#they’re like 12/13 in this drawing I think

[ashartstuff]

tweek and kenny bonding over this goofy predicament will always be my favorite thing

[imthursdaysyme]

candace flynn the biggest mamas girl on planet earth

[moonstruckme]

summary: when James moves into your apartment, you need a bit of an adjustment period

part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13

roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 1k words

You go downstairs the way a meerkat pokes its head out of its burrow. Cautious, watchful. When you spot James standing over a sizzling pan in the kitchen, it’s a bit of effort not to sigh, but you go anyway, hunger temporarily taking priority over solitude. It’s just going to have to be another quick meal.

“Hey.” James looks up from a recipe he’s reading on his phone, grinning at you. 

You press your lips together in a smile of response. The girl who’d occupied James’ room before him wouldn’t have bothered to acknowledge you, and frankly, you’d liked her for that. You’d had a mutually ambivalent relationship; you’d both paid your rent, ignored the other’s food in the fridge, and gone about your days as if you each had the apartment to yourself. She had to move out because the maintenance crew tattled on her for having a pet, and though James only moved in a week ago, he’s invited you to hang out with his friends every time they’ve come over. Which is often. (He’s at least considerate enough to always ask first, and you always say yes. Partially because they don’t make huge messes and partially because you don’t know how to reply to a yes/no question any other way.) 

You go to the fridge, tearing the aluminum foil off a half-empty can of beans and shaking it into a bowl. You put it in the microwave. James reaches to turn down the stove, and, like a frightened animal, you flinch away from him. He doesn’t seem to notice, only retreating to the opposite counter to give you more room. 

“How’s your day going?” he asks, leaning back on his forearms. 

“Not bad,” you say. Another thing about James is that in addition to his relentless geniality, he’s ferociously attractive. It takes all of your willpower not to let your eyes dip from his face to where his short sleeves conform to his biceps when he leans that way, but your face heats regardless. “Yours?” 

“Pretty good, actually.” He smiles easily. “It’s gorgeous out, have you felt the weather?” 

You shake your head. “I haven’t been out yet.” 

James nods like he knows this already, humming noncommittally. You think you spy a bit of judgment in his look, but you can’t be sure. “So,” he says, “I have something to ask you.” 

You tense. “Okay…” 

“I know you value your privacy, and I totally respect that, but I feel like as your roommate it’s my responsibility to at least ask.” 

You feel your eyes narrowing as you nod for him to continue. 

James schools his face into seriousness, a frown on his lips that looks like it doesn’t belong. “Do you not eat?” 

You laugh, relieved and bemused. “Of course I eat.”

The smile he gives you is strained, clearly for your benefit rather than his. “You sure about that? Because this morning I just saw you have one—one—piece of toast for breakfast, and then for lunch you had…what?” 

You shy, more because of his notice than anything else. The microwave beeps and you use it as an excuse to turn around. “Some cheese and crackers.” 

When you pivot with the steaming bowl, James is looking at you incredulously.

“They’re really filling!” 

“That’s a snack, love, not a meal. Both of those are snacks. Did you have anything else?” 

You hold up the bowl in your hand. “I’m about to have some beans.” 

His laugh is monosyllabic. Appalled. “You’re not serious.” 

You roll your eyes at him even as your face heats. “Listen, it’s not my most nutritious day, but I’ve been in a rush, and…” You were going to say more, but decide against it. “Anyway, there’s protein in the beans, so.” 

James isn’t having it. “And what?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Something.” He raises his eyebrows at you. “C’mon, spill, or I’m going to call your mum and tell her about your big day of—“ He draws quotes in the air, full lips curving he does “—beans and crackers.” 

“And toast,” you joke. James’ smile is small and short-lived. Does he really have your mum’s phone number? He can’t possibly. 

You sigh. “Okay, it’s nothing to do with you, but I…I’m a bit weird about being in the kitchen at the same time.” James’ thick eyebrows meet in the middle, and your shoulders hunch instinctively but you force yourself to finish explaining. “I just want to grab whatever is quickest and go before I make things awkward, or something. But I know it’s stupid.” You shake your head. You could burn the apartment to cinders with the heat from your face. “I don’t own the kitchen. You have every right to be here, and I’ll get used to it eventually. It’s just that you’re new to me right now.” 

James' expression clears. “Oh, you’re shy.” 

You must look even more embarrassed at that, because he hurries to say, “That’s alright, it’s good to know how you feel about things. And now I don’t have to call your mum.” He grins, and it widens when you make a tiny effort to reciprocate. “I don’t mind stepping out of the kitchen so you can cook every now and then.”

“You really don’t have to.” 

“It’s no trouble.” He waves you off. “Honestly, it’s too small for both of us to comfortably use at the same time anyway. Careful by the way, that pan’s hot.” 

You glance behind you, and you’ve backed yourself nearly into the stove. You move away, squeaking out a thanks. 

James’ smile softens. “I do hope you're right about getting used to me eventually, though.” He gives you a kind look, and you have no idea how he can maintain eye contact with that much sincerity in his big brown eyes. You envy the skill. “I’d like to get to be friends, but we’ve got time for that.” 

You’ve no clue how to respond, some deer-in-the-headlights instinct taking ahold of you, but James doesn’t seem to be expecting one. He reaches out to squeeze your shoulder, taking back his place at the stove. You take that as your cue to go.

[soon-palestine]

Israel, the world’s most innocent country, fell victim to a horrific attack from Iran with zero reported casualties on the same day Israel killed dozens of civilians in Gaza.

Israel had been minding its own business, quietly bombing hospitals, schools, universities, mosques, and an embassy, when the Iranian regime launched their outrageous attack for no apparent reason. Thankfully, the US and UK scrambled jets to defend Israeli airspace because it’s wrong to bomb countries in the Middle East, unless your name is Israel, in which case you can do all the bombing you want.

Every British and American ship in the region is now in grave danger and the risk of terror attacks on our soil has surely increased, but you will be relieved to know our countries have not benefitted in any way from our intervention. Personally, I can’t think of a better way for Israel to spend our tax money.

Our leaders have condemned Iran in the strongest possible terms, which is confusing because I thought we were supposed to remain ambiguous and say we’re investigating the matter when such an attack occurs. Perhaps this is one of those rules that only applies to Israel though.

When informed of the attack, a calm and rational Suella Braverman screamed: “WAR! I WANT WAR!” and when she’d stopped hyperventilating, she added: “This must be the end of western backsliding on Israel,” because she thinks we have not been sufficiently supportive of their genocide. Anyone who is not on the same side of the argument as Suella Braverman must ask serious questions about themselves.

Iran’s unprovoked attack involved giving Israel adequate warning and launching 30-year-old missiles, 99% of which were intercepted, and then saying the matter is closed unless Israel escalates further. The fact Iran would consider retaliating to further escalation from Israel shows just extreme these lunatics are.

Among Iran’s targets was the Israeli air base from which the missiles that struck its embassy were launched, killing 13 on April 1. As of yet, we have no indication as to why Iran carried out the attack, but we’re going to tell you it’s because they want to start World War III. Psychos.

Conspiracy theorists have suggested it’s actually Benjamin Netanyahu who wants escalation, but it’s unclear why the man who faces political oblivion, and possibly jail, would be incentivised to draw his allies into the fight and cause everyone to forget his many war crimes.

Israel, the country that definitely does not want war, has vowed an “unprecedented” response against Iran which will probably kill many more than zero people. If Iran expresses disapproval at Israel’s next mass murder, it’s because they’re trying to destabilise the region. At this point, we’ll have no choice but to help Israel do to Iran what we’ve spent six months helping them do to Gaza - launch precision strikes that destroy 70% of the buildings in the country and leave survivors living in tents.

Worryingly, we’ve just discovered at the most convenient moment that Iran has enough uranium to build 12 nuclear bombs. If it were true that Iran had so much weapon-grade uranium, it would be incredibly stupid to attack them, but we’re going to insist we must attack them because we’re weapon-grade idiots - and we think you are too.

Please just switch your brain off and accept what you’re being told, you simpletons! What matters is rich people can afford nuclear bunkers if this all goes horribly wrong. In the meantime, you can look forward to lots of exciting stories in the media about bringing back conscription and describing how you are likely to die in humanity's final war. Are you looking forward to radiation sickness and nuclear winter? Because they sound like brilliant fun! x

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this outstanding piece of journalism as much as I did, you can support my work here:

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - 2024 is Ending, Not With A Bang But With A Whimper

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky AKA How to Train Your Seme (Sun iQIYI) ep 6 of 12 - Oh they are so fucking cute. Lee maybe the best brother wingman ever in BL. He is so entirely on Fah’s side. And we get sweet soft first kisses with permission asked. Yeah!

Stupid phone call!

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Not gonna lie, hard call over whether this should take the top spot this week. I adore this show.

This lead pair is absolutely stunning. I love that the story is about external drama with others, not manufactured drama or miscommunication between the leads. In fact, the romance that we see developing is one characterized by careful attention, gentleness, and patience. They enjoy each other‘s company in a restful calming way. We are watching them become each other’s safe space. Neither of them realizing how much they needed that from the world. I hope the conflict stays external and they get to evolve as a couple while narrative tension stays external.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 15 end - i’m quite pleased that they kept most of the stuff in the forest. And I actually like that they swapped it around so that this was the end of the series. I think it makes for a better more solid ending. I'm disappointed that 10 years on and PhunNoh still don't get to have a decent kiss. Since I think the new pair would’ve done fine with it. In the end I think neither Love Sick really come out on top. They’re both represent their time although this new one was oddly nostalgic.

I chronicaled my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here including ep-by-ep recaps and ratings, as well as a summary judgement over all. Spoiler...... all that work and it was, ultimately, a draw. I guess 10 years a not all THAT much has changed in Thail BL. Therefore this Love Sick gets the same as the original, 7/10 

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - I love the tension and the slow rollout of the secret being revealed. It’s really beautifully done. Joong is knocking his role out of the park, I have to say. He’s kind of stealing this show for me. Also I loved the foreshadowing of drawing the make up tears on his face and then, of course, us knowing that there will be tears from Fidel in this episode once he knows The Truth. Very nice, boyos.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 13 of 16 - I think i love Arthirt best in the world. love seeing someone more an arse than Johan. To Johan. Also, by all means take Ngern's shirt off. We all being all kinds of respectful on this side of the screen. Pinky promise.

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - Adorable date and sweet kisses. But NGL this episode was a bit boring for me.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 9 of 24 - I think that I like ForceBook best when they are just being casual long-term boyfriends together. You know, chwill chwill sabai sabai. I see Santa is back in his "punk ass little brother" role. Suits him well enough. But I have to say that Junior is absolutely stealing this show. He’s truly stellar. Meanwhile, what an adorable hug and meet cute. I enjoyed the ending of this episode. I admit, I’m not sold on the new pair, but I’m more willing to give them a chance now then I was when this was first announced.

Secret Love 60-81 end - what a very odd show. But I forgive a lot for pining semes and the stepbrother trope. 7/10

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 8 of 11 - oh its so painful. No one does this level of suffering like Japan. Just press that bruise and feel the sticky sweet ache.

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 13 - it is all very important and absolutely adorable but where Sean just kind gestures desperately at the bed and Shao Peng muscles him into it was absolutely fantastic. All the picking up and tossign arroudn and smily fun kissing in the shower. It'll all just GREAT. Also, THAT pregnancy line was epic. 

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 3 of 12 - It's actually quite sweet. Tonally quite odd, and definitely jarring when pitted agains the rest of the end of year offerings, but I think I like it? I don’t know where it’s going. Or what it’s doing. And I don’t entirely trust it. Because of the production house track record. But I am enjoying it. Also, the horny herb drug is back. This is a seriously old trope. Like 1970s old romance trope.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 13 of ? - I'm bored.

It's airing but......

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) finished it's run. I don't know what to do. Reviews are all over the damn place. Do I watch?

Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China YT) movie from HBD Studio. I can't find it. You?

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai ???) - has been picked up to air on WeTV, or something? Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially un-subbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. It is very pulp but intriguing. For now it's to the wayside until someone tells me it landed safely. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them. But sometimes they do good.

The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel. Is it worth tracking down? That is the question.

0.5D (Japan ????) 4 eps - Supposedly a now completed short. "Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior." I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. I can't find and it's got very poor reviews, so Imma stop looking. Info here.

It Ended But?

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I have been told the ending is OK if not great. I just haven't been inspired to watch.

In Case You Missed it

I've started my end of year wraps. Here's the 2024 Trend Report. My best of year wards are still to come. Watch this space.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Final still to come in 2024:

12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai Sun iQIYI) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance develop.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

BEST BOY. (Your Sky)

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[itsillchangethislater]

These took me far longer than they should have, but finally!! Chapter 12 illustrations done! I went the charcoal and graphite route on these. I’m a bit burnt out on inks atm and switching it up helped me get back to it!

I love the scenery and setting of chapter 12-13. The misty lake forest always is so clear in my mind. I’ve always pictured it being in the mountains? Think the Rockies or Vermont. Which they then cross over to reach the desert. BUT, when I attempted to draw mountains…It….Didnt go so well! So we got a lake centric view instead!

The Sun picture was actually a last minute addition to the picture line up I have. I’ve got everything sketched out at this point but realized I had no scenes inside the airstream, which was a big letdown! I love the airstream home they have and really felt like I needed at least ONE shot inside of it, showing a cozier scene.

Also!! Here’s some fun trivia for the 2nd picture with Sun…so while my family and I were traveling, we passed an airstream dealership. I practically tipped the car with my lunge of desperation. Quite probably the only chance I would ever get for really good reference images of the inside of an airstream….! We ended up stopping on our way back and I took about a million pictures. Yeah sure I might have all the other images sketched already and this is the only one that was in the inside of the airstream BUT!!! They’re there if I need them and that’s the important part! Special thanks to my sister and her leg for posing for y/n’s pose for me!

Cryptid sightings of course belongs to the lovely @naffeclipse

[saturnyukaa]

Wakfu Human AU stuff I’ve been cooking up because I’m too lazy to draw it yet

(also yes I’m using their S2 iterations because THAT IS THE BEST SEASON + I hate S3 & 4 with a BURNING PASSION.)

Yugo and Adamaï are adopted fraternal twins, they live above their dad’s restaurant downtown and help him out with cooking. Yugo has a form of dwarfism and Ad is albino because dammit this is my AU I can do what I want. At this time they’re 12 / 13 and attending middle school. Also, they both have ADHD.

Yugo is big on Pok��mon, Minecraft and MLP, and has a hat he literally never takes off in a Neurodivergent Kid kinda way (think Louise Belcher). Additionally, he has a pet budgie he’s crazy about.

Adamaï is a theatre kid (in a “I’m totally not projecting” kinda way) , and likes Transformers and Lego Ninjago. He also collects bracelets. You know what, I’m throwing in that he’s intersex because I can.

Amalia is 14 and a year away from highschool, she’s a big environmental activist and frequently drags her friends to rallies, and she has a decent social media following on Instragram where she essentially just vlogs. Her father is a politician and she comes from money, but she insisted on attending public school because she dislikes her status. She’s also a hardcore K-Pop stan because she WOULD (I’m not familiar with any bands but feel free to suggest any you think she’d like).

Tristepin is 17 and spent a year at military school, where he met a gruff dude a couple years older than him whom he now considers one of his best friends (Rubilax). He lives with his older cousin on his dad’s side, and boxes in his free time with coaching from said cousin (which is Goultard. by the way). Chronic shonen anime watcher…. he would SO eat up DBZ,, also a fan of combat related video games. He got held back a year in highschool and is dating Evangelyne.

Evangelyne is 18, has technically graduated and owns her own apartment. She does a ton of extracurriculars (figure skating, fencing, archery, tennis, creative writing, was on the debate team, etc.), and therefore was able to get into a really good college on a scholarship. She babysat Amalia when they were kids and Amalia’s family let her live with them for a few years when her dad left town. She regularly visits museums and adores the arts. Also a LOTR fan.

Ruel is OLD, an ex-rockstar / athlete / nepo baby and is absolutely LOADED, although now he just owns a pawnshop downtown and takes Yugo and Ad on fishing trips, where he gives them unwarranted advice about buying stock. He and Alibert are married for “tax benefits”, and co-parent the twins (I am a MASSIVE Rubert believer don’t @ me), although he’s still currently paying alimony to his ex-wife. He also owns an exotic, likely illegal pet and has gotten involved in more than one pyramid scheme.

Additionally, they all play DnD together and in this AU, the entirety of Wakfu is their custom DnD campaign (with Adamaï as the DM, ofc :3)

[worlds-tiredest-sub]

🥀Kinky Ask Game🥀

Saw this on @wanders-in-wonderland’s blog and wanted to try it out (I even added a couple questions too). Send any number(s) you want answered to my inbox and I’ll send my responses. If you want answers for any questions that aren’t on the list, I’ll answer so long as they’re within my limits :)

1. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

2. Are piercings sexy?

3. Are tattoos sexy?

4. Are there any sex toys you want to try?

5. Are you more of a dominant, submissive, or switch?

6. Are you rough or romantic?

7. Are you the jealous type?

8. Are you vocal during sex?

9. Do you have a gag reflex?

10. Do you kiss on the first date?

11. Do you like being blindfolded?

12. Do you like dirty talk?

13. Do you like hair-pulling?

14. Do you like it rough or romantic?

15. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

16. Do you like name-calling in bed?

17. Do you like seeing the evidence (bruises, bite marks, hickies)?

18. Do you like teasing or being teased?

19. Do you like to cuddle?

20. Do you like to swallow?

21. Do you like watching or being watched?

22. Do you prefer having foreplay or getting right to it?

23. Do you prefer long hair or short hair?

24. Do you prefer to give or receive when it comes to sex?

25. Do you watch porn?

26. Do you listen to nsft audios?

27. Do you read erotica?

28. Have you ever cried during sex?

29. Have you ever faked an orgasm?

30. Have you ever had a one-night stand?

31. Have you ever had sex in a public place?

32. Have you ever had sex in the shower?

33. Have you ever had to use your safe word?

34. Have you ever spanked or been spanked in the bedroom?

35. Have you/would you have a threesome?

36. Have you/would you participate in an orgy?

37. Have/would you ever have sex outside?

38. How do you feel about public displays of affection?

39. Is it good sex even if you don't cum?

40. Tongue or no tongue while kissing?

41. What are your BDSM test results?

41. What is your most taboo kink?

42. What are your thoughts on friends with benefits?

43. What do you like and dislike about oral sex?

44. What do you think about toys in the bedroom?

45. What do you wear to bed?

46. What do you wear when you want to feel attractive?

47. What is something that never fails to make you horny?

48. What is the first thing that draws your attention when you meet someone new?

49. What is your biggest turn-off?

50. What is your favorite color to wear?

51. What is your favorite kind of foreplay?

52. What is your favorite kink and why?

53. What is your favorite part of your body?

54. What is your favorite pet name?

55. What is your favorite position in the bedroom?

56. What is your favorite type of non-sexual contact?

57. What is your newest kink?

58. What is your safe word?

59. What is your top sexual fantasy?

60. Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?

61. Would you have sex on the first date?

62. Would you rather be handcuffed or blindfolded?

63. Would you rather make out or cuddle?

[switch-witch-erin]

This post is about the very experience of loving tickling, the feeling of shame for it, the feeling of being somehow abnormal, which as far as I know actually haunts many.

This is gonna be a long read, featuring my journey to finding peace in liking tickles + how I managed to clarify for myself that liking platonic tickling is a thing, and is, in fact, okay. I’ll try to make it as short as I can :,)

❗️All of this is just a reflection of my experience, please be respectful

First of all, I have to say that tickling has always been a main form of showing affection in my family — here

For my parents and siblings, it was of utter importance to never show “weakness” in any way or form, no saying “I love you”, no hugs nor kisses, no words of validation, only stuff like “study hard so you can get a better job in the future”, “don’t forget to wear your scarf, it’s cold outside”, so basically they showed their love through doing anything they could for me to survive and thrive, but without any affection. And since affection wasn’t allowed, my siblings decided to start disguising it by messing with me, like tickling me silly, claiming that they’re just teasing and pestering me, while also making it fun and entertaining. They were gentle and careful, especially considering our big age difference (I’m 25, and my eldest brother is 48), and it made me feel so loved and cherished that I never wanted it to stop. Most tickle fights happened with my sister, seven years older than me, and she’d let me win just to cheer me up, which also gave me an extra boost of joy and love for her.

Therefore, by the time I went to school, I was 100% certain that everyone liked tickling, they just played the game of pretending, while actually having fun. I was called a local tickle monster among my classmates and some of the teachers as I kept tickling my friends all over the school, and I was a very social kid, so it might have been around 30 people on my “wanted” list x) Thinking about it now, I don’t remember a single kid actually getting uncomfortable or disliking the tickling. Maybe that’s because my tickles were gentle and didn’t last long as I was afraid of accidentally hurting peeps and made sure to keep it light. There also was a girl, around 15 years old, who really liked me and treated me like a younger sister because she thought I was a cute kid. She’d hang out with me and some of my classmates during breaks, put me on her lap, tell the stupidest jokes one could possibly come up with, and then tickle me silly, saying “See? I knew it was funny, you’re laughing!”. Unfortunately, I changed schools, and we never saw each other again, but it was fun while it lasted.

When I got older, like 12 or so, I remember there was a girl who kept initiating tickle fights with me on a daily basis, that was so much fun, basically my number 1 reason to go to school at the time x). I was a little overweight and insecure about my appearance, so her willingly touching me (as well as hugging me after the tickling) and saying that my giggles were cute made me feel so much better about myself, no words can possibly describe it. She was definitely a lot rougher than me when it came to tickling, but it was fine, maybe because I wasn’t that ticklish, so it didn’t bother me much. I even remember teachers watching us and smiling. Back then I didn’t feel embarrassed in the slightest, I treated it as any other form of fun activities, like playing hide and seek or drawing. Though it didn’t last long.

Next year, when I was 13, we got a new classmate, she was nice, but her mood kept changing every ten minutes, it was weird, probably a puberty thing, but still. We quickly became friends, and eventually, after about two weeks of getting to know each other, I started tickling her, and she became completely enraged. She yelled at me, slapped my hands away and started a whole ass rant about how people who tickle others are annoying and rude, while threatening to punch me if I tickle her again. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. It’s like my entire world got turned inside out, and I felt so guilty and ashamed of myself that all I could do was apologise and leave. Of course, now, as an adult, I understand that her reaction was way too intense, and I should’ve at least clarified that I didn’t mean to upset her. But back then I got absolutely mortified. As a cherry on top she started avoiding me like I did something terrible, and only in about three weeks she came up to me out of the blue and started a conversation like nothing happened. It felt weird, but I was so glad she seemed to have forgiven me I didn’t bother to ask questions. But that’s when the shame all tickling community knows started forming. “What if other people whom I tickled actually didn’t enjoy it? I haven’t seen someone tickling others as often as I did, what if it’s not okay to act like I do? What if I’m some kind of creep to others? What if I have been a creep this whole time, but no one bothered to tell me? Bad people don’t know or don’t care if they’re bad, they just do whatever they please, just like I did with my friends before. What if I’m actually a bad person? A creep?” Yeah, well, that was just the tip of the iceberg. Among puberty-related things, that made me feel insecure as well and I stopped being as social as I was, I closed off, but the need to have tickles in my life persisted, and I started watching those silly tickling moments from cartoons and anime posted on YouTube. Watching them has always made me smile, and it felt like a void inside me started to fill up. I can only compare the feeling to hugging my boyfriend or receiving support from my friends - that fuzzy feeling that makes life worth living. I remember panicking when these videos started appearing on my feed even after I deleted them from my YouTube history, as it felt like I’m doing something perverted and unnatural. Once, the videos popped up on my main YouTube page while I was watching stuff with my friend, and I was mortified. She didn’t question it, not sure if she even noticed, but I wanted to die right there on the spot. When I was thinking all of it over as a teen, I used to compare myself to creepy fetishists, who pile up various disturbing stuff in their PC folder just to open when no one’s looking. The thought made me cry so many times I can’t even count, as I couldn’t share with anyone about it, and I assured myself that I am a creep, so if I want to stop being one I should get rid of that liking tickling thing and enjoy “normal” stuff. So I deleted all of the saved videos, art and other stuff, unfollowed the creators and went on with my life. It was a difficult decision, but I was determined.

Several months later my classmates (13-15 years old) started a massive tickle fight, among like ten or so people, and it all was happening right in front of me. I was staring at them with googly eyes, sitting there all tensed up and confused like ??? You’re all not supposed to do that??? How dare you??? And it was mostly among boys, so one of them approached me with a big grin on his face, and some sort of Tarantino dialogue happened

— Hey, why aren’t you participating? Are you not ticklish?

— N-No…

And he proceeded to start tickling me, but I didn’t react, either because I was still shocked or because I didn’t want to be a part of it, I’m not sure myself. And when he saw the lack of reaction, I swear to god, he was UPSET. He lowered his head and pouted a little, mumbling something like “damn, okay”. I can’t say for sure whether he was upset because of me (presumably) not being ticklish, or because he wanted to make me react, but something in my head clicked. Like… “oh, you want tickles? I’ll give you tickles!” And I started tickling him back furiously. Nothing painful or uncomfortable, just rather intense as I targeted almost all of his upper body at the same time. The guy’s laughter was silent, and he leaned over, shaking with inaudible giggles, but he didn’t try to get away. Not even once. When I realised what I was doing, I stopped, feeling mortified once again. It felt like I was using him for my “perverted” needs, like I just submerged this boy to something he doesn’t enjoy for my “sick” pleasure. You know that feeling when you’re about to explode with crying, but you hold yourself back as much as you can with what little power you still have? Yeah, that was how I felt. When suddenly he sat up with an even bigger grin on his face than before, looked at me with such a happy, excited expression, and then turned to the others, yelling out “Beware! She’s not ticklish, and she’s a master tickler!” Then he glanced back at me and said “Hey, it’s not fair you’re not ticklish, you’re imbalanced! (Russian slang for someone or something way mightier than their group) Come with us, you’d be an absolute winner!” [Love men’s urge to constantly compete lol]

A school bell, indicating that the next lesson is starting, saved my sorry ass. Imagine how hard it was to concentrate on studying after all of that x)

By the time I came home I was so confused I could barely talk to anyone, completely stuck in my own thoughts. It seemed like they all were enjoying the tickling, and they were participating in it willingly, having fun together. No one minded getting tickled, and even though no one said out loud that they enjoyed it, it was obvious. So my brain gears started rotating. If it’s okay for others to enjoy tickling, why can’t it be okay for me? Yes, maybe I like it more than they do, but what’s so bad about it? Some people like martial arts, some people like drawing, dragons, marine biology, sports, massages, and I like tickling! It’s a special interest, my special interest. I do it because it feels nice, and not only it makes me happy, other people enjoy it too! Not everyone, naturally, just like not everyone likes being touched in general. But to people, who enjoy tickling, it’s a nice way to unwind and have fun. It’s some kind of monkey brain thing like “me make other monkey happy with tickles, other monkey happy = I happy”. Apes together strong x)

And slowly but surely I began my research, checking what it’s like to enjoy tickling, how it works in biology and psychology, why some people like it and some don’t, why some are more ticklish than others and whatnot. It was fascinating. Humans are so fucking weird (affectionately), there’re so many details, nooks and crannies that take part in our existence…

But scientific part aside, I decided to switch on my critical thinking skills as well and actually look at my situation from someone else’s perspective. And eventually came up with a basic scheme. The questions I asked myself were:

1. Do I harm anyone, including myself, by liking/participating in tickling?

2. Does tickling bring me joy?

3. Do I violate people’s boundaries by tickling them?

4. Is it considered inappropriate to enjoy tickling?

As a result, I came up with several conclusions, which can be summed up in one statement

“If tickling is consensual and brings joy to both parties, there shouldn’t be any problems with it”

Maybe you noticed that some people who don’t have tickling as their special interest enjoy it too! It is a form of affection after all, so, since it brings me joy, why should I be embarrassed about it? Don’t get me wrong, even though all of my friends know I like tickling (they saw my art, we’ve talked about it a lot, I share the news of what’s up with the community and many other things), sometimes I get so fucking embarrassed I don’t have words to describe such strong emotions. Fortunately, my friends are good people, they remind me that it’s okay… it doesn’t stop them from poking and teasing me, but can’t say that I mind x) Even people like my brother’s wife know about that special interest of mine, and ALL of them, and I mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON think that it’s okay. Some said that it’s even cute. But it still wasn’t enough for me to let go and enjoy myself, so I decided to contact a specialist.

By the time I became an adult I decided to talk about my liking of tickling with my therapist, and mind you this woman was definitely overqualified when it comes to all the stuff I asked her. Looking back at it I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it might have looked to her.

“Hello, my name is Erin, I’m 22, I really like tickles, both tickling and being tickled, is there something wrong with me? 🥺”

I bow to her ability of keeping a poker face. True professional. I don’t want to go into the details, but overall she said that enjoying platonic tickles is actually very common, especially for people on autism spectrum and those with ADHD (aka me). [Not that everyone who likes tickles should immediately get tested] She told me that she had a patient with severe autism, he had trouble talking to people, and he didn’t enjoy being touched. So whenever he wanted to express affection for his family members, he’d gently tickle their side a little and smile at them. Tickling was his love language. And, in case anyone is still wondering about whether tickling can only be a kink, I really doubt that it was anything sexual for him. By the way, you can read a post made by an actual psychologist regarding tickling not necessarily being a kink.

And since tickling has always been the main form of affection I received, it’s only natural that I carried it into adulthood. I’m 25 years old, a whole grown ass woman with a degree, a job, my own apartment and goals to achieve. Why on Earth would I drop enjoying something as lighthearted and fun as tickling because someone considers it weird?

The actually weird thing is telling people what they are, and what they’re supposed or not supposed to enjoy.

If getting tickled silly by my man is what makes me happy, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

Peace out, have fun, and stay true to yourself ✌🏻

Hope my post helps you feel at least a little better 🌸

[kybercrystals94]

Nightmares and Demons

Read here on Ao3!

Summer of Bad Batch 2024 Prompts -> Bonus Alternate Prompt: Light in the Darkness -> Week 12: Nightmares & Radio Silence -> Week 13: "Stop Touching Me!" // "I'm not touching you!"

Rated: T | Words: 1443 Author's Note: This is a roundabout sequel to my Febuwhump 2024 story Poisoned.

“Remember, remember, remember…” Crosshair murmurs through gritted, gnashing teeth. He presses the heels of his hands into his temples, fingernails digging into his scalp. “...remember, remember…” A sob. “...please, remember…” 

The girl came again. She knows his name. Speaks with a familiarity he craves. She tells him they are coming. Their brothers. Their brothers are coming. It is only a matter of time. He believes her. He has to believe her. If he doesn’t, he has nothing. Nothing but the poison that the Empire has leached into him. Needles and torture and endless, endless pain. 

Her promise, void and empty as it is, is like a light in the inky, consuming darkness. A fragile, flickering flame on the end of a match. It burns close to his finger tips, but he won’t let it go. 

“What have they done to you, Crosshair?” the girl asks when she comes. 

Crosshair tries to ignore her, tries to remember. Their brothers. Her promise. They’re coming. 

“...remember, remember, remember…” 

If he falls asleep, he doesn’t remember. He never remembers. 

He only feels the ghosts of memories, transparent and impossible to grasp in desperate fists. They brush past him, leaving lingering anguish in their wake. They never comfort, only torment and haunt him. 

When Crosshair wakes, it is silence that greets him. Not the girl. Not their brothers. 

Crosshair stands and looks out the grate of his cell. The other cell doors are swung open while his remains firmly latched. Why didn’t the guards take him too? Have they finally finished their experiments? Has he finally outlived his usefulness to the Empire? But that isn’t right. Something is wrong. 

Panic pricks his skin, stutters his heartbeat, quickens his panting breaths. 

He doesn’t understand. He should be grateful he is being left alone. 

He doesn’t want to be alone. He shouldn’t be alone. 

“...we don’t leave our own behind…”

“...we would’ve taken you back…”

“...it is his nature…” 

“...you're my brother too…”

The ghosts press in. Memories darkened with poison, glimpses of clarity in a clouded mind. He shouldn’t be alone. He doesn’t want to be alone. Please, don’t leave me alone! 

Crosshair stumbles back from the grated door. Nearly falls. “Guard?” he calls out. Don’t call out. Don’t draw attention. “Guard!” His voice pitches in his throat, a near scream.

A guard comes. He stands at the grate, looking in through a lifeless, broken visor. His blaster hangs loosely from one gloved hand. His armor is stained with blood and scorch marks. “You’re still here,” the guard says incredulously, voice thin and weak. 

Crosshair only stares back. 

The guard tips his head. “Funny. I didn’t think they’d leave one of their own behind.” 

“Behind?” Crosshair whispers. 

The guard opens the door. Steps toward him. “They came for the girl, they came for the others…but they didn’t come for you.” 

Crosshair thinks his lungs turn to stone. He can’t breathe, can’t draw in a breath, can’t speak a word. The guard takes another step. He lifts his blaster. “The Empire doesn’t need a singular, damaged clone. Its own kind don’t even want it. Why would we?” 

The girl wouldn’t leave him behind. Their brothers wouldn’t leave him behind. She promised they would come. For her. For them. They wouldn’t leave him behind. 

But they did. 

“Don’t,” Crosshair rasps out. He can’t move. His body paralyzed with something. Fear? Resignation? 

The muzzle of the blaster gouges into this chest. He feels its cold heat through the thin cloth of his shirt, over the pounding throb of his heart.  

Silence. 

And in the silence, the click of a trigger. 

***

Crosshair chokes on a frantic gasp of breath, the inhale burning down a raw throat. He tries to kick out of the blankets tangled around his limbs, but they hold fast, binding him to the horrifying remnants of the nightmare. Crying out, his frantic movements become panicked and uncoordinated until he falls with a heavy crash from his bed to the cold, unforgiving floor. 

The main light of his room clicks on.

The click of a trigger. 

The darkness is banished in an instant, but the terror lingers still. He thrashes, one hand trying to disentangle himself, the other an empty wrist useless to do anything. 

“Hey, hey,” a voice says, “Cross, it’s okay. It’s alright. It’s just a nightmare.” 

“Stop touching me!” Crosshair cries. He isn’t talking to the voice. He’s talking to the endless fabric that confines his movements, his freedom…

“I’m not touching you,” the voice says, sounding confused. “Hold still, let me help you. I’ll help you, Cross…just…” 

Hands, steady and sure, swiftly free Crosshair from the folds of blankets. He is too relieved to feel ashamed yet. Crosshair simply sits, skin burning with cold adrenaline, nightclothes damp with sweat. His breathing is short and quick. He needs to calm down before he passes out. He knows that, but his body doesn’t care. His body doesn’t listen to reason. His mind can barely comprehend it itself. 

An arm wraps around him. “Easy, easy. It was a nightmare. Breathe. Just focus on your breathing. Okay? Nothing else.” Loud, exaggerated breaths guide him to even out his own breathing. It feels like long, shivering hours before his mind clears enough to recognize Hunter at his side on the floor. 

Embarrassment readily takes hold as adrenaline seeps out, but Crosshair can’t bring himself to pull away. Not yet. He closes his eyes, focuses on his breathing. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hunter asks.

Crosshair bites back the reflexive refusal. He lets the question settle instead, unanswered and expectant. 

Hunter doesn’t ask again, doesn’t move away. 

Omega talks about her nightmares, sometimes. Crosshair hasn’t tried to listen, but when the house is silent, and the only sound is the trembling voice of their little sister, confessing the demons that plague her sleep, it is hard not to. However, it seems to help her. The lies of the darkness cowering away in the light of the truth when Hunter tells her she’s safe now, Hemlock isn’t coming back, the Empire is no longer searching…she’s safe, she’s loved, she’s home…

Their home. 

“...it was about Tantiss,” Crosshair murmurs, his voice unsteady. 

Hunter hums. 

“I couldn’t remember anyone,” Crosshair continues, “The drugs they’d used clouded them. Omega was there, but I couldn’t remember her name. She told me our brothers were coming. They were coming for us…but I couldn’t remember who our brothers were.” 

Hunter’s grip tightens just a little, pulling him closer. 

Crosshair shudders against him. He has to finish or he never will. “In the nightmare, I woke up and everyone was gone. The other cells were open, all open except for mine. A guard came to my cell. He looked like he’d been in a firefight.” His throat constricts, but he can’t stop now. Even if he wanted to. The words rush out of him. “He said…he said that I’d been left behind. My brothers had come, but not for me. He said that I was no longer useful, that a solitary clone that wasn’t even wanted by its own kind was worthless…and then he shot me through the heart.” 

Shame washes over him as he exposes the dark corners of his mind to his brother. Thoughts he’s buried deep that claw their way out of the filth with sharp claws when he’s most vulnerable. He feels raw and unfortified, shivering on the floor of his bedroom. But at the same time, he feels protected. When his own strength failed him, Hunter stepped in, offering his own in the dark of night when demons both born and inflicted rushed in to torment. 

Hunter does not speak for a long time, but the silence isn’t empty. It is companionable. Crosshair has missed companionable silence. It is hard to come by. 

“I know that you know the truth,” Hunter says at last. “But sometimes it helps to hear it.” 

Crosshair nods. He is familiar with these words. He’s heard Hunter speak them to Omega many dark nights. 

“The truth is,” Hunter continues softly, rough voice low, “You and Omega escaped Tantiss together. You saved each other, and found us again. The truth is, no matter what the Empire thinks of us, you are our brother, and we love you.” 

Crosshair swallows back the emotions that threaten to betray him. 

“The truth is, that we are safe,” Hunter goes on, “and we’re together now. The truth is, you’ll never be alone again. Not if we have anything to say about it.” 

Crosshair sinks into the one armed embrace of his brother. 

He’s safe. 

He’s loved. 

He’s home.

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[livmightlive]

Soul Eater AU: Legend and Hyrule

I would like to ask that everybody please ignore my poor drawing skills 😭 I’m very rusty right now so these are basically caveman drawings of what I’m trying to convey. 

As aforementioned Hyrule is the weapon out of the duo and he’s a magic rod inspired greatly by the one he used in Zelda 1. He’s about 4 feet tall in that form and can perform a couple of spells from Zelda 2: Jump, Shield, Reflect, Thunder, and Life. I think they could perform other spells or even rituals.

Hyrule has a lot of magic potential while Legend only has a bit but it works well with Legend only needing a little bit to cast while Hyrule basically pushes the spell out in a much bigger form. If they complete bigger spells there runs the risk of both of them exhausting themselves. 

They discovered in a bad fight that in a pinch, Hyrule can be used as a melee weapon as he has some weight 😭 They use this sparingly because it sets Legend up to be more likely hurt and Hyrule really isn’t meant to be used that way.

Hyrule is the son of a very infamous witch that was slain when he was very young. We’ll say maybe 5 years old? The royal family “took him in” as means to watch him closely and keep him away from the public. He wasn’t horribly bullied but was largely ignored or feared growing up. He was allowed to study very little magic in fear that he would develop into a witch. He had a very lonely childhood :(

Legend is the spare prince of Hyrule (the country) and was sent to live with his uncle to learn magic and combat. His father also wasn’t too sure what to do with an extra child. He grew up happy and out of the public eye until he was 12 when an assassin tried to end him. His uncle intervened and died protecting him. 

He was sent back to the castle to live, and there he met Hyrule, another lonely child. They became fast friends and realized that they were compatible as weapon and meister. Legend’s father sent them to school, idk if it would be death academy, where they became top of their class despite having a very shaky reputation built around the narrative of being the spare prince and son of a witch. 

At 16, Rule, and 17, Legend, they’re selected to go on a holy quest with 7 other people to stop an ancient evil from resurrection.

And that’s their story!! 

This has also somewhat become my emo/goth dress up game AS well as which demonias I think each would wear 😽 I forgot that in Soul Eater all of the characters wear big goth/emo shoes. I gave Hyrule the Boxer-13s and Legend… he gets bestowed the classic Swing-815s. 

I’d love to hear anybody’s thoughts, I love talking about this, whether it’s personal headcanons or fashion

[amiserableseriesofevents]

Wherever you find love (it feels like Christmas)

24 Clegan Christmas drabbles for 24 days!

Prompt from here (but randomized)

[Day 1] [Day 2] [Day 3] [Day 4] [Day 5] [Day 6] [Day 7] [Day 8] [Day 9] [Day 10] [Day 11] [Day 12]

[Read on AO3]

Day 13: Carols

Modern AU, wc 1484

On Christmas Eve the town center is packed with people who are making some last minute presents runs — these include one John Egan, who’s always doing things at the last possible minute “because he thrives under pressure, Buck” and definitely not because of his undiagnosed ADHD.

And as it is well known it’s almost impossible to see John Egan out and about without his best friend Buck Cleven — is best friend the right word? When are they going to finally cave and admit the feelings they have for each other? Jury’s still out on that — who of course has already done his Christmas shopping well in advance especially to avoid the Christmas Eve’s crowd.

So here they are, marching around the town center, John speaking a mile a minute seemingly without ever draw breath and Buck — who’s actually Gale, as he never tires to repeat, but everyone seems to have forgotten it — right by his side in silence, holding John’s shopping bags for him when the other’s too busy gesticulating. He might look annoyed to the untrained eye but those who know him are able to read the deep affection in his eyes, an amused expression in the curve of his lips where he keeps his toothpick, a fondness that goes well beyond friendly feelings in the faint blush that blossoms on his cheeks whenever John slings one arm around his shoulders or grabs him from one arm to drag him towards this or that shop.

“I think I’m done now!” John exclaims satisfied as they step out of a bookshop with two more wrapped parcels in the bag. It’s almost dinnertime, he needs to hurry back home for the family meal his mom’s spent the whole day cooking for if he wants to be alive to see Christmas tomorrow.

“You sure? D’you have one for your mom?” Buck asks.

“Yes, that jumper we bought earlier.”

“Your dad?”

“We got him that fancy inkwell for his fountain pen.”

“Sisters?”

John shakes the bookshop’s bag. “We just got those, Buck!”

Another imperceptible smile graces Buck’s mouth at that. “Hey, I’m just making sure you didn’t forget about anyone. Remember that time you left your mum without a Christmas present?”

“I do,” John says shuddering at the memory. “But I swear, this time I got everything right on time. Yours I got it weeks ago,” he adds with a wink.

“You got me a present?” Buck asks, surprised and delighted. “You shouldn’t have.”

“Hey, you mean you didn’t get me one?” John shoots back to which Gale responds, almost offended, “Of course I got you one, it was the first I got.”

“See? You get me a Christmas present, I get you a Christmas present. That’s how it works when people love each other Buck, they exchange presents,” John says, hoping he hasn’t been too forward. He knows he loves Buck, definitely as more than just a friend, but he wants to be sure the other’s on the same page before risking ruining their friendship.

He doesn’t know how his words warmed up Buck’s heart, he misses the spark of unchecked hope in his eyes because a sound makes him turn around: there’s a small crowd forming in the square, everyone stopping to listen to a group of singers. They’re all dressed in red, with Santa’s hats or reindeer’s antlers on their heads, and their voices are in perfect harmony as they sing Christmas carols. With a silent nod John grabs Buck’s hand once more and drags him closer to the choir, a wide smile on his face as he listens to the music; it reminds him of his childhood, when he would walk around town with his parents and sisters and they would always stop listening to the carolers, or sometimes it was the carolers who came to their house and John would stand at the door in his mother’s arms, his head against her shoulder as the songs went on.

He turns to Buck to tell him, it’s a story he’s sure he hasn’t shared before, but he’s taken aback when he notices that his friend looks sad, that particular kind of melancholy in his eyes John’s always ever seen there when it’s something to do with Gale’s childhood. He leans in closer, just enough to whisper in his ear. “You ok Buck?”

When Buck just nods, John pushes further. “You wanna leave?”

“Not if you wanna listen,” Buck answers but John shakes his head. “I’ve heard them thousands of time and I’m running late, let’s go,” he says.

When they’ve walked far enough from the crowds that Buck feels comfortable speaking, he says, “I used to love carolers, they came to all the houses down our street on Christmas Eve and it was so nice, they were so good. I was always the one answering the door because I knew my dad wouldn’t like them, but one year I didn’t get there in time. He was drunk, obviously, and started shouting at the carolers before they could even start singing. I think he even threw an empty bottle of them, I’m not sure, the only thing I know is that they never came back to our house after that year. They would go down the street and avoid us like the plague. I can’t blame them of course, but I wished they understood and came anyway.”

“I’m sorry, Buck,” John says mortified. “I promise I had no idea you hated carols-”

“It’s not that I hate them,” Buck interrupts him. “I miss the way they made me feel, that’s it. But don’t you worry about me, John: I have many happy Christmas traditions now, with you and our friends. I don’t need carolers anymore,” he adds with a reassuring smile, but John’s mind already forged a whole plan.

So later that night, Gale’s sitting at his living room table writing the last of his Christmas cards when someone knocks at his door. He wonders who could that be since all his friends are busy with their family, they’re not supposed to meet before lunch tomorrow, but since the knocking continues he stands up sighing and walks to the door, ready to send away whoever’s come to disturb his peace on this fine evening.

He almost chokes on his own spit when he opens the door and sees John standing in front of him with one of his obnoxious Christmas sweater and a Santa hat perched upon his curls. “I only have ten minutes before my mum notices I’m gone and starts hunting me for sport,” he says pulling out his phone.

“What are you-” Gale tries but John shushes him, frantically scrolling on his screen until he finds what he’s looking for. Tinny piano notes come from the speaker, filling the air, and John starts singing a very off-key rendition of All I Want For Christmas Is You.

Gale’s never heard anyone sing worse, he’s offbeat, rushing to catch up with Mariah Carrey’s voice, breathless and increasingly red in the face as the song progresses.

Gale’s sure he’s never loved anyone as much as he loves John right now.

When the music stops, John takes a few second to catch his breath as Gale keeps staring at him in awe. “You watched Love Actually too many times,” he finally says, unable to hide the smile printed on his face.

Still panting and made brazen by the performance, John grins. “Why, you need a sign to know that to me, you are perfect?” He asks and then, catching the shocked look on Buck’s face, he panics. He scrambles to find something to say that wouldn’t sound too much like an actual love confession but his mind is completely blank, and to be honest Buck doesn’t look offended by what John said, he just looks surprised, hopeful even. Can it be…?

They stare at each other, faces flushed and with shortness of breath. John reads in Buck’s eyes the thing he’s hoped for for so long and decides, I am gonna kiss you now.

But before he can act on his words, his phone starts ringing loudly and when he checks what’s going on he blanches. “I think my mum found out I’m not home anymore,” he says. He has to run back, but how can he when he was so close to kissing Buck?

“Buck, I-” He starts, distraught.

“Go,” Buck tells him. “Go back before your mum kills you. Come here a little earlier tomorrow, though? I need to, erm, tell you something.” He adds, blushing even deeper.

If he wasn’t so afraid for his own life, John would be hollering. “Sounds good Buck, see you tomorrow. And merry Christmas!” He shouts, running back home.

Now alone in front of his house, his heart a thousand pounds lighter than usual, sure that no one’s gonna see him, Gale fist bumps the sky.

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 ao3

Eddie goes to slip out for some air when El starts to doze against Steve’s shoulder.

As he reaches the door, Steve calls for him with a soft, “Wait a sec.”

He turns to see Steve trying to sit up a little, still mindful not to jostle El from where she now sits on the edge of the bed.

“Wake me up if I’m asleep when you get back? I don’t wanna miss Joyce.”

He says it casually, like it’s nothing, but Eddie can hear the trust in his voice.

“Yeah, ‘course I will,” Eddie says, and manages a genuine if subdued smile before he leaves the room.

Outside, he feels like he can let go a little, sighing loudly. It’s starting to rain, but he welcomes it, tilts his face upwards to focus on the sensation of water hitting his skin—hoping that maybe it will somehow chase away the memory of Steve’s words.

You shouldn’t have—

That’s different.

Eddie presses his hands against his eyes, sighs again.

“You okay there?”

He lowers his hands, blinks to adjust to the light.

Joyce Byers is sat on a bench smoking a cigarette, the overhang of the hospital roof sheltering her from the rain. She pats the space beside her in invitation.

He sits down hesitantly. “Yeah, I’m… I’m fine.”

She smiles like she’s not convinced, blows out smoke a little shakily. She takes another drag, then says, “Hop’s gone for Round Two with the doctors. We want Steve to get a discharge note as soon as possible, you know? I just…” She sighs. “Just needed a minute.”

“He’ll be okay, right?” Eddie blurts out, can’t stop a note of anxiety from creeping in. Embarrassingly, his voice trembles right at the end.

Joyce immediately reaches across and squeezes his knee; her hand is small and warm. “Oh, yes, he’s—I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to make you worry.” She finishes the cigarette, stubs it out, and meets Eddie’s gaze reassuringly as she speaks. “He’s recovering, we know that for sure. Jim… Jim talked to him, and he’s probably in more pain than he’d ever let on, but we’re—trust that we’re ready for that, okay? We’re not gonna let him suffer in silence.”

There’s a fierce determination in her voice, and it takes the edge off Eddie’s worry—soothed by the thought that Steve does have people fighting for him.

Joyce draws back her hand, rubs briefly at the side of her face.

Eddie can’t stop himself from noticing, from asking. He never could. “Are you okay?”

She drops her hand, smiles at him. “Oh, you’re sweet. I’m all right, just…” Her eyes go off into the middle distance for a moment, and he is reminded of the snatches he saw of her around town three years ago, when people would sigh patronisingly: That poor woman.

“They had a whole file on Will, you know? So many damn papers, all these charts and monitoring, and, ‘Oh, isn’t this fascinating,’ and…”

Eddie inhales sharply, glad he’s already sitting down. There’s still gaping holes in his knowledge, he knows that Dustin gave him a hasty summary—needs must and all that, just glossing past it with an It all started when Will disappeared. Hearing it from Joyce like this is different, makes him reckon again with the sheer magnitude of it; and he feels ill at the thought of a very young Will Byers being studied.

“But when I cornered them today, it was… they barely had half a page on Steve.” She exhales forcefully. “Cowards. They thought they could get away with it.”

“With what?” Eddie says, already knowing that he won’t like the answer.

“They’re trying to run,” Joyce replies shortly. “They’re getting rid of evidence. I think they thought—hoped—that Steve would slip through the cracks.”

Eddie’s breath catches at that, and Joyce grips his knee again.

“Hey, listen to me. We’re not letting that happen. We’ve got him, okay?”

Eddie nods. “O-okay.”

“I’d better head up and see him.” Joyce stands, and then she just looks at him. “Eddie, you’re—you’ve done so much, you know? Thank you.”

Eddie can’t bite his tongue. “You don’t even know me,” he says, and he’s not sure himself of what he means, if it’s an accusation or… He’s used to murmurs, whispers, suspicion.

But Joyce’s eyes are shining with something like acceptance. She smiles, says, “I know enough,” like it’s easy.

And when she leaves, Eddie just sits with that. Breathes it in. Lets himself trust.

-

He crosses paths with El and Hopper as he heads back inside. He does a feigned double take in the foyer when El spots him, then crosses his eyes.

El sticks out her tongue.

Hopper doesn’t notice him; there’s a purpose to his step, car keys in hand.

Eddie lets them go.

-

Steve doesn’t need to be woke up; Eddie can already hear him talking as he approaches the room. The door is shut, but the corridor is empty, so silent that Eddie can make out words, muffled but comprehensible. Joyce.

“—so sorry, Steve, we went to the cabin first, and the phone kept cutting out, and then Hop got sick so we wanted to hold off, just in case it made you—”

“No, no, it’s fine, I wasn’t expecting—”

There’s a chair just outside the room—Eddie lowers himself into it and waits.

They talk for a while. Eddie zones out for part of it as Joyce does most of the talking, references to Russia that mostly go right over his head.

But then Steve speaks again, and there’s a discomfort in his voice that has Eddie straightening in his seat.

“I know you paid to fix the window, Joyce, please let me—”

“No, no, that’s not—”

“—pay you back, I can—”

“Steve,” Joyce insists, and it’s said kindly, but Eddie can sense the steel core behind it. “No. I don’t want you worrying about anything like that. It’s not a problem, okay?”

There’s a pause. In the silence, it’s almost like Eddie can feel Steve grappling for words.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I probably left the place a mess,” Steve says quietly.

“No, not at—”

“And, um, if you’re using the dryer, you’ve gotta—I don’t know what I did, but it’s not broken-broken, you just need to really slam it, and then it should—”

“All right,” Joyce interrupts gently. “Steve, it’s—thank you for—”

“No, you don’t need to—the house is always open if the kids need it, they know where the spare key is.”

“Still, it’s—it’s really kind of you to…” Joyce trails off, and Eddie wonders what she’s thinking. What she’s noticed.

Please see him. Reach him.

“It’s good for the kids to have that space,” Joyce says. “They’ve really needed it.”

“And they’re, um.” Steve’s voice wavers. “They’re all okay?”

“Oh, honey. Yeah, they’re all just fine, they can’t wait for you to—”

“I just—” Steve breathes in and out shakily. When he speaks again, his voice starts to rise in pitch, fighting tears. “I just needed them to be okay.”

Quick footsteps. Steve makes a small, desperate kind of gasp. Eddie does not need to see to know that Joyce is holding him.

“Everyone’s okay. You—you did so well, you kept them all safe.” She sighs. “Oh, sweetie, you’ve been so brave.”

And Steve quietly falls apart.

-

When Joyce leaves, she sweeps Eddie up in a brief, strong hug, almost lifting him right out of the chair. It reminds him a little of Nancy.

“They think I can leave in a couple of days,” Steve tells him. The only giveaway of earlier on is the blotches around his eyes—now he seems to breathe a little easier.

Eddie hopes that whatever strings Joyce and Hopper have pulled, it warrants Steve being given much more than half a fucking page.

“Tomorrow, could you, um—like, would you mind just picking up some clothes from mine? Just wanna look, uh, as normal as—”

“Normal? Think that ship sailed a long time ago, Harrington.”

Steve scoffs through a laugh. “You just don’t appreciate art when you see it.”

“Want me to iron the polos, too?”

“Now let’s not go crazy,” Steve says, smile broadening.

And it’s only when he goes to sprawl on the couch again that Eddie notices it’s pressed up against Steve’s bed once more—that Steve, at some point, must have asked for it to be moved back.

[nus4y]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

51,695! About 30k of it is from Clerical Errors in Love

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

Four! One multi-chap and 3 oneshots!! I did them relatively close together as well since i only started publishing my works Oct-Nov?

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I dont think i have any ongoing fics rah

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

Oh god where do I start!! Am i allowed to say nearly every chapter of Clerical Errors? I think chapter 6 had to an all time fav wink wink

However I think my pride and joy was my trans masc Azriel fic Take my heart pull it apart It’s actually very dear to me despite being pretty short.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I’m having major imposter syndrome honestly, I’m not even sure what my style is I’m still very new to all of this haha

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Uh YEAH!? The amount of comments I got on Clerical Errors was genuinely mind blowing to me, especially considering that was my very first piece of work I had ever published aajkajaka

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Ugh absolutely I love Take my heart, pull it apart and This World Was Never Made For Me soooo much. I suspect they’re less popular bcs they’re not ship fanfic but ah i love writing angst!!!

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

@lucychanart @palomita-de-la-sangre both have insane artwork

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

SO MANY AHH

@greenvelvetcouture @g00seg1rl @chunkypossum @ tessabeth @the-darkestminds @jules-writes-stories @neciebee @fourteentrout

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@g00seg1rl Oml bro writes the most DELISH smut i have ever encountered. As in full body blush type shi AHAKNSQOMA

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

Nope! I just fucking got here bro

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Honestly just opening Google docs and writing something actually worth reading. I’ve never really been good at creative writing to be honest but lately I am kinda proud of myself for writing that much!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

You will have a million ideas but unfortunately your brain takes a stupid long time to put that all into coherent writing/art 💔😭😭

14. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I definitely want to draw more, I have animatics planned and want to take a shot at full animation!

I’ve also got quite a few fics lined up which I am SUPER excited for!!! The titles being

-Crawling back to you

-Tongue tied

-Lonely is the muse

-Addicted to you

[lemonthepotato]

Amai’s Week

I didn’t even know until today that Amai had a week, that’s how hard this game fell off. Anyway, boy do I have some criticisms.

1) We need that many ways to enter a building in a mission? Why? It ends the same no matter what. The mission is still linear.

2) The dialogue in this game is so stiff and not how people talk. Never played a Hitman mission where the target said “I’m going to be here at X time, doing Y thing, blah blah blah” but Amai is kind enough to specify the times she’ll be serving food. Yeah, it’s kind of intuitive to not exit the classroom and start serving octodogs, the cooking club should know it’ll only be at morning, lunch and after school.

3) Amai’s sabotage events are so silly. I remember jokingly thinking “what? are we going to be giving him a pink apron or something?” as a JOKE. And then it HAPPENED, essentially. These characters are meant to be adults LARPing as teenagers but even a teenager has more maturity than “oh, you made an apron I didn’t like!” What? Did Ayano draw a swastika on it or another hate symbol? The game refers to it as a ‘lame’ apron, which implies it’s more likely that Ayano used a bland colour scheme. I’m sorry, but “I wanted a black apron but you made me a pink one, that offends me” is not on the same level. And by the way- if Amai’s food is giving people food poisoning due to Ayano’s sabotage, why is she still allowed to run the bake sale???

I was genuinely thinking “surely, it’s more going in this direction” during the picnic talk. It was. So, what? Amai is supposed to control the insects?

If you sabotage all of Amai’s events, Senpai should get the sense that she’s a BAD COOK. Literally all. Her sabotage events are NOT enough to warrant being cut off or rejected.

4) I like how no one in this game questions a giant ass water fountain placed randomly in a room.

5) THE LOVE CONFESSION DOESN’T MAKE AMAI LOOK GOOD, EITHER. Who the FUCK says “yeah, I know I’ve known you for a week, but I was actually pissed at you for mourning your dead friend because… what about me???”

OKAY, TO BE FAIR, THAT “MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THAT IN MIND” LINE FROM AYANO GOES HARD ASF 🔥

6) Okay lol I just. I love how funny Kizana is.

I like to imagine Ayano and Senpai are in some Truman Show situation where Info-chan is just hiring all these colourful personalities to rizz Senpai to create the craziest situations ever. Like Ayano is just some institutionalised person who was dragged out by a studio to be exploited in her dire mental state. Can’t wait to get Kizana in 2025 and Oka in 2026.

Look I’m an Amai defender but spitting in someone’s food is VILE. The reason I don’t go to… let’s call it OldRonalds is because three employees spat in my food. I had three occasions. Yeah, wasn’t risking a fourth. AND IT’S IMPLIED SHE DID THIS SEVERAL TIMES. That is NASTY.

7) Yeah I definitely talk to myself when cooking. That’s totally normal.

8) SHE TELEPORTS IMMEDIATELY TO THE FLOOR. ALSO HOW WOULD NO ONE HEAR THAT???

9) A small pet peeve of mine over the years is the line “oh my god! is that a dead body?” when talking about their classmates. Akademi is a small school, where everyone should know each other. Maybe- like “Oh my god! [character’s surname, because it’s Japan, or whatever their nickname is considering Akademi has nicknames]? A-are you okay? I need to get help!”

10) Ben Shoku-ro asks us to essentially stalk Amai. Very normal. See, this is why I headcanon that Akademi is just a mental institution disguised as some… high school LARP. A very ineffective one, too.

11) I like how everyone has the exact same criticism with the exact same wording towards Amai’s cooking.

12) “You shoot 100% of the takes you don’t miss” is such a funny quote. No shit Sherlock.

13) “juvenile delinquent” aren’t they 18? C’mon, if you’re gonna use the “they’re actually 18” excuse, be consistent about it.

14) Welcome to Writing 101. In Inkyu and Sakyu’s conversation on Friday, the pink one (Inkyu, I believe) says “however?” While Inkyu is gathering her thoughts. It doesn’t add tension to the scene, they’re talking about fucking studying. It happens twice, actually. It’s awkward and drags on too long. I’m a writer, not a programmer, but surely there has to be a way to make the dialogue end faster?

Also Horuda canonically drawing kill art is real asf. She is not okay in the head and is expressing her emotions to avoid doing something dangerous. This is what we call showing, not telling. This is something this game struggles at.

15) Wait, Kyuji stalking Osana is a bounty? What if the player match made them? Is the game seriously gonna punish you for doing the pacifist route?

16) Why can Toga walk on bushes???

Okay if Senpai’s new personality is himbo than I kinda fw him.

HELP DID YANDEREDEV FORGET TOGA WASN’T A CREEP SO HAD TO RETCON IT?? Same with Horo, though I think Horo being weird was inferred by the demon Easter egg.

17) Also, another general criticism, but the dialogue in this game is so wonky. Instead of “Hey, blah blah, did you know blah blah dislikes gossip?” It could be “Hey, blah blah, X said to me gossipers were all evil people. Ridiculous, right? Who doesn’t gossip from time to time? Guess that’s what I’m doing” or something shorter than that. And things like money and violence shouldn’t even be discussable topics. I’m sorry but “Hey, Horuda Umetsu, did you know Amai Odayaka dislikes violence” would receive an “okay? don’t we all?” IRL. Like even though Horuda is prone to violence no one’s going around shaming people for disliking it WTF.

(Edit: Btw, before Amai came out, I made my own version of Amai’s week a year ago, along with the other rivals, but honestly? They suck. I’ll add them anyway, if you wanna check them out, but I got lazy halfway through and began half assing stuff: Amai, Kizana, Oka, Asu, Muja, Mida, Osoro, Hanako, Megami. I’m not saying these are better than the game. The way I characterised Kizana, for example? Canon Kizana is much better. The writing on these posts were somehow cringier than the actual writing. Why share it then? Dunno. I like humiliating myself? Oddly, I got a lot of nice DM’s from people about them at the time. I also made a shitty AU.) (I have more posts over there, like a mission mode concept ending) (also, it was only a year ago, but I feel like my writing has improved a ton since then)

Addendum: Not sure if I gave the impression I support YandereDev. I don’t.

[booktaggy]

i think “Lo-Fi Beats to Yoyle To” is one of my favorite not episode bfdi videos (is it a short? i guess its moreso a music video) purely because of how comfy it is and the slice of life-y ness of it. “its not canon-“ I DONT CARE SHOOTING U WITH MY EVIL LASER!!! um anyway yeah under the cut is me analyzing multiple scenes from it. i wont be looking into every single one but a lot of them

THE FIRST SCENE and its already a banger. even tho we dont see this hypothetical “team ice cube room” ever outside of this (yeah yeah not canon) it still is so interesting to like. think about. i cant remember how many times we’ve seen objects fall asleep at night but. i love how gelatin has a biiig sleep bubble thats him colored (does it taste like jelly??) AND. FIREY JR. SLEEPS IN A SOCK. thats adorable. anyway yeah even if its a reference to the lofi girl i really like how donut is, presumebly, writing in his diary? late at night with lofi music on? thats so cute. i also love how you can see a picture of bomby and a statue of ice cube on the top shelf

THIS SCENE is awesome too - we never really saw the big staircase outside of bfb 1 & 11 but i love the idea so much that it became a hangout spot for the objects! (in bfb 11x it even has graffiti on it after its first appearance in bfb 1, which is such a cool detail and goes to show the lived-in ness which i adore and this short does so well. and rhat isnt even in this video!! the point im making - bring back the big staircase. where did it go) even flower and bomby, characters who we never saw interact and are on different teams are listening to music together and eating bananas. thats so awesome, i love the idea that the contestants are way more chill with eachother when not competing? everything revolves around the competition which makes sense, but i love these little moments

next up! first off i love the lighting here, it seems to be at sunrise or sunset with the orange sky which is SO interesting cuz. we never see sunrise or sunset in the show!!!! its always just day or night. its crazy how they excluded the best time of day. anyway i love how:

- bell’s just vibing on her own!! it makes sense ig considering she can fly anywhere

-book’s seemingly watching bell? lesbian behavior

-GOLFBALL SHES JUST. doodling on her piece of paper thats adorable. i love seeing objects do the things they like!!!

i also really like how we see one of the paper airplanes. we see them in bfb 13 which is awesome too but seeing the stuff from prior challenges is so cool and i love the continuity

OMG ITS THE BFDI (Burried forest, deciduously insulated) again!!! i love seeing this thing, its similar to the paper airplanes or staircase where its so cool to see things which are one-off moments/objects/places in episodes, seeing them multiple times really helps flesh out the world. ALSO. naily and barfbag playing/vibing in the water. thats so adorable

the next scene is one where we see a few bleh members in their room from bfb 12 - once again going back to it being so cool to see places from other challenges!! (even if it appears to be the case that four just made and destroyed them for the episode.)

as you can SEE i specifically chose to highlight taco here. SHES JUST DRAWING A PICTURE OF HERSELF AND LABELING IT ME??? thats so cute i love her for that

AND HERE we have pin vibing in the goiky canal(?) in one of the boats. this is so awesome i love seeing the bfdi boats reappear and i love how pin’s just chilling. love her for that

LAST ONE i want to go over: oh my GOD?? ITS LEGO BRICK IN ONE OF THE LEVELS FROM BFDIA 5B?? this was and still is such a cool reference. the idea that they’re still stuck in evil leafy is such a interesting and sad idea!! the lofi music gives this scene an heir of loneliness which makes it so weirdly compelling to me.

anyway yeah thats it!!! if theres one thing to learn one of the best thints competition shows can and should do imo is slow down every once in a while and show the contestants living their lives. this was seen more recently with bfdia 13 but this video is another great example and it doesnt even use words or a story. it doesnt need to, the object show is a visual media and this is such an awesome video which tells us so much about the bfdi universe without words

usually i dont ask for reblogs and this isnt even an effort thing i wrote this in like 20 min but. it would mean a lot to me if you reblogged this cuz i think its really cool to see the objects here and i think more people should see and think about the slice of life portions of object shows