#they’re just silly little fuckers

[crystalmethsthings]

andrew minyard about neil josten bc he was gone from the moment they made eye contact:

[lokiiied]

i just love sharks so much, guys. 🦈🦈

[justy0urav3ragetr33]

Can. Can like. Can they stop making Piglins bad guys in like everything that isn’t just normal Minecraft. I love those little fuckers. They’re so silly. Just wear gold and they’re nice to you until you loot their shit. It’s that simple. They just doing their best. I love them dearly and want good things for them.

(Yes this is about the Minecraft movie trailer how could you tell-)

[sp0o0kylights]

Adopt a Jock Part 1 

Part 2 

Part 4

Shoutout to @bloomingconflagration for the title!!! And a HUGE thank you to everyone who left comments or gave suggestions!! I love you all you amazing, silly humans <3 <3 

There comes a time during a long work shift were your average overworked and underpaid employee starts to think they’re hallucinating. 

In Gareth’s case, it was when Steve Harrington walked through the doors of Palace Arcade, making a beeline right for him. 

“Gareth?” Steve asked, like he was the one out of place. “What are you doing here?” 

As if people just randomly stood behind the counter of retail and entertainment spaces with a nametag on. 

You know, for fun.

With a great deal of restraint, Gareth managed to hold the sass back, instead opting for a far more polite; ‘I work here, Harrington. What are you doing here?” 

Because no matter how much Hellfire had adopted Steve into its fold, Gareth could just not see the guy choosing to spend his free time at the local arcade. 

Not of his own free will, anyway. 

“Pick up duty.” Steve said, proving him right not even a second later. 

“Of what?” Gareth asked, puzzled, right before Steve’s name was shouted in stereo.

A miniature stampede took place as several children proceeded to swarm him like oversized puppies, most of them trying to talk at once. 

“One at a time, we talked about this!” Steve barked, loud enough to be heard over the commotion. “You’re giving me and Gareth here a headache!” 

He waved his hands in a “calm down” gesture, shaking his head and looking at Gareth in exasperation. “Probably giving the people in the video store next door one too, lord.”  

“Wait.” A curly-haired kid said, looking between the two older teens like he was watching the laws of the universe rewrite themselves in front of him. “You know Gary? How?”

“We are not close enough for you to call me Gary.” Gareth said dryly, for what felt like the fifteenth time that day. 

This was a regular battle between him and the kids who haunted the arcade.

(One had overheard Grant call him Gary the last time he was in, and ever since, every single child that graced this fine establishment with Cheeto-dusted fingers and candy-induced sugar rushes had decided to replace his actual name with his nickname.

The fact it clearly frustrated him only egged them on. )

“We go to school together Dustin,” Steve said, as if he were talking to someone particularly dense. 

“Yeah? You go to school with lots of people. You bitch about most of them.” Dustin fired back.”Plus Gary’s a total nerd. I bet you call him names.” 

"Hey, language!" 

Gareth’s eyes narrowed as he glared down at the little fucker. He was definitely going to remember Dustin (and equally going to watch and see what arcade games the younger teen played-- and top the score chart of every single fucking one.

He might be a nerd but he wasn’t gonna take that shit from a middle schooler.) 

“Hate to break it to you brats, but your babysitter here just joined our D&D club.” Gareth replied, if only to finally one-up the little bastards. “Our DM is building him a character as we speak.” 

(Which wasn't even a lie. Eddie was building a character for Steve. The guy just refused to give any input on grounds that he "wasn't going to play anyways." )

Abrupt and sudden silence, as several stunned faces stared at him. 

“Oh goddammit.” Harrington cursed, as the entire herd of children turned on him in unison like some kind of hivemind horror monster. 

“You joined the D&D club,” Dustin said slowly, outraged. “And you let them make you a character sheet, but you won’t play with us!?” 

“What the hell Steve!” The sporty-looking one whined, clearly hurt. “You won’t sit in on our games! You said they were lame!” 

“They are lame.” Steve defended immediately, pushing at sporty-kids head. It was fond though, the kind of gentle shove an elder brother gave to a younger one. It caused the kid's camo banana to fall into his eyes, which he adjusted quickly with a grumble. “Turns out the high school version’s cooler.” 

“He’s lying.” That from the bitchy one, whose arms were crossed over his chest, a glare on his face. “Steve probably paid Gary to say that” 

Gareth had seen that exact same stance on Steve at lunch that day, and wondered if the little asshole knew who he was copying when he did it. 

“Who cares about D&D?” This from the redhead, standing with another girl giggling in her ear. “I’m just amazed Steve has friends.” 

“Really Mayfield?” Steve said, looking almost betrayed. As if he thought she was going to be the one to defend him in this weird little showdown.

The girl leaning on her giggled harder, making Mayfield grin (even if she tried to hide it.)  She whispered something, which the redhead outright laughed at before repeating; “Adult friends even!” 

“Okay.” Steve said, clearly cutting the kids off before they could embarrass him further. “Thank you, unwanted peanut gallery, for all of that lovely commentary. Now go back to playing the games you little shits robbed me of all my quarters for, or we’re leaving.” 

Henderson’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you were here to pick us up?” 

“Oh I’m sorry, did Jonathan magically appear behind me in the last five seconds?” Steve turned around pretending to search the parking lot through the windows. “No? Then I guess we’re still waiting. Unless you, Lucas and Max want to leave first.” 

“You’re such an ass.” Dustin huffed, rolling his eyes. “Why aren’t you waiting in the car anyway?” 

“It’s raining, it’s cold, and I thought I’d come in to say hi to my friend.” Steve replied, so quickly it took Gareth a moment to realize what Steve referred to him as. 

He'd gotten the friend title before Eddie. 

His best friend was going to fucking freak. 

“Are you done drilling me or are you going to let Max kick your ass at DigDug again?” 

“Shit!” Henderson cursed, spinning to intercept the redhead as she bent to put a coin in said arcade machine. “Max, you said you’d let me keep my leaderboard score today! Max!” 

“I know you said you watched kids, but this wasn’t exactly what I was imagining.” Gareth said, slumping against the counter.  

(He'd been thinking of Steve watching much younger kids for one, and two, he was starting to get the idea the babysitter thing was used as an insult. 

Gareth knew a big brother vibe when he saw it.) 

Steve gave him a tired look. “Me neither man. Me neither.”

 Then; “You fucking owe me for that D&D comment, they’re never going to shut up about it now.”

Gareth winced. “Sorry. I was trying to help.” 

Steve blew out a breath. “I know. I appreciate the attempt.” 

Which was better than Steve bitching at him for it, not that he’d really ever done that to Gareth. 

The two of them hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to be playful like that with each other, though they had occasionally jumped in on opposing sides to arguments Eddie caused. Gareth figured they’d get there in time, but even with all the progress Steve made, he still had more off days than on. 

It was a fragile line to walk with him. Especially when there wasn’t a single member of Hellfire who wanted to ruin the progress they made. 

(Even if half of them would never admit to it.) 

“Steve?” A voice interrupted, quiet in a way that contrasted directly with how loud the rest of the brat pack was. 

Steve closed his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand as if to starve off a headache. 

“Yes, Baby Byers?” He asked after a long, painful pause, turning to look at the saddest looking kid in the bunch. 

“Is there actually a D&D club at the high school?” 

The kid looked at Steve like he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to hear the answer, but was hopeful for the outcome he wanted anyway. 

It was the kind of thing that pulled even on Gareth’s heartstrings, and he was almost immune to anything involving giant, sad eyes after a solid year of working at the arcade. 

(Never mind Eddie’s own puppy dog looks.)

Steve’s voice gentled, in a way Gareth had never quite heard him use before. “There is. You’d love it, it’s called Hellfire. I’m sure it’ll still be there next year when you come in as a freshman.” 

He nudged him with his shoulder playfully, smiling when the younger boy perked up. “If you’re nice, Garebear here might even put in a good word for you.” 

“Garebear?” Max repeated with a burst of laughter, appearing behind Steve like a fucking ghost. “Oh my god.” 

“No.” Gareth said, bolting upright from his slouch as he stared at her in horror. “Do not call me that.” 

“Sure thing, Garebear.” She outright cackled, as Steve sent him a wide-eyed, apologetic face. 

“What did you just call Gary?” The sporty one--Lucas, asked, a wide grin overtaking his face. 

“I swear to God.” Gareth threatened, as Steve took another dramatic look over his shoulder. 

“Hey look Jonathan’s here!” He yelled, jerking a thumb over his shoulder as he started quickly walking backwards. “Come on, dipshits, we're leaving!” 

“Bye Garebear!” Lucas and Max sang together, following after him. 

“Harrington!” Gareth howled, as Steve mouthed ‘Sorry’ over his shoulder, all but bolting out the door. 

“I like Garebear a lot better than Gary.” Another, random child informed him with a grin as he sauntered past, arcade tickets in hand. 

Steve Harrington, Gareth decided, was a dead man. 

Not even Eddie’s fucking crush on the guy could save him now. 

xXx

“Did you know Harrington has a literal pack of kids he watches?” Gareth asked a few hours later, messing with his drum kit as he set up for band practice. "He even drives them around." 

More than that though--he’d seemed almost normal around them. That was the most Gareth had seen the guy banter or act relaxed since Eddie had dragged him over. 

“He’s mentioned it multiple times.” Grant replied, tuning his bass. “You have ears Gareth, use them.” 

“Gareth? Listen?” Jeff teased as he dragged an amp into the garage. “I don’t think I’ll live to see the day.” 

"Oh screw you guys.” Gareth growled, winging a drumstick toward his friends for the insult.

Grant, long used to Gareth's tantrums (and Eddie's dramatics)  didn't look up from his bass.

Not even when the drumstick hit the wall with a bang!-- allll the way near the opposite end of the couch, entirely opposite of either him or Jeff. 

"As usual, your aim is dead on." Jeff appraised sarcastically. 

"Like I'd ever actually hit you." Gareth grumbled with a pout. "I was gonna say the kids are older than I expected."

He reached down, blindly fishing for another drumstick from the bucket of them next to his kit. 

He came up empty. 

"Hey Grantman." Gareth asked, tone changing to something mildly embarrassed. "Could I uh, could I get the drumstick back?" 

He got a flat stare back. "No." 

"What did I do to get stuck with such dramatic friends?" Jeff joked as he began moving all the amps he’d pulled in back into their usual places. 

They hadn't had time to unload anything other than the drums after their last show and the regret was real. 

"Eddie’s been standing on tables since seventh grade, you knew what you were getting into." Gareth fired back, making grabby hands for his drumstick. 

"And you never grew out of being that dorky middle schooler who snuck into Hellfire games and screamed we were all going to die every time anyone made a bad play." Jeff shot back. "Yet here I am, once again wondering if I should just permanently confiscate Eddie's snacks, your drumsticks, and now Harrington's fricken spatula." 

"One year. I am one year younger than you and you act like it's an entire century!" Gareth muttered, as Grant relented and leaned over to fetch said drumstick. 

"We all know Eddie chucks food at people, but what'd Steve do with a spatula?"  Grant asked as he tossed it back to Gareth.

He missed and nearly took out a cymbal in the process. 

"He had a snit while we were making chocolate roulade cause it wouldn’t roll right. Flung the spatula around so much it splattered whip cream on his ceiling." Jeff shook his head as he finished hooking an amp up to his guitar. "I had to rescue it from him." 

"His ceiling?" Gareth said in disbelief. "Wait, you were in Harrington’s kitchen?" 

"Yeah?" Jeff looked up to find his friends staring at him. 

Grant blinked. "The fuck?" 

“Can we just play?” Jeff complained, just as embarrassed as Gareth had been.

“No.” Gareth said, retrieved drumstick nearly falling from his hands in shock. “You don’t get to casually drop that you went to Harrington’s house to help him bake and then try to get us to play right after!” 

Jeff, who had done exactly that, blushed, skin darkening as he fiddled with his guitar.

“It wasn’t a big deal.” He said finally with a shrug, as if this was something he did all the time and not the groundbreaking revelation that it was.

“Did you meet his parents?” Grant said, sitting up from the couch. “What did his house look like?”

Jeff finally gave up the pretense of playing his instrument.

“I didn't, and it was kinda sad, actually.” He said, as if he didn’t live for this kind of shit. 

Gareth knew better than anyone how much of a fricken gossip Jeff could be. 

“His house was enormous. I only saw the first floor, and his kitchen is huge.” He set his hands apart at a good distance, showcasing just how large “huge” was, before continuing. 

“But it was weird. It was like a model home. No pictures on the walls, no art, no personality to the place at all.” 

“What are we talking about?” Eddie asked, finally returning to Gareth’s garage from where he’d been gathering up all the wires they’d thrown haphazardly into his van. 

“Jeff went to Harrington’s house.” Grant and Gareth tattled as one. 

“To help bake stuff for this Friday!” Jeff defended, the blush creeping back onto his face. “I was curious about his chocolate roulade recipe and he invited me over!” 

“When was this?” Eddie asked, staring at Jeff like he’d grown a second head. 

Or more likely, Gareth knew, in jealousy. But he wasn’t going to call Eddie out on that just yet. 

“Yesterday. We got to talking about it in the parking lot after school.” Jeff said with an embarrassed shrug. “He said he wasn’t the best at explaining how to do things and that he’d rather show me instead.” 

“Kinky.” Grant deadpanned, making Jeff sputter. 

“You sure you didn’t see his bedroom, Jeff? It’s okay if you fell for the ‘wanna see my music collection’ line. We won’t judge you.” Gareth waggled his eyebrows, ducking with a laugh when Jeff went to whack him. 

“Shut up, we just made the chocolate roulade!” Jeff’s ears were red now, and huh, maybe Eddie wasn’t the only person with a crush.  

“Guys.” Eddie reprimanded, tone warning. 

“Sorry Eds, you know we don’t mean it.” Gareth soothed. Of course, his best friend's anger was less about the gay comments or Steve’s reputation as Hawkin’s man whore than it was about Steve fucking Jeff (and not Eddie) but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be appreciated if he pointed that out either. 

Eddie didn’t respond, eyes already back on Jeff. "Details, Jeffery, give us the details!"  

He dropped onto the couch, flapping his hands at Jeff in his version of a "sit down" gesture. 

Jeff sighed, but repeated what he'd just said for Eddie as he took a seat on the edge of an amp, placing his guitar down gently. 

 "I think Wayne was right. I don't think anyone else lives there but Steve. Not full-time anyway." He finished. 

Which sounded like the best fucking thing ever until Gareth thought about it for more than two seconds. 

Tried to imagine what his life would be like if his parents and siblings were gone. Not for a day, or even a weekend, but always. 

How silent his normally loud house would be. 

Thought instantly that he'd be inviting Eddie, his friends, and hell, l even Wayne, over as often as they could handle. 

"The way he looked when I showed up, and how quiet he got when I left I just…" Jeff fiddled with his guitar’s strap. "I think he's lonely." 

The four of them sat in silence for a long moment as they digested that. 

“Hargrove kicked his ass right? And Byers?” Grant said finally, breaking the silence ad he stared up at the ceiling. 

“Old news.” Eddie replied absently, jiggling his leg.

“You think his parents were around for that?” Grant continued, slowly.

No one answered outside of Eddie's leg loudly jiggling faster. 

 "Did you see the kids hug him or anything?"

"They're like thirteen. I seriously doubt they're pestering Steve for hugs." Gareth answered flatly.  

 "So he got his ass kicked, his parents are gone, he was supposed involved in that whole has leak thing…" Grant trailed off with an air of someone who expected the end of his sentence to be obvious. 

“You’re doing that thing again where you think what you’re saying is obvious and its fucking not.” Eddie grumped. "Just spit it out." 

His friend's head finally tipped back down from the ceiling, to face the rest of them. “Maybe the flinching is because no one ever touches him anymore unless it’s to kick his ass.” 

“Oh.” Eddie blinked, body going rigid. “Oh shit.” 

“That…would make sense. A lot of sense.” Jeff said slowly. 

Grant put on a face that read “Duh” loud and clear. 

“So what do we do about it?" Gareth asked after a moment. 

"Touch him, obviously." Grant replied, like he couldn't believe the drummer was even asking.

Gareth and Eddie shared a look while Eddie rolled his eyes.  

"The guy almost fell down the stairs last time I tried that." Gareth pointed out. 

Never mind any other time Steve got weird over the lightest of touches. Eddie couldn't even clap the guy on the shoulder without getting major side-eye. 

"No."  Eddie cut in, sitting up suddenly. His eyes had gone bright, "We're going to trick him into it." 

"We're going to trick Harrington into being okay with, what? Shoulder pats?"  Gareth echoed, like Eddie might hear himself if his words were repeated back to him. “You realize how stupid that sounds right?" 

"Shut up, listen. It's like getting a stray to trust you. You just gotta be calm and so obvious about it that they get confused and let it happen." Eddie had begun practically vibrating, causing his friends to trade uneasy glances. 

They knew that look. Eddie only got it when he thought up a plan that was going to cause problems. 

"Eddie, that makes zero sense." Jeff told him.

Gareth just shook his head, because only Eddie Munson could compare Hawkins golden boy with a fucking stray animal. 

Even if the guy kinda acted like one sometimes. 

"I just need an opening." Eddie continued, the little hamster wheel spinning in his head so fast the rest of the band could almost hear it. 

If Gareth had been told two months ago he was going to be sitting in his garage, discussing the best way to acclimate Steve Harrington to casual touch, he’d have actually smacked whatever idiot dared spew such nonsense with his drumsticks. 

"I did tell tell the kids today you were making him a D&D character." He said, before his best friend could truly go off on some half cocked plot. 

Eddie lit up like a kid on Christmas. "Gary, I could kiss you."

Gareth made a face. "Please don't."

He clapped hard before springing to his feet. "Huddle up boys, I've got a plan." 

"God help us all." Jeff muttered. 

(He huddled up anyway, any thoughts of playing guitar that night fully forgotten.) 

Bonus: 

"Why don't you just get high and watch a movie with Steve? You're a fucking cling-on when you're high." Gareth complained the next morning, when Eddie swung by to pick him up for school. 

Mostly because the plan Eddie had come up with was ridiculous.

 Eddie took both hands off the wheel, pressing them against his chest in mock offense while he stared at Gareth and not at the street. “That would be taking advantage of him and I, as a gentleman, would never." He gasped, dramatically. 

In his normal voice, he added: "Plus it doesn't count." 

“Eyes on the road!” Gareth yelped, swatting an arm. “And you know I didn’t mean it like that. People relax more when they're high and maybe Steve needs something like that as an excuse to allow it. Hell he doesn’t even need to be high, just you.”

Which Gareth personally thought was a very insightful thing to say, so of course he had to ruin it with; “or whatever.” 

"Do you recall how you kissed Jeff on the cheek when you were high and then spent the entire next month swearing up and down that you weren't attracted to men last summer?" 

"That was different. I was discovering myself." 

Eddie outright cackled. "Discovering yourself? What self help book did you pick that gem out of?"

"I was quoting you, you moron!" Gareth sputtered. 

"If I said anything like that then I was definitely high and it just proves my point. Steve would just be uncomfortable."Eddie stuck his tongue out. "So there." 

"Fine." Gareth sighed. "If we ever get high with Harrington, I'll sit in his lap."

Eddie's eye twitched. "No you will not."

Thrilled to have something to tease the elder metalhead about, a smile graced Gareth's face. "In fact, I'm calling dibs." 

"You can't call dibs on a lap! And besides, you don't even like him like that!" 

"So?" Gareth retorted. "It's a nice lap, looks comfortable. You don't want it, so I'll take it."

Eddie grit his teeth, grasping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles went white. 

"I know what you're doing Gary. This is some bullshit reverse psychology shit and I will not be falling for it." 

"Oh contraire, this is sibling bullshit, Munson. You want it, so I want it." Gareth crossed his arms and looked at Eddie smugly. "And unless you do something about it, I'm getting it." 

"I hate you." 

Gareth grinned, delighted. "I know." 

[mattyriddlesbitch]

Any Kind of Guy

Mattheo Riddle, Theodore Nott, Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini x F!Reader

Warnings: Like two cuss words

Just a silly fic based off of 'Any Kind of Guy' by Big Time Rush. Like my longest fic too. 3.1k words.

The boys-Mattheo, Theodore, Lorenzo, Draco, and Blaise-as well as Pansy were sitting at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall during lunch, just eating and joking around. You noticed Pansy left her book in one of your classes together and walked over to the group to give it back to her. Of course, you knew about this Slytherin group, who didn’t at this point? But you never really talked to them before.

“Hey, Pans. You left this in Charms.” You said as you got closer, holding the book out for her.

“Oh, thanks, (Y/N). Completely spaced that.” She smiled as she took the book from you.

“No problem.” You smiled back.

“(Y/N) is it?” One of the boys spoke up, looking you up and down.

“Yes.” You gave him a small nod as you looked over at him.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lorenzo, or Enzo for cute girls.” He gave you a charming smile.

You gave him a look before looking over at Pansy, sharing a look with her.

“Ignore him. He’s an idiot. I’m Theodore.” The boy next to him said. He had a thick Italian accent.

“Hi, Theodore.” You smiled as you looked at him, finding this all amusing.

“Can’t you guys stop flirting with every girl you meet?” The boy on Theodore’s other side said as he gave the other two boys an annoyed look.

“I can’t introduce myself now?” Theodore retorted.

“No.” The boy rolled his eyes.

“You must be the famous Mattheo, huh?” You spoke up, interrupting this little back and forth.

The boy smiled as he looked over at you. “The one and only.”

“Uh huh. And obviously you’re Draco Malfoy.” You looked over at the blonde.

“Of course.” The blonde nodded with a smug smirk.

“And Blaise, right?” You said, pointing at the boy next to Draco.

“Yes, ma’am.” The boy said with a polite nod.

“Nice to finally meet you all. I’ve heard a lot about you guys.” You said, looking over the group.

“From Pansy?” Enzo asked.

“Mmm, from pretty much everyone.” You said, tilting your head to the side a little.

The boys all made their own faces of understanding. They couldn’t deny that their antics and families put them in the spotlight most of the time.

“I gotta get back to my other friends. Bye, Pans. I’ll see you in class.” You said, giving her a smile before walking away.

As soon as you’re out of earshot, the boys all turned to each other before trying to call ‘dibs’ or ‘I call her’ over each other.

“And you guys wonder why I never introduce you to my girl friends.” Pansy rolled her eyes before grabbing her bag and walking away from the boys.

The guys kept arguing, trying to talk over each other as she left.

“Okay, but she smiled at me!” Theodore said.

“Yeah, but she already knew my name!” Mattheo said, trying to speak over him.

“She knew mine too!” Draco threw his arms in the air.

“She knew all of our names, idiots.” Blaise said, sighing and shaking his head.

“She didn’t shoot me down when I flirted with her.” Enzo smiled as he leaned back in his seat, all smug.

“She didn’t flirt back, though.” Mattheo said, reaching around Theodore to shove Enzo.

Enzo reached over to shove him back. “Shut the f-”

“Guys!” Blaise called to get the two boys’ attention. They both stopped and looked at him. “Let’s do this more civilly. We shouldn’t be fighting like this over a girl.” The boys all nodded along, agreeing with Blaise.

“You guys can do your little kumbaya moment,” Mattheo said as he stood up, putting his bag strap over his shoulder. “I’m gonna go after her. Later, fuckers.” He smiled, flipping them off as he took off in your direction.

It was barely a second before Theo and Enzo were scrambling to their feet and following after him.

“They’re idiots.” Draco said to Blaise as he shook his head, going back to his food.

“Yeah, but they’re idiots who can definitely charm her.” Blaise mentioned before they both looked at each other. They both ditched their food, hurrying after the other three boys.

“What on Earth are you doing?” Theodore asked Mattheo as he caught him in the bathroom trading out his school robes for a leather jacket and messing up his hair.

“I am going to win over (Y/N).” Mattheo said as he finished shoving the school robes into his bag and fixing himself in the mirror.

“By looking like a prick?” Theo asked, amused as he leaned against the counter.

“I am going to stand out from you assholes by being a bad boy.” Mattheo smiled at him.

“That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

“You’re just jealous you didn’t come up with it.” Mattheo said as he put his bag strap over his shoulder. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” Mattheo walked past him out of the bathroom and looked around for you, earning odd stares from the other students at the new get up.

He finally found you as you were heading over to your charms class. He cut you off, leaning against the wall in front of you, making you stop in your tracks.

“Hey, (Y/N).” He said, smirking at you.

“Hi, Mattheo.” You said in an amused tone as you took in his outfit.

“What are you doing?” He asked, crossing his arms as he looked you up and down.

“Heading to class, like you should be doing.” You replied, crossing your arms over your chest as well. “What’s with the jacket?”

“This thing?” He asked, grabbing the leather jacket. “I’ve had this forever. I always wear this when I’m not wearing the dumb uniform.”

“Uh huh.” You said with an amused tone.

“Do you like it?” He asked, still smirking at you.

“Sure. It’s not bad.” You shrugged. “Is that the reason you stopped me? To ask if I liked your jacket?”

“Well, actually, I was thinking we could skip class instead. Maybe go down to the Black Lake and relax.” He took a step closer to you.

“You want me to skip class with you?” You asked and he nodded. “I don’t skip class. And I don’t like guys who do. I don’t like the bad boy type.” You smiled at him.

“Aw, come on. You’d have fun. It’s just one class.” He pressured you.

“Bye, Mattheo.” You said as you walked around him and headed into your class.

“And you thought my idea as stupid.” Mattheo teased as Theo got ready.

He made sure his outfit was all ironed and his hair was styled neatly, even spraying on his nice cologne.

“She said she didn’t like bad boys, so I’m going the opposite way.” Theo said, straightening out his outfit in the mirror.

“A loser?” Enzo asked on the other side of the dorm.

“A good boy. And if that’s what she’s into, I will be that for her.” He said, grabbing his bag. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” He said, mimicking Mattheo from the previous day as he walked out of his dorm.

This time, you were in the courtyard doing homework with Pansy before classes.

“Hey, ladies.” He said as he approached you, making you both look up at him. “Doing homework? Mind if I join you? I always like to make sure to finish all my assignments on time.”

“We’re actually almost done, Theodore.” You smiled at him, trying not to laugh with Pansy at how he was acting.

“Would you mind if I walked you to class then, (Y/N)? I always think a lady should never walk alone.” He offered, giving you a charming smile in return.

“I’m already walking with Pansy since we have that class together. Maybe you should walk with Mattheo. He seems to have some attendance issues.” You said teasingly as Pansy chuckled into her book.

“You’re making fun of me.” Theodore scoffed, but smiled.

“No, I just…” You chuckled with Pansy for a second. “It’s sweet of you to offer, but I’m not into this whole…thing.” You said, gesturing to him.

“What thing?”

“The good boy thing. I’m not into that.” You shrugged. “We should go, Pansy. Class is about to start.” You said, collecting your stuff and standing up, Pansy following your lead. “See you later, Theodore.”

“See you later, (Y/N).” He smiled at you as you walked away.

“She just wants someone in the middle. Not too good, nor too bad. Middle-ground. Jock.” Enzo explained to the other boys as they spotted you in the corridors talking with your friends.

“How is a jock in the middle?” Blaise asked, the only one seeming unamused by the other boy’s antics.

“Well, I mean, they gotta behave or they get kicked off the team, so they behave in class, but, you know, do the bad boy stuff where they can’t get in trouble. Middle-ground.” Enzo said and the other boys just laughed or rolled their eyes.

“What do you know about sports?” Mattheo asked as he looked at the boy in disbelief.

“Um, just about everything I learned from this.” Enzo retorted, tossing a book at the brunette, who caught it with ease.

“‘Quidditch Through the Ages’, really?” Mattheo said, looking at the cover of the book.

“Hey, it’s not a bad book.” Theodore said.

“You’re both stupid.” Mattheo rolled his eyes.

“You’re not a jock. She’ll see right through it.” Draco said.

“She won’t. I studied up.” Enzo said.

“It won’t work.” Draco shook his head.

“It’ll work.” Enzo said with a smile. “Watch and learn.” He said as we walked backwards towards you before spinning around to face you. He walked up and put his arm around your shoulder casually, making you look up at him. “Hi, (Y/N). How are you doing today?” He asked with his sweet smile.

“I’m fine.” You said, pushing his arm off your shoulder. “How are you doing, Lorenzo?”

The use of his full name instead of his nickname and you pushing his arm made his head tilt slightly. “I’m good. Hey, are you planning on going to the quidditch game tonight?”

“I’m not sure yet. Depends on if I can finish all my assignments before the game.” You said, looking back to your friends briefly before looking back at him.

“Oh, don’t be so boring. You can do them afterwards. You should come join me, it’ll be a lot of fun.”He said, still smiling at you.

“Standing in the cold for an hour as we watch people fly on brooms and chase a ball type thing doesn’t sound like my kind of fun.” You said, waiting for his reaction.

He raised his eyebrows, not expecting that. “How about an after party that the Slytherins throw?” He said, quickly recovering.

“Sometimes.”

Your friend called your name after walking away and noticing you didn’t follow.

“Have fun, Enzo.” You said before catching up to her.

Enzo watched you for a moment before hearing the other boys laugh at him and he looked over at them, rolling his eyes before walking off.

“Finally.” Draco said as he, Blaise and Theo sat at one of the tables in the library.

“What?” Blaise asked as he looked up from his homework to look at him.

“She finally picked out a potions book.” Draco said, his eyes on you across the library as you found a seat at one of the other tables.

“So?” Theodore asked, folding his extra parchment into a bird instead of doing the work.

“I excel at potions. I can go help her. Maybe she’s into smart guys.” Draco said, looking back at the two boys.

“Oh, I can’t wait to see you fail.” Theo laughed.

“I won't fail.” Draco scoffed.

“Let’s see it then.” Blaise said, smiling at Draco.

“Fine.” Draco stood up, walking over to you. You were immersed in the book and your work. It was actually the first time he saw you alone, so he definitely wanted to take advantage of that.

He stopped next to your table, leaning his hip against the edge. “Working on something for Potions?”

You looked up to see him smiling slightly at you. “Yeah. Just that paper Professor Snape assigned.” You said, looking back down at the book.

“Well, if you need any help, I’m very good at potions. I always get perfect marks in his class.” Draco said, not ready to have your attention taken away from him.

“Oh, you do?” You asked, looking back up at him.

“Yes, I do. And I’ve already finished the paper. So if you need any help, you can always let me know. I do pretty well in the other classes too, but I do the best in potions.” He said, his voice and smile turning smug.

“Interesting. I didn’t take you to actually do well in classes. I’ve always heard you mouth off in them.” You said, leaning back in the chair to give him your full attention.

He chuckled at your comment. “That doesn’t mean I’m not smart.” 

“No, I suppose it doesn’t.” You admitted.

“Is there anything I might be able to help you with?” He asked, looking at the page you had the book opened to.

“Uh, yeah, actually. You can help by going back to your little friends. I don’t need help from a know-it-all. I can do this on my own.” You said with a smile.

He gave you a shocked expression, clearly not expecting the rejection. He cleared his throat before speaking. “Fair enough. You seem smart enough to do your own work. Offer still stands though.” He said, pushing off the table to go back to his friends.

Blaise’s idea was a little more discreet. Now, you already said you didn’t like bad boys, good boys, jocks, nerds, what was left? Blaise had to think about it and he realized the last thing he could try was being artistic. Which he wasn’t. So he stole Mattheo’s sketchbook and sat by the lake after he heard you say you were planning on taking a walk out there to your friends.

He pretended to draw in the book, keeping the pages facing him so you couldn’t tell when you approached. He glanced up when he saw you walking, giving you a warm smile. “Hey, (Y/N).”

You looked over at him, giving him a smile back as you stopped in front of him. “Oh, hey, Blaise. What are you doing?”

He closed the sketchbook and leaned back on his hands, ignoring the way the grass poked his palms. “Oh, I was just drawing. It relaxes me.”

“Right.” You said, glancing at the sketchbook before looking around. “It is rather beautiful out here. I see why you’d come here to draw.” 

“Yeah, it’s calm and not too many people come out here.” He nodded, watching you look around before looking back at him. “I like drawing the…nature around here.” He gestured vaguely.

“Really? I would think you’d draw something more complicated than some trees.” You said playfully. 

“I do. Sometimes. It’s just the trees are easy, so it’s like a mindless activity for me to do to clear my mind.” He said, trying to make up something to impress you on the spot.

“Oh, okay. Would you mind showing me something?” You said, pointing at the sketchbook in his lap.

“Oh, I don’t share my drawings. They’re kinda just for me.” He said, putting a hand over the cover.

“Okay.” You said with an awkward chuckle. “I swear I’ve seen Mattheo with a book just like that. Do you both have the same one?”

“Oh, yeah, he saw mine and wanted the same one.” He lied, nodding.

“Makes sense.” You nodded too for a moment. “Is that why it has an ‘MR’ on the front?” You asked with a smile.

“What?” He asked, moving his hand to look at the sketchbook, seeing the ‘MR’ Mattheo put in the corner. “Damn, we must have gotten ours switched.”

You chuckled at that, understanding he was lying, but didn’t say anything. Yet. “Well, hopefully one day you’ll show me your drawings. Have fun with them.” You said before continuing your walk.

The boys had been after you for weeks and you were fed up. You finally snapped when they were all hanging out in the courtyard, watching you do some classwork and you could hear them talking about you. You stood up and walked over to them. The boys quickly looked away and shut up as they saw you approaching.

“Alright. I know what you guys are doing. You’re not as discreet as you guys think.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What are you talking about?” Mattheo asked, being the only one who would look at you now.

“I’m talking about you guys putting on these acts to get with me. You don’t know what my type is so you guys are trying different things to win me over, but none of you are being yourselves. It was funny at the start, but now it’s just getting ridiculous.” You said, giving Mattheo an unamused look.

“You’re not gonna give any of us a chance?” Enzo asked, looking over at you now.

“Not if you guys are being stupid. I know you’re not a jock. You haven’t even tried out for the quidditch team. Blaise, I know you don’t draw. You just stole Mattheo’s book.” You said, looking between the two boys you addressed.

“You what?” Mattheo turned to Blaise.

“I wouldn’t start with him. I know you’re going overboard with the ‘bad boy’ persona.” You said, getting his attention. “And Draco, I know you’re smart, but you’re not the nerdy, know-it-all type you’re playing.” You said, turning your attention to the blonde. “And lastly, Theo, I know you’re going over the top with being nice and chivalrous. It’s cute, but I know you’re a player.” You said to Theo before nodding. “I think that addresses it all.”

“So if we act like ourselves you might give one of us a chance?” Draco asked.

“Is that all you guys took away from that?” You shook your head in disbelief. The boys just shrugged and muttered little ‘yes’s. “Unbelievable.” You said before going back to where your classwork was.

“That didn’t answer the question!” Mattheo called out to you before the boys moved to follow you.

[hyukalyptus]

nsfw alphabet - yeonjun :) - can't stop thinking about yeonjun today so let's do an nsfw alphabet for him~ tried to make as gn! as possible.

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex) - omg y'all know i'm a softie all day long, but especially with yeonjun and smut. so obviously i think he's the softest, clingiest lil fucker after sex. but like slow and sensual, asks u to take a shower with him, won't take his hands off you, washes ur body for you, gentle kisses on ur shoulders. slow dances with no music playing.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) - favorite body part on himself is obviously his arms, literally never not trying to not-so-subtly show them off when he's "just stretching." ofc his favorite body part on you is ur ass. no matter the size or shape. never stops grabbing, smacking, or biting it.

c = cum (anything to do with cum) - similarly to the last one, loves cumming on ur ass more than anywhere else (other than inside you ofc).

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) - desperately wants to be pegged.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) - may be an unpopular opinion, but i'd say he's not super duper experienced. not like he doesn't know what he's doing, but he definitely gives me weirdo loser vibes and just awkward asking anyone out, or like fr being hit on, not just being flirty. he can be flirty all day long, but as soon as it gets real, he panics. still knows what he's doing though. very aware of how to move his body to make you feel incredible.

f = favorite position - doggy :D

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) - he's typically serious and romantic, but definitely not afraid to be silly goofy in the moment, giggling with you about lil bumps in the road, like if u hit ur head a lil too hard on the headboard.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) - lord i hope he's hairy, but if i were to guess fr, i'd say pretty trimme. i think he thinks his happy trail is sexy so he keeps it, but trims his bush so it doesnt get too sweaty ig?

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) - again, y'all know how im gonna answer this. romantic as fuck! literally wants to shower ur body in kisses and love and wants to show u how much he loves u and ur body. never not whispering compliments. could worship your body for hours and hours.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon) - steals ur underwear from the hamper to sniff while he jerks off in the shower :3

k = kink (one or more of their kinks) - eating ass, body scents (smelling ur underwear), wax play.

l = location (favorite places to do the do) - the bed, couch when he's feelin lazy, car occasionally when he just can't wait until u get home.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) - oh my god the little things. running ur fingers through ur hair, scrunching ur nose to push ur glasses up, calling him a nickname, the sounds u make when u stretch in the morning.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) - i don't think he'd like being edged. not like, he doesn't last long, but like doesn't wanna edge for a while? ykwim?

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) - loooooves giving. he's just incredible w his tongue. especially loves eating ass. definitely wouldn't say no to a bj tho.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) - SOFT AND SLOW ALL DAY!! definitely willing to go a lil fast and rough if he gets carried away, but prefers soft n slow <3

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) - likes a quickie every now and then when he's super busy. y'all esp love a good mutmast sesh.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) - absolutely! feels so safe w u and does everything he can to make u feel safe with him, neither of u are afraid to call it quits when something gets uncomfy. but loves trying new things.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) - i think he lasts a loong time tbh, but doesn't go for many rounds himself. probably makes u cum a couple times if ur up for it, but once he cums, he's ready to cuddle n be all romantic n touchy.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) - toy aficionado. and i'd love to talk more about this if y'all are interested. probably uses some kind of toy every time y'all fuck, whether its a vibrator or dildo, or a plug he uses on ya. for himself, he loves a good prostate massager when he's fucking you or a good ole pocket pussy when he's by himself.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease) - would tease you for hours and hours. but, again, more in the romantic way. like kisses around ur nipples for EVER before actually licking them. drags his fingers across your body before actually touching you with his whole hand.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) - whiny and grunty, normal volume. isn't afraid to tell you how good you feel over and over.

w = wild card (a random headcanon) - obsessed with marking you. loves giving you hickeys but ALSO, loves literally writing his name on ur ass with a sharpie so u don't forget ur his.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) - i gotta say, i feel like he's pretty average. like 5 inches? probably not too girthy either.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?) - mmm...i'd say he probably cums once a day, whether its with u or jorkin it. i don't think its an unreasonable amount of horny, but could probably fuck u whenever you wanted.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) - not too quick. like i said, he loves snuggling afterward and it might turn into a nap. but also as the king of aftercare, he's usually starting a shower for you two or making you tea, or getting a fresh pillowcase.

[devil-in-hiding]

I have some silly ghostprice

john is hairy we been knew. simon loves it and especially loves his bush.

simon deepthroating john, drooling and eyerolling and fucked stupid. pulls back to kitten lick his tip but instead has to pull a couple pubes out of his mouth. does the little dry spitting thing because he has at least one stuck on the roof of his mouth and the back of his teeth

!!!!! THIS WOULD BE THEIR FIRST GOOFY SEX MOMENT IM SOBBING

They’re both cock drunk, John groaning and panting like a beast as his head lolls back, hand on the back of Simon’s head, not guiding but just encouraging.

He feels Simon pulls back, expecting the kitten licks, just to hear a gag and then a cough, eyes flying open to stare down as Simon pulls a face, sticking out his tongue

and John snorts, loud and happy , eyes crinkling as Simon grins up at him after turning and spitting into the trash can besides John’s bed

“Hairy fucker.”

“Mmm, I can keep ya nice and warm.”

“I have something else you can keep warm.”

[anotherbananasong]

Hunter the Hunted

This is a loooonnnng post, so it’s going under the “read more” lol… I was going to break it into parts, but it didn’t flow right. So one long mental image at once, lol.

The Ancients go out for some hunting, but their fun is interrupted.

Alpha: (crouching lower, his eyes never leaving the deer) You come around from downwind…

Air: (watching intently as well) Downwind…

Alpha: She hasn’t noticed our cold yet… We may still have the advantage.

Air: (nods and moves to leave) Downwind… (silently begins to pick his way through the brush. stations himself downwind and waits for the cue. takes off in a sprint when he hears Alpha’s low whistle, but is met with a bodily thud that knocks him right off his feet. he squeals and begins to giggle as their two bodies roll with the landing)

Alpha: (rising from his crouch, watching the deer bolt) Damn it you two!

Earth: (laughing as he pins Air to the ground) That’s four for me tonight, skybird, and only two for you!

Alpha: (approaching the ghouls on the ground) I’m about to have two T.K.O.s if you fuckers don’t knock this bullshit off. (narrowing his eyes as the mated pair finally look to him) We’re out here to hunt, not play silly games.

Earth: (rolling his eyes at Alpha as Air nuzzles his neck, still pinned beneath him) Hunting is playing.

Alpha: (spits on the ground in annoyance) If you two can’t take this seriously, go back to the Ministry.

Air: (sitting up at last, giggling at Earth’s playful nip at his collarbone) We’re ruining his fun, my heart.

Alpha: And don’t start with the lovey, bullshit nicknames.

Earth: (helping Air to his feet) They’re terms of endearment.

Alpha: Spare me. (looks off in the direction the deer took) Your little game is over. We’re here to hunt. If you don’t want to— (is knocked off his feet with another bodily thud)

Earth: (smiling as he watches River pin Alpha) I saw him coming; I just wanted to see where you were going with that.

Alpha: (face in the dirt) Why.

River: (climbing off Alpha’s back) They made it look fun!

Omega: (coming up from behind, blood on his hands and face) You guys haven’t caught anything yet?

Alpha: (sitting up) Not with these two idiots— (a sudden bang silences him)

Omega: (hits the ground, laying low)

Earth: (pulls Air to the ground, looking around) Gunshots…

Omega: (looking around with the second bang) Humans.

Alpha: Why are they so far north?

Earth: (pulling Air closer in a protective embrace) Hunters… Where are they, skybird?

Air: (tilts his head upward, trying to catch a whiff) I don’t know… They’re downwind. (looks to Earth) They might catch our scent…

Earth: (shifts himself to press his head to the ground, trying to listen. brings a hand beside his face, sliding his fingertips into the dirt as Air puts a protective arm around him) … (lifts his head from the ground, embracing Air again) I can’t hear them… They must be far off.

Omega: Back to the Ministry. Quietly.

Alpha: (growling) So we let humans chase us off? This is our territory; I say we hunt them.

Omega: (firmly) Back to the Ministry.

Alpha: (hisses, but rises with the others)

Earth: (places a hand under Air’s chin) Take to the trees.

Air: (whimpers) But what about you?

Earth: Take to the trees. It’s safer. And you can watch for them.

Air: (nods slowly, squeezing Earth’s hand) Be careful…

Omega: Save your affections for the Ministry; we need to move.

Air: (places a soft kiss on Earth’s lips, then hazes up to the treetops)

Alpha: (with a protective growl as he rubs the tearful River’s shoulder) Don’t be scared. We’ll make it back.

The fifteen-mile trek back to the Ministry is slower than usual, but the gunshots grow more distant, and Air reports no sighting of the humans. Alpha is grumpy that he didn’t get a good kill in, but is secretly relieved that his pack made it home safely. It’s nearly sunrise when they reach the catacombs. Earth and Air separate to Earth’s room for some comfort love-making, and the other three opt for a cuddle pile in their shared space. They don’t get to hunt together often — especially with the clergy’s insistence that it’s too risky if the bigger ghouls are caught — and they’re all a little sad that their fun was interrupted the way it was.

The first thing Air did was slip on a corset. They’re all shook up from the experience, both from the near-encounter with the hunters, but also what will happen if the clergy finds out about it.

(if you’re still here, thanks for sitting through this sloppy, stupid little blurb; now go find a better artist to follow)

[anonymous-dentist]

So here’s what happened:

It’s late November, and Roier has finally managed to find his husband’s location on Purgatory using his computer. He gets Pac and Mike to help him fix up the boat (that looks a lot like Cellbit’s shoes.) They adore Roier, so they don’t want him to go alone. They tell Richarlyson to stay with Bagi while they go help Roier, and, of course, Richarlyson tells Bagi, and she follows them onto the boat because she is NOT letting all of them go and get killed without her! Her brother is on that island! Richarlyson comes, too, because he’s a stubborn little fucker. And Felps is asleep on the ship already, anyway: in the ship’s walk-in freezer.

But who else is on the island? That’s right, Baghera. And so Pomme says she’s going, too. Not wanting her to go alone, and not wanting his bro to get killed, Etoiles comes along. With him comes Antoine, who’s sick of Cucurucho’s bullshit. And Pierre comes, too, because he actually liked Purgatory.

They all get to the island and pick up Cellbit and Baghera… quite literally, because they’re in disbelief that people came to save them.

Once everybody’s safe and on the ship, Pierre, who’s driving, realizes that they can just. Go now. They’re on a boat! They can just go!

So they do.

And that’s how the Brazilians (and their honorary Brazilian) and the French leave Quesadilla Island and make it home safe and sound.

(Later, there’s a prison break. The remaining islanders are running towards the beach, including Fit and Tina, and the guards are right behind them, and who shows up but Brazil’s most famous prison escape artists: Tazer e Craft and the silly little raccoon steering their boat.)

The End.

[ghostgirl-22]

Wanna ride that wave

18+ !NSFW!

Day 5: Edging (y’all it might be orgasm denial… idk)

___________________________________

Dealing with this Patrick thinks he deserves some kind of award. And no, not a trophy. He’s got plenty of those. No, he deserves sainthood actually.

It’s late summer and they’re bored enough to mess around. He’s barely dressed and lying on his bedroom floor with Art on top of him. Art’s touching his face, kissing him and he’s such a ridiculous kisser. He’s orally fixated so he’s using his tongue to search every bit of Patrick’s mouth for stimulation, which leads to him moaning, gasping just for the feeling of it. It drives Patrick insane. And when he’s feeling really silly he’ll move his hips and grind, chasing his own orgasm. He always comes first which usually… Patrick makes fun of…but tonight it’s working in his favor. Art can feel how eager Patrick is so he slows down. He sits up and looks over at the door. “Sorry, I thought I heard someone,” Art whispers.

Patrick groans. The little fucker has already come twice. He’s doing all of this to torture Patrick.

“No one is home,” Patrick says, he shifts his hips but Art doesn’t give him anything, he just sits up on his knees, taking away the friction so Patrick has to thrust into air.

People think he’s sweet and innocent, Patrick’s own mother says crazy stuff like, don’t be mean to that sweet boy. No one else knows that he’s evil.

Art looks down at him and smiles. “Whoops, I coulda sworn I heard a noise.” Art knows Patricks parents are out of town and his big brother won’t be home till midnight. He could literally stretch this out for hours if he felt like it.

Patrick reaches for him, trying to get him to sit back on his lap but he doesn’t come. He’s got Patrick circling the edge of it just because he can.

“I wanna lie on the bed,” Art says.

“Okay, fuck it, let’s get on the bed,” Patrick says, pushing himself up. Whatever he needs to do to get off.

Art watches him get up.

“Wait maybe…” he says and Patrick lingers. Art is still sitting on the floor. Pretty boy. Patrick wants to strangle him. “I’m hungry, do you have any more candy?” Art asks.

“Yeah, you can put this in your mouth,” Patrick says, gesturing at the tent of his boxers.

Art settles cross-legged on the floor and leans back on his hands grinning up at him. “Mm, I want something sweet to suck on.” He plays with his tongue in his mouth.

Patrick takes a deep breath and tangles his fingers into Art’s hair. “You promised you would as long as I didn’t touch myself.”

“I will,” Art says softly. “When I’m ready.”

He knows Art’s trying to get out of the promise by making it impossible for Patrick not to touch himself but Patrick’s just as competitive as Art is. Unfortunately, Art’s manipulative side is also a fucking turn on for him.

“Fuck,” Patrick sighs.

“You’re so obsessed,” Art grins. “All this cause I said I’d put it in my mouth. I feel like you’d do anything I say if I promised you could put it in my ass,” He sighs and uncrosses his legs, drawing his knees up.

Patrick hates how right he is and he gets back on his knees and crawls between Art’s legs. “Can I put it in your ass?”

“Yeah,” Art smiles, “when you close your eyes and dream.”

Patrick takes a breath. “I’m going crazy.”

”So touch yourself,” Art shrugs, resting his head on his shoulder. “I’ll watch.”

“I can do that anytime, I wanna feel you,” Patrick whispers.

“Obsessed,” Art smirks.

Patrick kisses him and Art lets him do it. He only stops when Patrick tries to push him on the ground and get on top of him. Art licks his lips and Patrick sighs, breathing less than an inch away from his mouth.

“You just wanna fuck me so bad,” Art whispers.

“So bad,” Patrick agrees.

Art smiles and kisses him again, slowly. He moves to get on Patrick’s lap again and Patrick moves to accommodate him. The weight of him feels like a relief. He’s moving immediately and it’s like Patrick isn’t starting at zero but he has to work his way up to where he was. Art’s kissing him and kissing him and kissing him all while squirming in his lap and just when Patrick is back… when he’s riding the knifes edge of orgasm desperate to fall over…that’s when Art stops him again.

“Fuck me,” Patrick groans loudly resting his forehead against Art’s. “Are you fucking serious?” He says breathlessly, helplessly.

“Mm actually I think I wanna be on the bed, my knees hurt.” Art says getting to his feet. He’s the devil actually.

Patrick sighs and flops back on the ground, more sexually frustrated than he’s ever been. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty.”

[proton-wobbler]

Backyard Bird-Off - US Edition (poll 4)

Reasons for Submission

Greater Roadrunner: one time I thought my neighbor had gotten a bag of pine cones delivered but it was actually just a roadrunner sunning himself ♥️

Tree Swallow:

I just think they’re neat. A pair nested in our neighbors yard this year and it was really fun watching em.

My spark bird! I love them so much, the way they squeak and talk to each other is so cute!

Dark-eyed Junco (Oregon morph):

MY FAVOURITEST BIRD EVER IN THE WORLD. SOOO SPECIAL TO ME I LOVE THESE GUYS MY LITTLE MESSENGERS. I'VE WRITTEN WHOLE ESSAYS ABOUT THESE LITTLE THINGS. THEY ARE THE REMINDERS OF HOPE AND JOY IN THE COLD WINTER. THEY KINDA SAVED MY LIFE BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER STORY. THEY ARE SOOOO SO SO SO SO SPECIAL TO ME FORVER AND ALWAYS WHEN I DIE ILL COME BACK AS ONE OF THESE SILLY LITTLE FUCKERS. I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!

I love to see them in the winter! They are my friends and children.

Black-capped Chickadee: They are so cute : ]

Image Sources: (Black-capped Chickadee) Suzanne Labbe; (Tree Swallow) Brad Imhoff; (Dark-eyed Junco - Oregon) Ryan Shaw; (Greater Roadrunner) Jim Merritt

[heavenlyakin]

Bluelock Tinder Hookup Series: Rin Itoshi

wc: 2520

Warnings: a little ooc for Sae I think, fem reader, use of “brat,” “slut,” and “princess,” spitting, fingering, orgasm denial, and kitchen sex.

Description: Hookup #1 in my latest series. College AU Tinder Hookup Series: starring Rin Itoshi. This is a nontraditional hookup and I hope you enjoy the story! This one is light and silly at first but of course, you get some steamy scenes. Also, if someone guesses what drink Rin makes, I’ll write you something!

The man who sits across from you is not who’s picture you’d been looking at for the last few days. His red hair is definitely not the dark green you’d been expecting, and his features, except his strikingly familiar eyes, are all wrong. 

“You’re not Rin,” you say softly, leaning forward on the table with your elbows. 

“Correct. I’m Sae,” his tone is colder than you expected. “Why’d you want to match with my brother?” 

You laugh, put off by the abruptness of his question. “Why is it any of your business? Where is he? How’d you know I was meeting him here?” 

“Oh, I run his Tinder. He wouldn’t be caught dead in that cesspool. I just like to fuck with people.” He admits, leaning forward. “You’re really pretty, though. So I’ll entertain you.” 

“You’re fucking weird,” you move away, sitting back in your seat and grabbing your purse from the ground. “But, do feel free to give your brother my regards.” 

Sae laughs, a smile plastered on his once bored expression. “Your loss,” he calls back as you walk away. 

Everything about that has triggered something in you. So much so that you delete the Tinder app from your phone. Your walk home is fine, but you find yourself looking behind you to make sure that creep isn’t following you home. He didn’t give you stalker vibes, but who the hell uses their brother to match with girls on Tinder? Especially when they’re that attractive on their own. It’s fucking twisted. 

When you check the time on your phone, you’re not spatially aware of your surroundings and run into someone at the end of a crosswalk. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid, I didn’t even see you in front of me and-” You look up and notice that it’s none other than the man you originally matched with on Tinder; Rin. 

“Watch where you’re going and this won’t happen.” He scoffs, wiping off his shirt. “Wait, are you —-.” 

“Yeah, why?” You look up at him towering over you. 

“You ghosted me today.” He frowns, looking unimpressed with your response. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You’re the girl from Tinder right.” He asks, quieter and looking around to see if anyone is listening to the both of you. 

“Yeah, actually I am. But I’m confused, your brother-” 

“What about my brother?” Anger flares in his voice.

“He met me where we were supposed to meet and I guess tried to flirt with me in some creepy way, and claimed he ran your Tinder account.” 

“What?” He looks shocked. 

“You two need to sort that out. I’m not playing games with either of you.” You start to walk away but Rin grabs your arm. 

“Can you please explain what happened?” He asks, and you nod. 

“Walk with me, we can get a drink at my place. I’ll tell you everything.” You begin walking towards your off-campus apartment and explain in detail what happened. It clearly wasn’t a lot but you can recall every word since it was just a few minutes ago. 

“We didn’t agree to meet at the student union though,” he frowns. 

“You changed it last minute, remember?” You say and he shakes his head no. “Check our messages. I got so mad at your stupid brother that I deleted the app. You’ll see that ten minutes before our date you messaged me to meet at the student union instead.” 

He pulls out his phone as you open the door to the lobby of your apartments. He notices and grabs the door above your head. “After you,” he says. 

You smile and lead him inside and to the elevator. “Well, did you see it?” 

He’s frowning at his phone as you press the button to your floor. “Yeah, but I didn't send this. That fucker must really have my login information.” 

“Yeah, you should change your password.” You comment, not really sure what to say. 

“No wonder I keep getting ghosted.” He sighs, putting his phone back in his pocket. “I’m going to kill him.” 

“You should. It’ll do society a favor.” You tease, nudging him with your elbow. 

He smiles, barely, but it’s there. “Yeah,” he agrees and looks up at the numbers changing above the elevator door. 

The elevator finally stops and you lead him to your apartment, opening the door and walking in before him. “Welcome to my humble abode,” you smile and let him walk in passed you so you can shut the door. 

“It’s nice. Reminds me of my place.” He tells you and stands awkwardly in the middle of your living room. 

“You can sit, make yourself comfortable.” You walk into the kitchen, grabbing some Moscato from your fridge and then you realize you don’t know what he drinks. “Do you like wine? I don’t have beer. Um, I have some vodka and tequila too…” you look through your liquor cabinet. “Oh, I have this gin too.” 

“Do you have lime juice and simple syrup?” He asks, walking over to your breakfast bar across from the cabinets. 

“I think so,” you look further in the fridge and find the simple syrup and a few limes. “I do! Thank god my old roommate was a bartender and left me all this.” 

“Oh, do you live alone now?” Rin asks as he starts to mix himself a drink. 

“As of a few days ago, yeah. She moved back home.” You take another sip of your wine, enjoying the sweet peachy flavor. 

“Ah,” he pours the drink into the glass you hand him after he’s done shaking the drink. He tasted it and buns softly, it must be good. 

“Can I have a taste?” You ask, curious about the drink. “Pretty please,” you bat your eyelashes for effect. 

He grins, shaking his head no. “It’s mine. No.” 

You walk around the breakfast bar, taking the glass from his hand quickly. “It’s my glass. My liquor.” 

He’s faster taking it back, then holding it up so you can’t reach it. “Brats don’t get what they want.” He challenges and your body heats up. 

Oh. 

“I just want a little taste,” you beg, pouting your bottom lip out. 

He takes another sip, his hand caressing your cheeks. As he swallows his thumb grazes across your lip, tugging it down to open your mouth. You oblige, parting your lips and letting him have his way. He takes another sip. 

In a blink of an eye his hand is squeezing your mouth open wider and he spits the drink into your mouth. Your eyes widen and you clench your fists, your body heating up more than before as you slowly swallow the slightly sweet and sour drink. He went heavy on the lime, you realize as it slides down your throat. 

“Good girl, swallowed without me even asking,” he pats your cheek with his fingers and you step closer to him. 

“I-” before you can finish your thought, Rin’s lips are on yours. The taste of his drink floods your mouth with his tongue. You reach for his shirt, grabbing the soft fabric and pulling yourself closer to him so your body is flush with his. 

His hands settle on your hips, pulling you against him, his cock hard under his pants and pressing against you. A moan slips past your lips against Rin’s. 

“Moaning already?” He pulls away, his right hand moving from your hip to your cheek, his thumb teasing your bottom lip again. “I’ve barely touched you, slut.” 

Something about the way the degradation slips past his pretty lips so effortlessly turns you on more.  “Can’t help it,” you shrug looking up at him. 

“I bet you’re soaking wet under those shorts.” He whispers next to your ear, his thumb pressing into your mouth. You close your lips around it and suck lightly. “Should I find out?” 

“Mmhm,” you hum around his thumb desperate for him to touch you. 

His left-hand moves from your hip, tugging your linen shorts open just enough so he can slip his hand in. You feel his fingertips tease the outline of your panties. You want to beg him to hurry up, but you also enjoy the teasing look in his beautiful teal eyes. He wants to drag this out, you realize. He finally presses his fingers against your clit through the thin fabric, and you whimper. 

“I was right,” he smirks, his fingers tracing slow circles as your thighs quiver slightly. “Soaking wet through your flimsy underwear.” 

You pop his thumb out of your mouth, grinning before speaking. “Didn’t expect a soccer player to be so good with his fingers,” his smirk turns to an intense frown. “Aw didn’t like that?” 

“I prefer you with your mouth full.” He tells you, pushing you back against the breakfast bar. His fingers slip into your underwear. 

“Fuck,” you whimper as his thumb teases your clit and his fingers start to enter you. 

“I like that sound as well,” he tells you, a small chuckle leaving his lips. 

Suddenly, he drops to his knees in front of you, pulling your shorts and panties down around your knees as he goes. You gasp and your fingers go right to his hair as he leans forward and his tongue swipes across your cunt. 

“Rin,” you gasp as he slips a finger in you as he sucks on your clit. His hair tangles in your fingers and you grip the breakfast bar with your free hand to steady yourself. He hums against you sending shivers down your legs. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,’ you moan, pulling his hair. 

His fingers pump into you faster while he continues lapping at you like you’re a meal he intends to devour. You throw your head back, letting yourself feel and enjoy every single sensation Rin blesses you with. It’s overwhelming and takes all your strength to stay standing still for him. His grip on your right thigh with his hand is intense, and probably going to leave a bruise. 

Just as you start to feel the familiar build of tension in your lower stomach and your body starts to shake, he pulls away abruptly. 

“Rin, what the fuck,” you gasp, catching your breath and staring down at him. 

He smiles, actually smiles at you. “Impatieny slut,” the words sound beautiful coming from that cruel mouth. 

Your body just wants more, more of him and his cruelty. He stands up, pulling you close and kissing you. The taste of yourself on his lips is erotic. You pull him closer with his belt loops, leaving just enough room for your hands to undo his belt and pants, unzipping the zipper next. 

“Want to go to my bedroom?” You ask as you slowly take his cock in your hand, stoking it once and then twice. 

“Who needs the bedroom? I could take you right here on this counter.” He tells you, his voice serious and rough. “Or do you need some pillows, princess? Can’t take the hard counters?” 

“I can take you, and that’s all that matters, right?” You squeeze his cock a bit tighter and he inhales sharply. “I’m desperate for you,” you put on the sexiest voice you can muster, almost making yourself laugh. 

“Oh shut up,” he mutters, closing his eyes as you continue jerking him off. “Turn around.” 

You let go of him, turning around as he ordered and bracing the breakfast bar with your hands and arms. You feel his hands on your ass before you hear the sound of his pants hitting the ground around his ankles. He cock grazes your ass and you wiggle it at him. 

“Stay still,” he grips you tightly and you feel the head of his cock prodding at your entrance. 

“Oh god,” you whimper as he thrusts inside of you slowly, allowing you to adjust to his size. He makes you feel so full, you’re unable to think of anything but him and his cock inside of you. He moans quietly, barely audible, but you catch it. 

He begins to thrust in and out of you, gripping your hips to keep you still as he fucks you. It’s intense, like him. Everything you imagined this moment might be like is completely shattered and blown away by the actuality of it all. 

“Harder,” you ask, breathless against the countertop and looking back at him as best as you can. 

He laughs, “You need more, princess? Fucking dirty slut.” 

Before today, you’ve never had someone bounce so effortlessly between sweet to cruel names for you and it’s doing something to your body. You don’t think you’ve ever been this aroused or needy for someone in your life. You feel that familiar tension building again, coming back from where Rin denied it earlier. Your body heats up and you try your best to keep from cumming now. 

“Go ahead and cum, princess.” Rin leans down, his body pressing against yours and pushing him deeper into you. “I can always make you cum again. Don’t hold back on me.” He whispers against your ear. 

That’s all it takes. 

You clench around his cock, cumming and moaning a slur of his name and curses. Your body goes limp against the counter. He continues to fuck into you, supporting you with his hands. 

“You feel incredible,” he mumbles, and you imagine he has his head tossed back and is enjoying every second of being inside of you. From what you can see behind you, you’re correct. 

He stops suddenly, and you push up with your arms and look behind you fully. “What, is something wrong?” 

He pulls out of you and without saying a word spins you around. 

“Jump up here,” he pats the top of the breakfast bar. 

You oblige, gripping the edge of the bar with your hands and jumping up. He pushes back inside of you and you wrap your legs around his waist. His lips are on yours before you can think to kiss him first and he begins to fuck into you harder than before. 

You can’t focus on his lips or tongue, only on holding onto him and moaning against his lips. This position feels much more intimate and overwhelming with pleasure. Your nails dig into his skin, his shoulders feel so strong under your fingers that you’re sure this isn’t even noticeable to him. It makes you curious. 

You drag your nails down his back and he groans against your mouth. “Do that again.” 

So you do, and you feel him twitch inside of you. His thrusts become sloppier and faster if that’s even possible. His stamina is unreal, and it makes you want to thank whoever the fuck his coach is for the conditioning he must have put Rin through to build this up. 

“Fuck, oh fuck,” he groans as he cums, thrusting into you a few more times before stilling inside of you. 

He leans his forehead against yours, and it's sweaty, and his hair sticks to your forehead and his. “I need another drink before we go again.” 

“Again?” You laugh, praying your pussy will make it through the day.

[drak3n]

TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE: PROLOGUE

ꨄ. SYNOPSIS: the launching of a new platform magically re-connecting seperated people has shaken the entirety of social media. after many months of contemplation and denial, you give in to your urges.

ꨄ. SENA’S NOTE: this merely serves as a way to introduce all eight parts of the mini-series! as they’re all characters from different fandoms, there clearly won’t be names or any specific action in this! so this is a little short :)

TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE MASTERLIST

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

everywhere.

it was everywhere you went. following you around like it was your shadow, cornering you at any given possibility.

you knew the drill. once something went viral anywhere, it would stick around for some time and then be forgotten.

that wasn’t the case with this damn live show. not at all. the first time it had been announced on international tv must have been ages ago, like around the beginning of the year. yet, the hype never seemed to die down, with more and more people freaking out online and in real life about how it changed their lives.

you were convinced it was a scam. like come on, who even believed in a fairy tale like that? being reunited with a lost lover, or any kind of lover who it didn’t work out with?

there was a reason it hadn’t worked out. because if there wasn’t, you’d still surely be with that person.

it started with trailers being shown on every channel you zipped through, announcing free slots for their newest season and putting emphasis on their confidentiality. how people had the choice to stay anonymous while spilling their private and embarrassing matters to so-called love experts.

such bullshit.

now, it went way past that. you ended up avoiding watching tv, just to literally be haunted by that cursed show in other ways. through flyers and stickers flying around, through posters hung up on subway stations and even inside of said subways, hell, a couple of days ago, there was even an airship promoting it.

TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE. a silly name for a concept just as silly as that.

what did you have to do again to apply?

right, as if there was any way of forgetting with how much your coworkers were babbling about it. they made sure to remind you of that every day.

“i’m still thinking if i should just call them the next time and try my luck,” you heard one of many tell another while you were waiting in the line for your lunch. “i really, really want to make up with my ex. they’re my only hope.”

their conversation went on for many more minutes, and you were glad when you finally were next in line to greet the lunch lady with a tired smile. as she filled your tray in a halfhearted manner, your smile quickly faded away upon hearing her talk to a fellow worker behind the counters.

“my son and his teenage love reconciled after he applied there. they are awaiting their first child soon!” the elderly woman gushed while placing a cup of pudding onto your tray, waiting for you to scan your employee id before you shuffled away from the line to plop down on an empty space in the crowded lunch hall.

it was all the same. love, love, love. always those same old problems. getting dumped, being abandoned, or doing the dumping and abandoning.

regret, sadness, frustration, desperation.

you came home that sane evening with thoughts plaguing your mind; with the big question if those were all signs for you to see. if everything you’d been hearing and seeing for these past couple of months were meant to open your eyes, somehow. to get the hint.

making a beeline to your bedroom, your eyes darted to the package placed on your bed. still untouched and waiting to be sent. the pastel pink stamp had been placed on the corner of the box yesterday by you. those fuckers made so much money with their hit show that they distributed stamps, to force them to send more drama their way for them to indulge in.

it was stupid that you had even put in the effort to package what was meant to have been tossed away long ago. it might or might not have been long yet, but why did you keep that?

as a writer, you couldn’t contain yourself. even back then, you had always known you’d end up becoming anything connected to writing, journaling, whatever. it was almost annoying how you used to document all those feelings you couldn’t put into words.

specifically writing letters had always been your passion. writing down your heartbreaks and grief into words and making them come to life on paper.

words you failed to tell him.

the recipients were all written on the envelopes inside the box, some years ago, and some recently, and you didn’t even know if they were still the same addresses.

for some, you knew for sure they weren’t.

even if the cast of TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE — if they picked you, that is — wouldn’t find their current addresses, you were for sure going to be relieved. those letters had been a significant burden on your heart ever since you had written them.

for the first time in your life, you didn’t feel any kind of satisfaction from writing. these letters existed to be sent. and you were realizing it just now.

they were meant to be read aloud, understood. they had to be read by others for you to be at peace with your unresolved feelings.

the very next morning, you handed the package to the post office, bidding farewell to years of bottled-up and hidden feelings.

it wasn’t until a week later that you received a letter, with the same pink stamp and sender the same you had sent your letters to. you found yourself reading it in front of the door to your apartment:

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

dear contestant,

we thank you for your package and were enthralled to read about your experiences. upon short discussions within our team of experts, we soon decided to choose your case to present in our next live airing, which is going to be this saturday!

the letters have already been sent out to their respective addresses — some of which we had to adjust as there have been changes.

it is up to you if you want to join us for our next airing — it be via call or even by showing up at our studio! we will welcome you in any case and make sure you will reunite with one of your lost loves.

please do not worry, as we will handle all of your data with the utmost care and make sure that none of it is leaked for other purposes.

up until then, stay lovely and trust the process!

ꨄ. your TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE cast

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

PROCEED TO OPEN LETTER

THE LOST LOVE ꨄ TOJI FUSHIGURO

THE ONE NIGHT STAND ꨄ HIROMI HIGURUMA

THE NEMESIS ꨄ ATSUMU MIYA

THE BEST FRIEND ꨄ KEN RYUGYJI

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS GONE WRONG ꨄ SHUJI HANMA

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE ꨄ LEVI ACKERMAN

RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIMING ꨄ TOUYA TODOROKI

THE BOY NEXT DOOR ꨄ SHOUEI BAROU

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

[shakespearean-dream]

TW!!! — blood, scarring and mild body horror ahead 🥲

benny’s turn!

before i start i wanna clarify i hesitated a bit on posting this because lovely mutual @vor-leser just posted his benny interpretation (go look at it and follow him btw), and idk if we like mind melded or smth but our human benny’s are super similar LOL. i damn near scrapped the whole thing out of fear someone would get mad at me but i Would Not be able to start over and get this done ever so this is as good as we’re gonna get. 😭 my apologies niko love u /p

this has been like a full 7 days in the making 😭😭 the art block that i felt coming on while doing ellen and ted hit me like an optimus prime sized semi truck this week along with a depressive episode so i definitely appreciate that happening and i am not upset about it at all! /s i’m totally good so don’t worry or anything /gen, mental health is just weird and i also wanted to explain the gap in my posts 😔

i do not know how to feel about this drawing if i’m so fr with you; i’m proud of myself for AM-ified benny cause i think i got the slowly rotting from the inside out primal freak energy down pretty good, but on the other hand this feels kinda empty?? i usually have a lot more commentary squished in here but i think my brain’s a little fried 🤦‍♂️ i love drawing me some beautiful buff men though so drawing normal ben was familiar territory. however his wack ass haircut i gave him is his punishment for being a PRICK!!! go sit in the corner and think about ur actions benjamin.

like ted n the rest of the sillies i’m not straying too far from canon with his personality, he’s an ass and a murderer and a hella smart dickhead who desperately needs to be punished by the universe (thank you for that one AM). hot take i did not like his “redemption arc” in his game scenario and i don’t think with how he was throughout the entirety of his life (and also throughout the game, main example his inner dialogue) he would actually go out of his way to help the kid because he means it??? n prove he changed to the guys he killed cause he means it??? i dunno maybe AM torturing him made him have a main character “omg i’ve been in the wrong this whole time!!1” moment like the game suggests i’m just not buying it 💀 i’m sure it’s just cause bennys scenario couldn’t be too long and they couldn’t fully flesh him out which i won’t fault the game makers for. i’m a steven universe fan, i know what time constrictions can do to a plot and redemption arc 😭 looking at you white diamond…

his wife n kids are up top and they’re kinda neat to me— i was considering the hc that part of the reason manya (his canon wife) left him is because she realized she was a lesbian which would be funny as fuck considering benny’s also One Of Them Queers 😭. i think during the brief times he was home and able to parent his daughters they got really scared and tired of him, one because he’s just a very threatening powerful and overbearing man, but also because i feel like he would’ve been on their ASS about everything. grades, extracurriculars, friends, wardrobe, this guy was micromanaging his family to an annoying extreme (ofc because of his perfectionist complex). he probably loved manya and the kids in his own weird way, but it was more contractual to him than any real personal relationship. maybe he inherited that from his own parents?? i doubt he ever talked to them after he moved out.

that’s about the end of my thoughts on this fucker. 🥲 funny storyyyy i just remembered i have laundry to finish so im gonna go do that, lord help me. thank you for reading all this if you did!!!!! we’re over halfway through so who do yall want next? wanna save AM or nimdok for last? i’ll see u guys later :]]]

[devilanon]

A request for a nsfw alphabet for ghost (or any/rest of them up too you) 👀 that size kink drabble lives in my head rent free btw you write him so damn well 😣🥲

hi hi :-) thanks! ghost for now, and gaz as well because i have garrick brainrot [nsfw below cut]

GHOST.

Aftercare = (what they’re like after sex) If he's post-subbing, he's the most needy fucker alive. All over you, despite how sweaty he is, plastering himself to your chest for a bit of cuddling as the little spoon. Dom Ghost will provide aftercare if you're actually in a relationship, but if it's just a quick fuck he's gone after a bare minimum check-in with you to make sure nothing's broken. But if he does have feelings for you, he's drowning you in praise, kissing lightly over the bites and bruises left in his wake, helping you sit up against his sturdy chest, bringing a bottle of water to your lips. B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Simon Riley has a huge fat fucking uncut dick, and that's just the truth. He likes seeing you struggle to take all of it, splitting you open on his cock. He's also an ass man. Loves to watch your cheeks bounce when he fucks you from behind, ripple when he spanks you, loves burying his face in your ass to eat you out.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Do not let this man fuck you raw he is fertile.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He's an exhibitionist, and he definitely wants everyone else on base to know who's fucking you and just how well he's doing it. He'll start groping you in risky high-traffic areas hoping someone sees. Swears up and down he had no idea anyone was coming down the hall.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Ghost fucks. There's no way Ghost doesn't fuck. This man has been whored out in like 80% of the countries he's been stationed in. He's great at mindless, meaningless, rough sex, but it's difficult for him to be slower, gentler, to stay present when he's actually making love and not just fucking. He tries, though, bless him.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Doggy. Like I said. Ass man. He will bend you over just about any surface if you let him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He's pretty serious aside from the occasional snide remark. When he sets himself to a task he wants to carry it out as well as he can. This extends to fucking you silly.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) He has a shortly cropped blond happy trail. I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) He's... not great at intimacy, but he makes an effort, if he's having sex with someone he harbors an emotional connection with. His dirty talk is softer, he's a bit gentler, less rough around the edges.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He has a pretty high sex drive and usually masturbates just to sate it, rather than to sit down and enjoy himself. He rarely uses pornographic material, just fucks quickly into his hand replaying some memory.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Exhibitionism, as mentioned. Pet play, d/s, anything with power and control dynamics essentially. He likes to be on both ends of the spectrum. Humiliation, degradation, etc. Again, giving and receiving. Body worship (on him, but he'll do it for you as well). Size kink. L = Location  Anywhere he can get away with it, really.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) He enjoys the concept of both dominance and exerting his will over you, and the release that comes from submitting to another person and allowing them to take the reigns. He really just teters back and forth between the two depending on his his self esteem is doing that day.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Simon Riley will not fuck you if you're even a bit tipsy or inebriated. Hard no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) This man loves to eat ass. He also loves to shove his dick as far down your throat as he can and hold you there until you're bucking against him for air.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Rough, though not necessarily fast. If he's feeling particularly worked up or mean sex can definitely turn into an endurance test he knows you'll lose. Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Simon wants to fuck you as often as he can, whenever he can, wherever he can. On a roadtrip? His hand is down your pants while he drives. Doing laundry? Lifting you up onto the dryer. In the hallway? Broom closet looks very inviting, wouldn't you say?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) He's open to a fair amount of things, if not out of interest, just to try them and know whether or not it does anything for him. S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He's a military man. He's extremely physically fit. If you let him, he'll fuck you until he physically can't anymore. Regardless of how quickly he might cum. He'll just use his fingers or his mouth until he's hard again.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) He'll never admit it, but he does get jealous of inanimate objects for making you cum. Why not him? He can do it ten times better and faster. Watch.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Don't edge him, it won't work. He's bigger, stronger, and has more stamina than you, and he's stubborn as hell. You, though? If you let him, he'll make you beg for it. He'll edge you until you cry. He's also prone to trying to fluster you whenever he can, especially in front of other people, grabbing your hips to move you aside, brushing against your ass when he passes you in a tight space, things like that.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) He's fairly quiet, especially if he's subbing. He'll groan, but it will be rare. He does enjoy a fair bit of dirty talk though. W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Wants to fuck his cum into you and then force you to walk around base leaking into your underwear. :-)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Here to preach Chunky Simon RIley gospel. He has abs but they're under a layer of fat on his tummy. You can't see them unless he flexes. He has fat fucking tits. Big enough to grope. Has a pudgy little pubic mound. His arms and thighs are fucking huge. Big fat breeder balls. Has a light dusting of hair on his chest, and is fuzzy from the waist down.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) High, man.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) You will never catch Ghost sleeping after fucking you. He barely sleeps as it is. He'll just sit with you until you're asleep or ready to do something else.

GAZ.

Aftercare = (what they’re like after sex) He needs it. He's a sensitive boy, honestly, and if you just up and leave after having sex it's definitely going to hurt his feelings. He wants to pepper kisses all over you and snuggle. And maybe grind on you a little bit while doing so.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Gaz has nice, dexterous hands that can and will pull amazing sounds out of you when he's playing with you. This man fingers like no one's business. He's fairly attentive and will catch any noises or expressions you make while he's learning what you like, so he can do it more efficiently next time. He likes to watch your face when he fucks you, or when you fuck him. Your expressions do a lot for him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) He wants to come on your face. He'll beg for it, even. He wants to mark you anywhere, coming on your ass, your tits, your tummy, but your face is his go-to spot.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He's thought about stealing your underwear from the laundry room on base, when you leave it out. He wouldn't. Especially if you're not dating. It's just a thought. But he… looks. For a while. Especially if it's some lacy thing. Thinks about holding it in his hand while he's fucking his fist. Then goes about his day, chiding himself a bit.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Mildly? I feel like Gaz maybe got around when he was younger but has kind of slowed down, and he's even a bit ashamed of his fuckboy phase. He's seeking more of an emotional connection now instead of flings.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Facefucking is high up there. He also likes missionary so he can watch your expression change into something fuzzy and fucked-out.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He's definitely always smiling when he fucks you, right up until he's about to come. Whether or not it's a smirk or a goofy grin depends on what you're doing and the mood. He'll also tease and rib you lightly, especially if you're babbling nonsense after he's pushed you particularly hard and made you come several times.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) I headcanon Gaz as being fairly smooth? I honestly don't know why.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Gaz is sweet. He's one to break out pet names, compliments, occasionally praise; I don't think he has a lot of casual sex, so making love is more of a common occurrence than just fucking.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Gaz definitely has a folder on his phone of dirty pictures of his S/O that he pulls up when he's getting off. He prefers sex, but will look at images of you if you're not accessible at the moment. He'll send you images of him fucking his hand, sound clips if he's feeling particularly devious. If you let him take videos of you giving head or fucking him for use while he's away, he'll be very, very grateful.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Marking (with cum, but he'll leave hickies as well). Overstim. He likes to fuck you until you're unintelligible, then keep going beyond that, if you'll let him. Grinding / outercourse / thigh fucking. Service domming.

L = Location  He's not too adventurous, anywhere private.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Gaz just wants to make you feel good, honestly. You getting off gets him off.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Getting super rough, mean, or degrading doesn't do anything for him. Not only is he disinterested in it, it's counterproductive to what actually gives him pleasure, even if you ask for it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Gaz loves eat out for dinner :-) He'll keep going until you're squirming away from him and begging him to give you a break. Tonguefucking is a favorite. He likes fucking your face, making it sloppy and watching the drool run down your chin onto your chest. Bonus points if you wear makeup and he gets to ruin it. Bonus bonus points if you have to walk somewhere with that ruined makeup.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) It depends on his mood; he's normally pretty slow in the interest of being thorough and making you come as hard as you can, as many times as he can make you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He's indifferent to it. It doesn't give him as much time as he'd like to unravel you, but if you propose it he's certainly not going to turn you down.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Gaz is fairly open to trying new things, but if it skeeves him out even a little bit he's unwilling to try it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Multiple rounds are a given fucking this man. He wants you fucked stupid. He wants you braindead and drooling. He wants you unintelligible on his dick. He will buy a cock ring for the sole purpose of fucking you longer so he can watch your eyes roll back and jaw go slack as you come for the umpteenth time.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Gaz is fairly open to using toys; again, big fan of service domming, so he enjoys doing whatever he can to make you feel good. He would also enjoy leaving something inside of you while you run errands or do chores, just as a way to mark you, claim you without actually touching you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He's not a super big fan of it; why edge you when he can make you come, and then make you come again? He doesn't hold out well if you tease him, either. The moment you flirt with him, brush up against him or make a suggestive statement, he's ready to go.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Gaz is very vocal, and he's not shy about it either. He's a whiner, making high pitched breathy sounds, and he's also prone to babbling in your ear when he's close to coming; "Hot, wet, tight, so good for me baby."

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Crier. Not in an emotional sense, but if he comes particularly hard he's thanking you and tears are rolling down his face.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) This man is cut. He has the "otter" build, slim, lean and strong. Veiny arms. Definitely has abs. Cum gutters. His dick is long and curved upward. Average thickness. His balls hang. Good for slapping against your clit when he fucks you from behind.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Gaz wants to fuck, man. Not so much that it's a constant thought of his, but he's easily swayed into being in the mood.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Sex doesn't knock him out, but he'll fall asleep cuddling you afterwards. (He talks in his sleep.)

[plum-pitt]

LU Age headcanons:

Heyo! Been a while since i rambled about my favorite silly elf boys but this just came on the brain so I thought i’d talk about it! But as a twist, i’m conceptualizing their ages through the lens of a persons development in modern society.

(Disclaimer, this is based purely on appearance and vibes, with just a little input from canon. Also sorry sky fans looking at that mf genuinely scares me because i feel like he could be anywhere from 17 to 25 or even older than time itself and i still wouldn’t know. that fucker just can’t register in my brain.)

Wind: This is fucking textbook 14 year old boy. You can’t tell me he doesn’t still jump up to smack the top of every doorframe he walks through, and pull up clothed head to toe in obnoxious highlighter yellow athletic wear every day.

Four: He’s definitely a 16 year old but like- the kind of 16 year old that’s the only one in the group who has a car, if that makes any sense. Like he IS squad soccer mom.

Hyrule: He’s 17, but that very specific brand where he’s got everyone in his life getting on his ass to figure out what he wants to do after highschool, and probably won’t even figure out if he wants to go to college or not until like a week before graduation.

Wild: This here a 19 year old, he’s moved out already, leaving his high pressure home life behind to live happily somewhere far away with his gf, exploring a whole new world of possibilities free of expectations, and probably also his gender identity.

Legend: This fucker is that one 20 year old you know that is already so burnt out and jaded by the idea of adulthood you’d think he’s getting close to retirement age. But nah he’s just THAT over it.

Warriors: Frat guy who just turned 21 and slowly having the dawning realization that drinking is a lot less fun when it’s legal for him to do it.

Twilight: This man 22 and has his whole fuckin life together, went straight into work after highschool and is probably the only guy in his friend group with a stable income. Really just took to adulthood like a fish to the river. Definitely has nieces and nephews he spoils and brags to his friends about all the time like they’re actually his kids.

Time: Haha look at this fuckin mortgage payer. Ok so i can’t guess his actual mental age, but physically he looks like a guy in his early 40s, fresh outta his midlife crisis, looking confident and very dilfy, despite the fact that he’s woefully childless. Don’t ask me how i arrived at this conclusion or why it matters but he definitely collects antique furniture with his wife.