#they were probably not in a headspace for new groups

[binary5tar1117]

...

[slackerlifewhere]

random thought #1

You know...I had a sudden realization as I'm starting to re-read the novel so I can catch up to the second part (I'm getting really impatient and I just want to read more of their chaos).

Despite how easy he makes it seems, Cale's natural charisma is one of the reasons why a lot of people are quick to trust him.

Like imagine meeting all these distrustful characters (Molan father and son, Choi Han, the kids, Alberu, the dragons) and have them trust, follow, and care for you for the whole story? And he also handles them like it's a piece of cake? He's "scared" but he sometimes lets them get away with doing stuff like a tired old man. Like I know it's a thing that his friends and family are so done with him being a chaotic little shit who faints every few minutes but imagine being in his shoes and dealing with all these dangerous and equally chaotic little shits.

That's basically impossible. It's extremely hard to do the same thing he did. If it were another person, they won't even last a minute with them. They'll probably experience different kinds of trauma or death or worse.

And this guy is completely oblivious to it.

I mean, if you know his past as Kim Rok Soo, it makes a lot of sense but even then, I don't think he was in the right headspace to notice his charisma in his previous world. He's so in denial about himself even in this new world though and I honestly understand why some nobles were so scared of him. Sand Ailan was right. He's like a king.

At this point, I don't know who's babysitting who, especially if you remember the mess Choi Han and Mary did when he was away. Or when Rosalyn did something explosive. Or the kids. Or Ron. I guess it's because he's so extra in the way he does things that it kind of hides how crazy the rest of the characters are.

At best, Alberu, Beacrox, Bud, and Lock are the "normal" ones in the group if you can even call anyone "normal" in this story. You can't change my mind. Even Eruhaben doesn't count. He's also a little shit from time to time and he's proud of it.

[justwonder113]

would you please do a reaction for when other members are being a little too close with their s/o baby bump cause they want to be the better uncle than the other members if that makes sense? like theyre trying to get the baby to recognise all their voices before its born. this would ne so cute ngl and then the member finds their s/o cuddled up with the other member having both fallen asleep on the sofa or some place like that. thanks a lot in advance!

This has to be one of the sweetest and unique asks I have ever gotten. Thank you so much for it!! I'm really terribly sorry it took me this long to write it and it's only Hyung line too. I was in really terrible headspace and I'm trying to get myself out there again. so I hope you understand. I will try to update Maknae line as fast as I can.

Warnings: There's not much to put here but if I missed any please let me know. The baby's gender is only specified in Changbin's. Just pure fluff

Masterlist

Maknae line here

Bang Chan

When you announced to the boys that you were pregnant it was safe to say that boys were over the moon. Hell, the restaurant you and Chan decided to invite boys to and annoynce the news almost banned you from how loud you were being. You were immediately showered with questions like how long you were due, when would the baby be born, if you knew the gender, everything! They were really excited to be uncles.

Ever since one could only imagine how protective they were of you. Chan and the boys did their best to support you in any way, you didn't even have to lift a finger now, everyone kept doting on you and the baby. You were also swarmed with countless questions about the baby, if you needed anything, if you craved anything, if you felt the baby kick and ect... Listening to them alone you already knew that your baby was going to be spoiled rotten. Even though you found it adorable hearing their plans and what great uncles they were going to be, you knew at some point you would have to to sit them down and talk about boundaries. Which was an impossible task! Because now as Innie talked to you (mostly your babybump) all cute and excited how much things he was going to teach the kid and how he was going to bring them with him to the coolest events ever and stuff. He even bought up an idea of maybe even convincing and possibly setting up a deal with Alexander McQueen for having your kid as the cutest model ever, Mind you the baby wasn't even born yet. As the baby of the group who was always babied and doted on he was the most excited having someone small around so he could be this cool reliable hyung to. You and Chan found it absolutely adorable how giddy he was. Heck you even made a promise to him, after convincing him to keep this a secret, much to his dismay and out of everyone's earshot, that he'd be the one to hold the baby first out of the boys once the baby was born.

Chan couldn't help but smile once you saw Innie who normally hated physical contact soundly asleep with his head on your shoulder, with you snuggling next to him all cutely. He couldn't help but to take a picture of you two, smiling, excited the most of all for the baby to be born.

Lee Know

Once you announced your pregnancy everyone was extatic. They all hugged and congratulated you, asked you hundreds of questions they were curious about. You really loved how excited they were for and you were more than happy to answer all their questions even the silliest ones. The evening was peaceful, everyone was here gathered at your house and you were spending lovely time, but everything changed when the fire nation attacked, meaning, someone, you really didn't catch who, but probably Jisung, asked if you had decided who was going to be the baby's godfather, and let's just say the hell broke loose after that, the kind not even the avatar could salvage. One second there was silence the next thing you knew was that everyone kept screaming and yelling at each other. You and Chan watched from afar, thankfully he was mature enought not to cause a scene, which couldn't have been said about your husband who was also yelling some incoherent stuff. Chan tried his best to solve the situation but at some point even he had to get involved in the fight to stop it. Everyone was yapping about god knows what at this point, you sat there on the coutch watching from the couch sipping your drink, praying that your neighbours wouldn't call the cops on you.

Jisung sat down next to you after a while all sad and pouty. The boys were yelling about something else now but you didn't really pay much attention to it. "It's not fair right! I'm Minho's and your closest friend, I should be the godfather right?" You couldn't help but huff out a laugh about Jisung's dramatic outburst. "Really Ji? The fact that I'm the one thirdwheeling whenever you're around my husband, which is a lot I might add, isn't enough for you and now you're coming for my baby too?" You couldn't help but raise your eyebrow at the audacity, Jisung looked taken aback but he quickly gathered himself and gave you the biggest smile ever. "Pretty please?" His eagerness was actually kind of endearing, you couldn't help but laugh. "I'll think about it little homewrecker." You were barely done with your sentence when Jisung basically quickly but also really carefully wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheek very eagerly. You stayed cuddled up like that for a while and chatted for a bit while everyone was at each other's throats. Jisung talked to your bump all excitedly that he couldn't wait to meet them and that he was going to be the coolest godfather ever. Next thing you knew he was asleep still cuddled next to you. How this boy managed to fall asleep in this absolute chaos was beyond you but it was cute. Your eyes met Minho's who only raised his eyebrow at you, intrigued on what went on while he was distracted, you gave him a wink in return. You lovingly stroked your bump, You really couldn't wait for the baby to be born.

Changbin

When you and Changbin announcede that you were pregnant to the boys they were beyond extatic. They were about to pounce on you and give you the biggest hug ever but thankfully Binnie and Chan stopped them in time and warned them to be careful with you. So instead all of them decided to basically jump on your poor binnie, who was on the floor in seconds with 7 bodies on top of him, and hopefully without a concussion.

After that everything went smoothly, the boys tried to be as supportive as ever and helped you in every way they could. Your sweet Husband was also an absolute Godsend. You didn't know what you would do without him. Even now he basically helped you with everything. You really wanted to have a gender reveal party and he really jumped out of his skin trying to make everything perfect. The boys also helped out a lot, all of them were really excited to hear the gender of the kid. Jisung even wanted to place a bet but Binnie quickly stopped him by softly whacking him on the head.

The party went perfectly, your sweet husband even made the impossible possible. It was just perfection. Also everyone was so excited when they heard that you were going to have a baby girl. Binnie even burst out crying while hearing the news. You really couldn't wait for your sweet angel to be born.

You were having time of your life when Hyunjin approached you with the sweetest idea ever. He said that he knew that you still hadn't set up a nursery for the baby and suggested that he could paint the room for you and even showed you some of the inspiration he got from the internet earlier. You couldn't help but tear up at how sweet he was being. It was really one of the cutest and meaningful presents ever. Also he was so cute cute talking about how he wanted to help you create the prettiest room for the baby girl, which would be as pretty as her. You and Binnie almost burst out crying, Binnie couldn't help himself and literally almost smothered the poor boy by giving him the tightest hug ever.

You really were so thankful. You spent almost whole evening talking about various designs and ideas. Even the baby must have been really excited because she kicked for the first time that evening. Binnie and you even joked that it must be a genetic thing being obsessed with Hyunjin. Hyunjin got even more excited after witnessing it, and for the whole evening he talked to your bump about the prettiest colours and designs he was going to use for her room so she could have as pretty room as the prettiest girl deserved. You and Binnie couldn't be more grateful to have sweet people like him around especially when others also chimed in and gave you their ideas too.

Hyunjin

When you first announced your pregnancy to Hyunjin poor boy almost fainted, but once the news set in, he was more than overjoyed. He was on top of the world and since day one he was set on for giving your baby the best life possible and to spoil them rotten. You couldn't help but find it endearing how he thought about making every moment special and memorable.

He even planned the most dramatic and over the top way to announce your pregnancy to the boys and family members. He made custom envelopes with custom shirts and letters, ordered the cake which had your due date written on it with see you on top of it, ordered the best drinks and food. Also ordered most beautiful flowers. He was so excited to announce the news he wanted everything to be really beautiful and elegant, maybe it was a little over the top but it was made with taste and what's important with lots of love.

Everyone was over the moon once they heard the news, all of them congratulated you and wished you all the happiness. Hyunjin was over the moon he looked so happy like this was his greatest achievement ever. You couldn't help but tear up everything was so beautiful about this day.

All of the boys were so excited to become uncles. They already started planning how many things they were going to teach your kid, how many cool places they were going to take them too, how they were going to dote on them and spoil them rotten. The baby wasn't due yet but you already knew they were going to be most spoiled and most loved baby ever.

Out of the boys Felix seemed to be the most over the moon, he was so excited to have the baby around, he could barely contain his excitement. Which showed because in next couple of days you had almost every piece of Louis Vuitton's baby line and he had so many more plans too! Imagine that and also countless many presents from the boys too, it was like there was no space left for you and Hyunjin in your own house from all the boxes and envelopes. Of course you and your husband were more than thankful. But felix was really outshining everyone with his gifts. He even sent you his baked goodies which on you happily chewed on. Baby must have really loved his baking and you were really satisfied too with the devine taste.

Hyunjin kept joking that how would it look if baby was covered head to toe in Louis Vuitton when he was Versace ambassador himself. Felix and Hyunjin even jokingly argued which designer brand was better. They even tried to bring you into the little argument. And now you had a little ongoing bet on which designer brand was going to be your baby's favorite. You couldn't help but smile as you eyed the boys who slept on each side of you soundlessly all smiley and cuddled up to you as if they weren't the ones jokingly arguing earlier. You were really grateful that your baby was going to be surrounded with all the love in the world.

[scoonsalicious]

3.4 Major

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of Bucky's past, minor fluff.

Word Count: 482

Previously On...: Bucky and Lily went out to brunch, and Bucky lied about his upcoming plans with you.

A/N: I'm going to let you all know well in advance that, once I finish posting through Chapter 5, I am going to take a small break from updating so I can write (I'm thinking maybe a week, tops). I've had some things going on recently that have been taking up a lot of my mental and emotional energy, which has prevented me from being as invested in the story as I want to be, so I need to take some time to get myself in the right headspace to where the story just flows out. I'm currently only two chapters ahead, and that makes me nervous, so I would like to build my buffer back up again. So, there will be a pause in updates starting on Tuesday, May 14th, and updates will resume on Tuesday, May 21st. I do hate doing this, and I know that, as a reader, it's so annoying when you have to wait between updates, but it needs to be done in order to provide you with the best story possible. I probably should have taken more time between finishing Unwanted and beginning to post With Friends Like These..., but I was too eager to share it with all of you to wait, lol. I want to be upfront and honest with all of you ahead of time, so I hope you understand.

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

You’d spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon digging up everything you could about Bucky’s trial. At first, you were getting nowhere, not being able to find any information about ‘Bucky Barnes,’ but then you nearly slapped yourself on the head when you recalled Lily referring to him as ‘Jamie.’ Obviously, ‘Bucky’ was a nickname, and once you searched ‘James Barnes + trial,” you were nearly overwhelmed by the number or results you got.

Meticulously, you went through them, as if you were gathering intelligence for a military op. You read all about his history in World War II with Steve (which, admittedly, you sort of already knew about from Nat), but things took a turn when you discovered he’d been declared MIA: Presumed Dead, only to resurface around 2014.

You nearly started crying when you read what had been done to him– the loss of his arm, the experiments, the serum, all under the control of the terrorist group, Hydra. The brainwashing. And you really did start to cry when you read about what Hydra had made him do for them. The assassinations, the murders. Screw whatever Zadie and Rand thought. This poor man was a victim. One who didn’t deserve to spend a moment behind bars. Your heart positively broke for him. 

You were wiping the tears from your eyes when Zadie popped her head in. “Hey, Major,” she said, a devilish smile on her face. “You got a delivery.”

You look back at her, puzzled. You weren’t expecting anything. Getting up from your chair, you made your way to the front reception area. There, on Zadie’s desk, was a beautiful gold bowl holding a live fuschia orchid plant. 

“There’s a note!” Zadie squealed, bouncing on her toes and wringing her hands together in excited anticipation.

Biting your lip, you reached over and picked up the note. Unfolding it, you tried to make out the messy scrawl:

‘Major,

Thanks for bringing some beauty into my life last night. Figure it’s only fair I return the favor. Looking forward to seeing you tonight for dinner. - Bucky’

“Oh. My. God.” Zadie picked up a piece of paper from her desk and began fanning herself. “I don’t care how many people that guy murdered,” she said. “That’s the most romantic fucking thing I’ve ever seen!” She paused. “How did he even know orchids are your favorite?”

“I don’t know,” you said, gently running your finger along the edges of the soft petals. “I guess I’ll have to ask him tonight.” You looked back at the note, rereading it, and smiling. You felt your stomach fill up with butterflies, as though you were a sixteen year old girl again, getting flowers from a boy for the very first time. God, but this man seemed absolutely perfect. 

But you were never this lucky. You couldn’t help but wonder when the other shoe would drop.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[darlingshane]

I’d love to hear your thoughts on why Shane is the best character in TWD 😊

Cause he's my baby and he's hot and I love him and that's good enough of a reason 😂 

But if you want something more logical, perhaps for a lot of reasons people tend to overlook… First, something that always bugs me is how little acknowledge there is of him actually stepping into the role of a leader for months before Rick showed up. As far as I know, no one in that group stepped in like he did. For the few interactions we saw, everyone would come to him for answers, and while he wasn’t always very diplomatic, he had good survival instincts and kept the group safe for months. Perhaps staying at the quarry wouldn’t have worked in the long run, but it was a plan nonetheless. 

He was right most of the time. He figured out pretty quickly how things were after the infection, and adapted a new mindset. He had to make tough decisions nobody was ready for yet, and maybe he pushed too hard instead of giving people time to get into that same headspace. And we see in later seasons that almost everyone thinks in a similar way Shane did, they just have different approaches. 

and it keeps going under the cut...

I recently saw a timeline in a subreddit or somewhere else that said the events from season 1 and 2 happened in the span of 2 or 3 weeks and that's crazy to me. So they were seemingly doing good, and they found Rick, everyone automatically herd to him, and everything until that point didn’t really matter anymore. That really pisses me off that he was just killed a few weeks later because they couldn’t sit down and talk things over. All and that, and despite him being driven for his misplaced love for Lori, he was still loyal to Rick in his own way. Did he question Rick’s leadership? Yes, countless times. Did he also follow his lead every single time? Also yes.

Which leads me to my next point. He also kept Rick safe. In the hospital flashback, he went in and saw what was happening and amidst all the chaos he still tried to get him out. When he couldn't, he did the only thing he could, he locked the door and barricade it. Did he know that would keep him safe? Probably no. He had absolutely no idea, but he was driven by getting them all out, and when he couldn’t get him out, he did the best he could to get Lori and Carl out of town. If he hadn't lied about Rick, Lori wouldn’t have agreed to leave him behind. Again, tough situations led to hard decisions.

And one of the hardest decisions he made was killing Otis to save Carl. He didn’t murder him in cold blood, he was with him until the end, killing him wasn’t something that crossed his mind until the very last second when he had no choice. If he hadn’t, Carl wouldn’t have gotten the care he needed. BUT people tend to paint him as a murderer for shooting him in the leg. It wasn’t right, but it was the only way out at that moment. I recently revisited one of my fics and wrote that Shane sacrificed his soul to saved Carl that day and I still agree with that. I don’t think he purposely hurt someone before unless he was defending himself. And from that moment on, you could see it changed him and didn’t know how to deal with that, which led him to his own demise.

Was he an asshole sometimes? Yes. Did he do or say things in a way I didn’t agree with? Yes. Did I ever want to slap him? Many times. But there was something about him, compared to other antagonists later on the show, that made him more realistic to me. He wasn’t driven by wanting to be right all the time or even being the leader. His misguided love for Carl and Lori, was at its core the things that he cared the most about and that he wanted to protect at all costs. And while I cared for neither, I think it was beautiful of him. 

I can never watch his last moments. For me, he got the right idea at the beginning of season 2 when started considering leaving the group on his own. I wish he had done that, even if that meant leaving the show. 

I’m probably forgetting something here cause I haven’t rewatched in years, but I think that’s it. Like I’ve said, I didn’t pay much attention to him the first time around, I did agree with him most of the time, it was his manners that left a lot to be desired. It wasn’t until my love for Frank got me to go back and watch some of his previous performances that I got to see Shane in a new light. 

In conclusion, he’s still the best character to me, and everyone should love him like I do. Or not. More Shane for me if you don’t. 

[leggerefiore]

If you still want ideas for Volo, here’s one.

Volo’s a villain and people rightfully oppose him, but that negative public image would also apply to his lover too.

You (his partner) probably aren’t treated as badly as he is, but it’s clear that people don’t want to associate with his you, either because they’re against Volo or because they’re scared of him.

How does Volo react to this treatment of you?

(This is also probably a fun prompt to explore with other villains, but you can just stick to Volo if you’d like.)

did some others i thought might be interesting to explore

cw: implied violence, isolation, slight angst

characters: Volo, Cyrus, Colress

💫Volo📜

⭐️ There were similarities between you both that he would begrudgingly admit since the beginning. Perhaps, that was what originally had attracted him to you, aside from the obvious potential of you standing in the way of his plans. The lands of Hisui was isolate and distant, with many groups living among each other with disdain. Outsiders were often brought in with extreme scrutiny and judgement. Especially with a situation as odd as yours. His heart stung in a familiar manner when he saw you sitting alone, rejected by the Galaxy Team and both clans. He knew his intentions were not the purest, but there was a small part of him wishing to give the treatment that he had never received. These similarities would lead to him sharing his ideals. While he would have preferred working alone, you were completely entranced with his promise of a new world without all the sorrow of this one.

⭐️ So he would notice the little things. Judgement was a silent thing, after all. You had been forgiven for everything – another Survey Corps member and that professor carefully explaining your headspace and claiming manipulation. It hurt the blond to see those who so casually cast you aside and judged you harshly take you back in. The harshness towards you would never subside. You attempted to hide it from him, not wanting to spur up his intense feelings, but Volo was more than acquainted with how to go around undetected. He observed everything closely around you. The ways the inhabitants of the village often remarked you with scorn. The Hero of Hisui seemed like an empty title. Rumours of how you had actually aided him clearly spread far and deep. He felt rage at their expressions – something so known and despised by him. The looks he had always experienced in his life.

⭐️ He knew there was little he could do. The blond had gone into hiding after everything, knowing that many would want him dead for what he attempted to do. What he still had the full intentions of finishing. He could only watch and feel his passion reignite with a new vigour. This world… It was far too painful. Not only for him. He needed to find a way to call upon Arceus again. If anyone dared a raise a hand toward you, however, he would definitely intervene. A tall, terrifying blond man would suddenly emerge from some place nearby and restrain them. He will not stand for any true violence towards you. The isolation towards you is nothing new, at least. Everyone had been suspicious of you since your arrival, and now it had only increased. He simply would offer you to fully abandon your life in the Galaxy Team and truly join him. Volo figures that this is the best ending for you both.

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ He had been blinded entirely by his grandiose goals. His new world – He had been so close. So close. Yet, it slipped through his fingers. This horrid world around him had one last final attack on him – to deny him even an escape from it. Staying in the Distortion World to rot away for the rest of eternity had been perfectly fine by him, but the thought of you, his beloved, doing the same sickened him. He knew how desperately you supported him – finding the idea of a world without horrible emotion more appealing than this reality. Your support spurred him to work faster, desperate to make a world where you both would finally know peace. Some small part of Cyrus was concerned with what would make you also agree with his vision, but the majority of him was simply relieved that you would not fight him on this and have your full support.

☄️ He would take notice quickly. The way people avoid you – Old friends and acquaintances cutting contact with little hesitation. The loneliness that began to surround you. He had made the decision to go back to the normal world with you, despite the trials and tribulations to certainly follow. The way people in the general public would shoot glares at you – One woman even attacking you and claiming that her brother had been brainwashed by Galactic. He felt those bitter emotions that he wanted nothing more than to completely eradicate. It was far too cruel. He should have been the target of their ire – not you. You clearly were a victim, driven by love for your partner, not thinking straight. That was what that champion had claimed, but it appeared that had not at all become the common sentiment. Many remarked you as a horrible person, ready to force everyone into a situation that none of them wanted. He could only clench his jaw.

☄️ He acts without hesitation. In any situation in which he is around, and you experience scorn, he glares at whoever dared do such a thing until they leave. Anyone who even dares think to enact physical violence towards you will be shown just how surprisingly fit the Galactic Boss is. The idea of someone hurting you in any way is enough to drive him mad, and he cannot forgive himself for his shortcoming there himself. He had wanted you to be uninvolved in his plans for exactly this reason, yet he allowed himself the indulgence of your support. Part of him wants to curl away back in the Distortion World and give up in everything, but the other half feels more driven to protect you. He would take responsibility. It was all he could do. Maybe… Maybe you both could move away from Sinnoh, but where would you go? Cyrus's mind begins to wander. If he was forced to be in this world… Where did he want to be? The two of you would eventually have a long discussion about this.

🥼Colress🛸

🧪 Had you been exactly supporting Team Plasma? Not really. Colress had not been himself, despite being called the leader of it. Part of him was fully aware of Ghetsis using him, but the other half simply did not care, as long as he got to also work on his research unabated. You supported that – So understanding towards his strong interest in bonds and how to bring out the full potential in pokemon. Colress knew he could put up with whatever madness Ghetsis drug him through, so long as he had that. But… Well, he knew that it would become more and more difficult for you to fully support what he was doing. Your upset over the Opelucid City incident, ever present in his mind. But, in the end, you had supported him, and he was still the acting head of Team Plasma.

🧪 Which meant… Even after the remains of Team Plasma had faded out, and he had disbanded the group, you found yourself under the harsh judgement of those around you. Colress paid attention to you closely after it all, worrying about the worst possible scenarios. Friends seemed less inclined to be around you following it, and most acquaintances had completely cut you out – not wishing to be connected with a so-called member of Team Plasma. You had not been. Colress would not have let you, but how much time you had spent at his side had only encouraged the thought. So, you had people yell at you about having their pokemon stolen or the act of terrorism on Opelucid. A few even dared tried to attack you physically, wanting you to hand over pokemon you did not have. It was all quite traumatic. Colress hated every single second of it.

🧪 He refused to let any of it happen in front of him. His work with the International Police following has cleared him from any possible arrests, and you had been determined to almost be entirely uninvolved. Even though that had been announced, it was clear those affected wanted an easy vessel for their anger. Colress much would prefer they target him over you, but he supposed they were just taking anyone they could. He acts to deter anyone with malicious intentions quite often. A cold glare and a hand on one of his pokeballs is usually enough to scare anyone off, but not always. If someone feels inclined towards violence, he shows a surprising amount of strength and catches them. He really will not accept any horrible treatment toward you. A request to work with a certain Alolan organisation could not have come sooner. You two would be out of Unova, and this would all seem like a bad dream.

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Dressed all in white (Sihtric Kjartansson x reader)

synopsis: When Sihtric and you meet life feels like a dream. Never in a thousand years could you have thougth such heaven could turn into such hell.

warnings: heavy angst, emotional manipulation, hurt/comfort but very little comfort, grief, physical violence, afab reader

word count: 3.1k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @foxyanon @sihtricfedaraaahvicius

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: This is probably one of my darker fics, so please know that it is completely okay to save this and read later if you currently aren´t in the right headspace. If you have recently lost someone close to you please know that eventhough it will suck and it is important that it sucks for a while it will get easier eventually. And if it doesn´t, counceling is always a good option imo

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

It almost felt like a dream now, thinking back to that evening. A beautiful dream you wish would have never passed. But every dream had to end sometime. The end to yours was Sihtric standing by the docks of your hometown after a months long stay, hugging you tightly as he kissed you on the forehead and promised to write as often as he could.

“Do not cry, my love. I will return to you before you know it.” It was the only consolation you got.

That and half of his lord Uthred´s crew. Amongst them, Finan. As Sihtric and you had grown closer, so had the Irish man and you, though in a far more platonic sense. Ever since that night you felt like the dream that now ended began. As you stand there, Finan´s arm around your shoulder. As you wave off Sihtric until the ship is barely a spec on the horizon, you allow yourself to reminisce about the night you all had met.

There had been word of a large group of Danes having come to town all day. No matter where you went you would become privy to whispers about the large group of men. How their leader was a Saxon raised by Danes nicknamed the Dane slayer. The rumours made your mind run wild with imagining how this Dane slayer would look like. All your brain could come up with, was the picture of a beast of a man. Tall, covered in muscles and scars with long hair and a long beard. A barbarian, in short. Which was all but not what greeted you at the tavern that evening.

Long before you set foot over the threshold you could hear the screaming and laughing and music. A big group of Danes had taken over the tavern and in the midst of them sat the Dane slayer himself, Uhtred Ragnarsson, with three of his seemingly closest men. Throughout the night there was an abundance of food and ale, men and women started dancing on the tables to the music and you were no different from them. Finding yourself pulled into a conversation with the Irish man and the Dane, shocked yet fascinated by their stories and in the end, being spun around by them to lively melody after lively melody, singing dancing and laughing until the very ungodly hours of the morning. The two men had you laughing until your tummy hurt and kept you on your feet until your legs ached. When the time came to go home, or rather to choose who to take home with you, your choice fell onto Sihtric. In hindsight you weren´t even sure why your decision fell on him, all you knew was that it was easy to decide. For some odd reason the Danes soul felt like it was calling out to you.

One night turned into many and your choice that fateful night only proved to have been the right one. Finan was sweet to you, but Sihtric was infinitely sweeter. After only a short while you had no room left in your small house for the heap of flowers that he gifted you, he never talked over you in conversation and made a point to include you as best as possible and the best thing was that he listened. He actually listened with great interest, storing each new thing he learned about you somewhere easily reachable in his brain. He was perfect, life was good for a while. If only he hadn´t followed Uhtred back to sea.

Not long after he had left, the letters he had promised to send stopped coming out of nowhere, even though he had just promised to marry you as soon as he came back.

Reams of miles away Sihtric thought and worried endlessly about the same, you had sounded beyond happy about his promise in the last letter only to then suddenly stop writing out of nowhere. That´s when he received a letter that would explain the absence of any writing in all the worst ways.

He was alone when he opened the envelope addressed to him. It´s contents talked about how he had left you behind pregnant, a fact that made his heart beat higher, the overwhelming happiness overshadowed the fact that you had not told him yourself or the absence of any communication for a moment. Only for it to end with his heart sinking into before unknown depths and his vision to veil with tears as he continued reading. There had been complications and you, as well as the child, had died. The paper is crumpled in his fist before he can read the expressions of condolences, he didn´t care for them anyway. The scream that leaves his lungs goes unregistered by his own ears, but it is heard by many others.

Little did he know that at approximately the same time a very alive and unpregnant you received a similar letter. Stating that there had been a disaster too cruel to recount to you, that there weren´t many survivors. However, Sihtric was not amongst them. Leaving behind only tear-stained nights and dreams of what could have been.

It felt like your life stopped the moment you had opened the envelope. An unending numbness filled your body. Each month you had known Sihtric converted to a year of mourning his loss and you weren´t sure what was worse. The longing and yearning for nothing more than to have him back with you under any circumstances, not talking, eating or sleeping at all or far too much. The inner coldness no matter how many layers of clothes or furs you wore, that only got worse the more the sun shone. Or realising that life had to move and allowing yourself to live again. Even in just small ways. The first time you actually ate, slept, went about your day as before, the first time Finan managed to make you laugh for the first time in what felt like forever send you spiralling all over again. But you allowed yourself to be comforted by the Irish man, who had a seemingly way easier time handling the news than you did.

“How do you do it?” You asked him one afternoon as you sat together.

“How do I do what?” Came the fairly confused question back.

“Be so fine to live on without him. Laugh. It feels like he took even the colours of the world away when he died.” You mutter the forgotten context into the room.

“Ah…” Finan makes a quiet sound of recognition, thinking deeply about his next words. “I believe it is because we all have made our piece with the fact long ago. Our lives were never quite as safe as yours, especially out on the sea, where every storm could mean the end if you are not careful.”

“Oh…” You feel stupid for your answer or perhaps even asking the question, but you didn´t know what else to say.

Silence settles over the two of you again like a stone slab.

“It is so hard to believe that he is supposed to be gone and I am still here, having to go on. He was so sweet; he did not deserve this.” Your eyes begin to burn, though you aren´t sure if it is from tears of the past or present.

“I know.” There isn´t much more Finan can answer.

“I love him so much still.” Your voice nearly gives out under the familiar knot that builds in your throat.

“I know.” Finan pulls you onto his lap, to lay your ear on his chest.

The gesture had always comforted you when you cried over the thought of Sihtric leaving one day. He had let you listen to his heart to remind you that he would always be there for you. If not in physical form, then in soul and heart.

“You need only to close your eyes and think back to this moment. Then you will know I am still with you.” Your Dane lover had rasped into your ear and for as long as you thought him alive you lived by it.

When you eventually met a new man, you couldn´t help but to compare him to Sihtric and find he was different in so many ways. Naturally. He was still nice and caring and funny, but even the beating of his heart was different to Sihtrics. Not only because it was there, but the rhythm it drummed against his ribcage was fundamentally so contrasting. The way his arms wrapped around you felt different and you have to confront the fact that things would never feel the same. Yet over time the strong, vibrant pulse began to drown out the steady beat you fell in love with. And so, when you allowed for people to enter your heart again, the wish of being able to be okay with living became a wish to share your life more intimately with the man than before. After all, he had made every effort possible to make you as happy as his former crew mate would have. And though you had sworn to only ever love one man, you were overjoyed when the man proposed to you. Or at least that was how you interpret the way your own heart, which had thawed entirely only shortly ago, beat a few deep pulses before returning to normal. The ceremony is arranged to be held by father Beocca at your future husbands house, your friends help you into the dress, braid flowers into your hair and do their best to calm your nerves and dry your tears. But still when it is time to leave for the ceremony, you are unsure if you are truly ready.

At approximately the same time a boat arrives at the docks. On it Uhtred, Sihtric and the rest of the crew. It had been so long, yet seeing the town made Sihtric´s throat tighten as memories of you flood his mind. He had almost obsessively studied the last letter containing information of your status and it had been too painful to return. But Uhtred was right. He couldn´t let that hurt take control over his life. So now he found himself wandering through the greenfield the two of you had spent so much time laying close, talking about everything and nothing all the same. The tavern you met at. Even just the town square and lastly… your home. Where, if it hadn´t already, all the colour would have drained from the Dane´s face. It felt like a hallucination at first. One that took away his voice and nearly made him fall to his knees. The desperation for the moment to be real wore him down as if someone had slit open his stomach, put boulders into it and sewed it shut again. He stumbles and almost falls multiple times, calling your name until you turn to see him.

“Sihtric…” You whisper and slap a hand over your mouth, getting the attention of the women surrounding you. The bouquet in your hands falls to the ground in favour of them grabbing and lifting the skirt of your dress to pull it up out of the way of your feet. The whispers around are drowned out by a high-pitched ringing in your ears and without having to think about it, your feet carry you towards the only man you ever loved.

Once his arms wrap around you it is like something shakes the fundament of the earth. The world becomes more colourful again, air fully fills your lungs for the first time in forever and the tears that burn in your eyes are for once uncoined by grief, yet the sense of longing, that had plagued your soul for so long, prevailed. The scent of wet wood and musk fills your nose, followed by the comforting undertones of honey and black pepper to soothe your mind.

“You are real…” Sihtric is the one to speak first.

“The much more pressing question here is how you are alive?” You answer, leaning back in his arms to look at his face as your hands cup his face. Even feeling the skin under your finger pads couldn´t completely convince you that this moment was real.

“Me? How are you still alive?” Sihtric´s eyebrows knit together tightly, the frown on his lips deepening further in confusion.

By now a small cluster of people had collected, watching the reunion and whispering behind their hands a small distance away. In search of an answer, you turn to them, hoping to find your future husband, so he could give an explanation, but he seemed to still wait inside. Unaware of what was going on. Unaware of what was going to happen soon.

“Me? You were the one that stopped writing first. And then I got a letter that said… It said that you...” It´s too hard to actually say the words, but Sihtric understands nevertheless.

He is just about to say something, when the door to your home opened and Finan stepped out, assumingly to look where you were, eyes widening at the sight of his friend. Yet there is no time for any more reunion feelings, as the Irish man is closely followed by your husband to be.

Sihtric´s eyes widen in understanding before yours do and you have a hard time holding him back, but the men just have too much strength. The Dane lands a hard punch in the man´s face, splitting his lip with his knuckles and drawing some blood. There are screams heard from the crowd and immediately a handful of men have to pull them apart before anything worse happens.

“Stop it! Stop it this instant you two!” You scream repeatedly at the top of your lungs, yet it still takes a while until the spirits have been calmed enough to at least have the two men not struggle against the men parting them anymore.

However, there is no way to get an explanation from anyone as they continue to scream at each other from a distance. Spouting insults that you had never heard before in your life.

Then Sihtric silences everyone with three powerful yet simple words. “Make the square!”

There are protests from several of the men, but in the end, everything goes all too fast. You are frozen to the ground you are standing on, so Finan pulls you aside. Sihtric presses a kiss to your lips and mutters a promise that your brain is unable to register. All you can focus on is the weapons being drawn. Your brain doesn´t even register the hot tears that stream down your cheeks and stain the fabric of the dress. The first sound of the blades meeting each other, has you burying your face in Finan´s chest, resounding in your ears horrifically. You can´t stand to watch most of it, shaking and flinching with every sound of blades clashing or pained scream. You have to force yourself to watch eventually when you can´t deal with the anxiety and uncertainty anymore. Frantic eyes searched for Sihtric. Finding him, covered in dirt, blood and panting, but still standing and to your relief with a good chance at winning. Though you don´t allow yourself to cheer like the others yet. There is still too much shock in your bones, too many unresolved questions plaguing your mind. You manage to get so caught up in your thoughts, that you only come to, when the fight seems to be close to over. Luckily in favour of your one true love, which now stands above the man you were about to marry, a dagger you hadn´t noticed the Dane carrying before, to his throat. From the distance you can see the raw fear in the man´s widely opened eyes and rapidly rising and sinking chest, clawing at the Danes wrist to get him to let go of the weapon to no avail. That fear quickly morphs to relief, exhaled in a deep breath and relaxing facial features, when Sihtric puts the dagger into the ground beneath his head, the blade sticking out upright. Only to morph back into the purest horror just as quickly as before, when the first fist swiftly comes down onto his face. A crack can be heard when the knuckles make contact with the bridge of the nose, thus breaking it without even batting an eye.

Air suddenly floods your lungs in a gasp at the cracking sound, but silently find yourself cheering on your one true love more and more as time passes. Your own body doesn´t listen to you anymore. Your eyes are dead focussed on the sight of his fist making contact with the face over and over and over again, even long after the resistance had stopped and he had clearly won as his opponent’s face was nothing more than bloody pulp. It was gruelling, haunting to see, but your head would have refused to turn away even if you had wanted it to. So, you continue watching and watching and watching until it becomes glaringly clear that Sihtric is not going to stop anytime soon. You aren´t the only one to have that realisation, it glimmers in Finan and Uhtred´s eyes as well. The two men pull their friend off the lifeless body and you are by his side in an instant. Cupping his face in your firm, but gentle hands, your eyes searching his until they make contact and in the corner of your field of vision you see the way his chest rises slow down.

“You have to stop now. It is over.” You urge him in a sore voice falling to your knees in front of him. “You won. It is over now.”

The Dane looks deep into your eyes, allowing your voice and words to soothe him, yet the anger took the ability to think clearly or speak from him still. Finan and Uhtred let him go and you can fall into his arms again without a care in the world about the pristine, white dress becoming dirty as well. All that matters is feeling Sihtric in your arms now as you keep murmuring to him. His entire body starts to tremble under the familiar touch and so does yours. You squeeze your eyes shut and pull him in tighter. You have trouble believing your own words. It doesn´t entirely feel over yet. Fear still gnaws on your heart, that he could vanish from your hold to leave behind nothing but a cloud of smoke and the pain of being awoken from yet another dream tricking you into thinking things hadn´t resolved in your favour. Fear that it was real, but he would be taken from you one day once more. The two of you likely couldn´t be further from having won. Or else, you think, the tears that now flow freely down both your faces to wet the others clothes wouldn´t be so bitter.

[ronnie-quinn]

The Tiniest Digital Circus

Book 1: Stitched With TLC (Tender Loving Care)

Chapter 1: The Big Test!

“Today’s adventure is…‘The Tiniest Adventure Ever!’” Caine announced to the circus members as the text—“The Tiniest Adventure Ever!”—appeared above him. The text was in alphabet blocks, and there were baby essentials around it.

The group stared blankly at the title.

“Is this some type of babysitting adventure?” Pomni questioned.

“Oh, God, I can’t stand kids…” Zooble rolled their eyes. “Last time we did a babysitting adventure, those little s**ts took my pieces and bit my arms.”

“Actually, you guys are the little ones!” Caine corrected before laughing maniacally.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jax asked.

“Each of you will be taking a classification test-”

“Wait, a test? We didn’t study for anything!” Kinger panicked.

“No need to worry! Classification tests aren't worth a grade per se. A classification test is a personality test to see where you fall under the age regression umbrella! ‘What is age regression?’, you may ask. From my digital research, age regression, a therapist-approved coping mechanism, is when an individual’s mind reverts back to a younger headspace due to trauma, stress, and more! Regressors do activities that they did when they were little, such as playing with toys, reading children’s books, coloring, anything that takes them down the memory lane! There’s not just age regressors, no, no. There are also age dreamers, pet regressors and dreamers, caregivers, flips, and more!”

The circus members looked at each other, then back at Caine, baffled at what he was talking about.

“I’m sorry, you want us to act like crybabies to cope with the adventures you’re giving us? It’s bad enough there’s already one right here,” Jax scoffed as he pointed at Gangle.

“I know that this seems strange, but for the past couple of adventures, you guys looked like you’ve gone through a little more than anticipated,” the ringmaster explained.

“A little?” Pomni raised her eyebrow.

“Which is why I have the perfect idea to help you calm your minds and revert back to simpler times after going on such big adventures!”

Caine snapped his fingers, making a portal appear. He then pushed the circus members into the portal, transporting them to an elementary school classroom. There were test packets on six desks.

“Can I skip out on this?” Zooble grumbled.

“Sorry, Zooble, but this adventure is mandatory for everyone.“

“Of course it is…”

“I promise that this coping mechanism will help you out in the long run. Besides, some of you might be caregivers, looking and caring after little ones,” Caine said as he snapped his fingers again, making anti-cheating folders appear on the six members’ desks. “Now, do your best, my magic xylophones, and answer honestly!”

Caine then exited the classroom as the portal closed up.

Pomni stared down at her test, which read “‘The Tiniest Adventure Ever!’ Classification Exam.”

“This adventure’s not going to have any of us scarred at the end, right?” The jester questioned Ragatha.

“Well, I’m not sure, but from what Caine explained, this is probably a lot more tame than what we’ve been through,” the ragdoll replied. “Even before you showed up, Pomni.”

“I still don’t know why we have to do this…” Zooble huffed. “Caine’s up to something.”

“You know, for once, I agree with you,” Jax stated. 

“I’m just hoping to God he’s not a f**king caregiver…”

“I don’t think Caine’s taking the test,” Kinger said. “He’s already busy with his ringmaster job.”

“Maybe this adventure could be fun,” Gangle assured.

“No one asked for your opinion, rugrat,” Jax said rudely.

“Will you shut the f**k up so we can get this stupid test over with?” Zooble glared.

“Why don’t you make me?”

“Guys, calm down,” Ragatha spoke up before any fight could ensue. “This is new for all of us, but there’s no reason for us to argue. Besides, this regression stuff doesn’t sound as bad as any of us think.”

Zooble and Jax rolled their eyes as everyone began taking the classification exam.

Pomni looked at the questions on her test.

“How do the adventures make you feel?” 

“What helps you calm down?” 

“What do your friends say about you?” 

“How do you like to ‘waste your time’?” 

The jester felt a pit in her stomach when she saw the first question. She could remember when she felt frightened when she first put on the headset. She could remember Caine taking her on an overwhelming tour of the circus. She could remember Kaufmo abstracting… Ragatha glitching out… Ragatha… Ragatha was the first person to help her calm down. She was her anchor when things got stormy. Pomni couldn’t remember if she had a family, but the ragdoll was like a mother figure to her. Ragatha forgave the jester when she abandoned her for the exit door on the first day. Pomni, however, felt like she didn’t deserve her forgiveness. She still doesn’t.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ragatha asked as she gently tapped Pomni on the shoulder. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Pomni replied. “It’s just the questions.”

“It’s okay. Just answer honestly and do your best, like Caine said.”

“Hey, Caine said no cheating,” Jax interrupted.

“No, he didn’t. Besides, we’re not cheating” Ragatha argued before turning back to Pomni and giving her a comforting smile. “Just don’t overthink it and answer the best to your ability.”

Pomni smiled back a little before returning to her test.

————————————

The next day, everyone was relaxing in the main room, talking amongst themselves.

“Mail’s here! Mail’s here!” Bubble announced as he appeared out of nowhere, startling everyone.

“Your results from yesterday’s test came in, my curious caterpillars!” Caine added as he arrived. The ringmaster snapped his fingers, making six colorful envelopes appear. He then handed the envelopes to the circus members. “I want to say that no matter where you are under the regression umbrella, you deserve tremendous amounts of love and support!“

The circus members opened their envelopes, their reactions being mixed. Pomni, Jax, and Zooble were shocked by their results, Gangle and Kinger were content with theirs, and Ragatha was a bit stunned with hers.

————

Pomni - Regressor (65%), Sibby (35%)

Ragatha - Flip: Caregiver/Guardian (50%), Babysitter (33%), Regressor (17%)

Gangle - Regressor (50%), Pet - Turtle (50%)

Kinger - Caregiver (40%), Guardian (30%), Babysitter (30%)

Jax - Regressor (55%), Sibby (45%)

Zooble - Flip: Babysitter (50%), Regressor (50%)

Divider by @abc-pupy

[graceshouldwrite]

4 Ways to Get Back Into Your WIP

You know when you might have taken a long break, worked on other projects, talked to other people about it, and basically did EVERYTHING to get yourself back into it, but it’s not working?

Even though you still want to LIKE your WIP and work on it? 

These tips are based on my own experience dealing with that feeling. I went through something like that for around a year, but now, I’m getting past it and returning to my main WIP more excited than I’ve been for a long time! 

1. List out WHAT you don’t like and fix it

COMMON CORE ISSUES:

Plot + Subplots? 

They might seem too (among other things):

lackluster

complex

unnecessary

confusing

You might not know how to:

develop the plots

make them believable

add the scenes you want without giving the book 800+ pages

choose scenes to cut to fit the word count goal...

Characters?

A BIG ONE: some writers try to force themselves to like X character for whatever reason (e.g. based them on a specific aesthetic, felt forced to add specific rep, etc), but they just DON’T. 

Or, maybe:

you don’t know how to develop your characters

their group dynamic is too difficult to write/doesn’t make a lot of sense

your character voices, personalities, or appearances might not be distinct enough

Prose?

You might:

want to add more humour (prose is too depressing and atmospherically dark)

want to add more gravity (prose is too comedic and romantic)

want to shift from past to present tense, want to tell story from another POV, etc. 

Organization?

OFTEN, the book’s just TOO COMPLEX with all the characters, subplots, etc. and it’s too intimidating to try to sort out all the mess that’s your WIP 

SO…

The lists I gave you are most of the big, common issues. Once they’re sorted into SPECIFIC types of problems, don’t they get less intimidating to look at? 

I know you might think, gee, Grace, these problems will take [insert comically large time frame] to solve. 

Well, if you genuinely want to like your project again and work on it, DO IT.

Slowing down your WIP finish date is worth it if it helps you get back into it. If you never get back into the project, you’ll NEVER FINISH IT. Late > never.

Heck, you might not even be too late—you might find yourself back in the passionate fever you were when you started it, and be in the headspace to write furiously :) 

I think you know how to solve these broken-down problems. Some require more sheer line-editing, while others require big executive decisions (e.g. getting rid of a character or rewriting an entire subplot/the plot). But, it will be worth it when you start to love your project again.

2. Remember why you started it 

Before each project, write a STATEMENT OF PURPOSE at the beginning of your doc to remind you why you’re writing this story in the first place. If you didn’t do this, it’s not too late to start one now! 

It could be something as close to heart as “I want to express how unrequited love feels,” or something as grand as like “I want to write a tragic allegory of the political and economic state of the world that explores human nature” (I am projecting in both of these examples, but you get it). 

Something SPECIFIC is a lot better for this than things like: “I told X this story idea and they liked it,” or “I promised to write this for X,” or “I want to tell this story just cuz.” These latter examples probably won’t fill you with passion. 

3. Listen BEYOND your WIP playlists. Look at images BEYOND your WIP aesthetics 

Many people think revisiting your old playlists / boards help, but that often contributes to the staleness!!!! 

Instead, by purposefully expanding your scope of consumed media, you open yourself up to more inspiration and ideas of where you want to take your project.  New images and new songs will give you new ideas on atmosphere, mood, scenes, and so much more. 

4. Compare your WIP to a similar book you like

You know THAT BOOK that comes to mind whenever someone asks you which book is your favourite/impacted you deeply? Think of how your book will impact readers in the same way. All the emotional turmoil and mental enlightenment That Book gave you is what YOU will give to the readers who resonate with YOUR book one day!

The author of the book you’re thinking about went through drafts, edits, and maybe even wanted to give up at some point, (LIKE YOU!) but pushed through it. Now, their book is on the bestseller list/on a bookshelf/a classic (whatever appeals to you)!  Don’t stop before YOUR book is there, too. 

∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘

instagram: @ grace_should_write

A LOT of this comes from personal experience; I had this mental tussle with my main WIP a while back, so I hope this helps anyone else dealing with the same problem :)

Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated <3333

Happy writing, and have a great day!

- grace <3

[tigergirltail]

Intruder in the System - Abstraction

"Synchronization achieved. Opening cognitive gateway. Five entities entering."

The synthetic voice of the Subconscious Mind Integration system rang out across the constructed virtual space, causing the assembled headmates of the connected systems to look towards the opening doorway.

"And that must be Alexis. Wonder what took her so long to connect?"

"Nerves, probably. It IS her first time."

"God, I remember our first time, she's in for a trip."

Through the glowing doorway, a series of silhouettes came into view, resolving into cohesive figures. A shorter woman, dressed in bright flowing robes with a circlet in her stark-white hair. A hunched-over bespectacled figure with blue hair peeking out from the hood of her comfy sweater. A tall and imposing armoured woman with long red hair and piercing, angry eyes. A purple-haired woman in a dark and elegant dress. A little girl with a bow in her blonde hair, seemingly trying to hide in the shadows of the taller figures.

Looking around the area, the five of them experienced their first exposure to a shared headspace, an abstract realm constructed by the combined wills of all the minds connected to the SMI session. The immediate area was a grassy clearing surrounded by trees, with various sorts of outdoor furniture set up for socializing, but in the distance was a skyline of a futuristic city, and the sky took the form of a starry night, with a number of colourful moons and planets clearly visible - a truly alien sky. Despite the apparent night-time appearance, the area was as well lit as if it were the middle of the afternoon.

The area was bustling with activity, as well. An entire crowd of headmates, alters, facets, fictives, all mingling and conversing, some of them just getting to know one another, others conversing like long-time friends. In one area, a strange masked figure sharing a quiet moment with a wolf girl. In another, a pink catgirl engaged in conversation with a fictive of Shadow the Hedgehog. Compared to this eclectic and varied group, the arrival of five apparent humans seemed utterly mundane.

Several of the more social among the nearby figures walked towards the new arrivals, offering welcomes and introducing themselves. The robed woman immediately took point, directing all of the socializing towards herself.

"Okay! So, introductions! I'm Hope, the one in the hoodie is Jade, the angry knight is Aurora, our resident goth is Lilith, and the little one is Ailsa! That's… That's A-I-L-S-A, not the princess from Frozen."

A cacophony of 'nice to meet you's and 'thank you for existing's followed, as the gathered headmates began to socialize. Hope and Lilith took to it well, while the other three were varying levels of apprehensive about the situation.

"So… no offense, but which of you is Alexis?", asked one particularly forward alter after a little bit of conversation.

"It's… complicated.", Jade answered uncertainly. "All of us are, but at the same time none of us are. Alexis is the vessel, the framework we all fit into. In a way, she's -"

"One entity entering." The synthetic voice called out again, interrupting the socializing and causing all conversation to be replaced with confused murmuring.

"No other bodies are connecting, who's…?"

"It didn't mention a new gateway, was there an alter staying behind?"

All eyes were on the cognitive gateway as a new figure entered the area - a tall and somewhat plus-size woman with long brown hair, dressed in a dark t-shirt and a long skirt. She had a distant and disconnected look in her green eyes, as if all higher thought had fully abandoned her.

"…Alexis?", asked Lilith. "But… how are we there, when we're already -"

She was interrupted by the new arrival collapsing the moment she crossed the threshold into the shared abstract space.

There was a collective gasp from the gathered systems. Hope rushed towards the fallen figure and knelt at her side, hands already glowing with healing light, then shrieked and recoiled backwards when the body started… glitching. Chromatic aberration, bursts of static, mismatched geometry, practically every unintended visual effect under the sun began tormenting the body.

"Uhhhh that's not supposed to happen, is it??" Jade was half asking herself and half asking the rest of the alters she had been in conversation with. Several of them were already shoving in to get a closer look.

"No, dear, I don't think it is!" Lilith turned to Aurora as best she could with a panicking Ailsa clinging to her leg. "Aurora, Jade, crowd control please! Hope, you've been distinct the longest, do you know what this is??"

Aurora began moving to interpose herself between Alexis' unstable form and the onlooking crowd. "You heard her! Give us some space or I WILL start taking it!" A handful of other system protectors took the hint and maneuvered to help form a barrier between the crowd and the scene.

Jade turned back to Lilith from her place at Aurora's side. "What are you going to do, Lil??"

"I'm… I'm not sure yet! Give me a minute here!" She turned to the child still holding onto her for dear life. "Ailsa, darling, I'm going to need you to stand back, go be with Hope right now, okay?"

Ailsa nodded silently, tears of worry in her eyes, and ran to Hope's side, Hope quickly leading her away from the fallen vessel and towards the crowd of onlookers as Lilith reached out for the fallen form of Alexis.

"What's happening?", an alter asked Hope once she was past the perimeter Aurora and Jade were establishing.

"I don't know.", Hope answered. "The whole, Alexis, she's never manifested in headspace, so we weren't sure if -"

"NEVER manifested in headspace?" The alter was incredulous. "Don't you switch out?? How do you communicate??"

"Look, it's… Our system is different, the five of us pass around control, but Alexis isn't a headmate, she's a shell!" Hope looked back at the glitching body with concern and anxiety, her eyes going wide as a realization struck her. "She doesn't know how to create a cognitive appearance…" She took a step back towards the body and shouted. "Lilith, I know what's happening! She's never been in a fully abstract space before, her cognition can't handle the unlimited possibilities!"

Lilith turned and stared towards Hope. "You mean, it's sensory overload?", she asked.

"More like cognitive overload, but maybe it's the same sort of thing! Can you force a shutdown??"

"I… can try."

Lilith's hands began to twist and extend into hideous claws as a creeping darkness began to climb up the rest of her body, aging and tattering her clothing, leaving her face gaunt and pale, her eyes now emitting an eerie glow, like distant lights through fog. Kneeling down, she laid her taloned hands on the fallen and glitching body and began quietly speaking.

"Just… let go. Let go of your effort, let go of your thoughts, embrace nothingness. Come into the dark…"

"She's doing the thing, isn't she?" Aurora was very consciously averting her gaze.

Jade nodded. "She's doing the thing."

Aurora winced. "I hate when she does the thing."

By now most of the gathered headmates had fully backed off, but many were still looking at the situation with concern and apprehension. A few more had gathered around Hope, as she at least seemed to be willing to answer questions.

"…She used to be our depression." Hope was answering a worried question about what exactly Lilith was doing to the fallen Alexis. "Sometimes she still is, when her will slips. It's… terrible, but there's no cure for an overstimulated mind quite like, well… emptiness."

"Look, it's working!" Ailsa had peeked out from around Hope to see what was happening. Jade and Hope turned to look as well, and sure enough the glitching around Alexis' body was noticeably reduced, replaced by a deep, dark shadow spreading out from Lilith's claws.

"Just… STOP." There was a low, gravelly quality to Lilith's voice. "Stop THINKING. Stop TRYING. Stop EVERYTHING."

"Might be overdoing it, Lilith…", Aurora protested, her back still turned.

"Shush. I'm working."

The darkness fully covered the last of Alexis' form, and Lilith withdrew her hands. They were in fact hands now, as Lilith was quickly returning to her typical presentation.

Jade abandoned her post next to Aurora, as calm seemed to have somewhat returned to the situation, and walked up to Lilith. "So what happens now?"

Lilith took a moment to breathe. "If I did it right, her cognition will reset, and she'll settle into a form derived from her most baseline mental processes."

"…And if you didn't do it right?"

"I'm… just going to hope I did it right."

Ailsa had walked up as well, and was gently holding one of the unconscious form's shadowy hands. "So if none of us are in there… Who's she gonna be?"

Jade turned to Ailsa. "That… is a very good question. Well, uh, her higher-level thought processes are all us, so without those she's basically a collection of autonomous processes and raw instincts. You know, pain response, perception of movement, need to eat and drink, that sort of thing."

"Oh. Like an animal?", Ailsa suggested.

"Yeah, like a…" Jade's eyes went wide and she slowly turned to look at the body. It was… shifting. Changing size, shape, form, to something… different. "…Oh."

"I know that 'oh'." Lilith turned to Jade. "What did you figure out, dear?" By now Hope and Aurora had returned and were watching the scene unfold as well.

"The answer to one of the questions that we've had for a long time. We figured out we're therian ages ago, so why -"

"Why do we all still present as human…", Hope interrupted.

Whatever re-shaping seemed to be occurring had slowed, and Lilith's shadows were melting from Alexis' form as her mental presence rebooted, revealing white fur, dark grey stripes, a long tail, paws and claws, and a feline head.

"Baseline processes…", Jade repeated. "Like an animal…" She shook her head and pinched her nose with a hand. "I should have seen it, her higher thought processes, everything that defines her as a person, it's all US! WE'RE her HUMANITY!!"

Aurora winced. "And when we crossed the threshold from the airlock, we took her humanity with us."

A renewed wave of curious and confused murmuring emanated from the assorted headmates of other systems as they observed this development.

And then Alexis woke up, and climbed to her feet - her four feline digitigrade feet. Still uneasy and unsteady, she stumbled to the closest figure - Ailsa - and stared deep into her eyes.

"…This is weird…", Ailsa whispered.

Alexis suddenly let out a happy chuff and gave Ailsa an affectionate headbutt. This one was a friend. This one was nice.

Ailsa cautiously reached out a hand and scratched the giant cat behind an ear, causing her to let out another happy vocalization.

The tension of the environment seemed to evaporate some as the situation had apparently stabilized. Some of the alters watching were concerned at having witnessed such a massive change in self-visualization, others were cautiously interested in getting to interact with the giant cat. Alexis was wary at the sudden attention and let out a few growls when the interactions were a little too familiar a little too quickly, but over time she settled comfortably into the role of a big friendly tiger.

"Awwh, she's so cute like this!"

"I know her sona's always been a white tiger, but I feel a little weird about this…"

"The whole point of SMI is to let us interact as our true selves, right? …This is Alexis' true self."

Meanwhile, Hope and Aurora were off having their own conversations with other headmates and facets, and even Ailsa was managing to shyly talk to some other inner children. Jade, though, was hanging back, brow furrowed.

"You've got that look on your face." Lilith's comment shook Jade out of her concentration.

"Wh-what? What look? I don't have a look."

Lilith took position next to Jade and wrapped an arm around her in a half-hug. "You absolutely had a look, dear. Whenever you're trying to solve a complicated problem, you get The Look. We're supposed to be having fun, so what's eating at you?"

"Just… should have seen this coming, I guess."

Lilith gripped tighter and pulled Jade into a full hug. "Listen, dear. I know between your analytical mind and my intuition we're practically precognitive, but even we aren't going to see everything coming."

"I should have known…"

"And what would you have done different, had you known? What consequences would have been avoided? We had a little bit of a scare, that's all." Lilith released Jade from the hug and pointed her towards the crowd. "Now look over there."

The scene was one of mirth - headmates and alters and facets from all the systems connected to the SMI session, sounds of laughter and happy conversation, and roaming through the crowd, a large white tiger, receiving all the attention and affection and species affirmation her therian heart could desire.

Jade allowed herself a little smile. "She IS cute like that…"

"You see? It all worked out." Lilith grinned. "Now let's go hit up that snack table."

"…You know it's not actual food, right? It's just the abstract concept of food given simulated form."

"You and I are both abstract thoughtforms as well, is there even a difference for us? Now don't be a spoilsport, I'm sure there's a very lovely sense of logic or organization we can get you to socialize with. That crystalline fairy over there seems quite nice, she's from the same system as a witch I've been speaking with."

The celebration continued on, scenery shifting as each entity left their mark on the shared headspace, and all too soon, the warning sounded that the session was about to end. Fond and tearful farewells were exchanged, with promises to do this all again soon, and then, each system's respective alters and facets left for their airlock spaces, and the shared headspace was once again no more.

Moments later, in the physical world, an attending operator was helping the human body that was Alexis out of the Subconscious Mind Integration machinery. All of the other systems in attendance were able to take care of themselves for the most part, but re-integrating multiple minds into one brain was always an ordeal for a first-timer. Even with the cognitive airlock having functioned as a buffer, she found herself gagging and retching as a subconscious reaction to the onslaught of memories and emotions and sensations.

"It's okay, I've got her." One of the other systems had walked up and was helping Alexis stay steady on her feet, helping her walk to a nearby cooldown room, somewhere with dim lights, sound-proof walls, and comfortable furniture, intended to minimize sensory input for minds that were having difficulties with the re-integration process.

Still in a mild daze, Alexis found herself being walked to and sat down on a sofa, and wrapped in a blanket. Her faculties gradually returned over the course of several minutes, but she was still pale and trembling.

The other system was sitting on the sofa with her, doing their best to help her readjust and reorient. "You're going to be alright, just take it easy for a bit and focus on your breathing. The first time is always a rough one."

"Hrrrrggh…", Alexis groaned. "Still trying to process having SIX points of view crammed back into my skull… Thought I was gonna be sick when I got out of that pod. Nearly WAS…"

"Well, now you know why they tell first-timers not to eat anything for eight hours leading up to it."

"Ugh… Speaking of food, I'm pretty sure one of your alters hand-fed me a steak while we were in there." Alexis pulled up the blanket, burying her face. "Fuck that's embarrassing… Can't believe I went full cat-brained…"

"Your protector aspect also punched someone, don't forget."

"WHAT??"

"Sorry, sorry, I'm just messing with you, that didn't actually happen, but I've seen it happen in another session with a different system. We had to sit them down once we got back to realspace and have an improvised therapy session about it."

"Holy hells… What happened next?"

"A whole lot of guilt, a whole lot of repressed feelings, and a little bit of ugly-crying."

"Mmn… I think I know the feeling."

The other system reached out and placed a hand on Alexis' back comfortingly. "I'm just trying to say, there are worse things that can happen in SMI than letting yourself be cat-brained. You looked like you were having a good time, too, and none of us thought we'd ever get to give a tiger head-scritches."

"I mean, I did have a good time I guess, it's just…" Alexis sighed and closed her eyes. "I didn't realize how much of myself I'd be showing in there. It's so much more… intimate, than I was expecting."

"…Do you want to do it again?"

There was a long pause as Alexis breathed and turned her mind inward, listening for the voices of her facets:

"I had fun!" "Yeah, I had a good time too." "It was… nice, to truly exist." "What do you think, little one?" "Let's go again! Let's go again!"

Alexis opened her eyes again, calmer, with a smile on her face. "Yeah. I think we do."

"Next month, then." The other system stood up and offered a hand to help Alexis up as well. "The rest of us were going to grab dinner, once you were feeling better, and you do look a lot better. Want to come with?"

Alexis accepted the hand and got to her feet. "Yeah, that steak was really nice actually, I kind of want a real one now."

"Do you want us to hand-feed you again?"

"Pfff, you shut up."

"Hey, if we're going to keep coming to SMI together, you need to get used to being cat-brained, I'm just saying!"

"Okay, yeah, maybe, but don't forget it's all of us back in this body now!"

Sharing a laugh, they left the cooldown room for the lobby together, where all of their system friends were waiting.

---

Inspired by Intruder in the System, a short comic story by @deadeyedfae, also featuring cameos of a few systems I know personally.

[dykedvonte]

what do you think Danse does to keep himself busy after blind betrayal, specifically if he's living in sanctuary? I just love your takes on him a lot haha

I think Danse is very lost in any settlement but especially Sanctuary. It was the first and very close-knit at that with the small group the Sole Survivor founded it with. Each time they would invite a new companion to live there it was like adding a pillar to the community and represented what the Minute Men stood for when it came ot uniting and protecting the commonwealth as one. I am not going to say it's cliquey, in fact I feel like SoSu and Preston/Sturges would go out of their way to make newcomers feel welcome but for Danse that is very different.

He (from my playthrough experience) is one of the later companions. I ran around a lot and got a good portion of the companions and their quest before act one was done. He is also one of the few companions who openly thinks lowly of life in the commonwealth and certain citizens (if not all citizens to an extent). He did not introduce himself to Sanctuary to make friends or roots. So when he gets stuck there under the SoSu's "orders" (not letting him rot in sorrow in some random bunker) he doesn't have any comfort or companionship, in fact, I think he has more tensions and beef tbh.

I imagine the first weeks or even a month or two were rough. I don't think it is stated enough that like Danse went to that bunker intending to follow Brotherhood protocols and kill himself. SoSu may have convinced him not to in the moment but with someone like Danse, so rigid and stuck in an ideology even after it spits in his face, it's not unlikely he has a weird guilt about being alive at first. It doesn't help that I know in my heart that a few of the more petty or insensitive companions or settlers would tease him about it (playful meanness) thinking he was adjusting well (or not caring) to the Sanctuary life and coming to terms with his identity. Sometimes they go too far and it's easy to tell he's gotten back into the headspace, looking at his reflection, trying to remember concrete dates for his memories, etc..

I have this head canon that SoSu recognized this pattern as they had to have immense survivor's guilt (especially after being in Kellogs brain) about surviving the vault. They had the same idea about making things "fair" for the other vault dwellers and Shaun was the only thing between them and those thoughts for a while. For the first weeks it was a lot of SoSu monitoring him and making sure he was adjusting and not falling back into that thinking, y'know the whole "I am a disgrace and abomination against the Brotherhood and humanity. The only thing I can do to no longer sully the honor of either is to kill mys-" Like stopping that with minor distractions.

It would be a lot of small work and building projects and patrols for lost scavengers or to make sure no one is stalking the place. It's nice for him for a while, he's getting social interaction and he's not dead in the eyes of at least one Brotherhood member, especially one of as high rank as the SoSu. But it's also really unhealthy. Danse was trained and raised in a militaristic pseudo-religious faction. As much as there seemed to be casualness towards comrades there was a strict structure and order. He shoves the SoSu into that role and probably gets nick-named as their shadow during this period.

They are his only goal as he has nothing else and it shows bad. The rest of the settlement notices he trails after them and only really does his own thing when it's part of a task he was doing for, with or assigned by the Sole survivor. It's not an obsession with them specifically but he has lost his entire understanding of life and this is the one thing that stayed concrete. He does what he's asked of because following the Sole survivor has at least kept him belonging somewhere and why mess that up?

I am sure SoSu is not oblivious and is actively trying to figure out how to get Danse to start socializing and trying to actually settle into the community but for the time being Danse would treat himself like the machine he perceives himself as; Overworking himself as he believes machines don't need the same amount of rest, isolating himself and mostly trying to not have a mental breakdown every time he get into the power armor that is very much not his issued Brotherhood of Steel tech. He openly does this in respect of the General who hates it and makes everyone else uncomfortable.

this was very long just to say I think Danse just works himself to the bone all day and purposely puts thoughts in his already fragile psyche that everyone hates him and only tolerates his presence to not seem Synth-phobic and the Sole survivor's favor.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @mk-writes-stuff!

Favorite Character Poll

Rules: post brief descriptions of some characters and a poll, then get people to vote on their favorite

I think this would be a fun way to introduce some of my Starbreaker characters, so that's what I'll do!

Character descriptions under the cut :)

Faalgun is a little (three and a half feet tall) dragon guy with the distinguished air of a military officer and the level-headedness of a fighter pilot. He's the pilot of the RS Starbreaker, predictably, and also serves as its unofficial captain. Keeping the ship and crew running smoothly is a full-time job, but he does it gladly. However, his honor-bound demeanor masks a craving for adrenaline and a serious addictive personality. Faalgun has a crippling gambling addiction and was killed in life by loansharks he couldn't repay. He seeks redemption by completing this quest to the edge of the solar wheel.

Nyda is an elf, a transwoman, and a certified punk. She hates authority, is supremely unorganized, has a mouthy temper, and will rail against any perceived injustice. In her life, she failed to live up to the expectations of her family of famed mercenaries, so she became an astronomer instead. This haunts her, though. She believes her astronomy is pointless because she's not the warrior she should've been due to her cowardice. Her death came after traveling to the Next-Door Land to study the stars there and immediately getting hunted for sport by a pack of Fair Folk.

Kaulakri, a halawemavish selkie, is Nyda's opposite in every way. She's neat, meticulous, rigid in her beliefs, compassionate in a blunt way, and probably more than a little autistic. She is also Nyda's contemporary by four hundred years and serves as the RS Starbreaker's cartography. Mapping is Kaulakri's passion, and she would like nothing more than to complete a map of the solar wheel. In her mortal existence, she died trying to map the Janazi Isles, catching a deadly flu before she could return with the completed product. She will never again fail in her quest to put every piece of land onto paper.

Pash is a bit of an oddball in the group. He's not Illari, but one of the Fair Folk. His Contribution, his express purpose for existence, is music, and while he does love music, he also has a passion for travel. He took several jobs as a honeytongue, leading to his post as the RS Starbreaker's negotiator. Though generally laid-back and kind, Pash inhabits a headspace particular to the fae. He does nothing if it isn't pleasurable, and will do anything in the pursuit if pleasure. To the fae, everyone is out for their own happiness alone, so you can't get mad when someone hypothetically kills you for playing an unpopular song in a tavern. They were looking out for themself, just like you look out for yourself.

Anarac is the quietest and most mysterious of the group. He hides for most of the time and barely speaks when he isn't. No one recognizes his lineage as the Araunian people have been extinct for millenia. The rest of the crew is unaware of his true purpose as their expert on End, the starry demon bearing down on the solar wheel that the gods battle eternally. Anarac is such an expert due to the fact that he was End's vessel for much of his life. The demon forced him to wreak much carnage and punished him terribly when he refused, and even when he died, his soul remained a part of End for thousands of years. Simply put, Anarac does not want to be on this boat in space. But he will protect his new friends with his unlife if it means keeping them safe from the demon who tormented him so.

Gonna tag the whole gang so this gets votes ;)

@amandacanwrite @elsie-writes @riveriafalll @kosmic-kore @kaylinalexanderbooks

@bard-coded @carrotsinnovember @patternwelded-quill @somethingclevermahogony @whatwewrotepodcast

@the-angriest-author @mk-writes-stuff @frostedlemonwriter @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @watermeezer

@leahnardo-da-veggie @mr-orion @televisionjester @ray-writes-n-shit @evilgabe29

@trippingpossum @tragedycoded @halfbakedspuds @ominous-feychild @cain-e-brookman

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

so this happened a while ago but i still feel quite a bit of guilt over it and i’m honestly wondering whether i was in the wrong or not. i’m almost 18M now but i was 15M at the time (almost 3 years ago).

at the time of the pandemic i (15M) got very bored in quarantine and ended up making online friends with P (17NB) and later G (18NB) after P introduced me to G after the two had talked for a considerable amount of time.

the three of us were very close for a long time (this was the first friend group i’d had that referred to me as he/him, additionally as i had very little experience with online friends before now, and because P and G were both also trans like me it felt more comfortable).

P and G began dating after a while and met up once or twice, but as i live further away from them it was more difficult (additionally my mother was very restrictive on having online friends, so this was kept from her).

i had a very big puppy crush on both of them at this point but kept it to myself. however i did feel confused for a bit as although they were dating, P and G would tease me a little bit, calling me ‘good boy’ and sending me screenshots of them teasing each other ab their kinks then calling me a voyeur, stuff like that— in a teasing way, not in a genuinely flirting way but it made the crush a lot more intense for me.

P and G dated for almost a year but towards the end things started going wrong (at the end of the relationship, P started talking about how he didn’t feel attracted to G anymore because G wasn’t a cis man and didn’t have male genitalia. which came off as a little weird to me as both of them were transmasc?) but they agreed to part ways

they broke up soon after and i kept in contact with both of them seperately (probably not the best decision as P would constantly talk shit about G in a group chat even months after they broke up which i didn’t like). but P ended up suddenly talking to me and saying that i was talking too much to G, then giving me an ultimatum of either i stop talking to G or they wouldn’t talk to me anymore for their own mental health

this also happened on new years which just put me in the worst headspace i’ve been in ever. i ended up saying no, blocking P and telling G about it (even though G was a little disappointed that i’d been given that ultimatum in the first place and we just ended up not hearing back for a long while

the only reason something started up again was that later, a mutual friend of ours mentioned they had seen P post some concerning things on his story on instagram (about cutting off toxic people, more stuff about G, but also suicidal ideation kinda stuff on his close friends) and i realised i still had access to his vent account (which didn’t have a lot on there but enough that it would probably make the average person worry a bit).

G was worried about P even though they’d broken up and asked me to send him some screenshots of the vent acc’s newer posts so he could relay them to his family and hopefully get some help. i sent maybe three or four posts over and G sent the posts to his mom who then had a conversation with P. i then got a lot of messages from P calling me a horrible person and saying i was wrong, which i was really confused and stressed over because i genuinely thought i was doing the right thing and some of the things P posted were scaring me a lot. P’s two friends also messaged me later as well, calling me vile and saying i was horrible for doing what i did

i ended up apologising to P later because the guilt was eating me alive and i couldn’t take it anymore, and we ended up civil as the only thing we’d really talk about from that point was writing ideas for their blog, but then they decided to send me a random ‘congrats, you ruined my life’ emoji meme which made me really confused because i thought we were okay again. we haven’t talked for ages now but idk. the guilt gets to me sometimes and i think maybe i might’ve been horrible without realising because i genuinely wanted to help……. basically aita for sending the screenshots to G?

What are these acronyms?

[quitealotofsodapop]

I love all the ideas and your response has given me some more to chew on for this au ty. (I might have already sent this but I'm not sure it sent but if it did i am sorry for the double ask)

[Wukong spending the Journey getting hit by all the symptoms of pregnancy during those 9-14 years.] the morning sickness is def the worst for him.

[Many foes back off just by the tired firey glare in the King's eyes.] his presence alone is usually able to get most of them to back off, but for those who were still going to risk trying a tired "I am running on 2 hours of sleep, crippling isolation and lonliness, and I haven't been able to keep any food down for three days, I am not in the mood" glare is enough to sen them running for the hills.

[Wukong never managed to tell Macaque about the Egg in that lifetime.] this fact breaks Wukong's heart, and it breaks Macaque to when he later learns that was with child the whole time because having a peacful life and a family was all he really ever wanted.

[He's convinced that the Egg's presence at the Samadhi Fire was what caused the Rings to Split and hit Ao Lie.] I was thinking that during the Samadhi fire ritual the egg suddenly started "kicking" and despite his attempts to not let it affect his performance the pain is what causes him to slip, allowing the ring to split. he absolutely blames himself for this.

[By isolating himself, he accidentally causes his body to *turn down the heat* and extend the process even longer.] he's gonna be so mad when he finds out thats one of the reasons it took so long. but maybe it was for the better, with no support group it would have been difficult to raise the egg on his own. the egg was "no troop, these are not prime baby raising conditions, i stay here longer", like giving Wukong time to find a safe and loving situation to give birth in.

[he geniunely believed that keeping MK whilst the Stone Egg was still draining life force could kill the cub. So SWK is forced to give the little toddler up to save his life.] again, as unfortunate as it is, perhaps for the better. even if not being adressed for the right reasons at the time Wukong knew he wasn't in the position to be caring for someone so young at that point, and the fact he took measures to ensure that MK still got a stable and loving home to grow up in says a lot about how even if he couldn't provide for MK he already loved him. the lack of being in the right headspace to care for an infant is also probably another reason for the egg to "turn down the heat", not able to be mentally there for child, child says in womb till he can.

[When him and MK finally reunite, its a little awkward but MK immediately understands the reason for the Monkey King's retirement.] does MK remember Monkey King, or is it a "I just met an actual god/my fav hero of legend and their pregnant" kind of awkward?

[MK, thinking its a bad breakup situation: "oh ok. I guess you're owed some long-overdue paternity leave, huh?"] this is funny if you remember the fact that this likely wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Wukong and Macaque actually having a bad break up, causing Macaque to leave and Wukong to lose the one thing keeping his body from triggering the egg making process. in a way, it is a bad break-up situation, just not exactly in the way MK thinks.

[MK only asks about the schematics on the Egg after Wukong makes a comment about being "like this longer than even Lao Tzu's mother".] Wukong def brags that he's had the longest pregnancy out of any immortal now.

[He returns to Pigsy's that evening silent with a horrifed look on his face.] the rest of the gang notice, they ask, MK explains what Wukong told him, and now everyone is silently horrified for the rest of the night.

[The Spider Queen can sense that theres a new life within the King, but she decides its an issue for after the takeover.] Wukong is kinda surprised when she doesn't instantly try and use it against him, she just responds that she still has some honor. this does not stop her from draining his power though. Wukong's far more concerned about a certain other demoness present learning about his egg...

[DBK frees himself, not only from the fear of losing his wife and his son, but also out of fury that Wukong had been hiding his condition for so long!!] he is not happy to learn that Wukong put his egg at risk with Samadhi fire situation and by fighting him, or that Wukong had hidden it at all from him as his sworn brother. and also with the webs draining Wukong's power it was putting the little one at risk, can't let that happen either, not if he has something to say about. DBK def learns about it because he overhears the deeply concerning conversation between SWK and LBD while their tied up, him being tied up close to Wukong and all.

[PIF demands a proper baby shower when she hears about it from her excited husband later.] PIF sitting at the dinner table, reading a book and eating while she waits for her husband and son to come home: why do I hear loud footsteps getting rapidly closer? DBK busting open the dining room door with Red Son tucked under his arm: DARLING WE'RE GONNA BE GODPARENTS!!!! PIF & Red Son: WHAT? cue a very excited bull king explaining everything to them

[but becomes concerned when his Sun refuses to fight in any way that leaves his stomach exposed.] protecting a specific part of the body usually means there's a vulnerability there, but Wukong didn't fight like he was injured, Macaque knows what that looks like and that wasn't it so now he's confused. the only other kind of vulnrability he could think of invovling one's stomach that would make them seem bloated as well as make them want to get away from the fight as fast as possible is if he was pregnant, but that can't be the case here can it?

["The Shadow Play" becomes more a plan to trap the Monkie Kid gang for answers. MK spills the beans. Macaque stares blankly for a minute before yelling in frustration. It's too much emotional baggage to process right now!] he lays awake for nights on end trying to figure out if its really what he thinks it is with the little evidence he has, and then he just can't take it anymore and sets up the play. trapping the gang in his lantern and threatening MK until he spills, MK does and even though an answer is what he wanted it takes a moment to process that he had been right, then he lashes out when more questions came to mind. how? when? for how long? who's the other parent? MK frees his friends while Macaque is lashing out and they make a break for it, they escape before Macaque can threaten more answers out of them.

[now with the additional threat that she will harm the Stone Egg if Macaque fails her again...] Macaque might not have answers about the egg, but it's still Wukong's egg at the end of the day. sure just the other day he'd been totally fine with the idea of killing the guy but now... was there still hope he could have the life he wanted with his Sun? even if he couldn't he could never bring himself to knowingly harm his former lover's unborn infant. Wukong ofc doesn't know this at first, and gets really worried about Mac getting involved. he doesn't want to have to choose between him and his egg ever again, but he will if he has to. the problem is avoided entirely when (much to SWK's surprise/confusion) Macaque straight up acts like doesn't exist while hunting the gang in s3. for this subtle blessing SWK is relieved and grateful.

[Macaque breaks the King from his possession by casually placing a curious hand on his swollen stomach, smiling in a way Wukong hadn't seen in centuries. "I know," is all that is said as the two monkeys allow their foreheads to touch.] it's such a simple thing, but it's a certain type of soft kindness he hasn't felt in years, that he missed very deeply, the domesticity of it, makes him feel like his moon really is his again. he bursts out crying and almost sends them both to the ground when he collapses into Macaque for a hug.

[LBD is unexpectedly destroyed by the Stone Egg itself. She did not count upon the Egg recognising her as a yummy source of spirtual energy as she was possessing it's parent.] egg was hungry, and SWK was feeling drained after being possessed, LBD was right their and strong and had hurt the egg's parent. so LBD gets nommed on. naturally.

[MK is a little disturbed, but glad that the demoness is gone-gone.] the can't see it happen, but they all feel an absurdly powerful force emanating from SWK suddenly tearing apart and absorbing LBD's soul. everyone's a little shook up by that one. Macaque: did- did the egg just- SWK frozen on spot, with a nervous and tight expression: *exasperated inhale* yeah... everyone else: oh gods there was also a little concern that eating LBD whole soul would have consequences.

[Until the newly unpossessed Monkey King doubles over in pain and cries for the Bodhisattva to help him. Guanyin is on the scene in seconds, glaring at her little brother angrily. Half the gang stare jaws dropped at what is happening while the rest are panicking.] everyone was chilling, settling down and gtting some food after everything, SWK was feeling the most content and happy he had in ages as he refused to anywhere other then glued to Macaque's side, and the egg was like, "I just got a massive meal, and the whole troop is here now, guess it's time to come out now". Wukong surprisingly casually sits up and tells Ne Zha to go get Guanyin, NOW, being the patron god of infants, he quickly realizes whats going on and bolts for the south sea, the others clue in and start freaking out at this point too. Gaunyin is not happy at SWK for putting himself and the egg at risk with both the Samadhi fire (again, they also tried to warn him off it the first time) and with fighting LBD alone, but thats a conversation for after the egg is born, hatched, and healthy. Tang's fanboying over meeting the Guanyin is stifled only by the painc of egg on the way.

[After many hours of painful labor with Macaque clutching his hand for support, Wukong *finally* greets his baby for the first time.] Wukong is def squeezing so hard at one point that Macaque thinks his hand is either gonna break or pop off, it doesn't do either, but it is numb by the end of it. Macaque gladly would do it again if it meant getting to be there when the egg was born and hatched. Wukong def jokingly tells his newborn that she "sure kept them all waiting".

[Her dark fur is hard to ignore. As well as the ice-blue eyes that stare between the two monkeys with wonder. And the little excited chirps she makes that sing the tune of Wukong's favorite songs.] the ice blue eyes are from the last minute bone demon meal ofc, but what if the dark fur actually comes from Wukong's longing to be with macaque as a family again, and those feelings during early pregnancy were so strong it changed the infant's appearence in order to fit not just Wukong but his desires/emotional needs (that being having the family Macaque always wanted with him). Macaque def cries when she has dark fur like him, makes him feel more like he's possibly a bio parent. Wukong is def in love with everything about his little one, down to every little sound she makes. I like to think he would talk to the egg whenever he was alone while pregnant, and was also always humming to them, maybe the infant somehow knows some of those tunes he was humming and tries to mimic them fresh out of the egg.

[Yuebei Xing is celebrated across the many Realms as the first Stone Monkey to be born from a Stone Egg in milennia. Gold Star comes down from Heaven in person to bless her arrival.] they jokingly thank Gold Star for being too busy to oversee Wukong's punishment, because if he had Wukong likely wouldn't be holding the most precious ball of fur in his arms right now.

[singeing Azure Lion's fur as he goes to take the Jade Emperor's throne. All present, including members of the Brotherhood, laugh at the coincidence.] it's hard not to laugh, given the coincidence. the only one not laughing is Azure, who just saw his life flash before his eyes.

[Yuebei's whole family are willing to *destroy* the divine animals if even dare touch a single hair on her little head.] knowing Azure, he's either fantasizing about Yuebei being Wukong and his infant, or plotting how to use her for blackmail. or both. either way Wukong's none too happy to learn who's got their hands on his little one.

[The retrieve Yuebei after they enter the palace and see the three usurpers beaten to a pulp. The infant monkey rolling around on her butt as she giggles. Azure begs the crew to "please take her back".] Azure was perhaps a little too lost in his triumph and day-dreaming to notice the ultra powerful infant he was holding beginning to grow restless and playful, one of his many mistakes. especially seeing as she had little to no strength control at such a young age.

All in reference to the core "slow boiled stone egg au" post.

You did send a less detailed version of this ask a few days ago, I just hadn't gone through my inbox enough XD

I love the detailed responses though! It's nice to see so much interest in my silly aus!

[the morning sickness is def the worst for him.]

Based on my previous ironic pregnancy headcanons, Wukong occasionally gains a food adversion to his fave fruit ever; Peaches. Some days his brain/body just decides "Eww no. bleh. Spit it out right now" and the nausea hits him hard. Wukong is dismayed whenever it happens.

["I am running on 2 hours of sleep, crippling isolation and lonliness, and I haven't been able to keep any food down for three days, I am not in the mood" glare is enough to sen them running for the hills.]

[-this fact breaks Wukong's heart, and it breaks Macaque to when he later learns that was with child the whole time because having a peacful life and a family was all he really ever wanted.]

[the egg was "no troop, these are not prime baby raising conditions, i stay here longer"] + [the lack of being in the right headspace to care for an infant is also probably another reason for the egg to "turn down the heat", not able to be mentally there for child, child says in womb till he can.]

Pretty much yeah!

Stone Monkeys only have this backup for the absolute last resort when things are at their worst enviroment-wise. No mate, no troop, no support system, no mental health = Egg ain't moving. Think of it like the formation of a geode - it can do it either over a natural couple of centuries, or in a few months with intervention.

"Asleep" Stone Monkeys who are still buried know that they're unlikely to ever be recovered, but their egg can still be found by other troops and hatch in response to socialization even thousands of years on.

However, "Awake" Stone Monkeys with an Egg cooking need to have an active support system in place for the baby's development to progress faster/less riskily. By shuting out the outside world, all Wukong did was accidentally set the Egg to "sleep mode".

Sadly, even if Wukong was wrong and his body identified baby!MK harmlessly as a troop member - SWK simply wasn't in the mental headroom to raise a whole baby without someone to help him.

[does MK remember Monkey King, or is it a "I just met an actual god/my fav hero of legend and their pregnant" kind of awkward?]

The second one mostly. MK honestly can't remember his earliest memories beyond the sight of SWK's egg fragment + possibly Nuwa, and thats with supernatural help.

In a slightly sad note, it's possible MK *remembers* being held by someone soft with a round belly + gold eyes. He assumes throughout his life that this person was his birth mother before he was given up/orphaned.

[this likely wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Wukong and Macaque actually having a bad break up]

MK is right in his own way XD

[Wukong def brags that he's had the longest pregnancy out of any immortal now.]

Wukong's been carrying the egg since the Journey days, about the Tang Dynasty (690-907 AD)/irl Xuanzang's departure in 629. So that Stone Egg been slow boiling from anywhere between 1394 to 1116 years. 0_o

Either way SWK has beaten Lao Tzu/Zi's mom (pregnant for 62-80 years), and def brags about that fact to whatever immortal will hear.

[DBK def learns about it because he overhears the deeply concerning conversation between SWK and LBD while their tied up, him being tied up close to Wukong and all.]

DBK overhears LBD making threatening references to Wukong's conditon and immediately interrupts her villainy bs to yell at his sworn brother.

(inside the giant Spider Mech) LBD: "All will fall into place soon. Even with the unexpected additon of your... future heir." *guestures hand around SWK's stomach* DBK, furious ans still wrapped in web: "WHAT!?!? HEIR?! SUN WUKONG!! Are you so reckless that you'd fight even when your unborn child could have been harmed!?" Wukong, wrapped in less-tight web: "Not the best time DBK. I can handle it." LBD: "Quite. Then again it is all in char-" DBKm interrupting: "REALLY BROTHER?! YOU DIDN'T TRUST ME TO KNOW!? If I was aware of your condition - I would have never dared to invoke your anger! Even my beautifully ruthless wife would agree with me!" LBD: *glares at DBK in annoyance* "Ahem." Wukong, ignoring her: "I couldn't let you guys know! Look, I've been fine on own for centuries now!" LBD: "Exc-" DBK, super-concerned: "CENTURIES!?! WERE YOU WITH CHILD DURING THE RITUAL!?!" *DBK busts out of his bindings and gently grabs SWK* DBK: "LADY GUANYIN WILL TAN BOTH OUR HIDES WHEN SHE HEARS ABOUT THIS!" LBD: *gives up and leaves*

[DBK busting open the dining room door with Red Son tucked under his arm: DARLING WE'RE GONNA BE GODPARENTS!!!!]

After the initial shock wears off, PIF immediately summons a catalog to look for baby shower supplies. This is a monumentous occassion! She ofc assumes it's Macaque's fault (she's not wrong XD) and that this might be her future sworn niece/nephew! She simply must organise everything for her idiot sworn brother and his mate!

Red blinks in confusion before confronting the Monkie Kid gang about it later. Mei demands PIF's contact details right that second so that they can swap party ideas.

[even though an answer is what he wanted it takes a moment to process that he had been right, then he lashes out when more questions came to mind. how? when? for how long? who's the other parent?]

Even with knowing how Stone Eggs works, Macaque has such a mental 404 error at the news that he's reduced to yelling garbbled questions at the gang until they leave awkwardly.

[...was there still hope he could have the life he wanted with his Sun?]

Macaque spends most of S3 trying to bat away any thoughts/predictive sounds of a happy domestic life him and Wukong cna have together.

[it's such a simple thing, but it's a certain type of soft kindness he hasn't felt in years, that he missed very deeply, the domesticity of it, makes him feel like his moon really is his again. he bursts out crying and almost sends them both to the ground when he collapses into Macaque for a hug.]

I just love this image. The possession being broken by Macaque expressing softness, his vunerability, to Wukong. And the possessed King snapping out of it since he's so conflcitingly overwhelmed by the joy of having his Moon back again + the weakness he feels.

[egg was hungry, and SWK was feeling drained after being possessed, LBD was right their and strong and had hurt the egg's parent. so LBD gets nommed on. naturally.] + [the can't see it happen, but they all feel an absurdly powerful force emanating from SWK suddenly tearing apart and absorbing LBD's soul. everyone's a little shook up by that one.]

Yuebei's first immortal kill is in fact LBD, preformed before she was even born. Once the switch "flipped" on the possesed SWK, the Egg recognised LBD as both a threat to her parent and a tasty source of Dao, hence; nom-nom-nom.

All thats left behind of the ancient bone demon is a picked-clean skull. The Ten Kings and Yama feel this hungry act from beyond the Realms and wonder *what* creature could have created such a great power vacuum.

[the egg was like, "I just got a massive meal, and the whole troop is here now, guess it's time to come out now".]

Ah, a fellow party crasher, just like her baba. Wukong and Macaque can barely enjoy the bowl of noodles they've stolen (in good humor) from MK when Wukong's face just drops from a shift in his body.

[Tang's fanboying over meeting the Guanyin is stifled only by the painc of egg on the way.]

Tang: "Oh gracious Buddha! The bodhisattva Guanyi herse-- oh gosh this is a lot grosser than I was expecting..." *gets woozy and hides face in Pigsy's chest*

[but what if the dark fur actually comes from Wukong's longing to be with macaque as a family again] + [Macaque def cries when she has dark fur like him, makes him feel more like he's possibly a bio parent]

Oooo! Wukong's emotional need to be reunited with his mate was so great that it impressed upon the Stone Egg itself.

Imagine how much crying would be involved if little Yuebei just so happened to be born six-eared as well? Macaque and Wukong would never stop sobbing over how cute their baby is!!

Macaque is still very much assumed by the demonic/celestial/mortal public not in the know of Stone Eggs, to be Yuebei's other bio parent. Hard to refute their claims when the little Monkey Princess has such lovely midnight-dark fur and glowing ears.

[I like to think he would talk to the egg whenever he was alone while pregnant, and was also always humming to them, maybe the infant somehow knows some of those tunes he was humming and tries to mimic them fresh out of the egg.]

Thats so super adorable I love it! <3

Wukong loved talking to the Egg when he was on his own on the island. He'd talk to it about what his old Pilgrim brothers were like, what happened in Heaven, his early days on the mountain, and how much he wishes to be there to see all the little havoc's she'll cause in the future. He def recorded a tape + wrote letters to Yuebei before she was born ala "For Steven" in Steven Universe... just in case his immortality didn't work in the end.

Babies can hear things going on on the outside irl as early as 14 weeks along - it's how they become acclimated to the voices of their family. Little Yuebei spent so much time in the "final run" hearing show tunes, action movies, and the voices of Wukong's new found family/troop that she thinks theses are all "good noises"!

As Yuebei looks around at her "troop" she tries matching a "good sound" to them. Everyone is just aww-ing at her tiny chirping mimicry, and burst out laughing when she gets to Pigsy and makes a deep sound they swear sounds like "freeloader!".

Her pre-natal eavessdropping does however, lead her to fall asleep to the heavy metal soundtrack of the Monkey Cop series. XD

[Azure was perhaps a little too lost in his triumph and day-dreaming to notice the ultra powerful infant he was holding beginning to grow restless and playful, one of his many mistakes. especially seeing as she had little to no strength control at such a young age.]

Yuebei decided that "Kitty" wasn't playing with her, wasn't holding her right, and wasn't even singing to her! And she wanted to make her frustrations known.

I love these mass responses, even if it takes some time for me to reply. Ty so much for your interest!

[m0nster-babi]

Bunny

Regressor! Bruce Wayne/Batman, Flip! Caregiver! Barry Allen/Flash

Fluff, short but sweet

This is not tied to any particular incarnation of Batman/Justice League. Very text heavy rather than dialogue. The stuffed bunny mentioned is based on the Autism Rabbit from Plushie Dreadfuls (I have one)

Warnings: none

Batman is a very imposing man. He was generally quiet and usually answers in short sentences or grunts, yet when he did speak, like during briefings or interrogating criminals, all eyes follow to him. Granted, he didn't even need to speak; you feel the room change when he walks in. What that change is can be based on who you are or how well you know him. For some, it's fear. Others feel safety.

There was just an air to the man that's impossible to ignore.

Right now, though, he didn't feel very 'imposing.'

. . . He was adorable with how he squirmed a little in his chair, and had a blush able to be seen past the edges where his cowl didn't cover the bottom part of his face. Barry wouldn't tell him that at this moment. But his reaction to a stuffed bunny really was just jarringly cute.

"Do you like it?" Flash asked, accidently slipping into a tone a parent would use on a kid. He was so close to adding 'Buddy' onto the end of his question, but had enough will to restrain himself. His tone alone still had Bruce squirming a bit more and curling in on himself, but kept the bunny clung to his chest.

The bunny in question was a yellow bunny with big, round eyes, and on its chest was a rainbow infinity sign. The inside of its large, drooping ears were a teal and had white infinity signs all over the inside. It was an Autism-themed bunny that Barry had seen online and, strangely, thought of Bruce. One of the first things Batman had opened up about, way back in the day, was that he was autistic after getting a bit snappy at the Justice League all day. He got some time alone to cool off, but decided to explain himself before he left, that he was overstimulated. Barry, the ADHD maniac that he was, completley understood, and since even felt a kinship that left him one of the most understanding of Batman in the group. The rabbit was very bright and cutesy against the Emo Bat facade, but it still made Barry think of B, which makes it a good gift to give for a belated birthday.

Turns out he was right, but in a way he didn't initially think. He's currently the only one of the team (maybe aside from J'onn since he could read minds) that knew Bruce was a regressor. Barry regressed too sometimes; he learned of it through a therapist and did enjoy it. He's even dropped along with Bruce and they played together as Alfred watched them both, but he equally enjoys taking care of people. Right now, he could feel the Caregiver Headspace knocking at his skull as he watches Brucie slip at the mere trigger of a stuffie.

"Whatcha' think your gonna name them? Hm?" He questioned a little teasingly. A BabyBat was too precious to pass up, so might as well dive into it.

Bats started hiding his face with the rabbit, but it couldn't hide the undignified whine of protest.

"Aw, sweetheart! It's okay to be small!" He crouched, holding himself up with his hands on his knees. "No one else is here right now. Just me and you!" He giggled as he accentuated the last word with a forceful boop on the bunny's nose that Brucie could probably feel it through.

The Bat finally lifted his head up to look at Flash with another whine.

"There you are! I was starting to wonder where you went! Aw, don't look so pouty, Mr. Grumpy Gump!" He reached for B's neck to tickle him, which was a success due to the lack of armor making up the cowl. He would NEVER attempt this on Big Bats, but Little Bats had the cutest giggle. And the most pinchable cheeks. And an easy-to-steal nose, which had Bruce smiling and making grabby hands trying to get his 'nose' back. He was starting to babble, which gave Barry a good idea of how young he was.

"Why don't we go show Alfie your new friend?" The question had Brucie enthusiastically nodding, as he got up from his chair. He reached for Flash's hand, which was more than happily accepted.

[creature-wizard]

This is probably rude question, feel free to skip it since I'm not the kind to demand personal essays from strangers.

But, why paganism/occult/witchcraft/wicca/spiritual at all? Sure placebos exist and it's cool to honor the earth but...look at that list you made yourself of awful things that come from assuming inner experience has some kind of weight or bearing on the physical world. I guess traditional tribal stuff would be okay if you're in that group, it's more cultural, but I don't know about deliberately trying to create traditions. I feel like that's how you get cults

Source: has seen all the cool people I knew into the above go right wing conspiracist. Also, covid related batshittery.

Hey anon, I don't think your question is rude. In fact, I've grappled with this kind of thing myself when in a bad headspace. Sometimes it's easy to look at all the bad stuff that's been motivated or justified with various forms of spirituality and think that it might be better if we just got rid of it all.

But the thing is, "religion" and "spirituality" encompass many different things, and in some cases it's very beneficial to people's mental health. If we just took it all away, we might be doing significant harm to people. Also, what are we going to fill the resulting void with? Many people have a strong drive to explore and experience spirituality. That's not just going to go away.

And another thing is, eliminating spirituality and religion won't eliminate cults; people will just make cults around different things. The social environment around cryptocurrency is notoriously cultlike; people trust the rich techbros to know what they're talking about when they basically claim that crypto will save the world, even though all evidence suggests otherwise.

It also won't eliminate batshittery. Literally any form of batshittery that can be justified within a spiritual worldview can and will be justified within a "scientific" one. The HAARP conspiracy theory, for example, is a modern "scientific" take on the old conspiracy theory that witches were causing storms with evil demonic magics.

COVID/antivax batshittery is likewise fully capable of thriving in a "scientific" context. You don't have to believe in supernatural forces to believe that there's an evil conspiracy trying to poison us or sabotage our DNA.

Spirituality also doesn't require one to assume their inner experiences have weight or bearing on the external world. Like, it's a big thing in New Age spirituality right now, but New Age is actually kind of the outlier here. While it does creep into neopaganism and other forms of religion to a degree, it's just not the norm.

Basically, this is an extremely complicated problem, and "just don't do religion/spirituality" is one of those oversimplified solutions that just won't solve it. If anything, it's coming from a pretty polarized of the world, which never goes anywhere good. Polarized thinking is a major driving factor in pretty much every noxious movement, so if we catch ourselves thinking in polarized ways, it's a good idea to slow down and ask ourselves if there's maybe something we're missing.