think he’d get this drunk. He usually holds his liquor really well.”

“Oh! The head came off this reindeer!” Will shouted. “I’m gonna make it look like a crime scene!” Benny was practically falling off his chair laughing. You carefully pulled the glass of eggnog away from Will while he was busy spreading red icing all over the reindeer to look like blood.

“I’m cutting him off,” you told the guys and pointed to the eggnog.

“Good idea,” Santi agreed. Frankie was watching Will before he turned to you.

“You know this means no sex with him tonight,” he told you.

“What the fuck,” you cursed angrily. “I didn’t think this through.”

“Just fuck Frankie,” Benny chimed in. “Isn’t that the point of two boyfriends? 24/7 dick on tap?”

“Wow, Benny, you’re so romantic,” Frankie said with an eye roll.

“What? Like you’re not gonna fuck her tonight?” Benny asked defensively.

“Not having this conversation with you, Benjamin,” Frankie said shaking his head.

“You might want to move some of those cookies away from him unless you want them all to be ridiculous,” Santi warned. Will had already grabbed three more to add to his Christmas crime scene. Oh, and there was one with Santa getting a blow job from an elf. You shook your head and moved the tray of undecorated cookies to the other side of the table. Will was all laughs and smiles, and you couldn’t feel too bad about getting him drunk. This was the most fun you’d seen him have in a long time.

Day 18

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[stuffyflowers]

Ok payback for last one I'm gonna pay you to yap now

Sans/Toriel, Ceroba/Alphys, Starlo/Dalv (Because I'm evil)

Oh, and Sona/Ceroba. I'll give you some respite after throwing in the one I know you hate :3c

Finally back from touching sand and playing with friends I can answer these

Sans and toriel is like staroba to me I honestly don’t care if it’s romantic or not I just think they’re so important to each other regardless of how you personally see em. So makes sense n compels me. Don’t have much more to say honestly no notes. um shoutout to that moment in the pacifist ending where sans steals her phone and pretends to be her im thinkin abt it again,, they’re so cute guys ]: )

Ceroba and alphys is the definition of makes no damn sense but compels me. Like the chances of either of them voluntarily being in the same room as each other for any amount of time is sooo unlikely but ‘women who project their self loathing onto each other bc they recognise their own faults and mistakes in them’ is my favourite ship dynamic right now it’s so good. Obviously alphyne and cerobas friendship with starlo is the healthiest outcome for each of them in their respective pacifist endings but what if they just made each other worse forever and ever actually 💖 Be each others outlet for their own guilt, drag each other further down into a self destructive pit, forever believing they are rotten to the core and no one could ever forgive or understand them… um!

🌽 yaoi booooooo 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅boooooooo🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅utdr fans we need to set higher yaoi standards there’s so much we could be cooking here but the one we’re latching onto is ‘guys who spoke to each other exactly once and have absolutely nothing interesting going on’ yaoi bc haha funny name + only (shippable) men in the main uty cast let’s be real here. Random thing that makes me lol when I think abt it is they’re literally standing as far away from each other as possible at all times in the one scene they’re actually in together like bros…….. there is nothing here. Sorry + no sense + not compelling + go ship starlo/el bailador or something instead im begging

Sonaroba obviously very similar boat to alphys and ceroba. My beloved trio of women who make mistakes that hurt people while trying to help/protect them. Sonaroba is even more interesting to me bc sona is essentially a worse-case-scenario ceroba: she never had that community to pull her out of her spiralling and grow as a person, she controls almost everyone. Staying this stagnant for as long as she has also means she’s even more stubborn than ceroba, too: ceroba is able to see the error in her thinking as soon as martlet is actually given the chance to reason with her, meanwhile sona in the imperfect endings doubles down on her initial perception of the monsters even when she acknowledges beforehand that she was wrong. She just can’t accept it. There’s so much to dig into 4 kcy. How would sona react to finding out what ceroba did, and how similar it is to her situation? Is there a mutual understanding that forms between them after they come clean to each other or does ceroba just become sonas scapegoat, “See? Monsters can’t be trusted! They will lie to and deceive you just to get what they want!” Would ceroba try to save her after the truth comes out by reasoning with her, even in the imperfect ending where she turns all of her friends into humans against their will?? What’s the limit for how far she’s willing to go to save a fucked up reflection of herself? Augh. Anyway. It’s a “kind of makes sense in the context of kissy cutie where the entire plot revolves around getting monsters to date frisks shitty racist aunt but probably not in any other context + COMPELS ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️”

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

kinktober #29

Spider's Web 🕸️ / Theme Park 🎡

“Whoa, whoa,” pants Poe, hands braced on his chubby knees. “Give a guy a break, okay? I haven’t done a whole lot of walking lately.”

“Oh, shit,” says Finn, grabbing Rey’s shoulder. “Yeah, sorry. We can take a minute.”

Poe nods gratefully, and Finn blows out a long breath, not out of annoyance but of suppressed desire. He and Rey have visited Poe several times since the first, always with some kind of treat to sweeten the deal, and today they made plans to take him to the boardwalk, with all of its chintzy carnival rides and fried delights. He’s dressed in the clothes they managed to dig up at the thrift shop where Rey gets most of her clothes, a  5XL white t-shirt and a pair of soft orange mesh basketball shorts that squeeze out even more side roll than Poe already has because they’re a little snug around his wide hips. He’s so big that even the 5XL covers him with barely inches to spare, the bottom of his belly hanging precariously even with the hem. His selkie skin is rolled up into a little bracelet around his chubby wrist, and his abundant belly rolls almost to his knees as he catches his breath at the edge of the beach. He looks delectable. 

Normally, when they hang out with Poe, they just chill under the pier, where they’ve got some privacy and Poe can keep his feet in the water. But Poe’s curious about how San Francisco has changed since he returned to the ocean, and the boardwalk attractions seem like the perfect intersection of “fun day out with friends” and “sort of a date, maybe?” Even after weeks of spending time with Poe, Finn still can’t figure out if the deep, fond look in Poe’s eyes when the three of them hang out is for them specifically, or if Poe just looks at everyone like that.

Now, Poe pulls himself back upright. “Okay,” he says, only a little breathless. “I think I’m good to go a little farther.”

Rey loops her arm in one of his, and Finn loops his arm in the other, and they tromp up across the sandy pavement like some sort of six-legged ocean creature. Poe’s side wobbles against Finn’s as they go, and he begs himself to keep it together. This is just the start of what promises to be a very trying day in, uh, very specific regards. 

Poe has to stop again when they get to the boardwalk, body jiggling as he flops heavily onto a bench. He takes up half of it, and Rey squeezes onto his other side to pet his hair and offer him some water, which he swigs gratefully from the giant reusable bottle she keeps clipped to her backpack. 

“It won’t be like this the whole time,” he says, leaning back on the bench and looking up at Finn. His belly mounds in his lap and sags between his plump thighs. Sweat is already darkening his t-shirt around his neck and beneath his soft chest. “I just always have a limbo period where I have to remember how to use my legs.”

“It’s fine!” says Finn, squeezing his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. We can go at your pace.”

“Thanks,” says Poe with a grin that makes him melt. “Also, this is probably something you’ve already figured out, since you always bring me stuff, but selkies need a lot of calories. And I’m gonna apologize in advance, because I have zero cash. I’ll pay you back somehow, eventually.”

“Oh, no worries,” says Finn. “Today’s our treat. As much as you can eat.”

Poe laughs. “Careful what you promise me, man.”

“What do you eat in the water?” asks Rey with interest. “Fish?”

Poe nods, his double chin bobbing. “A lot of fish. If I stay in the water long enough, I go full seal, so I don’t really have to think about it, but if I’m in and out more often, I miss having variety. Like, I like sushi fine, but I don’t want it all the time, you know?” He stretches his chubby arms over his head and rolls his shoulders, belly tumbling out from under his shirt in his lap. He tugs it down unselfconsciously and then offers Finn his hand. “All right, help me up and we can keep going?”

“Yeah,” says Finn, his turn to go breathless. “Sounds good.”

The real treat so far is watching Poe navigate the boardwalk. His gait is slow and swaying, hips pulled forward by the tremendous weight of his stomach. Finn had braced himself for stares or heckling — he hasn’t seen a lot of people his own size in California so far, never mind Poe’s — but this area is pretty touristy, and there’s a lot more size diversity here than he’s seen among the locals. Sure, he’s not sure either of them will fit on half of the rides, but then, Finn also wouldn’t trust half these rides as far as he could throw them, so it’s not a huge loss. Though he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t find it kind of hot to see Poe spilling out of a roller coaster car or something.

It’s not a roller coaster, but Poe does point out the little bumper car concourse as they go by. “I used to love those as a kid. You wanna go?”

“Uh, yeah,” says Finn, throat going dry. “Let’s go.”

Poe has to carefully wedge himself into the little car, and once he’s settled, his rolls overflow the sides and his belly mounds against the steering wheel. Even so, he drives pretty dexterously, which Finn finds impressive — he can drive, but he doen’t have to like it, and he’s certainly never gotten even a fraction of the joy out of it that Poe gets out of wheeling around the pavilion and slamming into him and Rey. When Finn turns the tables and pursues him for revenge, he gets so sidetracked by the way Poe looks from the back, wide shoulders and waist, thick bulges of fat over his elbows, that Rey almost knocks him off course completely.

He needs a hand from both of them to unwedge himself from the car when their ride is up, and he waddles back out into the sun massaging his sides where the edges of the car dug into him. Finn’s already been thinking about inviting him and Rey back to his apartment at the end of the day, if Poe can abide a little more time out of the water, and now he amends his plans to include helping Poe rub lotion or salve or something on any hard-to-reach bruises or chafes he might have within his rolls.

Rey tugs them over to the balloon darts booth, and she and Poe set themselves up while Finn watches, dividing his attention between the two of them and the nearby food stands. Poe’s clearly expending a lot of energy just waddling around, and he’ll need to build it back up somehow. Like a couple cheeseburgers or corn dogs or funnel cakes. Or ice cream. Ice cream has protein, right?

“Yes!” says Rey, and Finn turns back to see her pumping her fist.

“Hey, no fair,” Poe complains good-naturedly, grabbing a handful of his belly. “You can lean in a lot farther than I can.”

Rey grins. “A win’s a win.” She chooses a little stuffed bird that looks like a penguin without a beak as her prize and tucks it into the crook of Poe’s arm. “Here, a consolation prize. I’ll keep him safe when you go back in the water.”

Poe laughs. “Thanks. Want to go again?”

“Yes!” says Rey, and while they do, Finn wanders off and buys as much fried food as he can carry. By the time he gets back, Poe’s holding two more little stuffed animals and Rey is beaming.

“I think I like the boardwalk,” she says, stealing a fry from one of the cardboard containers balanced in Finn’s arms. 

Finn grins at her. “Yeah, I bet you do.”

Poe doesn’t fit at the picnic tables set up on the green behind the cotton candy stand, so Rey pulls a blanket out of her backpack and spreads it on the ground. Poe sinks down carefully, his bulk expanding to fill his lap and a full quarter of the blanket, and lets out a satisfied sigh as he starts to eat. 

“Thanks, man,” he says, catching Finn’s eye. “I was starting to need a break.”

“How’re you feeling?” he asks. Poe shrugs.

“Definitely better. My legs loosen up after a while, it just takes a bit of stop and go. Thanks for being patient.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I should teach you some stretches,” says Rey, doing a backbend just to show off. “Maybe it would help you acclimate faster.”

“We can try,” says Poe gamely. “Just keep in mind I can’t even see my toes, never mind touch them.”

Finn almost chokes on a bite of burger. Right. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. 

Poe’s still eating once Rey and Finn have finished, belly sagging into the slight dip between his fat thighs. His t-shirt stretches over the massive expanse of his belly, the indent of his navel visible through the cotton in a deep, wide shadow. He looks like he could have been a king in some previous century, in some prosperous kingdom where the crops were booming and everyone was well-fed. He eats in a way that took Finn a long time to learn for himself, unbothered by the presence of strangers and indiscriminate of what he’s eating, even if it’s not quote-unquote healthy. Finn admires it so much it burns a little, how comfortable and self-assured he seems.

Rey spots a cotton candy venue and runs off with promises to buy enough for everyone, and Finn scoots a little closer to Poe on the blanket. “Hey,” he says. “Can I ask you something kind of personal?”

“Yeah, man,” says Poe with an easy grin. “What’s up?”

“I just — I was just kind of —” He exhales harshly. “Do you like being that big? Like, just because there’s some stuff here that’s not exactly fat-friendly, but you’re so — it’s like you don’t care. And I guess I’m just curious how you feel about it.”

“I mean, it’s not always convenient,” says Poe, leaning back on his hands, “but neither is being a selkie, and they kind of go hand in hand, and I wouldn’t change either of them. Fat’s important for us, especially as the water gets colder, and it helps us move more easily. Not always true on land, but I’d rather be this big and have access to both than be thinner and be bound to land.” He shrugs.  “And, you know, I like it. It’s the way my body is supposed to look, and it’s a part of me, I guess. Why?”

It’s Finn’s turn to shrug. “It just took me a long time to, you know, say fuck it and figure out to just be fat in public without caring about what people thought. To decide that my body wasn’t for their consumption. And I think it’s really cool that you just do you and, you know, eat what you want and also that you just said fuck it and went to live in the ocean.” He lets out a breath. “I just think you’re really cool.”

Poe’s eyes are affectionate, but not pitying. “Thanks, man. You’re cool, too. And for what it’s worth, you have a great body. And a great smile. Anybody would be lucky to look at you and know you.”

Finn warms under his gaze. “Thanks.”

Poe takes his hand from where it’s resting on the blanket and gives it a little squeeze. “You’re welcome. And you know how I know?”

“How?”

“Because I feel lucky to know you,” says Poe. “Both of you. I haven’t had much human interaction since I went back to the ocean, but you guys saw me, and you didn’t run away screaming. You brought me corn dogs, and you just folded me into your circle.” He grins. “And you’re nice to look at, too.”

It doesn’t bother Finn that Poe says both of you, because Rey has made it clear from the start that Finn is Her People, and in the several months that they’ve known each other, they’ve become a unit. They’ve been in this thing together since that first day on the boardwalk. He can’t imagine their little group without all three of them.

“I don’t want to talk about this too much without Rey,” says Finn cautiously, “but we’ve kind of … talked …. about being, like, a full circle. The three of us. If you’re into that. So we can go back to it when she comes back, but just — so you know.”

If possible, Poe’s grin gets even wider. “I would love that,” he says. “But yeah, let’s talk about it together.”

Rey comes back with two clouds of cotton candy, each bigger than her head, and sits as the third point on their triangle. “What’d I miss?” she asks around a mouthful, and Finn nudges her bony knee with one foot.

“I thought we could talk to Poe about that thing we discussed.”

Rey tears off a chunk of cotton candy and rolls it into a neat little ball, then hands it to Poe. “Trying to visit every mini-golf course in California?”

“No — well, maybe. If he wants to.” Finn glances at Poe, who shrugs as if to say, I’m in. “I meant the other thing. About the three of us.”

“Oh,” says Rey. She balls up another hunk of cotton candy and passes it to Finn. “Yeah. Poe, we like you and we both kind of want to date you. If you’d also be into that.”

“Oh, my god,” says Finn, staring at her. “I was gearing up for this whole elaborate thing and you did it in one sentence.”

Rey shrugs, tearing off a piece of cotton candy with her teeth. “We know we like him. We hope he likes us. We’re not complicated now, so why should talking about it be more complicated?”

Finn shakes his head. “Do you not experience anxiety?”

“Only in situations that call for it,” says Rey, sticking out her tongue with a glob of half-melted blue sugar still on it. “And this doesn’t.”

Poe is glancing between them like a tennis match, a fond smile on his face. “Can I chime in here?” he asks, 

“Yes!” says Finn, swiping another handful of cotton candy. “Please!”

“I’m down,” says Poe, resting one hand on the mountain of his belly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone, so I definitely want to go slow, but I like you guys. I want to spend more time with you.”

“Slow is great,” says Finn, squeezing Poe’s other hand. “Slow is perfect.”

Rey nods, scooting in until she can nestle between them. She smells like sun and Poe smells like salt, and Finn’s heart stretches as big as the beach to hold them both. 

Poe’s gait is even slower after eating, rolling and languid like the tide coming in. His t-shirt rides up a little, exposing an inch or two of soft, dimpled light brown skin, and those couple inches wobble so much that it makes Finn’s mouth water all over again. As he watches, Poe burps into his fist and grins at him. 

“Oh, you like that?” he asks, smoothing a hand down the lush bulk of his belly, and Finn can only nod.

“Well, there’s more where that came from,” says Poe. “I haven’t eaten this much fried food in years, and I’m not done yet.”

“What do you want next?” asks Rey from his other side. “Funnel cake? Elephant ears? Fried Oreos?”

“A break, first, if you want me to keep being able to walk around after that lunch,” says Poe with a crooked smile. “Finn, you know how to feed a guy.”

Finn blushes. “I, uh. I do my best.”

Rey finds an arm-wrestling booth, and while she defends her honor, Poe and Finn gravitate to the ball toss next door. “Wanna try?” Finn asks, hefting one of the mini basketballs. “I played in high school. All those skinny guys hated to see me coming.”

“Oh, I bet,” says Poe, snaking a heavy arm around Finn’s waist. “Go ahead, show off for me.”

So Finn does. He hams it up, does some elaborate windups before taking his shots, and gets juuuust enough points to win some little plushie shaped like an off-brand Pokemon. Poe ducks between booths, cheering each of them on. 

“Okay,” he says, when they’ve fallen back in together and stuffed their winnings into Rey’s backpack. “Now I could go for a funnel cake.”

One funnel cake turns into several, and Rey feeds him little pieces even as he leans back to catch his breath. “Oh, man,” he sighs, and Rey pauses to rub his belly. “I’m stuffed. This is the best I’ve eaten since going back to the ocean.”

“Do you think you have one more ride in you?” asks Rey.

Poe burps into his fist. “Uh, that depends on the ride.”

Rey points to the Ferris wheel at the end of the boardwalk. “Nothing fast. I just like seeing everything from up high.”

“Yeah,” says Poe, burping again and rocking forward on the bench. “Help me up and we can go.”

They haul him up, and Finn shyly takes Poe’s hand in his own as they walk. Poe grins, and then all three of them are linked, hand in hand in hand. 

There’s not too much of a line for the Ferris wheel, which is great because Poe can’t stand for that long after using his legs all day and eating more heavy food than he has in years.

“Can all three of us fit in one car?” Finn asks, and the operator eyes Poe.

“You’re welcome to try. As long as I can get the safety bar in place.”

It’s a tight fit with Poe and Finn, but Rey’s tiny so she squeezes in at the very end, and Poe holds up enough of his gut that the safety bar clicks into place. He lets it cascade back down over the bar, jiggling as it goes. His hip and belly flab spills into Rey and Finn’s laps, and Rey pets it like it’s a small animal. Finn laces his hand through Poe’s again and reaches across the billow of Poe’s middle for Rey’s.

“Hey,” he says as they rise over the boardwalk, over the beach. “I’ve been wanting to ask you all day. Do you guys want to come over for dinner? Poe, you can take a water break if you need to. I know it’s been a long day.”

“Yes!” says Rey. 

“Yeah, but one question,” says Poe with a half-smile. “Am I gonna fit in your bathtub?”

Finn grins. “Hey, now. My building also has an Olympic-size pool. You’ll be just fine.”

[of-mutts-and-men]

Hi! Fellow trans guy here! Your photos and body look incredible! If you don't mind my asking, i was wondering what kind of top surgery you had? Your scars looked like they healed up beautifully and your build came out super natural overall. If this is invasive or discomfitting, please feel free to ignore!!! Much love xoxo

Thank you!

It’s been a while so I may have forgotten some things but I had double incision with a nipple graft and the surgeon I went to was specialized in like masculinizing top surgery so I recommend if you’re looking, to tell them (if you want that) to masculinize your chest/body because a lot of places I saw will basically just cut under wherever your nipples naturally sit and not like figure out what position would make them look more realistic and all that. I don’t know if it’s standard with top surgery but also getting a little lipo on the sides like near the armpit helps with the shape too.

But I also remember that for nipple grafts there’s a very very high chance of them 1) being completely flat which i didn’t really care about and 2) them having no feeling. But my doctor said I got really lucky that I could still feel them but they are also permanently sticking out like they’re hard lol. And I don’t know if its just me being a wuss but I feel like i could rip the bud right off if i tried they are so delicate. like i tried nipple clamps once and afterwards they sat like completely smushed in like a straight line for half n hour 😭. It’s kinda weird. Also they get kinda crusty looking if you go swimming and I find it a little embarrassing in public. I didn’t even know that nipple grafts were a thing till after my surgery lol (i have autism i did not pay attention i was staring at the doctors forehead)

[sixthwater]

Hello! Due to a change in my life I've become quite busy, but I'll try and get some pacs out every once in a while. Also working on a few projects (with and without people), so look out for that! I've wanted to do this one for some weeks now, but it's just short messages that your guides or angels wanted to deliver to you, pretty straight-forward haha.

(Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: Trickster's Journey, Tarot Familiars, Arcana of Astrology, featuring Sea Melodies & Language of Flowers

Disclaimer | Pinned | Tip Jar | Paid Readings

Pile One

Cards: X of Cups, The Lovers, Trickster Rx, II of Wands, IV of Swords, Ace of Wands, Ascendant, Pallas Athena

I can’t ignore the song that popped up. It reminded me of fan-art that a friend made decades ago for hxh; it was for the chimera ant arc from Killua’s ‘perspective’ and how, despite how much pain each side was going through, he would stay by his side as long as he could.

This pull is hinting at you being in a position of looking at your life and the possibilities ahead of you, but not authentically. Resembles someone quadruple checking their path or getting someone to tell them what to do with their life. The message here is not ‘just go out and live your life’ — while that is inherently true, it’s more along the lines to have a breather and take it day by day. They want you to find yourself, and through finding yourself you will find your path. I don’t know why I keep wanting to bring in The Magician, but this pile has undercurrents of its energy as well. It’s not so much manifestation, but it’s not giving up on your dreams or your desires — they’re on pause until you can figure yourself out. I wanted to cry as soon as Shake It Out started playing, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a lot of pent up frustration here. There is a rebirth coming for you guys, the timeline is going to be different for all of you. However you cant be born anew if you aren’t being authentic. Some advice/help might come from friends and family, but it’s all about exploring externally and internally. You might have been searching for this for quite some time...and honestly no amount of astrology or pick a cards will give you a definite answer, but spending time with yourself and figuring out what brings you joy will give you the direction that you need. You might be annoyed hearing this, but don’t rush the process and enjoy the ride, Sure Fire Winners is your end result after this frustrating trip.

Songs: Figure 8 – Ellie Goulding, Twin Machines – DBMK, What We Life For – American Authors, Shake It Out – Florence + The Machine

Pile Two

Cards: Death, VII of Wands, Wheel, III of Coins, Queen of Cups, VII of Wands, Eros, Pallas Athena, Third House

Interesting set of cards. I’m also having difficult describing your energy. You’re not being stubborn or combative, but you feel like people aren’t giving you the time of day or listening to you, which causes you to be stubborn or a solitary individual which makes people believe you’re not co-operative — is the best way I can describe it. A little of it feels reminiscent of being a push-over, but that’s sprinkled in?

Regardless, good news is on the way, but you have to meet it halfway. This is a learning experience for you, whatever it might be (work or higher learning). It’s definitely one of those lessons that will keep repeating until you learn it, so pay attention when it pops up. You need to sort what topics or issues you legitimately care about and refuse to budge on, and what can be sacrificed. This is a key element when working with others, because it’s a quality that is often balanced when dealing with others. People seek you out because you bring something to the table for them, but if you’re going to be stubborn or not shine to the point that they can simply find anyone, then you lose out. That’s where your double Seven of Wands comes in. This could manifest in people either questioning why they’re working with you, commissioning you, or you not budging for what you want to keep within a project. This could also be you proving some people wrong? Either way, it’s a message to stand your ground and not be overwhelmed by those trying to knock you down. There’s also a high chance that there will be a nurturing mentor to help you through this or they will give you some advice that you’ll carry with you long after this. With the owl staring at me on the Queen of Cups I’m moved to think this’ll be a figure that comes in. I think they’ll probably remind you of third house themes which is to balance listening as much as you’re talking. Sometimes what you’re so frustrated by or trying to figure out will be answered before you even have to ask it. Or maybe someone has a good idea that you haven’t thought of and you should give it a shot before brushing it off. The main message here is collaboration and working with people, knowing when to stand up for things and to just let things go, and becoming a new person after this. The skeleton in Death is holding an old skull and even on the Seven of Wands it’s a little chick that just hatched; there’s a lot of beginnings after this uncomfortable period but you will learn a lot about yourself and possibly learn a lot of new skills! (From all the songs, maybe this is your first job?)

Songs: Something Good Can Work – Two Door Cinema Club, It’s Time – Imagine Dragons

Pile Three

Cards: X of Swords, Page of Swords Rx, X of Wheel Rx, Empress Rx, Queen of Wands Rx, VII of Wands Rx, The Sun Rx, Mars, Waning Gibbous Moon, Eighth House

It’s pretty obvious where you are right now, so I’m not going to get into it — I don’t believe you want me rehashing it either. You are being urged to rebuild your confidence little by little and push for what you want in your situation. I think a good portion of this though is sharing how you feel. Being comfortable with expressing your emotions or your darker issues with others instead of trying to hold onto all of this. It doesn’t feel like a shadow trait, more like bad news/a situation, but you need to lean on someone to help you. I’ve been re-watching Regular Show and this is similar to the episode where Skips was ignoring his stress killing him and everyone had to force him to deal with it and let them help. Usually I see The Sun reversed as shining too bright to the point of exhaustion or just being a little gloomy but it’s resembling The Star reversed, which worries me. You just need to take it slow and work on yourself, but absolutely you need to rely on others and don’t feel like you’re too much or you’re not meeting standards that society or you set for yourself. We all need breaks or we all get tired, it’s impossible to be in top shape all the time, so give yourself some time to get back up there. Yes, sitting in your sadness is not helpful, but you need to be able to go through it’s motions so you know what you’re purging in the first place. I’m going to pull some more clear advice/upbeat cards for you guys:

Reflect, Optimism, Azalea, Jonquil

Reflect: Peer into the endless ocean and see what peers back  Optimism: After each rainstorm, there will be clear skies  Azalea, Temperance: Find balance and be centered  Jonquil, Power: Take hold of what you know is yours

Songs: Fall to Pieces – Avril Lavigne, Love Die Young – Eric Nam, Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell, Grip! – Every Little Thing

Pile Four

Cards: VI of Wands, Strength Rx, IV of Wands, VII of Cups Rx, King of Pentacles, The Hierophant, Solar Eclipse, Chiron, Leo

Experiencing impostor syndrome right now, or not wanting the spotlight on you despite...accomplishing something worth celebrating honestly. I’m weirdly taking strength quite literally, like feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders and being crushed by it. The imagery looks as such and its between two celebratory cards — or ones that can show being celebrated or being in high regards in immediate surroundings. I know you want to, but don’t run back to a ‘shell’ or what’s safe. Try and make new safe spaces or make a routine to soothe yourself, because you should embrace your wins and take pride in what you did. I don’t know what you guys did, but more opportunities are coming your way, so embrace the new and change. It might keep coming or it might just be some fun new experiences for this time in your life. Make sure to tread carefully and whatever you say yes to; you want to say yes to. Don’t just agree to whatever. There are signs of looking for a community or mentor to lean on or stick by, and it’s encouraged as well. There’s a mix of taking on this new energy because it’ll be good for you or your future (experiences or just in general), and grounding yourself because you’re in a flight reflex right now. This might be due to a past scar, because the wolves look as if they’re protecting something but ready to hurt me, and I love wolves as well as this card. Either way, you should be celebrating with everyone else the milestone you accomplished, being mindful of your next steps, being open to change, and I’m wishing you the best.

Songs: When the Levee Breaks – A Perfect Circle, Raging (ft. Kodaline) – Kygo, Have Faith In Me – A Day To Remember

[pure-ablution]

Another piece of advice for girls working their way up?

Make sure that you know when you’re closing a door.

This is a something my sister said to me when I left for England. I didn’t really understand it, at the time; I thought that it meant something along the lines of make the most of your time at uni, don’t burn any bridges, etc. I only understood what she meant when she repeated it in variation to me, a little while later, when the protests back home were growing larger and Ukraine looked to be on the brink of war, and I phoned her in tears.

“If you do that, Kitty, you’ll be closing a door.”

The that in question was dating someone I didn’t like, because he’d promised to help me stay at university if my scholarships were withdrawn. The proposal was the closest I ever came to transactional dating, and it was comparatively pretty vanilla, but both Zoya and I knew classmates who had started out with something equally mild, and ultimately gone into sugaring or escorting or even sold themselves off as mail-order brides. Zoya told me very firmly that I could do as I wished, and I’d probably be just fine, but irrespective of all that, I’d still be closing a door that couldn’t be opened again.

There are some decisions in life which close doors, or leave them open. You have to take these decisions, and you can’t always opt to keep all the doors open; sometimes, a door has to be closed. Not all door-closing decisions are bad ones, or even decisions which matter at all, in the long run—for example, the way my degree is structured means that taking Logic in 1st year is a prerequisite to take a module in Philosophy of Mind in 3rd year. I took Logic, because I thought that I might want to take Philosophy of Mind, but as it turned out, I never ended up taking it; I took Aesthetics instead. If I’d have closed that door by not opting to take Logic, it would have been no skin off my nose.

Many women, especially coming from abroad or less than ideal circumstances, go into some form of the sex trade, even if it’s just temporary, even if it’s just through a webcam, even if it’s just selling your panties on eBay. I’m not going to condemn that—I was once in a position where I was considering it, too, despite its being against my morals. Morals shift pretty quickly in times of desperation. However, I know now that if I’d taken the guy up on his offer, rather than doubling down on doing odd jobs, I wouldn’t be in the position I’m in now.

I’ve never met a man who genuinely respects women in the sex trade, not once, not even if he’s the one paying. Wealthy men are typically even more conservative and religious, and even less likely to give the time of day to someone in those circumstances—and if they have any kind of public image at stake or pressure from family, then you’re screwed. Men are hypocrites and you can lament that fact all you like, but the bottom line is that if you cross into any kind of transaction with your bodily presence as the product, then you’ll lose a degree of respect from them. You’ll still have vanilla dating options, sure, but only with men who don’t fully respect you, and don’t respect themselves, either. You can hide it from them, you can lie and bury all the evidence, and maybe it will work, or maybe it will surface and slap you in the face when you least expect it. Reputations linger.

All I’m saying is that you need to be aware of precisely which doors you’re closing, and when. I’m not only talking about sugaring, I’m talking about every decision in life, but I used the example because I think it needs to be brought home for some girls out there; it’s not a game, it’s real life, and it can and will follow you. Some women have goals that don’t involve the doors they’re closing, and that’s perfectly fine, but success comes from awareness of what you, personally, can afford to close—which lectures you can afford to skip, which parties you can afford to flake on, which bridges you can afford to burn. You need to think hard about whether you can afford the risk before you take the plunge.

[astorytotellyourfriends]

98 😈

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“If we weren’t in public right now I’d have my head between your legs.” An involuntary noise gets caught in Chrissy’s throat as Eddie pulls away from her side, not even looking at her as she grips the edge of the bar to ensure she doesn’t collapse on the spot. The bartender appears with her drink a moment later and does a double-take when he looks at her, and Chrissy’s sure her face turns even more red from his response. “Can I get you anything else?” he asks, probably expecting Chrissy to cry for help or something. “Nope!” she says as politely as possible, leaving a tip before she picks up her drink and spins on her heel with the intent to find her boyfriend and maim him. Or, at the very least, pinch him really hard. It’s one thing for him to say stuff like that when they’re alone, but at a wedding reception? Someone could’ve heard him! Nancy’s mom was only a few feet away! Chrissy knows that Eddie likes pushing her boundaries - and to be fair, she likes it too - but this was too far. She finds him chatting with Will and Jonathan, and Chrissy hopes that the flush in her cheeks has at least faded a little by the time she cozies up to Eddie’s side. “Shouldn’t you be doting on your beautiful bride?” she teases Jonathan as she slips her arm through Eddie’s, paying him no attention otherwise. “Robin stole her away already,” Jonathan says, gesturing towards the dance floor in the center of the room. Chrissy turns and finds both Nancy and Robin laughing uproariously as they dance, and when she looks back at Jonathan he’s practically got stars in his eyes. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you cut in,” Chrissy says, smiling sweetly as she feels Eddie’s eyes fix upon her. “Yeah,” Will says as he starts to push his brother along, “it’s almost time for the cake anyway, and you know Erica’s gonna be pissed if you guys don’t keep to the schedule.” “Okay, okay!” Jonathan says with a laugh as Will continues manhandling him until they’ve both joined the throng of dancers, leaving Chrissy and Eddie on the sidelines. Eddie very politely waits to cry out in pain until after they’re alone, while Chrissy started pinching his arm as soon as Jonathan and Will began to leave. “What was that—” “Oh, you know exactly what that was for!” Eddie grins even as he rubs at the spot where she pinched him. “Can I ask you something?” Chrissy narrows her eyes. “If it’s what are you wearing under that dress, Eddie Munson, I swear—” “Tempting,” he interrupts, tapping his finger against his chin, “but no.” “What’s the question?” she asks as she crosses her arms, tucking her drink in the crook of her arm as she stares Eddie down. “I just wanna know if you’re mad about what I said because someone else could’ve heard,” he says as he pulls her close, “or because you want what you can’t have.” Chrissy swallows down the whine that threatens to escape, wishing more than anything that she could look away from Eddie right now. She could, if she really wanted to, but instead she holds his gaze and his smile just grows even bigger. “That’s what I thought,” he murmurs. “I hate you.” Eddie barks out a laugh as he turns her around, wrapping himself around her as she huffs angrily. “Would you still hate me if I told you I might’ve found us a spot we could go?” Chrissy stiffens a little in his arms, clutching her drink even tighter. “Only if you think you can stay quiet,” he whispers, nuzzling his nose against the shell of her ear. “Don’t wanna embarrass the newlyweds, do we?” “Eddie…” Chrissy whispers with a trembling breath. “Easy, sweetheart.” He presses a kiss to her cheek and she whimpers as she brings her glass up to her lips for a long drink. “Take your time, we’ve got all night.” Chrissy gasps a little after she swallows, turning her face towards his. “Promise?” Eddie chuckles and pecks her lips. “Promise.”

random writing prompts

[eteru-roses]

Incorrect quotes!!

idea courtesy of @nrcbookclub

ocs featured: @castaway-achlys @rubysandviper @inotonline @the-possum-of-rsa

Incorrect quotes

1.Rida: What are you drinking? 

Atamai: Vodka. 

Rida: Straight? 

Atamai: No, gay. Why?

❀

2. Rida: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it. 

Rida: And I started thinking. 

Rida: Like, it was just trying to get food. 

Rida: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck? 

Atamai: Are you ok?

❀

3.Castor: The stars are so beautiful... 

Atamai : They're just giant balls of gas. 

Castor: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- 

Atamai : And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. 

Castor: Oh...

❀

4.Castor: I fell— 

Atamai : From heaven? 

Castor: No, I literally fell— 

Atamai : In love with me the moment you saw me? 

Castor: MY ARM IS BROKEN! 

Atamai : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

❀

5.Atamai : I’d kill someone if you asked me to. 

Castor: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

❀

6.Atamai : I want to kiss you. 

Castor, not paying attention: What? 

Atamai : I said if you die, I wont miss you.

❀

7.Castor: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— 

Atamai : Thats because your too short to do so. 

Castor: ...Listen here you fucking—

❀

8.Castor: You use humor to deflect your trauma. 

Atamai : Awww, thanks- 

Castor: That’s not a good thing. 

Atamai : All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

❀

9'.Atamai , holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was your age… fine dining. 

Rida : Fix yourself.

❀

10.Atamai : Do crabs think people walk sideways? 

Rida : ...Atamai , what the hell.

❀

11.Rida : I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch". 

Atamai : I see you're passing on your name.

❀

12.Rida: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture." 

Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

❀

13.Atamai : Wow, they really hate us. 

Castor: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. 

Atamai : But we’re not gay, Castor. 

Castor: 

Atamai : 

Castor: We’re not?

❀

14.Rida: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry. 

Atamai :  Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. 

Rida: You have to teach Ck how to drive. 

Atamai : ...put the band-aid back on.

❀

15.Ck: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. 

Atamai : What's the surprise? 

Rida: Blood poisoning.

❀

16.Store Worker: Would a “Atamai ” please come to the front desk? 

Atamai , arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? 

Store Worker, pointing to Rida and Ck: I believe they belong to you? 

Rida and Ck, simultaneously: We got lost. 

Atamai : I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

❀

17.castor walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: atamai , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. 

atamai , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

❀

18.Jamil: I want to be like a caterpillar. 

Chiyo: Explain. 

Jamil: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. 

C.K.: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? 

Jamil: 

Jamil: That's just another highlight!

❀

19.C.K.: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help. 

Atamai : I went to the park today. 

C.K.: There you go! I hope you got something from that. 

Atamai : *opening their coat* This duck.

❀

20.Jamil: The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem.

❀

21.Jamil: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Chiyo meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

❀

22.Jamil: Why is there blood everywhere? 

Rida: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. 

Jamil: You stabbed someone?! 

Rida: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

❀

23.Rida: Want to hear a hard riddle? 

C.K.: Sure. 

Rida: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll? 

C.K.: ...down? 

Rida: N- 

Jamil: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then. 

Rida: 

Rida: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...

❀

24.Chiyo: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you? 

Jamil: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. 

Jamil: Would you like me to tutor you? 

Rida: That was smooth.

❀

25.Chiyo: Hey, Rida? 

Rida, playing a video game with the squad: What? 

Chiyo: Can I share something with you from earlier today? 

Rida: Wh- what is it, Chiyo? 

Chiyo: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. 

Rida: Mhm. 

Chiyo: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend? 

Rida: Yeah? 

Chiyo: Your response. 

Rida: *trying not to crack up* 

Chiyo: At 9:30 in the morning. 

Chiyo: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit" 

Rida: *laughing* 

Chiyo: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. 

Rida: You just made me dieeee... 

Chiyo: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." 

Chiyo: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. 

Chiyo: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man" 

Rida: *wheezing with laughter* 

Chiyo: I respond "Rida, you're scaring me." An hour passes- 

Chiyo: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg" 

Chiyo: "im very tired" 

Rida: *struggling to breathe* 

Chiyo: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Rida, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-" 

Chiyo: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, 

Chiyo: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook" 

Chiyo: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, 

Rida: *falling over with laughter* 

Chiyo: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

❀

26.Atamai : Time sensitive question how flirt boy. 

Jamil: Throw rocks at he. 

Rida: Hot Dogs. 

Chiyo: Kill him. 

Atamai : Thanks guys.

(^when he was trying to confess to castor)

❀

27.Atamai : When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think. 

Jamil: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen. 

Atamai : Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese? 

Chiyo: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

❀

Have fun giggling. i numbered them so you can talk about which are the funniest :3

rida is very chaotic and in fact has criminal records(arson)