licentiouslegionnaire

[licentiouslegionnaire]

That part where Scarlett is complaining about her tits not fitting into the GIA uniform and Zila starts rattling on about the effects of hormone fluctuations in the menstrual cycle made me stop and wanna pour one out for the two of them and Auri cause like.

Bruh.

Imagine being in the midst of some wild shit to save the galaxy but having to be like “Hold up gimme a sec, my tampon is leaking.” “No I’m not injured. I’m just curled up in the fetal position cause of cramps.”

Like… I can only hope that 250 years in the future there’s been substantial strides in reproductive healthcare for humanity.

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Do Betraskans have the same tendency as humans to remark on the height of tall people when encountering them?

Cause if so… 💀

Finian and Scarlett: *go to Trask*

Every single person the whole time they’re there: “Wow you guys are really tall”

Finian: “Great Maker, we’ve never noticed that before! Thanks for bringing it to our attention”

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Love the idea that Betraskans at one point had the knowledge and ability to make major changes to their genome and they still all look the same 💀

Ok so the whole “trasks surface is uninhabitable” thing. Why??? Magellan mentions like “the great sadness” but what does this entail?

my proposal?

Rogue planet interaction.

basically, trask is this lovely earth-esque world yes? All lovely and green and jazzy. That is until and random planet gets knocked from its orbit waaaaaaaayyyyy out in the systems equivalent of the Oort Cloud. It comes screaming on through, has a close flyby with trask, and does two things: 1) kicks it out into a much further (and therefore colder) orbit. And 2) causes masive volcanic activity (because the whole planet gets warped and squeezed by our unnamed evil planet) and starts a volcanic winter! This screws things up! A lot! It takes whole for temperatures and shit to get really bad but all of the beretreskans have to fuck off and live in holes. This also kills off like all the plants. This results in massive soil erosion and ecological collapse, another bad thing. This is why there is microscopic fragments of stuff in the air, all the plants and stuff died and so little flecks of dust and debris and volcanic ash get lifted from the ground and flung round and round and round. Very bad.

they were also just that pale to begin with, they just didn’t need to generate their own vitamin D because a lot of native plants did it already. Their eyes did get fucked up though, it was more resource efficient to keep everything kinda dim and so over the years children grew up with eyes that couldn’t handle high light conditions.

or something. Pure conjecture and all that.

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Bruh I swear we gotta be on the same wavelength or something cause I’ve had some shit in my drafts for a hot sec trying to work out wtf Magellan had been talking about too and just how stuff on Trask works in general.

Like he said it happened thousands of years ago but like… if Betraskans are so biologically similar to humans, how did they evolve features for living underground so quickly and so uniformly across their population? That’d have to be something more on the timescale of like hundreds of thousands of years — maybe even a couple million — no?

Ok so the whole “trasks surface is uninhabitable” thing. Why??? Magellan mentions like “the great sadness” but what does this entail?

my proposal?

Rogue planet interaction.

basically, trask is this lovely earth-esque world yes? All lovely and green and jazzy. That is until and random planet gets knocked from its orbit waaaaaaaayyyyy out in the systems equivalent of the Oort Cloud. It comes screaming on through, has a close flyby with trask, and does two things: 1) kicks it out into a much further (and therefore colder) orbit. And 2) causes masive volcanic activity (because the whole planet gets warped and squeezed by our unnamed evil planet) and starts a volcanic winter! This screws things up! A lot! It takes whole for temperatures and shit to get really bad but all of the beretreskans have to fuck off and live in holes. This also kills off like all the plants. This results in massive soil erosion and ecological collapse, another bad thing. This is why there is microscopic fragments of stuff in the air, all the plants and stuff died and so little flecks of dust and debris and volcanic ash get lifted from the ground and flung round and round and round. Very bad.

they were also just that pale to begin with, they just didn’t need to generate their own vitamin D because a lot of native plants did it already. Their eyes did get fucked up though, it was more resource efficient to keep everything kinda dim and so over the years children grew up with eyes that couldn’t handle high light conditions.

or something. Pure conjecture and all that.

[licentiouslegionnaire]

I assume Caersan used the Neridaa to add a fuck ton of mass to the star somehow and made it collapse straight into a black hole. Having your sun suddenly become a black hole with waaaaaay more mass would for sure fuck up a planet’s orbit and have the potential of pulling a planet apart due to its insanely strong gravity. The other option would be from a supernova. Like maybe Evaa was a massive star to begin with and would’ve eventually went supernova with its core remnant collapsing into a black hole at the end of its life (fucking up Syldra anyway if its supergiant phase hadn’t) but then Caersan just expedited the process somehow like going teehee and changing all its fuel to silicon to force it into its final stage just before collapse.

Follow up to my Neridaa fan theory:

why did syldra cease to exist? I know the star was collapsed into a black hole but how did that make it uninhabitable? How did it kill 10 billion people? Did Mr. Sai’nuit fire the neridaa at the planet?

like yes the star collapses and it’s very sad but the amount of mass remains constant, it’s not like the planet was flung off into deep space.

so how is slydra gone?

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Okay but like… a “space viagra” would probably be a really helpful medication in general because it would do something that helps keep all fluids moving in a fashion closer to how they do under gravity. Fixing zero g induced ED would just be one of many things it does.

Unhinged alternative solution below. You’ve been warned.

Gimp suit but the top half is a compression garment to help with blood circulation and fluid dispersion.

ok so I posted about waiting for inspiration and uhhhhh. I got it? Kinda? God help me I can’t say this without saying insane.

So let’s try anyways

Beretreskans are described as being, biologically at least, very similar to humans. Like their adjusted to gravity and have gravitationally optimized circulatory systems (this is important).

and in zero gravity, Humans have a ton of their fluids relocate to the upper half of their body, because blood vessels are very good at pumping stuff upwards, and not really vise versa.

this means that… certain bodily functions needed for… unnamed happy adult fun time activities don’t work very well without gravity.

Finian needs his exo suit to operate in gravity, and he needs to have his clothes on to use it.

have you noticed the problem yet? Finlett doesn’t work in either normal or zero G. This would put a damper on that vacation they take some time after the third book. so unless Finian is either happy with not really moving, or they find some sort of specialist low but not zero G area…

yeah… my brain did not cook with this one I won’t lie.

Poor fin. Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink eh?

[licentiouslegionnaire]

I’ve thought about this same thing every time I read people fucking in zero g. Like nah sorry dick don’t actually work with no gravity. Glad someone brought this up cause I wasn’t gonna. I mean it is fiction after all but still.

ok so I posted about waiting for inspiration and uhhhhh. I got it? Kinda? God help me I can’t say this without saying insane.

So let’s try anyways

Beretreskans are described as being, biologically at least, very similar to humans. Like their adjusted to gravity and have gravitationally optimized circulatory systems (this is important).

and in zero gravity, Humans have a ton of their fluids relocate to the upper half of their body, because blood vessels are very good at pumping stuff upwards, and not really vise versa.

this means that… certain bodily functions needed for… unnamed happy adult fun time activities don’t work very well without gravity.

Finian needs his exo suit to operate in gravity, and he needs to have his clothes on to use it.

have you noticed the problem yet? Finlett doesn’t work in either normal or zero G. This would put a damper on that vacation they take some time after the third book. so unless Finian is either happy with not really moving, or they find some sort of specialist low but not zero G area…

yeah… my brain did not cook with this one I won’t lie.

Poor fin. Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink eh?

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Born too late for Sabrina Carpenter, gone too early for Lexi Blue. At least she had Britneee Vox 😔

rip scarlett jones you would have LOVED sabrina carpenter

[licentiouslegionnaire]

She may not have read the series but boy did she read Tyler for filth with those choices

The names of squad 312 according to my friend who has never heard of this series before:

(keep in mind i told her the color of their "minds" before this - it will explain a bit 😭)

Zila - Clarissa

Tyler - Man no.1, Male Alpha Man, Caucasian™, James

Scarlett - Sassy Diva, Amber

Aurora - For Gotham, Leif, Felix, Abigail

Kal - Violet™, Andrew, Drew, Lucian

Cat - Bobbie, Alex

Finian - Green™, Mike Wazowski

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Fuck this country I’m moving to New Syldra

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Finian and Scarlett my beloveds. I love them together so much. You onto something with them bein the rich auntie and uncle. I am here for them being DINKs 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 And for the ridiculous dichotomy of their clothing choices lol.

Scarlett: always wearing the coolest hottest most beautiful outfits, can make a simple t-shirt and jeans effortlessly stylish, looks like she just stepped out the pages of a fashion catalogue at all times.

Finian: always wearing what seems to be the exact same black shirt and pair of pants, all the clothes he owns seem indistinguishable from each other except for how and where they’ve been snagged/ripped/stretched/cut/burned/oil-stained/etc.

Finian and Scarlett headcanons?? My underrated otp 🥺

i love them too!!!! the girls who get it get it, and the girls who don't don't

she hardly ever leaves the house without a good outfit, he dresses like he's homeless.

one of their favorite things to do together is watch trash reality tv.

they always eat down with their halloween costumes! a few honorable mentions being kermit and miss piggy, the grinch and martha may whovier, and roger and jessica rabbit

they are the epitome of the "dinner, tomorrow, me." "YAYYYYYY" audio.

in their first house, fin built her a HUGE closet so she can buy all the clothes she wants

he's really good at calling her out when she takes on too many responsibilities

fin makes that MONEY and eventually starts his own business creating exosuits for those who were affected by the lysergia plague like him, and scar becomes a pr specialist for a fashion magazine.

this, of course, makes them the cool, rich, DINK aunt and uncle who are able to take their niece and nephew whenever their parents can't put up anymore (kal and auri's son is a handful).

scar actually can cook and she's pretty good at it since she's been pretty much fending for herself and tyler her whole life. fin, however, cannot be allowed within the threshold of a kitchen because something will catch on fire or he will cut himself.

those are my thoughts! hope you enjoyyyyyy <3

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Covid-80. They kept the naming convention 💀

little funny fic

was reminded of the pandemic today (nearly 5 years since the first recorded case… good lord how time flies) and the election has me a bit (very) jittery, so I figured might as well make some fanfic, it might get my mind off of kt

so without further ado, my really dumb idea that I might expand upon later

what if the squad were stuck on deployment when future covid struck?

written in my notes app so far styling and spelling and stuff are probably terrible but I’m tired

AL:150, 16th of December 2380

Semperternity:

AL SIGINT division camera 725:

A gremp in a grubby coat wanders into frame, he locks eyes with a portly Terran and they swap paper bags. The human looks inside and walks off.

The gremp opens the bag, removes a cut of raw meat, and yawns. It then rubs its eyes.

18th of December 2380:

Aurora Legion Field hospital patient report 726437:

Species: Gremp

Ailment: unknown 

Symptoms: Persistent cough, fever, nausea, loss of taste and smell.

Treatment: Painkillers (Tylenol 100mg).

Mucus samples sent to lab for testing.

19th of December 2380:

AL neutral zone primary medical laboratory report:

Sample number 283636:

Common cold: negative

Influenza: negative 

Lystergia: negative 

Other respiratory viruses: negative

Notes: I ran these tests multiple times. Whatever this thing is I haven’t seen it before. Tests indicate it can infect at least 10 different species of sentients.

Quarantine the subject immediately.

January 4th 2381: 

Current semperternity case count: 284.

Tyler: My fancy new cybernetic eye really saves me so much trouble sometimes. I can sit in my dorm and read the news while sipping my coffee, saves me from having to get the physical copies from down in the cafeteria.

The legion is bumping up resources being sent to semperternity, I heard some whispers about a new virus or something? I have mission with the squad to deliver some medtech out that way later today.

March 12 2381:

Current total case count: 1,002,933

Current cases in the legion: 726

Scar:

My first thought when they sent us out to a listening post for an easier mission was “this will suck”. Imagine my surprise when our deployment is extended from 20 days to 20 weeks at the earliest because of this new virus, Covid-80 or something. Came out of semperternity and theirs big worry it’s some kinda of Rahaam offshoot, cause ya know, of course, once in a century pandemic just after a once in an aeon weed uprising. Just what we needed.

The one benefit is that I get to room with fin for the foreseeable future…. I hope the walls are thick.

Auri:

Time is once again laughing at me. The memories of the last pandemic I had to live through are still fresh. I never got over seeing New York that empty… such a freaky sight. Now I’m stuck in another one… yay? They kept the old naming scheme though, I had Covid-53 but now we have Covid-80. Very futuristic. But now me and the rest of the squad are stuck out in the boondocks on a rinky dink station for the next looooooooooooong while.

Maybe I can finally get everyone to watch the Lord of the Rings movies…

March 21 2381:

Current total cases: 1,103,833,936

Cases in the legion: 2,026

Tyler:

I enjoy reading about history, and I have nothing but free time given my… current situation.. so I’ve started reading the histories of pandemics in the past. I read about the crippling effects of the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1919, of the far reaching social impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic. Of the political change from the Ghentpox. I’ve called in a favor with an old friend currently working in the labs, and I’m seeing the numbers: I don’t think this will let up any time soon.

I might have to call in some favors, or some company, or both. I fiddle with the Syldrathi Blade on the table, and I make a call.

Finian:

Don’t get me wrong, sharing a bunk with Scarlett jones is quite possible the 2nd best thing to ever happen to me, the only thing better being dating her in the first place, but between her and the lack of zero G I’m barely able to walk. I might have to convince her to share my quarters on the Zero.

Anyways, I’m bored out of my skull, I’m only here for emergency repairs, so I have nothing to do on the average day beyond screwing around with whatever scrap electronics I can find. My Exosuit now has: a second bottom opener, an emergency oxygen system, a gremlin and the EM hardening to resist it in a special power mode, Solar charging, a Maker Damned Cupholder. I and genuinely running out of things to do. Maybe I should make something for Scarlett….

April 2nd 2381: 

Total cases: 1,356,736,378

Cases in the legion: 7362

Kal: 

I have come to understand why my culture emphasizes time to be alone and time being away from one’s Besh’mai. Without that, we would all spend all our days simply lying in bed with our beloveds. I have had amble opportunity to do so, and my heart aches when I think of when this will all be over.

I wake up with my Besh’mai next to me, we eat breakfast together, we play the card games Scar organizes together, we watch the pirated holovid movies finian has together. My heart is full to bursting with joy. Even my words here cannot describe it, for how does one describe a rainbow to a blind man? How does one describe an orchestra to a deaf man?. I can say this much, it is true peace to have her here, and I thank the ghosts of syldra for smiling at me so.

Saedii:

My shuttle was the last vessel to leave new syldra. I received special admission to travel from the Galactic Health organization. Gone are the days where my mighty ship sailed the void with no care for such organizations, but such things must be put aside to rebuild a culture.

I arrived at the backwater station after 16 hours of folding. Tyler Jones had personally invited me here, and though I loathed to admit it, I missed his company. I guide my personal shuttle into the docking bay, next to that hideous ship that I had planted a tracker on what was only months ago. And what long months they were. From officially organizing the reintegration (NOT surrender) treaty of the unbroken into sydrathi society to reorganizing the warbreed away back into a part of the whole, I had scarce time to catch my breath

Part two coming sometime maybe

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Are interspecies relationships not all that common or????

Like on one hand yeah Caersan was raging about his children feelin the Pull for Terrans and the Jones twins were never told their mother was Syldrathi, but then Kal told Auri his mom would’ve liked her and Finian’s family met Scarlett and liked her so it doesn’t seem like something that’d be widely frowned upon. Or is it truly odd/not common and nearly everyone else looks at them like wow what a bunch of freaky alien-fucking weirdos???

But like if it isn’t unconventional, then where are all the folk like the Jones twins???

Or is it that the Jones twins are the anomaly???

Had there never been mixed species children prior so everyone just assumed it wasn’t possible and was like cool we can raw dog aliens and not have to worry bout pregnancy? Like it’s gotta be rare right? Cause like Kal and Auri had been gettin it on for a minute. Scarlett was ready to climb Fin like a tree during the time loop. Tyler, even after discovering he was half-Syldrathi, was still tryna get down and dirty with Saedii on that ship.

Like does the Legion give everyone mandatory birth control for the duration of their training and field service or something so everyone’s like protection be damned? Cause I imagine squad stability getting shaken up due to maternity/parental leave would be rough, and teen pregnancies at a military academy wouldn’t fly anyway. But the academy should still be teaching safe sex practices to the teens, man.

It’s all fun and games til an STD jumps across species. Smh my head.

cause like imagine being the reason HPV has to be renamed or something. like whelp, guess it’s actually humanoid papilloma virus, turns out Betraskans can contract and transmit it too

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Finian and Scarlett as Wall-E and Eve that's it that's the post

[licentiouslegionnaire]

OK we seem to have similar interests in books and I can feel my hyper fixation on the Aurora cycle slipping away like sand between my fingers so I got to ask: what books do you recommend? I've worked through all of the Kristoff/Kaufman books and some more esoteric stuff like the Red Mars trilogy. I need my Sci-Fi fix and by god I'm not getting it

Flattered I’m being asked for recs, but I can’t really offer much cause I am very new to sci-fi and have barely read anything. Anywho what I have read:

Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir

The Disasters - MK England

Salvagers series - Alex White

The Expanse series - James SA Corey

Memory War duology - Karen Osborne

Carve the Mark duology - Veronica Roth

Locked Tomb series - Tamsyn Muir

The last two I’d say are kinda more a mix of sci-fi and fantasy. I’m also slowly working through the Dune series which has been really good so far minus the majority of the first book 💀 I nearly DNFd it cause I was so bored until like three-quarters of the way through but then was sucked in after that

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Imagining the subatomic particles in everyone’s bodies just going cha cha real smooth upon entering the Fold got me out here wheezing.

Makes sense the brain would crap out when its fundamental ways of operating are messed with. Honestly kinda surprised people are conscious and functional at all during Fold travel and don’t like immediately collapse and suffer seizures and organ failure.

I do wonder though about the whole color situation cause the fact that they can still see normally, just in greyscale, would indicate everything is still emitting and absorbing and/or reflecting in frequencies of visible light as per usual. So would it actually just be the cones in the eye that get messed with somehow?

Or heck ya know what, maybe it is totally possible in Fold physics that everything’s reflectance spectrum gets shaken up into what our eyes perceive as grey. The Fold already embarrassed the whole electromagnetic spectrum by making c irrelevant. It looked at photons and said “you ain’t the king of speed in here.”

With the hallucinations/psychosis, I find the whole “people over 25 are at a high risk can’t be in the Fold for long” thing strange cause it seems like Fold exposure would be something measured cumulatively, similar to now how there are lifetime limits on total radiation exposure for astronauts. Like everything is getting yeeted around at a subatomic level. I’m not a physicist or a biologist or nothing but I feel like that’s the sorta thing that’s gonna have lasting impacts regardless of age or durations of discrete instances.

What if in the early stages of developing Fold hallucinations and psychosis, when the brain is reaching the limits of its ability to maintain any semblance of normal function, the hallucinating is just what results from processing all the weird sensory input through insufficient means? Like you’ll be straight up scrambled and trippin balls the rest of your life cause too many things got yeeted around inside you for too long and you can’t recover from that, but at first, while you’re still in the Fold, you’re really just experiencing a part Nature ™️ with hardware and software not fully equipped to do so. Cause like if it’s FTL travel, things with mass are gonna be moving at speeds that as far as we know they weren’t really meant to and that’s gotta have some mind boggling effects on perception.

Speaking of which… how are their ships totally fine after all the weird stuff happening? Every particle that makes up a ship will just be doin the Harlem Shake for hours on end and she comes out of the Fold completely unbothered.

Also, I started the Three Body Problem immediately after finishing the AC series and boy was that whiplash crazy. I actually got weirdly unsettled by the first book despite enjoying it so I haven’t started the second one yet 💀

the Fold

ok last post for the day. Tonight’s topic: the Fold.

So we don’t know very much about it beyond:

Color doesn’t work in there

it causes psychosis and hallucinations

it lets you travel much faster than light speed.

so this is cool right? However, that’s all we know. Therefore, my theory is such:

The fold is a higher dimensional space.

due to this, light acts differently, I.E it can go faster, and given our eyes were designed for light to go at a reasonable Mach Jesus, it makes sense that in higher dimensions, given that light presumably goes Mach Jesus 2 electric boogaloo, our eyes don’t work as well.

therefore, the parts of our eyes that see color (called Cones) don’t work with higher dimensional light, because it have wavelengths in 4 dimensions, and so color doesn’t work as we would expect it to. Things still have color, but we can’t Perceive it.

given that the speed of light is different, and things can move in extra dimensions, this also means that electricity would probably do some really ****ed up things. Like giga wonk stuff, because electrons aren’t capped by stuff like “the speed of light” and “three dimensions”

therefore, maybe fold psychosis is induced by 3D neurochemistry having a violent and extreme reaction to electrons not working how they are supposed to.

this screws Everything (capital E everything) up. Synapses fire wrong, and places that require high volume transmission over (relatively) long distances (auditory, visual, and sensory cortexes) get really stuffed up.

this would cause the hallucinations and presumably, eventually psychosis, because ya know, the bits of your brain that connect to your body don’t work very well.

under 25’s aren’t as afflicted because their brains aren’t quite finished developing, and so can somewhat adapt to weird things happening. However it requires exposure, and so aurora trainees (and most school children) are exposed to some level of folding, to give them sea legs, for want of a better word.

but even under 25’s need breaks. My theory is because the brain expends a whole lot more energy just sending signals, because electrons fly off into extra dimensional space or shoot through the third dimension and screw with things, people in the fold basically experience the power draw of being awake at 150% speed, so for every minute of being alive, the body has to spend what would normally be 1.5 minutes of energy. This is why scar is compulsively snacking on the cookies on the Zero. Her body is basically burning 50% more calories than it should be, due to near constant exposure to the fold.

also it’s full of grandparent alien’s old dusty ass glassware. For some reason.

Also a ton of my reasoning here draws from the Three Body Problem series and that one really old story about the dimensions, shape world or shape land or something.

[licentiouslegionnaire]

Yo how much you think Zila screwed up in the past every time she had to fill out some document and put her birth year???

I just imagine it being like that short transition period at the beginning of every year where you keep writing the previous year due to repetition and muscle memory except she has to fix three whole digits cause she’s two centuries into the past.

Or like someone asks her DOB and when she gets to the year, she’s like “twenty…” and hesitates just long enough for it to be awkward.