#they want to stay together PAST THAT
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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realized i painted half the environments on the first pages of chapter two in the wrong color and it kinda deflated the determination i had to push myself to get the first comic update out asap :/
#ganondoodles talks#i am so good at digging my own graves of creative failure#i can probably play with color correction but its not gonna look organic#idk i can always see that a thing wasnt painting that way in the first place bc it just doesnt fit right#(havent been able to work on anything for the past few days bc my lil brother was here and i just wanted to spend time with him)#(dont see him very often :( played the new mario party together until i couldnt stay awake anymore lol)#i am extremely caught between writing totk rant and concept art for the rewrite and ... comic stuff#i feel like the longer i dont get either done the less its gonna be worth it#and i keep flip flopping back and forth (and with depression artblock kicking my ass too) without getting anywhere#im guessing its gonna go on for so long it will either be far too little relevant anymore or my brain loses its fixation on it#i dont want it all to be yet another ambitious and forever unfinished project ...............#but i cant ever finish anything so i supposed my worry and struggle with all that is in vain anyway
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(Of course you would.)
How they both wish to be free etc etc
#the sparrow parable#HE WOULDNT ACTUALLY but there’s a lot of interpretation to the question#being left behind literally but also even if they escaped together#would stanley want the narrator to stay around? would he try to move past the parable?#does Stanley need the narrator like the narrator needs stanley?#these are the questions.
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Rank 54: The true king of Numbers!!
#Yuma's power of believing in people was what strengthened their bond#Yuma had always believed in his friends and he had trusted Astral even when he didn't remember his past and his mission#and even in that moment he was dueling against Astral because he believed in a better future for him#a better future for them#I think that this power what was Astral loved more about Yuma#because it was Yuma's trust that made Astral believe more in himself#and even if this first and last duel between them is tragic#I can't help but think that Astral was happy to see that Yuma was ready to fight to stay with him#and also that Astral already knew that he would have sacrificed himself even if Yuma had won#and because of that he wanted to be sure that Yuma wouldn't lose this important power of believing#I'm losing my mind about how they are looking at each other#Yuma's eyes are filled with determination#he is fighting this duel with all of himself because he wants to save Astral#he still believes in a future where they can be together#while Astral's expression is full of love#he simply adores Yuma#He loves Yuma and his spirit his Kattobingu his power of believing in people#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#zexal#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal manga#zexal manga spoiler#(I also have to add how stunning Astral looks here)#(I love him so much)#(I mean he always looks beautiful and stunning)#(It's just that I keep adoring him more every time I see him)
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i like the guy i'm seeing quite a lot already it's dumb dskjfdkjdsf. it's making me realize that i don't think i liked my ex as much to be honest, even tho we were together for like 5 months. they were nice and all that and we had good sex, but i think i was more into the fact that it was my first queer relationship (and my first relationship period in 3.5 years) than into them, if that makes sense? maybe that makes me sound like a jerk idk. but i'm literally just realizing this now and it now suddenly makes sense why i was so hesitant to committing to them on the long term, and even wondering if i was gray aro for a moment there (i mean the possibility is still there).
there's also a part of me that fears i'll be "missing out" on something if i get with him more seriously while not having been with another woman. like it would invalidate my queerness as a biseuxal woman if i'm with a cis man. i know it's really stupid and not the case at all, i'd still be queer, and i really hate that my brain is even going there. maybe it's because society (and the LGBTQ community too tbh) keeps invalidating bisexual people not being in a "gay relationship". but yeah. bottom line is i really like him and he makes me feel really good and it's really really nice.
#i had 2 events the past 2 nights and usually i'm like. all burned out from socialization after that#usually i'd wanna stay home and all alone#but nah today i still wanted to see him and we spent the whole day together and i didn't wanna go home#2024 was such a hellscape for me i think 2025 is already much much better and is giving me a break lol#(i started seeing this guy just before the holidays so it's still very new and recent but he makes me feel soooo!!!)#shut up alie
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why am I actually scared to sleep alone lol wtf😭
#okay that place had really thin walls okay there was always noise of guests and stuff#and i always slept at 10 i physically couldn't stay up past that max 11#my stupid brother wants to sleep alone in another room 🙄 idiot#ik this is an adjusting thing but i miss my parents lol#they're together so less i was actually kinda enjoying it just like old times#AAAAAAAAAH WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME i was literally so miserable like 2 days ago when mom couldn't stop complaining about dad#staying up late sucks lol turns out i wasn't healed i was just sleeping early😭
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☀️
#y’all know when it’s a Doing Things Day?#well today I slept in way less than I wanted to and then decided I can’t take a nap to try to reset my sleep schedule#so I went and did some sight singing of choral pieces with friends (lamentations of Jeremiah/o vos omnes and Armistice 1918 took. me. out.)#as in they went so well (helped that half the people had done them before)#and then picked up two things from buy nothing#returned my friend’s wrench set#convinced another sister to come to weekend warrior with me#got some shoes I needed and two nice shirts at the thrift store#got art supplies I needed at dollar tree and ran into a deacon from my church there and had a nice chat#went grocery shopping#ran into an old friend who lives in another state in the grocery store??#called my boyfriend for a while while washing dishes#touched up a painting#read my first Terry Pratchett book (Equal Rites - it was amusing and enjoyable but not super special to me)#(I know there’s so much more! just dipping my toes in)#made dinner and prepped some extra things for future meals#spent hours going through little things I’d saved and pasting them into a journal#now going to read and annotate Life Together before bed#is this what it’s like when you get up and stay awake????#is this what y’all do?
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Handsome Jack body pillow arrived. Y'know what that means? STRIFE!
♤ I've been waitin' to punch that face all week. ♤
#proposed ship name: horseman#i was punching slow bc i was gonna do gifs but then i realized i cant stitch them together on my phone better just do video#sorry for the weird camera angle. i broke my phone tripod filming pornographic material. no joke#ah probably blacklisting my post for saying that but idc its a shitpost anyway#homestuck#borderlands#borderlandsstuck#wait is it one s? idr#borderlandstuck#bro#bro strider#bro strider cosplay#handsome jack#handsome jack body pillow#ironically ive used this same bro shirt for my handsome jack cosplay in the past#stay tuned i got a silly selfie next#Cori.exe#Create.exe#i guess?#ShitPost.exe#video#no sound#what the fuck do i tag this lmao#but fr i woke up the other day ready to fucking punch something bc i had an annoying dream and i was like...#...man. my hj pillow would have fit the perfect job description that i wanted to punch#anyway. ill throw a real punch later. hes going in the wash before hes allowed in my bed. dont want those hyperion cooties yknow#me#lol#cosplay#oh damn i just remembered i wS gonna put the meteor slice gif i made ages ago in this ugh fuck
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IM FREEEEEE
#(FROM PROJECTS)#personal#the engineering chronicles#WILL HOPEFULLY NEVER NEED TO SLEEP THREE NIGHTS ON THE FLOOR OF THE ENGINEERING BUILDING AGAIN!!!#one class the final project was to build a karaoke machine which my partner and i had planned on making look like actual speakers and#microphone but we couldn’t find the stuff in time and her mom made a joke abt singing into hairbrushes and we decided to take that and#run lol we used a pink sparkly makeup box to store our circuit and cut out holes for the speakers and decorated it with makeup and put the#hairbrush mics inside and it was very fun actually and our class voted us as one of the groups to go to project day which was pretty cool!!#project day did get canceled bc of. asnow day which was unfortunate especially considering we stayed up until 4am the night before#preparing our documents for it and trying to perfect the karaoke machine when we could have been putting that time toward project number#2 😐 but whatever we still get our extra credit and i can say i qualified for it so im happy enough#then project 2 was for another class but we’re lab partners in both (+ another guy for this project) and it was digital monster pet so we#made a dragon i was mostly on design so i hand CADed the whole thing which was living hell if i never want to lay eyes on solidworks#again but also he came out very cute after MUCH hasle putting him together with all the wires and components bc our wires from the kit are#so bad they’re constantly getting disconnected from each other which we didn’t know would happen bc the labs we usually do we don’t have to#connect them together like that since you’re not routing them thru bodies etc and they’ve worked great until now but anywya.#i did the lcd faces and the light sensor and a couple other things + a lot of the code was copy and paste from past labs and fitting it to#suit the project but for the most part it was a shit ton of hardware on my end while she and the other guy managed the rest of the code#which i really wish i could have been more involved with but oh well. as it is though he’s my baby i birthed him <3 we’re planning on#meeting up over weekends next semester to change some stuff and add other extra features that we missed we got a decent grade 85% but we#all agreed we don’t want to leave him like this we want to add the extra features we had come up with and also i think we should switch out#our motors for servos bc the motors we were required to use#instead suck they’re not strong at all compared to what a servo can do for you. also we want to make it so you can not only pet him which w#already have with light sensors but also wash him with a Hall effect sensor and magnet so like we’d stick the sensor inside and the magnet#inside a little cad brush or sponge is what im envisioning and i have an expression in mind for what we’d do then. also paint him and#redesign the platform he stands on bc it’s rlly cramped and also make a pcb bc we only have him with the microcontroller and breadboards rn#and i might mess with his face piece a bit too im not sure. oh and speakers!!! those were technically a requirement but we didn’t get them#done on time but i want to make him play music sooooo bad so definitely that. anyway want to be more involved in the software when we do#all this. pretty excited actually :]
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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i miss succession and the community it gave me </3
#i know most of you are still there but it's not the same. and that's okay because it's been nearly a year since it ended!! it's normal#but i also miss it. spring and summer 2022? some of the happiest time of my life!!! i've always wanted to be a part of something#and i truly got to experience that. and i am grateful!! but thinking about it makes me nostalgic and also a little sad.#mostly because i feel like i'm never going to have that again. and also because i miss the people. it's wild how you talk to someone daily#and now it's been over a year since we've been in contact. a specific kind of a heartbreak!!#yes the fact succ ended is hitting me now. a year later. everybody moved on i stayed here <3#but anyways i am so so grateful for all of the people who have been here experiencing the mass hysteria of succ together!!!! the past years#have been worth it because of you <3#yes the loneliness hit me bad. shhh it's midnight i'm allowed
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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I wish some people never had access to internet at all...
TW assault, TW r*pe
#this is one of the main reasons why I don't get into the fandom that much and just stay in my own personal bubble#I already have a bad relationship with gilturia and I just can't see those two together without having a bad taste in my mouth#despite the fact there's a lot good art with those two#and I know that not all gilturia shippers are like that#and I understand that most of them ship those two because they just look aesthetically pleasing and look good together but still...#I can't just look calmly at those two especially knowing their background and how Gilgamesh actually treats her#and honestly because of such moments sometimes I feel disgust towards Gil (obviously) but I also feel disgust towards myself#for liking such terrible character#and honestly I fear that someday because of such moments I would stop liking him or even start to hate him#but I don't want that because despite his negative traits he still is well written and very deep character that has a lot of layers to him#plus he helped me to get thought a lot of hardships especially after these past two years throughout which I got attached to him even more#and his quote that he said to Hakuno ''No matter what adversity you face there's no other way for you but forward''#cheered me up a lot of times#sorry for the rant#I just had this things building up in my chest and these tweets just made me kinda snap#my ramblings#personal
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okay since I'm halfway stuck in reorganising the piles and piles of clothes in my room on a whim, I pulled together two pieces I though would be fun!
obviously not the same shade of lightwash/bleached denim BUT I think it works <3 throw in a fun graphic/band tee, chunky 80s sneakers, some big hair, big earrings, bracelets and chains and sunglasses, and we're in business!
cropped vest is a fleamarket find (originally from a cheap fast fashion chain store in germany), hight waist jeans with buttons to attach matching denim suspenders are true 80s vintage from my aunt's closet!
they used to fit me a bit better, but I've totally fallen off the workout routine bandwagon last year so once I get back into taking proper care of my meatsuit they'll be more comfy around the hips and thighs lol
#i wanna put together fun little outfits again and maybe revive my ootd sideblog lol#i was thriving over there during the pandemic/lockdown years#was the only thing to do besides stay in bed 20 hours a day due to chronic pain and fatigue and being unemployed#the grocery shopping trips each week were the chance for me to dress up as freaky as i wanted#and i really miss that especially with how much I've neglected myself due to work the past year tbh
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Sometimes I watch this episode and I sit on it, on this scene in particular , think about it so hard because its simplicity holds such a … Subtly tragical tone I ended up catching on my second rewatch (of thousand). And, you know, on my third rewatch it kinda started hurting.
Looking back at the whole season and the way Junpei and Izumi have been written in their arcs and their resolution, I think Junpei eventually remains the loneliest of the lonely between them and it just sucks how Izumi got to open about her solitude to him, then she got support from everyone else and truly felt included in a family, whereas Junpei just had to put up with his struggles on his own, fighting against his own shadow throwing mean truths at him.
This scene in particular is really harsh on him and in my opinion it kinda needed a sort of continuation in the form of a parallelism. Junpei and Izumi are the Frontier relationship that got most amount of those, especially in the bridge from ep 4 to this episode. They got a very linear development always making it clear how they are different sides of the same coin, how they are a mirror to each other and can grow up thanks to looking at the most uncomfortable masks of themselves through each other. So, it’s absolutely a shame the writers allowed Izumi to get away with that.
“Don’t talk like you know!”
Izumi, you just don’t know anything about him.
Still, the most bittersweet and, again, extremely tragical detail is that back then, Junpei didn’t even know he was as lonely as her, either. He just lies down on the grass, staring at her while letting her viciously vent at him. He’s concerned about her outburst, but doesn’t really realize he’s as miserable as her, if not even more miserable, because tell me if it’s not just sad to be a kid believing to have thousand of friends around him, be totally blind about the greyness your life is actually dominated by. He can’t acknowledge the reason why he followed Izumi on the train in a first place was connected to how lonely he felt she was. As lonely as him.
You can laugh about this statement of mine but, seriously, they pulled a sort of Mr Gatsby character here.
On a brighter note, though, I also like wondering if what Izumi says in the very first drama isn’t a hint about how she eventually understood that as well. “You have got lot on your mind but like keeping it all inside”. Maybe, just maybe, she also came to feeling all the stuff he concealed behind his magical tricks.
Honestly, how depressing Junpei’s backstory is. We just got to see a little of it and it still hit home.
#junpei shibayama#izumi orimoto#junzumi#digimon frontier#junpei#izumi#you know the more Joseph made me notice these things the more I started realizing years ago I would have hated him#I feel Junpei’s story so deeply#all the consequences such a life had on him are so realistic it makes me suffer#the way the writers just built him in the subtlest way as possible is so annoying#I feel like they always treated Izumi much better but despite flashbacks over flashbacks she just fell flat#she could have been a story of so much more and yet it just stays there to me#oh yes Izumi rejected the girl who wanted to go to the toilet together#INSTEAD JUNPEI????#I will recall the rain scene and my heart will fall?????#I’m so down for what these two could have been so thank you Frontier for having given me a past time#analyses#gifs
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