#kids are so funny

[yiddishlore]

Yesterday I was informed by a 7 year old that my name is now Tzipora because “you have teeth and Tzipora had teeth."

[archivewriter1ont]

I like plotting dialogue in a script format before I actually rough draft a fic. I thought this little uncle-nephew scene would make somebody smile!

For context, Koda is my OC, Hunter's son, and twenty pounds of crazy in a five-pound bag. Echo and Crosshair are living the bachelor life on Pabu between Echo's stints with Rex when they get babysitting duty.

[0ddity]

middle schooler: you have a gf?

me: no i don't have a gf

middle schooler: how old are you

me: i'm 24

middle schooler: damn you 24 and no gf? that's sad as hell.

midder schooler: you lonely?

me: no i'm not

middle schooler: do you like ms [coworker]? do you ever hang out?

me: yes i like her, she's a good person to work with! and no, we've never hung out outside of work. i've only hung out with mr [other coworker] outside of work. i went to his birthday party!

middle schooler & her friends: ooooooooooh *kissing noises*

[bisexualchaosdemon]

Me: Look! Can you see the moon?

5y/o: Yeah! Why is it half in and half out? [It's a gibbous moon tonight]

Me: Well, we can only see the moon because of sunlight bouncing off the earth. And when–

5y/o: Wait, wait, wait. You care too much.

💀💀💀

[intothestacks]

Adventures in Librarian-ing

I remember one time this little kid (either Kindergartener or Grade 1, can't remember) came up to me telling me very very seriously how he was sharing a secret with me.

And I was like "Oh?"

And they moved closer and went "There's a magic book in this library. Can I show you where it is? But don't tell anyone."

And I, of course, played along and very solemnly swore to not tell anyone about the secret magic book in the library.

[h0oty]

looked through my early childhood art the other day. particularly fond of this grown up prediction where i’m just laying dead in a pool of blood. innovative

[apollos-boyfriend]

obsessed with the little kid on the airplane who i overheard excitedly telling their parent(s) “i know big words too! like hive mind!” so fucking real kiddo

[the-exasperated-idealist]

Not saying writers are weird, but younger me had an OC who was a police sketch artist who got all beat up by the bad guys, because they were so good at their job, and beating up people is what bad guys do (by 12 year old logic).

Which isn't so bad.

Until you get to the point where this character is bleeding out, and asking the person loading them onto a stretcher for a pen; which, they obviously refuse. OC proceeds to execute a portrait of the perp. WITH. THEIR. OWN. BLOOD.

On their white T-shirt

(Because of course, they just happened to be wearing white)

AS THEY'RE BLEEDING OUT.

Cut to the detective on scene recieving said blood portrait and casually going yep. i've seen it all now.

12 year olds are wild man. I can't even.

[ethereal-w0lf]

THIS KID IS AT IT AGAIN! Yesterday he told me he can beat Brigham Young in a Fortnite 1V1. Like- little dude, I know we are in Utah and you are probably very Mormon but why do you powerscale yourself in comparison to prophets and Mormon figures???

Also again I think that’s heresy! 

[my-way-out]

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[shewas-there]

that time when a 6 year old fan sent in a cassette recording of his own episode for Dexter's Laboratory and the producers made it into an actual episode

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

I love my 8yo’s eclectic playlist requests. Classic kids pop, the Doors, Chemical Brothers, Wham!, orchestral, she’s got a bit of everything.

Only thing she won’t allow is for me to dance around to it.

I still do it, anyway. 😏

[0ddity]

some highlights from working at the daycamp

[silvermoon424]

My 4yo niece is the funniest person I know, for real

[st4rfckerz]

HELP my 7 year old cousin asked to scroll through my photos. She saw a picture of 2022 Hayden at the Obi Wan premiere and goes “Ewww, he’s so ugly. What’s wrong with his neck?” DEAD😭😭😭

LMAOOO

[norelationtoatticus]

My toddler has recently developed strong preferences for what kinds of apples she likes. No green ones. Honeycrisp and Gala are good. Pink Ladies are her favorite. But the skin is a little tough on those, so she has trouble eating them unless I peel them for her. And the way she asks for this is... um... interesting? This sweet 2 year old baby just walked up to me and said...

"I wanna eat a lady with the skin peeled off, mama!"

So. There's that. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the kitchen, flaying an apple.