And it's gonna get ugly, folks, so buckle in.
As important as it is to understand this scene as a moment of Character Growth for Stede?
It's also key to understanding Why Shit Went Down the way it did during the negotiation of the escape plan in Act of Grace.
So Stede stands up for himself and draws some boundaries. Good for him! Love to see it. And how does Ed respond to "I don't like who you are around this guy?"
And what does he say when he chooses to leave with Jack?
It's a through-line. In this moment, Ed is calling back to the conversation on the beach. I don't think he is being intentionally cruel - to him, what he's saying is more of a reflection of his struggles with feelings of worthlessness - but how can Stede help but make the association; the ONE TIME he draws boundaries with Ed, Ed leaves. Not only does Ed choose to go, rather than stay and respect Stede's boundaries (which, I would argue are completely reasonable here; Don't wantonly kill innocent animals), he is aligning himself with the man that has spent the entire day tormenting Stede ("This" - Jack killing Karl - "is who I am"). Again, I'm not saying that he's being intentionally cruel; I don't think he fully understands how awful Jack has been to Stede. But, surely you can see how, from Stede's perspective, this is absolutely DEVASTATING - much more than JUST the heartbreak of the man that you had so recently made tentative plans to join your life with ("Co-Captains!") breaking up with you. But breaking up with you AND CHOOSING ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE YOU KNOW OVER YOU.
So now we come to the Act of Grace and the scene on the beach:
No, AFTER that.
Ed proposes a plan to run away together. And Stede... doesn't say yes. In fact, his first instinct is to push back, THREE TIMES.
"But you said there was no escape."
"What about the English? They'll be all over us."
"China? That's quite far away."
Every time Ed dismisses his concerns - comes up with a reason to make the plan A Thing. Ed is clearly not going to take "no" for an answer.
And what happened the last time Stede told him no?
Ed left.
Ed broke his heart.
Ed sided with the kind of person that validates Stede's every insecurity about not being enough.
So is it any wonder that Stede gives in? And not even with enthusiastic consent. With the most tepid positive-leaning neutral responses possible.
"Yeah."
"I think so."
"Mm-hm."
(Which is to say nothing about his body language - the incredulous-bordering-on-disgusted face he makes when he talks about China, his lips pressed together when he says "Mm-hm", the way he starts the conversation leaning in toward Ed, his body twisted toward him, but quickly shifts so his body is angled straight ahead with his head awkwardly twisted to the side to look at Ed)
The seeds of tragedy were planted when Ed left Stede. Because, by doing so, he accidentally reinforced a lifetime of Stede being taught that his wants and needs are secondary to those of others, and that acceptance is conditional on compliance.
Moral Orel doesn't seem 100% like a show I'd feel seen in if you don't know me but then I remember the episode with the special ed kids and underneath the usual satire on extremist bible belt religion it reminds me WAY too much of how actual special ed departments treated me and other kids growing up.
Like the writers must HAVE BEEN THERE IN LIFE, man. I'd kill to sit down with Dino Stamatopoulos and find out what the fuck inspired him and the other writing staff that day.
I don't get out that much so this may be a belated realization, but is "spicy" ... used the way it is ... because TikTok would ban the adjectives we already had for sexy/steamy/hot/erotic?
also shoutout to the hospital for sending us a bunch of PDFs with information about preparing for surgery and what to expect, except the information was all generic stuff where most of it does't actually apply to wisdom tooth removal, so I had a huge panic attack where I nearly threw up because a bunch of the stuff mentioned in there is extremely triggering for us, only to then find out that stuff literally doesn't apply anyway, but now I feel like I have even less of an idea of what to actually expect because it's so hard to figure out which information does apply
just saw a fandom summer event whose first day prompt was "summer vacation in Brazil" and I'm like
it would be so funny to see a bunch of gringos showing up to vacation here on july only to realize we're in the middle of winter and the seasons differs between the hemispheres.....
On the one hand, I'm enjoying the Dark Urge playthrough because of how different it is from my first campaign. On the other hand, I hate it because I miss Gale 😭
Astarion's delight at Dexon's antics almost makes up for it. Almost
I'm also so pissed because Phu came back, accepted the job with Nan's company that Nan literally fought to help him avoid, then up and abandoned him AND his fucking job. Like Phu fucks with Nan's personal life so much that now he needs to let that bleed into Nan's professional life? Nan was doing fine. He was literally letting go and moving on with his life when Phu returned and fucked everything up again. Phu has no sense of responsibility. Not even for his own damn coffee shop. I can forgive a lot, but I cannot forgive people fucking with jobs/careers. Nan deserves to feel secure in at least one aspect of his life damn it.
you can't really support self diagnoses and then have a little asterisk that says 'until they act so cringe that i doubt they have any mental health problems at all'
karin seems like she would... order really spicy foods but not be able to eat it all bc she can't handle it that well, and just be stuck eating something that is physically painful for her to consume and be unable to like... concede and admit defeat. so she just keeps eating those curry noodles or whatever. she just keeps eating.