#they’re all alienfuckers

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Are interspecies relationships not all that common or????

Like on one hand yeah Caersan was raging about his children feelin the Pull for Terrans and the Jones twins were never told their mother was Syldrathi, but then Kal told Auri his mom would’ve liked her and Finian’s family met Scarlett and liked her so it doesn’t seem like something that’d be widely frowned upon. Or is it truly odd/not common and nearly everyone else looks at them like wow what a bunch of freaky alien-fucking weirdos???

But like if it isn’t unconventional, then where are all the folk like the Jones twins???

Or is it that the Jones twins are the anomaly???

Had there never been mixed species children prior so everyone just assumed it wasn’t possible and was like cool we can raw dog aliens and not have to worry bout pregnancy? Like it’s gotta be rare right? Cause like Kal and Auri had been gettin it on for a minute. Scarlett was ready to climb Fin like a tree during the time loop. Tyler, even after discovering he was half-Syldrathi, was still tryna get down and dirty with Saedii on that ship.

Like does the Legion give everyone mandatory birth control for the duration of their training and field service or something so everyone’s like protection be damned? Cause I imagine squad stability getting shaken up due to maternity/parental leave would be rough, and teen pregnancies at a military academy wouldn’t fly anyway. But the academy should still be teaching safe sex practices to the teens, man.

It’s all fun and games til an STD jumps across species. Smh my head.

cause like imagine being the reason HPV has to be renamed or something. like whelp, guess it’s actually humanoid papilloma virus, turns out Betraskans can contract and transmit it too

[vardasvapors]

as a bi, i would like to explain the frequently-seen phrase ‘those two are gay, or at least bisexual.’ it’s a little-known fact that every human’s Capacity For Sexual Attraction And Romantic Love is inherently divided by the number of people on the planet their sexual orientation allows them to be attracted to! all straight or gay people’s Capacity is divided by approximately 3.5 billion (the number of people with the gender they’re attracted to). however, bi people’s Capacity is divided into 7 billion, meaning the amount of Love a bi person can give any other single human is only half as much as the amount a monosexual person can give! therefore if two men are In Love with each other as individuals, they are only 50% as In Love if they are bi men as they would be if they were gay. and obviously, if one is bi and one is gay, the bi one loves his partner less than the gay one loves him. the rising population of humanity has also contributed to a decline in the amount of love people can give due to it being divided into more billions, which is also the cause of global warming.

alienfuckers are exempt from this tho (different planet)✌️

[boypussydilf]

Im literally pointing into the air with my finger randomly for your episode opinions cuz i like your thoughts. 39 and 169 and 300

ihad. a whole thing written out about ep 39,. and tumbltr glitched and deleted it. sigh. lets do this again

39 - the first christmas ep (A part) and The One Where Teaches Everyone How To Clean (B part) !!! This one is just a fun time. its got the aliens not knowing what chrismtas is bc theyre aliens,. tamama being a kid. whatever kururu and aki have going on. Tangent but like it’s really funny that kururu like,. Thinks Aki is hot? I guess? Because its established. in canon. that to keronians humans look weird as hell and kind of creepy. because like. duh. they look drastically different. Like. It’s not supposed to be “Kururu has weird as fuck taste” that’s not the joke they didn’t even think about that it’s just oouuu aki sexy big boob mom etc. But. Kururu canon alienfucker. Anyway what was I saying? Oh yeah it also has Keroro’s deep passion for Cleaning the House, which is always good. He loves that shit. Keroro probably reads blogs belonging to moms and housewives to look for cleaning tips. Its got all that what’s not to like. Fun episode.

169 - PART A IVE OMLY SEEN ONE TIME BUT I LOVE IT. urere is my best fuckin g friend in the whole wide world and it has dororo’s weird thing with driving and it has giroros train autism and it has a good gag and its a good episode. big fan. The b part is the giruru episode but I saw “giroro” and “beautiful girl” in the episode title and opted to only half pay attention when watching lmao

300 - OH THE ONONO ONE!!! i like this episode :) id almost forgotten its yet ANOTHER “Kiruru Going Haywire” story god. Well actually that kiruru system might have been working as intended. Well. They do work as intended half the time it’s just that how they’re intended to work is “kill a bunch of stuff real good” so it just kind of. They go bad no matter what. Ouuu kirurus are so interestiiiiiing!! Also there’s an old guy. i jest onono is cool but ive only seen the episode one time. He and darere - thats the name right darere? Hard to get the names of side frogs straight. Anyway - they would sure as hell have stuff to talk about. “Keron soldiers who have firsthand seen the keron army using vastly unnecessary destruction and violence and they did NOT fucking like it”. Boo keron everyone still hates your pussy!! I dont remember a ton of stuff that happened in this episode i just skimmed thru a few parts to remind myself but its a good episode i gotta be sure to rewatch it :)

[wormsdyke]

[IDs: a series of memes. 1. the fancy winnie the pooh meme. casual pooh is labeled “Earth potatoes” and fancy pooh is labeled “mark watney’s organic martian shit potatoes”

2. the first panel shows a person grinning as they reach for a yellow circle labeled “joking about mark watney getting some alien dick.” the second panel shows a large pink creature wrapping its arms around the person, who is now nervous. the pink creature is labeled “watney’s latest transmission saying something about martian vampires.”

3. the first panel shows a student labeled “watney” passing a note to the student in front of them labeled “nasa.” the second panel shows the student opening the note, angry to see that it says “look! boobs! (.Y.)”

4. the first panel shows squidward walking away with a folded chair, labeled “ares 5 press conferences.” the second panel shows squidward happily setting up the chair, labeled “‘i saw more of mars today. still red and stupid.’”

5. the “they’re the same picture meme.” the 2 options offered in the first panel are “the dude stuck on mars” and “a best friend,” captioned “corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture.” in the second panel, a woman labeled “literally everyone on earth right now” answers “they’re the same picture.”

6. a couple in wedding attire labeled “popular press conferences on ares 5” poses by a beach. behind them, a person labeled “mark” falls from the sky.

7. a roman gladiator labeled “‘booba booba’ (.Y.)” stands on a night stand and points long horn down to a boy laying in bed screaming in surprise, labeled “nasa.”

8. a large, muscular person with outstretched arms facing away from the camera is labeled “nasa asking for data on the crops.” a much smaller person wearing a skin tight pink body suit faces them and mimics their position, labeled “‘fuck you all i graduated from botany school.’”

9. a title reads “is the sun bothering you king” above text that says “the entire internet the second mark mentions the sun being annoying without an earth atmosphere” beside a photo of a person pointing a gun at the sun.

10. 8 hands interlocked in a circle, labeled existential gen z’s, tumblrinas, space nerds, potato stans, midwestern bitches, nasa, and alienfuckers. the center of the circle says “mark watney.”

11. a 1960s style painting. A mother and 2 children hide behind a partially open front door, smiling and holding knives. they are labeled “solar panels,” “rovers,” and “‘hi it’s me. do i get paid overtime for this?’” the father, labeled “nasa, after a very nice memorial service for the guy they left on mars” walks up the sidewalk unsuspectingly to the front door.

12. a person labeled “nasa” standing at a forked road. one side leads to a beautiful castle labeled “successfully colonizing mars and growing crops on the surface.” the other side leads to a haunted house labeled “mark watney, certified annoying bisexual, is the only one there.”

13. text reading “mark: go fuck yourself / nasa officials hearing this for the third time that day:” followed by the surprised pikachu meme.

14. the trade offer meme. one side says “i receive: human shit” and the other side says “you receive: not dead yet.” the person in the center is labeled “martian potatoes.” /end IDs]

Given how humanity reacts to life in general, can we picture the INSANELY good memes that would have been made in the Martian universe while they tried to rescue Watney?

[the-iron-orchid]

I love that the relationship between Tsedi and Jinana in the Knight of Heriox sandbox is just sort of everything all at once - they grew up in the Garden together, they’re intimate but it’s not romantic, they absolutely bang sometimes (whether therapeutically or just for fun), they both have peacock hair but it’s different, they drink the worst drinks in the universe together, they’re alienfuckers, they work for the galactic government, have a loquat smoothie

[jupitergames-if]

I don't get why people are so excited by tall ROs (I have literally absolutely no height preference whatsoever and I don't really understand people who do), but I adore the idea of a dragon romance. Like dear author, you're already letting me live out my alienfucker dreams and now you're also letting me live out my monsterfucker dreams? Your power is obscene 🐉

"bitches love tall ROs" it's me, i'm bitches

idk i feel like there are probably a number of reasons why people like em tall, but really it's just like any other physical trait. some people like freckles, some like green eyes, some like when they're 7'0 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but yeah i'm glad i can provide 😈

all those years of writing, all that money i spent on school—it's all given me the power to write games where you can kiss aliens and monsters

[awellboiledicicle]

no one watches super-anything movies for some high brow experience. Can they be high brow and meaningful, etc? sure. is that what most people are there for? nope.

We’re here bc heroes fighting villains is a story that scratches an itch humans have had since we really figured out how to be humans. all other variations are usually good because we like novelty mixed with concepts we understand and are familiar with.

Also in the case of Venom, is it not enough to see a totally unhinged reporter speedrun a romance with an alien that is deffo an alienfucker? Is it not enough to see cgi being used to make a monster actually look like a slimy, disgusting, writhing mass instead of some sanitized remake made to be marketable? Is it not enough to just have a fucking good time for once?

The critics have their own check lists and they’re almost always wildly different than what the people of earth want in a movie. Sometimes it overlaps and a critical hit is the same as a fan favorite. Most of the time, however, they don’t. 

So basically i propose more wild shit like actors in normal people clothes, living in shitty apartments/homes, looking like normal people, and doing totally wild shit. We all love the lobster tank scene because normally when a character is doing something to illustrate they’re not totally pulled together, its either copying something mentally ill people do, but dramatized to the point of only vaguely resembling it [which is bad in several ways], OR its done in such a way that it doesn’t really make sense with the character. It’s just meant to look good so it can be considered an iconic scene and then they move on. The lobster tank scene tosses both those out the window, because it’s very much just an internally logical series of events. Eddie Brock isn’t totally in control of himself or what his body wants, and knows he has a fever or feels like it. So climbing in the tank makes sense for cooling. He’s not thinking clearly, and both he and the symbiote looked at lobsters and went “i mean, its edible” and went to town. It made sense for the character. And everyone reacts appropriately! Its well done.

We get the golden mental feel goods of familiar things mixed with novelty, we free up time spent thinking about marketability to be used elsewhere, we bring back sets that look lived in, we focus more on writing and acting than “who looks prettiest in the roll”.

This is a 1am ramble about film, but honestly part of the problem with big names pushing out new talent would be solved if they had to actually do well in a line read instead of instantly getting the part for name recognition.  Like, i’m just saying that i think we would have better movies if we broke out of the boxes and like... had new people in. did new things. didn’t run fx studios like sweatshops bc they don’t have a union. 

i have Thoughts ok

[tfw-no-tennis]

ani....morphs.....

ok so picking up after the david trilogy, which hit hard as FUCK, we have book 23, which basically was a semi truck that ran over my corpse, jesus christ, they really followed up the david trilogy w/all that....

23 was so so good and also painful. its the culmination of a lot of tobias’s characterization in the series thus far and also we finally get the reveal we’ve been waiting for about elfangor....ooooh man 

and there was a lot of painful stuff in this book but the worst imo was tobias wondering if it were possible that somebody wanted him and would take care of him, only to have it all come crashing down in the worst way when it turned out aria was visser three in morph, ouch. 

that was so brutal augh. and when he figured it out and just crash landed and kept thinking about how he wanted to die and how he was stupid to think he could have a home...bro get these kids some THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

so yeah that book was absolutely brutal but also so good...and it further fleshed out the animorphs working as a near-flawless team, w/the whole setup of tobias meeting w/the lawyer being so airtight and well-planned 

also more free hork bajir!! its cool that there's stuff happening w/them offscreen, I like that 

I literally had to take a break from reading the books bc the david triology + 23 was like so much, and also bc the olympics were on and all my time got dedicated to watching those, but then I opened 24, not sure what to expect, and BAM it was the helmacrons lmaoooo

I don't even remember the helmacrons but ig a lot of people hate them? lmao so that whole reputation preceded the book and I was like oh wow time for a change in tone

which wasn't wrong but also I liked that book?? I was never bored, even tho the whole thing was patently ridiculous and also had very little bearing on the overarching story

but I think it would be a standout if it were a TV episode w/a good budget - the visuals were amazing even in text, and I can imagine all the cool shrinking/growing/cellular stuff would be WICKED cool visually (ideally 2d animation but an ant man-esque live action adaptation wouldn't be terrible if they had the budget for it)

whatever let me dream. so yeah I didn't hate the helmacron book even tho the helmacrons themselves were...sure something. lmao I think they come back? that should be interesting

next book is the arctic one, we have yet another alien of the week style adventure - I liked this one too, it felt like more plot-y stuff happened since they destroyed the base, and marco’s POV is always fun 

I do find it funny/interesting how sometimes when the animorphs do something - like in this book, destroying that base in the arctic - it doesn't really seem to impact the yeerks much/it doesn't get brought up much after that. and then other things like them destroying the ground-based kandrona get mentioned a lot (that example is understandable tho bc that WAS a big deal). its just hilarious to me how blowing up entire building complexes has become so routine that it isn’t even worth mentioning at this point

Also I adore when they meet other random people/kids and are chill w/them, like w/that kid they met in the rain forest earlier on w/the time travel 

the descriptions of the brutally cold weather were great. I hate the cold so I was like oof this is a nightmare lmao

also ig that was the first ghostwritten book and I did kinda notice it was slightly different than usual? maybe? I could be imagining it tho 

okay but book 26 tho...BOOK 26. bruh 

that was SO good and I really didn’t know what to expect - but when we finally revisited Jake’s dream w/crayak I knew it was gonna be good (but I didn’t expect it to be a chess game war epic..!)

basically I loved it. SUCH a good Jake book - I really appreciate his character now as opposed to when I was 10 and often overlooked him (sorry jake).

similarly, when I was a kid and read these I sympathized a lot w/the chee and felt bad for them towards the end of the series when they had to get more involved in the war (genuinely don’t remember what they even do but ik I felt bad) 

but now I've basically 180′d and I'm like damn those chee sure are hypocrites huh. 

like they could solve So many of the animorphs problems but their stringent adherence to nonviolence leads to them actively getting in the animorphs way sometimes? and obviously pacifism is a complicated topic, but in this case it also intersect w/the whole ‘child soldier’ thing, and as beings who are insanely old and wise, the chee probably shouldn't just leave all the dirty work to a bunch of literal middle schoolers

aaaaanyways. there’s so much I love about this book. the iskoort! they were sure something. and the ‘plot twist’ that they are actually 2 beings, the Isk and the Yoort - and the Yoort are essentially Yeerks - that slapped. the symbiosis of it all! 

I loved the part where they all realize what this means, that this is why Crayak wants the iskoort destoryed - because someday the yeerks might come across them and realize parasitism is not the only way. I love it! 

alas I don’t recall the iskoort returning in the story (but also my memory is terrible so who knows?) but still that would be cool

basically I feel like this is the book where Jake Truly comes into his own as a leader, in every sense. he outmaneuvers Crayak, and even the ellimist, who’s yanking them around in his own way

the scene where jake shoves the howler off the cliff and jumps off and morphs and acquires the howler...that was fantastic and tense. 

also the murder is definitely becoming more overt. I mean, it has been for a while, but it isn’t really pointed out as much anymore. oof

more on the chee - as Jake points out in this book, and other characters point out in other books - the chee could have saved the pemalites, but instead just stood by while their creators were slaughtered. on the other hand, jake says, what do the chee do AFTER they’ve killed the howlers - where to point them next? when is the end of their violence? 

buuuuut also standing by while atrocities occur is pretty damning, as is frequently mentioned in this series - from the very beginning, when marco initially doesn’t want to get involved in the war at all, and the other animorphs basically tell him that turning his back on the war and acting like he doesn’t even know it’s happening would be immoral and cowardly (which imo this reaction helps to push marco in the direction he ends up going, but I digress) - this topic comes up again in 19 when cassie quits the team and rachel is upset bc she sees it as cassie elevating her own feelings above the greater good (as in, as long as cassie feels good about how she acts, it doesn’t matter how much preventable evil the yeerks are committing while she turns away). etc etc. but that’s essentially what’s happening w/the chee - even tho they help w/intel, the lack of any sort of Action on their part means that they’re essentially allowing awful things to happen when they could prevent them. this is rambly but basically...animorphs deals so much in grey areas, and the chee are noticeably black and white in their actions, despite falling, in a meta sense, in an extremely grey area. its such good, thought provoking writing!

anywayssss I keep talking about the chee lmao what else was there. oh YEAH jake and cassie kissed for the first time awww that was super cute 

and ofc immediately marco teases them as asks jake if he’s gonna kiss him next, and all I can say is...marco is a bicon 

also I love the background worldbuilding w/the iskoort, how they have all these groups and guilds and stuff - its not dwelled on much, which actually works really well to give the world/species a sense of lived-in realness 

okay oh man and the reveal at the end that the howlers were just like...children who thought the whole thing was a game...AUGHH man that’s sooo fucked 

like, when jake morphs the howler and has rachel ready to knock him down in grizzly morph if he gets out of control due to the howler’s murderous instincts, and he morphs to find that the howler is...playful, like a dolphin morph. SUCH a good fucked up sense of dawning horror there 

and the fact that as far as I can tell the chee KNEW this, but wanted revenge anyways, so they let the animorphs assume that the howlers were Evil On Purpose

also I love smaller moments, like jake seeing that ax is ashamed for briefly running away during one battle w/the howlers, and then entrusts him w/an important task bc he knows that ax will see that as redemption - and when everyone thought jake was dead and were so happy when he wasn't (they all love each other so much im gonna cry about these child soldiers augh)

basically that book was so good

man one thing I absolutely love is that the longer the series goes on the more obvious it is that andalites, despite inventing morphing technology, barely use it themselves 

like, most of the andalite characters we see barely morph. its kind of a last resort to them, as they’re already plenty dangerous in their regular forms 

meanwhile for the animorphs, that’s all they have to fight with. that’s their only weapons against the yeerks, and its so fun to see them use the power in so many varied ways, and so creatively, while the andalites have barely scratched the surface of their own technology

its also interesting to contrast against the yeerks who start out w/absolutely no technology, and the andalites share some but not all of their technology w/them...its too bad that morphing technology was just starting out cause that would’ve been interesting

like imo a lot of the conflict w/the yeerks could’ve been avoided if they could just nothlit into better forms - of course, there’d still be plenty of yeerks who want to go start wars or w/e, just like pretty much any species in the series, but a lot of yeerks would probably be like ‘yeah I'm good’ and just chill out as nothlits

also people online love to talk about how humans are alienfuckers and would definitely have sex w/sentient aliens and whatnot, and while I'm not saying that's untrue, its just funny bc in animorphs the truest alienfuckers are definitely the andalites

as of the hork-bajir chronicles, we now have a second instance of an andalite morphing another species to be in an inter-species alien romance (and eventually have kids) 

speaking of, I don’t think I’ve talked abt the hork bajir chronicles yet??? even tho I read it a while ago lmao 

HBC was great...I honestly haven’t really run into an animorphs book I’ve actually disliked at this point, I’m sure it’ll come w/all the ghostwriting and whatnot, but I’ve liked at least some aspects of every book

anyways HBC was great, and it’s funny bc I remember that I read this book as a kid, and yet rereading it now I didn’t remember a single bit of it lmaooo

I really liked the framing device of the free hork bajir telling this story to tobias. I also liked how we know from the beginning that this story wont have a happy ending - we know all the hork bajir end up enslaved by the yeerks, but it’s still somehow hopeful at the end? I think this is largely due to the framing device tbh. 

also I love toby, and I love that the First free hork bajir named their kid after tobias ;_; 

and oooh mannn I LOVED the different POVs from this book. all the characters were so interesting! aldrea was fascinating - I really like the increasingly negative view of the andalites that the readers are getting, all while maintaining the sense that they aren’t like, actively evil, just that they have their issues - like aldrea’s arrogance, and the general andalite arrogance which lead to the loss of the hork bajir. also, who knew andalites had their own brand of sexism? Ls

I did like getting a female andalite tho, that was cool. and dak was really cool, he was such a good, compassionate character who was able to maintain his morals in an interesting way throughout the story

and VISSER THREE...or should I say esplin 9466, because he’s not visser 3 yet...getting his ‘origin story’ was excellent - I really like how we’re learning about visser 3 backwards - we start off the series w/him as the main villain, and he’s campy and menacing, and then we see him in the andalite chronicles as a power-hungry sub-visser trying to climb the ranks and eventually getting alloran as a host, and then back even further here, w/the start of his focus on the andalites and the beginning of his ambition. its been very cool and interesting to see

plus, the beginning of the yeerks as we know them! seerow! alloran! it’s a party and nobody is having a good time, except for some of the yeerks. 

I like how it’s pretty obvious that the andalites are well-meaning with their interactions w/the yeerks, but go about it the wrong way - they give them enough technology that the yeerks realize there’s a whole world out there to experience, and then they blockade the yeerks on their planet and tell them they can’t leave. nnnnot the best approach imo

again, as I said above, I’m interested in how things could’ve gone if the andalites had given the yeerks morphing technology early on - could a lot of the conflict have been avoided, or would it have been worse? the yeerks seem pretty evil in this book, immediately jumping to enslave anyone they can. otoh we hear from esplin that not all yeerks like having host bodies, and find it overwhelming, preferring to swim around in the yeerk pool as a slug - I assume as host bodies became more available this type of thinking was probably stamped out in yeerk society or w/e, but there are a lot of interesting what-ifs in the situation 

I loved the scene where esplin first experiences having a host, and immediately knows he can’t go back. there are a bunch of great sensory descriptions, and it’s a nice scene to pinpoint as a foundational moment for the visser three in the current story, who spent a lot of time and energy getting what he sees as the best possible host body, an andalite

I find it interesting how much visser three clearly respects the andalites, even while constantly deriding them. and you can see the origins of that here as he immediately focuses in on the andalites, working to become an expert on them in order to make himself useful enough to move thru the ranks

another thing I like is how esplin seems a lot more crafty and ambitious than the visser three from modern times - I would guess that reaching his goal (andalite host body) and being given all that power was detrimental, playing on his weaknesses instead of his strengths. basically, I don’t think it’s ooc or anything, I can see how HBC-esplin became animorphs-esplin, especially w/TAC in between

as for seerow...poor dude. you really do have to feel for him, because you get the sense he really did just want to be kind to the yeerks, but it was borne from a place of pity, and he (and the other andalites) consistently held too much power over the yeerks for the species relations to ever be truly equal and functional 

AUGH I have so many thoughts about alien space politics. omg. I need to talk about the actual story lmao

so yeah I also feel for aldrea, she had a rough time, watching her entire family die and being thrown into a hopeless war

and then the andalite council or w/e not listening to her bc she's a girl AND seerow’s daughter...oof

also, I really really liked the running theme of the andalites - specifically aldrea - looking down on the hork bajir as ‘simple’ and constantly underestimating them, especially dak

and I like how this is portrayed as a bad attitude for aldrea to have, and she still remains and interesting and sympathetic character even while having obvious flaws. it’s about being 3-dimensional baby!

and oh man I love that dak realizes that aldrea looks down on him, and his entire species, but he can see that that’s how the andalites are, and it all connects back to the beginning of the story w/the yeerks, bc the andalites looked down on the yeerks and treated them with pity and kept them pinned under their proverbial thumb ‘for their own good’ and look how that turned out 

but dak is wise and kind enough to not hate aldrea for this, even acknowledging when she’s using him, but not pushing her away because he recognizes good in her too - and she ends up changing, partially because of his faith in her

and I feel like it can all be compared to that scenario of like - a hypothetical creature that lives in a 2D world suddenly being thrust into a 3D world, and comprehending what its seeing, and understanding that there’s so much more out there outside of the flat lines of its world - and then its dropped back into 2D-land with the knowledge of all the stuff its missing out on, and no way to get back to it or explain it to anybody else

I loooove that ‘trope’ or w/e you wanna call it, and it’s done beautifully here w/the yeerks - whos the say they wouldn't have been fine in their pool swimming around; as esplin said, a lot of the yeerks were terrified of having a host, it was only from the andalites’ perspective that their lives were sad and pitiful, and the andalites showed them what the world could be like, and then said ‘no, you can’t travel the stars like we do, you have to stay here on your planet and do what we say.’

and then again, w/the hork bajir - dak talks about how, even though he drinks up the knowledge that aldrea gives him, in the end it might have been better to just have lived peacefully, not knowing what was in the sky or the Deep - as aldrea says: “It was too late for Dak: he knew that the stars were not flowers.” 

plus the hork bajir having to go from a completely peaceful species who don’t even understand the concept of violence, to a bunch of soldiers fighting a war...oof 

basically everyone in this story uses the hork bajir. the yeerks use them as hosts, the andalites use their planet as a convenient place to dump seerow and then take their sweet time coming to help, and the arn created them as means to stabilize the planet, but block them off from their society and refuse to help when the yeerks come

like, the arn modifying themselves to be un-infestable by the yeerks and then being enslaved for physical labor instead? oof guys. if they had teamed up w/the hork bajir resistance things might have gone better, but probably not 

more on aldrea - throughout the story I was always thinking ‘how am I supposed to see her? as a good person, or as a bad person?’ 

as a POV character, especially a ‘good guy’ andalite, you just start off automatically thinking of her as a good person, but as the story goes on, she starts getting lost in revenge and begins using dak and the hork bajir, and you’re left wondering if this is a story about her slide into darkness, and then towards the end of the story her character development culminates in her making the decision to stay w/the hork bajir, and the be with dak, and that’s about when I went ‘ohhh right this is animorphs so every character is pretty much gonna be grey’

I feel like that moral grey-ness was on full display w/aldrea, and I really enjoyed that. I love so much when characters who are good do bad things, for good or bad reasons, especially in media like animorphs that’s aimed at kids. it’s so compelling. 

oof, and the ending when aldrea convinces dak to mobilize the hork bajir and teach them violence...and dak asks her if she’s ever killed another andalite, and she’s horrified, and says of course she hasn’t, and he says that that’s what she’s asking him, and all the hork bajir, to do - to kill their own people, even if they are being controlled by the yeerks. biiiig oof. I love that dak can keep up w/aldrea and her andalite supremacy attitude - it seems that the non-andalite characters who get along best w/the andalites are the ones who wont take their bs 

what else happened....oh my god how could I forget about alloran, and his quantum virus. oooof. I like how we find out about alloran in parallel to visser three, in the same backwards way - in animorphs he’s the tragic host of visser three, in TAC he’s the disgraced but still semi-respected war-prince who becomes the first ever andalite controller, and here he’s the guy who decides to commit some war crimes because, hey, we haven’t tried that yet 

but yeah that was fucked up, I love it. I’ve said it before I think but I like that alloran isn’t some perfect martyr tragically taken by the yeerks - it’s a lot more compelling that he’s a very flawed person who was taken as a controller partially due to his own bloodthirstiness. 

but yeah, the part where aldrea morphs alloran and ‘sneaks’ into that room was great. aldrea’s dedication to disposing of the virus is a great indicator of her character development - it really feels like the straw that broke the camels back w/re: to the andalites not being what she thought they were, w/their tardiness coming to help the hork bajir planet and the way her father was treated being the precursors to this realization. it all culminates nicely in aldrea saying ‘fuck this actually’ and nothlit-ing into a hork bajir.

and it’s really tragic but realistic that even though aldrea and dak end up seeing eye to eye at the end and getting together, the virus ends up being released anyways (and fails in its objective to stop the yeerks from using the hork bajir - the whole thing was p much a lose-lose situation oof), and aldrea and dak still die fighting a hopeless war 

but then we have the free hork bajir on earth, including toby, who, like tobias, has andalite ancestry, but no DNA to show for it - I like that they have that connection as well as tobias being her namesake

so yeah I enjoyed that one and its many-layered themes

WOW this got long uuuuuhhh ok I think i’ll leave this one off here. at the time I’m actually finishing the writing and editing, I’m on book 35 lol so I have some backlogging to do. never fear, I have a lot to say....

[lotus-baby]

are you insane like me been in pain like me (otsutsuki stuf 😭😔)

disclaimer i don’t think this is what the writers had in mind it’s not rlly theories they’re just funny headcanons, and it's not very interesting or conclusive i just had all this bouncing around in my head. also i dont know any stuff abt physics or biology or anything i just want to babble about alien ideas

ok so under the assumption that the otsutsuki as a species:

have adapted to frequent travel in space and across different dimensions with a large variety of climate and gravity values.

spend most of their time growing and cultivating chakra fruit, farming them as their main energy source

are humanoid*, but physically sturdier than them in an unknown variety of ways. 

(*ok  why are they so humanoid????? humans are NOT designed for their lifestyle... and some of them think they’re soooo superior too like sit down my guy you’re embarassing yourself we aren’t even reproductively isolated. and why is compatibility even a detail they made canon?? who in the writers studio was like, yeah you know. we have some alienfuckers out there lets print it)

this is all the thoughts i have:

kaguya had the ice dimension and the lava dimension, and she wasn’t particularly bothered by the cold or heat, so they’re probably able to regulate body temperature to a much wider scale than humans. if their lifestyle is based on visiting different dimensions and planets with different climates, they’d need to adjust temperature not to freeze or burn. it’s temperature change or lots of layers and they like, never change their clothes. so i'm assuming it's the former

okay i know naruto doesn’t usually make a lot of sense and i know the otsutsuki are an asspull, but for the sake of conversation, i have no idea how they breathe when they travel. there’s no air in space. so hypothetically, let’s assume that they’re anaerobes (and don't need oxygen) who for some reason are structurally similar to humans. what is their nose for?? or maybe they have a nose because do need air, they just hold their breaths for a really long time? like space whales? blood composition can carry more oxygen? or their respiration doesn’t involve oxygen but a different gas????? 

also there isn’t any sound in space (they’re still seen talking though…this is when boruto’s High Quality Worldbuilding really shines through). i don’t think hearing is their most important sense, even if they live in areas with sound, they frequently travel in a soundless environment. unrelated to biology, it would be more convenient if they had a soundless form of communication (some form of sign language?)

their bones are sturdier than the bones of humans/animals on earth. kimimaro’s clan is descended from kaguya, and his bone weapons were strong enough not to break against the metal that kunai were made of. i’m not sure what effect constantly switching between different levels of gravity would have on their bones and muscles though, as they were shown to be affected poorly by high gravity (kaguya’s spiky dimension). may frequently need recuperation time after travel? (inconsistent theory though, urashiki dropped from planet otsutsuki™ to the moon with what i’m assuming is a pretty wack gravity change and was physically ready to beat the shit out of toneri as soon as he landed)

aside from chakra pills or whatever, what can they eat? toneri from the branch family is shown eating human food (where tf did he get it by the way… do they doordash to the interior of the moon...), but his branch is also fairly genetically different from the main family (no horns, exhibits no particular mutations upon absorbing large amounts of energy). It makes sense that their diet needs to sustain the growth of denser bones and maintain their body fat (this is rlly important 4 temperature stuff if you want to live but a lot of them are fairly thin?? where is the energy stored???) but otherwise it would be fun if they could digest things that are like, clearly inedible by human standards, like heavy metals and toxic stuff. or if harmless-to-human foods would make them sick.(maybe acidic stuff :D)

some of the functions they need to perform (space travel, maintaining body functions in varying pressure levels and temperatures, etc.) would require a lot of (non-chakra) energy to complete. would they need to store energy in their bodies somehow? 

(momoshiki not conserving any chakra makes me mad for no reason. you have a finite amount of energy! even if you beat them your dumbass will not be able to fly back!)

more of a cultural question, do they age slowly but continuously eating chakra fruit or do they reach a prime at which they start to eat fruit? is it considered a coming of age ritual? “son one day this will all be yours” but parasitic...

they have a lot of weird magic eye powers but it would make more sense to have a higher range of sight on the light spectrum than people or smth. being limited to the human vision spectrum + human senses would be pretty ass if you needed to see anything in deep space. would’ve been more helpful to sense heat or UV better.

they might be so creepy pale + wear white clothing because white reflects light + heat better than other colors (its the same reason space suits are white)?? 😕 temperature regulation and would stand out against space, which appears dark because there are few objects for light to reflect off of. but i like the idea that they are slightly flourescent for jokes and funnies. (i'm just thinking abt the fashion potential, maybe it's more a statement to wear shiny things? maybe duller colors is their equivalent of camo print? what does their wedding clothes being black have to do with this?)

some of their rinnegan may be shiny + gold because it deflects light the same way reflective sunglasses do, because while there’s not a lot of objects in space, the things that are there appear brighter the closer they are to a light source, and the glare can get irritating to the eyes. im kind of bullshitting though.

how do the transformations work? chakra doesn’t usually have mutagenic properties when it comes from the user themself (it usually only happens with sage/nature chakra, ex. jiraiya turning toadlike, juugo’s curse transformation), but urashiki absorbed his own (eyes?) chakra and turned into a bird monster. maybe they’ve all just been sitting in solar radiation too long…

ohhhhhhhh kay thats all good night <3

[rjalker]

“but that would mean humans are in the human-like egg group!!!!!! do you really want humans to be able to have kids with Pokemon???”

bitch they’re literally all sentient. You’re just a coward. You all call yourselves monsterfuckers or alienfuckers until they don’t speak english and aren’t literally just blue-painted humans.

[sunkist-scientist]

Someone has to ask, Barney 'alienfucker' Calhoun for the love thing!

When they discover they’re got a crush: finds himself thinking about the sappiest, cheesiest lovey-dovey stuff about this person, like literally shit youd see in some cavity inducing 80s romance  How they confess/hint: well hes not afraid to flirt if he likes someone & yeah he’ll like, ask the ol “you free this weekend?” 2 try and get the point across. might ask em out 2 the movies Big gestures of love: puts himself right in the line of danger  Little gestures of love: pet names, lil kisses in passing, lots o lingering touches ie a hand on their back or shoulder or smthn like that How to win their heart: honestly theres no surefire way it just kinda happens?  How to break their heart: idk die on him or something Things that make their heart flutter: when he makes em laugh, seein them smile, picking up on all their little mannerisms, not to mention if he catches them looking @ him the same way he looks @ them yknow................. Their type: well his partners tend 2 have glasses it seems..... also just be like. complete dorks.  Ideal date: drive out into the desert where theres no light pollution, maybe have a few beers, talk about aliens & theories & such, maybe talk  Past relationships: there was lauren of cours, but yknow, black mesa happened How they might affect current relationships: definitely makes him afraid to lose any new partners ‘Goals’ in a relationship (marriage, kids, a house, etc): my biggest shrug emoji ever Any other love headcanons: calls his partner darling a lot..... 

[geejaysmith]

Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.

Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went

Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)

Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers

Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck

Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious

Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death

Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough

Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No

Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh

Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts

Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps

Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl

Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense

Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations

Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h  g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition

Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me

Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off

Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else

Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about

Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages

Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.

Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad

Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."

Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo

============

Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did

Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair

Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case

Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still

Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates

Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes

Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)

Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide

Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented

Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her

Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec

Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space

Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him

Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp  human sexuality nuances

Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)

Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'

Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.

Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions

Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time

Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in

Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that

Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family

Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them

Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night

Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience

[jotunvali02]

Webb’s Amazing Spider-man movie

God, I had forgotten how much I LOVED that movie!!! 

The crane scene is still my fav! It was like I was back in theatre, rewatching it for the first time! Crying at the awesomeness of all these normal workers with no special power except for teamwork! (#powertopeople!)

Uncle Ben is so cool is that movie too! Watch that movie and listen to him! You’ll be thankful to him!

My cutie pie Thompson so cute! ♥ #cutecutecute

Gwen... she’s... perfect. If I were lesbian, I’ll ask her out.

I also had forgotten Dr Connors in that movie is not a caricatural villain. He just craved to do good things so hard he made terrible things and regretted it afterwards. 

But wait, let me remember a movie I’ve watched more recently, like in October 2018 for example...

A  Spidey comics movie adapted villain who wants to save humanity from themselves so bad he makes terrible things, convinced this is the right thing to do, who despises humans so much he wants to transform them into slippery monsters, saying they’ll be more powerful and happier that way, who loves slippery creatures more than humans... Hmm...

But unlike Dr Connors, that sexy motherf*cker carries out his ideas until the end! Also tests on other people first before himself. 

Carlton Drake is such a dick. Said I in a dorky smile and with a bit tongue out of my mouth. ^q^

To keep on the discussion, when captain Stacy tells Peter Spiderman does not save people, just attacks the same profile of deliquant as on a personal vendetta, well first, captain is totally right here and secondly, this is the EXACT personality of Eddie Brock! Always bragging how he’s a savior, how he saves the widow and the orphan while the truth is Eddie, as a reporter and as Venom, does not save people, he’s on a personal vendetta. On himself. On people he thinks they’re like him. To prove the world (and himself) he’s better than them.

With the BIG difference Peter doesn’t kill, doesn’t care about being better than people, he saves to save, not to receive pats and quickly gets his head straight. But that conversation between cpt Stacy and Peter strangely reminded me of my fav alienfucker.

Oh! And there’s also a funny bathroom scene with Peter discovering his new powers. And toothpaste too. But he doesn’t smash his head in a tub.

And Peter like Eddie gets his powers after he sneaked into a forbidden lab.

[droidmom]

E2, Julia/Devon, and Wash?

Ty Rachel for my life you’re so valid kjldshjkd

001 | Earth 2 

Favorite character: Julia 

Least Favorite character: Morgan or Gaal or Reilly but while I despise Reilly I also found him more entertaining and he gave us too much insight into the Council and Julia that I can’t really hate his existence like I can with the others 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Julia/Devon, any variation of Julia/Devon/Bess together or separate tbh, and I’m only saying these ones out of the sheer undeniability of them when rewatching with the alienfucker/robotfucker lenses: Morgan/that grendler that made him strip, Bess/that grendler she very enthusiastically traded with, and Danziger/Zero

Character I find most attractive: Julia or Devon 

Character I would marry: Julia 

Character I would be best friends with: Julia because I’m boring and only know how to answer anything positive with her name but also she’s just? someone I’d get along with so well?

a random thought: I can’t believe I’ve been into this show for 2 years and only now watching it with you and Alexiel do I understand how much alienfucker and robotfucker bullshit is so undeniably There In Canon

An unpopular opinion: I don’t care about Devon/Danziger too much? I def like them more now than I did in the beginning so I would have used Julia/Alonzo for this, I just don’t think it’s really… that popular in the first place 

My Canon OTP: Lmao 

My Non-canon OTP: Julia/Devon 

Most Badass Character: Bess because she’s the only one who knows how to survive on a planet (apart from some ops crew members with their experience on earth missions) and she’s had to endure and overcome so much 

Most Epic Villain: Tbh I just really love how the biggest threat in E2 is a combination of the Council and the Eden team as individuals? I love the Council because that’s what got me so into studying corrupt government stuff and I love the group because their divisions are where the most conflicts derive from and it’s epic writing 

Pairing I am not a fan of: Morgan/Bess 

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Morgan probably? He did develop a Lot but ultimately he’d never make monumental progress or learn from his mistakes. Also maybe Alonzo because while he was written well for what was intended, I wish the intention for him were different

Favourite Friendship: True and Uly or lowkey True and Bess if you can call it a friendship? She’s just always there for True and it’s so valid. I also really love how the Ops Crew is like it’s own little family at times 

Character I most identify with: JULIA 

Character I wish I could be: Tbh they’re all trainwrecks and I have enough problems so I don’t think I’d really want to be any of them dfjkhsdjk but if I had to, either Julia (because a lot of my problems are just hers recontextualized) or Devon because of that $$$

002 | Devon/Julia 

When I started shipping them: The moment I saw them on screen together when I first watched this back in like the summer of 2016

My thoughts: Like they start off with Devon really resentful of Julia because she isn’t Vasquez and then Julia works ridiculously hard to prove herself and they’re finally on good terms! Except Julia’s entire purpose was to sabotage Devon’s mission but then she falls for her and tries to find a compromise between loyalties but still messes up and the whole betrayal thing is something they have to learn to overcome Together. And once that’s out of the way it’s smooth sailing until some [redacted] spoilers Julia blames herself for and in my heart I Need her to resolve and just?? No matter how things go down there’s always SOMETHING challenging their relationship and there’s just so much wasted potential??

What makes me happy about them: The potential may have been wasted in canon but it’s here for me to do stuff with. They can bond over their shitty moms (Julia’s is… Julia’s and Devon’s is Dead but was rly neglectful/strict), they can both overcome those issues by being awesome moms to Uly, and they just?? They may not have had the most stable starting foundation but that just makes how far they’ve come even better. Also they were some of the few people whose quarters were connected to the greenhouse which makes for a lot of potential to do a lot of things when other people are asleep, whether it be stargazing up in the loft when they both end up there because they can’t sleep or [redacted]

What makes me sad about them: There was so much unrealized potential for them in canon

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: The fact that there is no fanfic for them apart from my own unfinished drafts from 2016

Things I look for in fanfic: Fanfic at all jkdfhkjkd

My wishlist: Let Them Hold Hands You Cowards 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I don’t mind Devon/Danziger and I acknowledge how Alonzo’s role in Julia’s life was beneficial but I mainly stick to F/F so I’d be happiest seeing how either of them might work with Bess or any future female characters we would’ve seen when the colony ship arrived or female characters from their unexplored pasts 

My happily ever after for them: They set up New Pacifica after remedying the finale, the colony ship gets there and they form the beginnings of a really cool community where they don’t have to do as much work but they still have a purpose, and they just get to chill together as Uly’s two moms while going about daily life with hopefully no further threats from the Council or potential greedy colonists on separate missions because lol that future episode was just a suggestion 

003 | Wash 

How I feel about this character: I love her with my entire heart and she deserved so much better than anything she got in the show 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Mira, that one AO3 writer’s version of Ayani, and I don’t rly mind the ship with Taylor because the Ayani stuff kinda drew me in but I prefer them as just long-time friends

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her being Leah’s adopted mom

My unpopular opinion about this character: She isn’t hetty lmao 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: She lives Her character would have gotten to have more focus on herself independent of other characters or her duty, she would’ve gotten to be with Mira or at least gotten an exploration to their past, she would’ve gotten more time as Leah’s accidental mom, etc I just want Something 

Favorite friendship for this character: Taylor but that’s mostly because we didn’t see her get to develop many other character relationships 

My crossover ship: her and Helen Magnus from Sanctuary because in the AU where her death is faked and she gets sent to the future just before Hope Plaza gets destroyed, she has to get together a bunch of old colleagues and scientists to get her back to TN (and also pick up Sienna on the way) and of course, Helen is one of the people who go along. Abnormals were given lower priority than keeping humans alive in the shitty future of TN so Helen doesn’t have much purpose left here and while she was offered a position in TN anyway, she didn’t want to take someone else’s legal place since she’s already lived an unfair amount of time. In the months trying to get a portal to work and in the time they spend trying to get back to the colony and set everything right, she and Wash form a deep trust and shit just kinda happens. For example, both of them have medical experience but they’re both REALLY stubborn so while Wash is still concussed as fuck and ignoring it, Helen is the one to make her sit down and take care of herself. And atm, Wash is really alone and isolated, which is something Helen has dealt with for most of her life and they can cope with it together. It’s also fun to play with because Wash, usually second-in-command, is now leader of their little group and Helen, usually leader of a whole Sanctuary Network that’s now in shambles, doesn’t have total control for once and she has to adjust to being back but not as she once was. 

[chronotopes]

yes. a good trope. swapping bashir and dax's het love interests around.

yeeeee like obviously imo they're #bi #icons but i think the gay fun of it all is rlly upped when u play into that kind of thing. plus they're both alienfuckers so their tastes probably overlap in a lot of areas. iconic legendary brotp

[raelis1]

Hmmm let’s see

1 - even though some of my ships fall under this, I don’t actually care about height/size difference

2 - nah

3 - does this cover ‘Enemies to Lovers’? If so, then hell yeah, I’m totally at this table

4 - I might sit here occasionally, provided the childhood friends have some interesting tension. If it’s all fluff, I’m out

5 - nah, I’m so vanilla. Wait. Does alienfucking count? Because... Garrus. (then again, I don’t ship Shepard/Garrus because Garrus is an alien. Even though his design is super-cool. For me, they rather fall under Adult Friends to Lovers. Where is this table?)

6 - I assume it’s the ‘polar opposites that complete each other’ dynamic’? If it is, this is my table too!

7 - as long as they’re not TOO oblivious; that’s a turn off

8 - I feel I should be into this but I haven’t found a pairing of this type that would click with me yet

9 - shipped a few of those, but this trope tends to have the characters locked into these roles forever, and it becomes boring (also, the worrywart almost always gets the short end of the stick. No, I’m not still bitter about two characters whose names start with M, not at all)

10 - hell yes, my table too! Nothing is sexier than having each other’s back while people are trying to kill you!

where y’all sitting: ship dynamics edition