#they went through something traumatic they deserve a good cry

[hellishgayliath]

It is a shame children such as yourselves had to endure such hardships

You all did not deserve to have the weight of the world fall on your shoulders

[sugarushwriting]

“look what you made me do”

stalker jungwon part 2

adult content featured

yes there will be a part 3

you awoke with a startle after a nightmare. you sat up quickly on the bed that you were tucked into, the windows covered by thick curtains.

you looked around quietly, swallowing air, as you tried to remember what happened.

blood. chipper. maya.

shoot! when you removed the comforter from your legs and went to move off the bed and stand, you fell to the hardwood floor below.

“ouch!” you screamed in agony, tears coming to your eyes as you hugged your leg in pain.

you forgot all about the bear trap around your leg.

with a thud, jungwon came running up the stairs and threw the door open to the bedroom, a look of panic on his face.

he had originally been watching you through the nanny cam, but went outside to handle some business. he came back in and heard you cry out.

“hey, you’re okay!” he rushed to your side, helping you up gently, lying you back on the bed.

you sniffled, and your eyes went wide noticing the blood on his neck. “stay away from me, you, you freak!” you yelled, trying your best to scoot away.

jungwon wasn’t fazed nor was he mad. you were traumatized and he was slightly to be blamed for it. his smile faded to a thin line, eyes of worry focused on you.

all you could think of was poor maya in the wood chipper, asa and danielle hanging in the barn. if that was even still the case.

“what did you do to them?” you silently sniffled, trying to hold sobs.

jungwon bit is lower lip, “do you mean asa and danielle?”

you nodded slowly. jungwon hesitated to tell you. but he kept it simple with the truth. “they’re alive.”

you sucked in a breath. could you believe him? “how do i know you’re not lying?”

“i can show you.” he replied. you thought about it. could you stomach the way they looked? you barely could stay awake when the trap got you.

“why are you doing this?” you whispered so softly, he barely heard you.

jungwon went to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, it caught you off guard, you flinched. he slowly put his hand down with a frown.

“why the blanket? how did you get those pictures of me?” you continued. the blanket he covered you with before he snatched you.

pictures of you at work. in public. in your apartment. naked.

“you can guess how i got those pictures, squid.”

squid. why did that name—nickname—sound so familiar? jungwon noticed your body react to the nickname he gave you when you were close. before your accident and losing your memory.

“have you been stalking me? us.” jungwon nodded, unashamed. “why, jungwon? i—i understand how we treated you in high school was so bad—and i’m genuinely sorry for it—,”

“let’s not talk about that, right now.” jungwon cut you off immediately, his tone and mood changing.

“what did we do so bad that made you want to stalk and kill us?”

jungwon hurriedly stood up and started pacing. it really wasn’t you. or even asa. little less danielle. maya and kelly were originally his main targets.

“you three never knew the torture i went through with maya and kelly.” jungwon says, running a hand through his hair. “it wasn’t just the teasing from all of you. kelly and maya deserved what they got. to be honest, they got off easy in my opinion.”

“jungwon, what did they do to you?”

“not now squid.”

“why do you call me squid?”

“it doesn’t sound familiar? like at all?” jungwon stopped pacing to look at you with hope in his eyes.

you shrugged. “it triggered something through me, but no, not really.”

“are you hungry? i can make you food.” jungwon changed the subject. before you could decline that you weren’t hungry, your stomach betrayed you and rumbled.

“oh, um, sure.” you nodded, unsure how you’d even be able to get up at this point. you could barely stand up on your own, let alone run away from this psycho.

“i’ll bring you breakfast in bed. you need to rest that leg. when i got you, the trap was pretty deep and the wounds don’t look good under the bandages.”

jungwon walked towards the bedroom door, and you noticed a dog sitting there waiting for him. you smiled unknowing at the dog, just happy to see something alive other than jungwon.

your thoughts were clouded from the night beforehand. he really killed maya. was he going to kill danielle and asa next? what about you? you had to stay alive. you were going to fight to stay alive so you could get help.

what did maya and kelly do so bad to fuck jungwon up like this?

footsteps padded against the hardwood, jungwon coming in with a plate of breakfast. your favorite breakfast.

he placed it in front of you slowly, you picked up the fork and slowly took a bite, moaning in relief at how good it tasted.

jungwon swallowed, his adams apple bobbing up and down at hearing you moan.

no. he wasn’t going to that to you. with you. not now. the pictures and videos he had were enough to help him rub one out when needed.

“uh, jungwon, this is really good. thank you.” you politely replied with a nod.

jungwon took a seat at the edge of the bed and stared at you while you ate. “do you really not get any type of memory from the nickname squid?”

you shook your head at him. “enlighten me.”

“i don’t want to freak you out.”

you snorted. “you stalked and kidnapped me and and my friends. killed one of my friends in front of me, jungwon.”

jungwon laughed softly. “guess you have a point.”

“just tell me why do you call me squid?”

“because when we were younger you got inked on by one, and ever since then you never liked them.”

“younger?”

jungwon sighed, “that’s enough trip down memory lane for now. finish eating.”

“will you take me to go see asa and danielle?”

“only if you promise not to throw up.”

about an hour later you had finished eating, and was prepared to go out. jungwon helped you walk down the steps, outside. you went slowly, but jungwon seem to not mind.

when you got to the barn, your heart sank in pure anxiety of what you may see in front of you.

jungwon, face plain of any emotion, opened the barn door and helped you hobble in there.

thankfully asa and danielle were no longer dangling from the ceiling chains, but rather seated in hay and chained to poles beside them.

both were left in the undergarments, and you knew they had to be cold. they hadn’t moved when you two came in.

“i gave them something to help them sleep. rest.” jungwon stated. “they’ll need their energy.”

“why?” you whispered out.

“it’s hunting season.”

you turned to look at jungwon with pure disgust. “please, jungwon, just let them go.”

jungwon’s lips went in a thin line as he stared at you. “why should i?”

“maya and kelly were your main targets, okay? the rest of us learned our lesson. just please let them be.”

“i’ll have to ask my coworkers.”

“coworkers?”

jungwon nodded. “ni-ki and kai. need to make sure they’re okay with it too.”

“it was all three of you?”

“mainly me, but they helped.” jungwon stated.

you looked at him in disbelief. “i’ll do anything if you just let them go. please.” you begged.

“i’ll think about it.” jungwon said before turning around walking back to the house. he left you to hobble behind him slowly, your leg still in pain from the trap.

you got to the porch steps, jungwon held the door open for you. “actually fuck this!” you snapped. “tell me right fucking now why you are doing this!”

jungwon laughed. “or what?”

you looked around the yard, and saw a big rock. you leaned down carefully to pick it up.

“what? you’re gonna throw it at me? try to kill me with it?” he taunted.

“no. i’ll bash my own head in!” you yelled, ready to drop the rock on your head as you held it above.

jungwon ran as fast as he could down the steps and tackled you to the ground, making the rock fall out of your hands.

little did he know, there was another big rock behind you. so when you fell, your head landed on the rock, instantly knocking you unconscious.

“no, no, no! wake up!” jungwon pleaded, trying to shake you awake. blood covered his hands from the back of your head. “no, you can’t do this. i can’t lose you again.”

he cried holding you close. jungwon quickly picked you up and ran to his truck, putting you in to drive you to the emergency room.

while the doctors worked on you, he had texted ni-ki and kai who were actually visiting in town, and asked them to clean up the barn mess. no other text was sent or explanation needed.

he couldn’t say too much and incriminate himself or them. they texted back with a simple ‘ok’ and ‘no problem.’

“mr yang?” jungwon stood up when the nurse called his name.

she smiled. “your wife is doing great. a little drowsy and confused, but she’s awake and alert, and the doctor is with her. follow me.”

you two weren’t married. but they didn’t need to know that. they didn’t ask for a marriage license or proof. jungwon just knew he had to be the one only to know about your condition.

he walked into the hospital room you were in, the doctor finishing flashing the light in your eye. your eyes went wide seeing jungwon, but you stayed silent, fear in your eyes and body.

“hello mr. yang.” the doctor greeted. “mrs yang, your husband has been so worried about you!”

the doctor and other medical staff left the room, leaving you and jungwon.

“wi—wife?” you stumbled out.

“you say anything else, and i will make sure you never see outside again.” jungwon threatened.

you hung your head in silence, twiddling your thumbs, afraid to say anything further.

jungwon spoke, “they said you hit your head pretty hard but you should be okay. you’ll be here for a while as they keep an eye on you. and i’ll be right by your side.”

you kept silent. you got comfortable in the hospital bed, pulling the blanket up to your chin, your back facing jungwon.

this seemed to be a nightmare that would never end.

[juztice-posts]

The new Tomb Raider show on Netflix has me feeling some feelings and thinking some thoughts.

There is something validating and simultaneously heartbreaking about watching a character go through the same emotions and maladaptive stuff you went through to deal with the PTSD/CPTSD. Ignoring your healing, disconnecting from people who love you, not taking care of yourself properly, the nightmares, apologizing for not being a good friend or being present, all of the crying at the slightest show of care because what you went through made you feel like you didn't deserve it, and then finally being able to start healing and making connections again and feeling loved by the people around you.

A lot of people are complaining about Lara's characterization and minimizing it as "daddy issues" (which is super fucked up and kind of sexist ngl), but I think it's nice to see stuff like this in media that people can connect to. Especially since I myself struggle with PTSD, and no, it's not "daddy issues" or "being a cry baby" or "being whiny." It is being afraid to live life after years of traumatic experiences or one giant traumatic experience because you think that just by existing that the things are going to happen again when they were never your fault in the first place.

[kix-mm]

A once cruel god. G/t short story 2/??

Pt 1 Pt 3

The human dared not look up at the god. Out of fear of seeing the expression on their face and knowing their dreadful fate. The human had just been sick all over the gods hand, the same god that ate their legs and arm, the same god that carved their name into the humans back and had the human almost die in some of the most gruesome ways, the very same monster that fell head over heels for this human...

"Amber... I'm..." Victor was speechless. This was by far the most horrid result he had witnessed. By his own doing, he had singlehandedly ruined their life. Their chance of having a well-deserved life of comfort and peace after all they had gone through. Instead, the human was barely clothed, starved, and shunned from human society. What seemed worse. The human seemed to prefer living on the streets than being found by the god ever again.

Victor would have been offended by this knowledge only a few years ago, but he knew better now. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. He had no chance of redemption, but the least he could do was offer something to make the human's life more comfortable.

"Amber... let me take you home, let me clean you, feed you, and give you a place to rest..." is what they wished they could say, but they already knew the answer would never be one he liked. So, instead, he did the most selfish thing he knew to do. Taking the human back home without letting them have a say in the matter, the human was hysterical, sobbing, thrashing, screaming till they lost their voice.

"Amber, Amber, it's okay, you're safe, see? It's home-" Amber threw a small rock in retaliation, one of the only things they managed to use as self defense, one of the only things they still were in possession of.

"Take me back! Take me back!! Take me back, you selfish beast! You monster!!" Amber screamed out of anger, but it was short-lived as they suddenly froze.

They watched the gods' expression shift from worry to offended, and suddenly everything went deafeningly quiet for what seemed like an eternity.

"Amber...?" Victor watched as the human completely froze and... Oh no, poor thing... it soiled itself... Victor watched in shock as the human just sat there and began sobbing once more. They felt both ashamed and scared.

Victor quickly took them to the bathroom and had a small bath run for Amber in the sink. Everything was going horribly. The human was a traumatized mess. The god was sinking into unimaginable guilt and was trying his best to care for Amber, all while trying his best not to begin crying for the sake of the human. This wasn't supposed to be how it was... it was supposed to be a good day, a happy day, but the god instead had a traumatic wake-up call to his passed. He was far worse than he realized.

"Amber, Amber, it's okay, it's okay, I'm sorry, I thought this would help... please stay still..." he spoke in his softest voice while cleaning and dressing them, this alone took over 2 and a half hours because of the deep infections in the human's wounds and how hysterical Amber was.

Amber had eventually exhausted themselves and passed out from shock. Any time something similar happened, their body's defense was just to completely shut down to ensure minimum trauma and survival.

Victor gently laid Amber into their very own bed and tucked them in before finally letting himself break down into tears and apologies. His heavy tears hit the marble floor, which made many human sevants rush over to clean the spillage. He made sure to be extra careful around the humans when moving and sat himself down on the edge of his bed. Amber's bed was right on his nightstand, so he could keep a good eye on them just in case they woke up in a panic... although... maybe seeing the very god that ruined your life trying to comfort you wasn't ideal...

Victor let out a deep sigh, watching Amber sleep looked painful. They would flinch and shiver, whimpering every now and then while their cheeks were stained with tears, at least they were clean, and they had clean clothes on, a warm bed, and... they were safe, for once...

Victor gently rubbed the humans head, their hair had grown over the years, and had been messily cut in an attempt to keep it short. Probably to ensure nobody could grab them by it like he used to... and their face was still so precious, despite the unflattering marks. He wondered if they did it themselves or if someone did it as a favor. There was no doubt that Amber would have thanked the stranger...

[bunni-v1]

Hello! Can I request malleus x reader angst?

Malleus breaks up with reader because he is afraid he will hurt her after putting her under a sleeping curse during his over blot

<33

Malleus Afraid to Hurt Reader Again After Blot

TW: Poor Attempt at Angst, No real resolution either, Mild swearing, Bunni hasn't actually written something in a while give them a break, please

Info: Short fic; Angst; Malleus x Reader

🍓I... didn't have much thought process when going into this. I just kinda wrote, and I think I did what I wanted to do? I'm not sure, but I did have fun writing it! This is less focused on Malleus and more focused on the readers internal thoughts and how they dealt with it. Idk I don't like Malleus, so I'm not gonna pity the guy lol. Anyway, enjoy lovelies!

Summary: In the title

Malleus had become… distant since his blot. Despite everything having been solved, you ultimately deciding to stay in Twisted Wonderland, and Malleus generally being forgiven for his transgressions he had only seemed to close off more than before. Of course, that made sense. Overblotting was traumatizing, and he had so much weight on his shoulders before and after it happened. The distance was natural. But it had been a month, and he had been avoiding you like the plague.

You tried to be patient, tried to be understanding. With reassurance from Lilia and Silver and even Sebek that he was fine, you were making it through, but… you missed your boyfriend. You were also experiencing pain from the overblot, from multiple overblotts. All you wanted was to heal with your boyfriend, but he was shutting you out. It wasn’t fair.

Ace, Deuce, and Grim agreed — in fact, they seemed more passionate about it than you were, adding fuel to your slowly growing angry fire. Every time you came crying to one of them with your woes, they only seemed to get more and more exhausted and livid. Deuce always tried to comfort you (pathetically), while Ace and Grim ranted on about how you should ‘just break up with him,’ and ‘he doesn’t deserve you if he’s gonna treat you like this.’

You were beginning to agree with them. Weeks of this was weighing on your poor heart and mind, getting in the way of your studies and day-to-day life. The only reason you were social was because Ace wouldn’t let you hole yourself up. ‘Hiding yourself away just means you’re letting him win, you don’t want him to win this one.’

So, with your head held high, you did your best to pretend everything was fine. You went to classes, spent time with your friends, worked at the Monstro Lounge, and continued your regular schedule. Except now, instead of running to Malleus when you were done with your long day, you met up with Ace and spent your time decompressing with him.

Occasionally, you would feel Malleus’ eyes on you. You would turn to give him a smile and a wave, but he would always turn away before you could lift your arm. So, you just stopped. You stopped trying. Your chest still ached, but you couldn’t allow this to be the end of your life anymore. You deserved to be able to function, and Malleus would come to you and talk to you when he decided to grow up.

In Malleus’ eyes, however, this was the final nail in the coffin.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

That morning you received a knock on your door. Grim, Ace, and Deuce were out cold on the floor after one of your bi-weekly, ‘hangouts,’ (which were just sleepovers), so you were expecting Trey or Cater to come to fetch them. When you opened the door, however, you were greeted by Lilia’s little grin. He seemed a bit… off, upset, though you couldn’t place why.

“Lilia…?”

“Good morning little one, I’ve got a letter for you.”

“An invitation... from Malleus…?” you wondered allowed.

“You’ll have to read it and see,” he paused, “please remember you are always welcome to come and speak with me. You are like family, and I am here for you always.”

You said nothing, simply giving him a confused smile and nodding as he walked off. With a sigh, you shut the door and flipped the letter in your hands. Rich black paper with a red wax stamp and your name in pretty gold letters — most definitely from Malleus. You couldn’t stop your heart from leaping in your chest at the revelation. Maybe he would apologize, and things could go back to normal?

You took a few deep breaths to calm your excitement. Be realistic, you reminded yourself. You quietly crept to the kitchen, carefully opening the envelope and unfolding the letter. It was short, less than half the page of Malleus’ gorgeous cursive.

“My Dearest,

Firstly, I must apologize for my absence from your life. I’ve had much to think about after my blot, and I could not think clearly around you. I realized quite a few differences between the two of us. Firstly, you are human, and I am fae. I have a much longer lifespan than you, and am far more powerful than you could imagine. You have a small lifespan and are magic-less. You are easily affected by even weak magical spells, and the toll that my magic has on you is immense. As I saw with my blot, you are fragile and easily harmed. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that you would be safer and happier if we put an end to our relations with each other. You will be well, as I have seen your friends care for you deeply. Please find it in yourself to forgive me for what I have done."

You stared at the letter blankly, your mind struggling to comprehend what you were reading. Malleus had… broken up with you? Via a letter, of all things? Perhaps it could be worse, but a letter was Malleus’ equivalent of magicam… so could it really be? You hadn’t realized you were crying until you saw your tears blurring the ink on the paper.

You didn’t want to cry. You were more angry than sad, but the hurt stung worse in your heart, so you stood at the kitchen counter and sobbed. And you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed over a man who did not have the decency to face you in person. You cried so loud that it woke one of your friends, and you could hear the creaking of the floorboards as they grew closer until you saw the red hair in your blurred vision.

“Yo,” he said awkwardly, “watcha cryin’ about now…?”

You let out a half-hearted ‘nothing,’ but Ace wasn’t having it. He rounded the counter, settling awkwardly at your side. Somehow, Ace was worse than Deuce when it came to comforting you. He noticed the letter on the table and -- with a defeated shrug of your shoulders -- picked it up. You could see him grow angrier and angrier as he read it.

“Who does he think he is, huh,” slamming the letter down onto the counter, “couldn’t even do it in person. What a coward!”

You sniffled, wiping at your face. It was hard to disagree, especially considering the circumstances. 

“He isn’t even worth cryin’ over, so wipe those tears,” he grumbled, “you, me, and the other losers in there are going out and getting your mind off of that dumbass. Go get dressed, and I’ll get them up.”

You nodded, wiping up the rest of your tears and stumbling up to your room to do as you were told. The first thing you did when you arrived was look in the mirror. Your puffy eyes, ruffled hair, and tear streaks down your cheeks, and for what? A guy who ghosted you for weeks on end, who couldn’t even break up with you in person. What a joke.

Ace was right. He isn’t worth crying over. He isn’t worth worrying about anymore. So, why did your heart still ache? It wasn’t fair. Still, you cleaned yourself up, got dressed, and resigned yourself to a life without Malleus. If you could do it before, you could do it for the rest of your life. He would be graduating soon anyway, and you wouldn’t have to see him again after that.

Who needs him anyway? You’ve got your friends to take care of you. 

[starguardianniom]

Adrien and Marinette screwing each other's character development

That's literally what happened in season 5.

5 seasons of Adrien trying his best to break free of his dad's abuse and control only for Marinette to honors Gabriel's wish and make him believe he was a hero and a good parent, despite having front seat at his abuse, on top of fighting him, and Gabriel made the both of time cry. So now Adrien will forever think his father was a good man, when he was not. He will like his abuser, when the last episode showing them together has Adrien showing nothing but hatred toward his father for thinking he knew better for him when he was just doing what he wanted Adrien to do and not what Adrien wanted himself.

We spent 5 seasons watching Marinette trying and failing to confess to Adrien, only for him to confess to her instead which rendered kind of all her efforts pointless, on top of not having to learn the many lessons that she should have, like regarding his private life, or start seeing him as a person and not a perfect angel who can't do no wrong. They even had some jokes at her behavior, behavior that they later learned was because she had a traumatic experience which made her decide that the next poor sod that would catch her attention would not be permitted to have a private life whatsoever, just because she made an error of judgement and didn't listen to her friend's warning, something she keeps doing repeatedly during the series. She just gets her boyfriend and never has to change her behavior, and he doesn't get to maybe get mad or creeped out at all the stuff she did for him while she could barely speak to him, let alone struggle to stay close less she ran away out of being scared to ask him out. So her toxic behavior also doesn't get to be toned down. Biggest example is after learning that Gabriel is Monarch, she goes to speak to him because she wants Adrien back, not to stop Monarch once in for all. She has to when he finds her in his house and she can't hide much longer.

The main difference, Marinette has been aware since forever that Gabriel was pretty controlling with Adrien and got depressed over it several times since it meant she couldn't hang out with him. And she still sided with his abuser because she didn't want Adrien to deal with the backlash of knowing his father was the local terrorist of the city. A guy she spent 5 season fighting, and spent the last episode of season 5 beating up because he prefered to go with his crazy scheme instead of respecting his wife's last wish. And she decides to respect Gabriel's last wish instead of being honest with Adrien and the rest of the city, which I'm sorry to say, is beyond horrible of her. People deserves the truth, so does Adrien, stop coodling him like his father tried, he doesn't need it.

Meanwhile Adrien just learned in the last season that she had a crush on him. And saw her doing some pretty weird stuff, but never truly saw the real depths as to how far Marinette was willing to go to get his love. He didn't see her bully Kagami, he didn't see her lie and manipulate her parents to make her follow him to Shangai and abandoning her uncle on his birthday just to go stalk him, among other stuff. So he isn't aware of the worst of Marinette, and half of it he thinks she's just weird because to him that's how she's always been, weird and quirky but still charming and cute somehow.

I kind of just realised that while reading other posts about those subjects and just saw that they both ruined each other's development, Adrien unintentionally and Marinette, intentionally.

EDIT: chocolatevoidpizza made me realize I was victim blaming Marinette for the cruel prank she went through in Derision via the line "just because she made an error of judgement and didn't listen to her friend's warning".

That is unfair on Marinette and I apologize for writing that and take it back.

I however won't delete it cause I need the reminder to not have a repeat of that and I need the lesson.

So thank you chocolatevoidpizza for opening my eyes and knocking sense back into me.

[scyphosunny]

AN ENTRY FOR MY LATEST DRAWING . GOD , HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN !!!!

alright HHHIIII am i back ? i'm not even sure .

jeez , how exactly do i even start this ? i've been doing everything but nothing at the same time . you guys are lucky i am in a good mood , because if i wasn't 3k words of this would be ranting of how much i want(ed) to die . i'll just tell you what i've been up to .

i don't know man , 2025 arrived and i realized i was still as lost as i was before . i got therapy to try and figure that out , and even if i needed that i feel like my main concern should be just how depressed i've been . asking for help has always been pretty difficult , so i'm still trying to do something about that . . .

oh , also . i don't know what triggered it ? but all of the sudden i'm also a pierce the veil fan . i had king for a day and a match into the water downloaded in my phone already , but for some reason , january 1st and it just happened . my sister said she'd buy me a ticket to see them !! so now i gotta hold on till december ( heh

it was my birthday this month ! i had a pretty nice time . i was just really fucking sad so everything made me emotional . got a bunch of money ( i already spent btw ) , some new clothes . . . my sister's birthday is 4 days apart from mine , so she also invited me to just chill at a nice place . we got something to eat , went shopping , spent some time just by ourselves . . . it was really cool . even though i was dissociated through the whole thing . i don't know how dissociation works ! i did some research , and it said something about my brain trying to protect me from a traumatic experience . well , yeah . . . january was rough !! i lost motivation to do most things . maybe this is just me trying to downplay my emotions ? but i actually didn't think i was doing this bad . . . the only thing that comes to mind was getting a couple of wounds iinfected and getting SUPER paranoid about it , but just that . i don't know . the dissociation thing would go away at times , i wasn't really sure if i was imagining it or not thanks to that . it lasted four days , and now that i'm okay i can tell that i was in fact NOT imagining it lol

anyway . got some nice clothes and accesories , made my brain happy . got a tiny bit of my hair dyed purple ! but the dye was too dark so you couldn't really notice it . . .

i was feeling pretty down because i didn't really enjoy anything anymore . i was afraid of losing vargas as a special interest , but i realized it was the same with every other thing i liked so i was just pretty out of everything i guess . i can't tell if it's back ? but i'm definitely doing better . maybe if i keep myself drawing , i can get distracted enough for a while .

AANNYYWAAY . my personal vargasversary was february 11th , and i thought to myself " you have 6 days to work in a HUGE piece because that's what this fandom really deserves . days kept going by . then i started getting these weird mood swings out of nowhere ? i can't remember last time since i felt like that . two days of getting out of bed at 4pm , then getting a sudden rush of energy that made me think i could do ANYTHING , then getting overwhelmed by trying to do everything all at once , and then crying again for hours and lose all motivation for the rest of the day . i went to sleep pretty early those days thanks to that .

then , just three days ago i kinda went back to my old self . talking about things no one cared about for hours . that was a good sign .

i made a little thing to warm up . . . i wanted to see if i could still draw my boy .

he was smoking on the og sketch actually , but that's a bit too self indulgent

I STILL DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WANTED TO DRAW FOR THE ANNIVERSARY . i wanted to make a big piece , like those pretty ones i've done already . maybe something with edgar , scri and todd spending some time together . some nice slice of life to heal everyone in this fandom . my brain refused to think of something , though . i thought of changing it to a piece of them as kids , but i wanted to do something recognizable for everyone . non vargas fans see scriabin and think " oh it's that long haired bastard " or something like that . so the drawings of them as kids are for a specific audence i guess haha

well , scrolling through pinterest i found this piece . i tried to search who made it but i couldn't aahh ssorry . anyway , it was on my ideas folder so i was like . . . . . . . maybe with a decent coloring i can make this work . . . . . . . . . . . so i worked on a quick sketch .

i still really love drrawing them on their sides . their noses make it so easy .

now , i just had to find a way to color this . i liked that thing i did last time i colored something , so i was thinking maybe something like that . THE YELLOW SKIN BASE COLOR GREW ON ME

i'm still trying to achieve this pretty specific coloring style . changed brushes ( AGAIN ) to try and get something i liked , and though i really like how it looked here i think i can find something that works a bit better . my main inspiration for it is this artist . they have pretty pieces .

i also wanted to try whatever undercoloring is , but i couldn't find a tutorial . so i just ended up doing whatever i thought looked good . tried to start with scriabin at first , then gave up and told myself i would look for a tutorial . i couldn't find any so i just looked at my reference picture really closely lol

i really , REALLY liked how this scriabin came out . when it comes to his hair , i usually draw it shorter than it actually is because i don't really know how to make it look good . but i think it looks pretty great here :DDDD also THE GLASSES . yeah , i was just about to draw him and i realized that you could still see his eyes since it's a side profile . i love to draw his eyes , but it doesn't mean it's in character lol . so i thought about this thing zarla said once . . .

i seached how wraparound glasses looked like and that's NOT THE WAY I DREW THEM BUT THESE LOOKED COOL FOR HIM ALRIGHT i was actually thinking of adding it to my hc list or something . he just looks pretty badass like that haha

i started with edgar because i love him . and because you can see most of his face , unlike scriabin .

worked on this while watching a movie with friends ! i honestly wasn't paying too much attention , so at some point i'll just rewatch it by myself .

also , nyne told me he'd like to watch me play ddlc at some point so i downladed it . i wanted to mess with the game a bit , so i deleted monika from the files but had a backup to get her back on the game . opened the game , see the aftermath and man , i got flashbacks . ddlc used to be so scary for me . i remember being afraid of dark for like 6 months when i was 14 . i couldn't look anywhere without imagining that one shot of natsuki snapping her neck . creepy . i kinda had that same thing with hellmari from omori , but it didn't last as long . now , i don't really need anything to be traumatized with , i can just be up at 4am , see something at the edge of my vision and freak out ( it's just my hair 93% of the time

i really liked how his face came out !!! that splash of blue added so much depth and i adore how it looks , ggaaahh . the clothes are always harder to shade so honestly i just made whatever looked okay .

it was time to work on scriabin's face ! so i had to figure out how the FUCK to remember what exactly i just did in edgar . i wanted to export the speedpaint to maybe try and see it that way , but my pc started making a loud ass noise . that never happened to me before ( while trying to export speedpaints ) . so instead i had to retrace my steps , see what exactly i did in each layer and try to replicate it . this is something i really hate about trying new styles to color stuff .

this is how it looked like , if anyone's curious .

i have this nice brush that works great for freckles . i also used it on last piece

i went to sleep without rendering his clothes and i got them done afterr waking up . after that , i don't know . i wanted the thing to . . . glow ??? somehow ??? some smart blur would have helped but it would also take most of the details away . so i followed a quick tutorial on pinterest .

they were glowing too much now lol , so i adjusted it until it looked fine .

i think that's it ! i want to work on some doodles maybe to post with some other stuff i made recently . i have one hour before code lyoko starts and i will watch hamilton with brusk after that , but i should still have time X3

here's a speedpaint ! you can see how i struggled with the coloring first lol

and , it's my lockscreen now ! i still have to work on that vargas phone theme at some point . . . maybe i should work on it right now because i'm not as depressed as before , but getting storage on my phone will take me ages considering i haven't cleaned my gallery in a year .

alright . see you next time .

[evil-peanut-butter-addict-sam]

HEEEEEELLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!! Sorry for putting the questions late just like our railway which is always late by minutes or hours :)

Life update:- THANKSSSSSSSSSSSSS FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS IT HELPED ME A LOT, NOW I SLEEP ON TIME AND NOT LATE LIKE 4 AM UNLESS I GOT FOOTBALL MATCH TO SEE 😤

I also found out how to keep myself busy and do activities and not actually feel bored, even though i am on my litttleeeeee vacation I am still doing my activities such as writing my first book, pasting images of my idols etc. Also i went for an unexpected shopping yesterday and bought a white shirt and t-shirt ✨ Really enjoying my vacation and I feel refreshed and happy, also I can say I am a lot better than I was weeks ago. Everything is good for me, I am enjoying my single life a lot, feel better and free being on my own terms than under someone else. Anyway I just got few questions bcs this questions arise in my mind a lot and it kinda disturbs me, the questions are given below:-

i) Is it a normal thing or abnormal thing to worry about someone you loved? Like i don't wanna reconnect with them but like the other part of me still worries if they are ok or not, for example like I went to shopping and while I was selecting which dress I should buy but my mind wasn't actually focusing on that instead it was worrying if they are ok or not and it's not for only one person it's about like all the people ik, it went so much that I had panic attack.

ii) Is it a normal thing or abnormal thing to remember about something which happened a year ago? Like it's been around 14 years since that devastating incident happened like I lost someone whom I was really close to Suicide, but that left a trauma mark, I was just 5 years old at that time but i still remember everything that happened including their body, idk why I still try to forget about it but my brain doesn't sometimes it recalls those things and i really get scared and start to cry like regretting if we could be a little faster we wouldn't have lost him.

iii) Is it a normal or abnormal thing to live life alone. Like don't get me wrong but I wanna live my life alone with my family members and relatives rather than dating a girl and marrying them in future. Bcs i am really trauamtised by love and I don't feel that I fit for this generation love as i feel like most of them actually don't know how to be human and what's the meaning of loving someone maybe the older generation knew that and it died with them. I am not fit for "double relationship" or "hookup culture" and most of them dating to gain something rather than actually loving them. Yes I always wanted to love someone but my experience with it has been traumatising and it had left a trauma mark that I didn't deserve, at the beginning of it my close one actually warned and also beated me after they found out, now ik they meant for good because it was just after some traumatic incident I went through but I still went with them hoping they will be good and at first i felt that and i actually told it to my close one and they agreed and thought the person was really good. But after one incident every truth came out including that they insulted my close one numerous time calling them something they weren't even though that person knew them. I still hold on hoping they actually understood but nah they again insulted including me i didn't mind about the insults that they did on my name calling me things I wasn't but I felt really bad when they called bad things about my close one. Moreover after they forgot what I did and went on to believe on the words of some people who didn't talk with them for months I really thought of letting it go because it wasn't worth it at all, beside they showed some fake promises that they never meant. All of these left a trauma mark on me beside I now have huge trust issues and I can't believe that someone will ever love me without gaining something in return. So i decided that i will live alone and focus on achieving my dreams and other achievements that i want to achieve but few people made fun of it and i really felt bad like people who never know what happened and were giving advice on what i should or not and were trying to stop me from being the free me. Even though I avoided and didn't pay attention but sometimes it questions me. Moreover is it a good thing to worry about someone who hurted you and expecting them to change later when they realises more about what was right and what was wrong? Like the other part of me says they might change while the other part says that they won't and would turn out to be a bad one, even though I can't be with them as i would get beatings and also for the little me which doesn't deserve the things that I am going through and if I get hurt badly this time I will probably end my life.

iv) Is it a good thing or bad thing to follow your idols and finding themselves as a means of comfort like example I am a tech nerd and football lover I like programming so whenever I get sad i look up to the videos related to my fav place where I want to work, or about my favourite idol or footballer. For example I really idolise Rodri and Wilbur a lot, so whenever I get sad i watch videos related to them which are funny and makes me happy but is it a good thing bcs I am a boy, and like in many instances people would call me gay while I am not, and that finding comfort through them doesn't mean I am gonna see them as lover figure I see them as an elder brother figure and I find comfort though them. Even after telling them that I am a straight but grey-aroace person they would make fun of me which really makes me feel bad.

v) Is it a normal thing or abnormal thing to really feel not comfortable with too many people bcs like year ago when I was 16 I got sexual threats in a gc and they would send texts related to it even after telling I am uncomfortable with it, i eventually left that gc but I didn't complain it to my parents and it would lead to legal matters which I wanted to avoid, so this makes me feel uncomfortable with too many people and often times I would panick and run away to a space which has less people. Moreover after all this incidents I really don't trust humans that much like I used to before except my family members, relatives and my idols.

vi) I come from a well disciplined family, so i really don't say no to everyone unless it's bad but in many instances this polite behaviour would cause toll on me. Like there was a bestfriend of mine whom i knew from years but he really kept that friendship for using me as a honey extractor, like I was working on a game which I wanna create so he was keeping friendship with me so to gain money from it and didn't mean any true friendship with me. I understood it late but when I eventually left creating distance from them and telling them that i don't want to keep anymore contact with them. But in many instances I couldn't say no at first instance when i understood as i thought it might hurt them, moreover trying to say them no in a polite manner wouldn't work. So like how to be confident and say no when you feel it's wrong any suggestions?

vii) Is it normal or abnormal thing to worry about the person you knew and knows? Like after the RG Kar incident it still shivers my spine and i really got scared, I still worry about all the person i knew because our law system is a shit and if anyone speaks about any bad thing or being too honest it would result in such horrific incidents like this. It's been month yet none of the main culprits are behind the bars and are roaming like nothing happened with them and beside Indians don't have that confident in them to lead out a protest, a simple threat would scare them and they would eventually stopped and that this is not the first time daily many people whether it's a boy or a girl get sexually harrassed or asualted and no one cares, and if any people speaks they would either get killed or assaulted sexually here. And even after this incidents the boys don't care being a good human still there are many hospitals where the doctors are getting threatened or harrassed and in colleges this has been a culture to bully, rag or assualt someone or forcefully record pornography with them and if they don't they would get assaulted sexually or murder and label it as suicide. And here many of the people who spoked against this thing got threatened and this thing really scares me a lot and I worry about the persons I know even if they are bad, and recently one of my close one got taunting while she was returning from college. A boy said "RG KAR kore debo naki?" This is a Bengali language and it translates to "should I do the RG KAR incident with you?" and like they think doing something would give them fame and name and like winning a medal. Moreover I got no energy or happiness to celebrate the greatest festival even though I am a boy.

viii) Is it a normal thing or abnormal thing to write books or games to aware people. Like i wanna work in one of my fav company and as a game programmer also beside that I wanna create a game to aware people and currently I am writing a book on depression too to aware people. But many of the people would call me abnormal or make fun of me telling what would your book do or who said you to do this and this really makes me feel bad and questions myself.

ix) Is it a normal thing or abnormal thing to actually keeping a wish to meet your idols like I wanna meet my idols and I told it to some people and guess what they made fun of me telling I am still a kid I won't be able to meet them or even reach my dreams.

Ig it's a long question but if you would give me suggestions I would appreciate it a lot as your suggestions are really helpful and it works also if I disturbed you I am really sorry I didn't know you can read it at your free time and answer it.

And yea I am healing the wounds that I didn't deserve gonna take a long time but this time I will comeback stronger and being the best version of myself! Take care and sending you a lot of positive mental health 🩵

WHOA THATS SO GOOD IM PROUD :D

I) I personally worry about the people I have loved because I'm still on good terms with them I still see them practically daily and we are still friends! On the other hand if they hurt you in someway or you ended on bad terms I don't really think its needed to reconnect with them in anyway but is good with wish a positive future for them, and not only that everyone should wish everyone a positive future whether you like them or not.

II) I'm saying these all from my perspective and what I do! I feel it's decently normal to remember something from that long ago especially if it left a mental or physical mark on you. For example, almost 3-4 years ago now I learned how to ride a bike for the first time and I fell to the ground pretty bad so it left a big acar on my knee for those whole 3-4 years and it's just now starting to fully fade away, and when I fell the pain was kinda bad and I was crying quite a bit and I still remember it perfectly. I know that example probably wasn't all that good compared to your example but I did wanna trauma dump on you.

III) its completely normal to wanna be alone, I understand that so much before I dated anyone I didn't feel the need to date or feel the need to get caught up in relationships! [But then I found my first ex and that kicked it all off lol]

IV) who tf is not normalizing that everyone can find comfort in a idol? Anyway yes its completely normal to look up old vids and stuff even if you are a dude that YOUR comfort, don't let anyone take that away from you by calling you a gay men.

[Never finished this sorry]

[areyouwell]

Holy fucking shit dude. I just finished reading your phobophobia fic series and it was absolutely jaw dropping. The way you write in general is amazing, but your usage of words, the way you write reader, the way this reads like a whole fucking book, the foreshadowing (get it.), the plot twists... everything, it was perfect. This like- genuinely changed my life and is now in my top five favorite works of written creative media. This also hit so hard because I've also recently went through something traumatic where I started doubting my mind and memory and I felt reader when she was upset about that, I was having the same thoughts. This story was absolutely phenomenal. Im planning on going thru all the chapters and reblogging them all, I was too busy craving the next chapter to interact 😭 but this seriously deserve SO MUCH MORE ATTENTION. SO MUCH. I've been craving and an angsty, lengthy, logan x reader fic since August, when I got into his character. This was everything I wanted and more. You slayed the fucking boots down.

sorry for yapping so much girl i just needed to get it out I texted all my fic reading friends about this fic 😭💗

YOU ARE THE SWEETEST <33333

im so embarrassed to say how long it took me to get the foreshadowing joke i feel like the unfunny court jester ;–;

BUT, thank you so much!!!!! i did some research after reading this ask and found out that Phobophobia is longer than the original ACOTAR books (each book, not altogether) which is WILD to think about, it did not feel that long when i was writing it. so congrats those who stuck with it and read the whole thing, you've just read the equivalent of an over-average wordcount novel 👏 average novel wordcount is between 70k to 100k and Phobophobia, not including the oneshot, was 146k... GOOD JOB TEAM <3

i think one of the most gratifying parts of writing fics and posting them is to almost keep a chronological log of how writers have improved over time. comparing Phobophobia to like, my first ever fic (on a different blog) is so crazy. im so blown away by the reception to the fic as well, and so honoured to be in your top five, FIVE, favourite pieces of written creative media. i. am. CRYING. five is a very small number and im there? me? little can-barely-keep-herself-together-and-cries-when-she-has-to-go-to-work me???? deceased. on the floor. ascended.

as thrilled as i am you were able to find kinship with Firefly, and relate to her character, i sincerely hope you're doing okay now, and i'm so sorry you went through something traumatic that had you doubting your memory. whilst i haven't personally experienced doubting my own mind and memories, i can only imagine how terrifying it must be to lose faith in something so integral to our lives, and whilst i'm over the moon i could accurately portray a person's reaction to such a thing and that i could perhaps provide some companionship in feeling such a way, i truly hope you're alright <3

i have another just as angsty, actually probably more angsty long-fic in the works at the moment, which i think will be just as long, perhaps longer than Phobophobia (oopsies) and im so excited to start sharing that with everyone as well :D

PLEASE DO NOT APOLOGISE FOR YAPPING!!!!! i might have to put it in my rules that nobody is allowed to apologise for yapping. yapping apology rights REVOKED. i am a certified yapper. fluent in Yappanese, some may say, if you couldn't tell from the length of my own response :') in fact, you slayed the boots down with your yapping. Graduated with distinction from the University of Yapford, congratulations <3

[queen-of-mandalore]

Em’s Star Wars Rewatch Part 35:

The Clone Wars #33 - Deception

4x15: Deception

Ahsoka had to watch Obi-Wan ‘die’ in her arms, that has to be pretty traumatic. The tears in her eyes as she looks up at Anakin.

Anakin’s voice crying Obi-Wan’s name and trying to shake him awake. The show really shows just how much Anakin loved Obi-Wan and the pain of ‘losing’ him is so clear.

I know they had to invite Satine to make it convincing but that’s so cruel. I doubt Satine ever forgave the Jedi for doing that to her.

Cody deserved to be at the funeral.

The way the music has a hint of the imperial march as Anakin’s anger grows.

‘So, how was my funeral?’ Obi-Wan is so unserious.

Obi-Wan bald and clean shaven is actually frightening. He looks 11.

The face transfiguration is cool but looks so painful.

Their plan would have gone seriously wrong if Anakin had actually killed him. His and Ahsoka’s twin scowls as they enter - they did look like they were about to commit murder.

Obi-Wan does such a good job of acting like the criminal.

‘I’m quite enjoying playing the villain’

Nice Boba cameo.

I love Cad Bane. He is such a great villain.

I honestly think the Corrie guard has the worst deal.

4x16: Friends and Enemies

Obi-Wan learnt how to crash land from Anakin.

The second arc in a row where Obi-Wan gets tortured - he’s having a great time.

Palpatine is loving it. Stirring the pot as usual. Unknowingly the Jedi are playing into his hands, using this as evidence that they don’t trust Anakin to further fuel his narrative.

Ahsoka was way too chill with Anakin choking that guy.

‘It’s Cad Bane!’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Who else wears a hat like that?’

The Jedi really screwed up by not telling Anakin. Like surely they must have known he would do something. Even if they didn’t tell him initially to sell his reaction, they could have given him the details once Obi-Wan was under cover.

Obi-Wan straight up pummelling Anakin in the face.

Ahsoka standing protectively over Anakin 🥺

4x17: The Box

The premise of this episode is so simple and yet it’s so entertaining.

Cad Bane immediately murdering someone because they stole his hat - ‘what? It’s a nice hat’. Iconic.

I love how extra Dooku is. He really hosted his own Hunger Games.

Obi-Wan is actually such an amazing fighter. He’s also so smart which really shows in this episode.

The fact that it was Cad Bane who saved Obi-Wan. I think that he has a sense of honour, in the way he thinks you should kill someone face to face.

You would think that Dooku would be able to sense Obi-Wan in the force. I don’t know if there’s a canon reason for this or it was just convenient to the plot.

4x18: Crisis on Naboo

‘And where will you be?’ ‘Hopefully where I always am.’ ‘He means saving the day 🙄’

Dooku really went to all that trouble recruiting these bounty hunters through his hunger games only to use them as a distraction.

Anakin really felt betrayed by Obi-Wan here and of course Palpatine only fuels the fire.

The little smirk on Palpatine’s face as he watches Anakin fight Dooku.

Some of the shots in this fight scene were so gorgeous, especially them fighting in front of the window.

The fact that Cody and the 212th do not show up a single time in the whole of this arc is actually unacceptable. Obi-Wan has been their general for years by this point and we have seen how close he is to his men, they should have at least been in one scene, even if it had just been finding out he was ‘dead’.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Who Let Us Have A Group Chat?

Pairings: Blood Moon/DJ Music Man, Harvest Moon/Glamrock Bonnie, Eclipse/OC (well, not anymore)

Word Count: 1,430 Words

Summary: KC has their first period and inadvertently comes out.

Warnings: Caps, Period/Menstruation, Death (mentioned only), Blood (mentioned), Age Regression, Pain (mentioned), Cursing, Accidental Misgendering, Coming Out, Nudity (mentioned only, non-sexual), SFW Tickling, let me know if I should add anything else.

Chapter 12: Periods & Panics

6:40am Who Took My Hat?

Kill Code: It HURTS

Moon: What hurts?

Kill Code: My stomach.

Moon: What did you eat last? Did you eat grapes? Dairy? Did you eat something rotten or moldy? Old baked goods? Something out of date?

Eclipse: Jesus you went into Mom Mode. Chill. I don’t think he’s dying.

Moon: Even if he isn’t dying, he’d still need epinephrine and your computer doesn’t know how to make it!

Eclipse: Bold of you to assume!

Eclipse: But yeah, it doesn’t. But he also didn’t eat any allergens at dinner, we just a meat/meat substitute and salad night and me and him used the same dressing non-dairy with no grapes, grape seed, or anything grape related.

Moon: Then what could possibly be hurting? Cres?

Kill Code: I have blood in my bed, I threw up. I don’t know what’s happening.

Moon: BLOOD!?

Eclipse: oh

Eclipse: Moon chill out, I know what it is. Dad, do your hips hurt too? Lower back?

Kill Code: Yes, everything hurts.

Eclipse: Moon, you’ve never had periods before, did you?

Moon: Not after the first one, that was hell. I forcibly turned off my hormonal sensors and haven’t had one since.

Eclipse: He’s having his first period and nobody told him because us kids thought he already knew what they were like being in your body.

Moon: shit

Eclipse: I can take care of it. I’m his ‘oldest’ child.

Kill Code: I can deal with it.

Kill Code is offline

Moon: WHAT HAPPENED!?

Eclipse: He got up trying to fix it himself while I was getting supplies and he fainted from how suddenly he got up mixed with how much blood he lost while he was sleeping.

Kill Code is online

Kill Code: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just wanted to fix it.

Eclipse: We’ll you ain’t. What you’re going to fix is getting into the bath and cleaning off because I’m the one fixing it. You’re in pain. You deserve one day of being taken care of.

Kill Code: I’m the dad, I don’t get taken care of. I take care of you.

Harvest Moon: Go bathe or I’m coming in there and forcibly bathing you.

Kill Code: fine

7:20am Who Took My Hat?

Moon: He’s okay now?

Blood Moon: He’s fine. Still bathing.

Eclipse: I thought he came out already.

Blood Moon: No, I’ve been waiting at the door to make sure he doesn’t try to go off working and he hasn’t come out yet.

Eclipse: Go in and check on him, I’m washing the sheets. Trying to, anyway.

[Blood Moon has started a video call] Moon: Why? I don’t want to possibly see KC naked!

Blood Moon: I need moral support! I might see my dad naked! You can suffer through it, it’s less traumatic for you, since you shared a body with him.

Moon: Fine.

[Blood Moon opens the door slowly, showing KC still in the bath but quickly looks away]

Blood Moon: Dad? Are you okay?

Kill Code: Bat’ie. *giggles and splashes the bath water a bit, playing with a few bubbles but whimpers and starts crying when his belly hurts again*

Moon: Blood Moon, he’s regressing.

Blood Moon: Dad? You’re little?

Kill Code: Hurts! Wan’ it to stop!

Blood Moon: Did you get clean?

Kill code: Yeah, got clean.

Blood Moon: Okay, let’s get you dressed then.

[Blood Moon has ended the video call]

Moon: Thank god, I don’t have to watch you dressing him.

Blood Moon: Eclipse, he’s little, what do I dress him in?

Eclipse: Standard? Sweatpants he can loosen in case he’s bloated at all, big soft baggy shirt in case his chestplate is sensitive. A pad since he’ll probably be sleeping once he gets the food and Midol into him.

Blood Moon: Moon, you better have a good fucking reason for this.

Moon: For what?

Blood Moon: kcinatowelholdingupapurplenightgown.jpg

Moon: I guess the nanobots you guys made his body from shifted with how vulnerable he felt?

Blood Moon: Moon, he picked out a dress. By himself. I’m not confused about the almost human part, I understand the defense tactic. I am concerned about the dress he chow on his own.

Eclipse: Oh my god, if this is how we find out KC is trans, I swear to god.

Harvest Moon: Dad is trans?

Eclipse: You are so far out of the loop right now, Ves.

Blood Moon: Kill Code fought me trying to stop them from digging through drawers, they wanted this one single article of clothing more than they cared about not being in pain.

Blood Moon: I want an explanation, Moon. You shared a body with KC.

Moon: I can neither confirm nor deny anything.

Harvest Moon: This isn’t a question, Moon, we need to know before we do something that upsets them while they’re already in pain and upset!

Moon: I plead the fifth.

Eclipse: Please?

Moon: …

Moon: Fine.

Moon: KC is genderfluid. They kept it a big secret, they were embarrassed about it constantly, especially when they were sharing with me.

Eclipse: Why would they keep this from us? We’re their kids, we love our parent.

Moon: They think they have to be some big tough Dad for you all. They refused to take care of themself until they took care of you. But I guess so much piled on all at once forced them to need to accidentally come out because they didn’t want to feel uncomfortable anymore when they were already so stressed.

Supermassive: So right now KC is our Mom. Right?

Moon: Right now Cres is just a baby. If she’s still regressing, that is.

Blood Moon: I would say her asking if she can use a diaper instead of a pad says yes to her regressing.

Eclipse: I have some still from before I knew pads existed. I’ll bring one in.

Blood Moon: Who says I want to put a diaper on my Mom!? This is worse than naked trash can!

Lunar: I’ll come do it. My god.

Eclipse: Seriously? Don’t you hate her?

Lunar: Too late, I already used the daycare to bunker teleporter thingy. And yes, I hate her. But she’s family and she’s family I don’t care if I see naked. I’ve changed Moon before, I don’t care at this point.

Moon: You better stop talking right now.

Lunar: Hush.

Lunar: And stop lying about your period, you get them twice a month, you poor fucker.

Moon: Shut uuuup, I don’t want to think about it!

Eclipse: Wait, if you have them, then how didn’t KC know about them?

Moon: I blocked off the pain sensors for it and she just never thought to check down there because KC didn’t care when she was feral. Later on, she just ignored it because she felt uncomfortable with my body and couldn’t stand to interact other it.

Eclipse: And the blood?

Moon: …

Lunar: He put on period diapers before they switched out.

Lunar: Here’s our pretty girl by the way.

Lunar: killcodebeingcarriedtobed.jpg

Moon: Just occurred to me, why the hell are you so strong?

Lunar: Monty messed up my schematics by one little issue.

Lunar: He made me just as strong as he is. He added an extra zero by mistake. So I’m worth 10,000 joules of energy instead of 1,000.

Moon: You scare me.

Lunar: I should scare you. I’m a fourteen year old who can pick up two family members at once.

Lunar: Regardless, look our our pretty girl.

Lunar: killcodesnugglingastuffedbearandwatchingtinkerbell.jpg

Moon: Tell her she’s such a sweet girl for me, she liked that when I tried last time to get her to come out and stop pushing herself.

Lunar: Oh, my heart. Moony, this is the response I got. I can’t believe I thought to record it. This is the most precious thing!

Lunar: kcbeingcute.vid

[video transcription] Lunar: Moony says you’re such a sweet girl, Cressy.

Kill Code: Mama says?

Lunar: Yes, baby, Mama says. Mama says you’re pretty and sweet and the cutest girl ever.

Kill Code: *tiny little giggles as she watches Lunar with complete joy* Mama make pain go away?

Lunar: Mama’s at home right now, he’s looking after the daycare. But you have me all day if you want.

Kill Code: Mama work. Got Baba.

Lunar: You do, you got Baba.

Kill Code: Baba make pain go ‘way?

Lunar: I most certainly can. Here, let me kiss it better. *kisses her belly and tickles her sides*

Kill Code: *giggling constantly until she giggles so hard she squeaks*

[transcription end]

Moon: Oh my god, that’s adorable.

[bandzboy]

My ask was too long to send previously so I'll try to keep it short this time haha.. I agree with what you say! I think it truly is important to talk about what's happening in the kpop scene, especially lately when so many things have come to light regarding companies and their staff, and the things that have been happening to these idols and groups. It's so dehumanizing to see moas downplaying Gyu's situation and making light of what happened to him. They see their favorite person they CLAIM to support crying but instead of actually talking about WHY or the reason they make memes, hit tweets about shipping or etc?? Do they not see how wrong that is?! He is not an object, he is not a toy, NONE of these idols are but they treat them just like their company does?? Yet they claim they don't? No moa I see has discussed how sad what happened to Beomgyu is, I don't see ANY moa on Twitter or tiktok talk about the reason WHY he was crying. These idols are overworked but the fans couldn't care less. They tweet about them needing rest but then act like nothing happened the next time? They use their vulnerable moments for their edits or their own narrative to prove something but they don't truly care about them or what they're facing or going through.. I truly hope things change for kpop next year and every single idol gets the rest they deserve. I hope they're all okay physically and mentally, it must be so hard to be so overworked like that. I hope these companies get their karma for treating their artists horrible. I'm glad we can talk about this because it seems there's no one or nowhere else too..

this reminds me of a convo i had not that long ago with my bestie tiff (shoutout to tiff btw) where we talked about this situation where kpop stans seem to almost enjoy their faves suffering just so, in a sick and twisted way they can use these situations in fanwars to be like "my fav suffers more than yours" (which i've seen people on twt do not that long ago btw) even tho they know they are overworked or mistreated, they don't do anything about it. it puts these fans in a comfortable position where they have to get real about the industry and its effects on idols. but i guess if they keep suffering it's almost good to these people bc they can keep this "underdog" narrative going that people love WAY too much to play into to show that despite it all, they are still successful. the truth is, they shouldn't have to go through all of these hardships in order to make it. i feel like we can acknowledge them and have more respect towards these idols for that but there's this certain tone of romanticization that kpop stans use to describe these moments that sometimes were very traumatic to idols and companies play on this thing too all of the times and it's weird

but all of this to say that, it truly seems like most kpop stans enjoy that their idols go through tough times and, like you mentioned, use these types of clips where they are crying and being emotional for edits and it's truly unsettling. if i was an idol and i saw my fans doing that with moments where i was at my lowest and my most vulnerable i don't think i would ever want to show emotions in public to anyone ever again. it's just disrespectful and weird overall.

i keep saying this and it feels like the most generic saying in the world at this point but it's evident that some people still don't get that idols are humans. they deserve to be respected as such and to not be seen as entertainment and as commodities like seungkwan said in his statement (and that statement resonated with many idols btw). it's sad that this even need to be said because people just don't truly get it.

i feel like it's time that moas (and other fandoms truly but in this case it's moas) just address the obvious elephant in the room which is the fact that txt as a group went through a lot of shit this year health wise and they are EXHAUSTED from being overworked and soobin went on hiatus because he probably couldn't take this insane workload any longer. part of me can't shake the feeling that he endured for the sake of the group since he is the leader but it got to a point that he couldn't do anymore and honestly, i wish moas would honestly think about this sincerely. this is not a good thing to think about. i am not exactly this happiest when i discuss this but is it necessary for the sake of trying to fight for their rights as workers? FUCKING YES. this is all about giving up your comfort to stand up for the right thing and someone you supposedly love (if some do like they claim). i hope, for the sake of txt, moas start to do better

[lurkingshan]

The Eighth Sense 9&10

Gosh Jae Won looks so sad

Yesssss therapist call him out. Avoiding Ji Hyun is not helping anyone. Hurting and confusing someone because you want to avoid hurting and confusing them - this logic never holds up.

Joon Pyo calling him narcissistic 🤣 You’re right though, Ji Hyun

Ae Ri giving such good advice you truly are a queen👑

Ji Hyun has the best friends. They’re kind, empathetic, supportive. He’s lucky to have found them so quickly.

No Ji Hyun don’t let Eun Ji get into your head!

The hands!!! I am screaming

Yoon Won really feels clueless sometimes, geez. Can she not see that her friend is traumatized? Why is she making him relive the trip? And yeah clearly she is going through her own stuff but ma’am look outside yourself. Even in the state he’s in, Jae Won sees her pain and responds and I wish she could do the same for him.

Jae Won please stop letting this girl hang all over you, she is so manipulative and you must know exactly what she’s doing. Also pretty disgusted with her trying to get him into bed when he’s in this state. She’s despicable.

Oh poor Ji Hyun, that was awful

Yes Jae Won you are being cruel to Ji Hyun at this point. Sit with it, process it, do something about it. That little smile when he stops in front of Ji Hyun’s restaurant - that felt like him making a decision.

Detective Joon Pyo!

Ji Hyun giving him a camera and a sketch 😭

Time to dump her, Jae Won! Yesssss I knew it

She really was a cheater, huh? I’m not surprised.

I like that Jae Won has snapped out of it and now recognizes that allowing himself to slide back into things with Eun Ji was him actually being out of his mind, whereas being with Ji Hyun was real.

LOVE Jae Won going to boss lady for advice. He seems so much lighter just having ended it with Eun Ji.

Not Ji Hyun flashbacks my heart can’t take it

IS THAT CONAN GRAY OMG THIS SHOW IS TRYING TO KILL ME

Omg I’m crying he went to him!!!

THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

This bed montage… how am I supposed to recover

Aww Ji Hyun is still scared

Jae Won reassuring him so clearly, these boys have communicated

Joon Pyo gave them the room for the night, what a great pal

They’re so cute how do I live how do I function

Jae Won looking at Ji Hyun with naked adoration, teasing him about using banmal, putting his jacket on him… I may never recover

I love Ji Hyun asking for clarity, and them talking so openly about why they’re happy. Healthy kings!

Aww yay, glad something good happened for Yoon Won.

Not Ji Hyun admitting he doesn’t actually care about surfing 🤣 and calling Jae Won out on pretending to need a lighter 🤣🤣

Ji Hyun is low key a little scared to part from Jae Won and I get it

Yes Ae Ri put it together!!! I love her, she is officially my favorite woman character in a bl

Jae Won looks so much better. Just putting an end to denying himself Ji Hyun has done wonders for his mood.

This asshole is actually asking for an apology from Jae Won? Get fucked, Tae Hyung

Ahh Jae Won you need to cut this toxic friend out of your life. But we can’t expect him to change his entire personality in a day. And I do like this explanation for why Jae Won keeps him around - he is comforted by his lack of filter and mask. He always knows where he stands with him, and maybe admires a little that he’s so open.

Jae Won openly smiling at Ji Hyun in front of everyone, we love to see it

They gotta figure out when their day one is, this is very important in dramas!

Yesss Bit Na drag him!!!!

Jae Won if you did not actually mean to come out to Yoon Won you need to be more subtle than that 🤣

Yoon Won and Joon Pyo… I’m picking up a vibe

Jae Won is so much kinder to Eun Ji than she deserves

“I want to be alone with you” 👀

Ji Hyun’s endless list of cheesy couple stuff he wants to do is honestly so cute

Hahaha I knew it

“I have no time to think about anything but you”

Ji Hyun, gracious in victory. Not totally buying Eun Ji suddenly being this chill in defeat, though.

T8S is unfortunately doing the very common kdrama thing of giving shitty characters unearned redemption at the end. Tae Hyung and Eun Ji deserved to be cut off, not receive forgiveness they absolutely did not earn.

Ahh that ending was nice. Ji Hyun coming into his confidence - emotional and physical - is such such a great place to leave that character.

I absolutely loved this show. Episode 9 was the peak for me - that was such excellent emotional catharsis and every moment of it felt earned. The final episode was not perfect - some annoying kdrama tropes reared their heads and I thought tonally it was a little too celebratory - but overall I am ending this series feeling fantastic. What a great ride.

[mini-sae]

Her hero :

Homelander was watching the news and rolled his eyes.

Another fucker were robbing a bank, and of course, was too stupid to suceed.

- I guess I have to save the day, again. - He says tiredly while standing up.

- That would be great. Thank you, says Ashley with that disgusting smile.

He went out and flew to the bank. Cops were everywere, trying to control the situation. And people to watch the chaos. Like always.

He sighs and puts his best smile on his face.

- Hello everyone ! I'll be out in a minute.

He went it and when the shooter aimed his gun at him, he turned him to ashes.

There were screams everywhere.

- It's alright. You people can go. Go, go, go.

But of course, everyone stayed. Gathering around him like bees around a pot of honey.

Everyone, except you.

He only saw your back. You were slowly walking towards the exit.

- Thank you, Homelander.

- Yes, thank you so much !

He aknowledged them with a btight smile but he kept his attention on you.

He just saved your fucking life. And you just leave ? For all he know, you didn't even take a look at him.

- You're welcome people. I have to go now. Take care of you all, you're the true heroes.

He can't remember how many times he said those words.

The cops were there to welcome him outside. But he was looking around him.

You were walking on the sidewalk, going only God knows where.

After taking the compliments of everyone, he rised in the air and flew slowly in the sky.

Instead of going back to Vaught, he was following you.

He saw you going into an old building. He used his ears and his x-ray vision to see where your apartment was.

He watched your face with fascination. You were beautiful, even he had to admit that. But you were crying. So softly.

Of course you were scared. All humans are scared in that kind of situation. But still. He deserved a thank you.

He landed in front of your window and knocked.

He heard you gasping before approaching to unlock your window.

- Homelander ?

- Hello sweetheart. Are you okay ?

You looked so surprised, to his contentment.

- Yes, I'm okay. But why are you here ?

- Oh I saw you leaving and I just wanted to make sure that you weren't hurt.

That's not why he was here of course, but saying those words, he finds himself concerned about potential injuries.

He scanned your whole body and winks at you.

- Nope. All good.

You blushed and ran a hand through your hair. He inhaled your scent and sighed.

- May I come in ?

He could hear your heartbeat going wild.

- Why ?

Homelander struggled against the urge of bursting into your home.

- Just to talk a little. You just went through something traumatic.

- I'm fine, don't worry. Actually, it's not my first robbery. - You said with a sad smile.

- You've been a hostage before ?

He should get so mad at you for not letting him in your home, but his curiosity was too much.

- Yeah. A few years ago.

- Where ? Maybe I saved you that day too.

- No, you didn't.

You sounded annoyed.

- It's okay. You're not to blame, of course. It's just that it didn't end well for everyone.

Oh I see. Well I'm sorry.

- Don't be. But thank you for today, really. No one got hurt. I mean none of the hostages. That was good work.

You said that with a tender smile.

Homelander was taken aback. He had your thanks, but it didn't really matter now.

For unknown reasons, he's angry that he wasn't there the last time. What if you got killed during that robbery ? What was he doing that day ?

And you said that he did a good work. Not that he should care, but you praising him stirrs something in him.

- Well I'm glad you survived. Both times. Try to be careful.

He didn't wait any answer before leaving in a hurry. He needed to go back to something he knows.

But even shaming the fuckers at Vought didn't entertained him. He couldn't stop thinking about you.

He was watching the news again. They were talking about his good deeds and people were cheering for the America's hero.

That usually put a smile on his face, but not today. Today, he just wanted to be your hero.

And from now on, he will not leave you ot of his sight ever again.

[absolutely-normal-about-x]

Silly idea :3

Also I also believe that the reason why Volnutt didn’t tell Roll and Barrel the whole main gate mess is because he’s absolutely shaken and possibly traumatized by what happened. I mean, the reason he didn’t do anything while Juno was doing his own thing was because it literally shocked him to the core. Watch helplessly as Juno was basically going to wipe everyone off the island and there was nothing that he couldn’t do to stop it. Oh, Data happened to drop the fact that he used to be a completely different person back then. And at one point needs to become him.

However, he is also terrified that if he becomes Trigger, his memories, personality, and experiences as Volnutt cease to exist. Gone, just being replaced by his former self taking the wheel. A fear that weighs heavily on his heart. He can’t leave everyone especially now he discovers his biological family that loves him dearly. He keeps these insecurities from everyone not wanting to burden them with this knowledge. It haunts him, if not doing anything to stop Juno from killing everyone. So he acts that everything is fine and dandy. Plus he doesn’t want his Dad and siblings to worry so it’s fine But in reality it’s slowly eating him from the inside.

X eventually hears about the incident on the island from Roll. When she brings up when Volnutt returns from the main gate he was completely shaken, never telling her and Barrell what went down. This actually made him worry about what the boy saw. Eventually he asks Volnutt about it out of concern, Volnutt freezes and just says that it’s been resolved so he doesn’t have to worry. But X knows it’s bullshit, it’s an excuse to avoid the subject he’s hiding something. X isn’t mad at him it’s just he worries for him regardless of it and says there’s nothing to be ashamed of telling, seeing that it’s been eating inside of him for some time now.

Volnutt hesitates before finally giving in and begins to tell X what really happened at Main Gate, the mess with Juno, how he almost let everyone die for not reacting quick enough and the reveal of his past identity as megaman trigger. He didn’t notice the tears shed while telling the story. When he finishes, he notices the tears and quickly tries to apologize only to be stunned. The expression on his Father's face was met with pure Horror and sadness in his eyes mixed with other slew of emotions. Volnutt apologizes only to be cut off by his father saying to never apologize about this! It was good for him to tell him but also pulls him in for a hug.

He continues to say that he should have never gone through this. He’s never a burden for him and his siblings, it’s okay to cry, it's better than bottling up everything! He’s here for his child no matter what!! He’s sorry that he wasn’t there to help him at the time, he should have been the one to fight Juno, not him. Even if it took place before they met. He’s sorry that he couldn’t protect him, his child already suffered so much. He deserves so much better

It was those that Volnutt finally broke down for the first time in months after the Main gate incident. He screamed, wailed as loudly as he could. Finally letting all of those repressed emotions and thoughts out in the open. All while his father embraces him, rubbing his back and hair giving his child the comfort that he so desperately deserves. It’s been like that all night before Volnutt finally tires himself out to sleep. X tucking him in before heading back to the kitchen finishing the dishes before sitting down on his chair.

Elysium ... .such a cruel irony that the name of the paradise for Humans and Machines to coexist that he dreamt so long ago is the bane of this era’s earth to suffer, especially his own child. Why…why him? Why does his loved ones suffer the most instead of him?

In the Morning Volnutt wakes up remembering what happened yesterday. It was embarrassing to cry in front of his Dad. But at the same time I felt comforted…is this how it feels to have a Parent? It feels nice. The scent of breakfast was strong enough to snap him out of those thoughts. Going down stairs he's greated of the sight of his Dad making breakfast…huh this is the first time he ever sees him cook. His father turns around giving Volnutt a warm smile telling a good morning and making food, comments that he’s a lil rusty on the cooking but hopes that it’s good. Putting the plate of slightly burned bacon, eggs and extremely fluffy pancakes on the table.

Volnutt smiles, thanking him for yesterday. Sitting eating the food one bite then…scarfs it down. It’s good! Decent but nonetheless good! X sighed, sitting down ruffling his hair affectionately.

Enjoying this quiet moment between father and son.

[georgieluz]

i'm 3 days late but i'm finally answering @lamialamia

so my overall thoughts of the pacific are that i really enjoyed it (is enjoyed the right word? can you really enjoy the significant trauma of watching episodes 4-7 back to back and losing your three favourite characters all in one go? i don't think you can) but i did love a lot of things about it! the cinematography and production was outstanding. i knew it would be, but the way they shot the whole show was really something special! those battle scenes being shot like a very well made horror flick really did something to me. one thing i really wish we got more of was time with the men. i feel like we didn't get deep enough into their characters and personalities, outside of the main three ofc, especially after being told a lot more about certain men and what they were really like outside of how the show portrayed them (eddie jones and his guitar deserved better!!!!!)

but despite that, i still became hopelessly attached to a good few of them. stupidly, ack ack became the love of my life and now i'm probably ruined for life, so that's nice. thanks for that, life. i actually adore eddie jones and obviously, as we all know, i'm way past feral for hoosier over there. i think when i rewatch the show, i'll gain a lot more appreciation for other characters too (though i do already love most of them). i really liked the inclusion of lena's story, she became one of my favourite characters at the end. i was less into leckie's mostly fake love story but i understand they did it for narrative purposes and to sort of give his actions when he was acting up a trigger point.

my favourite thing from the series was definitely ack ack. and eddie. i don't know what it is about those two but they just awoke something in me and now i can't let go. i desperately needed more scenes of them but every ack ack scene gave me something electric so he's probably my favourite thing about the series. i also really liked how close leckie's unit was, they didn't have a thousand scenes or anything massive, but there was something incredibly comforting about the lightheartedness they gave each other that covered the traumatic experience they were all going through. i truly believe those dear vera letters and leckie reading them to his boys were a tool for them all to process what they were seeing but in a way where it could still be passive and not too heavy. i would have liked to have seen more scenes of them all, maybe in place of some of the melbourne romance stuff, but i get why it was the way it was. i appreciated that the show didn't shy away from the absolute horrors of war and even though it only covered things briefly most of the time, it definitely hit a lot of the different nuances involved and i think it did it in a subtle enough way that it actually settles into your brain permanently.

most trauma? i think we all know the answer to that since i've been crying about it since my episode 7 liveblog. honestly, i'm just pretending that episode 7 never happened and all is fine in the world. but i also think that watching eugene's arc killed a part of me inside, it kinda broke me watching him go from this innocent kid who was desperate to serve to being utterly disenchanted and disillusioned with his purpose and everything he thought he knew and believed. his story kinda cracked open my heart in a way i wasn't ready for.

sunshine and happiness.. ack ack being the most wholesome captain ever and basically just taking up residence in my heart. but also i really enjoyed gene and sidney's friendship, they didn't really have many scenes together but it made me happy that despite them never being able to see the world the same again after everything they went through, they both made it home and they had each other. also, i don't even know why, but burgie became one of my favourite characters so that part where he hugged his dad and his brother after getting off the train made me fucking sob with relief. i don't know why but it hit me real hard and i know that's not exactly sunshine and happiness but he made it home and he married his australian sweetheart and he was my favourite in the interview sections and so i just felt this overwhelming amount of relief and happiness for him.

we don't talk about the ass flash