#they weren’t wrong that’s how i feel
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looked through my early childhood art the other day. particularly fond of this grown up prediction where i’m just laying dead in a pool of blood. innovative
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Funniest bit of the dnd movie is Xenk clearly being an NPC the DM introduced for lore and plot purposes who’s a competent fighter because of course he is, his reputation and backstory require it. But whoopsies the DM made him too powerful, the whole party likes him, and now they want him to come with to fight the BBEG which will completely and utterly fuck up the encounter balance
So instead of there being any actual plot reason he can’t join Xenk just says “I can’t. This is something only you can do.” And then walks off, never to interact with the party again because the DM just knows those little shits will find a way to use their OP creation against them
#but this movie was fun! clearly understood and had fun with its source material without being pure fan service#like don’t get me wrong there was fan service and jokes but I feel like even not knowing dnd you could enjoy it#I also really liked how you could tell what each spell was as it was cast even if they weren’t named! my wizard main self was so excited lol#xenk yendar#dungeons and dragons#honor among thieves#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dungeons and dragons movie#dnd#idk what we’re tagging this with gang so I went with all of it
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it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏
#there’s a threshold I think of what I accept in comments about characters#and their actions or about who is in the wrong or what should happen#because I do like reading people’s opinions#and sometimes when someone is like I didn’t like obi-wan in this fic#I’m like makes sense! maybe you weren’t supposed to or maybe the argument they had was supposed to not be clear cut on who is right#because arguments in real life don’t always have a clear cut winner or morally superior person lmao#I’m ok with that I’m ok with comments saying boo this character is annoying#because sometimes they just are (eg the amount of people who just don’t like obiwan in pbatmb like?? yeah of course he’s not gonna be nice#but I digress lol#anyway but there’s a threshold of when comments about not liking a character go too far and you’re just like.#saying mean things about the writing itself and that’s not something lm gonna allow to be normalized#no matter the intention behind it#you do not type a comment like this knowing it wil be send to an author#who will get an email notification about a comment#click on it and go oooo long comment :D and then go oh.#you don’t do that it’s rude it’s being a jerk#I’ve been here for like 3 almost 4 years I feel ancient in this fandom sometimes#and I’ve gotten so much feedback on my work through that time and so many nice comments and community#but mean comments can really hurt especially new writers#and they can make people who maybe would write fic for a fandom decide to not#like this isn’t even that mean I can almost see the writer just wanting to say how they feel#but sometimes you do not have to 🙏#also I just think this understanding of the characterizations in the fic and probably their understanding of the characters in the films#is a wee bit trash but that’s for me to say in the long tags of my own blog post and not for me to comment on their fics for the fandom#(they don’t have any but I did check because 3am kit felt nosy)
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my jgy thoughts have been expanding and adapting and roiling and toiling etc etc etc and all of it is coming down to me affectionately marveling at this character. he’s cut-throat. he’s cunning. his kindness leaves lasting impressions. his mercy is what predates his demise. he’s one of the few cultivators who helps those in need. he will sacrifice them if it benefits him. he loved. it didn’t last. it killed him. it orchestrated his downfall. he’s a genius. he’s paranoid. he compartmentalizes. he splits the world into who he would sacrifice and who he would not. people he loves and people he would sacrifice are not mutually exclusive. he’s filial to a fault. it was all for his mother. he is a study in assimilating to survive. the results vary. he manipulates the herd mentality to his benefit. it is turned against him. he is killed for the one thing he didn’t do by the one person he wouldn’t sacrifice. it is still somehow better than what the hive-mind cultivation world would have done. i love this tragic kaleidoscope of a character.
#this was sparked out of my love for jgy#my in-the-tags hot take is that i am just increasingly bored by unironic jgy did nothing wrong takes adfksks#like the statements that he is a victim and he has done helpful things and he has done harmful things. are also not mutually exclusive!#and i think that makes him fun :]#if jgy wasn’t a little fucked up he’d be boring#like it’s /fun/ to me that imo he was overtly targeted by nmj#but nmj was also like the last like of defense before the jins completely abused their power#like! we love duality. we love contradictions#i won’t even say ‘ask me abt how jgy views the concept of hurt’ bc i’m gonna tell you!#i personally believe that he was being honest when he said lxc was the one person he didn’t want to hurt#i just also believe that he doesn’t see the things he has done#namely the use of the fucked up song of clarity#as things that would hurt lxc#bc they weren’t done /to/ him!#lxc was just a pawn in that moment#and while i believe that jgy most of the time did not. pawn-ify. lxc#by taking the song of clarity (something entrusted to him by lxc)#and using it to kill nmj (someone jgy cared abt)#that hurts lxc!#i feel embarrassed i was like ‘let u tell me u my big jgy thesis paper’ and idk if it landed#but i feel like jgy sees ‘hurt’ as what is done to you#not what happens around you
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i’ve been one (1) day with the kindergarteners and i enjoyed so much more than i ever did with the high school teens
#the little kids are amazing!!!#so sweet and just excited about everything#their energy is very contagious#and seeing them make learning connections is amazing#you really forget how you weren’t born with all these skills and had to learn them#seeing them do math and learn how to count and write numbers is so much fun#i feel great#compared to the high schoolers where i went back home exhausted sad and unmotivated#i always thought that because older kids/teens were more aware or knew more it was going to be easier#but god was i wrong#may actually rethink that whole teaching high schoolers thing#logan.txt
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I got mad at the person at the fast food drive through window and now I feel really ashamed. I’m someone who dwells FOREVER on awkward and/or emotional social situations… so I guess I’m adding being a Karen to that person to the list of things my brain will never shut up about. I feel really shitty
#personal post for ts;#Zuzu note;#should I go back and apologize?#I kept telling them my order and they got it wrong on the screen no less than 10 times#I started saying the order very slowly and loudly after that#I started yelling it at some point because I did get irritated#I basically wanted a burger with just lettuce and meat and bun#but they weren’t getting it#I already know that’s an order that the restaurant is capable of#but what if they were new??? and they didn’t know how to do it???#I feel so so bad#being rude to service workers is a cardinal sin like for real
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#the other day my husband kept talking about his childhood and laughing about how bad of a kid he was#how he did so much bad shit and how he deserved every punishment he got#and I just had to take a moment#because I don’t usually say anything when he jokes like this#but this time I did#I told him he wasn’t a bad kid#that he was misunderstood and that the people who were supposed to try to understand him didn’t try as much as they should have#and that he was just a kid who was experiencing life for the first time and that there was nothing wrong with that#and that just because the adults in his life weren’t ready to understand him doesn’t mean he was unloveable#and that I love him even when he thinks the worst of himself#even when he thinks he doesn’t deserve it#even when he gets angry or upset#that it’s okay to feel these things and express it#and that at he is a good person and that he is deserving of my love
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Was Anyone But You a good Much Ado About Nothing adaptation? No, not at all, but fuck it was fun!
#y’all know I have many thoughts about this play and these characters#but even though the movie didn’t completely live up to my expectations as an adaptation#I still really enjoyed it!#and I really despise all those people making posts about how sydney sweeney can’t act#idk it seems a little rude#my main problem is how they messed up the benedick and beatrice characterization and dynamic#I love that they played up the ex lovers thing (which is left up to interpretation in the play)#and i love love queer Hero and Claudio!!!#but their hatred of each other didn’t really pack the same punch as in the original#I suppose I wish they weren’t afraid to make the characters bigger assholes?#ya know- give them more flaws?#because right now the enemies part doesn’t really feel believable for big parts of the movie#They really could have leaned more into making Bea a bit of a cold and snappy mess (as she is in the original)#and Ben more of…ya know…actual human disaster who can’t commit#both of their characters in the play are driven by their desire never to marry and their distrust for the opposite sex#They included this a bit with Bea (her not believing in true love and all that)#but her break up with Jonathan (because he was too nice???) didn’t really convince me of it#They also keep insisting that Ben is a fuckboy but we never really see it demonstrated?#I personally don’t mind the fact that they changed up the whole ‘convincing them that the other secretly loves them’ bit#especially considering this is only loosely based on much ado#but I do think they made it a bit messy considering they included the gulling scenes but only as a joke#I wish they’d either leaned fully into the much ado plot or ditched it#I think what a lot of adaptations get wrong is that they’re either too afraid of leaning into their og media#or too afraid of seperating themselves from the og media#oh god I’ve reached the tag limit help#anyways- rant over#anyone but you#maria talks about things#much ado about nothing#beatrice x benedick
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When I say the greasers would be prejudiced, I mean they grew up and live in an environment and time period where stereotypes, ideas, propaganda, etc, were more common than today (also they still are common, to the point I don’t think there’s anyone without them to some degree) and exploring those ideas as how they culminate and manifest and how the greasers can unlearn them is much better than erasing these very real concepts and themes within the Outsiders itself as well as the era, thus doing a disservice to both.
#ofc you shouldn’t go into detail something you don’t know shit about#like that’s not your place#and like obviously don’t portray that shit as okay and normal (even though it was thought so for the time period)#but idk removing all nuance is super iffy#also the greasers are canonically all pretty misogynistic#evie rambles#the outsiders#like I really like how se hinton explores misogyny in her book#she doesn’t sht away from her characters being assholes and sexist#pony literally admits that he and the guys will talk derogatory about girls#but se hinton makes it apparent that this is shitty of them and pony himself is embarrassed admitting it#also dally bothers cherry with pony saying that if it weren’t a soc girl he would’ve helped#but se hinton writes this as a scene that feels wrong and cruel with johnny intervening because dally is scaring and upsetting them#plus even though she doesn’t give her female characters big roles (other than cherry)#it’s clearly not a bias against the girls or for the boys#because outsiders is very much a male-centric stort with masculinity and male bonds being two of the biggest themes#and it manifests in all the character from johnny who can’t fit into the normal mould of masculinity#that he sees in dally and admires#but grows as a character and understands the flaws of it and ends up denouncing#to dally who is the mould having been twisted into it by the very system he hates#to ponyboy who is constantly unsure of what end of the spectrum he should emulate#since he begins always falling short#and ends up being very much able to perpetuate and perform these gender roles#and finally does denounce them like johnny did#the female characters also have their own agency and aren’t defined by the men in their life even tho their characters seem centric to them#ugh there’s just so much to say about this book!!!
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fucked around and accidentally got not just one, but two deeply upsetting dreams last night
#in the first one someone who wronged me apologized and said they were gonna do better and i believed them#then i woke up and realized they hadn’t and they weren’t#in the second i was temporarily promoted to godhood. and i saw how small and insignificant and unchanging human lives were#and then i came back to humanity and tried to warn others. but the only thing they could think to do to change it was meager spontaneity#they quit their jobs and traveled to prove their destiny wrong but i knew the gods didn’t give a shit about an ant’s new career plan#nothing changed in the end but it was still the most they could do to feel alive and in control. then i woke up again
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I think…it is time for me to give up on ever finding love
#which is a shame bc there’s so much of it inside of me that i feel like i’m drowning in it#and i just want to be able to share it with someone and love someone completely and be loved completely in return but#i feel like i no longer know how to be vulnerable anymore#and have spent so much time learning how to be alone that i’m terrified of anything different#but even if all of that weren’t true. no one wants to be with me#no matter how much i try to put myself out there#i’m not seen as worthy by anyone#and it’s bc exhausting dwelling on it and constantly obsessing over what’s wrong with me and why no one wants me so#i’ve decided to give up. and just make peace with my current existence#it’s ok if it’s just me forever. i will learn how to be enough for myself
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This cashier at the grocery store pissed me off so much I wrote a complaint to the owner (who my parents know). She was yelling at disabled workers. She was yelling across the store at them. And making angry announcements over the loudspeaker. It was so uncalled for. I feel so bad for the ppl that have to work with her. They do not deserve to get yelled at by her.
#v true#shut up nicki#I wrote like a two page complaint about her#I’m anxious to begin with when I leave the house and it was made so much worse with her yelling#and I wasn’t even the one getting yelled at#I never complain#but how this women acted was so uncalled for#I feel so bad for those wonderful ppl who got yelled at#they did nothing wrong#they were doing their jobs and she still yelled at them bc they weren’t helping her
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“Danse Macabre,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #25.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Pencilers and Inkers: Alessandro Cappuccio, Alessandro Vitti, and Partha Pratim; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight vol. 9#Moon Knight 2021#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Layla el-Faouly#while this tends to brush over Marc’s deep seated feelings of otherness and ‘wrongness’ that have followed him since childhood#and made him believe that there was nothing good to be found in him#that’s okay I don’t expect Black Spectre to know everything about Marc’s psyche hahaha#unless this is somehow Randall back from the dead AGAIN in which case he should also know about Marc’s girlfriend that Randy killed#and whose death Marc eventually sort of blamed himself for#speaking of dying girlfriends I would probably be more miffed about how this issue leaves off with Layla if it weren’t confirmed#that she’s coming back as a superhero in her own right within a month#so at least they’re kind of sort of edging past the fridging allegations hahaha
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#all the love and all the effort i put in for you to turn you back on me voluntarily and wrong me at my lowest point#but depite that i feel at peace bc i know i will always be a giver and a miserable shit like you cant ever change that about me#i hope you cry when you see how hard it is to cross paths with someone willing to give and give and give like me#i hope you rot and most importantly i hope you leave me alone for the rest of our lives. you make me sick#here’s to never forgetting and never forgiving#here’s to never demonizing this flaming rage that will always reside within me#as a protector#as a guardian#as lens that allow me to see things clearly#if it weren’t for my rage god knows how much longer i would’ve turned a blind eye and continued to excuse your mistreatment#there is honor and love and care in the violence that my rage generates#because above all it is here not to inflict pain but to protect me#today and always i embrace it as i let the remaining embers warm my chilly hands and soothe the flaky edges of my heart
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u know an episode is good when u have to pause it in the middle to cry
#MASH s06e03 fallen idol. yeah#ok I understand why everyone loves alan alda episodes now#hawkeye finally breaks under the pressure and it’s bc he cares abt radar and feels guilty for indirectly getting him hurt????#and when he breaks he lashes out and hurts radar???? the very person he felt guilty abt hurting in the first place?????#and then everyone yells at him abt it?????? hawkeye’s terrible horrible no good very bad day fr#oughhh the way he insists he’s the one to operate on radar. him telling bj his hands were shaking.#throughout everyone yelling at him u can tell he like. agrees with them. he does not need to be told that he fucked up. he knows.#and he feels awful abt it!! can u imagine the absolutely unbearable amount of guilt.........#ough and this episode is so complex too. I like how... ppl get hurt but no one is framed as a bad person for causing that hurt.#ofc the episode is sympathetic to hawkeye so that part’s obvious but also. everyone who yells at hawkeye. they weren’t wrong for that!!#they weren't wrong to be angry. they weren't wrong to scold him!!#but it all still adds up to rly hurt hawkeye. even though the ppl involved didn't individually do anything wrong.#hdjkhflkj this isn't rly analysis I'm just pointing out vry surface level things abt the episode. I'm sorry I just rly like this episode ok#narcissus's echoes#the horrors of war show abt the horrors of war
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they should invent a suicide that doesnt inconvenience ppl around you
#i need to find friends who are as stupid and annoying as me i think#bc talking to ppl ik friends with now makes me want to die all the time and it’s not bc there’s anything wrong with them or how they act#they’re all great and really nice and smart and cool#but i feel so inadequate all the time why why do i have to be this fucking stupid and annoying#and always behind everyone on everything#and why did there have to be sth intrinsically wrong with me#abt how i look and how i act and how i talk and how i think#and i don’t even mind being stupid but being constantly surrounded by ppl sm smarter and more interesting is so exhausting#but i also never met ppl who didn’t make me feel like this#and i have hard time already befriending ppl so maybe i just wasn’t meant to have friends in the first place#it’s not for me ig and it never was#anyway idk if i really don’t want to inconvenience anyone when killing myself or if it’s just an excuse#i’m so tired and done and i still have an essay left and now this exam i fucked up#and all my friends who after writing it weren’t happy with it either apparently all got insanely good grades#so if i’m the dumbest one once again#i wish i hadnt been born and i wish i could just die on the spot and i wish to have never had existed in the first place
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