#they were really like: we're not saying it's because she's a WOMAN. The problem is that her mother was “practically a nun!”

[rhaenin-time]

Seeing the bigoted discourse around HotD as an Indigenous woman from an interracial extended family, one full of 'illegitimate' circumstances of births that the Canadian government has always been SO eager to weaponize, and especially as the daughter of a 60s scoop survivor who found his way back to his birth family which means we navigate belonging to two families, of two different races, in two different ways... it's actually hurtful and a little scary to see all the vitriol levelled against fictional 'illegitimate' children by a MODERN audience.

This is a weird example but it's also the most famous. You know that saying about how you shouldn't insult Trump for his body because he'll never hear or be hurt by it, but the people around you who might share those traits will? How when you insult a powerful or abstract figure in a really low way, that insult is not just for them?

Well, when you express bigotry over fictional characters, obviously said fictional character isn't going to receive it. But real people who share those traits will.

I swear, I know I'm basically setting myself up for a never ending 'to write' list at the moment, but I do intend to someday dive into the subject and SHAME the bigots.

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ AMERICAS SWEET-TARDs

ᯓ★ Homelander is forced to babysit you, the troublemaker of The Seven. Deadpool!reader does not like cooperating, dark humour, goofy stuff, typical cursing, gore, story is set on season 4. Reader is gn (uses they/them pronouns)!!

ᯓ★

How you found yourself in Vought's office is hard to explain. One thing you were bursting into the building of Amazon and the second you're here. You sat on the sofa, looking around as you whistled a tune to save yourself from the boredom.

"Why the fuck am I involved with this?" Your eyes perked up at the distant voices from outside the door.

"I'll explain when we're there"

Oh?

Being the nosy person you are, you got up and pressed the side of your ear against the door to get a better hearing of the conversation.

"Your plan won't come together if you don't settle the pieces in place, and this is your plan so you need to work with me here"

Suddenly it's quiet...

Did they leave?

Before you could react, the door opens and you ended up falling flat on your face. You tilt your head up to see it's Sister Sage and Homelander looking down at you. You chuckle.

"Sooo... you both look angry... did I do something?"

Hearing your question, Sister Sage scoffs at you.

"Did you?? You broke into Amazon's headquarters because they messed up your order. You even threatened to kill their CEO. Do you know how bad that is for the image?"

"I refuse to refer to a person named Jeff Bezo a CEO" You said when you got on your feet while dusting off your knees.

"Besides, I don't have an image. I'm pretty sure that I don't even have a face!!" Hearing your words, Sister Sage can't help but roll her eyes at you.

"Nonono seriously, I do not have a face. All this underneath the mask? It's like smashed up birthday cakes in there—"

"Okay I get it!!" She glares at you... then turning her attention to Homelander who's been listening attentively with his hands behind his back.

"You're babysitting Deadpool" She commanded like an order and he turns to look at her with his brows slightly raised.

"Me?" He said, clearly from his face he looks like he's about to be ticked off.

"Yes, I don't know what is it about them that makes it so hard for me to predict their moves" Just as she said that, she turns to look at you. You bat your eyes at her like a deer caught in headlights.

"Not to mention you're making a shit tons of problems for me to deal with here. You even had Lily be sent for therapy!!" She points at you and you held both your hands up in defeat by the mention of your agent.

"Hey now... All I did was cut off my arm and mailed it to Elon Musk. How else was I gonna give him the middle finger?" Your defense being enough to have her let out a sigh as she looks away.

"I don't care, just don't let them do anything stupid while I go help Firecracker with her script" She said to him and you both watches as she leaves. Once she's gone, he turns to look at you, a displeased expression on his face.

To your surprise, he was really actually TOTALLY doing what she's asking him to. You never saw him take orders like that before, let alone from a WOMAN.

"What was that?!" You exclaimed, both arms thrown towards the hallway where Sister Sage is seen to be walking down.

"What happened to Misogyny?! You're really just gonna let that happen???" You looked at him but he just rolls his eyes at you.

"Shut up. She's done more than you've ever did compared to your years here" He walks past you and ends up sitting down on the sofa. You don't say anything while you watch him go.

You're aware that your inability to die makes him bored of you but you didn't think he'd find you this boring.

Honestly it kinda hurts...

Because now you're gonna have to do more crazy shit to piss him off.

You cleared your throat as you forced up a smile.

"You know what, great talk. I'm gonna go be a good citizen now—"

"You step one foot out of this room and I'll lazer off two of your fucking legs"

"..."

With no idea how to respond to the threat. You stood at the door, looking down at your legs then back up at him... before taking a wide step out of the room.

He let's out an annoyed groan.

"Look I don't see why all of a sudden, you two, give the slightest shit about what I do. Has it ever occurred to you that this is my coping mechanism after YOU SLAUGHTERED NOIR—"

"Oh for christ sake, cry me a fucking river"

"You sure you really want that? 'Cause trust me I can cry the entire Nile river in this very room— and I can't promise you it'll be water" He looks at you and you look back at him, your body still standing a few feet away from the room.

"You done whining?" He asks, his expression showing not even the least of interest in your act. You let out an offended sound.

"Am I done whining?! Do you even know me?? That's LITERALLY all I do!!"

Clearly feeling hurt, you began to storm off. From the distant you could hear Homelander let out an exhausted sigh but you could care less right now.

Man if only you could go back to the first day where you two met.

Oh how traumatised he looked when he saw you cut your ears off in an attempt to escape Stillwell's welcoming speech.

Once you made it to the ground floor, you kicked the entrance door open with your chest slightly puffed out.

Who the hell does Ms. Know-It-All thinks she is to have any authority over you? You're the original member of The Seven for fuck sake.

"Holy shit it's Deadpool!!" A fan, seemingly a teenager points at you and you turned towards their group with your most charming smile.

"Hey now, try not to cream your pants... if you've even reached that stage yet..." Without even letting a second pass, the group stands around you as the one at the front takes out their phone for a selfie.

"Say Chimichangas!!" You said, holding up peace signs.

"Chimichangas!!"

⊹FLASH⊹

Once the picture is taken, the fans are quick to check the results while you scratched the itch on your butt. Once satisfied, they gave you their thanks before walking away.

At the same time you could hear the sound of Homelander approaching you from behind. You let out an annoyed groan before turning to face him but before you could even react, he grabs you roughly by the jaw.

"Years of your shit and you still won't learn your fucking place. If I say something. You do it. Understand?" He glares at you, his teeth gritted as his lips formed his signature psychotic grin.

You stare back and you could feel from his grip that you were being slightly lifted off the ground.

"Well excuse me, my liege. I must have missed the memo about being your personal slave. Is it too late to withdraw my contract?" He stares at you... before letting go of you while looking away out of despise.

"You're a cancer on this earth" He said as he's busy wiping his glove clean on his chest. You simply laugh at his remark.

"AH HAHaa hoo... well... you can always count on me to pop up unannounced" You shoot him a wink and decided to walk away, not really caring much of the consequences if you did.

Seeing you walk away like he's nothing, Homelander clenches his jaw out of irritation.

"You're always testing my patience (Y/N)" He said and you instantly stopped walking when you hear him addressing you by your real name.

"Uuugggh seriously? You ran out of tricks so now you're using my government name? You've gone old, John" You fold your arms as you turned to face him.

Noticing the angry look on his face, you are almost not surprised with what happens next.

⌁ZZZZ⌁

You look down, realising you've been lasered in half. Sounds of people nearby screaming was like background noise for you because you were too focused watching your upper half slide off your lower half... then eventually falling to the ground. You grunt from how annoying the situation has become.

"Ah great... now I'm half the person I used to be..." You partially joked as Homelander picked you effortlessly off the ground before taking you back into the Vought Tower.

"Can you at least tell me why you're taking away my rights as a republican?" You asked with your upper half being carried over his shoulder.

"You don't matter enough to know" He says.

After shooting several finger guns at the horrified employees passing by, you made it back to the office where all of your problems began. You yelp when Homelander just threw your body parts on the sofa, you turn to face him after your efforts to have yourself sit up straight.

"Jeez, you're about as exciting as a stale piece of bread" You said and he takes the sofa in front of you. For a couple of seconds he doesn't say anything but watch you with a stoic expression.

You interrupt the silence with a cough.

Then it's silent again.

.....

Okay this is too boring.

"Could you laser me again for entertainment—? Since you're such a buzz kill it can't be hard" You asked but he stays quiet, not saying anything to add fuel to your fire of words.

Once you realise what he's doing, you let out a long groan.

"Where's my Katana? I might as well just kill myse—"

"How are you not worried about all of this?" He interrupts you and your body freezes in place just as you're about to reach for your weapons.

"How is it that everyone's going through a fucking crisis and you're just... jacking off and watching Netflix series like somebody's drunk unc" He stares at you, slight glimpse of envy shown in his eyes. You scoff out of disbelief before laughing and wheezing uncontrollably.

"Well, unlike some people— UHMUHMyouUHMUHM , I happen to know how to unwind and have fun. Maybe you should try it sometime. Might loosen that stick up your ass" You shoot him a smile and you could feel your powers growing back the bottom half of your body.

He snarls at you.

"I'm the Homelander. I'm the strongest being ever. I don't have time to unwind"

"I don't know man what kind of strongest being brags about being the strongest?" You said with your back pressed against the cushion of the sofa, your hand just casually toying with your dagger.

"DON'T YOU—"

Just as he stands up to shout at you with his eyes now glowing red, the door to the office opens and you both turn to see it's Sister Sage. She looks at you, somewhat an unsurprised reaction to your torn off body parts.

"Great, at least you're not off running to harass another important client of ours"

"Are we done?" Homelander stands near her, clearly fed up with the time he's spent with you so far.

You groan but this time purposely making it known to everyone in the room.

"Great, now there's two people pinning against me. You know... it wouldn't hurt to tell me what your plan is. Maybe I can help!" You said, putting up your most charming smile.

Sister Sage stares at you... more like judging you but then she had a look of epiphany.

"Actually... hearing you say that... you could be useful... if we can get you to start a hate campaign towards the Starlighters. This could make my part with Firecracker so much easier. And besides! Incels LOVE you. You've practically obtained the based persona. You're the perfect mascot" She said, her eyes sparkling as she's clearly brainstorming now.

Homelander stands there, a plastic grin on his face while he has both his fists placed on his hips.

"What?" He says, his eery grin still on his face. You laugh as you crossed your... baby legs?

"You hear that Johnny? People LOOOVEEE me..." You bragged which instantly ticked him off

"Listen up, you walking STD. The ONLY thing that people love about you is your annoying, obnoxious, unfunny fuck of thinking you're gods gift to comedy"

"Well I did make that comedy christmas movie with Maeve. Rest in peace that poor soul, it's like I can still hear her in my nightmares" You said while pretending to wipe away a tear. He rolls his eyes at you and Sister Sage watches in almost amusement.

Her slight smile making Homelander whip his attention to her immediately.

"Are you fucking enjoying this right now?" He glares and she quickly covers it up with a serious look.

"I'll go prepare the venue" She simply said before walking away. You laugh as you notice Homelander still having that angry look on his face when watching Sister Sage walk away.

"Do you need a snickers little kid? You're not you when you're hunrgy"

⌁ZZZZ⌁

....

"You just had to push my fucking buttons" He said, the red glow in his eyes dimming after lasering a hole through your head. He stares at your corpse that was still for a moment before you flipped him off with both hands.

He rolls his eyes with a defeated sigh before walking out the office.

[The Next Day]

"GOOD MORNING AMERICA!! IT IS ME!! YOUR FAVOURITE SUPERHEROOOOO!!" The crowd goes wild as you make your appearance on stage. Your mic in hand and the other waving at the crowd.

Homelander who's also present at the campaign, watches from the backstage with a stoic expression.

"Now now now! I have been gathered here to talk about the Starlighters! Huh! Yeah?!" You began to shoot finger guns at the crowd when they started booing at the mention of the Starlighters.

"I know!! Terrible people!! Boooo!! Tomato tomato" You chuckled as you walk across the stage.

"I mean how could you cancel the one and only Homelander? He literally has the personality of a wet sock. Dude already has his own demons to battle!! As a matter of fact, what kind of person goes after a father?! It's not our fault your daddy left you Starlight!!" The crowd cheers at your words.

You turn to give Homelander a thumbs up but he just looks at you with an unimpressed look.

The moment your turn of the campaign was over and it was time for Firecracker to do her thing, you happily skipped on your feet to your next destination... but you were soon stopped when you saw Homelander standing in your way. Though it didn't seem to affect at all.

"You should stop frowning if you don't want your face to look like a nut sack" You pat him on the shoulder before walking past him. With your back turned to him, he couldn't help but touch his forehead a bit... then hurrying to catch up to you.

"Where are you going now?"

"Somewhere full of fun that's for sure" You turn the corner and walked a few more before making to your favourite shop.

You stand in front of it while he stands beside you, his expression unreadable.

"A... pet shop?" He was confused but you didn't bother to answer his confusion and decided to just head on in.

He shakes his head out of frustration before entering the place. He's completely frozen in place when he sees you already surrounding yourself with dogs. You laugh almost maniacally as you enjoyed the way the dogs were licking you so joyfully. That was until you notice the way Homelander is staring at you, scorned by your behaviour.

"What? You upset not even dogs love you? God I'm pretty sure not even flies want to come near you" You joked but his attention on you is pulled away when a dog began gnawing at his glove.

He scowls as he decides to move his hand out of the way but the dog ends up jumping on him to try to chew on the glove as if thinking it's a chew toy.

"Nonono— shoo! Go!" He said while sound of your laughter can be heard in the background.

Oh boy...

[The Next Next Day]

How you scored yourself an invite to the Met Gala was unbelievable. But since you were going, Homelander was left with no choice but to accompany you. As you'd expected it, he showed up in his suit. He really doesn't care about this stupid gathering when he has better things to do.

Better things than supervising your ass.

"Make waaaay for your majesty!!" You said loud enough to make your grand entrance known. Cameras all panning towards you in order to take pictures of your outfit.

You were definitely still wearing your iconic red suit but you had worn a sarape over it. As well as a sombrero and the fake moustache to finish the look. And don't forget the guitar now!! Literally nobody knows why you always do shit like this. The theme is literally 'The Garden Of Time'.

"BOOO!!! FUCK YOU DEADPOOL!! YOU'RE A MENACE TO SOCIETY!!" A starlighter said amongst the rest of the protestors. They must have shown up when they heard news of you and Homelander's appearance. You laughed as you waved your hand dismissively at them.

"Oh, come on, don't be so grumpy. I didn't ask to be born this awesome" You said when walking past their group with Homelander following behind you, both hands placed behind his back like he's your bodyguard.

[The Next Next Next Day]

Of course you'd get yourself arrested for doing some crazy shit during the after party. You whine to yourself as you were chained up in the cell. After all you're no regular prisoner but a supe, so they had to treat you like a monster.

Suddenly two armed guards approached your cell, you stared at the cold faces on their faces before inspecting your restraints.

"You know, I always wanted to try bondage, but I didn't think it would be with such an unenthusiastic audience" You said and soon one of them opened the cell to release you from your imprisonment.

You let out a satisfied grunt as you rubbed both of your sore wrists. Just as the two guards left, Homelander came into view. With the annoyed look on his face, you had expected him to at least be happy to see you.

"Why the long face?" You asked when exiting your cell.

"You caused a raid at the after party. What word of do not cause trouble do you not understand?"

"Ahh you people confuse me. Oh Deadpool please rile up the Starlighters! No Deadpool don't punch the Starlighter for spilling your drink on you! Pick a side goddamn it!" You said changing your voice each time when imitating a person.

Homelander rolls his eyes at your attitude.

"I can't wait for this to be over with" Homelander murmured and began walking away. You didn't wait for a second to pass before chasing after him.

"Hey now! I'm literally your only friend left! Maeve got blown into Christmas dust, Noir became jello, The Deep... eh... he's still pretty balls deep inside an octopus, A-Train is busy being in his redemption arc. And Starlight? To be honest I never considered her apart of our friend group" You whispered the last part as though you were gossiping, which you were in the case.

"Lucky me" Homelander said in the most monotone voice it was hard not to miss the absent of emotions in his eyes.

"You're welcome bestie!! #2 bestie though because I've just became friends with Espresso lady last night" You said and quickly took your stuff back from the officer to show the picture of you and Sabrina Carpenter on your phone.

"Ugh..." Clearly not interested, Homelander left you behind but you could care less as you ended up bragging it to the poor police officer just trying to do his job.

[The Next Next Next Next Next Day]

Of course you're a supe so 99% of your job is to have fun while the 1% of your job is saving lives. You laughed as you fought with the group of thieves inside the crowded casino. A feet away stood, you guessed it, Homelander watching with his arms crossed. It looked more like he wanted this to be over with than be concerned for the safety of the civilians.

"Man this place looks great! How did I never knew of this part of the city?" You said looking around the interior design after effortlessly dodging the man's knife which you simply twisted in his hands to stab it right through his chest.

"Can you get away? I'm trying to win here" An old granny spoke when pushing the dead corspe off the gambling machine.

"Oooo... what's this?" Your eyes went wide in awe as you watched her repetitively tap on the button. Years of your life and you never thought of such a divine invention.

"FUCK YOU!!" A thief jumped off a table and onto your back, his knife in hand as he continously stabbed you on the chest.

"Why is it always the bad guys with the lousy gambling habits? Seriously, I could be playing poker right now, and instead, I'm stuck here whooping your asses" You whipped out your gun and shot the man in the face, his grip on you loosening as he falls to the ground.

Clearly knowing they have no chance in winning, they quickly ran but you simply shot each of them from the back until the very last one. With the dead bodies splattered across the casino floor, you spin your pistol around to blow the hot smoke from it.

"They don't call me Deadpool for nothing. Get it? Cause' Dead... pooool" You laughed when motioning at the pool of dead bodies on the ground that some of the bystanders watching and hiding were scared of what to do at the moment.

They also don't call you the insane member of The Seven for nothing.

[The Next Next Next Next Next Next Day]

You yawned with your back pressed on the sofa while Homelander was pretty much glaring daggers down at you. That's because you decided to make yourself feel homey in his room. With how good the leather felt— how could you not?

"Hey Ryan!" You waved at Ryan who awkwardly stops at the mention of his name.

"Hey..." He waves back at you with a nervous smile before hurrying up the stairs.

Even with Homelander pretty much wanting to kill you right now, you still had the mood to stretch all over his sofa. You grunt at the bliss of the feeling. The feeling of relaxation.

"Maaaan! I haven't gotten to rest for the past few days. Makes me wish I was born a rock"

"Why are you even in my room?" He asks, his voice so piercing.

"Eh... Ever head of a sleepover? Don't you wanna put on face masks together and do each other's nails? We ARE besties aren't we? #2 bestie though since Espresso lady—"

"Enough! GET OUT!!" Suddenly he lifts you up and threw you out the window. Ignoring the sounds of screaming and car alarm blaring, he sat down on the sofa with his eyes closed.

Finally... some peace...

[The Next Next Next Next Next Next Next Last Day]

With the responsibility of needing to follow you around to make sure you didn't intervene with Sister Sage's plan, he was starting to lose his sanity, or what's left of it. He sits in his chair with the rest of the members. Apparently you had called for a meeting and you had to specify that it was an important one. About what? Nobody knows.

"Where is Deadpool?" Firecracker asked since everyone had been waiting for almost an hour now. But just as she said that, you arrived, multiple puppies in your arms.

"Hellooooo! Thank you for waiting for me!! I had to drop by the pet shop to adopt these little devils" You said as you handed one to each of them.

"Ooh puppies!" Black Noir said happily when accepting one from you.

"Can you hurry up?" Sister Sage spoke up with the puppy in her hand playfully biting her fingers.

"Yeah yeah don't rush me, don't you know how to respect your elders?" You stood at the center in front of them. Before starting you made sure to clear your throat very thoroughly. All expected you to be serious about what you had to say but suddenly you balled your fists together with your effort of making puppy dog eyes.

"Pleasepleaseplease let me have my freedom back!! I swear I'll be good!!" You begged and Homelander practically stared at you while not giving much care of the puppy gnawing at his glove.

"You know you wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't been constantly breaking all the ties we have with other companies!! Do you know how helpful it could have been if you didn't pull that stunt at the met gala's after party?" Sister Sage said, expressing her frustration towards you but you waved her off dismissively.

"Okay but seriously guys, I appreciate the whole 'let's babysit Deadpool since they're a walking disaster' routine, but it's getting a bit old. I mean, come on, I've been doing the whole vigilante thing for a while now and nobody ever had a problem with it! I was even the host for MTV 2020!!"

"Which they banned you after because you exposed every celebrity there!"

"Not my fault that Ryan Reynolds had a thing for me"

You sighed.

"I'm starting to think you hate me Sage"

"Oh wow I wonder why"

"Nonono it's because I'm so smart that you can't even predict my next moves!!"

"Or maybe, you make the dumbest decisions that even I can't predict them!!"

"Oh please! I'm the Picasso of poor decisions! It's an art form! The only thing predictable is my ability to be unpredictably unpredictable"

Suddenly all attention turned to Homelander the second he let out an annoyed sound.

"... you know what? Fine. Go do your own thing. Bother someone else who gives a shit" He said waving you off and you jumped happily in the air. At the same time, Sister Sage looked at him in disbelief.

"You know they're gonna get in the way of our plans right?"

"Do you wanna babysit them?" He asks which made her stay quiet and simply lean back into her chair.

All of them watched as you happily skipped your way out of the meeting room. As expected, for the next few days you created more problems for everyone to deal with, first you created a line of Deadpool-themed lingerie which the manufacturing had to be shut down because the company you worked with were selling it using fake products, it was so bad that it had influencers calling you out for it.

Then there was the thing where you hired a bunch of hackers to loop baby shark on every TV in America. That nearly got you arrested but Vought being Vought, they managed to bail you out. If it didn't get worse, you also went ahead spraying neon red on the Statue of Liberty and for some reason replaced all billboards with ads featuring a fake upcoming movie called "Deadpool: The Musical".

During those same days, you were away most of the time so when you came back to Vought to find Homelander in his wrecked up room. You decided to sit down beside him on the floor. Everything was destroyed, even the TV screen was smashed but yet it was still playing. You could care less on why he did it. All you cared about was your hungry stomach right now.

"Chimichangas?" You said, offering him one. He looks at you with a blank expression... before taking one and eating it himself.

Eventually you two enjoyed the food peacefully while you leaned your head on his shoulder, a smile on your face and a scowl on his.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Keep hearing people say maribug keep asking adricat if he's ok and he keep saying he's ok instead of telling her his problem but I don't remember it happened more than once in s4 in Rockettear but even then the circumstances of that episode did warrant the "nothing" answer he gave her unless he want to tell her that "nino tell me you let nino and alya know each other identity" which will reveal adricat identity. So when else did she ask? about the thing in hack-san, I think another credit goes to alya since she's the one who bring the topic to maribug who seems to be blissfully unaware that her leaving without telling adeicat that she send subtitute would be a problem.

I didn't get into this side of things in my other post because it was long and I wanted to focus on why Chat Noir's behavior was so frustrating, but this ask brings up the other big reason why the season four conflict was such a frustrating and terribly written plot line. Specifically, the part of your ask where you point out that Maribug seems blissfully unaware that her actions are having a negative impact on Chat Noir until someone points it out to her.

Yes, she is presented as blissfully unaware of this and every other interpersonal conflict we're given in season four. Your ask treats this as a failing on Maribug's part as if she should have obviously realized that she was in the wrong, but that's the whole problem. Telling kids - telling anyone really - that they should just magically know what others need is a frankly terrible life lesson as that's just not how the world works. You cannot just assume that everyone will have the same view of the world as you do and instantly pick up on the same issues as you do. That is the path to easily avoidable frustration and conflict. It also teaches people to assume that their view of the world is inherently correct when that is rarely the case. We often don't know the whole story and the other person's point of view may end up being equally or even more valid. This issue is extremely present in season four as Marinette has legitimate reasons to behave the way she does, which I'll get into in a bit.

If Marinette were written as feeling guilty about how she was treating Chat Noir, then this would be a different story. She'd be way more in the wrong and would shoulder a much greater portion of the blame. But as is? She has no idea that she's doing anything wrong. And until someone takes the time to tell her that her actions are causing harm, she is going to continue causing harm because she has no idea that she's causing harm.

In fact, I'd argue that the Alya thing in Hack San is a point in Maribug's favor. Throughout the episode, we see Marinette sending Alya messages on ways to be a good partner to Chat Noir, proving that she does in fact care about him. And then, as soon as Alya says, "You need to talk to Chat Noir," what does Maribug do?

She goes and talks to Chat Noir, giving him a pretty good apology for the problem she now knows she caused. Because, shockingly, Maribug doesn't actually want to hurt her partner. She also clearly cares about his feelings, making me want to take the season four conflict and tear it into itty bitty pieces because what is the conflict even supposed to be when you write shit like this?

I want to briefly step away from Miraculous and talk about this issue in a broader context via this YouTube short:

This short is from a Vietnamese woman who moved to Germany. Her YouTube channel is about her experiences there, including things like the short above which goes into the differences between what it means to be a dinner guest in Vietnam and what it means to be a dinner guest in Germany. In Vietnam, it's apparently standard for the guests to cook dinner with you where as, in Germany, you're expected to have the meal ready when the guests arrive, making this a situation where it's super easy to come across as rude just by doing what you think is normal.

Society is relatively aware that these types of culture clashes are a thing, but you don't have to be from different cultures to have these types of situations. Every person has their own unique needs and ideas of what "normal" is. The culture they were raised in will affect this, but so will their family, their personal needs, and many other factors. Two people can be raised on the same street and wind up with wildly different world views even though they supposedly share a culture. This is extra true when you add in compounding factors like neurodiversity, which is why it's an exercise in futility to say, "But Maribug should have realized..."

Well, she clearly didn't. And you can't change that she didn't realize whatever you're mad about. All you can do is have someone tell her what she's doing wrong. If she then continues the behavior, go ahead and judge away. But if she immediately corrects it like she did in Hack San? Doesn't that just prove that she truly didn't know that Chat Noir was hurting and would have probably fixed all of his problems if someone just pointed them out to her?

This is only exacerbated by the fact that Marinette's behavior in season four is largely unchanged from her behavior in previous seasons. The only major change is that she revealed her identity to Alya, but as soon as that's pointed out as a problem, she course corrects with an apology. After that, she thinks that everything is okay because why wouldn't she? Chat Noir said it was fine and everything else has been business as usual.

Bringing temp heroes into help as needed? That's been going on since season two. Having these additional members has been vital in multiple battles and there have been plenty of times where Chat Noir took a background role to the temp hero of the day like in Sapotis, Rena Rouge's season two debut. So why would Maribug suddenly think that this dynamic is a problem when it's been working fine for so long? We even had a whole episode about how Chat Noir was still needed in spite of the new heroes back in season three! Or, at least, I think that was Desperada's message? This show is shockingly bad at giving clear lessons.

Keeping guardian knowledge from Chat Noir? That's also been going on since season two and was even treated as a conflict that supposedly got resolved in the episode Syren which was the episode that ended with Master Fu coming to the mansion to talk to Adrien after everything was over.

When I watched that episode, I assumed this meant that Chat Noir was going to be more involved in things like picking the temp heroes. I actually thought this was how we were going to get Queen Bee because I knew she was going to be a thing, but it made no sense for Marinette to pick Chloe for a miraculous. Of course, I was wrong. Nothing changed after Syren. Chat Noir remained nothing more than the comic relief while Ladybug got all the insider info.

To be clear, I think that was a terrible move writing wise, but it doesn't change the fact that this is what they went with. This is the established dynamic. I can't even say that Alya learning Marinette's secret led to something new. She's just taken Marinette's old role while Marinette has taken on Master Fu's old role. This show loves it's status quo and Chat Noir has been at least tolerant of that status quo since Syren, so it's not surprising that Maribug doesn't register that this is a thing that should change and no one bothers to point it out to her even though she has a mentor in Tikki (and Su Han, I guess?) and a confidant in Alya and a whole slew of Kwamis who could also provide insight if they were allowed to do that sort of thing. (Sass and Wayzz were robbed of mentor roles.) Additional blame goes to Plagg because he should absolutely have told Adrien to talk to Ladybug. What is the point of giving these characters mentors who never mentor? It's aggravating in the extreme.

To circle back to the first part of your ask, outside of Hack San and Rocketear, I don't think there are any times when Ladybug invites feedback from Chat Noir unless you want to give credit to the end of Kuro Neko:

Cat Noir: (lands next to her) I've been a really temperamental kitty, m'lady. I didn't realize how much trouble I'd make for you by giving back my Miraculous. Ladybug: (sits closer to him) Just because I don't need you all the time doesn't mean that I don't need you at all, Cat Noir. No one could ever replace you.

Which isn't Maribug inviting him to tell her what's up, but she is clearly willing to listen to him and reassure him, further backing up my point about this conflict being some of the worst writing I've ever had to suffer through. If Maribug always fixes the issue as soon as she learns about it, you are not writing a situation where she's clearly in the wrong. You are writing an easily solved communication issue where she gets blamed for something she clearly doesn't realize she's doing wrong and it is so frustrating!!! I feel so bad for her. The next episode is Penalteam, btw, which starts the battle with this gem:

Ladybug: (laughs) Nice scare tactics, but it's not gonna work. Cat Noir and I are the best at soccer! Cat Noir: (Whispers to Ladybug) I don't know a thing about soccer M'lady. Maybe it's time to call the real team?

And basically just spends the whole episode making Chat Noir seems like a worthless partner while Maribug tries her best to make him - and everyone else - feel special.

Oh, and the episode before Kuro Neko? Well, it's technically Ephemeral, but that got magically overwritten so let's go one further back and we get to Dearest Family, which ends with this:

Cat Noir: (grabs a golden paper crown on the coffee table) Since I'm the king, (wears the crown on his head) would you be my queen, Ladybug? Ladybug: With pleasure, kitty cat! Tradition is tradition!

Oh yes, these two are in such conflict and Maribug does nothing to validate Chat Noir. He's in pain every episode and she's just totally oblivious to it.

If that was what they wrote, then I'd probably agree that we needed more instances of her asking if Chat Noir was okay. But it's not what they wrote. If you look through the list of season four episodes, you'll find that less than half of them deal with the supposed conflict of the season (by my count, only 8 of the 24 episodes before the final actually showcase the conflict and they are not in a logical order in terms of escalation as I tried to demonstrate above). The rest of the episodes flat out ignore it or even straight up work against the conflict like when Ladybug says this to Chat Noir in Guilttrip: "I probably don't tell you this enough, but I couldn't do this without you. And it'd be a lot less fun too."

Seriously, what even is this season? What is the conflict supposed to be? Because it sure as shit isn't Maribug undervaluing Chat Noir, if memory servers, season four sees her validate him more times than any other season. And it isn't her guiltily hiding things from him like so many fanfics claim because we have multiple points of evidence that prove that she's completely oblivious that there even is a conflict. So what conflict are the writers actually trying to write?

What's even more baffling is that none of this logically leads to the loss at the end of the season:

Maribug's new secrets didn't lead to her downfall. The only reason she lost was because of the secret that's always been there - a fact that's never revealed to her - and a freaking evil twin! So why did it matter that Maribug was keeping secrets? This is made even worse by season five maintaining all of the secrets, once again begging the question of what lesson were we trying to teach here???

Chat Noir wasn't needed for the final fight of the season, Maribug only needed the powers of a few of the temp heroes to win, a baffling ending to a season whose focus was Chat Noir feeling unimportant. You could scrap that conflict entirely and the ending would not change. In fact....

Adrien quitting to be nothing more than a good little boy who obeys his father would have actually saved the world from eventually being rewritten. If you think about it, the season four final actually punishes Adrien for being defiant. So does season five as, if Chat Noir had quit, his father would still be alive. I thought this show was supposed to be a romcom, not a tragedy. Why is Adrien being punished for being a hero? Is this supposed to be karma for lying to Ladybug with the whole Catwalker thing?

This shit is why I say I'm a writing salt, character sugar blog. I can't get mad at the characters when they're in such a nonsense story where things never logically tie together. They all deserve so much better.

None of this is meant to imply that ignorance is a blanket excuse for hurting others. Nor is it meant to imply that you have to forgive someone who hurt you just because they didn't mean to. There's a ton of nuance around these topics. But season four acknowledges none of that nuance while creating a situation that desperately needed nuance because there was no clear right and wrong here. Should Maribug work to be more aware of others feelings? Sure, but that journey can only start after she's made aware of her faults and no one ever points them out to her. Does Chat Noir need to work on clearly communicating his needs? Desperately, but no one is teaching him that lesson so he remains a terrible communicator who suffers in silence. What impressively bad writing.

[doberbutts]

you don't actually get to cry "ally yourself with trans women" while actively talking over trans women whose traumatic experiences with transmisogyny are wildly ignored in favor of how hard transmisogyny is on the cis women. like why don't trans women get to say privilege plays into how much transmisogyny affects people?

do we not characterize white privilege as being what protects white americans from the systematic racism that permeates the US?

again, what is the preferred way you would have us refer to that privilege? because I am right here telling you that privilege is a part of the construct of tme/tma but you don't really care that trans women are more affected.

like it's crazy that you seem to think my problem is with the transvestigation playing out against a cis woman and not the way everyone pays attention when it happens to cis women but ignores the rampant transmisogyny when it happens to a trans woman. like you don't even pause to look at why there were no trans women at the olympics to transvestigate in the first place so they turned to the next marginalized option, intersex and women of color, when discussing how trans women deserve better.

Hi I'm the trans woman I deserve better from you specifically

To be completely honest this is looking less and less like a good faith discussion and more and more like you simply accusing me of stuff I didn't say.

You say I am actively talking over trans women. How so? How is "we need to address transmisogyny at its root if we want things to be better" ignoring the plight of trans women?

How is it that I have *repeatedly* acknowledged that there is privilege there, and yet apparently I am ignoring it?

if you want to use the race example: white privilege exists. Racism also affects white people. If white people want to stop being affected by racism (welfare regulations, the war on drugs, low income housing, social programs for community aid, to name a few) then maybe they should ally themselves with people of color because the root of what's causing issues with these things is racism. That doesn't mean white privilege doesn't exist just because a system of oppression affects everyone under said system. It doesn't even mean that the primary target has changed. It's just what makes this a system rather than an individual occurrence.

Never once have I said that cis women are more affected and, in fact, in followup posts I have stated that it *is* quite annoying that people have only been talking about this because this year's Olympics included approximately 0 out trans women. I have been saying that this was the clear end result, once they were rid of the trans women they'd go for whatever cis women they could feasibly get away with, and this time it seems they overplayed their hand.

Castor Semenya is a cis woman who only found out that she is intersex due to being transvestigated. She is, by definition, TME. Except she's not, is she, considering the same rules that apply to trans women apply to her. That's why I brought her up! And- correct me if I'm wrong- but out trans women still competed after she was forced to leave the Olympic running. That is why I'm saying that things maybe are not quite so clear cut as "have" and "have not", because I can point to an example of someone that the definition labels as "has privilege" that according to Olympic ruling bodies no longer counts as a woman either despite being afab TME cis.

If you want to continue to put words in my mouth, then we're out of things to say to each other, and it becomes clear that this was never intended to be a good faith discussion in the first place.

[natsaffection]

Wait and Hope. Pt 2 | N.R

Warnings: gun shots, blood, gore 'traumatized' children, just angst

Word Count: 9,8k

A/n: Okay, it's a lot..The Request you can find here.

The first few weeks after Lila, Jacob, and Mia moved in were an emotional whirlwind. Mia adapted quickly, her boundless energy and cheerful nature filling the house with light. She often clung to you and Natasha, seeking your warmth and affection, while Jacob remained quieter, but slowly began to open up. But Lila..Lila was different. You and Natasha had expected some challenges. Lila was, after all, fifteen and had been through more than any teenager should. But as the days turned into weeks, it became clear that Lila's walls were still firmly in place, and she wasn't ready to tear them down anytime soon.

Natasha, who had taken on the role of disciplinarian, had set clear boundaries from the start. She was strict but fair, and the kids quickly learned that pushing those boundaries or talking back wouldn't get them very far. Lila start to respect Natasha, yet there was still a certain distance, an unspoken agreement that Natasha wouldn't push too hard as long as Lila didn't push back. But you..you were also different. You were the heart of the family, always warm, always understanding, always trying to reach Lila with kindness and patience. And that's where the problems began. Lila wasn't ready for that kind of affection, not from someone she still saw as a stranger, and her rejection often manifested in anger. It had been a long day, filled with the usual ups and downs of settling into a new routine.

Natasha had just returned from work and found you in the kitchen, preparing dinner. The tension in the air was palpable, and Natasha could sense that something was wrong. "What happened?" Natasha asked gently, stepping beside you and placing a hand on your back. You sighed, your shoulders sagging slightly. "Lila and I had another argument.." you admitted, your voice tinged with frustration and sadness. "She shut me out again, and when I tried to talk to her about it, she just..exploded." Natasha frowned, her protective instincts kicking in. "What did she say?"

You hesitated, clearly reluctant to relive the exchange. "She told me to stop pretending I care, that I'm not her real mother, and that I don't understand anything she's been through." you said quietly, your voice cracking slightly. Natasha's heart ached for you, knowing how hard you had been trying to connect with Lila. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace. "I'm sorry, Detka.." Natasha murmured, her voice filled with empathy. "Lila's hurting, and she's taking it out on you because she doesn't know how else to cope."

"I know." you whispered as you leaned into Natasha's embrace. "But it's so hard, Nat. I just want her to see that we love her and that we're here for her. But no matter what I do, it feels like I can't get through to her." Natasha tightened her embrace, her heart breaking for the woman she loved. "You're doing everything right." she said gently. "It's just going to take time. Lila's been through a lot, and she's scared. She's not used to people being kind to her without expecting something in return."

You nodded as you tried to hold back your tears. "I'm so proud that the kids are bonding with you, especially since you were the one who was most worried about it. But..I can't help feeling like I'm failing somehow." Natasha pulled back slightly, cupping your face in her hands and looking into your eyes with unwavering love. "You're not failing." she said firmly. "You're the heart of this family, Y/n. The kids are struggling right now, but they will open up. And when they do, it will be because you never stopped believing in them."

You sniffled, a small, sad smile tugging at your lips. "I hope so." you whispered. "I really hope so." At that moment, you both heard a door slam upstairs, followed by the sound of quick, stomping footsteps in the hallway. Natasha sighed, knowing that Lila was in one of her moods again. She pressed a quick kiss to your forehead. "I'll go talk to her." Natasha said gently. "You can finish up here, okay?" You nodded, grateful for Natasha's support. "Thank you." you whispered. Natasha gave you a reassuring smile before heading upstairs. She found Lila in her room, sitting on her bed with her arms crossed, her expression set in a defiant scowl. “Hey..” Natasha said, her voice calm but firm. “We need to talk.” Lila looked up, her eyes flashing with anger. “What?” she snapped. “What now?”

Natasha wasn’t fazed by Lila’s hostility. “You need to stop taking your anger out on Y/n.” she said, her tone measured. “I know you’re going through a lot, and I know you’re hurting, but she is trying to help you. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.” Lila’s expression faltered for a moment, a fleeting look of guilt crossing her face before it hardened again. “I didn’t ask for her help.” Lila muttered, her voice full of bitterness. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“I know.” Natasha responded, her voice softening. “But this is your reality now. We are your family, and we’re here for you, whether you like it or not. Y/n cares about you, and she’s trying so hard to make this work. You need to meet her halfway.” Lila looked away, her jaw clenched tightly. “I don’t need a new family.” she mumbled, her voice barely audible.

Natasha sighed, feeling the weight of Lila’s pain. “Maybe not.” she said quietly. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you have one now. And part of that family is Y/n. She’s not trying to replace anyone in your life, she just wants to be there for you.” Lila didn’t respond, but Natasha could see the inner conflict in her eyes. She was struggling, torn between her fear of being hurt again and her deep, unspoken desire for closeness.

“I’m not asking you to change overnight.” Natasha continued, her voice gentle. “But I’m asking you to try. Give her a chance. She’s not going away, and neither am I.” Lila’s shoulders slumped slightly, the fight gradually leaving her. She said nothing, but Natasha knew the message had been received. It would take time, but Natasha was willing to wait, to keep pushing until Lila was ready to let them in.

“Okay.” Natasha said softly as she slowly moved toward the door. “Take some time to cool off. We’ll talk later.” She left Lila’s room, her heart heavy from the weight of the conversation. She knew this wasn’t the end of the struggle, but she hoped it was a step in the right direction.

When Natasha returned to the kitchen, you were setting the table for dinner, your expression a mixture of sadness and determination. Natasha walked up to you, wrapped her arms around your waist, and rested her chin on your shoulder. “How did it go?” you asked quietly as you leaned into Natasha’s embrace. “It went as well as it could.” Natasha replied, her voice filled with quiet confidence. “She’s still hurting, but I think she’s starting to understand that we’re not going to give up.”

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment. “I just wish I knew how to help her.” you murmured. “You’re already helping her.” Natasha said gently. “Just by being here, by being patient, by showing her love even when she pushes you away. It’s not easy, but you’re doing exactly what she needs.”

You nodded, your heart still heavy, but you felt a renewed sense of determination rising within you. “I’m not going to give up..” you whispered. “I won’t give up on any of them.” Natasha smiled, kissed your cheek. “And neither will I.” she said softly. “We’re in this together, Y/n. We’ll make it through, one day at a time.”

Months passed and Mia had quickly settled in, her cheerful nature and boundless energy bringing a light into the house that you and Natasha greatly appreciated. Jacob, though quieter, had also begun to open up and was gradually finding his place in the family. Since you allowed him to buy his own things, you both stumbled over piles of books every day,. But Lila? She was still struggling. The walls she had built around herself remained firmly in place, and despite all of your and Natasha’s efforts, she seemed determined to keep you both at a distance. It was a constant source of tension in the house, especially between Lila and you, as you bore the brunt of Lila’s anger and frustration.

One evening, Natasha was in the kitchen preparing dinner, while you were just on your way to join her. Mia was sitting at the table, doodling on a piece of paper, and Jacob was nearby, quietly reading a book. The atmosphere was calm, a peaceful routine that you had worked hard to establish. As Natasha stirred a pot on the stove, she heard Mia’s small, sweet voice call out, “Mommy, can you help me with this?”

Natasha’s heart skipped a beat, her hand pausing mid-motion. She turned to see Mia holding up her pencil with a confused expression, waiting for Natasha to come over. It took Natasha a moment to process what she had just heard. Mommy..Mia had called her mommy! The word hit Natasha like a wave, the weight of it filling her chest with a mix of emotions she wasn’t prepared for. She had been so focused on making sure the kids felt safe and loved that she hadn’t expected this moment hadn’t expected one of the children to call her by that name.

“Mommy?” Mia repeated, looking up at Natasha with wide, innocent eyes. Natasha blinked, quickly collecting herself and forcing a smile. “Of course, sweetheart..” she said, trying to keep her voice steady as she walked over to the table. She crouched down next to Mia and helped her with the drawing, but her mind was spinning, her heart filled with a mixture of joy and vulnerability.

You noticed the change in Natasha’s demeanor, how her eyes were a little brighter than usual, and you knew what had happened. You reached out, placing a comforting hand on Natasha’s arm and giving her an encouraging smile. Both of you had been waiting for this moment, and now that it had come, it was as overwhelming as it was beautiful. But the quiet joy of the moment didn’t last long. As Natasha returned to the stove, she heard the front door slam shut. Her heart sank, knowing that could only mean one thing. Lila was home.

You sighed, your expression growing more serious as you stood up. “Let me handle this.” you said quietly, knowing it would likely lead to another confrontation. Natasha looked at you sympathetically. “Do you want me to come with you?” she offered, knowing how difficult these moments were for you.

But you shook your head, determination in your eyes. “No, I need to do this.” you said gently. “She needs to know that I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much she tries to push me away.” Natasha nodded, watching you with a mix of admiration and concern as you left the kitchen and headed upstairs. She could hear the music blasting from Lila’s room, a clear sign that she was trying to shut out the world.

You knocked on Lila’s door and waited for a response that didn’t come. You took a deep breath, opened the door, and stepped inside. Lila was sitting on her bed, earbuds in, her face set in a grim expression as she stared at her phone. She didn’t even look up as you entered. “Lila.” you began, your voice calm but firm. Lila didn’t react, her fingers angrily tapping on her phone as if to drown out your voice. You moved closer and gently placed a hand on Lila’s shoulder to get her attention.

“Lila, please.” you said, your voice softening. “Can we just talk?” In that moment, Lila exploded. She ripped the earbuds out of her ears and turned to you, her eyes blazing with anger. “leave me alone!” she snapped. “Stop pretending you care because we both know it’s not true!” You recoiled slightly, the words hitting you like a physical blow. But you didn’t back down. You had heard this before, you had felt the sting of Lila’s rejection countless times. But you weren’t going to give up, not now, not ever.

“That’s not true.” you said, your voice trembling but determined. “I care about you. We both do. And I’m not pretending. I want you to feel safe here, to know that this is your home.” Lila scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive posture. “Home? This isn’t my h-home. It’s just another place I’m stuck until you decide you don’t want me anymore..!” Your heart broke at Lila’s words, at the deep-seated pain and mistrust they revealed. You knew Lila had been through so much, that she had every reason to doubt the stability of her situation. But that didn’t make the words any less painful.

“That’s not going to happen.” you said, your voice filled with quiet resolve. “We’re not going to give up on you. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how much you try to push us away, we’re here. And we’re staying.” Lila’s eyes flashed with anger, her voice rising in frustration. “Why? Why do you even care? I’m just a burden to you, right? You’ve already got Jacob and Mia, so why do you even need me?” Lila finished, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions.

Your eyes filled with tears, but you fought to keep them from falling, refusing to show Lila just how much her words hurt. “Because you’re part of our family!” you said, your voice trembling with emotion. “You, Jacob, and Mia, you’re all part of our family, and that means we love you, no matter what.” For a moment, Lila seemed to waver, her anger flickering as she looked into your eyes. But the years of pain and disappointment were too deep, too ingrained. She shook her head, her expression hardening again. “I don’t need your love..” she muttered, turning away from you. “Just leave me alone..please..”

You stood there for a long moment, your heart heavy with the weight of the conversation. You wanted so badly to reach Lila, to break through the walls she had built around herself. But you knew that it wouldn’t happen overnight. It would take time..time, patience, and a love that wouldn’t give up, no matter how much she resisted. Finally, you sighed and took a step back. “Alright.” you said quietly. “I’ll give you some space. But I want you to know that I’m here, whenever you’re ready.”

You turned and left the room, closing the door behind you with a soft click. As you made your way back downstairs, you felt the tears you had been holding back begin to fall. You quickly wiped them away, not wanting to break down in front of the children. When you returned to the kitchen, Natasha was waiting for you, her expression full of concern.

Without a word, she pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as the emotions of the day finally overwhelmed you. “You’re exactly what she needs, you know? She just doesn’t realize it yet. But she will, Y/n. I promise you, she will.” You clung to Natasha, finding strength in the quiet presence of your partner. Despite the challenges, despite the heartache, it was undeniably comforting to know that you weren’t facing this alone. You had each other, and that was enough to keep you going.

As the evening progressed, you both tried to push the tension aside and focus on the positive moments. Dinner passed quietly as Mia and Jacob chatted softly about their day at school. Mia, as always, was full of energy, telling stories about her friends and her new favorite game, while Jacob listened more than he spoke, but with a calmness that reassured you and Natasha that he was finding his way.

Lila, however, remained in her room, the door closed, shutting herself off from the world. Your heart ached every time you glanced down the hallway, wishing you could somehow reach through that door and pull Lila into the warmth of the family. But you knew it wasn’t that simple. Lila needed time, and more importantly, she needed to feel that she could come to you on her own terms.

After dinner, you and Natasha took the younger kids to bed. Mia was eager for her bedtime story, snuggling up to you with her favorite stuffed bear. As you read, her eyes slowly drifted shut, the words of the story lulling her into a peaceful sleep. Natasha tucked Jacob into bed, sitting with him for a few minutes as he quietly told her about a book he was reading. She listened attentively, offering encouragement and gentle advice, her heart swelling with pride as he began to open up more, sharing his thoughts and feelings in small but meaningful ways.

When the children were finally asleep, you and Natasha found yourselves alone in the living room, the house quiet except for the occasional creak of the floorboards or the distant hum of the refrigerator. You sat together on the couch, the weight of the day heavy on your shoulders. Natasha wrapped an arm around you, holding you close. “You’re helping them more than you realize.” she murmured. “Just by being here, by being patient. They been through so much, and they had to protect themselves for so long. And Lila maybe doesn’t know how to let people in, but she will. She’s starting to see that we’re not going anywhere.”

You nodded, though the doubt still lingered in your heart. “I just wish I could do more.” you said quietly. “You’re doing everything you can.” Natasha reassured you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “And that’s enough. We’ll keep being there for her, for all of them. And one day, Lila will realize that she’s not alone anymore.” You closed your eyes and let yourself relax in Natasha’s embrace. “Thank you.” you whispered, your voice full of gratitude. “For being so strong, for holding us all together.”

Natasha smiled, her heart swelling with love for you. “We hold each other together.” she said gently. “We’re a team, Y/n. And nothing will change that.” As you sat there, wrapped up in each other, the weight of the day began to lift. The challenges you were facing were real, and there would be more difficult days ahead, but there was also hope..hope that your love and determination would be enough to carry you through.

5 months had passed since the Kids had come into your lives, and while some things had improved, others remained heartbreakingly stagnant. Jacob and Lila had gradually opened up to Natasha, and over time, both had begun to call her “Mom.” She had never imagined herself in this role, but now that she heard those words, everything felt so much more real. But you still found yourself on the outside. Mia had also completely bonded with you, with the same boundless affection she always showed. But Jacob and Lila had yet to overcome that final hurdle. They hadn’t opened up to you in the same way they had with Natasha, and every time they called her “Mom” without including you, it chipped away at your heart a little more.

You tried not to let it show, tried to stay strong and hopeful. You knew that these things took time, and you didn’t want to rush them. But as the days turned into weeks, the constant reminder of your position on the sidelines began to wear you down. In this fragile time, you received an unexpected call from Nick. You and Natasha had all but retired from active duty, focusing on raising your new family. You had only agreed to take on missions when absolutely necessary, when no one else could do the job. But this mission was one of those cases. Fury’s voice was firm, almost apologetic, as he explained the situation.

“I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.” Fury said over the secure line. “But this mission requires your particular set of skills. We need both of you.” You and Natasha exchanged a look, both feeling the weight of the request. You had built a new life, a stable life for your children, and the thought of leaving them, even temporarily, felt like tearing apart the foundation you had worked so hard to build.

“We have a family now, Nick.” Natasha said, her voice strained with frustration. “You know that. We can’t just drop everything and go on a mission.”

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t critical, Natasha.” Fury responded, his tone serious. “I know this is hard, but you’re the best we have for this job. If there were another way, I’d take it.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, the pressure of the situation bearing down on you. You had always known that this was a possibility, that your previous lives as Avengers could come back at any time. But now, with your family still so fragile, it felt like the worst possible timing. “How long?” you asked, your voice tense with emotion.

“Two days.” Fury replied. “We’ll have everything you need at the Compound. The kids will be safe and well taken care of.”

After a tense moment of silence, Natasha finally spoke. "We need to talk to the kids about this." she said, her voice resigned. "But we’ll do it." You looked at Natasha, the silent communication between you carrying the weight of your decision. You didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to leave your children, especially not when things were still so uncertain. But you also understood your responsibility, the trust Fury had placed in you, and the greater good you had always fought for.

That evening, the family gathered around the dinner table, the usual chatter quieter than normal. The weight of the day hung in the air, and even Mia seemed to sense that something was different. You cleared your throat and exchanged a glance with Natasha before speaking. "Kids, we need to talk to you about something important."

Mia’s eyes lit up with curiosity, while Jacob and Lila looked up from their plates, their expressions more guarded. "We got a call today from work." Natasha continued, her voice calm but tinged with a slight hesitancy. "There are some things we need to take care of." Mia’s excitement was immediate. "Are we coming too?" she asked, her voice filled with childlike wonder.

Natasha smiled gently and shook her head. "Not quite. You will come to work with us, yes. But we have to do the rest ourselves. You’ll stay there while we’re away, and we’ll be back as soon as we can." Jacob’s face brightened at the mention of the Avengers Compound. "Will we see the Avengers? The compound?!"

Natasha nodded, her heart aching at the thought of leaving them behind. "Yes," she said. "and we’ll make sure you’re safe and well taken care of while we’re gone." But Lila’s reaction was immediate and hostile. Her fork clattered against the plate as she dropped it, and her expression hardened. "So you’re just going to leave us there?" she snapped, her voice filled with anger and fear. "What if you don’t come back? What if this is just another way to get rid of us?"

Your heart sank at Lila’s words, the familiar sting of her mistrust cutting deep. "Lila, that’s not true." you said gently, trying to keep your voice steady. "This is just for the mission. We will come back, I promise you." But Lila wasn’t having it. She pushed her chair back and stood up, her eyes blazing with a mix of anger and betrayal. "That’s what you say now, but how do I know it’s true? You’re just like everyone else! Making promises you can’t keep."

Natasha reached out to Lila, her voice firm but gentle. "Lila, listen to me. We’re not like the people you’ve known before. We’re not going to leave you. This mission is something we have to do, but it’s just for two days. We will come back." Lila’s gaze fixed on Natasha, and for a moment, there was a flicker of vulnerability in her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. When she finally did, her voice was quiet, almost trembling. "Mum, I don’t want you to go.."

The word hit Natasha like a blow to the chest. Lila had called her that a few times before, but the way she said it now, with such raw emotion, nearly broke her heart. Natasha wanted to hold her, to promise her that everything would be okay, but she knew it wasn’t that simple. You, standing beside Natasha, felt a sharp pang of pain. Lila had called Natasha "Mum" with such sincerity, and yet there was still a distance between her and you, a barrier that hadn’t been broken.

"We’ll come back, Lila." Natasha repeated, her voice firm but filled with emotion. "I promise you, we will come back." But Lila’s anger flared up again, defensive and protective of the wounds she still carried. "Promises mean nothing!" she snapped. "You’ll leave, and then you’ll realize you don’t want us anymore, and we’ll be right back where we started!"

Jacob and Mia watched in stunned silence, the tension at the table palpable. You felt the weight of the moment pressing down on you, the overwhelming feeling that no matter what you said, it wouldn’t be enough to ease Lila’s fears. She turned and stormed out of the room, the door slamming behind her and leaving a heavy silence in her wake. You stood there, your heart breaking as you stared at the closed door. You felt Natasha’s hand on your shoulder, a silent reassurance, but it did little to ease the pain in your chest.

Mia, ever the optimist, broke the silence with her soft, hopeful voice. "You’ll come back, won’t you?" she asked, her eyes wide and innocent. You forced a smile and knelt down to hug Mia tightly. "Yes, sweetheart." you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "We’ll come back. I promise." Jacob, still sitting, looked at Natasha with a mixture of trust and uncertainty. "And you’ll be okay, right?" Natasha nodded and gently ran her fingers through his hair. "We’ll be okay." she said softly. "And we’ll come back to you. To all of you."

As the evening wore on, the atmosphere remained tense, the shadow of the upcoming mission hanging over you all. Natasha and you tried to maintain a semblance of normalcy, but the weight of the situation was impossible to ignore. Later that night, as you got ready for bed, you could no longer hold back your tears. You sat on the edge of the bed, your shoulders shaking as the emotions of the day finally overwhelmed you.

Natasha sat beside you, wrapping her arms around you, holding you close as the tears began to flow. You leaned into Natasha, your head resting on her shoulder as you let out all the pain and frustration you had been holding inside. "I don’t know what to do.." you whispered, your voice trembling. "This mission..I’m so scared that we’ll lose everything we’ve worked so hard for." Natasha tightened her embrace, her heart aching for you. She knew how much you had invested in this family, how desperately you had tried to connect with everyone, to be the mother they needed. But she also knew that some wounds took time to heal, and especially Lila’s wounds were deep.

"We’re not going to lose this." Natasha said firmly, her voice full of determination. "We’ve worked too hard, and we’re not going to let this mission take that away from us." You sniffled and wiped your eyes, trying to steady yourself. "I just wish I knew how to get through to them." you whispered. "Lila’s starting to trust you, and that’s wonderful, but I feel like.." You took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions inside you. "I want to believe in us." you said quietly. "But its so hard..."

Natasha kissed your forehead, her touch tender and soothing. "You don’t have to go through this alone." she whispered. "We’re a team, remember? We’ll get through this together." You nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope in your chest. "I know." you whispered. "And I’m so grateful for you, Nat. I don’t know how I’d get through this without you."

Natasha smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "You’d make it because you’re strong, stronger than you think. And we’ll make it through this, all of us, together." You sat there in silence for a while, holding each other close, finding comfort in the quiet strength of your bond. The challenges you were facing felt overwhelming, but there was a deep, unshakable love between you that kept you going.

After a while, Natasha spoke again, her voice gentle but resolute. "We need to talk to Fury before we leave." she said. "Make sure everything is set up for the kids while we’re gone. And we need to make it clear to him that this is the last time for a long time. Our family needs us here." You nodded, your resolve returning. "You’re right." you agreed. "This is the last time. We need to be here for the kids, especially now. They need to know they can rely on us."

"And they will." Natasha said, her voice firm. "We’ll do this mission, but after that, we’re done. Our family comes first." With that decision, you both felt a sense of calm settle over you. The upcoming mission still weighed heavily on you, but you now knew where your priorities lay, and you were ready to fight for what mattered most.

The next morning, you both rose early to make the final preparations. You called Fury and made it clear that this would be your last mission for the foreseeable future. Fury understood, and though his tone was brisk and professional, there was a note of respect in his voice. “We’ve got everything set up for you at the Compound.” Fury said. “And I’ll make sure the kids are well taken care of while you’re on the mission. Maria has come forward to take care of them."

With heavy hearts, you and Natasha packed your bags, the reality of leaving your children, even temporarily, weighing heavily on you. But you proceeded with a clear goal in mind, the knowledge that this step was necessary to ensure the safety and protection of the world, a world you wanted to safeguard for your children. Before you left, you gathered the children in the living room. Lila sat on the edge of the sofa, her expression wary, while Jacob and Mia sat close to their parents, their faces a mix of excitement and nervousness. Maria already waiting for them.

Natasha knelt in front of them, her voice calm and steady. “We’re leaving now.” she said, her heart aching as she looked into their eyes. “But we’ll be back soon. While we’re gone, you’ll be safe at the Compound, and you’ll have everything you need.” You reached out and gently touched Lila’s arm, your voice soft. “Lila, I know this is hard, but we will come back. We promised you, and we’re going to keep that promise.”

Lila didn’t respond immediately, her eyes focused on the floor. But when she finally looked up, there was a faint glimmer of something in her expression, something you couldn’t quite decipher. “Be careful, please.." Lila murmured, her voice barely audible.

Natasha smiled, her heart swelling with emotion. “We will.” she promised. Mia, always a bright light, hugged both Natasha and you tightly. “Don’t forget us!” she whispered earnestly. “Never.” you whispered back, your voice full of love. Jacob, who had been quiet until then, finally spoke up. “I’ll take care of them, mum.” he said seriously, his small face determined. “I’ll make sure they’re okay.” Natasha felt her heart swell with pride as she ran a hand through Jacob’s hair. “I know you will, buddy.” she said softly. “You’re so brave.”

After a final round of hugs, Natasha and you stood up, ready to go. You looked at your children, your family knowing that you were leaving behind what was most important to you. But you also knew that you would return. As you walked out the door, you glanced back one last time, your heart heavy but resolute. Lila stood in the doorway, her arms crossed, watching you with an unreadable expression. You wanted to run back, to tell her again how much you loved her, how much you would miss her, but you knew this was a moment Lila needed to process on her own.

Natasha and you got into the car, your hands finding each other as you drove away from the house. The upcoming mission was crucial, but equally important was the promise you had made to yourselves, to each other, and to your children. You would come back. And when you did, you would continue to fight for your family, no matter how difficult it became.

The mission briefing was straightforward but dangerous. A covert Hydra base had been discovered in the heart of the city, suspected of holding critical information about upcoming terrorist attacks. Natasha and you were assigned to infiltrate the base while Steve and Bruce took care of the outside world. On paper, it was simple, but both of you knew how quickly things could go wrong.

Natasha glanced over at you, her concern evident in the furrow of her brow. "We can do this. One last time." You met her gaze and forced yourself to smile confidently. "I’ve got your back, Nat. Always." Natasha shook her head, though the worry didn’t leave her eyes. "Just stay close. We go in, we go out. No unnecessary risks." You knew what she was really saying: Don’t be a hero. But that was easier said than done when it came to Natasha. You’d do anything to protect her, even if it meant putting yourself in danger.

The Quinjet landed on a rooftop a few blocks from the Hydra base. The city was always quiet, the only sounds were the distant hum of traffic and occasional gusts of wind. Natasha led the way, moving with the silent grace of a predator, and you followed closely behind her. You descended a fire escape and disappeared into the shadows as you approached the building. The Hydra base was hidden beneath an abandoned warehouse, a perfect cover in a city full of forgotten buildings. Natasha scanned the area, her sharp eyes catching the faint glow of surveillance cameras hidden in the corners. She signaled to you, and you nodded in understanding. You had to be quick and silent, any alarm would mean a swarm of armed Hydra agents descending upon you.

With her Widow’s Bite, Natasha disabled the cameras one by one, clearing a path to the entrance. Your heart pounded in your chest as you approached, the weight of the mission heavy on you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, that you were walking into a trap. But you pushed the thought aside and focused on the task at hand. You reached the entrance, a steel door with a biometric lock. Natasha pulled a small device from her belt, attached it to the lock, and watched as it began bypassing the security system. The seconds dragged on, each one filled with the suffocating silence of anticipation. Finally, the device beeped, and the door slid open with a soft hiss.

You slipped inside, the darkness of the corridor swallowing you whole. Natasha led the way, her senses on high alert as you navigated the labyrinthine interior of the base. The air was thick with tension, every step bringing you closer to the heart of the Hydra operation. You reached a large, dimly lit room filled with computer terminals and stacks of documents. Natasha’s eyes locked onto the central console, where a data drive was inserted. "This is it." she whispered.

Your grip on your weapon as you positioned yourself by the door. Natasha moved quickly, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she initiated the data transfer. The seconds ticked by, each one a small victory as the progress bar crept closer to completion. But just as the transfer was nearly finished, your worst fear came true. The door to the room burst open, and a group of Hydra agents stormed in with weapons raised. You reacted instinctively, firing a shot that took down the lead agent before he could pull the trigger. Chaos erupted in the room, bullets flying as the two of you fought for your lives.

"Nat, we have to fall back!" you shouted over the noise, your voice laced with desperation. But Natasha was focused, too focused, her eyes locked on the last remaining agent standing between you and the exit. She went in for the kill, but in that split second, everything went wrong. The agent, a hulking figure with a cruel grin, raised his weapon and aimed directly at Natasha. Time seemed to slow as you recognized the danger. Without thinking, you threw yourself in front of her, your body acting on pure instinct. The gun fired, the noise deafening in the enclosed space.

The sharp crack of gunfire echoed in Natasha’s ears, a sound she had heard countless times before, but never with such devastating clarity. It was as if the world had frozen, everything narrowing down to that one terrible moment as you threw yourself in front of the bullets meant for Natasha. The world around her dissolved into chaos. She barely registered what she was doing as she took down the last enemies, her body moving on autopilot, but her mind was solely focused on the woman lying in a growing pool of blood.

"Y/n!!" Natasha’s voice was a rough, tortured cry that echoed off the cold metal walls of the base. She dropped to her knees beside you, her hands trembling as they hovered over your body, unsure where to touch, where to press, where to begin mending what had been so horribly destroyed. Blood. So much blood. It stained your clothes, your skin, and Natasha’s hands as she finally pressed down on the gunshot wounds, trying to staunch the unrelenting flow. The blood was warm, sticky, seeping through Natasha’s fingers no matter how hard she pressed, and it filled her with a fear she had never known before.

"Why did you do that?!" Natasha’s voice quivered with a mix of anger and despair, her green eyes blazing as they met yours. "I told you to be careful! Why didn’t you listen to me!" Your breathing was shallow, each breath a painful struggle. Your face was pale, your eyes glassy as you looked up at Natasha, a gentle, sad smile playing on your lips. "I couldn’t… let him.." you whispered, your voice weak but resolute. "I had to protect you."

Natasha’s heart clenched painfully in her chest, a sob threatening to break free as she pressed harder on the wounds, desperately trying to stop the blood, trying to keep your life from slipping through her fingers. "You’re an idiot!" she choked out, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her cheeks, mixing with the blood on her hands. "You stupid idiot. You should have let-" She cut herself off, her throat closing up as the truth hit her like a sledgehammer. She had failed. She had failed to protect the woman she loved more than anything in this world.

Your hand, trembling and weak, reached to Natasha’s hands, "Don’t blame yourself.." you whispered, your voice barely a shadow of its former strength. "You couldn’t have known..Please, don’t blame yourself."

But Natasha couldn’t hear you, not over the deafening roar of her own guilt. She reached for her radio, her hands slick with blood as she brought the device to her lips. "I need a MedEvac now!" she called out, her voice breaking with desperation. "She’s been shot- two bullets to the chest, she’s losing too much blood!" She dropped the radio, her hands returning to your wounds, pressing down with all her might, even though she knew it wasn’t enough. She could feel your life slipping away, like sand through her fingers, and it was tearing her apart.

Your hand, weak but determined, found its way to your chest, pressing against one of the gunshot wounds. Your fingers came back bloody, and you stared at them, a strange sense of calm washing over you. "It’s..a lot.." you murmured, almost to yourself, your voice distant, as if you were already slipping away. "Don’t look." Natasha pleaded, her voice shaking as she gently took your hand and pulled it away from the wound. "Don’t look, just focus on me. Look at me, Y/n."

Your eyes flickered back to Natasha, your gaze softening as you saw the tear-streaked face of your wife. "Nat..it’s okay." you whispered, your voice growing weaker with every word. "I love you..I love our kids..Tell th-"

"Stop it." Natasha snapped, her voice hardening with a desperation that bordered on hysteria. "You’re going to tell them yourself. You’re going to be fine. We’re going to go home, and you’re going to see them. You’re going to hold them in your arms, and you’re going to be fine. Do you hear me? You’re going to be fine!" Your eyes grew heavy, the pain and exhaustion too much to fight against. But you could still hear Natasha’s voice, that beautiful, strong voice that had always made you feel safe.

Natasha had to keep you awake. She had to make you talk, keep you focused, keep you alive. "The Kids are waiting for us." Natasha began, her voice trembling but determined. "Mia..shes probably drawing on the walls, and lets Maria wipe it away.." Natasha continued, forcing a smile despite the tears streaming down her face. "She never listens when it comes to her art. And Jacob..he’s probably curled up in that old chair, reading another one of his books. He’s so thoughtful, so kind. Just like you"

Your lips twitched in the faintest hint of a smile, your eyelids fluttering as you struggled to stay awake. "Lila’s probably got her headphones on, blasting that awful music she’s into these days.." Natasha said, trying to keep her voice light even as her heart shattered with every passing second. "She thinks it’s cool, even though it drives us all crazy. But she’s strong, just like you. She’ll be okay."

You managed a weak chuckle, but it quickly turned into a wince of pain. Natasha’s grip on your hand tightened, her other hand still pressing desperately against your wound. "Natasha, I’m so..proud of them.. proud of you.."

"And I’m proud of you." Natasha whispered back, her voice cracking as she leaned closer, her forehead resting gently against yours. "You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, Y/n. You’re going to get through this. You have to." But despite her words, she could feel your life slipping away, your breaths becoming shallower, your skin growing colder. Panic clawed at her insides, a deep, primal fear that she had never felt before. "Stay with me!" she pleaded, her voice breaking. "Please, stay with me. I can’t lose you. I can’t do this without you!"

Your eyes opened one last time, meeting Natasha’s gaze with a softness that broke her heart. "I love you." you whispered, your voice so faint it was almost lost in the air. "I’m sorry..I couldn’t-"

"Please, no." she whispered, her voice choked with sobs as she held you close, her tears mixing with the blood that stained both of you. "Don’t leave me, Y/n. Please…" The world seemed to narrow down to the sound of Natasha's frantic breathing, the steady dripping of blood on the floor, and your weakening heartbeat that she felt under her trembling hands. The walls of the Hydra base seemed to close in around her, the oppressive silence only broken by the distant echoes of their previous fight.

But then, there was sudden movement, heavy footsteps echoed on the concrete floor, voices shouting commands. The door to the room flew open, and Natasha barely registered who it was until she heard Bruce's voice. "Natasha! Step aside, let me through!" Bruce's voice was firm, but there was an urgency in it that Natasha had never heard before.

Natasha didn't want to let you go, couldn't let you go but she forced herself to move just enough to allow Bruce to kneel beside you, his first-aid kit already in hand. His face was hardened with determination as he quickly examined your wounds. His eyes met Natasha's for a brief moment, filled with something she couldn't name and didn't want to name. "This doesn't look good.." Bruce muttered quietly as he pulled out an improvised bandage and pressed it firmly against the wounds to stop the blood flow. You groaned in pain, your body jerking under his hands.

"Stay with us, Y/n.." Bruce said, his voice deep and calm, though Natasha could hear the pressure beneath it. "I need you here, okay? I'll do everything I can, but you need to hold on." Steve appeared in the doorway, his faces serious and tense as he took in the situation. Steve acted quickly, his gaze hardening as he recognized the severity of your injuries. "We need to get her out of here, immediately." he said, his voice leaving no room for argument.

"Steve, be careful." Natasha warned, her voice laced with fear as she watched him kneel beside you. She knew what needed to be done, but the thought of you being moved, the pain it would cause you, made her stomach twist with anxiety. Bruce looked up at Steve, his face grave. "I've managed to slow the bleeding, but it's not enough. We need to get her to the Quinjet quickly, she doesn't have much time left."

Steve nodded, his jaw clenched as he carefully slipped his arms under your limp body. The moment he lifted you, your eyes shot open, and a blood-curdling scream escaped your throat, raw and filled with agony. Your hands clawed at Steve's arms, your fingers digging in as the pain shot through your body like fire.

"I know it hurts." Steve said, his voice strained as he tried to keep you calm. "But we have to move you. We have to get you to the jet." Natasha was immediately by your side, her hands reaching for yours, her voice soft and soothing as she tried to calm you. "I'm here, Malysh. I'm here. Hold on, okay? Focus on my voice. We're getting you out of here."

Your eyes were wide with pain, your breaths coming in short, gasping bursts as Steve carried you toward the exit. Natasha kept pace beside you, her heart breaking at every tortured sound that escaped your lips. "Think of the kids, Y/n." Natasha murmured, her voice trembling but determined. "Lila, Mia, and Jacob, they're waiting for us. We're going home to them. You just have to hold on a little longer."

Your grip on Natasha's hand tightened, your eyes finding hers as if drawing strength from her words. "I'm..I'm trying," you gasped, your voice barely audible, but Natasha could hear the desperation, the fear. "You're doing so well, baby.." Natasha whispered, her own voice breaking. "You're so strong. Just a little bit more, I promise. We're almost there."

The Quinjet came into view, the cargo door already open, and Bruce was shouting instructions to Sam, who was preparing the medical area for emergency treatment. Steve moved as quickly as he could, his face set in determination, while your blood soaked through his uniform. Natasha stayed close to you, her hand never leaving yours, her voice a steady stream of reassurance even as her own fear threatened to choke her. "We're almost there. Just a few more steps."

Your eyes fluttered, your strength fading fast as Steve carried you up the ramp into the jet. As soon as they were inside, Bruce was there, helping Steve to gently lay you on the medical bed. The moment your back touched the bed, you screamed again, your body convulsing with pain.

Bruce moved with controlled urgency, his hands flying over the medical equipment as the jet's engines roared to life. "We need to stabilize her." he said, more to himself than the others. He inserted an IV, pumping fluids into your body to counter the blood loss. "Her pulse is weak, Natasha, keep talking to her. Don't let her drift away."

Natasha nodded, her tears flowing freely now as she leaned over you, her lips close to your ear. "You're doing so well. I'm so proud of you. Keep your eyes on me, okay? Just look at me." Your eyes fluttered open, glassy with pain, but you managed to focus on Natasha, your lips trembling as you tried to speak. "I..love you.." you whispered, your voice so weak that Natasha had to strain to hear it.

"I love you too." Natasha whispered back, her heart breaking at the sight of your pale, bloodless face. "So much. You're going to be okay. You have to be okay." But even as she spoke, Natasha could see the life fading from your eyes, your body growing colder under her touch. And then, in a moment that would haunt Natasha forever, your eyes rolled back, and the heart monitor emitted a long, shrill beep.

"Y-Y/n?" Natasha's voice was a broken whisper, her hands shaking as she shook your lifeless body. "No, no, no..Bruce do something!" He was already moving, his face pale as he grabbed the defibrillator paddles. "We're losing her! Clear!" The shock jolted your body, but the heart monitor remained flat, its unbroken tone slicing through the air like a knife. Natasha's breath caught in her throat, her entire body filled with cold terror. "No! You can't leave me! You can't leave me!"

Bruce pressed the paddles to your chest again, his voice tight with concentration. "Clear!" Your body convulsed with the shock, but still nothing. Natasha felt something inside her break, her knees giving out as she clung to your hand, her tears falling onto your still, lifeless body. "Don't do this!" Natasha sobbed, her voice breaking. "Please..I can't lose you. I need you!"

Bruce was relentless, refusing to give up as he administered another shock. "Come on, Y/n!" he muttered through gritted teeth. "Come on." Ad then, like a miracle, there was a flicker on the monitor..a weak but present heartbeat. Natasha's breath caught, hope flooding her like a wave. Bruce immediately switched tactics, working quickly to stabilize you, his hands moving with a speed that only came from years of practice.

"She's back.." Bruce said, his voice trembling with relief but also with the realization of how fragile this life still was. "But she's not out of the woods yet. We need to get her to the MedBay immediately." The Quinjet accelerated to full speed, racing toward Avengers Compound. Natasha stayed by your side the entire time, her hand gripping yours so tightly her knuckles turned white. "You can't do this to me again, you hear me?" she whispered urgently, as tears continued to stream down her face. "Do you hear me, Y/n! You can't leave me."

Natasha held on to the faint pulse under her fingers, to the fragile heartbeat that was all that kept her world from completely shattering. The flight back to the Compound felt like an eternity, every second stretching out as Natasha watched Bruce work, her heart heavy as a stone in her chest. But she refused to let you go, refused to let you slip away again. She kept talking to you, whispering promises, clinging to the hope that somehow, someway, they would make it through this. The Quinjet landed with a jolt on the grounds of the Compound, the ramp lowering before the engines had fully powered down. Natasha didn't wait for the jet to come to a complete stop, she was on her feet immediately, running alongside the gurney where you lay, pale and motionless, as Bruce and a team of medics rushed you into the medical wing.

The blood seeping through the hastily applied bandages was a constant reminder of the bullets that had torn through your body. Natasha's hands were still stained with that blood, her mind fogged with fear and despair as she clung to the edge of the gurney, her eyes never leaving your face for a moment.

The medics burst through the doors of the medical wing, but in that moment, Natasha's breath caught. In the hallway, eyes wide with fear and horror, stood her children. Lila, Jacob, and Mia. They were supposed to be with Maria! Safe and far away from the nightmare that was unfolding. But there they were, huddled together, their faces pale with fear and confusion. They must have sensed that something was wrong, must have noticed the change in the air when the Quinjet landed.

“Mom!” called Lila, her voice cracking under the weight of fear and anger. “What happened?? Is Y/n okay??” Jacob clung Lilas arm, his face contorted with worry. “Why is there so much blood?” he asked, his voice trembling. “What happened to her?” Mia, held onto Lila's other arm, her big eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Natasha. “Why are there so many poeple?” she whispered, her voice small and full of fear. Natasha's heart broke at the sight of the Kids, standing there so vulnerable and scared. This was the last thing she wanted..that they had to see you like this, that they had to be exposed to this kind of fear. She wanted to protect them, to shield them from the harsh realities of the life she led, but there was no time to think, no time to find the right words.

The medics paused for a brief moment, a fleeting second, as they maneuvered the gurney through the door. In that instant, the Kids saw you, your ashen face, the blood-soaked bandages, the way your body lay motionless and lifeless. It was only a brief moment, but it was enough. Mia let out a small, sharp cry. She turns to Lila's to press her face into hers and Jacob's eyes widened, his grip on Lila's arm tightened until his knuckles turned white. Even Lila, who was trying so hard to be brave, took a step back, her face drained of all color.

“oh my god, what happened?!” Lila asked, her voice rising in panic. “Why does she look like that? What’s going on?” Natasha felt her throat tighten, her breath catching in her chest. She needed to be with you, needed to be by your side as the doctors fought for your life. But she couldn’t leave the kids like this, couldn’t just walk away without giving them some kind of explanation, some kind of comfort. She knelt in front of them, her hands reaching out to pull them close. “Listen to me.” she said, her voice trembling with the effort to stay calm. “Y/n..she's very badly hurt, but the doctors are going to do everything they can to help her. You need to stay with Maria now, okay? I have to be with her.”

Mia's tears spilled over, her little hands clutching at Natasha's suit. “But why did she get hurt?" Jacob was crying now too, silent tears streaming down his face as he shook his head. “I don’t want her to die, mum. I don’t want her to die..” Lila, her face pale and drawn, looked up at Natasha, her eyes a mixture of fear and anger. “She won't, will she?” she asked, her voice breaking. “Why did this even happen to her and not to you?”

The question hit Natasha like a physical blow, the guilt she had been trying to suppress rising up and choking her. How could she explain this? How could she make them understand that you had taken those bullets for them, that she had made the ultimate sacrifice because she believed they needed Natasha more? But there was no time. The medics began to move again, pushing the gurney through the doors and out of sight. Natasha’s heart twisted painfully as she looked at her children, their tear-streaked faces filled with confusion and fear.

“I promise I’ll explain everything.” Natasha whispered, her voice thick with tears. “But right now, I have to be with her. Please..please stay with Maria. I’ll come back as soon as I can.” She pulled back a little and looked directly at Lila, who was trying so hard to hold it together. “Lila.” she said, her voice firm but full of urgency, “I need you to be strong now. Your brother and sister are going to need you. I need you to take care of them while I’m with Y/n. Can you do that for me?”

Lila’s eyes widened, the weight of what Natasha was asking settling on her young shoulders. She hesitated, fear and uncertainty flashing in her eyes, but then she nodded, her jaw setting in determination. “I can do it.” she said, her voice steady despite the tears she was fighting back. “I’ll take care of them.” Natasha reached out, cupping her face with one hand, her thumb brushing away a stray tear. “Thank you." She whispered, her voice filled with gratitude and love. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I trust you, Lila. I need to know they’re safe with you.”

Lila nodded again, this time more decisively, and took Jacob and Mia’s hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “We’ll be okay, Mom. You go take care of Y/n.” Natasha swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. “I’ll come back as soon as I can.” she promised, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads. “I love you all so much.” With that, she forced herself to turn away, even though every instinct screamed at her to stay with them, to hold them until the fear subsided. But she couldn’t. She had to be with you, had to be there while the doctors fought for your life. She hurried after the medics, her heart pounding in her chest as she rushed through the doors of the medical wing, leaving her children behind, their tearful eyes searing into her memory.

[cutielando]

the fam | c.l.

synopsis: in which you finally meet his family

my masterlist

Meeting the family of your boyfriend freaked out every single girl on this planet, there was no denying it.

But meeting the famous Leclerc family? 10 times more nerve-wrecking.

Ever since you started dating Charles, you often found yourself nervous every single time he would mention his family.

It's not that you had a problem with them or anything, it was far from it actually. You just knew how close they were to each other and didn't want to intrude.

Charles had told you all about his previous girlfriends and what kind of relationships they had with his family, so you wanted to impress and make them like you.

Hence why, with 10 minutes before you had to leave for Pascale's house, you were freaking out and losing your cool.

"I can't do this" you told Charles, pacing around the living room with your hands gripping the roots of your hair.

"What do you mean, amour?" Charles asked, coming from the kitchen and seeing you having close to a panic attack.

"I don't know if I can meet your family. What if they don't like me and then we have to break up because they don't approve of us? I don't want to break up, I don't want them to think I'm bad for you, what if they think we're not right for each other?" you rambled, only stopping when Charles took your face in his hands and kissed you.

You melted into the kiss, your muscles slowly relaxing and the tension you had been feeling disappearing for the moment.

"Amour, my family already loves you. They've loved you ever since I told them about you. It's just Christmas dinner, they want to officially meet you instead of getting to know you through me. Maman sometimes tells me she likes you more than she does me" he said, the last part making you chuckle.

You've spoken to his mother on the phone a couple of times when Charles would call her to check up on his family, but this was such a bigger deal than just talking over the phone. You would be in her home, with her entire family. You were allowed to feel a little intimidated.

"I just want everyone to like me because I love you and I really want a future with you" you said, pouting a little.

"I know, mon amour. Believe me when I say everything is going to be okay. You have nothing to worry about, I promise. Everyone already loves you"

You nodded and leaned up to peck his lips once again before you finally decided to get ready to leave for Pascale's house.

Your heart, of course, still threatening to beat out of your chest.

♡♡♡♡♡

"Maman?" Charles called out as he opened the door to his mother's home, holding your hand and pulling you inside with him.

"Charlie, mon amour!!" the woman squealed as she set eyes on her son, bringing him into a tight hug.

Charles let go of your hand as he hugged his mother, leaving you to stand beside him awkwardly because you didn't want to intrude on the moment.

Once Charles pulled away, he came to stand by you once more and wrapped his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to his body.

"Maman, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is my mother" he didn't even get to properly get the words out before Pascale jumped at you literally, bringing you into the same type of hug she had just given Charles.

"Oh, it is so good to finally meet you. I've been dying to have you over for dinner for so long" the older woman gushed in your ear, making your nerves dissipate and you felt how you started to calm down and embrace the woman's warmth.

"It's nice to finally meet you as well" you said, giving her a wide smile as you pulled away from the hug.

She ushered you into the living room where everyone else was already seated, the chatter stopping when the three of you entered the brightly lit room. Everyone's eyes were fixated on you and Charles, all eager to meet the woman that had stolen the young driver's heart.

After introductions had been made, Pascale announced that it was time to everyone to make their way towards the dining room for the festive dinner.

"Y/N, I have to ask, how do you put up with my brother?" Charles' little brother Arthur asked as you all chilled in the dining room after the amazing feast Pascale had prepared for the night.

"Hey, I'm right here!" Charles said in a hurt voice, but he knew his brother was only pulling his leg.

"It's tough, if we're being completely honest" you joked, laughing when you saw the pout that had made its way onto Charles' face. "All jokes aside, I'm really lucky to have him by my side, he's a real gem and I can now see where he gets it from" you looked all around the room, your heart filling with love for the family that had so warmly accepted you into the family.

♡♡♡♡♡

As the night drew to a close, you figures it was time for the two of you to also make your way home.

"Thank you for having us, really. It's been a pleasure finally getting together like this" you told Charles' mother as you waited for him to finish getting ready to leave.

"Nonsense, you're welcome here anytime with or without Charles. We should spend some time together after the holidays, have some alone time without the boys breathing down our necks" she joked, making you chuckle with her.

"I would really like that" you said as Pascale handed you her phone for you to type in your phone number.

"Amour, are you ready to go?" Charles asked as he entered the hall, all dressed and ready to go.

You nodded and bid your final goodbyes to the entire family before stepping out into the warm Monaco weather. 

As you made your way home, you couldn't wipe the smile off of your face the entire ride over. Charles noticed this, which warmed his heart.

"So, how did you feel tonight?" he asked, squeezing your thigh to get your attention.

"It was amazing. Thank you for taking me with you" you smiled, taking his hand in yours and planting a kiss on the back of his palm.

"I told you everyone would love you, you're part of the family already whether you like it or not" he said, making you giggle.

"Oh, your mom and I made plans to hang out after the holidays pass, just some girl time" you told him excitedly, your eyes sparkling.

He smiled to himself, his heart bursting with happiness and love that the two most important women in his life got along.

Neither of you could ask for more in that moment.

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.

I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.

However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.

Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.

Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.

First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.

It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.

I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.

TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?

What are these acronyms?

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— a lot of reserved feelings | buddy & monkey: double the trouble - the prequel

so i got an anon hc asking about how monkey be with lia at the start and this is the result of it.

thank you to @alotofpockets and @lvnleah for the help and support with this one!

“Why do I need to stay with her? I’m fine by myself!” You shouted in annoyance through the house, making your feelings perfectly well clear.

You weren’t happy about this decision at all.

“Because I said so,” The blonde was quick to reply.

You scowled at the blonde across from you and let out a loud huff,  “That’s not a proper reason though!”

“It’s the reason I’m giving you and I’ve made my final decision about it now, so I don’t want to hear anymore whining about it, alright?” Leah told you, sternly.

You were definitely not in agreement about this whole idea, but apparently you didn’t get a say in these things.

The whole idea of being left alone with people other than Leah, Jordan and Kim made you feel anxious and you really didn’t like it, not one bit.

Usually if you had to stay with anyone other than Leah and Jordan, it would be Kim, however due to her making other plans, it meant that she was unavailable to do so this time.

So, unfortunately for you, Lia volunteered instead.

It’s not that you didn’t like the woman, after all she was your team mate and she was nice, but you just didn’t know her well enough to not have your guard up around her.

Therefore the reason you weren’t happy about it.

“Look, I know you’re not happy about this kid, but just go along with this one, will you?” Jordan spoke up, trying to keep the peace in the house between you and Leah.

“I don’t see why I have to stay with Lia– I’m perfectly capable of staying home alone!” You still continued to further insist against the idea, “I don’t even know her that well!”

“Lia is nice and she’s part of the team, so it’ll be good to hang out with her other than through the club, won’t it?” Jordan still tried her luck to get you to agree to this one, “Come on, I know you don’t like this but just agree to this time, yeah? Just to put the pregnant lady’s stress at bay in the meantime.” She joked, trying to keep the mood in the room light.

“Fine, whatever. I still don’t like it though!” You made your feelings perfectly valid that you were definitely not happy about this, but if it meant keeping Leah stress free with her due date around the corner then you would go along with it.

"Monkey! Lia's here, are you going to come downstairs and say hello?" You heard Leah shout from downstairs to get your attention.

"Guess I got no choice," You thought to yourself, not bothering to move from your bed where you had bundled yourself in a blanket and made yourself comfy watching a marvel film.

Could it be worse?

"Hey kid," Jordan poked her hear around your bedroom door, "Lia's here now, so we're gonna be going soon." She explained.

You peered to look at her from where you lay on your bed, "I know, I just heard Leah shout upstairs to me."

"You gonna come and say hi then?" The older women wondered, hoping that you would be a bit more willing to come downstairs than you have been since you heard about it overall.

"Do I have a choice about it?" You remarked, more than aware you most likely did not.

Jordan shrugged her shoulders in response, "Well I guess it would be polite to at least say hello to her kid."

"Fine, alright then," You couldn't help but huff, pausing the film and slump of your bed to make your way downstairs to see Leah and Lia having a conversation between them.

"Are you sure you don't mind watching her?" You overheard Leah question as she moved slowly round the house to make sure she had everything she needed for their night out.

"No, it's not a problem at all. I'm happy to help out when needed!" Lia replied, taking her coat off and making herself at home.

You could see Leah giving the woman a weary smile, "Only if you're sure about this? Monkey can tend to be a bit reserved around people that she doesn't know that well." She explained, briefly.

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure about it, Le," Lia chuckled slightly and shook her head, "I'm sure I can handle a teenager for a few hours!"

"You know I can hear you, right?" You quipped, walking down the stairs to make your presence known, "I already said I didn't need a babysitter, but none of you would listen." You added, still continuing to make your feelings known about this.

"Ah, here's the menace," Leah joked, spotting you appear down the stairs with Jordan behind her, "You know we just feel more reassured if you had someone here with you, Monkey." She explained, trying to make her reasoning a bit more clearer.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and huffed once again, "You worry too much, I'd be fine!"

The blonde clicked her tongue in disapproval, "Well what you call me worrying is what I call myself caring," She stated as she picked up her purse, "Lia is here to take care of you so please don't be giving her a hard time about this, alright?"

"Fine, whatever," You grumbled in protest.

Jordan nudged your shoulder slightly and smiled at you, "Come on kid, we talked about this, didn't we? Just stay here with Lia for us and don't make a fuss about it," She tried her luck to get you to be more willing again to agree, "Just do it for Leah's peace of mind, eh?" She reminded you.

"Anythin' to save the wrath of a pregnant women," You remarked cheekily, rolling your eyes.

"Exactly, you know how protective she is and especially this late at night, yeah?" Jordan playfully joked, slinging her arm around your shoulder and having to lean up a bit since you were just that bit taller than her.

You groaned in annoyance and slumped your shoulders, "Ugh alright, fine, but I'm still not happy with this though!"

"Good girl," Leah walked back in on the tail end of the conversation and pressed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, "Alright, we shouldn't be back too late. Remember to go to bed at a reasonable time, alright?" She reminded you.

"I'm not a child," You grumbled in response.

"Yes you are," The blonde chuckled and ruffled your hair, "Bed at a sensible time and don't be staying up too late, alright?" She repeated.

"Yeah yeah, fine alright," Begrudgingly you agreed to save an argument, although you sometimes found it hard to sleep and you didn't know exactly how well you'd be sleep without familiar people in the house.

"That's my girl," Leah stated, lightly kissing you on the top of your head again, "Have fun!" She waved, heading out of the front door.

"Sure, mandatory fun. It sounds somewhat wonderful," You sarcastically remarked, sticking your hands in your pockets, "Buh-bye now!" You waved goodbye to them both.

"Thanks again for watching her tonight Lia," Jordan thanked the women with a kind smile, "I hope she doesn't give you too much of a hard time." She joked, motioning to you where you awkwardly stood in front of the stairs.

"Please, I'm delightful!" You insist, trying to make it seem like your fine with this when your definitely most not.

You felt nervous and you really didn't like this at all.

"I'm sure we'll have fun," Lia chuckled, sending you a small smile, "Have fun you two!" She said, waving them both off as they left the house.

"So then, what is it that you like to do when your not playing football?" Lia questioned, being the first to break the silence in the room between the two of you.

Shrugging your shoulders in response, you barely acknowledge Lia, "I watch movies and stuff."

"Oh," Lia's facial expression turned to surprised, "Is there one that you would like to watch?" She wondered, you guess somewhat hopeful you'd take her up on the idea of that.

"No, I'm fine," You disagreed, shaking your head.

You didn't feel safe, you just wanted to bury yourself under your duvet cover and shelter away in safety.

You knew Lia but it didn't mean you felt comfortable with her.

You couldn't help but have your walls up again with a complete stranger practically, since you only know her from being a part of the club.

"Okay then, that's alright if you don't want too. Is there anything that you do want to do?" Lia wondered, trying to figure out how best to interact with you.

You shook your head in disagreement again, "Nope."

"Alright then, well if you change your mind--" Lia began to speak until you abruptly cut her off.

"Why are you here?" You snapped at the older woman.

Lia looked taken back at your sudden change of mood, "I'm here so you're not alone, Monkey. Leah told you that already though." She explained, frowning slightly.

Shaking your head, you furrowed your eyebrow and began to pace the floor, "I don't get why you're here-- I already told them that I don't need a babysitter!" You exclaimed, loudly.

"I'm sure they just want to know you have someone here with you, you know?" Lia tried to be a voice of reason, however, she wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation right now.

"I don't need you here... I don't! I am perfectly fine to take care of myself, I don't need anyone checking up on me either!" With that, you stomp off back in the direction of the stairs and leave Lia sat downstairs dumbfounded.

"Why are you allowing me to just ignore you while you're here?" You murmured, wandering down the stairs a few hours later in the night to see Lia sat watching a television program quietly.

Lia paused the TV and looked directly at you, "Well if you think that me ignoring you is what you need then who I am to stand in the way of that?" She wondered.

"Yeah well, you can go home. You don't need to stay here," You told her, firmly because you still didn't understand why she was still here.

Why hadn't she left?

You had found the comfort of your bedroom, your type of safe haven, but yet you still couldn't help but wrap the idea of Lia willingly let you ignore her for the past several hours that she has been here.

It didn't make a whole lot of sense, did it?

"I'm here because I care about you Monkey," Lia told you sincerely, "I also understand that you need space and me pushing you won't help that."

You didn't miss a chance to roll your eyes, "You don't even understand how I feel!"

"I'm far from perfect myself and I do remember being a teenager, so I know that me trying to yell at you or even trying to force to you talk won't solve anything, would it?" Lia questioned, trying to keep the situation from getting too tense.

"Oh, you think you're so wise, huh?" You couldn't help but scoff, "Just because you're older, you think you know everything about how I feel?" You questioned, trying to figure out where you would hit a nerve.

You don't mean to push buttons, but you did wonder how much could you say to push her away?

You don't know whether you could trust her right now or not, there's one way to find out.

Lia shook her head in disagreement, "No, I don't know everything but I am trying to be here for you in a way that you need." She explained, honestly.

"You're not doing a great job of it, so maybe you should just leave if you can't handle it," You still continued to try and rile the woman up, trying to figure out how much further you could push her.

"You think I can't handle it? I've dealt with worse than a frustrated teenager," Lia had an amused expression on her face, "I'm here because I care about you, no matter how hard you find that hard to believe, alright?"

Right there and then, you felt too stunned to speak about things.

"If you want to try and push me away then go ahead but I'm still going to be here for you," The older woman stated, gently as she gave you a reassuring smile, "No matter how long it takes for you to trust me, Monkey. I won't leave you alone." She added.

With Lia's words fresh in the back of your head, you couldn't help but wonder if she actually was being truthful about what she said.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did want to leave, you know? I haven't exactly been that nice to you tonight," You spoke up, shuffling from one sock clad foot to the other as you fumbled with her hands.

Lia gave you another sympathetic smile, "Your a teenager, Monkey. I take no offence to it. Like I said before, I'm not going to leave you." She repeated her words.

"Why not? Other people have, you wouldn't be any different to do the same," You can't help but wonder why she hasn't indeed left, like so many other people have done in the past.

"I can understand why you don't trust easily and it's okay to have your guard up," The older woman explained honestly, "But I want you to know that you can trust me, I know I haven't known you for as long as Leah and Jordan have, but I do care about you." She added.

"You do?" You looked at her in complete surprise.

Lia nodded in agreement and smiled, "Yes, I do. Not just as my team mate but as a person."

You feel like there's a small piece of you that can begin to trust Lia know, a sense of knowing that if there is something wrong that the woman would listen to you and have your back about it.

Maybe Lia is a safe person then?

"Lia," You murmured quietly, waiting for her acknowledgement, "Would you uh, would you maybe like to watch a film?" You questioned, hesitantly.

Lia beamed a wide smile, "I would love to watch a movie with you, Monkey. Which one would you like to watch?" She wondered.

"Really? Awesome!" You all but flopped onto the sofa beside her as she passed you the remote, "Have you ever watched Shrek?" You questioned.

"No, I haven't," Lia replied, confused at the movie title.

You spun your head around to look at her and gasped, "What?! You... You've never watched Shrek?!" You questioned in disbelief, "You have to see it, I'm puttin' it on, right now!" You insisted.

"Okay if you insist," The older woman chuckled in amusement as she briefly checked the time on her watch, "How about you and change into your pajamas and I'll make us some hot chocolate for when you come back?" She suggested when she realised that you were still in the clothes from the day.

"Hot chocolate?" Your eyes did light up at the mention of that, you were an absolute sucker for them, "With whipped creams and marshmallows, right?" You double checked with her.

"It wouldn't be a proper one without it, would it?" Lia joked, patting your knee lightly, "Go on upstairs and I'll start to make them." She told you, gesturing in the direction of the stairs.

You didn't have to be told twice as you dipped off upstairs to get changed into comfy pajamas, before dragging one of the fluffy blankets you have collected back down the stairs into the living room to get settled on the sofa while Lia finished making the hot chocolates.

"That was quick," Lia smiled as she walked back into the living room with 2 steaming mugs of hot chocolate in her hands, "Eager for the hot chocolate, huh?" She teased you lightly.

"Duh its' hot chocolate!" You exclaimed, reaching out eagerly for it from the Swiss woman's hands, "I can't believe you haven't watched Shrek before. You need to educate yourself!"

Lia chuckled and settled back on the sofa beside you, "Well you'd better show me what it's all about then, eh?" She joked with you.

"Be prepared to amazed then," You were determined to leave an impression with this film as you scouted through the TV to find it as it began as the familiar dreamwork logo appeared on the screen.

"How many times have you watched this film then?" Lia wondered, laughing in amusement as she saw you literally bouncing up and down in your seat, "I feel I should be concerned with how excited you are."

"Sh, it's starting!" You butted in as the film started to play to stop her talking any longer, "No talkin'!" You declared, firmly.

You didn't waste the time to bop along to the music at the start, all but leaning forward to watch it for what was probably the hundredth times.

"This is the part where you run away," You whisper the words from the start of the movie, Lia just watched you and shook her head in amusement, "I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy!"

The two of you watched the movie, of course you yapped on the whole way through reciting the movie quotes as you were so familiar with and Lia was just happy to see you slowly opening up to her.

"Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you!" You exclaimed loudly still continuing to speak the movie quotes aloud, "I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder."

"So, have many times have you watched it now?" Lia repeated her question in amusement, shaking her head in complete amusement until you scowled at her, "Alright, noted. I'll stop talkin' until it finishes." She joked.

You nod in agreement as you continued to watch the film, "We can stay up late swapping manly stories and in the morning, I'm making waffles!" You repeated it again, word for word, "WhAt ArE yOu DoIn' In My SwAmP!?"

"Do you know all the words to this-- Alright, right, got it. No talking, I remember," Lia couldn't help but laugh and held her hands up in mock protest when she saw the dirty scowl you still continued to give her.

Despite your excitement, you still didn't manage to make it through the first film before a wave of exhaustion washed over you and you found yourself trying to fight to stay awake.

Even though it seemed be impossible to do exactly that.

"Someones' getting tired, huh?" Lia joked, watching you as you tried to keep your eyes pried open, "How about we turn the film off and you head up to bed?" She suggested.

"Nuh-uh, its' not over yet!" You protested against the idea, literally shuffling your body to lean up against hers, "M' not even that tired yet."

"I don't think that's true is it?" Lia remarked, stifling her laughter but allowed you to curl up beside her.

"Yer don't know what yer talkin' about!" You grumbled as you continued to fight to stay awake, all but resting your head on her chest as the older woman smiled and without much thinking started to thread her fingers through your hair.

It did work wonders to make you fall asleep through as less then 10 minutes all that could be heard is the sound of your soft snores.

"That worked a charm," Lia thought to herself as she still continued to her fingers through your hair.

Really the woman thought it would be best to move you to your bed but you looked so peaceful asleep, and from what she heard previously you hadn't been sleeping all that well the past few nights so you could do well so probably get some sleep.

It wasn't all that long before a key was heard turning in the door before Leah and Jordan stumbled through the door from their night at the awards ceremony.

"Hi, we're back," Leah whispered aloud, more than aware you were fast asleep upstairs or so she thought at least, not realizing that you were in fact downstairs on the sofa instead as she unfastened the straps on her shoes.

"Hi, we're in here," Lia's voice quietly spoke out to the two women, careful to not jolt you awake from your deep slumber.

"Hello," Jordan's voice whispered through the house as she unfastened her shoes and followed Leah into the living room.

"How's she been-- Oh, I didn't realise she was asleep down here," Leah tried to speak quieter than previous as she smiled softly at your sleeping state, "Has she been out long?"

"About half an hour now. I thought she might've stirred though when she heard you both come home," Lia admitted to the two women, shifting carefully to avoid you waking up still.

Jordan smiled and took note of the television, "Oh I see she's got you watching Shrek, she loves them films," She chuckled, shaking her head in amusement, "Did she recite it word for word?" She questioned.

Lia laughed and nodded in agreement, "Oh yes, I got a few scowls when I tried to talk." She told them.

"That doesn't surprise me," Leah laughed in response and peered down to look at you, "She looks comfy, I didn't expect her to be curled up to you. Thank you for looking after her tonight, has she been okay?" She wondered, curiously.

"It was a little bit rocky at first but we talked," Lia explained to the blonde defender, "I think she's starting to come around now so that's a start." She added, accepting it would take a while for you to come out of your shell.

"One day at a time," Jordan chipped in as she smiled fondly down at you fast asleep, "I'll wake her up and take her upstairs to bed." She offered, kneeling down beside your sleeping form.

"I think she's completely out of it," Leah chuckled in amusement.

"Monkey, wake up, kid," Jordan gently nudged you to wake you up.

You slowly opened your eyes tiredly as you realised that Jordan and Leah were both back now, "You're back." You murmured in a state of still being half asleep.

"We are," Jordan chuckled, shaking her head in amusement, "Come on, time for bed, kid."

You let out a small groan and stretched a bit before you just stared at her tiredly, "My legs are too tired to walk," You mumbled before you let out a yawn, "I wan' more sleep."

"You can sleep once your upstairs in your own bed," Leah piped in amusedly as she watched you start to close your eyes again, "Bed time, Monkey." She repeated.

"M' fine," You waved them off as you started to shut your eyes once again, "I wan' stay asleep down here cos' I'm comfy." You didn't remember falling asleep where you did on Lia and your pretty sure that if you were more awake you wouldn't be so keen to be virtually lying on top of her but you were in a such tired state that you didn't care at this point.

Jordan chuckled and despite the height difference, your weighed considerably less so she was able to lift you up from Lia and comfortably hold you up in her own arms, "I'm gonna take sleepy head up to bed." She gestured in the direction of the stairs.

"Wait, wait, no... I gotta show Lia the rest of the Shrek movies," You jolted in Jordan's arms as you suddenly realised it and the older woman chuckled, "Can she please stay the night so we can watch them all tomorrow? Pretty pretty pleaseee!" You pleaded with the two older women.

Leah laughed in amusement, "Well that is fine with us, but maybe you should ask Lia first if she'd want too, huh?" She teased you, shuffling past you as she ruffled your hair.

"Lia, will you stay? Please! That way we can watch all the Shrek movies!" You exclaimed, secretly hoping that the women would indeed stay, "Please, please, you have to stay!" You begged and pleaded with her.

"Don't worry, I'll spend the night," Lia smiled and nodded in agreement, "I can't wait to watch the rest of the Shrek movies." She added.

"You'll regret saying that," Leah joked and shook her head, "Right, you, go to bed, its' late." She pointed towards the direction of the stairs before she kissed the top of your head.

"The night is still early," You grumbled in protest, fighting to stay awake in Jordan's arms, "We could even make time to watch another film!"

"I don't think so, there'll be plenty of time to watch more tomorrow," The blonde stated in disagreement as she laughed, "Sweet dreams, Monkey."

You let another yawn escape your mouth unwillingly, "Night Le, night Lia!" You murmured, the exhaustion taking over you once again as you rested your head on Jordan's shoulder as you felt you move up the stairs, "Can't wait for the Shrek marathon tomorrow!"

© scribblesofagoonerr

[danurso]

NWN Challenge

*At a nice bar in Atlas*

Ruby: You’re still dealing with the fallout of that mess?

Blake: Of course. As the head of the white fang I can't just clean up a mess and ignore what caused it and who was affected by it…..*sigh* The last thing I want is people thinking we’re slipping back into what we used to be years back.

Yang: Good thing your pops is really good at de-escalating, well that and Weiss’ PR team.

Blake: Yeah. Where is her by the way? I wanted to thank her personally for all the help.

Ruby: She said she was coming, something came up during work.

Yang: Or someone. If Jaune went to visit she might be an hour or so late.

Blake: That. . . . . . probably isn't the case.

Yang: Why?

Blake: *nods* Because she doesn't look like she just had a good time.

The trio then turned to see a familiar heiress coming in, looking like she was about to murder someone.

Weiss: *sits down on the table*

Bartender: What will it be mi-

Weiss: Vodka. Pure. And make it a triple.

Yang: Yeesh. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Ruby: What happened?

Blake: Who did you kill?

Weiss: He's not dead, the doctors said just broke a few bones.

R_BY: . . . . . . . .

Weiss: . . . .what?

Blake: . . . . .i was joking.

Weiss: Oh. . . .right. . . . .

Ruby: Wait, wait, you tried to kill someone!?

Weiss: I didn't! I just exaggerated a bit while dealing with a jerk.

Yang: What happened?

Weiss: . . . . .*sigh* I was venting to Winter about some private things about Jaune, as soon as she left an associate came in, he must've heard something about what we're talking, because as soon as we were done talking business he tried asking me out.

Yang: Doesn't everyone at the company know you just married?

Weiss: They do and he knew about it. But he insisted saying we could do something “fun” and that he could “Give me what i needed” since my husband wasn't doing so.

Ruby: Oh gods. . . . . .

Yang: Hah!

Blake: Like, I understand why that made you angry, but did you have to send the guy to the hospital?

Weiss: Not really, but i’ve been having a really stressful week and even after i said no multiple times, he kept pushing, and the moment he got too close i catapulted him out of the room with a glyph, though because of everything i miscalculated and sent him through a wall instead of the door.

Yang: *laughs* Please send me the video whenever you can! I wanna see that.

Ruby: Well, jerk aside, is everything okay? You sound like there's been stress even before that.

Bartender: Here miss. *Puts down her drink*

Weiss: Thanks.

Blake: Is everything okay at home? You said you were venting about Jaune, is everything okay between you two?

Weiss: No! The last three weeks been awful! HE has been awful!

Blake: Wait what?

Yang: Wow, That's a surprise.

Ruby: But why? What's wrong with Jaune?

Weiss: He’s been the worst! I keep having to deal with issues at the company! Cleaning the mess my father made! And then, after an awful day of work, what am I greeted with!?

Yang: A blown up house?

Blake: Another woman?

Ruby: Jaune wouldn't do that blake! Geez. . . . .Oh! Was it maybe a dead body?

Weiss: No! As soon as I come in he greets me with that stupid! Bright! And warm smile! He hugs me tight goes on about missing me soooo much! He covers me in kisses! Takes me in to show the warm bath he prepared for me! The house which is basically spotless and the dinner which was my favorite! Aaaarggh! Just thinking about it makes my blood boil! *Chugs the drink*

Ruby: . . . . . . . .

Yang: . . . . . . . .

Blake: . . . . . . . . . .that's it?

Weiss: Oh no. No no no, it gets worse. After dinner he brings me a whole cheesecake! Freshly made! And after we ate he took me to the living room and massaged every corner of my stressed body! I felt like I was melting! Oh gods the nerve of that man!!!

Yang: Wow, sounds like a nightmare.

Weiss: I know! Because it is!

Blake: *deadpan* Is it though?

Ruby: Err, Weiss? Are you sure there's a problem there? Because you make it sound like he's doing something bad but apparently he's been really sweet to you.

Weiss: I know! And it's unbearable!

Ruby: But why?

Weiss: BECAUSE IT'S NOVEMBER RUBY!!!

R_BY: Ohhhh. . . . .

Blake: He’s doing that dumb challenge too? I thought it was just Sun.

Ruby: *sigh* Nah, Oscar was doing it too.

Yang: Sounds like a headache. Lucky me and Arslan don't struggle with that stuff.

Blake: Yes, because she's not a guy, they tend to be incredibly stubborn about the stupidest things. Well, as stubborn as you can be with someone who knows all your weaknesses.

Ruby: Got him to give up?

Blake: Around a week in, would’ve been sooner if i wasn't busy with the fang. Oscar giving you trouble?

Ruby: Nope. He went for ten days straight, then he walked in on me coming out of the shower and he snapped. *Chuckles* I wasn't even trying to make him lose.

Weiss: *eyebrow twitching* Good to know I'm the only one suffering here.

Yang: Come on ice cream. You know that guy is basically addicted to you, if you give him a push in the right direction I'm pretty sure he’ll just crumble.

Weiss: And you think I haven't tried!? Skimpy swimsuits, Lingeries, Nudes throughout the day, dirty comments, cosplaying his favorite characters, offering to do the most questionable things! I used every last trick in the book and he STILL didn't cave in!

Yang: Oh, wow.

Blake: I knew he had a strong will but this is still surprising to hear.

Weiss: It's so frustrating! I get to come back home every day to the most wonderful husband in the world, who pampers and looks after me, doing everything I wish and making me the happiest woman in Remnant! And you tell me I can't ride him to oblivion after all that!? It's unfair!!! Utter Injustice!!! I wished I knew who came up with this challenge so I could strangle them until they're blue!!!

Yang: *chuckles* I can't tell if you're angrier at not getting laid for three weeks now or at him for not falling for your charms.

Weiss: BOTH!!!

Ruby: I mean, you said you tried everything but it doesn't sound like it.

Weiss: I did Ruby. I most certainly did! And wore basically anything you could imagine, I went as far as to wear things that, if images were leaked online, my life would be ruined and Blake would never talk to me again.

Yang: . . . . . . .you wore a-

Blake: *covers her mouth* Please don't, I’d rather our friendship still exist by the end of the night. For once in my life i do NOT wanna know.

Yang: *pushes her out* Wow. You really pulled all the stops.

Weiss: And it did nothing to him!!! *Depressed sigh*

Ruby: I mean, so far it sounds like all you did was dress up and act sexy to try and make him cave in.

Weiss: What else was I supposed to do!?

Ruby: Did you forget who you're married to? It's pretty easy to get him to bend and do what you want once you pin his weakness down.

Weiss: . . . . . .that sounded very wrong, especially being about my husband.

Ruby: What? I never abused that weakness mind you! He's my best friend, I could never!

Yang: Unless he has your favorite cookies.

Ruby: *pink* That's different!

Weiss: Spit it out already!

Ruby: *sigh* . . . . .fine. but he ever asks, you didn't learn this from me.

-

Weiss: *walks in* I’m home.

Jaune: *wearing pajamas* Hey, how was your night? *Hugs her* Everyone doing well?

Weiss: Yeah. *Kisses him* Everyone is doing well.

Jaune: I left some food for you in the microwave, wasn’t sure if you would eat out so i made something.

Weiss: It's fine, we got something to eat on the way back.

Jaune: I’ll pack it up for tomorrow then. *Walking to the kitchen* By the way, Whitley called. He said something about a guy you sent to the hospital. Is everything okay at work?

Weiss: Yeah, someone tried hitting on me earlier, and I accidentally used too much force to push him off when he tried to get too close.

Jaune: *storing the food* Ouch. Almost makes me feel bad for him. . . . .almost. *feels a pair of arms wrapping around his torso from behind.* . . . . . .Weiss?

Weiss: *inhale* . . . . . .*deep exhale*

Jaune: *serious* Weiss. . . . .that guy didn't hurt you, did he?

Weiss: *chuckles* Good to know my knight is still there to protect me if I ever need, I thought he ended up buried under my cute husband.

Jaune: Weiss-

Weiss: He did nothing, just a few sweet words which I already forgot. I just wanted to hug you.

Jaune: If you say so, then I believe you. What do you wanna do now?

Weiss: Bed. I’m tired, could you come with me though?

Jaune didn't answer, he only turned around and picked her up in his arms, making her chuckle in response, he took her to the bedroom and helped her out of her clothes and into her nightgown, and soon enough, they were both in bed cuddling.

Weiss: *Chuckling*

Jaune: What’s so funny?

Weiss: Nothing. I’m just happy.

Jaune: That's good to hear. You seemed a little stressed these last few days.

Weiss: Yeah. . . .but I'm fine now. In fact, I couldn't be happier.

Jaune: Really?

Weiss: Of course. *Hugs him closer* I’ve got a nice house, a good job, great friends and above all else *Looks up to him* the most wonderful husband in the world.

Jaune: *pink, scratching his cheek* Hehehe, I’m just doing what I can. It's not a big deal.

Weiss: It is for me. . . .for someone who grew up in a cold house, surrounded by people I couldn't trust, having someone that I can trust and love this much is everything.

Jaune: Weiss. . . . .

Weiss: You never ignore me, you always know when I'm not okay, you look after my every need, you go above and beyond to make me happy, and you know me even better than I do myself. I must've been a saint in a past life to be blessed with someone so wonderful as you are. I wanna stay like this and hold on to you for the rest of my life. *Angelic smile* Thank you for marrying me, my love.

Jaune: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

-

Jaune: *naked on the bed and spooning her* God damnit. . . . .

Weiss: *sweaty and giggling*

Jaune: I can't believe I fell for that.

Weiss: Fell for what~? I was being honest, you know?

Jaune: I know! And that makes it even more of a dirty move!

Weiss: My heart bleeds for you.

Jaune: *groan* I was just a week away. I resisted everything you threw at me and this is how I lost?

Weiss: Yep. I thought there was no way out until a certain someone reminded me how weak you are to someone being genuinely emotional with you.

Jaune: It was Ruby wasn't it? Every time i have her favorite cookies she'll go on this emotional speech about how much it matters to her that i’m her best friend and all we went through, and when i realize i already gave her the cookies.

Weiss: I won't confirm nor deny anything.

Jaune: Ugh, figures.

Weiss: *turns to him* Oh please, you say it as if you didn't like it.

Jaune: Of course I did, I've been craving you for weeks.

Weiss: Good to hear, I felt the same.

Jaune: Just don't do that next year or I'm telling Blake about your secret costumes.

Weiss: You’re doing that again next year!?

Jaune: *chuckles* That's your main concern?

Weiss: Of course I am! These last three weeks have been hell!

Jaune: If that's the case. . . .*on top of her* Then let me take you to paradise.

Weiss: *pink* That wasn't enough for you?

Jaune: Nowhere near enough to make up for these three weeks. You gotta work Tomorrow?

Weiss: Not really, they have to fix the wall in my office so. . . . .

Jaune: Good. You won't have to make up an excuse then. Might need one for after tomorrow though.

Weiss: *red* . . . . . . .I’m in danger aren't i?

Jaune: The plan was to win the challenge and slowly ease back into routine. You tricked me into losing so now I’m giving you what you want, all of it.

Weiss: *redder* C-can we talk about this for a mome-AAHHHH~!?!?

[mcflymemes]

CHALLENGERS (2024) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary.

who says i want somebody to be in love with me?

i don't want to fuck you to prove a point.

fuck me because you want to.

are you gonna do it or not?

tastes even better than it looks.

i just told you i missed you.

i really want to kiss you right now, but i'm worried that if i try, you'll think i'm the worst friend in the world.

you know, it hurts me sometimes how little you believe in yourself.

decimate that little bitch.

let's be honest, you gotta feel bad for the kid.

you're not a spring chicken anymore.

dude. he's a pancake. you're gonna flatten him.

how's this feeling?

we're ready for you.

so obviously this isn't the result you wanted today.

you choked.

i don't want you to embarrass yourself.

i'm just a little rusty. it's a confidence thing.

get your fucking confidence back. i can't do it for you.

i'm so sick of you using this as an excuse to have a fucking meltdown.

you said we could watch a movie.

you're evil.

i'm gonna quiz you on it tomorrow.

sir, i don't know who you are.

i don't think we have much more to talk about.

i haven't spoken to you in five years.

i was just taking a little nap.

move, or i'm calling the cops.

you were really something back then, huh?

we always talked about how amazing it would be to win this together.

i'm a crazy person.

any predictions about how that's going to go?

can you do me a favor? can you not, like... demolish me tomorrow?

shut the fuck up.

if it matters to you so much, i can just give it to you.

i need it to look like i really beat you.

don't guilt me with your dying grandmother.

she's the hottest woman i've ever seen.

you were... fucking incredible.

baby, we've got to get going.

i'm not going to that party.

are you that threatened by me?

we can't both just go in there, dicks swinging.

i'd let her fuck me with a racket.

hey, do you smoke?

of course they will remember you.

see, that's your problem. you think you're like an artist or something.

you just want to win because you love it when people tell you how talented you are.

are you on facebook?

i told you tennis was boring.

you just got this crazy look on your face.

are you on a date?

i don't kiss and tell.

why did you want to have dinner with me?

i think you might be the worst friend in the world.

i didn't know you were so concerned about my feelings.

of course you still have a thing for her.

we just had what i'm assuming is the best sex of our lives.

i fucked your brains out?

what do you think you need? a cheerleader? a fuck buddy? a girlfriend?

you're talented, you're charming, and you've got a big dick.

excuse me for inconveniencing you.

don't expect to sleep here tonight.

stop going easy on me.

i'll be whatever you need me to be. i'll fuck off if you want me to.

i need you here, actually.

you're referring to when i declared my love for you.

you're not in love with me anymore?

i've been dreaming about this for five years.

i'm gonna propose something to you, and it's gonna make you angry. it's gonna make you very angry. but you have to hear me out, okay?

i'm finally ready to listen to you.

how dare you fucking ask me that.

do you think it's cute what you're doing? do you think it's funny?

that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard.

i've always wanted you.

you didn't do anything to me. i did it all to myself.

i think i've reached the limit of my willingness to have this conversation with you.

do you understand how embarrassing it is that you're here?

you've never beaten me.

tell me it doesn't matter.

will you just hold me?

i'm not here to fuck you.

i miss watching you play. you were so beautiful.

[genericpuff]

The Elephant in the Room - Queer Erasure and Westernization in Lore Olympus (and all its horrid stepchildren)

This is one people have been asking me for a while now, and I've been waiting for the right inspiration to hit, as is required for my ADHD hyperfixation-fueled rants. After recently watching a video that did an objective review of Cait Corrain's Crown of Starlight, I felt now was the time, because Crown of Starlight effectively proves exactly what Lore Olympus - and other Greek myth interpretations like it - has issues with.

And I want to preface this post with one question - why do we keep getting these Greek myth adaptations written by queer women that still wind up perpetuating toxic heteronormative culture?

Buckle up, because this one's HEFTY.

In that aforementioned review of A Crown of Starlight, there were a lot of points that came up about how Cait wrote the female protagonist - Ariadne, wife of Dionysus - where I immediately stopped and went, "Wait, this sounds awfully familiar."

It should be mentioned briefly for anyone who's unaware - Cait Corrain is an author who was recently (and still) under fire for using sock puppet accounts on GoodReads to intentionally sabotage the ratings of other debut authors, many of whom were her own peers or from the same publishing imprint as her (Del Rey), and most of whom were POC. I mentioned in that previous essay that I just linked that Cait Corrain is a fan of Lore Olympus and decided to give it 5 star ratings from these alt accounts, not just de-legitimizing the reputation of the books she bombed, but also the ones that she praised (including her own book, because of course she had to leave an obvious calling card LMAO). I felt it necessary to tie Cait into my discussion of white feminism in LO and its fanbase because people like Cait are exactly who we're talking about when we dissect the intent and consequences of LO's writing - much of its brand of "feminism" seems to only be catered to a specific kind of woman (i.e. white women who fetishize queer people/relationships) and seem to encourage/embrace violence towards women if those women aren't "behaving correctly" or just aren't fortunate enough to be white and rich - and so Cait choosing to give Lore Olympus 5 stars in her hate-raiding and even have it visibly in the background of her headshot photos was... not exactly disproving my argument that these are the types of people LO caters to and encourages, to say the least.

But then I watched Read with Rachel's "Did It Deserve 1 Star" review of Crown of Starlight and it cemented my assumptions and concerns regarding Cait's intentions and influences even more.

As a brief tangent, I've read A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Claire. It very obviously is using Lore Olympus as its blueprints, but it's not super obvious that if you didn't read Lore Olympus or weren't aware of it, you probably wouldn't notice. It's still not a great book on its own, it's riddled with writing problems, but at least it can call itself its own thing to some degree.

Crown of Starlight is just blatant Lore Olympus fanfiction pretending to be original, even down to its marketing (which I'll get to shortly) but swapping out Hades and Persephone with Dionysus and Ariadne, and setting the entire story in space. Why is it in space? There doesn't seem to be any actual necessary reason for this, it just is, go with it. I'd be willing to accept this because changing up the setting of pre-existing stories can be fun (god knows I loved the premise enough of Lore Olympus being a modern day Greek myth retelling that I had to go and make my own version of it that's still in that modern setting) but as RWR says in her review:

"... we're told that it's the 'island' of Crete, but then we talk about commbands, airlocks, [holo-shields] and it wasn't really written in a way that I felt meshed 'Greek retelling' and 'sci-fi' in a cohesive way."

Needless to say, Crown of Starlight unsurprisingly suffers from the same problems Lore Olympus does, where it will try to "subvert" the original myths by changing their setting and characters and then doing absolutely nothing interesting with them to justify those changes.

To really drive my point home that Crown of Starlight is undoubtedly Lore Olympus fanfiction, Lore Olympus was literally used as a comparison point in Crown of Starlight's marketing which is a fair tactic to use to advertise to a specific niche or demographic, and while some have argued that Cait isn't technically the one to come up with that marketing jargon, it's made much more clear that she used that comparison herself when writing and pitching the book because it is quite literally just Lore Olympus with a different couple in space, right down to the main female protagonist being part of a purity cult. And of course it wouldn't be a bad Wattpad romance if it didn't have our main female protagonist Ariadne talking about how inconvenient her MASSIVE BREASTS are and of COURSE Ariadne is a poor innocent uwu babygirl who needs a man to come in and rescue her from the evil purity cult and of COURSE it hints at them eventually having raunchy sex just for it to wind up being milquetoast bondage and of COURSE it all just winds up taking traditionally queer characters and stories and turning them into this sanitized Disney-esque plotline where the boy and girl were always meant to be together and nothing else matters except their love-

And that, at its core, really just screams "this is bad LO fanfiction". From the stylization of the book's writing which never outgrew its "adorkable fanfiction writing" phase-

"Realizing that I'm being gaslit by my entire world doesn't make it easier to deal with, but hey, at least I still have some part of my soul!" - an excerpt from Crown of Starlight quoted from RWR's review timestamp 13:03

-to the "creative" choices made to turn Ariadne into a chastity cult girl whose resolution is obviously going to be to have what's implied to be dirty raunchy sex just for it to be like... the most tame level one bondage stuff;

-to the classic "she breasted boobily down the stairs" focus on Ariadne's body and breasts and sex appeal that's being kept in check by that pesky purity club.

And that's really disappointing because I had seen people say, "Yeah, Cait did an awful thing and deserves to be removed from her publishing schedule, but it's a shame that that book was written by Cait because it's actually a really good book!" because now it's just making me even more sus of people's Greek myth adaption recommendations (I'm still mad at BookTok for convincing me that A Touch of Darkness was worth reading). All I could think while listening to some of the excerpts quoted by RWR was that if I didn't know about Cait Corrain and read Crown of Starlight blind, I'd undoubtedly assume it was being written by a heterocis guy... but it's in fact being written by a queer woman.

And this is where I segue into talking about the root of this problem, where the calls are really coming from - Lore Olympus and its erasure of queer identities and relationships, despite also being written by a queer woman who should know better.

I could think of no better character to help carry this essay than Eros.

Unlike many of the characters in LO that Rachel has managed to straightwash by changing their motives entirely or straight up changing their identity from the source material (ex. Zeus, Apollo, Crocus who was turned into a flower nymph, Dionysus and Achilles because they're both literally babies, the list goes on), Eros has largely remained the same on paper who had zero reason to not be queer within the story.

Eros is still the god of love in this, he's still a guy and presumed to be an adult, but we NEVER see or explore him having relationships with anyone other than Psyche, aside from a brief mention of organizing orgies in the beginning that's used as a quick joke and then promptly never mentioned again.

Just like with Crown of Starlight and A Touch of Darkness and all these other "dark romance" stories, it's that brand of "pretends to be sexually liberating but isn't actually" writing, where they'll briefly mention orgies or sex-related things and then beat around the bush or avoid involving them entirely like a kid at Sunday school who doesn't want to say the word "penis".

(fr out of all the corny and awful slang for genitals I've seen used in stories like this, "a certain part of my anatomy" is definitely one of the most boring and stupid, like for god's sakes Hades you're both adults and at the beginning of this comic you thought she wanted to bang in the kitchen, why are you suddenly talking like a 7 year old boy LOL)

All that aside, while Eros might still be hinted at being queer and sex-positive, it's only as vaguely as possible so that the story can quickly move on to focus on him and Psyche or, better yet, Hades and Persephone. When Eros isn't deadset on finding Psyche, he's being the gay best friend for Persephone, who he has NO right having a friendship with when he introduced himself by intentionally getting her as drunk as possible with the intent of dumping her in Hades' car as per his mom's command. It's brushed off later as "well Aphrodite maaade him do it, for Psycheee!" but Eros still agreed to potentially put Persephone in danger over a relationship that had NOTHING to do with her and was also mostly his fault in its fallout (which Artemis calls him out for, but of course, like all the other times characters have called out the actual issues in the story they're inhabiting, they get brushed aside so that Persephone can talk about Hades):

Now, the Eros and Psyche plotline is one I've talked about before here and not the focus of this essay so I'll keep this tangent brief, but it's absolutely wild to me that Rachel took a story about a woman going to the ends of the earth to prove her love for someone whose trust she broke (a common theme in a lot of Greek myth stories, such as the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice) and turned it into... woman of color gets turned into a nymph slave for Aphrodite to 'test' Eros, a test that isn't clear at all in what it's trying to achieve, and wait hold up, didn't Eros actually fail that test by kissing Ampelus while completely unaware that it was Psyche-

This is just that episode of Family Guy where Peter justifies emotionally cheating and eventually physically cheating on Lois because "well you were the phone sex lady the whole time so no harm done!", isn't it? (×﹏×)

Anyways. It's all very convenient that the comic will hint at queer rep just to either have it be a constant question of whether or not they're actually queer (ex. Morpheus) OR to have it be promptly swept under the rug to make way for other characters/plot points. It's like when mongie tried to be "inclusive" by writing a stereotypical vaguely Asian character with no specific ethnicity just to get angry at her fanbase for calling her out on this that you can't just call a vaguely Asian character "representation" of anything (because Asia is MASSIVE and covers so many different ethnicities and languages and cultures).

Eros is only as gay as he needs to be to fill the role of "gay best friend" for Persephone.

Krokos is no longer a male lover of Hermes but a flower nymph created by Persephone because... apparently we can't dare imply that Hermes would be into anyone besides his unrequited childhood love, Persephone.

Achilles is introduced as a baby even though it makes no sense in the comic's own timeline where Odysseus is presumably already a well-known hero in Olympus, so much so that he was invited to the Panathenea.

Apollo is turned into a flat-out rapist who's only concerned with getting Persephone at all costs and when that doesn't work, he tries to get ANOTHER flower nymph (Daphne) who's actually genuinely interested in him (contrary to the original myth, there's that "swap it subversion" Rachel is known for) to cut her hair so she'll resemble Persephone more because we can't have a single plot point not resolve around Persephone.

Despite there being loads of genderbent characters already, Morpheus is supposedly the only one we're supposed to assume is specifically trans and not just a gender-flipped version of a Greek myth character. Why? Not because Rachel stated so explicitly, not because the comic has actually explored her identity as a trans woman, but because the readers just assumed it in good faith and Rachel was clearly fine with taking credit for trans representation that's only there via assumption (and only confirmed via her mods in Discord, which is... not how you establish canon information in your comic, Rachel.)

Hestia and Athena are part of a chastity club, until uh oh how convenient that they're secretly in a relationship with each other even though it further vilifies them and their morals, particularly Hestia who was promptly called out for being a hypocrite for taking Persephone's coat gifted to her from Hades while secretly being in a relationship the whole time. Not only does the Hestia and Athena relationship manage to commit queer erasure - of two gods who are considered icons in the aroace communities - but it also makes the only two lesbians in the story come across as assholes AND ON TOP OF THAT ALSO manages to somehow invalidate queer sex and relationships as being legitimate due to the even deeper implication that breaking their chastity vows "doesn't count" because it's not a male x female relationship. It's the 'ole poophole loophole all over again.

And then there's Artemis, who has MORE REASON THAN EVER TO BE IN THE PLOT but keeps being conveniently ignored. Her finding out about Hestia and Athena doesn't get any more screentime than her going "oh you're in a relationship, okay" , we never see her question the true intentions of TGOEM or what it means to her, we never see her have any opportunity to carve out her identity beyond just being Apollo's twin sister (it tries to at times, but then immediately goes nowhere with it, amounting to just poetic word salad), and she really just comes across as what a lot of people assume aroace people to be - alone and standoffish, because obviously someone who's nice and a good person would be in a relationship, there has to be a reason they don't want to have sex or fall in love, and that reason obviously has to be that they just hate everyone and want to be alone forever (￢_￢;) Then again, like many of the queer characters in LO, I don't know if I can definitively call her aroace because it's kept as vague as possible, and - going by Rachel's answers to these questions way back in her Tumblr era - apparently people can't be gay and ace at the same time-

There are undoubtedly loads more examples that I could cover here but that goes for practically any essay I write about LO - the more you peel it apart, the more you start unearthing some really questionable and frankly mean-spirited stuff. Queer people feel largely ignored in LO, alongside many of its derivative offspring such as A Touch of Darkness and Crown of Starlight, and it really speaks to how so many people - queer women, no less - have somehow managed to bastardize and sanitize what were traditionally very queer stories with queer characters. It's like these people think "olden times" and can only get as far as "women were slaves and men were rich assholes". Like, yeah, okay, that was the case for many cultures, but not all of them, and for some of them it wasn't as clear cut as that, many had misogynist power struggles in them while also still celebrating women and queer people in their own way. Greek myth is full of stories of women being forced into marriage or being made the victims of assault, but many of them are supportive of women and their struggles, unlike works like LO that somehow manage to be less feminist and sympathetic to women and queer people than these works from thousands of years ago.

This is another topic that's surely meant for another post, but it really speaks not only to the straightwashing and whitewashing of Greek myth, but also the Westernizing of it. That's not to say Rachel Smythe and Cait Corrain and Scarlett St. Claire are intentionally trying to whitewash another culture's works here, but if you're raised predominantly on Western media, you're undoubtedly going to absentmindedly adopt ideas about society that are primarily molded around Western beliefs .

And this is apparent in LO, while Rachel is from New Zealand, you can tell she grew up on a lot of Western media and its influences are sorely showing through LO's worldbuilding, character designs, and narrative choices. That "modern setting" that I mentioned before is much less Greek and a lot more adjacent to The Kardashians which lends to the theories that most of the media that Rachel consumes is American. Rather than actually going to the effort of doing her research on Greek culture, she seems to just prefer defaulting to the easiest assumption of how modern society is across the board - a generic Los Angeles clone with big glass skyscrapers and pavement walkways. She rarely ever draws food or clothing from those time periods; despite this story being about gods she's spent so little time on the people who passed on the stories about those gods, the mortals, and the gods themselves rarely feel like gods, rather just like Hollywood celebrities covered in body paint. The clothing feels very generic and uninspired with often very little Greek influence, even though Greek clothing is designed around Mediterranean living which you could do a lot with, to such an egregiously Western degree that Hades and Persephone's wedding was Christian-coded. The food... well, there ISN'T any because as we've seen, like the stereotypical American child, Persephone apparently only wants chicken nuggies and Skittles for dinner, so we never see her eat; and not only do we not see Persephone eat, but Rachel weirdly tries to use Persephone's vegetarianism as some kind of anti-capitalist characterization when much of the Greek diet is predominantly vegetarian. It's NOT HARD or uncommon to be a vegetarian in Greece!

(it looks like they're literally all eating the same thing so IDK what Hera is referring to here, it looks like they're all eating toast and lettuce LMAO)

All that's to say, much of LO - and the books like it that I've gone over here - are written with this idea that every culture - including the one that it's trying to adapt - was subject to the same ideas that Western culture lives by in the modern day - that being a vegetarian is "counterculture" in every culture, that the notion of sexual purity is enforced in the same way it's enforced in the Western education system (cough Christianity cough), that queer or otherwise "unconventional" relationships should stay inside the bedroom and not be seen. As much as Rachel claims she wants to "fight the patriarchy" and "deconstruct purity culture", all she winds up doing is reinforcing it through a Westernized lens, which is, as I've talked about before, very indicative of right-leaning white feminism and what it embraces and promotes - being a "good woman" who follows the rules and willingly becomes part of the system that's oppressing them because that's what "good women" do. Women who are confidant in their sexuality are evil and should be shunned for being "sluts". Women who are in relationships with other women "don't count" as real relationships the same way heteronormative relationships do, and cannot be trusted because they're likely trying to spread an agenda that's designed to brainwash heterocis women. Women should only aim to achieve marriage and their entire personality has to be built around their true love. Women are allowed to be kinky, but only as kinky as roleplaying the exact same gender structures that puts the man in a position to dominate a woman, and it should always and only ever be with her first love who she marries immediately, no one else.

This is exactly what the critics are getting at when they hold LO - and its creator - accountable for the messages it's been sending for five years to its audience of middle aged women and young girls. Having a demographic is fine, if this were just a comic for girls it would be fine, but it becomes a lot more problematic when that demographic is being fed toxic power fantasy stories based on a culture that's being gentrified and sanitized of all its original messaging and characterization right before our eyes. It feels blatantly misinformed from the very beginning in its intention to be a "feminist retelling" of Greek myth, because somehow Lore Olympus manages to be less feminist than these stories drafted and written by men from 2000+ years ago.

I opened this essay with a question: why do we keep getting these Greek myth adaptations written by queer women that still wind up perpetuating toxic heteronormative culture?

I think cases like these really highlight how deep the heteronormative brainwashing from childhood onward goes. That, despite these writers being queer or women, still manage to reinforce the same ideas and tropes and harmful predisposed notions that were designed to be used explicitly against queer people and women. These are things that we can't ever stop challenging, and asking, and truly deconstructing, because it runs deep in many of us who grew up on popular media even as innocent as Disney. Learning about more complex social concepts like sexism and misogyny and queerphobia doesn't automatically absolve us of those very same biases that have been both blatantly and subtly ingrained into us since childhood. All that said, Rachel being bisexual does not mean she's not capable of straightwashing; Cait Corrain being a queer debut author with a POC main character didn't stop them from targeting other POC debut authors at their own imprint; being part of any minority group or identifier does not automatically protect you from perpetuating the cycle that you, too, likely had enforced upon you at some point or another in your life. The fact that these creators and writers are still perpetuating that cycle to begin with is indicative of why it's a cycle at all - it takes work to break on a subconscious level because those cycles are specifically designed to target and hijack the subconscious.

At its worst, do you really think Lore Olympus can claim to be a feminist retelling that's "deconstructing purity culture" when the creator herself admittedly never fully identified or understood sexism until her mid-30's and has the audacity to say her audience is "harsh" on the female characters that she constantly vilifies through her own narrative?

"I feel like female characters in general, people will be a little harsher on them and sometimes way harsher on them, and I used to be like.. before I started writing the story and like making a story I was like yeah, sexism is not that bad, and [now] I was like oh it's bad. It's quite bad [laughs], so like, I don't know, I feel like the female characters in the story don't get so much of a pass. But this isn't consistent across the board, it's not all the time" - Rachel Smythe, in an interview with Girl Wonder Webtoon Podcast

If Lore Olympus truly was just a series meant to be for fun "no thoughts head empty" drama and spice, that would be fine. I've said it time and time before on this blog and I'll say it again: I wouldn't have an issue if Rachel was just writing a story exclusively revolving around heterocis men and women. I'm just frustrated and tired and annoyed that she keeps lying about it, and doubly so that this comic and its creator who claim to be "feminist" have inspired other people in the same headspace to continue to perpetuate that cycle through works that are clearly inspired by LO and never challenged the things LO promoted - violence towards "unconventional" women, violence towards POC, and erasure of queer people. And worst of all, for writers like Cait Corrain, it's more than just writing a really bad book with really bad messaging, it's going so far as intentionally targeting those same groups of people that are regularly vilified in works like LO - people who are just existing, who don't pose a threat to anyone, but had the misfortune of becoming the target of a white woman's insecurity.

I don't know what the answer to this problem is. I don't know what form the solution will come in, if any, to address the ongoing issues with Greek myth adaptions that are being sorely written through an "America as the default" point of view and praised for "rewriting the script of Greek mythology", quite literally cultural appropriation happening live right before our eyes all for the sake of cheap entertainment. Maybe it'll take the failings of works like Crown of Starlight to really get people talking about it. But so long as the roots of these works - such as Lore Olympus - are still being protected and marketed en masse by the same kinds of people who don't see the issue in Americanizing other cultures and their stories, then Lore Olympus and Crown of Starlight will not be the last ones to cause harm to the source material - and the cultures that source material is born from and a part of - they're taking from.

I opened this post with a question, and I'm going to close it with another to really leave it as food for thought. That question comes from another video that I'll link here for you to watch at your convenience that spends even more time diving into and discussing the nature of works like this that have seemingly attempted to "deconstruct" the very dogmas that they still wind up reinforcing all the same.

Does the romance genre have a white supremacy problem?

(yes. yes, it does.)

[vigilskeep]

I was stalking your blog when I saw some comments I can't find the answer for. Can I ask why you hate Celene? It's been a while since I played inquisition, but I remembered talk of her as fairly glowing. Is it the vague breakup with Briala? Is it that she's Orlesian (derogatory) and/or responsible for horrible stuff the state did, or what? Is it book stuff?

To be clear you have my sword either way but I'd like to know what we're fighting against (re: editing my worldstate).

her breakup with briala is significantly less vague in the book the masked empire, which covers a lot of celene, briala, and gaspard backstory

HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD: after promising briala could try to resolve an elven rebellion peacefully, when celene’s political reputation needed a rescue, celene set fire to the alienages of halamshiral, killing countless elves, and sparing only briala, who she had arrested by the chevaliers. of her plans for briala afterwards, she says: “It would have been a locked suite in the palace for a few years, nothing more! It would have changed nothing for us.” and then when briala says, okay fuck that, what about the people you burned, she adds something horrible about briala having the “luxury” to mourn while the poor empress who murdered the people in the first place doesn’t. at the very end of the book, briala also discovers that it was celene all along who had murdered her parents for political gain, and this happened when they were much younger, when celene was in the process of becoming empress, iirc. celene let briala serve her in all things, kill for her, risk life and limb for her vision of maybe letting an elf or two into orlais’ universities, wake her up every morning by pouring her a cup of tea and preparing her daily gown while celene lovingly reminisces about all the cruel things about briala having dark hair instead of blonde (read: about briala being a woman of colour) that celene herself used to say as a child before recognising the “value” of briala’s loyalty... and the whole time, she had murdered briala’s parents to get ahead. because she decreed it was worth it, for her vision of the empire

i really wish they had covered more of this during wicked eyes & wicked hearts, though i suppose in several ways it makes sense for the inquisitor not to be able to learn all of this. still, they diminish a lot to make the choices seem like roughly equal options, and to make reconciling briala and celene viable. (you’d think at least the alienage burnings would be public knowledge? iirc they really censor what briala can tell you to make it sound like a personal lovers’ spat and not what it is, or like the arrest was the main problem or something.) it does make me feel a little ill. thankfully, celene can still die!

anyway even in dai you’d think if she was as good an empress as they keep telling you she is, there wouldn’t be, you know... a civil war on? save yourself from assassination then if you’re soooo good at the game lmao. go on we’re all waiting

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Changes

What do you do when the person you once were becomes the person you miss being the most?

Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Jungkook's ex wife, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, fluff, flirty Jungkook, no smut in this I'm sorry pls still read it :( there's some tension tho!!

Length: 6.5k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

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"Thanks for picking him up." Taehyung sighs, his son happily in the living room, taking a nap from school as he tucks himself in on the couch while his favorite show plays on the TV.

"I would've asked her, you know, but I feel like I'm relying too much on her again." The young father sighs. "I'm basically treating her the same as I did years ago, just without the pay."

"I heard about that." Jungkook says, drinking his coffee at the kitchen table where he sits across Taehyung. "She used to nanny while you lived separately from your wife, I think it was." He hums, setting his cup down. Jungkook isn't on bad terms with Taehyung's wife- but he tends to not say her name, because he honestly harbors quite a bit of distaste towards the woman who refuses to properly take care of her own child.

"Well don't you seem to know a bit about her now." Taehyung squints his eyes in suspicion. "What happened to 'she's too young for me anyways' huh?" He teases, and Jungkook sighs.

"Well, things.. happened. And we talked." He shrugs. "We're not.. really a couple, but we agreed to spend time with one another." He explains.

"So you're friends with benefits?" He wonders, drinking his tea while Jungkook leans back.

"No." He shakes his head, even though deep down, it does kind of feel like that to him, now that he thinks about it a bit more. "It's.. a bit more complicated than that. We're simply talking, seeing where it goes." He says.

"Hmhm." Tae nods. "Just don't break her heart. I still got basically nightmares from her last relationship." He mumbles a bit angrily to himself, clearly a bit irritated even just by the thought of it.

"I.. wondered what happened." Jungkook says. "Dae said he was a drinker?" He wonders, and Taehyung nods.

"Drinker, druggie, abusive asshole." He huffs, crossing his arms. "It's the main reason she moved away when Daehyun was younger. She wanted to protect him- make sure he won't get hurt."

"Was he violent?" Jungkook wants to know, because honestly, he has a hunch that that might've been the case. Taehyung seems on edge now, clearly torn between probably saying the truth, and respecting your privacy. "I was intending to ask her anyways. But she seems like the type to downplay her problems in order to make things seem less serious, so I thought you might be more honest." He adds.

"Yeah, she is like that." Tae agrees softly. "I'm not too sure what exactly went down. But I do know that she.. distanced herself out of fear that Daehyun might get hurt." He tells his friend. "Greg started to pick her up every time she'd babysit Daehyun at my house, even after I told him I didn't like that. He still did, still argued, turned up drunk multiple times at my doorstep." The young father remembers. "I kept her with me, of course. I'd never let her drive home with that alcoholic- but I guess something must've happened because she just.. suddenly cut contact." He shrugs. "Sent me a text, changed her number, moved out her old apartment."

"When did she come back?" Jungkook wonders.

"According to Yoongi, a few weeks before the aftershow party." Taehyung responds.

"So that's why you didn't recognize her?" He figures, and Tae nods.

"She changed a lot. Not just visually. She's.." His eyes lower to the cup in his hand. "..a lot more quiet. Cautious. Jumpy." He informs his friend. "And at the same time, she seems to mask a lot of it- get's irritated easily. She's trying to be who she was, but it's obvious that something changed, and whenever someone notices, she becomes defensive."

Jungkook doesn't really know what to think. Looking at Daehyun on the couch, he can absolutely understand your standpoint back then to get away from Taehyung's family in order to protect them- but that means there must have been at least some form of fear against your former partner to make you believe that he could potentially be a danger to the young boy and his father. It could also just be jealousy, of course- but Taehyung is right. You are a little odd sometimes.

And he doesn't know if he wants to know exactly why, or if he wants to let sleeping dogs rest.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Jungkook leans back in his office chair, headache already almost too unbearable to him, especially considering the woman who's making her way up in the giant corporate building to see him.

She wants money again, he knows it. Evelyn only ever visits him if there's something she wants, after all.

"One might argue they'd know me by now." Evelyn huffs as she enters the office, hair a bit wet as she throws her coat over the chair in front of his desk, before she sits down. "How're you doing?" She wonders, and Jungkook doesn't look away from his laptop's screen whatsoever, still looking through his e-mails. He doesn't have to put too many thoughts into this conversation after all- she's most likely just here to leech off of him again.

"Cut it." He simply says. "What do you want?" He asks, phone on his desk vibrating and chiming with a new notification.

'I can just drop something off for you? I just got off work myself, so it's no hassle.' your message reads, an answer to a former rant from him about his headache, and the fact that he's 'locked in like a dog' in his office and without any proper food ever since this morning. It makes him softly smile a little, the fact that you want to bring him something to eat even though you're probably exhausted from your shift as well is something he's not used to. And he didn't even have to ask for it.

'Only if it's really not an issue for you' his answer reads, and you send a thumbs-up emoji as an answer, before you finish typing your proper answer.

'DW, is anything okay or do you want something specific?' you question, and he immediately types a response.

'Just whatever, really. Nothing too spicy though, please.' he offers, when a hand knocks on the table in front of him, the woman in his office dragging him back into reality with force. He signs, locks his phone before he puts it down, opening a chat with the front desk downstairs to let them know to bring you up when you arrive.

"You know, this was always the issue, Jungkook." Evelyn whines, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed. "You're so consumed by your work, it's crazy." She shakes her head.

"That wasn't work, actually." He bites back with a monotone voice, not really offering her any emotion whatsoever- there's nothing left in him anymore he could offer anyways. She took it all, sucked it out of him like an insect, and now she's constantly upset that he's empty inside.

"Anyways, I got this letter recently stating that there was an issue with the bank transfer?" She says, giving him the letter to read- which he does, flying over it just to remember why that bank transfer did not go through. "I told them that they'll get their money by friday." She hums, leaning her face on her palm while he gives her the letter back.

"What do I have to do with it then?" He asks, and she sits upright again, tilting her head a bit in irritation. "You said they'll get their money by friday. Good. Why are you here then?" He asks, arms crossed, office chair squeaking a bit as he leans back into it.

"Well, it's your bank account!" She laughs a bit unsure. "I don't even know why there was apparently not a sufficient balance on it." She argues.

"I resigned the automatic transfer rights." Jungkook tells her, face not moving an inch as he breaks the news. "The letter doesn't mention an insufficient balance at all, Evelyn. It states that there's no bank account set for the automated transfer option at all." He informs her.

"What the fuck Jungkook?!" She barks. "And you didn't even tell me?!" She yells, standing up to slap her hands on his desk. "You can't just make these changes and not inform me about it! Do you know how expensive that was?!" She accuses, and he shrugs, noticing something move behind her, milky glass front of his office hiding what's going on inside and outside, only letting shadows be seen if someone's close enough. "I'll text you the invoice later, and you better fucking pay, you asshole!" She says, when she whips her head around, someone opening the glass door.

"Thanks." You tell the office lady having let you in, before your eyes widen, door closing behind you and instantly drowning out all noise except the very slight sound of the fan in the corner of the room.

"Ah, there you are." Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling a lot lighter as he looks at you. "Come here- is it still raining a lot?" He wonders easily, taking the white plastic bag from you to set it on his table, before giving you a small hug to greet you. "I think that was all you wanted, wasn't it?" He asks Evelyn, who hasn't even gotten up from her seat, instead clearly studying you now.

"Actually, no." She tells him. "And it's kind of private, so it would be real nice if your assistant would leave." She tells you with a smile that reminds you of a snarling dog.

"Then come back a different day." Jungkook answers her however, offering to take your coat from you to hang next to his own on the wall close to the large windows. "Right now I'm really not in the mood for whatever it might be. Especially not with my girlfriend in the room." He bluntly says, and something seems to flash over her face at the mention of your alleged role in his life.

She slowly stands up to take her coat from the back of the chair, movements a lot slower now, a glare sent into your direction. "Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart." Evelyn tells you, slipping into the sleeves of her coat. "His first love will always stay his job." She almost threatens, before she takes her purse and leaves through the door, leaving a confused you, and a clearly exhausted Jungkook behind.

"Please, sit down." He offers, and you do so, watching how he leans back in his chair, hands running over his face before he sits up again. "I'm sorry. That timing couldn't have been worse." He sighs.

"Ah, here. Do you have water here?" You wonder, and he nods, pointing towards a water dispenser in the room. "Oh, fancy." You laugh, walking up to fill a cup to put in front of him. "I take them myself, they usually help really quickly. Not trying to murder you." You tease, and he chuckles, taking the medication and the cup for himself.

"Thank you, really." He sighs out before taking the pill, washing it down with half of the cup's contents before he closes his eyes for a moment. "God I hate her so much." He suddenly breaks out laughing, before he shakes his head, digging through what you've bought for him.

"I assume that was your ex wife?" You wonder, and he nods.

"I'm also really sorry for telling her you're my girlfriend when we haven't even talked about that yet." He tells you a bit.. shyly almost, while you pull the bag closer to take something out for yourself.

"It's fine." You shrug. "Got a nice ring to it, you know?" You joke, and he smiles, starting to eat.

It's quiet, but not oddly so. He enjoys this a lot, this company without any pressure, no eerie sense of something being about to happen. You're clearly here because you want to be, there's nothing you want from him, nothing you need, nothing you could gain from this. It's just what it is, nothing else, nothing to red between the lines.

"You can ask why she was here, by the way." He offers you, wiping his mouth with a tissue.

"I don't have to know." You say, however. "It's got nothing to do with me- right?" You ask, and he nods. "Then it's none of my business. You can rant to me about it, sure, but I can't really give you any opinions on it since I don't really know her, or the situation around you and her." You tell him.

Jungkook watches you for a moment, before he nods. "You're right." He agrees, letting go of the topic entirely for now. He know it's only fair to talk to you about it at some point- but right now is not the time for that, he decides. "Do you want me to drive you home later? I really only have to answer this one E-mail and then I can clock out." He tells you between bites, wiping his fingers before he taps away on his keyboard.

"If it's not a bother, sure." You shrug. "You said you got the weekend off, right?" You ask him, and he nods a bit absentmindedly. "Then how about you stay over?" You ask, and that definitely seems to catch his attention.

"Stay over?" He asks, just to make sure he heard it correctly, and you nod.

"Yeah." You nod. "It's, you know, what boyfriends do with their girlfriends." You tease, making him roll his eyes. "We could cook something, watch a movie. Oh, and one of the lightbulbs in my kitchen broke, so maybe you could fix that for me?" You chirp, and he suddenly smiles brightly to himself, clicking something on his laptop before he shuts it down. "What's that grin for, mister?" You ask, and he just shakes his head.

"Nothing, really." He tells you. "I'm just really happy." He confesses, and you smile the same, now a bit shy.

"Well, what's your answer then?" You wonder, watching him pack the leftovers back into the bag, before he walks to get both his and your jackets, helping you into yours.

"My answer is yes." He says, voice very close to your ear as he leans over your shoulder from behind you, hands on your arms for a second. "I'd love to stay over and fix that lightbulb too, of course.-"

"Since I heard that's what boyfriends do with their girlfriends."

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"There we go." He says, slowly climbing down the plastic kitchen chair you're holding onto just in case. "Anything else while I'm here?" He genuinely asks, and you shake your head, moving the chair back to the small kitchen table.

"No, that was all. Thank you, really." You say, before you move to open the fridge, taking out some things while he stands around with his hands in his pockets. Your apartment is pretty small- living in it together with you would most likely prove to be way too much, but he still thinks it's better than his own, in terms of.. quality.

His own home feels empty. There's nothing in it, it's way too big for a single person, and the view from so high up above the clouds has long lost it's charm to him.

He sits down at the kitchen table, leaning on it a little as he watches you wash some vegetables before you grab a cutting board and a knife. "Daehyun said you're a little lonely without your dog." He says, and you giggle a little, smiling to yourself. "Have you considered getting another one?" He wonders, but you just shrug.

"I'm too busy at the moment." You deny. "I used to bring him to work with me, since he was a very quiet and calm dog, which fit perfect into our office." You remember. "He'd always sleep under my desk, right on my feet. Always kept them warm." You softly say, and he notices that he might've struck a still hurtful topic if only from the sound of your voice becoming somewhat tighter.

"I can imagine. I always wanted a dog too-" He sighs, leaning back. "But.. Evelyn, the woman you saw today, she doesn't like them. So it was out of the question."

"Really?" You wonder, cutting up the vegetables. "I mean, I guess, if both of you were really busy then it probably was for the best." You hum, tension leaving you again. "Gotta look at the bigger picture."

"Yeah, maybe it was for the best." He agrees. To be honest, Evelyn would've probably fought over the dog as well, just like she did over the apartment, and other more petty things like fucking furniture. She wanted to ruin him, if financially then emotionally, and somehow, she somewhat did.

It's quiet again, when you, surprisingly to him, cut into a topic he did not expect.

"His name was Greg." You say, filling a small pot with water before you place it on the stove, turning it on. "You probably talked about him with Taehyung."

"I did." He admits. "But there's not much I know." He offers. "And like you said about my situation, I don't have to know about things that don't concern me. However-" He begins, getting up to now stand closer, find your gaze that's turned downwards onto the cutting board. "-I don't want to accidentally do something that might make you uncomfortable due to past experiences." He says.

"What a tactful way to ask me if I've got any trauma from that guy." You chuckle, moving to put the cut up vegetables in a bowl before you continue the preparations for dinner.

"I'm trying to be gentle here." He attempts to lighten up the mood, and you indeed smile at that.

"And I'm very thankful for that." You offer him, before you sigh, setting down the knife. "I don't.. think we're at a point where I should be dumping all of what happened onto you." You inform him, and he nods, accepting that. "I don't like yelling. If I feel uncomfortable, I'll probably try and get myself out of a situation by any means necessary-" you admit, turning a little to look at him. "-and that will probably include some nasty words thrown your way, if that get's you away from me." You tell him. "And I don't like alcohol. Even if you hand me full on medical evidence that you can't even get drunk, the moment I smell it- I just can't trust you." You say, and he nods.

"Alright, I respect that." He nods.

"I'll also get pretty clingy over time." You add on, making him nod. "And I can be annoying. I'll text you a lot." You continue, and a small smile sneaks itself onto his lips as he shrugs, crossing his arms. "The moment you invite me into your home I'll practically steal half of your closet contents-"

"Is that what he told you?" He wonders, and you grow quiet, eyes avoiding him. "I'm obsessed with my work." He begins his own rant, standing up to walk closer to you. "I never have time for anything else. I'm boring. Sometimes rude, and immature. I'm a perfectionist, but I'm also lazy. I snore, and I work out too much to the point where I'm sweating buckets. I'm a little messy." He tells you, hugging you from behind, though not very intimately- giving you a clear way out if you so want to.

"…is that what she told you?" You answer, and he smiles.

"Let's just agree on getting to know each other just the way we are, not the way someone else described us in the past." He offers, and you nod.

"Alright." You hum, before you push him a little playfully. "Now go and let me cook in here, boyfriend." You tease, making him grin impishly, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he does not walk away from behind you, hands now flat on your ass. "Hey!"

"What? I'm out of your way like this." He tells you almost innocently, hands moving to hold your waist now.

"Sit down there and let me cook!" You laugh.

"But we wanted to cook together, no?" He wonders. "Like.. boyfriend and girlfriend." He leans his chin on your shoulder.

"Well, boyfriends let their girlfriends cook in peace." You threaten, making him chuckle as his fingers squeeze your hips a bit.

"Not if their girlfriend is this attractive." He purrs, making you roll your eyes.

"Jungkook…" You wonder, suddenly way more serious, making his stand up straight again so you can face him. "Is.. that what we are now?" You ask, and his lips part for a second, unsure of his own answer. "I mean, it's fine if we're just playing around. Just.. I'm scared that we might end up in some.. unnecessary drama down the line if we're blurring the lines too much without properly discussing things first." You say.

"What do you mean?" He asks, and you sigh.

"What if you end up calling me.. your girlfriend just as a joke? But I start believing it at some point- thinking we are something serious when we're not. Or the other way around." You explain. "I don't want us to get hurt again. Neither of us."

Jungkook takes a deep breath, and from this close proximity, you can make out two odd dots near his bottom lip you're not too sure of. You might ask him about them some other time.

"Let me take time off of work. Next week, three days." He offers, catching you off guard. "Let's go on a trip. Together. Someplace no one knows us, and we don't know either." He tells you.

"I mean- I would've had friday and the weekend off anyways but-"

"Okay, great, perfect. I'll cancel my Friday meetings." He tells you, hands moving- at first, they seem to attempt to hold your cheeks- but it's like that feels too intimate yet, so he settles for your shoulders. "Let's get to know each other. The real you and me that got.. buried at some point." He offers.

"Why on a trip?" You ask.

"Because it's perfect." He chuckles. "Close proximity of the hotel room we'll share, stress of navigating the unfamiliar environment, the tension of not being able to just 'escape' any uncomfortable situation right away forcing us to talk things out as they happen-" He begins, and your mouth shapes an 'o' as you realize what he's talking about.

"It's a stress-test." You say, and he nods, grinning.

"Exactly." He nods.

"…to be honest you're already stressing me out." You jokingly reply-

Jungkook laughing, and you have a feeling he's not done that in a long time, with the way his ears turn red and his hand covers his mouth in embarrassment of that outburst.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

When Taehyung opens the door, he instantly greets his son who Jungkook has put down the moment he'd noticed the young father arriving at the front door to let him in.

"Oh wow." Taehyung laughs as Jungkook walks in, almost nervously running a hand through his hair. "Is the world ending? Apocalypse? Or am I high?" He jokes, making Jungkook roll his eyes. "No, seriously! I didn't even know you could still put those piercings back in!" He laughs, taking Dae's school backpack to take out his lunchbox so he can sort out the leftovers and wrappers from his snacks.

"It was a bit tricky, I won't lie." He laughs a little. "But they didn't really close all that much since I had them for so long, so it wasn't a big deal." He shrugs.

"What's the occasion?" Tae wonders, throwing the wrappers of Daehyun's snacks in the trash. "You most certainly don't look like you're gonna go to a meeting like that. What happened to 'I'm not in my twenties anymore' huh?" He jokes.

"I'm honestly not sure." He answers, hands in the pockets of his pants. "Just.. felt like it. And I'm not going to the office- I took time off." He confesses.

"Okay, are you running a fever?" Taehyung asks, and Jungkook laughs to himself. "Are you gonna meet up with your.. friend?" He air-quotes, and Jungkook nods, checking the silver watch on his wrist.

"Yeah- we're meeting up later, she's currently packing her things last thing she texted me." He nods. "Our flight is in about three hours from now, but it's her first time flying, so we wanted to be there a bit early just in case." Jungkook shrugs.

"Oh, fancy." Taehyung laughs. "Why though?" He wonders, washing the colorful lunchbox of his son in the sink.

"Stress testing." Jungkook offers. "We just want to see if we can handle each other under pressure." He says, and Taehyung sighs.

"My god Jungkook, can you just once try and not make everything more complicated than it has to be?" He worries. "Just spend time with her. Go out for a coffee or something, watch a shitty movie at home and let her suck you off during the commercial break or something, you know, like NORMAL people!" He whines. "You're acting as if this is some million-dollar business discussion. It's really not." He huffs out in frustration. "Listen, I know Eve fucked you over bad, and honestly you've always had a shit-taste in women to begin with because holy fuck if I think back to Lucy-"

"Can you get to the point?" Jungkook complains, a little embarrassed as his friend brings up his admittedly terrible dating history.

"-yeah, sorry." He laughs. "But, trust me-" Taehyung says, drying his hands before he puts them on his friend's shoulders. "-she's honestly perfect for you. Once you help her get her confidence back up, trust me, you've got yourself someone who's not a raging cunt for once." He finishes his rant, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"You think?" He worries, and Taehyung nods.

"I do." He says, patting his friend's back before he leads him to his front door. "Be yourself. And I mean, your real self. Be that goofy dude who cries during disney movies and folds his laundry to Depeche Mode at 3 am."

"Why would I do that?" Jungkook cringes, thinking his friend is joking- but he's surprised to find Taehyung with a soft gaze instead, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"Because that's the Jungkook I know." He offers, a somber look on his face.

"And I miss him."

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"Let me take that." He offers, taking the suitcase from you. It's small, scratched up, and he can't help but notice the stickers on it. "You good to go?" He wonders, and you nod, closing the door before locking it, walking next to him out the apartment building towards his by now familiar car, his own luggage already in the trunk where he puts yours now as well.

The moment you sit next to him inside, is when you notice how.. different he is today. Not only from looks alone- but it feels different, oddly enough. Lighter. Not as serious as he usually is. "I wondered what those.. spots were." You say, looking at him from the passenger side, and he raises his brows while stopping at a red light, turning his head towards you, who points to your own lower lip.

"Ah, yeah." He chuckles, a bit bashful. "I.. got them done in my early twenties. Took them out though, because.. I don't know." He shrugs.

"You don't know, of do you just realize that the reason was stupid?" You giggle, and he sighs, with a smile on his lips however.

"Caught me." He confesses, changing lanes as he makes his way to the airport.

"Why'd you put them back in?" You ask, leaning against the car door a bit.

"Because I wanted to be myself." He explains. "I.. like I said. I want you to get to know me. And not the person I became to please others around me." He tells you.

"I assume your.. ex wife didn't like the piercings?" You ask, testing how far you can pry into his past and how much you can poke until he tells you off. But much to your surprise, he seems rather unfazed by the topic.

"She hated my tattoos as well. Wanted me to get them removed constantly." He chuckles, and you're intrigued.

"You've got tattoos as well?" You ask, and he nods.

"Maybe I'll let you see them later?" He flirts, and you grin to yourself, adjusting your legs a little as you stay quiet. "Either way, Evelyn didn't like a lot about me."

"Then why did she marry you?" You ask, noticing too late how mean that question could come off.

"Probably for my bank account." He simply laughs. "I was.. stupid. I thought she was fixing me." He shakes his head. "I thought she only had my best interest in mind." He says, setting his turn lights to enter the airport parking area. "But she always hated me. Still does." He sighs, searching for a proper parking spot.

"Well, I don't hate you." You tell him.

"Yet." He mumbles, before he finally parks the car, turning off the engine. "Do you have your passport and everything on hand? Don't wanna have to unpack everything in a rush later at check-in." He tries to change the topic, but you look at him with eyes so soft that he becomes scared of them.

"Jungkook." You say his name, and he hates how kind it sounds. "As long as you're not like him, I won't hate you. Honestly, I don't even hate him." You tell him, and he nods a bit stiffly, before practically escaping the car, instead putting on his jacket before helping you take out your suitcase and handbag.

Inside the airport, he notices your nervousness, hand constantly reaching out but never holding on to him at all, in any way. It makes him chuckle a little as he watches you fight with yourself for quite a while, before he helps you check in.

You're clearly a bit overstimulated by everything going on around you, looking around anxiously, biting the inside of your lips constantly, even as you both sit down to wait for your gate to open for boarding. "Hey-" He reaches out to tug your lip from your teeth with his thumb, before he smiles in reassurance. "Okay?" He wonders, and you nod, though you're not looking at him. "Come here. You can hold onto me, by the way, if that helps you." Jungkook suggests, and you move your arms to wrap around one of his, body scooting closer to lean your face against his shoulder, sweater soft against your skin. He moves his arm around your shoulders to keep you closer, hand offering itself for you to hold instead, and you do so, fingers cold. "What's that scar?" He wonders, thumb running over a faint scar over the palm of your hand.

"A shoelace." You say, a little quietly.

"A shoelace?" He repeats, and you nod.

"Yeah." You confirm. "I had.. I was in the midst of changing the laces of.. Gregory's boots, because the dog had chewed them. But he got mad anyways, and pulled them out of my hand." You remember. "It happened really quickly, but I remember that it hurt badly." You chuckle. "It was an odd pain. Like my body couldn't decide whether or not I was burned or cut."

Jungkooks hand on your shoulder starts to move a little in a soothing motion, fingers circling around. It's his first confirmation that something did indeed happen, and he's almost convinced that what you just told him was probably not an isolated incident, but simply one of many that went down during your entire relationship.

"I didn't want him to get mad at Yogi. He already hated the poor dog enough." You sigh, closing your eyes as you settle against Jungkook's side. He enjoys this close proximity, the domestic feel of this moment, even though it's out in public and for everyone to see. He doesn't care.

"You can heal with me, you know?" He says, and you look up at him from where you're leaning against his body. "I can't promise you that.. our time spent will be all smooth sailing, but I can assure you that it will be nothing like what you've experienced." He hums towards you.

And you smile warmly, sighing. "Don't worry-" you giggle, closing your eyes.

"-It already is."

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

The hotel room is spacious, expensive looking, nothing like you've seen before.

Usually, you only really get to see things like these on vacation photos your friends show you- you yourself don't really travel, you technically don't take time off at all, rather always asking to have your off-days paid out instead if possible. You've got no reason to treat yourself with anything, be it time off or a full on vacation.

Your sense of self worth has shriveled up like rotten fruit over the years, now thrown out like the garbage it is.

Jungkook meanwhile clearly has a routine in him, as he walks through every room first to check if everything's okay, just to then place his bag somewhere near the bed, a big yawn escaping him as he opens the balcony door wide, letting the air of the seaside in. It's odd to see him dressed rather casual, simple but expensive sweater stretching over his broad back. His face still shows the clear stress he's accumulated, and it makes you wonder.

"Do you.. go on vacations often?" You wonder, and he shakes his head.

"No, usually I only fly out for business trips." He explains, watching you sit on the edge of the twin-sized bed. "I originally thought I should book two single beds, by the way. I just.. thought it might be more intimate like this." He tells you, leaning against the small balcony's edge outside, glass door open, as the wind blows through the curtains a little.

"It's okay like this." You nod, making him smile softly.

"Do you want to rest a little?" He asks, and you shrug, unsure. You only have three days- if you sleep now, it's probably annoying to him since he most likely planned something on this trip for you both to do. He at least comes across as someone who likes to have everything set out and structured- not like you, who dives in head first without any real plan. You don't want him to stay hidden inside the hotel room just because you're tired from the flight. "Hey." He asks, and you didn't even notice him squatting down in front of where you sit, his hands on your knees as he finds your eyes from where he's looking up at you. "Don't hesitate to speak your mind. If we want this to work, we need honestly, first and foremost." He encourages, and you nod.

"I'm tired- but I don't want to be boring." You worry.

"How would taking a nap be boring?" he chuckles. "I'm actually glad you're tired. I didn't want to come off as an old man who needs a break because he can't keep up." He laughs, standing up before he moves to lay down on the bed, patting the spot right next to him.

You lay down where he wordlessly suggested, taking in a deep breath while focusing your eyes on the collar of his sweater for a moment. It's when your gaze roams around that you notice something poke out on his wrist as he turns back around from removing his watch from the other arm. Your fingers curiously lift the fabric of the sleeve, making him chuckle quietly, before he moves to push the fabric up to his elbow, exposing different colors of ink underneath his skin.

What was Jungkook like when he was younger? Has he always been somewhat like this- or has he changed into this instead?

"Got them done in my early twenties too." He explains quietly. "Just.. lineart at first. Black and white." Jungkook remembers as he watches you trace some of the lines with your finger. "Then it got more. Over time, it looked a little messy- so I added color to it, this time actually going to a professional who specifies in forming sleeves." He tells you.

"Do you regret them?" You wonder. "Like.. your piercings and your tattoos?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"It's not like I regret them." He denies. "I still like the look of them. The aesthetic of it. It's just.." He sighs, inked hand turning around palm up, and you put your own on top of his, making him move to compare your hand sizes palm to palm. "..they don't feel like me anymore." He shrugs.

"Maybe because they aren't." You offer, now holding his hand with both of yours, your eyes on the blurred ink underneath the skin. "Maybe.. you changed. Even though you didn't want to."

He did. He knows that he did- but what he struggles with, is the question if he can even go back now. He wants to, but at this point, he feels like he's crossed that line by now, too far to step back and take a different path. Most people around him nowadays only now this Jungkook, not the one he used to be. If he just reverts back to who he once was, will he lose every friendship and connection he's made after he married?

Marriage. The moment he changed.

Love can make someone truly blind to a lot of things. He overlooked so many warning signs, pushed old friends and even family away just because they saw what he did not- or more so refused to. He's not spoken to his own parents in years, by now too ashamed to admit that he'd been wrong for the entirety of his past relationship, that his mother was right about her. What would she think about you?

She'd like you, he's very sure about that. His father would probably be a little suspicious of the age gab, and his brother would most likely tease the living daylights out of him, but he knows you'd fit right in. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? What would they think of him?

He wants to ask you, but the moment he becomes aware and snaps out of his thoughts, your eyes are already closed, breathing even. You're still holding onto him, and he realizes that he's never actually had a moment like this with Evelyn in the past, not even when they were just a regular couple, and definitely not after they got married. He feels.. free. No pressure on him, no obligations awaiting him, nothing needed or expected from him. You're simply sleeping, and yet the act itself makes his pride swell, because of your display of trust towards him.

He knows you've been hurt. He knows that he's been hurt-

And maybe, just maybe, together, you can finally begin heal.

Change once more, for a final time, into a happier version of yourselves.

[warping-realities]

Bed and Breakfast

"I can't believe you're going to make me stay in a place like that." Said the beautiful woman with an arrogant tone towards her companion. Without realizing that she was being heard by the owner of the small and cozy coastal inn.

"Babe, calm down, the place is really nice and seems to be very comfortable. And it's highly rated on travel sites. We'll be lucky if there's room for us here."

"We wouldn't have to go through this if you had booked a hotel in advance."

"Laura, love. You decided on a trip to a fashionable place at the last minute during high season, there was no vacancy and yet you insisted on coming."

"Of course, everyone important is here, what do you think my followers would say if I didn't come. An influencer has to be aware of all the trends, Jeremy and this is the place of the moment, only God knows why." Laura replied, making her boyfriend let out a sigh before being prevented from responding by a cheerful and jovial voice.

"Good night, I'm Cintia, owner of Cozy Cabin, welcome, how can I help you?"

"Good evening, ma'am. My name is Jeremy Grant, and this is my fiancée, Laura. We are looking for accommodation."

"Oh dear! I'm sorry, but we're all booked up, reservations have been closed for over two months, we've become a very popular place lately." The woman of indecipherable age responded, because at the same time that she showed signs of age, she had an aura of joy and youth around her, at that moment tainted by a genuine tone of sadness at not being able to help. Which turned into indignation and anger when the young, pretty blonde woman in front of him let out a dismissive giggle followed by a howl of reproach towards her fiancé. However, before Cintia could say anything, Jeremy quickly intervened.

"Isn't there really the slightest possibility Cintia? It would only be for one day so that Laura can take some photos and post them, she is a digital influencer."

"Really? I've never heard of you darling." Cintia said, taking advantage of the moment to repay the young woman's rudeness, who in turn couldn't stand to remain silent.

"I work with a young audience, it's understandable if someone your age doesn't know me." Laura replied, causing Jeremy to have a mortified expression and a dangerous glint to appear in Cintia's eyes.

"Ah, believe me, I know how to recognize an influencer with an impact, right now we are hosting Miguel Ramos, the famous fitness influencer, it is already the fifth year that he has visited us at this time. Which gives me a wonderful idea to solve the your problem. If you'll excuse me for a moment, I'll be back with news soon."

"Stupid rag" Laura commented bitterly as soon as Cintia left the room.

"Baby, you provoked..."

"Don't stand against me, Jeremy. How she dare, compare me to that fairy Miguel Ramos!"

"Laura, be careful what you say, I've heard a lot about Miguel Ramos, he was already a very respected Personal Trainer before becoming a popular fitness influencer and has a good follower base."

That was a huge understatement and they both knew it. While Laura's number of followers had not yet reached hundreds of thousands, Miguel's already surpassed the million barrier. And of course the vain woman didn't like being reminded of that and soon found a reason to tease her fiancé.

"Jeremy, that stubble of yours looks horrible, how many times have I told you to keep your face smooth! My followers prefer you to complement my look!"

Jeremy didn't know if that was true, Laura's followers really praised how much they complemented each other in appearance. But he couldn't help but occasionally wonder if the fact that Laura made him wear clothes in a similar style to hers, coupled with her insistence on keeping a smooth face and his blond hair in neat curls, resembled hers to the point where some people thinking that they were brothers and not a couple was a proof of a totally narcissistic nature as the class's detractors insisted on shouting. However, every time those thoughts arose, Jeremy quickly suppressed them, he had long ago accepted that he would be nobody without his girlfriend, to the point of giving up his career as a physical educator to follow her, ensuring all her wishes and canceling himself in every way. Because he was completely sure that he was not worthy of her love and that no one in the world would be able to love him like she did. It was precisely because he thought all of this that when he saw Cintia return with a look of satisfaction on her aged face, he responded calmly.

"Yes, love, that's the first thing I'll do as soon as we get to our room.”

"My dears, I found a solution, it's not perfect but it should help for today." Cintia began with a playful smile and that sparkle in her eyes. "We have a few rooms with extra beds that are not being occupied and two of our guests have kindly provided those beds to you for a couple of nights. In two days Mrs. Goldschmitt will return home and her room will be free if you wish." extend your stay."

"You mean you want us to stay in separate rooms?" Laura asked indignantly.

"It was the best I could do, dear. Of course, if it doesn't suit you, feel free to leave and look for accommodation elsewhere." Cintia replied with an icy smile.

"No, no, it's great, we accept!" Jeremy quickly interrupted, wanting to avoid more conflicts and the loss of the only stay they found.

"Great! Please follow me, then I'll ask one of the assistants to take your bags to your respective rooms." Cintia replied, looking genuinely pleased as she led them down a hallway and a flight of stairs to the first room and knocked on the door, which was promptly opened by a handsome Latino man in his thirties, with developed muscles detailed by a fitted white t-shirt and a friendly smile in his handsome bearded face.

"Goodnight." He said simply with a voice exuding masculinity.

"Miguel, dear. These are Jeremy and Lau..."

"You don't need to introduce me, I'm sure Miguel knows who I am." interrupted Laura while Miguel stared at her as if she were a creature that had jumped in front of him.”

"Laura... apparently she's a digital influencer." Cintia continued as if she had not been rudely interrupted. "Jeremy and Laura, this is Miguel Ramos who we talked about earlier and who kindly agreed to give Jeremy the extra bed in his room."

"Thank you for the lovely introduction Cintia and it's a pleasure to finally meet you in person Laura and you too Jer..." Miguel began, also being interrupted by Laura.

"I think our followers would love a collaboration from us."

"Um, sure, we can discuss this tomorrow, Laura. I believe you are both exhausted now and Cintia still has to take you to your room."

"Yes, yes, you're right, we'll arrange everything tomorrow. Shall we go then?" Laura ended talking to Cintia without even saying goodbye to Jeremy, who in turn approached his girlfriend and kissed her on the cheek.

"Good night love, sleep well!" - He said before entering the room and seeing his fiancée being taken by Cintia inside the building.

.....

"Welcome Jeremy, unfortunately you'll have to take the single bed."

"Thank you Miguel, you didn't need to do that or pretend to know Laura."

"Ahh, I'm sorry about that, but I thought it was better, I know how hurt some influencers can be by not being recognized, I've never particularly cared about that, but I've seen some uncomfortable situations to say the least. And as for the bed, It's just a bed, I'm not really using it and Cintia asked me for a favor, she's a great friend and was a lot of help when... anyway, you are welcome here.”

"Still, you didn't have to do any of that, thank you very much." Jeremy replied as he prepared to sleep, thinking about what Miguel had left to say. It was nothing new that his breakup with his long-time boyfriend, a famous film actor, had been very traumatic, so much so that he had remained out of the spotlight for several months until he was photographed on the beach close to where they were, which is why the interest in place had lit up. The only news there was knowing that he will not be staying in a luxurious hotel but in Cintia's small and cozy inn. Laura should be happy, Jeremy thought before falling asleep, she had gone to look for copper and apparently she had found gold.

Already lying in the single bed, Jeremy found the courage to say something else.

"Miguel, thank you really, I'm very grateful for your kindness... but... well... I apologize in advance if Laura expresses... um... any dissatisfaction with the accommodation arrangements... she's used to get what she wants and... well... there might be some kind of... jealousy... so..."

"She doesn't need to worry Jeremy, I'm not into man skinnier , smaller and younger than me." Miguel responded in a joking tone but causing Jeremy to immediately recoil.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't offend me Jeremy, I was just joking, you can rest assured, in fact feel free in the room, as far as I'm concerned the room is as much yours as mine. Have a good night.”

…..

The morning sun invaded the inn's bedroom, causing Jeremy to turn over in bed and wake up, rubbing his eyes, being treated to a stunning image, Miguel wearing only white underwear, with his sculpted body on display, staring intently at the bedroom wall as if he was lost in reminiscences. At that moment Jeremy felt something he had never imagined he would feel when seeing another man, a pang of desire, accompanied by a familiar sensation in his dick that he only associated with when he saw the image of Laura in her naked beauty. His surprise at that was so great that he moved abruptly, causing Miguel to wake up from his reverie.

"Good morning, I'm sorry if I woke you up, I forgot to close the curtains last night."

"No problem." Jeremy replied, hiding his erection with a pillow.

"Anyway, I'm already on my way out, going for my morning run before breakfast."

“Oh man, I miss doing that!” Commented Jeremy.

"Do you have this habit too?"

"Yes, I was a physical educator just like you, but since I started following Laura... she's not a morning person and gets upset when I wake her up early... anyway, I've been running on the treadmill while she makes the videos her at the gym."

"If you want to train with me..."

"Nah, man, thanks, but no. I'm going to rest a little longer" Jeremy replied, still hiding his erection.

"Then I'll see you later. Sweet dreams." Said an already fully dressed Miguel leaving the room and Jeremy alone with his disconcerting thoughts.

…….

To say that the trip had been a disppointment to Laura would be a huge understatement. First Jeremy hadn't been able to make a simple reservation and even had the nerve to blame her when he should have been able to foresee this kind of thing, then there was the beach itself, she had never liked sun and sea, and only Thinking about sand made her skin itch, but unfortunately, thanks to Miguel Ramos' stellar divorce and his apparent bad taste, that little beach was the star's hot spot for the summer. Ending up in the same inn as him could be a golden opportunity, but for that she had to put up with the arrogant old woman who owned the place, the fact that her fiancé was sleeping in the same room as that fagot and the annoying roommate she that she was sure it had been chosen by the old ghoul with the only intention of irritating her. And it was with a look that reflected her inner bitterness that she waited for her fiance to appear for breakfast, which made her even more indignant, as she was not used to wait and at the same time she refused to call him. After all he should know his place and his duties!

It was with that sour face that Miguel found her after taking a shower and getting dressed as quietly as possible to avoid waking the still sleeping Jeremy. Upon seeing that expression, he seriously thought about escaping from the breakfast room without being seen, especially since he hadn't had a good initial impression of Laura, which was confirmed when he saw the type of content she produced, with Jeremy appearing as more of an accessory to her outfit than as a real boyfriend, which raised the suspicion that perhaps the other man was trapped in the type of abusive relationship that he himself had lived in until recently. But before he had time to escape, their eyes met and a practiced smile appeared on her face without reaching her predatory eyes. Knowing that game very well, Miguel plastered a smile as fake as hers on his own face and approached her table.

"Good morning, Miguel, I hope Jeremy's snoring wasn't disturbing." Laura said, starting the conversation in the worst possible way and making the smile disappear on Miguel's face.

"On the contrary, it didn't bother me at all, Noah snored a lot more." He replied, making a look of irritation momentarily cross Laura's face due to the comparison with his ex-husband. Wasn't it enough that her boyfriend was sleeping in the same room as him?

"You're very kind, but it's my fiancé you're talking about, no one knows him like I do."

"Of course, and if you allow me to say, seeing your posts on social media is possible to see all your influence on him." Miguel replied, barely hiding the sarcasm in his voice.

"Thank you. It was hard work." Laura responded in turn without realizing the criticism embedded in his comment. "Speaking of work, when are we going to do our collaboration?" She concludes.

"We'll certainly find a way." He responded in turn, knowing that as far as he was concerned, that would never happen. "If you'll excuse me now I have an appointment. Maybe you should check on Jeremy, when I left the room he was sound asleep. It seemed to me like he hadn't slept so well in a long time." He concludes with a bright and genuine smile before leaving the room, turning his back on a fuming Laura.

Although Miguel's statement was intended to provoke Laura, that was not far from the truth. Jeremy had slept as well as ever and didn't even wake up when Miguel returned to the room and got ready for breakfast. If he had woken up he would have been mortified, because in his sleep he ended up ripping off his pajama shirt, and without realizing it, he reached for his erection that had returned along with Miguel's presence in the room, while his mind filled itself. one of the most different and vivid dreams he had ever had. In the dream he found himself lying completely naked on a beach not very different from the one where the inn was located, and with the sun bathing his body a beautiful blonde woman approached and began kissing his naked body, he couldn't tell if was it Laura or not, because each kiss given in the dream made him feel an immeasurable ecstasy, strong enough to cover up any sense other than pleasure, so much so that he only realized that the figure in the dream had changed, becoming a muscular man and bearded with his dark body shining with sweat in the morning sun a few seconds before he was awakened by the indignant voice of his fiancée.

"Jeremy, so this is what you were doing instead of meeting me for breakfast? Masturbating in that queer's room? How disgusting!"

Said an indignant Laura when she found her boyfriend in that position. Jeremy, taken by surprise in turn, responded without thinking

"Never use that kind of word in my presence again Laura, if there's anything disgusting it's those expressions!"

"Jeremy, how dare you correct me! Disguting yes, and even more disgusting are the habits of these fagots, but apparently you're already quite used to it, right, jacking off in one of their bedrooms. And you didn't even shave that disgusting beard. As if not If you just cut your hair without talking to me, I'm at my limit!" She barked back, causing all the layers of inhibition to return to a now more awake Jeremy.

"I'm sorry, babe, I shouldn't have talked to you like that. Give me a few minutes to get ready and we can have breakfast together." He said, returning to his servile habits as he struggled to understand what she meant about his beard and hair.

"Well, you can have your breakfast alone. And you don't even need to come with me to the beach, I'll take Kayla to help me. Make the most of your day without my presence!" She replied angrily, leaving the room and a confused and still sleepy Jeremy behind.

He in turn stood up and stretched, losing his balance a little as he felt the strange sensation that he seemed to be a good few inches taller, which he knew was nonsense, since no one grows overnight other than the fact that that he had had that height since the beginning of his adult life, which had helped him in many volleyball and basketball games when he was younger. Other activities that he missed but couldn't find time in his day to practice. He had never resented Laura for these things, but deep down he couldn't help but feel an irritation at having given up virtually all of his interests for hers. Shaking his head in an attempt to get those intrusive thoughts out of him, he went to the bathroom and took a long shower, knowing that there was no point in looking for his girlfriend while she was in that mood, that poor Kayla, whoever she was, who would have to put up with Laura for that morning, he thought with uncharacteristic sarcasm as he soaped the six blocks set on his abdomen, this time without trying to shake that thought away. After getting out of the shower he looked at himself in the mirror, for someone who could no longer follow a strict exercise routine he looked very good, he was slim but defined and his short beard accentuated the angles of his face, framed by golden curls in a medium lenght haircut.

Maybe it was time for Laura to learn to better appreciate the boyfriend she had, he thought, leaving the bathroom without shaving, before changing and getting ready to enjoy a morning of sun and sea without Laura's constant complaints and orders, which without a doubt it was the best thing that could have happened, said a new invasive thought that once again did not go away.

……..

Jeremy wandered along the seawall for several minutes, feeling the sand beneath his feet, the scent of the sea breeze filling his lungs and the sun's rays bathing his fair skin, even though he knew he risked getting burned, it was too good for him let it go. After wandering for a long time he sat down on the beach and simply let himself be invaded by it all, with a wave of peace and completeness filling him. Without realizing that the longer he stayed there, the less white his skin became, turning to a golden summer tone, at the same time that his muscles expanded slightly, leaving him with the appearance of someone who trained frequently and carefully.

And there he would have continued without noticing the changes if he hadn't been interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey, roomie, watch out for a burn on your skin!"

Opening his eyes Jeremy found himself staring at Miguel in all his glory, with a happy smile plastered on his face.

"I may not have your Latin genes, Miguel. But it's been a long time since I've been burned!" He replied, smiling, as that strange feeling invaded him again.

"Still, the sun around here is much stronger than what you're used to. Let me help you." Miguel replied, approaching with a tube of sunscreen in his hands. "That is, if you don't mind."

Jeremy did care, not because of any prejudice, but because of the fear of what that closeness would make him feel, not to mention the erection that threatened to return. But at the same time he couldn't resist that proposal.

"No problem, I think you're exaggerating, but Laura will be unbearable if I burn myself, she already doesn't like my skin being so tanned."

"What nonsense, your skin is beautiful, that tan contrasts very well with your blonde hair, it gives you a healthy look, especially with those defined muscles."

"Thanks man, it's nice to hear a compliment from... hummm”. He groaned when he felt the other man's strong hands massaging his back.

"Something wrong?" Miguel asked.

"No... no... it's just that the sunscreen was cold."

"Ah, I'm done. Just a little more down here." Miguel said with his hands approaching Jeremy's buttocks and making him contract all over.

"Okay, do you want me to apply it in your front?"

"No, you don't need to, I'll do it myself." Jeremy quickly responded, taking the cock from Miguel's hand without even wanting to think about those manly hands near his cock.

"And where is Laura? I thought you helped with her content production."

Thinking about his girlfriend brought an unexpected wave of irritation to Jeremy, as if a cloud was blocking out the morning sun.

"We had an argument in the morning... in fact she did what she always does, said what she wanted and left me alone, I guess in the hope that I would go after her... but not this time... she might to fend for herself with her new friend." He responded with a certain bitterness that didn't go unnoticed by Miguel.

"Relationships can be complicated."

"Ours isn't, but I'm starting to think it's just because I'm used to canceling myself out in front of her."

Miguel, who had already noticed that, preferred not to comment anything.

"Anyway, we should see each other later and resolve this, I still love her of course, but some things will have to change in our relationship."

"So how about we do that run now, a little return to your old ways?"

"Are you sure you'll be able to keep up with me, with all this extra size and already running before..."

"Boy, respect me, I'm not one of the best known personal trainers in the world for nothing."

"Then we'll see!" Jeremy replied, getting up and running away.

……

Laura walked with disgust on the beach sand. Her morning, like the rest of that trip, had been dark. Kayla was pleasant company as she shared the same interests as her, although she was in a lower category with only a few tens of thousands of followers. Still, she expected Laura to return the favors she did by asking her to take photos and record videos of her. Simply unbearable. And it was all Jeremy's fault, obviously. She still couldn't believe that her worthless boyfriend hadn't come looking for her and even worse for the second time that day it was she who was forced to look for him in the middle of that damned sand.

It was with this feeling that she watched two muscular men running from the edge of the beach towards the sea while laughing loudly and then diving. A ridiculous and childish behavior in her opinion. So what was her surprise when she saw that one of those men, the tanned blonde with a haircut made up of a pompadour and a side fade, accompanied by a full beard just as blonde, smile and approach her with his tanned muscular body still moist from the sea water shining in the midday sun.

"Hey babe, how was the morning?"

"Jeremy, how dare you leave me like that! And that beard, you said you were going to trim it! And your hair??? What nonsense is this?"

"No nonsense Laura. They look the way I like!"

"But not in the way my followers and I expected! You're almost bald! That tan and those excessive muscles weren't enough!"

"Don't exaggerate Laura, and if I decide to shave all my hair I will. Your followers have nothing to do with how I decide to cut my hair or my beard."

"Of course it has to do with it, you're my boyfriend, you influence the way I'm perceived!"

"Apparently that's the only way I care about you, how I make others perceive you."

"And how would it be different, I make a living from this, I'm an influencer, and my boyfriend needs to agree with my branding."

"I'm not your accessory, Laura."

"Well, my dear, in the end it's as if you were!"

"So I don't know if I still want to continue this relationship." He replied, turning his back on an angry Laura.

"Jeremy! Don't you dare! Jeremyyyy....!" She shouted at the top of her lungs, but he didn't turn around and walked aimlessly towards the other side of the beach, followed by the watchful eye of Miguel Ramos.

…..

Jeremy wandered the beach for several minutes trying to calm the influx of thoughts. He was torn by the despair of losing the woman he believed he loved and the growing feeling of contempt for that same woman. How could he cancel himself out for so long, how could he not see who she was? And at the same time she had been his life for the last few years, how could he live without her? He certainly wouldn't be capable of that! Deciding to run back after her and humble himself by her forgiveness, he started running. Only stopping when he heard the voice did he start to associate that strange feeling, mixed with desire and comfort.

"Hey, Big Guy, what's the rush?" Asked a smiling Miguel sitting on a bench in a beach bar.

"Sorry Miguel, I need to find Laura!"

"And what would be the point of talking to her with a hot head, wait for you two to calm down."

"You do not understand!"

"Ah, I understand. I understand so much that I'm going to offer you the two things you need most right now, company and a few shots of Tequila!"

"I do not know dude..."

"Relax man and follow me." Miguel said, taking Jeremy by the arms and taking him to a table in the bar.

…..

"I shouldn't interfere in your relationship with your girlfriend. But I recently went through a complicated divorce. And the truth is that it took me a long time to realize that I was in an abusive relationship." - Miguel said to a saddened Jeremy.

"I'm not in a relationship like that, I love Laura." Jeremy replied, but with less conviction than he wanted to make it seem.

"And does she respond to this love? She loves you the same way you love her."

"It is clear..."

"Really? Be honest with yourself if you don't want to be honest with someone you barely know."

"I want to believe so, but..."

"But you have doubts. Let me propose a little game, I'm going to ask you some questions about relationships and for every positive answer from you and me we'll drink a shot of tequila, I bet you that we'll drain a bottle with ease.

"First question. Have you ever felt that you were giving much more of yourself to this relationship than your partner?"

The two took a shot and although neither of them noticed, the tan on Jeremy's skin deepened, reaching a caramel tone very close to Miguel's.

"Second question: Have you ever felt diminished by your partner?"

Another shot for both. And now Jeremy's height has increased making him several inches taller than Miguel.

"Third question: have you ever felt that you are nothing more than an accessory to your partner, that he doesn't even see you as a person but as an object?"

Another shot. Another change. Jeremy's muscles expanded, surpassing the size of Miguel's and reaching the proportions of an amateur bodybuilder. The bottle was already half full, but both men, who were not small, were already quite upset, as that level of drinking was not part of either of their habits.

"One more... one more..." A drunken Miguel said, looking extremely distorted in Jeremy's vision. "Have you ever felt like you're in this relationship out of fear... afraid that you're not good enough... that you can't be loved by someone else... and that your partner takes advantage of that to keep you stuck with them?

Another shot and Jeremy's already blurred vision began to swirl as a feeling of anxiety took over him for finally admitting those truths even while drunk. Miguel was spinning in front of him, and he felt an immense desire to get up and run away, but as he did so he fell to the ground.

"Jeremy, Jeremy..." He heard the voice in the distance, that voice, which awakened so many feelings in him. "Jeremy..." A voice that made him realize that he could still desire and be desired... "Jer...." The voice that made him excited just by hearing it. "Jav..." The voice of the man he was in love with but couldn't admit."

"Javier, get up, is everything okay?"

And Javier stood up amid laughter.

"It's all right Miguel, it was just bad form, it takes a lot more than a shot of tequila to take down a man my size." Replied a smiling Javier Garcia, sitting at the table again. At the same time he ran his hands through his long, glossy black beard.

"Let me ask the question now." Javier said, smiling wider. "Do you think you're ready to leave this relationship behind and move on to better opportunities?"

One more shot for both.

…..

Javier lay down on the cramped single bed in the room he shared with Miguel, feeling his head spinning. While the roommate spent non-productive time feeling the same thing sitting on the toilet. As he tried hard not to spill everything he had eaten that day, he felt his cell phone vibrate. When he looked at the screen he noticed that there were hundreds of messages and calls from an unknown number. Choosing to deal with it when he was in better condition, he closed his eyes again and thus did not see each of those messages and calls disappear from the records.

With his head still spinning he fell into a restless sleep filled with rapidly changing dreams, until again he dreamed of that thin, beautiful blonde woman. In the dream she lay down on him again and began kissing his naked body, but without provoking any reaction in him, nothing, no excitement, no pleasure, until once again the smooth woman's skin gave way to that rough sensation of a beard shaving the skin. his body and then it was Miguel who kissed him, rekindling the flame of desire within him. As he slept he moaned with excitement, with a powerful erection between his legs, until he finally woke up feeling Miguel's real mouth wrap around his engorged cock. Trapped in that feeling of pleasure, he pulled the other man closer to him, being invaded by the no longer strange sensation of real desire.

After hours of wild sex, Javier got up from the only bed in that room, a King Size bed reinforced to support the weight of two athletes. Stretching, he stopped to admire the muscular body of a professional bodybuilder in the bedroom mirror.

Every fiber of his body was worked with the utmost dedication and commitment, and soon he would be on stage to put all that work to the test. He ran his hand through his shaved hair and finished the movement with his long, soft beard. He knew he would have to shave it before the performance but he was reluctant because Miguel liked him too much that way. Speak of the devil, Miguel at that moment repositioned himself on the bed and watched Javier look at himself in the mirror.

"A penny for your thoughts." Said the smaller and younger man but who had still won the position of his coach along Javier's heart.

"It's no big deal, Mig, I was just looking in the mirror and thinking it's a shame to have to shave, you like it so much..."

"Javi, I want you with or without a beard, I don't care how you present yourself, I care about being with you."

"So you mean if I were smaller and thinner you'd still be with me?"

"Maybe you wouldn't have caught my attention at first sight, but like I said, I care about the person you are, the man I fell in love with and if he loses weight or gains weight that won't change."

"Thanks, babe. That's really good to hear." Javier replied, going to the bathroom.

"Where are you going, are you going to shave now?"

"I thought you didn't care about my beard."

"I don't mind, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it a little more and you a little of this" Miguel replied, lifting the covers and revealing his huge hardened cock and making a big smile spread across Javier's face.

……

The afternoon sun shone like never before, but even that didn't seem to light up Laura's life as she gossiped with Kayla in the bar by the sea, while they discreetly watched Miguel and Javier talk.

"Is this a good time? They seem to be arguing." Asked Kayla to her colleague.

"Just because they're serious doesn't mean they're fighting. If we take into account their social networks, they're living wonderfully." Laura replied.

"You know as well as I do how deceiving social media can be."

"Still, this is our chance to collaborate with them, it's not every day that we get to work together with two of the biggest fitness influencers in the world."

"Smile, they're looking this way!" Said Kayla, making both of them give identical fake smiles, returned by a nod from the fitness couple of the year, who then got up, put on their tank tops and headed towards the beach.

"There goes our chance." Laura grumbled.

"Don't worry my dear, people like you always get what they deserve." Said a smiling Cintia who was passing by before positioning herself at the bar counter and smiling.

A smile that widened when she saw Miguel and Javier together on the beach sharing a passionate kiss. If there was something she was proud of, it was a job well done and at her inn that meant much more than just bed and breakfast.

[holdmytesseract]

If you are seeking soon to be dad Daryl, what about a fic where Y/n gets pregnant but she's scared to tell Daryl because what happened to Lori? Maybe she is finally able to tell him when they get reunited after the prison falls and by then she's already showing? Idk I know it says requests are closed but I saw your post!

Blessing in Disguise

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Summary: After discovering that you are pregnant, you don't know what to do; being utterly afraid after what happened to Lori. You don't even have the chance to tell it your boyfriend, Daryl, because after the prison fell, you and Daryl get separated. Can you find him again and finally be brave enough to tell him?

Warnings: the usual TWD stuff, walkers, weapons, angst, mentions of birth and pregnancy, fluff!

Set in Season 4/5!

Word Count: 4,6k (Whopsies...)

a/n: I promised y'all a new Daryl fic and here it is! ☺️ Thank you for this wonderful request @starfirette ! ☺️ I loved, loved, loved to write this! 🥰 I hope you like it. ☺️ I changed the timeline a little bit - and I uh, may have ignored the existence of Mika and Lizzie, because I somehow struggled a lot to write them. I hope that's okay. 🙈

Tagging: @in-this-minute @thefemininemystiquee @hotgirlsshareaccounts @azanoni @lokisgoodgirl @goobysgoobers @fuseburner @fictive-sl0th @alexreadz07 @sweetpeapod

Masterlist

Biting your lip nervously, you watched your friend from afar, loading stuff in a car. He was alone, so your only opportunity to ask was probably now - or never. Taking a deep breath, you bit the bullet and walked over to him. "Hey, uh, Glenn?" The black-haired man turned to face you. "Oh, hey Y/N. What's up?" He asked you, smiling. "Can... Can you please get me something from the drugstore you're going to?" "Sure thing, no problem. What is it?" You bit your lip again; shaky fingers handed over a small piece of paper. Glenn took it and slowly unfolded it. His gaze scanned the written words, eyes widening. "Y-Y/N this... This is-" "I know, Glenn, I know. Please, keep this to yourself, okay?" "Of course, but... You know that everyone says I'm bad at keeping secrets?" You sighed, rubbing the heels of your hands in your eyes. "Yes, but you're my best friend. I trust you." The Korean nodded, "You got a point there..." and stuffed the note inside his jeans pocket. "Don't forget it, please." "I won't, promise."

You spent the time walking from one place to the next. Your mind was restless, and so was your body. A billion 'What if...' questions were running through your head on lighting speed. It felt like your skull was going to burst any second. The wait for Glenn to return was almost unbearable. "Y/N? You alright?" Maggie's voice cut through the loud noises in your head. Blinking, you stopped in your motions; looking up to face her. "Y-Yeah, of course." The woman looked at you quite a bit sceptically. "Are you sure? You seem really... uneasy and nervous. Something wrong between you and Daryl?" You quickly shook your head at your friend's words. "No, no! Everything's perfectly fine! We're good. I'm good!" Maggie eyed you a second time doubtfully, "Alright." before she turned around to leave again. You breathed out relieved, closing your eyes. Gods... That was hell.

About two hours later, Glenn and a few Woodbury people came back from the run. Subtly, your best friend handed you the small bag. "You got it?" He nodded. "Yeah. Brought three different brands." You stared at the bag, taking it into your hands. "Thank you." "Of course." You gave Glenn a small smile, which he returned. "You can talk to me about... You know. I-I'm always here for you." "I know - and I appreciate it so much." Before the Korean could even answer, you had pulled him into a big hug.

Now you sat in the cell you shared with Daryl - who was on a hunt at the moment, on the bed, staring at the bag in your hands. You had to do it. You just had to. You needed to know. So, you grabbed all three packages and sneaked into the prison 'bathroom'. Taking the tests were easy. Waiting five minutes for them to show a result was excruciating. Once again you found yourself walking up and down the room, hoping for once time would pass faster. At some point you couldn't take it anymore. You had to look; waited clearly long enough. Closing your eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath, you stepped over to one of the sinks - where you had placed all three tests, and taking a look at them. The first one. Positive. The second test. Positive. And the third result. Positive. "Fuck..." You were pregnant – without a doubt.

Shock wasn't the right word to describe your emotions right now. It wasn't really a shock, since you had the assumption; showing the typical signs for over a week now. Fear and panic were better words. In another world, you would've been happy. Having a baby with the man you loved was everything you ever wanted. Daryl was that man. The rotten, destroyed and dangerous world was a big problem, sure. Not just the walkers were a big threat. The disease, which roamed the prison had been a problem, but also other people out there. People like the Governor, for example. But now that you had the prison back and successfully defended your home against that psychopath, you weren't that concerned about the circumstances and surroundings. The prison was safe. What was a bigger problem and the cause for your main fear and panic, was what had happened only a few months ago... Judith's birth, and Lori's death. She died, birthing a child - and that was what gave you the chills. What if the same fate befell you? What if you were going to die as well, bringing yours and Daryl's baby into this world? Like Lori already once said… This wasn't a hospital. Sure, you had medical supplies - but not enough for a c-section or worse. If there would be complications, you were sure going to die - and you didn't want that. Despite that, it was already kinda hard enough to provide for one baby, but two? You didn't know. You really didn't know. What were you going to do now?

Driven by the panic coursing through your system, you went on search for Glenn. You needed to talk - and your best friend was your safe haven right now. Telling Daryl wasn't an option. Not just because he wasn't here at the moment anyway - which had left you worried sick enough, but also because you just were too afraid. You didn't want to do this to him. If you were really going to die during childbirth, you would put even more weight on his shoulders. He already had to carry enough.

"Glenn?!" You shouted up the guard tower, knowing that he was on watch at the moment. Seconds later, the door sprung open and his head appeared. "Y/N?" He shouted back. "Can... Can I come up?" You choked out; the tears on the brink of falling. "Uh, sure!" Quickly, you made your way up the stairs and through the doors. "T-Thanks." "Sure thing. Did you take the- You did." Glenn said, turning to face you and noticing the tears in your eyes immediately. "Is it... positive?" You nodded. Glenn's eyes widened. "You are... pregnant?" Once again you nodded; having lost the ability to form words. Without another sentence, Glenn bridged the distance between you and him and hugged you close. A big hug - exactly what you needed right now.

The two of you just stood there for a while, embracing each other. The only thing which could be heard, were your quiet sobs of desperation.

"W-What am I doing now, Glenn?" He pulled back from the hug, looking at you a bit confused. "What, uh, do you mean?" You blinked, staring at your best friend. Was he serious right now? He didn't get it? "Glenn, I... I can't have that baby!" And again the black-haired man's eyes widened. "Wait, what? You want to...?" Shrugging your shoulders, more tears started to fall. "N-No, but... I'm afraid of being pregnant; of birthing that baby. You know what happened to Lori! What if this happens to me, too!" Glenn immediately shook his head. "It won't, Y/N. Judith's birth went wrong, because Hershel wasn't with her. Lori was at the wrong place on the wrong time, unfortunately. It won't happen to you." You scoffed, not seeing this as easy as him. "That may be true, but what if Hershel can't be with me as well, huh? For any reason? And nevertheless, this ain't a hospital... It's a goddamn prison." The Korean sighed, tried to reassure you further, but it was no use. "I'm going to take you to Hershel now." He said, grabbing gently your arm and pulling you with him. "W-Why?" "Because maybe he can reassure you; and especially prevent you from having a panic attack." You said nothing; knew that he was actually right, so you didn't protest.

Passing by a lot of familiar faces on the way - due to the people from Woodbury your group had taken in in the prison, Glenn brought you to the small infirmary, where he was surely working.

"Hershel?" Glenn called out, trespassing the big doors with you. "I'm here." You heard the elder man call out, before he stepped out of one of the cells turned hospital rooms. "Glenn, what can I- Oh, hello Y/N." Neither of you said a thing, causing Hershel to look confused at the both of you and get closer. "Is everything alright?" Glenn turned to face you, squeezing your shoulder gently. "I'll leave you to it." With those words and a smile, he disappeared through the doors again, leaving you alone with Hershel. "Are you not feeling well, dear?" "Y-Yes." What were you saying? "N-No, I-" Even more overwhelmed now, you took a deep breath, trying to get yourself together. Hershel could see how you struggled; that you were rattled and of course, that something was bothering you. "Come, Y/N, let's sit down." The older man gave you a soft smile and gestured for you to follow him. He guided you into an empty room, in which he told you to sit on the small bed. "I'll be right back." You nodded, still too shaken up to form words.

A few minutes later, Hershel came back with a water bottle, handing it over to you. "Drink." You nodded once again, twisted the cap open and took a few big sips. "Good. Now take a few deep breaths and tell me what's wrong - if you feel up to it." You did what Hershel instructed you to do; took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. You needed that. You didn't know it, but you needed that. "Thank you." The man nodded at you, giving you another small smile. "O-Okay, so... Um, I... I wasn't feeling that well for the last few days. Always tired, no matter how much I slept. Sometimes, I had a bit nausea and mood swings... A-And I had to pee more often." You paused for a moment, fiddling nervously with your hands. A look into Hershel's face told you that he already knew what you were trying to say. After all, he was a doctor, but he didn't interrupt you; let you speak on. "W-Well, I counted one and one together and... Glenn brought me three tests. I just took them and..." "They're positive?" You nodded, clenching your jaw in order to suppress the upcoming tears. "W-What do I do now, Hershel?" The older man reached his hand over to gently place it on yours. "Be happy about it. This is a gift. A wonder." You scoffed, controlled by your fear once again. "It wasn't a gift for Lori, was it?" Hershel sighed, knowing exactly what you meant. "What happened to Lori was an accident. It was the wrong place and the wrong situation." "That may be true, but what if I'm going to die, too? What if this baby decides to come in the wrong place and the wrong situation as well?" "That won't happen." "Why are you so sure of that? This just isn't a world to have children anymore." It was a back and forth and throwing arguments - until Hershel shook his head and gave your hand a squeeze. "Now listen to me, Y/N. I know very well that this must be not easy for you. I can understand; given what happened to Lori. But Lori had Carl through a c-section, so the chances were pretty high she needed to have Judith with a c-section as well. You on the other hand have very good chances for a natural birth." He said calmly, pausing for a moment to let his words sink in. "Despite, you are such a strong woman. You've got Daryl by your side. You've got all of us by your side. A safe place with the prison..." He gave you a smile. "We're going to make this."

Hershel's words managed to calm you down a bit and take away some of your anxiety - quite to your surprise. "Y-You think?" "Yes." You nodded and stayed quiet for a moment, before the next thought hit you. "B-But what if Daryl doesn't want this?" A low, hearty chuckle rumbled through the elder man's chest, causing you to look at him confused. "Y/N... That man would do anything for you and that baby. You know just like me how adamant he was to keep Judith alive and healthy. He was the first one who reacted, went immediately out on a run to get her formula. Daryl would never reject that baby, trust me. He is going to be a great father." He squeezed your hand again, giving you another smile, which you couldn't help but return. "Now let's get you checked up and make sure to start on the prenatal vitamins."

And for a short moment, everything was perfectly fine. Sure, you still had your doubts and fears, but the voices in your heads became quieter, due to Hershel. Unfortunately, your happy phase didn't last even three days. Suddenly everything turned sour, when Hershel and Michonne vanished, the Governor returned to take the prison by brutal force with the two missing people in tow as hostages, murdering Hershel in front of yours and everyone's eyes – and the fall of the prison in the end. It happened so fast. Within minutes, everything was heading south with walkers flooding the place and a war breaking loose. Suddenly everybody around you was crying and yelling, while you just tried to hold on to Daryl - but it was no use... In the end, you lost him, got separated from him and ended up with Tyreese, who had saved baby Judith - and who absolutely wasn't bad at all, but Tyreese wasn't Daryl. The prison was destroyed, your family split up, not knowing who survived and who didn't. Your boyfriend and still unbeknownst to him, father of your child was probably dead and you had absolutely nothing left. Within a blink of an eye, you had a mess on your hands.

"We have to go back!" You shouted after Tyreese, as he walked on through the woods, further away from the prison. "We have to go back and look for him!" Your friend gave you no answer, just continued to walk on. With a cocktail of anger, hurt, frustration and sadness coursing through your veins, you quickly caught up to him. "Tyreese!" He stopped suddenly abruptly in his tracks. "We can't, Y/N! We can't! Don't you see? Our home is destroyed, overrun with walkers! Going back there would be suicide!" "I don't care! I have to find him!" Tyreese sighed, bouncing Judith in his arms to keep her asleep and quiet. "I know this is hard for you and I am truly so, so sorry, but we have to look after Judith now. Make sure she survives." A part of you knew that the man was more than right, but your heart just couldn't accept this. You had to made sure that the man you loved was alright. So the emotions inside you exploded, causing you to reveal your 'secret' to your friend. "And I have to make sure that the father of my baby is alive!" Your eyes widened immediately after the words had left your lips, realisation dawning on you. Tyreese's eyes widened as well; his jaw dropping. "You... You are pregnant?" You nodded; tears threatening to fall. "Please, Tyreese, please..." Your voice was quieter and softer now, on the verge of begging. The man sighed once again, before placing a free hand on your upper arm, squeezing reassuringly. "No. It's too late." You wanted to speak up again, but Tyreese was quick to cut you off. "It won't change a thing if we are going back there." "Fine. Then I'm going alone." You wanted to turn on your heels and go, but Tyreese stopped you; grabbed your arm gently. "I can't and won't let you, Y/N. You are pregnant! I'd never forgive myself if something would happen to you. We stay together. Maybe we find Daryl somewhere around here. He is a survivor, you know that." Those words seemed to finally do the trick and convince you to not go back. Instead, you fell into Tyreese's arm, hugging his side and crying against his shoulder.

"Y/N!" Daryl looked around frantically, scanning his surroundings, while taking out several walkers on his way. "Y/N!" He couldn't see you. He just couldn't see you. "Y/N!" The tank, standing in the yard distracted his search for a moment, as he made sure to push a grenade down the gun, causing the man inside to jump out, before the tank exploded. Daryl was quick in driving an arrow through the enemy's chest; looking once again around. "Y/N!" The archer was on the edge of despair, so afraid to lose you. He had held your hand so tight and nevertheless, you were just suddenly gone, vanished into thin air, just because he had to use the hand which was clasping yours to kill an approaching walker. It was a mistake. He should've never let you go and rather just waste an arrow. Feeling the tears coming up in his eyes and witnessing more walkers storming the destroyed home they had built up, he screamed out your name from the top of his lungs for one last time. No response. No you. "Fuck!" He cursed, throwing his weapons to the ground and rubbing the heels of his hands in his eyes - until a familiar voice spoke up behind him.

"Daryl!" The archer spun around. His gaze landed on a young woman with blonde hair. Beth. "I was trying to find the kinds to get them on the bus." Daryl shook his head. "I lost Y/N. I can't find 'er. I can't find 'er." Beth looked at him compassionately, taking his hand. "I'm so sorry, Daryl." The man was quiet for a moment, until he ripped his hand loose from the teenager's soft grip. "You gotta Beth, you gotta go. Get yourself to safety." The young woman's eyes widened. "No! I-I... What about you?" "I can't leave. I need ta find Y/N. I can't lose her." Beth frantically shook her head. "You can't, Daryl. If you stay, you're going to get yourself killed! There are too many walkers!" "Don care. Gotta find 'er." He wanted to walk past Beth, but she held him back with a hand pressed against his chest. "No! Y/N wasn't inside the prison. I didn't see her. You couldn't find her outside. What if she was inside the bus, or left already with someone else?" Daryl's eyes flickered, the gears in his head turning. "Please... If you go in there now and get yourself killed, Y/N is the one who is going to suffer. You don't want that, do you?" Daryl swallowed, shaking his head. "No." "See? Now come on. We have to go. We'll look for her, I promise!" He nodded and followed Beth, still not sure if this was the right decision.

Time passed. Day after day went by. While you, Tyreese and Judith found Carol on your way, Daryl lost Beth to god knows who and found Rick, Carl and Michonne somewhere on the way. They weren't you, but he was relieved to see that other members of his family had survived. Unfortunately, they didn't know what happened to you as well, leaving the archer still in the dark. It was torturous. But so it was for you.

At some point, you lost track of time, couldn't tell if the weeks had already turned to months or not. What you knew was, that the baby living inside you, must be there already for at least three months, since you lately started to show, having a small baby bump now. Carol quickly counted one and one together as well, making sure together with Tyreese that you were safe and protected.

Well... And then Terminus happened. While Daryl tried to stay alive with the others, Carol went on a rescue mission. You wanted to accompany her at all costs, but of course she didn't let you. She didn't want to risk your life and with that the baby's life as well. So, you stayed behind in that little hut with Tyreese and Judith, making sure that this strange man you took hostage didn't escape. Let's put it this way... Not every part of it went according to plan, but in the end everything turned out to be fine. More than fine, actually...

"I'm not digging around with this crap. We just made it out." "The fences are down. They'll run or die." Daryl listened in silence to the group and Rick's arguing, biting his lower lip - until he heard the leaves of the forest ground crunch, alerting him that someone - or most likely rather something must be there. He was right. But it wasn't something. It was someone. Carol. Daryl couldn't believe his eyes, seeing his best friend standing there, only a few feet away. He didn't think he would ever see her again. Not after she had been banished by Rick. But there she was. Daryl didn't hesitate, ran over to her and pulled her into a big hug. That attracted the others attention as well. Everyone was exhausted to the core, but undeniably happy to see Carol. Rick as well. He approached the two friends. "Did you do that?" Carol nodded meekly, on the verge of tears. Rick went immediately to hug her, wrapping both his arms tightly around his friend. "Thank you." The grey-haired woman retreated from the hug, smiling softly. "You have to come with me."

That was exactly what they all did. They followed Carol to the little hut… "They're back! Y/N they're back!" Tyreese exclaimed, watching their family approach the hut through one of the windows. "Really?!" You literally jumped up from where you sat on the ground beside Judith's makeshift crib. "Yes!" "Daryl! Can you see Daryl?!" Tyreese turned to face you, smiling. "Look for yourself." You sprinted to the window, seeing familiar and also a few unfamiliar faces. Among them, was Daryl. Seeing him kickstarted your heart, sending waves of pure happiness through your veins. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," you splattered out, before moving over to run out of the hut. "Daryl! Daryl!" The archer's eyes shot up, landing directly on you. For the second time within minutes, he couldn't believe his eyes. He had already lost hope, thinking he was never ever going to see you again. "Y/N..." He breathed out, letting his crossbow fall to the ground and running towards you, meeting you halfway in a hug. You literally jumped into his arms, wrapping both your arms and legs around him. "Daryl..." You sobbed, burying your face in his neck. "Y/N..." You could tell that Daryl was crying as well. His voice quivering and unsteady. The world around you faded. Just you and Daryl existed in that very moment. "I-I thought I lost you. I thought I was never going to see you again." You stammered, still clinging to him. "Me too. I couldn't find ya. I searched for ya, but I just couldn't find ya." "I'm here now." You whispered with a smile, peppering the skin on his neck with small kisses. "I am never going let ya out of my sight again, I promise. 'M gonna protect you better, I swear." You shook your head. "You always protect me as best as you can. This wasn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself, please. It was the Governor's fault. Nobody else's." Daryl just nodded against your shoulder, relieved that he had you back in his arms. That was everything what mattered in that moment. You held him for another while, before you untangled yourself from around your boyfriend and backed up a bit, just enough to look into his blue, greyish eyes. Though, one eye was slightly swollen and red. All in all, he looked quite battered and bruised, causing your heart to ache. Gently, you cupped his scruffy cheeks, looking at him with furrowed brows, worried. He noticed that of course, "M fine. Don worry." and started immediately to rub reassuring circles in the clothed skin of your hips with his thumbs. "You don't look fine, Daryl." The archer shook his head. "M fine, really. Jus' a black eye and a few cuts and bruises... How are you? You alright?" His question reminded you suddenly of the baby, growing in your womb. His baby. You swallowed. Now was the time to tell him, wasn't it?

"Y-Yes, I am, b-but there's something I need to tell you, I-" "We need to go." Rick's voice suddenly cut through the air, loud enough to catch both, yours and Daryl's attention. The archer looked at his brother, an arm still protectively wrapped around you. He hadn't noticed your small baby bump yet. "Yeah, but where?" He asked. "Somewhere far away from there," answered Rick, everybody shuffling around to get ready for moving along. Daryl nodded, thinking the same as Rick. "You two coming?" "Yes, just give us a minute. We'll catch up." You jumped to answer your friend, before Daryl could. You had to tell him. Now. "Alright. Just don't stay behind. We'll make sure to look out for you." You nodded, giving him a smile. "Thanks." The others went to follow Rick, leaving you and Daryl on your own - for now. The archer's gaze met yours again, fear and worry clouding his blue-grey orbs. "What is it?" Daryl asked, eyes suddenly widening. "You didn't get bit, did ya?!" You quickly shook your head. "No, no! It's not that! I didn't get bit!" He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing out relieved. "Thank fuck. What is it then?" You took a deep breath. Now or never. "I-I'm pregnant." Daryl blinked, looking at you incredulously. "W-What?" You bit your lip, gently reaching for his hand and placing it on your small baby bump for him to feel. "I-I'm pregnant." An audible gasp left his lips; emotions getting stuck in his throat and tears blurring his vision. "P-Pregnant? Y-Yer pregnant?" You nodded, having to fight the tears once again as well. "Oh Y/N..." Daryl sobbed, engulfing you in another hug.

"Since when do you know?" You swallowed hard, knowing that this question would come. "A few days before the prison fell..." "W-What?" He was shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I'm sorry. I-I wanted to, but I was so afraid because of what happened to Lori a-a-and I dunno... Before I could tell you, everything went south. I'm so sorry." "Damnit, Y/N... Jus' imagine what could've happen if you ended up alone out there? Ya could've died!" "But I didn't! I found Tyreese and Carol. They took care of me. They always made sure I was okay." Daryl scoffed, but took your hands into his. "Don scare the shit outta me again, woman, I swear…" You had to smile softly at his words, shaking your head, "Promise." and stood on your tiptoes to kiss him lovingly. "Let's catch up to the others. You stay close ta me. I don't want ya out of my sight, understood?" You nodded. "Yes, Sir." "Good." The archer intertwined your fingers with his, grabbed his crossbow and gently pulled you with him, in order to catch up to the others - what you did in the end. "So, you're not mad at me, that I'm, well... Pregnant?" Once again, he shook his head. "Why should I? This is wonderful, actually. Maybe not the best time, but we're gonna make this. Judith made it, too." You smiled up at him, your heart full and content with love. "I love you." "I love ya too, sunshine - and I promise I'm goin' to look after you and that kid."

[oliversrarebooks]

corporate retreat part 1 / 4

I went into a fugue state and wrote nine thousand words about an overworked corporate drone being brainwashed for their own good.

Masterlist > Next

tw: brainwashing, conditioning, dehumanization, drugging, humiliation, hypnosis, restraints,  corporate culture, weight insecurity mentioned, a little kinky

"Welcome to the Brainwashing Department! You must be today's test subject. We're happy to have you!"

Quinn stared in disbelief at the receptionist's guileless and strangely familiar smile. "You're awfully cheerful about this, aren't you?"

"Well, I love my job," he said without the slightest trace of malevolence. "As I'm sure you know, the Brainwashing Department is critically important to the organization. Without us, we wouldn't have sleeper agents, puppet politicians, memory erasure... and it's interesting work, too. No two subjects are the same." He glanced at Quinn's badge and then at their face. "Say, I recognize you. You're from IT, aren't you? You're the one who always unlocks my laptop when I forget my password!"

Oh, shit, that's where they remembered this guy. Quinn wasn't sure what they found more mortifying: the fact that they'd been recognized, or the idea of letting a guy who obviously didn't know how to work a laptop be in charge of human minds. Maybe he'd been a test subject, and it affected his brain... although considering what Quinn had signed up for, that wasn't at all comforting.

"Yeah, I'm from IT," said Quinn. "Can we get started? I'd prefer to get this over with."

The receptionist laughed. "You seem like you could use a vacation. Good thing you're here. No better vacation than a vacation from your thoughts, right?" He pushed a button on his phone. "Dr. Moon, your test subject has arrived."

Quinn played with their phone and tried not to look like an anxious wreck as they waited for the doctor. This was such an awful idea, but they didn't have much of a choice. 

---

"You used to be my favorite minion. I hate to see your potential go down the drain, and I'd really, really hate to have to put you on a performance improvement plan," their boss had said. "You know, just because we're in the business of underground supervillainy doesn't mean we don't value our employees' mental health. You should take a vacation, recharge yourself."

"I'm out of PTO," said Quinn.

Their boss leaned over her desk with a frightening look in her eye. "Have you happened to see the fliers the Brainwashing Department has been posting?"

Oh, they didn't like where this was headed. "The ones looking for compliant test subjects? The ones promising a $5000 bonus and a month of PTO?"

"Exactly! Doesn't that solve your problem?"

"The month of PTO is just the month you spend as their brainwashed test subject."

"Details," she said with a handwave. "You get PTO and a chance to relax --"

"-- by being drugged and hypnotized out of my skull --"

"--and you'll come back refreshed and ready to work."

"Presumably because you'll get them to brainwash me to be a better employee."

"See, everyone wins!" she said. "I highly recommend that you volunteer."

And that was that. Quinn certainly didn't have the clout to argue, especially when they were at risk of being at the bottom of the stack ranking. You didn't want to get stack ranked in this organization. It usually involved poison in your cafeteria rations.

---

"Quinn? You're a volunteer for brainwashing testing, right?"

Quinn looked up to see a middle-aged woman wearing the aquamarine jumpsuit of the higher-status employees, along with a lab coat and a pair of enormous round glasses. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail and she had a strangely warm smile given her profession. 

"I'm Quinn, and yeah."

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Dr. Moon," she said, holding out her hand for a shake, and her hands felt warm as well. "Thank you for volunteering. It's critically important that we have adequate testing subjects for refining our process, before we have to use the techniques on important targets. So many employees are frightened of our department, even though our work is really quite pleasant. You don't have anything to worry about, though. I promise that your mind is good hands here."

"Good to know," they said. "Hopefully I can give you some good data." It really wasn't the competency of the Brainwashing Department that worried them -- they'd seen their results firsthand. If anything, they were perhaps a little too competent.

"I'm sure your data will be invaluable. Now, if you could follow me..." She turned and swiped her keycard at the double doors next to the reception desk, ushering Quinn inside.

They stood in a short, sterile, and blindingly white hallway with several doors on each side and another large set of double glass doors at the end. "Those doors lead to the primary brainwashing floor," Dr. Moon said, gesturing to the end of the hallway. "But first, I'm going to have you go into one of our prep rooms." 

She slid her keycard on one of the side doors, which opened up to a small room with some lockers, a shower, and a bench. "Put your uniform and any personal effects -- except your glasses and anything medically necessary -- in the locker. Then, take a shower using the provided soap and dress in the clothes you find in the locker. Make sure you clip your identification tag to the gown, so we don't lose you."

"Wouldn't want that to happen."

"When you're done, just press the button and I'll be back to guide you to the next phase," she said. "Take your time. We're in no hurry."

Quinn shut the door behind them. They stripped off their sneakers, a pair of socks adorned with little green alien heads, and the gray jumpsuit that marked their middling status in the organization. The hot water felt great as they stepped into the shower, and the soap was pleasantly scented with lavender. It would've been relaxing if the shower hadn't given them a chance to be alone with their own thoughts.

Were they really going through with this? They could've told their boss no, but that would've just ended badly. The terms of the test subject agreement guaranteed that the process would be reversed at the end, but it wasn't like they trusted that. They knew what the Brainwashing Department was capable of. They could wipe any memories they didn't want them to have, they could implant suggestions of being more loyal and eager to work, they could humiliate them in so many ways, they could simply leave them brainwashed permanently... 

Quinn sighed. This was absolutely going to suck, but there was no use worrying. It wasn't like they were going to turn back now.

The provided outfit was a soft blue cotton hospital gown and padded socks. They were quite comfortable, but made Quinn feel entirely too exposed and vulnerable without their familiar jumpsuit. The badge they clipped to the gown had their name, picture, subject number, and a series of codes designating the brainwashing procedures they were going to undergo. Quinn didn't know enough about the department's work to know what the codes meant.

They pressed the button.

A few minutes later, Dr. Moon entered the room. "I hope you had a nice shower. Let's get you into the other room to do a few necessary checks."

The next room was a bit like a doctor's office. "I'll need you to stand on that scale, please," said Quinn.

"Is that really necessary?" They fucking hated this part of the doctor's visit.

"It's not for judgement or shaming, really! We just need accurate weight to make sure the medication dosage is correct. It's for your own safety. You don't even need to look."

Somehow, even the idea of being weighed for brainwashing drugs was preferable to being shamed again. They didn't look as they stood on the scale, and Dr. Moon made no comment.

"Now, if you'll sit on the table for a minute, please," she said. "Let me just check your breathing... your eyes and ears..."

Quinn sat as still as they could as Dr. Moon pressed a stethoscope to their chest and shined a light in their eyes, but they couldn't keep their knee from bouncing.

"Any vision or hearing problems, other than your need for glasses?"

"No."

"Any disabilities we should be aware of? Here in the Brainwashing Department, we pride ourselves on our commitment to diversity. We'll adjust our procedures to accommodate any disability, mental or physical, to ensure that everyone can safely and easily fall under our control."

"Uh. Not that I know of." Quinn most certainly was not going to spill their mental health difficulties to this woman. She'd probably have access to all of Quinn's secrets soon enough... ugh, they'd rather not think about that.

"All right, then. If you're ready, I can lead you to the brainwashing floor and we can get started on your procedure."

"I'm not sure I can be any more ready than I am right now, so..."

"I know it must seem nerve-wracking, but trust me, once we get started you won't be worried at all."

"That doesn't especially ease my worries."

They followed Dr. Moon through the double doors and into the main brainwashing floor. Here, thirty of the organization's brainwashing devices were arranged in neat rows, big plush reclining chairs with restraints and screens and medical tools. They were all currently occupied by people of all ages and types undergoing procedures. Most of the people were half-asleep and watching hypnotic screens, mouthing words under their breath, hooked up to gas tanks and IV lines containing the drug cocktails that made them docile and malleable. Some were being induced, surrounded by staff monitoring their vitals as they went under. Others had a staff member drilling commands into their minds. One woman at the back was thrashing and fighting as the department staff wrangled her into restraints and into a mask.

Quinn had long been desensitized to the brainwashing floor. After all, when you worked for an organization like this one, morals flew out the window with your first paycheck. The work they did was necessary to keep the organization going, and honestly less messy and more humane than some of the other departments. Quinn had had to come here plenty of times to help troubleshoot problems with the machines, and had swiftly learned to tune out the droning hypnotic inductions and sounds of quiet struggle.

But it certainly hit differently now that Quinn knew they were destined for one of the devices. They couldn't help but imagine themselves in a chair, watching a hypnotic screen with a dazed smile and glassy eyes. The idea made their skin crawl with the fear they'd been shoving aside until now. They hated the idea of not being in control, and especially the idea of other people seeing them helpless and vulnerable. But that fate was now inevitable. They weren't kidding themselves about their ability to resist. Dr. Moon would probably turn them into a drooling, tranced-out mess by lunchtime.

At least they'd get some good sleep for a change. Chemically-induced sleep with a side of mind warping, sure, but sleep nonetheless.

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