#they’re both good songs they just make us emotional | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wallowslistener · 3 months ago

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is it casual now? ೨ৎ e. x reader

𐙚˚ elliot x fem!reader. light angst. 1.4k words.

✦ it’s midnight, and the glow from the streetlights seeps through the blinds of elliot’s bedroom. you’re both sprawled out on his bed, your legs tangled together under the sheets.

his guitar rests in the corner, a reminder of the songs he played earlier—songs that always seemed to say more than his words ever did.

the room is quiet now, except for the occasional rustle of the sheets and the soft sounds of your breathing. you lie on your back, staring up at the ceiling, feeling the weight of the unspoken thoughts pressing down on you.

elliot’s beside you, his arm draped lazily across his eyes, as if he’s trying to block out the world—or maybe just the things he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

you glance over at him, studying the familiar lines of his face, the way his hair falls messily across his forehead, the hint of a smirk that always seems to linger on his lips. it’s a face you’ve come to know so well, and yet, there’s always a part of him that feels just out of reach.

“elliot,” you say softly, breaking the silence.

he hums in response, not moving, but you know he’s listening.

“do you ever think about… us?” the question hangs in the air, vulnerable and loaded with all the emotions you’ve been trying to keep at bay.

elliot sighs, finally moving his arm to look at you. his expression is unreadable, but there’s something in his eyes that makes your heart ache. “what do you mean?”

you turn on your side to face him fully, propping yourself up on one elbow. “i mean… is this all we are? just… casual?”

he doesn’t answer right away, and that silence is all the confirmation you need. you feel a pang of disappointment, but you’ve come this far, and you need to hear him say it.

“i like what we have,” he finally says, his voice careful, as if he’s trying to find the right words. “it’s easy, you know? no pressure, no expectations… just us, having a good time.”

you bite your lip, trying to keep the frustration and sadness from spilling over. “but what if i want more? what if i need more than just… casual?”

elliot’s eyes flicker with something—regret, maybe, or guilt—but he doesn’t reach out for you. instead, he looks away, his fingers picking at a loose thread on the blanket. “i don’t know if i can give you that,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.

the words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you feel the tears welling up despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. “why not?”

he shrugs, and there’s a sadness in his eyes now, a vulnerability that he rarely lets you see. “i guess i'm just… not good at that kind of thing. relationships, commitments… they scare me. i don’t want to hurt you.”

“but you already are,” you say, your voice trembling. “by not being honest with me, by keeping things… casual when you know i want more.”

elliot closes his eyes for a moment, as if the weight of your words is too much to bear. when he opens them again, they’re full of regret. “i'm sorry,” he says, and you can tell he means it, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

you sit up, pulling the sheets closer around you, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable. “i don’t think i can do this anymore, elliot. i can’t keep pretending that this is enough for me.”

he looks up at you, his expression pained. “i don’t want to lose you.”

“but you don’t want to keep me either,” you say softly, the realization cutting deep.

elliot doesn’t argue, and that’s how you know this is it. you nod, more to yourself than to him, as you slip out of bed and start gathering your things. the room feels colder now, the distance between you two growing with every second.

as you head for the door,elliot finally moves, sitting up in bed. “wait,” he says, his voice desperate, but you can’t look at him, not now.

“i need more than what you’re willing to give,” you say, your hand on the doorknob. “and i deserve that.”

with that, you leave, the door closing behind you with a finality that echoes in your chest. you walk out into the night, the cool air stinging your skin, but you keep going. it hurts, but you know this is what you need to do—for yourself.

as you leave elliot's place, the cool night air feels both refreshing and harsh against your skin. the ache in your chest is almost unbearable, but you keep walking, forcing yourself to focus on each step rather than the pain. you know you made the right decision, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

a few days pass, and you don’t hear from elliot. it’s agonizing, waiting for him to reach out, wondering if he’ll ever realize what he lost. you go about your days in a haze, trying to distract yourself with friends, work, anything that will keep your mind off him. but every time your phone buzzes, you can’t help but hope it’s him.

then, late one night, as you’re lying in bed, your phone lights up with a message. it's from elliot. your heart races as you open it, not sure what to expect.

“i can't stop thinking about u,” the message reads. “i know i messed up. can we talk?”

you stare at the screen, torn between hope and fear. you want to believe he’s ready to give you more, but you’re afraid of getting hurt again. after a long moment, you decide to meet with him. if nothing else, you need closure.

the next evening, you meet at a small diner, one of the few places open late. elliot is already there when you arrive, sitting in a corner booth. he looks nervous, fidgeting with his cup, and the sight of him tugs at your heartstrings.

you slide into the seat across from him, and for a moment, neither of you say anything. the silence between you is heavy, filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that have been building up for days.

finally, elliot breaks the silence. “i’m sorry,” he says, his voice soft but earnest. “i was scared of losing you, so i thought keeping things casual would protect me from that. but all it did was push you away.”

you look at him, searching his eyes for the truth. “i can’t keep doing this, elliot. i need more than what you giving me.”

“i know,” he says, his gaze meeting yours. “and i want to try. i don’t want to lose you, and if that means facing my fears and trying to be the person you need, then i'll do it. i care about you more than i realized, and it took almost losing you to see that.”

his words are sincere, and for the first time, you see the vulnerability he’s been hiding behind his usual laid back demeanor. he’s scared, but he’s trying. and that means something.

you take a deep breath, letting his words sink in. “i need you to be honest with me, elliot. i need to know that you’re willing to give this a real chance.”

he reaches across the table, taking your hand in his. “i am. i want to be with you, not just casually, but really with you. i’m not perfect, and i know i’ll probably mess up sometimes, but i’m willing to try. i don’t want to lose you.”

the sincerity in his voice and the way he’s looking at you make your heart swell. you can see that he’s scared, but he’s also willing to face those fears for you. and that’s all you needed to hear.

you squeeze his hand, a small smile playing on your lips. “okay,” you say softly. “let’s try.”

elliot smiles, a genuine, relieved smile that makes your heart skip a beat. “thank you,” he says, his voice full of emotion. “i won’t let you down.”

as you sit there, holding hands across the table, you feel a sense of hope that you haven’t felt in a long time. It won’t be easy, but you’re both willing to give it a real shot. and for the first time, that feels like enough.

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pagannatural · 8 months ago

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2.07 The Usual Suspects

-Sam being interrogated about Dean is so so good because we get to see Sam being told that his brother is a scumbag criminal and the way he reacts by rolling his eyes like he’s heard this before. It’s almost like seeing a teenage version of Sam. The detective keeps telling him to throw Dean under the bus and the whole time he’s just giving attitude and plotting how to help Dean and work the case. He keeps looking out the window. Some of his reactions are raw and some are fake and some are both and his mind is running through his options assessing what to do and how to get out of this.

When confronted with the cliff notes on his and Dean’s life, Sam runs the gamut of emotion from sad and grief-stricken about Jessica to defending Dean and acting all scandalized to being a smartass, to whatever the hell this is when she says “it’s not your fault he’s your brother, we can’t pick our family”

The double meaning here. The not meeting her eyes, the tension on his face, the disdain. It’s giving Bitch don’t I fucking know it, yet I would choose him a thousand times and every time I would be a little bit miserable. “It’s not your fault he’s your brother, we can’t pick our [soul mates]” is probably what God tells him in his most comforting dreams.

-So the detective’s theory is what? That after a shared sordid serial killer childhood Sam escaped the life and then Dean murdered Sam’s girlfriend in a house fire to lure him back in and make him his crime wife?

Because I mean yeah I would read that AU. That fits their vibe pretty nicely.

-She says “Dean’s a bad guy….his life is over, yours doesn’t have to be” and Sam looks at her like that’s the dumbest thing he has ever heard.

She doesn’t know that they become sickly and depressed when they’re apart like a pair of bonded sewer kittens.

When she tells him he can get on with his life and Dean’s as good as gone you can almost see him tuning her out and calculating how to lie about this.

-Sam starts on his cover story, using his trademark Sweet-Innocent face. He relies on his charms and on appearing helpless to manipulate people into doing what he wants. He would’ve learned to do this when he was a child as a survival skill, and I can just imagine how well this complemented Dean’s tough but earnest seduction thing. Acting sweet and helpless when you’re actually savvy and resourceful is a trope commonly used in female characters. These traits (innocence, sweetness, feigned helplessness) are associated with women gaining/utilizing agency in the ways available to them.

Because narratively, Sam is the girl. It’s stuff like this, plus the way he’s depicted as Dean’s tempting damsel in distress in other episodes. It increases the sexual tension between Sam and Dean when they rely on these archetypes because we know what it means when two leads are masculine and feminine, when they need each other and the plot hinges on their conflict. It means they’re the love interests.

-Dean makes a joke about Sam being Scully, and Sam’s like I’m not Scully you’re Scully, and Dean says “No I’m Mulder. You’re a red headed woman.” Really spelling it out.

Dean is smirking and making prolonged eye contact and just— he’s flirting. There’s a Bruce Springsteen song titled “Red Headed Woman” about how “it takes a red headed woman to get a dirty job done.” I have no idea if this is what Dean’s referencing or if it’s just a Scully reference but it’s a very specific thing to say and Sam is brunette. The song is very suggestive.

-Dean HATES waiting around while Sam works. Within seconds he becomes insufferable and has to leave to go do something, flirting with Sam again on his way out.

-“Sam’s story matches Dean’s to the last detail” they didn’t even SEE each other before talking to police! They’re just so connected that they tell the same exact story. Then they both work on the case in their separate interrogation rooms using different methods and arrive at the same conclusion at the same time. They also make the same joke about their public defender.

-I keep seeing this post about who knew Dean better, Sam or Castiel, and I just want to point out that these two are so in sync they can essentially read each others minds.

-We have an outsider perspective on their lives and relationship a few times this episode, and the detectives comment more than once on how weirdly connected the brothers are. Like, Dean communicates to Sam via movie reference to escape and Sam is already all over that, he’s been assessing how to climb out the window since his first scene.

-Dean tells the detective to go to Sam so that Sam can save her life, giving her their info on “how we find each other when we’re separated.” That’s very practical. It’s also true that when they aren’t together they are obsessed with finding each other and making sure they know exactly where the other is at all times. They must have felt so untethered when Sam was at Stanford. I’m imagining Sam going on a little trip over spring break and feeling like he’s forgetting something really important and starting to panic only to realize it’s just that Dean won’t know where he is.

#samdean #supernatural #spn meta #sam and dean #wincest #spn 2x07

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kedsandtubesocks · 9 months ago

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dance away your cowboy blues

Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel

word count: 6k

a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡

A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.

He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.

So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.

Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.

Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.

When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.

From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.

A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.

It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.

You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.

Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.

Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.

More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.

“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.

Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.

“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.

“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.

You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.

It’s a trait you gained from Joel.

Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.

Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.

“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.

The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.

Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.

You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.

The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.

Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.

The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.

Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.

The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.

And the lead singer is Joel.

Your knees almost give out.

Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.

Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.

Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.

“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.

You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.

“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”

You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.

Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.

Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.

“We can stay.”

Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.

“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.

“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.

When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.

A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.

The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.

You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Then Joel speaks.

“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.

“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.

His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.

Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.

You now fully soak in Joel.

He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.

During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.

He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.

You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.

There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.

“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.

The crowd cheers back at him.

“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.

That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.

It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.

However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.

If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…

It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.

At the chorus, your throat tightens.

I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you

The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.

Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.

There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.

Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.

The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.

A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -

And that’s when he spots you.

Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.

But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.

His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.

He knows it’s you.

Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.

You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.

The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction

But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.

His focus stays on you.

It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.

“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.

You think maybe it’s a hallucination.

Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.

If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…

Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.

Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.

You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.

Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.

“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.

He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.

Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.

Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.

He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.

Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.

The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.

Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.

Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.

Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.

It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.

But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.

You made him laugh.

On stage.

Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.

Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.

Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.

A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.

“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.

“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”

You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.

You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.

You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.

Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.

You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.

“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.

“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”

So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.

Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”

She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.

“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”

He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’

What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.

Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.

The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.

Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.

It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.

The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.

“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”

A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.

“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.

“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.

“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”

The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.

“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.

“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.

You even perk up curious.

“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.

Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.

The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.

The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.

This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.

The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.

I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…

His eyes never leave yours.

The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.

Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.

It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.

Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.

Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.

“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.

Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.

“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.

You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.

Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.

“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.

It’s a keychain.

Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.

It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.

Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.

Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.

You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.

“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.

“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”

You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.

“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.

“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.

You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.

“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”

You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.

The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.

No, Joel isn’t that type of man.

Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.

The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.

He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.

A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.

“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”

You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.

The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.

You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.

Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.

It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.

“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”

You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.

It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.

“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.

“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”

“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.

There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.

So you turn the conversation back to him.

You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.

“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”

“As usual.”

You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.

Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.

“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.

Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.

Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.

You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.

“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”

You turn to walk out.

That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.

“I miss you.” He exhales.

“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.

When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.

“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.

“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.

Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.

“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.

“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”

Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.

“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.

“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.

“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”

“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.

“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.

The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.

“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”

Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.

“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.

“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.

“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”

“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”

“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.

“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.

Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.

Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.

“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”

Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.

Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.

He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.

His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.

Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.

“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”

Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.

Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.

“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.

“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.

“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.

His arms squeeze you tighter.

“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.

“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.

“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”

You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.

“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.

You nod a soft yes.

Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.

“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”

Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.

He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.

“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.

“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.

You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.

“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.

Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.

“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”

His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.

“You what?” You stammer out.

“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”

Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.

Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.

“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.

“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”

You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.

“Baby,” he begins.

“Hm?”

“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”

“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.

“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.

“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”

His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.

Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.

But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.

Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.

Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.

It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.

Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.

Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.

“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.

He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.

“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.

You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.

Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.

“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.

“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”

From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.

“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.

“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.

It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.

The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.

“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.

“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.

You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.

“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”

Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.

Twisting in his arms your lips find his.

“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.

You snort, shaking your head.

“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.

“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.

“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.

In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.

But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.

#my heart is so full and I can’t thank yall enough I wish country singer Joel could perform for you personally in your living room #let’s rodeo fic series #country singer!joel miller #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller x f!reader #Joel miller fic #Joel miller fanfic #Joel 🤎

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rosenotactuallyquartz · 4 months ago

Text

both of you

this song is incredibly special.

it’s almost like it’s over isn’t it is the questions. as i said in my post about it’s over isn’t it, johnston said that pearl feels lost and out of place by the end of the song. both of you has the answers!

steven

i love that steven is the one who sings it. it helps greg & pearl connect, because they’re raising steven. steven reassures them that he feels loved. more loved than greg felt as a kid, along with rose and pearl, who never even got to be kids. pearl also saw how pink was treated in her early years.

rose would be proud of both of them.

rose symbolism

of course, steven is singing the song, but they can still sense rose’s love and lingering presence.

pearl tends to notice the personality and speaking pattern similarities between steven and his mother. in rose’s scabbard, she said, “sometimes, you even sound like her.” so, steven singing the song helps with certain epiphanies and needed closure.

he also has her gem, and when he sings the first, “you both love me and i love both of you,” a tear falls from his eye. to me, it represents rose’s healing tears. interesting, because:

“steven, your mother had healing tears that flowed from her gem. she felt real love for those around her. she felt real sorrow when they were hurt.” — garnet, an indirect kiss.

it definitely symbolizes what rose would say to them if she was alive.

after that line, greg & pearl tear up, too. pearl tears up exactly like she does in the scene where she says steven sometimes sounds like rose (after: well, i think you’re pretty great).

she’s also symbolized by the rose petals in the air and the light around steven being pink. which brings me to my next point.

colour symbolism

the light around steven is pink, symbolizing his mother. rose’s colour was pink, and she also happens to be pink diamond—something that is only known by pearl at the time.

the light on greg is yellow and the light on pearl is blue... which symbolizes a lot of different things.

foreshadowing, for one thing. somewhere on homeworld, blue and yellow are at odds as they’re dealing with the loss of pink. pink, who became rose. this scene gives us a hint about rose’s secret, because eventually we meet blue & yellow and we hear what’s the use of feeling blue. obviously these are two completely different situations involving two completely different people, but it’s a pink diamond hint.

their colours also represent things about greg & pearl in particular.

yellow symbolizes optimism and light, the way greg tries to keep life light for the people he cares about. this is both good and flawed. while he likes living in the moment, he never wanted to have deep conversations & talk about the past. sometimes it can be a form of avoidance, especially when things are unhealed, important, or impacting the present and future.

as i said in my last analysis, greg and pearl are two different extremes & opposites.

blue symbolizes order, loyalty, honesty… but blue also symbolizes sadness. she keeps secrets, always tries to take care of everyone, and it makes her forget about herself. blue also symbolizes timidity, just as the confusing situation, personal insecurity (i.e., always focused on what she can do for her/how she can help her, yet rose could find comfort in simply who pearl is), and pain has made her believe that rose didn’t love her as much as she loved her.

as they bond, he finally provides a sense of warmth that helps with the coldness she feels, and she allows him to really feel everything that he often tries to avoid.

“why don’t you talk to each other, just give it a try. why don’t you talk about what happened, i know you’re trying to avoid it but i don’t know why.” — steven, both of you

it’s funny, the way that these lyrics point out some of their major flaws and how it’s worsened their grief. greg avoids talking about emotional topics, and pearl hasn’t tried to talk to greg about rose and the reasons behind her death, because she has distanced herself from him. which is a very realistic and understandable thing to do, especially in early grief. however, talking to each other makes her realize what really happened. lastly, i don’t know why is related to rose. she didn’t know that they were at odds, she didn’t know how the norms of human relationships worked. despite we need to talk, there were still many things that were left unsaid between… everyone. she was often stuck in her own mind, which was not the best place to be, so she was quite oblivious to the things that were going on around her. heck, she was stuck wondering why two great people cared for her.

the conversation

greg: look, if i were you, i’d hate me, too.

pearl: i don’t hate you.

greg: but i knew how you felt about rose and i stayed anyway.

pearl: that wasn’t the problem.

greg: then, what was?

pearl: she fell in love with you.

pearl’s “blue” allows greg to finally look back at painful memories from the past. as he speaks, his voice sounds similar to how he sounded when he was just 22. he acknowledges the fact that he should have asked more questions about pearl’s love with rose, along with understanding the differences between gem and human relationships. he knows he avoids heavy topics and gem topics, but he recognizes that despite his efforts in we need to talk, he regrets not attempting more communication between all of them. he’s able to have regrets instead of focusing solely on the positives and the present.

doing so helps pearl get some closure. she also has her own epiphany which helps her want to be greg’s friend: he was the first human who cared for rose enough to actually build a meaningful connection with her. she realizes why she said, “i was fine, with the men…” earlier. greg was different. but in a good way, really.

of course she worried about greg being rose’s favourite: not only does she struggle to understand human relationships, but his bond with rose was the first bond she had with a human that wasn’t meaningless like her past bonds. pearl felt confused and everyone was avoiding conversations for different reasons.

and yet, in the background, steven sings, you both love me and i love both of you.

she always did what she wanted!

this line represents the positive and the negative reasons behind rose’s decision to give up her physical form.

while greg and pearl are around each other and they’re allowed to see the situation in a new light, keep in mind that they never switch colours. pearl’s light remains blue and greg’s light remains yellow.

pearl always wondered: “why did she choose to create life with him and die, over living with me forever? she not love me enough?” she questioned this earlier, during it’s over isn’t it, but as i said earlier, both of you gives her the answers.

you both love me, and i love both of you. she seems to get this epiphany that rose loved everyone who loved her. she loved them as much as they loved her. she loved them the exact same way they loved her. no more, no less.

there is no single reason behind behind rose’s death, but the reasons are unrelated to rose choosing someone. the reasons are related to her and steven.

—> pearl’s symbolism

“that wasn’t the problem… then, what was?”

as pearl realizes that rose did fall in love with her, too, she realizes that falling in love with anyone wasn’t really the problem.

the problem was, she’d fall in love… and she’d love whoever she loved far more than she could ever love herself.

as the show continues to progress, pearl is realizing just how much rose was in love with her, but she’s also simultaneously realizing just how much rose didn’t love herself.

she will no longer look back at the memories and say, “i wish she loved me as much as i loved her,” she’ll say, “i wish she loved herself as much as i loved her.”

pearl represents the rose-related reasons behind this decision: how she thought everyone was better than her & would be better off without her.

“people would be drawn to her, gems would be drawn to her, and i don’t know if they would necessarily realize that she was worshipping them, which was compounding her own sadness.” — rebecca sugar

pearl says, “she always did what she wanted!” close to tears. it symbolizes the pain behind rose’s decision.

—> greg’s symbolism

as steven’s father, greg and steven share similarities. they look alike, and he also has this memory:

“but you, you're supposed to change. you’re never the same, even moment to moment, you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. what an incredible power… the ability to grow up.” — greg the babysitter

greg represents the steven-related reasons behind rose’s death: her love for humanity, growth, creating life on her own, creating someone who she knew would be a gift to those she loved, and her love for steven.

rose’s death was a tragedy, and nothing can change that. there were heartbreaking reasons behind her death.

at the same time, this doesn’t mean she loved steven any less! she loved him so much, and she was so excited for him to exist.

in a way, this song gives answers to everyone, honest answers.

all three of them are loved by rose in different ways, genuinely and deeply. the only person she didn’t love enough was herself.

greg says, “she always did what she wanted!” with a laugh at the end. it symbolizes the warmth and love behind rose’s decision, and the wonderful person that they have in their lives. steven is a gift from rose.

final thoughts

steven, pearl, and greg all grow together in this song. it’s special, because this was something rose loved the most: growth. it will always be tragic, because she loved them all and she loved growth, but she never believed she could grow and she couldn’t love herself.

still, this song gives them a sense of closure and reassurance. they learn from each other and see the situation for how it truly is. they experience rose’s presence and they are able to bond once they realize they have a lot in common: they’re grieving, they’re raising a kid they both love. they’re able to do this with the realization that there really was no love triangle here, no choosing someone over the other. no one said, “yeah, i’ll just accept that she loved you more,” or “well, i mean, she loved you like a friend!” because that’s not the case.

i love this song so much, and it’s so underrated yet so deep and complicated.

#pearlrose #steven universe #su rose quartz #crystal gems #pearl su #both of you #rebecca sugar #su #meta su #pink diamond #prose #pearl x rose #love like you #rosepearl #su steven

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awkward-walking-potato · 2 months ago

Note

Hello! I'd like to request sfw/nsfw alphabet for Wade Wilson please! Your fics are really good

SFW Alphabet:

A - Affection:

Wade is incredibly affectionate, but in his own strange way. Expect playful teasing, exaggerated gestures, and over-the-top compliments. He’ll never shy away from showing you love, even in public.

B - Best Friend:

You’re his partner-in-crime—literally. Wade loves having a sidekick or someone to bounce his crazy ideas off of. He’s loyal to the core and would do anything to keep you safe, even if it means annoying you half to death.

C - Cuddles:

Wade loves cuddles, but they might turn into playful wrestling matches or tickle fights. He’s all about physical closeness, especially when it makes him feel grounded and loved.

D - Domestic:

Wade in a domestic setting is chaotic but sweet. He’ll cook (though it might not be edible), attempt to clean (probably leaving more of a mess), and randomly serenade you with ridiculous songs while doing chores.

E - Excitement:

Everything with Wade is an adventure. He thrives on excitement and unpredictability, so being with him means you’ll never be bored. Expect surprise dates, random road trips, and unexpected (and often dangerous) escapades.

F - Flirting:

Wade’s flirting is constant, outrageous, and hilarious. He’ll make inappropriate jokes, use cheesy pickup lines, and always try to get you to laugh, all while genuinely admiring you.

G - Gifts:

He’s the kind of guy who gives you odd but meaningful gifts—think a grenade shaped like a heart or a plushie of his favorite X-Men. Wade’s gifts are usually a combination of thoughtful and utterly bizarre.

H - Hugs:

Hugging Wade is like getting tackled by a hyperactive puppy. He’s warm, a little overwhelming, and never lets go until you’re both out of breath from laughing.

I - Intimacy (Emotional):

While Wade puts up a tough, joking front, he’s deeply emotional underneath. He craves genuine connection and trusts you with his vulnerabilities, even if he hides them behind humor most of the time.

J - Jealousy:

Wade is surprisingly possessive when it comes to people he loves. His jealousy manifests in dramatic, humorous ways—he’ll start over-the-top rivalries with anyone he perceives as competition, but it’s all in good fun.

K - Kisses:

Kissing Wade is always an experience. He’s spontaneous, and his kisses can range from soft and sweet to passionate and wild. Sometimes he’ll sneak kisses mid-battle just because he can.

L - Lazy Days:

On lazy days, Wade loves binge-watching trashy TV shows, stuffing his face with snacks, and lying on the couch in a cuddle pile with you. It’s the rare quiet time that he cherishes more than he’d admit.

M - Mornings:

Wade is not a morning person. He’ll grumble, pull you back into bed, and try to convince you to stay in bed with him for "just five more minutes"—which, in Wade time, could mean hours.

N - Nicknames:

He’ll come up with the most ridiculous and creative nicknames for you, often changing them daily. They’re always endearing, if not a little embarrassing in public.

O - Open:

Wade is an open book, often oversharing or giving you way more information than necessary. He has no filter, but it’s part of his charm. He doesn’t hide anything from you—emotionally or otherwise.

P - Protective:

Wade is fiercely protective of you, often to the point of going overboard. He’d take a bullet, sword, or bomb for you without a second thought, and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if he’s a little reckless about it.

Q - Quirks:

Everything about Wade is quirky. He talks to himself (and sometimes the audience), breaks the fourth wall constantly, and finds humor in the darkest situations. Being with him means embracing the chaos.

R - Romantic:

Wade is a hopeless romantic, though his idea of romance might include explosions or elaborate stunts. He genuinely tries to sweep you off your feet, even if his methods are unconventional.

S - Supportive:

He’s your biggest cheerleader, always encouraging you to follow your dreams and be the best version of yourself. Wade might joke around, but when it comes to your happiness, he’s completely sincere.

T - Trust:

Once you’ve earned Wade’s trust, he’s loyal to a fault. He doesn’t trust easily due to his past, but once he lets you in, he’s all in, trusting you with his life (and heart).

U - Understanding:

Despite his chaotic nature, Wade is surprisingly understanding and empathetic. He’s been through a lot, so he’s patient and supportive when it comes to your own struggles.

V - Vulnerable:

Wade hides his vulnerabilities with humor, but when he’s feeling particularly down, he’ll turn to you for comfort. In those rare moments, he’ll let his guard down completely and let you see the softer side of him.

W - Wild:

Wade is wild in every sense of the word. He’s unpredictable, daring, and always full of energy. Being with him means embracing the wild ride that comes with his lifestyle.

X - X-Factor:

Wade’s X-factor is his resilience. No matter how many times life knocks him down, he gets back up, and he always does it with a smile. His ability to keep going, no matter what, is one of the things that makes him truly remarkable.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is the kind of guy who craves love and connection, even if he acts like he’s fine on his own. Deep down, he’s always yearning for that special someone who truly understands him.

Z - Zany:

Everything Wade does is zany, off-the-wall, and unpredictable. You never know what he’ll say or do next, but that’s part of the fun of being with him.

NSFW Alphabet:

A - Aftercare:

Despite his usual chaotic demeanor, Wade is surprisingly sweet after sex. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable, might crack a joke to lighten the mood, and will offer cuddles or snacks if you’re up for it.

B - Body Part:

Wade loves everything about your body, but he’s particularly drawn to your butt. Expect cheeky (literally) comments and playful grabs whenever he’s nearby.

C - Cum:

Wade is pretty open about everything, including this. He finds it hilarious to make jokes about it during the moment, but he’s also surprisingly considerate about cleanup.

D - Dirty Talk:

Wade is all about dirty talk—expect a constant stream of filthy, outrageous, and sometimes downright hilarious comments during sex. He’s got no filter, and he’ll say whatever comes to his mind.

E - Experience:

Wade has been around and has definitely picked up some tricks along the way. He’s confident and adventurous in bed, always willing to try something new to keep things interesting.

F - Favorite Position:

He doesn’t have a favorite because he loves switching it up constantly. Whether it’s something classic or a more creative position, Wade’s all about variety and fun.

G - Goofy:

Sex with Wade is never boring—it’s always filled with laughter, jokes, and playful teasing. He doesn’t take anything too seriously, which makes everything feel relaxed and fun.

H - Hair:

Wade isn’t particular about body hair—he’s seen it all and doesn’t care much about appearances. He might joke about it, but he’s really into whatever makes you feel comfortable.

I - Intimacy (Physical):

Even though Wade’s usually joking around, he’s surprisingly attentive in bed. He’ll make sure you’re enjoying yourself and will do whatever it takes to please you, though he’ll do it with a playful twist.

J - Jack Off:

Wade is open about his masturbation habits and will probably make jokes about it at the most inappropriate times. He’s also not shy about letting you watch if you’re into that.

K - Kink:

Wade is open to just about anything and loves trying new things. Whether it’s role-playing, light bondage, or something a bit more extreme, he’s always down to experiment and see what works for both of you.

L - Location:

Anywhere and everywhere is fair game with Wade. He loves the thrill of spontaneous encounters, whether it’s in a bedroom, an alley, or somewhere completely unexpected.

M - Motivation:

Wade’s always ready to go, but what really gets him in the mood is seeing you happy and confident. He’s turned on by your excitement and loves knowing that he can make you feel good.

N - No:

While Wade’s open to almost anything, he’s respectful of boundaries. He’ll never push you to do something you’re uncomfortable with and is surprisingly understanding about your limits.

O - Oral:

Wade is a fan of giving and receiving oral, and he’s very enthusiastic about it. He loves the reactions he gets from you and will often tease or prolong the moment just to drive you wild.

P - Pace:

Wade’s pace is usually fast and playful, but he can slow down if the moment calls for it. He’s adaptable

Q - Quickies:

Wade loves quickies. The thrill of sneaking in a spontaneous moment of passion, especially in unexpected places, excites him. Whether it's before a mission or during a mundane task, he’s always up for some fast-paced fun.

R - Risk:

Wade is all about taking risks and loves the idea of getting caught (or not caring if you do). He’s adventurous and doesn’t shy away from more dangerous or thrilling locations for your escapades. That said, he’s still mindful of your boundaries and ensures you’re on board with any risky play.

S - Stamina:

Thanks to his healing factor, Wade has insane stamina. He can go for hours, multiple rounds, and still be ready for more. He’ll make it a point to match your energy, keeping things exciting and varied so neither of you ever gets bored.

T - Toys:

Wade is a big fan of incorporating toys into the mix. He loves experimenting with all sorts of gadgets and devices, and he’s not afraid to raid an adult store with you. Whether it’s vibrating toys, restraints, or something more exotic, he’s always eager to add a little extra spice to the fun.

U - Unusual:

Sex with Wade is rarely traditional. He’s into trying new, unusual things and finds excitement in the unexpected. Whether it’s an unconventional position, a strange location, or some absurd roleplay scenario, Wade thrives on making things weird (in the best way possible).

V - Volume:

Wade is loud during sex. He’s constantly cracking jokes, making exaggerated noises, or offering running commentary about what’s happening. He’s vocal in every sense—whether he’s giving praise, making dirty jokes, or just making you laugh, expect a lot of noise.

W - Wild:

Wade’s sexual appetite and style are wild, untamed, and always unpredictable. He’s game for almost anything and loves pushing the boundaries of what you’d expect in bed. His wild side keeps things exciting, making every experience feel new and exhilarating.

X - X-Ray:

Wade is completely open about his body, even with his scars and imperfections. He makes light of his appearance but always reassures you with humor and confidence that what matters is how he feels about you. He’s also obsessed with how much you enjoy his body and won’t hesitate to ask (or joke about) what parts of him you like best.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is deeply passionate and craves closeness. Beneath all his jokes, there’s an intense need for affection and physical connection. He’s always eager to be near you, whether it’s through playful teasing, affectionate touches, or full-on passion, and his yearning comes through in every intimate moment.

Z - Zzz:

After all the excitement, Wade is more likely to pass out from exhaustion than drift off peacefully. He’s always full of energy, so when he finally crashes, it’s sudden. You might find him snoring almost immediately after, tangled up with you in the aftermath of all the fun

#marvel imagine #x men imagine #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson imagine #wade wilson #deadpool imagine #deadpool x reader #deadpool oneshot #deadpool #x men 97

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rebootgrimm · 2 months ago

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How would each Bachelor help you when you’re on your period? This has been brought to you by mod, who is suffering from their period

Harvey

As a doctor, he knows what it is and how to help.

He asks you if you need anything and gets whatever it is.

Ibuprofen? There’s some in the cabinet and he’s getting you some water with it. It’s out? He can get some more from his shop. Heating pad? He probably has one somewhere. Need more pads? He’s buying you some with wings. Need tampons? He’s buying you those too.

He’s 100% making sure you hydrate the whole day. Water helps a lot.

He’ll get you chocolate (or whatever else you might want), but not too much where it’s unhealthy.

Sam

This man does NOT know what to do, so he asks Jodi for help.

After he figures it out, though, he buys you as much chocolate and soda as he can carry.

He can’t cook, so if you want a home cooked meal he’s either asking Jodi to do it, or ordering from Gus.

If you want cuddles then the two of you are cuddling and watching cartoons all day.

Sam does do his best to take care of the farm if you can’t. It isn’t perfect, but he’s doing his best.

Shane

He knows what’s happening since he prepared to explain it to Jas

If your cramps aren’t too bad, he’ll still go to work, but he’ll check up on you every 30 mins-1 hour.

He’ll also buy you whatever you want before he heads home

If your cramps are really bad? He’s staying home (if he still has sick days left over) and taking care of you.

If he doesn’t have sick days left, he’ll ask Marnie to come over and help (she will).

He also might ask Harvey for advice if your cramps are really bad since Harvey’s a doctor.

Alex

He somewhat knows what’s happening because of Haley, but he isn’t sure how to help since Haley didn’t usually need help with anything.

He’s checking up on you CONSTANTLY to make sure you’re okay.

Need chocolate? He’s either buying you some or seeing if Evelyn has spare cookies.

Speaking of cookies, he will try to make some for you. They end up a bit burnt, but they’re still delicious.

Need water? You now have a gallon jug sitting within arms reach.

You just want some junk food? He’s heading to Gus (or JojaMart if Gus doesn’t have what you want).

He also brings over Dusty to comfort you if you want.

After your period, he’s trying out a period cramp simulator so he knows what you’re going through. He can’t get past level two and almost throws up.

Elliott

This man is making you comfort food himself. You cannot tell me he doesn’t know how to cook.

He’s also keeping you hydrated.

He would read you whatever you want to make you feel better.

He takes you to lay on the beach if you feel up to it.

If you don’t, he gets you a heated blanket and has that lay on you instead.

Cuddles galore.

Like Alex, he tries a period cramp simulator after yours finishes. Unlike Alex, though, he can’t even make it through level one. He cries for a solid 5-10 minutes afterwards.

Sebastian

Good thing he works from home, because that man is doting on you ALL DAY.

He also lets you borrow his hoodie so even if he has to do something, part of him is with you constantly.

This man 100% owns a heated blanket he lets you use. He lives in the literal basement, there’s no way it isn’t cold as hell in the winter time.

He makes you a playlist of angry metal songs to listen to when you get emotional. It surprisingly helps.

He constantly makes sure that you have enough pads / tampons stocked.

The both of you are living solely off of Gus’ food for the whole week. Gus makes really good comfort food.

#sebastian x farmer #sebastian x reader #elliot x reader #elliot x farmer #sam x reader #sam x farmer #Stardew valley #stardew valley bachelors #alex x reader #alex x farmer #shane x farmer #shane x reader #female farmer #harvey x farmer #harvey x reader

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lucky-clover-gazette · 9 days ago

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rating the volo voice lines from pokemon masters ex as i hear them for the first time

youtube

“I’m Volo of the Ginkgo Guild, the go-to choice for your mercantile needs.”

Sounds like he’s practicing his merchant persona in front of a mirror. Very pleased with his own performance. Might break out into song about it. 8/10

“Allow me to present this to you.”

Spot-on cadence of Chris Traeger from Parks and Recreation. 4/10

“Here’s a special treat for you!”

Creepy. Feels like he’s going to hand me a bomb. 2/10

“Oh! It’s looking lively around here.”

Sounds like he thinks he’s too cool for the party you’ve both walked into and wants to know that you hate it too. 7/10

“What a joy to be alive!”

Said with the paradoxical determination and resignation of someone who values his own life too highly to end it, but hates that life so fucking bad. 10/10

“Oh! My heart is racing with excitement!”

Sounds like he just made himself think of something he actually cares about in order to generate enthusiasm about your thing. Also, overdoing it on the “oh,” there. 7/10

“If we use this well, the world will open up.”

Whatever you say, beautiful. What are we talking about? 8/10

“I like you better and better!”

He’s telling the truth, but he likes me for reasons way less innocent and simple than my continued business. Regardless, the praise is appreciated. 10/10

“Fancy running into you again!”

Two possibilities: he very intentionally arranged this meeting and is pretending to be surprised, or he was surprised by the meeting and is pretending to be chill about it. 8/10

“Maybe we’ll get to know each other better now!”

Sounds like he’s about to ask for my social security number, and if I’m into men, and if I’m into giving men my social security number. 6/10

“Of course. I’d be glad to help.”

He’s foaming at the mouth to involve himself in whatever protagonist shit I’m up to right now. 9/10

“I can see a whole new world!”

According to Bulbapedia, he says this “upon reaching max level.” Is that like a relationship level? Does that mean I’m his world? Knowing his motivations in PLA, this could easily have a double meaning—getting close to me, and therefore Arceus, allows him to create a new world. This concerns me less because of the world erasure thing, and more because it might mean he doesn’t actually care about me. 1/10

“Let the battle begin!”

Doing a pretty good job sounding normal with this one. 3/10

“That’s it! Go right ahead!”

According to Bulbapedia he’s saying this to Togepi, which is very sweet. Also explains why it doesn’t sound fake as hell. 10/10

“Here you are!”

He says this to Togepi when he gives her an item in battle, I’m assuming a potion? Which is, again, extremely sweet. 10/10

“Pay me later!”

He says this while “using Trainer move,” which I assume is like his signature flourish during battle. The reference to his merchant persona is clever and he sounds like he’s very proud of it. I’m amused by the implication that I’m supposed to pay him for something, though. Is he helping me or battling me? Both? What are we, Volo? 4/10

“Delightful!”

Accompanies the “nice” emote. I’m not going to complain. 5/10

“Careful now!”

Accompanies the “watch out” emote. He sounds concerned, but like, in a “please don’t inconvenience me with your pain” way. I wish he truly cared, but maybe if I lie to myself, I can believe that he does. 3/10

“I’m filled with curiosity!”

Said with the exact cadence of Grunkle Stan talking to idiot tourists at the Mystery Shack. Ostensibly laughing at himself, but actually laughing at the people who are stupid enough to believe him. 9/10

“Pokemon battles are always good fun!”

He only says this when he wins, which means they’re not always good fun. Makes perfect sense for the character and I like the delivery. 8/10

“Too powerful…”

He says, actively fantasizing about eventually proving himself more powerful. 10/10

“BEHOLD! DESTINY! LEGENDS! UNDONE!”

Bulbapedia identifies these words as things he yells during “unity attack/theme skill.” I have no idea what that means. It sounds to me like he’s accidentally taken a double dose of his ADHD stimulant medication and is just saying whatever the fuck comes to mind. 6/10

“Allow me!”

Said while “switching in.” Assuming he’s helping me, this is rather nice to hear. I’m more than happy to set this strange contemptuous man on my battle opponent. 9/10

“Oh dear, that’s too bad.”

Said while “recalling fainted Pokemon.” Option 1: He’s recalling his Togepi and trying very hard to sound brave about it. 10/10. Option 2: He’s taunting me about my fainted Pokemon with a sickly-sweet condescending tone. Also 10/10.

“Good morning! Are you heading out today?”

I appreciate the casual greeting and barely-contained rabid interest in my protagonist activities. 8/10

“In that case, potions are a must.”

Thoughtful and dedicated to his quotas. It does feel like he’s five seconds from calling me “milady,” though. Wait, in PLA I think he actually does that. It might be “madam.” He’s so embarrassing. 7/10

“The weather outsider is lovely today.”

Sounds like he’s about to take his lunch break so we can enjoy it together. 8/10

“So, how about it? Care to go on an outing with me?”

Already beat him to it. He’s trying so hard to sound chill, but I think if I said no it would ruin his day. Also, what’s with “outing?” Just say “date.” The game knows you’re saying “date.” This is a dating sim. 10/10

“Please, don’t overexert yourself too late at night. I don’t want to lose one of my loyal customers!”

First, that’s what she said. 6/10. Second, he’s negging me again. 9/10. Third, he has other loyal customers?! 0/10

“Ah!”

Sounds like the peanut butter baby from that 2016 viral video. 4/10

“Rrrrrrr…”

Nintendog. 7/10

*Sighs deeply*

Agreed. 9/10

“Yes.”

Me when I say “yes.” 5/10

*Increasingly loud fake bouts of laughter*

This man is going to end up on the news. 10/10

*Evil chuckle, tapering off into deranged humming*

This man is going to end up at the Tony Awards. 10/10

*Bitchy throat clear that turns into a laugh*

This is how he laughs at the PLA protagonist after he insults their “curious getup.” 10/10

“Outstanding!”

He’s high, tipsy, and/or sleep deprived, and someone just suggested getting takeout. 6/10

“As expected…”

Apropos of nothing, but he does like to feel smart. 7/10

“CONGRAAAAAAATULATIONS!!!”

This is perfect. This is a perfect voice line. The voice actor understands the comedy of Volo’s character perfectly. Divine madness aside, he is a merchant NPC almost obsessively invested in the protagonist’s adventures—but unlike many such cases, the narrative both understands and demonstrates how fucking weird and off-putting that is. 1000000/10

“I wish you great fortune.”

Reminds me of the PLA line, “Supporting you now is actually an investment in my own fortunes.” The voice actor nails the double meaning. 7/10

“HOOOOW DARE????!!!!”

I can’t find an explanation for this line. I think it’s just random. He’s so fucking weird. Did he read that in a book? Is he in a bad play? 10/10

*Whimpering*

Took a quick break to walk around my apartment and poorly make the bed. No further comment. ?/10

*Relieved sigh*

It’s a relieved sigh.

*Literal actual moaning*

???????????????????

*Various other noises*

The people in the comments of this video were not exaggerating. Holy shit.

“Have some mercy!”

WHAT IS THIS GAME RATED??????

*Deep sigh* “Now then…”

I have no words. I don’t know. Why does this exist in the way it exists.

“Right! Thank you!”

I feel like I just witnessed something that I did not ask to witness. Does the Ginkgo Guild have a HR department?

“My apologies.”

That is not helping his case.

“Leave it to me!”

Good voice line. Great performance. He would say that. We’re back on track, love it. 5/10

“No thank yewwwwww…”

Bitch. 8/10

“Please!”

“Indeed…”

“That is quite something!”

All very normal. 5/10

“You’re too kind.”

This is the weirdest line delivery yet. He sounds unhinged. Something happened around the 1:19 point of this video that neither of us can pretend didn’t happen. ???/10

“Until next time.”

Spoken like a charming male musical theater lead who just did a little song and dance about his life philosophy. 9/10

“Come on, now.”

Getting weird again. There is nothing I could possibly possess that would necessitate that amount of beleaguered desperation. 6/10

“Let’s get our blood pumping!”

Not on the first date—sorry, outing. ?/10

“The mysteries of the past… oH-hO! How they tICKle my curiosity!”

Sure. Why not. 5/10

“Investigating the odd and novel is key to any good merchant’s success.”

This is delivered pretty much how I would imagine in the game! Also just such a fun line for him—he says this as if it makes all the sense in the world, but it literally doesn’t? It’s a total non-sequitor. Investigating the odd and novel have nothing to do with being a successful merchant, and later in the game he even admits to ditching work to do his research. I’ve always appreciated that part of his characterization—the way he knows that he’s bullshitting everyone and getting away with it, and is simultaneously so smug about his clever ruse and so miserable to be alone in his truth. 10/10

“A HISTORIC MOMENT!”

Deeply bizarre final line for a deeply bizarre character. I hope he says this about mundane shit like dropping a cup of coffee or getting an email. 10/10.

#my conclusion is ????????????#it was somehow more insane than i thought it would be #why did they do this #pla #volo #merchant volo #pokemon masters ex

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ascendanttarot · 1 year ago

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PAC: Messages From Your Spirit Guides

Hi everyone! This PAC will cover whether your spirit guides have any messages or guidance for you. This is a little shorter than the last PAC but only a little bit, promise! I'll list a few signs for every pile before your reading to ensure you have picked the right pile for yourself. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. And! You’ll get a channelled song! :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right: Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3

Pile 1

Signs:

You play guitar or favour the sound of acoustic guitar in your songs

You listen to the following bands/artists: Hozier, Florence + the Machine, Mitski, and other similar artists

This is a weird one, but when cleaning you like buying the sprays/wipes/detergent with a fruitier smell?

You like going on nature walks

You read poetry

Your cards: The Tower, Queen of Cups rx, (clarified by the Six of Swords rx) Page of Wands

Your message: Something unfolded in ways you could have never imagined. It’s like all your backup plans fell apart too, and your optimism has been taken away from you. I just heard ‘victim of circumstance’. This is a difficult message to give, but your guides are saying whatever happened, happened beyond anyone’s control. You tried to shield yourself from these difficult emotions by hardening your heart, creating distance between you and your feelings... but you’re spirit guides are asking you, “Is this really worth it all?”. It won’t be an easy feat to move on from this situation, and your guides understand that. However, they’re saying that when the time comes and the right opportunity is in front of you to take that first step of healing, please take it. The best part of your life requires a childlike sense of wonder. It’s going to require a lot more determination and ambition than what you’re feeling now. Your guides are saying to take your time to feel messy, and when it’s time to heal, don’t rush yourself to do that too. They’re here for you if you ask them. They believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself, but they are waiting patiently and happily for a time when you’ll start standing by your back too.

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Song: In Your Own Sweet Time by Zaska, Karen Cowley and Hozier

Pile 2

Signs:

You have an alternative sense of style

You love 80s music. I just heard Wham and The Cure to name a few of the bands that popped up in my intuition

Odd sign to give, but you may have had a vaporwave phase? If you know, you know

You like Fantasy and Sci-Fi books and shows

Another odd message to give here—you may be sensitive to touch, but it goes both ways? Like you can only wear certain fabrics, or you like soft things, but also people may say you give good hugs

Your Cards: 8 of Swords rx, 6 of Cups, The World

Your Message: I just saw the image of your spirit guides popping open a bottle of champagne with a knife before chucking (yes, that violently) streamers and confetti! You know why? Because. You. Did. That. You’ve just come out of a period in your life when you had to do some intense shadow work. You’ve worked on your biases, and have started to fix your flawed systems on your environment and yourself; your spirit guides could not be more proud of you. They’re celebrating 24 hours a day 7 days a week because that chapter of your life is over! This new phase of your life will be given gently to you with the love and compassion you deserve. I think this may be an opportunity to let yourself be seen by others again. At the very least you’ll be hanging out with old friends and making new ones, but at the most, I’m seeing possibly an opportunity for a project to start online. Either way, your spirit guides will have your back for that in the future. For now, though, they’re asking you to put your feet up and high-five yourself for how far you’ve come!

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Song: Blame It on the Boogie by The Jacksons (I’m serious, they’re having a party right now haha!)

Pile 3

Signs:

You prefer the dusk over the dawn

You like RnB, so artists like Victoria Monét and Ashanti might be familiar artists to have in your playlists. I also heard Destiny’s Child and Ms. Lauryn Hill

I feel like you might like, collect, or work with crystals and metals. I just saw some people here may wear protective jewellery

You like sports, or were heavily involved in sports when you were younger, but you aren’t anymore

I just heard ‘helping hand’, so you may just be a really helpful and generous person. You’d be the friend people go to if they need advice on something

Your Cards: 2 of Wands, 2 of Swords, King of Cups

Your Message: Okay this feels pretty straightforward. Your spirit guides want you to know that you’re coming into a divine partnership (not necessarily romantic if that’s not you’re thing or if you’re aromantic, so this could be a friendship or a business partner even) very soon. With the emphasis on the number two in this reading, this may correlate with timings in your life. You may meet this person in 2 weeks, 2 months, or even within the span of 2 years, but there’s a strong message of divine timing working in your favour. I feel you may have issues trusting the people around you to have good intentions because of negative experiences in the past. This person won’t break that mental belief for you, you’ll do that yourself, but they will certainly be the catalyst for it. Maybe the reason why you’re so jaded is because you’ve hoped for this so long the hope soured to cynicism, but this is not the natural state of your soul. This person will offer you the emotionally mature partnership you’ve dreamed of, with a sensitivity for you and your feelings you aren’t used to. Your spirit guides can’t wait for you to meet them because I’m hearing this relationship will be healing for all the parties involved. They’re with you on this every step of the way.

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Song: Love Is on My Side by Brandy

#pick a card #pac #pick a pile #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #divination #spirituality #witchcraft #witchblr #witches of tumblr #spirit guides #spirit guidance

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bachissidehoe · 1 year ago

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shut the door - bachira m.

chapter 2 of 7 of the blue lock band series. chapter 1. chapter 3. chapter 4. chapter 5. chapter 6. chapter 7.

synopsis: it doesn't take long in her time working as Blue Lock's journalist for y/n to have to face the fact that she's not the only one isagi wants. and if he can have more than just her, she can have more than just him.

warnings: smut; penetration; oral giving; oral receiving; squirting; praise; pet kink; tears; hair pulling; hickeys; fem reader minors DNI

disclaimer: all songs referenced are credited to THE DEEP END

w.c. 3.2k

“Are you for real?”

“Yeah, obviously. I did some research, and you have a degree in journalism and another one in advertising. I’ll pay you double what you make now.” Mikage explains, turning his clipboard around to show her the salary he’s offering her.

“And you want me to just drop everything and tour with you?” She stares at the large number with wide eyes. It’s a tempting offer, and an extremely tempting salary.

“Um, yeah.”

“Mikage-”

“Call me Reo.” He interrupts. “Mikage’s my father.” He winks.

“Okay, R-reo. I just, I want to but- I have an apartment and a car and a job…” She trails off.

“Any kids?”

“Huh? No?”

“Pets?” He asks.

“No.”

“Okay, then I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll pay your lease while you’re on tour, I’ll send some people in to clean for you, clear out your refrigerator, grab all your clothes, I’ll send a letter to your current job, whatever you need.” He says with a smile. He really is making an offer she can’t refuse. “So whaddya say?”

She pauses briefly, but they both know her answer. “Okay. I’m in.”

And it’s been two weeks now, two weeks of being Blue Lock’s professional journalist. Reo explained that though the band blew up quickly, information about them is only circulating in one small genre of individuals, and their network is not expanding. Having a journalist to publish interviews with them, write articles about their shows, generate social media campaigns, it’ll all be much more effective if it’s someone who already knows the band pretty well. So far it’s been working tremendously, they’ve been booked for interviews with magazines and television programs worldwide, their singles are being advertised by other famous bands, and a second song of theirs, “Shut The Door”, went viral on TikTok.

This also means it’s been two weeks now of fucking- or rather being fucked by- Isagi Yoichi. It’s not like Reo doesn’t know of it, they all know. But Reo’s philosophy is this: if she’s fucking the band, she’ll have emotional ties to them, which will come out in her writing and advertising for them. Of course, the extent of their relationship will be kept out of the public eye, but other than that, the band manager sees this only as a good thing.

It’s what he tells her as they stand off to the side of the stage, watching the boys soundcheck for their final show of a three-day stretch. They’re exhausted by now, but at least after this they get a two day break.

“So you’re telling me you’re less than concerned with the public finding out that our lead singer is fucking our journalist?” The stage director Bachira Meguru, who y/n has also grown close with over the past two weeks, adds his two-sense.

“If it gets our name out there, I couldn’t care less who any of us is fucking.” Reo says matter-of-factly, spoken like a true businessman.

“You talk about me fucking Isagi like it’s nothing.” Y/n chuckles nervously, her eyes darting between Reo and Bachira.

“Sweetheart,” Bachira smiles, a demon-like smile that might portray a hint of psychosis. “You think you’re the only one Isagi’s fucking?”

The words hit like a blade through her chest. “I- well- b-wha-”

Reo sighs. “I’m sorry, y/n, I know I can be harsh with what I expect of you, I’m just trying to say that I’m doing the best I can think to do for the future of the band. I don’t want to put your emotions at risk, but I also want you to be able to separate them from your job.”

“I, yeah, I understand. I am.” She nods profusely, her unconvincing sentence prompting a shared look between the two backstage band members.

She can’t help but worry about Bachira’s comment, she worries about it throughout their entire concert. She watches backstage as the loud music blares through the speakers, Isagi’s voice striking down on the crowd like magic, Nagi and Chigiri’s background vocals adding shimmer to the air around them.

She decides not to bring it up to Bachira again, it’s not like he’s been very good at hiding his obvious attraction for her since she got here, so he’s probably just jealous. But it doesn’t matter what she tells herself, she just can’t shake it. Does Isagi really not like her? Is he really just fucking her? It’s not like she expected they’d be in a relationship or anything, but maybe he would have told her if he was hooking up with other girls.

“Something on your mind, beautiful?” Bachira catches her alone in the hallway, taking a breather after they finished their show.

“Hm? Bachira- oh-” She chuckles nervously.

“You seem to not like when I flirt much.” He laughs.

“No, um, it’s just that, you know-” She struggles.

“It’s Isagi, hm?” He reads her, not that it would be difficult to piece it together.

She doesn’t respond, but he’s right of course. In fact, the way that all of the band members look at her is arousing, like they’re all just waiting for their turn. She hasn’t brought it up to Isagi, even though he’d probably be able to get them to stop. But the truth is, she likes it. She loves that kind of attention from them, she loves how flirty they all are, she loves knowing that she could have any one of them. And Bachira- perhaps the most forward of the seven of them- y/n didn’t expect to find him so damn attractive.

He likes to touch her- whether it’s casually putting his arm around her, or coming up behind her and squeezing her shoulders, or moving a piece of hair out of her eyes. And every single time it’s like a spark is ignited in her body. Every little touch, every playful comment, it flips a switch inside her. She finds herself watching him a lot of the time, watching him direct the tech services workers on where to place equipment, watching him assign the band members to their stage positions, and watching him work with the sound engineers to equalize the four sets of vocals. Everything Bachira Meguru does, he does it with that little demon smile, the same one he’s giving her now.

“You don’t have to tell me, I know it’s about Isagi. You’re upset because he never told you you’re not exclusive, am I right?” He asks, leaning against the wall next to her.

“We have yet to have that conversation.” Y/n bites the inside of her cheek, trying to avoid looking into those enthralling golden eyes.

“Look, y/n, I’ve known Yoichi since we were 16 years old. I know how he is- all sweet on the outside and a menace on the inside. I love him to death, but someone’s gotta tell you what’s really going on- or you’ll get attached.” He sighs.

Y/n doesn’t say anything, just looks around, hoping his words don’t make her start suddenly crying. It’s not like she expected to date Isagi, but it’s also true that her feelings for him haven’t exactly lessened since their arrangement.

“Just come with me.” He continues, grabbing her hand.

Y/n hasn’t spent every single night with Isagi, not even half the nights. Since starting her job, she’s had a lot less time to hang out with him alone, but when they get a moment, Isagi’s been all over her. It really didn’t feel to her like he’d be actively wanting anyone else. But as Bachira directs her behind the door of one of the backstage dressing rooms, it becomes clear to y/n that she’s been dead wrong.

They can only catch a bit of the conversation, but Isagi stands with two extremely attractive women, discussing how they can sneak off somewhere, how they can meet him in his hotel room later, how they should come to the bar with him. Y/n can’t help but feel a lump in her throat as Bachira pulls her away from the saddening scene.

“I’m sorry y/n, you just needed to see what’s really going on.” Bachira apologizes.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Are you gonna talk to him?” He asks.

“Why would I talk to him?” She chuckles, feeling her sadness turning into an anger that burns in her chest. He could have at least talked to her about it. “If he can fuck who he wants so can I. I need to stop chasing his approval.”

“Atta girl, plenty of guys would kill to fuck you.” He flashes her a flirty smile.

Maybe it’s not the best decision, but right now, the only thing y/n wants is to stick it to Isagi. Show him that she doesn’t need him as anything more than a casual friend with benefits, maybe even just a colleague. Show him it doesn’t bother her at all that he’s fucking other girls behind her back. And what better way to stick it to Isagi, than to fuck his best friend?

“You included?” She asks, rocking forward onto the balls of her feet.

“I may as well be the president of the guys who’d kill to fuck you, if I’m honest.” He flirts.

“Good, let’s go.” She grabs his wrist, pulling him in the direction they came from.

“Where are we going?” Bachira giggles.

“I dunno, don’t laugh at me.” She replies, determined.

“Okay, let me lead the way then.” He takes control, his touch putting her under his spell.

It’s easy to fall into his grip, he can get in her head so easily. She hardly remembers getting back to his hotel room, by the time she snaps back to reality, she’s being led through the door and swiftly spun around.

“Shut the door.” He says with a smirk, pushing her back against the door as it closes. “Keep me from the things that I don’t know~” He hums the lyrics of the song he referenced, his voice muffled every time he places wet kisses to her neck.

“I need it, Bachira.” She whines, confidently wrapping her arms around him, her movements begging for him to keep going, to keep leaving sharp kisses on her skin. She can only hope he’ll bruise her, wanting everyone to see that she’s not Isagi’s pet- she can do whatever she wants. And right now, she wants the gorgeous stage director who’s teeth graze her skin and who’s tongue sloppily traces over the marks he leaves.

‘You need it.” He huffs. “Desperate kitty.”

“K-huh?” She feels her knees grow weaker at the pet name he chooses. Maybe she’s not Isagi’s pet, but it certainly seems like she’s become Bachira’s.

“So obedient for me, yet somehow still so cold. My little kitty.” He breathes against her neck, the pads of his fingers reaching her thigh. “Jump.” He says, holding onto her thighs as he presses her back harder into the door, holding her above his head.

And he kisses her, a much smoother, more calculated kiss than Isagi’s. His careful movements are somewhat contradictory to his eccentric personality, but the fact that he continues to make unexpected decisions is still right on brand. It’s like she’s in another world, Bachira Meguru’s world. His plump lips overpower hers in such a beautiful way, sucking her bottom lip between them like she’s a mere piece of candy for him to snack on.

“Sweet lil pretty thing~” He hums, breaking their kiss for only a moment before joining their lips together again, trapping her bottom lip between his teeth once more. This time, he bites down, just enough to force a surprised wince from the depths of her throat. And he chuckles, that same unreadable demonic chuckle.

“Don’t even wanna take y’to the bed kitty, wanna fuck y’against this door.” He murmurs, blocking any chance of her responding by shoving his tongue deep into her mouth, his fingernails digging deep into her thighs as he continues to hold her up. She doesn’t know how he intends to fuck her like this, she’s surprised he’s even still holding her up.

He quickly proves her concerns futile, as he uses only his upper body to keep her pressed into the door as one of his hands slips inside his pants, and the other slips under her skirt and panties. His hard cock pokes out from the top of his sweatpants as he grunts, finally pushing his sweatpants down enough to entirely expose himself to her.

Her breaths get heavier as he pushes her panties to the side, not even showing her the decency to take them off first.

“There y’go.” He holds his cock up with one hand, her legs wrapped tightly around him as she takes his lead, lowering her body slowly onto his tip. “That’s it kitty, there y’go, push it all the way in- ah yes~ like that~” He gasps, feeling her fully sheathe herself onto him, her legs already shaking as she tries to keep up with the unfamiliar position.

“That’s a good girl~” He grunts, holding her body against the door as he fucks up into her, thrusting into parts of her only this position could reach, parts that turn her into putty in his hands. “Be a good little kitty.” His voice is hoarse, his eyes dark as he slams into her soaked cunt, her wetness dripping down his shaft.

Her muscles are sore as she holds herself up around him, but she fucking loves it. She loves being fucked like a pet with no control over her own body. He’s so strong, and hot, and fuck. His cock feels so damn good inside her, forcing her pussy to clench around him repeatedly, practically begging for him to stay inside her forever.

It’s likely anyone walking by the hotel room is welcomed with the sounds of the door slamming over and over, but Bachira doesn’t seem to care. In fact, he loves being loud. He hopes everyone hears. “Ah~ that’s it, such a tight little pussy f’me, hm? Isagi wasn’t enough to stretch you out? Guess not~”

Her hands find his hair, gripping on his blonde highlights with a strength she didn’t know she had, biting on her own bottom lip to prevent her from screaming aloud, instead limiting herself to quieted whimpers and light moans. “Meguru~” His first name tickles her tongue like it’s a curse, like she shouldn’t be allowed to say it, like he shouldn’t be allowed to be making her feel this way.

With a few more harsh thrusts that y/n is surprised didn’t split her body in half, his grip loosens, and he quickly grabs her hips as he practically drops her on her knees below him.

“Open. G’na cum in that pretty little mouth~” He breathes in, squeezing his cock with one hand as his other makes its way into her hair, roughly positioning her head in front of him. “Look at you, a mess f’me kitty.” He slurs, tauntingly tracing over her soft cheek as her mouth falls open for him.

He slides his pink tip between her lips, letting her clamp them down around him as she laps at his leaking hole with her tongue. And he pushes it in further, holding her head in place so she can’t pull away as he challenges her abilities. Y/n was confident, but she’s never sucked a dick this big. Before he’s even half way, her eyes are brimming with tears.

“Y’can take it y/n, pretty kitty, I know y’can take it.” His voice is tight as he manages quick, fast breaths. The sight of her is immaculate. The girl Isagi Yoichi thought he had tied down, with her mascara streaming down her face as his cock is buried in her throat, her dazed eyes peering up at him. And he’s gonna make a mess of her.

“Hmm~” She hums, doing her best to hollow her throat to fit more of him.

He twitches, thrusting into her dirty mouth with his grip tightened around her hair, forcing it down her throat regardless of whether she can take it or not.

“That’s good~ mhm~ g’na cum~” He hums, nearly bottoming out before shooting his thick load directly into the back of her throat.

She swallows quickly, doing everything she can to take every single drop of what he gives her. His grip loosens on her hair as he slides his cock out from between her lips, finally letting her take in a deep breath.

“S’ry a little rough kitty? My bad, pretty girl~” He grabs her hips, pulling her to her shaky feet. “Such a good job swallowing f’me huh, you got every last drop.”

“Mhm.” She nods, trying to regain her composure.

“I’ll make it up to you, pretty. Lay down.” He pulls her toward the unused hotel bed, watching her collapse backward, her legs hanging off the edge.

“Was good, was so good.” She manages through her breathless, fucked-out state.

Bachira chuckles. “Boutta be better, though.” He kneels on the side of the bed, hooking a finger under her panties that never managed to make it off when he fucked her, finally pulling them down her smooth legs. “Sit back and feel good now, sweetheart. Kitty deserves a reward. Good girl.” He praises, spreading her thighs apart as he presses his lips to her dripping cunt.

He eats her like he hasn’t eaten in weeks, his tongue lapping up every bit of her he can get a taste of, fucking it into her used hole like he’s trying to clear every drop. He alternates between fucking her with his tongue and flicking her clit, licking short wet stripes across the sensitive bud of fleshy ecstasy.

His nails loosen on her thighs, letting her clench them around his head as if he wants her to crush him. And maybe he does.

He hums into her pussy like he’s singing it to sleep, hungrily drinking her up like it’s just as good for him as it is for her. Her body shakes around his tongue, the clit stimulation sending mini electric pulses up and down her body, forcing her brain into a fucked-out overdrive.

“Meguru~ Ah- close~” She manages through breathy moans, the pulses firing too fast for her to keep up. It’s a different feeling than usual, a more complicated feeling, like she can’t control her body anymore. There’s something else there besides just her orgasm, but it’s too intense for her to figure it out before she releases. “C-cumming-” She stutters.

Bachira plunges his tongue inside her to catch her orgasm, surprised when she squirts around him, the liquid spilling out and soaking the sheets below her.

“Oh fuck-” She breathes, not expecting him to make her squirt like that. She’s definitely never done that before. “S-sorry- I-”

“Mmm kitty~” He comes up for air, his eyes half lidded. “That was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

She can only nod and catch her breath as he attaches his lips to her inner thigh, bringing her down from her high by biting and sucking on her sensitive skin.

“Bet Isagi couldn’t make you do that.” He smirks.

#blue lock #anime #fanfic #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock smut #bllk smut #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bachira meguru #bachira x reader #bachira meguru smut #bachira smut #fanfiction #anime fanfic #anime smut #band au #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer

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hecates-corner · 23 days ago

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THE VENGEANCE SAGA

🌊 SPOILERS AHEAD 🌊

PLUS, MENTIONS OF S.A.

🔱 NOT SORRY FOR LOVING YOU

Even though Calypso’s actions infuriate me, her actress’ voice (Barbara Wangui) is incredible and so compelling. She sounds like a lotus flower, and just that notion is marvelous, now that I say that. She is the island of the lotus eaters, and I do really like that she isn’t blindly in love with Odysseus.

She can see she hurt him, but she still believes she was in the right. She’s sorry she did all she did, but she wouldn’t take a single moment back. Calypso only admits she’s wrong for “pushing” him. This allusion only shows that she regrets the pain she caused him when she forced him into bed with her, for several years. But does she regret the action?

It’s so well written, an apologist song to make excuses for her. But still, it’s only meant to toy with your emotions. And yet, she doesn’t play the “one song character”, the “tiny plot point”. Jorge gave her pain, and anguish, and loss. He made her seem human, while still holding the godlike apathy and blamelessness.

🔱 DANGEROUS

And onto my favorite song, for the reason alone that it’s a crazy banger with HERMES IN IT! I knew half of this song when it came out, and can lip sync this in my sleep. By the gods, it’s incredible.

Ahem. Right, the analysis. Okay.

Odysseus’ first four of lament in the beginning hurt extra hard when the silence plays out. The crew would have responded… had they lived.

(Anyone else getting nostalgia for last winter from this?? How fast time goes! We have one saga left, and— shoot, right. Ahem ahem.)

And then, the beloved Trickster Lord comes whirling into frame. Dancing. I can just FEEL the light-up floor, the disco ball… you’d think he and Hera would be good friends, huh?

This gives us a little glimpse into Hermes’ lordly self. That he is great with instructions, that he’s almost prophetic with them. He’s not specific, he’s vague, but looking back, you can only go, “OHHHH!” Hermes is a cunning god, and aside from that, he lifts Odysseus’ spirits. He really is Odysseus’ friend.

And then the parallels. To Wouldn’t You Like, to Keep Your Friends Close. Ouch. No, wow. No, scratch that— both.

It makes me wonder if Odysseus “Danger is my middle name” of Ithaca will ever figure out that Athena rooted for him, in the end. Makes me wonder if we’ll hear from Athena again.

🔱 CHARYBDIS

GYATT DAMN. TALK ABOUT INCREDIBLE?!

THIS might be my favorite song, for the typical reasons. You can hear the actions, and when I watched the animatics, it only showed me what I pictured. Perfectly portrayed.

I avoided spoilers for this song, not knowing how good it would be. Damn, am I glad.

Storm parallels, of course. And then, the sheer terror and turn of relief, when suddenly you realize he’s not as close as he thought he was. One last obstacle.

Love the fact that when he sings, “So if you don’t have much to say,” you realize Charybdis won’t be singing. I adored that. This song shows off how smart Odysseus really is.

🔱 GET IN THE WATER

This song is just plain terrifying. It’s scary. It’s cold.

The screaming shakes me to my core. At first, I hadn’t been fully on board (haha) with the choice of Poseidon’s voice actor, and then I took a few more listens to Ruthlessness, and reevaluated that thought. Besides that, he’s quite literally perfect for this song, specifically.

Let me tell you that Steven Rodriguez understood the assignment when he was told to say, “I can’t,” “No,” and “Ruthlessness is … mercy upon … ourselves … DIE!”

Realizing that the line about “gouging [his] son’s eyes” is a cheeky revenge for Polyphemus is incredible. You know what’s funny? Poseidon and Odysseus aren’t so different from each other.

Especially now.

Besides that, oh god, the memories of his loved ones singing into his “final moments” is painful. Thought we’d heard the last of Polites, Jorge? REMEMBER, JORGE?

It’s a double entendre, too. They’re singing to him, telling him to keep going, and yet, they’re telling him that they’re waiting for him, too. Now… some for better, and some for worse.

Will they forgive him the same way he’s forgotten how to do, when he dies?

🔱 SIX HUNDRED STRIKE

Aka, Poseidon discovers the indomitable human spirit.

Let me tell you, hearing the guitar made me gasp. Missed that riff, in all its glory and power, let me tell you. Plus, the wind bag’s theme, too!

This is a boss battle. That’s it. I swear to god, put the instrumental of this banger in Hades by Supergiant.

The screaming in this really made the song. The voice acting. The change of tone. The change of Odysseus’ tone. He’s never been afraid to talk back to gods, has he?

I was only miffed that there was blood on the trident in the animation, and not ichor. But that’s what you get when you’ve been devoted to Greek mythology all of your life, you become an accuracy snob. All in all though, I ADORED that animation. Like… holy shit. Holy FUCKING SHIT!!!

Then, the stabbing and gasping. Poseidon attempting to make him feel bad, second-guess himself, by screaming and calling him a monster.

“Look what you’ve turned me into! Look what we’ve become!” Odysseus KNOWS that he and Poseidon are similar. Fathers willing to defend their honor, and the honor of their sons. However, Poseidon was always defending his own honor, and Odysseus was always protecting the lives of those involved.

And the CHOKING NOISES from POSEIDON??

“After everything you’ve done… how will you sleep at night?”

“Next to my wife.”

AND I GASPED. AND I CHEERED!!!!!!!!!!!

On a much more hilarious note, I saw @justvea18 post a version of this meme as Poseidon. Was giggling my ass off. Go check it out, please.

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freetobee1216 · 1 month ago

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Hi I'm writing a Zutara fic and this is the first chapter

Warning, literally zero mention of Zuko yet, I plan for this to be the slowest of slow burns. Also I change cannon slightly, basically the events of the show take place over the course of 3 years instead of 6 month, just cuz I think it makes more sense.

Anyways, enjoy chapter one!

Chapter 1:

The wind ripped at her howling skin as she tried to manage the swelling gathering under her eyes. Far below, she could feel the crashing ocean waves of her element calling to her, screaming a familiar song that sounded like home. Pull yourself together she scolded herself, Aang was expecting her for dinner. Katara took one deep breath. Two. Three, and the emotions that moments ago were ruling her every action, telling her to run to where she belonged, ceased to exist.

Walking away from the cliff that overlooked the clouds swirling around the southern air temple, she stuffed the crumpled letter deep into her pocket. She could hear the sounds of meditation instruments coming from the gardens. Here, the newest air acolytes were coming to terms with their decision to turn their back on the life they once knew in order to follow the teachings of the Air Nation. A worth cause, a good decision, but that fact still couldn’t take away the sting of homesickness.

Raja, a girl from the southern tip of the Earth Kingdom, sat cross legged struggling to focus on her breathing. Her knee kept bouncing at an alarming rate and her eyebrows were so scrunched together that they looked like a unibrow. Katara waved to the girl and she sheepishly smiled back. Raja was sweet, only a year younger than Katara at 18, and the two had become fast friends in the month she had been here. Katara raised her eyebrows at her friend as if to say, need a break? Raja quietly looked at the rest of her group, specifically at Angi, the group leader, to see them all peacefully meditating. She silently stood up off the orange pillow and tip-toed to the path where Katara was waiting for her. The pair linked arms as they walked trying not to laugh and get Raja caught for playing hooky. When they cleared the corner and the music faded into the wind, they both broke into barks of laughter.

“You looked like your head was about to explode back there,” Katara said through her snorts.

“I honestly thought it would, I just can’t seem to get this sitting still concept.” Raja laughed back. “They’re doing that for the next hour, hopefully no one will notice I left.”

“I doubt it, wanna help me cook some dinner in the meantime?” Katara asked her friend.

“Yeah, anything other than that sounds good to me, what’s on the menu tonight?” She responded gratefully.

The pair went off to the vegetable patch to grab some ingredients then spent the next half an hour cooking together. Raja told her all about the drama with the new acolytes; who was just trying to rebel against their parents, who had already been caught hooking up, and who was out to steal her boyfriend. Katara laughed at all her friend’s stories, she had a way of imitating the others and embellishing just the right amount to make the story compelling. She was also aware of the many girls who joined the acolytes just to try and get closer to Aang, though she didn’t feel that pang of jealousy like she used to. She assumed she was just so desensitised to it at this point. Two and a half years of fending off pursuers and watching your boyfriend be absolutely oblivious to it, will do that to a girl.

“So, are you gonna pull out some master waterbending on the new ones to clear them off?” Raja joked as she chopped up carrots.

“Honestly? I don’t really care anymore, is that bad? O-or mad?” Katara contemplated while stirring the stew boiling beneath her making her face flush.

“Or wise?” Raja interjected adding in the carrots to the large cauldron.

“But, shouldn’t I feel something? You know just something more than nothingness?” Katara blurted out before she could help herself, these were thoughts that shouldn’t be voiced. Katara hid her face from her friend as she went to grab some herbs from the shelf on the other side of the kitchen.

Raja was quiet for a little bit before smoothing over with, “I think its fine, I mean it’s not like any of those girls are a threat to what you and Aang have, he loves you and would never cheat on you with some floozy.” She laughed out the last bit.

Katara swallowed and turned back to her friend with a smile and joked back, “Oh he’d never even dream of that, he knows he couldn’t take me in a fight if he did.”

The girls dragged the bulky cauldron filled with the vegetable stew out to the communal mess hall on the other side of the door. The room was already filling with hungry acolytes and Katara heard Raja curse under her breath. A stern looking Angi was stomping her way through the crowd that was gathering and making a beeline straight for Raja.

Raja sighed, “Well, I gotta go deal with her wrath, this is the third mediation I’ve skipped out of this week.”

“Wait, it was my fault, please let me talk to her,” Katara said, guilt spreading through her bones.

“Nah, it was my choice, I was looking for any excuse, don’t worry about it,” she said before skipping up to Angi. Katara could hear he start to apologize when she felt someone sneak up behind her.

The master bender was about to steal the water from her pouch and get ready to fight when she felt a pair of familiar hands cover her eyes. “Guess who?” the voice said. Aang.

Katara’s shoulders relaxed and she turned around to give her boyfriend a hug, “Hey Aang.”

“The stew smells great, thanks for cooking tonight! I know it wasn’t your night, but Sheejik wasn’t feeling great and I didn’t know who else to ask” Aang apologised.

“It’s fine, I like having something to do, should we grab a bowl and go to our normal spot?” Katara asked.

“Yeah, sounds great!” Aang said. Normally, they would eat in the mess hall with the rest of the air acolytes, but occasionally the two would sneak off to the private balcony downstairs that was build directly into the cliffside. It was beautiful, overlooking the other mountain islands in the sunset. It was a place where they could feel both of their native elements, the ocean below and the whipping winds around them. It had felt balanced, or well, it mostly did.

“The sunset is beautiful tonight,” Aang remarked. It was burning a bright orange that let into a salmon-like pink on the edges of their vision. The waves below perfectly reflected the light of the sun, and far to the east, dots are starlight where starting to breakthrough the periwinkle.

“Yeah, it is,” Katara said, being drawn to the last lights of the sun.

“Not as beautiful as you though,” Aang said softly.

Katara once might have blushed at a comment like that, but she was far too mature now. At least, that’s what she thought was keeping the heat from creeping up her neck. She did however paint a smile on her face and lean over to kiss his cheek, when she puled away Aang was bright red. “Thank you.”

“Have you, uh heard from Sokka?” Aang asked changing the topic.

Katara felt the letter in her pocked multiply in weight tenfold, “Uh yeah, you?”

“I got an awesome letter from him this afternoon, he’s been named Chief in Training! And he told me all about his plans to expand the Southern Water Tribe with the aid they’re getting from both the North and the Fire Nation. It’s really great what he’s doing down there,” Aang rambled on about things Katara already knew about.

She tried to hide her face by looking south towards her home, “Ye-yeah, I got a letter today too.”

“You don’t sound that excited,” Aang noticed.

“Well, I just, I don’t know Aang, it’s a lot of change.” Katara said, frustration beginning to build in her chest.

“But change is good Katara, it’s a natural part of life,” Aang tried to reason with her.

“I know that,” she snapped, then tried to regain control over her words when she saw his hurt face, “It’s just, it’s hard that all of this is happening without me.”

“All of it is happening because of you Katara, without what me, you and Sokka did, going to the Northern Water Tribe and getting them to care about the South again, stopping the war. Without that, this wouldn’t be happening.” Aang said.

“But it’s not fair! That’s my home, and it’s changing without me there! Am I even going to be able to recognize it when I return? What if the North takes over too much? What if I wake up one day and my culture is so different it doesn’t make sense anymore and I did nothing to stop it because I wasn’t there?” Katara yelled, her anger and confusion bubbling up to the surface.

“Katara, it’s going to be okay; you just have to trust in your tribe, they’ll find the right way,” Aang tried to reassure her, grabbing hold of her hand.

“It’s not about trust it’s-” Katara started pulling her hand away, but then she sighed. He doesn’t understand her anger, how could he? He has to put all of his hope into trust at the moment for his nation, or else there would be nothing left. He is trusting these new members from all over the world to find it’s way back to some semblance of the Air Nation and what he lost all those years ago. Looking at Aang, she sees the scared homeless kid from the iceberg, the pain that is still there hiding under the surface. She takes a deep breath and dissipates her anger, grabbing back hold of his hand; this isn’t something that is helpful for him to hear. “You’re right, it’s all going to work out, I was just being anxious. Of course, Sokka will figure it out.”

Aang smiled at her and leans in for a kiss, she closes her eyes and reaches within herself to try and feel how she used it, something small in her chest tried to wiggle its way out, but it feels as if it has been locked away. Their lips touch and she’s just going through the motions. It’s fine, she tells herself, this is just what happens when you’ve been a couple for a while.

The door behind them bursts open and a young boy no more than age 13 named Ren blushes profusely, “I am so sorry Master Aang to bother you and your girlfriend, but there is a reporter from Ba Sing Sei here and he wanted to get an interview about the progress of the Air Nation,” he blurts out in one single breath.

“Uh yeah, Katara do you mind?” He asks, still concerned about their earlier discussion.

“Of course, send them in.” Katara says giving Ren a maternal smile, not wanting to make the boy any more akward than he already looked.

“Of course!” he squeaks out and turns down the hall. They can hear him say something to the other side of the door then pronouncing, “Right this way sir.”

A well-dressed man in his mid-20s appears at the threshold. He is wearing a traditional Earth Nation robe and sports the most fashionable facial hair in Ba Sing Sie, a well-groomed moustache and goatee. He gives a low bow in the way of greeting towards Aang, “Avatar Aang, it is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Manu Sho and I have been writing for some time about the tireless efforts you have been making towards restoring the Air Nation with the Air Acolytes. It would be an honour if I could receive an interview with you.”

“Of course, come join us, Katara and I were just finishing our dinner, would you like a bowl as well?” Aang offered.

“That would be lovely,” he said and looked expectantly at Katara. “Oh, you must be Katara, Avatar Aang’s faithful girlfriend.”

Katara squirmed in her seat a bit but said, “Yeah, that’s me.”

“And you are from the Watertribe?” he asked gesturing to her outfit.

“Yeah, from the South, that’s where I first found Aang.” Katara said, feeling as though she was being looked at through a microscope.

“It must have been so nice for you to get to travel with the Avatar and learn waterbending from him!” He said joyfully.

“Oh, actually, I was Aang’s teacher.” Katara said, and edge entering into her voice. This wasn’t the first time she had to clarify this.

“I thought the Avatar was taught by Master Pakku in the North?” Manu said in confusion.

“Well yeah for about a month or two, but I was the one teaching him for almost 3 years,” Katara said haughtily.

“Yeah, Katara is a master waterbender!” Aang added in helpfully.

“Oh, I’m sorry I was misinformed,” the reporter said looking more like the uncomfortable one now. Good, Katara thought to herself. “Um, may I have some of the stew please?”

“Oh right, of course, uh Katara, would you mind grabbing Manu a serving?” Aang asked trying to smooth over the rough interaction.

“Sure,” Katara said through her teeth and crossed arms. She stomped back upstairs to the mess hall and grabbed Manu a serving, muttering to herself the whole time about blatant sexism and forgotten female narratives. When she returned, Aang and Manu were laughing together, talking about cabbages.

“Here you go,” Katara said shoving the bowl into Manu’s hands, then sat down next to Aang. Manu looked a bit unsure at Katara, but she was refusing to move. She had been helping with the efforts to rebuild the Air Nation just as much as Aang was. Katara stared the journalist down in a dare, he didn’t take the bait. Instead, he continued to ask about the progress from the last two years after the war ended. Both Aang and Katara answered his questions about the acolytes, the program they were following, the diet and efforts to restore traditional Air Nation vegetables in the gardens, the newest recruits, everything. It was going pretty well and Katara had calmed herself down now that Manu was actively listening to her. But then it happened; he brought up the idea of kids. This was something she and Aang had been avoiding speaking about ever since they got into a huge argument last month about it.

“The air acolytes are great, but when are you planning on hopefully producing the new generation of airbenders?” Manu asked bluntly looking between the two of them.

“I’m sorry what?” Katara asked her mood going south immediately.

“The new generation of airbenders, when will you be producing them?” he asked as if she were slow.

“Yeah, I heard your question, what I don’t understand is why you are asking it,” Katara snapped at him.

“Well, Ms. Katara, it’s an important question, the world is out of balance, we will be needing more airbenders,” he said.

“Well, Katara and I aren’t sure on the timeline,” Aang answered trying to be diplomatic.

“Aang, I do not want to discuss this publicly,” Katara hissed at him.

“You are a few months away from being 20 are you not? And the Avatar has just turned 18, that is a perfectly respectable age to start having children, especially because you will probably need to have a lot in order to get the new generatio-” Manu began.

“Okay that it, we are done here!” Katara interrupted grabbing his quill and scroll out of his hands that he was taking notes with and packing them into his bag, “You can go now.”

“But, I, uh, miss I am not finished,” Manu sputtered.

“Master.” Katara said.

“I’m sorry what?” He asked.

“It’s Master Katara, and you are dismissed,” She ground out, pulling the water from her pouch and getting into a defensive stance.

“Uh yes of course, Master Katara, Avatar Aang,” he said quickly bowing to them both and running off.

Katara slammed the door to the balcony shut and let out a grunt of frustration. She then walked over to the balcony to put her head down onto the railing. Aang watched her quietly from the bench. “Katara, we need to talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about?” she huffed moodily, still staring out at the horizon. The sun was almost completely set by now, just a small sliver of it that was reaching out towards her.

“I had a feeling people were going to start asking us this, that’s why I’ve been really wanting to talk about it with you, but you keep avoiding this,” he said gently, standing up to walk towards her and putting hand on the small of her back. “I could make you a necklace first if that’s what you’ve been waiting for, well I have been car-”

“No!” Katara said, protectively placing a hand onto her mother’s necklace and backing away, “No, I don’t want a new necklace.”

“Well, what do you want? We need to talk,” Aang repeated.

“But I’ve already told you how I feel about this. Yes, I want kids someday, sure, but on my terms. I’ve been acting like a mother since mine died, and I want my freedom Aang. I never got the chance to be young and, I’m just not ready,” Katara spoke feeling as if they had been here before. The moon began to shine above them as the sky went dark.

“But, when will you be ready?” Aang pleaded.

“I don’t know, I’m just confused right now and I can’t give you an answer. I… I don’t know if I’ll ever have an answer for you…” Katara trailed off.

“Katara, being a dad, it’s not only something that I really want, but it’s also a duty I have to fulfil. It’s my destiny to bring balance to the world, our destiny,” he said reaching to hold her hands in his.

“Well, I didn’t know that falling in love with the Avatar meant I would have to sacrifice so much!” Katara yelled in frustration dropping her hands out of his grasp.

“Sacrifice?” Aang asked, his voice cracking in hurt.

“Yes! This is a sacrifice! I don’t want to be a breeding farm for airbenders! Or give up my culture to serve another! Or lose myself in your projects!” Katara shouted, her anger getting the better of her. She was saying things that she had hid deep inside her soul, things she never wanted to tell him because she couldn’t bear the pain it would cause.

“I’m not asking you to do any of those things!” Aang yelled back at her.

“Yes, you are, that’s exactly what you ask of me every day, how do you not see that? Where am I in any of this? People don’t even remember what I have done, what I have given up already to bring peace to the world. Where is my peace?!” She couldn’t stop the hot, angry tears from spilling down her face at this point. Everything she had been holding in was spilling out of her in thunderous waves of hurt. Every breath was strained with emotion.

“I thought I was your peace, like how you’re mine.” Aang whispered, tears filling his eyes as well.

“I thought you were too, but…” Katara said and turned away from those eyes, so filled with hurt and betray. Her guilt was eating her alive. She sobbed inwards, crossing her arms over her chest as if she could hold herself together.

“I’m not anymore. Am I?” he asked, emotion welling in his throat.

Katara’s sobs turned silent now, but the tears wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t see out her eyes. Why was this so hard? What had happened? This place, once lovely, now was her prison. She cried, “I don’t know why you stopped, why I stopped.”

“Do you think I could be it again?” he croaked out.

“I don’t know,” she whispered back, staring at the dark waves below.

They stood there, her back still turned to him, silently crying for an interterminal amount of time. At one point, Aang reached out towards her, taking one step, but then stopped. His reach hung in the air for a full breath, but then he turned and walked away. Out of the balcony, out of the building, and took off towards the skies on his glider. She was left to drown in a bed of her own making.

That night, Katara packed a bag.

#atla fanfic #atla #kataang breakup #katara #justice for katara #katara deserved better #katara defense squad #katara's anger #katara's rage #southern water tribe #southern air temple #aang #zutara fanfiction #taylor swift inspired #atla oc

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libraincarnate · 2 years ago

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astrology notes: 8 🧸🍬

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

🧁 scorpio 2nd house/mercury: okay if you didn’t know i have a thing for eyes, but i also have a thing for voices and i have placements that indicate that too. anyways, people with scorpio mercury? wow just wow. probably one of my favorite placements and one of the most captivating ones in my opinion. i recently heard someone’s voice and i guessed they had a scorpio mercury and i was right. girls with this placements may have a deeper voice but regardless it’s so damn sexy and sultry. their intelligence and broad vocabulary and various expressions leave their lips with ease. they ooze seduction unintentionally. this is THE bedroom voice. such power behind their words, the power to both uplift and destroy. it demands attention. speaking like they know more than they let on, discerning what you know and don’t know so that they can decide what and how much to reveal. hard to lie to these individuals. they’re quick to detect deception. they use their words decisively & directly.

🧁 favorable 11th house placements: community & togetherness is a wonderful thing to these folks. they find it beautiful to see people working together to accomplish a common goal or simply sticking together, loving & supporting one another. unfortunately society isn’t always like that but when they do witness something like that it makes them happy. they think, “see? that’s how it should be.” it’s a wish they have for the world, more unity.

🧁 neptune-pluto aspects: rock star alice cooper has neptune sextile pluto in his birth chart. he suffered from alcohol & drug addiction. some of his songs have meanings that have a double entendre. for example, when listening to his song called poison for the first time, it sounds like a love song about how badly he wants this person even though they may not be good for him, they bring him both pleasure and pain. but really that song is about his toxic relationship with drugs and alcohol.

he’s a libra rising & his chart ruler is venus in pisces which is in the 6th house of health, routine, and habits.

his neptune is a prominent placement for him being in his 1st house & conjunct his ascendant.

his neptune is at 12° (pisces degree) which is also associated with drugs/alcohol, addiction, a lack of boundaries, but also spirituality, musical talent, healing, the emotions, and creativity. and his pluto which brings transformation is at 13° (aries degree) which can indicate some form of struggle or abuse but there’s also courage, determination, and perseverance.

alice cooper has overcome his drug and alcohol addiction, has helped others including other rock n’ roll artists to do the same, and he became a christian and gave a lot of credit to Jesus Christ as the reason why he was able to beat these addictions.

i’m not saying everyone with this aspect will have a similar story, it’s just one way i’ve seen this aspect play out.

🧁 venus in the 5th house: you might be attracted to people who are talented. somone who plays an instrument really well. maybe you find it attractive watching someone play the guitar and rocking out, headbanging and stuff lol

someone who is really good at sports, seeing their athleticism, their skill, their dedication to the sport they play. touch down celebrations might be something you like to see if football is your thing. perhaps play fighting with your love.

someone who is a talented artist, seeing them use their creativity and skills to create something out of nothing. seeing their passion come to life in their art, how it tells a story. how they assign their own meanings to the colors, shapes, and materials they use.

🧁 harsh mars-uranus aspects: might be more willing to do something bad if they feel like they’re doing it for a good reason. reminds me of thomas shelby from peaky blinders. he does a lot of bad things for the sake of his family/loved ones, to better their lives. he shows his loyalty in extreme & intense ways. he also performs some philanthropic deeds. he’s smart, ingenious, unpredictable, has been to war and applies a war-like strategy or mindset in his approach to achieving his goals. he does what he wants when he wants and rarely takes the advice of others.

🧁 jupiter in the 4th house: motherhood may be a blessing for you. your child or children might feel like you’re the best mom ever and you might feel like that too lol your child may make your life better, more meaningful and fulfilling. you pass on the wisdom you’ve gained to them. encouraging education and spirituality in their upbringing. motherhood definitely alters your perspective on life. you learn so much from being a mom and part of that is because your child teaches you so much including by just watching them grow.

🧁 one thing i feel like is underrated about virgos is their sense of style. they can dress & it’s authentic. they stand out among the sea of fad loving doppelgangers because of their originality. and while they may not vocalize their judgements, i promise you they are analyzing every detail of your outfit, hairstyle, choice of accessories, etc. all in silence. they notice the smallest details which is part of the reason why they look so pristine & put together. they simply have good taste. potential as a stylist & designer.

🧁 4th house ruler in 11th house: this native may have, want, or prefer a chosen family rather than the family they were born with. their friends may feel more like a family to them and they may spend more time with them. may be an adopted child or feel like one, and you may want to adopt if you decide to start your own family. the people you look to as your mother or father figure may not be your biological parents. a community or sense of family with the ones you are closest to but not necessarily the ones you are related to.

🧁 the sign in your 2nd house may show you how you feel about sharing the things that belong to you (food, money, clothes, car, info on where you got something, and so on):

capricorn would probably only share with you if they actually like you or respect you.

virgo might be picky about who they share with or who gets to touch what.

libra i think would be both of the above but may feel bad when they want say no so they might just say whatever and give in for that reason.

sag is ruled by jupiter which is associated with generosity so i think they’d be more willing to give things away or tell you where they got their stuff from like a nice shirt that they have.

aquarius is another sign i feel like would be willing to share, since they’re associated with community & philanthropy but regardless of how social aquarius may be i think they’re a bit detached from people & they like their originality so they may not want everyone looking like them or having what they have so they may say no to most but yes to those closest to them.

scorpio may be a bit more possessive and private about what’s theirs so they may only share with those they trust.

gemini likes to talk and exchange information, they’re lighthearted individuals who may have no problem sharing or telling you where they got something.

to me taurus is 50/50. they’re known to be savers and spenders. they know how to gather and save their resources, can be hoarders and a bit selfish but they also like pleasing themselves, indulging in the things they like. they know how to spoil others as well so they’d probably just buy it for you instead of giving you what’s theirs.

🧁 lilith in the 11th house: might be a misanthrope, someone who dislikes humanity or society as a whole. however you may like people as individuals. i see this being a lone wolf/outcast placement.

🧁 your jupiter in their 1st house (synastry): you are a blessing to this person’s life. you definitely make their life better and an impactful difference would be felt with out you in their life. you make them feel good about themselves, make them feel confident, you support them. you broaden their outlook on life, providing fresh perspectives. you share the knowledge you have with them, make them wiser. the 1st house intrigues jupiter and wants to understand the 1st house person better. jupiter person could be one of if not the 1st house person’s favorite person.

you lift them up, bring optimism and encouragement. you guys feel good around each other, have a lot of fun together, make each other happier. you help them in their journey of self improvement whether you know it or not. the jupiter person sees the potential in the 1st house person during the times they don’t see it themselves. they encourage you to be your best authentic self. jupiter person may also discover things about themselves through their relationship with the 1st house person. jupiters perspective and understanding is broadened as well. also, jupiter probably spoils the 1st house person & 1st house person appreciates them so much and just knows how much they mean to them.

🧁 omg how many people with prominent 7th house placements have walked in multiple weddings? like you could’ve been a flower girl, ring boy, a bridesmaid or groomsman etc. especially with venus, jupiter, asteroid juno (3) here, or a 7th house stellium.

🧁 placidus vs whole sign house system: i mostly use the whole sign house system but i encourage you not to ignore the placements in your chart using the placidus system. you won’t relate to or notice the impact of all of your placements at once. you grow and develop as a person and this takes time, so it may take time to see the influence of certain placements and aspects in your chart regardless of which house system you use. people experience different areas of life at different times. i may experience the 6th house and 7th house related themes earlier in my life but you may experience much them later in your life.

remember each house has themes and different areas of focus. take the 8th house for example: you may not relate to the theme of death in this house (either literally or figuratively in the form of rebirth/transformation) and so you may not relate to the inheritance aspect either (or not yet) but you may relate to the themes of the occult along with sex & intimacy in this house. it’s normal to not relate to everything related to that house, and it’s normal not to relate to everything all at once.

after speaking to someone close to me, she relates to the placement of their sun using the whole sign system more than the placement of their sun using placidus. when using placidus, her sun is in the 4th house. initially she didn’t relate to this placement what so ever. but then she noticed something, she literally is the kim k of her family. if she dies the light goes out in her family. her relatives love her and are always asking for her. they adore her, think she's funny and they just like hearing from her. they talk to her the most. most of her parent’s friends mainly ask about her and want to talk to her on the phone and she's not the only child. she literally asks her parents if their friends forget that they have more than one child. their friends are always giving her money and gifts and food. she plays an important role in this family, she's basically a leader & she manages a lot of things in her house/family. her parents tend to brag about her to others as well.

however there are other themes in the 4th house which she does not relate to and there are other placements in her birth chart using the placidus system which she doesn’t relate to at all, or perhaps not yet.

apart from that, there’s something called intercepted signs, houses, and planets & duplicated signs and houses. they apply to house systems like placidus but not to those like whole sign. you may have these in your placidus chart. it might be something you relate to and you may learn something about yourself as well.

i cannot and will not attempt to explain them, but if you’re interested here are some posts that do explain them:

https://www.tumblr.com/boyzgotojupiter/706271020564234240

https://bobmarksastrologer.com/intercepted-signs/

https://bobmarksastrologer.com/duplicated-signs/

https://www.tumblr.com/boyzgotojupiter/706271008694353920/duplicated-intercepted-houses

if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

#astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology notes #astro notes #libraincarnate

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